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Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast

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Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio.

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Speaker 2: Hey guys, we welcome to the Almost Famous Podcast. Today's

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Speaker 2: guest Day Love guest Day. Today it is Kelly flanagain.

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Speaker 2: You know that, you guys know her from Peter Weber's

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Speaker 2: season from back in twenty twenty and she was eliminated

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Speaker 2: in week seven, but then she dated Peter once or twice,

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Speaker 2: maybe three times.

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Speaker 3: We'll ask about it. Kelly, welcome to.

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Speaker 2: The show, and we just wanted to extend our sincere

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Speaker 2: condolences by the passing of your dad less than a

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Speaker 2: month ago.

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Speaker 4: We're so so sorry. I just can't imagine what you're

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Speaker 4: going through.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you guys. Good to be on here. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's been my life has been in shambles the past

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Speaker 3: couple of months. So hopefully we get into that, but

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Speaker 3: it's it's definitely been a lot.

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Speaker 1: What do you.

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Speaker 5: Okay? I think with interviews with people like you, and

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Speaker 5: it's interesting. I remember I think it wasn't your last

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Speaker 5: time on the show, but your very first time on

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Speaker 5: the show was during COVID. I remember exactly where a sitting,

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Speaker 5: I remember a lot of what we talked about and

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Speaker 5: now when we interview people like you who have you know,

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Speaker 5: a few years removed from the show, obviously been through

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Speaker 5: a lot which will dive into I think one of

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Speaker 5: the most helpful things for listeners is like try to

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Speaker 5: give a relatability and a perspective, because you're probably going

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Speaker 5: through a lot of stuff that people are going through

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Speaker 5: listening to it, maybe not all at the same time,

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Speaker 5: but like people are going to be able to relate.

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Speaker 5: So when you say shambles, what do you mean by that?

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Speaker 5: Because this has been a this is like a the

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Speaker 5: last month for you, I cannot imagine and I don't

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Speaker 5: have words to like try to like console, but like

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Speaker 5: I just can't imagine, And so can you explain shambles

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Speaker 5: a little bit?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and don't be afraid to cry like I've been.

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Speaker 4: I'd probably cry too same.

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Speaker 3: I've literally I've been trying to figure out like when

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Speaker 3: I could actually come out and speak about it, because

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Speaker 3: I who I thought I was like cool and I

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Speaker 3: was going to be like all right, No, it's like the.

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Speaker 2: Second anybody like you're like, okay, I can hatele those

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Speaker 2: and then like words starts trying to come out of

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Speaker 2: your mouth and I can't do it either.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, no, it's stuff. So I one, I I'll start

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Speaker 3: with this because this doesn't make me cry. I went

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Speaker 3: through a really really bad breakup and I was kind

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Speaker 3: of in a position where I was like I looked

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Speaker 3: back and the information that I was finding out a

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Speaker 3: lot through social media. I have never had this amount

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Speaker 3: of people reach out to me to tell me like

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Speaker 3: who I was dating and like what was going on

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Speaker 3: behind my backs or who they were truly. And I

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Speaker 3: think that's just like a really really confusing state because

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Speaker 3: I was with this person for almost like a year

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Speaker 3: and a half and I was just like I in

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Speaker 3: my own head gathered like, oh, this is who that

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Speaker 3: person is. And then after the fact, when I started

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Speaker 3: figuring out like the cheating and all of that stuff,

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Speaker 3: like what he was doing behind my back, that's like

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Speaker 3: minuscule to what I found out. Who I found out

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Speaker 3: like like what was going on and who he truly

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Speaker 3: was was a situation where it's probably the most confusing

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Speaker 3: state of mind you'll ever be in because you've convinced

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Speaker 3: yourself of like I know this person, I've been with

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Speaker 3: this person, I was living with this person, and to

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Speaker 3: find out like all of it or not all of it,

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Speaker 3: but a lot of it was like not true and

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Speaker 3: a lie. It definitely messes with your head. And I'll

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Speaker 3: sit here and say with that, it's more of like

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Speaker 3: it's a hard breakup at first because the confusion and

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Speaker 3: like you're in your head and you're like what just happened?

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Speaker 3: But then in the long run, you look back and

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Speaker 3: you're like, who thank God, Like that wasn't my life.

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Speaker 3: Thank God I got out of that situation. So that

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Speaker 3: was really hard for me. And if you guys want

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Speaker 3: me to go more into that, I can. But then

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Speaker 3: the second thing that happened is like right when that

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Speaker 3: was going on as well, my father got sick and

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Speaker 3: I was just like, WHOA, what's going on? What's going on?

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Speaker 3: And I always knew my dad was a bit older,

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Speaker 3: but like we were just here with him for Thanksgiving,

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Speaker 3: and like I remember he kept saying like I'm super cold,

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Speaker 3: I'm super cold. We're out to dinner. But he was

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Speaker 3: like in high spirits and like everything was good. And

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Speaker 3: then we got a call that like he was in

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Speaker 3: the hospital and we're like whoa, Like what's going on?

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Speaker 3: So I immediately I was unfortunately in Chicago for a funeral,

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Speaker 3: and so I had to like immediately fly down. And

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Speaker 3: for the next three weeks we were in the hospital

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Speaker 3: with him, and he had double pneumonia and the rhinovirus

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Speaker 3: I think, so it was just like a huge hit

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Speaker 3: on him. And then we just kind of kept thinking,

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Speaker 3: We're like, is there a recovery to this? Is there

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Speaker 3: a full recover to this? Like like what's going to happen?

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Speaker 3: And in those three weeks were they were hard, but

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Speaker 3: also I'm like really really grateful for them. Oh god, God,

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Speaker 3: I thought I was gonna be able to hold it together.

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Speaker 3: But I was grateful for those three weeks because like

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Speaker 3: we got to like spend like precious time with him

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Speaker 3: and like, oh my god, I can't.

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Speaker 4: Oh it's okay.

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Speaker 3: We were able to like tell him how much we

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Speaker 3: appreciated him and how great he was, and like just

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Speaker 3: how much we like valued him as like a father

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Speaker 3: and also like a person. And then every day was

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Speaker 3: like hard because he was in such a fragile state

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Speaker 3: in that hospital and like us kids were like taking

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Speaker 3: shifts and the smallest thing, like the smallest thing could

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Speaker 3: have made him pass. So we were like on top

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Speaker 3: of it, like you have five out of the six

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Speaker 3: kids or attorneys. So you have like a bunch of

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Speaker 3: attorneys in a room, but we don't know anything medical,

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Speaker 3: and we're just like trying to figure it out. Like

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Speaker 3: we learned about vitals, we learned about like medications and

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Speaker 3: like them interacting like his daily medication. Some of them

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Speaker 3: were interacting with the medication that he needed in the hospital.

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Speaker 3: And so we're like sitting there calling people nurses, doctors,

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Speaker 3: family friends. Like it's so crazy because I can't even

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Speaker 3: tell you how many people on social media, Like when

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Speaker 3: I was doing my post reached out to me and

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Speaker 3: they're like watch for this, watch for that, like helping me,

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Speaker 3: and I was like, whoa, this is crazy. Like social

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Speaker 3: media is a very very powerful place, and a lot

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Speaker 3: of other people like experienced the same thing that he

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Speaker 3: was going through. Like I remember one message was they're

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Speaker 3: like listen and my grandpa, I think it was, is

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Speaker 3: like ninety years old, had double pneumonia, was able to

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Speaker 3: come back from it. And we're like, damn, okay, so

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Speaker 3: it gives you hope, But yeah, it was. It was

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Speaker 3: a tough three weeks of us like being with him,

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Speaker 3: and I'm not gonna lie, it's like exhausting because you're

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Speaker 3: in fight or flight, Like if something happens, you're like,

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Speaker 3: oh my god, am I responsible? What do I do?

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Speaker 3: But I really appreciate like those three weeks like spending

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Speaker 3: with him.

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Speaker 5: You mentioned the rhinovirus. What is that?

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Speaker 3: No, I think it's like a new thing. Okay, whether

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Speaker 3: it's the flu, whether it's similar to COVID. I think

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Speaker 3: it's something along those lines, but I think it's a

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Speaker 3: little bit newer.

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Speaker 5: I'll say this, I'm in a weird emotional state myself

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Speaker 5: right now, where like two weeks away from having a

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Speaker 5: little girl. So it's I'm like on the edge of

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Speaker 5: breaking most moments. I'm sitting here and I'm watching you

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Speaker 5: and like, it's not fun obviously to come on an

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Speaker 5: interview and cry like you're apologizing. You shouldn't apologize at all.

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Speaker 5: That's kind of why we do it. And I'm also

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Speaker 5: thinking what better testimony, Well to have a daughter like you,

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Speaker 5: but then to know that your daughter is so emotional

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Speaker 5: over your like passing, Like what better way to like

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Speaker 5: remember him? Yeah, and what better way to like, you know,

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Speaker 5: if you just came on here, you're like, yeah, that

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Speaker 5: was really tough. That sucked. You want to talk about

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Speaker 5: a breakup, like it's I just want to tell you,

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Speaker 5: like this is this is an incredible like testament to

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Speaker 5: him as a father and as a person, that this

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Speaker 5: is what your reaction is.

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Speaker 3: Then I truly like have never met anyone like him.

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Speaker 3: And I know a lot of people say that and

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Speaker 3: they're like my father was the best, this, that and

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Speaker 3: the other. But like that man, like what he like

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Speaker 3: gave us provided for us, like he would like literally

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Speaker 3: never see know to us. Like one of the things

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Speaker 3: he said to us, he was like, listen, I want

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Speaker 3: to give you guys an education and if you guys

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Speaker 3: want to go through that, like that's the one thing

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Speaker 3: I could give you that no one can take away.

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Speaker 3: Like he was just he just had like a genius mindset.

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Speaker 3: Like he was a smart guy, but not only a

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Speaker 3: smart guy, Like he didn't have an ego behind him.

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Speaker 3: Like he was always so kind to literally anyone, like

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Speaker 3: so generous, like generous in ways that like people don't

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Speaker 3: even think of. But the law firm that he created,

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Speaker 3: like those people were his family. Like people go to

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Speaker 3: work and people are like they they don't assume that

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Speaker 3: your boss is going to be like overly nice to

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Speaker 3: you or like treat you as if like your family,

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Speaker 3: Like my dad like that office, his family, all that stuff.

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Speaker 3: And what's crazier too, is he came from like a

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Speaker 3: broken family. Like this man didn't really know the definission

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Speaker 3: of family. Like he had a mom and a dad.

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Speaker 3: His dad had him in later years. His mom was

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Speaker 3: a bit younger, but she like abandoned him and his brother,

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Speaker 3: and he was like kind of on his own, was

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Speaker 3: being raised by his grandma for a little bit. He

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Speaker 3: always like glorified his dad, but like his dad wasn't

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Speaker 3: necessarily hands on. So my dad came from this broken family,

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Speaker 3: never thought he was going to have a family, Like

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Speaker 3: he was like I just don't think it's in my cards.

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Speaker 3: And he got married at forty eight, Like he got

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Speaker 3: married a lot later and my mom was thirty six,

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Speaker 3: so like they were an older couple. And then they

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Speaker 3: decide to have six kids in seven years.

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Speaker 2: I saw you post that on Instagram. I thought that

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Speaker 2: was really really special, right he started seting then he

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Speaker 2: was just like no, let's just keep it going.

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Speaker 3: And he just for my mom she really wanted, but

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Speaker 3: he was like down for it. He's like all right whatever,

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Speaker 3: like he was he wasn't like this very powerful guy

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Speaker 3: that had an ego behind him and was like you

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Speaker 3: do this, you do that. Like he was a really

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Speaker 3: powerful guy and like had a lot of success, but

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Speaker 3: like he like was never phased by anything. Like he

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Speaker 3: was like, all right, if you want to do that,

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Speaker 3: go ahead, like sure money, Like what do you want?

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Speaker 3: Like you just see a lot of people in power

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Speaker 3: these days have like this ego behind them where they're

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Speaker 3: like you listen to me, and these are the rules

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Speaker 3: and that and the other. And he just like let

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Speaker 3: my mom be who she was, do what she wants.

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Speaker 3: And my mom's like a little bit nutty. We love her,

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Speaker 3: but she's a little bit nutty. And he was just

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Speaker 3: like always rolling his eyes like, oh oh god, Connie,

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Speaker 3: like you're you're a special one, you know. So yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's just like looking back on the situation, like I

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Speaker 3: can't say, like how grateful I am.

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Speaker 2: You also have a testament of like how much you

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Speaker 2: all looked up to him because five of the six

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Speaker 2: of you became lawyers with him, as you know, your aspiration.

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Speaker 3: But he never like put pressure on us to be

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Speaker 3: like you guys have to be lawyers, Like it was

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Speaker 3: all our choices, which is really cool. Like he never

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Speaker 3: pressured us to do anything, Like even when I went

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Speaker 3: on The Bachelor, he was like, yeah, do what you want.

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Speaker 3: Like I don't understand it, but do what you want.

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Speaker 3: Talking about being an influencer, like he thought it was

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Speaker 3: the coolest thing in the world. He was like, I

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Speaker 3: don't get it, but he was like I think Kelly

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Speaker 3: like holds up a person, people like like the person,

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Speaker 3: then they buy it. Like he was so proud, like

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Speaker 3: telling all of his friends, and he was always like,

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Speaker 3: so many people look at this stuff, like I can't believe,

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Speaker 3: like the people that follow her, and like the amount

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Speaker 3: of numbers, Like he was always so intrigued, but like

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Speaker 3: was always so supportive and it was really cool.

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Speaker 4: That's so sweet.

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Speaker 2: He passed away on Christmas Day, Yeah, and you said

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Speaker 2: that he was just holding out for that because that

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Speaker 2: was his very holiday.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. So growing up, like again, he had like a

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Speaker 3: broken family and he would say things like some Christmases

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Speaker 3: like he didn't have anywhere to go. Man, I thought

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Speaker 3: it was going to be able to keep it together,

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Speaker 3: but he sometimes like didn't have anywhere to go for Christmas,

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Speaker 3: And so it kind of became a thing for him

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Speaker 3: when we were growing up, Like he would like panic,

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, he would like panic, and he just

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Speaker 3: wanted to make sure we all had like a good

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Speaker 3: Christmas growing up, and like he would do outrageous things,

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Speaker 3: like outrageous like he would get we had like a

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Speaker 3: living room in Chicago that had like a really tall ceiling.

256
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Speaker 3: He would get like trees from Wisconsin on these like

257
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Speaker 3: massive trucks like ship down to our house. That's so cool. Yeah,

258
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Speaker 3: to make sure like all of us had a great

259
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Speaker 3: Christmas because like because like he never did growing up,

260
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Speaker 3: but yeah, so like Christmas became just like huge to

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Speaker 3: him and he always like appreciated it and like wanted

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Speaker 3: to go so far out of his way to make

263
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Speaker 3: sure like everyone was happy and had a great Christmas

264
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Speaker 3: and like had a bunch of presents and like it

265
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Speaker 3: was just like our house was lit up like crazy,

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Speaker 3: like we always had Christmas lights everywhere. So I think

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Speaker 3: he just wanted to like give that to us. And

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Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I think he like knew so he

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Speaker 3: was we brought him home. One thing he wanted was

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Speaker 3: for him to be home, and he was like, I

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Speaker 3: don't want to be in this hospital anymore. And there

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Speaker 3: would be days where he'd be like doing super well,

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Speaker 3: so we were able to communicate with him, and a

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Speaker 3: lot of days he was like full fledged sleeping, but

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Speaker 3: sometimes it would be like hold your hand, like squeezer hand,

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Speaker 3: or like do this if like you want this, that

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Speaker 3: and the other. So he there was one day where

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Speaker 3: he just had like a lot of energy in him

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Speaker 3: and he's like, get me out at this place. I

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Speaker 3: don't want to be here. I don't want to be here.

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Speaker 3: I want to go home. I don't I want to

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Speaker 3: go home, and so we're like, all right, his goal

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Speaker 3: is he wants to be home. The only problem was

284
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Speaker 3: he was like in a really fragile state that we

285
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Speaker 3: didn't know if he could make it on the car

286
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Speaker 3: ride home because he was like he was on all

287
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Speaker 3: this oxygen and there was like little things that kept happening,

288
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Speaker 3: whether it was like his blood pressure dropping or his

289
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Speaker 3: respiratory was too high and we had to switch masks

290
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Speaker 3: and do all this oxygen stuff. So we're like, oh, man,

291
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Speaker 3: like are we going to be able to get him there?

292
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Speaker 3: And we got him here and the ride was fine,

293
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Speaker 3: even though a bunch of doctors were like telling us

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Speaker 3: otherwise we got him here, and he was here for

295
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Speaker 3: like a couple of days, and then when we told

296
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Speaker 3: him like Merry Christmas, like you made it to Christmas, like,

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Speaker 3: his vitals just started going.

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Speaker 5: We've talked about the like the importance of making it

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Speaker 5: to Christmas for him and the legacy that he has

300
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Speaker 5: left with you and the memories that he's left with you.

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Speaker 5: I guess because I don't have a lot of words

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Speaker 5: right now, Kelly, I think to kind of do a

303
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Speaker 5: very odd transition into a breakup. But before we do that,

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Speaker 5: I do want to ask you, with all that we've

305
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Speaker 5: just said, what, like what will this memory be now?

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Speaker 5: I mean, obviously Christmas Day was an important day to him,

307
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Speaker 5: It's going to be an important day to you for

308
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Speaker 5: many reasons now to remember, to celebrate, you know, to

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Speaker 5: pass that on. But as we now, you know heal

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Speaker 5: the best we can and move forward, like what will

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Speaker 5: the memory of your dad be that you want people

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Speaker 5: to remember?

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Speaker 3: I think I'm going to talk about something a little

314
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Speaker 3: bit different, just because I need to like keep it together,

315
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Speaker 3: and then we'll go to that. One thing I do

316
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:21,840
Speaker 3: want to say is this was like a learning experience

317
00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:24,320
Speaker 3: for me that I've never dealt with and I know

318
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Speaker 3: a lot of people go through this. It's a way

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Speaker 3: of life. I personally just never knew like this kind

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Speaker 3: of pain existed. And again, like I just personally want

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Speaker 3: to thank every single person that reached out to me

322
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Speaker 3: through social media because I said, like I don't know

323
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Speaker 3: what this means, but like the amount of people that

324
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Speaker 3: like have experienced grief and was like messaging me and

325
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Speaker 3: like telling me all this stuff, Like then I never

326
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Speaker 3: like wish it upon anyone, and I know, again it's

327
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:02,080
Speaker 3: a way of life, Like it's a really confusing state,

328
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:07,600
Speaker 3: and like so many people who are messaging me, and

329
00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:11,320
Speaker 3: to be honest, like I was reading like all of it,

330
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Speaker 3: but I couldn't even respond to people because every time

331
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Speaker 3: I would just break down, like when I would go

332
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Speaker 3: to respond, but I was looking at all of it,

333
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Speaker 3: and it's just so crazy to me that like so

334
00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:22,480
Speaker 3: many people, especially at my age, I have even dealt

335
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:25,240
Speaker 3: with something like this. And again, like I'm not naive.

336
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,359
Speaker 3: I know it's a way of life, but it's so

337
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:31,400
Speaker 3: hard because you have this person that like you love

338
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:33,639
Speaker 3: and you're like okay, now, like how do I cope

339
00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:37,840
Speaker 3: with it? Like what do you do, and like people

340
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,800
Speaker 3: would say, like you just always have this type of

341
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:43,240
Speaker 3: grief like in you like this sadness, but like you

342
00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:47,480
Speaker 3: get stronger, so it like never goes away. And I

343
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:51,840
Speaker 3: think what's different And like a breakup is like you're like, Okay,

344
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:55,400
Speaker 3: I got out of that situation. You get some closure

345
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:58,240
Speaker 3: in some sense, and then you're like then you move

346
00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:00,000
Speaker 3: on and you move on to like a next person

347
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:03,120
Speaker 3: and you're like, okay, this is fine, Like you start

348
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,159
Speaker 3: being grateful and you're like that person wasn't for me

349
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,000
Speaker 3: and all of this stuff. With this, it's just like

350
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:13,120
Speaker 3: a different kind of pain where you're like I love

351
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:16,320
Speaker 3: that person, I didn't want them to go. You can't

352
00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:19,679
Speaker 3: necessarily like have closure to be like, well that person

353
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:21,520
Speaker 3: wasn't good to me or this person you know that

354
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:25,520
Speaker 3: person did this. Like with breakups, it's so different and

355
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:29,159
Speaker 3: the pain is so different because you're just like you

356
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:32,199
Speaker 3: get closure on that, but with this you don't. And

357
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:34,000
Speaker 3: you can't sit there and be like, well my dad

358
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:37,119
Speaker 3: was like not a good person and I'm so glad

359
00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:40,680
Speaker 3: that like this happened. Like it is, it's wild. It's

360
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:44,119
Speaker 3: wild to deal with. But again, like social media is

361
00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:46,320
Speaker 3: a powerful place, and like people have been messaging me,

362
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,480
Speaker 3: like reaching out, like telling me how they dealt with

363
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:53,639
Speaker 3: it and all this stuff, and yeah, it's it's weird,

364
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:55,919
Speaker 3: but there are the first couple of days I was

365
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:59,080
Speaker 3: like a mess, like an absolute mess actually the first

366
00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:02,920
Speaker 3: like week or two. But then you just like day

367
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:07,040
Speaker 3: by day get like stronger, and that's something that I learned,

368
00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:08,720
Speaker 3: like it never goes away. And just.

369
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:14,240
Speaker 4: Thank you for sharing that, because yeah, I probably can't even.

370
00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:17,720
Speaker 2: Talk right now either, but but like it's always been

371
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:19,680
Speaker 2: my biggest fear to lose one of my parents.

372
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Speaker 6: And then you know, you get married and then like

373
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:25,440
Speaker 6: your biggest spirits love at your spouse, then you have kids,

374
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Speaker 6: and then like your real biggest spirits was your kids.

375
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Speaker 3: But like.

376
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Speaker 6: I I've never experienced any of it. It's like the

377
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:35,439
Speaker 6: scariest thing ever. And I feel so much for what

378
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:36,320
Speaker 6: you're going through.

379
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:42,040
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, but like I can't be Ashley at the

380
00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:45,000
Speaker 3: end of the day, Like I can't be so sad

381
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:48,359
Speaker 3: over it, because like we look back and we do

382
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,720
Speaker 3: have to be grateful. Like my dad was eighty seven

383
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,919
Speaker 3: years old, like he was at an older age. He

384
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:58,119
Speaker 3: has experienced so much in his life, like everything and

385
00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:00,879
Speaker 3: it's like he experienced everything. He had so many kids,

386
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:03,280
Speaker 3: we all loved him, and then like he got to

387
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:07,080
Speaker 3: even be with some of his grandkids. He just had

388
00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:09,560
Speaker 3: like a beautiful, beautiful life. So it's like he wasn't

389
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:13,159
Speaker 3: cut short of anything, and you have to like remind

390
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:17,840
Speaker 3: yourself of that to be like, he lived a beautiful,

391
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:21,400
Speaker 3: beautiful life. So yeah, it's like it's hard.

392
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:37,080
Speaker 5: There's an interesting statement you made there where the grief

393
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:40,440
Speaker 5: will always be inside of you, but you'll grow stronger

394
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:44,240
Speaker 5: because I think we could, we should would We would

395
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:47,120
Speaker 5: sit here with you and talk about this moment and

396
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:49,560
Speaker 5: your dad and who he was to you and your

397
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:54,439
Speaker 5: family for hours, and it wouldn't do it justice. We

398
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:56,120
Speaker 5: will make the very weird transition.

399
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,240
Speaker 3: I have a good transition point.

400
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:04,560
Speaker 2: Well, okay, okay, what did your dad think about your ex.

401
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:07,080
Speaker 5: Who wronged you?

402
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,880
Speaker 3: So, to be honest, my dad was never like a

403
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:14,200
Speaker 3: judgy person, Like that's more you know, my mom will

404
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:17,240
Speaker 3: have more of an outward voice on things, but my

405
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:20,760
Speaker 3: dad was like are you okay? Like he was never

406
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:22,600
Speaker 3: he never he like never talked shit.

407
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:26,280
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's like my dad, my dad, Can you just

408
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:29,240
Speaker 7: call someone out and they suck no.

409
00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:31,400
Speaker 3: He was like, no, they're great, They're great like that.

410
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:37,720
Speaker 3: So it was you know, I think actually my mom

411
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:39,560
Speaker 3: was like, can you put your podcast up here on

412
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 3: the TV and out of like all of it, like

413
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:44,800
Speaker 3: my parents watching it. I think some of my siblings

414
00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:47,959
Speaker 3: were here too. He said, he was like, hell, you

415
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:51,919
Speaker 3: look great on TV, like good job. Like it was

416
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:54,200
Speaker 3: never like negative, you know, it was always like hell,

417
00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:58,480
Speaker 3: like proud of you, You're amazing. So yeah, it was.

418
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:03,640
Speaker 3: It was pretty funny. But I think, listen, I don't

419
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,560
Speaker 3: think he's gonna have much to say unless I really

420
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 3: got caught up. But I didn't. Like I was in

421
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:11,640
Speaker 3: a relationship and I got out. That's that's the gist

422
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:11,879
Speaker 3: of it.

423
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:14,879
Speaker 5: But there is some interesting like points here that I

424
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:17,119
Speaker 5: think to make sense of it.

425
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 1: All.

426
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,679
Speaker 5: The last few months have been horrific no matter what.

427
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 5: Like the fact you got out of this relationship is

428
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:27,800
Speaker 5: a good thing, right, well, but like it's not. It

429
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:32,639
Speaker 5: doesn't make the breakup any less of a breakup. It

430
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:33,600
Speaker 5: was still a separation.

431
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,520
Speaker 3: It weirdly like the amount of pain for my dad,

432
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:39,520
Speaker 3: like it was almost like, oh my god, that doesn't

433
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:42,119
Speaker 3: even matter to me. Like the breakup. I think it

434
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:45,399
Speaker 3: was just more confusing for me, Like when if you

435
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:47,520
Speaker 3: went through a breakup and you're like okay and it

436
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:51,560
Speaker 3: finished on like fine terms, like okay fine. I think

437
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 3: the hardest part was like confused in your head and

438
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:55,720
Speaker 3: then you go through this. But at the end of

439
00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:58,479
Speaker 3: the day, I'm very grateful that the breakup happened, and

440
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:02,000
Speaker 3: then on nfortunately my dad's stuff happened, because if it

441
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:05,200
Speaker 3: was reversed and I had someone by my side consoling

442
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:07,080
Speaker 3: me through this and then I found out what was

443
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:10,600
Speaker 3: truly going on, that would have been like terrible, you know.

444
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,439
Speaker 3: So even though they both suck, like you, I'm just

445
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:17,159
Speaker 3: trying to look for what to be grateful for in

446
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:22,560
Speaker 3: each setting. Again, my dad passing, like it sucks and

447
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,439
Speaker 3: it's really sad, but then like I just try to

448
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:27,040
Speaker 3: think positively, like he lived a great life, He did

449
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,199
Speaker 3: everything he wanted, Like we got those three weeks to

450
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:32,560
Speaker 3: spend with him in the hospital telling him how important

451
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:34,160
Speaker 3: he was to us and how much we loved him

452
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:35,919
Speaker 3: and all that stuff, Like it wasn't just like a

453
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:41,000
Speaker 3: sudden he's not there anymore. So there's like so many

454
00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:45,040
Speaker 3: little blessings within the horrible circumstances.

455
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:48,880
Speaker 5: Does that make it easier. Hearder you think which part

456
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 5: the three weeks leading up?

457
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:55,240
Speaker 3: Oh so my brother, My brother made a comment, he

458
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:59,200
Speaker 3: spoke about it, and he was like, man, he was like, honestly,

459
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:01,240
Speaker 3: like you got to be great full Dad was eighty seven.

460
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,200
Speaker 3: He lived a beautiful life. He was still like walking

461
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,199
Speaker 3: around and even though he was a bit weaker, he

462
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:08,120
Speaker 3: like still was living a great life until the till

463
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 3: the end. And he was like he wasn't in a wheelchair,

464
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:14,840
Speaker 3: he wasn't like strictly on oxygen for years on end,

465
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:19,119
Speaker 3: like he was still functioning. And he was like the

466
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:21,919
Speaker 3: difference is I would want to almost like when I

467
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:23,639
Speaker 3: have to go, He's like almost have a heart attack

468
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:25,480
Speaker 3: and like go, Like I don't even want those three weeks.

469
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 3: And I was like, no, I highly disagree. Those three

470
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:33,119
Speaker 3: weeks were like beautiful to me. So it's like you

471
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,200
Speaker 3: got to spend time with him. You got to take

472
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:42,800
Speaker 3: care of him, like you got to like tell him,

473
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:48,359
Speaker 3: like you got to like tell him how important he

474
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:48,800
Speaker 3: was too.

475
00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:52,439
Speaker 7: So you definitely get more closure that way, like you

476
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:54,239
Speaker 7: can't like you're not going to look back and be

477
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:55,160
Speaker 7: like I wish I said this, I.

478
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:57,359
Speaker 3: Wish I said that yeah, exactly exactly.

479
00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:00,720
Speaker 4: I think it's probably best for everybody feelings.

480
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I think those three weeks were like beautiful.

481
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,119
Speaker 3: We got to like tell him everything we wanted to

482
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 3: and and it's like this guy has like given us

483
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:21,439
Speaker 3: like everything, our whole life, like everything, Like he was

484
00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 3: so unselfish and it's like, how do you repay that?

485
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 4: Not to be a Bachelor interviewer. But did Peter reach out?

486
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:31,679
Speaker 5: Uh?

487
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 3: Yeah he did. He did, which was very nice. Yeah,

488
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:38,480
Speaker 3: he did. I mean he he was down here for

489
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:40,560
Speaker 3: the time that we were dating. You know, he knew

490
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:44,199
Speaker 3: my parents and my dad had his pilot's license and

491
00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:47,720
Speaker 3: you know, Peter being a pilot, so they would have

492
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:53,320
Speaker 3: a conversation to talk about and it was like stupid

493
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 3: little things. My dad has this old Jaguar, like a

494
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,960
Speaker 3: vintage car, and none of us, none of us kids

495
00:26:57,960 --> 00:26:59,520
Speaker 3: know how to drive it, and Peter like knew how

496
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:03,679
Speaker 3: to drive stock. So like brand happiness that Peter might

497
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,320
Speaker 3: drive it around because no one else would appreciate it.

498
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:08,880
Speaker 3: You know, Peter reached out and that was very nice

499
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:10,640
Speaker 3: of them.

500
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 5: The it's I didn't think about it that way, that

501
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:18,400
Speaker 5: this interesting season of life where you know, now you're

502
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:21,720
Speaker 5: sitting in something that's so much more important. You've talked

503
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,440
Speaker 5: about the the power of social media now in two

504
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:27,520
Speaker 5: different ways, uh, And I think that actually would be

505
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:31,960
Speaker 5: a very like unfamiliar experience for most people in the

506
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 5: spotlight to have social media be used for two beneficial

507
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:40,639
Speaker 5: practice purposes, one communicating that the guy you're dating sucked,

508
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:44,760
Speaker 5: and then two coming in support of you and trying

509
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:47,639
Speaker 5: to share with you any insight that maybe would be

510
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:53,680
Speaker 5: helpful during this season of healing and processing and you know, loss,

511
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:58,560
Speaker 5: h Have you always had this kind of experience on

512
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:01,160
Speaker 5: social media? Is this or is this new?

513
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:01,840
Speaker 7: No?

514
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:08,200
Speaker 3: I mean not necessarily with the breakup. I think there

515
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 3: was just a lot more details to give in this

516
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:13,200
Speaker 3: scenario that I just didn't know about. And that's maybe

517
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:18,359
Speaker 3: why it happened with my dad's situation in the social

518
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:21,639
Speaker 3: media Like it wasn't even the grief thing too, Ben,

519
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,119
Speaker 3: it was when we were in the hospital, the amount

520
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:27,520
Speaker 3: of people who were having like who had similar experiences

521
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,640
Speaker 3: that were like informing me and teaching me like NonStop,

522
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 3: like whether it was hey, if he has double pneumonia,

523
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:37,440
Speaker 3: make sure like you're checking antibiotics. His body could respond

524
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:39,640
Speaker 3: poorly to this one, but it could like do this

525
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 3: one better. Like they were just teaching me. And when

526
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,480
Speaker 3: it came to like the respiratory stuff him on oxygen,

527
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:49,040
Speaker 3: like people were telling me their past experiences and also

528
00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:51,240
Speaker 3: just like helping, Like I was like messaging them back

529
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:52,760
Speaker 3: and I was like, hey, this is what's going on

530
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 3: right now, Like what do you think it is? Whether

531
00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 3: his blood pressure dropped too low. We also had a

532
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 3: family friend that we were calling and doctors and some

533
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,360
Speaker 3: of my girlfriends from Alabama. They were nurses that I

534
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:09,200
Speaker 3: was speaking to, but they're like, hey, if blood pressure

535
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:11,760
Speaker 3: is low and like his vitals are fine, like this

536
00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:13,400
Speaker 3: is what could be going on. So I was like

537
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:15,240
Speaker 3: taking a picture of the vital sending it over to

538
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:18,000
Speaker 3: people and being like hey, like do you know what

539
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:22,080
Speaker 3: this means? And people were just like telling me. And

540
00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:24,120
Speaker 3: then we would kind of tell the nurses like do

541
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:25,600
Speaker 3: you think it's just that and the other And we

542
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 3: solved like a lot of problems with that. There was

543
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:34,200
Speaker 3: one point where his body was like two dehydrated and

544
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:36,040
Speaker 3: they need to get like a v an IV in

545
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:39,480
Speaker 3: him like asap, and that worked. And there was like

546
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:42,760
Speaker 3: another time where we thought we were going to lose him.

547
00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 3: They gave him too much of a diuretic, and like

548
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:49,800
Speaker 3: they're like we like the second doctor that came were

549
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:51,720
Speaker 3: like asked the nurse, like how much of a diuretic

550
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:53,360
Speaker 3: did they give him? And you saw his face he

551
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 3: was like, oh shit. So I think, you know, there's

552
00:29:58,160 --> 00:29:59,960
Speaker 3: there's things that can go wrong on a daily base

553
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:03,280
Speaker 3: there and it's not necessarily anyone's fault, but it's a

554
00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:07,920
Speaker 3: kind of trial and error. So I was just learning

555
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:11,160
Speaker 3: like so much through social media with the grief, through

556
00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:15,400
Speaker 3: the hospital experience. Yeah, and I guess the breakup, but

557
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 3: it's it just made me think. I was like, man, like,

558
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:23,800
Speaker 3: social media is beyond powerful and I don't know if

559
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:27,080
Speaker 3: i've like ever. I feel like people have helped me

560
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 3: in other scenarios too with this. This isn't like a

561
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 3: one or two and done. I learn a lot from

562
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:37,720
Speaker 3: a lot of the people that follow me, and again

563
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:41,239
Speaker 3: I apologize for me not responding to everyone, but I

564
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 3: was reading every single one of them and being like,

565
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:48,040
Speaker 3: how does this work? What's going on? But yeah, I

566
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:52,120
Speaker 3: think I don't know. Maybe I maybe I'm like pretty

567
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 3: open with some things that are going on in my

568
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:57,479
Speaker 3: life and kind of ask and people respond, I don't know.

569
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:01,200
Speaker 3: I don't know, but yeah, I've like I've had I've

570
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:02,520
Speaker 3: learned a lot of other things too.

571
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:05,560
Speaker 2: Also weird transition. I think everything will be like a

572
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:08,000
Speaker 2: weird transition today. But like this is still on the

573
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:11,560
Speaker 2: topic of your family. Your sister's part of the Prince

574
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:16,080
Speaker 2: Harry and Megan Marvel produced series Polo on Netflix, and

575
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:17,680
Speaker 2: you appear in an episode.

576
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,480
Speaker 4: Did you guys ever interact with Harry and Meghan?

577
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 3: They were at one So my sister and her husband

578
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:29,959
Speaker 3: do I don't know, once a year, twice a year,

579
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 3: a couple of times a year, because they're in that world.

580
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 3: I mean, I just go up there to do whatever,

581
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:36,600
Speaker 3: you know. My sister's like come to a game. There

582
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:38,520
Speaker 3: was one game that we went to that they were there,

583
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:41,320
Speaker 3: and like, if I wanted to, I could have gone

584
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:45,480
Speaker 3: and introduced myself with my sister, and but I was like, yeah,

585
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:47,480
Speaker 3: I just don't want to bombard them, you know, I

586
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:51,120
Speaker 3: just like, what am I going to say? Hi? So

587
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:53,760
Speaker 3: so yeah, no, they hosted a dinner, they hosted a

588
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:57,320
Speaker 3: game which I was at. They were around, but I

589
00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 3: was like, what would I even say?

590
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:01,840
Speaker 4: What about your sister?

591
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:02,040
Speaker 5: Does?

592
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:05,960
Speaker 2: She had more of a relationship or like can tell

593
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 2: us like if which side is which side of Megan

594
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:10,520
Speaker 2: do we believe?

595
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 3: I don't think she knows them well enough like that

596
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:19,600
Speaker 3: to like actually have an opinion when she's it's more

597
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:24,400
Speaker 3: of like dinners her husband playing games against them and

598
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:29,640
Speaker 3: they'll talk, but they're definitely not like close. Yeah, I

599
00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:33,320
Speaker 3: think it's more so. And again, like Harry's not there

600
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 3: on a day to day, like he's in that world

601
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:37,840
Speaker 3: and he'll play pullout here and there, but like he's

602
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:40,920
Speaker 3: not like has his own team playing and all these

603
00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:43,800
Speaker 3: tournaments and all that stuff. Who's like in Wellington NonStop?

604
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:45,920
Speaker 3: You know, I don't I don't think. I don't know

605
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,760
Speaker 3: if he even has a place in Wellington, which is

606
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:50,360
Speaker 3: where they play. So I think it's more of pops

607
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:51,440
Speaker 3: and pops in and out.

608
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 5: Just to be clear for anybody listening, I believe Kelly

609
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 5: has a seagull that is chasing after something in the background.

610
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:11,560
Speaker 5: And so if you can hear a bird, Ashley has

611
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:13,960
Speaker 5: not gotten birds in her parents' house.

612
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:15,640
Speaker 6: It is a.

613
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:20,240
Speaker 5: Seagull saying hello to everybody listening. It looks like a

614
00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 5: beautiful place. By the way, I want to close this

615
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 5: time with you out kind of going back to the

616
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:33,520
Speaker 5: question I asked earlier about kind of the legacy of

617
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:35,200
Speaker 5: your dad, because that never really got answered, and I

618
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:37,080
Speaker 5: want to make sure that gets answered answered. But I

619
00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 5: want to do at the very end because I don't

620
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:42,680
Speaker 5: want to obviously, like sandwich all of this up into

621
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 5: like an emotional like bomb and then just make you,

622
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:48,200
Speaker 5: you know, have to sit in it. And so there

623
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:50,200
Speaker 5: are a few points that I want to pull out

624
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 5: here that I think people are very curious about when

625
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 5: it comes to the situation that happened a few months ago. Right,

626
00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:01,640
Speaker 5: this made obviously a lot of headline. We covered it here,

627
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:05,239
Speaker 5: We talked about it here. It was very confusing for

628
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:08,319
Speaker 5: so many reasons, probably most confusing to you, Kelly. It

629
00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:15,560
Speaker 5: sounds like you found out about your ex living. I

630
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,200
Speaker 5: don't know you put into your words, I'll put in

631
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:18,719
Speaker 5: the mind and you can correct me or tell me.

632
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:22,160
Speaker 5: I'm living a different life a second, like a whole

633
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:25,799
Speaker 5: nother life through social media to go back to that,

634
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:28,279
Speaker 5: but it sounds like this all kind of came in

635
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 5: at the same Like from what I'm hearing from you

636
00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:32,360
Speaker 5: is all these like messages started coming in at a

637
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:35,239
Speaker 5: similar time. And I want to know what sparked that,

638
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:38,759
Speaker 5: because if this was like a routine for him, if

639
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:42,120
Speaker 5: this wasn't something new to him, then why all of

640
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 5: a sudden did multiple people reach out at the same time.

641
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:48,960
Speaker 3: I don't even know what. So I had a burner

642
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:52,240
Speaker 3: account messaged me and was like, if you're still again,

643
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:55,360
Speaker 3: like we weren't. We weren't in. We weren't in like

644
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:58,799
Speaker 3: a great place over the summer. But we broke up

645
00:34:58,840 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 3: and I was like, all right, I need to get

646
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:01,600
Speaker 3: out of that. I need to get out and he's like, no,

647
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,200
Speaker 3: you know, give me another shot, give me another chance.

648
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:07,680
Speaker 3: So I just stopped posting him so much on social

649
00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:09,960
Speaker 3: media because I was like, I don't know where this

650
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 3: is going to go. I don't want to put the pressure,

651
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 3: like outside pressure on this, Like I want to figure

652
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:17,080
Speaker 3: it out myself without an outside pressure. But I would

653
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,960
Speaker 3: I wasn't hiding anything. I would still post that I

654
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 3: was in Philadelphia. I would still post that he would

655
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:24,880
Speaker 3: be in some of my photos. It's just like I

656
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:28,000
Speaker 3: just changed the trajectory to not being like this is

657
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:31,439
Speaker 3: my relationship twenty four to seven. So people would keep

658
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 3: seeing those photos and then that's when I got someone

659
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:35,919
Speaker 3: message me to be like if you're still dating him,

660
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:39,319
Speaker 3: like he's essentially cheating on you, and I was like what,

661
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:45,320
Speaker 3: And so then I saw I started putting things together

662
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,120
Speaker 3: in my head and I was like what, Like there

663
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:50,400
Speaker 3: was other sketchy things that were going on that I

664
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:53,960
Speaker 3: probably was writing off in my head because I genuinely

665
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:56,319
Speaker 3: thought this person would like never be a cheater and

666
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:59,839
Speaker 3: like I was fooled, But there was other things going

667
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:05,040
Speaker 3: on where I remember this influencer she started following him

668
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:07,400
Speaker 3: this summer and I asked about it. I was like,

669
00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:10,360
Speaker 3: because they had like a previous past. And I asked

670
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 3: about it because I kept seeing her at events like everywhere.

671
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:15,120
Speaker 3: And I was never rude, I was never malicious. I

672
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:17,879
Speaker 3: just really would just like not not like give her

673
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:19,400
Speaker 3: the time of day, Like I wasn't gonna run up

674
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:22,239
Speaker 3: to her and say hi, I was just doing my thing.

675
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 3: And then I said something to him about it, and

676
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:27,000
Speaker 3: I was like, you know what, I keep seeing this

677
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:29,400
Speaker 3: girl at all these events we have mutual friends. I

678
00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:32,200
Speaker 3: feel bad that, like we were in a group circle

679
00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:34,200
Speaker 3: and she was like standing out of it and it

680
00:36:34,239 --> 00:36:36,800
Speaker 3: made me feel bad. So I said something along the

681
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:38,680
Speaker 3: lines of like I'm just gonna start being nice to her,

682
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 3: and I noticed that tipped and I noticed that something

683
00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:44,759
Speaker 3: was off, being like he was like why, you know

684
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:47,239
Speaker 3: why why? And it was like the energy was off

685
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:48,960
Speaker 3: with the way he responded, and I was like, I

686
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:52,680
Speaker 3: think there's something more going on here. So I went

687
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:56,040
Speaker 3: to her page and there was like a reel, and

688
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:58,040
Speaker 3: the reel said something along the lines of like, I

689
00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:01,000
Speaker 3: ran into a guy that I used to have a

690
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:03,080
Speaker 3: thing with, and I don't think the reason for running

691
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 3: into him is because we are going to date, but

692
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:07,839
Speaker 3: I but it just goes to show you that you

693
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:10,920
Speaker 3: could run into anywhere, anyone, any place, and like, I

694
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:13,480
Speaker 3: didn't expect to run into him. And I was like,

695
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:17,560
Speaker 3: why would she make the comment of I don't think

696
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:19,440
Speaker 3: running into him was the reason why we're going to date.

697
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:21,960
Speaker 3: If he openly told her we were openly dating, that

698
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:25,120
Speaker 3: wouldn't even cross her mind. So I knew something was off.

699
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 3: So I reached out to a mutual friend and I said, Hey,

700
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:30,480
Speaker 3: are you close with this girl? Will you figure out

701
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:32,279
Speaker 3: what's going on? She was like that girl's a girl's girl.

702
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:34,239
Speaker 3: Reach out yourself, She'll tell you everything you want to hear.

703
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 3: So then when I reached out to her, We got

704
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:38,400
Speaker 3: on the phone real quick and she's like, what do

705
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,160
Speaker 3: you want to know? And I told her this situation

706
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:42,000
Speaker 3: and she was like, holy shit, you've been dating him

707
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:45,120
Speaker 3: like this whole summer. I said yeah, and she was like, well,

708
00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:46,920
Speaker 3: this is what's going on. And she sent me like

709
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:48,520
Speaker 3: receipts of everything and.

710
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 2: Like there was something going on between her and him.

711
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:53,799
Speaker 3: So he would like keep it up in the air

712
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:58,080
Speaker 3: to be like, you know, I'm single, but I talked

713
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:02,080
Speaker 3: to Kelly today and I really love her, but who

714
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:04,560
Speaker 3: knows if we're going to get back together. So he

715
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:06,719
Speaker 3: was like keeping her on her toes, but he was

716
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:08,880
Speaker 3: like sending her black cars to come to a party

717
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 3: and making them. He took her phone and was like,

718
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:15,520
Speaker 3: let's take a selfie together, very handsy with her and

719
00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:17,360
Speaker 3: all that stuff. But she was the one. She was like,

720
00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:21,120
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna lie. If I allowed it, something would

721
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 3: have happened. But she was like there would be times

722
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:25,960
Speaker 3: where he made it like seem like it wasn't one

723
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:27,880
Speaker 3: hundred percent over and I just didn't want to overstep.

724
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:32,080
Speaker 3: That was one scenario. Okay, that was just one. So

725
00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:34,360
Speaker 3: then I started researching and I was the one. I

726
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:36,120
Speaker 3: was like, I don't care how crazy I look. I'll

727
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:39,080
Speaker 3: reach out to anyone I can. And so I started

728
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:41,480
Speaker 3: reaching out to girls that like other sketchy things have

729
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:44,360
Speaker 3: happened with them around, whether it's friends or girls that

730
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:48,000
Speaker 3: I met, And then that's when it started really coming down.

731
00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:50,040
Speaker 3: And then when I announced it, like it was like

732
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:54,960
Speaker 3: the flood gates opened. So that's kind of how it worked.

733
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:58,680
Speaker 3: And then this girl that he had sex with in

734
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:02,000
Speaker 3: California when I did the podcast, she reached out to

735
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:03,600
Speaker 3: me and she's like, give me all you want, and

736
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:06,560
Speaker 3: I said, okay, what happened? And she told me everything

737
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:09,879
Speaker 3: that he was like using my name to like pick

738
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:11,560
Speaker 3: them up, to being like this girl and like showing

739
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:13,799
Speaker 3: in my Instagram. This girl broke my heart. She broke

740
00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:14,280
Speaker 3: my heart.

741
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:17,880
Speaker 2: No, this is all coming out after you did the

742
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:21,279
Speaker 2: Chicks in the Office interview, So like you would are

743
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:23,520
Speaker 2: you were already so screwed over by not screwed over,

744
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:26,839
Speaker 2: but you know, he was just totally unfaithful seeming going

745
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:30,279
Speaker 2: into that podcast. Podcast comes out, and then even more

746
00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:31,440
Speaker 2: women come out of the woodwork.

747
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:35,880
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, So she sent me like all the receipts

748
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:37,759
Speaker 3: and she told me what happened, and yeah, he was

749
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:40,880
Speaker 3: like using my name to pick them up, and but

750
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:44,040
Speaker 3: it's it's crazy, Like it's not only that, Like I

751
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:46,560
Speaker 3: was finding out even more stuff, like I found out

752
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:51,560
Speaker 3: that he was logged into my like personal Gmail account

753
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:54,719
Speaker 3: for over a year, and I was like, what the hell,

754
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:57,600
Speaker 3: Like every uber that I've taken, all my contacts, all

755
00:39:57,640 --> 00:40:00,520
Speaker 3: of my like calendar, everything I would ever just like

756
00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:06,640
Speaker 3: was on his phone, so like just creepy behavior like that.

757
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:10,240
Speaker 3: And he kind of like outed himself on that because

758
00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:13,160
Speaker 3: I went to go log in and it was like

759
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:16,480
Speaker 3: a double authentication thing and he was like, by the way,

760
00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:18,319
Speaker 3: like this popped up on my phone. I was like,

761
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:20,239
Speaker 3: why are you logged into my email? This was like

762
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:21,800
Speaker 3: when we were breaking up, and he was like, I

763
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:23,560
Speaker 3: don't know, like you must have logged in. I was like,

764
00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:27,279
Speaker 3: I never logged in on your phone. And then I

765
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:30,000
Speaker 3: went to go look when that device was logged in

766
00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:32,360
Speaker 3: and it was like October twenty twenty three, So I

767
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 3: was like, this guy has had access to my personal

768
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:41,040
Speaker 3: email account for the past year. Like it just like weird,

769
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:45,920
Speaker 3: weird behavior. And I was finding out even more stuff,

770
00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:48,279
Speaker 3: like I just genuinely had no idea who this person was.

771
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:54,920
Speaker 3: I found out that a big part of his career

772
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:58,040
Speaker 3: and success as they owned like strip clubs and he

773
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:02,719
Speaker 3: was helping manage them. Not once did I ever hear that,

774
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:06,319
Speaker 3: And it was like years of his life and I

775
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:08,560
Speaker 3: never knew any of that. Like I was under the

776
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 3: impression that this guy hated strip clubs. Little did I know,

777
00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:16,560
Speaker 3: like he was working them owning them, like and that's

778
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:18,560
Speaker 3: like equivalent to me dating someone for a year and

779
00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:20,200
Speaker 3: a half and me never telling them that I'm an

780
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:22,319
Speaker 3: attorney or went to law school. Like it was like

781
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 3: a prevalent time in his life and he would just

782
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:30,480
Speaker 3: like tell me that he didn't like them. So it

783
00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:32,880
Speaker 3: was just like it just goes to show you, like

784
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:37,080
Speaker 3: I knew nothing, Like I thought this person was this way,

785
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:40,960
Speaker 3: and then like I just found out like almost every

786
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,520
Speaker 3: content and even when he cheated on me with the

787
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:47,160
Speaker 3: girl in California, like he told me he was out

788
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:50,160
Speaker 3: there for a conference with all of his like these

789
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:52,400
Speaker 3: buddies in this group that he's in. He told me

790
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:53,759
Speaker 3: he was out there for a conference, So I thought

791
00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:55,440
Speaker 3: he was at these events for a conference. She's like, no,

792
00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:57,320
Speaker 3: I met him at Delilah's. We went to a strip

793
00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:01,839
Speaker 3: club together after, and then I went home with him

794
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,520
Speaker 3: on a day to day Like I didn't know what

795
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:06,680
Speaker 3: he was up to. It was like lies. I thought

796
00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:11,440
Speaker 3: he was at these party conferences his past history. I

797
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:15,040
Speaker 3: didn't know anything about it. I thought he was managing restaurants,

798
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:18,279
Speaker 3: which I think they were also doing. But there was

799
00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:21,799
Speaker 3: a lot of parts, whether it was past present that

800
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:26,680
Speaker 3: I just I didn't know anything. Like I again, I

801
00:42:26,719 --> 00:42:28,440
Speaker 3: just had people reaching out to me telling me, like

802
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:31,120
Speaker 3: all of these crazy, crazy stories, and honestly, there's a

803
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:34,920
Speaker 3: lot that I don't even feel comfortable talking about, but

804
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:38,279
Speaker 3: it just goes to show you that, like I had

805
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:40,319
Speaker 3: no clue of who I was with.

806
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:43,160
Speaker 4: I'm just so surprised girls didn't reach out before.

807
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:48,680
Speaker 3: So I like asked that, And a lot of girls

808
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:51,160
Speaker 3: are under the assumptions that, like an influencer won't see it,

809
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:54,279
Speaker 3: or they were under assumption of you never know, she

810
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:55,839
Speaker 3: might be on a break with him and they might

811
00:42:55,880 --> 00:43:00,520
Speaker 3: not be together. But a lot of the same thing

812
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:02,680
Speaker 3: was one, I didn't think you would see it, and

813
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:05,440
Speaker 3: then two like I didn't know where your relationship stood,

814
00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:08,360
Speaker 3: and we didn't want to get involved and then a

815
00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:11,719
Speaker 3: lot of people were like, we thought he changed. So

816
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:16,040
Speaker 3: between those it was that was like kind of the

817
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 3: same answers.

818
00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:20,200
Speaker 5: How did you guys meet through.

819
00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:27,160
Speaker 3: Mutual friends, which I thought you could? Yeah, And with

820
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:32,319
Speaker 3: that too, I think our mutual friends knew more than

821
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:39,319
Speaker 3: I did and maybe didn't fully indulge. And then when

822
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:43,920
Speaker 3: the whole influencer thing happened, I actually called one of

823
00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:47,480
Speaker 3: them and said, you were there, do you know anything?

824
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 3: And she said no, but yeah, maybe they just don't

825
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:56,319
Speaker 3: want to get involved. I'm not sure, but I don't

826
00:43:56,360 --> 00:44:00,360
Speaker 3: think I was getting the whole truth on that. That

827
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:02,560
Speaker 3: like kind of hurt me that I was like, ah, shit,

828
00:44:02,719 --> 00:44:06,800
Speaker 3: like I value some of those people.

829
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:11,279
Speaker 5: This is the wildest like I mean, I know it's

830
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:14,720
Speaker 5: the like cliche comparison. It's like not only a TV show,

831
00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 5: but it's like the there's many TV shows I could

832
00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:20,799
Speaker 5: like name right now that would make me think of

833
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:25,480
Speaker 5: this scenario, and none of them would be good. It's creepy,

834
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:30,800
Speaker 5: it's weird, it's deceitful, it's unfaithful, it's all these things

835
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:31,879
Speaker 5: and so and.

836
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:35,239
Speaker 3: What's even weirder too, is like again I was under

837
00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:37,719
Speaker 3: the impression where you know, he would tell me things

838
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:43,120
Speaker 3: like me doing social media. It would be things like, oh, well,

839
00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:44,719
Speaker 3: where I want my future to be is I want

840
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:46,120
Speaker 3: a flip phone. I don't even want to be on

841
00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:48,280
Speaker 3: social media. I don't want it, like any of this stuff.

842
00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 3: And one I was like, well, this is my job

843
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:53,600
Speaker 3: and I actually really like it, like whether people make

844
00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:57,160
Speaker 3: influencers or all. Like, I genuinely, truly truly enjoy what

845
00:44:57,239 --> 00:44:59,400
Speaker 3: I do. And I'm like always so grateful day to

846
00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:03,280
Speaker 3: day that I'm capable of doing this. But it always

847
00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:05,919
Speaker 3: kind of made me feel like a little shitty that

848
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:09,000
Speaker 3: that was like completely different, Like he wanted this super

849
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:11,839
Speaker 3: private life and then I'm doing this and I was like, man,

850
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:14,320
Speaker 3: like I felt like you knew who I was coming

851
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:16,319
Speaker 3: into this, Like it's not like it just came to

852
00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:18,080
Speaker 3: me while I was dating you.

853
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:22,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, he also probably wanted a very private life because

854
00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:25,000
Speaker 2: the more you posted about him, the more likely he

855
00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:26,160
Speaker 2: was going to get caught.

856
00:45:26,719 --> 00:45:29,680
Speaker 3: Well what's crazy, Ashley is like, So he would say

857
00:45:29,719 --> 00:45:31,879
Speaker 3: those things, but then when we break up, he went

858
00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:34,960
Speaker 3: and bought like twenty five thirty thousand fake followers. So

859
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:37,839
Speaker 3: I'm like, do you understand how confusing that is for me?

860
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:40,839
Speaker 3: Like I have someone telling me like, no, I want

861
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:42,879
Speaker 3: nothing to do with this life. But then like.

862
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:45,480
Speaker 4: This is a liar.

863
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:50,000
Speaker 3: It just like that those things that like truly don't

864
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:51,960
Speaker 3: add up in your head. That's what like confuses you.

865
00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:55,400
Speaker 3: But in the long run, like even now, especially going

866
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:58,000
Speaker 3: through my dad's stuff, like I just look back and

867
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:00,960
Speaker 3: I'm like thank the Lord, Like, can you imagine if

868
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:04,480
Speaker 3: I actually settled down with this and this became my life,

869
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:07,879
Speaker 3: like I would have been really bad, Like it would

870
00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:08,319
Speaker 3: have been bad.

871
00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:11,200
Speaker 4: Could you mention if you're with him during that vulnerable

872
00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:12,120
Speaker 4: part of life.

873
00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:15,439
Speaker 5: Was like the consoling and like and so what you're

874
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:18,640
Speaker 5: saying is the timing actually for his like messies. It

875
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:21,839
Speaker 5: seems actually it feels like it worked out in your

876
00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:24,040
Speaker 5: favor in terms of like getting out of that.

877
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:28,160
Speaker 3: I could not imagine. I could not imagine if it

878
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:31,720
Speaker 3: happened like during or after. Like it again, everything happens

879
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:34,719
Speaker 3: for a reason. And even though everything was like so

880
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:37,319
Speaker 3: close together and it was really confusing in a really

881
00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:40,919
Speaker 3: hard time for me, and like still a hard time

882
00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 3: with like my dad's stuff, but yeah, I'm very grateful

883
00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:46,760
Speaker 3: that it happened before.

884
00:46:57,920 --> 00:47:01,080
Speaker 2: Well, Kelly, between that story and just you know, the

885
00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:03,640
Speaker 2: way you carry yourself, and you've always been so graceful

886
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 2: and poised and so smart, and I you know, I

887
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:09,719
Speaker 2: don't know if it's something that would interest you, but

888
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:12,000
Speaker 2: I really do feel like you'd be really hard to

889
00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:15,160
Speaker 2: beat as the Bachelorette for the next season, Like, come on,

890
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:18,080
Speaker 2: try to find a better candidate than you. I feel

891
00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:19,799
Speaker 2: like everybody would love it. I think that you bring

892
00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:22,080
Speaker 2: a lot of viewership back to the show. So I'm

893
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:24,040
Speaker 2: putting in my boucher for Kelly.

894
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:29,040
Speaker 5: So outside of the Bachelorette campaign, which we'll start here

895
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:33,359
Speaker 5: on the Almost Famous podcast, we'll be totally fine doing that.

896
00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:35,520
Speaker 5: Would you say yes to it if they asked?

897
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:39,239
Speaker 4: I don't know perfect age thirty two.

898
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:42,600
Speaker 3: I think I'm a little bit older, you know what

899
00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:42,880
Speaker 3: I mean.

900
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:44,399
Speaker 4: I don't think that everybody would like that.

901
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:47,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true, but I don't think it's ever really

902
00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:49,320
Speaker 3: been done. Like I'm thirty two. I would need guys

903
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:52,719
Speaker 3: that are like older. You know, you usually see the

904
00:47:52,719 --> 00:47:54,520
Speaker 3: guys that's like twenty four to twenty five, but like

905
00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:57,640
Speaker 3: my guys would have to be like late thirties, like

906
00:47:57,840 --> 00:47:59,680
Speaker 3: maybe some forties that really.

907
00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:01,680
Speaker 4: Thirty Hell of that we would love to see.

908
00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:05,840
Speaker 3: It and actually, yeah, I don't know. I don't know, Ben,

909
00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:10,640
Speaker 3: I never has never even like gone.

910
00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:14,440
Speaker 5: There, well will now I'm guarantee there's gonna be a

911
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:20,520
Speaker 5: headline out tomorrow that says something similar to that. So uh,

912
00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:24,360
Speaker 5: outside of the Bachelorette that we're very much in favor of,

913
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:26,319
Speaker 5: and it makes a lot of sense. And sometimes we

914
00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:27,719
Speaker 5: say that and it's like, yeah, I don't know, I

915
00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:34,239
Speaker 5: actually really like this idea. You, Kelly, We've obviously been

916
00:48:34,239 --> 00:48:40,120
Speaker 5: a part of multiple you know, I love stories of yours, obviously,

917
00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:42,239
Speaker 5: I don't know, Like Ashley said, is it Peter one,

918
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:44,759
Speaker 5: two or three? I don't I can't track how many

919
00:48:44,800 --> 00:48:46,320
Speaker 5: times it's come back.

920
00:48:46,120 --> 00:48:49,680
Speaker 2: Together making fun of you for that either, No, just

921
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:50,000
Speaker 2: like you.

922
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:55,160
Speaker 3: It's it's just like I find it funny. What am

923
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:55,640
Speaker 3: I doing?

924
00:48:56,840 --> 00:49:01,640
Speaker 5: What with the lessons learned and romantically good and bad?

925
00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 5: Kind of where is your mind at right now when

926
00:49:05,719 --> 00:49:08,880
Speaker 5: it comes to dating? What are you looking for? What

927
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:10,919
Speaker 5: have you kind of learned that you should be looking for?

928
00:49:11,840 --> 00:49:15,880
Speaker 3: I listen. I usually I never regret any relationship, no

929
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:19,200
Speaker 3: matter how bad it is, I never regret it because

930
00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:22,080
Speaker 3: there is always a silver lining of me learning something

931
00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 3: throughout all of them, So even like some of the

932
00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:29,799
Speaker 3: hardest ones and all of that, like I won't regret it.

933
00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:34,400
Speaker 3: But I think a lot of things that I've realized

934
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:39,160
Speaker 3: is I tend to go for I'm kind of a homebody.

935
00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:42,800
Speaker 3: I don't really I don't really drink. It's a rarity

936
00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:48,400
Speaker 3: for me. I'm a homebody. I probably should should get

937
00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:52,600
Speaker 3: out more than I do. I think I'm like so

938
00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:54,919
Speaker 3: reserved that it's like almost not healthy in that manner.

939
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 3: So I need to like start going out more and

940
00:49:56,719 --> 00:49:59,799
Speaker 3: socializing more. But I tend to date people that are

941
00:49:59,840 --> 00:50:05,360
Speaker 3: like really really big partiers, are always out, extremely social,

942
00:50:05,440 --> 00:50:09,520
Speaker 3: like kid not really sit in much. That's one thing

943
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:13,400
Speaker 3: I learned is like maybe stop going for someone who's

944
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:17,400
Speaker 3: put so much value on that. I think that's like

945
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:24,440
Speaker 3: been my lesson through some of them. Another thing I

946
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 3: learned is it's gonna sound weird, but like I just

947
00:50:30,120 --> 00:50:33,359
Speaker 3: want someone that I could just like laugh with and

948
00:50:33,440 --> 00:50:37,879
Speaker 3: like has more of an easier going personality, like kind

949
00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:40,239
Speaker 3: of my dad and my brother, my brother Tom, I'm

950
00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:42,440
Speaker 3: like his biggest fan right now, just saying like all

951
00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:44,279
Speaker 3: the stuff that he did for my dad and like

952
00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:47,759
Speaker 3: how like loyal he was, and like how like he's

953
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:51,560
Speaker 3: just like a good person. He's not like super reactive.

954
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:54,959
Speaker 3: He's just like always in high spirits. And it's something

955
00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:57,200
Speaker 3: I really value in him, and I valued in my

956
00:50:57,320 --> 00:51:00,000
Speaker 3: dad that I've noticed, like some of my siblings are

957
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:03,680
Speaker 3: a little bit more harsh and rash and just like

958
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:06,600
Speaker 3: on a day to day, like I like never fight

959
00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:10,880
Speaker 3: with him, and I just like really value his mindset.

960
00:51:11,040 --> 00:51:15,600
Speaker 3: And I've been in relationships where people maybe were more

961
00:51:15,640 --> 00:51:22,080
Speaker 3: explosive one and I've learned, like I don't do well

962
00:51:22,120 --> 00:51:28,239
Speaker 3: with that personality, and I guess I just like I

963
00:51:28,280 --> 00:51:30,920
Speaker 3: just want to have fun. I just want someone who's

964
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:33,920
Speaker 3: like not so reactive, because like I really don't do

965
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:38,239
Speaker 3: well with that, and maybe someone who's not necessarily like

966
00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:42,839
Speaker 3: super social, super social partier, like NonStop, you're going.

967
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:46,439
Speaker 5: To be the coolest wife ever. Because once I got

968
00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:49,440
Speaker 5: married Ashley and I joke about this, it's either thirties

969
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:53,440
Speaker 5: or its marriage. There's very few evenings that I'm not

970
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:56,200
Speaker 5: in bed by eight point fifteen, and I could not

971
00:51:56,360 --> 00:51:59,760
Speaker 5: be happier. Like it is a dream. It just seems

972
00:51:59,760 --> 00:52:02,040
Speaker 5: to happen. Once you find that person, I think you're

973
00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:04,600
Speaker 5: onto something there. I actually think it's a key element

974
00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:08,880
Speaker 5: in a relationship. When you find that human who is

975
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:14,080
Speaker 5: like so happy just being with you, which typically means

976
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:18,320
Speaker 5: you're married. It is like the most like amazing experience,

977
00:52:18,320 --> 00:52:20,800
Speaker 5: and I want that for you because it changes things.

978
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:24,280
Speaker 5: And going out now seems like the most massive feat

979
00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:27,480
Speaker 5: you can Actually it's the biggest.

980
00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:29,120
Speaker 4: Unless it's like going out to dinner. That's the one thing.

981
00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:30,600
Speaker 4: Oh my god, they're going to a party.

982
00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:33,399
Speaker 5: Oh good goodness, going to a bar.

983
00:52:33,600 --> 00:52:36,239
Speaker 4: Oh my god. I tell you, when the last time

984
00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:36,840
Speaker 4: that happened?

985
00:52:37,239 --> 00:52:39,680
Speaker 3: I know, and I don't. I'm just like I feel

986
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:43,520
Speaker 3: like I'm an old soul, but yeah, I don't know.

987
00:52:43,640 --> 00:52:46,120
Speaker 3: But I'm telling you I'm almost unhealthy the other way,

988
00:52:46,360 --> 00:52:48,960
Speaker 3: Like I'm almost like never want to leave, never want

989
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:53,160
Speaker 3: to do anything. I'm like a little reclue. So I

990
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:55,040
Speaker 3: think I did that in the past like a year

991
00:52:55,080 --> 00:52:57,040
Speaker 3: and a half, two years or something. But I was like, Okay,

992
00:52:57,080 --> 00:52:59,480
Speaker 3: I need to start pushing myself to get out to

993
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:04,359
Speaker 3: do things because I'm just like happy by myself and

994
00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:09,600
Speaker 3: doing It's awesome. You guys have no idea how much

995
00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:12,680
Speaker 3: I love plans like I love Yeah.

996
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:16,799
Speaker 5: You're in it. You're like fully dove in headfirst and

997
00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:17,279
Speaker 5: I love it.

998
00:53:17,360 --> 00:53:21,640
Speaker 3: Thirty like a family we have like a family farm.

999
00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:23,759
Speaker 3: And by the way, I want to give a shout

1000
00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:26,120
Speaker 3: out because Kelsey Weir is guys, I don't know if

1001
00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:29,600
Speaker 3: you know her well, but truly the greatest human I

1002
00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:32,360
Speaker 3: have met on this entire earth. I've never met someone

1003
00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:35,160
Speaker 3: so supportive. I've never met someone who is just like

1004
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:39,760
Speaker 3: there for you and like truly just like a great

1005
00:53:39,880 --> 00:53:40,399
Speaker 3: human being.

1006
00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:42,160
Speaker 4: You guys are roommates for a while.

1007
00:53:42,560 --> 00:53:46,280
Speaker 3: She I'm not going to speak on it, but she

1008
00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:48,239
Speaker 3: she came back to the US for a little bit,

1009
00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:51,680
Speaker 3: and yeah, she came to visit me in Miami and

1010
00:53:51,719 --> 00:53:55,120
Speaker 3: she we like spend months with each other whether whatever

1011
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:59,000
Speaker 3: is going on. But yeah, her, she like immediately flew in.

1012
00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:01,000
Speaker 3: When we had the few her up in Chicago for

1013
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:05,000
Speaker 3: my dad, she like immediately flew in. My brother is

1014
00:54:05,120 --> 00:54:08,040
Speaker 3: married and they're on their third kids. So life has

1015
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:12,040
Speaker 3: just been like hectic for all of us. And Kelsey

1016
00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:13,680
Speaker 3: came in. She was like, all right, I'm cooking dinner

1017
00:54:13,719 --> 00:54:16,240
Speaker 3: for everyone. I'm doing this like anything that she could

1018
00:54:16,239 --> 00:54:18,920
Speaker 3: to get like everyone's mind off of whatever. Like we

1019
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:21,400
Speaker 3: needed to write their obituary. We needed to like plan flowers,

1020
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:22,680
Speaker 3: like there's a lot that you have to do for

1021
00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:25,680
Speaker 3: a funeral, and that girl came in just like a powerhouse,

1022
00:54:25,719 --> 00:54:27,279
Speaker 3: being like where can I help? What can I do?

1023
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:31,680
Speaker 3: And just like literally I'll be on the phone just

1024
00:54:31,760 --> 00:54:35,680
Speaker 3: crying and she'll be like, it's okay, it's okay. I

1025
00:54:35,680 --> 00:54:39,360
Speaker 3: think sometimes I know that I just hide my emotions

1026
00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:41,759
Speaker 3: sometimes or maybe run away from them, and she was like,

1027
00:54:42,280 --> 00:54:45,040
Speaker 3: it's okay, cry it out, like speak about it. Like

1028
00:54:45,080 --> 00:54:50,200
Speaker 3: she's just she's very, very supportive and sweet and I

1029
00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:52,920
Speaker 3: couldn't ask for like a better friend.

1030
00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:56,000
Speaker 5: She's been in. Yeah, and it's nice that it comes

1031
00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:56,479
Speaker 5: from the show.

1032
00:54:57,400 --> 00:55:00,000
Speaker 3: Is like that's the thing that I'm most grateful for

1033
00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:02,960
Speaker 3: or like coming out of that show is her. But

1034
00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:05,279
Speaker 3: her and I are like little Grandma's together. We go

1035
00:55:05,360 --> 00:55:07,160
Speaker 3: and we guard. I don't think she likes the gardening

1036
00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:13,160
Speaker 3: as much as n she's like a truer with it. So, yeah,

1037
00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:14,880
Speaker 3: we do some boring things. In her thirties.

1038
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:17,960
Speaker 4: Oh, she's known for her crying, so she definitely understands yours.

1039
00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:23,400
Speaker 3: You know what's crazy? Ashley from who Kelsey was shown

1040
00:55:23,680 --> 00:55:27,839
Speaker 3: on TV versus Who Kelsey is Maybe now I don't

1041
00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:30,239
Speaker 3: know if it was growth within her or if like

1042
00:55:30,280 --> 00:55:33,120
Speaker 3: she triggered on the show. She is a com She's

1043
00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:36,960
Speaker 3: probably one of the most stable people in certain senses.

1044
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:40,520
Speaker 3: She loves her, she loves her what is it called

1045
00:55:41,320 --> 00:55:45,359
Speaker 3: conspiracy things, and she'll go on ransom but truly like

1046
00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:49,080
Speaker 3: a stable person. And then if I were to go

1047
00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:50,319
Speaker 3: back and watch the show, I'll be like, I don't

1048
00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:54,600
Speaker 3: even recognize that girl, Like it is like completely far fetched.

1049
00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:56,160
Speaker 3: I don't know if she was triggered on the show

1050
00:55:56,239 --> 00:55:59,080
Speaker 3: or if she's learned a lot and she's like, but yeah,

1051
00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:03,440
Speaker 3: she's nowhere near Like she's really not a big crier

1052
00:56:03,600 --> 00:56:06,920
Speaker 3: like I've since the show. I think she's maybe cried

1053
00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:10,879
Speaker 3: to me like two or three times. If that, it's

1054
00:56:10,960 --> 00:56:14,400
Speaker 3: just like a whole different person crazy.

1055
00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:16,640
Speaker 5: I kind of have that with my co host Ashley

1056
00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:19,600
Speaker 5: was known for crying, and she's very stable mom of two,

1057
00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:24,560
Speaker 5: like keeps life together. Now you can still get her going.

1058
00:56:25,040 --> 00:56:26,680
Speaker 4: Obviously, Yeah, but.

1059
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:31,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would agree, I'm not like I cry, probably

1060
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:33,800
Speaker 2: a little bit more on your average girl my age,

1061
00:56:33,840 --> 00:56:36,759
Speaker 2: but I wouldn't say it's very off.

1062
00:56:37,040 --> 00:56:38,440
Speaker 4: From the norm.

1063
00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:41,880
Speaker 3: Oh all right, well, we do want to finish.

1064
00:56:41,600 --> 00:56:43,920
Speaker 2: With you giving a little bit of a debdication to

1065
00:56:43,960 --> 00:56:47,000
Speaker 2: your dad, even though I know that this is very hard.

1066
00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:50,880
Speaker 5: Well, yeah, and the reason is because you you started

1067
00:56:50,880 --> 00:56:52,719
Speaker 5: the show off. You came on here and you said, Hey,

1068
00:56:52,760 --> 00:56:54,200
Speaker 5: I thought I was in a place I wanted the

1069
00:56:54,200 --> 00:56:56,759
Speaker 5: opportunity to talk about it is what you said, and

1070
00:56:56,840 --> 00:56:58,359
Speaker 5: you thought you were in a place that you could

1071
00:56:58,400 --> 00:57:00,560
Speaker 5: do it. You know, I don't know what you expected,

1072
00:57:00,640 --> 00:57:02,560
Speaker 5: like without emotion, but I don't know if that's ever

1073
00:57:02,600 --> 00:57:06,040
Speaker 5: going to exist. It's a sweet testament. I see it

1074
00:57:06,040 --> 00:57:09,239
Speaker 5: as like the most pure, sweetest testament. So I did

1075
00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:11,520
Speaker 5: we do want to give you the opportunity as we

1076
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:13,920
Speaker 5: close out here to kind of send us off with

1077
00:57:13,960 --> 00:57:16,280
Speaker 5: a message of what you wanted to say, like why

1078
00:57:16,320 --> 00:57:18,560
Speaker 5: did why did you want the opportunity to speak about

1079
00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:19,000
Speaker 5: this moment?

1080
00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:21,480
Speaker 3: Yeah? I think I just want to speak about this

1081
00:57:21,600 --> 00:57:26,520
Speaker 3: is because one again, like I didn't know this kind

1082
00:57:26,560 --> 00:57:31,400
Speaker 3: of pain existed, and going through this experience, I have

1083
00:57:31,680 --> 00:57:34,760
Speaker 3: learned that it is probably one of the most painful

1084
00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:41,480
Speaker 3: experiences anyone will ever experience. And I personally want to

1085
00:57:41,520 --> 00:57:46,520
Speaker 3: say that like I feel and I now understand like

1086
00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:52,560
Speaker 3: people that have experiences I now could like understand what

1087
00:57:52,760 --> 00:57:58,080
Speaker 3: they've gone through, and before that, I had no clue, Like,

1088
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:03,000
Speaker 3: no clue. You always here like someone's parent passing and

1089
00:58:03,040 --> 00:58:05,040
Speaker 3: you're like, man, I feel bad for them, but like

1090
00:58:05,280 --> 00:58:09,640
Speaker 3: until you experience it yourself, I genuinely don't think people

1091
00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:16,760
Speaker 3: understand the pain. And again I've been learning, and I

1092
00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:22,160
Speaker 3: think the most important thing is again, it'll never go away,

1093
00:58:22,200 --> 00:58:28,280
Speaker 3: but you do get stronger, and just like, be easy

1094
00:58:28,320 --> 00:58:31,880
Speaker 3: on yourself. Don't sit here and think like I need

1095
00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:33,320
Speaker 3: to get over this. I need to get over this

1096
00:58:33,480 --> 00:58:35,800
Speaker 3: I have right now. I thought I was strong enough

1097
00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:38,280
Speaker 3: to do this, but I can't keep it together. But

1098
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:41,280
Speaker 3: sometimes I try to push those emotions off and it's

1099
00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:45,439
Speaker 3: like no, no, no, it's healthy to feel them, feel them,

1100
00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:49,040
Speaker 3: and it's okay. And it almost goes to show you

1101
00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:54,880
Speaker 3: how much I appreciated this man, because like he's done

1102
00:58:54,920 --> 00:59:00,880
Speaker 3: everything for us. But I feel for anyone going through this,

1103
00:59:01,040 --> 00:59:03,360
Speaker 3: and I'm thankful that a lot of people have helped

1104
00:59:03,400 --> 00:59:05,240
Speaker 3: me through this, some people I don't even know, just

1105
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:09,000
Speaker 3: social media connections and teaching me about grief and teaching

1106
00:59:09,040 --> 00:59:12,800
Speaker 3: me like how its what the trajectory of this looks like.

1107
00:59:14,560 --> 00:59:18,320
Speaker 3: You can't just sit there and say like oh, I'm

1108
00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:20,880
Speaker 3: gonna move on from this like a relationship and have

1109
00:59:20,960 --> 00:59:24,360
Speaker 3: closure there, like like you want him here, like you

1110
00:59:24,400 --> 00:59:27,360
Speaker 3: didn't want him to pass, Like you don't ever sit

1111
00:59:27,400 --> 00:59:29,880
Speaker 3: there and think like negative things towards him, if anything,

1112
00:59:29,920 --> 00:59:31,960
Speaker 3: You're like, I love you, like I don't want you

1113
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:36,960
Speaker 3: to go, but I guess you just like learn how

1114
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:37,600
Speaker 3: to live with it.

1115
00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:42,680
Speaker 2: I just can't imagine being like that getting over that

1116
00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:45,320
Speaker 2: thought of like I can't FaceTime him, like I can't

1117
00:59:45,360 --> 00:59:47,000
Speaker 2: just tell him this or that, and it's like he's

1118
00:59:47,040 --> 00:59:50,320
Speaker 2: never gonna.

1119
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:50,720
Speaker 4: Sit in that chair in the failure room with us

1120
00:59:50,760 --> 00:59:51,479
Speaker 4: and stuff like that.

1121
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:56,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's actually crazy because you a lot of

1122
00:59:56,480 --> 00:59:59,400
Speaker 3: people who like reach out and have like a lot

1123
00:59:59,480 --> 01:00:03,760
Speaker 3: to say are people who have experienced this. For example,

1124
01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:07,720
Speaker 3: like Hannah Ann her husband's father just passed away, so

1125
01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:13,600
Speaker 3: super super supportive, like super supportive, sending flowers, like sending

1126
01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:17,400
Speaker 3: me these messages. Again, Kelsey is like my Diehart hero

1127
01:00:17,520 --> 01:00:21,320
Speaker 3: that I owe her the world. But you have other

1128
01:00:21,360 --> 01:00:23,880
Speaker 3: people that have experienced this, and like when things like

1129
01:00:23,920 --> 01:00:26,040
Speaker 3: this happen, you like they come in strong and you

1130
01:00:26,160 --> 01:00:30,080
Speaker 3: never you never suspect some of them. But it's just

1131
01:00:30,160 --> 01:00:33,360
Speaker 3: crazy how a lot of people that like showed up

1132
01:00:33,360 --> 01:00:36,880
Speaker 3: to my dad's wake, even a lot of them were

1133
01:00:36,960 --> 01:00:40,400
Speaker 3: people who have lost a parent, and like understand the pain. Again,

1134
01:00:40,560 --> 01:00:42,640
Speaker 3: Like before this, I was naive to it. I had

1135
01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:45,160
Speaker 3: no idea what it felt like. And you hear someone

1136
01:00:45,160 --> 01:00:47,200
Speaker 3: losing a parent, You're like, oh, I feel bad for them,

1137
01:00:47,240 --> 01:00:51,280
Speaker 3: and but you really really don't understand it until you

1138
01:00:51,320 --> 01:00:57,240
Speaker 3: experience it. And then I think, just like, lean on

1139
01:00:57,560 --> 01:01:01,400
Speaker 3: your family, lean on your friends to get over to

1140
01:01:01,480 --> 01:01:04,200
Speaker 3: get over some of the grief and to learn how

1141
01:01:04,200 --> 01:01:08,360
Speaker 3: to deal with it. My family has like a very

1142
01:01:08,400 --> 01:01:12,560
Speaker 3: sarcastic way of you know, saying his jokes or all

1143
01:01:12,600 --> 01:01:15,960
Speaker 3: of this stuff. But we just like keep living through

1144
01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:18,480
Speaker 3: him with a lot of the things that he does,

1145
01:01:18,640 --> 01:01:21,800
Speaker 3: and even things that he would get like upset about

1146
01:01:21,840 --> 01:01:23,720
Speaker 3: will be like running around and we'll say and it'll

1147
01:01:23,720 --> 01:01:26,520
Speaker 3: make us laugh instead of getting like really really sad

1148
01:01:26,560 --> 01:01:29,000
Speaker 3: and the dumps about it. We just keep trying to

1149
01:01:29,080 --> 01:01:33,200
Speaker 3: keep it like super super lighthearted and it helps a

1150
01:01:33,240 --> 01:01:35,480
Speaker 3: little bit. And I think the one thing too, that

1151
01:01:35,560 --> 01:01:38,919
Speaker 3: I learned from this experience is like something that really

1152
01:01:38,960 --> 01:01:43,480
Speaker 3: helps is people that knew him and people that message

1153
01:01:43,520 --> 01:01:47,479
Speaker 3: you like stories about the experiences that they had about

1154
01:01:47,560 --> 01:01:51,120
Speaker 3: him or with him, those like take a little bit

1155
01:01:51,120 --> 01:01:52,640
Speaker 3: of the pain away because you're like, oh my god,

1156
01:01:52,720 --> 01:01:55,240
Speaker 3: like other people saw it too, or like it brings

1157
01:01:55,240 --> 01:01:57,480
Speaker 3: you back to like a memory that other people have

1158
01:01:57,560 --> 01:02:00,120
Speaker 3: experienced with him, and it's like it brings like a

1159
01:02:00,200 --> 01:02:04,520
Speaker 3: smile to your face. That I have learned. And then

1160
01:02:04,560 --> 01:02:10,080
Speaker 3: another thing I've learned is when this happens, like you,

1161
01:02:10,120 --> 01:02:11,840
Speaker 3: none of us wanted to leave the couch. We didn't

1162
01:02:11,880 --> 01:02:15,640
Speaker 3: want to leave the couch. I could like barely eat.

1163
01:02:15,840 --> 01:02:17,760
Speaker 3: I could like didn't want to get up and like

1164
01:02:17,840 --> 01:02:20,080
Speaker 3: make myself food, and some of our neighbors like brought

1165
01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:24,440
Speaker 3: over like homemade lasagna are like food. And one of

1166
01:02:24,480 --> 01:02:26,840
Speaker 3: the things that I've learned is like if one of

1167
01:02:26,840 --> 01:02:30,560
Speaker 3: my friends has to unfortunately deal with this, which everyone will,

1168
01:02:30,560 --> 01:02:33,960
Speaker 3: but like at an age like mine, it it just

1169
01:02:34,040 --> 01:02:38,720
Speaker 3: kind of sucks even more. But food, Sending food is

1170
01:02:38,800 --> 01:02:40,560
Speaker 3: like one of the best things you could do in

1171
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:43,080
Speaker 3: this scenario, because like the last thing people want to

1172
01:02:43,080 --> 01:02:45,080
Speaker 3: do is like get up and start like making food.

1173
01:02:45,640 --> 01:02:49,960
Speaker 3: So sending food to us was just like huge. I

1174
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:51,840
Speaker 3: was like, all right, I'm popping into lasagna in and

1175
01:02:51,880 --> 01:02:53,560
Speaker 3: like we're good to go, and I would like take

1176
01:02:53,600 --> 01:02:57,080
Speaker 3: some bites, but you just learn certain things. And I

1177
01:02:57,080 --> 01:03:00,320
Speaker 3: think what those two things is, you know, do give

1178
01:03:00,560 --> 01:03:04,000
Speaker 3: Sending them food really helps. But then also people who

1179
01:03:04,120 --> 01:03:06,320
Speaker 3: are sending like a memory that they had with him

1180
01:03:06,800 --> 01:03:08,520
Speaker 3: is like takes a little bit off.

1181
01:03:10,120 --> 01:03:14,320
Speaker 5: Kelly, you said something that will stick with me, hopefully forever.

1182
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:17,360
Speaker 5: My memory isn't always great, but it hopefully will. You

1183
01:03:17,480 --> 01:03:21,040
Speaker 5: said that in moments of this type of pain, the

1184
01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:23,240
Speaker 5: grief may never leave you, but you're just going to

1185
01:03:23,280 --> 01:03:25,840
Speaker 5: grow stronger. Kelly. I think you are in the midst

1186
01:03:25,880 --> 01:03:27,600
Speaker 5: of that, and I think you're a testament to that,

1187
01:03:29,440 --> 01:03:32,080
Speaker 5: and I believe it to be true because I'm seeing

1188
01:03:32,120 --> 01:03:34,960
Speaker 5: it in you. Thank you for coming on here, thank

1189
01:03:35,000 --> 01:03:37,439
Speaker 5: you for having this conversation. Thank you for speaking into

1190
01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:40,840
Speaker 5: the people out there listening who have probably gone through

1191
01:03:40,880 --> 01:03:43,280
Speaker 5: something similar and as you said, it's a part of life.

1192
01:03:43,320 --> 01:03:45,720
Speaker 5: We all will at some point. And thank you for

1193
01:03:45,760 --> 01:03:51,160
Speaker 5: giving us some words of love and wisdom. And again,

1194
01:03:51,720 --> 01:03:54,920
Speaker 5: there aren't a lot of words in this moment too,

1195
01:03:56,120 --> 01:03:58,320
Speaker 5: there's no words to make you know any of this better,

1196
01:03:58,880 --> 01:04:00,640
Speaker 5: but we are thinking about you. You and the family.

1197
01:04:00,720 --> 01:04:04,640
Speaker 5: Please pass that on, and we appreciate you coming on

1198
01:04:06,040 --> 01:04:10,240
Speaker 5: keep doing you. You've been through a lot, and I

1199
01:04:10,240 --> 01:04:13,960
Speaker 5: guess I just want to tell you, probably like Kelsey

1200
01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:19,320
Speaker 5: told you, it's okay to feel it, because goodness gracious

1201
01:04:19,480 --> 01:04:22,760
Speaker 5: you have you've been through it in the last few months.

1202
01:04:24,080 --> 01:04:26,360
Speaker 5: So thanks for sharing your story.

1203
01:04:26,440 --> 01:04:28,040
Speaker 3: All right, guys, thanks for having me.

1204
01:04:28,520 --> 01:04:30,800
Speaker 4: Oh, thanks for being here and for sharing.

1205
01:04:31,320 --> 01:04:31,520
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1206
01:04:31,760 --> 01:04:35,720
Speaker 4: Sending you so much love, Bye bye, guys.

1207
01:04:37,280 --> 01:04:40,920
Speaker 1: Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast on iHeartRadio,

1208
01:04:41,120 --> 01:04:43,520
Speaker 1: or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.