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Speaker 1: No, you just do it. You just do it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, cram your feet into those budget point shoes and

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Speaker 2: get on with the fucking show.

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Speaker 3: More more, more and more and more better, more, more,

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Speaker 3: a little better More.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to More Better, a podcast where we stop pretending

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Speaker 1: to have it all together and embrace the journey of

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Speaker 1: becoming a little more better every day, or at least

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Speaker 1: trying to. Yeah, that's Wilson fer Maro. Guys, we're really

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Speaker 1: on a great start. That's Wilson fer Marro.

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Speaker 2: And that's Stephanie Beatriz.

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Speaker 1: Hi. Welcome to the new year. This has been pretty

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Speaker 1: much how my new year's been going.

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Speaker 2: How about you, Yeah, girls, same same, yeah, just yeah,

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Speaker 2: tripping and stumbling through the beginning of this new year.

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Speaker 2: It's rough.

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Speaker 1: It's rough out here.

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Speaker 2: My friend is moving on. I think it's February seventeenth,

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Speaker 2: and he told me that someone told him that's the

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Speaker 2: day that the snake leaves and the horse enters. So

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Speaker 2: I've decided that that's the actual New Year day. I

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Speaker 2: love that we're just still living in the end of

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Speaker 2: twenty twenty five.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, that's correct.

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Speaker 4: So many I need mornings I read were like this

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Speaker 4: isn't this is just the calendar year, and it's like,

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Speaker 4: not the seasonal beginning. This is still it's cold out,

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Speaker 4: it's not there's not no lunar new year.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, I need more time. I need

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Speaker 2: more time.

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Speaker 1: I need more time. I need more time. I just

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Speaker 1: got my Christmas decorations down. I feel like I just

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Speaker 1: I'm still like there's still presence that I I'm like

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Speaker 1: do I what do I? How do I? I've got

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Speaker 1: to clean out my closet.

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Speaker 2: No, no, oh, okay, no, you know you're fine, you're

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Speaker 2: doing great. I also saw I want to rereads hanging

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Speaker 2: on the front of my house.

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Speaker 1: That's fine, that's fine, that's fine. I mean I want

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Speaker 1: to make room for the new stuff that I'm getting.

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Right to make room?

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Speaker 2: Are you getting? Are you getting new stuff? Okay? You

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Speaker 2: know you know what have I done? Maybe that's more better.

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Speaker 1: I've been shopping. Yeah, when you're back to shopping, then

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Speaker 1: I am mixed, like I am on a. I am

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Speaker 1: on a like what do I need from my cloth?

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Speaker 1: That's what I've been doing. I've been like calling for

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Speaker 1: my closet, being like do I use this? I don't

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Speaker 1: use this? What do I need for my actual life,

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Speaker 1: Like what do I need? The other day, I was

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Speaker 1: invited to an event and I didn't have I didn't

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Speaker 1: have the right shoes. I have so many pairs of

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Speaker 1: cowboy boots, but I had no black heels to weord

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Speaker 1: with this event. And I was like, so I put

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Speaker 1: together an outfit and it was fine, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: I need black. I don't have any black high heels.

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Speaker 1: Like I don't have any nice shoes to wear to

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Speaker 1: an event. Yeah, what about you?

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Speaker 2: It's a pair of black heels and a pair of

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Speaker 2: you need one? Sorry?

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Speaker 3: Better?

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Speaker 2: I have.

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Speaker 1: No no, no?

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Speaker 2: My more better this week has been I've gotten back

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Speaker 2: to my moving and working out and just starting there,

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Speaker 2: like also trying to like get back to like eating

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Speaker 2: better and stuff. But I'm also just like it all

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Speaker 2: feels like a lot right now, So I'm like, just

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Speaker 2: start with movement, just like start with the working out

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Speaker 2: and trying to get in your your like four days

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Speaker 2: this week and and just we're just starting there. So

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Speaker 2: we're being gentle with ourselves. Yeah that's good. It's more

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Speaker 2: and better. Yeah, that's very good, and it's helped, it

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Speaker 2: has helped a lot.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, more better.

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Speaker 2: What are we talking about today, Steph.

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Speaker 1: Today we're doing another mail bag.

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Speaker 2: Wooo mail bag. You know.

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Speaker 1: And let me just say right now, obviously we're not

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Speaker 1: the people you should be listening to for any kind

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Speaker 1: of advice. However, No, now we're friends. You're friends with

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Speaker 1: us now, so this is what you get. You get

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Speaker 1: what you get, and you don't get upset. Okay, uh, thank.

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Speaker 2: We're just gonna talk to you like you're our friends.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this is what we would get. This is the

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Speaker 1: advice basically, we would give to each other. Probably we

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Speaker 1: might disagree, but that's also part of being friends. But

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Speaker 1: these are from you, guys. Thank you guys for your

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Speaker 1: emails and your comments and your reviews of the pod.

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Speaker 1: It's really nice. And today we're gonna read some of

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Speaker 1: the stuff that you sent to us. We're gonna answer

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Speaker 1: some questions. We're gonna read your emails. So let's party.

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Speaker 2: Let's do it. Shall I read the first one?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 2: Yes, this one is from a listener. I apologize. I

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Speaker 2: don't know if your name is pronounced Giva or Jieva. Giva,

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Speaker 2: Jieva rights Hi, Sephanie and Melissa. I'm gonna call you

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Speaker 2: baby g baby g all right, baby g writes, Hi,

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Speaker 2: Sephanie and Melissa, I just wanted to say how much

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Speaker 2: I adore More Better. It's genuinely become the highlight of

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Speaker 2: my week. Oh, I also wanted to share an episode

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Speaker 2: idea that would be I would be so excited to

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Speaker 2: hear your dance backgrounds and your relationship with movement today.

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Speaker 2: Hearing in past episodes that you both grew up dancing,

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Speaker 2: I'd love to hear more on what you trained in,

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Speaker 2: what you loved or didn't, and how movement shows up

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Speaker 2: in your lives now. I'd also love to know how

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Speaker 2: dance and movement have shaped you both as artists. As

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Speaker 2: the artist you are today I can read. I'm part

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Speaker 2: of a Chicago based South Asian women led dance troupe

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Speaker 2: called Emmeya Performing Arts, and we just had a showcase

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Speaker 2: called Within about a family's journey from silence to connection

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Speaker 2: and one of the pieces used the instrumental of surface

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Speaker 2: pressure from Nkanto, which made my heart very happy knowing

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Speaker 2: Steph as part of the movie. Thank you both for

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Speaker 2: creating something so heartfelt, thoughtful, and genuinely joyful. With lots

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Speaker 2: of love and appreciation, bebby Gee, Baby Ge that's so nice,

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Speaker 2: so nice. I love this question. Yeah, we both have

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Speaker 2: a lot of dance in our backgrounds. I started that

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Speaker 2: was my intro into the world performing arts. My mom

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Speaker 2: put me in dance class, like lots of moms do

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Speaker 2: with their daughters at like age four.

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Speaker 3: Uh.

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Speaker 2: And when I got to around age like nine and ten,

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Speaker 2: when other girls started dropping out to like do sports

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Speaker 2: or they just weren't into it anymore, I kept going

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Speaker 2: and I was I started with a bunch of friends,

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Speaker 2: and then I was like last girl standing. And then

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Speaker 2: I followed a dance teacher from the rec center to

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Speaker 2: an actual dance studio when I was like ten, and

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Speaker 2: that dance studio had a bunch of like theater and

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Speaker 2: musical theater classes, and so then that's how my world

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Speaker 2: opened up to that. But yeah, it was a lot

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Speaker 2: of ballet, a lot of jazz, a lot of modern

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Speaker 2: occasional tap. I am so bad at tap dancing, yeah, Hilariously.

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Speaker 2: In college, the way the dance track was in my

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Speaker 2: studio was if you were in the advanced level, you

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Speaker 2: had to take advanced everything. So I had to be

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Speaker 2: in the advanced tap class.

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Speaker 1: I'm just clomp clomping away. Next to everybody just.

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Speaker 5: Really literally girl literally sorry in the back of the room,

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Speaker 5: just murdering, butchering the art of tap dancing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I continued to dance until like

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Speaker 2: my early thirties.

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Speaker 1: Yeah wow, But you don't take dance classes now, like

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Speaker 1: you never go like to like how come you just

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Speaker 1: show everybody up? No.

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Speaker 2: When I moved to LA, I was really intimidated to

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Speaker 2: go to some of the studios here because I'm like,

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Speaker 2: weirdly a creature of habit and I don't know, I

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Speaker 2: just couldn't like balls up and like get there. Like

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Speaker 2: and LA dancers have like a really different style I

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Speaker 2: think from New York. They're like just different stylistically from

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Speaker 2: New York dancers. So I don't know, I just I

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Speaker 2: mean I struggled with that in New York too, sometimes,

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Speaker 2: Like I went to the same teachers the same classes

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Speaker 2: at Broadway Dance and at Steps, and I would be

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Speaker 2: scared to try like new classes. I don't know why.

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Speaker 2: I just I don't know. So yeah I didn't really uh,

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Speaker 2: I just didn't try. And then time went on and

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Speaker 2: I got older, and I just I just never went back.

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Speaker 2: I had to like dance here and there for like

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Speaker 2: little things that popped up, and that was always fine

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Speaker 2: because you're just like with the choreographer. But but yeah,

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Speaker 2: I haven't like dance danced in probably oh like twelve years.

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Speaker 1: Do you miss it? Do you like miss I?

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Speaker 2: I do? I do. I have like I still have

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Speaker 2: like dance dreams. And it's kind of funny because you can.

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Speaker 2: I can still remember what it feels like physically to

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Speaker 2: like turn and jump and like the flow of it.

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Speaker 2: And I'll do little things like you know, I incorporate

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Speaker 2: some stuff in like my warm ups when I work

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Speaker 2: out and stuff, and I my toes cramp when I

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Speaker 2: point them now, which really bothers me. So then and

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Speaker 2: when it happens a lot, I'll like really like a

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Speaker 2: lot of foot exercises and like relevance get it back

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Speaker 2: so I can get it back because I don't like that.

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Speaker 2: But yeah I do. I do miss it. But I

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Speaker 2: mean also like I'll try to do like five seconds

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Speaker 2: of something and my whole body is like, bitch, no,

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Speaker 2: we don't do this anymore. Ah, why are you trying

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Speaker 2: to turn out out?

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Speaker 1: That's so stop it.

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Speaker 2: Like my body just like instantly revolts. Yeah, that definitely.

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Speaker 1: Is part of the change of like having danced when

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Speaker 1: you were young, and like, you know, your body is

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Speaker 1: just like this piece of jelly with muscles on it,

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Speaker 1: like your bones just do whatever, and you're like my

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Speaker 1: leg up here. And then aging definitely changes the it

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Speaker 1: changes it, you know, even if you're still dancing, even

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Speaker 1: if you're still a dancer, it's like there's just repet

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Speaker 1: I mean, I saw this thing the other day that

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Speaker 1: was cheerleading in the nineteen eighties and nineties is so

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Speaker 1: different than it is now. And a lot of girls

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Speaker 1: that were competitive cheerleaders at that time are now getting

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Speaker 1: like knee and hip replacements and they're like our age

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Speaker 1: right because the stuff was so hard on their bodies

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Speaker 1: and they just did it because they were sixteen years old,

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Speaker 1: seventeen years old and they just did it right. And

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Speaker 1: so like there is a cost to repetitive movement with

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Speaker 1: your body if you're not careful with it, and you're

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Speaker 1: not you know, and like the world has changed so

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Speaker 1: much now there's like stuff you can do and different

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Speaker 1: ways to eat, and like different ways to train and

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Speaker 1: different stuff you can do safer whatever whatever. You know,

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Speaker 1: like your shoes are different. You can get fitted for

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Speaker 1: this and that or whatever. But it's like at the

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Speaker 1: time when we were young, it was just like no,

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Speaker 1: you just do it, You just do it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, cram your feet into those budget point shoes and

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Speaker 2: get on with the fucking show.

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Speaker 1: I think my relationship with like moving my body has

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Speaker 1: really changed. Like I am much more likely to put

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Speaker 1: myself out there and try even if I look kind

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Speaker 1: of stupid. I really desperately and talk to me the

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Speaker 1: year because I don't know if I'm going to do

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Speaker 1: it or not. But like I desperately want to find

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Speaker 1: like a like a palm class, like a Pom pom

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Speaker 1: class here in LA and like ooh, I want to

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Speaker 1: like learn how to do like cheer and drill again,

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Speaker 1: but not like heavy cheer, Like I'm not I like

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Speaker 1: can't tumble. I'm not gonna do any of that stuff.

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Speaker 1: But like I want to like like Dallas cowbirl style,

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Speaker 1: like I kept getting on my d like all these

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Speaker 1: like Dallas cowgirls. Uh, it's like this like workshop, this

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Speaker 1: like training workshop that you can just like pay to

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Speaker 1: go to and they like source from there, but like

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of women in there that are obviously

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Speaker 1: not going to try out, right, Like they have full

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Speaker 1: time jobs or whatever, but they just like took this

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Speaker 1: week for themselves and are like learning the dances. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, I want to do this. It looked

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Speaker 1: so fun. It looked so fun.

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Speaker 2: I would you wish there were more adult dance and

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Speaker 2: like movement classes for like people like like you have

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Speaker 2: to be over thirty or thirty five to attend this class,

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Speaker 2: and fine if you've never danced or if you used

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Speaker 2: to dance, but like those are the you know what

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Speaker 2: I mean, Like no pros, like we're not. I love

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Speaker 2: that pros are not allowed parameter.

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Speaker 1: I love the age parameter of like thirty to thirty

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Speaker 1: five professional dancers are discouraged from joining us. This is

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Speaker 1: for non nationals only.

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Speaker 3: Ooh.

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Speaker 1: I love that. Maybe we could try to like get

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Speaker 1: somebody to put together we could class because.

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Speaker 2: Didn't you and I do a ballet class together once?

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Speaker 1: Yes? And then like you were pregnant or something and

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Speaker 1: we stopped. Yeah. I was like, you got pregnant. You're like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I gotta do class one. But it

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Speaker 1: was fun and it was hard. It was hard.

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Speaker 2: It was hard.

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Speaker 1: It was how is your foot doing that?

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Speaker 2: And I remember it was a good one because it

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Speaker 2: was like it was it was pretty much all adults

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Speaker 2: and people who used to dance. It wasn't like intimidating.

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Speaker 2: It was just very like.

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Speaker 1: It was nice.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was nice, but I remember it was far

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Speaker 2: too The location was not ideal.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was silver lacing. It wasn't it wasn't great.

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Speaker 2: We should find something. How do you feel Do you

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Speaker 2: feel like dance and movement is like a part of

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Speaker 2: your work as an actor that's really good physical Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I do feel that way. I mean it's intimidating for sure.

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Speaker 1: Like the way that you felt in your top class

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Speaker 1: and your advanced top class is the way that I

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Speaker 1: felt learning choreography for in the Heights. I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh no, I was a girl. Girl.

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Speaker 2: You pulled it off though no, I was watching you.

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Speaker 2: I was like, she got the steps, she's on time,

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Speaker 2: she is on this.

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Speaker 1: Theme right now, I'm the meme with the fingernails here

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Speaker 1: like this. But like I here's here's what I did though,

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Speaker 1: Like I would go every day, like I would be

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Speaker 1: in the back and I would ask for extra help.

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Speaker 1: I would ask the other dancers and the other dance

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Speaker 1: The professional dancers were super nice to me because they

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Speaker 1: could tell like I'll struggle struggle bus right, like yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then I would wake up early. I would wake

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Speaker 1: up early before rehearsals and practice. I would ask the

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Speaker 1: choreographers to like film it, film themselves doing it for

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Speaker 1: me so I could slow down and do it and whatever.

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Speaker 1: But like, yeah, smart, I lost a lot of sleep

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Speaker 1: over that, you know, because I was super super stressed.

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Speaker 1: And now I look back and I wish I hadn't

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Speaker 1: lost the sleep. I wish I just would have been

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Speaker 1: like kinder to myself about it. But I am glad

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Speaker 1: that I put in that extra work because I do

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Speaker 1: think the extra work showed because like you could in

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Speaker 1: the movie, like you can see it, like I'm in

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Speaker 1: step with everybody, absolutely with everybody.

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Speaker 2: You're a lot.

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Speaker 1: It's because I put in that bed work. I don't

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Speaker 1: think I could go to an audition and like if

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Speaker 1: they were like you're gonna learn, like, you know, sixty

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Speaker 1: accounts of this dance right now and then we're gonna

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Speaker 1: show it at the end of this thirty minutes, I'd

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Speaker 1: be absolutely fucked up. Like I can't learn choreography, and

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Speaker 1: that's I know, like if I practiced learning goreography, it.

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Speaker 2: Is a muscle.

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Speaker 1: It is. That's a muscle.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, that is a muscle that like like memorizing lines.

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Speaker 2: If you're doing it all the time, it just like

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Speaker 2: comes faster. And I do miss picking up choreography because

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Speaker 2: it's also really good for your brain. Yeah, it's really

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Speaker 2: good for your brain. Like it's like doing a crossword puzzle.

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Speaker 2: It's like doing but for your body like mental like

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Speaker 2: but yeah, yeah yeah.

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Speaker 1: So what I'm hearing from this is that maybe we

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Speaker 1: need to we gotta find want to listen, how funny

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Speaker 1: would it be to go to Dallas for like a week,

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Speaker 1: take that course and just like be incognito, Like what

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Speaker 1: is that? What's that movie? Oh? God? I can't remember it,

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Speaker 1: but like just like go incognito, like you know, no,

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Speaker 1: and he knows who we are, and we're just like

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Speaker 1: in the back like kind of like not good at it,

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Speaker 1: but like also kind of good. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, let's do it, molls, Like come on, all right,

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Speaker 2: I send me the info. I might be down, I

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Speaker 2: might pay down. Okay, I might be down.

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Speaker 1: More better, more better, All right, let's do that. Let's

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Speaker 1: do the second question.

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Speaker 2: All right, let's do the second one.

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Speaker 1: Hi, Sephanie Melissa listening to your podcast, Oh this is

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Speaker 1: this is our producer titled this One's Secret Animosity from

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Speaker 1: Laney or Lannie? Not sure? Hi, Sephanie, Melissa listening to

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Speaker 1: your podcast genuinely feels like having two older sisters. That's

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Speaker 1: very sweet. I'd love your thoughts on how to recognize

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Speaker 1: secret animosity and friendships. Honey. I've been part of a

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Speaker 1: group of four girls I've known since childhood. When we're together,

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Speaker 1: it's fun. But my struggle is when we're not together.

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Speaker 1: I've noticed that they rarely show support when it matters.

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Speaker 1: When I released original music on Spotify, my hobby, started

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Speaker 1: my small business, or was even hospitalized, none of them

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Speaker 1: reached out. What social media, they rarely comment or like

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Speaker 1: my posts. Yeah, I see them hyping up our mutual

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Speaker 1: friends in the comments and promoting others businesses and their stories.

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Speaker 1: They also take weeks to reply to my messages, but

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Speaker 1: when we're together, they're constantly on their phones. I eventually

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Speaker 1: stopped reaching out, and now the only time we really

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Speaker 1: talk is to exchange birthday messages. Would I be wrong

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Speaker 1: to slowly let these friendships fade? Thank you so much

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Speaker 1: for reading. I really love a podcast.

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Speaker 2: Girl, those friends suck.

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Speaker 1: They suck.

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Speaker 2: They sucks. You were in the hop hospital and not

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Speaker 2: one of them was like, hey are you okay? Do

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Speaker 2: you need anything? But those guys boo. Now I will

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Speaker 2: say this.

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Speaker 1: Social media is not really Yeah I would, I would,

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Speaker 1: and yeah, it's not a way to like I don't

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Speaker 1: I've said this before on the pop, but like, I

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Speaker 1: don't have Instagram on my phone. I look at it

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Speaker 1: once in a while on my iPad, so I miss

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Speaker 1: a lot of messages unless my friends are texting me directly,

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Speaker 1: I don't. I don't see it, like I miss people's

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Speaker 1: birthdays and stuff like that because like I'm just not

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Speaker 1: on Instagram like every day looking at stories. So that

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Speaker 1: part I would say, like maybe leave that out. But

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Speaker 1: if you text someone and say like, hey, I'm really

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Speaker 1: proud of this thing that I did, I'd love it

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Speaker 1: if you could post and they don't or like yeah,

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Speaker 1: they don't get back to you, Like I don't know

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Speaker 1: that yeah, Like yeah.

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Speaker 2: So it reminds me too of like I had this

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Speaker 2: friend in my twenties who we were really really close

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Speaker 2: for a long time, but then at a certain point

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Speaker 2: I started to realize that only if we were out

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Speaker 2: to dinner at the bar at a club, would like

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Speaker 2: she be there and like hang out. Whenever we would

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Speaker 2: have more intimate hangouts at our apartment or a little

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Speaker 2: part like small parties, she would come to the big parties,

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Speaker 2: small parties. She'd come for maybe an hour and then

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Speaker 2: she'd like peace out. And it was like it wasn't

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Speaker 2: until one of my other friends was like, do you

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Speaker 2: notice how so and so like it's never down for

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Speaker 2: like the quality time, like the friend time, like the

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Speaker 2: the more intimate when we're like getting deep, like you know,

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Speaker 2: our late night convos. And I was like, damn. They

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Speaker 2: were like, she only shows up when it's like a

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Speaker 2: fun party time. And then I like had me surgery

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Speaker 2: and again like didn't even reach out really till she

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Speaker 2: needed something. And I was like, oh, I don't think

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Speaker 2: this is a good friend. I don't think this is

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Speaker 2: you know. So there's something like I hear what she's

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Speaker 2: saying that like when they're together, it's fun and they

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Speaker 2: have a good time. Because guess what, that's easy. That's easy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's easy.

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Speaker 2: It's easy to show up and apecially if alcohol.

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Speaker 1: Or something is involved. Yeah, it's easy. That's easy. It's

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Speaker 1: like it's easy old jokes. People even know since childhood

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Speaker 1: you have like a shorthand sound blah blah blah. But

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Speaker 1: like that's not quality. That's not quality.

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Speaker 2: That's not quality. That's not real friendship. That's not showing

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Speaker 2: up when it matters reaching out when you're in the frickin'

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Speaker 2: I literally cannot get over the hospital part, like she

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Speaker 2: was hospitalized and not one of these girls reached out

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Speaker 2: like that.

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Speaker 1: I can't ave a small business part. Like business, it's obvious,

401
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:06,159
Speaker 1: but like if you're right, especially right now, like it's

402
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,800
Speaker 1: hard to get a business off the ground. It's really

403
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,360
Speaker 1: you pour your heart and soul into it. You pour

404
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Speaker 1: a lot of your own savings, your own money into it,

405
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:17,399
Speaker 1: and like to know that like your friends are chronically

406
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:21,760
Speaker 1: online it looks like and like they aren't in support

407
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,160
Speaker 1: of it in any kind of way, shape or form.

408
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,760
Speaker 1: It's just like, I mean, we have a tiny small business.

409
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Speaker 1: My sister is small business that we like help her

410
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:33,280
Speaker 1: like invest in kind of which is our fakasha facusha forever,

411
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Speaker 1: and like it's a big deal to me, and like

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Speaker 1: I want people to like see it and know about it, right,

413
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Speaker 1: and like essentially she's not like a micro brewery, lol,

414
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Speaker 1: bakery and like, I don't know, like that's important, you know,

415
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:51,320
Speaker 1: and for them to not I don't know, she just

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Speaker 1: I think she just let them let them go.

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Speaker 2: Like so what Ye. There's what we're saying is yes, people,

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Speaker 2: and let these friendships face and yeah, whatever newer friends

419
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Speaker 2: you have in your life or people you like like

420
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 2: start getting on those friend dates, start investing more time

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Speaker 2: and energy in those people. And yeah, these girls don't

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00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:15,480
Speaker 2: have your back, Like it's no, nope, and that's okay,

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Speaker 2: And I'm sorry that they were shitty friends, but it's

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Speaker 2: it's sometimes it just it just be like that sometimes,

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Speaker 2: all right. Question number three change from Ulani Ooh that's

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Speaker 2: a pretty name. Hi, Melissa and Stephanie. I'd love if

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Speaker 2: you two could touch on the topic of change. I

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Speaker 2: think everyone feels and handles change differently. Some can handle

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Speaker 2: it easily or happily, but for others it's really challenging

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Speaker 2: personal Personally, change is very hard, whether it's a minor

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Speaker 2: change or a major one, often due to anxiety. I'd

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Speaker 2: love to hear each of your experiences related to handling change,

433
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,439
Speaker 2: perspective on it, and thoughts on how you can handle

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Speaker 2: change and any advice for those of us that it's

435
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:02,200
Speaker 2: tough for related to anxiety or just in general. I'm

436
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:05,560
Speaker 2: so grateful y'all started this podcast. Much love, love, Ulani.

437
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:08,640
Speaker 2: That's a great question, especially to ask two actors who

438
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:15,520
Speaker 2: constantly start new jobs in new places with all new people.

439
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:21,440
Speaker 1: I mean, change is an adital. Life is not stagnant.

440
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,359
Speaker 1: It is it is. Is she coming for you? Is

441
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:26,120
Speaker 1: she coming for you? No matter what? So you can

442
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:29,760
Speaker 1: resist the wave and let it knock you over, or

443
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 1: you can try to surf it and see what happens

444
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:35,719
Speaker 1: where you end up. It's like not saying that's going

445
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,440
Speaker 1: to be easy. And like a side note, look into

446
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,760
Speaker 1: some beta blockers, babe, because like, if your anxiety is debilitating,

447
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,520
Speaker 1: it might be time to maybe get on something that helps.

448
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:50,360
Speaker 1: Recently started a new medication. I'm enjoying it so far.

449
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 2: Ooh congratulations, thank you.

450
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:59,520
Speaker 1: It's like to help with like anxiety essentially, and like great,

451
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:03,359
Speaker 1: you know, you know, change is it's hard. It's like

452
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:06,880
Speaker 1: it's not easy for anybody. You're not alone. There's that, right,

453
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:08,199
Speaker 1: You're not alone.

454
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't. I don't know that I know anyone that, like,

455
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:17,160
Speaker 2: I don't know really. I mean, I was gonna say

456
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:19,600
Speaker 2: like really thrives on change, but I but then as

457
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:21,600
Speaker 2: I was saying it, I was like, bitch, you're an actor,

458
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:26,120
Speaker 2: and like you literally like the the You know how,

459
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:27,200
Speaker 2: we kind of different things.

460
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:29,400
Speaker 1: We kind of like it. It's scary, but we like it.

461
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:31,840
Speaker 2: But it's scary, and it does bring me a lot

462
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 2: of anxiety. When I'm going into a new job with

463
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:38,840
Speaker 2: all new people on location in a place I've never

464
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:44,360
Speaker 2: worked before. It's a lot and I try to, yeah,

465
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,639
Speaker 2: do all the things that I know help me manage anxiety.

466
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:50,760
Speaker 2: And I also try to remind myself. A lot of

467
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:53,440
Speaker 2: times anxiety is rooted in like fear of the unknown,

468
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:58,680
Speaker 2: and so I try to remind myself like it's just

469
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:00,960
Speaker 2: because you don't know yet. It's just because you don't know.

470
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:02,680
Speaker 2: You don't know if the people are going to be cool.

471
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:04,480
Speaker 2: You don't know if the city is going to be cool,

472
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 2: you don't know if the place you're living in is

473
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 2: going to be good. Like you just and then it's

474
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:11,960
Speaker 2: like just be patient. It's like I try to tell

475
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 2: myself to be patient and like wait, like wait until

476
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:19,640
Speaker 2: I have actual concrete answers rooted in reality instead of

477
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:25,159
Speaker 2: like letting my mind spiral to bad places and like

478
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:28,240
Speaker 2: be gentle with myself. And again, like the the whatever

479
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 2: the coping mechanisms that work for you or you know,

480
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:36,160
Speaker 2: maybe it is medication, maybe it is a beta blocker

481
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:38,800
Speaker 2: while you get through the transition, Like it can be

482
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:43,679
Speaker 2: a lot of things for everybody's different. But yeah, and

483
00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:47,479
Speaker 2: then I think the thing that I would say is

484
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:51,040
Speaker 2: because we've done it so many times over and over

485
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:53,840
Speaker 2: and over again, like it has gotten slightly easier as

486
00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:57,000
Speaker 2: I get older, because you start to learn that like

487
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:59,399
Speaker 2: it's fine, Like you know you're going to come out

488
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:02,000
Speaker 2: the other side of okay. You know you're going to survive.

489
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:05,359
Speaker 2: You know, it's even if there's a bad part of it,

490
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:09,680
Speaker 2: most of it's probably going to be great. And that

491
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:12,399
Speaker 2: it can be really fun to discover a new city.

492
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 2: It can be really fun to like meet and connect

493
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,879
Speaker 2: with new people. It can be really fun to like

494
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:22,119
Speaker 2: creatively express yourself in a different way. And so I

495
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:25,480
Speaker 2: think those things, you know, it's like leave room for

496
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:28,840
Speaker 2: the joy and leave room for like some positive thinking too,

497
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:32,760
Speaker 2: because there can be great things that come with change.

498
00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:37,879
Speaker 1: Also, yeah, yeah, that's really really real. I mean the

499
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:41,560
Speaker 1: leave room for the joy, leave room for the try

500
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:45,240
Speaker 1: not to let your anxiety about the change be the thing.

501
00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:46,159
Speaker 3: That is.

502
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:53,320
Speaker 1: Leading that takes over. Yeah, because it can easily, right,

503
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:58,919
Speaker 1: and so easily, I think that's such a good practice

504
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:01,280
Speaker 1: to be in. Is like thinking about, well, what could

505
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:05,639
Speaker 1: what could possibly be good? Or thinking about you know,

506
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:08,160
Speaker 1: let's say it's like starting a new job, right, and

507
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:11,720
Speaker 1: like one of the things that I do sometimes is

508
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:14,480
Speaker 1: like write down how I want it to go. Like

509
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:18,600
Speaker 1: I'll write down like I'm gonna i am, and I

510
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:20,680
Speaker 1: usually write it in the present tense. I'm like, I'm

511
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:25,800
Speaker 1: prepared and ready. All my lines are memorized, I'm flexible,

512
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 1: and I am coming up with new ideas on the fly.

513
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:35,720
Speaker 1: I'm trying out jokes and when they don't land, I

514
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:39,840
Speaker 1: let it go and try something else. And friendly to people,

515
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 1: I am I'm I'm comfortable saying a lot of new people.

516
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:45,160
Speaker 3: Like.

517
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 1: That's a really big one for me because I'm really

518
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,720
Speaker 1: like shy at first on jobs, and then people usually

519
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 1: think I'm like not nice, and so I really have

520
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 1: tried the last couple of years to be like I'm

521
00:28:56,040 --> 00:29:00,200
Speaker 1: I'm friendly and outgoing even when I'm nervous and I

522
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 1: don't take it personally when people aren't friendly back. Like

523
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:08,400
Speaker 1: that's something that I've tried. Like I'm just saying this

524
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:10,360
Speaker 1: stuff out out because it's really helped me. Like one

525
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,160
Speaker 1: time I went to an awards show and I was

526
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:15,160
Speaker 1: so nervous, and so I wrote down like how I

527
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:19,480
Speaker 1: wanted the night to go. And not everything happened, right,

528
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 1: but like just in the practice of like writing down

529
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:25,040
Speaker 1: how like I wanted it to go, I kind of

530
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 1: let go of like, oh, it's all going to be terrible.

531
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:30,360
Speaker 1: It's like, well, some of it could get and that

532
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:33,240
Speaker 1: would be great, and some of this is in my control,

533
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 1: Like some of this is actually something that I can

534
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:37,440
Speaker 1: do something about. Like I can make sure that I'm

535
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:39,360
Speaker 1: ready for the job, right, Like I can make sure

536
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 1: I'm memorized. That's something that I can do and I

537
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:45,840
Speaker 1: have control over, right, nobody else can. I Mean, yes,

538
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 1: I might still mess up my lines a couple of times,

539
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 1: but like that's different than like, oh I didn't look

540
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,680
Speaker 1: at the script yet, oh shit, you know, Like yeah, yeah,

541
00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 1: that's anxiety I love from a different place.

542
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:59,040
Speaker 2: I love that too, because sort of mapping out like

543
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:01,320
Speaker 2: how you hope the night will go or how you

544
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:04,920
Speaker 2: hope the day will go. I also, I would imagine

545
00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 2: like makes you I'm sure you come up with something

546
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 2: where you're like, oh, that'd be really cool if that happened,

547
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:12,760
Speaker 2: you know, like that would feel really good. And then

548
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 2: it gives you like little things to look forward to

549
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 2: to see if it will happen. And I just I

550
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:20,400
Speaker 2: love that. I think that's so great.

551
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 1: Also, the thing about like not taking things personally really

552
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 1: helps me a lot, because like I've been to I've

553
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:33,560
Speaker 1: had experiences where like someone, I mean, we deal with

554
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:37,320
Speaker 1: a lot of like people that are high profile, you know,

555
00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:39,480
Speaker 1: like at work and stuff like that, and like I've

556
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:42,200
Speaker 1: definitely had experiences where like those high profile people maybe

557
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:44,720
Speaker 1: aren't as friendly as you would want them to bay

558
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:48,360
Speaker 1: and like, oh yeah, taking it personally, you know, not

559
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:52,400
Speaker 1: taking it personally really like I've already written down I'm

560
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 1: not going to take that personally. That's not about me,

561
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:57,400
Speaker 1: that's about them, right, and so like then in the

562
00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 1: moment when it happens and I get like, but heard

563
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,640
Speaker 1: about it, then I go, oh, Okay, that's not about me. Now,

564
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 1: I know that that person's fucking doof but I'm not

565
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:09,360
Speaker 1: gonna that's not about me, that's about them, right, and

566
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 1: so like that is really that helps with like that

567
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 1: feeling of like oh my god, I don't belong here.

568
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:18,480
Speaker 1: I don't belong here, you know, like yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.

569
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:20,960
Speaker 2: You can't take a personal money, but yeah.

570
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:27,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, next question soon as next one. This next

571
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:33,760
Speaker 1: one's dollar dollar bills, y'all from Kimberly. I see these names, Okay, Hi,

572
00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:36,560
Speaker 1: I was wondering if you guys were any good with money?

573
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 1: Oh honey, okay, I have ah and even with a calendar.

574
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:44,720
Speaker 1: Money isn't a thing I'm good with. I'm not even

575
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 1: talking investing on major finances. But your little tips and tricks,

576
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:53,240
Speaker 1: I save more money when using cash versus tapping bank issues.

577
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 1: If you have any you both seem realistic. I'm a

578
00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:01,840
Speaker 1: single mom of two seven and nine in Southwest Ontario, Canada.

579
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,520
Speaker 1: Oh yay. You live in a single bedroom apartment and

580
00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:08,080
Speaker 1: things like cutting coupons is more stressful than money saving here.

581
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:13,400
Speaker 1: I can't wait to keep listening. Ill love Kimberly, Small Town, Canada, Kimberly.

582
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 2: Okay, Kimberly, what.

583
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:19,400
Speaker 1: Are your I have?

584
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:19,720
Speaker 3: Some?

585
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:21,760
Speaker 1: What are yours I have? Yeah?

586
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:24,479
Speaker 2: I feel you on the on the coupons thing. I

587
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:29,360
Speaker 2: also always found cutting coupons extremely overwhelming and stressful and

588
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:35,200
Speaker 2: uh did not do it at all, But uh, using

589
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 2: cash is a really good one. I remember doing that.

590
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 2: I would I would figure out my finances for the month,

591
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:44,959
Speaker 2: how much a need for these bills, how much are

592
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:47,160
Speaker 2: making from work, and then like what was my like

593
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:50,000
Speaker 2: weekly I would not do more than a week, Like

594
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:53,600
Speaker 2: just like every Monday, go to the ATM you pull

595
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 2: out your money for the week. That's for extra stuff. Me,

596
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:03,520
Speaker 2: I wouldn't. I would include groceries like in sort of

597
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:06,440
Speaker 2: with like your bills and maybe just try to like

598
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 2: keep yourself on a budget range for groceries because groceries

599
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 2: are fucking expensive right now, and I just I feel

600
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 2: like that, I don't know. That always felt more stressful

601
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:19,080
Speaker 2: to me when I was including groceries in my like

602
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:21,719
Speaker 2: weekly budget. So the weekly budget was more for like

603
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:24,360
Speaker 2: little things that come up or like maybe we're gonna

604
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:26,360
Speaker 2: get take out one night or you know, like little

605
00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:30,480
Speaker 2: extra things, and uh, and I would try to make

606
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:34,040
Speaker 2: the week work with that. Yeah, cash definitely helps, And

607
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:36,440
Speaker 2: I feel like there's digital ways that you could do that,

608
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 2: even you know, on your phone if you use tap,

609
00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 2: like you can put money into like uh, what is

610
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 2: it called like Apple cash or or like a card

611
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 2: that you used just for Tap that you know just yes,

612
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:52,959
Speaker 2: doesn't have all your money in it, it has like

613
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:56,840
Speaker 2: your weekly stipend money in it to like keep yourself accountable.

614
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:01,160
Speaker 2: I feel like there's an app for ever everything these days.

615
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 2: I was trying to like inspire my nephew recently to

616
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:08,600
Speaker 2: like just get put your nephew.

617
00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:10,760
Speaker 1: Pain of your existence. Sometimes.

618
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:14,759
Speaker 2: Oh I love him so much, but he does, oh

619
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:19,719
Speaker 2: listen to me. But I was like, put all put

620
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:22,800
Speaker 2: how much money you make, what your paycheck is after taxes.

621
00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:26,719
Speaker 2: Then put all your bills, everything you're responsible for that

622
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:30,439
Speaker 2: you have to pay every month, and then figure out

623
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 2: like what your weekly budget is for life, you know,

624
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:36,840
Speaker 2: like how much do you actually have for fun money?

625
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:40,000
Speaker 2: How much do you actually have for like savings? And

626
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:42,040
Speaker 2: like I was like, I am sure there's an app

627
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:45,759
Speaker 2: that exists that will do that for you, and and

628
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:48,960
Speaker 2: then just stick stick to that budget. And even if

629
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,720
Speaker 2: it's you're only putting like five dollars in your savings,

630
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:54,640
Speaker 2: like put that five dollars. Just do it, you know,

631
00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:57,120
Speaker 2: like at the end of the year, in six months,

632
00:34:57,160 --> 00:35:00,520
Speaker 2: you'll thank yourself, you know. And it's all just like

633
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:03,480
Speaker 2: building good habits. So I think it's like making lists,

634
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:07,480
Speaker 2: making budgets, just being staying organized and then staying committed

635
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 2: and not you know, going over. Of course, like life happens,

636
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:14,840
Speaker 2: things come up, but you just can't let that be

637
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:19,279
Speaker 2: a consistent thing that you sort of allow, you know

638
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:21,320
Speaker 2: what I mean. Like if something happens this week and

639
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:23,960
Speaker 2: we got to pull extra money, We're going to figure

640
00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:25,960
Speaker 2: out a way to make up for that, like maybe

641
00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:28,239
Speaker 2: next week or the week after, Like we're not going

642
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:30,000
Speaker 2: to keep letting that happen.

643
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:35,040
Speaker 1: Yeah. The thing I like about what you said was

644
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:39,279
Speaker 1: like so you you were like, oh, cash, Like I

645
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:42,000
Speaker 1: love that I can't do that, but like I love

646
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:45,920
Speaker 1: that that works for Kimberly. Like I'm horrible with cash

647
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:48,000
Speaker 1: because I don't like to even have a purse most

648
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,960
Speaker 1: of the time, Like I'll I carry like a little

649
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:53,160
Speaker 1: thing or like sometimes I don't even leave the house

650
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:56,000
Speaker 1: with my wallet. I just have. But the thing that

651
00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:59,200
Speaker 1: I do do is when I spend money. So and

652
00:35:59,239 --> 00:36:01,040
Speaker 1: this is new for this year, so I'm just trying

653
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 1: it out, So check with me in six months. But

654
00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:07,160
Speaker 1: like Brad. Brad told me. Brad, my husband, Brad told

655
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:09,560
Speaker 1: me how much I spent on shopping last year. And

656
00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:13,160
Speaker 1: I will not divulge the number, but let me just

657
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 1: say take text text it to me.

658
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 2: Text I could have Mellissa because I've gone text me

659
00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 2: the number later.

660
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:26,040
Speaker 1: So then I was like, okay, well, what's actually reasonable

661
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:27,680
Speaker 1: for me? And so I gave myself a budget, and

662
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 1: then I looked online and there was this free there's

663
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:36,040
Speaker 1: like a free it's called zero based monthly budget, and

664
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:38,400
Speaker 1: you can do this for like any budgets. But like

665
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:42,279
Speaker 1: there's tons and tons of free stuff online, like free spreadsheets.

666
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:44,600
Speaker 1: You don't have to download the apps, you can just

667
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:48,000
Speaker 1: download the spreadsheet. But you know, in this one, there's

668
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:52,080
Speaker 1: like this budget. I'm just using it for my shopping,

669
00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:55,840
Speaker 1: but it's like total monthly shopping, total projected shopping, total,

670
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:58,840
Speaker 1: total budgeted balance. Can you roll that over whatever? And

671
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 1: then it's got like spaces for everything. I'm again, I'm

672
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:04,640
Speaker 1: only doing it for my shopping. So what I do

673
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:07,719
Speaker 1: is when I go shop, I take I have a

674
00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:11,000
Speaker 1: note in my notes app and I write down, just

675
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:12,959
Speaker 1: like a quick little note, like on the same note,

676
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:15,920
Speaker 1: how much I spent like, oh, I went to you know,

677
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:19,320
Speaker 1: I went to Bridge Thrift and I spent eighty dollars.

678
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:21,279
Speaker 1: So I wrote it down and then later in the

679
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:25,799
Speaker 1: week I wrote everything into my app, so like now

680
00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:28,320
Speaker 1: I can see every time I've spent money this month

681
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:34,440
Speaker 1: on shopping and it is sobering, honey, like it is, oh,

682
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:37,560
Speaker 1: oh my, I did go. Like the other day, I

683
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:39,400
Speaker 1: walked past the thrift store and I was like, I

684
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:40,879
Speaker 1: don't need to go in there right now. I don't

685
00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:42,680
Speaker 1: need to go in there because I already went in

686
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:45,319
Speaker 1: there twice this month and I spent Nope, I went

687
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:47,960
Speaker 1: into three times this month. I just saw it. Thirty

688
00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:52,000
Speaker 1: one dollars, thirty dollars and eighty dollars. And that's how

689
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:53,719
Speaker 1: many times I went to the thrift store this month.

690
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:56,360
Speaker 1: And like that's it's mid January. Like why am I

691
00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:59,800
Speaker 1: going so many times? You know what I mean? Yeah,

692
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:03,959
Speaker 1: So there's that right, There's like there's tons of spreadsheets

693
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:07,640
Speaker 1: online that have the free budget stuff. You can print

694
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:09,880
Speaker 1: them out if you have a laptop at home, and

695
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:11,759
Speaker 1: then you can use your notes app to kind of

696
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:15,640
Speaker 1: like go back and forth. This is a this is

697
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:19,640
Speaker 1: a grocery thing, and like everybody does this differently, and

698
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 1: since you are a single mom, you might not have

699
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:23,840
Speaker 1: time to do this, but I would encourage you to

700
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 1: go on TikTok and look up like weekly budget like

701
00:38:29,239 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 1: meal plans or meal stuff, because there's this one account

702
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:34,839
Speaker 1: that I follow that I love that I think it's

703
00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:38,160
Speaker 1: like dollar Store budget meals or something like that. She

704
00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:41,200
Speaker 1: gets all her ingredients from the dollar Store. It's amazing.

705
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:43,160
Speaker 1: She gets all her greetings from the dollar Store and

706
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:45,960
Speaker 1: will make like a meal for four people and then

707
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:49,560
Speaker 1: have leftovers or a meal for you know, and not

708
00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:53,480
Speaker 1: everything is going to be to everybody's taste, and you

709
00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:56,799
Speaker 1: might not have a dollar Store that you like. You

710
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:58,839
Speaker 1: might not have one, you might not want to get

711
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:01,120
Speaker 1: all your ingredients, but it's a really good jumping off

712
00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:07,160
Speaker 1: point for like low cost still like quality, good quality meals.

713
00:39:08,719 --> 00:39:13,319
Speaker 1: In my house, we try to only order food once

714
00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:18,760
Speaker 1: a week if we order food, and like that's actually

715
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:21,880
Speaker 1: gone away quite a bit this year, just because we

716
00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:24,080
Speaker 1: were like, let's try to eat like at home or

717
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:25,560
Speaker 1: you know, like last night we went to dinner because

718
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:28,080
Speaker 1: it was Brad's birthday, but that was a special occasion.

719
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:31,600
Speaker 1: We really tried to cook it home as much as possible.

720
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:36,359
Speaker 1: And then the other thing that I was gonna say is, oh,

721
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:40,400
Speaker 1: this and this is like something I didn't even know existed.

722
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:44,279
Speaker 1: But if you have enough money to do it, and

723
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:49,120
Speaker 1: you have some savings, instead of just having your savings

724
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:52,360
Speaker 1: be like in your bank, look for a high yield

725
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:56,239
Speaker 1: savings account. And that essentially is like you put your

726
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:59,360
Speaker 1: money in there and you don't really touch it. You

727
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:02,600
Speaker 1: can touch it if you need to, but you put

728
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 1: your money in there with the knowledge that like you're

729
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:07,960
Speaker 1: probably not gonna touch it very much, and like it

730
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:10,719
Speaker 1: sits in there, and the return, like the interest is

731
00:40:10,719 --> 00:40:12,560
Speaker 1: a little bit higher. I didn't I didn't even know

732
00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:15,600
Speaker 1: these things existed. I thought all savings accounts were the same. Yeah,

733
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:17,920
Speaker 1: so I'm just throwing it out there. I know you

734
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:21,439
Speaker 1: didn't ask for like investment and advice or whatever, but like, yeah,

735
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:26,680
Speaker 1: those are my highield savings account, TikTok budget meals, and

736
00:40:26,719 --> 00:40:30,040
Speaker 1: then write it down on your notes app, write it

737
00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:32,640
Speaker 1: down on your notes app, and then transfer those things

738
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:34,640
Speaker 1: to a spreadsheet so that you can see. And then

739
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 1: sets are awesome because they're not just like lists. They

740
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:40,360
Speaker 1: actually do the math for you. Like you put in

741
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:42,720
Speaker 1: all your stuff that you spent and then it shows

742
00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:44,959
Speaker 1: you the math of like how much you've already spent

743
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:46,720
Speaker 1: this month and how much you have left.

744
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:48,040
Speaker 5: Mmmm.

745
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:55,600
Speaker 2: Kada, that's a good one. This is when technology can

746
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 2: be on our side. Good luck, Kimberly.

747
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:08,800
Speaker 1: Better better nerros.

748
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:15,600
Speaker 2: Feedback from Amanda, I'm meless and Stephanie. One thing I'd

749
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:18,960
Speaker 2: like to be more better at is taking feedback better,

750
00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:21,800
Speaker 2: Like at work. How in the heck do I stop

751
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:25,359
Speaker 2: feeling like it's an attack on my competence and then

752
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:29,120
Speaker 2: I spiral? It's lovely anyway, if you would have any advice,

753
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:31,320
Speaker 2: would love to hear it on the pod. Have a

754
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 2: great week, am'am.

755
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:33,680
Speaker 1: Manda. This is like the thing that I was talking

756
00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:37,320
Speaker 1: about earlier. Don't take it personally. You can't take it personally.

757
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:40,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't take it personally, but I feel you like,

758
00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:46,040
Speaker 2: I definitely have had times at work where I've gotten

759
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:52,400
Speaker 2: feedback or you know, sometimes in the four I don't

760
00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:55,080
Speaker 2: my obviously, part of our job is like getting notes

761
00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:59,600
Speaker 2: from directors. It's one to note is delivered it a

762
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:10,560
Speaker 2: certain that example, it's not mmmm. I feel like it

763
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:15,920
Speaker 2: happened a lot more when I was younger. Okay, it

764
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:19,560
Speaker 2: would be something in the form of like, honey, okay,

765
00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:24,520
Speaker 2: so on this one, can you just like listen, look

766
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:27,799
Speaker 2: like you know you're listening, or like something just that

767
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:30,920
Speaker 2: like it's delivered in a sort of condescending way, and

768
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 2: my brain immediately goes, fuck you. You don't know how

769
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:36,400
Speaker 2: to give a note that's not a direction, Like there's

770
00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:39,480
Speaker 2: no action in what you just said. You're just being

771
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:39,879
Speaker 2: a dick.

772
00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:46,239
Speaker 4: Jumped right out woo it really did, it really did,

773
00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:51,879
Speaker 4: And I'll spiral in my head and get like all mad.

774
00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:54,560
Speaker 2: Or The other one that trips me up is when

775
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:56,840
Speaker 2: someone gives you a note that you thought you were doing,

776
00:42:57,320 --> 00:43:01,120
Speaker 2: you know, like you just like I don't know, like

777
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:04,279
Speaker 2: you're playing something in a scene and they come and

778
00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:06,920
Speaker 2: give you a note that is exactly what you were

779
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 2: just trying to do, and you're like, am I terrible

780
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:09,839
Speaker 2: at my job?

781
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:10,080
Speaker 3: Now?

782
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:12,799
Speaker 2: Most of the time, I've learned that it's that they

783
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:15,399
Speaker 2: weren't actually watching you, and they were just making sure

784
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:17,800
Speaker 2: that they got that thing there. It is they.

785
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:21,520
Speaker 1: They literally weren't looking at that monitor.

786
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:25,680
Speaker 2: When I started directing. I made sure if that happened,

787
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:27,880
Speaker 2: because it is a real thing you're watching. Sometimes up

788
00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:30,680
Speaker 2: to three monitors, and you might miss a piece of

789
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:34,879
Speaker 2: someone's performance. But what I tried to do directors out

790
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:39,239
Speaker 2: there is check with somebody else in village and be like, hey,

791
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:40,880
Speaker 2: I want to make sure I get this from this

792
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:43,240
Speaker 2: actor to has have they played that yet? Has anyone

793
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:45,840
Speaker 2: seen it? Because I wasn't. I was looking at the

794
00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:49,040
Speaker 2: other actor during this last or I'll approach the actor

795
00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:52,400
Speaker 2: and be like, forgive me if you've already been doing this, like,

796
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:54,319
Speaker 2: but I just want to make sure I have this

797
00:43:54,440 --> 00:43:58,680
Speaker 2: for you know, an option. Yeah. But yeah, that's when

798
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:00,680
Speaker 2: they come in all confident. They're like, can you like

799
00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:04,280
Speaker 2: be more annoyed? And You're like, I just was fucking

800
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:07,240
Speaker 2: so annoyed in that last take. What are you talking about?

801
00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 2: So I've never talked like that at work, but that's

802
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:14,360
Speaker 2: what's going on in my head. That's what's going on

803
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:17,080
Speaker 2: in my head. And then I keep it, I keep

804
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:22,799
Speaker 2: it prophash, but I will say, yes, I think what

805
00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:25,440
Speaker 2: seventy is saying is so true, like don't take it personally,

806
00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:33,520
Speaker 2: and I think also, uh, there is something about having

807
00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:39,080
Speaker 2: a level of humility is actually what makes us grow

808
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:47,360
Speaker 2: and get better, and feedback and constructive criticism is essential

809
00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 2: for us to get better. To think that we know

810
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:56,640
Speaker 2: it all and we know how to do everything, even

811
00:44:56,680 --> 00:45:02,759
Speaker 2: if we're really good at our jobs, is actually blocking

812
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:08,840
Speaker 2: you and like creating this wall. Yeah for yourself. Yeah,

813
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:13,480
Speaker 2: that you will never be able to like actually achieve

814
00:45:13,560 --> 00:45:17,200
Speaker 2: your greatest potential. So you have to learn how to

815
00:45:17,239 --> 00:45:20,160
Speaker 2: get that feedback. And look, it's up to you whether

816
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:23,520
Speaker 2: you agree with the feedback. You know, we're all going

817
00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:26,359
Speaker 2: to have our emotional first reactions in our head. You'

818
00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:29,279
Speaker 2: all just heard me freaking get all jersey about it.

819
00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:32,319
Speaker 2: That's what happens in my head every time. But then

820
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:37,160
Speaker 2: later when I've calmed down, yeah, or I'm quiet, I'll

821
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:40,200
Speaker 2: be like, m yeah, actually that makes sense. I could

822
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:42,120
Speaker 2: work on that. I could be better at that, Like

823
00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:45,440
Speaker 2: why don't I? Or if I'm not sure? Sometimes sometimes

824
00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 2: I'm like I thought I was good at that, but

825
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:49,759
Speaker 2: you know what, let me just be curious and like

826
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:52,920
Speaker 2: act like maybe I could get better at that, yeah,

827
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:53,920
Speaker 2: and see what happens.

828
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:57,040
Speaker 1: You know. Yeah, I think it depends too.

829
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:58,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's.

830
00:45:58,160 --> 00:46:02,640
Speaker 1: If it's what she said was like, how do I

831
00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:04,880
Speaker 1: stop feeling like it's an attack on my competence?

832
00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:05,239
Speaker 3: Right?

833
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:07,200
Speaker 2: Right?

834
00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:11,040
Speaker 1: Feedback at work. One of the things that you gotta do,

835
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:14,880
Speaker 1: or at least I I do, I try to do,

836
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:20,600
Speaker 1: is like if I don't understand something, try to get

837
00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:27,280
Speaker 1: clarity about the feedback, you know, like uh, okay, okay,

838
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:30,280
Speaker 1: so I hear what you're saying, and then like repeat

839
00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:34,200
Speaker 1: back the feedback so you want this, and then they

840
00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:37,040
Speaker 1: have a chance to like say yes exactly, or they

841
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:39,520
Speaker 1: have a chance to say, you know, repeat it back

842
00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:42,400
Speaker 1: to them, like in a way that like, so what

843
00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:44,560
Speaker 1: you're saying is you want me to like you want

844
00:46:44,560 --> 00:46:47,360
Speaker 1: to see me actively listen. Like for the listening example,

845
00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:49,880
Speaker 1: it's like, so you want to see me actively listening

846
00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:51,959
Speaker 1: on my face. You want to like a little more

847
00:46:52,719 --> 00:46:55,440
Speaker 1: action in my face about what I'm hearing and how

848
00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:57,719
Speaker 1: it's landing on me. Right, And then they can say

849
00:46:57,880 --> 00:47:01,960
Speaker 1: yes or no, right, or they can explain further about

850
00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:06,120
Speaker 1: what they actually want, because sometimes the thing that you're

851
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 1: thinking that they're asking for is you've already done like

852
00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:11,120
Speaker 1: a you've already done it, or like here it is

853
00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:13,399
Speaker 1: right here in the report, it's actually on page two

854
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:18,120
Speaker 1: or whatever, or maybe they're asking for something and they,

855
00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:20,239
Speaker 1: like you said, like they didn't know how to ask

856
00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:21,719
Speaker 1: for it. Oh okay, so you want to see me

857
00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:24,239
Speaker 1: actively listening on my face? Oh no, no, no, Actually I

858
00:47:24,280 --> 00:47:26,880
Speaker 1: want the opposite. I want you like super still. Okay,

859
00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 1: got it right?

860
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:32,760
Speaker 2: Like yeah, and then you like that give that invites collaboration, yes,

861
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:35,120
Speaker 2: And it's not just like I don't know what you're

862
00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:37,080
Speaker 2: asking for, so I'm just going to try something right.

863
00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:40,239
Speaker 1: And it's also not bringing my own ego into it,

864
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:43,080
Speaker 1: which I do a lot. Like I struggle with that

865
00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:46,960
Speaker 1: a lot, and like my practice for that is that

866
00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:52,319
Speaker 1: I go stonefaced while they're giving the notes so that

867
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:54,439
Speaker 1: I can try to process it. So I can try

868
00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:59,160
Speaker 1: to process the note without them reacting to something that

869
00:47:59,160 --> 00:47:59,680
Speaker 1: I'm giving them.

870
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:02,840
Speaker 2: Feel about it, Yes, So I just go study.

871
00:48:03,920 --> 00:48:05,480
Speaker 1: And then I most of the time, like if I

872
00:48:05,520 --> 00:48:09,680
Speaker 1: don't understand or I'll allow myself to time to process that.

873
00:48:09,680 --> 00:48:12,520
Speaker 1: That's the other thing is, like you know, sometimes jobs

874
00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:14,480
Speaker 1: are a high pressure environment and you get a note,

875
00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 1: You're like, okay, I have to I have to do it,

876
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:19,440
Speaker 1: but I don't really understand it, and it's like no, da.

877
00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:22,480
Speaker 1: I'd learned that from Andre honestly, because like he would

878
00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:27,000
Speaker 1: stand there and think about it, you know, and like

879
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:30,520
Speaker 1: he wouldn't let himself feel rushed. He would just stand

880
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:32,760
Speaker 1: there and think about it, and then if he didn't

881
00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:35,120
Speaker 1: get it, he would ask about it, like he'd be like,

882
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:39,120
Speaker 1: you know, so is it this and they would say, oh, yeah, no,

883
00:48:39,200 --> 00:48:43,200
Speaker 1: it's this or that or whatever, right, And that's a

884
00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:45,640
Speaker 1: big part of it. It's not an attack on your

885
00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:48,560
Speaker 1: competence unless it is. And and that is something you

886
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:51,200
Speaker 1: have to sniff out too. It's like, maybe you do

887
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 1: have a boss, it's like kind of a piece of

888
00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:55,960
Speaker 1: shit and like jealous of you or whatever, Like maybe

889
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:59,520
Speaker 1: you're working for somebody that doesn't actually like you. That

890
00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:02,000
Speaker 1: might be the taste as well. Maybe you're working for

891
00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:06,200
Speaker 1: someone that's bad, right, kind of bad and like what's

892
00:49:06,239 --> 00:49:08,120
Speaker 1: your job? In that moment, you just kind of like

893
00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:11,120
Speaker 1: either have to deliver what you are being asked to

894
00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:14,040
Speaker 1: deliver or fight really hard for like, no, I'm going

895
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:16,440
Speaker 1: to do it like this right. Like I had an

896
00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:21,920
Speaker 1: audition the other day that was the script was so

897
00:49:22,080 --> 00:49:26,439
Speaker 1: funny and the direction I was like, oh, oh, that's

898
00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:30,600
Speaker 1: not how I would ever play that, Okay, But like

899
00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:32,799
Speaker 1: I didn't say that. I was just like I processed

900
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:35,640
Speaker 1: the direction. I was like, Okay, yeah, sure, let's try

901
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:39,080
Speaker 1: it again. And I did it, and to me, I

902
00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:41,480
Speaker 1: was like, this is bad and I didn't get it,

903
00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:44,520
Speaker 1: probably because I wasn't right for it, but mostly because

904
00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:47,479
Speaker 1: I didn't instinctively do the direction that I was being

905
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:49,759
Speaker 1: asked to do right, and because like that's not really

906
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:54,319
Speaker 1: my style and that's okay, So yeah, that's helpful or not.

907
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:59,680
Speaker 2: Okay, let's do maybe like number six. Ooh, Rosa for

908
00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:04,440
Speaker 2: how Helloween slash biohacking from Nieha. I hope I'm saying

909
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:07,160
Speaker 2: your name right. Hi, Melissa and Sephanie. I just want

910
00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:09,359
Speaker 2: to say I love listening to your podcast as I'm

911
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:11,600
Speaker 2: walking the dog. It makes me laugh and you're both

912
00:50:11,680 --> 00:50:14,279
Speaker 2: so relatable. I wanted to share a picture of me

913
00:50:14,520 --> 00:50:18,040
Speaker 2: dress up as Rosa for a friend's birthday slash Halloween murder.

914
00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:22,759
Speaker 2: Mystery parties or mystery parties are making a comeback. I

915
00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:25,319
Speaker 2: hope you appreciate it. Love Brooklyn nine nine so much

916
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:29,560
Speaker 2: looking at the picture. Well up on nailed it, You

917
00:50:29,640 --> 00:50:33,280
Speaker 2: nailed it. I love that she even has the necklace

918
00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:37,880
Speaker 2: next like the little touches. A topic i'd love to

919
00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:41,520
Speaker 2: hear you talk more about would be biohacking slash wellness.

920
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:44,520
Speaker 2: How do you get more better about being without being

921
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:47,800
Speaker 2: overwhelmed with the confusing advice out there on health and wellness?

922
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:55,080
Speaker 2: Sending wintry love from London. Uh from nieha okay.

923
00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:59,080
Speaker 1: Biohacking Garth, I hate it. I don't want to optimize.

924
00:50:59,280 --> 00:50:59,520
Speaker 1: I do.

925
00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:00,560
Speaker 2: I don't like that.

926
00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:06,160
Speaker 1: What are the optimizing all? I just kind of sit

927
00:51:06,280 --> 00:51:07,640
Speaker 1: down and have some coffee.

928
00:51:07,840 --> 00:51:12,360
Speaker 2: Oh god, okay, I know girl.

929
00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:14,960
Speaker 1: I mean I guess we sort of briefly touched on

930
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,640
Speaker 1: this on the episode of The Mornings Get how to

931
00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:22,480
Speaker 1: get more better at mornings? And yeah, I'll be real honest.

932
00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:26,760
Speaker 1: There is confusing. Everything's confusing because it's like this person's

933
00:51:26,760 --> 00:51:28,880
Speaker 1: saying this, this person saying that right like and the

934
00:51:28,960 --> 00:51:30,200
Speaker 1: other day I watched, my.

935
00:51:30,239 --> 00:51:31,680
Speaker 2: God, it was confusing.

936
00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:35,719
Speaker 1: I watched this TikTok that was like, you don't need

937
00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:41,000
Speaker 1: electrolytes unless you are working out and sweating. Your body

938
00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:44,200
Speaker 1: needs to be sweating. You don't need electrolyte. I was like,

939
00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:46,640
Speaker 1: oh my god, that's fair. Like there was it was

940
00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:48,840
Speaker 1: this from this nurse practitioner who was like, I cannot

941
00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:51,120
Speaker 1: tell you how many people are coming in my office

942
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:56,200
Speaker 1: and there salt levels are so crazy high, and I'm like,

943
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:57,840
Speaker 1: what are you doing? And they're like, oh, I have

944
00:51:57,880 --> 00:52:00,239
Speaker 1: electrolytes in my water every day. You don't need five

945
00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:03,800
Speaker 1: hundred milligrams of salt in your water unless you're actively

946
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:06,920
Speaker 1: sweating every day. And I was like, that's really fair,

947
00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:09,640
Speaker 1: Like I don't need to have a big thing of

948
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:13,879
Speaker 1: electrolytes unless I'm sweating that day. For me, I think, but.

949
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:17,040
Speaker 2: It's hard or the new one I heard it's hard

950
00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:19,160
Speaker 2: or the new one I heard too that I was like, wait,

951
00:52:19,239 --> 00:52:24,760
Speaker 2: what was not that? I I've been thinking about getting

952
00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:27,319
Speaker 2: back into it because it's usually something I do in

953
00:52:27,400 --> 00:52:29,880
Speaker 2: winter in LA just because my pool is cold and

954
00:52:29,920 --> 00:52:34,879
Speaker 2: it's uh more convenient. Is like cold plunging not being

955
00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:38,120
Speaker 2: good for women, it's bad for it's good for women,

956
00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:42,120
Speaker 2: it's not bad for women. Calm down, it's good for women.

957
00:52:42,880 --> 00:52:46,000
Speaker 2: But something like the water doesn't have to be as

958
00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:48,439
Speaker 2: cold and we don't have to do it for as

959
00:52:48,520 --> 00:52:51,440
Speaker 2: long or as often because right, like again, as we

960
00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:55,799
Speaker 2: all know, most of these health studies are with men,

961
00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:58,359
Speaker 2: Like they're all based, they're all like, we've only just

962
00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:02,560
Speaker 2: started to like study women's health recently. Yeah, So when

963
00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:05,080
Speaker 2: you read a thing about like intermittent fast Intermittent fasting

964
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:07,480
Speaker 2: was another one too, intermnfesting or ice plunging, and it's

965
00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:09,479
Speaker 2: like all these benefits for the body you're reading about

966
00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:14,040
Speaker 2: benefits that are for a man's body. Yeah, it's so freakin' frustrating.

967
00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:14,440
Speaker 1: Yea.

968
00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:17,000
Speaker 2: So I don't really know the ins and outs of

969
00:53:17,360 --> 00:53:20,920
Speaker 2: the cold plunging thing, but I saw it recently and

970
00:53:20,960 --> 00:53:24,000
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, come on, man, no figure this out.

971
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:29,440
Speaker 2: Like it's so come on. But I will say, like,

972
00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:32,759
Speaker 2: I think what I've been leaning into lately has been

973
00:53:35,440 --> 00:53:41,440
Speaker 2: like trying to be more intuitive with these things, like

974
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:45,120
Speaker 2: the electrolytes. I will do electrolytes in the morning. Sometimes

975
00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:47,759
Speaker 2: I don't do it every day. I do it on

976
00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:53,240
Speaker 2: the mornings that I wake up feeling so thirsty because whatever,

977
00:53:53,280 --> 00:53:56,279
Speaker 2: it's really dry in California, or maybe the heater was

978
00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:58,640
Speaker 2: on the night before, or like I just I wake

979
00:53:58,719 --> 00:54:02,759
Speaker 2: up and I'm like like dry, and I wake up

980
00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:06,200
Speaker 2: super thirsty, and sometimes I have like even a dull

981
00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:09,160
Speaker 2: headache or I just like feel bad, like don't like

982
00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:11,319
Speaker 2: I wake up and I'm like, hmmm, I don't, Like

983
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:16,080
Speaker 2: I feel really tired and like thirsty. Those mornings, I

984
00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:19,879
Speaker 2: will do an electrolyte and I feel twenty times better

985
00:54:19,920 --> 00:54:21,520
Speaker 2: after it, and I'm like, oh, that's what it was.

986
00:54:21,680 --> 00:54:24,080
Speaker 2: Like I was probably dehydrated, you know, like maybe I

987
00:54:24,080 --> 00:54:26,640
Speaker 2: didn't drink enough water last night or yesterday, and like

988
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:33,120
Speaker 2: I was dehydrated, you know. And yeah, and like I've

989
00:54:33,280 --> 00:54:36,800
Speaker 2: you know, supplements, I fucking forget them all the time,

990
00:54:36,920 --> 00:54:39,719
Speaker 2: and then I'll get I'm I just got back on

991
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:42,560
Speaker 2: them a couple days ago. I was like, you know,

992
00:54:42,600 --> 00:54:44,520
Speaker 2: and I'll just do like, let me just try to

993
00:54:44,560 --> 00:54:46,400
Speaker 2: do this week. I bought like one of those weekly

994
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:51,440
Speaker 2: dispenser things because I realized I will not I take

995
00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:53,680
Speaker 2: a few supplements. I will not take those bottles out

996
00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:56,239
Speaker 2: every night. There will inevitably be a night where I'm

997
00:54:56,280 --> 00:54:58,719
Speaker 2: so fucking annoyed and the last thing I want to

998
00:54:58,760 --> 00:55:00,799
Speaker 2: do is like open bottles. But I can open one

999
00:55:00,840 --> 00:55:02,680
Speaker 2: thing and dump a bunch of pills in my hand

1000
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:06,879
Speaker 2: and throw them back. So it's like finding little ways

1001
00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:10,239
Speaker 2: to make it like easier. You know, I haven't done

1002
00:55:10,239 --> 00:55:12,239
Speaker 2: my red light mask in a long time. I know,

1003
00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:18,239
Speaker 2: I've been very lazy. But then like just last said,

1004
00:55:18,239 --> 00:55:19,600
Speaker 2: I almost did it because I was like, oh, but

1005
00:55:19,640 --> 00:55:22,279
Speaker 2: I missdoing like wordle and like my little like word

1006
00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:24,719
Speaker 2: puzzles while I do it because I had like made

1007
00:55:24,719 --> 00:55:27,879
Speaker 2: a little routine of like while I have the red

1008
00:55:27,960 --> 00:55:31,080
Speaker 2: light on, I see how many New York Time puzzles fun.

1009
00:55:31,400 --> 00:55:33,560
Speaker 1: I can't do anything with mine on. Mine has like

1010
00:55:33,600 --> 00:55:38,160
Speaker 1: a little like like a mask like you're in you

1011
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:39,600
Speaker 1: remember those little masks that you can.

1012
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:45,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah A. So maybe it's like like a podcast,

1013
00:55:45,239 --> 00:55:47,960
Speaker 2: like something you can listen to, like I find like,

1014
00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:50,320
Speaker 2: like what's it. It's called like it is called something

1015
00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:54,600
Speaker 2: like habit stacking or something when you attach to like

1016
00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:57,200
Speaker 2: when you attach something you enjoy doing to something that

1017
00:55:57,239 --> 00:55:59,520
Speaker 2: feels maybe a little bit more like a chore, which

1018
00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:01,920
Speaker 2: mostly time these things don't feel like chores, Like I

1019
00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:04,520
Speaker 2: like going in the sauna, I like doing my red

1020
00:56:04,600 --> 00:56:07,719
Speaker 2: leg mask, but like sometimes when I'm dealing with other

1021
00:56:07,760 --> 00:56:11,400
Speaker 2: shit and overwhelmed, they feel like a little bit like chores. Yeah,

1022
00:56:11,440 --> 00:56:15,759
Speaker 2: And so I find those little attaching something that I

1023
00:56:15,840 --> 00:56:18,600
Speaker 2: really like to the thing helps me.

1024
00:56:18,840 --> 00:56:19,040
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1025
00:56:19,080 --> 00:56:22,080
Speaker 2: And I'll listen to a podcast in the sauna, yeah,

1026
00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:25,000
Speaker 2: because then it's fun and I'm like looking forward, I'm like, oh,

1027
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:26,920
Speaker 2: I haven't like heard that podcast in a long time

1028
00:56:26,920 --> 00:56:28,719
Speaker 2: because I haven't had time. But I could have time

1029
00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:32,680
Speaker 2: if I go in the sun. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,

1030
00:56:32,719 --> 00:56:35,720
Speaker 2: so I yeah, I think that that helps. But also

1031
00:56:35,840 --> 00:56:39,239
Speaker 2: just like it's fine, it's fine to take breaks. It's

1032
00:56:39,280 --> 00:56:42,120
Speaker 2: fine to like get off the track and then get

1033
00:56:42,160 --> 00:56:45,279
Speaker 2: back on it. Like isn't that everybody like oh not

1034
00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:49,080
Speaker 2: everybody freaks or doing this. Yeah, but those people are

1035
00:56:50,320 --> 00:56:51,560
Speaker 2: here's they have other issues.

1036
00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:52,919
Speaker 1: You don't know what I mean of us are gonna

1037
00:56:52,960 --> 00:56:57,200
Speaker 1: live forever right, Like we're just not that's an option.

1038
00:56:57,719 --> 00:57:00,279
Speaker 2: I'm just trying to feel good. No, I'm I'm not

1039
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:03,160
Speaker 2: trying to live forever. Yeah, but I'm just trying to

1040
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:06,319
Speaker 2: like feel good as I get older. I think that's

1041
00:57:06,360 --> 00:57:10,600
Speaker 2: what like wellness is for me. Yeah, I guess that

1042
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:12,759
Speaker 2: that too, Like why why do you want to take

1043
00:57:12,800 --> 00:57:14,880
Speaker 2: the supplements? Why do you want to do the like

1044
00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:18,400
Speaker 2: you know, knowing what your why is also I think

1045
00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:23,280
Speaker 2: helps with like motivation and you know. But yeah, it's

1046
00:57:23,360 --> 00:57:27,200
Speaker 2: the online thing is I feel you I'm I'm I'm

1047
00:57:27,200 --> 00:57:30,480
Speaker 2: trying to navigate that. It's like so tedious to like

1048
00:57:30,560 --> 00:57:32,240
Speaker 2: fucking fact check everything.

1049
00:57:32,520 --> 00:57:34,760
Speaker 1: I do think it's kind of fun. I'm like, I'm

1050
00:57:34,960 --> 00:57:37,680
Speaker 1: very into this, like right now, there's a trend on

1051
00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:42,000
Speaker 1: TikTok with like Chinese girls returning Chinese this year, and

1052
00:57:42,040 --> 00:57:45,160
Speaker 1: it's like all these like Chinese traditional Chinese kind of

1053
00:57:45,240 --> 00:57:48,080
Speaker 1: like things that Chinese people know to do. It's like

1054
00:57:48,160 --> 00:57:50,480
Speaker 1: you don't drink cold liquids in the morning. You never

1055
00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:53,400
Speaker 1: have a cold breakfast, you know you. And then there's

1056
00:57:53,400 --> 00:57:56,760
Speaker 1: all these like great tiktoks where people have done the

1057
00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:59,880
Speaker 1: like mixture of like hot liquid in the morning and

1058
00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:02,160
Speaker 1: then like a smash cut to them being like on

1059
00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:05,120
Speaker 1: the toilet shitting their brains out, which is fantastic. We

1060
00:58:05,160 --> 00:58:07,200
Speaker 1: all need more fiber. We need to get that poop

1061
00:58:07,240 --> 00:58:11,400
Speaker 1: out right, And like I had a I had yesterday,

1062
00:58:11,440 --> 00:58:14,040
Speaker 1: I had a mug of hot water before I had

1063
00:58:14,080 --> 00:58:17,280
Speaker 1: my coffee. Nothing happened, didn't poop okay, So maybe that's

1064
00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:20,000
Speaker 1: not it. Like some of us is just like hearsay,

1065
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:22,040
Speaker 1: what works for one person might not work for you.

1066
00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:24,400
Speaker 1: Some of it is like maybe do a little more

1067
00:58:24,440 --> 00:58:29,160
Speaker 1: research and don't just look at your dumb chat GPT.

1068
00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:36,360
Speaker 1: Somebody said their brother worked in AI and he said

1069
00:58:36,440 --> 00:58:41,400
Speaker 1: that asking chat GPT a question is like asking two

1070
00:58:41,520 --> 00:58:46,160
Speaker 1: hundred stupid people to like conglomerate their question instead of

1071
00:58:46,200 --> 00:58:47,520
Speaker 1: asking like two smart people.

1072
00:58:48,120 --> 00:58:50,280
Speaker 2: Oh no, I don't do chat.

1073
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:53,959
Speaker 1: I don't ask jab questions, she domb.

1074
00:58:55,120 --> 00:58:56,800
Speaker 2: I love that, but I do.

1075
00:58:57,520 --> 00:59:00,720
Speaker 1: I do like I will research, Like I'll google like

1076
00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:07,800
Speaker 1: you know, cold Plunge Medical journals U two thousand ten

1077
00:59:08,040 --> 00:59:12,280
Speaker 1: to twenty twenty six female studies, right, and like like

1078
00:59:12,440 --> 00:59:15,440
Speaker 1: I'll I'll look for like medical studies, Like even if

1079
00:59:15,440 --> 00:59:17,760
Speaker 1: it's a small case study, I'm interested to see like

1080
00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:21,000
Speaker 1: what it says. Right, Like there's that and then there's

1081
00:59:21,040 --> 00:59:21,440
Speaker 1: like just.

1082
00:59:21,440 --> 00:59:23,920
Speaker 2: Kind of smart you smart, drill down.

1083
00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:25,520
Speaker 1: And like try to focus on the stuff that like

1084
00:59:26,080 --> 00:59:29,400
Speaker 1: you know you like you said, like what do you want?

1085
00:59:29,480 --> 00:59:32,760
Speaker 1: Like I want my skin to be like right, and

1086
00:59:32,840 --> 00:59:35,480
Speaker 1: so like yeah, right now, I'm like what are the

1087
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:39,440
Speaker 1: what are the peels that work for you know, skin

1088
00:59:39,520 --> 00:59:42,280
Speaker 1: that gets like discoloration, Like my skin has a lot

1089
00:59:42,360 --> 00:59:44,840
Speaker 1: of like when I get acne, it'll get these like

1090
00:59:44,920 --> 00:59:47,600
Speaker 1: dark spots. And I'm like what works on this? Like

1091
00:59:48,360 --> 00:59:51,840
Speaker 1: what what products might work on this? Who like what

1092
00:59:51,920 --> 00:59:54,080
Speaker 1: are the you know, what are what are some of

1093
00:59:54,080 --> 00:59:56,560
Speaker 1: the best reviewed products that work on this? Are there

1094
00:59:56,560 --> 00:59:58,880
Speaker 1: any specific like I know that I'm not going to

1095
00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:01,840
Speaker 1: slather a cream this because I've already got like ten

1096
01:00:01,880 --> 01:00:05,560
Speaker 1: steps in my skincare routine. But a sticker, if there's

1097
01:00:05,560 --> 01:00:08,120
Speaker 1: a sticker that'll fay that dark spot. So like I

1098
01:00:08,160 --> 01:00:11,000
Speaker 1: was googling stickers that'll face you know, like drill down

1099
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:14,160
Speaker 1: on the thing that's important to you and like, you know,

1100
01:00:14,320 --> 01:00:16,640
Speaker 1: dig around and see, like what you don't have to

1101
01:00:16,680 --> 01:00:19,040
Speaker 1: do everything. You don't have to be like ice bath

1102
01:00:19,120 --> 01:00:22,520
Speaker 1: and intermittent fasting and red light therapy and breathwork and

1103
01:00:22,680 --> 01:00:25,440
Speaker 1: supplements and journaling, and you don't have to do all

1104
01:00:25,480 --> 01:00:29,360
Speaker 1: of it. No things that you like and do it,

1105
01:00:29,640 --> 01:00:30,000
Speaker 1: you know.

1106
01:00:30,160 --> 01:00:32,080
Speaker 2: The ones that make you feel good and the ones

1107
01:00:32,120 --> 01:00:36,400
Speaker 2: that make you feel energized. And yeah, and see you know,

1108
01:00:39,120 --> 01:00:42,840
Speaker 2: also anybody that's on social media, the second I see

1109
01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:47,440
Speaker 2: that they are selling anything, I no longer take that advice.

1110
01:00:47,560 --> 01:00:50,880
Speaker 1: I know, I know, I know Pinnacle or.

1111
01:00:52,800 --> 01:00:57,120
Speaker 2: I'm cynical like that, or wellness influencers that post every day.

1112
01:00:57,760 --> 01:01:00,520
Speaker 2: I'm like, now you're just searching for things and cherry

1113
01:01:00,560 --> 01:01:04,080
Speaker 2: picking things out of studies because you need to post today. Yeah, yeah,

1114
01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:06,720
Speaker 2: like there are some out there, there are some doctors

1115
01:01:06,720 --> 01:01:09,320
Speaker 2: on Instagram that do not post every day. We post

1116
01:01:09,360 --> 01:01:11,200
Speaker 2: when they have something to say, or when a new

1117
01:01:11,240 --> 01:01:14,560
Speaker 2: study comes out, or and I tend to find myself

1118
01:01:14,600 --> 01:01:17,480
Speaker 2: trusting those more than the ones who are like really

1119
01:01:17,520 --> 01:01:22,480
Speaker 2: living that like content creator life, or you know, they're

1120
01:01:22,560 --> 01:01:25,840
Speaker 2: selling anything. I just I know, I'm sorry if this

1121
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:28,720
Speaker 2: is very cynical, I just don't trust it. I just,

1122
01:01:28,520 --> 01:01:33,920
Speaker 2: I mean, I just said, I start getting real suspicious.

1123
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:36,960
Speaker 1: That Aby Young method looks like it works. That's that

1124
01:01:37,040 --> 01:01:39,080
Speaker 1: girl with a gorgeous hair that's like, you need to

1125
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:42,440
Speaker 1: buy these products. She doesn't sell the products herself. That

1126
01:01:42,480 --> 01:01:44,160
Speaker 1: she's this girl that was like I was trying to

1127
01:01:44,160 --> 01:01:46,520
Speaker 1: figure out how to like make my hair healthier and better.

1128
01:01:46,640 --> 01:01:50,240
Speaker 1: And there's so many women on TikTok that have tried

1129
01:01:50,280 --> 01:01:52,720
Speaker 1: her methods, and a lot of her products are drugstore products,

1130
01:01:52,720 --> 01:01:56,160
Speaker 1: which I've always been like, a, I don't buy drugstore shampoo.

1131
01:01:56,200 --> 01:01:57,000
Speaker 2: I mean, will you send this?

1132
01:01:57,360 --> 01:01:57,560
Speaker 1: Yes?

1133
01:01:57,600 --> 01:01:58,880
Speaker 2: Please please send this Toime.

1134
01:01:58,960 --> 01:02:01,080
Speaker 1: Yes, I will. I'm going to try it. I want

1135
01:02:01,080 --> 01:02:03,040
Speaker 1: to try it. I want to like see if it

1136
01:02:03,120 --> 01:02:07,200
Speaker 1: helps me my hair back out. We also had a

1137
01:02:07,200 --> 01:02:11,640
Speaker 1: listener Kaylie, who sent us an email recently challenging us

1138
01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:15,520
Speaker 1: to we tried being that girl for a week episode,

1139
01:02:16,280 --> 01:02:18,840
Speaker 1: which I'm dreading, but like I kind of want to

1140
01:02:18,880 --> 01:02:22,760
Speaker 1: do it, like I want to see it. Like I

1141
01:02:22,760 --> 01:02:24,160
Speaker 1: don't know what we're going to do. We're gonna have

1142
01:02:24,280 --> 01:02:25,760
Speaker 1: to figure out what we're going to do, but I

1143
01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:32,760
Speaker 1: don't know, right, Okay, let's do our last little email,

1144
01:02:32,880 --> 01:02:34,240
Speaker 1: which was actually.

1145
01:02:35,160 --> 01:02:42,600
Speaker 2: Oh yes, all right. Uh this is from B just

1146
01:02:42,680 --> 01:02:45,640
Speaker 2: dropping a note to tell you how I was directly

1147
01:02:45,680 --> 01:02:50,480
Speaker 2: influenced by the October Authentic story Telling episode. I listened

1148
01:02:50,520 --> 01:02:53,280
Speaker 2: to a variety of podcasts for background, background noise, and

1149
01:02:53,320 --> 01:02:56,960
Speaker 2: to keep my ADHD brain on task doing chores. When

1150
01:02:57,000 --> 01:03:00,320
Speaker 2: guests Gloria Calderon Kellett said that everyone, if not in

1151
01:03:00,320 --> 01:03:03,520
Speaker 2: your industry, should have someone introduce them like they were

1152
01:03:03,680 --> 01:03:07,560
Speaker 2: a featured event attendee, I laid my partially peeled old

1153
01:03:07,600 --> 01:03:09,800
Speaker 2: banana on the cutting board and turned the mixer off.

1154
01:03:09,840 --> 01:03:12,320
Speaker 2: Banana bread would have to wait. Y'all talked for I

1155
01:03:12,360 --> 01:03:14,840
Speaker 2: don't know how much longer, but I because I quit listening.

1156
01:03:15,800 --> 01:03:18,000
Speaker 2: I went to my office or a pen and cards.

1157
01:03:18,080 --> 01:03:21,160
Speaker 2: I immediately made a list lists are my Superpower and

1158
01:03:21,240 --> 01:03:23,800
Speaker 2: wrote cards to ten of the most important women in

1159
01:03:23,840 --> 01:03:26,760
Speaker 2: my life. Each began with if I was asked to

1160
01:03:26,840 --> 01:03:29,240
Speaker 2: introduce you as a featured speaker or at a global

1161
01:03:29,280 --> 01:03:32,560
Speaker 2: movie premiere, I would say dot dot dot. I do

1162
01:03:32,640 --> 01:03:36,360
Speaker 2: not personally enjoy public recognition. I've actually had to tell

1163
01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:38,919
Speaker 2: bosses in the past not to congratulate me in front

1164
01:03:38,960 --> 01:03:42,240
Speaker 2: of groups because it's very demotivating. I do have a

1165
01:03:42,320 --> 01:03:45,640
Speaker 2: habit when things are tough, when things are tough personally

1166
01:03:45,640 --> 01:03:49,240
Speaker 2: for me, of doing what I refer to as gratitude hard.

1167
01:03:49,640 --> 01:03:52,360
Speaker 2: Gratitude hard is when I set aside my hard stuff

1168
01:03:52,640 --> 01:03:55,000
Speaker 2: and take time to raise up and thank other people

1169
01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:57,960
Speaker 2: in my life in a very personal way. The season

1170
01:03:57,960 --> 01:04:00,360
Speaker 2: of life is particularly tough for my small face family.

1171
01:04:00,720 --> 01:04:03,720
Speaker 2: I was part of a large corporate reduction in enforced

1172
01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:06,960
Speaker 2: last spring, and finding a role has been challenging in

1173
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:10,560
Speaker 2: the world of AI screened resumes, a garbage hiring economy,

1174
01:04:10,640 --> 01:04:14,760
Speaker 2: and political leadershit. Yes, I spelled it correctly. I'm in

1175
01:04:14,840 --> 01:04:17,960
Speaker 2: my mid forties, so I have had enough experience to

1176
01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:21,600
Speaker 2: be expensive as a hire. In June, we found out

1177
01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:26,400
Speaker 2: that my husband has metastatic, recurring stage four pancreatic cancer

1178
01:04:26,520 --> 01:04:29,560
Speaker 2: in the lungs. He's incredible and is doing well with

1179
01:04:29,640 --> 01:04:32,120
Speaker 2: treatment and feels better than he did three years at

1180
01:04:32,160 --> 01:04:36,960
Speaker 2: primary pancreatic cancer diagnosis. Our son turned four in October

1181
01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:39,320
Speaker 2: and is a feral distraction in all the right and

1182
01:04:39,400 --> 01:04:42,800
Speaker 2: wrong times. We don't live near family or friends, which

1183
01:04:42,840 --> 01:04:44,960
Speaker 2: makes it hard for them to help with daily life,

1184
01:04:44,960 --> 01:04:47,200
Speaker 2: but man, they show up for us in amazing ways

1185
01:04:47,200 --> 01:04:50,520
Speaker 2: without physically being here. There are lots of emotions to

1186
01:04:50,560 --> 01:04:52,959
Speaker 2: cycle through in our house, and I've been stuck trying

1187
01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:55,160
Speaker 2: to make sure my beautiful women know how much they

1188
01:04:55,200 --> 01:04:58,040
Speaker 2: mean to me. So I did exactly what Gloria said

1189
01:04:58,400 --> 01:05:01,680
Speaker 2: and hand wrote them cards with how I would introduce them,

1190
01:05:02,120 --> 01:05:04,840
Speaker 2: a small glimpse of the version of them I see

1191
01:05:04,960 --> 01:05:07,600
Speaker 2: every day and how they love my family and live life.

1192
01:05:08,320 --> 01:05:10,720
Speaker 2: Thank you, You've inspired love to be sent to the

1193
01:05:10,720 --> 01:05:13,200
Speaker 2: hearts and minds of beautiful women you will never meet.

1194
01:05:14,080 --> 01:05:19,160
Speaker 2: And I am praying. I think this is really beautiful.

1195
01:05:19,480 --> 01:05:21,880
Speaker 2: I send so much love to be and her family

1196
01:05:22,080 --> 01:05:25,520
Speaker 2: and her husband while he goes through treatment, and their son,

1197
01:05:26,360 --> 01:05:30,000
Speaker 2: And uh, yeah, I wanted to read this because I

1198
01:05:30,040 --> 01:05:33,880
Speaker 2: thought that that was such a powerful idea. I loved

1199
01:05:33,920 --> 01:05:39,400
Speaker 2: when Gloria said that. I remember thinking, oh my gosh,

1200
01:05:39,400 --> 01:05:41,200
Speaker 2: like the next time we have a little gathering at

1201
01:05:41,240 --> 01:05:43,040
Speaker 2: our house, like I'm gonna try to do that when

1202
01:05:43,080 --> 01:05:48,640
Speaker 2: I open the door for each person. But the idea

1203
01:05:48,680 --> 01:05:54,640
Speaker 2: of doing it in a card is really beautiful and amazing,

1204
01:05:54,680 --> 01:05:58,080
Speaker 2: and it's a great idea for even for no reason,

1205
01:05:58,480 --> 01:06:05,080
Speaker 2: for out of the blue, for birthday, for anniversary, you know,

1206
01:06:05,400 --> 01:06:10,640
Speaker 2: because it's it's it's true. I recently went to I

1207
01:06:10,680 --> 01:06:12,720
Speaker 2: was thinking about this too because I recently went to

1208
01:06:12,800 --> 01:06:17,280
Speaker 2: a memorial of a friend and the speeches were amazing

1209
01:06:17,440 --> 01:06:21,720
Speaker 2: and incredible, and I had that thought during it where

1210
01:06:22,480 --> 01:06:26,080
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm pretty sure this person knew that

1211
01:06:26,240 --> 01:06:31,480
Speaker 2: this this was the light they put into every person's life.

1212
01:06:31,640 --> 01:06:35,360
Speaker 2: But man, I really hope like we need to tell

1213
01:06:35,400 --> 01:06:39,880
Speaker 2: each other more, you know, like we need to to

1214
01:06:39,920 --> 01:06:42,680
Speaker 2: be like, hey, man, do you know that you make

1215
01:06:42,800 --> 01:06:47,520
Speaker 2: people feel like they're you're an instant friend, Like you

1216
01:06:47,640 --> 01:06:50,480
Speaker 2: just have this way about you. Like I feel like

1217
01:06:50,520 --> 01:06:53,080
Speaker 2: we don't do that enough. I don't do that enough.

1218
01:06:55,120 --> 01:06:59,600
Speaker 2: Like just letting people know how you see them and

1219
01:06:59,640 --> 01:07:03,200
Speaker 2: how they present and like the little amazing things about

1220
01:07:03,240 --> 01:07:09,200
Speaker 2: them I think is really important, like don't save it,

1221
01:07:09,520 --> 01:07:14,400
Speaker 2: don't you know, And this idea of how you would

1222
01:07:14,400 --> 01:07:19,400
Speaker 2: introduce them at an important event or you know, even

1223
01:07:19,440 --> 01:07:22,400
Speaker 2: thinking more darkly, like, what would you say about them

1224
01:07:22,400 --> 01:07:29,120
Speaker 2: at their memorial? Say it now? Tell them now? Yeah,

1225
01:07:29,160 --> 01:07:31,840
Speaker 2: So I just yeah, we wanted to share that because

1226
01:07:31,880 --> 01:07:34,400
Speaker 2: I thought that that was really beautiful and really beautiful

1227
01:07:34,880 --> 01:07:37,520
Speaker 2: something I'm going to remember and something I'm maybe going

1228
01:07:37,600 --> 01:07:51,240
Speaker 2: to try to do. Yeah, more better? Do you feel

1229
01:07:51,240 --> 01:07:51,760
Speaker 2: more better?

1230
01:07:54,640 --> 01:07:59,120
Speaker 1: You know it's weird, how uh? I don't know. When

1231
01:07:59,120 --> 01:08:01,160
Speaker 1: I was a kid, I never could have imagined a

1232
01:08:01,200 --> 01:08:06,120
Speaker 1: world in which, like you talk to your friends, you

1233
01:08:06,200 --> 01:08:10,400
Speaker 1: put it somewhere and then other people hear it and

1234
01:08:10,440 --> 01:08:14,040
Speaker 1: then it does something to their heart and then they

1235
01:08:14,080 --> 01:08:16,519
Speaker 1: do something and then you know, it's like a weird

1236
01:08:18,600 --> 01:08:23,000
Speaker 1: ripple effect that I never ever could have imagined as

1237
01:08:23,040 --> 01:08:28,760
Speaker 1: a child. That is pretty amazing. What about you? Do

1238
01:08:28,800 --> 01:08:29,599
Speaker 1: you feel more better?

1239
01:08:29,920 --> 01:08:33,360
Speaker 2: I do feel more better? And just to add on

1240
01:08:33,400 --> 01:08:35,840
Speaker 2: to what you just said, which is so true and

1241
01:08:35,920 --> 01:08:40,479
Speaker 2: so beautiful. And then they turned around and gave us

1242
01:08:40,680 --> 01:08:45,479
Speaker 2: a beautiful gift of this Gratitude project idea that I

1243
01:08:45,640 --> 01:08:47,600
Speaker 2: want to implement in my life. And I think that

1244
01:08:47,880 --> 01:08:50,800
Speaker 2: was sort of our dream when we started this, all

1245
01:08:50,880 --> 01:08:53,960
Speaker 2: that it would be this sort of community feeling that

1246
01:08:54,040 --> 01:08:55,920
Speaker 2: it wasn't. We did not want to, you know, that's

1247
01:08:55,920 --> 01:08:58,280
Speaker 2: why we're always like, we're not experts, we don't know.

1248
01:08:58,400 --> 01:09:01,519
Speaker 2: We're just gonna talk this shit out, like you know,

1249
01:09:01,640 --> 01:09:03,840
Speaker 2: and that it would be a back and forth with

1250
01:09:04,360 --> 01:09:08,280
Speaker 2: the people in this community we've created. And yeah, this

1251
01:09:08,560 --> 01:09:11,839
Speaker 2: just felt like such a special example of that. Yeah,

1252
01:09:11,920 --> 01:09:16,439
Speaker 2: because I can't wait to do that for my girlfriends now.

1253
01:09:17,439 --> 01:09:19,800
Speaker 2: It's so nice. So thank you for that letter, and

1254
01:09:19,840 --> 01:09:22,080
Speaker 2: thank you for the great idea, and thanks for listening.

1255
01:09:22,120 --> 01:09:23,400
Speaker 1: You got your letters?

1256
01:09:23,560 --> 01:09:26,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, all the letters. Keep them comment, keep them comment.

1257
01:09:26,840 --> 01:09:27,519
Speaker 1: We like them.

1258
01:09:28,080 --> 01:09:30,880
Speaker 2: Okay, see you next time, See you next time.

1259
01:09:31,040 --> 01:09:35,920
Speaker 1: Bye bye, More Better. Do you have something you'd like

1260
01:09:35,960 --> 01:09:37,360
Speaker 1: to be more better at that you want us to

1261
01:09:37,360 --> 01:09:38,639
Speaker 1: talk about in a future episode?

1262
01:09:38,760 --> 01:09:41,160
Speaker 2: Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried

1263
01:09:41,200 --> 01:09:42,280
Speaker 2: one of our tips and tricks?

1264
01:09:42,520 --> 01:09:45,479
Speaker 1: Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at

1265
01:09:45,479 --> 01:09:48,400
Speaker 1: gmail dot com and include a voice note if you

1266
01:09:48,400 --> 01:09:51,080
Speaker 1: want to be featured on the pod. Ooh, More Better

1267
01:09:51,120 --> 01:09:54,120
Speaker 1: with Stephanie Melissa is a production from WV Sound and

1268
01:09:54,200 --> 01:09:58,680
Speaker 1: iHeartMedia's Mikutura podcast network, hosted by Me, Stephanie Beatriz, and

1269
01:09:58,800 --> 01:10:01,960
Speaker 1: Melissa Fumera. More Better is produced by Isis Madrid and

1270
01:10:02,040 --> 01:10:03,240
Speaker 1: Sophie Spencer Zabos.

1271
01:10:03,760 --> 01:10:07,960
Speaker 2: Our executive producers are Stephanie Beatrice, myself, Melissa Lamerow, along

1272
01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:11,040
Speaker 2: with Wilmar Valderrama and Leo Klem at w V Sound

1273
01:10:11,240 --> 01:10:12,280
Speaker 2: and ISIS Madrid.

1274
01:10:12,479 --> 01:10:15,599
Speaker 1: This episode was edited by ISIS Madrid and engineered by

1275
01:10:15,640 --> 01:10:19,040
Speaker 1: Sean Tracy and features original music by Madison Davenport and

1276
01:10:19,080 --> 01:10:21,640
Speaker 1: Hello Boy. Our cover art is by vincent Remy's and

1277
01:10:21,680 --> 01:10:25,559
Speaker 1: photography by David Avalos. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit

1278
01:10:25,600 --> 01:10:28,639
Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.

1279
01:10:28,479 --> 01:10:40,400
Speaker 2: To your favorite shows. See you next week, suck us Bye,