Speaker 1: I am Yambla, your host for this journey. I was
Speaker 1: a hopeless love aholic but just could not get my
Speaker 1: love to work. Then, after a series of heartbreaks and
Speaker 1: deep hearting, I finally got clear about what love is
Speaker 1: and what it is not. I want to share some
Speaker 1: of what I've learned about love a holism. Welcome to
Speaker 1: the r Side, a production of shondaland Audio in partnership
Speaker 1: with iHeart. Grand Day, Grand Day, Grand Day. How are
Speaker 1: you out there? Welcome to the special edition of The
Speaker 1: art Spot. The art Spot the place that we come
Speaker 1: to discuss relationships and investigate our relationship stories and our
Speaker 1: investigate our relationship experiences. We are here live on the
Speaker 1: art Spot today and I'm going to take your questions.
Speaker 1: I'm going to take your comments. I'm going to even
Speaker 1: invite you to be a guest. If you want to
Speaker 1: come up on the screen and talk to me, all
Speaker 1: you have to do is put it in the request
Speaker 1: and I'll see you and I'll bring you up. I
Speaker 1: want to talk about relationships today because it's coming up.
Speaker 1: You know, we're coming into the holiday season where coming
Speaker 1: out of the summer, we'll be home again, we'll be
Speaker 1: quiet again and relationships are just so challenging for us,
Speaker 1: and with all of the hooplah and conflomeration that's going
Speaker 1: on out there in the world, with the election and
Speaker 1: with everything that's going on, I want to make sure.
Speaker 1: I want to make sure that we have the skills
Speaker 1: and the tools and the information that we need to
Speaker 1: make our relationships better. Our relationship with ourself, our relationship
Speaker 1: with other people. How about our relationship with money. How
Speaker 1: about your relationship with your body? How about that? We
Speaker 1: are talking about all kinds of relationships. We're looking out
Speaker 1: in the world and we're seeing these relationships, you know.
Speaker 1: And somebody said something to me the other day that
Speaker 1: was very interesting. They said, the relationship between the two
Speaker 1: candidates that are running to be president of the United
Speaker 1: States reflects the relationships between men and women. I never
Speaker 1: even thought about that. We got a man running, we
Speaker 1: got a woman running, and there's all of this against
Speaker 1: this and competition. So that is what we are talking about.
Speaker 1: If you've got a question for me, I want you
Speaker 1: to put it in the chat, and if you want
Speaker 1: to come up on the screen and ask me a question,
Speaker 1: you can do that. What do you recommend I am
Speaker 1: ready to start dating again, but have been off the
Speaker 1: scene for five years. I suggest that you try to
Speaker 1: have fun. Don't go out dating looking for a permanent relationship.
Speaker 1: How about you have playdates? Do you know how to
Speaker 1: have a playdate? Do you just know how to go
Speaker 1: out and have some fun and be with somebody? So
Speaker 1: do that look good? Smell good? You know, it's like
Speaker 1: you're going to a buffet. All right, Taste a little
Speaker 1: bit of this, Taste a little bit of that, have
Speaker 1: a little bit, just have some fun. So very often
Speaker 1: we go out with so much seriousness in mind that
Speaker 1: we're not even fully present to the possibilities that are
Speaker 1: there for us. Go on and have some fun, have playdates.
Speaker 1: Just make sure you have birth control. Okay? Where else
Speaker 1: am I going here?
Speaker 2: So?
Speaker 1: Where are you and your relationships? What do you want
Speaker 1: to know about relationships? What are you thinking about relationships with?
Speaker 1: Relationships in your life are growing and thriving? And which
Speaker 1: relationships in your life are in breakdown? And how do
Speaker 1: you heal a breakdown? Listen? I have a thought that
Speaker 1: I want to share with you. Okay, you know, in
Speaker 1: our relationships what happens is we say we want someone
Speaker 1: that compliments us, and we usually pick someone that's very
Speaker 1: different than us, because opposite it's a track, right, opposite
Speaker 1: it's a track. So we attract someone who's opposite us,
Speaker 1: and we like everything about them, but because they're opposite
Speaker 1: from us, they're all so different. And when we see
Speaker 1: what's different about them than we want to change. We
Speaker 1: want them to change, to be more like us, to
Speaker 1: think like us, to want what we want, to do
Speaker 1: what we do. And if they don't, then we make
Speaker 1: up that they don't love us. How about that opposite's
Speaker 1: a track? How are you when you see something different
Speaker 1: than you, the opposite of what you are? Are you accepting?
Speaker 1: Are you tolerant? Or do you want to change it
Speaker 1: to keep yourself comfortable? That's the question we got here
Speaker 1: on the floor. Let me see what other questions that
Speaker 1: I have Tomorrow. Tomorrow eight wants to know. How can
Speaker 1: we be more open to receive love? This is how
Speaker 1: we can be more open to receive love. Learn to
Speaker 1: love yourself. Learn to love yourself. You gotta learn to
Speaker 1: love your bumps and your warts and your brilliance. You know.
Speaker 1: One of the reasons we can always find what's wrong
Speaker 1: with us, right, we can always find what's wrong with us.
Speaker 1: We're always picking on ourselves, picking our scabs and picking
Speaker 1: this and we didn't do this right, and that happened
Speaker 1: and this went bad. But we don't know how to
Speaker 1: stand fully in our greatness, in our power, stand in
Speaker 1: your power, and learn to love yourself being powerful. Somebody said,
Speaker 1: I want to be soft and pink. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: why not be bold and blue and green? How about that? Yes?
Speaker 1: How about be royal and rich. You don't have to
Speaker 1: be soft and pink if you're a woman, nor do
Speaker 1: you have to be base and black if you're a man.
Speaker 1: You can stand in your truth and your power and
Speaker 1: your glory and love yourself because you've got to know
Speaker 1: how that feels. You have to know what that is.
Speaker 1: And if you can't do it to yourself, you will
Speaker 1: misread and misjudge other people loving you. How do you
Speaker 1: open yourself to love? Spend more time with you, Spend
Speaker 1: more time with you, get to really know you. Learn
Speaker 1: how to stand in your strength in your weakness. Learn
Speaker 1: how to stand in your knowing and you're not knowing.
Speaker 1: Learn how to forgive yourself. Forgive, forgive, forgive. Everything is
Speaker 1: about forgiveness. Right now, we head an out of this
Speaker 1: eight year into a nine year out of twenty twenty
Speaker 1: four into twenty twenty five. And I'm telling you you
Speaker 1: do not want to carry resentment, bitterness, regret, remorse, sorrow, sadness,
Speaker 1: and grief. You don't want to take that into twenty
Speaker 1: twenty five. Hear me what I'm telling you? Okay, you
Speaker 1: do not, and we'll talk about that when we come back.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to accept people onto the stage. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to accept you, lamont to look for your thingy hoosy.
Speaker 1: Oh there you are?
Speaker 3: Hi?
Speaker 1: How are you? I'm good? How you doing?
Speaker 4: I'm doing awesome. I love the classes. I'm happy you
Speaker 4: accepted me. Now what are you doing home in the
Speaker 4: middle of the day. So I'm a dating coach?
Speaker 3: So I'm home doing coaching all the time, virtually.
Speaker 1: What the heck you mean? I'm doing the arts but
Speaker 1: live and my first guest is a dating coach. Ain't
Speaker 1: God great? Ain't God great?
Speaker 4: So the universe is connected? Yes? Yes?
Speaker 1: So what are some tips that you, as a dating
Speaker 1: coach would give people to that wonderful question? How can
Speaker 1: we be more open to receive love? What would you say, coach?
Speaker 3: Well, definitely, I think people sometimes don't want to put
Speaker 3: effort into it, Like we expect the other person to
Speaker 3: do all the work, to love, to court, to you know, forgive.
Speaker 4: But it's like, hey, how am I showing up? How
Speaker 4: am I.
Speaker 3: Making my partner feel safe, feel love, feel romantic? You know,
Speaker 3: I think people forget about the effort that we have
Speaker 3: to put into the relationship as well.
Speaker 1: But now let me ask you, mister dating coach Lamont,
Speaker 1: because you know, maybe because I'm old, I'm og, but
Speaker 1: relationships are not just about romance and fun and feeling good.
Speaker 1: I when I talk to people about relationships, I say,
Speaker 1: what are your creating together that's gonna benefit the world?
Speaker 1: What do you create? I don't care if it's a family,
Speaker 1: a book, a store. How about just being kind? How
Speaker 1: about being demonstrations of kindness and forgiveness? What are you
Speaker 1: creating together? Because you you know what? At my age,
Speaker 1: I can only take but twelve and a half minutes
Speaker 1: of romance?
Speaker 4: Right? I look, I totally agree.
Speaker 3: I agree people focus sometimes in the wrong thing, But
Speaker 3: I think if you both are connected to your purpose
Speaker 3: and your mission.
Speaker 4: And life, yes, that connects you all.
Speaker 3: That allows you all to be able to support each
Speaker 3: other even if your purpose and your missions are totally
Speaker 3: different in life, ye, right, like one one could be
Speaker 3: like in real estate, other could be like in counseling.
Speaker 3: But you still can show up for each other and
Speaker 3: support each other right there.
Speaker 1: Right there, right there. Wait a minute, day, didn't Coach
Speaker 1: Lamont dating Coach Lamont talk to me about how do
Speaker 1: you show up for your partner? Let's break that down
Speaker 1: into bite sized pieces right here on the art Spoint.
Speaker 1: This is a special edition of the art Spine the
Speaker 1: arm Spot Live. I'm on the street. How do you
Speaker 1: show up for your partner? Let's talk about what that is.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I think you both have to figure out
Speaker 3: what are your skill sets. So if you're good at finance,
Speaker 3: if you're good at like connecting the family, Like my
Speaker 3: brother is the one that calls everybody in the family
Speaker 3: every week. He keeps the aunts, the uncles, everybody connected.
Speaker 3: So if that's what your strength is, that's what you say.
Speaker 4: Hey, babe, I got this.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna take care of the finances for us. I'm
Speaker 3: gonna do this Excel spreadsheet. I'm gonna make sure our
Speaker 3: bills are paid. But I need you to make sure.
Speaker 4: You call my mom. So we don't, so.
Speaker 3: We can go to dinner, right, Yeah, and you have
Speaker 3: to you have to make sure it's not a pissing contest.
Speaker 1: Oh wait a minute, hold on, let's talk about a
Speaker 1: pissing contest.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Like, you can't be intimidated by the strengths of your partners.
Speaker 4: Okay, good. You have to like support them, let them, like,
Speaker 4: let them.
Speaker 3: Show up what their strengths are, and you know, give
Speaker 3: them space to do that. You know, I think, particularly
Speaker 3: for men, men like to a key.
Speaker 4: We like to conquer.
Speaker 3: So giving men tasks so that they can show that
Speaker 3: they're achieving something will make him stay with you and
Speaker 3: connect it with you for life.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 1: The other way, I think that we can show up
Speaker 1: for our partners. And this is hard to learn the
Speaker 1: distinction between listening and hearing, to learn how to listen
Speaker 1: to your partner without having to have a response, and
Speaker 1: to learn how to hear your partner without taking everything personally. See,
Speaker 1: we listen with our ears to the sound that's coming in,
Speaker 1: but so very young, and I think partners listen trying
Speaker 1: to formulate a response.
Speaker 4: Amen. Amen. I struggled with that with my husband.
Speaker 3: You'll say something and I'll say well, what did you.
Speaker 4: Mean to say? Like, I know you said this, but
Speaker 4: what did you really mean to say? Or what are
Speaker 4: you like? What what's the meaning behind that?
Speaker 3: Because my stuff will get in the way and he
Speaker 3: might say a word that triggers me and I'm like,
Speaker 3: wait a minute, Lamar, wait a minute, that's your stuff,
Speaker 3: asking what he really meant so that I can listen.
Speaker 1: Right, Okay, okay, So now mister dating Coast Lamont, the
Speaker 1: guru of relationship, they gonna do a little coaching right here. Okay,
Speaker 1: here's a here's another possibility. When he says something and
Speaker 1: you get triggered, repeat back to him, and this is
Speaker 1: for everybody. Let me tell you what I'm hearing you say. Yes,
Speaker 1: what I'm hearing you say is and if you get
Speaker 1: it twisted, they'll say, no, no, that's not what I said.
Speaker 1: But if you're honest in that moment and share what
Speaker 1: you're hearing as opposed to what he said or she said,
Speaker 1: this is for everybody, then that gives them an opportunity
Speaker 1: to clean it up. But that takes patience, and you
Speaker 1: use the very important word trigger because once we get triggered,
Speaker 1: now our hair is on fire and we're going in
Speaker 1: for the jugular and.
Speaker 4: Then you can't hear anything else.
Speaker 3: Now you're vulnerable in your feelings, and I will tell
Speaker 3: you you know, it takes time to be able to
Speaker 3: practice that muscle.
Speaker 4: And it's okay to say, you know what, I may
Speaker 4: mess up.
Speaker 3: Sometimes I might need to walk around the block and
Speaker 3: come back and have the conversation again. But it takes
Speaker 3: a level of self reflection and vulnerability to be able.
Speaker 4: To say that's my stuffy right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let me say this, Coach Lamont, I am so
Speaker 1: glad you're here. But listen, let's talk about forgiveness and relationships,
Speaker 1: because I'm on this forgiveness kid. I'm a ride this
Speaker 1: forgiveness horse until the end of the year because so
Speaker 1: very often in relationships, we make mistakes, we make missteps,
Speaker 1: we do you know. And I'm not talking about tragic
Speaker 1: you know, beat you and hit you in your head,
Speaker 1: shoot you, pull a gun on you, and that kind
Speaker 1: of stuff. I'm talking about hurt your feelings, disappoint you.
Speaker 1: Talk about for a moment. I'm gonna let you go
Speaker 1: after this, talk about for a moment how important it
Speaker 1: is for partners to learn how to forgive.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, your partner's always going to disappoint you. I was
Speaker 3: having a conversation with somebody last night. If you expect
Speaker 3: that your partner's never gonna disappoint you in that relationship,
Speaker 3: then you might as well just stay single or marry
Speaker 3: a robot, because you know, we disappoint each other in relationships,
Speaker 3: and it's really about how do you grow through disappointment?
Speaker 4: How do you forgive each other?
Speaker 3: And one things I've learned is that sometimes you have
Speaker 3: to model what forgiveness looks like. So like, okay, the
Speaker 3: mistake was there, let's talk about the mistake was how
Speaker 3: did we what did we learn from that? What did
Speaker 3: you want me to do in that situation? That could
Speaker 3: have been differently? And then when I say forgive you
Speaker 3: literally forgive you, heal that hurt and you move on, Yeah,
Speaker 3: you move on. Forgiveness is about moving on and not
Speaker 3: harping on it and bringing it back up six, eight,
Speaker 3: twelve months later, because guess what, you really didn't forgive.
Speaker 4: Yes, you just put a candate on it. That's right.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for coming on.
Speaker 4: Thank you so much, Thank you for all you do.
Speaker 1: Thank you Bye bye. Listen, Sandra, look how the universe
Speaker 1: is my first guess on the show is a dating
Speaker 1: coach and look at that and we'll talk about that
Speaker 1: when we come back. Welcome back to the R spot. Okay,
Speaker 1: let me go back over here, Camille Lee. I think
Speaker 1: I've accepted your invitation, I mean your request. Look there
Speaker 1: and see if you can come up with me. Good afternoon,
Speaker 1: my beloved. How are you good? Do you have a mine?
Speaker 2: So? I'm fine?
Speaker 4: Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Good? Now you are you in the mall? Are you shopping?
Speaker 2: Got?
Speaker 1: Okay? Yeah? So you have a question you want to
Speaker 1: bring to the floor.
Speaker 2: Yes I do. I'm thirty seven, if that matters. I've
Speaker 2: been married for eight years now, and me and my
Speaker 2: husband keep coming to this point where we're button heads
Speaker 2: and he will get into conflict and I'll tell him
Speaker 2: what my issue is with him.
Speaker 1: And he'll just I can't do anything right.
Speaker 2: I won't say anything. And the last time we got
Speaker 2: into got into it, he said that he feels like
Speaker 2: I hate our home. And I'm just like, where is
Speaker 2: this coming from?
Speaker 4: I don't hate oh.
Speaker 1: Say that guy?
Speaker 2: He told me that he feels like that I hate
Speaker 2: our home and I was like no, I was like,
Speaker 2: until I tell you that that's not true. And so
Speaker 2: when I actually got him to sit down and talk
Speaker 2: to me, it seemed like I.
Speaker 4: Hear him coming down.
Speaker 2: I don't really want to maker, but it seemed like
Speaker 2: he was telling me that basically he doesn't feel safe
Speaker 2: with telling me his concerns because he said every time
Speaker 2: that he says something, he's punished for it. And yeah,
Speaker 2: and he's like he's been feeling this way for ten years,
Speaker 2: and he basically doesn't come to me with conflict or
Speaker 2: issues because he feels like he'll go into I can't
Speaker 2: do anything right. It's all my fault, you know. And
Speaker 2: that's kind of where we get stuck. Nothing really gets resolved,
Speaker 2: and we're just right there. And I told him I
Speaker 2: wanted to sit down and I attempted to have a
Speaker 2: clearing conversation and say, you know, I think we both
Speaker 2: have assumptions about each other. What can we do? What
Speaker 2: can I do? I don't hate our house. I'm an
Speaker 2: entrepreneur photographer, so I like to leave my house and
Speaker 2: go co work or go places that will inspire me.
Speaker 2: And I was trying to explain that to him. He
Speaker 2: was like, you must either hate the house or you
Speaker 2: hate me. That makes more sense, and for him to
Speaker 2: say that, I was like, what what do you mean?
Speaker 4: So we just keep.
Speaker 2: Coming right here when it comes to communication and in
Speaker 2: our relationship, and I just don't really know where to
Speaker 2: go to help him feel comfortable talking to me or
Speaker 2: telling me when he when he has issues with me.
Speaker 2: It's always me being like, hey, babe, do you mind
Speaker 2: doing this? Or do you mind doing this? But I
Speaker 2: always do my best to say how can I support you?
Speaker 2: What can I do to help you with xyz? And
Speaker 2: we're just right there when it comes to communication.
Speaker 1: Wow, there's a lot in there. There is a lot
Speaker 1: in there at all.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so he is really communicating something to you. He
Speaker 1: doesn't feel safe with you, No, he doesn't. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: it may be because of his listening.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 1: I say this all the time, and I hear people
Speaker 1: stealing it and using it. Thank you God, men work
Speaker 1: with the three p's. Provide, provide, perform, and please provide
Speaker 1: for you. Perform for you. That means do the things
Speaker 1: that are bring a smile to your face and please
Speaker 1: you in the bed, out of the bed, around the house,
Speaker 1: put the toilets he down, take the trash out, whatever
Speaker 1: those are. The men's three p's. When they're not living
Speaker 1: into their three peas, sometimes what gets triggered in them
Speaker 1: is a level of inadequacy, and inadequacy in a man's
Speaker 1: consciousness is kryptonite. And then what he'll do is what's normal.
Speaker 1: Let me not say what he'll do. What's normal for
Speaker 1: a man to do is project it outward. Something somebody's
Speaker 1: doing makes them feel inadequate or unworthy or lack of value.
Speaker 1: So that's him. A woman's place are the three a's. Affirm, appreciate,
Speaker 1: and acknowledge. Affirm him. Yes, you know, I just love
Speaker 1: the way you walk that trash to the corner. I
Speaker 1: see your butt moving when you walk in that trash
Speaker 1: to the corner. I just get so excited. You are
Speaker 1: the best trash taker hout in the world. You are
Speaker 1: the best toilet seat. Put it down, you know. Affirm him.
Speaker 1: Men need to be affirmed from the heart of a woman.
Speaker 1: Appreciate him. Thank you so much for the way you
Speaker 1: rub my feet. Thank you so much for how you
Speaker 1: clean your platelet. Thank you so appreciation. They need to appreciate,
Speaker 1: and when we don't appreciate them, they come to the
Speaker 1: feeling that nothing they do is right, nothing they do
Speaker 1: is enough. And the other one is acknowledge. Acknowledge his greatness,
Speaker 1: acknowledges his gifts, acknowledge his talents. And you don't have
Speaker 1: to walk around like a robot saying it all the time,
Speaker 1: but you do have to practice those three a's so
Speaker 1: that he feels good about practicing his three p's. And
Speaker 1: then if there's any one of those p's where he's weak,
Speaker 1: like if you're the main provider and he's the you
Speaker 1: know he makes less than you really got to affirm
Speaker 1: thank you so much for how hard you work, and
Speaker 1: you know, so it sounds to me a that he
Speaker 1: needs more. First of all, I don't know where he
Speaker 1: is in his pleate, in his piece. Okay, he.
Speaker 2: Provides, he provides, He takes care of all the bills.
Speaker 2: He is the main provider. I take care of like
Speaker 2: the supplementary things. And he's even taken my car note
Speaker 2: from me. He provides amazing. With that, he gets frustrated
Speaker 2: because at the end of the month he feels like
Speaker 2: he doesn't have anything to show, and he gets frustrated.
Speaker 4: He's like, I want to pay this off. I want
Speaker 4: to pay this off.
Speaker 2: He was very aggressive and pound of our house, and
Speaker 2: he looks at he gets frustrated by debt. He's like,
Speaker 2: I need to pay this off, and it's always weighing
Speaker 2: on him. So I try to be supportive. Have they
Speaker 2: were so fortunate to have the house we got, And
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 1: Here's another possibility. Instead of you trying to be supportive,
Speaker 1: A way to affirm him is to say, how can
Speaker 1: I support you?
Speaker 4: I do?
Speaker 2: Okay, He'll say, as long as you're happy, just be happy.
Speaker 4: He'll never give me.
Speaker 1: He doesn't he but he gave it to you. He
Speaker 1: don't feel safe with you. And there's a mistake I
Speaker 1: think that women often make in relationships with men, and
Speaker 1: here it is men want to know that their thoughts
Speaker 1: are respected. So you know, we think different. Men think
Speaker 1: in headlines. We think in fine print. So he may
Speaker 1: have a headline thing and you'll say that don't even
Speaker 1: make no damn sense. But no, no, no, no no,
Speaker 1: you got to zip your lip, zip your lip, get
Speaker 1: you a chip clip, put it on your lips, and
Speaker 1: do not you know, because for us, we sense and
Speaker 1: we feel they think and sometimes what they're thinking, if
Speaker 1: we can't sense it or feel it, will dismiss it,
Speaker 1: will diminish it. Okay. You gotta be real careful with that.
Speaker 1: So here's what I'm gonna give you some and key
Speaker 1: phrases that you can start to use. When he says
Speaker 1: something that don't make no damn sense to you, say wow,
Speaker 1: tell me more about that. Tell me more about that, okay.
Speaker 1: And when he says he or you didn't do or
Speaker 1: you should do it okay, or you make me feel whatever,
Speaker 1: say okay, tell me how can I do it differently?
Speaker 1: How can I do it differently and get from him
Speaker 1: what he needs from you? And if you can do it,
Speaker 1: say okay, help me work on that. If it's something
Speaker 1: you can't do, be honest and say you know why.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure I can do that, but I can
Speaker 1: do this, okay, So tell me more about that. When
Speaker 1: he gives you an idea that you know, step up
Speaker 1: like this is not gonna be We've got to be
Speaker 1: mindful because it's so easy for us to slip in
Speaker 1: the mother ring and correction, which do I'm grown and
Speaker 1: ask man says she don't respect my thinking. He wants
Speaker 1: to know that his thinking is respected. You want to
Speaker 1: know that your feelings matter, So I guarantee you that
Speaker 1: somewhere along the line he doesn't honor, or affirm or
Speaker 1: appreciate your feelings. Would that be accurate?
Speaker 4: I feel like he tries to.
Speaker 1: He may not know how to, so he might have
Speaker 1: some stuff going on with him that don't have nothing
Speaker 1: to do with you. Do you love this man, dear?
Speaker 1: Are you committed to the relationship?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 1: I am recommend counseling, he said, yes. Okay, Well, what
Speaker 1: the hell are you calling me for a bye? What
Speaker 1: the heck? I just spent seventeen minutes with you. Go
Speaker 1: get you a counselor and get yourself together. Bye, But
Speaker 1: work with those languages and remember you're a firm acknowledge appreciate. Okay,
Speaker 1: a firm acknowledge appreciate. Okay, thank you, baby, thank you
Speaker 1: for calling. That was really good. Go get you a counselor. Hey, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try to see if I can get Ricky
Speaker 1: in here. But don't forget now to you my listeners
Speaker 1: out there. You know, ladies, you've got to remember we
Speaker 1: can't always correct. That's when we slip into mothering. You know,
Speaker 1: they say things and we want them to do it
Speaker 1: this way or that way. We can always correct sometimes
Speaker 1: we just have to let them be and it don't
Speaker 1: make no sense. Clip your lips, Go get one of
Speaker 1: them potato chip clips and put it on your mouth,
Speaker 1: and don't say another thing. Let me see if I've
Speaker 1: got another question over here? What can I do with
Speaker 1: myself to attract a man that will love me correctly? Well?
Speaker 1: I don't know what loving you correctly is? What does
Speaker 1: that mean? And why do you have to do anything
Speaker 1: to yourself? I don't know what does love you correctly mean?
Speaker 2: See?
Speaker 1: How about just listen? Listen? When you get out of
Speaker 1: the bed in the morning, do you worry about gravity? No,
Speaker 1: you just swing your legs over to the side of
Speaker 1: the bed, put your feet down, put your feet down,
Speaker 1: and you know gravity is gonna work. Did you know
Speaker 1: that love is the same way? Love just is? It
Speaker 1: is here, it is present. The challenge for us is
Speaker 1: how do we just be in the love? How do
Speaker 1: we just be there and experience moment by moment? You know,
Speaker 1: we go on a date and already we're getting a
Speaker 1: wedding invitations, or we meet somebody and we're looking at
Speaker 1: their social psycho history. How can you just be in
Speaker 1: the moment? How can you just be love is there.
Speaker 1: It's all the way there. The question is how you
Speaker 1: know if you've only got a little pin hole in
Speaker 1: your heart because your mama hurts you, your daddy hurts you,
Speaker 1: the first man left you the baby daddy don't pay
Speaker 1: y'all support, the people on the job don't like you.
Speaker 1: If you've only got a little pin hole in your heart,
Speaker 1: how much love can you let in? And how much
Speaker 1: love will you let out? That is the question. But
Speaker 1: our time today is over, so thank you for tuning
Speaker 1: in for the special edition of The R Spot Live.
Speaker 1: Coming to you Live, You coming to me Live. I
Speaker 1: think we may just do this again. Bye bye. The
Speaker 1: R Spot is a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership
Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio. More podcasts from Shondaland Audio, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.