WEBVTT - Minisode: What a Fun Problem 0:00:00.800 --> 0:00:02.640 Hi, guys. It's Chelsea and Catherine here. 0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:06.439 So today, Catherine, we are doing one of our minisodes, 0:00:06.480 --> 0:00:09.119 and so we have one couple calling in for couples counseling. 0:00:09.160 --> 0:00:12.360 Correct exactly, exactly, And for anybody else who wants to 0:00:12.360 --> 0:00:15.520 write in police write in, Yes, for sure, loves great 0:00:15.560 --> 0:00:16.760 advice for couples. 0:00:17.000 --> 0:00:21.360 Yes, yes, I'm just I'm flawless in my advice giving everybody. 0:00:21.400 --> 0:00:23.799 I mean, so far, it's been four years. I well, 0:00:23.920 --> 0:00:25.480 i mean not four years of one hundred. 0:00:26.000 --> 0:00:28.360 You know, I'm sure there's some upset customers, but that's 0:00:28.400 --> 0:00:29.240 par for the course. 0:00:29.320 --> 0:00:29.479 You know. 0:00:30.080 --> 0:00:33.680 It's not like I have a degree. 0:00:32.800 --> 0:00:35.120 Just operating on you know, vibes and good vibes. 0:00:35.200 --> 0:00:38.680 I'm operating on good fucking vibes, okay, exactly, So that's 0:00:38.680 --> 0:00:39.440 what you're gonna get. 0:00:39.800 --> 0:00:42.760 We were just talking about menopause because so Naomi Watts 0:00:42.800 --> 0:00:45.080 wrote this book about menopause, because she's been like the 0:00:45.200 --> 0:00:47.680 leading face of menopause in the last couple of years. 0:00:47.680 --> 0:00:50.320 I don't know if you've noticed, but she's been outspoken, 0:00:50.360 --> 0:00:53.239 and she started this beauty company called Stripes. She just 0:00:53.240 --> 0:00:55.560 gave me a ton of lube and all this stuff. 0:00:55.600 --> 0:00:57.880 You can shove up different areas of your body, and 0:00:58.520 --> 0:01:01.720 also facial moisturizer because your skin changes during menopause. 0:01:01.720 --> 0:01:04.280 Anyway, she asked me to, you know, for a blurb 0:01:04.319 --> 0:01:04.759 for the book. 0:01:04.880 --> 0:01:06.760 So she sent the book and as I was reading 0:01:06.760 --> 0:01:09.640 the book, I got all of the symptoms of menopause. 0:01:09.720 --> 0:01:12.560 I was like, I started having hot flashes. I was like, 0:01:12.640 --> 0:01:13.319 oh my god. 0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:15.640 And then I was like, oh my god, am I 0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:17.240 is it real or it's like a somatic. 0:01:17.440 --> 0:01:18.680 Well that's what I said. 0:01:18.720 --> 0:01:20.480 I was in my work at the time, and I 0:01:20.480 --> 0:01:22.679 had a man in my bed and I was like 0:01:22.720 --> 0:01:24.560 every night, like get the fuck away from me, like 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:27.199 even more so than usual. And I was like, don't 0:01:27.200 --> 0:01:29.440 touch me. You know, I was so hot hot flashes. 0:01:29.760 --> 0:01:32.399 And my sister goes, you're so impressed. She goes, you 0:01:32.480 --> 0:01:34.920 were just read about something and then it happens to you. 0:01:35.360 --> 0:01:37.480 She's like you and I'm like, no, obviously, I am 0:01:37.520 --> 0:01:38.440 going through peri menopause. 0:01:38.480 --> 0:01:40.360 I'm forty nine years old. I mean it would make sense. 0:01:40.760 --> 0:01:43.120 So then I come home and I get these pills 0:01:43.680 --> 0:01:46.680 called Bonafide for anybody out there with hot flashes. As 0:01:46.720 --> 0:01:48.760 soon as I started taking them, my hot flash has ceased. 0:01:48.920 --> 0:01:50.600 So I had hot flashes for like a week. Okay, 0:01:50.880 --> 0:01:52.600 but and I've had a hot flash before, but not 0:01:52.720 --> 0:01:55.600 like consistently every night. So I was convinced. I'm like, oh, 0:01:55.720 --> 0:01:57.120 I'm going with through perim my menopause. I have to 0:01:57.120 --> 0:01:59.720 get my hormones checked. And so I take these bona 0:01:59.760 --> 0:02:01.720 fide works. I tell my sisters. I send them both 0:02:01.760 --> 0:02:03.720 a picture. I'm like, you, guys, if you have hot flashes, 0:02:04.240 --> 0:02:07.000 and my sister's like, I'm fifty nine, so I'm not 0:02:07.040 --> 0:02:10.040 having hot flashes, you idiot. And my other sister, My 0:02:10.120 --> 0:02:12.200 other sister goes, I can't. She goes, that work for you. 0:02:12.360 --> 0:02:14.560 She goes, I tried that product for six months. It 0:02:14.600 --> 0:02:16.960 did not work for me, just like you were suggested, 0:02:17.440 --> 0:02:19.320 Just like you read about menopause and then decided you 0:02:19.360 --> 0:02:22.120 had it. Now it's being cured by something that doesn't work. 0:02:22.160 --> 0:02:25.440 And I was like, ah, I disagree. Anyway. She's like, 0:02:25.480 --> 0:02:28.400 it's so funny that you're actually very impressionable, like you're 0:02:28.480 --> 0:02:30.679 kind of malleable, like you just sway. That's why I 0:02:30.680 --> 0:02:33.079 would be a terrible juror, because I my opinion changes 0:02:33.120 --> 0:02:36.760 so quickly based on like moment people's looks. 0:02:37.000 --> 0:02:38.600 If they have a dimple anyway. 0:02:39.200 --> 0:02:41.400 So the moral of the story is I was out 0:02:41.400 --> 0:02:43.560 with Naomi and a couple of other girlfriends the other 0:02:43.680 --> 0:02:46.919 night and she loaded me up with products because your 0:02:46.919 --> 0:02:48.960 skin can get dry during prairie menopause. 0:02:49.280 --> 0:02:49.440 Oh. 0:02:49.639 --> 0:02:51.359 The company is called Stripes, and we're going to do 0:02:51.400 --> 0:02:53.200 it an episode with Naomia and we're gonna have her 0:02:53.240 --> 0:02:55.560 come on and do a menopause episode because that's very important. 0:02:55.639 --> 0:02:56.760 We've got a lot of requests for that. 0:02:56.760 --> 0:02:59.280 Actually, Oh really, Oh perfect, okay, so let's do that. 0:02:59.400 --> 0:03:03.600 Yeah, and if you have menopause based questions, questions about perimenopause, 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:06.840 write them in this weekend because I'll start going through those. 0:03:06.840 --> 0:03:09.079 We're going to record that episode with her really really soon. 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:11.280 So then I get my hormones checked and my doctor 0:03:11.360 --> 0:03:12.800 called me and I don't I have an ablasion. 0:03:12.880 --> 0:03:14.040 So I don't get my period. 0:03:14.280 --> 0:03:16.280 And my doctor just called me this morning and she says, 0:03:16.320 --> 0:03:20.080 my estrogen levels there's a height where your FHC or 0:03:20.080 --> 0:03:23.040 something fh something, fhs. 0:03:22.639 --> 0:03:24.040 Hs something like that. 0:03:24.400 --> 0:03:27.080 Sh whatever direction it's supposed to go in when you age, 0:03:27.120 --> 0:03:28.720 mind has gone in the opposite direction. 0:03:28.800 --> 0:03:31.560 Okay, right, Because you were like fertile myrtle before. 0:03:31.280 --> 0:03:35.440 You got what she's saying, I'm fertile still, and I 0:03:35.480 --> 0:03:37.640 was like, wait a second, And I was like, this 0:03:37.720 --> 0:03:40.360 is so funny. My cousin goes every time you go 0:03:40.400 --> 0:03:42.520 to the doctor, they tell you like, your liver looks 0:03:42.560 --> 0:03:45.000 incredible or your heart is the size of a twenty 0:03:45.000 --> 0:03:47.760 five year old. She's like, how is that possible with 0:03:47.880 --> 0:03:49.640 as much shit you do? And I'm like, but I 0:03:49.640 --> 0:03:50.720 also keep my shit together. 0:03:50.840 --> 0:03:51.280 That's right. 0:03:51.360 --> 0:03:54.480 You work a very actually healthy balanced if you think 0:03:54.480 --> 0:03:57.040 about it exact, and it's now being confirmed by the 0:03:57.080 --> 0:03:57.960 medical community. 0:03:58.160 --> 0:04:00.120 So just start doing tons of drugs in your twenty 0:04:00.360 --> 0:04:01.000 or maybe before. 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:02.680 No, I don't want to advocate that you have to 0:04:02.720 --> 0:04:05.160 have the right personality for drug Okay, I have it. 0:04:05.440 --> 0:04:06.720 Yeah, they're not for everyone. 0:04:06.800 --> 0:04:09.160 You have to know if you are the right personality type, 0:04:09.160 --> 0:04:11.640 and if you are, you'll know, so you know if 0:04:11.640 --> 0:04:12.640 you're asking, you're not. 0:04:13.680 --> 0:04:16.400 Yeah, you know. I'm very low tolerance when it comes 0:04:16.440 --> 0:04:17.039 to any drugs. 0:04:17.120 --> 0:04:19.640 I'm like, I have found like just whatever is like 0:04:19.680 --> 0:04:21.680 an eighth of a dose for someone else that's making 0:04:21.680 --> 0:04:23.400 them feel great, Like that's what's going to make me 0:04:23.400 --> 0:04:24.479 feel fine or not? 0:04:24.520 --> 0:04:25.720 Stressed about it at least. 0:04:25.960 --> 0:04:28.240 Yeah, right, you can't handle drugs. No, I have no 0:04:28.279 --> 0:04:30.479 happy drugs. I said to my doctor. I said, so 0:04:30.839 --> 0:04:33.080 can I still get pregnant? And she goes, You're definitely 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:35.880 still ovulating. She goes, but Chelsea, you had an ablation. 0:04:40.320 --> 0:04:43.039 I thought you could still have a baby after an Ablazian. 0:04:43.240 --> 0:04:46.359 I mean, who knows, well, I do have a follow 0:04:46.400 --> 0:04:48.600 up from a previous Is it a happy ending? 0:04:48.760 --> 0:04:49.400 It actually is. 0:04:49.680 --> 0:04:51.279 I mean, what if some people were just trying to 0:04:51.279 --> 0:04:52.599 sue us for our bad advice? 0:04:52.760 --> 0:04:53.600 Please don't sue us. 0:04:53.960 --> 0:04:56.760 So this comes from Kelly. She wrote in on our 0:04:56.760 --> 0:04:59.320 Paul W. Down's episode about her fear of flying. If 0:04:59.320 --> 0:05:01.480 you remember her, and she. 0:05:01.960 --> 0:05:04.640 Said, what it was the advice that I gave her. 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:06.919 I think a lot of pills and just go do 0:05:07.040 --> 0:05:09.160 it basically was the advice. 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:13.560 But Kelly says, Dear Chelsea quick followup message on my 0:05:13.680 --> 0:05:17.719 chat with you and Paul W. Downs Dear Chelsea, shortly 0:05:17.800 --> 0:05:20.880 after the chat about my flight anxiety with you, Catherine 0:05:20.920 --> 0:05:23.080 and Paul Downs, I'm a huge fan. By the way, 0:05:23.360 --> 0:05:26.120 I faced my fears and booked a flight. I got 0:05:26.160 --> 0:05:28.799 back from my first trip to New York City last week, 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:31.840 and it was so much fun. With support from you, 0:05:32.080 --> 0:05:35.679 my therapist, my partner, and Atavan, I faced my fear 0:05:35.720 --> 0:05:38.320 with a calm and confident smile on my face. I 0:05:38.320 --> 0:05:41.760 always imagined i'd be in tears. I arrived so well 0:05:41.760 --> 0:05:43.840 prepared that I didn't even need to use most of 0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:45.600 the coping mechanisms i'd prepared. 0:05:45.880 --> 0:05:46.520 Ah. 0:05:46.520 --> 0:05:49.760 Hello, this is amazing, it's working. I can't wait to 0:05:49.880 --> 0:05:50.560 talk about this. 0:05:52.160 --> 0:05:54.440 I feel invincible now I look at travel in a 0:05:54.440 --> 0:05:56.800 different light. This feels like a huge weight lifted off 0:05:56.800 --> 0:05:59.719 my shoulders. Thank you for encouraging me and all listeners 0:05:59.720 --> 0:06:03.400 to be old and brave. It's much appreciated. Sending love 0:06:03.480 --> 0:06:05.360 to you and strength to all who want to face 0:06:05.400 --> 0:06:08.800 a fear. You got this PS. Speaking with you three 0:06:08.839 --> 0:06:11.719 was such a unique and memorable experience. As a bonus, 0:06:11.760 --> 0:06:14.159 I now have an actual fun fact for those classic 0:06:14.160 --> 0:06:15.640 group icebreager activities. 0:06:15.800 --> 0:06:19.040 Take good care, Kelly, that is so Cute's that great? 0:06:19.160 --> 0:06:19.360 Yeah? 0:06:19.440 --> 0:06:21.520 Because this is really I want to talk about this 0:06:21.560 --> 0:06:24.840 a little bit. When you and I don't mean hollow optimism. 0:06:24.839 --> 0:06:27.400 When I'm trying to talk about positivity and being positive, 0:06:27.440 --> 0:06:30.160 I don't mean like being empty positive like. 0:06:30.120 --> 0:06:32.080 That it's all gonna be toxic positivity. 0:06:32.120 --> 0:06:32.919 No, not toxic. 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:36.000 That's different, okay, Okay, well no, maybe it's similar, but 0:06:36.160 --> 0:06:36.560 like you know. 0:06:36.600 --> 0:06:37.520 It's all gonna be okay. 0:06:37.640 --> 0:06:39.640 It's like no, no, my mother just died. It's not 0:06:39.680 --> 0:06:43.280 gonna be okay right away. I don't mean hollow optimism. 0:06:43.400 --> 0:06:44.479 I mean when you. 0:06:44.400 --> 0:06:48.200 Choose to look at whatever situation is in front of 0:06:48.240 --> 0:06:53.279 you and you actually mentally reason with yourself that it's 0:06:53.440 --> 0:06:59.240 okay to be optimistic and purposeful and intentionally optimistic, you know, 0:06:59.320 --> 0:07:01.960 with your back up straight and holding your head up high. 0:07:02.400 --> 0:07:06.400 If you can approach things in that way, the obstacles 0:07:06.520 --> 0:07:09.320 become fewer and fewer if you have that attitude like 0:07:09.360 --> 0:07:11.480 she's talking about, she didn't even need all of the 0:07:11.520 --> 0:07:13.680 things that she thought she was gonna need because she 0:07:13.720 --> 0:07:16.520 had actually worked her way through the problem and was 0:07:16.560 --> 0:07:20.160 ready to face her fears in a powerful, confident. 0:07:19.680 --> 0:07:22.480 Way, not like I'm gonna go fuck you do this right, 0:07:22.560 --> 0:07:23.200 in a way. 0:07:23.040 --> 0:07:26.000 That I'm capable, I'm strong, and I'm gonna get through this, 0:07:26.320 --> 0:07:28.120 and then you do even better than you thought you 0:07:28.160 --> 0:07:28.680 were gonna do. 0:07:28.760 --> 0:07:32.040 Mmmmmmm, this is making me feel like so I faced 0:07:32.120 --> 0:07:34.760 a fear of heights while we were on our Italy 0:07:34.840 --> 0:07:37.800 vacation and it did not go well, and part of 0:07:37.840 --> 0:07:39.320 me was like, well, great, I never have to do 0:07:39.400 --> 0:07:40.000 heights again. 0:07:40.080 --> 0:07:41.000 And then it happened. 0:07:41.920 --> 0:07:45.200 We went to the top of the Duomo in Florence, 0:07:45.360 --> 0:07:48.680 which was highly recommended and also totally terrifying for a 0:07:48.720 --> 0:07:50.200 person with a fear of heights. 0:07:50.800 --> 0:07:52.760 So it was a little bit traumatics. 0:07:52.760 --> 0:07:54.200 You start to get scared on the way up. 0:07:54.640 --> 0:07:57.120 So on the way up it's just like this little 0:07:57.200 --> 0:08:01.080 staircase that's all enclosed, which was fine, and then you 0:08:01.200 --> 0:08:03.800 get up into the inner circle of the dome and 0:08:03.840 --> 0:08:07.280 you're looking down inside, and that for me was kind 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:10.240 of the worst part because it was so narrow and 0:08:10.280 --> 0:08:12.640 like people were stopping, so I couldn't just like rush 0:08:12.680 --> 0:08:14.880 ahead and get through, and so I was sort of 0:08:14.920 --> 0:08:17.480 like trapped up there, and so that was sort of 0:08:17.560 --> 0:08:18.080 the worst part. 0:08:18.120 --> 0:08:19.640 And then you get to the roof and you have 0:08:19.640 --> 0:08:20.480 this beautiful view. 0:08:21.200 --> 0:08:23.040 Is the roof separate from the top of the. 0:08:23.000 --> 0:08:25.440 Door, Yeah, you like keep going and then you're outside 0:08:25.440 --> 0:08:27.960 looking at the like the view of the city, and 0:08:28.120 --> 0:08:30.600 so I thought like, oh, I can brave my fears. 0:08:30.680 --> 0:08:33.800 But part of me also feels like maybe now I 0:08:33.840 --> 0:08:36.200 actually do need to conquer this fear of heights that 0:08:36.240 --> 0:08:38.200 I didn't used to have. But I think once my 0:08:38.559 --> 0:08:41.200 frontal lobe was fully formed, I became I mean. 0:08:41.080 --> 0:08:45.360 It's kind of pretty natural to be scared of heights, right, Like, 0:08:45.720 --> 0:08:48.040 it doesn't feel good when you look over the edge 0:08:48.040 --> 0:08:51.880 of a skyscraper. That's not a fun, happy feeling, and 0:08:52.120 --> 0:08:54.920 nobody feels like, oh, you know, so I think it's 0:08:54.960 --> 0:08:57.880 pretty common to be fearful, as long as your fear 0:08:57.880 --> 0:08:59.120 doesn't become paralytic. 0:08:59.520 --> 0:09:01.640 Yeah, well that's the thing is. I was like, I 0:09:01.679 --> 0:09:04.400 never have to do anything heights again. I never have 0:09:04.440 --> 0:09:06.080 to do it again. But then I was like, you 0:09:06.080 --> 0:09:07.839 know what, I feel like this means that I need 0:09:07.880 --> 0:09:10.520 to conquer it. And by concrete and conquering it, the 0:09:10.520 --> 0:09:13.120 only thing you can do is exposure therapy. So I'm like, 0:09:13.160 --> 0:09:14.560 now I think I feel like I need to do 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:15.600 a lot of things like this. 0:09:16.440 --> 0:09:17.720 Yeah, like bungee jumping. 0:09:17.840 --> 0:09:19.560 No, no, I do it. I don't think you have 0:09:19.600 --> 0:09:20.360 to go bungee jump. 0:09:20.360 --> 0:09:21.800 Okay, all right, I'm off the hook from you. 0:09:21.880 --> 0:09:24.640 Then, Yeah, I just there's some fears need that's not 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:28.240 a natural it's it is natural to be scared of 0:09:28.480 --> 0:09:30.199 fucking falling off of a building. 0:09:31.200 --> 0:09:33.800 I think so all right, thank you, Chelsea. I feel 0:09:33.880 --> 0:09:34.840 very validated, welcome. 0:09:34.880 --> 0:09:37.920 You don't even have to call in, I know, well, 0:09:37.960 --> 0:09:40.079 we do have a caller, actually have two callers. 0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:41.760 Okay, great, is it just us? 0:09:41.960 --> 0:09:43.000 It's just us today. 0:09:43.080 --> 0:09:45.040 It's a mini so oh okay, perfect. 0:09:46.400 --> 0:09:47.679 I love when I find out about it at the 0:09:47.679 --> 0:09:48.959 show after we start taping. 0:09:49.040 --> 0:09:51.319 Yeah, exactly, this is what we do. It's always a surprise. 0:09:51.520 --> 0:09:53.199 I know my life is a surprise. 0:09:58.120 --> 0:10:01.640 So Letty and Jess say hi, Chelsea and Catherine. My 0:10:01.760 --> 0:10:04.200 partner and I were listening to your podcasts during our 0:10:04.280 --> 0:10:06.800 drive home from Yosemite, and I had to reach out 0:10:06.840 --> 0:10:09.600 about our current issue. We were wondering if you could 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:12.640 support us with a couple's therapy session. And by the way, 0:10:12.679 --> 0:10:14.640 for any other couples that want to write in, we 0:10:14.760 --> 0:10:15.560 absolutely can. 0:10:15.679 --> 0:10:16.920 I love couple sessions. 0:10:17.040 --> 0:10:18.760 Yeah, so yeah, if you have a problem with your 0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:23.000 friend or boyfriend or girlfriend or non binary friend, you 0:10:23.040 --> 0:10:23.640 can call in. 0:10:24.080 --> 0:10:24.360 Great. 0:10:25.160 --> 0:10:27.960 I'm a thirty four year old marriage and family therapist, 0:10:28.160 --> 0:10:30.720 one that clearly doesn't always take the advice I give 0:10:31.240 --> 0:10:34.280 my partner Letty is currently in school to become a nurse. 0:10:34.920 --> 0:10:38.640 The issue we're facing right now is Letty loves spending 0:10:38.679 --> 0:10:42.880 time with my mom. They are practically best friends. Don't 0:10:42.880 --> 0:10:44.680 get me wrong. I know it's a good thing. 0:10:44.760 --> 0:10:47.600 But like most lesbians, I've got mommy issues and so 0:10:47.679 --> 0:10:50.880 does she. Quite frankly, my mom now communicates with me 0:10:51.120 --> 0:10:53.560 through her comes over to our home when I'm not 0:10:53.679 --> 0:10:57.160 there to see Letty and quote unquote accidentally crops me 0:10:57.200 --> 0:10:59.160 out of photos when she zooms in on the two 0:10:59.240 --> 0:11:02.160 of them. I know I have to get over it 0:11:02.200 --> 0:11:04.320 at some point, but right now it's just the current 0:11:04.400 --> 0:11:05.640 thorn in our relationship. 0:11:05.880 --> 0:11:07.400 Jess, Oh my. 0:11:07.400 --> 0:11:11.400 God, Hi Jess, Hi girls, Hi, Hi, Hey, how are you? 0:11:11.840 --> 0:11:14.760 Oh my god? That's so funny. What a fun problem. 0:11:16.440 --> 0:11:18.720 I mean, it's a good problem to have, especially with 0:11:19.440 --> 0:11:21.679 you know, the world we're in these days. 0:11:22.280 --> 0:11:24.320 That's right, That's exactly right. 0:11:24.600 --> 0:11:28.120 Yes, that's exactly how you should be looking at this situation. Yeah, 0:11:28.120 --> 0:11:32.319 but the zooming, the cropping out of the phook every time. 0:11:32.600 --> 0:11:35.440 Every time I go on Facebook and it's like, oh 0:11:35.480 --> 0:11:37.600 my mom tagged me, and I go on and there's 0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:40.560 like this part of my ear and then the rest 0:11:40.600 --> 0:11:42.520 of my family with Letsie and my mom. 0:11:42.679 --> 0:11:46.600 Like zoomed in, So, Letty, do you love your relationship 0:11:46.640 --> 0:11:47.199 with her mom? 0:11:47.880 --> 0:11:49.000 Obsessed you are? 0:11:49.440 --> 0:11:51.480 Yeah, I really am so obsessed. 0:11:51.480 --> 0:11:53.400 And what's your relationship like with your own mom? 0:11:53.920 --> 0:11:58.480 So, my relationship with my mom, we were always incredibly close. 0:11:58.559 --> 0:12:03.560 I lost her unfortunately, So now I feel like that's 0:12:03.600 --> 0:12:06.080 a big reason why I like attach myself so much 0:12:06.120 --> 0:12:09.720 to Jesse's mom, because they are super They're very much alike. 0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:12.400 Yeah, this is like a Disney movie, you guys. 0:12:12.760 --> 0:12:15.840 Everything that's happening here is a Disney movie. 0:12:16.160 --> 0:12:18.240 I mean, I'm wearing a macking mouth shirt and I 0:12:18.280 --> 0:12:19.559 don't mind making mouth nose. 0:12:19.600 --> 0:12:23.040 Okay, Well, then I mean it works. I mean it 0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:24.920 does it really bother you? 0:12:24.960 --> 0:12:25.200 No? 0:12:25.520 --> 0:12:26.960 I mean it's a good problem to have. 0:12:27.080 --> 0:12:29.400 I think for a really long time coming out, it 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:33.680 was like touch and go with how accept that I 0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:36.679 really felt. And then when I met LETTI I was like, oh, 0:12:36.920 --> 0:12:41.080 she really loves her. It's a great problem to have. 0:12:41.320 --> 0:12:44.840 There needs to be some boundaries, probably, but you know, 0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:46.520 maybe I'm a little jealous. 0:12:46.600 --> 0:12:46.960 Probably. 0:12:47.080 --> 0:12:49.280 Well, no, I think it could be like a little 0:12:49.320 --> 0:12:50.040 bit of a boundary. 0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:51.640 But have you spoken to your mom about this in 0:12:51.640 --> 0:12:53.079 a serious way at all or no. 0:12:53.240 --> 0:12:54.360 Not in a serious way. 0:12:54.400 --> 0:12:56.400 I think I poked fun at it because that's my 0:12:56.520 --> 0:12:57.439 way of coping. 0:12:57.600 --> 0:12:59.600 Yeah, but I probably should say something. 0:13:00.120 --> 0:13:02.520 I mean, I think this is you saying something. 0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:05.520 So I think we're just we're just gonna I think 0:13:05.559 --> 0:13:08.120 there should be a light boundary. But obviously these are 0:13:08.160 --> 0:13:11.840 all great problems to have. Your mother is accepting and loving. 0:13:11.960 --> 0:13:15.400 She doesn't have her mother anymore. Like everyone's for lack 0:13:15.440 --> 0:13:18.360 of a better term, everyone's whole is being filled, right. 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:21.319 I mean, I'm as long as that's happening, that's a 0:13:21.400 --> 0:13:22.000 good problem. 0:13:22.040 --> 0:13:23.680 I was gonna say cup, and then I just went 0:13:23.720 --> 0:13:25.600 straight to hole and I figured, why not just run 0:13:25.640 --> 0:13:28.480 with that? You know, No, but I think that you guys, 0:13:28.840 --> 0:13:32.520 let Tea and Jess's mom, you should be a little 0:13:32.600 --> 0:13:34.520 bit more compassionate. 0:13:33.960 --> 0:13:36.480 Or inclusive, maybe a inclusive. 0:13:36.640 --> 0:13:38.960 It's great that you want to spend time together, but yes, 0:13:39.240 --> 0:13:42.480 don't forget about the person that you're the reason you're 0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:43.720 both here, like meeting. 0:13:43.760 --> 0:13:46.560 You're right, You're right, And I will also mention that 0:13:46.679 --> 0:13:49.679 like Jesse's mom's best friend is also my. 0:13:49.720 --> 0:13:53.000 Best friend, so it extends beyond just. 0:13:53.000 --> 0:13:55.480 My relationship with her mom too, And you're right, well, 0:13:55.559 --> 0:13:57.480 you should be a little bit more inclusive. 0:13:57.080 --> 0:13:58.080 Girls, Just inclusive. 0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:00.640 Just be considerate of the fact that she feels a 0:14:00.640 --> 0:14:04.680 little like it's an odd situation and it's it's beautiful, 0:14:04.800 --> 0:14:07.360 but you know, just be a little considerate of her 0:14:07.360 --> 0:14:10.800 feelings and make sure and especially the zooming in the 0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:13.560 out of the pictures. I think you should just be like, listen, bitch, 0:14:14.120 --> 0:14:17.400 I'm your fucking daughter. Okay, when you zoom out from 0:14:17.400 --> 0:14:20.480 my photo to include hers, what kind of signal do 0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:21.880 you think that sends to my brain? 0:14:22.960 --> 0:14:25.400 Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, And she claims with 0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:27.000 a mistake, which it might have been. 0:14:27.440 --> 0:14:29.680 Yeah, And I guess her priority is on you though, 0:14:29.720 --> 0:14:31.760 because she's like trying to get that photo of you. 0:14:32.520 --> 0:14:35.880 This is a honeymoon period that you're experiencing. Don't expect 0:14:35.880 --> 0:14:38.840 it to last forever, so you know, treat it like 0:14:38.840 --> 0:14:42.280 a relationship that needs some sort of boundary, because you know, totally. 0:14:42.480 --> 0:14:42.800 Yeah. 0:14:42.840 --> 0:14:46.000 I do think it's funny when parents who maybe are 0:14:46.040 --> 0:14:48.440 not as accepting in the beginning of having a kid 0:14:48.480 --> 0:14:51.160 that's come out, it's like down the road, a lot 0:14:51.200 --> 0:14:54.760 of them realize when their kid brings home someone wonderful, 0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:57.520 They're like, oh wait, this is what this actually looks like, 0:14:57.520 --> 0:15:00.120 like a loving, fun relationship with a new great or 0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:01.760 someone I get to know, and then they get totally 0:15:01.760 --> 0:15:02.240 on board. 0:15:03.000 --> 0:15:04.800 Yeah. I think that's how it was for me. 0:15:04.880 --> 0:15:07.800 I brought a couple ex's home in my lifetime and 0:15:07.840 --> 0:15:09.960 it just never landed. And I thought it was more 0:15:09.960 --> 0:15:12.880 about her acceptance of me until she met Latti and 0:15:12.880 --> 0:15:13.800 then it all changed. 0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:16.360 How did you two meet through friends? 0:15:16.560 --> 0:15:19.160 I lived in San Francisco for like five years and 0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:22.320 we just met through mutual friends and then I brought 0:15:22.320 --> 0:15:23.000 her down here. 0:15:23.880 --> 0:15:25.080 Yeah, that's great. 0:15:25.360 --> 0:15:27.280 Gay people are always asking me how to meet people, 0:15:27.320 --> 0:15:29.400 So I'm just always trying to think of new ideas. 0:15:29.400 --> 0:15:31.800 But luckily, I mean, you guys don't seem to have one. 0:15:32.400 --> 0:15:34.640 San Francisco's not the most original. 0:15:34.280 --> 0:15:36.760 There was going to be, But no, it's meeting friends who. 0:15:36.840 --> 0:15:39.440 Up there though there's not that many one thousand oaks, 0:15:39.520 --> 0:15:41.280 so I had to get away for a while. 0:15:41.520 --> 0:15:42.880 Yeah, exactly, that's what. 0:15:42.960 --> 0:15:44.800 We had a collar call in last week and she 0:15:44.880 --> 0:15:47.240 was saying the same thing. She lives in this kind 0:15:47.280 --> 0:15:49.760 of small mountain town and she just realized she's out. 0:15:49.880 --> 0:15:51.880 She wants to be gay, and she wants to live 0:15:51.920 --> 0:15:53.200 her life, and she's like, I'm not in the right 0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:55.960 place to meet enough people and have fun. And she's 0:15:56.040 --> 0:15:59.120 in her twenties. So I get it. I get moving, 0:15:59.120 --> 0:16:01.080 and good for you for doing that. You know, sometimes 0:16:01.120 --> 0:16:02.600 you do have to relocate to find. 0:16:02.440 --> 0:16:05.400 What you're looking for. Yeah, you went fishing and then 0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:06.120 you came back. 0:16:06.640 --> 0:16:09.640 I sure did in the Bay one. 0:16:09.480 --> 0:16:11.600 And now you and now your mother is feasting on 0:16:11.640 --> 0:16:15.440 your fish. 0:16:15.960 --> 0:16:19.400 I'm not out. Okay, thanks girls for calling in. You 0:16:19.400 --> 0:16:20.680 girls are adorable. I love it. 0:16:20.800 --> 0:16:23.520 Thank you. Bye bye. 0:16:25.200 --> 0:16:27.360