Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast
Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2: Hey guys, we welcome to the Almost Famous Podcast. Today's
Speaker 2: guest Day Love guest Day. Today it is Kelly flanagain.
Speaker 2: You know that, you guys know her from Peter Weber's
Speaker 2: season from back in twenty twenty and she was eliminated
Speaker 2: in week seven, but then she dated Peter once or twice,
Speaker 2: maybe three times.
Speaker 3: We'll ask about it. Kelly, welcome to.
Speaker 2: The show, and we just wanted to extend our sincere
Speaker 2: condolences by the passing of your dad less than a
Speaker 2: month ago.
Speaker 4: We're so so sorry. I just can't imagine what you're
Speaker 4: going through.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you guys. Good to be on here. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's been my life has been in shambles the past
Speaker 3: couple of months. So hopefully we get into that, but
Speaker 3: it's it's definitely been a lot.
Speaker 1: What do you.
Speaker 5: Okay? I think with interviews with people like you, and
Speaker 5: it's interesting. I remember I think it wasn't your last
Speaker 5: time on the show, but your very first time on
Speaker 5: the show was during COVID. I remember exactly where a sitting,
Speaker 5: I remember a lot of what we talked about and
Speaker 5: now when we interview people like you who have you know,
Speaker 5: a few years removed from the show, obviously been through
Speaker 5: a lot which will dive into I think one of
Speaker 5: the most helpful things for listeners is like try to
Speaker 5: give a relatability and a perspective, because you're probably going
Speaker 5: through a lot of stuff that people are going through
Speaker 5: listening to it, maybe not all at the same time,
Speaker 5: but like people are going to be able to relate.
Speaker 5: So when you say shambles, what do you mean by that?
Speaker 5: Because this has been a this is like a the
Speaker 5: last month for you, I cannot imagine and I don't
Speaker 5: have words to like try to like console, but like
Speaker 5: I just can't imagine, And so can you explain shambles
Speaker 5: a little bit?
Speaker 2: Yeah, and don't be afraid to cry like I've been.
Speaker 4: I'd probably cry too same.
Speaker 3: I've literally I've been trying to figure out like when
Speaker 3: I could actually come out and speak about it, because
Speaker 3: I who I thought I was like cool and I
Speaker 3: was going to be like all right, No, it's like the.
Speaker 2: Second anybody like you're like, okay, I can hatele those
Speaker 2: and then like words starts trying to come out of
Speaker 2: your mouth and I can't do it either.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, it's stuff. So I one, I I'll start
Speaker 3: with this because this doesn't make me cry. I went
Speaker 3: through a really really bad breakup and I was kind
Speaker 3: of in a position where I was like I looked
Speaker 3: back and the information that I was finding out a
Speaker 3: lot through social media. I have never had this amount
Speaker 3: of people reach out to me to tell me like
Speaker 3: who I was dating and like what was going on
Speaker 3: behind my backs or who they were truly. And I
Speaker 3: think that's just like a really really confusing state because
Speaker 3: I was with this person for almost like a year
Speaker 3: and a half and I was just like I in
Speaker 3: my own head gathered like, oh, this is who that
Speaker 3: person is. And then after the fact, when I started
Speaker 3: figuring out like the cheating and all of that stuff,
Speaker 3: like what he was doing behind my back, that's like
Speaker 3: minuscule to what I found out. Who I found out
Speaker 3: like like what was going on and who he truly
Speaker 3: was was a situation where it's probably the most confusing
Speaker 3: state of mind you'll ever be in because you've convinced
Speaker 3: yourself of like I know this person, I've been with
Speaker 3: this person, I was living with this person, and to
Speaker 3: find out like all of it or not all of it,
Speaker 3: but a lot of it was like not true and
Speaker 3: a lie. It definitely messes with your head. And I'll
Speaker 3: sit here and say with that, it's more of like
Speaker 3: it's a hard breakup at first because the confusion and
Speaker 3: like you're in your head and you're like what just happened?
Speaker 3: But then in the long run, you look back and
Speaker 3: you're like, who thank God, Like that wasn't my life.
Speaker 3: Thank God I got out of that situation. So that
Speaker 3: was really hard for me. And if you guys want
Speaker 3: me to go more into that, I can. But then
Speaker 3: the second thing that happened is like right when that
Speaker 3: was going on as well, my father got sick and
Speaker 3: I was just like, WHOA, what's going on? What's going on?
Speaker 3: And I always knew my dad was a bit older,
Speaker 3: but like we were just here with him for Thanksgiving,
Speaker 3: and like I remember he kept saying like I'm super cold,
Speaker 3: I'm super cold. We're out to dinner. But he was
Speaker 3: like in high spirits and like everything was good. And
Speaker 3: then we got a call that like he was in
Speaker 3: the hospital and we're like whoa, Like what's going on?
Speaker 3: So I immediately I was unfortunately in Chicago for a funeral,
Speaker 3: and so I had to like immediately fly down. And
Speaker 3: for the next three weeks we were in the hospital
Speaker 3: with him, and he had double pneumonia and the rhinovirus
Speaker 3: I think, so it was just like a huge hit
Speaker 3: on him. And then we just kind of kept thinking,
Speaker 3: We're like, is there a recovery to this? Is there
Speaker 3: a full recover to this? Like like what's going to happen?
Speaker 3: And in those three weeks were they were hard, but
Speaker 3: also I'm like really really grateful for them. Oh god, God,
Speaker 3: I thought I was gonna be able to hold it together.
Speaker 3: But I was grateful for those three weeks because like
Speaker 3: we got to like spend like precious time with him
Speaker 3: and like, oh my god, I can't.
Speaker 4: Oh it's okay.
Speaker 3: We were able to like tell him how much we
Speaker 3: appreciated him and how great he was, and like just
Speaker 3: how much we like valued him as like a father
Speaker 3: and also like a person. And then every day was
Speaker 3: like hard because he was in such a fragile state
Speaker 3: in that hospital and like us kids were like taking
Speaker 3: shifts and the smallest thing, like the smallest thing could
Speaker 3: have made him pass. So we were like on top
Speaker 3: of it, like you have five out of the six
Speaker 3: kids or attorneys. So you have like a bunch of
Speaker 3: attorneys in a room, but we don't know anything medical,
Speaker 3: and we're just like trying to figure it out. Like
Speaker 3: we learned about vitals, we learned about like medications and
Speaker 3: like them interacting like his daily medication. Some of them
Speaker 3: were interacting with the medication that he needed in the hospital.
Speaker 3: And so we're like sitting there calling people nurses, doctors,
Speaker 3: family friends. Like it's so crazy because I can't even
Speaker 3: tell you how many people on social media, Like when
Speaker 3: I was doing my post reached out to me and
Speaker 3: they're like watch for this, watch for that, like helping me,
Speaker 3: and I was like, whoa, this is crazy. Like social
Speaker 3: media is a very very powerful place, and a lot
Speaker 3: of other people like experienced the same thing that he
Speaker 3: was going through. Like I remember one message was they're
Speaker 3: like listen and my grandpa, I think it was, is
Speaker 3: like ninety years old, had double pneumonia, was able to
Speaker 3: come back from it. And we're like, damn, okay, so
Speaker 3: it gives you hope, But yeah, it was. It was
Speaker 3: a tough three weeks of us like being with him,
Speaker 3: and I'm not gonna lie, it's like exhausting because you're
Speaker 3: in fight or flight, Like if something happens, you're like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, am I responsible? What do I do?
Speaker 3: But I really appreciate like those three weeks like spending
Speaker 3: with him.
Speaker 5: You mentioned the rhinovirus. What is that?
Speaker 3: No, I think it's like a new thing. Okay, whether
Speaker 3: it's the flu, whether it's similar to COVID. I think
Speaker 3: it's something along those lines, but I think it's a
Speaker 3: little bit newer.
Speaker 5: I'll say this, I'm in a weird emotional state myself
Speaker 5: right now, where like two weeks away from having a
Speaker 5: little girl. So it's I'm like on the edge of
Speaker 5: breaking most moments. I'm sitting here and I'm watching you
Speaker 5: and like, it's not fun obviously to come on an
Speaker 5: interview and cry like you're apologizing. You shouldn't apologize at all.
Speaker 5: That's kind of why we do it. And I'm also
Speaker 5: thinking what better testimony, Well to have a daughter like you,
Speaker 5: but then to know that your daughter is so emotional
Speaker 5: over your like passing, Like what better way to like
Speaker 5: remember him? Yeah, and what better way to like, you know,
Speaker 5: if you just came on here, you're like, yeah, that
Speaker 5: was really tough. That sucked. You want to talk about
Speaker 5: a breakup, like it's I just want to tell you,
Speaker 5: like this is this is an incredible like testament to
Speaker 5: him as a father and as a person, that this
Speaker 5: is what your reaction is.
Speaker 3: Then I truly like have never met anyone like him.
Speaker 3: And I know a lot of people say that and
Speaker 3: they're like my father was the best, this, that and
Speaker 3: the other. But like that man, like what he like
Speaker 3: gave us provided for us, like he would like literally
Speaker 3: never see know to us. Like one of the things
Speaker 3: he said to us, he was like, listen, I want
Speaker 3: to give you guys an education and if you guys
Speaker 3: want to go through that, like that's the one thing
Speaker 3: I could give you that no one can take away.
Speaker 3: Like he was just he just had like a genius mindset.
Speaker 3: Like he was a smart guy, but not only a
Speaker 3: smart guy, Like he didn't have an ego behind him.
Speaker 3: Like he was always so kind to literally anyone, like
Speaker 3: so generous, like generous in ways that like people don't
Speaker 3: even think of. But the law firm that he created,
Speaker 3: like those people were his family. Like people go to
Speaker 3: work and people are like they they don't assume that
Speaker 3: your boss is going to be like overly nice to
Speaker 3: you or like treat you as if like your family,
Speaker 3: Like my dad like that office, his family, all that stuff.
Speaker 3: And what's crazier too, is he came from like a
Speaker 3: broken family. Like this man didn't really know the definission
Speaker 3: of family. Like he had a mom and a dad.
Speaker 3: His dad had him in later years. His mom was
Speaker 3: a bit younger, but she like abandoned him and his brother,
Speaker 3: and he was like kind of on his own, was
Speaker 3: being raised by his grandma for a little bit. He
Speaker 3: always like glorified his dad, but like his dad wasn't
Speaker 3: necessarily hands on. So my dad came from this broken family,
Speaker 3: never thought he was going to have a family, Like
Speaker 3: he was like I just don't think it's in my cards.
Speaker 3: And he got married at forty eight, Like he got
Speaker 3: married a lot later and my mom was thirty six,
Speaker 3: so like they were an older couple. And then they
Speaker 3: decide to have six kids in seven years.
Speaker 2: I saw you post that on Instagram. I thought that
Speaker 2: was really really special, right he started seting then he
Speaker 2: was just like no, let's just keep it going.
Speaker 3: And he just for my mom she really wanted, but
Speaker 3: he was like down for it. He's like all right whatever,
Speaker 3: like he was he wasn't like this very powerful guy
Speaker 3: that had an ego behind him and was like you
Speaker 3: do this, you do that. Like he was a really
Speaker 3: powerful guy and like had a lot of success, but
Speaker 3: like he like was never phased by anything. Like he
Speaker 3: was like, all right, if you want to do that,
Speaker 3: go ahead, like sure money, Like what do you want?
Speaker 3: Like you just see a lot of people in power
Speaker 3: these days have like this ego behind them where they're
Speaker 3: like you listen to me, and these are the rules
Speaker 3: and that and the other. And he just like let
Speaker 3: my mom be who she was, do what she wants.
Speaker 3: And my mom's like a little bit nutty. We love her,
Speaker 3: but she's a little bit nutty. And he was just
Speaker 3: like always rolling his eyes like, oh oh god, Connie,
Speaker 3: like you're you're a special one, you know. So yeah,
Speaker 3: it's just like looking back on the situation, like I
Speaker 3: can't say, like how grateful I am.
Speaker 2: You also have a testament of like how much you
Speaker 2: all looked up to him because five of the six
Speaker 2: of you became lawyers with him, as you know, your aspiration.
Speaker 3: But he never like put pressure on us to be
Speaker 3: like you guys have to be lawyers, Like it was
Speaker 3: all our choices, which is really cool. Like he never
Speaker 3: pressured us to do anything, Like even when I went
Speaker 3: on The Bachelor, he was like, yeah, do what you want.
Speaker 3: Like I don't understand it, but do what you want.
Speaker 3: Talking about being an influencer, like he thought it was
Speaker 3: the coolest thing in the world. He was like, I
Speaker 3: don't get it, but he was like I think Kelly
Speaker 3: like holds up a person, people like like the person,
Speaker 3: then they buy it. Like he was so proud, like
Speaker 3: telling all of his friends, and he was always like,
Speaker 3: so many people look at this stuff, like I can't believe,
Speaker 3: like the people that follow her, and like the amount
Speaker 3: of numbers, Like he was always so intrigued, but like
Speaker 3: was always so supportive and it was really cool.
Speaker 4: That's so sweet.
Speaker 2: He passed away on Christmas Day, Yeah, and you said
Speaker 2: that he was just holding out for that because that
Speaker 2: was his very holiday.
Speaker 3: Yeah. So growing up, like again, he had like a
Speaker 3: broken family and he would say things like some Christmases
Speaker 3: like he didn't have anywhere to go. Man, I thought
Speaker 3: it was going to be able to keep it together,
Speaker 3: but he sometimes like didn't have anywhere to go for Christmas,
Speaker 3: And so it kind of became a thing for him
Speaker 3: when we were growing up, Like he would like panic,
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, he would like panic, and he just
Speaker 3: wanted to make sure we all had like a good
Speaker 3: Christmas growing up, and like he would do outrageous things,
Speaker 3: like outrageous like he would get we had like a
Speaker 3: living room in Chicago that had like a really tall ceiling.
Speaker 3: He would get like trees from Wisconsin on these like
Speaker 3: massive trucks like ship down to our house. That's so cool. Yeah,
Speaker 3: to make sure like all of us had a great
Speaker 3: Christmas because like because like he never did growing up,
Speaker 3: but yeah, so like Christmas became just like huge to
Speaker 3: him and he always like appreciated it and like wanted
Speaker 3: to go so far out of his way to make
Speaker 3: sure like everyone was happy and had a great Christmas
Speaker 3: and like had a bunch of presents and like it
Speaker 3: was just like our house was lit up like crazy,
Speaker 3: like we always had Christmas lights everywhere. So I think
Speaker 3: he just wanted to like give that to us. And
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I think he like knew so he
Speaker 3: was we brought him home. One thing he wanted was
Speaker 3: for him to be home, and he was like, I
Speaker 3: don't want to be in this hospital anymore. And there
Speaker 3: would be days where he'd be like doing super well,
Speaker 3: so we were able to communicate with him, and a
Speaker 3: lot of days he was like full fledged sleeping, but
Speaker 3: sometimes it would be like hold your hand, like squeezer hand,
Speaker 3: or like do this if like you want this, that
Speaker 3: and the other. So he there was one day where
Speaker 3: he just had like a lot of energy in him
Speaker 3: and he's like, get me out at this place. I
Speaker 3: don't want to be here. I don't want to be here.
Speaker 3: I want to go home. I don't I want to
Speaker 3: go home, and so we're like, all right, his goal
Speaker 3: is he wants to be home. The only problem was
Speaker 3: he was like in a really fragile state that we
Speaker 3: didn't know if he could make it on the car
Speaker 3: ride home because he was like he was on all
Speaker 3: this oxygen and there was like little things that kept happening,
Speaker 3: whether it was like his blood pressure dropping or his
Speaker 3: respiratory was too high and we had to switch masks
Speaker 3: and do all this oxygen stuff. So we're like, oh, man,
Speaker 3: like are we going to be able to get him there?
Speaker 3: And we got him here and the ride was fine,
Speaker 3: even though a bunch of doctors were like telling us
Speaker 3: otherwise we got him here, and he was here for
Speaker 3: like a couple of days, and then when we told
Speaker 3: him like Merry Christmas, like you made it to Christmas, like,
Speaker 3: his vitals just started going.
Speaker 5: We've talked about the like the importance of making it
Speaker 5: to Christmas for him and the legacy that he has
Speaker 5: left with you and the memories that he's left with you.
Speaker 5: I guess because I don't have a lot of words
Speaker 5: right now, Kelly, I think to kind of do a
Speaker 5: very odd transition into a breakup. But before we do that,
Speaker 5: I do want to ask you, with all that we've
Speaker 5: just said, what, like what will this memory be now?
Speaker 5: I mean, obviously Christmas Day was an important day to him,
Speaker 5: It's going to be an important day to you for
Speaker 5: many reasons now to remember, to celebrate, you know, to
Speaker 5: pass that on. But as we now, you know heal
Speaker 5: the best we can and move forward, like what will
Speaker 5: the memory of your dad be that you want people
Speaker 5: to remember?
Speaker 3: I think I'm going to talk about something a little
Speaker 3: bit different, just because I need to like keep it together,
Speaker 3: and then we'll go to that. One thing I do
Speaker 3: want to say is this was like a learning experience
Speaker 3: for me that I've never dealt with and I know
Speaker 3: a lot of people go through this. It's a way
Speaker 3: of life. I personally just never knew like this kind
Speaker 3: of pain existed. And again, like I just personally want
Speaker 3: to thank every single person that reached out to me
Speaker 3: through social media because I said, like I don't know
Speaker 3: what this means, but like the amount of people that
Speaker 3: like have experienced grief and was like messaging me and
Speaker 3: like telling me all this stuff, Like then I never
Speaker 3: like wish it upon anyone, and I know, again it's
Speaker 3: a way of life, Like it's a really confusing state,
Speaker 3: and like so many people who are messaging me, and
Speaker 3: to be honest, like I was reading like all of it,
Speaker 3: but I couldn't even respond to people because every time
Speaker 3: I would just break down, like when I would go
Speaker 3: to respond, but I was looking at all of it,
Speaker 3: and it's just so crazy to me that like so
Speaker 3: many people, especially at my age, I have even dealt
Speaker 3: with something like this. And again, like I'm not naive.
Speaker 3: I know it's a way of life, but it's so
Speaker 3: hard because you have this person that like you love
Speaker 3: and you're like okay, now, like how do I cope
Speaker 3: with it? Like what do you do, and like people
Speaker 3: would say, like you just always have this type of
Speaker 3: grief like in you like this sadness, but like you
Speaker 3: get stronger, so it like never goes away. And I
Speaker 3: think what's different And like a breakup is like you're like, Okay,
Speaker 3: I got out of that situation. You get some closure
Speaker 3: in some sense, and then you're like then you move
Speaker 3: on and you move on to like a next person
Speaker 3: and you're like, okay, this is fine, Like you start
Speaker 3: being grateful and you're like that person wasn't for me
Speaker 3: and all of this stuff. With this, it's just like
Speaker 3: a different kind of pain where you're like I love
Speaker 3: that person, I didn't want them to go. You can't
Speaker 3: necessarily like have closure to be like, well that person
Speaker 3: wasn't good to me or this person you know that
Speaker 3: person did this. Like with breakups, it's so different and
Speaker 3: the pain is so different because you're just like you
Speaker 3: get closure on that, but with this you don't. And
Speaker 3: you can't sit there and be like, well my dad
Speaker 3: was like not a good person and I'm so glad
Speaker 3: that like this happened. Like it is, it's wild. It's
Speaker 3: wild to deal with. But again, like social media is
Speaker 3: a powerful place, and like people have been messaging me,
Speaker 3: like reaching out, like telling me how they dealt with
Speaker 3: it and all this stuff, and yeah, it's it's weird,
Speaker 3: but there are the first couple of days I was
Speaker 3: like a mess, like an absolute mess actually the first
Speaker 3: like week or two. But then you just like day
Speaker 3: by day get like stronger, and that's something that I learned,
Speaker 3: like it never goes away. And just.
Speaker 4: Thank you for sharing that, because yeah, I probably can't even.
Speaker 2: Talk right now either, but but like it's always been
Speaker 2: my biggest fear to lose one of my parents.
Speaker 6: And then you know, you get married and then like
Speaker 6: your biggest spirits love at your spouse, then you have kids,
Speaker 6: and then like your real biggest spirits was your kids.
Speaker 3: But like.
Speaker 6: I I've never experienced any of it. It's like the
Speaker 6: scariest thing ever. And I feel so much for what
Speaker 6: you're going through.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, but like I can't be Ashley at the
Speaker 3: end of the day, Like I can't be so sad
Speaker 3: over it, because like we look back and we do
Speaker 3: have to be grateful. Like my dad was eighty seven
Speaker 3: years old, like he was at an older age. He
Speaker 3: has experienced so much in his life, like everything and
Speaker 3: it's like he experienced everything. He had so many kids,
Speaker 3: we all loved him, and then like he got to
Speaker 3: even be with some of his grandkids. He just had
Speaker 3: like a beautiful, beautiful life. So it's like he wasn't
Speaker 3: cut short of anything, and you have to like remind
Speaker 3: yourself of that to be like, he lived a beautiful,
Speaker 3: beautiful life. So yeah, it's like it's hard.
Speaker 5: There's an interesting statement you made there where the grief
Speaker 5: will always be inside of you, but you'll grow stronger
Speaker 5: because I think we could, we should would We would
Speaker 5: sit here with you and talk about this moment and
Speaker 5: your dad and who he was to you and your
Speaker 5: family for hours, and it wouldn't do it justice. We
Speaker 5: will make the very weird transition.
Speaker 3: I have a good transition point.
Speaker 2: Well, okay, okay, what did your dad think about your ex.
Speaker 5: Who wronged you?
Speaker 3: So, to be honest, my dad was never like a
Speaker 3: judgy person, Like that's more you know, my mom will
Speaker 3: have more of an outward voice on things, but my
Speaker 3: dad was like are you okay? Like he was never
Speaker 3: he never he like never talked shit.
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's like my dad, my dad, Can you just
Speaker 7: call someone out and they suck no.
Speaker 3: He was like, no, they're great, They're great like that.
Speaker 3: So it was you know, I think actually my mom
Speaker 3: was like, can you put your podcast up here on
Speaker 3: the TV and out of like all of it, like
Speaker 3: my parents watching it. I think some of my siblings
Speaker 3: were here too. He said, he was like, hell, you
Speaker 3: look great on TV, like good job. Like it was
Speaker 3: never like negative, you know, it was always like hell,
Speaker 3: like proud of you, You're amazing. So yeah, it was.
Speaker 3: It was pretty funny. But I think, listen, I don't
Speaker 3: think he's gonna have much to say unless I really
Speaker 3: got caught up. But I didn't. Like I was in
Speaker 3: a relationship and I got out. That's that's the gist
Speaker 3: of it.
Speaker 5: But there is some interesting like points here that I
Speaker 5: think to make sense of it.
Speaker 1: All.
Speaker 5: The last few months have been horrific no matter what.
Speaker 5: Like the fact you got out of this relationship is
Speaker 5: a good thing, right, well, but like it's not. It
Speaker 5: doesn't make the breakup any less of a breakup. It
Speaker 5: was still a separation.
Speaker 3: It weirdly like the amount of pain for my dad,
Speaker 3: like it was almost like, oh my god, that doesn't
Speaker 3: even matter to me. Like the breakup. I think it
Speaker 3: was just more confusing for me, Like when if you
Speaker 3: went through a breakup and you're like okay and it
Speaker 3: finished on like fine terms, like okay fine. I think
Speaker 3: the hardest part was like confused in your head and
Speaker 3: then you go through this. But at the end of
Speaker 3: the day, I'm very grateful that the breakup happened, and
Speaker 3: then on nfortunately my dad's stuff happened, because if it
Speaker 3: was reversed and I had someone by my side consoling
Speaker 3: me through this and then I found out what was
Speaker 3: truly going on, that would have been like terrible, you know.
Speaker 3: So even though they both suck, like you, I'm just
Speaker 3: trying to look for what to be grateful for in
Speaker 3: each setting. Again, my dad passing, like it sucks and
Speaker 3: it's really sad, but then like I just try to
Speaker 3: think positively, like he lived a great life, He did
Speaker 3: everything he wanted, Like we got those three weeks to
Speaker 3: spend with him in the hospital telling him how important
Speaker 3: he was to us and how much we loved him
Speaker 3: and all that stuff, Like it wasn't just like a
Speaker 3: sudden he's not there anymore. So there's like so many
Speaker 3: little blessings within the horrible circumstances.
Speaker 5: Does that make it easier. Hearder you think which part
Speaker 5: the three weeks leading up?
Speaker 3: Oh so my brother, My brother made a comment, he
Speaker 3: spoke about it, and he was like, man, he was like, honestly,
Speaker 3: like you got to be great full Dad was eighty seven.
Speaker 3: He lived a beautiful life. He was still like walking
Speaker 3: around and even though he was a bit weaker, he
Speaker 3: like still was living a great life until the till
Speaker 3: the end. And he was like he wasn't in a wheelchair,
Speaker 3: he wasn't like strictly on oxygen for years on end,
Speaker 3: like he was still functioning. And he was like the
Speaker 3: difference is I would want to almost like when I
Speaker 3: have to go, He's like almost have a heart attack
Speaker 3: and like go, Like I don't even want those three weeks.
Speaker 3: And I was like, no, I highly disagree. Those three
Speaker 3: weeks were like beautiful to me. So it's like you
Speaker 3: got to spend time with him. You got to take
Speaker 3: care of him, like you got to like tell him,
Speaker 3: like you got to like tell him how important he
Speaker 3: was too.
Speaker 7: So you definitely get more closure that way, like you
Speaker 7: can't like you're not going to look back and be
Speaker 7: like I wish I said this, I.
Speaker 3: Wish I said that yeah, exactly exactly.
Speaker 4: I think it's probably best for everybody feelings.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I think those three weeks were like beautiful.
Speaker 3: We got to like tell him everything we wanted to
Speaker 3: and and it's like this guy has like given us
Speaker 3: like everything, our whole life, like everything, Like he was
Speaker 3: so unselfish and it's like, how do you repay that?
Speaker 4: Not to be a Bachelor interviewer. But did Peter reach out?
Speaker 5: Uh?
Speaker 3: Yeah he did. He did, which was very nice. Yeah,
Speaker 3: he did. I mean he he was down here for
Speaker 3: the time that we were dating. You know, he knew
Speaker 3: my parents and my dad had his pilot's license and
Speaker 3: you know, Peter being a pilot, so they would have
Speaker 3: a conversation to talk about and it was like stupid
Speaker 3: little things. My dad has this old Jaguar, like a
Speaker 3: vintage car, and none of us, none of us kids
Speaker 3: know how to drive it, and Peter like knew how
Speaker 3: to drive stock. So like brand happiness that Peter might
Speaker 3: drive it around because no one else would appreciate it.
Speaker 3: You know, Peter reached out and that was very nice
Speaker 3: of them.
Speaker 5: The it's I didn't think about it that way, that
Speaker 5: this interesting season of life where you know, now you're
Speaker 5: sitting in something that's so much more important. You've talked
Speaker 5: about the the power of social media now in two
Speaker 5: different ways, uh, And I think that actually would be
Speaker 5: a very like unfamiliar experience for most people in the
Speaker 5: spotlight to have social media be used for two beneficial
Speaker 5: practice purposes, one communicating that the guy you're dating sucked,
Speaker 5: and then two coming in support of you and trying
Speaker 5: to share with you any insight that maybe would be
Speaker 5: helpful during this season of healing and processing and you know, loss,
Speaker 5: h Have you always had this kind of experience on
Speaker 5: social media? Is this or is this new?
Speaker 7: No?
Speaker 3: I mean not necessarily with the breakup. I think there
Speaker 3: was just a lot more details to give in this
Speaker 3: scenario that I just didn't know about. And that's maybe
Speaker 3: why it happened with my dad's situation in the social
Speaker 3: media Like it wasn't even the grief thing too, Ben,
Speaker 3: it was when we were in the hospital, the amount
Speaker 3: of people who were having like who had similar experiences
Speaker 3: that were like informing me and teaching me like NonStop,
Speaker 3: like whether it was hey, if he has double pneumonia,
Speaker 3: make sure like you're checking antibiotics. His body could respond
Speaker 3: poorly to this one, but it could like do this
Speaker 3: one better. Like they were just teaching me. And when
Speaker 3: it came to like the respiratory stuff him on oxygen,
Speaker 3: like people were telling me their past experiences and also
Speaker 3: just like helping, Like I was like messaging them back
Speaker 3: and I was like, hey, this is what's going on
Speaker 3: right now, Like what do you think it is? Whether
Speaker 3: his blood pressure dropped too low. We also had a
Speaker 3: family friend that we were calling and doctors and some
Speaker 3: of my girlfriends from Alabama. They were nurses that I
Speaker 3: was speaking to, but they're like, hey, if blood pressure
Speaker 3: is low and like his vitals are fine, like this
Speaker 3: is what could be going on. So I was like
Speaker 3: taking a picture of the vital sending it over to
Speaker 3: people and being like hey, like do you know what
Speaker 3: this means? And people were just like telling me. And
Speaker 3: then we would kind of tell the nurses like do
Speaker 3: you think it's just that and the other And we
Speaker 3: solved like a lot of problems with that. There was
Speaker 3: one point where his body was like two dehydrated and
Speaker 3: they need to get like a v an IV in
Speaker 3: him like asap, and that worked. And there was like
Speaker 3: another time where we thought we were going to lose him.
Speaker 3: They gave him too much of a diuretic, and like
Speaker 3: they're like we like the second doctor that came were
Speaker 3: like asked the nurse, like how much of a diuretic
Speaker 3: did they give him? And you saw his face he
Speaker 3: was like, oh shit. So I think, you know, there's
Speaker 3: there's things that can go wrong on a daily base
Speaker 3: there and it's not necessarily anyone's fault, but it's a
Speaker 3: kind of trial and error. So I was just learning
Speaker 3: like so much through social media with the grief, through
Speaker 3: the hospital experience. Yeah, and I guess the breakup, but
Speaker 3: it's it just made me think. I was like, man, like,
Speaker 3: social media is beyond powerful and I don't know if
Speaker 3: i've like ever. I feel like people have helped me
Speaker 3: in other scenarios too with this. This isn't like a
Speaker 3: one or two and done. I learn a lot from
Speaker 3: a lot of the people that follow me, and again
Speaker 3: I apologize for me not responding to everyone, but I
Speaker 3: was reading every single one of them and being like,
Speaker 3: how does this work? What's going on? But yeah, I
Speaker 3: think I don't know. Maybe I maybe I'm like pretty
Speaker 3: open with some things that are going on in my
Speaker 3: life and kind of ask and people respond, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't know, but yeah, I've like I've had I've
Speaker 3: learned a lot of other things too.
Speaker 2: Also weird transition. I think everything will be like a
Speaker 2: weird transition today. But like this is still on the
Speaker 2: topic of your family. Your sister's part of the Prince
Speaker 2: Harry and Megan Marvel produced series Polo on Netflix, and
Speaker 2: you appear in an episode.
Speaker 4: Did you guys ever interact with Harry and Meghan?
Speaker 3: They were at one So my sister and her husband
Speaker 3: do I don't know, once a year, twice a year,
Speaker 3: a couple of times a year, because they're in that world.
Speaker 3: I mean, I just go up there to do whatever,
Speaker 3: you know. My sister's like come to a game. There
Speaker 3: was one game that we went to that they were there,
Speaker 3: and like, if I wanted to, I could have gone
Speaker 3: and introduced myself with my sister, and but I was like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I just don't want to bombard them, you know, I
Speaker 3: just like, what am I going to say? Hi? So
Speaker 3: so yeah, no, they hosted a dinner, they hosted a
Speaker 3: game which I was at. They were around, but I
Speaker 3: was like, what would I even say?
Speaker 4: What about your sister?
Speaker 5: Does?
Speaker 2: She had more of a relationship or like can tell
Speaker 2: us like if which side is which side of Megan
Speaker 2: do we believe?
Speaker 3: I don't think she knows them well enough like that
Speaker 3: to like actually have an opinion when she's it's more
Speaker 3: of like dinners her husband playing games against them and
Speaker 3: they'll talk, but they're definitely not like close. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: think it's more so. And again, like Harry's not there
Speaker 3: on a day to day, like he's in that world
Speaker 3: and he'll play pullout here and there, but like he's
Speaker 3: not like has his own team playing and all these
Speaker 3: tournaments and all that stuff. Who's like in Wellington NonStop?
Speaker 3: You know, I don't I don't think. I don't know
Speaker 3: if he even has a place in Wellington, which is
Speaker 3: where they play. So I think it's more of pops
Speaker 3: and pops in and out.
Speaker 5: Just to be clear for anybody listening, I believe Kelly
Speaker 5: has a seagull that is chasing after something in the background.
Speaker 5: And so if you can hear a bird, Ashley has
Speaker 5: not gotten birds in her parents' house.
Speaker 6: It is a.
Speaker 5: Seagull saying hello to everybody listening. It looks like a
Speaker 5: beautiful place. By the way, I want to close this
Speaker 5: time with you out kind of going back to the
Speaker 5: question I asked earlier about kind of the legacy of
Speaker 5: your dad, because that never really got answered, and I
Speaker 5: want to make sure that gets answered answered. But I
Speaker 5: want to do at the very end because I don't
Speaker 5: want to obviously, like sandwich all of this up into
Speaker 5: like an emotional like bomb and then just make you,
Speaker 5: you know, have to sit in it. And so there
Speaker 5: are a few points that I want to pull out
Speaker 5: here that I think people are very curious about when
Speaker 5: it comes to the situation that happened a few months ago. Right,
Speaker 5: this made obviously a lot of headline. We covered it here,
Speaker 5: We talked about it here. It was very confusing for
Speaker 5: so many reasons, probably most confusing to you, Kelly. It
Speaker 5: sounds like you found out about your ex living. I
Speaker 5: don't know you put into your words, I'll put in
Speaker 5: the mind and you can correct me or tell me.
Speaker 5: I'm living a different life a second, like a whole
Speaker 5: nother life through social media to go back to that,
Speaker 5: but it sounds like this all kind of came in
Speaker 5: at the same Like from what I'm hearing from you
Speaker 5: is all these like messages started coming in at a
Speaker 5: similar time. And I want to know what sparked that,
Speaker 5: because if this was like a routine for him, if
Speaker 5: this wasn't something new to him, then why all of
Speaker 5: a sudden did multiple people reach out at the same time.
Speaker 3: I don't even know what. So I had a burner
Speaker 3: account messaged me and was like, if you're still again,
Speaker 3: like we weren't. We weren't in. We weren't in like
Speaker 3: a great place over the summer. But we broke up
Speaker 3: and I was like, all right, I need to get
Speaker 3: out of that. I need to get out and he's like, no,
Speaker 3: you know, give me another shot, give me another chance.
Speaker 3: So I just stopped posting him so much on social
Speaker 3: media because I was like, I don't know where this
Speaker 3: is going to go. I don't want to put the pressure,
Speaker 3: like outside pressure on this, Like I want to figure
Speaker 3: it out myself without an outside pressure. But I would
Speaker 3: I wasn't hiding anything. I would still post that I
Speaker 3: was in Philadelphia. I would still post that he would
Speaker 3: be in some of my photos. It's just like I
Speaker 3: just changed the trajectory to not being like this is
Speaker 3: my relationship twenty four to seven. So people would keep
Speaker 3: seeing those photos and then that's when I got someone
Speaker 3: message me to be like if you're still dating him,
Speaker 3: like he's essentially cheating on you, and I was like what,
Speaker 3: And so then I saw I started putting things together
Speaker 3: in my head and I was like what, Like there
Speaker 3: was other sketchy things that were going on that I
Speaker 3: probably was writing off in my head because I genuinely
Speaker 3: thought this person would like never be a cheater and
Speaker 3: like I was fooled, But there was other things going
Speaker 3: on where I remember this influencer she started following him
Speaker 3: this summer and I asked about it. I was like,
Speaker 3: because they had like a previous past. And I asked
Speaker 3: about it because I kept seeing her at events like everywhere.
Speaker 3: And I was never rude, I was never malicious. I
Speaker 3: just really would just like not not like give her
Speaker 3: the time of day, Like I wasn't gonna run up
Speaker 3: to her and say hi, I was just doing my thing.
Speaker 3: And then I said something to him about it, and
Speaker 3: I was like, you know what, I keep seeing this
Speaker 3: girl at all these events we have mutual friends. I
Speaker 3: feel bad that, like we were in a group circle
Speaker 3: and she was like standing out of it and it
Speaker 3: made me feel bad. So I said something along the
Speaker 3: lines of like I'm just gonna start being nice to her,
Speaker 3: and I noticed that tipped and I noticed that something
Speaker 3: was off, being like he was like why, you know
Speaker 3: why why? And it was like the energy was off
Speaker 3: with the way he responded, and I was like, I
Speaker 3: think there's something more going on here. So I went
Speaker 3: to her page and there was like a reel, and
Speaker 3: the reel said something along the lines of like, I
Speaker 3: ran into a guy that I used to have a
Speaker 3: thing with, and I don't think the reason for running
Speaker 3: into him is because we are going to date, but
Speaker 3: I but it just goes to show you that you
Speaker 3: could run into anywhere, anyone, any place, and like, I
Speaker 3: didn't expect to run into him. And I was like,
Speaker 3: why would she make the comment of I don't think
Speaker 3: running into him was the reason why we're going to date.
Speaker 3: If he openly told her we were openly dating, that
Speaker 3: wouldn't even cross her mind. So I knew something was off.
Speaker 3: So I reached out to a mutual friend and I said, Hey,
Speaker 3: are you close with this girl? Will you figure out
Speaker 3: what's going on? She was like that girl's a girl's girl.
Speaker 3: Reach out yourself, She'll tell you everything you want to hear.
Speaker 3: So then when I reached out to her, We got
Speaker 3: on the phone real quick and she's like, what do
Speaker 3: you want to know? And I told her this situation
Speaker 3: and she was like, holy shit, you've been dating him
Speaker 3: like this whole summer. I said yeah, and she was like, well,
Speaker 3: this is what's going on. And she sent me like
Speaker 3: receipts of everything and.
Speaker 2: Like there was something going on between her and him.
Speaker 3: So he would like keep it up in the air
Speaker 3: to be like, you know, I'm single, but I talked
Speaker 3: to Kelly today and I really love her, but who
Speaker 3: knows if we're going to get back together. So he
Speaker 3: was like keeping her on her toes, but he was
Speaker 3: like sending her black cars to come to a party
Speaker 3: and making them. He took her phone and was like,
Speaker 3: let's take a selfie together, very handsy with her and
Speaker 3: all that stuff. But she was the one. She was like,
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna lie. If I allowed it, something would
Speaker 3: have happened. But she was like there would be times
Speaker 3: where he made it like seem like it wasn't one
Speaker 3: hundred percent over and I just didn't want to overstep.
Speaker 3: That was one scenario. Okay, that was just one. So
Speaker 3: then I started researching and I was the one. I
Speaker 3: was like, I don't care how crazy I look. I'll
Speaker 3: reach out to anyone I can. And so I started
Speaker 3: reaching out to girls that like other sketchy things have
Speaker 3: happened with them around, whether it's friends or girls that
Speaker 3: I met, And then that's when it started really coming down.
Speaker 3: And then when I announced it, like it was like
Speaker 3: the flood gates opened. So that's kind of how it worked.
Speaker 3: And then this girl that he had sex with in
Speaker 3: California when I did the podcast, she reached out to
Speaker 3: me and she's like, give me all you want, and
Speaker 3: I said, okay, what happened? And she told me everything
Speaker 3: that he was like using my name to like pick
Speaker 3: them up, to being like this girl and like showing
Speaker 3: in my Instagram. This girl broke my heart. She broke
Speaker 3: my heart.
Speaker 2: No, this is all coming out after you did the
Speaker 2: Chicks in the Office interview, So like you would are
Speaker 2: you were already so screwed over by not screwed over,
Speaker 2: but you know, he was just totally unfaithful seeming going
Speaker 2: into that podcast. Podcast comes out, and then even more
Speaker 2: women come out of the woodwork.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, So she sent me like all the receipts
Speaker 3: and she told me what happened, and yeah, he was
Speaker 3: like using my name to pick them up, and but
Speaker 3: it's it's crazy, Like it's not only that, Like I
Speaker 3: was finding out even more stuff, like I found out
Speaker 3: that he was logged into my like personal Gmail account
Speaker 3: for over a year, and I was like, what the hell,
Speaker 3: Like every uber that I've taken, all my contacts, all
Speaker 3: of my like calendar, everything I would ever just like
Speaker 3: was on his phone, so like just creepy behavior like that.
Speaker 3: And he kind of like outed himself on that because
Speaker 3: I went to go log in and it was like
Speaker 3: a double authentication thing and he was like, by the way,
Speaker 3: like this popped up on my phone. I was like,
Speaker 3: why are you logged into my email? This was like
Speaker 3: when we were breaking up, and he was like, I
Speaker 3: don't know, like you must have logged in. I was like,
Speaker 3: I never logged in on your phone. And then I
Speaker 3: went to go look when that device was logged in
Speaker 3: and it was like October twenty twenty three, So I
Speaker 3: was like, this guy has had access to my personal
Speaker 3: email account for the past year. Like it just like weird,
Speaker 3: weird behavior. And I was finding out even more stuff,
Speaker 3: like I just genuinely had no idea who this person was.
Speaker 3: I found out that a big part of his career
Speaker 3: and success as they owned like strip clubs and he
Speaker 3: was helping manage them. Not once did I ever hear that,
Speaker 3: And it was like years of his life and I
Speaker 3: never knew any of that. Like I was under the
Speaker 3: impression that this guy hated strip clubs. Little did I know,
Speaker 3: like he was working them owning them, like and that's
Speaker 3: like equivalent to me dating someone for a year and
Speaker 3: a half and me never telling them that I'm an
Speaker 3: attorney or went to law school. Like it was like
Speaker 3: a prevalent time in his life and he would just
Speaker 3: like tell me that he didn't like them. So it
Speaker 3: was just like it just goes to show you, like
Speaker 3: I knew nothing, Like I thought this person was this way,
Speaker 3: and then like I just found out like almost every
Speaker 3: content and even when he cheated on me with the
Speaker 3: girl in California, like he told me he was out
Speaker 3: there for a conference with all of his like these
Speaker 3: buddies in this group that he's in. He told me
Speaker 3: he was out there for a conference, So I thought
Speaker 3: he was at these events for a conference. She's like, no,
Speaker 3: I met him at Delilah's. We went to a strip
Speaker 3: club together after, and then I went home with him
Speaker 3: on a day to day Like I didn't know what
Speaker 3: he was up to. It was like lies. I thought
Speaker 3: he was at these party conferences his past history. I
Speaker 3: didn't know anything about it. I thought he was managing restaurants,
Speaker 3: which I think they were also doing. But there was
Speaker 3: a lot of parts, whether it was past present that
Speaker 3: I just I didn't know anything. Like I again, I
Speaker 3: just had people reaching out to me telling me, like
Speaker 3: all of these crazy, crazy stories, and honestly, there's a
Speaker 3: lot that I don't even feel comfortable talking about, but
Speaker 3: it just goes to show you that, like I had
Speaker 3: no clue of who I was with.
Speaker 4: I'm just so surprised girls didn't reach out before.
Speaker 3: So I like asked that, And a lot of girls
Speaker 3: are under the assumptions that, like an influencer won't see it,
Speaker 3: or they were under assumption of you never know, she
Speaker 3: might be on a break with him and they might
Speaker 3: not be together. But a lot of the same thing
Speaker 3: was one, I didn't think you would see it, and
Speaker 3: then two like I didn't know where your relationship stood,
Speaker 3: and we didn't want to get involved and then a
Speaker 3: lot of people were like, we thought he changed. So
Speaker 3: between those it was that was like kind of the
Speaker 3: same answers.
Speaker 5: How did you guys meet through.
Speaker 3: Mutual friends, which I thought you could? Yeah, And with
Speaker 3: that too, I think our mutual friends knew more than
Speaker 3: I did and maybe didn't fully indulge. And then when
Speaker 3: the whole influencer thing happened, I actually called one of
Speaker 3: them and said, you were there, do you know anything?
Speaker 3: And she said no, but yeah, maybe they just don't
Speaker 3: want to get involved. I'm not sure, but I don't
Speaker 3: think I was getting the whole truth on that. That
Speaker 3: like kind of hurt me that I was like, ah, shit,
Speaker 3: like I value some of those people.
Speaker 5: This is the wildest like I mean, I know it's
Speaker 5: the like cliche comparison. It's like not only a TV show,
Speaker 5: but it's like the there's many TV shows I could
Speaker 5: like name right now that would make me think of
Speaker 5: this scenario, and none of them would be good. It's creepy,
Speaker 5: it's weird, it's deceitful, it's unfaithful, it's all these things
Speaker 5: and so and.
Speaker 3: What's even weirder too, is like again I was under
Speaker 3: the impression where you know, he would tell me things
Speaker 3: like me doing social media. It would be things like, oh, well,
Speaker 3: where I want my future to be is I want
Speaker 3: a flip phone. I don't even want to be on
Speaker 3: social media. I don't want it, like any of this stuff.
Speaker 3: And one I was like, well, this is my job
Speaker 3: and I actually really like it, like whether people make
Speaker 3: influencers or all. Like, I genuinely, truly truly enjoy what
Speaker 3: I do. And I'm like always so grateful day to
Speaker 3: day that I'm capable of doing this. But it always
Speaker 3: kind of made me feel like a little shitty that
Speaker 3: that was like completely different, Like he wanted this super
Speaker 3: private life and then I'm doing this and I was like, man,
Speaker 3: like I felt like you knew who I was coming
Speaker 3: into this, Like it's not like it just came to
Speaker 3: me while I was dating you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he also probably wanted a very private life because
Speaker 2: the more you posted about him, the more likely he
Speaker 2: was going to get caught.
Speaker 3: Well what's crazy, Ashley is like, So he would say
Speaker 3: those things, but then when we break up, he went
Speaker 3: and bought like twenty five thirty thousand fake followers. So
Speaker 3: I'm like, do you understand how confusing that is for me?
Speaker 3: Like I have someone telling me like, no, I want
Speaker 3: nothing to do with this life. But then like.
Speaker 4: This is a liar.
Speaker 3: It just like that those things that like truly don't
Speaker 3: add up in your head. That's what like confuses you.
Speaker 3: But in the long run, like even now, especially going
Speaker 3: through my dad's stuff, like I just look back and
Speaker 3: I'm like thank the Lord, Like, can you imagine if
Speaker 3: I actually settled down with this and this became my life,
Speaker 3: like I would have been really bad, Like it would
Speaker 3: have been bad.
Speaker 4: Could you mention if you're with him during that vulnerable
Speaker 4: part of life.
Speaker 5: Was like the consoling and like and so what you're
Speaker 5: saying is the timing actually for his like messies. It
Speaker 5: seems actually it feels like it worked out in your
Speaker 5: favor in terms of like getting out of that.
Speaker 3: I could not imagine. I could not imagine if it
Speaker 3: happened like during or after. Like it again, everything happens
Speaker 3: for a reason. And even though everything was like so
Speaker 3: close together and it was really confusing in a really
Speaker 3: hard time for me, and like still a hard time
Speaker 3: with like my dad's stuff, but yeah, I'm very grateful
Speaker 3: that it happened before.
Speaker 2: Well, Kelly, between that story and just you know, the
Speaker 2: way you carry yourself, and you've always been so graceful
Speaker 2: and poised and so smart, and I you know, I
Speaker 2: don't know if it's something that would interest you, but
Speaker 2: I really do feel like you'd be really hard to
Speaker 2: beat as the Bachelorette for the next season, Like, come on,
Speaker 2: try to find a better candidate than you. I feel
Speaker 2: like everybody would love it. I think that you bring
Speaker 2: a lot of viewership back to the show. So I'm
Speaker 2: putting in my boucher for Kelly.
Speaker 5: So outside of the Bachelorette campaign, which we'll start here
Speaker 5: on the Almost Famous podcast, we'll be totally fine doing that.
Speaker 5: Would you say yes to it if they asked?
Speaker 4: I don't know perfect age thirty two.
Speaker 3: I think I'm a little bit older, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean.
Speaker 4: I don't think that everybody would like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true, but I don't think it's ever really
Speaker 3: been done. Like I'm thirty two. I would need guys
Speaker 3: that are like older. You know, you usually see the
Speaker 3: guys that's like twenty four to twenty five, but like
Speaker 3: my guys would have to be like late thirties, like
Speaker 3: maybe some forties that really.
Speaker 4: Thirty Hell of that we would love to see.
Speaker 3: It and actually, yeah, I don't know. I don't know, Ben,
Speaker 3: I never has never even like gone.
Speaker 5: There, well will now I'm guarantee there's gonna be a
Speaker 5: headline out tomorrow that says something similar to that. So uh,
Speaker 5: outside of the Bachelorette that we're very much in favor of,
Speaker 5: and it makes a lot of sense. And sometimes we
Speaker 5: say that and it's like, yeah, I don't know, I
Speaker 5: actually really like this idea. You, Kelly, We've obviously been
Speaker 5: a part of multiple you know, I love stories of yours, obviously,
Speaker 5: I don't know, Like Ashley said, is it Peter one,
Speaker 5: two or three? I don't I can't track how many
Speaker 5: times it's come back.
Speaker 2: Together making fun of you for that either, No, just
Speaker 2: like you.
Speaker 3: It's it's just like I find it funny. What am
Speaker 3: I doing?
Speaker 5: What with the lessons learned and romantically good and bad?
Speaker 5: Kind of where is your mind at right now when
Speaker 5: it comes to dating? What are you looking for? What
Speaker 5: have you kind of learned that you should be looking for?
Speaker 3: I listen. I usually I never regret any relationship, no
Speaker 3: matter how bad it is, I never regret it because
Speaker 3: there is always a silver lining of me learning something
Speaker 3: throughout all of them, So even like some of the
Speaker 3: hardest ones and all of that, like I won't regret it.
Speaker 3: But I think a lot of things that I've realized
Speaker 3: is I tend to go for I'm kind of a homebody.
Speaker 3: I don't really I don't really drink. It's a rarity
Speaker 3: for me. I'm a homebody. I probably should should get
Speaker 3: out more than I do. I think I'm like so
Speaker 3: reserved that it's like almost not healthy in that manner.
Speaker 3: So I need to like start going out more and
Speaker 3: socializing more. But I tend to date people that are
Speaker 3: like really really big partiers, are always out, extremely social,
Speaker 3: like kid not really sit in much. That's one thing
Speaker 3: I learned is like maybe stop going for someone who's
Speaker 3: put so much value on that. I think that's like
Speaker 3: been my lesson through some of them. Another thing I
Speaker 3: learned is it's gonna sound weird, but like I just
Speaker 3: want someone that I could just like laugh with and
Speaker 3: like has more of an easier going personality, like kind
Speaker 3: of my dad and my brother, my brother Tom, I'm
Speaker 3: like his biggest fan right now, just saying like all
Speaker 3: the stuff that he did for my dad and like
Speaker 3: how like loyal he was, and like how like he's
Speaker 3: just like a good person. He's not like super reactive.
Speaker 3: He's just like always in high spirits. And it's something
Speaker 3: I really value in him, and I valued in my
Speaker 3: dad that I've noticed, like some of my siblings are
Speaker 3: a little bit more harsh and rash and just like
Speaker 3: on a day to day, like I like never fight
Speaker 3: with him, and I just like really value his mindset.
Speaker 3: And I've been in relationships where people maybe were more
Speaker 3: explosive one and I've learned, like I don't do well
Speaker 3: with that personality, and I guess I just like I
Speaker 3: just want to have fun. I just want someone who's
Speaker 3: like not so reactive, because like I really don't do
Speaker 3: well with that, and maybe someone who's not necessarily like
Speaker 3: super social, super social partier, like NonStop, you're going.
Speaker 5: To be the coolest wife ever. Because once I got
Speaker 5: married Ashley and I joke about this, it's either thirties
Speaker 5: or its marriage. There's very few evenings that I'm not
Speaker 5: in bed by eight point fifteen, and I could not
Speaker 5: be happier. Like it is a dream. It just seems
Speaker 5: to happen. Once you find that person, I think you're
Speaker 5: onto something there. I actually think it's a key element
Speaker 5: in a relationship. When you find that human who is
Speaker 5: like so happy just being with you, which typically means
Speaker 5: you're married. It is like the most like amazing experience,
Speaker 5: and I want that for you because it changes things.
Speaker 5: And going out now seems like the most massive feat
Speaker 5: you can Actually it's the biggest.
Speaker 4: Unless it's like going out to dinner. That's the one thing.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, they're going to a party.
Speaker 5: Oh good goodness, going to a bar.
Speaker 4: Oh my god. I tell you, when the last time
Speaker 4: that happened?
Speaker 3: I know, and I don't. I'm just like I feel
Speaker 3: like I'm an old soul, but yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3: But I'm telling you I'm almost unhealthy the other way,
Speaker 3: Like I'm almost like never want to leave, never want
Speaker 3: to do anything. I'm like a little reclue. So I
Speaker 3: think I did that in the past like a year
Speaker 3: and a half, two years or something. But I was like, Okay,
Speaker 3: I need to start pushing myself to get out to
Speaker 3: do things because I'm just like happy by myself and
Speaker 3: doing It's awesome. You guys have no idea how much
Speaker 3: I love plans like I love Yeah.
Speaker 5: You're in it. You're like fully dove in headfirst and
Speaker 5: I love it.
Speaker 3: Thirty like a family we have like a family farm.
Speaker 3: And by the way, I want to give a shout
Speaker 3: out because Kelsey Weir is guys, I don't know if
Speaker 3: you know her well, but truly the greatest human I
Speaker 3: have met on this entire earth. I've never met someone
Speaker 3: so supportive. I've never met someone who is just like
Speaker 3: there for you and like truly just like a great
Speaker 3: human being.
Speaker 4: You guys are roommates for a while.
Speaker 3: She I'm not going to speak on it, but she
Speaker 3: she came back to the US for a little bit,
Speaker 3: and yeah, she came to visit me in Miami and
Speaker 3: she we like spend months with each other whether whatever
Speaker 3: is going on. But yeah, her, she like immediately flew in.
Speaker 3: When we had the few her up in Chicago for
Speaker 3: my dad, she like immediately flew in. My brother is
Speaker 3: married and they're on their third kids. So life has
Speaker 3: just been like hectic for all of us. And Kelsey
Speaker 3: came in. She was like, all right, I'm cooking dinner
Speaker 3: for everyone. I'm doing this like anything that she could
Speaker 3: to get like everyone's mind off of whatever. Like we
Speaker 3: needed to write their obituary. We needed to like plan flowers,
Speaker 3: like there's a lot that you have to do for
Speaker 3: a funeral, and that girl came in just like a powerhouse,
Speaker 3: being like where can I help? What can I do?
Speaker 3: And just like literally I'll be on the phone just
Speaker 3: crying and she'll be like, it's okay, it's okay. I
Speaker 3: think sometimes I know that I just hide my emotions
Speaker 3: sometimes or maybe run away from them, and she was like,
Speaker 3: it's okay, cry it out, like speak about it. Like
Speaker 3: she's just she's very, very supportive and sweet and I
Speaker 3: couldn't ask for like a better friend.
Speaker 5: She's been in. Yeah, and it's nice that it comes
Speaker 5: from the show.
Speaker 3: Is like that's the thing that I'm most grateful for
Speaker 3: or like coming out of that show is her. But
Speaker 3: her and I are like little Grandma's together. We go
Speaker 3: and we guard. I don't think she likes the gardening
Speaker 3: as much as n she's like a truer with it. So, yeah,
Speaker 3: we do some boring things. In her thirties.
Speaker 4: Oh, she's known for her crying, so she definitely understands yours.
Speaker 3: You know what's crazy? Ashley from who Kelsey was shown
Speaker 3: on TV versus Who Kelsey is Maybe now I don't
Speaker 3: know if it was growth within her or if like
Speaker 3: she triggered on the show. She is a com She's
Speaker 3: probably one of the most stable people in certain senses.
Speaker 3: She loves her, she loves her what is it called
Speaker 3: conspiracy things, and she'll go on ransom but truly like
Speaker 3: a stable person. And then if I were to go
Speaker 3: back and watch the show, I'll be like, I don't
Speaker 3: even recognize that girl, Like it is like completely far fetched.
Speaker 3: I don't know if she was triggered on the show
Speaker 3: or if she's learned a lot and she's like, but yeah,
Speaker 3: she's nowhere near Like she's really not a big crier
Speaker 3: like I've since the show. I think she's maybe cried
Speaker 3: to me like two or three times. If that, it's
Speaker 3: just like a whole different person crazy.
Speaker 5: I kind of have that with my co host Ashley
Speaker 5: was known for crying, and she's very stable mom of two,
Speaker 5: like keeps life together. Now you can still get her going.
Speaker 4: Obviously, Yeah, but.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would agree, I'm not like I cry, probably
Speaker 2: a little bit more on your average girl my age,
Speaker 2: but I wouldn't say it's very off.
Speaker 4: From the norm.
Speaker 3: Oh all right, well, we do want to finish.
Speaker 2: With you giving a little bit of a debdication to
Speaker 2: your dad, even though I know that this is very hard.
Speaker 5: Well, yeah, and the reason is because you you started
Speaker 5: the show off. You came on here and you said, Hey,
Speaker 5: I thought I was in a place I wanted the
Speaker 5: opportunity to talk about it is what you said, and
Speaker 5: you thought you were in a place that you could
Speaker 5: do it. You know, I don't know what you expected,
Speaker 5: like without emotion, but I don't know if that's ever
Speaker 5: going to exist. It's a sweet testament. I see it
Speaker 5: as like the most pure, sweetest testament. So I did
Speaker 5: we do want to give you the opportunity as we
Speaker 5: close out here to kind of send us off with
Speaker 5: a message of what you wanted to say, like why
Speaker 5: did why did you want the opportunity to speak about
Speaker 5: this moment?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I think I just want to speak about this
Speaker 3: is because one again, like I didn't know this kind
Speaker 3: of pain existed, and going through this experience, I have
Speaker 3: learned that it is probably one of the most painful
Speaker 3: experiences anyone will ever experience. And I personally want to
Speaker 3: say that like I feel and I now understand like
Speaker 3: people that have experiences I now could like understand what
Speaker 3: they've gone through, and before that, I had no clue, Like,
Speaker 3: no clue. You always here like someone's parent passing and
Speaker 3: you're like, man, I feel bad for them, but like
Speaker 3: until you experience it yourself, I genuinely don't think people
Speaker 3: understand the pain. And again I've been learning, and I
Speaker 3: think the most important thing is again, it'll never go away,
Speaker 3: but you do get stronger, and just like, be easy
Speaker 3: on yourself. Don't sit here and think like I need
Speaker 3: to get over this. I need to get over this
Speaker 3: I have right now. I thought I was strong enough
Speaker 3: to do this, but I can't keep it together. But
Speaker 3: sometimes I try to push those emotions off and it's
Speaker 3: like no, no, no, it's healthy to feel them, feel them,
Speaker 3: and it's okay. And it almost goes to show you
Speaker 3: how much I appreciated this man, because like he's done
Speaker 3: everything for us. But I feel for anyone going through this,
Speaker 3: and I'm thankful that a lot of people have helped
Speaker 3: me through this, some people I don't even know, just
Speaker 3: social media connections and teaching me about grief and teaching
Speaker 3: me like how its what the trajectory of this looks like.
Speaker 3: You can't just sit there and say like oh, I'm
Speaker 3: gonna move on from this like a relationship and have
Speaker 3: closure there, like like you want him here, like you
Speaker 3: didn't want him to pass, Like you don't ever sit
Speaker 3: there and think like negative things towards him, if anything,
Speaker 3: You're like, I love you, like I don't want you
Speaker 3: to go, but I guess you just like learn how
Speaker 3: to live with it.
Speaker 2: I just can't imagine being like that getting over that
Speaker 2: thought of like I can't FaceTime him, like I can't
Speaker 2: just tell him this or that, and it's like he's
Speaker 2: never gonna.
Speaker 4: Sit in that chair in the failure room with us
Speaker 4: and stuff like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's actually crazy because you a lot of
Speaker 3: people who like reach out and have like a lot
Speaker 3: to say are people who have experienced this. For example,
Speaker 3: like Hannah Ann her husband's father just passed away, so
Speaker 3: super super supportive, like super supportive, sending flowers, like sending
Speaker 3: me these messages. Again, Kelsey is like my Diehart hero
Speaker 3: that I owe her the world. But you have other
Speaker 3: people that have experienced this, and like when things like
Speaker 3: this happen, you like they come in strong and you
Speaker 3: never you never suspect some of them. But it's just
Speaker 3: crazy how a lot of people that like showed up
Speaker 3: to my dad's wake, even a lot of them were
Speaker 3: people who have lost a parent, and like understand the pain. Again,
Speaker 3: Like before this, I was naive to it. I had
Speaker 3: no idea what it felt like. And you hear someone
Speaker 3: losing a parent, You're like, oh, I feel bad for them,
Speaker 3: and but you really really don't understand it until you
Speaker 3: experience it. And then I think, just like, lean on
Speaker 3: your family, lean on your friends to get over to
Speaker 3: get over some of the grief and to learn how
Speaker 3: to deal with it. My family has like a very
Speaker 3: sarcastic way of you know, saying his jokes or all
Speaker 3: of this stuff. But we just like keep living through
Speaker 3: him with a lot of the things that he does,
Speaker 3: and even things that he would get like upset about
Speaker 3: will be like running around and we'll say and it'll
Speaker 3: make us laugh instead of getting like really really sad
Speaker 3: and the dumps about it. We just keep trying to
Speaker 3: keep it like super super lighthearted and it helps a
Speaker 3: little bit. And I think the one thing too, that
Speaker 3: I learned from this experience is like something that really
Speaker 3: helps is people that knew him and people that message
Speaker 3: you like stories about the experiences that they had about
Speaker 3: him or with him, those like take a little bit
Speaker 3: of the pain away because you're like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: like other people saw it too, or like it brings
Speaker 3: you back to like a memory that other people have
Speaker 3: experienced with him, and it's like it brings like a
Speaker 3: smile to your face. That I have learned. And then
Speaker 3: another thing I've learned is when this happens, like you,
Speaker 3: none of us wanted to leave the couch. We didn't
Speaker 3: want to leave the couch. I could like barely eat.
Speaker 3: I could like didn't want to get up and like
Speaker 3: make myself food, and some of our neighbors like brought
Speaker 3: over like homemade lasagna are like food. And one of
Speaker 3: the things that I've learned is like if one of
Speaker 3: my friends has to unfortunately deal with this, which everyone will,
Speaker 3: but like at an age like mine, it it just
Speaker 3: kind of sucks even more. But food, Sending food is
Speaker 3: like one of the best things you could do in
Speaker 3: this scenario, because like the last thing people want to
Speaker 3: do is like get up and start like making food.
Speaker 3: So sending food to us was just like huge. I
Speaker 3: was like, all right, I'm popping into lasagna in and
Speaker 3: like we're good to go, and I would like take
Speaker 3: some bites, but you just learn certain things. And I
Speaker 3: think what those two things is, you know, do give
Speaker 3: Sending them food really helps. But then also people who
Speaker 3: are sending like a memory that they had with him
Speaker 3: is like takes a little bit off.
Speaker 5: Kelly, you said something that will stick with me, hopefully forever.
Speaker 5: My memory isn't always great, but it hopefully will. You
Speaker 5: said that in moments of this type of pain, the
Speaker 5: grief may never leave you, but you're just going to
Speaker 5: grow stronger. Kelly. I think you are in the midst
Speaker 5: of that, and I think you're a testament to that,
Speaker 5: and I believe it to be true because I'm seeing
Speaker 5: it in you. Thank you for coming on here, thank
Speaker 5: you for having this conversation. Thank you for speaking into
Speaker 5: the people out there listening who have probably gone through
Speaker 5: something similar and as you said, it's a part of life.
Speaker 5: We all will at some point. And thank you for
Speaker 5: giving us some words of love and wisdom. And again,
Speaker 5: there aren't a lot of words in this moment too,
Speaker 5: there's no words to make you know any of this better,
Speaker 5: but we are thinking about you. You and the family.
Speaker 5: Please pass that on, and we appreciate you coming on
Speaker 5: keep doing you. You've been through a lot, and I
Speaker 5: guess I just want to tell you, probably like Kelsey
Speaker 5: told you, it's okay to feel it, because goodness gracious
Speaker 5: you have you've been through it in the last few months.
Speaker 5: So thanks for sharing your story.
Speaker 3: All right, guys, thanks for having me.
Speaker 4: Oh, thanks for being here and for sharing.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Sending you so much love, Bye bye, guys.
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