Speaker 1: Start here to become frugal in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to
Speaker 2: save money, embrace simplicity, and live your life here your
Speaker 2: hosts Jen and Jill.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen,
Speaker 1: my name is Jill, and today we are talking about
Speaker 1: the foundations of frugality, at least the frugality that we practice.
Speaker 3: It's we're calling it our frugal Manifesto, kind of everything
Speaker 3: we've come to believe about frugality jammed into forty five
Speaker 3: minutes A deep to help you a deep dive into
Speaker 3: modern frugality, which I do own the handle for that,
Speaker 3: so I feel like I.
Speaker 1: Can say you can say that, I can say that
Speaker 1: you want. So, yeah, that's what we're going to be
Speaker 1: talking about today. So, if you have maybe wanted to
Speaker 1: become frugal, but you're you know, kind of feels like
Speaker 1: an F word, frugality is not a dirty F word
Speaker 1: that so many people associate it with, and we are
Speaker 1: going to explain why today.
Speaker 3: But first, this episode is brought to you by good advice,
Speaker 3: just plain old good advice, like always having an extra
Speaker 3: roll of toilet paper, snacks and phone charge are nearby.
Speaker 3: There's just some things we need to take heat of,
Speaker 3: like this advice I'm about to give you. Keep your
Speaker 3: savings in a high yield savings account like the one
Speaker 3: I use at CIIT. I do actually keep my money
Speaker 3: there because they're great. They got a great aphy. They're
Speaker 3: an online bank, which means they can offer you the
Speaker 3: highest APY since they don't have the overhead of a
Speaker 3: brick and mortar bank, so you earn money on your
Speaker 3: money monthly. Frugal friendspodcast dot com, slash ci T. That's
Speaker 3: just plain old good advice. And you know what, I
Speaker 3: just had our friend Sam, who was our very first
Speaker 3: spending intervention guest on YouTube. If you've not seen those episodes,
Speaker 3: don't sleep on it. Go to YouTube Frugal Friends. The
Speaker 3: thumbnailing intervention is easy to identify Sam, and she was
Speaker 3: the one where we were like, is she too generous? Anyways,
Speaker 3: she just texted me this morning, Hey, what high old
Speaker 3: savings account do you use? And of course I sent
Speaker 3: her to CIT but also I should be chastising her
Speaker 3: for the fact that we didn't get her signed up
Speaker 3: for that a month ago. Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 1: Where we are people do the things that they need
Speaker 1: to do in their time. So it's fantastic.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I love that, Like I'm literally talking to
Speaker 3: friends about this, sending them these links. And you are
Speaker 3: my friend too, and I'm giving you good advice. Frugal friendspodcast,
Speaker 3: dot com, slash cid. Yes.
Speaker 1: So we wrote a book last year called Buy What
Speaker 1: you Love Without Going Broke, and it is the how
Speaker 1: to guide on how to spend money, how to find
Speaker 1: what you value, align your spending with it, and say
Speaker 1: no to what you don't, which is being a good
Speaker 1: steward of your financial resources. And we focused heavily on
Speaker 1: financial resources. We believe frugality goes beyond financial resources. So
Speaker 1: if you want to become frugal, this lifestyle isn't just
Speaker 1: a spending race to the bottom. It's not an obsession
Speaker 1: with spending or you know, an obsession with not spending.
Speaker 1: It is truly an obsession with life and stewarding resources. Well,
Speaker 1: so that's what we think frugal living is. We got
Speaker 1: to define it right off the top, and we believe
Speaker 1: frugal living is good stewardship of all of our finite resources,
Speaker 1: and that includes money, which our book buy what you
Speaker 1: love without going book really heavily emphasizes it's also about
Speaker 1: being a good steward of your time, your physical space,
Speaker 1: your mental energy, and your natural resources. And these are
Speaker 1: all finite resources in that you have what you have
Speaker 1: in the time that you have it right. You can't
Speaker 1: manifest more at any given second. You can always make
Speaker 1: more money, you can always declutter and create more space,
Speaker 1: or buy a bigger house and have more space, but
Speaker 1: what you have right now is what you have. The
Speaker 1: only one of these resources that is not like semi
Speaker 1: renewable or you can make more of is time. That
Speaker 1: one is completely finite. What you get is what you have,
Speaker 1: and you may have less of it than you think,
Speaker 1: you may have more of it than you think, but
Speaker 1: you ultimately can't control it either. So that's why we
Speaker 1: view time as highly, if not more highly than money.
Speaker 1: But really how we steward our time is dictated by
Speaker 1: our money. So those are our top ones.
Speaker 3: So when it comes to living frugally, well, we really
Speaker 3: want to emphasize the intersection of all of these different resources.
Speaker 3: So I know a lot of times when we traditionally
Speaker 3: think about frugality, we just think about the money aspect
Speaker 3: getting things for cheap, getting things for inexpensive, not hardly
Speaker 3: paying for nothing, And we are going to talk about
Speaker 3: how to get things for free. That is a part
Speaker 3: of this. But our version of frugality is really looking
Speaker 3: at all of these pieces money, time, physical space, mental energy,
Speaker 3: natural resources, that all of it matters to our well being,
Speaker 3: the well being of the relationships around us, our community,
Speaker 3: and when we kind of look at it with this
Speaker 3: larger lens, it actually makes the lifestyle super enjoyable, It
Speaker 3: makes it fun, attainable, it gives it longevity, and so
Speaker 3: it's one of the reasons why we also blend the
Speaker 3: term values based spending with frugality. Again, one of the
Speaker 3: things we talk about in our book By What You
Speaker 3: Love Without Going Broke a Bunch is leaning into what
Speaker 3: are the things that are bringing me the most joy
Speaker 3: and are connecting me more with the things that matter most,
Speaker 3: like family, friends, faith fulfilling work, doing those things more
Speaker 3: and in ways that are making the most of stewarding
Speaker 3: well all of the different resources that we've just described.
Speaker 3: That's the main focus. Then, of course, there's things that
Speaker 3: we spend on. There are ways that we do interact
Speaker 3: with money. There are ways that in order to manage
Speaker 3: our physical space well or our mental energy well, we
Speaker 3: will choose to spend. So when it comes to that
Speaker 3: aspect where money intersects with all other aspects of our personhood,
Speaker 3: we can run through this lens of how do we
Speaker 3: approach our spending decisions. And one of the things we've
Speaker 3: been loving to do with recent episodes and just in
Speaker 3: our own lives when it comes to spending money is
Speaker 3: filtering it through these questions how can I get it
Speaker 3: for free? How can I get it low cost, how
Speaker 3: can I get a deal? And how can I spend
Speaker 3: on it guilt free? And we feel like this framework
Speaker 3: is really helpful for making sure that we are stewarding
Speaker 3: our money well. But when we're asking these questions, and
Speaker 3: of course is going to intersect with all of our
Speaker 3: other resources because it will help us when we're thinking
Speaker 3: how do I get it for free, it's going to
Speaker 3: include community. Then that's going to be yeah, how am
Speaker 3: I stewarding my my mental energy, my time and my
Speaker 3: natural resource as well? So all of these questions intersect
Speaker 3: not just for the purpose of how can I get
Speaker 3: it as cheap as possible, but rather how can I
Speaker 3: make sure that I am taking care of everything that's
Speaker 3: been entrusted to me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So we're going to kind of dive into these questions,
Speaker 1: these filters and explain how they impact all areas of
Speaker 1: our resources as well. Again, in past episodes, we've kind
Speaker 1: of focused on the financial aspect, but there is a
Speaker 1: component of all of these resources in every financial decision
Speaker 1: we make, and so it's important to be able to
Speaker 1: identify that. So the first one, obviously is we prioritize
Speaker 1: getting what we need and what we want for free,
Speaker 1: and far, far and wide, the things we consume are
Speaker 1: wants versus needs. Sometimes we'll overrationalize something as a need
Speaker 1: because we think we are irresponsible if we spend on wants.
Speaker 1: But we can really transform how we make purchases, the
Speaker 1: amount we impulse spend, and really how we view spending
Speaker 1: and you know, guilt free spending, et cetera, if we
Speaker 1: view the appropriate purchases as wants versus needs. So there
Speaker 1: are some questions that we ask before we consume something.
Speaker 1: Before we acquire something, do I need it? Can I
Speaker 1: borrow it? This impacts our physical space because even if
Speaker 1: we can get it for free, doesn't mean we should
Speaker 1: get it for free. I know that is a big
Speaker 1: issue in a lot of households that consider themselves frugal,
Speaker 1: including mine. In my household, Travis, my husband cannot say no.
Speaker 3: If it's free, it's for me.
Speaker 1: I think he has said that he has that tattoo
Speaker 1: on his soul, and so it is it. It does
Speaker 1: create a difficulty because we have a finite amount of
Speaker 1: physical space at our house. So when you consume something
Speaker 1: for free, you are spending physical space. So you're always
Speaker 1: spending something when you consume, whether it is time, money,
Speaker 1: physical space, mental energy, or natural resources. Right, that's what
Speaker 1: we want you to really understand and take away from
Speaker 1: this episode and then give you the tools to filter
Speaker 1: to make sure that expenditure is worth it. So do
Speaker 1: I need it? Can I borrow it? That way, I
Speaker 1: have it and I can use it, but I can
Speaker 1: give it back? Can I trade for it? So there
Speaker 1: are these beautiful things called time banks around the country.
Speaker 1: We have one in Saint Pete. But you can Essentially
Speaker 1: traditional trading is like I have eggs, you have butter.
Speaker 1: Let's trade time banks. You don't have to trade for
Speaker 1: necessarily good. You can also trade for time and you
Speaker 1: can give so maybe I need something and that is
Speaker 1: worth four hours, and so then I would pay with
Speaker 1: four hours, and maybe I would pay for that giving
Speaker 1: two hours to somebody and two hours to somebody else.
Speaker 1: But the hours aren't necessarily strict hours. It also takes
Speaker 1: into consideration the level of physical or mental or you know,
Speaker 1: career effort involved. They have ways to figure that out,
Speaker 1: but it really is this kind of sharing, this trading
Speaker 1: economy for the modern age. And so that's obviously time
Speaker 1: banks are a you're spending with your time. Sometimes you're
Speaker 1: spending with your physical energy or mental energy, and so
Speaker 1: can I trade it or what can we share? I know?
Speaker 1: Sometimes this is I mean for us specifically, we have
Speaker 1: shared a phone plan with another family and even now
Speaker 1: my mom's and not there's like eight of us or
Speaker 1: nine of us now that are sharing in this family
Speaker 1: phone plan, and it makes the phone plan less expensive
Speaker 1: for all of us. And sharing a costco membership, we
Speaker 1: share a cost co membership. Yeah, Sharing tools like actually
Speaker 1: buying something that it's like okay, let's go in on
Speaker 1: it together and we'll share it, or even sharing libraries,
Speaker 1: tool libraries, seed libraries. And then that brings me to
Speaker 1: the last point. Does the library offer it.
Speaker 3: Libraries are amazing. You've heard us just geek out over
Speaker 3: how much we love life.
Speaker 1: Go back to the entertainment episode how to Save money
Speaker 1: on Entertainment practically library, it's a love letter to libraries.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And of course you're hearing in this the undercurrent
Speaker 3: of reciprocity that we think is so so important to
Speaker 3: living a frugal lifestyle, that we are not just taking,
Speaker 3: we're also giving. And so when it comes to freebies,
Speaker 3: we can be asking ourselves what do I own that
Speaker 3: someone else might need? Occasionally that there is a give
Speaker 3: and take. And so when it comes to tools, baby gear, books,
Speaker 3: kitchen appliances, party supplies, people often need them, but only
Speaker 3: for the short short term. So making sure that you
Speaker 3: know what you have to offer and they'll be more
Speaker 3: inclined to reciprocate. And again, this is why when we
Speaker 3: look at those higher level needs of belonging in community
Speaker 3: and relationship and esteem, this blends so beautifully into it
Speaker 3: and is a lifestyle that actually is fulfilling for us,
Speaker 3: not just deprivation, because we are not just looking at
Speaker 3: frugality on a money aspect, but recognizing that when we
Speaker 3: ask these questions and we engage in this give and take.
Speaker 3: We have more flourishing relationships. We feel better about ourselves
Speaker 3: because we have purpose and something to offer. We're thinking
Speaker 3: critically and creatively, and we're solving problems together. So yeah, again,
Speaker 3: not just so I can get the most for the
Speaker 3: least amount, but so that I can really be a
Speaker 3: contributing member to my community.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we really do believe that frugal living is a
Speaker 1: shift in mindset to a to a village mentality, a
Speaker 1: sharing economy. Obviously not we're not leaving capitalism, right, We're
Speaker 1: not anti capitalism, and we're not you know, pro sharing
Speaker 1: everything equally, you know, like communism or something. We are
Speaker 1: pro sharing in our smaller communities, and that involves getting
Speaker 1: to know the peace people in your community. It involves
Speaker 1: a high level of invested relationships, and it takes time
Speaker 1: to build those. So, like, when you have something that
Speaker 1: you're willing to share, let people know. When they know
Speaker 1: you're willing to share, they are more willing to share
Speaker 1: with you. And this comes from interacting with people face
Speaker 1: to face, voice to voice. Sure, you could post on
Speaker 1: Facebook or post on Instagram a picture of something you're
Speaker 1: willing to share, but that's not going to really fly
Speaker 1: in the terms of people feeling safe with you. Right,
Speaker 1: So it's putting ourselves out there into more face to
Speaker 1: face interactions and that's what builds this small scale sharing economy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just like a win win win across the board. Okay,
Speaker 3: So then the next filter here is if we can't
Speaker 3: get it for free, then how can I get it
Speaker 3: for low cost? So maybe that same or similar item
Speaker 3: less than what you might typically pay for it. So
Speaker 3: this is where we are thinking second hand first, your
Speaker 3: thrift stores, Facebook, marketplace, pawn shops, consignment stores. That again
Speaker 3: not just for the lowest price, but also so that
Speaker 3: we are not contributing to more consumption the creating of
Speaker 3: new things when most likely what we are looking for
Speaker 3: already exists. So beginning to look for that pre owned
Speaker 3: is always going to be the first filter that we
Speaker 3: go through. And of course considering repairing instead of replacing.
Speaker 3: There's a lot of additional benefits here from building a
Speaker 3: new skill set, increasing self esteem and our own sense
Speaker 3: of purpose creativity. Again, problem solving, not putting more into
Speaker 3: the landfill, not buying new if we can figure out
Speaker 3: how to make what we already have work through diy
Speaker 3: fixes that we're youtubing or asking a friend to help
Speaker 3: you to repair something like I just did an Instagram
Speaker 3: post well somewhat recently about repairing shoes. They were great
Speaker 3: shoes that I actually initially got from the thrift store,
Speaker 3: so somebody else had already warned them through. Then I've
Speaker 3: been wearing them through for about eight years now and
Speaker 3: I just can't find anything else I like better. They're
Speaker 3: leather boots. They're great, but the soles absolutely came off
Speaker 3: of them, and I took them to a shoe repair.
Speaker 3: I didn't have to repair it, but I did support
Speaker 3: a local business and was able to maintain the shoes
Speaker 3: I already owned. So it's this type of mentality too
Speaker 3: that we want to lean into. And along with that,
Speaker 3: it will mean investing in quality over quantity, getting the
Speaker 3: thing that will last longer rather than as cheap as
Speaker 3: possibly can, so that it will be something that you
Speaker 3: can eventually repair.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and this explicitly looks at the good stewardship of
Speaker 1: natural resources. Right, we're trying to We're not against new
Speaker 1: but we're trying to limit need like the manufacturing of
Speaker 1: new things, because it also plays into the physical space.
Speaker 1: That we have in the world, honestly, because we're not
Speaker 1: getting another world, and all of our textile waste, our
Speaker 1: appliance waste, our tech waste, it doesn't disappear, it doesn't
Speaker 1: just get burned up and incinerated and then creates, you know,
Speaker 1: more dirt for us to build on. That's not what happens.
Speaker 1: It gets sent to other places. And right now those
Speaker 1: other places are not typically in America. But we won't
Speaker 1: be able to say that forever. So many, so much
Speaker 1: textile waste is ending up in American landfills. It's just
Speaker 1: a smaller percentage of what is sent overseas. And so
Speaker 1: we want to be good stewards of the physical space
Speaker 1: of our planet, right so minimizing the need for new
Speaker 1: manufacturing is one of the ways that we can do that.
Speaker 1: We also love these second hand websites online. There are
Speaker 1: so many more options to get what you need secondhand online.
Speaker 1: If you don't have the time resources to invest in thrifting,
Speaker 1: yard sailing, all of that and you will pay a
Speaker 1: little more money, but you're getting good quality and you're
Speaker 1: saving some of that time resource. So I've seen places
Speaker 1: like back market for tech relay for running shoes which
Speaker 1: are not used running shoes, but their shoes that were
Speaker 1: returned within the thirty to one hundred day window so
Speaker 1: that they can't resell as quote unquote new goodbye gear
Speaker 1: buy that's baby stuff or unclaimed baggage is stuff that
Speaker 1: was literally unclaimed baggage from airports that they have a
Speaker 1: whole store. I think it's in Kentucky or Alabama. It's
Speaker 1: a very cool store. I would love to go. But yeah,
Speaker 1: so there are so many more options to buy things
Speaker 1: online secondhand. We just have to put that filter into
Speaker 1: place and spend a little time looking before we jump
Speaker 1: straight to Amazon or Walmart or wherever else we tend
Speaker 1: to go.
Speaker 3: And when we can't get it secondhand, this is when
Speaker 3: we are looking for a deal, a way to buy
Speaker 3: the item may be new, but for more than what
Speaker 3: you would have purchased it if you would have paid
Speaker 3: full price for it. And this is when your rebates, coupons,
Speaker 3: sales discount stores are going to come in clutch for us,
Speaker 3: because why not if we're going to already now be
Speaker 3: buying it, how can we get it for less expensive
Speaker 3: so that we can free up more of our resource
Speaker 3: of money to go towards things that might be even
Speaker 3: more important to us. And because these resources exist, so
Speaker 3: why not use them. Sites like Groupon where you can
Speaker 3: get up to seventy percent off of local restaurants, services, travel.
Speaker 3: I have traveled at least twice with deals off of Groupon.
Speaker 3: We're not sponsored by any of these, by the way,
Speaker 3: I know it sounds like we are, but we're not
Speaker 3: living social similar to Groupon with local deals and discounts,
Speaker 3: brads deals, they actually have sponsored us, but we do
Speaker 3: think that they're We think that anyone who sponsors us
Speaker 3: is great. We're not gonna let anybody sponsor us who
Speaker 3: we don't think is a good site and resource for you.
Speaker 3: But they they specifically curate deals from trustworthy sources, so
Speaker 3: they're going to tell you what the best price, who's
Speaker 3: offering the best price on maybe this set of sheets,
Speaker 3: or this kitchen gadget, or these shoes or even travel,
Speaker 3: sometimes even up to getting fifty percent off. Then you've
Speaker 3: got places like slickdeals dot net. That one's community powered.
Speaker 3: It's a deal site with reviews and alerts on different
Speaker 3: things that you might already be buying. Local Flavor that's
Speaker 3: a that's a local restaurant with coupons for the different
Speaker 3: foods that they may offer, sometimes fifty to sixty percent off.
Speaker 3: So being able to be aware of what are these
Speaker 3: different deal websites and am I using them regularly? This
Speaker 3: is back to did you mention Benny already that's second hand,
Speaker 3: So we're jumping around a little bit. But that's a
Speaker 3: browser extension that you can download and if you are
Speaker 3: on any website and it finds that same item that
Speaker 3: you're looking for on a second hand site, they'll tell
Speaker 3: you about it. So let's say I'm on Patagonia's website
Speaker 3: and I'm looking at a pullover, Benny might pop up
Speaker 3: and say, actually, that same pullover in this size is
Speaker 3: for sale right now on thread Up. Done, bouncing right
Speaker 3: over to thread Up and getting it secondhand instead. So
Speaker 3: that's primary. Benny is primarily clothing and accessories, choose that
Speaker 3: kind of a thing. But these types of things can
Speaker 3: really help us to make sure that we are being
Speaker 3: as efficient as possible in shopping our second hand and
Speaker 3: getting the deal. Like, we don't have to be sprawled
Speaker 3: out on our living room floor clipping coupons all day.
Speaker 3: We just need to know about these hands full of
Speaker 3: websites that we go to first.
Speaker 1: Yeah, deals are really something we resort to, it's not
Speaker 1: what we jump to. And I think this is what
Speaker 1: gives frugal people a bad name. People will bash frugality
Speaker 1: as being scarcity minded or limited mindset, and that could
Speaker 1: not be further from the truth we have. This is
Speaker 1: an internal motivator. Frugality is an internal motivator for me.
Speaker 1: I love the idea of freedom, financial freedom, time freedom, space, freedom,
Speaker 1: and so when I can store my resources in these categories,
Speaker 1: well I get more of it. I cannot out earn
Speaker 1: my spending. I cannot have a big enough abundance mindset
Speaker 1: to control my impulse spending. The spending I do because
Speaker 1: I'm insecure. The spending I do because I'm tired and
Speaker 1: I'm just not I don't want to think about anything.
Speaker 1: I just want to spend things or out of my control.
Speaker 1: And the only way I can find control is by
Speaker 1: purchasing things to solve other problems. Out earning money cannot
Speaker 1: fix those things. When we have freedom and flexibility. That
Speaker 1: is what really gets to the root of those issues.
Speaker 1: You can earn as much money as you want and
Speaker 1: you'll still not be financially secure or feel financial freedom.
Speaker 1: I know a ton of financially quote unquote free people
Speaker 1: that don't feel financially free, and they are just trying
Speaker 1: to spend as little as possible and earn as much
Speaker 1: as possible out of fear that it'll go away, out
Speaker 1: of fear about the future. And frugality is not fear.
Speaker 1: Frugality does not look to hoard like to gain all
Speaker 1: the deals to gain the system. Frugality does not look
Speaker 1: to acquire and consume as much as possible at the
Speaker 1: lowest price possible. That's not our brand of frugality. That's
Speaker 1: not it. If that's what you're looking for, that's not us.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that because I love finding deals, because
Speaker 3: it's not the first thing that I'm jumping to. I
Speaker 3: am not. My frugality has deinfluenced me from over consumption,
Speaker 3: and so I'm only finding myself here at this place
Speaker 3: of finding the best deal after I've done all of
Speaker 3: my understanding of what do I enjoy doing? How can
Speaker 3: I do those things in a way that doesn't cause
Speaker 3: me to overspend? How can I decrease my impulse spending
Speaker 3: while still having fun and enjoying my life. So by
Speaker 3: the time I get to the point of just simply
Speaker 3: buying something, then yeah, it's enjoyable to see how can
Speaker 3: I get this for less cost once I've already done
Speaker 3: the second hand and the free options. So it's not
Speaker 3: this collection, it's not this overconsumption. And I think that's
Speaker 3: one of the reasons because those people do exist. Oh
Speaker 3: absolutely bad wrap of Look at how much candy I
Speaker 3: bought for fifty cents. It's just like, and who's going
Speaker 3: to eat that? And what are we going to do
Speaker 3: with all this candy?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 3: Why?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Why just because you got a deal you could No,
Speaker 3: I'd rather get a deal on the thing that I
Speaker 3: knew I am going to utilize. I put time and
Speaker 3: intentionality into this, and I was able to utilize a
Speaker 3: resource that's available to me.
Speaker 1: So these are these are the foundations of frugality. And
Speaker 1: if we can't get it for free first deciding that
Speaker 1: we really do want it or need it, if we
Speaker 1: can't get it for free, if we can't get it secondhand,
Speaker 1: if we can't get a deal on it, then our
Speaker 1: last filter is that we buy it full price and
Speaker 1: we buy it guilt free, because if it's been through
Speaker 1: all of those filters, then and we know it's aligned
Speaker 1: with our values, it's a good purchase, and people, I'll
Speaker 1: think a lot of frugal people will feel guilty. I
Speaker 1: know they feel guilty for buying things full price. I
Speaker 1: know they feel guilty buying things that are not quote
Speaker 1: unquote needs or essential to life. And that's how we
Speaker 1: do this. We give these filters and if we go
Speaker 1: through them and we still really want it, we have
Speaker 1: to buy it without guilt, because you only get one
Speaker 1: life to live, and you don't know how long that
Speaker 1: life is going to be. Honestly, people will use that
Speaker 1: as an excuse to overconsume, but truly it gives us
Speaker 1: also permission to to consume when we feel guilty or
Speaker 1: fearful about spending.
Speaker 3: I think a lot of times guilt can come when
Speaker 3: we haven't really thought through the purchase. Either not always,
Speaker 3: it doesn't always dispel all of the guilt and shame.
Speaker 3: There's a lot of reasons that we feel this way,
Speaker 3: and part of that has to do with giving ourselves
Speaker 3: space to dig into our money story and understanding our
Speaker 3: own mindsets around these things and putting in the work
Speaker 3: to kind of shed that. But it can help if
Speaker 3: we feel really confident in knowing I've done the research,
Speaker 3: I know how this is aligning with my goals, my values,
Speaker 3: and being able to We talk about this a lot too.
Speaker 3: Purchase locally if we know that we're supporting a friend,
Speaker 3: or we're supporting a local business, we're giving back to
Speaker 3: our community. These types of ways of spending also can
Speaker 3: help us to enter into that kind of guilt free
Speaker 3: spending mode that we're after here. And so that's how
Speaker 3: we do it. Yeah, and I will say there was
Speaker 3: something else I want to say on this here it
Speaker 3: is I think too. There are times I will skip
Speaker 3: over the deal filter hot take so yes, free secondhand,
Speaker 3: and then sometimes just guilt free if it means that
Speaker 3: I'm able to buy this locally or from a more
Speaker 3: reputable brand. I might not be able to get a deal.
Speaker 3: If I'm at a farmer's market buying some sort of
Speaker 3: gadget or spice blend or whatever from people who are
Speaker 3: within my community. Fine, I'm not going to go now
Speaker 3: undercut them because I can get a deal someplace else.
Speaker 3: My guilt free spending is supporting you and the work
Speaker 3: that you're doing your small business, rather than Jeff Bezos.
Speaker 1: Yes you can. You have our full permission to skip
Speaker 1: right to values based spending if you are already know
Speaker 1: that it is aligned with your values, but if you
Speaker 1: are unsure, these filters really do help in getting to
Speaker 1: that guilt free spot.
Speaker 3: Another pillar of our frugal lifestyle, and this podcast is
Speaker 3: it's yeah, it's a part of the framework.
Speaker 1: It's part of the framework. It's the fifth filter.
Speaker 4: The bill of the week, that's right, it's time for
Speaker 4: the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby
Speaker 4: was born and his name is Williams.
Speaker 2: Maybe you've paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died
Speaker 2: and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore.
Speaker 4: That bills, Buffalo bills, Bill Clinton, this is the bill
Speaker 4: of the week.
Speaker 1: Hi, my bill of the week is I was able
Speaker 1: to reach my phone bill by twenty eight dollars each
Speaker 1: and every month.
Speaker 3: Yay.
Speaker 1: I just reviewed the phone plan options that they had
Speaker 1: since it's been a few years, and now I have
Speaker 1: more money each and every month. Yay, yay, Kelsey.
Speaker 3: That's amazing. That's a significant reduction.
Speaker 1: It always it's always good to remind everyone because we
Speaker 1: say it all the time, but it begs reminding. Your
Speaker 1: phone bill and your internet are the easiest bills to negotiate,
Speaker 1: So if you are worried about negotiating, those are the
Speaker 1: two bills to start with. Travis called about like our
Speaker 1: bill for our Internet was increasing by ten dollars a month.
Speaker 1: He just made a call because he wanted it to
Speaker 1: stay the same, and he got off the call and
Speaker 1: it had lowered five dollars a month.
Speaker 3: Amazing. One time I called about Internet because I got
Speaker 3: a mailer of how they were offering a gift card,
Speaker 3: like one hundred dollars gift card to new people who
Speaker 3: signed up to use their service and a lower rate.
Speaker 3: So I called and I'm like, I am a current
Speaker 3: user of your service, but I'd love this rate and
Speaker 3: I'd love that gift card too, and they did. They
Speaker 3: got both as as a long time user, and I
Speaker 3: was kind of like, where do how do I get
Speaker 3: rewarded for my loyalty? They're like, all right, sweetheart, here's
Speaker 3: your gift card, here's your lower rate.
Speaker 1: H yeah, reminded that other options and you are loyal?
Speaker 3: Yeah, Or what's to keep me from canceling and then resigning?
Speaker 3: I've been getting this tea.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I've got the time, resource and willing to
Speaker 1: do that.
Speaker 3: So that's a reason to also look at your drunk mail,
Speaker 3: but also cancel your junk mail because that's just wasted paper.
Speaker 3: But in that situation, it did help me. Well, if
Speaker 3: you're listening and you have a bill that you want
Speaker 3: to share, if it has to do with lowering a
Speaker 3: bill or just being bill and you're paying your bills.
Speaker 3: Frugal friendspodcast dot com slash bill, leave it for us,
Speaker 3: and now it's time for the lightning.
Speaker 1: How did you become frugal?
Speaker 3: Oh? Wow, I did not read this question. You did time,
Speaker 3: you didn't fill it out?
Speaker 1: Okay, I will give an answer. Uh so, I'll be
Speaker 1: very transparent. I don't think I was frugal when we
Speaker 1: started the Frugal Friends podcast. I wanted I wanted to
Speaker 1: help people become debt free. And a big thing that
Speaker 1: was a trans that was transformative to me in our
Speaker 1: debt free journey was learning that I why I had
Speaker 1: little control over my spending. It was easy for me
Speaker 1: to make money side hustles came naturally to me, but
Speaker 1: I could not out earn my mindless spending, and so
Speaker 1: finding ways to lower my spending became really transformative because
Speaker 1: that was more difficult than making money. And so when
Speaker 1: I about twenty nineteen, I think it was maybe a
Speaker 1: year into the show when I lost my job and
Speaker 1: could no longer max out all of my retirement accounts
Speaker 1: and lost my identity in that level of achievement that
Speaker 1: I was really honestly defining myself. By then, I had
Speaker 1: to let go of the idea of like white knuckling
Speaker 1: your self discipline with money, and we were so obsessed
Speaker 1: with spending being kind of like a race to the bottom,
Speaker 1: and I've I realized that it wasn't. And I had
Speaker 1: always been quite in tune with the real reality that
Speaker 1: life is short, the end is not determined, the end
Speaker 1: is not controllable. So I think it was really easy
Speaker 1: easy for me. Once I had to lose my identity
Speaker 1: of like just being a financial overachiever, coupled with I
Speaker 1: don't know how long I'm going to get on this earth,
Speaker 1: that was truly the transformation. That was the start of
Speaker 1: my transformation to discovering this good stewardship approach.
Speaker 3: That's really beautiful. Thanks so yeah. Similarly, it does take
Speaker 3: me to kind of a more meta place to answer
Speaker 3: this question, which I do think is very indicative of
Speaker 3: where we're finding ourselves in our understanding of frugality. I
Speaker 3: think my answer to this is I'm still becoming frugal.
Speaker 3: I think, yeah, it is a journey right well, and
Speaker 3: because I feel like it is a lifestyle and it
Speaker 3: is integrated to how I view myself view the world
Speaker 3: and not just a way I manage money that I
Speaker 3: am becoming. So as I'm in my own process of
Speaker 3: becoming how I'm understanding frugality, meaning the way I steward
Speaker 3: all of my resources and what's been entrusted to me,
Speaker 3: I'm still learning how to do that better and better.
Speaker 3: I will say, though, there is if I were to
Speaker 3: kind of think about a turning point for me, and
Speaker 3: this was not me ever arriving. There's been so much
Speaker 3: that I've been able to build upon from this point.
Speaker 3: But I remember when I was younger, my grandmother would
Speaker 3: take me to the thrift store. She would get things
Speaker 3: for herself. That's where she would like to buy things.
Speaker 3: I only wanted to go to the mall, like that's
Speaker 3: where I wanted to be.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, saying my mom actually went to the
Speaker 1: took me to the thrift store once and I refused
Speaker 1: to go inside.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I yeah, Like little me who couldn't even
Speaker 3: drive myself, was just like, I'm not going there, it's gross.
Speaker 1: I'm not choking in the car in the hot floor
Speaker 1: to sun. I did eventually go in because I was
Speaker 1: so warm.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, right, just her a little bit of acy. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and she would take you out weather Vein, do you
Speaker 3: remember weather Vein, air Apostel, American Eagle, Like, these are
Speaker 3: the places that I wanted my crothing, absolutely, And then
Speaker 3: at some point I realized, wait, they have some of
Speaker 3: those clothes at the thrift store. It must have been that. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I went begrudgingly, so I'm finally just digging through, and
Speaker 3: then I realize I can So this is where obviously,
Speaker 3: like thirteen year old me, I can get so much
Speaker 3: for so little, Right, that was like kind of my understanding,
Speaker 3: but still it was something. It was a version of
Speaker 3: a building block for me to realize that I can
Speaker 3: get the things that I want for not as much,
Speaker 3: which frees up more opportunities. How I've understood that has
Speaker 3: has shifted over the years. I mean I even talk
Speaker 3: about in the book, even within the last ten years,
Speaker 3: I have shifted from wanting to acquire as much as
Speaker 3: possible for as little as possible to Now, I don't
Speaker 3: want all that stuff. I don't want it to take
Speaker 3: up my time to clean it and repair it and
Speaker 3: YadA YadA. So but I will say I think that
Speaker 3: that was a little bit of a pivotal point for
Speaker 3: me to realize there are other ways to think critically
Speaker 3: about how we manage our resources, and if we allow
Speaker 3: ourselves those opportunities, then then the opportunity cost. What it
Speaker 3: opens up for us is there's a whole new world
Speaker 3: out there. And so from that point then then I
Speaker 3: became a thrift store early and that was that was it.
Speaker 3: You couldn't you can't take me back to weather Vane
Speaker 3: because they closed down me. You don't exist anymore, stop me. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So we're just building upon it and we're learning and
Speaker 3: we're sharing it all with you guys.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So thank you so much for listening. I hope
Speaker 1: if you're in your beginning journey of potentially becoming frugal
Speaker 1: following this lifestyle, welcome insert cult joke here. But we
Speaker 1: think a great place to start after this is reading
Speaker 1: our book by What You Love Without Going broke. It's
Speaker 1: extremely comprehensive in how we steward the resource of money well,
Speaker 1: and it also does touch on the other the resources,
Speaker 1: just really hones in on the money aspect. You can
Speaker 1: get that at buywolovebook dot com. People have nice things
Speaker 1: to say about it, like Ryan, who gave it a
Speaker 1: five star review on Amazon. Admittedly, it has been a
Speaker 1: while since I've actually finished the book, they say let
Speaker 1: alone within the span of two weeks. Buy What You
Speaker 1: Love is a fun read full of amazing advice and
Speaker 1: relatable stories. It feels like a conversation with a friend
Speaker 1: one who wants you to feel empowered about your finances
Speaker 1: and spending. Jen and Jill not only acknowledged that the
Speaker 1: old standby financial advice to simply just not spend money
Speaker 1: is impossible, but they challenge you to really figure out
Speaker 1: how you can and want to spend money in your
Speaker 1: current season of life. The lightning rounds and action steps
Speaker 1: at the end of each chapter are what sets this
Speaker 1: book apart and helps you internalize their words and advice.
Speaker 1: I had so many revelations when I actually took the
Speaker 1: time to look at the deeper meaning behind my spend
Speaker 1: and coming up with creative ways to spend less and
Speaker 1: get more of what I really want. Thank you, Jen
Speaker 1: and Jill. I will continue to recommend this book to
Speaker 1: friends and strangers alike.
Speaker 3: That's really awesome. That's one of the first times that
Speaker 3: I've heard somebody specifically reference how helpful the lightning around
Speaker 3: and action step were, which was something that was really
Speaker 3: important for us to put into the book, that it
Speaker 3: would be this integrated. You weren't just passively reading, but
Speaker 3: actively engaged and kind of knowing what to do next.
Speaker 3: I think that that's one of the things that self
Speaker 3: help books can lack, is the but what do I
Speaker 3: do now? Not just at the end of the book,
Speaker 3: but every single chapter. So I'm so thrilled to hear
Speaker 3: that that was helpful for you, Ryan, And if you
Speaker 3: want the same kind of help for yourself, buy what
Speaker 3: you loovebook dot com. We really believe in this thing
Speaker 3: and we want we want to help you with think
Speaker 3: it's a good resource.
Speaker 1: And if you have read it, please leave a rating
Speaker 1: review on Amazon. That would be so helpful to get
Speaker 1: the word out. Thank you, Answer you next time.
Speaker 3: Bye.
Speaker 1: Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Siriani. So I've been
Speaker 1: watching a lot of social commentary on YouTube. I know
Speaker 1: I've talked to you about this, but some of my
Speaker 1: favorite channels are Hannah Alonso and Kiki Chanel, And what
Speaker 1: they do is they will go they will dissect social
Speaker 1: media like influencer culture and viral trends and talk about
Speaker 1: what it means, how we interpret it, like how it
Speaker 1: permeates our identity when we see so many of them,
Speaker 1: because it's a viral trend, you're not seeing just one,
Speaker 1: You're seeing like twenty or thirty. Whether it's like the overconsumption,
Speaker 1: the overorganization, the stand cups, like this is not just
Speaker 1: a problem for women like girls like in their.
Speaker 3: Early girls with makeup.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is an issue for women in their thirties
Speaker 1: and forties. And I showed you the tail end of
Speaker 1: a video of a Kihishanel video I was watching, uh
Speaker 1: yesterday about how we should start banning podcast equipment because
Speaker 1: every and you know.
Speaker 3: If anyone with a microphone, everyone say whatever they want.
Speaker 1: Anyone with a microphone can say whatever they want, whether
Speaker 1: it is helpful or not. And the it primarily featured
Speaker 1: the traditional bro podcaster, but there were some women in
Speaker 1: there too. People should just not be allowed careful.
Speaker 3: Here's the thing, what's beautiful about podcasts is that the
Speaker 3: so many and we can choose. That's the thing. Anyone
Speaker 3: can say whatever they want, and we can choose whether
Speaker 3: or not we want to listen to them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so my hope is that people more reasonable
Speaker 1: people will say reasonable things, because it's the delusional ones
Speaker 1: that think people want to hear them. And that's why
Speaker 1: we stick around, because.
Speaker 3: We're still here.
Speaker 1: We've said so many times we could for sure make
Speaker 1: more money doing other things, but this is a this
Speaker 1: is seriously still It's been seven years, and this is
Speaker 1: a gap that no other podcast is filling. We would
Speaker 1: love to see more frugal living podcasts, but everybody wants
Speaker 1: to talk about the economy and investing and financial news
Speaker 1: and earning money, and so we'll stick around to be
Speaker 1: that alternative for people who want to be better stewards
Speaker 1: of their money, time, physical space, energy, and natural resources.
Speaker 3: We'll still be here, just chugging away on our microphones.
Speaker 1: But yeah, you should watch that video from Kiki Shadow.
Speaker 3: It good