1
00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:02,640
Speaker 1: Hi, guys. It's Chelsea and Catherine here.

2
00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:06,439
Speaker 2: So today, Catherine, we are doing one of our minisodes,

3
00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:09,119
Speaker 2: and so we have one couple calling in for couples counseling.

4
00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:12,360
Speaker 3: Correct exactly, exactly, And for anybody else who wants to

5
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:15,520
Speaker 3: write in police write in, Yes, for sure, loves great

6
00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:16,760
Speaker 3: advice for couples.

7
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:21,360
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, I'm just I'm flawless in my advice giving everybody.

8
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:23,799
Speaker 1: I mean, so far, it's been four years. I well,

9
00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:25,480
Speaker 1: i mean not four years of one hundred.

10
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,360
Speaker 2: You know, I'm sure there's some upset customers, but that's

11
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:29,240
Speaker 2: par for the course.

12
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:29,479
Speaker 4: You know.

13
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:33,680
Speaker 1: It's not like I have a degree.

14
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,120
Speaker 5: Just operating on you know, vibes and good vibes.

15
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:38,680
Speaker 1: I'm operating on good fucking vibes, okay, exactly, So that's

16
00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:39,440
Speaker 1: what you're gonna get.

17
00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:42,760
Speaker 2: We were just talking about menopause because so Naomi Watts

18
00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,080
Speaker 2: wrote this book about menopause, because she's been like the

19
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,680
Speaker 2: leading face of menopause in the last couple of years.

20
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:50,320
Speaker 2: I don't know if you've noticed, but she's been outspoken,

21
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:53,239
Speaker 2: and she started this beauty company called Stripes. She just

22
00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:55,560
Speaker 2: gave me a ton of lube and all this stuff.

23
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:57,880
Speaker 2: You can shove up different areas of your body, and

24
00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,720
Speaker 2: also facial moisturizer because your skin changes during menopause.

25
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:04,280
Speaker 1: Anyway, she asked me to, you know, for a blurb

26
00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:04,759
Speaker 1: for the book.

27
00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:06,760
Speaker 2: So she sent the book and as I was reading

28
00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:09,640
Speaker 2: the book, I got all of the symptoms of menopause.

29
00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:12,560
Speaker 2: I was like, I started having hot flashes. I was like,

30
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:13,319
Speaker 2: oh my god.

31
00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:15,640
Speaker 5: And then I was like, oh my god, am I

32
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:17,240
Speaker 5: is it real or it's like a somatic.

33
00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:18,680
Speaker 1: Well that's what I said.

34
00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:20,480
Speaker 2: I was in my work at the time, and I

35
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,679
Speaker 2: had a man in my bed and I was like

36
00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:24,560
Speaker 2: every night, like get the fuck away from me, like

37
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:27,199
Speaker 2: even more so than usual. And I was like, don't

38
00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,440
Speaker 2: touch me. You know, I was so hot hot flashes.

39
00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:32,399
Speaker 2: And my sister goes, you're so impressed. She goes, you

40
00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:34,920
Speaker 2: were just read about something and then it happens to you.

41
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,480
Speaker 2: She's like you and I'm like, no, obviously, I am

42
00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:38,440
Speaker 2: going through peri menopause.

43
00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:40,360
Speaker 1: I'm forty nine years old. I mean it would make sense.

44
00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:43,120
Speaker 2: So then I come home and I get these pills

45
00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:46,680
Speaker 2: called Bonafide for anybody out there with hot flashes. As

46
00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,760
Speaker 2: soon as I started taking them, my hot flash has ceased.

47
00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:50,600
Speaker 2: So I had hot flashes for like a week. Okay,

48
00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:52,600
Speaker 2: but and I've had a hot flash before, but not

49
00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:55,600
Speaker 2: like consistently every night. So I was convinced. I'm like, oh,

50
00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:57,120
Speaker 2: I'm going with through perim my menopause. I have to

51
00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:59,720
Speaker 2: get my hormones checked. And so I take these bona

52
00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:01,720
Speaker 2: fide works. I tell my sisters. I send them both

53
00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:03,720
Speaker 2: a picture. I'm like, you, guys, if you have hot flashes,

54
00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:07,000
Speaker 2: and my sister's like, I'm fifty nine, so I'm not

55
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:10,040
Speaker 2: having hot flashes, you idiot. And my other sister, My

56
00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,200
Speaker 2: other sister goes, I can't. She goes, that work for you.

57
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,560
Speaker 2: She goes, I tried that product for six months. It

58
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,960
Speaker 2: did not work for me, just like you were suggested,

59
00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:19,320
Speaker 2: Just like you read about menopause and then decided you

60
00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:22,120
Speaker 2: had it. Now it's being cured by something that doesn't work.

61
00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:25,440
Speaker 2: And I was like, ah, I disagree. Anyway. She's like,

62
00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:28,400
Speaker 2: it's so funny that you're actually very impressionable, like you're

63
00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:30,679
Speaker 2: kind of malleable, like you just sway. That's why I

64
00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:33,079
Speaker 2: would be a terrible juror, because I my opinion changes

65
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:36,760
Speaker 2: so quickly based on like moment people's looks.

66
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,600
Speaker 1: If they have a dimple anyway.

67
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,400
Speaker 2: So the moral of the story is I was out

68
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:43,560
Speaker 2: with Naomi and a couple of other girlfriends the other

69
00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:46,919
Speaker 2: night and she loaded me up with products because your

70
00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:48,960
Speaker 2: skin can get dry during prairie menopause.

71
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:49,440
Speaker 4: Oh.

72
00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:51,359
Speaker 2: The company is called Stripes, and we're going to do

73
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,200
Speaker 2: it an episode with Naomia and we're gonna have her

74
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,560
Speaker 2: come on and do a menopause episode because that's very important.

75
00:02:55,639 --> 00:02:56,760
Speaker 5: We've got a lot of requests for that.

76
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,280
Speaker 1: Actually, Oh really, Oh perfect, okay, so let's do that.

77
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:03,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, and if you have menopause based questions, questions about perimenopause,

78
00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:06,840
Speaker 3: write them in this weekend because I'll start going through those.

79
00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:09,079
Speaker 3: We're going to record that episode with her really really soon.

80
00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:11,280
Speaker 2: So then I get my hormones checked and my doctor

81
00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:12,800
Speaker 2: called me and I don't I have an ablasion.

82
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,040
Speaker 1: So I don't get my period.

83
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:16,280
Speaker 2: And my doctor just called me this morning and she says,

84
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:20,080
Speaker 2: my estrogen levels there's a height where your FHC or

85
00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:23,040
Speaker 2: something fh something, fhs.

86
00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:24,040
Speaker 1: Hs something like that.

87
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,080
Speaker 2: Sh whatever direction it's supposed to go in when you age,

88
00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:28,720
Speaker 2: mind has gone in the opposite direction.

89
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,560
Speaker 5: Okay, right, Because you were like fertile myrtle before.

90
00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:35,440
Speaker 2: You got what she's saying, I'm fertile still, and I

91
00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:37,640
Speaker 2: was like, wait a second, And I was like, this

92
00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:40,360
Speaker 2: is so funny. My cousin goes every time you go

93
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,520
Speaker 2: to the doctor, they tell you like, your liver looks

94
00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:45,000
Speaker 2: incredible or your heart is the size of a twenty

95
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:47,760
Speaker 2: five year old. She's like, how is that possible with

96
00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:49,640
Speaker 2: as much shit you do? And I'm like, but I

97
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:50,720
Speaker 2: also keep my shit together.

98
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:51,280
Speaker 1: That's right.

99
00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:54,480
Speaker 2: You work a very actually healthy balanced if you think

100
00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:57,040
Speaker 2: about it exact, and it's now being confirmed by the

101
00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:57,960
Speaker 2: medical community.

102
00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:00,120
Speaker 5: So just start doing tons of drugs in your twenty

103
00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:01,000
Speaker 5: or maybe before.

104
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:02,680
Speaker 2: No, I don't want to advocate that you have to

105
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:05,160
Speaker 2: have the right personality for drug Okay, I have it.

106
00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:06,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're not for everyone.

107
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,160
Speaker 2: You have to know if you are the right personality type,

108
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:11,640
Speaker 2: and if you are, you'll know, so you know if

109
00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:12,640
Speaker 2: you're asking, you're not.

110
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, you know. I'm very low tolerance when it comes

111
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:17,039
Speaker 5: to any drugs.

112
00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:19,640
Speaker 3: I'm like, I have found like just whatever is like

113
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:21,680
Speaker 3: an eighth of a dose for someone else that's making

114
00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:23,400
Speaker 3: them feel great, Like that's what's going to make me

115
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:24,479
Speaker 3: feel fine or not?

116
00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:25,720
Speaker 1: Stressed about it at least.

117
00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:28,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, you can't handle drugs. No, I have no

118
00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:30,479
Speaker 2: happy drugs. I said to my doctor. I said, so

119
00:04:30,839 --> 00:04:33,080
Speaker 2: can I still get pregnant? And she goes, You're definitely

120
00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:35,880
Speaker 2: still ovulating. She goes, but Chelsea, you had an ablation.

121
00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:43,039
Speaker 1: I thought you could still have a baby after an Ablazian.

122
00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:46,359
Speaker 3: I mean, who knows, well, I do have a follow

123
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,600
Speaker 3: up from a previous Is it a happy ending?

124
00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:49,400
Speaker 1: It actually is.

125
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,279
Speaker 2: I mean, what if some people were just trying to

126
00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:52,599
Speaker 2: sue us for our bad advice?

127
00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:53,600
Speaker 1: Please don't sue us.

128
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,760
Speaker 3: So this comes from Kelly. She wrote in on our

129
00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,320
Speaker 3: Paul W. Down's episode about her fear of flying. If

130
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:01,480
Speaker 3: you remember her, and she.

131
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,640
Speaker 1: Said, what it was the advice that I gave her.

132
00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:06,919
Speaker 5: I think a lot of pills and just go do

133
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,160
Speaker 5: it basically was the advice.

134
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:13,560
Speaker 3: But Kelly says, Dear Chelsea quick followup message on my

135
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:17,719
Speaker 3: chat with you and Paul W. Downs Dear Chelsea, shortly

136
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,880
Speaker 3: after the chat about my flight anxiety with you, Catherine

137
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,080
Speaker 3: and Paul Downs, I'm a huge fan. By the way,

138
00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:26,120
Speaker 3: I faced my fears and booked a flight. I got

139
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,799
Speaker 3: back from my first trip to New York City last week,

140
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,840
Speaker 3: and it was so much fun. With support from you,

141
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:35,679
Speaker 3: my therapist, my partner, and Atavan, I faced my fear

142
00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:38,320
Speaker 3: with a calm and confident smile on my face. I

143
00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:41,760
Speaker 3: always imagined i'd be in tears. I arrived so well

144
00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:43,840
Speaker 3: prepared that I didn't even need to use most of

145
00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:45,600
Speaker 3: the coping mechanisms i'd prepared.

146
00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:46,520
Speaker 5: Ah.

147
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:49,760
Speaker 1: Hello, this is amazing, it's working. I can't wait to

148
00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:50,560
Speaker 1: talk about this.

149
00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:54,440
Speaker 3: I feel invincible now I look at travel in a

150
00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:56,800
Speaker 3: different light. This feels like a huge weight lifted off

151
00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,719
Speaker 3: my shoulders. Thank you for encouraging me and all listeners

152
00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:03,400
Speaker 3: to be old and brave. It's much appreciated. Sending love

153
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:05,360
Speaker 3: to you and strength to all who want to face

154
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:08,800
Speaker 3: a fear. You got this PS. Speaking with you three

155
00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:11,719
Speaker 3: was such a unique and memorable experience. As a bonus,

156
00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,159
Speaker 3: I now have an actual fun fact for those classic

157
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:15,640
Speaker 3: group icebreager activities.

158
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:19,040
Speaker 5: Take good care, Kelly, that is so Cute's that great?

159
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:19,360
Speaker 6: Yeah?

160
00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:21,520
Speaker 2: Because this is really I want to talk about this

161
00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:24,840
Speaker 2: a little bit. When you and I don't mean hollow optimism.

162
00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:27,400
Speaker 2: When I'm trying to talk about positivity and being positive,

163
00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:30,160
Speaker 2: I don't mean like being empty positive like.

164
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:32,080
Speaker 5: That it's all gonna be toxic positivity.

165
00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:32,919
Speaker 1: No, not toxic.

166
00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:36,000
Speaker 2: That's different, okay, Okay, well no, maybe it's similar, but

167
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:36,560
Speaker 2: like you know.

168
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:37,520
Speaker 1: It's all gonna be okay.

169
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:39,640
Speaker 2: It's like no, no, my mother just died. It's not

170
00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:43,280
Speaker 2: gonna be okay right away. I don't mean hollow optimism.

171
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:44,479
Speaker 1: I mean when you.

172
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:48,200
Speaker 2: Choose to look at whatever situation is in front of

173
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:53,279
Speaker 2: you and you actually mentally reason with yourself that it's

174
00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:59,240
Speaker 2: okay to be optimistic and purposeful and intentionally optimistic, you know,

175
00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:01,960
Speaker 2: with your back up straight and holding your head up high.

176
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:06,400
Speaker 2: If you can approach things in that way, the obstacles

177
00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:09,320
Speaker 2: become fewer and fewer if you have that attitude like

178
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:11,480
Speaker 2: she's talking about, she didn't even need all of the

179
00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:13,680
Speaker 2: things that she thought she was gonna need because she

180
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,520
Speaker 2: had actually worked her way through the problem and was

181
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:20,160
Speaker 2: ready to face her fears in a powerful, confident.

182
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:22,480
Speaker 1: Way, not like I'm gonna go fuck you do this right,

183
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:23,200
Speaker 1: in a way.

184
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:26,000
Speaker 2: That I'm capable, I'm strong, and I'm gonna get through this,

185
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,120
Speaker 2: and then you do even better than you thought you

186
00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:28,680
Speaker 2: were gonna do.

187
00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:32,040
Speaker 3: Mmmmmmm, this is making me feel like so I faced

188
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:34,760
Speaker 3: a fear of heights while we were on our Italy

189
00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,800
Speaker 3: vacation and it did not go well, and part of

190
00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:39,320
Speaker 3: me was like, well, great, I never have to do

191
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:40,000
Speaker 3: heights again.

192
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:41,000
Speaker 1: And then it happened.

193
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:45,200
Speaker 3: We went to the top of the Duomo in Florence,

194
00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:48,680
Speaker 3: which was highly recommended and also totally terrifying for a

195
00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:50,200
Speaker 3: person with a fear of heights.

196
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,760
Speaker 5: So it was a little bit traumatics.

197
00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:54,200
Speaker 1: You start to get scared on the way up.

198
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,120
Speaker 3: So on the way up it's just like this little

199
00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:01,080
Speaker 3: staircase that's all enclosed, which was fine, and then you

200
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:03,800
Speaker 3: get up into the inner circle of the dome and

201
00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:07,280
Speaker 3: you're looking down inside, and that for me was kind

202
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,240
Speaker 3: of the worst part because it was so narrow and

203
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,640
Speaker 3: like people were stopping, so I couldn't just like rush

204
00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:14,880
Speaker 3: ahead and get through, and so I was sort of

205
00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:17,480
Speaker 3: like trapped up there, and so that was sort of

206
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:18,080
Speaker 3: the worst part.

207
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:19,640
Speaker 5: And then you get to the roof and you have

208
00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:20,480
Speaker 5: this beautiful view.

209
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,040
Speaker 1: Is the roof separate from the top of the.

210
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,440
Speaker 3: Door, Yeah, you like keep going and then you're outside

211
00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:27,960
Speaker 3: looking at the like the view of the city, and

212
00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:30,600
Speaker 3: so I thought like, oh, I can brave my fears.

213
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:33,800
Speaker 3: But part of me also feels like maybe now I

214
00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,200
Speaker 3: actually do need to conquer this fear of heights that

215
00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,200
Speaker 3: I didn't used to have. But I think once my

216
00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:41,200
Speaker 3: frontal lobe was fully formed, I became I mean.

217
00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:45,360
Speaker 2: It's kind of pretty natural to be scared of heights, right, Like,

218
00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:48,040
Speaker 2: it doesn't feel good when you look over the edge

219
00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:51,880
Speaker 2: of a skyscraper. That's not a fun, happy feeling, and

220
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,920
Speaker 2: nobody feels like, oh, you know, so I think it's

221
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:57,880
Speaker 2: pretty common to be fearful, as long as your fear

222
00:08:57,880 --> 00:08:59,120
Speaker 2: doesn't become paralytic.

223
00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:01,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, well that's the thing is. I was like, I

224
00:09:01,679 --> 00:09:04,400
Speaker 3: never have to do anything heights again. I never have

225
00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:06,080
Speaker 3: to do it again. But then I was like, you

226
00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:07,839
Speaker 3: know what, I feel like this means that I need

227
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,520
Speaker 3: to conquer it. And by concrete and conquering it, the

228
00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:13,120
Speaker 3: only thing you can do is exposure therapy. So I'm like,

229
00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:14,560
Speaker 3: now I think I feel like I need to do

230
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:15,600
Speaker 3: a lot of things like this.

231
00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:17,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, like bungee jumping.

232
00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:19,560
Speaker 1: No, no, I do it. I don't think you have

233
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:20,360
Speaker 1: to go bungee jump.

234
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:21,800
Speaker 5: Okay, all right, I'm off the hook from you.

235
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:24,640
Speaker 2: Then, Yeah, I just there's some fears need that's not

236
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,240
Speaker 2: a natural it's it is natural to be scared of

237
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,199
Speaker 2: fucking falling off of a building.

238
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:33,800
Speaker 1: I think so all right, thank you, Chelsea. I feel

239
00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:34,840
Speaker 1: very validated, welcome.

240
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,920
Speaker 3: You don't even have to call in, I know, well,

241
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:40,079
Speaker 3: we do have a caller, actually have two callers.

242
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,760
Speaker 1: Okay, great, is it just us?

243
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,000
Speaker 5: It's just us today.

244
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,040
Speaker 1: It's a mini so oh okay, perfect.

245
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:47,679
Speaker 2: I love when I find out about it at the

246
00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:48,959
Speaker 2: show after we start taping.

247
00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:51,319
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly, this is what we do. It's always a surprise.

248
00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:53,199
Speaker 1: I know my life is a surprise.

249
00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:01,640
Speaker 3: So Letty and Jess say hi, Chelsea and Catherine. My

250
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:04,200
Speaker 3: partner and I were listening to your podcasts during our

251
00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:06,800
Speaker 3: drive home from Yosemite, and I had to reach out

252
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,600
Speaker 3: about our current issue. We were wondering if you could

253
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,640
Speaker 3: support us with a couple's therapy session. And by the way,

254
00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:14,640
Speaker 3: for any other couples that want to write in, we

255
00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:15,560
Speaker 3: absolutely can.

256
00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:16,920
Speaker 1: I love couple sessions.

257
00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:18,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, so yeah, if you have a problem with your

258
00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:23,000
Speaker 2: friend or boyfriend or girlfriend or non binary friend, you

259
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:23,640
Speaker 2: can call in.

260
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:24,360
Speaker 1: Great.

261
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:27,960
Speaker 5: I'm a thirty four year old marriage and family therapist,

262
00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:30,720
Speaker 5: one that clearly doesn't always take the advice I give

263
00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:34,280
Speaker 5: my partner Letty is currently in school to become a nurse.

264
00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:38,640
Speaker 5: The issue we're facing right now is Letty loves spending

265
00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:42,880
Speaker 5: time with my mom. They are practically best friends. Don't

266
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:44,680
Speaker 5: get me wrong. I know it's a good thing.

267
00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:47,600
Speaker 3: But like most lesbians, I've got mommy issues and so

268
00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:50,880
Speaker 3: does she. Quite frankly, my mom now communicates with me

269
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:53,560
Speaker 3: through her comes over to our home when I'm not

270
00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:57,160
Speaker 3: there to see Letty and quote unquote accidentally crops me

271
00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,160
Speaker 3: out of photos when she zooms in on the two

272
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:02,160
Speaker 3: of them. I know I have to get over it

273
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,320
Speaker 3: at some point, but right now it's just the current

274
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:05,640
Speaker 3: thorn in our relationship.

275
00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:07,400
Speaker 1: Jess, Oh my.

276
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:11,400
Speaker 2: God, Hi Jess, Hi girls, Hi, Hi, Hey, how are you?

277
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:14,760
Speaker 1: Oh my god? That's so funny. What a fun problem.

278
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,720
Speaker 7: I mean, it's a good problem to have, especially with

279
00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:21,679
Speaker 7: you know, the world we're in these days.

280
00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,320
Speaker 1: That's right, That's exactly right.

281
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:28,120
Speaker 2: Yes, that's exactly how you should be looking at this situation. Yeah,

282
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:32,319
Speaker 2: but the zooming, the cropping out of the phook every time.

283
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,440
Speaker 4: Every time I go on Facebook and it's like, oh

284
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:37,600
Speaker 4: my mom tagged me, and I go on and there's

285
00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:40,560
Speaker 4: like this part of my ear and then the rest

286
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,520
Speaker 4: of my family with Letsie and my mom.

287
00:11:42,679 --> 00:11:46,600
Speaker 2: Like zoomed in, So, Letty, do you love your relationship

288
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:47,199
Speaker 2: with her mom?

289
00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:49,000
Speaker 1: Obsessed you are?

290
00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:51,480
Speaker 7: Yeah, I really am so obsessed.

291
00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:53,400
Speaker 1: And what's your relationship like with your own mom?

292
00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:58,480
Speaker 6: So, my relationship with my mom, we were always incredibly close.

293
00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:03,560
Speaker 6: I lost her unfortunately, So now I feel like that's

294
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:06,080
Speaker 6: a big reason why I like attach myself so much

295
00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:09,720
Speaker 6: to Jesse's mom, because they are super They're very much alike.

296
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is like a Disney movie, you guys.

297
00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:15,840
Speaker 2: Everything that's happening here is a Disney movie.

298
00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:18,240
Speaker 7: I mean, I'm wearing a macking mouth shirt and I

299
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:19,559
Speaker 7: don't mind making mouth nose.

300
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:23,040
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, then I mean it works. I mean it

301
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,920
Speaker 1: does it really bother you?

302
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:25,200
Speaker 4: No?

303
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:26,960
Speaker 7: I mean it's a good problem to have.

304
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,400
Speaker 4: I think for a really long time coming out, it

305
00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:33,680
Speaker 4: was like touch and go with how accept that I

306
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,679
Speaker 4: really felt. And then when I met LETTI I was like, oh,

307
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:41,080
Speaker 4: she really loves her. It's a great problem to have.

308
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:44,840
Speaker 4: There needs to be some boundaries, probably, but you know,

309
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:46,520
Speaker 4: maybe I'm a little jealous.

310
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:46,960
Speaker 7: Probably.

311
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:49,280
Speaker 1: Well, no, I think it could be like a little

312
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:50,040
Speaker 1: bit of a boundary.

313
00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:51,640
Speaker 2: But have you spoken to your mom about this in

314
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,079
Speaker 2: a serious way at all or no.

315
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:54,360
Speaker 7: Not in a serious way.

316
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:56,400
Speaker 4: I think I poked fun at it because that's my

317
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:57,439
Speaker 4: way of coping.

318
00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,600
Speaker 7: Yeah, but I probably should say something.

319
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,520
Speaker 1: I mean, I think this is you saying something.

320
00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:05,520
Speaker 2: So I think we're just we're just gonna I think

321
00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:08,120
Speaker 2: there should be a light boundary. But obviously these are

322
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:11,840
Speaker 2: all great problems to have. Your mother is accepting and loving.

323
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:15,400
Speaker 2: She doesn't have her mother anymore. Like everyone's for lack

324
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:18,360
Speaker 2: of a better term, everyone's whole is being filled, right.

325
00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:21,319
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm as long as that's happening, that's a

326
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,000
Speaker 4: good problem.

327
00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:23,680
Speaker 2: I was gonna say cup, and then I just went

328
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,600
Speaker 2: straight to hole and I figured, why not just run

329
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,480
Speaker 2: with that? You know, No, but I think that you guys,

330
00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:32,520
Speaker 2: let Tea and Jess's mom, you should be a little

331
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:34,520
Speaker 2: bit more compassionate.

332
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,480
Speaker 1: Or inclusive, maybe a inclusive.

333
00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:38,960
Speaker 2: It's great that you want to spend time together, but yes,

334
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:42,480
Speaker 2: don't forget about the person that you're the reason you're

335
00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:43,720
Speaker 2: both here, like meeting.

336
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,560
Speaker 6: You're right, You're right, And I will also mention that

337
00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:49,679
Speaker 6: like Jesse's mom's best friend is also my.

338
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:53,000
Speaker 7: Best friend, so it extends beyond just.

339
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,480
Speaker 6: My relationship with her mom too, And you're right, well,

340
00:13:55,559 --> 00:13:57,480
Speaker 6: you should be a little bit more inclusive.

341
00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:58,080
Speaker 1: Girls, Just inclusive.

342
00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:00,640
Speaker 2: Just be considerate of the fact that she feels a

343
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:04,680
Speaker 2: little like it's an odd situation and it's it's beautiful,

344
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,360
Speaker 2: but you know, just be a little considerate of her

345
00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:10,800
Speaker 2: feelings and make sure and especially the zooming in the

346
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:13,560
Speaker 2: out of the pictures. I think you should just be like, listen, bitch,

347
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,400
Speaker 2: I'm your fucking daughter. Okay, when you zoom out from

348
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,480
Speaker 2: my photo to include hers, what kind of signal do

349
00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:21,880
Speaker 2: you think that sends to my brain?

350
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:25,400
Speaker 7: Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, And she claims with

351
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,000
Speaker 7: a mistake, which it might have been.

352
00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I guess her priority is on you though,

353
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:31,760
Speaker 2: because she's like trying to get that photo of you.

354
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:35,880
Speaker 2: This is a honeymoon period that you're experiencing. Don't expect

355
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,840
Speaker 2: it to last forever, so you know, treat it like

356
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:42,280
Speaker 2: a relationship that needs some sort of boundary, because you know, totally.

357
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:42,800
Speaker 1: Yeah.

358
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:46,000
Speaker 3: I do think it's funny when parents who maybe are

359
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:48,440
Speaker 3: not as accepting in the beginning of having a kid

360
00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:51,160
Speaker 3: that's come out, it's like down the road, a lot

361
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:54,760
Speaker 3: of them realize when their kid brings home someone wonderful,

362
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:57,520
Speaker 3: They're like, oh wait, this is what this actually looks like,

363
00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:00,120
Speaker 3: like a loving, fun relationship with a new great or

364
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:01,760
Speaker 3: someone I get to know, and then they get totally

365
00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:02,240
Speaker 3: on board.

366
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,800
Speaker 7: Yeah. I think that's how it was for me.

367
00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:07,800
Speaker 4: I brought a couple ex's home in my lifetime and

368
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,960
Speaker 4: it just never landed. And I thought it was more

369
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:12,880
Speaker 4: about her acceptance of me until she met Latti and

370
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:13,800
Speaker 4: then it all changed.

371
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,360
Speaker 1: How did you two meet through friends?

372
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:19,160
Speaker 4: I lived in San Francisco for like five years and

373
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:22,320
Speaker 4: we just met through mutual friends and then I brought

374
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:23,000
Speaker 4: her down here.

375
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:25,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great.

376
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:27,280
Speaker 2: Gay people are always asking me how to meet people,

377
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,400
Speaker 2: So I'm just always trying to think of new ideas.

378
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,800
Speaker 2: But luckily, I mean, you guys don't seem to have one.

379
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:34,640
Speaker 5: San Francisco's not the most original.

380
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,760
Speaker 1: There was going to be, But no, it's meeting friends who.

381
00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:39,440
Speaker 4: Up there though there's not that many one thousand oaks,

382
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,280
Speaker 4: so I had to get away for a while.

383
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:42,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, that's what.

384
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:44,800
Speaker 2: We had a collar call in last week and she

385
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,240
Speaker 2: was saying the same thing. She lives in this kind

386
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,760
Speaker 2: of small mountain town and she just realized she's out.

387
00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:51,880
Speaker 2: She wants to be gay, and she wants to live

388
00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:53,200
Speaker 2: her life, and she's like, I'm not in the right

389
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,960
Speaker 2: place to meet enough people and have fun. And she's

390
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:59,120
Speaker 2: in her twenties. So I get it. I get moving,

391
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,080
Speaker 2: and good for you for doing that. You know, sometimes

392
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:02,600
Speaker 2: you do have to relocate to find.

393
00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:05,400
Speaker 1: What you're looking for. Yeah, you went fishing and then

394
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:06,120
Speaker 1: you came back.

395
00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:09,640
Speaker 7: I sure did in the Bay one.

396
00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:11,600
Speaker 2: And now you and now your mother is feasting on

397
00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:15,440
Speaker 2: your fish.

398
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:19,400
Speaker 1: I'm not out. Okay, thanks girls for calling in. You

399
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:20,680
Speaker 1: girls are adorable. I love it.

400
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:23,520
Speaker 7: Thank you. Bye bye.

401
00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:27,360
Speaker 1: You were real cute, real cute.

402
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,960
Speaker 3: So yeah, I think we should encourage people also to

403
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:33,960
Speaker 3: write in. So for anybody who wants to write in,

404
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:37,120
Speaker 3: go ahead and write in at Dear Chelsea podcast at

405
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:38,360
Speaker 3: gmail dot com.

406
00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:39,800
Speaker 5: Don't write into Dear.

407
00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:42,120
Speaker 3: Chelsea dot at gmail dot com because that is someone

408
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:45,600
Speaker 3: else's email address, and fortunately she gets some more emails

409
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:49,760
Speaker 3: something Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com, and uh

410
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:51,920
Speaker 3: write couples counseling in the subject line.

411
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:56,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, and shallone to that? Amen?

412
00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:00,240
Speaker 3: Ye