1 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 1: Monica Burke international speaker, spiritual thought leader, author, and a 2 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:19,040 Speaker 1: co host of Spiritually Hungry podcast is Here. Monica's mission 3 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:21,439 Speaker 1: is to show individuals how to create a life that 4 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:24,639 Speaker 1: not only feels like it's working, but most importantly, a 5 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:28,320 Speaker 1: life in which they are living and loving as the powerful, 6 00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:33,360 Speaker 1: fulfilled person they've always wanted to be. Hi, Monica, Hello, 7 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:36,560 Speaker 1: we just figured out we're both from Louisiana. I love 8 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:38,000 Speaker 1: meeting a fellow Louisianian. 9 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:40,519 Speaker 2: I know me too. I don't have the accent, but 10 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,320 Speaker 2: I know, which is kind of odd. 11 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:45,000 Speaker 1: You said you're from Thibodeau, which is very like Cajun 12 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:45,959 Speaker 1: country typically. 13 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:50,040 Speaker 3: I think in my house because English was not the 14 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 3: first language my parents, Aarns are from the released. And 15 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:55,200 Speaker 3: then I think, if you mix everything together, you know, 16 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:58,480 Speaker 3: I just I think I decided which I was going 17 00:00:58,560 --> 00:00:59,040 Speaker 3: to choose. 18 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:00,880 Speaker 2: I'm all over the place. 19 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:05,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Well, I was telling your rev when we 20 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,080 Speaker 1: first started talking. I really wanted to get you on 21 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:10,600 Speaker 1: the podcast this month, specifically because we have a Word 22 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:13,240 Speaker 1: of the Month every month, and this month's word is abandoned. 23 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:15,959 Speaker 1: And I love the work that you're doing because what 24 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:21,200 Speaker 1: initially sparked my connecting with that word, and your work 25 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 1: is that so much of your work involves letting go 26 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:27,839 Speaker 1: of old narratives that don't serve us and really adopting 27 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,399 Speaker 1: these new narratives that really help people step into their 28 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:33,240 Speaker 1: own power. So if we could just give the listeners 29 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:35,880 Speaker 1: a little foundation to start, what are the best tools 30 00:01:35,959 --> 00:01:37,080 Speaker 1: for internal growth? 31 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:41,360 Speaker 3: Well, it starts with checking where your consciousness is at, 32 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:47,920 Speaker 3: because everything starts their consciousness is power, and the strength 33 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:50,240 Speaker 3: really comes from the ability to change the way we 34 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:53,320 Speaker 3: think about things. And I think often people don't challenge 35 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:55,520 Speaker 3: themselves in that way. They have a belief system and 36 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:58,960 Speaker 3: they don't often stop the question, well how did I 37 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,920 Speaker 3: adopt that belief? Soys where did it come from? Is 38 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,040 Speaker 3: it really mine? Or is the thoughts that I was 39 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,400 Speaker 3: raised with and it's kind of somehow now a narrative 40 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:09,280 Speaker 3: for me. So the first is consciousness. Check where you're at, 41 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:11,320 Speaker 3: check your belief systems. Know that you have the power 42 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:14,440 Speaker 3: to change any thought, and then from that anything's possible. 43 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:16,000 Speaker 2: So we catch the thought. 44 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:18,080 Speaker 3: If it's not positive, you change it, and then you 45 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:21,520 Speaker 3: follow it with immediate action. I think often we stay 46 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:24,560 Speaker 3: in our heads far too long and we replace thought 47 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,640 Speaker 3: for action, and we think, oh, if we're thinking about 48 00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:29,320 Speaker 3: it and we're talking about it, then somehow we're affecting change. 49 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:31,760 Speaker 2: But it doesn't really work like that, right. 50 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:33,919 Speaker 1: I love the idea of just being able to change 51 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,639 Speaker 1: our thoughts, but I also know that for me, it's 52 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:39,880 Speaker 1: not as simple as that. Typically, you know, like it's 53 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:42,919 Speaker 1: just like if I could just change it overnight or whatever, 54 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,440 Speaker 1: then I would, but I can get stuck ruminating. So 55 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:48,000 Speaker 1: what would you say to people who might struggle with 56 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:51,320 Speaker 1: that same kind of like overthinking or ruminating or anything 57 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:51,760 Speaker 1: like that. 58 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:54,840 Speaker 3: I think we all have that to some extent. I 59 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:58,440 Speaker 3: certainly understand what you're saying. I've been there. Sometimes I 60 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:00,800 Speaker 3: can go and visit that place, but I'm happy there. 61 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:04,880 Speaker 3: So I think it's about understanding your purpose, which is 62 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:07,839 Speaker 3: a much much broader topic I'm aware of, and most 63 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,959 Speaker 3: people struggle their whole lives saying, well, I don't even 64 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,760 Speaker 3: know who I meant to be or what I meant 65 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 3: to do. And we think of ourselves in terms of success, 66 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,800 Speaker 3: like I'm success if I'm recognized in my job, or 67 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:19,840 Speaker 3: if I have something to show for my life, or 68 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:23,200 Speaker 3: if other people recognize me. And I think if that's 69 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:27,680 Speaker 3: the pursuit of your life. Really, it's understandable why it'd 70 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:31,200 Speaker 3: be stuck in thought because all of that's about external right, 71 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:32,440 Speaker 3: What do people think? 72 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,920 Speaker 2: How do they see me? How is my life viewed 73 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:35,880 Speaker 2: versus internal? 74 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 3: Which really is how do I feel when I wake 75 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:39,520 Speaker 3: up in the morning, How do I feel when I 76 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:40,120 Speaker 3: go to sleep? 77 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:43,200 Speaker 2: What is my internal dialogue? Is it supportive? Is it kind? 78 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:48,320 Speaker 3: Is nurturing? What is my primary emotion each day? What's 79 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:51,080 Speaker 3: the thought that feeds that emotion? Right, So it's really 80 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:53,440 Speaker 3: about the relationship you have with yourself. And I think 81 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:56,120 Speaker 3: that when you start to be kind to yourself, which 82 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:59,240 Speaker 3: is a work of a lifetime really. But the good 83 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,120 Speaker 3: news is when you do these things that I'm saying, 84 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:04,000 Speaker 3: it becomes natural, it becomes normal, and then that becomes 85 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:04,640 Speaker 3: who you are. 86 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:07,440 Speaker 2: That's how transformation occurs. So when do you. 87 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 3: Start to do this, then those thoughts you have it's 88 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:13,000 Speaker 3: kind of like, well, your thoughts are now more positive 89 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:15,440 Speaker 3: and they're supportive, So it's not so much that you 90 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:18,479 Speaker 3: have to fight in changing and they are changing because 91 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:19,839 Speaker 3: the nature of them are different. 92 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 1: Is this how we get to a place of being 93 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:26,520 Speaker 1: able to manifest things like letting go of these old 94 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,719 Speaker 1: narratives and then kind of getting ourselves into a place 95 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:33,760 Speaker 1: of really looking at our purpose and having a relationship 96 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:36,040 Speaker 1: with ourselves. Is that where we can start to manifest? 97 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:39,719 Speaker 3: Absolutely, because the thing with manifesting sometimes people get stuck 98 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:41,520 Speaker 3: there too, and why is that you know, we have 99 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:44,240 Speaker 3: a goal, and then we forget the why behind the goal. 100 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:46,919 Speaker 3: So again, everything that we pursue or anything that we 101 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 3: want to manifest, there's always going to be an intention 102 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,839 Speaker 3: that precedes that. And in that intention you have to 103 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:54,080 Speaker 3: be clear is it coming from soul or is it 104 00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:57,080 Speaker 3: coming from ego? Why are you pursuing the things that 105 00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,440 Speaker 3: you're pursuing. The next part of that is you have 106 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 3: to have a clear vision of what it is you 107 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,520 Speaker 3: want to create. So, for instance, if somebody's going to 108 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:07,400 Speaker 3: build a house, before you would hire even the you 109 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:10,159 Speaker 3: know the contractor maybe you purchase the land, but you 110 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:12,799 Speaker 3: would have even before the architect, you'd have a vision 111 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,880 Speaker 3: of what that house would look like. Right, you'd know 112 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:16,479 Speaker 3: that when you're in the bathtub you wanted to see 113 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,400 Speaker 3: the sunset. Let's say you want to have a perfect 114 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:20,640 Speaker 3: view of a mountain, or you wanted the kitchen to 115 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:23,200 Speaker 3: be set up in a way like you knew exactly 116 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:24,120 Speaker 3: what it would. 117 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:25,919 Speaker 2: Look like, and in that vision it's perfect. 118 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:29,120 Speaker 3: Now, in the process of creating that house, there's going 119 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,080 Speaker 3: to be problems, there will be delayed, it's going to 120 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:35,120 Speaker 3: be overpriced and you know, over budget, all kinds of obstacles, 121 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:38,000 Speaker 3: going to take longer than you anticipated. But in your vision, 122 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 3: it's perfection. And I think that we need to view 123 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:43,160 Speaker 3: our lives in the same way. If we look at 124 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:47,000 Speaker 3: ourselves as a whole again, not what we do, but 125 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,480 Speaker 3: who we want to be. Right, if we approach our 126 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:52,720 Speaker 3: lives with more of the understanding of being rather than doing, 127 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,600 Speaker 3: and in that being, we have a perfected vision. Does 128 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:57,560 Speaker 3: I mean we're perfect because I don't like that word, 129 00:05:57,600 --> 00:06:01,000 Speaker 3: but perfected in the sense that you these start to 130 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:04,360 Speaker 3: develop all aspects of your self, body, mind, and spirit, 131 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:08,360 Speaker 3: that you're again creating a kinder narrative, that there's transformation 132 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:10,760 Speaker 3: and sharing in each and every day, and when you 133 00:06:10,839 --> 00:06:12,760 Speaker 3: do that, your life starts to really work in a 134 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:16,640 Speaker 3: way that supports you. So manifesting isn't some out something 135 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:19,760 Speaker 3: that's outside that you're, something that you're trying to pursue 136 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:23,279 Speaker 3: or chase after. It's something that is building within you 137 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:25,960 Speaker 3: and you're creating all the time. You become the co 138 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:27,120 Speaker 3: creator of your life. 139 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,440 Speaker 1: What emotions can get in the way of that? I 140 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,040 Speaker 1: know you talk about that a lot. 141 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:36,200 Speaker 3: Doubt for sure, imposter or syndrome, thinking that we can't 142 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:40,000 Speaker 3: really achieve, and really not believing that we all have 143 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:42,960 Speaker 3: the ability and are destined to be great. You know, 144 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:47,160 Speaker 3: we often think that greatness is reserved for the really special, 145 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:51,400 Speaker 3: unique people, when in reality, we all have greatness within us. 146 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:53,640 Speaker 3: We all are meant to tap into what makes us 147 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:58,120 Speaker 3: unique and authentic. But again, that requires thought and work 148 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:00,800 Speaker 3: and effort. And I think a lot about what I 149 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,600 Speaker 3: try to do with my work is I want to 150 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:05,039 Speaker 3: get people to think in this way, right because we 151 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:08,080 Speaker 3: put a lot of time and energy into the one 152 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:11,040 Speaker 3: percent reality, like physicality, what we came to, you know, 153 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 3: the five senses right, Wow, look how they taste, you know, 154 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,480 Speaker 3: and never in this other realm of like am I 155 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:20,760 Speaker 3: exploring things that you can't see that are intangible? 156 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:21,400 Speaker 2: Really? 157 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:24,080 Speaker 1: Like, what can you give us some examples? 158 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:29,360 Speaker 3: Those those big words like kindness and empathy, sharing, It's 159 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,520 Speaker 3: the things that you know at the end of the 160 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:35,720 Speaker 3: day when we may not be physically here anymore. All 161 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:40,520 Speaker 3: that we've done, every love we've offered to somebody, every action, 162 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:43,320 Speaker 3: every word that we've said, right, if it's part of 163 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:46,080 Speaker 3: something bigger in a way to help the world, remains 164 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:49,280 Speaker 3: after us. And it's not just reserved for Socrates and 165 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:53,240 Speaker 3: Plato and Emily Dickinson. We all have the ability to 166 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 3: leave that imprint. So that's that's really the ninety nine 167 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,320 Speaker 3: percent realm. It's all the things that are unseen. It's 168 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 3: what's allowing us to speak right now while I'm in 169 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:06,080 Speaker 3: New York and you're in Nashville, right, So it's that frequency. 170 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:10,200 Speaker 1: Well, you mentioned looking outside of yourself to find things, 171 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,080 Speaker 1: and I think that's such a common thing that we 172 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 1: all do or have done at some point in our life. 173 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:16,480 Speaker 1: And one of the things that really struck me about 174 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:19,000 Speaker 1: something you said was that there are ways to rethink 175 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:23,640 Speaker 1: the word loneliness. And I think that that is so interesting. 176 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:27,360 Speaker 1: So can you tell us five different ways? I think 177 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,520 Speaker 1: that's what your tips were, like, five different ways to 178 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:33,320 Speaker 1: rethink loneliness. And again it goes back to us abandoning 179 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:36,080 Speaker 1: these old narratives that we've thought of, Like I could 180 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:39,880 Speaker 1: attach loneliness to being bad, but are there ways to 181 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:40,720 Speaker 1: rethink that word. 182 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 3: Well, here's the thing with loneliness. It's something that, especially 183 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:48,640 Speaker 3: during the pandemic and even after so many people were lonely. 184 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:51,560 Speaker 3: I've seen it with people close to me. You know, 185 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,360 Speaker 3: they lose a loved one or or their partner that 186 00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 3: they've been married to for years, and even if it 187 00:08:56,679 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 3: wasn't the love of their life, still they find themselves alone. 188 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:03,240 Speaker 3: And then you know other people who are physically alone, 189 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 3: but they never feel lonely, so they're very different. Being 190 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:08,600 Speaker 3: alone and feeling lonely are two separate things because you 191 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:11,160 Speaker 3: can also be in a room of thousands of people 192 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:14,840 Speaker 3: and feel lonely. You can be in your relationship and 193 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:19,720 Speaker 3: feel lonely. So I have found that really what's at 194 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,040 Speaker 3: the heart of being lonely is when you don't feel 195 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:25,000 Speaker 3: comfortable in your own skin, when you don't really like 196 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:27,360 Speaker 3: who you are, and that's not enough for you. So 197 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:31,120 Speaker 3: it's constantly looking outside of you know, feed me, give me, 198 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:35,320 Speaker 3: making me feel whole, make me feel better. And when 199 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:38,280 Speaker 3: a person has a great connection to self and also 200 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:41,880 Speaker 3: something higher themselves, I call it the creator. Some people 201 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:44,040 Speaker 3: call it nature, you can call it God. But there 202 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,720 Speaker 3: has to be that kind of I understand that there's 203 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:50,120 Speaker 3: a bigger purpose to my existence and kind of explore 204 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:54,959 Speaker 3: that and live that. So that's the overarching idea. There 205 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:58,480 Speaker 3: are a few tips that I'll go through. One is 206 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:02,960 Speaker 3: to take the mask off. Okay, oh, Shels Silverstein in 207 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:06,360 Speaker 3: his book, he wrote, if you wear a mask to 208 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:09,280 Speaker 3: hide yourself, how will your friends find you? And if 209 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:11,720 Speaker 3: they're wearing a mask, how will you recognize them? So 210 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,480 Speaker 3: the point is we go through life with masks on. Right. 211 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:17,040 Speaker 3: We want people to like us, we want them to 212 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:19,960 Speaker 3: accept us, But then what we're showing them is not 213 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:23,520 Speaker 3: really ourselves, not our truth. We're walking with masks, and 214 00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:26,120 Speaker 3: we think that nobody. If we're going through a hard time, 215 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,400 Speaker 3: or let's say we're feeling lonely, we think we're the 216 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,360 Speaker 3: only ones to be experiencing that. But if we showed 217 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,600 Speaker 3: that part ourselves, we'd be able to recognize those other 218 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,760 Speaker 3: people that are feeling the same way, and they'll be 219 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,880 Speaker 3: able to see us as well. So I think it's 220 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,440 Speaker 3: such a powerful idea. Just take the mask off. I 221 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:42,280 Speaker 3: kind of butcher the poems. I'm going to read it 222 00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:45,800 Speaker 3: while we're diameing from it. So he said, if you 223 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:48,240 Speaker 3: wear a mask to hide yourself, how will your friends 224 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:50,839 Speaker 3: find you? And if they're wearing a mask, how will 225 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:54,960 Speaker 3: you recognize them? Just so simple and so bad. Yes, 226 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:59,280 Speaker 3: so abandon the mask. The other thing is abandon perfection. 227 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 3: I was a perfectionist. I'm a virgo. I'm very detailed oriented. 228 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:08,440 Speaker 3: I like the feeling of it, like the way it looks, 229 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:09,600 Speaker 3: in the way I'm organized. 230 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:10,960 Speaker 2: It helps me navigate life. 231 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:14,800 Speaker 3: But that impossible goal of me trying to be perfect 232 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:18,800 Speaker 3: led me to a debilitating eating disorder in my teen 233 00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:23,160 Speaker 3: years young adult life, and I realized that it was 234 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:26,400 Speaker 3: a source and cost for great unhappiness. So it's a 235 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:30,120 Speaker 3: word that I never use. It's an impossibility, And when 236 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,800 Speaker 3: we try to be perfect again, it's a way to 237 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:37,840 Speaker 3: shut everybody out. Really look like you are untouchable and 238 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:40,760 Speaker 3: therefore you won't be hurt. Right, So which leads me 239 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:44,080 Speaker 3: to the third one, lose the facade, Because part of 240 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,679 Speaker 3: that perfection I thought, you know, if I'm unassailable, then 241 00:11:46,679 --> 00:11:48,720 Speaker 3: nobody can ever hurt me. If I look like I've 242 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,760 Speaker 3: got everything in control, nobody can tap into anything that 243 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:54,400 Speaker 3: I don't want, then I'll be safe. And it really 244 00:11:54,559 --> 00:11:59,120 Speaker 3: it's it's a recipe for loneliness and for unhappiness. So 245 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,880 Speaker 3: I think that for listeners, really check where you're at 246 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,520 Speaker 3: at this point in your life. You know, how often 247 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:06,320 Speaker 3: are you wearing a mask and you really wish that 248 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 3: you could just show your authentic, true self. You know 249 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:11,240 Speaker 3: how often you're try and be perfect because you think 250 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:14,360 Speaker 3: that then people won't hurt you or reject you, or 251 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,560 Speaker 3: may like you and accept you. And it's the opposite, 252 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:19,280 Speaker 3: because they're never really able to penetrate you and who 253 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:20,560 Speaker 3: you are and tap into that. 254 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, I always talk about this on the podcast, but 255 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:26,079 Speaker 1: one of the greatest gifts that it's given me is 256 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:30,120 Speaker 1: coming on to the podcast speaking to people like you, 257 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:33,000 Speaker 1: and then also just connecting with the listeners because I 258 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,040 Speaker 1: feel like, you know, sometimes I'll share part of my 259 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:37,280 Speaker 1: story or a guest will share a part of their story, 260 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:40,640 Speaker 1: and I'm getting so much feedback about how much that 261 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:45,280 Speaker 1: resonated with some listener's exact story, and through that, you know, 262 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:49,520 Speaker 1: that feeling of connection is one of the For me, 263 00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:51,840 Speaker 1: it's one of the most driving forces for anything in 264 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:54,680 Speaker 1: my life because then it allows me to become more 265 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,720 Speaker 1: authentic and just like you're talking about, I don't feel 266 00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,320 Speaker 1: lonely in this world, you know, like just had that 267 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,720 Speaker 1: human connection piece is so so so important for all. 268 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:07,760 Speaker 3: Of us exactly. I mean, what is it all about 269 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:11,960 Speaker 3: if not that. That's why I love sharing my stories. 270 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:14,599 Speaker 3: And even when I'm in the middle of a process, 271 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:18,240 Speaker 3: not just the things that I feel like I triumph, 272 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:23,440 Speaker 3: but my failures and faults. I do that because I 273 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:25,800 Speaker 3: understand something great when I get on the other side 274 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,000 Speaker 3: of it. There's some kind of transformation that's occurred, and 275 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,000 Speaker 3: I think that's inspiring. But I also do it because 276 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:33,120 Speaker 3: I want to give people that permission to do it 277 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,840 Speaker 3: for themselves. And really, you know, there's nothing to be 278 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:38,280 Speaker 3: ashamed about. We're all in the middle of a process. 279 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:38,679 Speaker 2: I think. 280 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:41,160 Speaker 3: Unfortunately people think that they've arrived at some point in 281 00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:44,960 Speaker 3: their lives and we're forever changing, right, But by the way, 282 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,800 Speaker 3: it's up to us if the change is positive or negative. 283 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:50,439 Speaker 2: But know that you are always changing and every man. 284 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:54,560 Speaker 1: What's that quote, It's like the one constant thing in 285 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:55,480 Speaker 1: life is changed. 286 00:13:55,840 --> 00:14:05,480 Speaker 2: There's something. Yeah, I love that one. 287 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,000 Speaker 1: Well, you kind of touched on this, but I also 288 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:11,160 Speaker 1: agree with you that every person here on this earth, 289 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:14,600 Speaker 1: every human has an innate sense of power or an 290 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:18,120 Speaker 1: innate power within them. So I want to talk about 291 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:22,840 Speaker 1: how we can step into owning our own power, and specifically, 292 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:24,440 Speaker 1: like I don't know if you see this, but with 293 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:27,200 Speaker 1: a lot of women in my life, I find that 294 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,880 Speaker 1: it takes us a little bit longer to kind of 295 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,360 Speaker 1: figure out how to step into our power. And I 296 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:34,520 Speaker 1: don't know if that's programming or what it is, but 297 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:36,560 Speaker 1: could you speak to both of those topics a little bit. 298 00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:39,920 Speaker 3: But I think as women, all things were not created 299 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:42,320 Speaker 3: equally in the world, and I think that we had 300 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,960 Speaker 3: to do a lot more to have our voices be 301 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:49,200 Speaker 3: heard and not sound you know, like the B word, 302 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,080 Speaker 3: And you know, men can get away with things that 303 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:54,160 Speaker 3: I think that women couldn't. I think that there's still 304 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,920 Speaker 3: an aspect of that. But I think we want to 305 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,440 Speaker 3: come off and we were raised this way right to 306 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:05,080 Speaker 3: be liked and appropriate and not too loud or too bossy, 307 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:07,800 Speaker 3: you know, kind of just take care of everything. So 308 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:10,080 Speaker 3: I think we had a lot of things to kind 309 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:12,760 Speaker 3: of change in that way. And and the other part, 310 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:17,160 Speaker 3: I think just as women usually we tend not to 311 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:20,640 Speaker 3: be as confident, you know. And I think that idea 312 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:24,760 Speaker 3: of sisterhood happens when we're young and we are girlfriends, 313 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:26,720 Speaker 3: and then when we get older, we think we need 314 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,200 Speaker 3: to compete against one another, and then we put all 315 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:34,120 Speaker 3: of our energy into our romantic partner, you know, our spouse, 316 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:37,400 Speaker 3: and then we don't realize that we actually need that. 317 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:38,960 Speaker 2: Female energy in our lives. 318 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:42,680 Speaker 3: And so I think all of that powers is not 319 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,600 Speaker 3: what we thought it was. It's not about you know again, 320 00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:48,960 Speaker 3: seeming like you have it all under control and not 321 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:52,160 Speaker 3: upsetting anybody. Power is to show your rawness and your 322 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:55,720 Speaker 3: vulnerability and allow people in. I think that's truly the 323 00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:59,320 Speaker 3: biggest strength. So I think part of owning your power 324 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:03,080 Speaker 3: is to know that you're resilient, that anything that happens 325 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:07,560 Speaker 3: to you, you can choose your response. And I think 326 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,720 Speaker 3: part of that is to really appreciate challenges for what 327 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 3: they are. There was a study done where they built 328 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:17,960 Speaker 3: an ecosystem and they thought of everything they built. You know, 329 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,800 Speaker 3: there were trees, and they put wolves, and they put 330 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:23,000 Speaker 3: all of the insects, animals, everything you would need for 331 00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:27,080 Speaker 3: a perfect ecosystem. And at first it was thriving, everything 332 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:30,080 Speaker 3: was flourishing, growing, and they're like, wow, we can create 333 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:32,320 Speaker 3: these kinds of ecosystems and they're perfect. 334 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:35,640 Speaker 2: And then a year into that study, the trees started. 335 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,880 Speaker 3: To fall down, and at first they didn't know what 336 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:40,360 Speaker 3: it was, like, why are these healthy trees suddenly just 337 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,880 Speaker 3: completely falling over? And they realized the one thing they 338 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:47,480 Speaker 3: didn't introduce into the ecosystem was wind, because the wind 339 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:51,680 Speaker 3: allows the trees to really ground their roots into such 340 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:55,400 Speaker 3: a strong way, and that's what makes them strong and have, 341 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:59,400 Speaker 3: you know, last as long as they do. So I 342 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,880 Speaker 3: think it's about it appreciating the wind. I think even 343 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:04,159 Speaker 3: you know to your question in terms of women, like 344 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:10,440 Speaker 3: appreciate the opposition, appreciate the adversity, and find your power 345 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:11,359 Speaker 3: and strength through that. 346 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:14,280 Speaker 2: The second is you have the power to create your 347 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:15,040 Speaker 2: own stories. 348 00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:20,240 Speaker 3: We are all storytellers by nature, but you know, sometimes 349 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,960 Speaker 3: we're the hero, sometimes we're the victims. Sometimes we're a villain. 350 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,840 Speaker 3: Sometimes it's a love story. So what is your story? 351 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:27,639 Speaker 2: Hear it? 352 00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:30,480 Speaker 3: Understand that you can change it if it's not positive, 353 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:32,600 Speaker 3: Like we said at the beginning of this talk, if 354 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:35,640 Speaker 3: something's not working for you have the power to redirect 355 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,359 Speaker 3: your story at any time, but you have to be 356 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:41,200 Speaker 3: clear about what it is. Desire is a big one 357 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:45,120 Speaker 3: in terms of knowing your power. Without desire, nothing happens. 358 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:47,800 Speaker 3: There's no action that follows that. So make sure that 359 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:50,880 Speaker 3: you feature desire, and desire wanes when you're not really 360 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:52,040 Speaker 3: doing what you were meant to do. 361 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:52,880 Speaker 2: So let's say that. 362 00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:56,240 Speaker 3: You really have a dream job to be an actor, 363 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,800 Speaker 3: but the safer thing is to be an accountant, because 364 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,719 Speaker 3: that's what people told you should do. That's what is 365 00:18:03,119 --> 00:18:05,480 Speaker 3: stable and secure, but it doesn't really make you happy. 366 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,240 Speaker 3: Your desire over time is going to wane, and then 367 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:09,840 Speaker 3: you're not going to really want to do the things 368 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:11,120 Speaker 3: that you want to do. You're not going to feel 369 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:16,280 Speaker 3: very powerful. Another one is the power of no. It's okay, 370 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:20,280 Speaker 3: and it's necessary to create boundaries. Often we think that 371 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,040 Speaker 3: it might seem harsh and that person might be hurt, 372 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:25,680 Speaker 3: but boundaries are really a way of you being clear 373 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,600 Speaker 3: about what you want, being able to express that and 374 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:31,720 Speaker 3: also express what you don't want. It's very necessary, it's 375 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:36,159 Speaker 3: very healthy, and you know, I certainly encourage my children 376 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,200 Speaker 3: to do that at an early age because for most 377 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:39,680 Speaker 3: of us we had to learn it. We weren't raised 378 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:42,560 Speaker 3: in that kind of environment. And the last which we 379 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:45,560 Speaker 3: did touch upon earlier is the power of you and 380 00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:48,560 Speaker 3: really knowing that you can make a difference, knowing that 381 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:52,000 Speaker 3: you can be great, and it doesn't matter how many 382 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:55,520 Speaker 3: times you feel it's part of the process. It's necessary. 383 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,360 Speaker 3: It's more important than the winds, even that you're going 384 00:18:58,440 --> 00:18:58,639 Speaker 3: to have. 385 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,440 Speaker 1: I don't got me TEARI out for some reason. The 386 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,760 Speaker 1: power of you and the power of no those those 387 00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:06,080 Speaker 1: have been two that I have been living by the 388 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:09,240 Speaker 1: last year, and I so agree with that. If we 389 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,440 Speaker 1: are wanting to really, like, if you have that feeling 390 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:13,919 Speaker 1: in your life, if you've reached that point in your 391 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:17,840 Speaker 1: life and you're thinking, I want to make a lasting imprint, 392 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:20,719 Speaker 1: you know, I want to leave something here, what are 393 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,240 Speaker 1: ways that we can tap into that with our power. 394 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:27,440 Speaker 3: Well, the first is the sobering thought you know that 395 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,600 Speaker 3: people it's I think it's a Maya Angelo quote. You know, 396 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:34,919 Speaker 3: people won't necessarily remember what you said, but then remember 397 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:37,479 Speaker 3: how you made them feel. So I really think that 398 00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:41,760 Speaker 3: we don't give enough importance to what you know, love 399 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:45,240 Speaker 3: offered somewhere that it wasn't will do for somebody, and 400 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:48,879 Speaker 3: how that will last even after you're gone, or a 401 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:51,520 Speaker 3: kind word, but it has to be bigger than you. 402 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:55,920 Speaker 3: I think that really for there to be something that's everlasting, 403 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:59,080 Speaker 3: that's immortal, like you want to be immortal, it can't 404 00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:02,080 Speaker 3: just be that we live our lives and it's just 405 00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:05,480 Speaker 3: in the radius like whatever is, you know, just our family, 406 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,359 Speaker 3: my home, wherever I drive to each day. If that 407 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:12,240 Speaker 3: is the entirety of your world, you know your mark 408 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:15,440 Speaker 3: probably won't be as big versus if you go and 409 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,640 Speaker 3: you and you really make you know, everything matters because 410 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:23,560 Speaker 3: it does the real things, not the ego based things. Yeah, well, 411 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:25,439 Speaker 3: we mentioned you were an author at the beginning of 412 00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:28,080 Speaker 3: this podcast. The book is called Fear Is Not An 413 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:31,199 Speaker 3: Option Rethink Love and the Gift of Being Different. Can 414 00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:34,640 Speaker 3: you tell the listeners a little bit about the book. So, 415 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:39,119 Speaker 3: Fear is Not an Option is the title. It's really 416 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,120 Speaker 3: about because the thing is, there's there's In my book, 417 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:46,920 Speaker 3: I identify three different kinds of fear and some are healthy, 418 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:50,440 Speaker 3: some are real, and some are a waste of time. 419 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,400 Speaker 2: Basically, so and I. 420 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,560 Speaker 3: Go through that and really it's not about learning to 421 00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:58,560 Speaker 3: cope with fear or live with fear. It's about eradicating 422 00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:01,120 Speaker 3: fear from your life because fear is an energy and 423 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:04,800 Speaker 3: it's something that needs to be changed and used in 424 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:07,040 Speaker 3: ways that serve you. And there's only one kind of 425 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 3: fear that that is healthy and the rest you really 426 00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:11,800 Speaker 3: can throw out the garden the door. And I give 427 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:15,080 Speaker 3: its semi autobiographical so I talk about my journey through 428 00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:17,080 Speaker 3: fear and how I got on the other side of it, 429 00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:20,359 Speaker 3: and it gives tools and tips and different exercises at 430 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:24,600 Speaker 3: the end. Rethink Love is not just romantic love. It's 431 00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:27,040 Speaker 3: a three part book. The first part is about the 432 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:30,359 Speaker 3: relationship you'll have with yourself. It's the most important, longest 433 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,960 Speaker 3: relationship you'll ever have. It's the one that people usually skip. 434 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:36,320 Speaker 3: They go into the second part, which is, you know, 435 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:39,800 Speaker 3: finding love and navigating through that relationship. But I can't 436 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:44,000 Speaker 3: emphasize enough how important that first part is because it's everything. 437 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:47,240 Speaker 3: It's how you're going to be as a wife, a mother, 438 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:50,199 Speaker 3: a friend, a husband, whatever it is, and then of 439 00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:53,800 Speaker 3: course as a romantic partner. So there's eight chapters devoted 440 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,159 Speaker 3: just to that. And now the third part of that 441 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,760 Speaker 3: book is we and that's how you make sure your 442 00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:01,520 Speaker 3: relationship stands the test of time, but you also still 443 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:04,959 Speaker 3: want to be there. It talks about spiritual sparring, that 444 00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,160 Speaker 3: fighting is very necessary in a relationship. 445 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:08,840 Speaker 2: You just have to pick a fighting style. 446 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:12,840 Speaker 3: It talks about vulnerability and it really breaks down each 447 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:16,679 Speaker 3: topic and again with exercises and then The Gift of 448 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:19,720 Speaker 3: Being Different is a children's book, but adults have really 449 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,920 Speaker 3: actually written to me about how much it's helped them, 450 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:24,480 Speaker 3: because a lot of people have wounds from their childhood 451 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:28,160 Speaker 3: that haven't healed yet. And I co wrote that with 452 00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,000 Speaker 3: one of my children. I have four children, so with 453 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,760 Speaker 3: my youngest. It's the first in a series of ten 454 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:37,480 Speaker 3: books on being and this talks about how your difference 455 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:41,400 Speaker 3: is and in this case, my daughter's difference was dyslexia. 456 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:43,240 Speaker 3: But your difference, no matter what it is, is really 457 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:46,239 Speaker 3: your superpower. So it's not something that you'll grow out of, 458 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,240 Speaker 3: but it's something you need to learn to grow into 459 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:50,840 Speaker 3: and really understand it and appreciate it. 460 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:53,160 Speaker 2: And that's not really obvious. At first. 461 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,320 Speaker 3: We think superpowers are like, oh, that guy is a 462 00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:58,280 Speaker 3: great athlete or that woman's a great you know, we 463 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:02,040 Speaker 3: think it's very obvious and very natural. But most superpowers, 464 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:03,400 Speaker 3: at first we don't know what to do with them. 465 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,200 Speaker 3: You know, if you look at Superman or Spider Man. 466 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,080 Speaker 3: They're clumsy with their powers. 467 00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:09,800 Speaker 2: You know you fall. Yeah, ads are all over the place. 468 00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:11,800 Speaker 3: It's like, what is this? I don't want it? And 469 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:13,880 Speaker 3: that's usually what it is. It's not something you want, 470 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:15,640 Speaker 3: it's not something you know how to use. But once 471 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:18,159 Speaker 3: you understand it and you learn to love yourself and 472 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,560 Speaker 3: appreciate that it's part of what makes you unique, you 473 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:24,320 Speaker 3: can reframe it and you can make it something super powerful. Oo. 474 00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:25,239 Speaker 2: I love that. 475 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:27,399 Speaker 1: I'm going to put all of those links in the 476 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:29,840 Speaker 1: description of this podcast. I also mentioned you are the 477 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:33,120 Speaker 1: co host of the Spiritually Hungry podcast, so I will 478 00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:35,119 Speaker 1: put a link for you guys in the description of 479 00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:37,959 Speaker 1: the podcast as well. Where else can people find you? 480 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:43,920 Speaker 3: Thank you so much. My blog is rethinklife dot today. Yeah, 481 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:47,680 Speaker 3: you can follow me there or on Monica Arberg seventy 482 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:48,920 Speaker 3: four on Instagram. 483 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,320 Speaker 1: Awesome, well you guys. I will put all of those 484 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:53,840 Speaker 1: links in the description of this podcast. Monica, thank you 485 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:55,960 Speaker 1: so much for this. I need to take some notes. 486 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,320 Speaker 1: I'm gonna go back and listen to our own podcast. 487 00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:01,840 Speaker 1: I make notes for myself. Really, I appreciate you being here. 488 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,960 Speaker 1: Thank you again. Thanks for having me. 489 00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:09,159 Speaker 3: Hm