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Speaker 1: Hi, everybody, Good afternoon, It's Thursday. Hello, Hi Chelsea. You've

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Speaker 1: had a big week this week I did. I made

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Speaker 1: an announcement that Joe Koy and I are no longer together.

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Speaker 1: So I announced that on my Instagram page, as one does.

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Speaker 1: I figured since we have been such a public couple,

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Speaker 1: that it was only appropriate to publicly break break up

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Speaker 1: um or let everybody know, because people were so invested

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Speaker 1: in our relationship and so supportive, which was so moving

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Speaker 1: to me, and it was really heartfelt to always hear

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Speaker 1: how you know, everybody loved it and was so inspired

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Speaker 1: and how I just wanted to let everyone know that

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Speaker 1: it is, you know, an ending, but it's a beginning

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Speaker 1: and it's not something that is going to break either

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Speaker 1: one of us, and that I have more hope than

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Speaker 1: I ever have about love and finding love, and I

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Speaker 1: now know that it's possible in the least in the

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Speaker 1: places you least expect it. I believe that I believe

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Speaker 1: that for everyone, for me and for everyone else, and

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Speaker 1: that my heart is open and it's not going to shut.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's now I'm open to the idea of

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Speaker 1: spending my life with someone, and I hadn't been for

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Speaker 1: a really long time. Your post was so beautiful, and

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Speaker 1: you know, I can tell that you both learned so

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Speaker 1: much from each other, and I think that's really all

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Speaker 1: we can ask from a relationship, is like not necessarily

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Speaker 1: till death do us part, but like what how did

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Speaker 1: you become more yourself? And how what did you learn

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Speaker 1: about yourself when you were in that relationship for the

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Speaker 1: good parts of yourself and the bad parts of yourself?

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Speaker 1: And you two are wonderful together. And I know, you

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Speaker 1: know you said you'll you'll still be friends and yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know. I mean it's hard to go through a

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Speaker 1: breakup obviously, but it's important to go through it and

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Speaker 1: not avoid it and not distract and deflect. And like

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Speaker 1: I I'm very against that. I'm very much about sitting

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Speaker 1: in my pain and understanding that something you know, that

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Speaker 1: I hoped was going to work out did not work out.

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Speaker 1: And he changed me in so many wonderful ways. You know,

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Speaker 1: he really fired up my work effic again and my

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Speaker 1: ambition again, and I my desire to do things and

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Speaker 1: be productive and have a voice and use my voice

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Speaker 1: instead of you know, there's so many times where I

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Speaker 1: fantasize about like moving to my worka well, mostly because

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Speaker 1: this country is going to hell in a handbasket or

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Speaker 1: moving it Canada and all the stuff. And and I think,

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Speaker 1: you know, Joe was a like a big beacon of

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Speaker 1: light in my life that I he's unforgettable, and I

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Speaker 1: like will take a lot of that with me into

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Speaker 1: my next phase of life. And I just I don't

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Speaker 1: want people to be heartbroken like on our behalf. Like

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Speaker 1: it's a beautiful thing to be loved like that, you know,

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Speaker 1: and to love someone like that, it's really beautiful. And

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Speaker 1: I'll never let go of that because I know that

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Speaker 1: it's out there now and it's possible, and I want

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Speaker 1: everyone else to know that it's possible too. And the

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Speaker 1: only work you can do is on yourself, and you know,

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Speaker 1: and and get through it and understand that you know,

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Speaker 1: nothing in life is really that permanent. And I did

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Speaker 1: my best and and that wasn't enough. Yeah, And like

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Speaker 1: they say, when you're going through something, keep going. That's

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Speaker 1: such a shift from where you were several years ago,

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Speaker 1: where you're I mean, just look at how you're experiencing

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Speaker 1: this loss. Like you are experiencing it. You're not closing

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Speaker 1: your mind to it, and like that's done. That's over.

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to think about it anymore. Like you

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Speaker 1: said so many times on this show, how you know

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Speaker 1: when a relationship, friendship, or otherwise was over, it was

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Speaker 1: just like that doors closed. I don't even think about

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Speaker 1: them anymore. And what I can't imagine a healthier way

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Speaker 1: to be processing this than you are right now. Thank you,

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Speaker 1: thank you. I'm definitely this is my first adult breakup,

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Speaker 1: even though it's public. It's like I've handled this with

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Speaker 1: as much adult technique and skill as I've been taught

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Speaker 1: through therapy. Thank you, Dan's eagel Um. You know, like

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Speaker 1: I know that I've acted with dignity and with grace,

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Speaker 1: and I am giving nothing but love, putting love out

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Speaker 1: there because I know that he needs that and everyone

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Speaker 1: needs it and I need it, and I now know

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Speaker 1: that that's the way to break up with love, not

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Speaker 1: with anger. Yeah, thank you so much for sharing that.

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Speaker 1: I know any time you go through a breakup it's

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Speaker 1: incredibly hard, and it's really rave of you to share

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Speaker 1: all of that. I think I speak for all of

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Speaker 1: the listeners out there when I say we're rooting for

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Speaker 1: you both, and I really can't wait to see what

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Speaker 1: the next chapter is thank you, Thank You. So as

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Speaker 1: we transition into our episode, how would you feel if

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Speaker 1: I tell you about something totally ridiculous that happened to

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Speaker 1: me this week. Yeah, let's do a light thing. A

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Speaker 1: light thing. So I just got back from Wisconsin. I

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Speaker 1: was there for a memorial, but it's for an aunt

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Speaker 1: who passed away several years ago. She was one of

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Speaker 1: our favorite aunts. But it was really wonderful to be

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Speaker 1: with all my like my favorite cousins, like the like yes,

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Speaker 1: the fun cousins. Yeah. I have a line in one

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Speaker 1: of my books where I say, like, sisters are great,

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Speaker 1: but like your cousin will help you, like order vodka

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Speaker 1: in an omelet, you know, like your sisters are slightly protective,

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Speaker 1: whereas cousins are down for the same party you were down.

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Speaker 1: And uh, yeah, I love I love cousins. I have

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Speaker 1: so many cousins too. It's nice that you went back

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Speaker 1: for a memorial. That's a really nice way to honor

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Speaker 1: your out. Yeah. She um. Well, my aunts and uncles

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Speaker 1: had had a cabin up in like the north woods

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Speaker 1: of Wisconsin. Manito wish Waters. If we have any listeners there,

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Speaker 1: and I used to go up there with them but

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Speaker 1: this an aunt. She had a phaseema and so it

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Speaker 1: was always easier for her to be up there, especially

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Speaker 1: during the summers, and loved it up there, so she

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Speaker 1: asked for her ashes to be spread there and we

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Speaker 1: finally all got it together and we're you know, we

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Speaker 1: we went up and it was just a beautiful time.

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Speaker 1: The side of the family. My uncle is Nigerian and

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Speaker 1: so we all just like are loud and eat spicy

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Speaker 1: food together and we just like try to make each

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Speaker 1: other scream laugh as loud as possible. It is the

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Speaker 1: most fun. It's just that that means everyone's in the

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Speaker 1: right age range. Yes, yeah, we're all kind of like

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Speaker 1: we grew up together nearby each other and also kind

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Speaker 1: of have kind of similar age ranges as well. Cut

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Speaker 1: cut love that. But so we're up in the northwest

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Speaker 1: of Wisconsin. The place we stayed at, I think has

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Speaker 1: not been touched since like the Seven Days, Like green

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Speaker 1: carpet on all the floors, there's like animal heads on

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Speaker 1: all the walls, a beautiful area on the lake. So

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Speaker 1: we had a great time. But we stayed in this

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Speaker 1: lodge that was like built in nine and it definitely

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Speaker 1: looked and felt it. But we had a great time together,

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Speaker 1: all drinking out on the porch and getting bitten by

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Speaker 1: mosquitoes and that sort of thing people talk about, like

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Speaker 1: when I loved when visits them and it's like they

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Speaker 1: see a bird and it reminds me, reminds them of

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Speaker 1: their mother, or you know, a butterfly and it reminds

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Speaker 1: them of their grandfather or or whatever. And so we

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Speaker 1: went to this really special place on a lake, and

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Speaker 1: I kept thinking, like, I wonder if Dad is going

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Speaker 1: to visit us. You know, we had some tears, we

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Speaker 1: had some laughs. We really remembered her, and so sweet

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Speaker 1: it was. It was really beautiful. We were up on

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Speaker 1: the honor, like to honor someone like that is so honorable. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm just thinking of different ways I can use the

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Speaker 1: word honor, honorary. So, you know, we decided would all

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Speaker 1: take a picture of this beautiful lake that she loved.

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Speaker 1: And so there was a small dock there because it

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Speaker 1: was sort of a boat launch, and several of my

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Speaker 1: cousins and I we went out on the dock and

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Speaker 1: it was a little rickety, but you know, I didn't

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Speaker 1: think too much of it. So we got there, we

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Speaker 1: take a few pictures, and we decided, well, let's get

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Speaker 1: everybody up on this dock and take a beautiful picture

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Speaker 1: with this vista. Well, everybody gets on the dock. My

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Speaker 1: nephew sort of says, oh, hey, like is this going

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Speaker 1: to be safe for us all because it's a little bendy.

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Speaker 1: My sisters like it's got bolts and stuff. It's fine,

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Speaker 1: we'll get up there. Brad. My husband is setting up

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Speaker 1: the picture on the shore. All of a sudden, somebody

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Speaker 1: it's moving. It's moving and this hole water, Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I love it was the most ridiculous things, like my like,

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Speaker 1: everyone is fine, like no one was hurt at all,

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Speaker 1: but like there was a moment where like my my

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Speaker 1: nephew's leg got kind of like trapped in one of

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Speaker 1: the boards, and so we all like bailed off. I

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Speaker 1: bailed off the side in the most inelegant way possible,

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Speaker 1: out wet up to my collar bones in one foot

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Speaker 1: of water somehow, like soaking wet. Anyway, everyone was totally fine,

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Speaker 1: no one was hurt, And I was like, that was

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Speaker 1: how I done. Showed up exactly like enough of this crying.

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Speaker 1: So everyone was in the water. Everyone was in the water,

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Speaker 1: like we were sopping wet and sorry, pepos, like you

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Speaker 1: needed a new talk. Okay, I haven't water falling in

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Speaker 1: the story as well from this weekend. So I was

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Speaker 1: with my cousins also up in Malibu or Topanga. We

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Speaker 1: had like a cook out on the beach and I

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Speaker 1: had some friends and all my cousins were there, and

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Speaker 1: then my two little cousins, Ella and Gray, who are

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Speaker 1: my cousins, babies, babies, they're eleven, and their teams so whatever, Well,

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Speaker 1: that's not okay. I was on pylons, you know, the

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Speaker 1: pylons go into the water. I was obviously intoxicated, and

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Speaker 1: I was taking Ella as her guardian across the pylons

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Speaker 1: and she was like, you know, we're walking and it

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Speaker 1: was the waves were crashing and coming in, and I

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Speaker 1: was like okay. I'm like, oh, it's fine. I'm so

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Speaker 1: good with balance, you know. I And I'm walking along,

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Speaker 1: walking along, and then she's like, oh, I'm getting scared.

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Speaker 1: I'm getting scared. I go, okay, let's sit down. So

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Speaker 1: I go to sit down, and as I sit down,

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Speaker 1: I lose my balance and just sucking dive right into

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Speaker 1: the sand head first into that The water was crushing,

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Speaker 1: but the sand was not you know. It wasn't high.

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Speaker 1: So I faced first into white shirt, my nipples completely exposed.

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Speaker 1: I was in jeans, completely soaked, and I look up

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Speaker 1: at my niece or she's my cousin, but she feels

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Speaker 1: like my niece. And I look up with my cousin

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Speaker 1: and she's like, I didn't do that. I didn't push you.

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Speaker 1: I was like, no, I know you didn't. I was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm drunk, and I'm like, I'm a fucking drunk. I'm

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Speaker 1: now I'm a drunk ant, Like I'm a drunk elderly

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Speaker 1: at walking around the pons to my whole family and

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Speaker 1: all they all look and go, put a fucking shirt

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Speaker 1: over your nipples, like like what happened? I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: buying the pylons. It was really humiliating, but totally classically.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, to water incidents, we should focus on water

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Speaker 1: excursions for this episode. We have a one of my

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Speaker 1: favorite peoples here today. She's the opener on my Vaccinated

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Speaker 1: in Horny tour. And if you haven't seen me on

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Speaker 1: my Vaccinated in Horny Tour, I am coming to the

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Speaker 1: Justicer Laps Montcho Comedy Festival July. I am coming to

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Speaker 1: Vancouver August twelve and Calgary August and August four. So

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Speaker 1: I have two shows in Vancouver on the twelfth, and

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Speaker 1: then the two shows in Calgary, and then after that

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Speaker 1: I have a whole new slew of dates starting in

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Speaker 1: Saratoga in October. I'm coming to all parts of Florida,

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Speaker 1: so you're welcome. Tampa, Tampa, Tampa. I have two shows

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Speaker 1: in Tampa and then a bunch of other places. Colorado Springs, Colorado.

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Speaker 1: Just go to Chelsea Hamlet. Let me introduce my opener.

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Speaker 1: She opens for me on the road from my Vaccinated

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Speaker 1: in Horny tour. She is fucking hilarious. She resides in Austin, Texas.

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Speaker 1: Please welcome Vanessa Gonzalez. Hi Vanessa. Hello. Oh hello, you

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Speaker 1: look like you're about to start a job interview. Oh yes,

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Speaker 1: I hope I get the job. You guys, this is

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Speaker 1: Vanessa Gonzalez. Have you met Vanessa yet. We talked on

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Speaker 1: the phone and she's a delight. Well you probably saw

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Speaker 1: her open for me at the war I did. It

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Speaker 1: was so much fun. Yeah, those were great show. We've

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Speaker 1: been having a lot of great shows. Vanessa has been

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Speaker 1: on the road with me for the most part, for

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Speaker 1: most of my Vaccinated in Horny tour. Every once in

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Speaker 1: a while we have to replace her because of her attitude,

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Speaker 1: or she has an improper sexual relationship with one of

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Speaker 1: our representatives from Live Nation, So that's been a big

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Speaker 1: thorn in our side because she doesn't understand the moment

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Speaker 1: we're living in. And he reported her because he's a

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Speaker 1: white male and he was being sexually harassed by her.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's hard to navigate the entertainment business. His

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Speaker 1: name is Brandon book Are in case anyone needs to

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Speaker 1: look him up. We have a guy that runs our

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Speaker 1: tour for us, and I say run in very loose

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Speaker 1: terms because because he's not running fucking anything, and there

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Speaker 1: are more mistakes than there are victory laps. But he

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Speaker 1: loves the greatest thing about Brandon is well a, we

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Speaker 1: love Brandon, but he's such a good sport about us

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Speaker 1: making so much fun of him because he is just

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Speaker 1: kind of a middle aged white guy and he thinks

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Speaker 1: he's with it and he's not with it. He spelled

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Speaker 1: Vanessa's last name wrong for the better part of six

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Speaker 1: months so excellently. It's pretty common. Yeah, he's figuring it out.

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Speaker 1: It's it's hard, it's hard. His job is hard. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: for him, it is right, Okay. I would like to

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Speaker 1: also mention that Vanessa was recently named one of Variety's

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Speaker 1: top ten comics to watch out for, So big congratulations

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Speaker 1: on that, Vanessa well deserved. Oh, thank you so much. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's it's been wild. It's been a wild ride this year.

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Speaker 1: So fun. So Vanessa is based out of Austin, and

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Speaker 1: I found her through the woman who runs my production

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Speaker 1: company named Jackie Sosa. She knew of Vanessa and I

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Speaker 1: was looking for women to open from me, and so

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Speaker 1: she sent me Vanessa's info and then I started stalking

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Speaker 1: her online and she and then we've had some pretty

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Speaker 1: exciting times. We've had some long journeys. Do you know

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Speaker 1: how much that live word journey we've had. We have

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Speaker 1: different modes of operative transportation at all times. Sometimes we

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Speaker 1: take a scooter bus. Sometimes we take a what are

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Speaker 1: they called vans or no. Sometimes I'm like, these spreater

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Speaker 1: vans could be really nice. Actually they have, they have

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Speaker 1: when they have a configuration, I'm like, oh, this is nice.

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Speaker 1: So we've taken a tour bus, we've taken planes, we've

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Speaker 1: taken commercial plans, we've taken private planes. We've taken helicopter.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, we haven't taken a helicopter. Well, you missed out.

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Speaker 1: We took a helicopter last week in the the New York

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Speaker 1: City and Rosebud almost climax, although I did too. I

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Speaker 1: gotta say, you guys, that helicopter ride, flying it in

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Speaker 1: New York City at night. Manhattan we got back at

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Speaker 1: like you know, midnight at moon was this beautiful orange

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Speaker 1: birth and we were just driving. Flying into that city

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Speaker 1: is like one of the most spectacular things ever. It's

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Speaker 1: like flying into Paris, Yeah, because it's so low enough

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Speaker 1: that you could see all the streets in the movement

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Speaker 1: and what's going on. You know, when all the avenues

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Speaker 1: and the city lit up at night with the moon

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Speaker 1: was just so beautiful. We were all just like, oh,

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Speaker 1: that's cool. I'd be too scared. Yeah, I think so

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Speaker 1: too about a helicopter. I don't know. I guess who

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Speaker 1: was scared, Vanessa Brandon, that's right, Brandon scared me. And

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Speaker 1: Brandon gets scared of the planes and flying things. Yea,

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Speaker 1: the heights. So Vanessa is from a family of three.

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Speaker 1: She has two brothers, right, and she has a boyfriend

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Speaker 1: who's adorable and Yeah, his name is Daniel and she's

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Speaker 1: based out of Austin. So tell us a little bit

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Speaker 1: about because you were in l A and then you

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Speaker 1: moved to Austin during the pandemic, and what's it been

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Speaker 1: like to be in Austin during this time. It's different now.

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Speaker 1: I feel like Austin is very much many l A

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Speaker 1: now and it's changed. I know, I know, it's huge.

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Speaker 1: People are moving here to do comedy now. It changed

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Speaker 1: so much like I was in l A. And just

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Speaker 1: in those two years, Austin changed. And during the pandemic

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Speaker 1: when there was a pandemic, there was no pandemic really

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Speaker 1: in Texas, so shows kept going, theaters were closing opening,

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Speaker 1: clubs were closing opening, And yeah, it's like the scene

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Speaker 1: got bigger during a pandemic somehow. Yeah. I know a

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Speaker 1: lot of people that moved either to Nashville or to Austin.

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Speaker 1: Like half of l A went just mostly to avoid taxes, right,

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Speaker 1: isn't that then everyone's primary goal? Yeah, we don't pay

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Speaker 1: taxes here, just like I don't pay. But how do

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Speaker 1: you I want you to talk a little bit about,

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Speaker 1: like do you also just got voted Austin's number one

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Speaker 1: Comedian of the Year didn't do yeah, which is great

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Speaker 1: for this burgeoning comedy mecca. You know, this is becoming

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Speaker 1: like the new comedy place next to l A or

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Speaker 1: New York. Well, New York is probably number one, right,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what's the number one? Yeah, probably, but yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was voted through the Austin Chronicle. That caught me

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Speaker 1: off guard. I didn't even know people knew that I,

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Speaker 1: you know, was back here, but they know I have stalkers,

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Speaker 1: and um, yeah, it's that. That was really special because

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Speaker 1: you know, going to l A and making that jump

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Speaker 1: and then coming back and it was hard. It's been

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Speaker 1: hard to kind of navigate, like, am I, you know,

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Speaker 1: still in the business, staying connected and all that after

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Speaker 1: making such a big move and coming back home. So

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Speaker 1: it's a mental lot that even moving back stuff still yeah, stuff,

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Speaker 1: I'm still happening for you. And she also has she

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Speaker 1: has her own rider at the shows because I, I

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Speaker 1: told Brandon, the person we're talking about, you know, I

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Speaker 1: have a rider in mine, which is basically like a

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Speaker 1: cheese board, and somehow a charcuterie board got on there too.

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Speaker 1: But I don't really eat that much meat anymore, so

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Speaker 1: I told him to exnate the charcouder board and then

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Speaker 1: he just put it in Vanessa's room. So now she

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Speaker 1: gets a charcuterie board. So this past weekend, the last

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Speaker 1: weekend when we had Rosebud, Vanessa Rosebud's like, holy sh it,

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Speaker 1: I can't believe you got a charcuterie board. Every single night,

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Speaker 1: She's like, I've got to put that in my rider.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, listen, bit, if you can take this charcudrii

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Speaker 1: board and stretch it out for over the next two years,

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Speaker 1: because that's how long it will last. What a waste

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Speaker 1: of meat. I know they're huge, I know, but Vanessa

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Speaker 1: likes her snack packs. She likes to travel with a

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Speaker 1: little like like you know those ladies at Dodger Stadium

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Speaker 1: that come up with little trays of candy. That's how

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Speaker 1: Vanessa leaves every theater. She takes her tray what's in

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Speaker 1: her green room and sometimes what's in my green room,

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Speaker 1: and then we get on our little transportation bus and

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Speaker 1: depending on how long the ride is and how high

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Speaker 1: I am at that point, we also share edibles because

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Speaker 1: Vanessa has motion sickness. I don't know, but anyway, for her, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: for me, they always come in handy. When we're super

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Speaker 1: high after the show, there's no food, it's like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: just have three packs of chips, right, just have that?

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Speaker 1: And if I asked her four chips, she will sometimes

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Speaker 1: be annoyed with me. She will sometimes saying how many

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Speaker 1: are you going to have? And I mean, this is

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Speaker 1: the second bag and are you going to reimburse me

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Speaker 1: for days? So she's pretty tough stuff to deal with. Well,

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Speaker 1: because you're you're shipping on my snack bag the whole time,

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Speaker 1: I know, and you're like, well, let me let me

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Speaker 1: see what you got. Yeah, and then I'm a hypocrite.

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Speaker 1: What's been your one some of your favorite places to

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Speaker 1: go on tour, like would have been the most surprising

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Speaker 1: cities or your favorites? Well, I we had so much

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Speaker 1: fun in Kansas City. Those were great shows, and just

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Speaker 1: the fact that we were there for two nights, which

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Speaker 1: is rare, we got to like really have fun and

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Speaker 1: and yeah, it's the back to back shows is hard,

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Speaker 1: but those are fun. Nashville was a blast. Yeah, Nashville

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Speaker 1: was fun. Kansas City was fun because also we we

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Speaker 1: stayed in the same hotel for two nights. Like she said,

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Speaker 1: which is always just such a nice break, like because

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Speaker 1: you're always traveling and going either you leave right after

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Speaker 1: the show or in the first thing in the morning,

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Speaker 1: and it's always exhausting no matter how you slice it.

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Speaker 1: But in Kansas City, we were there for two nights

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Speaker 1: and I had one of these ridiculous hotel rooms that

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Speaker 1: had about eighteen different boardrooms in it, and we ordered

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Speaker 1: late night food. My assistant Carla ordered us this huge spread,

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Speaker 1: so we all went upstairs and ate after the show. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that was so fun. Our pizza party was great. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Nashville was fun. Anytime we have like an after party

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Speaker 1: or we're able to have an after party after shows

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Speaker 1: has been really fun. And she has friends. You have

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Speaker 1: friends all around the country that I've been able to

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Speaker 1: kind of come like San Jose, l A and different shows. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: her friends show up, which is always really fun because

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Speaker 1: it's really nice to see your friends get to see you,

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Speaker 1: you know before. I love that. Yeah, it has been

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Speaker 1: just a nice way for me to visit all my

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Speaker 1: friends while I work. Yeah, and you get to like

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Speaker 1: be like be fabulous and hilarious and they get to

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Speaker 1: come see you. I was curious if there's anything unexpected

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Speaker 1: that's happened on tour. Well, the wildest thing is when

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Speaker 1: I forget was it Salt Lake City or one show

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Speaker 1: where two people drunk? People like stop the show. And

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Speaker 1: I had never seen anything like that before. I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know, I've had drunk audience members, but it's always

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Speaker 1: like one. But this was very like two separate times,

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Speaker 1: and that that was bizarre. Yeah, somebody approached the stage.

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Speaker 1: They were obviously both really really wasted, and for some reason,

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Speaker 1: our security was beefed up at that show. That's exactly

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Speaker 1: what the problem was. And they this woman just came

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Speaker 1: out and they were both harmless, but it was just

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Speaker 1: like one was wasted talking about you know something, and

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Speaker 1: another guy was naked, took a shirt off and came up.

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Speaker 1: He's like, Chelsea, I love you so much. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: well that's great, but you're sucking interrupting everybody else's time

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Speaker 1: right now? Right? Yeah. You handled them like a pro.

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Speaker 1: Everything was fine, but I had never seen like people

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Speaker 1: be like, this is my shot. I gotta I gotta

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Speaker 1: talk to her while she's mid sentence. Yeah, this wild.

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Speaker 1: Don't do that if you're listening. If we don't like it.

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Speaker 1: And when I was at the l A show. We

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Speaker 1: were we were upstairs in the messanie and there was

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Speaker 1: a woman in front of me. I was get like

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Speaker 1: a little scared of heights meanie, this woman who was

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Speaker 1: not drunk, like I'm pretty sure she was stone called

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Speaker 1: sober or mostly sober. She came back in the middle

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Speaker 1: of the show with a drink and she like lost

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Speaker 1: her footing. She was kind of in front of but

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Speaker 1: she like slipped on a stair and like like down

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Speaker 1: several stairs, which for me, just from the heights perspective,

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Speaker 1: was like, it's my worst fear. Like she did not

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Speaker 1: spell her drink, which is why I think she was

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Speaker 1: not super drunk. But I like that. I like the

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Speaker 1: term mostly sober, and I'm gonna start incorporating that into

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Speaker 1: my repertoire. What I also would like to add is,

425
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:23,680
Speaker 1: I don't know if I said this on this podcast yet,

426
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:26,680
Speaker 1: but there was a woman I forget which city we're

427
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:28,800
Speaker 1: in where they went to stand up and then just

428
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:33,080
Speaker 1: rolled down. Oh yeah, they rolled down the center aisle.

429
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,399
Speaker 1: So they were so wasted that they fell over and

430
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,240
Speaker 1: then started their person started rolling and I was in

431
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,040
Speaker 1: the middle of it. And at this point I think

432
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:42,760
Speaker 1: they were already had. I think it might have been

433
00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 1: the same show you were talking about. It definitely wasn't

434
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:48,080
Speaker 1: Salt Lake because that's a dry venue, so nobody could

435
00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:54,040
Speaker 1: it was. It was maybe Cedar Rapids or something. And

436
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,480
Speaker 1: and I saw a person rolling down the aisland. I thought,

437
00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:58,879
Speaker 1: am I gonna draw attention to this right now? Or

438
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,800
Speaker 1: fucking finish my at because if I draw attention to

439
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,320
Speaker 1: this woman that is rolling down the aisle, it's going

440
00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:07,600
Speaker 1: to be Bayham and then we're setting ourselves back fifteen

441
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:10,600
Speaker 1: minutes and then you know, and then we're embarrassing the

442
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,280
Speaker 1: ship out of her on top of it. And I've

443
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,240
Speaker 1: after rolling down an aisle? Do you really need to

444
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:16,399
Speaker 1: be called out by the comedian you're there to see?

445
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,119
Speaker 1: It was? It was me? I haven't told you but

446
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:25,159
Speaker 1: that that was me. No. I will say something that

447
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 1: has also been surprising in a good way is like

448
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:32,959
Speaker 1: how awesome Chelsea's like audience have been towards me, like

449
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:37,520
Speaker 1: super welcoming, super warm, great, and you know, it's intimidating,

450
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 1: like they don't know who I am or I don't

451
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:43,400
Speaker 1: you know, they're just like, where's Chelsea? But they've they'll

452
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,399
Speaker 1: say my name announced me, and everyone's like, whoa, yeah,

453
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 1: oh yeah they love her, Yeah, they love you. They've

454
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:54,800
Speaker 1: been so great and that's that's been great. Well, I Chelsea,

455
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,800
Speaker 1: you have such a track record of supporting other women

456
00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:01,680
Speaker 1: but also like picking real a cool women to be around.

457
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:04,240
Speaker 1: You know, like like there are so many people who

458
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:06,679
Speaker 1: you know, maybe earlier on in your career you worked

459
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:09,199
Speaker 1: with who maybe you gave a hand to, but like

460
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:11,760
Speaker 1: now they are superstars and you know, I said, I

461
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 1: think you have a good track writer of having a

462
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,720
Speaker 1: good picker. Thank you. Well, I think it's pretty obvious

463
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,480
Speaker 1: to spot talent, like or you know, when somebody is funny,

464
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:21,640
Speaker 1: all you want to do is make somebody make you laugh.

465
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:23,159
Speaker 1: If they make you laugh, you know they're gonna make

466
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 1: a million other people laugh too. So I mean, Vans

467
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:30,680
Speaker 1: is easy to spot. That's very obvious talent. Now it's

468
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:34,480
Speaker 1: thank you. And every every time I like people ask

469
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:36,520
Speaker 1: me like, what's it like on tour, I'm just like,

470
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:41,639
Speaker 1: it's one fun too. It's just been so inspiring to

471
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:44,280
Speaker 1: be around you and the way you lift people up

472
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:48,640
Speaker 1: and me and I've opened for men and mostly men,

473
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:53,720
Speaker 1: and it doesn't feel like they want to support or

474
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:56,440
Speaker 1: you know root for you or even if you kill

475
00:25:56,560 --> 00:26:00,399
Speaker 1: right before them, it feels weird. There's a vibe. Oh no,

476
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:03,840
Speaker 1: they're upset. And with Chelsea, it's like, you know, she's

477
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,040
Speaker 1: there to high five me every time I get off

478
00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:10,199
Speaker 1: stage and hug me, and it's just I feel like

479
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:14,919
Speaker 1: it's helped me just become more confident and more just

480
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:20,119
Speaker 1: like a badass, a badass bitch. It's contagious. Ah, that's awesome.

481
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:23,760
Speaker 1: I love that. Well, that's good because we're roping you

482
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 1: in to give advice too, because I feel like you'd

483
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,480
Speaker 1: be good at giving advice to strangers as well. And

484
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:30,679
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, why then has Vanessa bit on

485
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:35,480
Speaker 1: this podcast? Yeah, I'm ready. Yes, Well, we have some

486
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:37,520
Speaker 1: very exciting ones for you today. But we're going to

487
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:39,800
Speaker 1: take a quick break and we'll be right back with

488
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:48,919
Speaker 1: Vanessa Gonzalez and Chelsea. And we're back with Vanessa Gonzalez

489
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:54,119
Speaker 1: and Catherine. Well. Our first question, and this is an email,

490
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:58,160
Speaker 1: comes from Heidi. Heidi says, Dear Chelsea, I'm twenty three

491
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,480
Speaker 1: years old and I've been seriously considered and getting my

492
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:06,639
Speaker 1: tubes tied. I have no desire to do it. You

493
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 1: don't even have to finish. Now you're doing the world

494
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:13,520
Speaker 1: the favor. You're not contributing to mass population. Well, there

495
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:17,560
Speaker 1: you go, She says, I have no desire to birth

496
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:19,399
Speaker 1: a child, and I know I would like to foster

497
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 1: children when I'm stable enough to do so. I'm still young,

498
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:24,840
Speaker 1: and this is a big decision. Am I too young

499
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:27,480
Speaker 1: to decide? I never want to birth children? Should I

500
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:30,359
Speaker 1: wait until I'm older? If so, when is a good age.

501
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 1: I have four years left on this I U D

502
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:34,320
Speaker 1: so I can wait until it expires. But I like

503
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,880
Speaker 1: making decisions and acting on them. What are your thoughts.

504
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,800
Speaker 1: I also considered donating my eggs first, but got denied

505
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 1: for having too high of a b M. I, so

506
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:44,280
Speaker 1: that really isn't an option for me, thanks Heidi to

507
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:48,359
Speaker 1: a body mass index, which is really dated technology. But

508
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:50,240
Speaker 1: but what is it you? What does that mean? You're

509
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 1: too heavy to donate? Yeah? Oh god, they're picky. Huh

510
00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:01,040
Speaker 1: who has the right to be picky? I would say eggs, Yeah,

511
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:05,440
Speaker 1: I know, good eggs are good eggs. I would say,

512
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:07,639
Speaker 1: if you have it, what's her name? Heidi? Heidi? If

513
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:09,439
Speaker 1: you have an I U D in and you have

514
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:11,879
Speaker 1: a couple of years left on it, there's no reason

515
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:14,520
Speaker 1: to rush into getting your tubes tied. I mean, I

516
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:17,639
Speaker 1: know that is reverse. Is it reversible? So yeah, I

517
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:21,800
Speaker 1: look this up. Is technically reversible, but the reversal doesn't

518
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:25,520
Speaker 1: always take Yeah, Like you don't need to jump into that. Like,

519
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:28,240
Speaker 1: I appreciate your I'm like that too. I'm impulsive and

520
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:30,199
Speaker 1: I'd like to make decisions and get moving into the

521
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:33,040
Speaker 1: next thing and also cancel out possibilities that are not

522
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:35,880
Speaker 1: real possibilities in my mind, which would be having children.

523
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 1: And I support that fully, But there's no reason to

524
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 1: like expedite the process. Why don't you wait till your

525
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 1: I U. D Is done and then get your tubes tied?

526
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:46,360
Speaker 1: If you feel the same way, Yeah, yeah, I think

527
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 1: that's smart. I mean I feel like I've always known

528
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:52,720
Speaker 1: also that I don't want to berth a child or

529
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:55,960
Speaker 1: be pregnant, but I feel the same way as her, like, yeah,

530
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:58,920
Speaker 1: maybe I'd like to foster kids or adopt later on,

531
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 1: and that's what we is going to be open to you.

532
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:04,959
Speaker 1: So whenever you do it, it's I think you know,

533
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:09,720
Speaker 1: when you know you don't want to go through being pregnant. Yeah,

534
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:11,880
Speaker 1: they should come up with a phrase for it like

535
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,000
Speaker 1: you know how they say your clock is ticking, which

536
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,600
Speaker 1: is you know, passe and old school, but like they

537
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 1: should come up with a new phrase for how you

538
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:19,840
Speaker 1: know when you know that you don't want to have

539
00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 1: a child. Like I've never been on the fence about that.

540
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,320
Speaker 1: I've known in you know, in my gut and my

541
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 1: soul that that is not what is meant for me. Yeah,

542
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,880
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, I think most people know. I feel

543
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 1: like I knew early on, and then as I got older,

544
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:38,200
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, maybe you know everyone's telling you

545
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:39,920
Speaker 1: you should have a baby. When are you gonna have

546
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:42,640
Speaker 1: a baby? So then that foks with you, but your

547
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 1: your heart always knows I don't think it's for me.

548
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,280
Speaker 1: And now I'm thirty six and I'm like, yeah, I

549
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:52,440
Speaker 1: don't want to do that. Please know, I would say,

550
00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:54,479
Speaker 1: if you're going to pick an age in the future,

551
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:58,160
Speaker 1: beyond just letting this run out. When I was younger

552
00:29:58,200 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 1: and I was like, I never want kids and everyone

553
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:02,000
Speaker 1: can it's I had a couple of friends tell me

554
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 1: wait until you're twenty nine. The second I turned twenty nine,

555
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:09,959
Speaker 1: I had like raging hormones of like I want a baby,

556
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:12,480
Speaker 1: But I also knew that I didn't actually, so I

557
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:15,040
Speaker 1: got a dog and used my like mothering instincts that

558
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:18,720
Speaker 1: way and it was perfect. But just wait until you're thirty.

559
00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:20,480
Speaker 1: If you don't get that by twenty nine, I don't

560
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:23,160
Speaker 1: think you're going to get it. Yeah, if it costs

561
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 1: a lot, yeah go on a trip, use it for

562
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 1: something else for now. But but as I have a

563
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:32,200
Speaker 1: question for you, if Daniel really really had his heart

564
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:34,840
Speaker 1: set on having a child, would you reconsider your stance?

565
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:40,200
Speaker 1: And I would say, let's adopt, or let's figure out

566
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:43,400
Speaker 1: where we can put your sperm because I don't want it.

567
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:49,719
Speaker 1: I don't want a person inside me with their whole body. No,

568
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:53,280
Speaker 1: And what particularly about so it sounds like it's more

569
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:56,080
Speaker 1: of a physical thing for you though, Like what is

570
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:58,400
Speaker 1: it about it that turns you off so much? Somebody's

571
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:02,560
Speaker 1: like living off of your food? I don't like. I

572
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:07,880
Speaker 1: don't want to share. No. I've always had really bad

573
00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:13,360
Speaker 1: periods a my life, like super painful and motion sickness

574
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:16,080
Speaker 1: and all, and I'm like, if this, if it's bad now,

575
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:20,239
Speaker 1: I can't imagine what a pregnancy would do to my

576
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:24,120
Speaker 1: body and how awful I would be as a human.

577
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 1: So I think everything in my heart and soul is

578
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:34,080
Speaker 1: just like, don't do that to us please. Yeah. Yeah, well, Heidi,

579
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 1: let us know what you to side, Yeah, Heidi, let

580
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:38,040
Speaker 1: us know what you decide, and just take a minute.

581
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:39,680
Speaker 1: You're only twenty three years old. You don't know if

582
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:44,160
Speaker 1: you know you're asked from your elbow yet. Ye. Yeah. Also, Vanessa,

583
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:47,040
Speaker 1: I would say I always had really really terrible periods

584
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 1: as well. We'll still do. But was finally, after like

585
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:54,720
Speaker 1: seven or eight years of investigating this and talking to doctors,

586
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 1: finally someone was like, yes, you have endometriosis. That's what

587
00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:00,720
Speaker 1: this is. That's what's going on. And they also were

588
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 1: just like, if you're not trying to have a kid, like,

589
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:06,320
Speaker 1: we'll just keep you on birth control the entire time

590
00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:08,640
Speaker 1: so you don't have your week off. So that might

591
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:11,880
Speaker 1: be something to investigate for you too. Oh yes, I

592
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:14,640
Speaker 1: just went and that. They told me that as well,

593
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:19,080
Speaker 1: and I started a new birth control, but I didn't

594
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,520
Speaker 1: like it. So now I'm in the process of finding

595
00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:24,960
Speaker 1: the one, which takes a while. You know what, you

596
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:27,440
Speaker 1: can also get done, Vanessa. I mean, I don't know

597
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:29,360
Speaker 1: if you can get this done in Texas, because it

598
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:32,080
Speaker 1: seems like a lot of things are restricted there, but

599
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:34,880
Speaker 1: you can get an ablazon, which is what my sister

600
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:38,400
Speaker 1: Simone got because she had really heavy periods, and so

601
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:41,520
Speaker 1: it basically blanches your uterus. They go in with hot

602
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:46,520
Speaker 1: water or the other option is I forget there's hot water.

603
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:47,880
Speaker 1: There's one way to do it as hot water. I'm

604
00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:49,840
Speaker 1: actually scheduled to get one. I'm going to right after

605
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:52,720
Speaker 1: this podcast today to go see me. My period isn't

606
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 1: that bad, but it would just be elective because I'd

607
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:57,760
Speaker 1: rather not have a period anymore. But for people who

608
00:32:57,840 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 1: have really heavy periods, my sister Simone did it and

609
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:02,479
Speaker 1: called an ablagon, and you should ask your doctor about it,

610
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:06,320
Speaker 1: because anybody who has endometriosis or hows a heavy period

611
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:09,640
Speaker 1: is a candidate for it. And for like when you

612
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 1: are like ready to be done having periods or it

613
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:15,360
Speaker 1: basically well no, you can basically stop. So it just

614
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:17,760
Speaker 1: stops the bleeding, you know, so you don't you get

615
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:21,360
Speaker 1: the hormones continue, but you don't have the bleeding which

616
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:23,480
Speaker 1: goes with the cramping and with all of that stuff.

617
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:26,600
Speaker 1: So it just stops your In most of women, it

618
00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:29,480
Speaker 1: stops their period altogether. And then ten percent of women

619
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 1: your period is just much lighter for the rest of

620
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 1: your life. But it's something that a lot of women

621
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:37,320
Speaker 1: are doing, because I've talked to a few people about it. Now, yeah,

622
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:41,040
Speaker 1: I look into that. That sounds nice. And if Texas

623
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:44,560
Speaker 1: won't even let me torch my uterus, then I got

624
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:47,600
Speaker 1: to get out of here. I know. Well, yeah, they

625
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:49,760
Speaker 1: they're in control of your uterus. What I'll do is

626
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:52,480
Speaker 1: I'll video tape my doctor's appointment today with my O

627
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 1: B G Y N and I will just we I'll

628
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:58,160
Speaker 1: live stream it and then that will have access to it. Yeah,

629
00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:03,040
Speaker 1: and thank you of course. Well. Our next question comes

630
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:06,800
Speaker 1: from Mary. She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm newly recovered from

631
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:09,799
Speaker 1: a severe depressive episode that lasted for over a year,

632
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:12,480
Speaker 1: primarily due to the passing of my dad in December.

633
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:16,239
Speaker 1: He died from contracting COVID nineteen while he was in

634
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:19,920
Speaker 1: the hospital for a separate injury. His death broke my heart,

635
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:22,480
Speaker 1: and once my shock war off, I fell into a

636
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:26,239
Speaker 1: deep depression. I finally realized I needed professional help when

637
00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:28,480
Speaker 1: I confessed to my mom I was having passive thoughts

638
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:31,440
Speaker 1: of suicide. I took a leave of absence from my

639
00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:34,440
Speaker 1: job and focused only on my well being. I began

640
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:37,000
Speaker 1: talk therapy sessions multiple times a week and saw a

641
00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:40,400
Speaker 1: psychiatrist to manage my medications. I only did things that

642
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:42,279
Speaker 1: I wanted to do and practiced a lot of self

643
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:44,200
Speaker 1: care during that time, and now I'm at a place

644
00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:46,400
Speaker 1: where I have hope and excitement for the future. Again.

645
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 1: I learned that my sensitivity isn't a weakness, nor is

646
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:53,840
Speaker 1: my capability to feel for others one. That in fact,

647
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:56,680
Speaker 1: my intuition and ability to understand others as a gift.

648
00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:59,920
Speaker 1: I also began to explore spirituality and started to meditate.

649
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 1: I have since returned to my job, and while I'm

650
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:04,799
Speaker 1: so grateful for my co workers and their support, I

651
00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:07,960
Speaker 1: haven't been happy since I've been back. I feel appolling

652
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 1: to a new career and I'm thinking about going back

653
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:12,960
Speaker 1: to school to be a counselor or therapist. Even my

654
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:16,240
Speaker 1: own therapist told me I would make a great one. However,

655
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:18,239
Speaker 1: I grew up in a low income household and the

656
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:20,680
Speaker 1: thought of increasing my debt by tens of thousands of

657
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:23,680
Speaker 1: dollars it makes me ill. Chelsea. My question for you

658
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:25,759
Speaker 1: is should I go back to school and take on

659
00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:28,200
Speaker 1: thousands of dollars more debt for a career that doesn't

660
00:35:28,239 --> 00:35:30,359
Speaker 1: quite pay out. Is there another way I could use

661
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:33,840
Speaker 1: my gifts that I'm not thinking of? Any suggestions are welcome.

662
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 1: Mary Hi, Mary, Hi, Hi. Hilsey. Okay, So you're not

663
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 1: into your job anymore after everything you've been through, your

664
00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:47,600
Speaker 1: your back and you're not feeling it. M Yeah, pretty much.

665
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:51,760
Speaker 1: I was in a pretty dark, deep, severe depression for

666
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:56,960
Speaker 1: most of one and I took some time off of

667
00:35:57,000 --> 00:36:00,239
Speaker 1: work was able to really work on myself. The therapy

668
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:03,600
Speaker 1: really just like get my prescription medsal set and I

669
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:06,880
Speaker 1: came back to my job and like, I'm so thankful

670
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 1: for my company and my coworkers. Everyone's been so great,

671
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:13,840
Speaker 1: but like I just don't care anymore. And it's like,

672
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:17,400
Speaker 1: you know, I'm getting pressured because like our company only

673
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:20,320
Speaker 1: made like eight billion dollars less here instead of nine

674
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:23,319
Speaker 1: and all this other stuff happening in the world, and

675
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:26,239
Speaker 1: I really feel like I'm being called or like that

676
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:29,279
Speaker 1: I need to do something more. But I don't know

677
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:31,560
Speaker 1: if that's just because I'm new out of depression of

678
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:34,440
Speaker 1: feeling great about life, or or you know, what I

679
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:37,520
Speaker 1: really could do to move forward. Yeah, I would say,

680
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:40,480
Speaker 1: first and foremost I think your mental health is paramount

681
00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 1: to everything else that's you're talking about, even your job

682
00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:45,880
Speaker 1: and even debt. And I think that there are a

683
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:48,799
Speaker 1: lot of avenues to pursue. None that I actually know

684
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:50,759
Speaker 1: of and can speak to because I haven't gone back

685
00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:53,000
Speaker 1: to school, but I we have had this conversation with

686
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:55,839
Speaker 1: callers before, and there are so many ways to get

687
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 1: financial aid, to receive grants, to get help with tuition.

688
00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:01,960
Speaker 1: So the first and foremost you have to know, like

689
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:04,200
Speaker 1: you don't have to be tens of thousands of dollars

690
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:05,680
Speaker 1: in debt, Like you don't have to equate that with

691
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:08,400
Speaker 1: an education. There are ways around that, Like would it

692
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:10,520
Speaker 1: be possible for you to start going to school while

693
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:12,880
Speaker 1: you're still working to kind of support yourself to a

694
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:16,879
Speaker 1: degree while you're figuring everything out. Is that a possibility? Yeah,

695
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:19,880
Speaker 1: that is a possibility. And like something I've worked or

696
00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:22,799
Speaker 1: I've thought about. I think with the like growing up

697
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:26,120
Speaker 1: with in a lower income family situation, debt and like

698
00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 1: picking on more of it is like really scary to

699
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:31,960
Speaker 1: think about. So that's kind of what holds me back,

700
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,520
Speaker 1: to be honest, But I think I'm supposed to distrust

701
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:38,640
Speaker 1: and not worry about the financial aspect, but that's just

702
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:40,960
Speaker 1: so hard when it's like, well, I grew up with

703
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:46,320
Speaker 1: no money and that did suck. That's where I'm at. Yeah,

704
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:50,040
Speaker 1: that's hard, especially you said you wanted to look into

705
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:55,480
Speaker 1: being a therapist or counselor now. Yeah. Yeah, And I'm like,

706
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 1: I just watched this documentary of this woman who just

707
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 1: puts out videos on YouTube about like spirituality or whatever.

708
00:38:03,719 --> 00:38:10,400
Speaker 1: It turns out she's running a cult. But yeah, you

709
00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:13,640
Speaker 1: could just you know, if if that's your passion, like

710
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:18,240
Speaker 1: giving people advice and helping people there there is a way,

711
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:21,319
Speaker 1: I think now with social media and getting yourself out there.

712
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 1: But I think, yeah, the education part coustom money unless

713
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:32,080
Speaker 1: you're just educated on YouTube like me. I wasn't gonna

714
00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:33,759
Speaker 1: get to bring this up. But it's interesting than us

715
00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:36,040
Speaker 1: so that you say that, because I actually had a

716
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:39,400
Speaker 1: carrot card reading last week and the reader kind of

717
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 1: gave me the same message. She said that there are

718
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 1: ways to reach people, even just like sharing her stories.

719
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:47,400
Speaker 1: She's like, there's so many media outlets are like revenues

720
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:50,360
Speaker 1: to you. So so you're kind of like confirming what

721
00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:54,520
Speaker 1: she's already said. So yeah, and I think if it

722
00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:57,799
Speaker 1: is a social media thing, a YouTube thing, TikTok thing.

723
00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:01,759
Speaker 1: I think that also connects you with people that can

724
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:06,240
Speaker 1: teach you and interview and all that stuff. Yeah, for sure.

725
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:08,560
Speaker 1: And so you said there is a way though also

726
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:10,640
Speaker 1: that you could go to school while still working at

727
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:14,640
Speaker 1: your job, right, yeah I could. I mean, I'm single,

728
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 1: I don't have children, so like I do have the

729
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:20,200
Speaker 1: free time. School would be okay. I do take writing

730
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:24,160
Speaker 1: classes for fun because I like to be creative and that's,

731
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:26,160
Speaker 1: you know, my outlet, So like I could take a

732
00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:29,360
Speaker 1: break on the classes. There is a school that really

733
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:31,600
Speaker 1: close by that I could go to in person, and

734
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:35,560
Speaker 1: so you know that is an option as far as viability. Yeah,

735
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:37,799
Speaker 1: I think you should pursue that. I think that, like

736
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:40,520
Speaker 1: you came out of this depression in this really hard time,

737
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:42,880
Speaker 1: and like you have to be in tune with yourself

738
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:45,680
Speaker 1: and in touch with what makes you happy. And identifying

739
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,200
Speaker 1: that your workplace isn't bringing that joy for you anymore

740
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 1: is major. Like so many people are in denial of

741
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:53,279
Speaker 1: their own feelings. So it's so important that you're in

742
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:56,200
Speaker 1: touch with yourself enough to know that and just start

743
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:59,120
Speaker 1: by doing those switch out those writing classes for these

744
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:02,920
Speaker 1: counseling class is are pursuing something that equates to what

745
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,680
Speaker 1: you see yourself doing in the therapy or counseling world.

746
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:08,279
Speaker 1: And when you get far enough along, you know, if

747
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:10,600
Speaker 1: you're still working, you can supplement that you're not going

748
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:13,359
Speaker 1: to go into huge debt. I understand fear of debt.

749
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:15,439
Speaker 1: I get that. I mean, I didn't grow up poor,

750
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:18,160
Speaker 1: but I didn't grow up with any extra money. You know,

751
00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 1: it was just kind of like, let's see what we

752
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:23,600
Speaker 1: have this week. But I get it, and I understand

753
00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:25,960
Speaker 1: that it's a big fear. But like, don't let your

754
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:29,640
Speaker 1: fear drive your future. You know, your happiness is so

755
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,279
Speaker 1: important to you, and what you can do with that

756
00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:34,960
Speaker 1: and share with other people and light up other people

757
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:37,239
Speaker 1: is just you just have to keep your eye on

758
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:39,719
Speaker 1: that prize. You know you're gonna be able to help

759
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:43,240
Speaker 1: other people. And whether that's through YouTube or social media

760
00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:45,960
Speaker 1: or whether you do it formally, it's never gonna hurt

761
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 1: for you to just get closer to your goals and

762
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:50,120
Speaker 1: learn more about you know, what it is you want

763
00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:52,360
Speaker 1: to achieve, and then figure out how you're going to

764
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:58,000
Speaker 1: implement all of that. Okay, Also, like volunteering, you know,

765
00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:02,160
Speaker 1: you know, women shelters or things like that that keeps

766
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 1: you connecting with people, which seems like that's what you love. Yeah,

767
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:09,600
Speaker 1: I do. And I love making that connection. That's sweet.

768
00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 1: That's so sweet of you. What a generous soul. Yeah,

769
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:16,000
Speaker 1: it wasn't always like that. It's I feel like I

770
00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 1: was like this when I was a child, Like I

771
00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:20,880
Speaker 1: was super kind and sweet and loving, and then you know,

772
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:25,080
Speaker 1: life happens and I, you know, went through the couple

773
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:27,040
Speaker 1: of hard years and like now I feel like I'm

774
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:28,920
Speaker 1: not I almost feel like a child again. Like I

775
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:30,800
Speaker 1: feel like, no, I want to connect to people. I

776
00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:33,319
Speaker 1: want to show them like, hey, we can we can

777
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:36,400
Speaker 1: be we can do positive things, like it can start

778
00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:39,960
Speaker 1: with one person. So yeah, I do. I I love it.

779
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:42,880
Speaker 1: I love connecting with people. So and I think what

780
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:45,600
Speaker 1: Vanessa said to about volunteering with a group might give

781
00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:47,160
Speaker 1: you a way to sort of dip your toe into

782
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:49,719
Speaker 1: the water and see if sort of being surrounded by

783
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:52,680
Speaker 1: other people's whether that's grief or other issues that they're

784
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:54,479
Speaker 1: going through, is something that you do want to take

785
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:57,400
Speaker 1: on full time, or whether that's something that is best

786
00:41:57,680 --> 00:42:00,440
Speaker 1: you know, as a volunteer possession, or that's sort of thing.

787
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:02,719
Speaker 1: But also, since you're a writer, you're probably going to

788
00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:05,359
Speaker 1: be good at writing applications for grants and things like that.

789
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:09,200
Speaker 1: Like Chelsea said, so, one book I would recommend for

790
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:12,400
Speaker 1: you too is called What Color Is Your Parachute. There's

791
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:15,360
Speaker 1: a sillion additions, so they're always coming out with new additions.

792
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 1: I believe they speak somewhat to like how to pay

793
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:21,839
Speaker 1: for school, but it's mostly about career transitions, figuring out

794
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:24,640
Speaker 1: where your skill set lies and what's right for you,

795
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:26,000
Speaker 1: and like do you really want to do that? Do

796
00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 1: you want to do something else? So that is a

797
00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:32,400
Speaker 1: good recommendation for you. I'm going to read that What

798
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:35,320
Speaker 1: Color Is Your Color is Your Parachute and then to

799
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:39,160
Speaker 1: look into that for reading. Yeah good, what you said

800
00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:41,600
Speaker 1: like an awesome person. So I'm so happy for you

801
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:44,400
Speaker 1: that you're in a better, healthy place, Like the world

802
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:46,879
Speaker 1: is ad you have the whole world at your fingertips,

803
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:50,000
Speaker 1: Like look at it that way. I really do. Like

804
00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:52,160
Speaker 1: I was at a spot where I just didn't want

805
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:55,000
Speaker 1: to live anymore and I was like making plans to

806
00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:58,600
Speaker 1: exit this life and something made me just like I

807
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:01,040
Speaker 1: actually read to my mom and like I don't think

808
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:03,719
Speaker 1: this is normal until I got to help. And now

809
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:05,520
Speaker 1: I feel like I got almost like a second chance.

810
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:09,160
Speaker 1: I'm like we can all do it. And being able

811
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,960
Speaker 1: to relate to other people that you've gone through that

812
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:17,160
Speaker 1: dark place is huge, huge, Yeah yeah, yeah, and that's

813
00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:18,560
Speaker 1: what I would want to do. Like that's what I

814
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:20,880
Speaker 1: really think is important to because like I thought I

815
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:23,759
Speaker 1: was still alone then, Like when I was in that dark,

816
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:25,920
Speaker 1: deep depression, I listened to some of me like audiobooks

817
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:27,719
Speaker 1: and like I just want to hear voices and like

818
00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:30,360
Speaker 1: Chelsea your podcast with one of them, and like I

819
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:32,360
Speaker 1: don't know, just to thank you, like just having that

820
00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:34,640
Speaker 1: like content ounce there was something that I was like, Okay,

821
00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:37,360
Speaker 1: just listen to Chelsea's book right now, and then you

822
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:39,839
Speaker 1: can make your next decision about life nothing right and

823
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:42,160
Speaker 1: think about that you can be that person to somebody

824
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:46,759
Speaker 1: else you can be that you can Yeah yeah, I know,

825
00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:52,520
Speaker 1: I guess again, Yeah, I think finding yeah, other people

826
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:56,160
Speaker 1: that have the same passion as you community, and that's

827
00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:58,719
Speaker 1: how your network and get to where you want to be.

828
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:00,960
Speaker 1: And remember, the most import thing in life is to

829
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:03,200
Speaker 1: know what your purpose is, right, to know what your

830
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:05,439
Speaker 1: passion is, what you care about the most, and you've

831
00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:08,239
Speaker 1: discovered that you're ahead of the game. Debt is not

832
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:11,600
Speaker 1: going to be your issue, right, Yeah, thank you. I

833
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:14,279
Speaker 1: needed that reminder. Thank you guys all because it's just

834
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:16,760
Speaker 1: so hard to get that off of your shoulder or whatever.

835
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:19,319
Speaker 1: But you're right. When you know your purpose, you've got

836
00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:22,640
Speaker 1: to go for it. Yeah. Well, Mary, thank you so

837
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:25,480
Speaker 1: much for calling in. Ye keep us posted, Mary, let

838
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:28,680
Speaker 1: us know what happens okay and how you're progressing. Okay.

839
00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:31,480
Speaker 1: I well, thank you guys so much so thanks meeting everyone,

840
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:39,360
Speaker 1: you too, what I feel good? Oh that was so sweet.

841
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:42,600
Speaker 1: What a positive person. We need more people like that.

842
00:44:42,719 --> 00:44:46,160
Speaker 1: You know. We have had a lot of callers lately though,

843
00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:50,240
Speaker 1: Vanessa that have wanted to become therapists, right, recurring theme,

844
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:53,200
Speaker 1: And we're very pro therapy here. Obviously we're trying to

845
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:55,160
Speaker 1: talk to the therapists ourselves, so we're not I mean,

846
00:44:55,400 --> 00:45:04,560
Speaker 1: that's what we're attracted like minded people. Yeah. Well, our

847
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:08,520
Speaker 1: next email comes from Lane. She says, Dear Chelsea, I

848
00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:11,279
Speaker 1: have a quote unquote straight friend that I've always had

849
00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:13,640
Speaker 1: a giant crush on. In the friend group, I'm the

850
00:45:13,719 --> 00:45:18,120
Speaker 1: only lesbian in the bunch, the other four being straight girls. Recently,

851
00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:20,800
Speaker 1: my crush has been talking to the group myself included

852
00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:23,759
Speaker 1: about how she doesn't see herself dating a man anytime

853
00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:26,839
Speaker 1: soon and has been more interested in dating girls, which

854
00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:29,520
Speaker 1: she's never done before. She asked if any of us

855
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:32,160
Speaker 1: know any good lesbian TV shows, so naturally, I began

856
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:34,520
Speaker 1: word vomiting all the good shows and movies that I know.

857
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:38,280
Speaker 1: Since this conversation, she's texted me separately from the group

858
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:40,719
Speaker 1: to give me updates on the show. I suggested the

859
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:43,640
Speaker 1: L word. This past weekend, the group went out to

860
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:46,400
Speaker 1: a pub crawl to celebrate my birthday. I got super

861
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:49,080
Speaker 1: drunk and basically hung out with my crush the entire time.

862
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:51,719
Speaker 1: A couple of my friends told me how obvious it

863
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:54,279
Speaker 1: is that we like each other. After we all left

864
00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:56,120
Speaker 1: the bar, I decided, fuck it, I'm going to tell

865
00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:58,960
Speaker 1: her how I feel, so I texted her basically. She

866
00:45:59,040 --> 00:46:02,080
Speaker 1: responded by telling me, I'm not saying I'm not interested,

867
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:04,360
Speaker 1: but perhaps a rain check for the future if the

868
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:07,280
Speaker 1: timing is right, Because currently I don't want to date anyone.

869
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:10,839
Speaker 1: My question is how do I tell if she or

870
00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:14,319
Speaker 1: anyone really likes me. I really put myself out there

871
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 1: and got a pretty neutral response. I'm not sure if

872
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:19,160
Speaker 1: I should read it as she's just letting me down

873
00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:21,719
Speaker 1: easily or truly just doesn't know how she feels and

874
00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:26,040
Speaker 1: isn't ready to date a girl. Thanks for your help, Lane, Okay, Lane,

875
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:28,560
Speaker 1: First of all, that is good. That feedback was good.

876
00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:31,800
Speaker 1: I feel like there's hope in that situation, right, Vanessa,

877
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:35,920
Speaker 1: do you feel that, Oh yeah, it's whatever that pause

878
00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:40,120
Speaker 1: or you know, rain check she offered that's her ship

879
00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:42,960
Speaker 1: and maybe yeah, maybe she's not ready, Maybe she wants

880
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:45,719
Speaker 1: to be single. Maybe she likes you so much that

881
00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:48,560
Speaker 1: she sees you as, oh yeah, if we get together,

882
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:51,160
Speaker 1: it's going to be a thing, and she maybe she

883
00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:54,759
Speaker 1: just wants to play around for now. But I think

884
00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:57,799
Speaker 1: for sure, if the whole group sees that, y'all are

885
00:46:57,920 --> 00:47:00,440
Speaker 1: vibe in. There's a vibe. Yeah, there's a five. And

886
00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:03,200
Speaker 1: keep in mind, she's brand new to this, like she's

887
00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:05,279
Speaker 1: not ready to get down to business. Maybe, you know,

888
00:47:05,719 --> 00:47:09,920
Speaker 1: let's get to him, let's get to she. That's our

889
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:12,520
Speaker 1: favorite song because we're forced to listen to a day

890
00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:14,799
Speaker 1: in and day out. But keep in mind, first of all,

891
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:16,840
Speaker 1: what you did is bold and cool, Like that is

892
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:18,680
Speaker 1: cool that you reached out to her, not in a

893
00:47:18,719 --> 00:47:21,319
Speaker 1: gross way. You didn't attack her or you know, in

894
00:47:21,360 --> 00:47:24,040
Speaker 1: a bathroom while you were drunk. You did it respectfully

895
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:26,759
Speaker 1: over tex after you guys left each other, which is

896
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 1: the most respectful way you can ever approach someone. She

897
00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:32,520
Speaker 1: gave you her answer so completely respected, and let you know,

898
00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:35,399
Speaker 1: let the chips fall where they may. Maybe she'll come back.

899
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:37,799
Speaker 1: I bet you she will. I bet you down the

900
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:40,080
Speaker 1: road she's going to come back, because, like Vanessa said,

901
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:43,239
Speaker 1: if the whole group saw it, it's happening and not

902
00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:46,839
Speaker 1: everybody was wrong, and there's a flirtation going. But you know,

903
00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 1: you'll know when someone likes you when they respond in kind.

904
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:53,360
Speaker 1: Don't get way late by someone's lack of response or

905
00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:57,359
Speaker 1: lack of initiative. Initiative, don't that was good what you did.

906
00:47:57,480 --> 00:47:59,480
Speaker 1: That's good to let people know how you feel and

907
00:47:59,520 --> 00:48:03,000
Speaker 1: give them the opportunity to reciprocate. You know, it doesn't

908
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:05,720
Speaker 1: matter if you get rejected. And I don't even consider

909
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:08,480
Speaker 1: that as a rejection, but it doesn't matter. It just

910
00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:11,160
Speaker 1: matters that you're honest about your feelings and you're never

911
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 1: gross or too forward about it. But yes, I think

912
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:17,799
Speaker 1: that's good practice and to continue putting your feelings out

913
00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:20,160
Speaker 1: there when you have them for somebody with this experience,

914
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:22,719
Speaker 1: you already did it. Let's see what happens. But I

915
00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:26,080
Speaker 1: do not take that as a rejection. Yeah, I think

916
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:29,480
Speaker 1: it's so refreshing, you know. I think people that are

917
00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:32,560
Speaker 1: dating all my single friends, they play that game where

918
00:48:32,760 --> 00:48:35,759
Speaker 1: you have to hide how you feel about the other

919
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:39,000
Speaker 1: person until they figure it out. And it's all codes,

920
00:48:39,080 --> 00:48:41,640
Speaker 1: and it's like just say I like you, Do you

921
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:45,000
Speaker 1: like me? No? Yes, let's move on, you know. And

922
00:48:45,040 --> 00:48:47,799
Speaker 1: that's how I knew the whole time I dated it

923
00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:50,040
Speaker 1: was I would always sell guys I like you, and

924
00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:52,520
Speaker 1: then they would play that game of like I like

925
00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:55,520
Speaker 1: you too, but you know, and I finally knew my

926
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:59,319
Speaker 1: boyfriend liked me when he made moves to like hang

927
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:01,839
Speaker 1: out with me, see me again, talk to me more.

928
00:49:02,239 --> 00:49:05,000
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, I guess this is what it

929
00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:08,799
Speaker 1: is when someone likes you. They make an effort. Yeah. Yeah,

930
00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:11,399
Speaker 1: and you're not wrangling them all the time, right, Like

931
00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:14,160
Speaker 1: when you get somebody, it's worth all of the frogs

932
00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:17,080
Speaker 1: to get to the prince. It is so just count

933
00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:18,759
Speaker 1: and if you have to think of it in your head,

934
00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:21,759
Speaker 1: like okay, here, I'm putting myself out one more time,

935
00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:23,840
Speaker 1: putting myself out there in order to get to the

936
00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:26,280
Speaker 1: real person. You can think of it like that, because

937
00:49:26,280 --> 00:49:29,360
Speaker 1: then it's like almost a means to an end, you know. Yeah,

938
00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:34,040
Speaker 1: And the hottest energy is like cool, not right now,

939
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:36,480
Speaker 1: sounds good, and then you go do your own things.

940
00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:40,320
Speaker 1: It's the hottest meeting us is the least hot things.

941
00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:42,160
Speaker 1: So if you're just like cool and then you just

942
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:44,719
Speaker 1: like go buzz off, she's going to be crawling back,

943
00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:48,080
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh yeah. And it's yeah. I think it's

944
00:49:48,120 --> 00:49:51,880
Speaker 1: different when there's a friendship established, you don't wanna be like, Okay,

945
00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:56,520
Speaker 1: we're dating. It's gonna she's gonna come around for sure,

946
00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:59,120
Speaker 1: and she knows you're around, so keep in mind. Keep

947
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:01,040
Speaker 1: that in mind too. She knows you're abound. You guys

948
00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:04,760
Speaker 1: are part of a big group. So we'll keep us posted.

949
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:09,880
Speaker 1: Lane Well. Our next email comes from Carly. Carly is

950
00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:14,320
Speaker 1: in her twenties. Dear Chelsea, my cousin is like my sister.

951
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:19,080
Speaker 1: In April, my now husband and I eloped in his

952
00:50:19,200 --> 00:50:22,759
Speaker 1: hometown of Los Angeles, California. His family is not as

953
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:25,000
Speaker 1: close as ours, and I was unsure if anyone from

954
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:27,839
Speaker 1: his side of the family would even attend. It made

955
00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:29,759
Speaker 1: me so sad to think of our wedding with only

956
00:50:29,800 --> 00:50:32,080
Speaker 1: my side of the family, so instead, we kept it

957
00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:35,279
Speaker 1: simple and eloped in a beautiful garden, live streaming it

958
00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 1: for family and friends to watch from afar on the day.

959
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:41,160
Speaker 1: My cousin was working and I knew not everyone would

960
00:50:41,200 --> 00:50:43,560
Speaker 1: be able to watch it live. But she didn't even

961
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:47,200
Speaker 1: text me congratulations, despite being in family group chats where

962
00:50:47,239 --> 00:50:50,560
Speaker 1: everyone else was chiming in. She quote unquote liked one

963
00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:53,680
Speaker 1: of my texts that day and that was it. Time

964
00:50:53,719 --> 00:50:55,880
Speaker 1: went by and I was already so hurt by the

965
00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:58,600
Speaker 1: lack of acknowledgment on my big day. I was half

966
00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:00,480
Speaker 1: expecting her to get us a gift left off our

967
00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:02,960
Speaker 1: registry to make up for it, but she never did.

968
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:05,759
Speaker 1: I get it. It wasn't a traditional wedding and she's

969
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:07,920
Speaker 1: never been a gift giver, but it was a milestone

970
00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:09,759
Speaker 1: in my life that was important to me, and I

971
00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:12,359
Speaker 1: feel like she just doesn't seem to realize that or care.

972
00:51:13,239 --> 00:51:15,440
Speaker 1: It's not about the gift but the gesture, and it

973
00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:17,640
Speaker 1: makes me want to not get her anything on her

974
00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:19,959
Speaker 1: wedding day, even though I would never actually go through

975
00:51:19,960 --> 00:51:22,520
Speaker 1: with that. Do I bring it up and risk losing

976
00:51:22,560 --> 00:51:24,719
Speaker 1: someone I've considered a sister and a role model for

977
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:27,440
Speaker 1: twenty seven years, or sweep it under the rug and

978
00:51:27,600 --> 00:51:30,040
Speaker 1: live with it. Carly and Asa, do you want to

979
00:51:30,080 --> 00:51:34,040
Speaker 1: start that one? Yeah? I feel like if your sister's

980
00:51:34,239 --> 00:51:39,920
Speaker 1: cousins and if you're bringing up to your close friend,

981
00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:44,640
Speaker 1: best friend, whatever this relationship is, that something they're doing

982
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:48,440
Speaker 1: was upsetting to you, if that's gonna risk the whole relationship,

983
00:51:49,280 --> 00:51:53,600
Speaker 1: I don't think that's a strong relationship. I feel very

984
00:51:53,640 --> 00:51:57,919
Speaker 1: secure in my close friends with my family. If they

985
00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:02,080
Speaker 1: did something, I can say, hey, that hurt my feelings.

986
00:52:02,280 --> 00:52:05,560
Speaker 1: But I'm not worried that this is gonna end our relationship.

987
00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:08,960
Speaker 1: It's just going to be a conversation that we worked through.

988
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:12,920
Speaker 1: Because right now you're just assuming what she's thinking. What

989
00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:15,759
Speaker 1: is she managed you is you're not, and you're you're

990
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:18,919
Speaker 1: trying to figure it out when you can just ask, hey,

991
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:22,399
Speaker 1: this I was expecting a little more on my big

992
00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:25,520
Speaker 1: day and it was kind of hurtful. What what was

993
00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:29,279
Speaker 1: going on? Yeah? I think that's true, and I think

994
00:52:29,280 --> 00:52:32,040
Speaker 1: you should definitely say something because it really is meaningful

995
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:33,759
Speaker 1: to you. I mean, I don't think you should have

996
00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:36,839
Speaker 1: expectations about somebody getting you a gift or anything like that.

997
00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:39,759
Speaker 1: But it's about her presence and her acknowledgement of that day.

998
00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:42,000
Speaker 1: And she may have just thought that since you guys

999
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:44,080
Speaker 1: were eloping and live streaming it, that it was like

1000
00:52:44,160 --> 00:52:46,160
Speaker 1: you were playing it down and it wasn't as important

1001
00:52:46,239 --> 00:52:48,360
Speaker 1: as as it is to you. So she may have

1002
00:52:48,440 --> 00:52:52,160
Speaker 1: misread the signs and misread the circumstances to give her

1003
00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:54,960
Speaker 1: the opportunity to explain that. And I think when you

1004
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:57,000
Speaker 1: come from a place of hurt and you're just like, listen,

1005
00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:59,680
Speaker 1: you're somebody I've looked up to for twenty plus years

1006
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:02,439
Speaker 1: that I've considered a sister. I did want you there

1007
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:05,040
Speaker 1: with me on that day, maybe not physically in person,

1008
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:07,640
Speaker 1: but maybe I wasn't clear like I I want you

1009
00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:09,839
Speaker 1: there in support. You know, this is the biggest moment

1010
00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:11,959
Speaker 1: in my life, or one of the biggest moments for sure.

1011
00:53:12,680 --> 00:53:14,799
Speaker 1: So I don't think anything you can say would be

1012
00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:17,080
Speaker 1: wrong as long as you're not attacking her, you know,

1013
00:53:17,120 --> 00:53:18,799
Speaker 1: and you're just coming from a place of love and

1014
00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:21,280
Speaker 1: like her, And I will say I looked up the

1015
00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:25,120
Speaker 1: wedding etiquette rules on this, and really, I mean it's

1016
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:28,239
Speaker 1: not required if someone elopes, it's not required to buy

1017
00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:31,839
Speaker 1: a gift, according to etiquette rules. But you know what

1018
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:34,480
Speaker 1: you said here about like it's a milestone in my life.

1019
00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:37,560
Speaker 1: I think, just like Chelsea said, that's the language to use,

1020
00:53:37,640 --> 00:53:39,799
Speaker 1: like this was hurtful. That like maybe you could have

1021
00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:42,120
Speaker 1: sent a card. But the other thing is like your

1022
00:53:42,160 --> 00:53:44,040
Speaker 1: cousin was probably just wrapped up in her own ship

1023
00:53:44,120 --> 00:53:46,359
Speaker 1: that day or that week, you know, where we all

1024
00:53:46,400 --> 00:53:48,640
Speaker 1: are like doing our own thing, and like we're so

1025
00:53:48,680 --> 00:53:51,880
Speaker 1: close she won't even mind. You know, it probably was

1026
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:56,080
Speaker 1: not intentional to hurt you. Yeah, that's what I've learned

1027
00:53:56,280 --> 00:53:59,359
Speaker 1: over the pandemic, where everyone was freaking out in their

1028
00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:02,759
Speaker 1: own way. No one's thinking about you or your ship.

1029
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:06,600
Speaker 1: Everyone's dealing with their own stuff, and we're just taking

1030
00:54:06,640 --> 00:54:11,400
Speaker 1: everything personal, for sure. Everybody's taking everything way more personally

1031
00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:14,239
Speaker 1: during this time, that's for sure. Yeah, and it's all

1032
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:17,080
Speaker 1: just been a little weird. You know, we haven't been

1033
00:54:17,120 --> 00:54:19,280
Speaker 1: able to go to weddings or funerals or get together

1034
00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:21,320
Speaker 1: as or further to lie or any of that stuff.

1035
00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:24,920
Speaker 1: So well, Carly, let us know how it goes. Good

1036
00:54:24,960 --> 00:54:29,239
Speaker 1: Louve Carly let us know well. Our next email comes

1037
00:54:29,280 --> 00:54:33,920
Speaker 1: from Thomas. Thomas says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a non binary

1038
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:36,680
Speaker 1: queer person. I recently came to a decision with my

1039
00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:40,120
Speaker 1: ex to rekindle our relationship. We were together for two

1040
00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:42,520
Speaker 1: years and have been separated for a little over three

1041
00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:46,200
Speaker 1: years now. My partner is a therapist, and it's possibly

1042
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:48,960
Speaker 1: the most amazing human being I have ever met. He

1043
00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:51,560
Speaker 1: makes me smile, laugh, and feel like I can fully

1044
00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:54,799
Speaker 1: be myself around him. We haven't made it official at

1045
00:54:54,840 --> 00:54:58,880
Speaker 1: all that we're monogamous, but are letting things progress naturally. Recently,

1046
00:54:58,960 --> 00:55:01,719
Speaker 1: we went out together and I experienced a few instances

1047
00:55:01,719 --> 00:55:04,200
Speaker 1: where he was approached by guys that fit a specific

1048
00:55:04,239 --> 00:55:09,240
Speaker 1: mold of conventionality and regards to looks, muscles, tall, etcetera.

1049
00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:11,680
Speaker 1: I'm sort of insecure because I don't have motivation to

1050
00:55:11,760 --> 00:55:14,080
Speaker 1: hit the gym regularly and be that type of person.

1051
00:55:14,640 --> 00:55:16,680
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm less than I just find it

1052
00:55:16,719 --> 00:55:18,719
Speaker 1: hard not to compare myself to these people that my

1053
00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:22,360
Speaker 1: partner finds attractive. My question to you is how do

1054
00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:24,960
Speaker 1: I combat the urge to doubt myself and own my

1055
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:27,759
Speaker 1: attributes with my partner so I can become a better

1056
00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:32,239
Speaker 1: partner for him. Thomas. Oh, good question, Thomas. That's very

1057
00:55:32,280 --> 00:55:34,840
Speaker 1: common as so many people feel that way, and I

1058
00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:36,719
Speaker 1: think you have to, Like you just said so many

1059
00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:39,360
Speaker 1: beautiful things about your partner there with you for a reason.

1060
00:55:39,719 --> 00:55:41,680
Speaker 1: You know, he loves you for the reason that he

1061
00:55:41,719 --> 00:55:45,240
Speaker 1: loves you. Like the compare and contrast game never results

1062
00:55:45,280 --> 00:55:48,960
Speaker 1: in any positive good feelings about yourself. Comparing yourself to

1063
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:51,799
Speaker 1: what you think your boyfriend or partner likes or what

1064
00:55:51,840 --> 00:55:54,480
Speaker 1: he said he likes doesn't matter because he's chosen to

1065
00:55:54,520 --> 00:55:57,319
Speaker 1: be with you, and you need to focus on that

1066
00:55:57,440 --> 00:56:00,200
Speaker 1: and remember that you know, I'm sure you're interest and

1067
00:56:00,280 --> 00:56:02,480
Speaker 1: other people that you're not with also physically that you're

1068
00:56:02,520 --> 00:56:04,640
Speaker 1: attracted those people, that doesn't mean that you want to

1069
00:56:04,640 --> 00:56:06,920
Speaker 1: be with them. So you have to remember that your

1070
00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:09,640
Speaker 1: place is with your person, and you know, unless they

1071
00:56:09,640 --> 00:56:12,839
Speaker 1: give you a real, substantial reason to feel like they're

1072
00:56:12,840 --> 00:56:16,080
Speaker 1: not into you, then those feelings and misgivings are just

1073
00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:19,560
Speaker 1: in your head and you just have to exercise that

1074
00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:23,759
Speaker 1: that ability to deprogram yourself of that thinking. You have

1075
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:25,920
Speaker 1: to always just say this is in my head, this

1076
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:28,799
Speaker 1: is not real. I'm with him and we're together, were

1077
00:56:28,840 --> 00:56:32,399
Speaker 1: a couple, and and eventually that won't matter to you

1078
00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:36,120
Speaker 1: him looking around or you looking at what he finds attractive.

1079
00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:38,360
Speaker 1: He has the ability to go off and be with

1080
00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:42,000
Speaker 1: another person if he wants to. Yeah, I feel like

1081
00:56:42,040 --> 00:56:44,799
Speaker 1: at the beginning of my relationship, because it was my

1082
00:56:44,880 --> 00:56:50,560
Speaker 1: first real relationship, I was so jealous, so insecure, and

1083
00:56:50,880 --> 00:56:55,640
Speaker 1: I I thought that, you know, because he was thought

1084
00:56:55,680 --> 00:56:59,399
Speaker 1: other things or people were attractive, that meant something about me.

1085
00:56:59,440 --> 00:57:02,719
Speaker 1: But it took a while to learn it means that

1086
00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:05,080
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with who you love, who you're

1087
00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:08,440
Speaker 1: attracted to. Yeah, I'm also attracted to you know, the

1088
00:57:08,600 --> 00:57:12,399
Speaker 1: Rock and j Low and all that. So but yeah,

1089
00:57:12,520 --> 00:57:15,440
Speaker 1: it's hard when I would always be hard on myself,

1090
00:57:15,480 --> 00:57:17,640
Speaker 1: like why am I so insecure? Why can't Why am

1091
00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:21,040
Speaker 1: I so jealous? And it is because, you know, shitty

1092
00:57:21,120 --> 00:57:25,600
Speaker 1: guys before would lie to me and tell me no

1093
00:57:25,880 --> 00:57:28,560
Speaker 1: when ship was happening and all that. So there's a

1094
00:57:28,640 --> 00:57:32,280
Speaker 1: reason why we're insecure and past relationships and all that.

1095
00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:36,320
Speaker 1: But once you find someone that's actually with you, choosing

1096
00:57:36,360 --> 00:57:40,160
Speaker 1: you makes you happy, you kind of have to, like

1097
00:57:40,240 --> 00:57:44,280
Speaker 1: Chelsea said, deep, program yourself, find a way to find

1098
00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:47,560
Speaker 1: that love within yourself. And that's what being in a

1099
00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:50,640
Speaker 1: relationship has taught me is I thought, oh, having a

1100
00:57:50,720 --> 00:57:54,360
Speaker 1: boyfriend's gonna make me feel so great and be confident,

1101
00:57:54,520 --> 00:57:58,400
Speaker 1: But I actually had to start working on myself because

1102
00:57:58,480 --> 00:58:04,080
Speaker 1: he didn't fix all my ship like I thought he was. Yeah, exactly,

1103
00:58:04,360 --> 00:58:06,439
Speaker 1: And that's work that you have to do. That's yeah,

1104
00:58:06,480 --> 00:58:08,880
Speaker 1: that's an inside job, not an outside job. So you

1105
00:58:08,920 --> 00:58:11,080
Speaker 1: have to figure that out. But as long as you

1106
00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:13,440
Speaker 1: did know that you identified the issue, it's easy to

1107
00:58:13,480 --> 00:58:16,160
Speaker 1: fix the issue, you know. I mean, it's easier said

1108
00:58:16,160 --> 00:58:18,120
Speaker 1: than done. But as long as you're being honest with

1109
00:58:18,120 --> 00:58:21,000
Speaker 1: yourself and understand like, Okay, this is an issue, this

1110
00:58:21,080 --> 00:58:23,440
Speaker 1: is not real, this is what's in my head, and

1111
00:58:23,520 --> 00:58:26,360
Speaker 1: have a dialogue and remember, like the thoughts you're having,

1112
00:58:26,680 --> 00:58:29,120
Speaker 1: you're aware of those thoughts you're having, and so you're

1113
00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:32,960
Speaker 1: aware of reminding yourself that these aren't real thoughts. If

1114
00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:35,680
Speaker 1: that makes sense, you should if anyone who's listening to

1115
00:58:35,680 --> 00:58:39,720
Speaker 1: this podcast and should make sense to them. Well, let's

1116
00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:42,320
Speaker 1: take a quick break and we'll be right back with

1117
00:58:42,400 --> 00:58:52,720
Speaker 1: Vanessa and Chelsea and we're back. Well, Vanessa, we like

1118
00:58:52,840 --> 00:58:54,760
Speaker 1: to ask if our guests have any advice they'd like

1119
00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:58,840
Speaker 1: to get from Chelsea. Is there anything you'd like to ask? Yeah,

1120
00:58:58,920 --> 00:59:01,320
Speaker 1: you know, I was thinking about it, and I know

1121
00:59:01,360 --> 00:59:04,800
Speaker 1: when we're on the road, I ask you for advice.

1122
00:59:04,840 --> 00:59:07,600
Speaker 1: You give me a lot of helpful tips. But I

1123
00:59:07,640 --> 00:59:11,480
Speaker 1: know you're a dog owner. I'm a dog owner. Is

1124
00:59:11,520 --> 00:59:16,160
Speaker 1: there a good song to sing to your dogs to

1125
00:59:16,240 --> 00:59:19,280
Speaker 1: put them to sleep? Do you have one? Do you

1126
00:59:19,360 --> 00:59:23,400
Speaker 1: not sing to your dogs? Don't accuse me of anything, Vanissa,

1127
00:59:23,680 --> 00:59:25,880
Speaker 1: and you know you know I don't fucking sing to

1128
00:59:25,920 --> 00:59:27,880
Speaker 1: my dogs. No, that's not true. I sing it's a

1129
00:59:27,880 --> 00:59:29,800
Speaker 1: beautiful day in the neighborhood to them all the time,

1130
00:59:29,840 --> 00:59:33,320
Speaker 1: but not I sing. I make up lots of songs,

1131
00:59:33,360 --> 00:59:35,680
Speaker 1: but I say it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood,

1132
00:59:35,720 --> 00:59:38,240
Speaker 1: a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Would you be mine?

1133
00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:41,680
Speaker 1: And then I suck on bird's nose? Could you be mine?

1134
00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:44,480
Speaker 1: But no, good one? Yeah, that is a good one.

1135
00:59:44,480 --> 00:59:46,520
Speaker 1: It's sweet. And also, if you're like me and you

1136
00:59:46,520 --> 00:59:49,120
Speaker 1: can't sing, which I'm sure you don't have that problem

1137
00:59:49,160 --> 00:59:51,640
Speaker 1: because you're Latina and you have rhythm and can't sing.

1138
00:59:51,840 --> 00:59:53,600
Speaker 1: You should have seen Vanessa trying to teach me to

1139
00:59:53,640 --> 00:59:56,440
Speaker 1: do a TikTok dance once she was like, what is

1140
00:59:56,480 --> 00:59:58,320
Speaker 1: wrong with you? I'm like, I told you, I don't

1141
00:59:58,320 --> 01:00:00,800
Speaker 1: have any rhythm. She's like no, seriously, like just move

1142
01:00:00,840 --> 01:00:03,800
Speaker 1: your arm like I'm showing you. It was like this simple,

1143
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:07,760
Speaker 1: and I was like what, I like headbutted myself. But yeah,

1144
01:00:07,800 --> 01:00:09,760
Speaker 1: I think that's always a soothing song. I whenever I

1145
01:00:09,800 --> 01:00:13,000
Speaker 1: hear that song, I always just melt. I like that.

1146
01:00:13,080 --> 01:00:16,200
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try that one. I always sing hopelessly devoted

1147
01:00:16,280 --> 01:00:26,480
Speaker 1: to my not that's cute, that sexual so oh that's lovely. Okay, well,

1148
01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:28,360
Speaker 1: we want to thank you Vanessa for being on the

1149
01:00:28,360 --> 01:00:33,240
Speaker 1: podcast today. Please follow Vanessa, Vanessa Comedy, Vanessa G. What

1150
01:00:33,320 --> 01:00:40,919
Speaker 1: is it? Vanessa Ga, Vanessa Comedy, Vanessa Gynecological. I'm Vanessa's gynecologist.

1151
01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:44,800
Speaker 1: First of all, you are, She's yeah, I'm her pharmacologist

1152
01:00:44,880 --> 01:00:47,840
Speaker 1: and her gynecologist, although she doesn't always believe that I'm

1153
01:00:47,880 --> 01:00:55,160
Speaker 1: a gynecologist. But Vanessa G. Comedy on Instagram and Vanessa

1154
01:00:55,240 --> 01:00:59,640
Speaker 1: Comedy dot com website, and yeah, you could find me

1155
01:00:59,680 --> 01:01:02,080
Speaker 1: on or with Chelsea. We're going to keep this party

1156
01:01:02,120 --> 01:01:06,880
Speaker 1: going all year. Yeah. Oh yeah, thank you, Vanessa, thank

1157
01:01:06,920 --> 01:01:10,280
Speaker 1: you all. That was fun, have a great day YouTube

1158
01:01:11,200 --> 01:01:13,520
Speaker 1: and if you'd like to get advice from Chelsea and

1159
01:01:13,560 --> 01:01:17,120
Speaker 1: one of her guests, please write into Dear Chelsea Project

1160
01:01:17,520 --> 01:01:21,000
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com.