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Speaker 1: Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast

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Speaker 1: wine Down Day. I love your dress. Thank you so much.

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Speaker 1: You look appreciate it. I popped absolutely stunning, and you popped.

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Speaker 1: I saw that in Instagram and I was going to

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Speaker 1: text you and be like you pop I did. I

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Speaker 1: definitely popped. But I still feel like I have to

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Speaker 1: wear like tighter stuff because it's still like but I

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Speaker 1: definitely feel like I have a belly now where it's

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Speaker 1: like hard, I can't suck in anymore. So it's exciting.

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Speaker 1: But you're you're very lean everywhere else, so you're totally

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Speaker 1: give me another couple of weeks and no, but I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I'm super excited. Um yeah, it's just it's nice to

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Speaker 1: finally like feel and like like I feel pregnant, but

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Speaker 1: now I'm like starting to look pregnant. It's not just

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Speaker 1: like my um boobs And are you starting to feel better? Um? So,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh. Michael and I went on a date night,

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Speaker 1: uh last week, we want to cut to you just something,

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Speaker 1: and then we went to see a movie. We went

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Speaker 1: to see Cicario, which I didn't love, but which is

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Speaker 1: a bummer because I loved the first one. But um,

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Speaker 1: we went, yeah, so we went to cut to you.

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Speaker 1: I've had sushi before, not just the cook stuff. I didn't.

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Speaker 1: I'm not doing the raw productor recommendation. And um, even

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Speaker 1: though my be my friend Bath would be like, eat

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Speaker 1: it up, girl, but I just I was just following

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Speaker 1: the rules. I'm just so scared. I'm just following every

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Speaker 1: single I did have a Jimmy John sandwich, but that's

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Speaker 1: different anyways. So, um, but we were eating and I

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Speaker 1: had like I had my big crept hand roll. I

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Speaker 1: was having a California role that Alice I like to Michael,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, oh no, babe, I don't I

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Speaker 1: don't feel good. Oh no, I threw up everywhere and

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Speaker 1: like a little bit comes out and I like, I

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Speaker 1: literally grabbed my bar bar bag from my purse. Run outside.

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Speaker 1: You have a bar pag, so I carry a plastic

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Speaker 1: bark bag, socks, socks and sorry, I don't be to laugh.

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Speaker 1: Yeah whatever, I'm sorry. Poor mineral water on your face

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Speaker 1: right now. Now. I'm sorry. I know it's so sad,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, and and it was gross because it was

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Speaker 1: the a green like actual bar bag that I got

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Speaker 1: from the hospital of the last time I was there

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Speaker 1: because I was super hydrated. So I I mean, I

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Speaker 1: saw my entire California role and I was like, I'm

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Speaker 1: never having sushi again, even after this baby gusting. I

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Speaker 1: was just like, so I then I started crying, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, We're trying to have a date night

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Speaker 1: and I'm disgusting and I'm ugly as I have like

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Speaker 1: puke in my hair and he's like, he's like, no, baby,

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Speaker 1: you're beautiful. He's like picking it out of my hair

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Speaker 1: like the rice sweet. But it was. But besides it,

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Speaker 1: I feel good. It's just sometimes if I eat too fast,

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Speaker 1: I still can't drink water like I still can only

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Speaker 1: have bubbly water, bubbly water. I can only drink like

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Speaker 1: bubbly sparkling like Licroix or I'm drinking like Tobo Chico

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Speaker 1: right now. So it's like, if I have something that

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Speaker 1: sits in my stomach, I had to take us to

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Speaker 1: make sure. I like. So it's frustrating, but I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'm obviously very grateful and pregnant. It's just I wish

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Speaker 1: I wasn't still pinking because I shouldn't be. No, but this, uh,

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Speaker 1: this baby is giving me some s some some tough times,

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Speaker 1: but um, it'll all be worth it. Do you want

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Speaker 1: to know the gender? And dying to know? I have?

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Speaker 1: I sort of am able to gas. Just really some

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Speaker 1: of the things you've been talking. What do you think

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Speaker 1: it is? Well, I'm not I'm I'm not going to

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Speaker 1: gasp because we know, because what if I'm wrong? Who cares? No?

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Speaker 1: I just know. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. When

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Speaker 1: I was pregnant with Rocco, I was so sick. Really,

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Speaker 1: but they say you're sick with a girl. I think

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Speaker 1: it's the opposite. I also only craved super super hot

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Speaker 1: spicy food and lemonade grow lemons. Wanted lemonade with joy.

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Speaker 1: Really Yeah interesting? Okay, so I just don't know. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. Well, I thought maybe we could dial up Mike. UM,

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Speaker 1: let's see if he's around. I know he's at work,

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Speaker 1: but hopefully he'll pick up. Are you guys going to

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Speaker 1: do a gender reveal? Yeah? It's on my Instagram right now.

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Speaker 1: You can see it. It's really cute. Yeah, okay, it's

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Speaker 1: really quick though. I want to talk to you about Peevo. Um.

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Speaker 1: Stephen pastor Reno is the founder of People. He has

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Speaker 1: completely immersed himself in the world of fitness for over

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Speaker 1: fifteen years, and he believes in helping people transform their

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Speaker 1: bodies through sustainable methods that create incredible tone and definition

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Speaker 1: without straining, damaging, or bulking muscles, which I think is fantastic.

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Speaker 1: So basically what I love is that UM it's a

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Speaker 1: streaming service. The people of streaming service offers a large

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Speaker 1: library of videos, including UM structured workout plans and new

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Speaker 1: videos that are updated weekly. So users can stream to

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Speaker 1: sculp which is great. Hone and define anytime, anywhere from

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Speaker 1: any device. So I know, I saw that you have

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Speaker 1: a cycling thing us, so I think, so this is

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Speaker 1: really cool. So you can make the commitment, sign up

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Speaker 1: and choose your workout delivery method, which is awesome, and

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Speaker 1: you can do this from your office, and you can

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Speaker 1: get the thighs, booty and abbs you want, which is amazing.

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Speaker 1: UM the Peo ball gives you an even better lift

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Speaker 1: for your glutes and sculpt your inner and outer thighs.

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Speaker 1: So I know that you just got that light BO.

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Speaker 1: So did I got light BO and I've been hitting

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Speaker 1: it hard and I'm going to add this, Yeah, definitely added.

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Speaker 1: Because the program includes a thirty day challenge. So sixth

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Speaker 1: day total body and three day body burn. Yeah, we

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Speaker 1: can totally do it together. We should get thirty days

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Speaker 1: free streaming. Go to pevalve dot com slash cramer. That's

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Speaker 1: Pevolve p v O l v E dot com slash

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Speaker 1: cramer for thirty days streaming for free, pal dot com

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Speaker 1: slash Cramer. I know what I'm doing tonight, Michael h Hello, Hi, babe, Hey, Honey,

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Speaker 1: Hi honey. Hi. No no, that's why. No, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: no no. I wanted to call you because I wanted

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Speaker 1: to do it together since I asked you to be

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Speaker 1: in studio and he's like, I have to work. Hi,

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Speaker 1: Catherine's here too, My girlfriend Catherine from Nashville. Say, Hi, Catherine,

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Speaker 1: you talked in coming the babe, Yeah I did. She

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Speaker 1: hates me, but it's fine. Yeah, we have a we

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Speaker 1: have a sex therapist on someone to make sure that

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Speaker 1: you know. Catherine's here for this one because she loves me. Um,

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Speaker 1: but babe, um, are you ready to tell everybody what

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Speaker 1: the gender of our baby is? Um? What did you wait? Wait?

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Speaker 1: Wait out Eastern hold up, hold up, hold up? What

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Speaker 1: did you think it was? Yeah? I thought it would

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Speaker 1: go for sure, yeah, and you hands on a girl.

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Speaker 1: I was sick. I was craving fruit. Um, I like

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Speaker 1: I felt, you know, just I felt gross, which is

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Speaker 1: how I felt with Joey. So I was like, I'm

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Speaker 1: definitely having a girl, and I secretly like I I

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Speaker 1: also wanted a girl too. I wanted to, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: to have a sister for jolly. Did that come true? Okay?

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Speaker 1: Now you can please? Is it a girl? Is it

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Speaker 1: a boy? One? Two? Very? It's a little boys? Are

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Speaker 1: how did they be? It's a boy? Do we have

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Speaker 1: a name picked out? We do, but we're not sharing

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Speaker 1: the name until that's a good idea. Yeah, but I

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Speaker 1: have some funny stories about sharing the name too early. Well,

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Speaker 1: we started to do like we picked out like two

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Speaker 1: names right, Bam. It was too wasn't it? Well? He

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Speaker 1: was coming up with boy names are so hard, they

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Speaker 1: super hard, are so difficult. But like Rocco, that's such

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Speaker 1: a cute name. But I named Rocco after St. Rocco,

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Speaker 1: the patron saint of healing, and I just heard the

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Speaker 1: other day the patron saint of Bachelor's which did that, Michael.

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Speaker 1: But I went through so many names because nothing was

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Speaker 1: resonating with me. Yeah, we had we had it like

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Speaker 1: when we like how we said before we like we

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Speaker 1: had our names picked out. We it was, you know, Jolie,

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Speaker 1: and then if it was if it was a girl,

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Speaker 1: we were going to name her Charlie of love Love,

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Speaker 1: Love Love, um. But we always had our boy name

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Speaker 1: be Carter. But then like, what was it? The car

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Speaker 1: wasn't a Carter. Oh. It started as Grayson, and then

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Speaker 1: my girlfriend had a baby named Gray and so and

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Speaker 1: then another Grayson. So I was like, okay, that one's gone,

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Speaker 1: and then we changed it to Carter. But then I

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Speaker 1: feel like there's so many Carters now someone and I

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Speaker 1: just like, I love how Jolie's name, like it's it's

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Speaker 1: a little different. It's not really like that popular. And

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Speaker 1: so we came up with a few I hated. I

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Speaker 1: hated Jet. Sorry, not that I don't like if someone

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Speaker 1: has Jets just for me personally, that's yeah, for me personally,

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Speaker 1: that's not the name. But Michael really liked Jet, didn't you, Ben? Yeh.

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Speaker 1: I mean we're playing with a lot of different name

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Speaker 1: and I liked a lot of stuff. We weren't sure

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Speaker 1: for a long time. It's just feel it so hard,

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Speaker 1: like a little girl just easy, and then a boy.

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Speaker 1: I feel like there's there's just more men out that

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Speaker 1: ruined names for guys and they like I was like,

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Speaker 1: can't because he was a total you know, juice bag

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Speaker 1: in high school. No, can't name can't name that baby.

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Speaker 1: Remember when we came up with Jeter John, We're like,

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Speaker 1: I was like, what Jeter And like, Michael's name is John,

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Speaker 1: so we you know, we kind of wanted to incorporate

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Speaker 1: John and I was like Jeter hes like, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: like Jeeterlt. I'm like Jeter John, like and then we're like,

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Speaker 1: Jeter John, Jador John, get down. Jeter John came out

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Speaker 1: super redneck when we started out, well yeah, and then yeah,

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Speaker 1: we sent it to Katherine. I was like, hey, Katherine,

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Speaker 1: what do you think about Jeter John? What the hell

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Speaker 1: are you saying? Jador John? His name is Jeter John. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but no, we came up with that name, so that

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Speaker 1: was crossed off. What else did we come up with?

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Speaker 1: It's so hard. We came up for a long time.

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Speaker 1: I thought I always wanted like Michael John j next

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Speaker 1: that right the butt. Yeah, a little bit of times

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Speaker 1: when we can come up with one, No, you said

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Speaker 1: What was the other name that you loved about that

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Speaker 1: boy when you were growing up? What was his name? Oh? Klo.

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Speaker 1: He wanted Klo And to me, that sounds like a

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Speaker 1: kilo of like like ke Lloyd Keto, Like I'm like

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Speaker 1: kato o j Klo. I was like, I'd rather have

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Speaker 1: Michael John. And that's when I gave him, like the

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Speaker 1: Michael John one. But we came up with something that

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Speaker 1: has a meaning that is very and this baby has

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Speaker 1: been very for both of us. Yeah, so we I'm

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Speaker 1: really excited to share the name because it is really

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Speaker 1: special for both of us. And we told his um.

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Speaker 1: Yeah I haven't even told you. We told his um,

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Speaker 1: his you know, dad and grandpa, and so there's there's

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Speaker 1: meaning with those with them too. So it's it's just

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Speaker 1: it just feels like great, I love it, you know.

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Speaker 1: And I was, honestly, I'll say this, So we had

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Speaker 1: we did like a pinata thing. It's on the Instagram

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Speaker 1: right now. But um and I again, I for sure

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Speaker 1: thought it was a girl. He thought it was a girl.

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Speaker 1: And he's secretly like, I never had a sister, so

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Speaker 1: I always wanted to kind of know what that was

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Speaker 1: like having having a sister. Um, obviously, I'm so happy

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Speaker 1: like if it's it was it was a boy or

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Speaker 1: a girl. But again, like I always wanted a sister,

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Speaker 1: so I wanted that for Jolie and knowing that this

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Speaker 1: is like the last baby out of my body, like

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Speaker 1: I was just But then at the same time, like

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Speaker 1: now I'm so pumped to have a boy. Like I'm

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Speaker 1: everybody's telling me, like those boys love their mom. Was

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Speaker 1: just going to say, Rocco, all he wants to do

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Speaker 1: is cuddle. He just is a little lover. He boys

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Speaker 1: loved their mama. Now, but I'm all, but I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I'm scared to have a boy because I know Mike

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Speaker 1: is really scared. Well, you guys are just going to

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Speaker 1: have to grow through it. Yeah right, Yeah, it's just

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Speaker 1: you know, we we have the little girl thinks figured out.

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Speaker 1: You know, we both had are very genuinely real shocking

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Speaker 1: emotions when we found out it was a boy. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I cried and I was just I was in completely shocked.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know. I couldn't put words to it. Um,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, no, We've both come around a lot on

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Speaker 1: it and are saying clothes but anyone that knows Jana

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Speaker 1: she like loves buying clothes for other people and even

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Speaker 1: men like me and like to get hooked up for them.

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Speaker 1: Like she's going to spend so many more someone some

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Speaker 1: money on clothes for our son. That is. I know,

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Speaker 1: I came in the day and look what I got

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Speaker 1: for a baby boy, and like he's like, he's like,

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Speaker 1: drop cross this. I was like, it's I just can't wait.

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Speaker 1: And I think like for Mike is like he's just

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Speaker 1: like he has to walk a very fine line with like,

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Speaker 1: you know, obviously we you know, we're both raised great,

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Speaker 1: we have great families, but it's also you know, ways

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Speaker 1: that we want to change, Like he wants to, you know,

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Speaker 1: do different things as a father, and you know, it's

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Speaker 1: just it's it's hard, like making sure that you don't

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Speaker 1: do how do I say that? Then, well it's what

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Speaker 1: it is. It's really more of this a bigger picture

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Speaker 1: of society and a sense of the whole old school,

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Speaker 1: you know, way of life as a male of hiding

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Speaker 1: near emotions, don't cry, don't show vulnerability, be tough, be that.

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Speaker 1: It's shifted a lot in today's culture where you know,

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Speaker 1: it's okay to be that, but at the same time,

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Speaker 1: you still got to be tough, and and no one

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Speaker 1: to show things, and no one would keep it too

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Speaker 1: close to your chest. And so it's just gonna be difficult,

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Speaker 1: I think for any father, for any parents, let alone

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Speaker 1: like raising any child. But I just feel like there's

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Speaker 1: some special about a father raising a son in today's

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Speaker 1: world and dealing with those obstacles of trying to really

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Speaker 1: create a well balanced um environment for your child. Right.

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Speaker 1: And it's like you know again like kind of looking

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Speaker 1: back in your childhood and stuff. It's like how our

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Speaker 1: parents raised us has affected us in our adult life.

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Speaker 1: You know, not saying they're they're bad, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean, but they're you know, I'm sure we're going

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Speaker 1: to mess our kids up in some way, but we

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Speaker 1: look back and be like, man, like, you know, my

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Speaker 1: dad was really he didn't give me that, you know,

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Speaker 1: I was good enough, so now I and then I

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Speaker 1: strived for good enough and other men or like in

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Speaker 1: with you know, your father, you have your issues too

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Speaker 1: where it's like you know, you you want to like

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Speaker 1: kind of change the pattern a little bit. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: I mean, but every single person wants to do that,

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Speaker 1: right because like even our parents when they became parents,

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Speaker 1: they wanted to do things different than what their parents did.

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Speaker 1: And so you know, like we said before on on

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Speaker 1: your podcast, is like, you know, we know, like our

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Speaker 1: parents did the best that they can, We're doing the

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Speaker 1: best that we can and that's all you can ask for.

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Speaker 1: And so all you can do is learn from your

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Speaker 1: life experiences like everything else. And so when we becomething Molling,

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Speaker 1: you become parents, you're gonna learn from your life experience

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Speaker 1: of having parents and what they did with you. And

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Speaker 1: obviously you're gonna have things you might want to change

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Speaker 1: her do differently. What is your biggest fear about having

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Speaker 1: a boy? Though? Um? Oh, man, I'll tell you mine

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Speaker 1: for you go ahead. So he was at my gym

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Speaker 1: and there was it's kind of like con there was

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Speaker 1: a little girl like if a little okay, So there

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Speaker 1: was a there was a the boy around the same

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Speaker 1: age as Jolie. He was crying, and Michael's first reaction

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Speaker 1: was like stop crying, shut up. But if it was Jolie,

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Speaker 1: he'd be like, come here, what's wrong? You know what

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Speaker 1: I mean? And that he came home and he's like, man,

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Speaker 1: he's like I noticed that. That was just like shut up. Kid,

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Speaker 1: you know, but if it was a girl. But so

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Speaker 1: it's like it's again being tender with a boy and

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Speaker 1: still acknowledging like, you know, why are you crying? What

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Speaker 1: hurt your feelings? It's okay to feel that way, but

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Speaker 1: also being like you know, but you don't want to

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Speaker 1: raise it soft to either, So right exactly that And

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Speaker 1: that's my biggest fear is just kind of like what

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Speaker 1: I said when you just touched on it, creating a

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Speaker 1: balanced environment where you know, actually beings vulnerable is a

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Speaker 1: a major way of expressing toughness. Now you know in

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Speaker 1: my mind that is that is actually showing you know,

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Speaker 1: your cards and showing your emotions. But there's a comment

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Speaker 1: place to do that. And you know, again, you your

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Speaker 1: natural reaction of how you were raised in some situation

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Speaker 1: is going to come up. And Janna knows that, and

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Speaker 1: I know that, and I know that Danna is gonna

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Speaker 1: do everything she can keep me in check because I'm

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Speaker 1: going to have times where my patience is short, I

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Speaker 1: get short tempered, and I just want to kind of

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Speaker 1: react and you know, and just kind of come out

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Speaker 1: give it to him a little bit. And those times

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Speaker 1: will happen, and sometimes he's gonna need that. I'm not

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Speaker 1: saying that's never gonna happen because I think kids need that,

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Speaker 1: you know, um, you know to be okay, cut cut

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Speaker 1: the ship, you know, like that's right. So um, but no,

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Speaker 1: that's I think we have the same fear going into

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Speaker 1: that each other on me about reason the boy. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what to do with this little pee weee well,

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Speaker 1: get ready to get on. I would wear sunglasses when

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Speaker 1: you're changing him because you take that diaper off and

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Speaker 1: if you're not careful, you just get covered. But it's

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Speaker 1: so over or they have but it's like, how do

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Speaker 1: you clean like a pennis Like I'm like, easier than

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Speaker 1: a vagina. Really, I feel like it's so easy, which

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Speaker 1: I like, I know, it's like I know my parts,

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Speaker 1: I know her parts since like with a boy, it's

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Speaker 1: like I avoided little peepie's and now I gotta have

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Speaker 1: you know, now you have to watch one and Jen

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Speaker 1: and Katherine, you guys can't test with this. I gave

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Speaker 1: jan head just because you know, I remember where my

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Speaker 1: brother was a baby in changing him and him having

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Speaker 1: a little baby erection. Yeah, that is disgusting. I don't know. No, Yes, Harry, Well,

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Speaker 1: he's watching baby born, like but stop like a baby.

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Speaker 1: If just happened, I'm sorry, I will scream just like when,

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Speaker 1: because that's why I never wanted a boy dog. And

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Speaker 1: the first time I saw waffles little lips that come out,

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Speaker 1: I get the f away from me so disgusting. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: yeah yeah, so that's probably my biggest thing. And then

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Speaker 1: also I'm going to feel really really really bad for

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Speaker 1: his girlfriend, like and then his wife, like I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: feel ver back. I'm gonna be yeah, I know, and like,

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Speaker 1: don't say that, you know, I will because like I

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Speaker 1: always Catherine, because I always like, I love you, Pam.

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Speaker 1: I just don't want to say that. Like first and foremost,

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Speaker 1: like I know his mother in law, My mother in

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Speaker 1: law listens to this. Michael's mom. She's amazing, she's so great.

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Speaker 1: But in the very beginning, you know, she was like,

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Speaker 1: this is a tradition, like you know, you know, everyone

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Speaker 1: comes home for Christmas. And I was like no, like

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Speaker 1: and then I wanted like Michael to like stick up

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Speaker 1: for me, to be like and I don't want to

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Speaker 1: and so like, and he didn't say anything, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, dude, like what and he's like, like my mom.

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Speaker 1: I was like, you're not married to your mom, like

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Speaker 1: you're married to me, you know. But now if I'm

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Speaker 1: like Pam, that's the thing, I'm gonna be like, the

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Speaker 1: hell you. I was like divorce her, Like I would

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Speaker 1: be like I'm gonna be so I mean, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: be like pay him on steroids, Like I'll be like no,

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Speaker 1: absolutely not. There is no like if ants or butts

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Speaker 1: about it, like and like kind of like, ah, I

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Speaker 1: shut her down a little bit, like I'm going to

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Speaker 1: like annihilate this woman that comes in and tries to

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Speaker 1: steal my Christmas with my child and my little son. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean obviously I do now, but it's hard for them.

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Speaker 1: It's hard for the boys to also had that transition

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Speaker 1: from their mama because he's like, you know, it's like, hey,

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Speaker 1: like we now have our family and but and so

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Speaker 1: I have to then remember that too, like being from

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Speaker 1: But at the same time, I'm like, this is my

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Speaker 1: little boy, like you are mine, right, it will be

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Speaker 1: and I you know, I will probably be very similar

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Speaker 1: Rocco bringing girlfriends home. But I have some serious ex

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Speaker 1: monster and lost stories that will make you laugh out loud.

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Speaker 1: We should actually we should do that monster because everybody

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Speaker 1: has them. Yeah, I mean, luckily, I'm so fortunate, like

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Speaker 1: you know, Pam is fantastic, and I'm so fortunate that

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Speaker 1: she's my mother in law, you know. But I mean again,

378
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Speaker 1: like but in the beginning, it's always difficult, and I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: it's always the guy's mom. It is because the guys don't,

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Speaker 1: like they're afraid to say something to their mom, which

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Speaker 1: I now like can like appreciate understand now having a

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Speaker 1: boy and not knowing like where my heart pollsterings for.

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Speaker 1: But it's at the same time it's also I know

384
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Speaker 1: and I love that, but at the same time, i'm

385
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Speaker 1: your wife, you know, like so, but now I kind

386
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Speaker 1: of understand both sides of it. But it's always like

387
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Speaker 1: a dude, it's like you're you're not sleeping with your mom,

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Speaker 1: You're sleeping with me. So that's bottom. Yeah, And then

389
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:43,960
Speaker 1: like any of the girls who brings home that looked

390
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:47,520
Speaker 1: like hose like go bye bye, like with the p

391
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Speaker 1: trap like money, Yeah, I'm not gonna happen. But I'm

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Speaker 1: really excited to raise a boy with you, honey, and

393
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Speaker 1: I love you, and I'm just very happy that we're

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Speaker 1: in a good place, and that we're bringing another um

395
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Speaker 1: baby into this world, and that it's a boy, and

396
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Speaker 1: we're going to have the best of both worlds now

397
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Speaker 1: we are. It's gonna be a lot a lot of

398
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:10,000
Speaker 1: fun and a whole new series of learning. Um And

399
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Speaker 1: you get to teach him how to be how to

400
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Speaker 1: respect women. And I think that's going to be awesome

401
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:17,240
Speaker 1: because because you're in such a good place and because

402
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:21,560
Speaker 1: you can now um yeah, because you can now show

403
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:25,160
Speaker 1: him the way to respect and treat a woman. Yeah,

404
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:28,920
Speaker 1: there's no question that that there's gonna be the biggest

405
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Speaker 1: time that I'm going to have to watch my temper

406
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Speaker 1: and how I reacted because that has been such an

407
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Speaker 1: obviously a thing for me in my growth as a

408
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Speaker 1: as a human being, as a person, as a man,

409
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Speaker 1: that if he starts to act in ways that are

410
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:46,800
Speaker 1: negative that I learned through the hardest way possible what

411
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Speaker 1: not to do and how to treat people, that I

412
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Speaker 1: might just go off and and beat that as you know,

413
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:58,680
Speaker 1: lying or treating women bad or something like that. Yeah,

414
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Speaker 1: I don't know how, my patient, you might let me go. Yeah,

415
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 1: all right, baby, we'll get back to work. I love

416
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Speaker 1: your face and I'll see you at home already. I'm like, okay,

417
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,560
Speaker 1: because I don't have my period right now, I'm going

418
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:23,520
Speaker 1: to um, let Jen take this. She is a Lola expert,

419
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Speaker 1: I am, and you know what, Look, oh my god,

420
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Speaker 1: she has them in a pressure right now. Can I

421
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 1: see one. Here's a super, here's a regular. Oh my gosh.

422
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 1: Are great for different sizes, for different days throughout the

423
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:38,200
Speaker 1: week when you're on your period, because you know, when

424
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,159
Speaker 1: you first start, the flow is heavy and then it

425
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:42,320
Speaker 1: lightens off. Yeah, and you don't want to you don't

426
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:46,439
Speaker 1: need like five million heavies when you like. So what

427
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:50,480
Speaker 1: I love about is you can customize whatever size right Yeah,

428
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:53,199
Speaker 1: absolutely the box you can customize it. You can do

429
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,000
Speaker 1: half and half. I think they even have a smaller,

430
00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:59,800
Speaker 1: um like a super small. They have penny liners. They

431
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 1: come once a month. They show up exactly at the

432
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:04,720
Speaker 1: right time, and they actually remind you like, oh shoot,

433
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:07,200
Speaker 1: I'm going to start my period because there's the Lola box.

434
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 1: That's fantastic. I think that's so great. And it's also

435
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:13,119
Speaker 1: it's good for you to their b p A free

436
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:17,000
Speaker 1: plastic applicators, so they're um, they're they're good for your body,

437
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:21,120
Speaker 1: so you know, we worry. They're natural um, which I love.

438
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,399
Speaker 1: There's no mystery fibers or doubts about what's going in

439
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,720
Speaker 1: your body. So I feel like we care about what

440
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:27,479
Speaker 1: we're eating, so we should also care about what we're

441
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:32,359
Speaker 1: actually inserting into our body. Absolutely. The offer pads liners um,

442
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,680
Speaker 1: and you can choose a number of boxes you want

443
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:37,359
Speaker 1: as well. I get to a month so that I

444
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:40,520
Speaker 1: just I kind of have a stockpile and I put

445
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:43,920
Speaker 1: the extras in my travel bag. I have them everywhere.

446
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,359
Speaker 1: I love that. Well. For forty percent off all subscriptions,

447
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,280
Speaker 1: visit my lola dot com and entered Janna. When you subscribe,

448
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,920
Speaker 1: that's my Lola dot com and entered Janna. Forty percent

449
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:55,520
Speaker 1: off all subscriptions my Loola dot com and enter Janna.

450
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,280
Speaker 1: All right, I'm really excited about this because we have

451
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:00,480
Speaker 1: a sex therapist that's going to be on Her name

452
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 1: is Leslie Gustafsson. I am so excited. She's also a

453
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 1: marriage and family therapist as well, so we can ask

454
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:12,640
Speaker 1: her everything. I like that I do too. That's really

455
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,400
Speaker 1: especially like family, you know, Like I mean, I've been

456
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:18,159
Speaker 1: to like therapists obviously, but like I wonder if she

457
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,720
Speaker 1: deals with the whole family. The whole family comes in

458
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 1: and sits down and talks to I want to hear

459
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,679
Speaker 1: all about Yeah, I know, I love that. I'm excited.

460
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,120
Speaker 1: But she's like the real deal apparently, I mean she's been.

461
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:32,200
Speaker 1: She has a book too, called um Or. Her passion

462
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:35,640
Speaker 1: is to help as many individuals and couples as possible

463
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:39,880
Speaker 1: to create amazing love, amazing sex, and amazing lives. So

464
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:43,439
Speaker 1: she um she developed the Amazing Intimacy Box Company. I

465
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 1: want to hear more about this is this is like,

466
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:50,320
Speaker 1: oh my god, it's it's like all the boxes. That's

467
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:54,680
Speaker 1: like the box subscriptions. Yeah, where created fun, loving, pleasurable

468
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:58,200
Speaker 1: experiences to get delivered to your doorstep with inspirational coaching. Provided.

469
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:01,720
Speaker 1: That's really cool. I like that. Awesome. I wonder what

470
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:04,919
Speaker 1: comes in those boxes? To ask her, I want to

471
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:07,520
Speaker 1: I want an aster to that right now. And I

472
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:11,160
Speaker 1: might want to get in on this. I might want

473
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 1: a monthly membership. But you're single, Well, that's right, you

474
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,639
Speaker 1: have kind of like a man friend. I have a

475
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:23,000
Speaker 1: man front. Yeah. Is it getting better going? That's good? Yeah, Okay,

476
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:27,360
Speaker 1: we're just friends. But then why would you want to physically. Wait,

477
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:30,639
Speaker 1: you know why I just totally lied? Oh my god,

478
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:34,760
Speaker 1: I know I lied. I don't know why I did that.

479
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:41,120
Speaker 1: I think I don't know. Do you are you okay?

480
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 1: Do you want him to be your boyfriend? No? I do,

481
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:47,199
Speaker 1: I totally I love him. He's so kind, he's incredible.

482
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:50,120
Speaker 1: I don't know. Why did I just say that? Why

483
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:52,960
Speaker 1: did you lie to me? I don't know. Maybe I

484
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:56,520
Speaker 1: didn't mean I didn't want to. Ready, I'm I am

485
00:26:56,640 --> 00:27:01,280
Speaker 1: so ready, I you know. I think it's because this

486
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:04,480
Speaker 1: is the first time this is very public on this

487
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 1: had cast, and I think that, well, we're not saying

488
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:12,640
Speaker 1: his name, right, but now we can say your boyfriend

489
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 1: in said a man friend. Yeah, he is my boyfriend.

490
00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:20,680
Speaker 1: He is. Yeah, and the divorce is final, not yet.

491
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:24,840
Speaker 1: That's fine. But I think that's another reason why I'm

492
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:29,360
Speaker 1: you know, cautious and cautiously cautious, right, yeah, But I mean,

493
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:32,439
Speaker 1: like you guys are good, though, super good? Yeah? What

494
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:38,160
Speaker 1: makes it different? Like why the communication is so incredible?

495
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:46,359
Speaker 1: Um rockmentical respect? Yes? He yes, and he likes him. Yes,

496
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:51,960
Speaker 1: ladies and gentlemen, Jen has a boyfriend and I lied

497
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:56,480
Speaker 1: about it? You did? Oh you know what We're gonna

498
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:59,480
Speaker 1: talk about your lying ways right now because Leslie Stepson

499
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:05,240
Speaker 1: is on the phone. Hello, Hello, Hi, Hi, how are

500
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:09,400
Speaker 1: you really? Great? So lightly to be here. Um, thank

501
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:12,840
Speaker 1: you so much for being on this podcast. Um it

502
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:16,160
Speaker 1: is I'm Janna and we also have producer Jen here.

503
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:19,439
Speaker 1: Wonderful Hi Jen, Hi, Fan is so nice to meet.

504
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:23,120
Speaker 1: Nice to me. I've heard you're just like the guru

505
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 1: of all things sex, love, marriage and family? Is this true?

506
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:34,640
Speaker 1: Just it's it's it's called experience, right, I mean, you're

507
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:37,360
Speaker 1: it's my life, it's my life, it's my passion. I've

508
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:39,520
Speaker 1: been privileged to do it for a very long time.

509
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:45,040
Speaker 1: So yes, I can I ask how you like? How

510
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:47,320
Speaker 1: do you like? How are you the guru at these things? Like?

511
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 1: How how have you made this? I mean, did you

512
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,280
Speaker 1: and your husband have intimacy issues or is it just

513
00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 1: something that you've always that's just where you've um grown

514
00:28:56,960 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 1: with your with your therapy or well. I started out

515
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 1: years ago kind of practicing generally with depression and anxiety

516
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 1: in women's issues and all of that. But I had

517
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 1: a sled first marriage to a guy who had um

518
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:14,000
Speaker 1: what we don't call sexual addiction sexual addiction now, but

519
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:16,640
Speaker 1: it definitely was sexual addiction and he'd have an affair

520
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:21,640
Speaker 1: and we never recovered and from that UM. At the

521
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:24,400
Speaker 1: same time, I was working with couples and feeling like

522
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:27,160
Speaker 1: I can even treat the whole couple because we have

523
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 1: no training in sexuality and graduate school, believe it or not,

524
00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 1: very little for all therapists, and even now, yes there's

525
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 1: like one class on sexuality usually if that, and we're

526
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,080
Speaker 1: just not prepared to be able to treat a whole couple.

527
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:44,600
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I need to get better at this,

528
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:47,160
Speaker 1: and my heart is to be able to help everybody

529
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:50,280
Speaker 1: in the most important areas of their lives because it's

530
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 1: so greatly affects me, affected me personally. But then I

531
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:56,880
Speaker 1: was just feeling, you know, not capable of helping and

532
00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:59,880
Speaker 1: people need it. So are you tivingly going to see set?

533
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:03,360
Speaker 1: I am a certified sex therapist of been practicing UM

534
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 1: sexuality sex therapy since two thousand four. Yeah, and I

535
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:11,360
Speaker 1: love it. Yeah, I love it. I've been my husband,

536
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:13,800
Speaker 1: my current husband, because I've been married twenty one years.

537
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:17,240
Speaker 1: We wrote the book Amazing Intimacy Create a Spectacular Marriage

538
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 1: in and out of the bedroom. But we've seen men, women,

539
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 1: in couples all day long. That's what we do. That's amazing. Well,

540
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:25,360
Speaker 1: so can I ask I know, I know usually therapists

541
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 1: ask you questions. I mean, like the patients ask you questions.

542
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:30,920
Speaker 1: But I'm just curious because, um, you know, obviously I'm

543
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:32,480
Speaker 1: not sure if you know my background at all, but

544
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:34,760
Speaker 1: my husband he's had it. I've just gotten to know

545
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:37,200
Speaker 1: you in the last twenty four hours and I have

546
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:41,000
Speaker 1: to say, I'm so honored, and I just think you're

547
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:44,040
Speaker 1: fears and I think you've walked through so much that

548
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 1: I'm just touched by your journey and you're only thirty

549
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:51,120
Speaker 1: four and I'm like, what, wow, So I appreciate. I mean,

550
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:53,959
Speaker 1: it's been tough. But I guess my question I'm curious

551
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 1: is because you know, obviously my husband has had affair

552
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 1: as your first husband had affairs and you didn't get

553
00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:01,320
Speaker 1: through it. If you would have had the training that

554
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:03,160
Speaker 1: you had, now, do you think you would have been

555
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,960
Speaker 1: able to have made your first marriage work or it

556
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:09,680
Speaker 1: was possibly there isn't. I don't have a lot of

557
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 1: regret because I think that marriage needed to end and

558
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:17,640
Speaker 1: he went off to get more well because it ended,

559
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:21,920
Speaker 1: and I went off and was able to um have

560
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:25,280
Speaker 1: really the marriage that I had long forward and probably

561
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 1: not really chosen UM but should have. And then I,

562
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 1: you know, I ended up with the gift of a

563
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 1: marriage that I never imagined could be so amazing, with

564
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:38,480
Speaker 1: a partner who could be with me in the way

565
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 1: that I needed. But my act, you know, we were

566
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:43,760
Speaker 1: very much in love, but there was just too much

567
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:46,680
Speaker 1: damage in a very short period of time, and he

568
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:50,360
Speaker 1: wasn't getting well and he wasn't recovering, so I was

569
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:54,360
Speaker 1: continuing to put myself back into the same situation. Yeah,

570
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:57,240
Speaker 1: I mean, I definitely hear that. Luckily my husband is, yes,

571
00:31:57,320 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 1: he has, he had slips along the way, sure, and

572
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,880
Speaker 1: it's you know, it's almost broken us to the point

573
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:05,440
Speaker 1: of filing. But at the same time, like he's and

574
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:07,800
Speaker 1: he knows that's like, okay, if this continues to happen

575
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:11,480
Speaker 1: like that, like by like there's only so much that

576
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:14,880
Speaker 1: women can take with without literally just being like, I

577
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:17,520
Speaker 1: can't live my life if this is going to continue

578
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:18,960
Speaker 1: to happen. And that's when I think he had his

579
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:21,720
Speaker 1: AHA moment too, and he changed his life and so

580
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 1: you know, luckily he's amazing now. But it's just having

581
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:28,200
Speaker 1: that fear I think is like as as a as

582
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 1: a person on your couch right now, I guess what

583
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:34,239
Speaker 1: I'll say is and I um, I'll say this like

584
00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 1: it's it's hard for me to because I know that's

585
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:39,080
Speaker 1: always in the back of my mind, like things are amazing,

586
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 1: things are great, like we're you know, we're expecting another

587
00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:46,000
Speaker 1: child and uh, he's thank you, and you know, our

588
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:49,080
Speaker 1: family is great. But I'm I and I told this

589
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 1: to our couple of therapists too, is I'm so scared

590
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:55,200
Speaker 1: of that, Like where's the next shoe that's going to drop? Yeah,

591
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 1: And that's that's the response that's completely normal when you've

592
00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:01,440
Speaker 1: gone through and I considered a trauma infidelity as a trauma,

593
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:03,800
Speaker 1: and it takes a while to get out of that

594
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:06,280
Speaker 1: crisis mentality. I think you're a couple of years in

595
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 1: if I'm not mistaken, and recovering and working on it,

596
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:14,400
Speaker 1: and and you've got two willing partners here who are

597
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:17,360
Speaker 1: are are committed to doing the work and willing and

598
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:20,280
Speaker 1: that's so important and that's everything. But it takes a

599
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:23,400
Speaker 1: very long time to get out of that mindset that says,

600
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:27,000
Speaker 1: you know, what if it happens again or even being

601
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:29,320
Speaker 1: triggered when little things come up in the day to day,

602
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:32,760
Speaker 1: which I'm sure that still happens for the two of you. Uh.

603
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:35,040
Speaker 1: But what I like to say to couples, and I

604
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:38,000
Speaker 1: think it might be helpful to you to hear too,

605
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 1: is that once we run into something like this that

606
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:49,120
Speaker 1: happens relationally, we have a kind of awareness when it's

607
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 1: not you know, hyper vigilance that is so helpful because

608
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:57,480
Speaker 1: none of us are certain that we're going to be

609
00:33:57,560 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 1: able to love each other all the days of our

610
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:04,240
Speaker 1: life well without hurt, and so to have a healthy

611
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 1: awareness that, wow, we we actually have to stay at this,

612
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:09,960
Speaker 1: and we have to be involved with each other, and

613
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:12,920
Speaker 1: we have to keep working at it for marriage, any

614
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:16,480
Speaker 1: marriage to work is a kind of awareness that everybody

615
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:19,440
Speaker 1: needs to come into if they're going to make it last.

616
00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 1: And it's it's unfortunate or maybe not um that it

617
00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:28,080
Speaker 1: came through the tragedy and trauma of infidelity, but I

618
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:32,680
Speaker 1: have seen so many people have that the amazing impact

619
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:37,319
Speaker 1: that turns the whole thing around depth and deepens the

620
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:41,000
Speaker 1: depthen deepens the relationship and allows us to do some

621
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:42,480
Speaker 1: of the work that we may be needed to do

622
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:46,920
Speaker 1: and hadn't done before, and it doesn't. It's what was needed,

623
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:51,480
Speaker 1: like a crisis, right for the growth to happen. Absolutely,

624
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:54,120
Speaker 1: What about for the couples that are just like that,

625
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 1: that don't have infidelity that it's the marriage is is

626
00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:01,440
Speaker 1: fine and there's nothing going wrong wrong, but like, but

627
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:07,560
Speaker 1: yet it's still there's not that like passion to passion. Yeah,

628
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 1: the passion is not there, like what like And it's like,

629
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:13,120
Speaker 1: how do you how do you kind of jump start that?

630
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:16,280
Speaker 1: How do you how do you start to be like, Okay,

631
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:18,319
Speaker 1: I'm going to give him something that he needs, and

632
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:24,680
Speaker 1: but yet you're so stuck in your like normal right

633
00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:27,319
Speaker 1: And if that's a great question, And of course it's

634
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:29,359
Speaker 1: kind of the bulk of the work I do all

635
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:31,640
Speaker 1: the time, because once you journey along as a couple,

636
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:34,160
Speaker 1: it does kind of settle into you know, we're doing

637
00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:37,279
Speaker 1: our lives and we're doing responsibility kids and you're taking

638
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:42,920
Speaker 1: a kid, and we kind of we get be prioritized

639
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:45,920
Speaker 1: and those early high flying feelings that kind of drove

640
00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 1: the relationship initially where we're like, oh my god, we're

641
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:51,480
Speaker 1: the same and you're fabulous and oh my gosh are Anthony?

642
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:53,480
Speaker 1: And on into you, and there really is a heightened

643
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:55,879
Speaker 1: state for a good couple of years, so we can

644
00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:59,399
Speaker 1: ride out on and then about the two years, maybe

645
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:02,680
Speaker 1: eighteen months to year, market starts to dip and we're like, oh,

646
00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:05,480
Speaker 1: oh he's a real person. Oh she's got stuff too,

647
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:09,760
Speaker 1: right right, we kind of fall from that really heightened place,

648
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:13,360
Speaker 1: which is necessary because they can't just stay heightened overly

649
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:16,200
Speaker 1: on our feelings forever in a day, but it can

650
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:18,280
Speaker 1: be the time where you're like, we've got to figure

651
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:20,719
Speaker 1: out how to do this love thing, Like how do

652
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:23,799
Speaker 1: we do real relationship now and keep it alive and

653
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 1: exciting and it doesn't just happen anymore. We have to

654
00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:29,920
Speaker 1: make it happen. But we can't. We can't be prioritize

655
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:31,920
Speaker 1: ourselves and stop dating and do all the things that

656
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:33,920
Speaker 1: we once did and expect we're going to have the

657
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:39,440
Speaker 1: same glow mm hmm. But I and ignite something new,

658
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:45,480
Speaker 1: whether it's a new restaurant or a new area um

659
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:48,600
Speaker 1: in the city, because otherwise I feel like we are

660
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 1: such creatures of habit. It's like, where do you want

661
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,920
Speaker 1: to go? You pick from the same five restaurants, You

662
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:58,799
Speaker 1: pick from the same you know, five coffee places and

663
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:03,200
Speaker 1: you're not experienced anything new, so it starts to feel

664
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:09,080
Speaker 1: just like groundhogs day. Yes, it's been boring because the exciting,

665
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:12,719
Speaker 1: and then it flists into what we want, which is

666
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:15,520
Speaker 1: secure and stable. But then it starts to feel like,

667
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:17,560
Speaker 1: well did I marry my brother? That's not what I

668
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:21,840
Speaker 1: find up for because both poles, if you will, are essential.

669
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:25,400
Speaker 1: That you have novelty and adventure and uncertainty, but you

670
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:30,719
Speaker 1: also have this stable, secure, intimate life. Both need to

671
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:34,320
Speaker 1: be happening. Because we didn't. We married for the excitement.

672
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 1: We married for the partnership and the good feelings and

673
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:39,960
Speaker 1: the companionships. But then it settles into oh, it's feel

674
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:44,480
Speaker 1: so good to be you know, stable and secure now

675
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:49,279
Speaker 1: for very long? Leslie, do you think the idea of

676
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:54,760
Speaker 1: marriage is outdated? I'm talking about the legal aspect of marriage,

677
00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:57,520
Speaker 1: like you go to the courthouse, get the marriage certificate,

678
00:37:57,640 --> 00:38:01,600
Speaker 1: you have to get married within three days. I don't.

679
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 1: I don't know that it's outdated. I don't think our

680
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:11,080
Speaker 1: needs for connection and belonging um and and guests of relationships,

681
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:13,680
Speaker 1: those are core to who we are as people. So

682
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 1: commitment connection that will never be outdated. That people are

683
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:25,359
Speaker 1: it's people aren't meant to be monogamous. Uh, that's very

684
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:29,360
Speaker 1: current thinking because the idea is that you will settle

685
00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:33,200
Speaker 1: into kind of stability and security and maybe we're really

686
00:38:33,239 --> 00:38:37,520
Speaker 1: not made for monogamy, and so that we have to

687
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:42,359
Speaker 1: start looking for novelty elsewhere in order to get all

688
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:46,960
Speaker 1: of our needs bills. And it is true that one

689
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:50,640
Speaker 1: person can't do it all for us, and so part

690
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:53,000
Speaker 1: of the thinking is that, and so you know, do

691
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:56,279
Speaker 1: we find other ways to get needs met? Now I'm

692
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:58,480
Speaker 1: not a defender of that at all, but it is

693
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:01,239
Speaker 1: current thinking. And there is kind of a kind of

694
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:04,120
Speaker 1: a non is that where it's like, okay, so if

695
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,520
Speaker 1: one person you know, love language is more touch than

696
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:08,600
Speaker 1: that person is, like I hate touch, does that mean

697
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:11,160
Speaker 1: that that person basically has to like give them that

698
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:16,880
Speaker 1: every once in a while to meet halfway? Absolutely, because

699
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:19,560
Speaker 1: there's no way you're going to have a longstanding committed

700
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:22,440
Speaker 1: relationships of every of any kind of series and so

701
00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:25,520
Speaker 1: willing willing to self sacrifice and surrender and not do

702
00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:27,480
Speaker 1: what feels good for you all of the time. But

703
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:29,279
Speaker 1: what if it's like just not what you want to do.

704
00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:31,319
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not saying I'm just like speaking for

705
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:33,239
Speaker 1: some people that have like DM me to be like I,

706
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:36,440
Speaker 1: it's just it's too much energy out of my day

707
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:38,400
Speaker 1: and after the kids, and it's like I don't like,

708
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:41,960
Speaker 1: I don't want to. Here's the thing and why it

709
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,000
Speaker 1: will work because when someone says, you know, I don't

710
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:46,359
Speaker 1: want to do it, I say, I wonder if that

711
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:50,480
Speaker 1: person's needs are getting filled. Because one we're pouring into

712
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:54,279
Speaker 1: each other. You get this wonderful cycle going kind of

713
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:58,360
Speaker 1: organically where he's giving to me and I'm giving to

714
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:01,000
Speaker 1: him and we want to is because it feels good

715
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:02,719
Speaker 1: to give and we're in this positive place and he

716
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 1: gives an I give. You know, it's a different thing

717
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:06,080
Speaker 1: than stay. And they're like going, I don't want to

718
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:09,680
Speaker 1: give because I'm not getting m hm right, because if

719
00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:12,600
Speaker 1: we aren't getting, we'll stop wanting to give and we'll

720
00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:16,640
Speaker 1: start getting resovable. Yeah. Well, and just like you don't

721
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:18,799
Speaker 1: want to, that could be a clue. And now how

722
00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:21,799
Speaker 1: come I don't want to? What's not happening for me?

723
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:24,440
Speaker 1: That's that's enlivening me in such a way that I

724
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:26,400
Speaker 1: don't want to do. I have a resentment or I

725
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:28,480
Speaker 1: have a block. Do I feel like he's not a

726
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:30,880
Speaker 1: tuned to me, Well, what if that person is just

727
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:32,960
Speaker 1: like I mean, for my husband for example, like you know,

728
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:35,839
Speaker 1: intimacy is really really hard for him, so it's like

729
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:39,600
Speaker 1: meaning emotional connection. Yeah, and it's just like you know,

730
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:42,920
Speaker 1: even sometimes he's like, yeah, I want to hold your hand,

731
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:44,560
Speaker 1: but maybe I don't want to, so I just I

732
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:46,719
Speaker 1: almost have to tell myself hold her hand because I

733
00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:48,440
Speaker 1: know that she's gonna like me holding your hand. But

734
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:50,479
Speaker 1: but then the same time, I'm like, well that hurts

735
00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:52,480
Speaker 1: my feelings because why wouldn't you want to hold my hand?

736
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:54,600
Speaker 1: But like like that kind of like being intimate is

737
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:57,279
Speaker 1: like tough for him, So it's like but he knows

738
00:40:57,280 --> 00:40:58,759
Speaker 1: that I like that. But then at the same time,

739
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:00,440
Speaker 1: like a, I don't want them to be doing something

740
00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:03,239
Speaker 1: if you don't really like it or mean it. But

741
00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:04,680
Speaker 1: he's like, I don't know if he's trying to train

742
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:07,800
Speaker 1: something this kind of touch your love language that doesn't

743
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 1: for you as touch touches my number one? And then

744
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:17,040
Speaker 1: words and then what is his acts of service and affirmations? Okay,

745
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:20,719
Speaker 1: and do you find when you lean into those more

746
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:25,560
Speaker 1: that he's more open And that's that kind of give

747
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:29,040
Speaker 1: give and give. That just sort of allows you because

748
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:31,120
Speaker 1: it doesn't it doesn't dawn on him if it's not

749
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:33,799
Speaker 1: his love language, it's not you know. I don't know

750
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:35,920
Speaker 1: his background, you know, but maybe he wasn't touched a

751
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:37,960
Speaker 1: lot as a child. There wasn't a lot of affection.

752
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:40,799
Speaker 1: He learned to go like an independent guy, completely sex

753
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:43,880
Speaker 1: from other people. I don't know, that's not an uncommon

754
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:48,480
Speaker 1: m scenario for someone who has difficulty with touch. But

755
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:51,319
Speaker 1: when you speak to him and his love language, all

756
00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:54,480
Speaker 1: of a sudden, he's often and then he's able to

757
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:58,439
Speaker 1: enter in or visert. Yeah. I mean, I really don't

758
00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:00,040
Speaker 1: want to be empty the dishwasher, but I know what

759
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:05,520
Speaker 1: I'm like mappy For years. A funny story, For years,

760
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:07,799
Speaker 1: my husband was doing acts of service for me all

761
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:09,560
Speaker 1: of the time, and it was like, that's fine, but

762
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:13,680
Speaker 1: you're kind of annoying, right. It wasn't my thing, but

763
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 1: it was his thing, and so we often do the

764
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:18,279
Speaker 1: thing that we want, right, So it wasn't till we

765
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:20,200
Speaker 1: finally figured it out. You know, this was years ago,

766
00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:22,879
Speaker 1: and it's like, I'm a touch girl and he's like, oh,

767
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:28,319
Speaker 1: that's not necessarily his thing. But he has found when

768
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:31,480
Speaker 1: he has taken effort to touch me that he can

769
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:36,480
Speaker 1: find his need for touch then too, Yeah, I'm words

770
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:41,040
Speaker 1: and touch, But when it comes to coffee, it's like,

771
00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:44,080
Speaker 1: I love you if you bring me coffee, that would

772
00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:48,360
Speaker 1: be an active service. Right. And then my girlfriend Katherine's

773
00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:49,839
Speaker 1: in the series, she hates me right now. But your

774
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:52,319
Speaker 1: what your love languages are are? What is it there?

775
00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:57,880
Speaker 1: It's gifts and right are we talking to? You know?

776
00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:00,400
Speaker 1: My my my girlfriend Katherine is in this studio with

777
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 1: means and so her love language is like is I

778
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:05,880
Speaker 1: think it's gifts and acts? Isn't it as s? And

779
00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:09,680
Speaker 1: her husbands is you know, touch and so they're so different,

780
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:11,080
Speaker 1: so it's like how do you meet in the middle

781
00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:15,440
Speaker 1: when when when they're completely opposite. But you know what's

782
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:18,400
Speaker 1: so kind of cool about it is you're kind of

783
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:21,600
Speaker 1: covering the whole range now. So in a way, your

784
00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:24,000
Speaker 1: love language is provisional for the other because if you've

785
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:26,799
Speaker 1: got some gifts going and access service going. You know.

786
00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:29,000
Speaker 1: The funny The funny thing is for women they always say,

787
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:31,080
Speaker 1: what's the love language? Is that your love language the

788
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:35,600
Speaker 1: one I'm not getting right now? But when you start,

789
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 1: when you have different ones, then you end up with

790
00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:40,960
Speaker 1: like more ways to love each other. Right, because if

791
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:43,800
Speaker 1: you have a couple that has the exact same love language,

792
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:50,160
Speaker 1: they'd never leave the house where they have the same one.

793
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:54,480
Speaker 1: They're usually different. And so that's good because it as

794
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:56,520
Speaker 1: the novelty, right because you know, if we have this

795
00:43:56,640 --> 00:44:00,400
Speaker 1: all figured out, we wouldn't stay interested, right. It's actually

796
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:05,759
Speaker 1: so my girlfriend has like incredible hair, and I just

797
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:07,719
Speaker 1: got my extensions taken out and I was like, what

798
00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:09,680
Speaker 1: do you like? How many extensions do you have in

799
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:10,880
Speaker 1: your hair? And she's like no, no, She's like, I

800
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:13,359
Speaker 1: take sugar bear hair and stop. I was like, I've

801
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:14,799
Speaker 1: seen that on your ads, but I didn't know if

802
00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:17,120
Speaker 1: it's like if it actually works or not, because you

803
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:20,480
Speaker 1: just never know. But yeah, she's like, they're fantastic. Little

804
00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:23,080
Speaker 1: like there they look like gummy bears. So she gave

805
00:44:23,080 --> 00:44:26,040
Speaker 1: me one. They taste fantastic. Um, they're actually the best

806
00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:31,520
Speaker 1: seller on Amazon. We're just like much vitamin A as

807
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:35,120
Speaker 1: four cups of prockerty, as much vitamin C as one

808
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:37,799
Speaker 1: cup of cranberries, and as much vitamin B twelve as

809
00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:42,399
Speaker 1: four organic eggs. Who. Yeah, it's um insane, I know,

810
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:45,160
Speaker 1: but it's also good for your nails and skin. Um,

811
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:47,960
Speaker 1: it helps the quality, but I just I don't know.

812
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:49,759
Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's great. Not only is

813
00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:52,439
Speaker 1: there good vitamins in there, but if keeping your hair healthy,

814
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:54,960
Speaker 1: because I've noticed, like as I'm getting older, my hair

815
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:57,719
Speaker 1: is like thinning out a little bit. I used to

816
00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:01,440
Speaker 1: have the thickest hair the planet, and I still have

817
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:05,880
Speaker 1: thick hair, but I've noticed also it becomes it starts

818
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:08,440
Speaker 1: to become dull, yeah, a little bit. And this is

819
00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:10,440
Speaker 1: going to keep it nice and pretty. You know what

820
00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:13,280
Speaker 1: I'm doing? Um, go to sugar Bear. Go to sugar

821
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:16,120
Speaker 1: bear hair dot com slash Janna for beautiful hair and

822
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:19,560
Speaker 1: a healthier you. That's sugar Bear Hair dot Com slash Jana,

823
00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:24,480
Speaker 1: sugar Bear Hair dot Com slash Jana. So do you

824
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:26,600
Speaker 1: have some pretty cool emails? Do you want to get

825
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:30,319
Speaker 1: them from? So we shot that we wearing base. By

826
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:33,840
Speaker 1: the way, I'm o recently from California, but I know

827
00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:37,680
Speaker 1: it's a Colorado seven years ago Range County goal. Okay,

828
00:45:37,719 --> 00:45:41,719
Speaker 1: so you your your practice is in Colorado? All right? Well,

829
00:45:41,719 --> 00:45:44,360
Speaker 1: if I'm ever in a dire needs situational, a situation

830
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:49,000
Speaker 1: like California, so, UM, I still online coat to California.

831
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:53,000
Speaker 1: Oh I love that. Yeah. Okay, so we have this

832
00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:57,080
Speaker 1: one direct message from Taylor UM and we're using fake

833
00:45:57,160 --> 00:46:00,600
Speaker 1: names because we didn't want to out any one with

834
00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:05,360
Speaker 1: their questions. What would be the definition of a healthy

835
00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:08,080
Speaker 1: sex life in a marriage? My husband wants to have

836
00:46:08,120 --> 00:46:12,279
Speaker 1: sex every single day, but with two kids, a full

837
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:15,880
Speaker 1: time job, we average about once a week, sometimes twice.

838
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:18,319
Speaker 1: Is that enough to keep a marriage healthy? We've been

839
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:23,239
Speaker 1: together for fourteen years and married for nine. That's a

840
00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:25,680
Speaker 1: great question. And do you know that's the number one

841
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:28,400
Speaker 1: reason couples comes to me is they have a difference

842
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:32,600
Speaker 1: and sexual desire. One is higher, one is lower, one

843
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:35,799
Speaker 1: once more than the other. And I have never met

844
00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:38,680
Speaker 1: a couple that wants to have sex all the time

845
00:46:38,719 --> 00:46:42,520
Speaker 1: at the same time, but we all do of trying to, like,

846
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 1: she wants it more and I want it last, and

847
00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:48,719
Speaker 1: it can't be a numbers game. A healthy sex is

848
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:51,760
Speaker 1: a couple that can come together and figure out their

849
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:54,960
Speaker 1: rhythm and have a way with each other that they

850
00:46:54,960 --> 00:47:04,440
Speaker 1: have consistent, mutually wanted, mutually pleasurable speriences. Consistent mutually wanted,

851
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:08,759
Speaker 1: mutually pleasurable experiences that we consider a sexless marriage. Get

852
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:12,320
Speaker 1: this between ten to fifteen times per year or last

853
00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:16,719
Speaker 1: a sexless marriage was, a sexless marriage is ten to

854
00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:22,719
Speaker 1: fifteen or less. So if you're having sex ten to

855
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:26,520
Speaker 1: fifteen times a year, that's a sexless marriage. It's a

856
00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:29,040
Speaker 1: little bit under the bar. It's a little bit of

857
00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:32,880
Speaker 1: the strain for most couples. But again, people have to

858
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:36,719
Speaker 1: find what works for them. But consistent, it's consistency is

859
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:41,240
Speaker 1: key because what happens when sex drops off I've noticed

860
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:43,640
Speaker 1: is that people get one, they get more prickly with

861
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:48,560
Speaker 1: each other, they get more defensive, less less open, and

862
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:51,799
Speaker 1: then they start getting avoidance. And the longer you go,

863
00:47:52,480 --> 00:47:56,319
Speaker 1: the more those things become heightened. Whereas if you're continuing

864
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 1: to have that bonding super glue, which is mutual sex

865
00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:04,759
Speaker 1: but really rich connecting um intimate experiences. And when I

866
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:07,400
Speaker 1: say mutually pleasurable, I'm not saying they even have to

867
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:10,320
Speaker 1: be mutually orgasmic. I'm saying people walk out of the

868
00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:13,239
Speaker 1: room and oh yeah, I would do that again. No,

869
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:15,200
Speaker 1: I get it. I mean like this is like t

870
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:17,120
Speaker 1: M I. But like you know, I said to my husband,

871
00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:19,600
Speaker 1: we have chickens every night, Um, do you know, uh,

872
00:48:19,719 --> 00:48:24,720
Speaker 1: Fanos chickens. Yeah, so we do that. It's it's feelings, affirmations,

873
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:30,800
Speaker 1: um needs uh own and then kind of like are

874
00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:33,839
Speaker 1: you know, whenever in the therapy, what he's doing for

875
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:36,600
Speaker 1: you know, his stuff and um. And one of my

876
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:40,800
Speaker 1: needs last night was, you know, lately like I haven't

877
00:48:40,840 --> 00:48:44,319
Speaker 1: felt like he's been intimate with me, and you know,

878
00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:45,840
Speaker 1: I'm starting to feel like a little bit of a

879
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:49,200
Speaker 1: strain um. And it's like because whenever he is an

880
00:48:49,239 --> 00:48:52,359
Speaker 1: intimate with me, like I soften like immediately, and then

881
00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:53,920
Speaker 1: I'm like I don't need like and then I'm like

882
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:55,359
Speaker 1: I'm good, you know what I mean, And I could

883
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:58,600
Speaker 1: be good for a week or two and then feels connected. Yeah,

884
00:48:58,680 --> 00:49:00,879
Speaker 1: and even like and he is the thing too again

885
00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:05,160
Speaker 1: a little tam I. But like even when I well

886
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:08,680
Speaker 1: me neither but um, like, even if I don't have

887
00:49:08,719 --> 00:49:11,080
Speaker 1: an orgasm, I'm like, I still feel connected. Like it's

888
00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:12,880
Speaker 1: still like it's great for me because I know that

889
00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:15,200
Speaker 1: I pleased him, but I still got I still felt

890
00:49:15,200 --> 00:49:17,400
Speaker 1: wanted and needed. So it's like I was, I'm happy

891
00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:20,640
Speaker 1: and it's not that he didn't, you know, my poor

892
00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:24,600
Speaker 1: mother in law right now, that's what's to t am

893
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:26,600
Speaker 1: I for my maybe father in law, my uncle roy

894
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:31,359
Speaker 1: who listens awesome, but it's like, you know, it's it's

895
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 1: just like I'm I'm okay even if I don't, because

896
00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:36,799
Speaker 1: it's still like still being intimate with him and like

897
00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:41,640
Speaker 1: having that connection with him. Right. I understand that, completely

898
00:49:41,719 --> 00:49:43,879
Speaker 1: understand that. And you know what, I don't worry about

899
00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:48,200
Speaker 1: your family. They know you're having sacks. I mean no, well,

900
00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:53,880
Speaker 1: I mean you well yeah, and or like my orgasm schedule,

901
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:57,680
Speaker 1: like orgas my uncle Royce, like sometimes I have to

902
00:49:57,680 --> 00:50:04,400
Speaker 1: close my ears. Yeah yeah. And so in answer to that,

903
00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:07,000
Speaker 1: you know what, what's healthy is every couple's got to

904
00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:10,279
Speaker 1: dissever it for themselves that that that that guideline of

905
00:50:10,480 --> 00:50:15,279
Speaker 1: mutually pleasurable, mutually wanted and consistent. And it's so much

906
00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:19,160
Speaker 1: harder in different life stages, and frankly, the one that

907
00:50:19,239 --> 00:50:22,239
Speaker 1: you're in now, and people who have young children or

908
00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:26,040
Speaker 1: they're in the child rearing stage is the very hardest,

909
00:50:26,040 --> 00:50:28,920
Speaker 1: not only on sexuality but on marriage in general. I

910
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:32,280
Speaker 1: kind of tell that the marriage trenches. Sometimes you're trying

911
00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:35,920
Speaker 1: to negotiate so much in this life stage and so

912
00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:38,920
Speaker 1: a lot of terms the sects becomes challenged and tense,

913
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:42,240
Speaker 1: and the guys are wondering where their wives ones because

914
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:44,920
Speaker 1: all of the emotionality and love is going towards children,

915
00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:47,920
Speaker 1: and they're like, oh right, uh, you know you have

916
00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:51,360
Speaker 1: needs to So it's a very complicated time to maneuver.

917
00:50:51,800 --> 00:50:56,120
Speaker 1: So how do you maneuver? Because I mean communicating, communication,

918
00:50:56,280 --> 00:51:00,320
Speaker 1: and then a willingness to be leaning into each other's

919
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:04,000
Speaker 1: needs and taking care of each other, and sometimes taking

920
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:08,280
Speaker 1: care of Mama is about giving Mama a break because

921
00:51:08,280 --> 00:51:11,440
Speaker 1: she's being pulled on and feels needed all the time,

922
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:14,440
Speaker 1: and she feels like a caregiver. And there's nothing really

923
00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:18,359
Speaker 1: um perspects the about feeling like a caregiver. Okay, I

924
00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:20,239
Speaker 1: agree with you, But then also at the same point,

925
00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:22,480
Speaker 1: like again, because I'm the one that wants more sex

926
00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:25,480
Speaker 1: in the marriage. But for me, it's like I don't

927
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:26,920
Speaker 1: want to just feel like a mom. I want to

928
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:28,880
Speaker 1: feel sexy. I want him to touch me and like

929
00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:31,439
Speaker 1: not just look at me like this is like mother

930
00:51:31,600 --> 00:51:33,560
Speaker 1: that birth to his children, you know. So it's like,

931
00:51:33,719 --> 00:51:36,120
Speaker 1: because you don't want to be seen as a caregiver

932
00:51:36,239 --> 00:51:38,200
Speaker 1: by him, do you want to be seen as his woman?

933
00:51:38,480 --> 00:51:43,279
Speaker 1: Like you want to be like paw mistress. Right, Yeah,

934
00:51:43,680 --> 00:51:46,480
Speaker 1: sometimes that gets hard for women when they're they are

935
00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:48,919
Speaker 1: caregiving all the time, they lose sight at that side

936
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:51,960
Speaker 1: of themselves. So that's cool that you are still hanging

937
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:54,320
Speaker 1: onto it and like, let me not be a mama,

938
00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:56,799
Speaker 1: let me, you know, step into you know, where I

939
00:51:56,800 --> 00:51:59,520
Speaker 1: can be touched and and be you know, the central

940
00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:03,320
Speaker 1: person that I am. But it's a lots in a

941
00:52:03,400 --> 00:52:05,440
Speaker 1: lot of manage in that in that life stage kind

942
00:52:05,480 --> 00:52:10,320
Speaker 1: of shifting gears. That's so hard. It is so hard.

943
00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:12,719
Speaker 1: It's rich, but it is hard, and you're in the heart,

944
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:16,000
Speaker 1: you know, and here you are pregnant again. Right wow.

945
00:52:16,719 --> 00:52:20,040
Speaker 1: I will say though, one thing that like is I

946
00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:22,000
Speaker 1: think probably the key and you've said this now a

947
00:52:22,040 --> 00:52:25,040
Speaker 1: couple of times too. It's just communication. Because if you're

948
00:52:25,040 --> 00:52:28,319
Speaker 1: not talking about your feelings or what's frustrating you or

949
00:52:28,360 --> 00:52:31,239
Speaker 1: what your needs are, it's like you're gonna if you're

950
00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:34,040
Speaker 1: not like communicating your needs in a healthy way, you're

951
00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:36,920
Speaker 1: going to go outside ways and it's it'll it'll be

952
00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:40,160
Speaker 1: over like a freaking lampshade not being turned off or

953
00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:42,359
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. You're absolutely right. And I

954
00:52:42,440 --> 00:52:47,080
Speaker 1: was married for sixteen years and I was a communicator

955
00:52:47,719 --> 00:52:51,560
Speaker 1: and he wasn't a communicator. And I continued to grow

956
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:55,080
Speaker 1: and grow and grow, and we got married very very young,

957
00:52:55,160 --> 00:53:00,200
Speaker 1: and he's sort of stayed in in you know that

958
00:53:00,880 --> 00:53:04,359
Speaker 1: in the twenties and occurring and learning how you know

959
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:07,280
Speaker 1: to go and tell and how to connect with themselves

960
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:12,120
Speaker 1: and learn how to communicate and absolutely communication, and then

961
00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:14,120
Speaker 1: most of us have a little bit of a learning

962
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:18,640
Speaker 1: curve around how to communicate about back right as that

963
00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:21,759
Speaker 1: no one, no one, no one, no one teaches you

964
00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:25,040
Speaker 1: how to communicate those needs. Now what honestly what happens

965
00:53:25,080 --> 00:53:27,080
Speaker 1: is Google and the internet teaches you have the bad

966
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:29,800
Speaker 1: stuff that you shouldn't be watching exactly, and this is

967
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:33,040
Speaker 1: why I do what I do. Yeah, yeah, she's like,

968
00:53:33,719 --> 00:53:36,479
Speaker 1: because hard to get freed it's hard to get freed

969
00:53:36,560 --> 00:53:38,680
Speaker 1: up and and feel permission to be able to like

970
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:41,719
Speaker 1: and what words do we use? And how does this go?

971
00:53:41,880 --> 00:53:43,920
Speaker 1: And do we do we wink? And is it non

972
00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:46,600
Speaker 1: verbal or do we learn how to like say the

973
00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:49,640
Speaker 1: words and you know, and say what you need and

974
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:52,160
Speaker 1: to discover what you need and for women to be

975
00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:55,799
Speaker 1: able to say it's okay that I want back it's true.

976
00:53:55,840 --> 00:53:59,520
Speaker 1: And I was just going to say, I'm now with somebody.

977
00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:03,960
Speaker 1: She announced that she finally has a boyfriend, but she

978
00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:06,319
Speaker 1: lied to me about it first. I know. I still

979
00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:09,120
Speaker 1: don't know why I did that, except that I wasn't.

980
00:54:09,280 --> 00:54:12,400
Speaker 1: I don't think I was ready to announce it on

981
00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:15,879
Speaker 1: the podcast. Sorry, I'm like, but it's just an open life.

982
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:19,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, it hasn't, and I'm okay with that

983
00:54:19,520 --> 00:54:22,359
Speaker 1: right now. Pardon me? Is this the official announcement right now?

984
00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:24,279
Speaker 1: Or is it then? Oh no, no, we announced it

985
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:26,120
Speaker 1: right before we got on the phone with you. It

986
00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:28,319
Speaker 1: was it was quite funny. You'll have to listen. I

987
00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:31,040
Speaker 1: was like, She's like, no, no, no, just a friend. Wait,

988
00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:33,839
Speaker 1: oh my god, I lied to you, Like like why?

989
00:54:35,560 --> 00:54:37,920
Speaker 1: But what I was going to say is he is

990
00:54:38,760 --> 00:54:45,600
Speaker 1: mature and older and communicates and makes me feel respected

991
00:54:45,719 --> 00:54:48,440
Speaker 1: and is super kind. So I'm able to communicate with

992
00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:53,120
Speaker 1: him and it is such a different experience, next level

993
00:54:54,080 --> 00:54:57,920
Speaker 1: and you know it's incredible. Can you tell me about

994
00:54:57,920 --> 00:55:01,399
Speaker 1: your box because I think it's so incredible. Um, what

995
00:55:01,480 --> 00:55:04,480
Speaker 1: you guys are doing? So excited about my box? It's

996
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:07,400
Speaker 1: called the Amazing en Amacy Box And here can you

997
00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:09,160
Speaker 1: send you I mean, I'll sign up for it too.

998
00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:11,279
Speaker 1: But I just I really like I would love that,

999
00:55:11,320 --> 00:55:15,640
Speaker 1: I think for couples that like need kind of help igniting. Yeah,

1000
00:55:15,719 --> 00:55:18,439
Speaker 1: and it's gonna be kind of a whole box, which

1001
00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:22,279
Speaker 1: means I'm bringing love, sex and you amazing lives to

1002
00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:25,480
Speaker 1: your doorstep with experiences that you can have together as

1003
00:55:25,480 --> 00:55:29,239
Speaker 1: a couple that are fun, that are essential because they've

1004
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:31,400
Speaker 1: got to have the love in a sex component. But

1005
00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:34,520
Speaker 1: I'm also going to be coasting you through with written

1006
00:55:34,560 --> 00:55:38,600
Speaker 1: materials to and super great products that are kind of

1007
00:55:38,640 --> 00:55:40,920
Speaker 1: left products that you would like to keep that doesn't

1008
00:55:41,080 --> 00:55:44,320
Speaker 1: that live beyond the one experience. UM. I have heard

1009
00:55:44,400 --> 00:55:47,560
Speaker 1: over and over how hard it is for people to prioritize,

1010
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:51,319
Speaker 1: carve out time, go on dates, nurture their relationship. And

1011
00:55:51,360 --> 00:55:54,200
Speaker 1: I just needed to make it easier for people because

1012
00:55:54,200 --> 00:55:55,920
Speaker 1: when it comes to your doorstep, and we're so that

1013
00:55:56,080 --> 00:55:58,320
Speaker 1: kind of culture now right, we can just get online

1014
00:55:58,320 --> 00:56:00,680
Speaker 1: and say order that when it comes to your door

1015
00:56:00,719 --> 00:56:03,319
Speaker 1: stuff and it shows up and it's all created for you.

1016
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:06,960
Speaker 1: Then I'm trying to eliminate obstacles and excuses so that

1017
00:56:07,040 --> 00:56:11,279
Speaker 1: you actually contrast make it happen. So it's monthly, it's

1018
00:56:11,320 --> 00:56:16,360
Speaker 1: starting out quarterly quarter and then hopefully moving from monthly. Um,

1019
00:56:16,440 --> 00:56:20,920
Speaker 1: it's because it started yet it is launching. The website

1020
00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:24,399
Speaker 1: is up. If you're interested the Amazing enemyctbox, you can say, yeah,

1021
00:56:24,480 --> 00:56:27,000
Speaker 1: keep me loosed in. It will be launching this fall,

1022
00:56:27,080 --> 00:56:29,600
Speaker 1: and I'm I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I will

1023
00:56:29,640 --> 00:56:34,440
Speaker 1: I'm himp that out like crazy, and the product, I'm

1024
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:37,320
Speaker 1: loving it. I'm super excited. And I will say I'm excited.

1025
00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:39,719
Speaker 1: I'm excited about that because so have you ever heard

1026
00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:42,840
Speaker 1: of the Love Dare? Yeah? Okay, so my husband I

1027
00:56:42,880 --> 00:56:45,600
Speaker 1: did that and then we got halfway through and then

1028
00:56:46,040 --> 00:56:49,000
Speaker 1: some stuff happened and we had to unfortunately take a

1029
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:51,120
Speaker 1: little break from it. But what I'm frustrated is is,

1030
00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:54,359
Speaker 1: and this is a question for you, how to help

1031
00:56:54,440 --> 00:56:56,800
Speaker 1: me with this? Is like I want to start it

1032
00:56:56,880 --> 00:56:59,000
Speaker 1: back up. I want to do things to like that,

1033
00:56:59,080 --> 00:57:02,480
Speaker 1: like strengthen and fun things for us to be intimate with.

1034
00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:06,080
Speaker 1: But I feel like he's like resistant to it or

1035
00:57:06,200 --> 00:57:08,439
Speaker 1: doesn't like make the time. It's like he makes time

1036
00:57:08,440 --> 00:57:10,360
Speaker 1: to go to his therapy sessions in this now, but

1037
00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:13,000
Speaker 1: he's like, but where's I mean? I know, like he's

1038
00:57:13,280 --> 00:57:15,120
Speaker 1: hate me for saying all this, but like, because I

1039
00:57:15,160 --> 00:57:18,120
Speaker 1: know he, I know he makes time for me, but

1040
00:57:18,200 --> 00:57:20,040
Speaker 1: I want to be able to do like fun things

1041
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:23,960
Speaker 1: that can help us together with intimacy stuff. Yes, and

1042
00:57:24,120 --> 00:57:26,920
Speaker 1: that's exactly what this is designed for. And here's my

1043
00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:30,000
Speaker 1: first scription. And people people get up sometimes they do

1044
00:57:30,120 --> 00:57:32,760
Speaker 1: their jow just kinds of drops. But here's my prescription

1045
00:57:32,800 --> 00:57:35,080
Speaker 1: for how much time we should be spending. We should

1046
00:57:35,120 --> 00:57:37,160
Speaker 1: have a date night a week, we should have a

1047
00:57:37,240 --> 00:57:40,800
Speaker 1: day together um every month, we should have a weekend

1048
00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:44,640
Speaker 1: away every quarter, and a week together away per year.

1049
00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:47,560
Speaker 1: And since no one ever does that, I thought, well,

1050
00:57:47,600 --> 00:57:50,680
Speaker 1: I better free to box. Yeah, I love you. It's

1051
00:57:50,720 --> 00:57:54,880
Speaker 1: basically I just can't wait. I'm so I'm so so

1052
00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:57,680
Speaker 1: so excited, and I just appreciate you doing this because

1053
00:57:57,720 --> 00:58:00,000
Speaker 1: this is the stuff. Like I honestly have looked online

1054
00:58:00,160 --> 00:58:02,760
Speaker 1: for things like this and I haven't found something that

1055
00:58:02,960 --> 00:58:05,520
Speaker 1: would be you know, beneficial for both of us. So

1056
00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:07,760
Speaker 1: I'm really looking forward to this box. This is not

1057
00:58:07,840 --> 00:58:10,240
Speaker 1: just another date box because I'm trying to give it

1058
00:58:10,280 --> 00:58:13,200
Speaker 1: some little sub yes, and that's because that I did

1059
00:58:13,200 --> 00:58:14,920
Speaker 1: see one of those and I'm like, okay, whatever, Like

1060
00:58:14,920 --> 00:58:16,880
Speaker 1: I don't want to play like Jima or like this

1061
00:58:16,960 --> 00:58:20,200
Speaker 1: like whatever. Was like, that's not what I want to do.

1062
00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:22,720
Speaker 1: I wanted to be like meaningful. Yeah, Jinger, I was

1063
00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:25,160
Speaker 1: Jinga and we did play it and we got it

1064
00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:27,280
Speaker 1: and I was like okay, but I was like okay, cool,

1065
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:29,680
Speaker 1: like this is something like yeah, I'm like I don't

1066
00:58:29,680 --> 00:58:31,760
Speaker 1: took off your top like we're not in high school,

1067
00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:35,400
Speaker 1: you know, like like like I like you were my husband,

1068
00:58:35,400 --> 00:58:38,240
Speaker 1: and I want to do something that's like yeah and

1069
00:58:38,240 --> 00:58:40,360
Speaker 1: and helps us and that can grow and that we

1070
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:42,439
Speaker 1: can maybe use some of these things for for later.

1071
00:58:42,560 --> 00:58:45,680
Speaker 1: So I'm so pumped. And thank you Leslie for being

1072
00:58:45,680 --> 00:58:47,919
Speaker 1: on the show and for being just a rock star

1073
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:51,160
Speaker 1: for couples that need need help. I thank you and

1074
00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:53,120
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you for having me on the show.

1075
00:58:53,120 --> 00:58:55,520
Speaker 1: And I hope it was helpful and enriching in some way.

1076
00:58:55,600 --> 00:59:00,080
Speaker 1: And yet and I have you on the show in

1077
00:59:00,360 --> 00:59:02,360
Speaker 1: because I really like you. I love it, and I

1078
00:59:02,600 --> 00:59:06,840
Speaker 1: thank you. Do I want to come meet you because please, yeah,

1079
00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:09,200
Speaker 1: that would be fine. When you were in California next

1080
00:59:09,240 --> 00:59:11,480
Speaker 1: please let us know because I want you here. I

1081
00:59:11,520 --> 00:59:13,280
Speaker 1: was actually bummed when I found out that you weren't

1082
00:59:13,280 --> 00:59:15,840
Speaker 1: going to be in studio and then we can actually

1083
00:59:15,880 --> 00:59:19,840
Speaker 1: do callers. Yeah yeah, okay, well then we're going to

1084
00:59:19,920 --> 00:59:23,680
Speaker 1: make that happen segment Part two with Leslie thank you

1085
00:59:23,720 --> 00:59:25,600
Speaker 1: so much. I love your other one you did with

1086
00:59:25,640 --> 00:59:28,880
Speaker 1: your husband that was so meaningful and so well his

1087
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:31,439
Speaker 1: ask will be here when you are in studio, so

1088
00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:36,800
Speaker 1: we'll will book dive real deep. Okay, yeah all right,

1089
00:59:36,800 --> 00:59:44,320
Speaker 1: thanks Leslie pleasure. I love her, she's I need her

1090
00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:48,360
Speaker 1: and um Michael and all of us in the studio.

1091
00:59:48,440 --> 00:59:50,760
Speaker 1: You know, we need her number and sun dial. Yeah

1092
00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:52,960
Speaker 1: we should. Would't that be fun? Like if like you

1093
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:58,600
Speaker 1: bring your boyfriend Catherine flying with nick group therapy that's

1094
00:59:58,600 --> 01:00:02,520
Speaker 1: more like therapy. It sounds like so much fun. But

1095
01:00:02,640 --> 01:00:05,240
Speaker 1: like her husband with like Nicka's like he loves therapy,

1096
01:00:05,280 --> 01:00:08,240
Speaker 1: so he would like he would love it. Your husband

1097
01:00:08,280 --> 01:00:11,800
Speaker 1: loves the love that he's I mean, you couldn't ask

1098
01:00:11,840 --> 01:00:16,520
Speaker 1: for anything better. Well, but you don't love it. I

1099
01:00:16,520 --> 01:00:19,360
Speaker 1: mean I like therapy alone, but a couple of therapy,

1100
01:00:19,480 --> 01:00:23,200
Speaker 1: I mean it can get really uncomfortable. It's hard when

1101
01:00:23,240 --> 01:00:25,000
Speaker 1: like you know, it's like not to like dive too

1102
01:00:25,080 --> 01:00:28,000
Speaker 1: much in the relationship because I'm like I know everything

1103
01:00:28,040 --> 01:00:30,320
Speaker 1: about them, but like it's hard when like, you know,

1104
01:00:30,920 --> 01:00:32,840
Speaker 1: she wants to more do it on you know, her

1105
01:00:32,880 --> 01:00:35,560
Speaker 1: own couples there, her own session when it's like it's hard,

1106
01:00:35,680 --> 01:00:38,800
Speaker 1: but it's just you know, marriage, you know, because you've

1107
01:00:38,800 --> 01:00:41,959
Speaker 1: been married for how long? Yeah, so that's like that's

1108
01:00:41,960 --> 01:00:44,000
Speaker 1: where I feel like you can kind of get in

1109
01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:45,400
Speaker 1: that not rotten. I'm saying, you guys are in a

1110
01:00:45,480 --> 01:00:48,600
Speaker 1: rot at all. But like she said, the young kids thing,

1111
01:00:48,720 --> 01:00:51,880
Speaker 1: you get into. You know, she's got three kids, three

1112
01:00:52,080 --> 01:00:56,360
Speaker 1: kids to five and nine, so it's like you look

1113
01:00:56,400 --> 01:01:00,560
Speaker 1: like two, she says, I keep saying five. Are you

1114
01:01:00,680 --> 01:01:03,160
Speaker 1: kidding me? I know, I'm not crazy. You have a

1115
01:01:03,280 --> 01:01:05,080
Speaker 1: nine year old, she's a nine year old. He was

1116
01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:07,520
Speaker 1: in like football, baseball, and then like Emmy or like

1117
01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:10,160
Speaker 1: her daughter is in like you know, cheer camp and

1118
01:01:10,200 --> 01:01:12,200
Speaker 1: like and then you know the two year old that's

1119
01:01:12,360 --> 01:01:15,280
Speaker 1: a few weeks younger than Jolie. It's just like, I mean,

1120
01:01:15,280 --> 01:01:17,640
Speaker 1: it's like that's where like for me, it sounds overwhelming,

1121
01:01:17,640 --> 01:01:19,560
Speaker 1: like yeah, like and then eleven years in a marriage,

1122
01:01:19,560 --> 01:01:22,720
Speaker 1: it's like it's almost like where it could get so

1123
01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:25,240
Speaker 1: like we were saying mundane and just like because her

1124
01:01:25,360 --> 01:01:28,320
Speaker 1: creatures of habits, like everybody goes to bed at eight,

1125
01:01:28,360 --> 01:01:31,360
Speaker 1: everybody gets up at six thirty. Everybody eats the same

1126
01:01:31,400 --> 01:01:34,160
Speaker 1: cereal for shopping this and that week cook But then

1127
01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:36,439
Speaker 1: it's then, you know, and then I think when she's

1128
01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:38,680
Speaker 1: starting to rese and other people that have are now

1129
01:01:39,240 --> 01:01:41,200
Speaker 1: those many years and it's like, Okay, now we have

1130
01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:43,560
Speaker 1: to do the work on the marriage, which is like

1131
01:01:43,760 --> 01:01:45,640
Speaker 1: hard when you haven't done it. Not that you haven't

1132
01:01:45,640 --> 01:01:47,120
Speaker 1: done it, I'm not saying that at all, but like

1133
01:01:47,360 --> 01:01:49,520
Speaker 1: when you like it's just like, oh crap, now, like

1134
01:01:50,560 --> 01:01:52,480
Speaker 1: now the kids are old, learned, now, our stuff is

1135
01:01:52,480 --> 01:01:56,480
Speaker 1: getting more like out there, you know, right, it's kind

1136
01:01:56,480 --> 01:02:01,640
Speaker 1: of blowing up. Yeah, and you're like and then you

1137
01:02:01,680 --> 01:02:04,400
Speaker 1: have to work, yeah, on top of yourself and you're like,

1138
01:02:04,400 --> 01:02:06,760
Speaker 1: can you just leave me alone? Yeah? And then when

1139
01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:08,920
Speaker 1: you look people have like different you know, when they

1140
01:02:08,920 --> 01:02:11,720
Speaker 1: have different love languages like that on top of it,

1141
01:02:11,720 --> 01:02:16,400
Speaker 1: it's like, holy moly, that's just therapy, very complicated, and

1142
01:02:16,440 --> 01:02:18,920
Speaker 1: that's why it's not easy and that's why not everybody

1143
01:02:18,960 --> 01:02:21,160
Speaker 1: can do it. So if you're doing it and you're

1144
01:02:21,160 --> 01:02:24,960
Speaker 1: in it and you're continuing to do it, if you're

1145
01:02:25,000 --> 01:02:28,440
Speaker 1: so much easier to walk away that are you kidding.

1146
01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:31,400
Speaker 1: It's so much easier to just say, like screw that.

1147
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:34,600
Speaker 1: But I love like I love that, you know people

1148
01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:36,840
Speaker 1: are fighting for it. I do too. And you know

1149
01:02:36,880 --> 01:02:39,400
Speaker 1: what I also love is stamps dot Com. Me too.

1150
01:02:39,560 --> 01:02:42,600
Speaker 1: So I just think it's great because after a long

1151
01:02:42,680 --> 01:02:46,720
Speaker 1: day of doing kids and cooking and it's just so

1152
01:02:46,840 --> 01:02:49,919
Speaker 1: convenient to be able to go on stamps dot com

1153
01:02:50,240 --> 01:02:54,000
Speaker 1: and get postage. Um you can buy in print real

1154
01:02:54,120 --> 01:02:57,240
Speaker 1: US postage for any letter or any package. It's available

1155
01:02:57,280 --> 01:02:59,360
Speaker 1: twenty four hours a day, which is like my favorite

1156
01:02:59,400 --> 01:03:01,280
Speaker 1: seven days of all you have to do is click

1157
01:03:01,520 --> 01:03:04,680
Speaker 1: print mail. You're done. It's fantastic. They even send you

1158
01:03:04,720 --> 01:03:06,400
Speaker 1: out a digital scale, so if you're not sure, like

1159
01:03:06,880 --> 01:03:10,240
Speaker 1: you know, if how much something weighs like, it's super easy.

1160
01:03:10,280 --> 01:03:13,200
Speaker 1: I mean, like this podcast, you can listen whenever you want,

1161
01:03:13,320 --> 01:03:16,280
Speaker 1: when it's convenient for you. So right now, use Janna

1162
01:03:16,400 --> 01:03:18,880
Speaker 1: for this special offer. It's a four week trial which

1163
01:03:18,880 --> 01:03:22,480
Speaker 1: includes postage and a digital scale, so don't wait. Go

1164
01:03:22,560 --> 01:03:25,680
Speaker 1: to stamps dot com before you do anything else. Click

1165
01:03:25,720 --> 01:03:27,720
Speaker 1: on the radio microphone at the top of the homepage

1166
01:03:27,720 --> 01:03:31,520
Speaker 1: and type in Janna that's stamps dot Com. Enter Janna

1167
01:03:31,680 --> 01:03:35,200
Speaker 1: Hey Easton do you mind reading? Um? When a couple

1168
01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:37,960
Speaker 1: of emails from our listeners, the one from Jessica about

1169
01:03:37,960 --> 01:03:42,760
Speaker 1: panic attacks, I would love to Yeah, all right, you're Janna.

1170
01:03:42,800 --> 01:03:45,240
Speaker 1: I'm obsessed with your podcasts. While I listened to the

1171
01:03:45,280 --> 01:03:47,760
Speaker 1: podcast today, I couldn't help but just want more and

1172
01:03:47,800 --> 01:03:50,600
Speaker 1: more when talking about anxiety, I went on anxiety meds

1173
01:03:50,640 --> 01:03:53,160
Speaker 1: last November and have struggled with panic attacks lately and

1174
01:03:53,200 --> 01:03:55,480
Speaker 1: I don't know what triggers them. I've tried using the

1175
01:03:55,520 --> 01:03:57,760
Speaker 1: Calm app to slow my breathing, but ultimately I end

1176
01:03:57,840 --> 01:04:04,560
Speaker 1: up resorting to prescribe benzo diazepians. Can you offer any insight? Okay?

1177
01:04:04,600 --> 01:04:08,760
Speaker 1: So yeah, Jen and I have anxiety. Um, Jessica, I'm

1178
01:04:08,760 --> 01:04:11,120
Speaker 1: sorry girl. It sucks. And sometimes it's so frustrating for

1179
01:04:11,160 --> 01:04:13,440
Speaker 1: me too, because it'll literally come out of nowhere and

1180
01:04:13,440 --> 01:04:15,120
Speaker 1: it's like, why am I having a panic attack. I'm

1181
01:04:15,160 --> 01:04:18,960
Speaker 1: not upset, I'm not on a freeway. I'm totally fine.

1182
01:04:19,040 --> 01:04:25,000
Speaker 1: But it's subconscious. Something is triggering you subconsciously and you

1183
01:04:25,480 --> 01:04:28,920
Speaker 1: end up having the anxiety. The anxiety builds because you

1184
01:04:28,960 --> 01:04:31,680
Speaker 1: start to get like, oh my god, why, why is

1185
01:04:31,720 --> 01:04:34,320
Speaker 1: this happening? What's going on? And then there you go

1186
01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:38,360
Speaker 1: full blown panic attack sucks. It does what else say? Though?

1187
01:04:38,360 --> 01:04:40,880
Speaker 1: That works for me? I have so I had some

1188
01:04:40,920 --> 01:04:44,160
Speaker 1: really bad PTSD from that abust of relationship that I

1189
01:04:44,200 --> 01:04:49,200
Speaker 1: was in a million years ago. But um, and so well,

1190
01:04:49,240 --> 01:04:52,480
Speaker 1: sometimes when I'm home alone, UM, obviously you always always

1191
01:04:52,560 --> 01:04:54,080
Speaker 1: look with me. But even if I'm like at a

1192
01:04:54,120 --> 01:04:57,880
Speaker 1: hotel somewhere and I'm on the road traveling, I'll still

1193
01:04:57,880 --> 01:04:59,520
Speaker 1: wake up at three o'clock in the morning with just

1194
01:04:59,600 --> 01:05:02,760
Speaker 1: like re really really bad anxiety. And what helps me,

1195
01:05:03,200 --> 01:05:06,640
Speaker 1: um is knowing that I have like Azanex in my

1196
01:05:06,720 --> 01:05:10,120
Speaker 1: first I rarely ever ever ever take it. It's just

1197
01:05:10,200 --> 01:05:12,120
Speaker 1: nice to know that. It's like care if. Yeah, it's

1198
01:05:12,120 --> 01:05:14,520
Speaker 1: like my security blanket. I always have my water to

1199
01:05:14,560 --> 01:05:17,000
Speaker 1: make sure that I'm you know, okay, I have have that.

1200
01:05:17,440 --> 01:05:20,360
Speaker 1: But then also like I'll lay in my bed and

1201
01:05:20,400 --> 01:05:23,320
Speaker 1: I do the UM like the four senses. So it's like,

1202
01:05:24,520 --> 01:05:26,360
Speaker 1: what have I not noticed in the room. So I

1203
01:05:26,360 --> 01:05:29,280
Speaker 1: start to look around, like the room, I'm like, okay, um,

1204
01:05:29,320 --> 01:05:31,640
Speaker 1: oh there's a crack in the like the door or

1205
01:05:31,720 --> 01:05:33,320
Speaker 1: and then it's like do I hear a sound? And

1206
01:05:33,440 --> 01:05:35,560
Speaker 1: like and so I start to listen to something. So

1207
01:05:35,600 --> 01:05:37,920
Speaker 1: I and then like another one is like smell um,

1208
01:05:37,960 --> 01:05:40,000
Speaker 1: and then the other one is I always like um,

1209
01:05:40,280 --> 01:05:42,880
Speaker 1: like I feel like touch something that's like okay this,

1210
01:05:43,400 --> 01:05:45,520
Speaker 1: and it gets me out of my panic because my

1211
01:05:45,560 --> 01:05:48,080
Speaker 1: mind is doing something else, right, because it pulls you

1212
01:05:48,160 --> 01:05:51,400
Speaker 1: into the moment. Yeah, in that way, because your anxiety

1213
01:05:51,480 --> 01:05:54,720
Speaker 1: comes from the unknown, and when you're in the unknown,

1214
01:05:54,760 --> 01:05:57,240
Speaker 1: you're thinking of the future, you're thinking of other things,

1215
01:05:58,200 --> 01:06:01,520
Speaker 1: and all of those things pull you right back. But

1216
01:06:01,560 --> 01:06:03,080
Speaker 1: it's still hard. I mean a bunt of times that

1217
01:06:03,120 --> 01:06:05,480
Speaker 1: I've called like the ambulance to come get me, or

1218
01:06:05,600 --> 01:06:08,880
Speaker 1: just to know that I wasn't like alone. It's it's

1219
01:06:08,960 --> 01:06:11,360
Speaker 1: so hard. But if you can try doing things like that,

1220
01:06:11,760 --> 01:06:15,800
Speaker 1: some people, um count I have a friend house, Like

1221
01:06:15,840 --> 01:06:18,040
Speaker 1: if you do the three by three and three out,

1222
01:06:18,080 --> 01:06:21,720
Speaker 1: so it's like one two three x hel three and

1223
01:06:21,760 --> 01:06:25,240
Speaker 1: that helps slow. But but it's it has taken me.

1224
01:06:25,680 --> 01:06:27,439
Speaker 1: It's taken me ten years to get to a place

1225
01:06:27,480 --> 01:06:30,040
Speaker 1: now where I mean, I'm still I still have panic attacks.

1226
01:06:30,080 --> 01:06:33,280
Speaker 1: I'm still on anxiety medicine, but I'm able to talk

1227
01:06:33,320 --> 01:06:36,160
Speaker 1: myself out two. And I also do this too. I

1228
01:06:36,200 --> 01:06:40,840
Speaker 1: always make sure someone has their phone on so like, um,

1229
01:06:40,920 --> 01:06:43,040
Speaker 1: I'll be like hey, you know if my guitar player,

1230
01:06:43,040 --> 01:06:44,720
Speaker 1: I'll say, hey, can you do mind just keeping your

1231
01:06:44,720 --> 01:06:46,520
Speaker 1: phone on so that if I do call you, so

1232
01:06:46,560 --> 01:06:48,160
Speaker 1: I know that if it's three o'clock in the morning,

1233
01:06:48,480 --> 01:06:51,160
Speaker 1: I can call and he would pick up. He would

1234
01:06:51,160 --> 01:06:53,760
Speaker 1: be there if I needed to be like okay, and

1235
01:06:53,760 --> 01:06:55,400
Speaker 1: then usually I'm fine, and then like even if he

1236
01:06:55,400 --> 01:06:57,480
Speaker 1: did answer it like okay, I'm fine, Like sorry, I

1237
01:06:57,560 --> 01:06:59,800
Speaker 1: just needed to make sure someone was there. So just

1238
01:07:00,080 --> 01:07:02,040
Speaker 1: try to get things that work for you. But just

1239
01:07:03,040 --> 01:07:05,080
Speaker 1: it just it's going to take time and give yourself

1240
01:07:05,120 --> 01:07:10,240
Speaker 1: some grace. That's great advice, really is now it is.

1241
01:07:10,280 --> 01:07:12,480
Speaker 1: And you know what I've started doing with Rocco in

1242
01:07:12,520 --> 01:07:15,760
Speaker 1: the morning just he doesn't he does not have anxiety.

1243
01:07:15,840 --> 01:07:19,200
Speaker 1: But this morning actually started it. This morning I ordered

1244
01:07:19,240 --> 01:07:26,040
Speaker 1: a mindfulness game pack. Great, it's so much fine coloring, well,

1245
01:07:26,120 --> 01:07:29,520
Speaker 1: this one was it's an activity every day. So this

1246
01:07:29,600 --> 01:07:32,880
Speaker 1: morning he started off. He woke up. He sleeps with me,

1247
01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:37,240
Speaker 1: so he was like, good morning, Mama. It's the cutest.

1248
01:07:37,320 --> 01:07:40,800
Speaker 1: He's so cute. And I said, listen, before we get

1249
01:07:40,800 --> 01:07:43,680
Speaker 1: out of bed, before we do anything, I want you

1250
01:07:43,720 --> 01:07:48,200
Speaker 1: to take three three count three breaths. So he did

1251
01:07:48,280 --> 01:07:51,000
Speaker 1: the deep breathing for three you know, a three com breath,

1252
01:07:51,760 --> 01:07:53,920
Speaker 1: and then he was like, oh, I feel so good.

1253
01:07:54,440 --> 01:07:58,760
Speaker 1: And it's like instilling those little tools even when they're

1254
01:07:58,760 --> 01:08:01,000
Speaker 1: that young, when they don't even know what they're doing,

1255
01:08:01,840 --> 01:08:09,040
Speaker 1: is incredible. It's almost like a what's that called when meditation? Yeah? Absolutely?

1256
01:08:09,600 --> 01:08:11,840
Speaker 1: All right? Is the next one? Alright? This is from

1257
01:08:11,960 --> 01:08:15,160
Speaker 1: Jana Lynn. My question is about how you deal with

1258
01:08:15,240 --> 01:08:17,160
Speaker 1: mom guilt when it comes to having a career that

1259
01:08:17,200 --> 01:08:19,000
Speaker 1: you love while trying to raise kids and keep a

1260
01:08:19,040 --> 01:08:21,720
Speaker 1: relationship with your husband. I have two little boys, three

1261
01:08:21,800 --> 01:08:23,800
Speaker 1: years old and nine months old. I'm about to go

1262
01:08:23,840 --> 01:08:25,960
Speaker 1: through a major career change in August, which I'm so

1263
01:08:26,000 --> 01:08:28,080
Speaker 1: excited about that it will take me away from my

1264
01:08:28,120 --> 01:08:30,559
Speaker 1: family more often. My husband is struggling with the thought

1265
01:08:30,600 --> 01:08:33,280
Speaker 1: of balancing his own career and adding more responsibility to

1266
01:08:33,320 --> 01:08:35,080
Speaker 1: the kids, and all of this is causing me some

1267
01:08:35,200 --> 01:08:39,519
Speaker 1: major mom guilt. She heard. I mean, it's hard having

1268
01:08:39,560 --> 01:08:41,760
Speaker 1: like a career and it's hard. I mean, I'll say

1269
01:08:41,800 --> 01:08:44,719
Speaker 1: this like, you know, something that to keep in mind,

1270
01:08:44,840 --> 01:08:47,000
Speaker 1: Like for example, like my girlfriend Catherine is out here

1271
01:08:47,000 --> 01:08:50,760
Speaker 1: with me, she's got three kids at home. She you know,

1272
01:08:50,800 --> 01:08:52,519
Speaker 1: when we but when we you know, she's away from

1273
01:08:52,600 --> 01:08:56,679
Speaker 1: them right now, but when she comes home on Friday,

1274
01:08:56,880 --> 01:08:58,960
Speaker 1: she's going to make sure on Saturday that she's putting

1275
01:08:58,960 --> 01:09:01,920
Speaker 1: those kids down asleep, like she's making what is it,

1276
01:09:02,040 --> 01:09:05,400
Speaker 1: mindful time like you're making because I had asked, like, hey,

1277
01:09:05,439 --> 01:09:07,519
Speaker 1: let's all do like a couple of things that night,

1278
01:09:07,520 --> 01:09:09,160
Speaker 1: and you're like, well, I can't because I have to.

1279
01:09:09,160 --> 01:09:11,000
Speaker 1: I want to put my kids down like I haven't

1280
01:09:11,040 --> 01:09:13,240
Speaker 1: seen them. And it's like you're making the time to

1281
01:09:13,360 --> 01:09:16,040
Speaker 1: like it's given. Take Yeah, when you know you're gonna

1282
01:09:16,040 --> 01:09:17,720
Speaker 1: be gone, then I'm gonna, you know, I'm going to

1283
01:09:17,840 --> 01:09:20,200
Speaker 1: make sure that I'm there for the next couple of nights.

1284
01:09:20,560 --> 01:09:23,480
Speaker 1: It doesn't always happen that way with my career, unfortunately,

1285
01:09:23,560 --> 01:09:25,800
Speaker 1: but I try to as much as I can. Yeah,

1286
01:09:25,840 --> 01:09:28,519
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, it's hard. I was just in New

1287
01:09:28,600 --> 01:09:31,760
Speaker 1: York for a week and I got back and I

1288
01:09:31,840 --> 01:09:33,840
Speaker 1: was I was supposed to go to an event. I

1289
01:09:33,880 --> 01:09:36,919
Speaker 1: got back on Friday. I was supposed to go Pickrockle

1290
01:09:37,000 --> 01:09:40,479
Speaker 1: up from camp, bring him home, have a babysitter comover,

1291
01:09:40,640 --> 01:09:43,720
Speaker 1: and go to an event that night. And then they

1292
01:09:43,800 --> 01:09:45,800
Speaker 1: just got home right and at the last minute, I

1293
01:09:45,840 --> 01:09:48,400
Speaker 1: was like I can't do it. I just can't do it.

1294
01:09:48,400 --> 01:09:51,559
Speaker 1: It's not fair to him, it's not fair to me. Well,

1295
01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:54,320
Speaker 1: and you're putting that added stress on you too. Things.

1296
01:09:54,320 --> 01:09:57,120
Speaker 1: So it's like if you can schedule, like make sure

1297
01:09:57,160 --> 01:09:58,960
Speaker 1: because I'll do this too, Like, well, I don't want

1298
01:09:58,960 --> 01:10:01,080
Speaker 1: to be more than four days because then I'm gonna

1299
01:10:01,200 --> 01:10:03,120
Speaker 1: then I'm gonna startist dress out. My work is going

1300
01:10:03,160 --> 01:10:05,880
Speaker 1: to suffer because of it, um, and then I'm gonna

1301
01:10:05,920 --> 01:10:08,400
Speaker 1: miss my child and then you know, I then I'm

1302
01:10:08,439 --> 01:10:10,720
Speaker 1: gonna probably take it out on my husband or take

1303
01:10:10,760 --> 01:10:12,840
Speaker 1: it out on somebody else that's like with me at

1304
01:10:12,840 --> 01:10:15,599
Speaker 1: the time. And and then also making time for your

1305
01:10:15,640 --> 01:10:17,760
Speaker 1: partner a spouse to on top of all that is

1306
01:10:17,800 --> 01:10:19,760
Speaker 1: really hard because you have your career of your kids

1307
01:10:19,760 --> 01:10:21,920
Speaker 1: and then husband. But really your husband should be in

1308
01:10:21,960 --> 01:10:24,880
Speaker 1: the top of that, right oh god first, but yeah,

1309
01:10:24,920 --> 01:10:26,200
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, and then you know the

1310
01:10:26,280 --> 01:10:28,599
Speaker 1: order yeah yeah, yeah, how but I mean it should

1311
01:10:28,600 --> 01:10:30,559
Speaker 1: be like your relationship because that's the core, and then

1312
01:10:30,640 --> 01:10:32,360
Speaker 1: you know your kids, and then you know the job

1313
01:10:32,400 --> 01:10:35,479
Speaker 1: and stuff. So it's like, yeah, it's listened, but it's

1314
01:10:35,520 --> 01:10:37,720
Speaker 1: a lot. It's a lot, and it's not easy and

1315
01:10:37,960 --> 01:10:41,160
Speaker 1: you know, I work really early in the morning, so

1316
01:10:41,280 --> 01:10:43,320
Speaker 1: I don't get to drop rock O off at school.

1317
01:10:43,960 --> 01:10:46,559
Speaker 1: I have a nanny in the morning, and once in

1318
01:10:46,600 --> 01:10:49,920
Speaker 1: a while I will on a Friday, I'll drop him

1319
01:10:49,920 --> 01:10:52,280
Speaker 1: off at school and come in a little bit later.

1320
01:10:53,160 --> 01:10:57,000
Speaker 1: But I was feeling really guilty about that. But I

1321
01:10:57,040 --> 01:10:59,439
Speaker 1: always picked them up from school, so there was a

1322
01:10:59,479 --> 01:11:02,240
Speaker 1: trade you know, there was this trade off that was great,

1323
01:11:02,360 --> 01:11:04,640
Speaker 1: but you know, you just have to get over it.

1324
01:11:04,720 --> 01:11:06,519
Speaker 1: Last night, I had a meeting at three o'clock. I

1325
01:11:06,560 --> 01:11:09,040
Speaker 1: couldn't pick him up from camp, and I had to

1326
01:11:09,040 --> 01:11:11,240
Speaker 1: have the In the whole way to the meeting, I

1327
01:11:11,360 --> 01:11:13,200
Speaker 1: kept thinking, oh, I feel so bad. I should be

1328
01:11:13,200 --> 01:11:15,000
Speaker 1: picking him up from camp. I was just in New

1329
01:11:15,040 --> 01:11:18,640
Speaker 1: York last week. And then maybe like sorry, I know

1330
01:11:18,680 --> 01:11:20,559
Speaker 1: I just cut you off, but maybe then have like

1331
01:11:20,560 --> 01:11:22,880
Speaker 1: a great weekend with him, like just time with him.

1332
01:11:23,000 --> 01:11:25,439
Speaker 1: That's what we're doing. And when I got home he

1333
01:11:25,600 --> 01:11:30,559
Speaker 1: was fine, So fine us. But I would also say,

1334
01:11:30,760 --> 01:11:36,360
Speaker 1: learn when to say no and your work with your

1335
01:11:36,400 --> 01:11:39,519
Speaker 1: friends with like that's the hardest thing for me. You know,

1336
01:11:39,640 --> 01:11:42,599
Speaker 1: it's like I don't have to go to this event.

1337
01:11:43,000 --> 01:11:44,680
Speaker 1: It would probably be good if I did, but I

1338
01:11:44,720 --> 01:11:46,760
Speaker 1: don't have to, and right now it's more important for

1339
01:11:46,800 --> 01:11:48,760
Speaker 1: me to be home or I really want to see

1340
01:11:48,760 --> 01:11:51,200
Speaker 1: my friends, but I did see them last week. It's

1341
01:11:51,200 --> 01:11:52,840
Speaker 1: going to be okay if I say no and I

1342
01:11:52,920 --> 01:11:56,760
Speaker 1: just stay home. You're lest important because we're putting all

1343
01:11:56,800 --> 01:11:59,320
Speaker 1: that pressure on ourselves and it's hard to say no.

1344
01:11:59,680 --> 01:12:01,639
Speaker 1: And you want to be good at everything. You want

1345
01:12:01,640 --> 01:12:04,880
Speaker 1: to be a good friend, a good wife, a good employee,

1346
01:12:05,040 --> 01:12:09,080
Speaker 1: you know all of that. Then want to yeah, exactly

1347
01:12:09,880 --> 01:12:14,360
Speaker 1: and have ten Danny's yeah, no, but I mean just

1348
01:12:15,080 --> 01:12:17,240
Speaker 1: that was that was good Catherine and both of you guys,

1349
01:12:17,360 --> 01:12:21,559
Speaker 1: just making you know, being okay, saying no and just

1350
01:12:21,680 --> 01:12:26,879
Speaker 1: giving yourself grace. So start practicing no, no, no, no,

1351
01:12:26,720 --> 01:12:29,679
Speaker 1: no no sorry no um. But thank you guys again

1352
01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:32,320
Speaker 1: for sending in your emails, and we're going to get

1353
01:12:32,360 --> 01:12:35,799
Speaker 1: to you know, all these other ones on future episodes.

1354
01:12:36,080 --> 01:12:38,160
Speaker 1: If you have any questions for Janet all, you can

1355
01:12:38,200 --> 01:12:40,400
Speaker 1: just send her an email at Jannet Kreamer at i

1356
01:12:40,479 --> 01:12:42,880
Speaker 1: hurt Media dot com. Easy as that, and I can't

1357
01:12:42,880 --> 01:12:46,200
Speaker 1: wait to help you out. So Hello, Fresh has become

1358
01:12:46,240 --> 01:12:49,680
Speaker 1: mine and my husband's absolute favorite obsession. I get so

1359
01:12:49,760 --> 01:12:52,160
Speaker 1: excited because when I come home and I'm like, oh,

1360
01:12:52,160 --> 01:12:55,000
Speaker 1: thank gosh, there's a Hello Fresh package at my door,

1361
01:12:55,720 --> 01:12:58,480
Speaker 1: and it's just so nice because I feel like I'm

1362
01:12:58,520 --> 01:13:00,920
Speaker 1: I feel like Michael and I like our biggest thing

1363
01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:03,000
Speaker 1: is like, oh god, what's her dinner? Oh? I don't

1364
01:13:03,000 --> 01:13:05,000
Speaker 1: want to grow the grocery store, okay, Like, and especially

1365
01:13:05,080 --> 01:13:06,760
Speaker 1: I do not like going to the grocery store with

1366
01:13:06,840 --> 01:13:09,120
Speaker 1: Drolling because she just like wants to everything. It's just

1367
01:13:09,200 --> 01:13:12,720
Speaker 1: way too much. Um, he goes with her, but it's

1368
01:13:12,760 --> 01:13:16,080
Speaker 1: just for me. I'm not that good with coming up

1369
01:13:16,080 --> 01:13:18,599
Speaker 1: with recipes or ideas or how to Really I need

1370
01:13:18,640 --> 01:13:21,600
Speaker 1: something that's very simple and planned out for me. And

1371
01:13:21,640 --> 01:13:23,800
Speaker 1: that's why I love Hello Fresh. Each box is made

1372
01:13:23,880 --> 01:13:27,960
Speaker 1: up with fresh, responsibly obtained ingredients from carefully selected farms

1373
01:13:27,960 --> 01:13:31,240
Speaker 1: and high rated, trusted sources. Um, it's nice not having

1374
01:13:31,320 --> 01:13:33,960
Speaker 1: to plan dinner spending money on take out. I mean, seriously,

1375
01:13:34,000 --> 01:13:36,400
Speaker 1: the amount of money I spent on Postmates is stupid.

1376
01:13:36,800 --> 01:13:39,000
Speaker 1: So I just that's why I'm like obsessed with Hello

1377
01:13:39,080 --> 01:13:42,559
Speaker 1: Fresh because they're good meals. I make them with my

1378
01:13:42,640 --> 01:13:46,160
Speaker 1: husband or he makes them. It's it's amazing. It's just

1379
01:13:46,240 --> 01:13:48,760
Speaker 1: spend less time meal planning and grocery shopping each week

1380
01:13:48,800 --> 01:13:50,720
Speaker 1: and get that time back to do more of what

1381
01:13:50,880 --> 01:13:53,120
Speaker 1: you love, which is hanging out with my family. So

1382
01:13:53,200 --> 01:13:55,599
Speaker 1: for thirty dollars off your first week of Hello Fresh,

1383
01:13:55,760 --> 01:13:58,280
Speaker 1: visit Hello Fresh dot com slash claimer thirty and enter

1384
01:13:58,360 --> 01:14:01,559
Speaker 1: Creamer thirty. That's Hello Fresh dot com slash Cramer thirty

1385
01:14:01,760 --> 01:14:04,360
Speaker 1: and enter Cramer thirty for thirty dollars off your first

1386
01:14:04,400 --> 01:14:07,719
Speaker 1: week of Hella Fresh Hello Fresh dot com slash Cramer thirty,

1387
01:14:07,880 --> 01:14:12,400
Speaker 1: Enter Cramer thirty. I love today's episode. It was so

1388
01:14:12,520 --> 01:14:15,960
Speaker 1: much fun. Yeah, thanks Catherine for popping in on. Thanks

1389
01:14:16,000 --> 01:14:19,120
Speaker 1: for happening. You're welcome. Um, like you'relcome um No, but

1390
01:14:19,400 --> 01:14:21,920
Speaker 1: this is really fun. It's um it's nice to talk

1391
01:14:21,960 --> 01:14:26,439
Speaker 1: to an actual specialist about things, you know. She was fantastic. Yeah,

1392
01:14:26,439 --> 01:14:28,160
Speaker 1: I really liked Trilla. I want her in the studio

1393
01:14:28,760 --> 01:14:33,719
Speaker 1: with all of our husbands and significant others UM group therapy.

1394
01:14:33,880 --> 01:14:36,280
Speaker 1: I want Easton's wife to come into because I want to, like,

1395
01:14:37,280 --> 01:14:39,599
Speaker 1: I want to get y'all's dynamic. That would be awesome too.

1396
01:14:43,439 --> 01:14:47,000
Speaker 1: I want to be amazing UM. And of course I'm

1397
01:14:47,040 --> 01:14:49,759
Speaker 1: super excited that Michael and I are having a little boy.

1398
01:14:50,040 --> 01:14:55,680
Speaker 1: So it's but um I love you guys, and I

1399
01:14:55,720 --> 01:15:05,120
Speaker 1: am so excited to wind down again next week. Oh