1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:03,760 Speaker 1: Hello, let you know USA listener, here's a story from 2 00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:04,640 Speaker 1: our archives. 3 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:10,360 Speaker 2: Then after that, after Shane Sarah Lacy gave Andrea and Joe. 4 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:13,720 Speaker 3: I'm at a family wedding. It's the first one I've 5 00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:14,280 Speaker 3: ever been to. 6 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:17,360 Speaker 2: Perfect. 7 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:23,239 Speaker 3: I'm surrounded by a small crowd, cousins, aunts, uncles, my 8 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:26,640 Speaker 3: family who I've only just met for the first time 9 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:30,040 Speaker 3: yesterday we got ridden and then my flower girls. 10 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 4: Okay, I need my flower girls. 11 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:32,920 Speaker 5: That's an issue. 12 00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:36,280 Speaker 3: My mom left home as a teenager and never went back, 13 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:39,560 Speaker 3: so I never knew her family, and my father was 14 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:42,400 Speaker 3: out of the picture before I was born. So until 15 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:45,320 Speaker 3: this moment, the only family I've ever known was my 16 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:48,520 Speaker 3: brother and my mom. I've always belonged to the small 17 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:51,080 Speaker 3: corner of the world that we shared, just the three 18 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:54,600 Speaker 3: of us. My family tree has always been this single splinter. 19 00:00:56,160 --> 00:01:00,000 Speaker 3: I'm here at this wedding because of someone who's not here, 20 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:03,600 Speaker 3: who I've never met and will never meet. Her name 21 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:07,720 Speaker 3: is Alicia. She should have been my grandmother, but instead 22 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:11,520 Speaker 3: she's a stranger, like nearly everyone next to me, waiting 23 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:14,640 Speaker 3: to walk the aisle before the bride. She's my family, 24 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:16,720 Speaker 3: and I'm only now getting to know her story. 25 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:25,840 Speaker 1: From Futuromedia and PRX. It's Latino USA. I'm Maria Jojosa. 26 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:30,039 Speaker 1: Today we tag along as Sayer give though untangles the 27 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:35,320 Speaker 1: story of his lost family. Before we start, Dear listener, 28 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:39,520 Speaker 1: this story does contain mentions of sexual and physical abuse, 29 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:40,920 Speaker 1: so please take care. 30 00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:51,280 Speaker 3: This story doesn't really begin at a wedding. It begins 31 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 3: four years ago on Mother's Day. My mom, Maria, picks 32 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,680 Speaker 3: me up from my job. I'm a part time bus 33 00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:01,360 Speaker 3: boy and part time journalist at this point. The night 34 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:04,000 Speaker 3: before she had called me and told me that she 35 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:07,120 Speaker 3: had some news, but she needed to tell me in person. 36 00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:15,600 Speaker 6: So I guess you know. I know how you and 37 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:19,200 Speaker 6: your brother want to know more about our family, and 38 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:23,040 Speaker 6: so I had this idea that maybe for Mother's Day 39 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:27,040 Speaker 6: we could go to your grandmother's great we could talk 40 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,480 Speaker 6: about her. Need to know some more about her, because 41 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:31,239 Speaker 6: I don't think I've told you very much about her. 42 00:02:31,639 --> 00:02:35,280 Speaker 3: She's told me almost nothing about my grandma. I don't 43 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,519 Speaker 3: even know if she's dead or alive. The few details 44 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:41,440 Speaker 3: that I know are these. My mom's parents are both 45 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:44,519 Speaker 3: from alt Salvador, but they met in San Francisco, California, 46 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:49,000 Speaker 3: in the nineteen sixties. My grandmother's name was Alicia. My 47 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:53,840 Speaker 3: grandfather's name was Jose Ignacio. She was seventeen, he was 48 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 3: thirty seven. They got married and had my mom, and 49 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:01,880 Speaker 3: then one day my mom I'm left home and never 50 00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:02,320 Speaker 3: went back. 51 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:03,400 Speaker 6: Oh very much about her. 52 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't even know she was dead. 53 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,640 Speaker 7: Well, I thought she was dead. 54 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:10,720 Speaker 6: Yeah, that's might've been my working assumption, because she was 55 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:14,600 Speaker 6: so sick, you know, when I left, and I didn't 56 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:15,520 Speaker 6: think she would get better. 57 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,480 Speaker 3: My mom tells me that she asked her friend Tim, 58 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:22,919 Speaker 3: who's a journalist, to look up information about my grandma, 59 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:25,080 Speaker 3: and he's found something. 60 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,520 Speaker 6: He didn't find a grave, He didn't find a death certificate, 61 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:30,359 Speaker 6: but he found this woman who lives in San Francisco. 62 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:32,240 Speaker 6: We don't know for sure if it's her or not. 63 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:37,000 Speaker 6: She'd be sixty six years old. She could be could 64 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:40,200 Speaker 6: not be her, and I don't know. But anyway, there's 65 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,920 Speaker 6: no grave to go visit and talk about your grandmother 66 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:46,080 Speaker 6: because we haven't found it yet if it exists, and 67 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:48,640 Speaker 6: maybe this woman in San Francisco is her. 68 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:59,120 Speaker 3: I grew up in the Bay Area, surrounded by the 69 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:02,240 Speaker 3: ghosts of my mom's childhood. The street. She told me 70 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:07,360 Speaker 3: she had grown up on the people she had left behind. Now, 71 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:11,440 Speaker 3: sitting in the car, her voice is shaky. She opens 72 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:15,720 Speaker 3: and closes the window for no reason. Alicia is alive, 73 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,119 Speaker 3: and she lives only a few miles away. 74 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:25,520 Speaker 6: I guess I'm nervous because I'm scared, because I guess 75 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:28,440 Speaker 6: it's been a long time. And then my first time 76 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,240 Speaker 6: when I saw that she could be this woman was 77 00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:34,040 Speaker 6: that Wow. I thought, Oh, look, she's been alive all 78 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,039 Speaker 6: this time, and she didn't even bother to look for me. 79 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:43,760 Speaker 3: I want to tell you about Alicia, about who she was, 80 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:46,760 Speaker 3: because she's the stranger in my family tree that I 81 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:49,360 Speaker 3: know best. I want to tell you about how Alicia 82 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,760 Speaker 3: and my mom used to dress up in matching outfits, 83 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:54,000 Speaker 3: How she used to make my mom play the song 84 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:57,080 Speaker 3: Yesterday by the Beatles on her little portable record player 85 00:04:57,200 --> 00:05:00,359 Speaker 3: over and over. How Alicia was once the queen of 86 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:04,719 Speaker 3: the parade at the Fiestas Ostinas and Alsavalor. I'm going 87 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:07,520 Speaker 3: to tell you instead about how in nineteen seventy three, 88 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:11,520 Speaker 3: Alicia suffered her first mental breakdown. My mom tells me 89 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:14,440 Speaker 3: that story one day over the phone. She was eight 90 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 3: years old. 91 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:18,120 Speaker 8: Oh yeah, I had a crush on this boy who 92 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 8: which is why I think Rob Low is cute, because 93 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:24,479 Speaker 8: he looked like Rob Low. This kid and I had 94 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 8: a big crush on him. 95 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:28,400 Speaker 3: This kid was a neighbor. He went to their church, 96 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:32,320 Speaker 3: and one weekend their families took off together to Yosemite 97 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 3: for a camping trip. My mom says that her mom, Alicia, 98 00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:38,400 Speaker 3: had issues for as long as she could remember, but 99 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:41,760 Speaker 3: they'd always been ignored or explained away by issues. My 100 00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:46,800 Speaker 3: mom means, namely, that Alicia heard voices during the family 101 00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 3: camping trip. It became increasingly hard to ignore that fact. 102 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:52,680 Speaker 8: But she was no longer being able to contain the 103 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 8: fact that she heard voices, so she would openly respond 104 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:59,919 Speaker 8: to the voices. Sometimes she would listen to their command. 105 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:03,080 Speaker 8: I think she would do stuff in response. 106 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:05,839 Speaker 3: At one point, the voices told her to leave the 107 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:08,520 Speaker 3: group and take my mom to the tent, where they 108 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,080 Speaker 3: just sat for hours and hours. 109 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 9: She brush my hair, talked to me. 110 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,080 Speaker 8: It didn't make any sense, but I was used to it, 111 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:19,080 Speaker 8: so it wasn't a big deal. You know, wasn't unpleasant 112 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:19,359 Speaker 8: for me. 113 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:20,120 Speaker 10: She loved me. 114 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:23,080 Speaker 3: But the next day, the boy who looked like Rob 115 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:25,440 Speaker 3: Low and his family decided to leave. 116 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 8: And I remember the time. I maybe it was denial, 117 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:32,159 Speaker 8: but I didn't really connect it with my mom. 118 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:35,760 Speaker 3: And the following night, Alicia woke my mom up. 119 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 8: And that's when she took me out to the woods 120 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:42,479 Speaker 8: and she left me there because she wanted me to 121 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:49,880 Speaker 8: be safe, she said. I don't remember being particularly worried 122 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:59,240 Speaker 8: or scared. I just remember trusting her. The next thing 123 00:06:59,279 --> 00:07:02,640 Speaker 8: I remember is just like lives and you know, people 124 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:05,719 Speaker 8: kind of coming out and finding me. And the next 125 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,240 Speaker 8: thing I remember is waking up in the morning and 126 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:12,480 Speaker 8: how things seemed really different in some ways with my 127 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:16,880 Speaker 8: dad seemed different. Everybody was really super stressed out, but. 128 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:21,120 Speaker 3: They pretended nothing had happened. The way my mom tells it, 129 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 3: they came home after that trip and her father, joseg Nacio, 130 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:29,720 Speaker 3: started to drink and never stopped. Alicia and joseg Nacio 131 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:34,360 Speaker 3: separated a year later. My mom went with Alicia, but 132 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:38,160 Speaker 3: Alicia's episodes would continue. She would disappear for days at 133 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:41,040 Speaker 3: a time and my mom would be left alone, or 134 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:44,480 Speaker 3: she would stay with her grandfather. At one point, she 135 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 3: lived with her dad, who was still struggling with alcoholism. 136 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:51,880 Speaker 3: So my mom spent those years, oscillating between different precarious 137 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:56,520 Speaker 3: home lives, until eventually one day she couldn't take it anymore, 138 00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:04,880 Speaker 3: and at fifteen years old, she left for a time. 139 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,880 Speaker 3: She would come back and visit family, but that didn't 140 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 3: last very long. To me, it had always seen my 141 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:16,280 Speaker 3: mom's life was split in two, life before Alicia's mental 142 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:19,760 Speaker 3: breakdown and life after it. And it was the after 143 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,960 Speaker 3: where things became vague, where chapters seemed to melt together 144 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:26,400 Speaker 3: and details became less acute. I knew my mom had 145 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:30,160 Speaker 3: lived in San Francisco in an anarchist commune. She had 146 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:32,520 Speaker 3: traveled to Europe partly to hang out with some cute 147 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:35,800 Speaker 3: guy from a Swedish theater troupe, and then eventually she 148 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:38,400 Speaker 3: had ended up back in San Francisco, where she met 149 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,200 Speaker 3: my birth dad and had my brother and. 150 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:44,079 Speaker 11: I we'll just would you. 151 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,920 Speaker 3: My mom once called us orphans of history, and I 152 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:57,120 Speaker 3: think what she means by that is that we've never 153 00:08:57,160 --> 00:09:00,400 Speaker 3: belonged to anyone, not to a place, and I entity 154 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:04,840 Speaker 3: a history. I've always identified to Salvadoran because that's the 155 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:07,720 Speaker 3: one part of my family's background that I know anything about, 156 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,960 Speaker 3: and even that's not very much. I didn't grow up 157 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,600 Speaker 3: taking trips to Al Salvador as a kid, or listening 158 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,800 Speaker 3: to Ros r Manos Flores. My mom, my brother, and 159 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:20,240 Speaker 3: I were all born in San Francisco. It's hard to 160 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:22,760 Speaker 3: explain the tiny world I grew up in. It was 161 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:25,480 Speaker 3: a happy one, but it's not one many of my 162 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:29,040 Speaker 3: friends could relate to. I still often feel like an alien, 163 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,280 Speaker 3: like I grew up in Earth's orbit, close enough to 164 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:35,120 Speaker 3: see everything that was happening, but far enough away to 165 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:40,560 Speaker 3: never truly belong to it. After my mom tells me 166 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:44,360 Speaker 3: that Alicia might still be alive, we don't look for her. 167 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:50,040 Speaker 3: In the weeks and months that follow, we talk about 168 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:52,640 Speaker 3: going to see her. I look up her listed address 169 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:55,160 Speaker 3: on Google Maps and spend an hour looking at the house. 170 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:58,280 Speaker 3: I clicked through that little timeline of photos taken of 171 00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:01,040 Speaker 3: the house over the years, and watch the weather and 172 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:04,840 Speaker 3: the parked cars in front change. But we never really 173 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:08,640 Speaker 3: look for Alicia. I go off to college. My mom 174 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:13,040 Speaker 3: is working a lot. We're busy, but we're also hesitant. 175 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:15,920 Speaker 3: My mom tells me one time that if it were 176 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:23,160 Speaker 3: up to her, we wouldn't be looking. Four years past. 177 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:25,960 Speaker 3: I graduate from college and end up back in the 178 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,880 Speaker 3: Bay Area, again for a couple of weeks. I've just 179 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 3: been hired at Latino USA, and I want to get 180 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:33,800 Speaker 3: all my documents together before I settle down in New York. 181 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,280 Speaker 3: So I take a trip to city Hall to get 182 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:39,800 Speaker 3: a copy of my birth certificate, which I've lost. I 183 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,480 Speaker 3: haven't thought much about my family or my grandmother since 184 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:45,760 Speaker 3: that Mother's Day, and I can't explain why. But when 185 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,920 Speaker 3: I get there, it occurs to me that if my 186 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,720 Speaker 3: grandmother has died at some point in the last few years, 187 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:53,000 Speaker 3: this is where there would be a record of it. 188 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:56,920 Speaker 3: So I ask, and sorry, I had just a quick question. 189 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,520 Speaker 3: So I'm actually, in addition to my birth certificate, I 190 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,480 Speaker 3: was looking for a death certificate for my grandparents. But 191 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:04,240 Speaker 3: I did your grandparents mass away? I don't know, that's 192 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:06,040 Speaker 3: the thing. So I'm like looking to what was within 193 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:08,120 Speaker 3: the last few years or I never met them, so 194 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 3: I'm just seeing if they died, if there's a death 195 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,319 Speaker 3: certificate or a record of them. Is that something that's 196 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,520 Speaker 3: I can check. I haven't. 197 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:18,360 Speaker 2: Alicia Chavez was born in El Salvador, but the person 198 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:19,120 Speaker 2: was seventy. 199 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:21,360 Speaker 12: There's no other information on this person. 200 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,520 Speaker 2: A lot of the information here is listed as unknown, 201 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:26,440 Speaker 2: But like, all I can really tell you with like 202 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:29,960 Speaker 2: with certainty is that they passed away this year and 203 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,040 Speaker 2: they were seventy when they passed away. Because there's not 204 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,439 Speaker 2: really much else in terms of information. 205 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:38,079 Speaker 3: Almost every box on the certificate has the letters U, 206 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:43,160 Speaker 3: N K printed in them unknown, but the ages match, 207 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:46,000 Speaker 3: and so does the birth country. And in this weird way, 208 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:49,120 Speaker 3: what most convinces me it's her is the lack of 209 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:52,600 Speaker 3: answers on her death certificate. I've lived most of my 210 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:56,120 Speaker 3: life with questions about my family, so I'm used to unknowns. 211 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,000 Speaker 3: I guess I hadn't fully thought through what it would 212 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:02,040 Speaker 3: mean to get an answer like that Alicia is dead. 213 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,480 Speaker 3: And now that I know, Now that I have that answer, 214 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:09,079 Speaker 3: I have to tell my mom, tell her that Alicia 215 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:12,120 Speaker 3: had lived just a short distance from us this whole time, 216 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:16,320 Speaker 3: that now all our questions might never be answered, and 217 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:21,000 Speaker 3: that it was our fault because we had waited. I 218 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:27,760 Speaker 3: decided not to tell her yet. I searched the address 219 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:30,760 Speaker 3: listed on the death certificate and it turns out to 220 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:36,200 Speaker 3: be an assisted living home. So I call a woman 221 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:38,040 Speaker 3: named Carmen picks up the phone. 222 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:39,720 Speaker 5: What is the name of your grandma? 223 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:40,520 Speaker 8: Alicia? 224 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:41,520 Speaker 10: Chovis. 225 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:46,040 Speaker 5: Oh, she's not. She lived here for a long time, 226 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:51,720 Speaker 5: you know her. Yeah, she lives here, and that's your grandma. 227 00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:54,360 Speaker 3: It turns out that she took care of Alicia for 228 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:57,120 Speaker 3: the last seven years or so. She hands me off 229 00:12:57,120 --> 00:13:01,120 Speaker 3: the little information that she has, But like the death certificate, 230 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,719 Speaker 3: the last documents are largely blank. No next of kin, 231 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:09,120 Speaker 3: no last known residents. The documents only go back as 232 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:10,120 Speaker 3: far as twenty eleven. 233 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:14,560 Speaker 5: You know what, Alicia is really a very nice lady. 234 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:17,959 Speaker 10: Yes, did you remember anything from anything from her life? 235 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:21,960 Speaker 5: We've been asking her if she has the daughter, or 236 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:27,880 Speaker 5: she did anything anything. No, No, I don't know. I 237 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:33,360 Speaker 5: don't know. I don't know anything about life story. 238 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,920 Speaker 3: I go online to see if anything else pops up 239 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:40,080 Speaker 3: under Alicia's name, but again I met with unknowns name, 240 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:44,679 Speaker 3: birth date, and nothing else. One name does keep popping 241 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:48,880 Speaker 3: up near hers, Milton. So I text my mom and 242 00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:52,120 Speaker 3: ask her if she remembers anyone by that name. She 243 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:55,680 Speaker 3: tells me it's her half brother. Who is your half sibling? 244 00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:58,760 Speaker 9: Yeah, on my dad's side. 245 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:01,240 Speaker 10: Is it weird if I reach out to them? 246 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:03,280 Speaker 9: Maybe we should talk first. 247 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:05,200 Speaker 4: You can, you know what? 248 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:07,040 Speaker 9: You can reach out just to know that you should 249 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:07,760 Speaker 9: probably talk. 250 00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:09,560 Speaker 6: I should give you. 251 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,120 Speaker 13: Yeah, I should tell you so. 252 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:12,880 Speaker 10: You know he'll do what. 253 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:16,640 Speaker 9: I can't really talk right now because you have to 254 00:14:16,679 --> 00:14:20,040 Speaker 9: get into a meeting right now, like I'm late a 255 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,160 Speaker 9: minute for them, you know. 256 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:22,520 Speaker 4: Okay. 257 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:24,760 Speaker 10: I love you, Mama, I love you too. 258 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:28,960 Speaker 3: Okay, until this moment, I didn't even know my mom 259 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:31,640 Speaker 3: had a half brother. But it seems like the only 260 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:34,440 Speaker 3: characters in her stories who are identified are the ones 261 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:37,560 Speaker 3: that pain her. To mention, I don't know whether Milton's 262 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:40,400 Speaker 3: absence from her story is a good thing or a 263 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:40,920 Speaker 3: bad thing. 264 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:47,120 Speaker 4: Hello, Hello, Hello, how are you? 265 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:54,160 Speaker 1: When we return, Sayer makes contact with his family. 266 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:59,840 Speaker 4: Unbelievable, my friend, I mean, my skin is shivering right now. 267 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:47,440 Speaker 1: Stay with us. Yes, Hey, we're back. Last we heard, 268 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:52,440 Speaker 1: Sayor Gibelo had been searching for information about his grandmother, Alicia. 269 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:56,480 Speaker 1: In the course of that search, he found a previously 270 00:15:56,680 --> 00:16:01,160 Speaker 1: unknown uncle, and Sayer decided to call him up. He 271 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:02,360 Speaker 1: picks up this story again. 272 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:08,200 Speaker 4: Now, Hello, Hello, how are you good? Good? 273 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:08,960 Speaker 3: Is this Milton? 274 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:09,680 Speaker 4: Yes? 275 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:13,320 Speaker 10: I think we may or may not be related, but 276 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:14,920 Speaker 10: he will love. 277 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:20,400 Speaker 4: Father's my father's name Jose, My father's name Jose. 278 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:26,360 Speaker 13: But he's he's gone, so as my mother, Jose Nacio Kevelo, 279 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:28,720 Speaker 13: and with my mom Alicia Travis. 280 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:33,680 Speaker 4: My father marry Alicia. That's my stepmother. But then I 281 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,680 Speaker 4: have a sister. Her name is Maria. 282 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,520 Speaker 10: I'm the son of Maria Kevelo. 283 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:41,760 Speaker 4: My grandmother is Alicia Travis. 284 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:42,960 Speaker 12: So you really. 285 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:51,600 Speaker 4: Unbelievable, my friend. I mean, my skin is shivering right now. 286 00:16:56,640 --> 00:17:00,160 Speaker 4: She's moray sister. When I left, was the sir it 287 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:01,160 Speaker 4: She never called me. 288 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:02,160 Speaker 13: She never she does. 289 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:05,200 Speaker 4: She kind of disappeared from from his world. 290 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:18,640 Speaker 3: When I ask Milton about Alicia, my grandmother, she says 291 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:20,560 Speaker 3: that the last thing that he knew was that she 292 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,760 Speaker 3: was in a mental hospital. He knows just as much 293 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:28,000 Speaker 3: as I do. And my grandfather, he he's been. 294 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,320 Speaker 4: Dead for almost even years. 295 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:29,959 Speaker 10: He's been dead. 296 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:33,000 Speaker 4: Sat yeah, and then he asked me to take him 297 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,920 Speaker 4: to a follow because he didn't want to die here. 298 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:37,400 Speaker 4: We had all fins. So I took him over there. 299 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,920 Speaker 10: And did your dad ever mention my mom like wonder 300 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,480 Speaker 10: where she was or say, you know, like oh. 301 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:45,719 Speaker 13: Yeah, the last two years before he died, he kind of, 302 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,840 Speaker 13: you know, kind of seeking one thing he said to me, 303 00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:52,280 Speaker 13: he said, I want you to take me to every 304 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:55,760 Speaker 13: other woman I met, and I want to ask him 305 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:57,880 Speaker 13: for the forgiveness. 306 00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:02,200 Speaker 3: Milton and my mom share a dad, Josegnacio. Milton is 307 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:05,640 Speaker 3: from a previous relationship. He grew up in Al Salvador, 308 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:08,879 Speaker 3: and in the seventies, Alicia and Josegnacio brought him to 309 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:12,880 Speaker 3: the US. He was around seventeen years old. My mom 310 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:16,000 Speaker 3: was about ten. My mom and Milton would see each 311 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,359 Speaker 3: other around because he lived next door, but then they 312 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:21,560 Speaker 3: saw each other less and less when my mom went 313 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:26,280 Speaker 3: to stay with her grandfather after Alicia's mental breakdown. Eventually, 314 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:30,160 Speaker 3: Alicia was committed to a psychiatric hospital and my mom 315 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:31,240 Speaker 3: ran away for good. 316 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,400 Speaker 4: That was one of the reasons I said, well, agin, 317 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:34,960 Speaker 4: no family, I was going. 318 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:35,520 Speaker 8: To the service. 319 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:38,840 Speaker 3: He went to Vietnam, and when he came back, his 320 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:42,240 Speaker 3: sister and his step mom had both disappeared. The only 321 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:43,480 Speaker 3: one left was his father. 322 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,679 Speaker 13: Say again, you know, it's just like. 323 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:55,359 Speaker 14: Kind of a flatters You know, I never said someone 324 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:59,440 Speaker 14: in my father would be looking for me. I tell 325 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:12,280 Speaker 14: you Mom that I missed her. 326 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:17,480 Speaker 3: To my surprise, Milton just starts weeping. I want to 327 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:20,560 Speaker 3: cry too, but I feel weirdly numb, like I'm watching 328 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:24,480 Speaker 3: this all happen from the outside. That night, I call 329 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:26,919 Speaker 3: my mom to tell her about the conversation with Milton. 330 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:30,760 Speaker 10: So you found him, Yeah, No, I talked to him today. 331 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:32,320 Speaker 13: Ayay. 332 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,600 Speaker 3: I go over everything that Milton told me that he 333 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:37,680 Speaker 3: left for Vietnam and tried to find her when he 334 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,840 Speaker 3: got back, that he missed her. I tell her that 335 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:44,760 Speaker 3: hose Ag Nacio died seven years ago, and then I 336 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:46,919 Speaker 3: decided to finally tell her about Alicia. 337 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,199 Speaker 10: There's another thing I should probably tell you before I 338 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,800 Speaker 10: tell you anything else, because it doesn't feel right. 339 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:52,239 Speaker 11: Not too. 340 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:57,080 Speaker 10: When I went to get my birth certificate from city 341 00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,000 Speaker 10: Hall when I was visiting, I went and saw if 342 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,360 Speaker 10: they had a death certificate for either of our grandparents, 343 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:05,040 Speaker 10: me or Commas grandparents to your parents, And they had 344 00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:08,679 Speaker 10: a death certificate for your mom, and I got it. 345 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:10,359 Speaker 10: I got it a while back, but I just didn't 346 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:10,760 Speaker 10: really know. 347 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:13,680 Speaker 9: How to tell you when did she die? 348 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,600 Speaker 10: And I felt really bad last year. 349 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:19,400 Speaker 9: She died last year? 350 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:20,960 Speaker 4: Mm hmm. 351 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:30,000 Speaker 8: I mean, I feel like I left my mom a 352 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:30,760 Speaker 8: long time ago. 353 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,240 Speaker 9: I just didn't think that she would have lived. 354 00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:34,919 Speaker 5: So long, you know. 355 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:41,560 Speaker 9: Yeah, I guess since we're telling each other hard stuff, 356 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:45,520 Speaker 9: I guess I'll just tell you my heart stuff. So 357 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:49,159 Speaker 9: I just think it's didn't really clear with you that 358 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,520 Speaker 9: my mom's side of the family. 359 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:58,359 Speaker 12: Was really bad. So when we were living with my grandfather, 360 00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:04,960 Speaker 12: the reason that I say that his family was really bad. 361 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:05,840 Speaker 13: Is because. 362 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:11,119 Speaker 9: He was a child molester. And I don't think I 363 00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:14,400 Speaker 9: was only one, but I was the only kid in. 364 00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:15,080 Speaker 8: The house. 365 00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:18,359 Speaker 9: And it went on for a really long time. 366 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:22,280 Speaker 12: When my mom was around, she would protect me, But when. 367 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,800 Speaker 9: My mom would disappear, there was nobody to protect me. 368 00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:30,080 Speaker 9: I want you to know, so that you know. 369 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:30,440 Speaker 14: That I. 370 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,000 Speaker 9: That I didn't keep you away just to. 371 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:34,679 Speaker 14: Keep you away. 372 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:41,159 Speaker 9: I keep you away because I was trying to protect us, 373 00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:47,280 Speaker 9: with your brother and me. I'm really sorry. 374 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:52,760 Speaker 10: Why are you You don't have to be sorry, Mom. 375 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:59,080 Speaker 13: You have to be sorry. 376 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:06,720 Speaker 9: I'm a the kid everybody forgot about. Like, I'm happy 377 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,960 Speaker 9: that you're finding all this stuff because I think it 378 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:13,480 Speaker 9: will give you an anchor of where your people come from. 379 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:17,280 Speaker 9: But I don't think there's anything for me. 380 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:19,840 Speaker 10: Why do you do you think so? 381 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:26,760 Speaker 9: I guess because I think I'm I was my mother's 382 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:30,959 Speaker 9: so when she disappeared, I disappeared. 383 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:45,080 Speaker 3: In the days after I spoke with Milton. My cousins, 384 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:49,000 Speaker 3: Milton's daughters start reaching out to me over Facebook. They 385 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:50,800 Speaker 3: even call me and leave a voicemail. 386 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:56,600 Speaker 9: Hi, this is Sahara, your cousin. You can call me whenever. 387 00:22:56,600 --> 00:23:01,280 Speaker 9: I'm wanna favorite number right now is that Davy and 388 00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:08,480 Speaker 9: the cousin. We're super excited. This is so crazy. I 389 00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:11,239 Speaker 9: just can't wait to hear you. Please call us back 390 00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:12,120 Speaker 9: to her as possible. 391 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:16,159 Speaker 3: By Sahara's getting married in two weeks and they invite 392 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:19,640 Speaker 3: my brother, my mom, and me to come. We all accept. 393 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:22,840 Speaker 3: So the next week I head to California to set 394 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,040 Speaker 3: up a meeting for my mom and her long lost brother. 395 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,320 Speaker 3: We all kind of agree that Sahara's wedding probably isn't 396 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,000 Speaker 3: the best place to stage a reunion. 397 00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:33,920 Speaker 15: On your destination will be on the left. 398 00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:37,760 Speaker 3: One day, while I'm home, we're driving around and my 399 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:42,360 Speaker 3: brother Connor asked my mom if she's always known about Milton. 400 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:45,639 Speaker 3: She says, yes, it's not that. 401 00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:48,920 Speaker 15: We didn't know we existed, It's it we just haven't 402 00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:49,600 Speaker 15: seen each other. 403 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:51,760 Speaker 12: It's been a long time. 404 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:53,679 Speaker 6: Why didn't you ever tell us that? 405 00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:59,480 Speaker 11: I I don't know, I mean, I don't I don't 406 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,119 Speaker 11: feel like I didn't not tell you. 407 00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:01,680 Speaker 15: I just. 408 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:05,160 Speaker 3: I mean I didn't do you know like I didn't. 409 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,520 Speaker 15: I wasn't trying to withhold information from you. 410 00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:13,360 Speaker 3: Counter stopping a jerk. Seriously, I just. 411 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,159 Speaker 15: It wasn't an active part of my life. You know, 412 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:18,760 Speaker 15: my heart there. 413 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,960 Speaker 3: What Connor stopped being a jerk? 414 00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:25,440 Speaker 15: Seriously, it's not about you. 415 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:28,040 Speaker 3: Anyways, still said about you. 416 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:30,040 Speaker 2: I can't. 417 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:33,080 Speaker 15: I couldn't even hear what you just said, separation. 418 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,040 Speaker 3: What what are you Connie? 419 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:36,399 Speaker 4: What are you saying? Nothing? 420 00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:38,800 Speaker 3: I don't want to never heard. 421 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:46,639 Speaker 15: Okay, I'm sorry and. 422 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:47,880 Speaker 11: Did the best that I could come. 423 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:56,000 Speaker 3: Even though I'm annoyed at my brother, I understand him. 424 00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:58,040 Speaker 3: I think we both still resent my mom a little 425 00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:01,320 Speaker 3: for having kept us away. Maybe he feels like an 426 00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:04,119 Speaker 3: alien too, like he was never given the choice to 427 00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:07,720 Speaker 3: be anything but that to understand what or where he 428 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:12,400 Speaker 3: came from. Milton flies into San Francisco to meet us. 429 00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:16,679 Speaker 3: I arrived to the restaurant earlier than everyone else, mostly 430 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:20,560 Speaker 3: because I'm anxious. Milton arrives next. Are you looking like 431 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:21,000 Speaker 3: your mother? 432 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:21,720 Speaker 5: Right? 433 00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:22,320 Speaker 4: Yeah? 434 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:26,359 Speaker 3: We hug. He's nervous and asks the bartender for a 435 00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:30,280 Speaker 3: shot of tequila. But this restaurant only serves wine, so 436 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:33,280 Speaker 3: we sit and talk, both looking out the window onto 437 00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:36,360 Speaker 3: the streets to see if my mom is approaching. When 438 00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:38,960 Speaker 3: she finally does appear, Milton is mid story. 439 00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:39,720 Speaker 4: She would say no. 440 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:41,440 Speaker 11: She always say no. 441 00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:46,520 Speaker 3: He stops, turns to meet my mom's gaze and begins 442 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:50,320 Speaker 3: to cry as he goes to hug her. I want 443 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:53,639 Speaker 3: to hear your voice, Maria, he says, I want to 444 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:54,320 Speaker 3: hear your voice. 445 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:00,960 Speaker 4: I need to do this. 446 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:03,960 Speaker 5: Are you He's a fear. 447 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:07,280 Speaker 11: I can't answer that easily. 448 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:16,280 Speaker 3: My mom looks in shock, not scared or sad, just 449 00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:20,439 Speaker 3: not there. Milton is overjoyed to see her and to 450 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:23,760 Speaker 3: relive the past. But my mom looks like she's struggling. 451 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:26,320 Speaker 3: I know what happened to her when they were kids, 452 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:29,400 Speaker 3: how uncomfortable and difficult it is for her to talk 453 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:33,240 Speaker 3: about the past. But Milton seems oblivious to this. 454 00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:36,439 Speaker 12: Yeah, there's a lot. 455 00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:40,040 Speaker 3: At Milton and my mom talk about a little bit 456 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:45,040 Speaker 3: of everything. Milton's kids characters from their childhood. They talk 457 00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:45,800 Speaker 3: about their dad. 458 00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:48,080 Speaker 8: I can't blame my dad, but nothing. 459 00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:51,200 Speaker 13: I mean, I am not often grudge nobody. 460 00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:53,119 Speaker 3: You have your own way of being, you know, you 461 00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:54,720 Speaker 3: have you do your things. 462 00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:56,840 Speaker 13: You you do your things the way you wanted to do. 463 00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:01,240 Speaker 3: I see on some people they the good things more 464 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:03,400 Speaker 3: than the bad things. So that's what I remember, Bro. 465 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:04,800 Speaker 13: You know obviously my. 466 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:05,440 Speaker 11: Dad he was. 467 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:09,400 Speaker 13: O laerlo, you had a character. 468 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:13,720 Speaker 3: When Milton talks about certain family members, I noticed that 469 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:17,960 Speaker 3: he uses that phrase they were a character or they 470 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:18,720 Speaker 3: were something else. 471 00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:20,160 Speaker 8: My father was something else. 472 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:24,399 Speaker 3: For example, Alicia's grandmother, who they called La Nina Chila. 473 00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:28,560 Speaker 3: My mom tells me that La Nina was incredibly cruel, 474 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,760 Speaker 3: a sanctimonious woman who turned the other way when my 475 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:35,120 Speaker 3: mom was being molested, who pretended to have heart attacks 476 00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:37,640 Speaker 3: to get their attention, a hypocrite. 477 00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:39,720 Speaker 12: She was something else too. 478 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,600 Speaker 3: But that's okay. 479 00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:49,960 Speaker 14: Like I said, I can't you can't judge anybody. 480 00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,800 Speaker 6: Oh, you can judge some people. But you can judge 481 00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:53,240 Speaker 6: some people. 482 00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:56,840 Speaker 3: You can judge some people, my mom says, And I 483 00:27:56,840 --> 00:28:00,000 Speaker 3: think it's her finally rebelling against the complacency of her faith, 484 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:03,520 Speaker 3: the way they watched on the sidelines as she suffered 485 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:07,280 Speaker 3: until she couldn't take it anymore. You can judge some people, 486 00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:10,119 Speaker 3: she seems to be saying, especially the ones who are 487 00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:19,679 Speaker 3: supposed to protect you. After the restaurant, my mom asks, 488 00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:21,600 Speaker 3: if my brother and me want to see where she 489 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:23,760 Speaker 3: grew up, her grandfather's house. 490 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:25,080 Speaker 7: That's the house. 491 00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:34,440 Speaker 15: It's went up here, that went straight ahead, you guys. Yeah, huh. 492 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:36,679 Speaker 15: I don't think. 493 00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:37,840 Speaker 9: I didn't think. 494 00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:41,880 Speaker 15: I don't think my brother has any idea how bad it. 495 00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:42,200 Speaker 11: Was for me. 496 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:44,480 Speaker 15: I think he knew a little bit. 497 00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:49,040 Speaker 3: I think he had a feeling, but I don't. 498 00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:52,880 Speaker 15: It didn't seem like he knew. It's funny because I 499 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:55,680 Speaker 15: earlier today when I was thinking about me, you know, 500 00:28:55,760 --> 00:29:00,680 Speaker 15: like seeing him again, like meeting up. If you would 501 00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:04,320 Speaker 15: say that, like why did you go away? And I 502 00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:09,400 Speaker 15: was hoping you wouldn't so lonely I lived here. 503 00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:21,480 Speaker 3: The next morning, I fly in to Vegas and head 504 00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:26,400 Speaker 3: to the wedding rehearsal. Milton, my cousins, their mom, and 505 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:28,160 Speaker 3: the groom's family are all there. 506 00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:34,200 Speaker 5: You do not like coffee. 507 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:36,960 Speaker 3: I know it's because I'm still drinking coffee. That's the 508 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:38,600 Speaker 3: only thing I've met. I'm not sure what to do 509 00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:41,720 Speaker 3: with myself after being introduced to everyone, so I sit 510 00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:43,720 Speaker 3: down on one of the white folding chairs in the 511 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:47,600 Speaker 3: shade with Marta, Milton's wife. The wedding is by a 512 00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:51,880 Speaker 3: lake and there are turtle sunbathing on a rock nearby. 513 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:56,760 Speaker 3: You just stand like my cousin Sahara approaches me and. 514 00:29:58,120 --> 00:29:58,720 Speaker 2: Coming out on me. 515 00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:01,600 Speaker 11: I was gonna ask, would you like to walk my 516 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:02,560 Speaker 11: mom down? 517 00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:03,880 Speaker 4: Yeah? 518 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:10,720 Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, you're in the wedding. 519 00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:16,080 Speaker 3: Now, Okay. I feel a little awkward at first, but honestly, 520 00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:19,040 Speaker 3: it feels really good to be around them. I feel connected, 521 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:24,120 Speaker 3: even hearing about distant relatives, like that's our uncle, that's 522 00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:27,080 Speaker 3: the town our family is from. I feel like I'm 523 00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:40,480 Speaker 3: from something. I feel like a After the rehearsal, Daisy 524 00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:42,360 Speaker 3: invites me to come hang out with the family back 525 00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:46,120 Speaker 3: at the house. It's somewhere in the suburbs of Las Vegas. 526 00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:49,640 Speaker 3: She gives me a tour. They've got a big backyard 527 00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:56,400 Speaker 3: with chickens a dog named Fletcher. The living room is 528 00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:59,400 Speaker 3: covered in family photos, and there's a painting of a waterfall. 529 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,800 Speaker 3: A soccer game plays on the television. As Daisy and 530 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:06,160 Speaker 3: I and another cousin, Margharita, sit down at the kitchen 531 00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:11,040 Speaker 3: table to talk, Milton watches the game in the other room. First, 532 00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:13,240 Speaker 3: Daisy asks me about myself. 533 00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:17,080 Speaker 16: No, you gotta start with your Yeah, right, from what 534 00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:19,480 Speaker 16: I've born was school you went too, all that, and 535 00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:20,760 Speaker 16: how you got into the arts. 536 00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:23,520 Speaker 12: You're really ship with your brother? 537 00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:29,719 Speaker 3: Yeah, God, Wikipedia page. I tell them about my childhood, 538 00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:32,840 Speaker 3: growing up with my brother, how lonely it was, not 539 00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:36,040 Speaker 3: knowing any of my family or our history. It's nice 540 00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:38,920 Speaker 3: talking with someone who gets it. Daisy tells me that 541 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,000 Speaker 3: she felt the same way as a kid, because. 542 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:43,959 Speaker 5: In Miami we felt alone. It was just us, it 543 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,920 Speaker 5: was just Andrea Saharam. 544 00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:47,520 Speaker 12: We didn't have anybody in Miami. 545 00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:49,560 Speaker 3: We go back and forth like this for a while. 546 00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:52,920 Speaker 3: We talk about our weekend trips, our moms, what kind 547 00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:55,560 Speaker 3: of kids we were, the subjects we were best at 548 00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:59,480 Speaker 3: in school, even though we're obviously very different. I feel 549 00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:01,880 Speaker 3: the sense of ship that I've always imagined people have 550 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:06,040 Speaker 3: with their blood relatives, like this unspoken understanding that we're 551 00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:08,200 Speaker 3: bound together by something out of our control. 552 00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:13,720 Speaker 5: You belong to us, YEA, yeah, I know you just 553 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:15,560 Speaker 5: didn't know, but you've always. 554 00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:16,000 Speaker 2: Belonged to us. 555 00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:20,960 Speaker 3: This is the moment where things take a turn. Martha, 556 00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:23,200 Speaker 3: Daisy's mom, is on the other side of the room, 557 00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:27,280 Speaker 3: washing dishes. She turns to us and says that it's 558 00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:31,040 Speaker 3: important that kids know where they're from, and then she 559 00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:35,360 Speaker 3: starts to cry. Daisy clearly knows what's going on. She 560 00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:38,400 Speaker 3: tells me that their dad, my uncle Milton, had a 561 00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:41,240 Speaker 3: baby outside of his marriage to a woman who lives 562 00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:52,000 Speaker 3: in Al Salvador. I told her my papa has Daisy 563 00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,440 Speaker 3: told the woman, my father is a man who had 564 00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:57,440 Speaker 3: daughters and didn't know how to treat them. Just because 565 00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:59,760 Speaker 3: he gave you a child doesn't mean he's a father. 566 00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:06,640 Speaker 3: I don't have to wonder long about what she means. 567 00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:09,400 Speaker 3: Daisy goes on to tell me that at more than 568 00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:13,000 Speaker 3: one point, Milton was physically abusive towards his daughters and 569 00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:13,640 Speaker 3: his wife. 570 00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:16,080 Speaker 4: He would beat up Sayara like she was a man. 571 00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:20,400 Speaker 4: My dad's ex military, so you should never touch your 572 00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:21,200 Speaker 4: daughters like that. 573 00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:23,480 Speaker 3: He would beat her up to a point where she 574 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:32,480 Speaker 3: was on the floor. Post Ignacio, our grandfather had shown 575 00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:34,840 Speaker 3: up at the end of his life sick with Alzheimer's 576 00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:38,680 Speaker 3: after years of absence, and Milton had mistreated him too 577 00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:42,239 Speaker 3: as revenge, Daisy says, for the ways his father had 578 00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:45,479 Speaker 3: hurt him, first for leaving him in Al Salvador as 579 00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:49,840 Speaker 3: a kid, and then for the years of alcoholism and neglect. 580 00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:55,400 Speaker 3: Milton is still just in the other room watching TV. 581 00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:58,520 Speaker 3: I'm surprised my cousins are telling me all this so 582 00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:01,520 Speaker 3: soon after I've met them. But the more I hear, 583 00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,480 Speaker 3: the more I realize that on both sides of my family, 584 00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:09,280 Speaker 3: abuse has followed us. My great grandfather had sexually abused 585 00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:13,719 Speaker 3: my mom. My grandfather had emotionally abused my uncle. My 586 00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:17,680 Speaker 3: uncle had abused his kids and then abused my grandfather 587 00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:23,920 Speaker 3: in return. It's only later that I understand that Daisy 588 00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:26,880 Speaker 3: tells me all of this to warn me, letting me 589 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:30,080 Speaker 3: know that I belonged to them, and then letting me 590 00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:38,400 Speaker 3: know what it is exactly that I belonged to. Martha, 591 00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:42,640 Speaker 3: Milton's wife, comes and stands by the table. She reminds 592 00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:45,360 Speaker 3: us that everything that Milton is is a result of 593 00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:48,000 Speaker 3: how he grew up. That the more we learn about 594 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,200 Speaker 3: one another, the more we'll understand. 595 00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:55,239 Speaker 7: Is if like archaeologist found a little piece of bond 596 00:34:55,719 --> 00:35:00,319 Speaker 7: and started digging, digging, digging in it. Oh, so he 597 00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:04,640 Speaker 7: didn't know that was a huge dinosaur there. You know 598 00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:09,080 Speaker 7: that is the same thing, and why this person is 599 00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:12,959 Speaker 7: like that, we don't know. And we start and when 600 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:17,640 Speaker 7: we start digging, we start knowing, Ah. 601 00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:18,000 Speaker 2: This happened. 602 00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:25,439 Speaker 7: Ah, I didn't know. Life is beautiful here and very complicated. 603 00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:38,760 Speaker 3: Yes, my mom and brother meet me at the hotel 604 00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:43,239 Speaker 3: where I'm staying the morning of the wedding. I feel guilty, 605 00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:45,240 Speaker 3: mostly because I guess I had hoped to have something 606 00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:48,440 Speaker 3: different to share with them. When I tell them everything 607 00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:53,880 Speaker 3: I've learned about my uncle, my grandfather, the abuse, they're quiet. 608 00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:56,239 Speaker 3: Then my mom says. 609 00:35:56,719 --> 00:36:01,160 Speaker 11: Not surprised. It would be nice to be surprised, you know, 610 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:05,719 Speaker 11: it would be nice to be surprised and learn that, 611 00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:09,360 Speaker 11: you know, he spent some time made a commitment to 612 00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:12,160 Speaker 11: not you know, to breaking the cycle of violence, to 613 00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:18,040 Speaker 11: parenting differently. And I'm sad to hear that Milton couldn't figure 614 00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:21,879 Speaker 11: that out too for his children. I'm sorry that they've 615 00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:26,440 Speaker 11: had to, you know, endure that, and I'm glad to 616 00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:30,120 Speaker 11: connect with them. I hope that they'll break that cycle. 617 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,200 Speaker 11: I hope that they will be different to their children 618 00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:36,759 Speaker 11: that can hold that kind of complexity that I don't 619 00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,080 Speaker 11: think Milton is the most horrible person in the world. 620 00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:42,600 Speaker 11: And I can see, I can see that he's there's 621 00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:46,719 Speaker 11: some part of him that's kind and good, but it 622 00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:50,200 Speaker 11: is also not okay. And if you think your parent 623 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:52,840 Speaker 11: did a horrible job, your job is to do the 624 00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:54,040 Speaker 11: opposite of what they did. 625 00:36:54,640 --> 00:37:00,399 Speaker 17: I feel like after hearing about our family, I kind 626 00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:04,759 Speaker 17: of understood more why you left a little bit. Not 627 00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:08,000 Speaker 17: that hanging out with Daisy and my cousins was terrible, 628 00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:10,239 Speaker 17: or hanging out hanging out with Milton was terrible or 629 00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:13,360 Speaker 17: anything like that, just more that, like hearing the background 630 00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:16,120 Speaker 17: and sort of like the behaviors that seemed to have 631 00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:21,759 Speaker 17: followed our family for generations, there was a lot to 632 00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:23,880 Speaker 17: take in, and I was like, you know, and this 633 00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:25,880 Speaker 17: isn't even my life, this isn't even to people that 634 00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:33,440 Speaker 17: I've been connected to for that long, So don't cry anyways. 635 00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:36,600 Speaker 17: I feel like it helped me to understand you more 636 00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:39,239 Speaker 17: and to understand why you did what you did. And 637 00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:43,080 Speaker 17: I'm happy that you ran away because you're an awesome 638 00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:44,799 Speaker 17: parent and you'd help take care of us and you 639 00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:47,920 Speaker 17: didn't give us that life or force us to be 640 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:48,840 Speaker 17: around that stuff. 641 00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:53,760 Speaker 11: You know, I do love you. I've always loved you 642 00:37:53,760 --> 00:38:00,160 Speaker 11: guys so much. I wanted you to be happy. That's safe. 643 00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:04,719 Speaker 11: I think my mom would have wanted that for you 644 00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:08,920 Speaker 11: guys too, and she would have left you guys. She 645 00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:12,319 Speaker 11: would have thought you guys were the cutest And if 646 00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:15,239 Speaker 11: she hadn't gotten sick, and she probably would have been 647 00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:17,520 Speaker 11: the kind of old lady that wore high heels and 648 00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:21,480 Speaker 11: put on makeup every day, she would have gone to 649 00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:28,720 Speaker 11: all your plays. She has that kind of mom. 650 00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:32,160 Speaker 3: Coincidentally enough, that's the kind of mom my mom is, 651 00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:36,880 Speaker 3: whether she realizes it or not. She became the family 652 00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:39,400 Speaker 3: that she had never had for me and my brother. 653 00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:42,960 Speaker 3: She gave us the childhood she was never given. She 654 00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:46,120 Speaker 3: protected us in the ways that she had never been protected. 655 00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:57,120 Speaker 3: When we arrived to the wedding, everything is still pretty quiet. 656 00:38:57,680 --> 00:38:59,360 Speaker 3: We find a couple of seats and I wait for 657 00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:02,760 Speaker 3: the signal to go back to join the procession. My mom, 658 00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:05,440 Speaker 3: my brother, and me have agreed we won't be attending 659 00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:08,400 Speaker 3: the wedding party. I think we're all just kind of 660 00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:12,399 Speaker 3: ready to be home. When the signal comes, I head 661 00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:14,680 Speaker 3: back and I catch a glimpse of Sahara and her 662 00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:18,600 Speaker 3: wedding dress. She looks beautiful with this crown of yellow 663 00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:22,359 Speaker 3: and pink flowers holding back her veil. Milton links arms 664 00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:24,560 Speaker 3: with her as she heads to the back of the procession. 665 00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:28,200 Speaker 3: There are so many things I want to tell him, 666 00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:32,520 Speaker 3: but this is not the time or place, So instead 667 00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:37,279 Speaker 3: I find my way to Martha's side. I know that 668 00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,480 Speaker 3: I've found something beautiful here, even though in this moment 669 00:39:40,719 --> 00:39:42,560 Speaker 3: it feels damaged beyond repair. 670 00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:46,480 Speaker 8: Perfect. 671 00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:48,160 Speaker 3: I have not found the part of me that has 672 00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:51,279 Speaker 3: been missing. I've not found out the answer to whether 673 00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:52,919 Speaker 3: or not Alicia looked for us. 674 00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:56,400 Speaker 8: Perfect then we got written, and then my flower Girls. 675 00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,280 Speaker 4: Okay, I need my Flower Girls, that's an issue. 676 00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:04,600 Speaker 3: But I have arrived at something important, something that cannot 677 00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:08,400 Speaker 3: be taken from me. I know where I belong and 678 00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:12,040 Speaker 3: where I'm from, that tiny corner of the world that 679 00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:15,160 Speaker 3: was built for just my brother, my mom, and me, 680 00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:32,520 Speaker 3: where my story of the Cavedos begins. 681 00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:44,000 Speaker 1: This episode was produced by Seer Quevedo and edited by 682 00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:47,520 Speaker 1: Marlon Bishop. It was mixed by Stephanie LAbau. The Latino 683 00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:52,839 Speaker 1: USA team includes Andrea Lobez, Grussado, Marta Martinez, Daisy Contreras, 684 00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:59,040 Speaker 1: Mike Sargent, Julieta Martinelli, victoriesrad Rinaldo Leo Junior, Alexandra Selassa, 685 00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:03,240 Speaker 1: Patrice Sulvanan, and Julia Rocha with help from Raoul Perez. 686 00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:07,840 Speaker 1: Our editorial director is Bernandes Santos. Our director of Engineering 687 00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:12,359 Speaker 1: is Stephanie Lebau. Our senior engineer is Julia Caruso. Our 688 00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:16,880 Speaker 1: associate engineers are Gabriel Lebayez and JJ Krubin. Our marketing 689 00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:21,000 Speaker 1: manager is Luis Luna. Our New York Women's Foundation Fellow 690 00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:25,000 Speaker 1: is Elizabeth Lowenthal Torres. Our theme music was composed by 691 00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:28,480 Speaker 1: signor Robinos I'm your host and executive producer Marienno Josa. 692 00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:30,800 Speaker 1: Join us again on our next episode and in the meantime, 693 00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:35,480 Speaker 1: look for us on social media and a guerda deyes Joo. 694 00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:42,000 Speaker 16: Latino USA is made possible in part by California Endowment 695 00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:45,880 Speaker 16: building a strong state by improving the health of all Californians, 696 00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:50,120 Speaker 16: the Ford Foundation working with visionaries on the front lines 697 00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:54,799 Speaker 16: of social change worldwide, and funding for Latino USA is 698 00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:57,840 Speaker 16: Coverage of a culture of health is made possible in 699 00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:00,680 Speaker 16: part by a grant from the Robert Wood Johnson and Foundation. 700 00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:07,440 Speaker 1: Yeah that looked like, wait, you mean you can hear me? 701 00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:12,120 Speaker 1: And it's like, honey, you're using a drill and we're 702 00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:15,840 Speaker 1: only twenty five feet away. Yeah, we can hear you. Honey, 703 00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:16,440 Speaker 1: I love you.