WEBVTT - 443. How to be more interesting 0:00:04.600 --> 0:00:08.000 Hello everybody, I'm Jemma Spake and welcome back to the 0:00:08.000 --> 0:00:11.320 Psychology of Your Twenties, the podcast where we talk through 0:00:11.360 --> 0:00:16.040 the biggest changes, moments, and transitions of our twenties and 0:00:16.079 --> 0:00:26.280 what they mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back 0:00:26.320 --> 0:00:29.680 to the show. Welcome back to the podcast. It is 0:00:29.960 --> 0:00:33.680 so great to have you here back for another episode 0:00:33.800 --> 0:00:38.200 as we of course break down the psychology of your twenties, 0:00:38.320 --> 0:00:43.159 My twenties, our twenties. Just a reminder, this episode and 0:00:43.320 --> 0:00:47.599 all of our other episodes are now on Netflix, so 0:00:48.159 --> 0:00:50.680 if you're somebody who likes video podcast, this is the 0:00:50.720 --> 0:00:53.840 place to go for full transparency. This is a new 0:00:53.840 --> 0:00:57.040 thing for Netflix as well, and we would love for 0:00:57.160 --> 0:01:00.600 them to hopefully ask us to do another season, So 0:01:00.640 --> 0:01:03.080 if you haven't checked it out, if it's something that 0:01:03.160 --> 0:01:06.959 interests you, our full video episodes are now over there. 0:01:07.120 --> 0:01:10.840 Now is the time. It really does help me and 0:01:10.880 --> 0:01:14.000 the podcast out, so I'd really appreciate it. But let's 0:01:14.000 --> 0:01:17.480 get into the episode today. I am bringing you all 0:01:17.600 --> 0:01:20.800 a classic how to episode. I do these every now 0:01:20.840 --> 0:01:24.520 and again for topics that kind of aren't unified by 0:01:24.520 --> 0:01:29.240 a singular psychological concept or explanation. Or theory, but they 0:01:29.280 --> 0:01:31.880 have so much depth to them that they deserve their 0:01:31.920 --> 0:01:35.720 own category of episode. We've done how to avoid settling 0:01:35.720 --> 0:01:39.080 in your twenties, how to manage your anxiety about the future, 0:01:39.920 --> 0:01:41.800 how to do hard things, how to get out of 0:01:41.840 --> 0:01:46.040 a funk, how to anything, And today we are doing 0:01:46.600 --> 0:01:49.920 my favorite so far, a personal topic I cannot shut 0:01:50.000 --> 0:01:53.200 up about, which is how to be more interesting. There 0:01:53.320 --> 0:01:58.320 was a very famous journal paper published in the journal 0:01:58.400 --> 0:02:03.320 Nature last year talking about how in our digital age, 0:02:03.360 --> 0:02:08.440 people are increasingly bored and increasingly boring, and a consequence 0:02:08.480 --> 0:02:11.200 of how much time we spend online is that we 0:02:11.240 --> 0:02:15.560 are all very slowly losing our distinct personalities. Nobody is 0:02:15.600 --> 0:02:20.640 interesting anymore, nobody is different, nobody is special. Maybe you 0:02:20.680 --> 0:02:23.120 feel that way about yourself, that you're not as interesting 0:02:23.600 --> 0:02:27.240 even in your own mind, you aren't entertaining yourself as much, 0:02:27.240 --> 0:02:29.799 you're not fascinated by yourself, that maybe you've lost a 0:02:29.800 --> 0:02:33.280 little bit of dimension to your personhood and your personality. 0:02:33.720 --> 0:02:35.560 I want to say, you are not alone. And today 0:02:35.600 --> 0:02:38.720 we are going to examine why you are feeling that way. 0:02:39.160 --> 0:02:45.040 Why our current environments plural are creating a standardization of thought, 0:02:45.720 --> 0:02:50.359 interest of personalities and the very best things you can 0:02:50.400 --> 0:02:57.160 do psychologically, socially, neurologically to become a more interesting person, 0:02:57.600 --> 0:03:02.560 someone who people feel inexplicably drawn to and excited by 0:03:02.720 --> 0:03:05.760 and invested in, and also how to become more interesting 0:03:06.160 --> 0:03:10.320 to yourself as well. It is a big episode without 0:03:10.360 --> 0:03:17.680 further ado, let's get into it. So the first question, 0:03:18.600 --> 0:03:21.720 and also I guess the hardest question to answer, what 0:03:22.000 --> 0:03:28.399 actually makes somebody interesting? What intrigues us psychologically as humans 0:03:28.480 --> 0:03:31.640 and as people and as a species. The thing is 0:03:32.639 --> 0:03:36.400 whether somebody is interesting or not operates on two kind 0:03:36.440 --> 0:03:40.720 of levels, or two planes. The first level is highly 0:03:40.760 --> 0:03:45.040 subjective and it's based on our own preferences. Somebody talking 0:03:45.440 --> 0:03:49.240 all day about football might be the most boring thing 0:03:49.280 --> 0:03:53.520 in the world to you. Counting rice would be more fun, 0:03:54.160 --> 0:03:57.400 but it would be endlessly interesting to others. I love 0:03:57.440 --> 0:03:59.960 talking about sports, but every time I do, I can 0:04:00.160 --> 0:04:02.160 see that my friends are probably a little bit bored 0:04:02.160 --> 0:04:05.120 by it. It's not as interesting to them. And it 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:07.520 works the other way. Somebody could have the coolest job 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:10.280 in the world, but you just can't bring yourself to 0:04:10.320 --> 0:04:14.600 be interested or to care because personally, like you're not 0:04:14.680 --> 0:04:17.520 invested in that you just your brain doesn't light up 0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:20.320 in the same way. But there is a difference between 0:04:20.480 --> 0:04:27.600 being subjectively interested in someone and someone being objectively interesting 0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:32.520 as an individual and people who have that special source, 0:04:33.480 --> 0:04:39.159 that special something. It transcends everything external. It transcends things 0:04:39.240 --> 0:04:43.560 like a job, It transcends hobbies, stories, appearance, and it 0:04:43.600 --> 0:04:46.080 comes from a deeper place, meaning that I guess, no 0:04:46.080 --> 0:04:48.920 matter what they talk about, who they're around, whether they 0:04:48.960 --> 0:04:50.719 have the most tedious job in the world or the 0:04:50.720 --> 0:04:55.279 most interesting there is. And we all know somebody like this, 0:04:55.360 --> 0:05:00.280 there is something about them that still draws people in 0:05:00.560 --> 0:05:03.960 based on their character, based on how they hold themselves. 0:05:04.040 --> 0:05:06.440 It's like a little bit of their soul is just 0:05:06.560 --> 0:05:10.200 like on fire. Okay, So what is that factor made 0:05:10.279 --> 0:05:12.680 up of? What is that objective factor? How do we 0:05:12.720 --> 0:05:16.799 identify it? Firstly, the most interesting people in the world 0:05:16.880 --> 0:05:19.960 are those who are actually interested in others. They go deep, 0:05:20.279 --> 0:05:23.880 They have a genuine curiosity about you. They find the 0:05:23.920 --> 0:05:29.760 world fascinating. In fact, twenty one study had eighteen hundred 0:05:29.760 --> 0:05:33.600 participants talk to each other in pairs. People who were 0:05:33.600 --> 0:05:36.279 given a list of deeper questions to ask about the 0:05:36.400 --> 0:05:41.520 other person. The other individual actually found them more interesting 0:05:42.160 --> 0:05:44.599 as a partner. They came off as more enjoyable to 0:05:44.640 --> 0:05:47.200 be around. People felt like they wanted to know more 0:05:47.240 --> 0:05:51.279 about them purely because of the questions and the depth 0:05:51.360 --> 0:05:54.840 they were going too with the person they were sitting 0:05:54.920 --> 0:05:58.159 across from. I think the reason for this is that 0:05:58.440 --> 0:06:01.200 this kind of behavior is so rare. It's so rare 0:06:01.200 --> 0:06:04.039 to find somebody who's genuinely interested in other people. Also, 0:06:04.200 --> 0:06:07.599 their questions, their interest in us leaves a bit of 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:11.279 a disclosure gap where we're talking more about ourselves, we're 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:15.240 sharing more, and so they kind of remained mysterious peaking 0:06:15.320 --> 0:06:21.120 our interests. Crucially, people who are interested in others, I 0:06:21.160 --> 0:06:24.359 also think they ask questions to understand. They ask questions 0:06:24.839 --> 0:06:27.440 not just to debate or assert their views, but because 0:06:27.480 --> 0:06:31.400 they are genuinely curious and they want to expand their worldview. 0:06:31.720 --> 0:06:37.320 They ask questions because that is just valuable to them. 0:06:37.360 --> 0:06:41.239 Whatever answer you give them, they don't care. It's endlessly 0:06:41.279 --> 0:06:43.680 fascinating because of the way that you've answered it and 0:06:43.720 --> 0:06:45.400 because it's probably different to the way that they would 0:06:45.440 --> 0:06:48.160 answer it. And that means that also when they go 0:06:48.200 --> 0:06:51.200 and have conversations with others, they contribute to a greater 0:06:51.360 --> 0:06:53.960 and deeper level. There was this guy I used to 0:06:53.960 --> 0:06:56.039 work with when I worked in consulting, and he would 0:06:56.040 --> 0:07:00.479 ask these like piercing questions, questions you would never expect 0:07:00.920 --> 0:07:04.400 to be asked, questions that probably nobody has been asked 0:07:04.440 --> 0:07:07.599 before in the history of humanity. And I remember we 0:07:07.600 --> 0:07:11.600 were like collectively just so fascinated by him, because someone 0:07:11.600 --> 0:07:13.880 who is able to get that information out of people, 0:07:13.920 --> 0:07:16.120 because you would answer him, you would tell him all 0:07:16.120 --> 0:07:18.800 this stuff about you, he must have some pretty good 0:07:18.800 --> 0:07:21.160 stories of his own to tell if he can get 0:07:21.200 --> 0:07:24.400 that kind of level of intimacy with somebody, even just 0:07:24.440 --> 0:07:28.119 like completely casually. Also, I think the reason these people 0:07:28.120 --> 0:07:31.440 are interesting is because we simply like talking about ourselves. 0:07:32.200 --> 0:07:34.760 The interested person is interesting because they get us to 0:07:34.760 --> 0:07:37.640 talk about our favorite topic, and we kind of confuse 0:07:38.280 --> 0:07:41.200 talking with that and enjoying that with enjoying them. They 0:07:41.320 --> 0:07:44.520 become more interesting. And it also means that they're often 0:07:44.640 --> 0:07:48.720 very good conversationalists, even if they say very little, and 0:07:48.760 --> 0:07:53.920 they are great unifiers. Even in a group conversation. Someone 0:07:54.080 --> 0:07:59.000 interesting can almost effortlessly bring everyone out of their shells 0:07:59.240 --> 0:08:02.840 if needed. Here everybody's point of view. It doesn't look 0:08:02.880 --> 0:08:08.600 like a strain they create At times, this like collective 0:08:09.240 --> 0:08:14.480 conversational flow state for us to sit in. We are 0:08:14.520 --> 0:08:18.360 also drawn to people who are not just interested in us, 0:08:18.400 --> 0:08:21.800 but feel very authentically themselves. That's the second thing that 0:08:21.840 --> 0:08:26.280 makes someone interesting. The reason for this is threefold. Firstly, 0:08:26.520 --> 0:08:29.480 we implicitly believe that for someone to be that secure 0:08:29.520 --> 0:08:32.040 in themselves, they must have reasons to back it up. 0:08:32.360 --> 0:08:35.040 There must be some deep personal well that they are 0:08:35.120 --> 0:08:38.800 drawing from that gives them this dimension and depth and confidence. 0:08:39.320 --> 0:08:42.240 This makes us very interested in discovering what that is, 0:08:42.360 --> 0:08:44.960 What are they relying on, where does their self esteem 0:08:44.960 --> 0:08:47.960 come from, and why is it so amazing. Secondly, we 0:08:48.000 --> 0:08:52.080 find them interesting because our natural levels of curiosity just 0:08:52.600 --> 0:08:57.640 generally go up when we feel psychologically safe. Being around 0:08:57.800 --> 0:09:02.000 someone secure is a catalyt for that feeling. The reason 0:09:02.040 --> 0:09:04.320 for this is that we know that someone who is 0:09:04.440 --> 0:09:08.679 genuine and authentic and just kind and confident in themselves 0:09:08.760 --> 0:09:11.840 is a lot less likely to need to discredit or 0:09:11.840 --> 0:09:15.600 put others down to feel good about themselves. People like us, therefore, 0:09:16.120 --> 0:09:20.400 we just can kind of relax. Finally, I think we 0:09:20.480 --> 0:09:25.880 find authentic people interesting because some small part of us 0:09:26.760 --> 0:09:29.640 probably wants to be like them. We see their ease, 0:09:29.800 --> 0:09:33.359 we see their confidence, we see their lack of embarrassment, 0:09:33.360 --> 0:09:35.320 we see their good stories, we see their depth, and 0:09:35.360 --> 0:09:37.600 we think, oh my god, how do I get that? 0:09:37.640 --> 0:09:40.760 I want to be on that level? And this spurs 0:09:40.800 --> 0:09:44.000 our interest in them. Almost is like a case study, 0:09:44.559 --> 0:09:47.040 Like they are a blueprint for how we can become 0:09:47.160 --> 0:09:50.200 like that and how we can improve ourselves. So interesting 0:09:50.240 --> 0:09:54.520 people are interested. They're authentic. Another thing that defines interesting 0:09:54.559 --> 0:09:58.640 people is that they just do stuff. They play outside, 0:09:59.000 --> 0:10:04.240 they make things, They adventure, They put their creative ideas 0:10:04.240 --> 0:10:07.080 out there, even if it's not perfect. They go to 0:10:07.160 --> 0:10:11.120 things alone, they travel alone. I was going to try 0:10:11.160 --> 0:10:13.439 and find like a more complex term to describe this, 0:10:13.640 --> 0:10:15.640 and I was like looking in my psychology dictionary and 0:10:15.640 --> 0:10:17.760 I was like, what's the word for this? But really, 0:10:17.800 --> 0:10:19.920 like they just do stuff is the best way I 0:10:19.920 --> 0:10:22.360 can put it. These days, like they fill their days, 0:10:22.400 --> 0:10:26.200 they fill their lives. They play the game of life. Well, 0:10:26.840 --> 0:10:29.760 they're just an act of participant in their lives. The 0:10:29.800 --> 0:10:33.680 next factor that makes people objectively interesting is that they're 0:10:33.679 --> 0:10:37.920 not just authentic. They are a little bit different. There's 0:10:37.920 --> 0:10:41.240 something odd about them. Odd in the positive way. There's 0:10:41.280 --> 0:10:44.360 something divergent about them, as we would say, literally like 0:10:44.400 --> 0:10:48.920 the movie, They're divergent, Like our attraction and our gravitation 0:10:49.160 --> 0:10:52.240 towards these kind of people is driven particularly by like 0:10:52.280 --> 0:10:56.320 an instinctual love for novelty. The same kind of person 0:10:56.360 --> 0:10:58.880 with the same personality, doing the same thing, shopping the 0:10:58.880 --> 0:11:02.040 same places over an over again, It just gets kind 0:11:02.040 --> 0:11:05.320 of boring after a while. Someone who stands apart from that, 0:11:05.720 --> 0:11:09.840 as an outlier, gets our brain paying attention because they 0:11:09.880 --> 0:11:16.839 deviate from an expected pattern that immediately spikes interest neurologically, psychologically, 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:22.120 and especially socially. Now, our appreciation for these kinds of 0:11:22.120 --> 0:11:29.040 individuals tends to increase as we get older. Unfortunately, as 0:11:29.320 --> 0:11:32.600 children and as teenagers were very cruel to divergent thinkers, 0:11:32.840 --> 0:11:36.959 we're very cruel to divergent or different personality types because 0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:40.400 at that age, you know, group conformity and group allegiance 0:11:40.520 --> 0:11:43.040 just feels so important when we're children, when we're kids, 0:11:43.080 --> 0:11:46.400 when we're trying to fit in. I still think they'd 0:11:46.400 --> 0:11:51.280 get the final word. I truly believe, truly, the weirdest 0:11:51.360 --> 0:11:56.520 kids always become the most interesting adults, always because they 0:11:56.520 --> 0:11:59.040 have formed their identity purely on vibes and purely on 0:11:59.120 --> 0:12:03.360 natural enjoyment a lot rather than external validation, and they 0:12:03.400 --> 0:12:07.480 probably had to go through some really difficult experiences to 0:12:07.559 --> 0:12:10.719 get there, Like they get bullied for years, they get excluded, 0:12:11.559 --> 0:12:14.600 only for people to turn around in their twenties and 0:12:14.600 --> 0:12:18.440 thirties and realize, like how insanely rare it is to 0:12:18.559 --> 0:12:22.240 have genuine interest and love for things, and how insanely 0:12:22.320 --> 0:12:25.720 rare it is to have a truly individual, unique personality. 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:30.199 Like they totally get the final word. Honestly, I was 0:12:30.240 --> 0:12:32.120 a weird kid. I think I'm an interesting adult. Not 0:12:32.160 --> 0:12:34.480 to toot my own own if you are this way, 0:12:34.559 --> 0:12:36.960 confirm my theory for me. If you're a weird kid, 0:12:37.040 --> 0:12:39.880 do you think that you are an above average interesting adult? 0:12:40.800 --> 0:12:43.160 Yes or no? I think the answer is yes. I 0:12:43.160 --> 0:12:45.319 want to run my own experiment. DM me if this 0:12:45.440 --> 0:12:48.839 applies to you, to take this a step further, though, 0:12:48.840 --> 0:12:53.000 because this is anecdotal, science does back up the fact 0:12:53.040 --> 0:12:57.280 that being eccentric, being different can actually have health and 0:12:57.320 --> 0:13:01.320 lifestyle benefits to beyond just being interested. There's this man 0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:04.319 called David Weeks. He's a psychiatrist. He's the author of 0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:08.120 the book eccentrics a Study of sanity and strangeness. He 0:13:08.160 --> 0:13:11.440 conducted a ten year study on a thousand people who 0:13:11.520 --> 0:13:16.160 we would describe as eccentric. These people that was trying 0:13:16.200 --> 0:13:17.760 to think about some of the people he interviewed that 0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:21.319 was like an indigenous man who walked everywhere backwards. There 0:13:21.320 --> 0:13:24.520 were these two Californian people who believed they could hypnotize frogs, 0:13:24.520 --> 0:13:26.920 people who were a little bit out there. What he 0:13:27.000 --> 0:13:32.200 discovered is that his subjects suffered less from mental illnesses 0:13:32.240 --> 0:13:37.040 such as depression than the majority of the population. Fewer 0:13:37.080 --> 0:13:42.080 than thirty percent had ever abused drug or drugs or alcohol. 0:13:42.360 --> 0:13:47.240 He also found that eccentrics visited the doctor twenty times 0:13:47.320 --> 0:13:51.839 less often than the average person, and on average, they 0:13:51.880 --> 0:13:55.240 lived longer. Yeah, they were all more interesting. Were they 0:13:55.280 --> 0:13:58.600 also healthier? He said, Yes, we have to be careful 0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:02.480 here victually things with like when we say they didn't 0:14:02.520 --> 0:14:05.720 visit the doctor as much, you know, another explanation for 0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:08.720 that could be that these people weren't healthier, they just 0:14:08.880 --> 0:14:13.280 were more skeptical of let's say, Western medicine, more skeptical 0:14:13.320 --> 0:14:17.240 of like the system. They weren't less mentally unwell, they 0:14:17.320 --> 0:14:20.720 just weren't being diagnosed because of that skepticism, like we 0:14:20.840 --> 0:14:23.720 have to search for other explanations here because there are some. 0:14:24.440 --> 0:14:28.560 But Weeks. Doctor Weeks attributed these findings, which are impressive, 0:14:28.560 --> 0:14:31.440 I have to say, regardless of why, to the benefits 0:14:31.440 --> 0:14:34.920 of nonconformity. He said, it's a health. It's a health plus. 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:39.280 Those who don't repress their inner nature in the struggle 0:14:39.360 --> 0:14:44.240 to conform, they suffer less stress. Consequently, they are happier, 0:14:44.680 --> 0:14:49.000 their immune systems work more efficiently. They suffer less from 0:14:49.040 --> 0:14:53.800 the psychological pressures and the psychological cost of self silencing 0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:58.320 and self abandonment, meaning they have more fulfilling emotional lives, 0:14:59.160 --> 0:15:04.720 therefore and again allowing them to be interesting and expansive 0:15:04.840 --> 0:15:09.200 as people because their authenticity is nurtured. Whether they do 0:15:09.240 --> 0:15:11.240 that for others or just for themselves, they probably do 0:15:11.280 --> 0:15:13.800 it for themselves. It doesn't matter. They're just more interesting. 0:15:14.680 --> 0:15:18.520 The final thing all interesting people do that's important to 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:24.480 know is that they energize others. Maybe that's through stories, 0:15:24.840 --> 0:15:29.479 maybe it's through accomplishments. Maybe it's through their passion, their individuality, 0:15:29.520 --> 0:15:32.680 their self comfort. It doesn't matter. Whatever it is, it 0:15:32.760 --> 0:15:37.600 is undeniable that interesting people bring a force for life 0:15:38.400 --> 0:15:43.440 into any room they enter. They make others like want 0:15:43.480 --> 0:15:46.800 to learn more, want to do better, not through shame, 0:15:46.880 --> 0:15:50.280 not through comparison, not through judgment, but through expansion. And 0:15:50.320 --> 0:15:52.840 I think that is the most crucial element of their character. 0:15:52.920 --> 0:15:55.840 Even if they're not nice people, the way they operate 0:15:55.920 --> 0:15:57.760 is still a bit of a human experiment, and in 0:15:57.800 --> 0:16:01.320 this way they become expanders. This is an idea that 0:16:01.400 --> 0:16:05.520 I'm stealing from my friend Aerophiles Substack. It's called crystal clear. 0:16:06.160 --> 0:16:08.640 This thing that she talks about is expanders and she 0:16:08.760 --> 0:16:11.480 says we all need at least three people in our 0:16:11.520 --> 0:16:14.840 lives who expand our sense of what's possible simply through 0:16:14.840 --> 0:16:17.640 the way they live. And she was basically asking me, 0:16:17.720 --> 0:16:20.080 you know who my three people were, Like, who are 0:16:20.080 --> 0:16:22.280 the three people that expand me? And this is so 0:16:22.400 --> 0:16:26.240 crucial because without these individuals in your life, the limits 0:16:26.240 --> 0:16:29.280 that you place on yourself are going to naturally be 0:16:29.400 --> 0:16:34.040 lower because the example hasn't been set. You cannot dream 0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:37.320 bigger than what you see in some ways, and it's 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:39.920 sometimes hard to be around people who are more accomplished 0:16:39.960 --> 0:16:43.720 than us because our ego is naturally very self protective. 0:16:44.360 --> 0:16:48.320 Our ego is very cautious of situations that could lessen 0:16:48.360 --> 0:16:52.920 our self esteem. But the outcome of being around expanders, 0:16:53.160 --> 0:16:57.680 being around interesting people is a greater sense of what 0:16:57.840 --> 0:17:01.160 is possible within our own lives, greater confidence that we 0:17:01.200 --> 0:17:04.360 can achieve what we want, and that's at its call, 0:17:04.440 --> 0:17:08.320 what's special about these kinds of people. So the next 0:17:08.400 --> 0:17:11.920 big question is if this is what makes somebody interesting, 0:17:12.960 --> 0:17:17.040 why are interesting people becoming harder to find? Why are 0:17:17.040 --> 0:17:21.000 we all becoming more boring? Like that Nature article kind 0:17:21.040 --> 0:17:24.760 of accused us of becoming We're going to talk about 0:17:24.760 --> 0:17:27.920 that break down the three critical factors that are maybe 0:17:27.920 --> 0:17:31.600 making me boring, definitely making me boring after this short break. 0:17:37.880 --> 0:17:40.439 So I have a few explanations for you as to 0:17:40.520 --> 0:17:44.040 why we're becoming less interesting. But the biggest one is 0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:49.240 that the environments that we are in allow for less choice, 0:17:49.280 --> 0:17:52.879 and that is forcing all of us to become quite homogeneous, 0:17:53.400 --> 0:17:58.640 therefore less unique, therefore less interesting. Increasingly, we are all 0:17:58.680 --> 0:18:02.960 being funneled towards the same things, trends and viral content. 0:18:03.280 --> 0:18:06.200 Whether you know it or not, they and I think 0:18:06.200 --> 0:18:08.439 you do, they are advising us. They are influencing you 0:18:08.480 --> 0:18:11.719 and what to buy what to enjoy, what movies to watch, 0:18:11.960 --> 0:18:15.239 what to eat, Hello, to buy chocolate. So we all 0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:17.400 kind of end up operating in identical ways, and that 0:18:17.800 --> 0:18:20.680 restricts our ability for divergence. We shop at the same 0:18:20.720 --> 0:18:24.199 handful of stores because independent stores can't afford to be 0:18:24.240 --> 0:18:28.080 in business. We stream the same shows because that's what 0:18:28.160 --> 0:18:31.520 we see other people watching, and that's the things that 0:18:31.560 --> 0:18:34.240 the studios. You know, the studios only make so many 0:18:34.280 --> 0:18:36.800 things that they know will be hits. Now we listen 0:18:36.840 --> 0:18:40.040 to the same songs that an algorithm pushes on us, 0:18:40.119 --> 0:18:43.720 or more likely a label has decided are worth pushing 0:18:43.840 --> 0:18:46.640 because the artist is the next big thing. We eat 0:18:46.640 --> 0:18:50.040 it the same chains because small indie restaurants can't operate. 0:18:50.320 --> 0:18:52.280 We use the same apps because they're the ones that 0:18:52.280 --> 0:18:58.520 are functional. We even start speaking in the same language 0:18:59.040 --> 0:19:02.720 that we've absorbed from social media. That sounds unique, but 0:19:02.800 --> 0:19:05.479 it's not brain rot languages, I think is what they 0:19:05.520 --> 0:19:08.600 call it. It's this deep irony that the Internet has 0:19:08.640 --> 0:19:13.280 promised us infinite choice, infinite ideas, personalities, but has reduced 0:19:13.280 --> 0:19:17.399 our ability for complexity and for originality. There is actually 0:19:17.400 --> 0:19:21.639 an economic term for this. It's called global homogenization. The 0:19:22.080 --> 0:19:26.080 psychological way of describing it though, is like social and 0:19:26.119 --> 0:19:34.520 behavioral convergence. So basically, as our environments, influencers, context become identical, 0:19:35.119 --> 0:19:39.280 we all start acting the same, meaning that the idea 0:19:39.320 --> 0:19:42.840 of niche things that are different don't really exist anymore. 0:19:43.440 --> 0:19:47.919 There was this really amazing BBC article written back in 0:19:47.960 --> 0:19:52.200 twenty fourteen that described this in terms of the expansion 0:19:52.240 --> 0:19:57.359 of global brands and how brands like Starbucks, McDonald's, like 0:19:57.400 --> 0:20:00.679 all of those have started eliminating distinct cultures. And the 0:20:00.720 --> 0:20:03.360 author of this article, his name is Mark Pagel. He 0:20:03.480 --> 0:20:06.120 used the example of Starbucks, and he talks about how 0:20:06.240 --> 0:20:08.640 countries used to have their own coffee chains, their own 0:20:08.640 --> 0:20:11.560 ways of consuming caffeine. Cities used to have their own 0:20:11.600 --> 0:20:14.840 coffee houses and roasters that were unique to them. Towns 0:20:14.960 --> 0:20:19.600 used to have the independent local joint. Now you go 0:20:19.640 --> 0:20:22.480 to Tokyo, New York, Sydney, Mexico City, you get the 0:20:22.520 --> 0:20:26.080 same cappuccino, the same you know march or cherry frape. 0:20:26.600 --> 0:20:31.320 We all become united or shaped by these few things 0:20:31.320 --> 0:20:34.240 that have enough power or have enough money to influence us. 0:20:34.640 --> 0:20:36.879 When we used to have different experiences, the way we 0:20:36.960 --> 0:20:38.600 drank coffee, the way we ate food, the way we 0:20:38.680 --> 0:20:42.600 dressed used to be different. The rise of AI has 0:20:42.640 --> 0:20:45.720 also prompted some people to be even more worried about this, 0:20:46.359 --> 0:20:51.720 particularly due to something called the standardization of thought. Basically, 0:20:52.880 --> 0:20:55.920 the more we rely on these tools which have been 0:20:55.960 --> 0:20:59.040 programmed in a specific way, coded in a specific way, 0:20:59.560 --> 0:21:02.240 design in a specific way to give us a certain answer, 0:21:02.800 --> 0:21:06.960 use a certain language, use an identical way of forming ideas, 0:21:07.119 --> 0:21:10.159 rely on specific sources and inputs, all of which are 0:21:10.200 --> 0:21:12.480 the same for all of us, the more we all 0:21:12.520 --> 0:21:18.399 start thinking, speaking, communicating, structuring arguments, structuring ideas in identical ways. 0:21:19.040 --> 0:21:22.040 There was this amazing article I just read from Columbia 0:21:22.080 --> 0:21:26.320 Business School released last year. It's titled AI is Making 0:21:26.359 --> 0:21:28.199 You Boring, so if you want to look it up, 0:21:28.280 --> 0:21:32.280 please do, and it talks about how a how dependency 0:21:32.280 --> 0:21:35.679 on AI is correlated to a reduction in creative and 0:21:35.760 --> 0:21:38.720 divergent thinking, which we know is a factor that makes 0:21:38.720 --> 0:21:42.320 somebody interesting, but that b The more we rely on 0:21:42.400 --> 0:21:45.800 AI to handle logistical things for us, so even if 0:21:45.840 --> 0:21:47.840 it's not creative stuff, but we ask it to choose 0:21:47.840 --> 0:21:51.440 a restaurant, plan our travel, itinerary, even get us from 0:21:51.480 --> 0:21:53.960 like a to b even to give us advice to 0:21:54.000 --> 0:21:56.760 help us make decisions. The more we rely on it 0:21:56.800 --> 0:21:59.880 for that logistical stuff, the more we become like everybody else. 0:22:00.000 --> 0:22:03.679 Because it is giving people the same answers. It is 0:22:03.680 --> 0:22:06.520 giving you answers based on data, not based on you 0:22:06.560 --> 0:22:09.680 as an individual. Doctor Matts and her team who wrote 0:22:09.680 --> 0:22:13.640 this article, they examined what happens when people delegate their 0:22:13.680 --> 0:22:17.760 everyday decisions to AI agents. They studied one hundred and 0:22:17.800 --> 0:22:22.560 ten thousand real world choices made by one thousand US 0:22:22.720 --> 0:22:28.000 social media users. They analyzed what people selected when acting 0:22:28.040 --> 0:22:31.440 on their own compared to what they selected when they 0:22:31.440 --> 0:22:34.920 were asking an AI agent to choose on their behalf 0:22:35.760 --> 0:22:38.879 or make a decision based on an AI prompt. The 0:22:38.960 --> 0:22:44.080 results showed using AI pushed people towards more popular, mainstream options. 0:22:44.640 --> 0:22:48.959 It reduced the distinctiveness of their behavior compared to others. 0:22:49.640 --> 0:22:54.320 In other words, over reliance on AI tended to average 0:22:54.359 --> 0:22:58.760 out human individuality. It just steered everybody towards the most 0:22:58.760 --> 0:23:04.680 statistically common or widely liked or repeated answer. It's why 0:23:04.720 --> 0:23:07.080 I am so insistent in my own life that I 0:23:07.119 --> 0:23:10.200 don't use AI for my decision making. I won't use 0:23:10.240 --> 0:23:12.840 it to think for me, regardless of how much time 0:23:12.840 --> 0:23:16.320 saving it is or how much efficiency it gives me. 0:23:16.960 --> 0:23:19.560 I would rather the friction of having to spend more 0:23:19.600 --> 0:23:22.880 time on things, or the possibility of choosing the wrong restaurant, 0:23:23.000 --> 0:23:25.480 or choosing the wrong place to visit, or making a 0:23:25.520 --> 0:23:28.919 bad choice. I'd rather that possibility than the certainty and 0:23:28.960 --> 0:23:32.600 the promise of losing myself and losing my uniqueness to 0:23:32.640 --> 0:23:36.280 a technology and becoming dependent on something that it's becoming 0:23:36.320 --> 0:23:41.000 increasingly evident is very cognitively and psychologically damaging. You know. 0:23:41.080 --> 0:23:43.199 The studies coming out on this are just shocking, and 0:23:43.200 --> 0:23:47.120 it really actually really scares me sometimes, especially when we're 0:23:47.119 --> 0:23:51.240 talking about being interesting and maintaining individuality. This is a 0:23:51.320 --> 0:23:53.760 huge threat. How can you be an individual person when 0:23:53.960 --> 0:23:56.439 every choice is made by a machine that tells everybody 0:23:56.480 --> 0:23:59.600 else to also make the same choice. Now, I've seen 0:24:00.119 --> 0:24:02.960 very interesting arguments that have said, because of this current 0:24:03.000 --> 0:24:08.119 technological and cultural climate, individuality is now becoming the status simple. 0:24:08.560 --> 0:24:12.040 When everybody is the same, everybody is converging around a norm. 0:24:12.680 --> 0:24:16.440 Good taste becomes increasingly rare, and it becomes increasingly interesting. 0:24:17.240 --> 0:24:21.000 It's also, as some thinkers believe, the most AI proof 0:24:21.080 --> 0:24:27.240 skill and asset. Genuine individual thought, genuine interest, genuine passion, 0:24:28.240 --> 0:24:32.640 genuine curiosity cannot be replaced by AI. So now more 0:24:32.680 --> 0:24:36.840 than ever, being interesting isn't just something that helps you socially. 0:24:37.400 --> 0:24:39.720 It isn't just something that maybe makes people more attracted 0:24:39.720 --> 0:24:43.439 to you or helps you in dating. It's important for 0:24:43.480 --> 0:24:45.800 you career wise to be an interesting person and to 0:24:45.840 --> 0:24:49.000 have a unique identity. However, I will say I think 0:24:49.000 --> 0:24:52.800 the final factor I would bring up is just a 0:24:52.840 --> 0:24:55.680 lot of us becoming less interesting because we are also 0:24:55.720 --> 0:24:58.800 becoming more time poor as well. That's making it harder 0:24:58.840 --> 0:25:01.800 for us to pursue the active is the interests, the hobbies, 0:25:02.080 --> 0:25:04.840 even the kind of deep thinking that makes us unique. 0:25:05.280 --> 0:25:08.640 This is also, interestingly, I think, what also drives us 0:25:09.040 --> 0:25:11.639 to rely on our algorithms and to rely on AI 0:25:11.760 --> 0:25:15.000