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Speaker 1: Cocome to this week's episode of the PhD Podcast. It

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Speaker 1: is your girl, Ebane, and I'm very excited about this

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Speaker 1: week's episode. Um. Before before we began to do a

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Speaker 1: little housekeeping. UM, if you're on any of the social

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Speaker 1: media network, you can follow me on all platforms at

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Speaker 1: the Professional Home Girl, you can follow the podcast at

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Speaker 1: the PhD Podcast, and you can follow the beauty line

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Speaker 1: that I just launched. I'm very excited about at eban

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Speaker 1: a beauty So I really want to get into this

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Speaker 1: conversation because I'm really excited. I feel like my guests

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Speaker 1: is gonna be very informative. UM, this is something that

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Speaker 1: I think that we should be talking more about, and

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Speaker 1: not just with this topic, but we're just in general

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Speaker 1: and how we should treat each other and how we

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Speaker 1: can learn from each other. So I was doing my

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Speaker 1: research because I really want to touch on some questions

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Speaker 1: that I feel like my guests can like shed light on.

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Speaker 1: And I didn't know that sixteen point nine million people

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Speaker 1: tuned in to hear Bruce Jenner story on his transition

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Speaker 1: to becoming Caitlyn Jenner. So with that being said, UM,

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Speaker 1: can you tell us a little bit more about your background?

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Speaker 1: And your journey and becoming a transform Okay, well my story,

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Speaker 1: that's a lie. We gotta start away from the beginning, right,

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Speaker 1: So my story is totally different from Caitlin because I

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Speaker 1: am not a white woman and I'm not really so yeah, amen,

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Speaker 1: but um I started, My story starts off. I'm from Miami, Florida,

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Speaker 1: born and raised. My parents are from the Islands. My

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Speaker 1: mom is Jaremaking, my father's Haitian. So I grew up

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Speaker 1: in a very um Island background. Everything was I went

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Speaker 1: to school in an American culture, and then when I

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Speaker 1: went home, it was all about everything island. You would

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Speaker 1: have thought I lived in Jamaica. So it was like

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Speaker 1: a very a big disconnect because I was hanging out

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Speaker 1: with my American friends and then when I went home,

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Speaker 1: it was purely Jamaica. So that was that. And my

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Speaker 1: mom was very Christian. We went to Bible study, I

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Speaker 1: was a brought to the choir. We went to church Sunday.

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Speaker 1: You don't get to go outside and play after certain hours.

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Speaker 1: Very strict, very traditional. So that's how my earlier years were.

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Speaker 1: We were very spoiled, but we were. It was a

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Speaker 1: lot of discipline and you knew better. You knew not

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Speaker 1: to do a lot of things, which is why when

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Speaker 1: I get deeper into my story, you'll understand more things. Um,

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Speaker 1: I was always I knew I was a woman. I

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Speaker 1: always knew. It was a matter of being in the

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Speaker 1: space to be able to become the woman that I'm

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Speaker 1: becoming today. I didn't have that space earlier on because

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Speaker 1: I was in such a strict environment. You were not

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Speaker 1: gonna You're not gonna walk around like that. You're not

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Speaker 1: talking about that, we're not discussing that, and you're not

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Speaker 1: going to be that because you're not gonna embarrass the family.

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Speaker 1: That's what the thought will you say that you when

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Speaker 1: you say that you always knew, do you think that

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Speaker 1: you were born? And I do believe that my soul

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Speaker 1: does not connect with my body, the physical because I'm

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Speaker 1: purely woman, and so I have to deal with the

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Speaker 1: outer shell, which definitely does not match that. And that's

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Speaker 1: where the part of gender just for you comes in

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Speaker 1: it saying that I'm born a certain way, my physical

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Speaker 1: attribute say this, but my mental and spiritual side express

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Speaker 1: a whole another gender. So that's why many of us

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Speaker 1: go through a period of They make you go do

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Speaker 1: therapy and you have to get signed off of therapist

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Speaker 1: saying that you're going through gender dysphor you so that

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Speaker 1: you can then begin hormones and things like that. M

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Speaker 1: So that's the whole process with the proper way to

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Speaker 1: do the proper ways. You go to a therapy, you

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Speaker 1: get diagnosed with gender dysphoria, and then you see endochronologists

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Speaker 1: or R and P who works in a facility that

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Speaker 1: provides care for trans people, and you start your hormones

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Speaker 1: and you just to be in your journey. You know,

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Speaker 1: I was gonna, I'm gonna definitely come back to that

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Speaker 1: because I was going through your stories, your answers story

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Speaker 1: or no, I think it was your post, and you

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Speaker 1: were saying, like, listen, you need to make sure that

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Speaker 1: you take care of yourself and do things the right way,

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Speaker 1: because I always yeah, and I thought that was very

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Speaker 1: important that you said that, because I feel like people

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Speaker 1: be such in a hurry to be who they really

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Speaker 1: want to be, but it takes time and you gotta

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Speaker 1: do things the right way so you can be mentally prepared,

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Speaker 1: physically prepared. Yeah, it can be a very big emotionally

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Speaker 1: prepared because you want to be who you are so

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Speaker 1: bad that you're willing to go to the extremes to

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Speaker 1: become that person. And I was one there and I

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Speaker 1: had to stop myself. I'm like, you need to slow down.

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Speaker 1: You're only gonna become when you need to become with

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Speaker 1: in time. So I had to realize what it's a process.

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Speaker 1: I need to trust the process, and my features are

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Speaker 1: not going to change in the day. My indo chronologist

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Speaker 1: listens as if you're going through puberty. A girl goes

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Speaker 1: to puberty from the age of like twelve up until

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Speaker 1: maybe twenty five. You have a lot of years to

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Speaker 1: go through these changes before you fully blossom into who

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Speaker 1: you want to become. Well, I'm twenty seven. Oh well

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Speaker 1: you look good. I mean seven, they're still young. But

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Speaker 1: I thought you were younger. But you still look good.

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Speaker 1: You're still young. I don't feel like it because it's

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Speaker 1: like I'm a one thirty girl. Oh please, you don't

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Speaker 1: feel like that. I'm going because I'm like, oh my god.

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Speaker 1: The other day I'm like, or what I'm about to be?

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Speaker 1: I'm going to be thirty? Sold? What? No? Stop it?

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Speaker 1: So a little more about your background, so it in

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Speaker 1: like a very strict household. Yeah, it's very strict. My

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Speaker 1: mom was like, you went to school and got to be.

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Speaker 1: Why did you get to be? I didn't see you

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Speaker 1: to school to get it. You have to get a

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Speaker 1: So so when did you When did you start realizing that, like,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I think, I'm gonna go through it

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Speaker 1: like I want to go. I knew since I was

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Speaker 1: young that I was a girl. And one of my

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Speaker 1: best friends, cousin sister, we grew up together. She was um.

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Speaker 1: She knew too, and we were tight like glue, and

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Speaker 1: she she didn't view me as like a male or boy.

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Speaker 1: We we took showers together and everything in the high side,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's a boy and a girl in

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Speaker 1: the top. We thought we were two girls in the top.

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Speaker 1: Everything she did, I really we didn't never think. I

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Speaker 1: never thought that I was a guy. It was only

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Speaker 1: until I started getting my when I went from elementary

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Speaker 1: up into middle school, and when you realized like, okay,

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Speaker 1: the kids are telling you that you are a boy,

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Speaker 1: and your mom is reiterating that you are a boy.

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Speaker 1: But my aunt see the backstory. And my aunt wanted

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Speaker 1: to adopt me from my mom because she knew and

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Speaker 1: she saw within me what it was and she wanted

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Speaker 1: to adopt me so that I can blossom of you

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Speaker 1: who I need to be. But my mom said, no,

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Speaker 1: did she ever tell you? What did she did? What

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Speaker 1: did she see in you? Like? How did she know

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Speaker 1: my aunt? Yeah? Well my aunt basically said because I

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Speaker 1: used to go to my aunt house all the time.

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Speaker 1: And she was like, you want to come stay with me?

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Speaker 1: Because when I was at her house, I could be

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Speaker 1: whoever I wanted to be. I was free, he was comfortable.

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Speaker 1: I was like, yes, she's not my actual mom. If

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Speaker 1: you can come stay with me and I'm gonna take you.

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Speaker 1: So when she asked my mom and she tried to

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Speaker 1: present the scenario and let me adopt her, let me

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Speaker 1: take her under my wing, my mom was like, no,

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Speaker 1: you're not taking my child. No, no, no, no, she

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Speaker 1: was not having that in her mind. No, it's not real.

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Speaker 1: And so I battled with the fact that I had

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Speaker 1: to be in this house where I couldn't be who

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Speaker 1: I wanted to be. So the depression started very early,

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Speaker 1: very well I say, like fourth third grade. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: was like very depressed. I didn't want to do nothing,

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to be around people. I was I

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Speaker 1: was not happy at all. And so that went on

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Speaker 1: for a long time until I just I had to

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Speaker 1: get over it. But I would go to our every

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Speaker 1: chance I got. I went to my own house until

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Speaker 1: something happened. So while I was like thirteen, and this

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Speaker 1: is when the view of myself changed and when I

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Speaker 1: really realized that people were against the LGBT community. I

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Speaker 1: had a friend. I was on the train and we

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Speaker 1: were both going somewhere and the guy must have said

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Speaker 1: some think to her. I had to be like twelve,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, don't talk about my friend like that,

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Speaker 1: and he got She got off the train and I

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Speaker 1: was there by myself. Now I'm a twell old on

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Speaker 1: the train and it's about seven pm and I was

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Speaker 1: going to my aunt's house. The guy physically assaulted me

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Speaker 1: on the train, and all these obscenities, you faggot, and

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Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah blah, and all of these adults

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Speaker 1: on the train did nothing. Nobody helped me. Everybody just

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Speaker 1: sat and watched. Nobody did anything. That's really fucking disgusting.

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Speaker 1: How can you listen? I mean, first of all, nobody's

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Speaker 1: putting their hands on anybody, but to put a drawn

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Speaker 1: kid like he was a grown man. He was old.

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Speaker 1: I was young, right, he was a kid, and he

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Speaker 1: beat me up and got off the train, and nobody, nobody,

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Speaker 1: not all the these adults on the train, and nobody

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Speaker 1: did nothing. So I just sat there crying and I

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Speaker 1: got off the train. Oh my god. I went to

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Speaker 1: my own house and I didn't say a word. She

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Speaker 1: never knew. I didn't tell my cousin, didn't tell nobody.

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Speaker 1: The only way that they found out was I think

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Speaker 1: last year was the first time I even mentioned it

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Speaker 1: because it was traumatic, because that was the point that

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Speaker 1: I went from being, oh my god, I'm a girl,

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Speaker 1: I'm happy too. No, this is dangerous. Somebody can hurt you.

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Speaker 1: Somebody did hurt you. I need to put myself away,

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Speaker 1: I need to step back, you know. So funny, I

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Speaker 1: feel like with the in the world that we live in,

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Speaker 1: like you would think that a lot of things are

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Speaker 1: more accepting and a little bit people have a little

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Speaker 1: bit more grace to be understanding. But then sometimes I

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Speaker 1: be thinking, like, damn, like people are still like me,

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Speaker 1: racist and evil, Like how did you hurt somebody like that,

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Speaker 1: you know, just because of there, just because of who

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Speaker 1: they identified with as in their gender or the like

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Speaker 1: just or their orientation, Like people are just really fucking

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Speaker 1: discussed hate. Crimes are real, girl, Seriously, crimes are very

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Speaker 1: very real, and that that fact. I never got over

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Speaker 1: the fact that these grown adults was there. I know

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Speaker 1: they probably had kids just watch it, and I'm like, nobody,

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Speaker 1: they just watched me sit there and cry and get

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Speaker 1: beat up. I was like, wow, and nobody actually pay

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Speaker 1: offer you some tissues. I guess because I was gay

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Speaker 1: and they you think that's what it was. That's the

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Speaker 1: only thing I could think of unless they were scared

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Speaker 1: of him. But it's more of you than him. It

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Speaker 1: was only him, right, Damn. You know, I'm really sorry

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Speaker 1: that happened to you. That's really disgusting because you know

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Speaker 1: what it is when I think about like having kids

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Speaker 1: in the future, and I think about, like what if

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Speaker 1: my child is gay, or what if my child is

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Speaker 1: what I mean, my child is gonna be black, or

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Speaker 1: like the things that we really go through, and and

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Speaker 1: it's scary. It's really scary. It's scary. It's very scary

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Speaker 1: because when you see your child out in the world,

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Speaker 1: there's only so much protection that you can give them

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Speaker 1: because they're not going to always be with you so

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Speaker 1: you can. It's a scary world out there where. So

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Speaker 1: when did you find the side to like go through

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Speaker 1: with the full transition? Um? Also high school, So I

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Speaker 1: went to middle school and also high school. I just

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Speaker 1: I played the role as the gay friend. I was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to stay in this little lane. I'm not

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Speaker 1: really gonna jump out the window because I stay at

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Speaker 1: home with my mom and I don't really have the space,

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Speaker 1: so let me just lay low. When graduated high school,

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Speaker 1: went to college, got my first degree. Um, I am

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Speaker 1: the first of my family because my parents are immigrants

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Speaker 1: to have a degree. Oh well, that's a congratulations, that's

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Speaker 1: what's up. And both my parent my mother came here

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Speaker 1: at sixteen, my father came here at seventeen, and they

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Speaker 1: both they never acquired the high school education. So that

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Speaker 1: was major for me. And then after getting my degree,

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Speaker 1: I stayed home and I worked because I wanted to

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Speaker 1: make money. So I got me a job and I

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Speaker 1: was working and I was focused on making money and

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Speaker 1: I was helping out at home. I wasn't. I wasn't

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Speaker 1: in my mind I wanted to transition, but where I

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Speaker 1: was living, I was living in a small town in Miami.

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Speaker 1: Everyone knows everybody. Everybody knows my mom. If I began

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Speaker 1: the process, somebody's gonna tell her. And I value her

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Speaker 1: opinion so much that if she you don't think that

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Speaker 1: she knew, she didn't know everything. She knows everything everything

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Speaker 1: that's a mama for. It was only until there's these incidents.

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Speaker 1: I had an incident at home, and um, well, okay,

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Speaker 1: So how it went was I started to gain more

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Speaker 1: popularity online. I was just only on Facebook, and I

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Speaker 1: was being becoming known from my hair and my makeup,

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Speaker 1: and I was playing between the two, like I would

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Speaker 1: be rocking my hair on women's clothing and I was

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Speaker 1: also gay, and I was doing like I was doing

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Speaker 1: and I was getting popular from it. So one day

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Speaker 1: my brother came and was like, somebody told me they

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Speaker 1: sent you online with a wig on. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: why are you worried about do? You don't pay for it,

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Speaker 1: It's only your business. And he was like, you can't

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Speaker 1: be like that in this house. So he went into

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Speaker 1: my room, destroyed all my wigs, the cut off clothes,

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Speaker 1: broke my items, literally went on a rampage. And then

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Speaker 1: when my mom came, I was like, you know this happened.

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Speaker 1: She didn't say nothing. It was as if her silence

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Speaker 1: was saying that should have happened. That's how I felt.

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Speaker 1: She didn't. She didn't defend me, she didn't stand up

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Speaker 1: for me. And that was I was at my breaking point.

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Speaker 1: This is now fast forward to this. I was at

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Speaker 1: twenty and it's time to go. I think I've tried

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Speaker 1: to play by the rules. I do everything you want

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Speaker 1: me to do, but I have to leave because I

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Speaker 1: gotta go get my own life left. I was staying

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Speaker 1: with my us on her floor. Um, I packed up

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Speaker 1: all my things. I was sleeping on her floor until

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Speaker 1: and then I got a blow up mattress and I

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Speaker 1: stayed there until I can find me a place. I

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Speaker 1: got me apartment and I moved into my apartment and

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Speaker 1: immediately I moved in August. By November, I was already

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Speaker 1: on my hormones. I knew this is what I wanted

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Speaker 1: to do. Wow, so tell us more about the hormone?

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Speaker 1: So like how many? Oh? Okay, So initially when I

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Speaker 1: first started, I went and I did my research. I

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Speaker 1: was very scared because I don't I didn't know what

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Speaker 1: I was doing it, and I was doing it all

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Speaker 1: on my own I didn't have any support, so Google

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Speaker 1: was my best friend. I went on Google and I

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Speaker 1: searched stuff. They have a website that provides trans people

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Speaker 1: with clinics and behavior health doctors that can give you

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Speaker 1: the help that you need. And so I've Googled in

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Speaker 1: my area looking for a doctor. They put me with

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Speaker 1: a specific hospital that specializes in trans health and they

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Speaker 1: set me up appointment, went to the end of chronologists.

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Speaker 1: The first question he asked me was what is your name?

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Speaker 1: So I told him my prior name. He said, no,

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Speaker 1: what do you want me to call you? Because that's

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Speaker 1: now your name? And you know I was with my research. Um. Now,

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Speaker 1: a lot of people may not notice, but like, that's

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Speaker 1: very important to be for you to record that as

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Speaker 1: a person the way they want to be recognized, identified

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Speaker 1: a person that they want to be identified with me

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Speaker 1: because a lot of people don't have a lot of respect,

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Speaker 1: common sense, and identifying us properly is very important because

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Speaker 1: that's somebody walking up to you saying, hey black girl.

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Speaker 1: You're like, wait, I have a name. My name is

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Speaker 1: hey black girl. So identifying people properly is very important.

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Speaker 1: That just goes back to the slavery days when people

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Speaker 1: the Africans were brought here and they were stripped of

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Speaker 1: their names and then given names. The point is why

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Speaker 1: people are fighting to get their freedom is that they

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Speaker 1: want to be addressed properly, and so transferring back to

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Speaker 1: the going back to this point is that trans people

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Speaker 1: just want to be identified properly. We want to be

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Speaker 1: respected in the same light. And it's the same literally

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Speaker 1: the same fight. It's the same fight. No, I agree,

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Speaker 1: but I would I back to my UM story. I

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Speaker 1: um once for in the chronologists. He prescribed me hormones.

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Speaker 1: I'm on estrogen and I take another pill called sparinal

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Speaker 1: lack tone. So sparinal lack tone is a testosterone blocker.

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Speaker 1: Since I was violog a mail, my body naturally produces testosterone.

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Speaker 1: So in order for me to be able to change

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Speaker 1: my body with the estrogen, I have to block out

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Speaker 1: all the testosterone and started producing and then I estiment

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Speaker 1: with the estrogen. Now I'm currently my estrogen level is

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Speaker 1: that of a pregnant woman. Oh it's like carrying. You

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Speaker 1: would think I was carrying twins. Oh that's good girl.

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Speaker 1: Emotional moved away nausea. I guess I was saying that

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Speaker 1: it's good because the fact that it's that because I

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Speaker 1: have to give myself that amount. I started at a

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Speaker 1: very low dose. And this is why I tell them

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Speaker 1: go to the doctors, because if you do not know

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Speaker 1: what you're putting into your body and you're not checking

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Speaker 1: your levels, you can be damaging your kidneys, your liver,

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Speaker 1: in any other organ in your body. But wait, so

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Speaker 1: when you say go to a doctor, can you get

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Speaker 1: this on the street like like a there's a black

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Speaker 1: market for everything, and a lot of trains I don't understand, said, okay,

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Speaker 1: a lot of tracks. I'm blessed that I work in

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Speaker 1: the field where I have healthcare. A lot of trans women,

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Speaker 1: some of them that I know, do not have health care,

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Speaker 1: so they can't just walk into a doctor's office and

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Speaker 1: get hormones like that. They don't have insurance because it's

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Speaker 1: probably very expensive too. So the other way is, let

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Speaker 1: me get online. Let me google how I can buy.

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Speaker 1: Let me find out with the girl on YouTube who

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00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:02,119
Speaker 1: looks good. Let me find out how much estra should

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00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:03,720
Speaker 1: she taken. Let me go on YouTube and buy her

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00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:07,800
Speaker 1: from probably Japan. Well, you don't know exactly what's in it,

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00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:10,640
Speaker 1: but why would you want to buy something that has

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Speaker 1: something that could have enough that has an effect on

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Speaker 1: your body off online. You know what I'm saying. That's

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Speaker 1: because we're desperate to be who we feel we are. Wow,

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Speaker 1: I'm grateful I never had to go that route, and

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00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:28,959
Speaker 1: I've been doing it the right way because any at

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Speaker 1: any moment, there's something going on. I know that I'm

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Speaker 1: checking my levels and I can stop. I would want

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Speaker 1: to stop, but my health is very important. What do

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Speaker 1: you stop? Are you supposed to stop? An endochronologist told

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Speaker 1: me that I will basically be on hormones until about

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Speaker 1: the age fifty because that's when a woman goes through menopause,

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Speaker 1: and then after that you don't take it anymore because

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Speaker 1: by then you should have all your change, everything should

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Speaker 1: be have changed the way before then. You should physically

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Speaker 1: be everything that you desire by then. And then on

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Speaker 1: top of that, you can't continue to take all this

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Speaker 1: estrogen for that many many years because it could become cancerous.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, Yeah, that's why a woman's body naturally become

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Speaker 1: does the menopause, because you can't keep having all this

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Speaker 1: estrogen in your body. That is true, That is true. Wow,

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Speaker 1: And well, you you have insurance. But I said, you

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Speaker 1: have insurance, I'm assuming that it can be pretty expensive too. Well, see,

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Speaker 1: I do have insurance, however, I live in a state

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Speaker 1: of Florida, and state of Florida as a Republican state,

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Speaker 1: so they don't cover anything. So I paid for my

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Speaker 1: own estrogen. I paid for my own tests. I show

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Speaker 1: on block at. I do get a discount for to

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Speaker 1: see the endocnologist because I have insurance, but that's it.

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Speaker 1: My insurance says that the procedures that I would like,

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Speaker 1: like if I want to get my breast done, if

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Speaker 1: I want to get LiPo, if I want to get

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00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,359
Speaker 1: my jawn chin done, those type of thing, they consider

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Speaker 1: that um cosmetics. However, Yeah, and when I was when

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00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:18,800
Speaker 1: I was looking at the seas to remove your your

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Speaker 1: private part, that's like I'm to remove your penis, Yeah,

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00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:26,560
Speaker 1: if you wanna. That's called an s R S sexual

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Speaker 1: reassignment surgery. If I was to get an s RS,

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Speaker 1: it's pretty expensive. And you know what's crazy. I just

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Speaker 1: was talking to one of my guy friends. He was

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Speaker 1: over and I was like, do you think that I

383
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Speaker 1: have to have the surgery? He said, I mean, if

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Speaker 1: you want to complete your transition, you should. I's like,

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Speaker 1: that's pretty that's a pretty expensive surgery. Hell, And I

386
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 1: just was thinking to myself, I don't know if I

387
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:51,359
Speaker 1: want to spend all that money. Do you feel like

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Speaker 1: you need to have to be a woman. I felt like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, I want to get the whole surgery.

390
00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:02,200
Speaker 1: But when I started to date as a trans woman

391
00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:06,040
Speaker 1: and men were still attracted to me regardless of my

392
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Speaker 1: bottom half, I didn't care at that point because it

393
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:15,280
Speaker 1: was like, wait, a man still loves me regardless of that. Well,

394
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:27,360
Speaker 1: how has it been? So? Okay? So from I, I'm

395
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Speaker 1: just gonna have to tell you, brom So I'm twenty

396
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:44,639
Speaker 1: seven now. I lost my virginity this last Saturday. Yes, yes,

397
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Speaker 1: So I waited a very long time because my very

398
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:50,239
Speaker 1: strict mother was like, you're gonna go to hell if

399
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 1: you have secon before Mary, Well, good for you. How

400
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:58,080
Speaker 1: was it? But like how was it? Like? Was it good? Like?

401
00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 1: Oh my god, son, I've been on hormones since November

402
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:15,600
Speaker 1: of last year. I was only one year that I've

403
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,120
Speaker 1: been on hormones. But I've had so many changes within

404
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:22,760
Speaker 1: that one year. Um, which is why I go back

405
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,320
Speaker 1: to making sure you do it the right way so

406
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:29,680
Speaker 1: that you can get the most effective results. I um

407
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:32,159
Speaker 1: was in the first year of my transition. I was

408
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 1: not doing any hormones. I mean not hormones. I was

409
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:37,480
Speaker 1: not dating. I wasn't I was not allowing myself to

410
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 1: date because I just felt like, uh, I want to

411
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:43,600
Speaker 1: focus on my transition. I really want to devote my

412
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:46,920
Speaker 1: time to make sure I'm doing it the right way right.

413
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Speaker 1: So January of this year, I was like, girl, funk

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Speaker 1: all that I ain't doing this right. I started going

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Speaker 1: on dates and I went on some very trashy dates

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Speaker 1: in the first month of January. It'd be like that.

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00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,920
Speaker 1: I went to one day a couple of frogs where

418
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,800
Speaker 1: he have we come to the day and he was like,

419
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Speaker 1: I have something to tell you, and I'm looking at

420
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 1: him and he's like, well, you know, I have a girlfriend.

421
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:18,040
Speaker 1: I'm an open relationship. Excuse me. I'm like, wait, what

422
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,720
Speaker 1: how do you feel about that? How do you feel

423
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:27,160
Speaker 1: about men? That's what women like? How do you feel

424
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:30,159
Speaker 1: about situation like that? I felt disgusted because it's like,

425
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 1: I've been talking to you for two weeks. You never

426
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:34,639
Speaker 1: told me you had a girlfriend. I don't want to

427
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:37,280
Speaker 1: be with you if you have a girlfriend. I'm stingy.

428
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:42,240
Speaker 1: I want to be in ergistically monogamous relationship because I

429
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:44,359
Speaker 1: don't know why you're coming to me for It was like, well,

430
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 1: you know, you seem like you're a fun girl. No no, no, no,

431
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:52,199
Speaker 1: no no no no no. So is it difficult for

432
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,520
Speaker 1: you to have you been in a serious relationship. So

433
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:58,119
Speaker 1: since I have transition, I haven't been in a serious relationship. No,

434
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:00,640
Speaker 1: I have not been in a very in depth relationships,

435
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,439
Speaker 1: been in a situation where you felt comfortable enough for

436
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,640
Speaker 1: you to tell that person about your transition and how

437
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:12,439
Speaker 1: you've been feeling about I'm very comfortable now, and dating

438
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:15,000
Speaker 1: now has become I wouldn't say easy, but it's I'm

439
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:19,639
Speaker 1: more comfortable with it. I don't mind going out on dates,

440
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:22,440
Speaker 1: even though I'm still a little fearful because of course,

441
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 1: these men are dangerous, and you know, they all lie,

442
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:28,560
Speaker 1: and yeah, we tried to trick them. Nobody tricked you.

443
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:32,239
Speaker 1: You knew, And that's what I get afraid for. I

444
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 1: hate when people say they didn't know when you knew,

445
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:36,879
Speaker 1: and then especially when you watch all these movies and

446
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 1: these documentaries, and so it's like, let me lie about it.

447
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:45,639
Speaker 1: And because they don't want to be honest with themselves. No,

448
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:48,160
Speaker 1: they don't want to be honest about it because I mean,

449
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:51,679
Speaker 1: I tried to put it into perspective. If I was

450
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:55,159
Speaker 1: raised up in such a strict Christian household, they probably

451
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:58,840
Speaker 1: was raising such a strict background too, and coming out

452
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:01,240
Speaker 1: see the difference were be not for a trans woman.

453
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:05,360
Speaker 1: You might get bashed, but you'll be able to survive

454
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:09,440
Speaker 1: to a degree because you can be able to maneuver yourself,

455
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,280
Speaker 1: you know. But these men, I guess they feel like

456
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 1: they'll lose their livelihood, they'll lose their families, they'll lose

457
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:18,639
Speaker 1: so much that they are not willing to be truthful.

458
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 1: But you're lying to yourself and you're still gonna like

459
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:27,679
Speaker 1: trans women. It's never gonna change. But why do you

460
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 1: think there's such like a a negative connotation with men

461
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 1: being with trans women? Like why do you am not

462
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:37,920
Speaker 1: gonna be with a man who has a wife or

463
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:42,480
Speaker 1: a girlfriend. I'm not doing that because I want you

464
00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:45,360
Speaker 1: to be committed to me. I want you to give

465
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:47,640
Speaker 1: me attention and affection. I want you to devote your

466
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:50,960
Speaker 1: time to me. You cannot devote your time to me

467
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,680
Speaker 1: if you have a girlfriend, I'm only gonna get half

468
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:56,399
Speaker 1: of you, and see then I'm gonna go crazy on you.

469
00:27:57,880 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 1: And then you're not even living in your food, your

470
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 1: You're not even be honest with yourself. So if you

471
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:10,160
Speaker 1: can't be honest, honest with nobody, right, So dating has

472
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:15,639
Speaker 1: been one hell of a ride. So what's going on

473
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:21,120
Speaker 1: with you? And he took well, I gave my therapist

474
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,960
Speaker 1: says I. He didn't take your originity. You gave him

475
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 1: your originity. It happened so crazy. He's a he is okay,

476
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:36,760
Speaker 1: How can I explain him? I like him a lot.

477
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:39,960
Speaker 1: I do like him a lot. I think he's an

478
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:45,000
Speaker 1: awesome guy. He's very attentive, very charming. When we are together,

479
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:50,240
Speaker 1: he is just amazing. However, of course there's some things

480
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 1: you want to fix. I can imagine there's some things

481
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:53,840
Speaker 1: you want to fix about me. He probably think my

482
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 1: mouth is dangerous because when I don't get I just

483
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 1: go off. But the initial process it was very painful.

484
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:09,800
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh yeah good, but I lost I

485
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:12,960
Speaker 1: lost my virgin t I think when I was like, um,

486
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 1: nineteen who it hurts so bad? Oh god, yeah, it hurts. Yeah,

487
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 1: you're right, girl, because like so when you come to that,

488
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:35,000
Speaker 1: you're gonna get in the weird Just I guess we're

489
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 1: in the according stage, trying to get to know each other,

490
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:40,600
Speaker 1: figure out what we're doing. How is it's gonna work out?

491
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:43,800
Speaker 1: He says, I'm the first trands woman that he's ever

492
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:48,680
Speaker 1: been with. And honestly, he so what is he? Is

493
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:53,480
Speaker 1: he gay? Is he is he gay? Or is he straight? Well? No,

494
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:58,880
Speaker 1: he's not gay, because I'm his I'm his woman. Women

495
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:02,760
Speaker 1: are women on the spectrum of womanhood. You have sis

496
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:06,040
Speaker 1: gender women, which you are sist gender women. You was

497
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:12,680
Speaker 1: born biologically female? Where so what that's what? That's what

498
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:16,640
Speaker 1: you called and that's why you're assist gender. And I'm

499
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:20,800
Speaker 1: considered transgender because biologically I was born a male. I

500
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 1: transition and now I am a woman. But I'm on

501
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 1: the opposite of the end of the spectrum of womanhood. However,

502
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:31,200
Speaker 1: we're both women. There's just two different types of women.

503
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 1: Why do you think I think people get that confused

504
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:39,480
Speaker 1: because they routed back to genitalia. If you have a vagina,

505
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 1: your woman. If you have a penis, you're a man.

506
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 1: They don't associate gender identity with sexuality. They don't think, okay,

507
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 1: like my sexuality can be more than just my penis

508
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 1: or my vagina, because truthfully, those two organs are reproductive organs.

509
00:30:57,320 --> 00:31:02,320
Speaker 1: They have nothing to do with identity right now. Their

510
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:07,479
Speaker 1: their use is to produce offsprings. They have nothing to

511
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:11,760
Speaker 1: do with expression. Because a lot of people get gender

512
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:14,680
Speaker 1: identity and sexual orient you, I'm glad that you did

513
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 1: touch on that. Yeah, they get it confused, and I

514
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:20,600
Speaker 1: just don't think people want to educate themselves on the

515
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:23,600
Speaker 1: process as well. I don't want to because they've been

516
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:25,360
Speaker 1: told that it's the worst thing that you could ever be,

517
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:30,920
Speaker 1: which is sad. What are some misconceptions that you want

518
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 1: to clear out about the transit of the community. One

519
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,400
Speaker 1: because I know, for one, like what you mentioned with

520
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:41,719
Speaker 1: the gender identity that I identify as a woman. But

521
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:45,320
Speaker 1: my sex orientation can be Your sexual can be whatever

522
00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 1: you want to be. You can be sexual, pan sexual,

523
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 1: whatever you feel like, bisexual, sexual, whatever you want to be.

524
00:31:56,480 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 1: Um let me see another misconception. Um My, I remember

525
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 1: when I just I had remember when I just transitioned

526
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:07,120
Speaker 1: my arm and said that I was just very over

527
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 1: the top. I don't know if and I've heard that

528
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 1: a lot where they would have this misconception that trans

529
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:16,440
Speaker 1: people or maybe just gave people in general that they're

530
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 1: just over the top and over exit, over exerting themselves,

531
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:25,760
Speaker 1: trying to gain attention, and it's it's nothing like, Yeah,

532
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 1: I have a lot of gay friends, and they I

533
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:34,280
Speaker 1: think I'd be over the top and they'd like, girl,

534
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 1: calm down. So when I first transitioned, I had not

535
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 1: transitioned that work for a while, So I was doing

536
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:44,600
Speaker 1: the whole name of My breasts were growing, my face

537
00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:47,280
Speaker 1: is changing, my body changing. But I was going to

538
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:49,720
Speaker 1: work and I was wearing a badge that identified myself

539
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:54,680
Speaker 1: as my previous name, and I was trying to lay low. Damn.

540
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:56,640
Speaker 1: But how did that make you feel? It was a

541
00:32:56,760 --> 00:33:01,520
Speaker 1: different because while I'm at home, I and who, and

542
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 1: then when I get to work, I have I'm this

543
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:08,200
Speaker 1: other person, and then I have to turn off for

544
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:10,640
Speaker 1: a moment. While I'm at those hours that I'm at work,

545
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 1: I have to accept people calling me him and sir,

546
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:18,880
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, I thought that was driving. It

547
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:24,280
Speaker 1: was horrible. It was the worst experience ever gone through.

548
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 1: Was ever a time when they called you by your

549
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:30,800
Speaker 1: previous names? So we didn't answer because you don't go

550
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:32,800
Speaker 1: by that name no more. What happened was I went

551
00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 1: to my director and my boss and I was like, listen,

552
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna transition. I'm giving you a heads up because

553
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 1: I'm gonna come in here different, look different. How did he?

554
00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 1: How did take it? My bosses were very respectful. They

555
00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:52,240
Speaker 1: were so happy for me. They went out of their

556
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 1: way to make sure the process was done properly. It

557
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:59,480
Speaker 1: even got down to the CEO of where I worked

558
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:01,280
Speaker 1: and they were listen, we want to make sure this

559
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 1: is done correctly. We want to make sure that you

560
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:07,440
Speaker 1: have a smooth transition. Because you're here in the health

561
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:10,760
Speaker 1: care field. We want to make sure that you were reparate.

562
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:12,839
Speaker 1: We're we are, we're in the age now. We want

563
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:15,480
Speaker 1: to provide care to everybody, and were wanting we want

564
00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:18,279
Speaker 1: to be inclusive, and we think that this is amazing.

565
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:21,319
Speaker 1: You know that says a lot a lot of these

566
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:24,000
Speaker 1: companies only giving no funk y'all, and that's that's really

567
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:27,520
Speaker 1: sad because you have to work, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah,

568
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:31,080
Speaker 1: And so they were doing like little meetings with the

569
00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:35,320
Speaker 1: staff like listen, this is about to happen. She is coming.

570
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:39,640
Speaker 1: We're not accepting anything less than you being respectful, keep

571
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:43,240
Speaker 1: your own personal views to yourself. And it was ingrained

572
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:46,319
Speaker 1: in them before I got there. So when I got there,

573
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 1: it was a matter of when, Okay, when is she

574
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:53,600
Speaker 1: coming time? Know. What I did was I would I

575
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:56,279
Speaker 1: didn't give anybody a specific time, only people that knew

576
00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:57,920
Speaker 1: the time when I was gonna it was gonna happen

577
00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:01,040
Speaker 1: with my director, my bosses, and I'm like, this is

578
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:03,239
Speaker 1: the day I'm coming. But I didn't tell that my

579
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 1: staff men, like my coworkers or nothing. I'm like I did.

580
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:07,680
Speaker 1: I didn't tell them. And so one day when I

581
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 1: got to work and I was sitting in my lounge

582
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:14,319
Speaker 1: and one of the my coworkers at, hey, are you

583
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:17,960
Speaker 1: new here? And I'm like, I said, no, you know

584
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:23,960
Speaker 1: who I am. She said, oh my god. She was finally,

585
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:26,640
Speaker 1: I keep seeing your pictures of you and I never

586
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:29,319
Speaker 1: get to see your person. Oh my god. I was like,

587
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:35,600
Speaker 1: they were really really nice, but the onset was nice,

588
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:41,279
Speaker 1: but when after time went past, it was just like, Okay,

589
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:47,279
Speaker 1: I thought that I would be embraced by black women. Oh,

590
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:51,239
Speaker 1: I thought that I would be embraced more. I thought

591
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:53,719
Speaker 1: that they would take you under their wing and like

592
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:57,520
Speaker 1: showed me the ropes. I thought, wow, what was it

593
00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:01,000
Speaker 1: some of the challenges with that that didn't happen. I

594
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:04,919
Speaker 1: got more talked about than some my than it being

595
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:09,640
Speaker 1: situations where they were extending all the branch to say,

596
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:12,480
Speaker 1: hey girl, do this, Hey girl, this is how you

597
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:15,240
Speaker 1: should do this and wear your hair and your nails

598
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:17,200
Speaker 1: and blah blah blah. It was. It was like that

599
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:20,560
Speaker 1: camaraderie was not there. So I was going to work

600
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:23,480
Speaker 1: for a period of time. I was very miserable because

601
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:26,480
Speaker 1: I'm going to work. It's just like everybody's staring at

602
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:31,000
Speaker 1: me and no one is like really trying to jump

603
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:32,799
Speaker 1: out the window to help me. And I don't know

604
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:34,719
Speaker 1: if they felt like they needed to because I'm not

605
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:40,120
Speaker 1: there trying. Wow. I think I was searching for that

606
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:44,279
Speaker 1: type of UM. I wouldn't say accepting that type of

607
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:50,000
Speaker 1: help because my mom had cut me off. I just

608
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,759
Speaker 1: want to ask you said I'm gonna do. I'm gonna

609
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:57,120
Speaker 1: stop my hormones. I'm transitioning. All I know is time

610
00:36:57,160 --> 00:36:59,920
Speaker 1: went on and she's like, you're gonna start hormones really

611
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:03,319
Speaker 1: really And I was like, yes, so this is what

612
00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:06,719
Speaker 1: I'm doing. And she completely cut me off, and then

613
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 1: I it's different now. Now the relationship is different now.

614
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:16,560
Speaker 1: But in the beginning, she cut me off. My father

615
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:19,880
Speaker 1: cut me off. My brother, what about him do you have?

616
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 1: Don't have a relationship because I guess he doesn't understand it.

617
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:30,640
Speaker 1: He says that I'm crazy. Now he calls me crazy.

618
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 1: Sometimes people call people crazy out of fear because he

619
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:37,960
Speaker 1: doesn't understand that we don't know nothing about He probably

620
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:39,360
Speaker 1: never thought that he was going to ever have a

621
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:46,000
Speaker 1: transgender chrial. And it is a lot of times people

622
00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:48,319
Speaker 1: be thinking that it's a phase, when this is really

623
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 1: who you are. I never had any like some people

624
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:56,279
Speaker 1: I have. People ask me like, was there something that

625
00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:58,239
Speaker 1: happened to you as a child that made you do this.

626
00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:01,840
Speaker 1: I never was raped, I never was molested. I never

627
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:05,880
Speaker 1: was like my mother and father were married when I

628
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:07,480
Speaker 1: grew up. I grew up in a household. Both my

629
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:10,279
Speaker 1: parents were married. My father worked. My mother didn't work.

630
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 1: She was home, She cooked, she cleaned, she was always home.

631
00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:17,480
Speaker 1: So I grew up in I guess the the idea home.

632
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:22,960
Speaker 1: My brothers aren't gay or leg or transgender. My sister

633
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:28,520
Speaker 1: isn't a lesbian. How so my sister and I My

634
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:31,880
Speaker 1: sister is older than me, and when I told her

635
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:36,480
Speaker 1: that I wanted to transition, she basically told me I

636
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 1: don't agree with it. I don't think you should do it.

637
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:41,759
Speaker 1: I don't think it's safe. Why do you have to go?

638
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:46,759
Speaker 1: And um do all of you know? It's a little

639
00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:50,839
Speaker 1: bit deeper. She was like, I'm the only girl, and

640
00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:53,480
Speaker 1: I can't see you as the girl because I'm the

641
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:56,560
Speaker 1: only girl and you know. So it went from I'm

642
00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:58,960
Speaker 1: scared for you too. No no, no, no, no, I'm

643
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:00,839
Speaker 1: the only girl. You're you're not going to be a girl.

644
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:05,319
Speaker 1: So we didn't talk for a whole year. One. We

645
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:08,080
Speaker 1: didn't talk for years. She just texted me in January

646
00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:09,520
Speaker 1: like happy New Year. I don't want to start to

647
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:13,480
Speaker 1: new year off without speaking to you. I was like, okay,

648
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:19,160
Speaker 1: happy New Year. So, because I feel like when when

649
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:20,759
Speaker 1: we go through a lot of stuff, it can be

650
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,480
Speaker 1: the only So, what are some things that you need

651
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:25,360
Speaker 1: to keep your spirits? So I built up on the

652
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:31,160
Speaker 1: major online community. I got so much for my online community,

653
00:39:31,239 --> 00:39:35,120
Speaker 1: and there I have so many amazing friends who are

654
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:37,920
Speaker 1: like teaching me how to become the woman that I

655
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:40,799
Speaker 1: am today. I went and bought my first grow, I

656
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:46,879
Speaker 1: bought a double D bra because I didn't know how

657
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:49,440
Speaker 1: do you make? You think know how to? And that

658
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:54,200
Speaker 1: was a boy myself into Target and I'm like, how

659
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:57,759
Speaker 1: do I buy what size the work? So I went

660
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:00,120
Speaker 1: on YouTube and YouTube taught me how to buy the

661
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:05,440
Speaker 1: braw sides. But you don't have anybody I do, but

662
00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:09,239
Speaker 1: the majority of the work comes from me. They have

663
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:14,280
Speaker 1: their own lives. I'm not a child, You're not a child.

664
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:16,160
Speaker 1: But I also think that we should be there for

665
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 1: each other. You know, they were though I had they were.

666
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:21,960
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say nobody wasn't there for me. But

667
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:24,000
Speaker 1: a lot of the work, a lot of the understanding

668
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:26,719
Speaker 1: of my womanhood come from me doing the work by myself,

669
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:31,520
Speaker 1: and it was just it was normal for me, and

670
00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:34,560
Speaker 1: I thought it was normal because I have been doing

671
00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:37,160
Speaker 1: everything for myself since the early on. That's all I

672
00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:40,200
Speaker 1: knew was to take care of myself and be super

673
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:43,360
Speaker 1: duper independent. I'm not used to anybody ever doing anything

674
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:47,799
Speaker 1: for me, so that that was I guess that was

675
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:51,920
Speaker 1: was my mental spect state. But they were. I have

676
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:56,239
Speaker 1: a lot of friends who I would confide in and

677
00:40:56,400 --> 00:41:02,800
Speaker 1: like going through the whole name change process, was very difficult, difficult.

678
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:06,279
Speaker 1: Um First of all, it's very expensive. I think I

679
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:09,960
Speaker 1: spent like six hundred, seven hundred dollars getting my name

680
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:14,640
Speaker 1: and gender change. I had to get I had to

681
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:18,240
Speaker 1: get letters from my um endochronologists, had to get letters

682
00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:20,479
Speaker 1: from my primary doctor. I had to get a letter

683
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:24,040
Speaker 1: from my therapist, and all of them had to state

684
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:26,520
Speaker 1: you know that I've been going to I've been on hormones,

685
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:30,000
Speaker 1: which is true, and I've been actively seeing a physician.

686
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 1: And this is not something I'm doing out of me

687
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:36,720
Speaker 1: running away from like a dead or something. I'm really

688
00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:39,920
Speaker 1: feeling like I'm a woman and I need this for me.

689
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:44,040
Speaker 1: That they get their name changed because they might have

690
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 1: a lawsuit and they're trying to run away from lawsuit.

691
00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:50,399
Speaker 1: I didn't know that until I went and got my name.

692
00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:53,319
Speaker 1: People go and change your name trying to run away

693
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:59,920
Speaker 1: from child support criminals. Yes, yes they tried, but they

694
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:05,360
Speaker 1: can't because yeah can't be trying to see on the system.

695
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:07,520
Speaker 1: So it was a lengthy process. I had to go

696
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:11,480
Speaker 1: to the courts, and one of the great things, I

697
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:16,440
Speaker 1: couldn't afford it. So my online community that I built

698
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:19,799
Speaker 1: on Instagram, I started to go find me and they

699
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:25,720
Speaker 1: they they donated all of the money from the whole

700
00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:30,440
Speaker 1: seven hundred and fifty dollars came from my Facebook and

701
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:40,160
Speaker 1: Instagram really dawn and they I was actively campaigning and

702
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:41,480
Speaker 1: I was like, you guys, I need to get my

703
00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:44,200
Speaker 1: name changed because I need this, is this and this

704
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:47,399
Speaker 1: mess and they were rooting for me. They were like, yo,

705
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:49,799
Speaker 1: we wanted to see you happy. And I was so surprised.

706
00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:54,239
Speaker 1: I didn't think that nobody actually cared until that's seven

707
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:58,880
Speaker 1: hundred and fifty dollars came and it happened. I was like, Okay, wait,

708
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 1: the light bulb went off. Okay, you got something that

709
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:05,120
Speaker 1: these people are enjoying. So you need to really develop

710
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:13,040
Speaker 1: who you are. Mm hmm, that's beautiful. And the issue

711
00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:17,040
Speaker 1: came with my birth certificate because on my birth certificate

712
00:43:17,080 --> 00:43:22,080
Speaker 1: they needed to change from male to female and how

713
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:24,600
Speaker 1: long does it? How long does that process take? So

714
00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:26,520
Speaker 1: I went to court. They gave me a court day.

715
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:29,840
Speaker 1: I went to the court with all my documents, didn't

716
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:33,560
Speaker 1: submit the documents, gave me another day to go meet

717
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:36,680
Speaker 1: with the judge. Got up there, the judge grants it,

718
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:40,080
Speaker 1: He goes through the documents, he grants it. Then I

719
00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:43,279
Speaker 1: have to go get a fingerprint and background level three

720
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:47,400
Speaker 1: fingerprint and background check, which is a federal level government level.

721
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:53,560
Speaker 1: After that, once cleared, I've been um then they'll let

722
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:55,520
Speaker 1: me know that if I was granted or denied. Then

723
00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 1: I go pick up the court order that says you've

724
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:03,040
Speaker 1: been granted um M, your name change and your gender

725
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:05,719
Speaker 1: change on it. He specifically put your your name and

726
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:09,880
Speaker 1: gender is changing on your social Security, birth certificate, school records,

727
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:12,600
Speaker 1: any type of record that there exists. My name and

728
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:18,600
Speaker 1: gender is changed permanently. Oh wow. And so now I

729
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:22,200
Speaker 1: went and got my I D, which that's female. And

730
00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:24,560
Speaker 1: that was a hassle too, because I was going out

731
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:26,960
Speaker 1: and of course I looked like a woman, but I

732
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:30,520
Speaker 1: got a male I D. Oh. I didn't even think

733
00:44:30,520 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 1: about that. That was so hard because the bouncers and

734
00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:42,000
Speaker 1: securities are looking at me like they look you under

735
00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:44,759
Speaker 1: down the side, you up and down. Everybody is just

736
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:49,880
Speaker 1: it's like you feel ostracized, and they had to be uncomfortable.

737
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:52,360
Speaker 1: It was very uncomfortable. So when I finally got that

738
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:54,919
Speaker 1: I D. And now when I strolled up to the door,

739
00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:57,560
Speaker 1: he was like okay, bam. I'm like, okay, you know

740
00:44:57,680 --> 00:45:03,600
Speaker 1: it feels amazing. Damn. I didn't even think about that,

741
00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:07,000
Speaker 1: like things that you don't think nothing about girl in

742
00:45:07,160 --> 00:45:11,880
Speaker 1: T s A, Oh God, or through T s A.

743
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:14,840
Speaker 1: I didn't travel when I didn't have my um I

744
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:18,759
Speaker 1: D changed. I did not travel because I said, oh,

745
00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:21,719
Speaker 1: yes I did. I traveled to Washington, d C. And

746
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 1: I had to de transition to travel. So what the

747
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:28,680
Speaker 1: problem was My breath stop going, my face are changing,

748
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:32,120
Speaker 1: is changing, but I gotta go on the flight. My

749
00:45:32,239 --> 00:45:36,000
Speaker 1: idea is not updated. My I D shows a different person. Wait,

750
00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 1: so when you say de transition, that means you have

751
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:40,600
Speaker 1: to stop taking the harm. Yes, I was already taking hormones,

752
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:44,400
Speaker 1: my body changing. So what I did was where I

753
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:47,000
Speaker 1: had just put my wig on. I had this some

754
00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:51,120
Speaker 1: beautiful Malaysian curly hair. I went on and took my

755
00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:56,560
Speaker 1: wig off, stripped myself after everything, and I tried to

756
00:45:56,680 --> 00:46:00,279
Speaker 1: HiPE my boobs under like a big shirt. And I

757
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:05,080
Speaker 1: went to the airport try to be basically, try to

758
00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:08,400
Speaker 1: look like the picture on my I D so that

759
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:10,759
Speaker 1: I could just get through, because I know if I

760
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:14,560
Speaker 1: go through T s A as I am, I'm not

761
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:16,719
Speaker 1: gonna be able to get on this flight. They're gonna

762
00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:22,360
Speaker 1: turn me away. M hm. It was the most humiliating

763
00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:28,120
Speaker 1: thing ever. Wow. I got to d C. I had

764
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:32,319
Speaker 1: an amazing time in d C. And I came back

765
00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:34,640
Speaker 1: from DC and I was like, Okay, I need to

766
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 1: get this name change is gender change on this I

767
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:41,680
Speaker 1: d just can't. I can't do this no more. Wow.

768
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:44,040
Speaker 1: I'm very I'm really happy that you was able to

769
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:46,680
Speaker 1: get all that takenre. Like I said, I think a

770
00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 1: lot of things that we take for granted to others.

771
00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:52,560
Speaker 1: It may be like yo, like find like you know

772
00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:54,520
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like it's very eye open in the

773
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:57,800
Speaker 1: hair you say that. So I'm so happy for you.

774
00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:01,839
Speaker 1: So what is some what some advice you will give

775
00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:05,080
Speaker 1: to your younger self? The advice I would give to

776
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:07,600
Speaker 1: First of all, I would, if I know what I

777
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:09,799
Speaker 1: know now, I would stop my transition at six team.

778
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:11,319
Speaker 1: And the reason why I say I would just stop

779
00:47:11,360 --> 00:47:14,840
Speaker 1: my transition earlier on is because you get better results

780
00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:18,759
Speaker 1: when you're younger. Your body is not fully developed. You

781
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:25,520
Speaker 1: have a chance for the hormones to do such tremendous things.

782
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:28,960
Speaker 1: I started that, Yeah, you're young, you're still growing, you're

783
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:31,680
Speaker 1: still going through puberty. So now you you have the

784
00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:36,640
Speaker 1: advantage of taking your hormones and really getting becoming that

785
00:47:36,719 --> 00:47:39,760
Speaker 1: girl that you want to be. You. You know, because

786
00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:42,440
Speaker 1: you take the hormones, they make your skin softer, they

787
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:45,320
Speaker 1: make your face more feminine, and they grow your breast.

788
00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:48,279
Speaker 1: They change the shape for your body, and so you

789
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:51,839
Speaker 1: have such a tender age that when it's happening, you

790
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:55,000
Speaker 1: can buy the time you get in your twenties, you're developed.

791
00:47:56,960 --> 00:48:01,560
Speaker 1: Speaking of hormones, what are some side effects? I have nausea,

792
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:06,320
Speaker 1: like certain smells that you want to vomit, um, moving

793
00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:10,160
Speaker 1: not and moot swings in the beginning. Yes, because it's

794
00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:18,040
Speaker 1: all chemical. The brain is powerful. Um, I would say. Also, um,

795
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:24,399
Speaker 1: cold sweats, hot flashes, Oh my god, yes, as if

796
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:28,719
Speaker 1: you would think I was on a period girl, all

797
00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:33,399
Speaker 1: of those side effects and um emotional. I've never been

798
00:48:33,560 --> 00:48:36,440
Speaker 1: the emotional type. I was the type of you know,

799
00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:39,560
Speaker 1: if something happens, we're either gonna discuss it, we're gonna

800
00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:41,040
Speaker 1: we're gonna do what we're gonna need to do, and

801
00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:50,120
Speaker 1: then I'm gonna let it go. I'm just emotional. And

802
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:52,120
Speaker 1: she was in my therapist is like, this is what

803
00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:55,399
Speaker 1: I told you. It's more than your transition is more

804
00:48:55,440 --> 00:49:00,760
Speaker 1: than a physical transition. You are mentally changing and all kimming.

805
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:07,200
Speaker 1: You know, on my previous episodes, I talked a lot

806
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:09,480
Speaker 1: about therapy and like, I'm right now, I'm looking for

807
00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:11,400
Speaker 1: a therapist because it takes time. It takes time to

808
00:49:11,440 --> 00:49:16,280
Speaker 1: find a good therapy, good theratists like my sister. Oh God,

809
00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:18,800
Speaker 1: I was about to ask you, how has therapy to

810
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:23,600
Speaker 1: help you? My therapy has been amazing because we got

811
00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:26,080
Speaker 1: down to the root of a lot of things, like

812
00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:29,160
Speaker 1: the reason why I do certain things that I was doing.

813
00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:32,239
Speaker 1: And she was like, you know a lot of things

814
00:49:32,239 --> 00:49:34,759
Speaker 1: you were doing you were seeking validation because for a

815
00:49:34,760 --> 00:49:37,439
Speaker 1: long time you felt invalidated. You were trying to get

816
00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:40,160
Speaker 1: somebody to accept you because you you always wanted your

817
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:42,239
Speaker 1: mom to accept you. So everybody you ain't counting, you

818
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:46,040
Speaker 1: want them to accept you. So we got down to

819
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:48,000
Speaker 1: the root of that. We got down to the root

820
00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:51,080
Speaker 1: of why I waited so long. They have sex, which

821
00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:53,400
Speaker 1: is because my mom had put in my head that

822
00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:56,160
Speaker 1: if I had sex before marriage, you know, that's the

823
00:49:56,160 --> 00:50:00,359
Speaker 1: worst thing before God, and I want to do something God,

824
00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:03,480
Speaker 1: Lord Jesus no. And she heard that in my mind

825
00:50:03,680 --> 00:50:05,920
Speaker 1: and so a lot of things I was doing was

826
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:09,719
Speaker 1: based on what I was taught as a child, and

827
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:13,680
Speaker 1: I had to unlearn a lot and make the things

828
00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:15,920
Speaker 1: for myself on what it is that I want to

829
00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:21,799
Speaker 1: do and get out of my own way impeding. You know,

830
00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:25,239
Speaker 1: she makes me say affirmations every day. She makes me

831
00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:27,960
Speaker 1: put myself on the forefront and say like, I need

832
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:31,680
Speaker 1: you to face those fears, and really, she said, I

833
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:34,160
Speaker 1: need to talk about it. You don't have a chance

834
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:35,799
Speaker 1: to sit back and hold it, and you're gonna talk

835
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:38,479
Speaker 1: about everything, even if it hurts and you're gonna cry

836
00:50:38,480 --> 00:50:40,759
Speaker 1: it out. You're gonna be happy, but you're going to

837
00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:42,360
Speaker 1: discuss it and and you're gonna get it out of you.

838
00:50:44,360 --> 00:50:47,479
Speaker 1: So I advise everybody to go get there. Mental health

839
00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:50,080
Speaker 1: is so important. Please go get some mental health. Go

840
00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:55,600
Speaker 1: go need somebody. And you know, in our community, we

841
00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:58,480
Speaker 1: don't talk a lot about mental health like I think

842
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:01,359
Speaker 1: now it's starting to become. Yeah, when you're looking more

843
00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:06,040
Speaker 1: so many celebrities going through these big major milkdowns, You're like, Okay,

844
00:51:06,120 --> 00:51:11,919
Speaker 1: something that's going on. Yeah, and the New Age, these

845
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:16,399
Speaker 1: kids are suffering a lot of um depression and what's

846
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:20,480
Speaker 1: that They're all anxiety and they're on these drugs. You know,

847
00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:24,840
Speaker 1: anxiety is real, and they feel very anxious and they're scared,

848
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:28,160
Speaker 1: and it's just like, Okay, what what is causing people

849
00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:32,080
Speaker 1: to feel so much fear? What something has to be

850
00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:35,480
Speaker 1: going on? And and and I used to be fearful

851
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:38,160
Speaker 1: to go places because my cousin used to tell me, you,

852
00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:39,719
Speaker 1: when you come to a room, you don't even look

853
00:51:39,719 --> 00:51:42,120
Speaker 1: at nobody in eyes because I was so scared to

854
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:45,960
Speaker 1: look at people because I'm like, oh my god, they're

855
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:47,759
Speaker 1: gonna look at me, they gonna know I'm trans. And

856
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:50,719
Speaker 1: if you know I'm trans, Oh my god. So what

857
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:52,920
Speaker 1: if they know that you're trans? So what if they

858
00:51:52,920 --> 00:51:56,120
Speaker 1: see that you are trans or you're transitioning. Every girl

859
00:51:56,200 --> 00:52:00,520
Speaker 1: has to start somewhere. You're not gonna be like this

860
00:52:00,719 --> 00:52:02,920
Speaker 1: most the most beautiful girl in the world. When you

861
00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:05,160
Speaker 1: first transition, your body has to change, You have to

862
00:52:05,160 --> 00:52:09,080
Speaker 1: go through a whole process. You have to really d

863
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:12,880
Speaker 1: construct and reconstruct, like a lot of things have to

864
00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:16,279
Speaker 1: transpire before you become the girl that you really want

865
00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:17,960
Speaker 1: to be. And you have to put in their words.

866
00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:22,919
Speaker 1: And I think it's also important that what you touch

867
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:25,120
Speaker 1: on is it is not you can't put a time

868
00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:27,719
Speaker 1: on things like you have to go through that process.

869
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:34,040
Speaker 1: You really got to go through the process. So I

870
00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:36,560
Speaker 1: think that you have been very informative. I mean I

871
00:52:36,680 --> 00:52:41,560
Speaker 1: learned the things, but I think that the um most importantly,

872
00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:45,200
Speaker 1: what is some advice that you would give to our listeners,

873
00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:49,560
Speaker 1: the most important advice gives to any woman. And now

874
00:52:49,560 --> 00:52:53,600
Speaker 1: I say three things. Make sure that your mental health

875
00:52:53,680 --> 00:52:57,799
Speaker 1: is in check. Health is wealth mental health and your

876
00:52:57,800 --> 00:53:00,680
Speaker 1: physical health and check. Make sure that you're healthy. Make

877
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:02,600
Speaker 1: sure that you're going to the doctors. You know what's

878
00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:05,400
Speaker 1: going on in your body, you know how you flow in,

879
00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:09,759
Speaker 1: you know, and please make that the number one priority

880
00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:12,560
Speaker 1: before anything. You know what's going on with your mind

881
00:53:12,600 --> 00:53:19,719
Speaker 1: and body, being the best version of you. Put yourself

882
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:23,440
Speaker 1: first because no one is going to take care of you.

883
00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:26,720
Speaker 1: You are responsible for yourself. You have to do whatever

884
00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:29,759
Speaker 1: it takes so that you can be happy. And if

885
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:32,920
Speaker 1: that means separating yourself from people, if you have to

886
00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:36,719
Speaker 1: separate yourself from your mama, do that. Do whatever you

887
00:53:36,760 --> 00:53:39,279
Speaker 1: need to do because your happiness is a part of

888
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:42,800
Speaker 1: you having a healthy life and a healthy mental state.

889
00:53:43,760 --> 00:53:49,279
Speaker 1: And lastly, I would saying, bitch, be the baddest bitch

890
00:53:49,320 --> 00:53:54,840
Speaker 1: in the room. Like, like you know, whenever I go anywhere,

891
00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:56,640
Speaker 1: I'm just the baddest bitch in the room. I just

892
00:53:56,719 --> 00:53:58,840
Speaker 1: am not gonna let nobody upstage me because I just

893
00:53:58,880 --> 00:54:05,400
Speaker 1: feel like I'm the greatest around. Listen, I don't think that. Listen,

894
00:54:05,400 --> 00:54:07,920
Speaker 1: that's the best way in this episode be the bestest

895
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:15,640
Speaker 1: bitch in the room. Yo, Thank you so much, listen. Guys,

896
00:54:15,680 --> 00:54:18,480
Speaker 1: if y'all have any questions for my guests, please email

897
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:21,279
Speaker 1: me at hello at the Professional homegirl dot com. I'm

898
00:54:21,280 --> 00:54:24,520
Speaker 1: gonna make sure she gets these questions. We might even

899
00:54:24,520 --> 00:54:26,040
Speaker 1: have to do a following up with a Q and A.

900
00:54:26,280 --> 00:54:28,359
Speaker 1: I think this was all informative, and you know one

901
00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:30,759
Speaker 1: reason why I like your story. I think the reason

902
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:33,520
Speaker 1: why I like your story the most is because, like you,

903
00:54:35,200 --> 00:54:36,880
Speaker 1: nothing happened to you for you to be like this.

904
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:41,080
Speaker 1: You knew you was like this from jump Yeah, And

905
00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:42,879
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people are gonna be able

906
00:54:42,920 --> 00:54:45,160
Speaker 1: to relate to that and find my damn like it's

907
00:54:45,160 --> 00:54:50,239
Speaker 1: gonna be conferencing, you know, so, thank you so much, UM,

908
00:54:50,360 --> 00:54:55,160
Speaker 1: I really appreciate you for taking the time out your day. Um,

909
00:54:55,200 --> 00:54:57,160
Speaker 1: and until next time, guys. Later,