Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, listen to me the same way your
Speaker 1: parents talk to you about finances. At some point in
Speaker 1: your life, if you're an adult, you have to then
Speaker 1: talk to your parents about their finance.
Speaker 2: And that's the fact, because Deval've been talking to me
Speaker 2: about finances like he's my father.
Speaker 3: I am your daddy, touche.
Speaker 4: But when this comes to our parents, it's a whole
Speaker 4: another discussion. Deadass. Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Deval, and
Speaker 4: we're the Ellis's.
Speaker 3: You may know us from posting funny videos.
Speaker 4: With our voice and reading each other publicly as a
Speaker 4: form of therapy.
Speaker 3: Wait, I make you need therapy most days. Wow.
Speaker 4: Oh and one more important thing to mention, we're married, Yes.
Speaker 3: Sir, we are.
Speaker 1: We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of
Speaker 1: li's most taboo topics.
Speaker 4: Things most folks don't want to talk about.
Speaker 1: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass
Speaker 1: is a term that we say every day. So when
Speaker 1: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred
Speaker 1: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Speaker 3: Were about to take philotof to our whole new level.
Speaker 4: Dead ass starts right now.
Speaker 3: Story time. So about two years ago my parents.
Speaker 1: My dad retired last year and we've been trying to
Speaker 1: get my mom to retire ever since then. Right, But
Speaker 1: for the past two years, I've been speaking to my
Speaker 1: parents about finances because the only way my parents were
Speaker 1: going to retire or feel comfortable retiring is if they
Speaker 1: felt like they could sustain their own lifestyle on their own.
Speaker 4: That's fair.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, cool, But you know me, I'm like, yo, dad,
Speaker 1: Mom like, let me retire, you'd be good. My mother,
Speaker 1: being an independent black woman she is, said no, no,
Speaker 1: he had four babies.
Speaker 3: You know, I don't need nobody. I'm fine, I'm fine,
Speaker 3: although she.
Speaker 4: Ain't trying to come over here and watch.
Speaker 3: Your baby at Oh.
Speaker 1: You know my mother, but she she she complains about
Speaker 1: her job every day. So I was talking to her
Speaker 1: about her four and one K and I was explaining
Speaker 1: to her. And this is important for you guys to understand.
Speaker 1: Our parents grew up at a time when there was
Speaker 1: no business acumen, financial security classes for them in the seventies,
Speaker 1: in the sixties, that's not what they were used to.
Speaker 3: Like, my parents didn't even know what a four on
Speaker 3: one K was.
Speaker 1: They just knew that someone said you need to sign
Speaker 1: up for one so that you can have a retirement plan.
Speaker 2: There was also no gambling really with money in that
Speaker 2: like there was a fear of putting money in investments.
Speaker 4: You want to see your money in your bank account?
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, So with that being said, I spoke to
Speaker 1: my mom. I said, yo, moms, these are your options.
Speaker 1: Once I broke down what her options were to her,
Speaker 1: it was almost as if a light bulb went off. Okay,
Speaker 1: And I was just like, you didn't know that you
Speaker 1: could do these things or there were other ways to
Speaker 1: bring in revenue with your four and one k outside
Speaker 1: of it just sitting in your account, and she was
Speaker 1: just like, to be honest, no. And it was in
Speaker 1: that moment that I realized that more people need to
Speaker 1: sit down and have conversations with their parents before they retire.
Speaker 2: All right, karaoke time today, we're talking about financially sound
Speaker 2: parents as you know us as children, uh, become financially
Speaker 2: sound ourselves because it's a process, right, And that was like,
Speaker 2: what do you wanna say for karaoke to day? And
Speaker 2: I'm like the first thing that came to mind was
Speaker 2: this scent thifsan tencent Dalla sinisin Tencent Dalla, She says
Speaker 2: she don't like the pace we moving to slow.
Speaker 4: She want to walk up to with and riis the
Speaker 4: Temple fight.
Speaker 5: Fight and Senta, you got into that, you got into that.
Speaker 5: Don't be in on the karaoke, but you did that
Speaker 5: because that's.
Speaker 2: My roots, baby, So into the world. Shout out Saint Vincent,
Speaker 2: my people. I'm coming to Saint Vincent this year, y'all.
Speaker 3: Eh Blue.
Speaker 4: Actually, by the time this airs, I might have been
Speaker 4: bearing back. We'll see.
Speaker 3: Probably.
Speaker 2: I just need a straight flight. Somebody let me to
Speaker 2: go talk to the Prime Minister. I need a straight
Speaker 2: flight from Atlanta to Scent. That's the only reason why
Speaker 2: I haven't been there, y'all.
Speaker 3: We'll get it done.
Speaker 2: To connected flights done is a bit much. I think
Speaker 2: I've recently found one which is at least one. But man,
Speaker 2: I just need a straight flight. Come on, make it happen,
Speaker 2: Make it happen.
Speaker 4: PM.
Speaker 2: All right, y'all, let's take a break and we're gonna
Speaker 2: get into the meat of the show after we pay
Speaker 2: some bills, so stick around, all right, all right?
Speaker 4: So, yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Remember you having this conversation with your mom a couple
Speaker 2: of times. At first she knew that she had her
Speaker 2: guard up the entire time, like the value, You're not
Speaker 2: gonna tell me what to do at first she stills
Speaker 2: like that, But I'm just saying, like the first couple
Speaker 2: of times you had the conversation before the light bulb
Speaker 2: moment went off in her head where she was like, oh,
Speaker 2: you might have a point. She was literally fighting you
Speaker 2: about it because she's just like, you can't tell me that.
Speaker 2: You can't know more about my life than I know
Speaker 2: about it.
Speaker 1: I'll give y'all a little bit of the breakdown of
Speaker 1: what happens, so y'all can understand how I was explaining
Speaker 1: to her finances. My mom's been working the same job
Speaker 1: since I was little, Like it's just forty years. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so she has she works for the city. She has
Speaker 1: a very good or one K plan, but also a
Speaker 1: very good retirement plan. And all she kept saying to
Speaker 1: me was the val if I work up until this age,
Speaker 1: which is like two more years, I'll get my full
Speaker 1: benefits package. And I said, okay, can you first find
Speaker 1: out what the difference is if you retire now then later?
Speaker 3: And she's like, what you mean?
Speaker 1: I said, Mom, find out what the difference will be
Speaker 1: per month, right, And I said, just listen to me.
Speaker 1: If the difference between you working now and two more
Speaker 1: years is twenty five hundred dollars a month, do you
Speaker 1: understand that you can take your retirement package and everything now.
Speaker 1: With the money that you make taken out of your
Speaker 1: four and one K or your retirement package, you could
Speaker 1: start a business right now, and that additional two zero
Speaker 1: point five or two thousand dollars you could make that
Speaker 1: money with outside revenue by starting another business. Say you
Speaker 1: bought a couple of properties and you rented those properties out.
Speaker 1: Say you bought a subway, Say you bought a T
Speaker 1: mobile store like, say you open up a weed dispensary. Like,
Speaker 1: there's so many things you can do with that money
Speaker 1: to give you additional revenue, but you're only focused on
Speaker 1: getting the maximum amounts of that money because that's what
Speaker 1: you were taught. And she was just like, Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: that's what I was taught. And I said, but Mom,
Speaker 1: there's so many things that have changed from them. And
Speaker 1: that just made me realize that our parents are only
Speaker 1: doing what they know, and it's our responsibility to share
Speaker 1: with them the things that we've learned because the economy
Speaker 1: changes all the time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can speak for my parents, I think coming
Speaker 2: from a scarcity mindset of you know, their past, where
Speaker 2: they come from.
Speaker 4: Like my mom coming up here at seventeen was nothing.
Speaker 2: My dad I think he was nineteen when he came
Speaker 2: up here, and it's like building everything that you have,
Speaker 2: you want to see it. I want to see my money.
Speaker 2: I don't want to owe anybody anything. So my father,
Speaker 2: he will never lease a car because he's like, no,
Speaker 2: I need to save my money up and purchase this
Speaker 2: car because nobody's gonna come for me monthly looking for
Speaker 2: a bill. Or you know, my mom being afraid to
Speaker 2: make investments because she's like, you know, I have this
Speaker 2: money save that. I can see it in my account
Speaker 2: when I log in every day. The money is there.
Speaker 2: I know it's there. So it's trying to build the
Speaker 2: trust with them where they feel comfortable enough to give
Speaker 2: you that leeway to kind of educate them, but then
Speaker 2: also assist them in taking those risks. You know, when
Speaker 2: you see an opportunity that presents itself, because like you said,
Speaker 2: times have changed, opportunities have changed, There's different things to
Speaker 2: invest in, and sometimes they can't foresee that, so it
Speaker 2: might require for us to make the investment first and
Speaker 2: certain things, and they.
Speaker 4: Say, oh, it worked out for you.
Speaker 2: Y'all might know something that you're talking about, because I
Speaker 2: think that most parents, particularly our parents' generation, they kind
Speaker 2: of have one to in one.
Speaker 4: So out with us.
Speaker 2: You know, it's like, I don't know if I fully
Speaker 2: believe that you got go went on what you said
Speaker 2: you got going on. With my father, for example, for
Speaker 2: a long time, did not understand what Deval and I did.
Speaker 4: He was like, it's so key when you say you're
Speaker 4: on YouTube is YouTube? But pay you? Who's YouTube is
Speaker 4: a guy?
Speaker 3: And I like that, who's YouTube?
Speaker 4: YouTube is a guy?
Speaker 2: And I'm like, no, Dad, it's a company. And when
Speaker 2: we put our videos on there, they play ads through it.
Speaker 2: And that's how he said, oh okay, And then to
Speaker 2: this day still doesn't know what we do. However, yeah,
Speaker 2: when we said we were moving from Brooklyn to California
Speaker 2: and then oh, we purchased the house in Georgia and
Speaker 2: he came to the house, he was like, oh, y'all
Speaker 2: must be doing something.
Speaker 4: So YouTube is a nice man to pay y'all, Will
Speaker 4: he pay y'all? So that I can get this house.
Speaker 3: You know why you got? Your father sounded like an invalid.
Speaker 3: Your father don't believe YouTube is a person.
Speaker 4: No more, not anymore.
Speaker 3: But he did.
Speaker 1: But no, your retarded. I don't even know if I
Speaker 1: can say that anymore. You're you're crazy. But what helped
Speaker 1: your father understand was having these conversations. I was telling
Speaker 1: your father for years that he needs to sell rockaway.
Speaker 3: Think about it. No, no, not even years.
Speaker 1: It's been over a decade, yes, right, over a decade
Speaker 1: and for a decade. His mindset was like, no, you know,
Speaker 1: my hold on to it so that when I die,
Speaker 1: I have something to pass down to my kids.
Speaker 4: I died.
Speaker 1: Check the mentality, though, Check the mentality, I said, pops,
Speaker 1: let me ask you a question. Why are you waiting
Speaker 1: until you die to pass something to your children? Wouldn't
Speaker 1: it make more sense to be able to give them
Speaker 1: something while you can watch how they use that investment?
Speaker 1: Or the right said, what if they need the investment
Speaker 1: in this moment? You're gonna tell them you gotta wait
Speaker 1: till I die. Hopefully you don't die for another twenty years,
Speaker 1: hoping right, But if they can use the investment right now,
Speaker 1: why don't you do it? He was just like, I
Speaker 1: think about it when Rockaway started to become more of
Speaker 1: an issue a burden than it was an investment property,
Speaker 1: and I end up taking it over. And I was
Speaker 1: showing him like, yo, you see all this money that
Speaker 1: you're putting out. This is money that you will never
Speaker 1: have to put out again from your retirement account because
Speaker 1: you sell the property. Remember we did a project called
Speaker 1: I mean, we did a podcast called Selling Grandma's House.
Speaker 4: Yes, that was a real people love that.
Speaker 1: People love that. This is an example. Her parents finally
Speaker 1: agreed to sell Rockaway. The minute they sold Rockaway, your
Speaker 1: father's account started to go through the roof because your
Speaker 1: father was paying thousands of dollars a month right.
Speaker 4: That he didn't even realize. I think he don't even know.
Speaker 1: If he knew, he didn't know because they're fixing things
Speaker 1: like he fixing small things, and your dad is old school,
Speaker 1: so he's not gonna call a contractor to come fix something.
Speaker 3: He's gonna call a guy he know, through a guy,
Speaker 3: somebody nephew.
Speaker 4: Who's gonna come buy I'm a pack of beer.
Speaker 1: Who's gonna say oh, They're like, oh yeah, to fix
Speaker 1: the boilers typically eight thousand. He's said he can do
Speaker 1: it for twenty five hundred. Yeah, he'll fix it, but
Speaker 1: it'll only be working for three days. Now, of course
Speaker 1: you're another twenty five hundred to fix it again, and
Speaker 1: before you know it pops. You dodn'et pay this guy
Speaker 1: twenty five hundred every month for the past two years.
Speaker 4: Got it new?
Speaker 2: One time to freaking basketball hoop in the front of
Speaker 2: the house. The water thing on the bottom is cracked,
Speaker 2: so it leaks, it keeps toppling over. I was like, hey,
Speaker 2: let's just throw that out and get the boys a
Speaker 2: new hoop. My father was like, no, no, no, I'm
Speaker 2: going to get two sun back or I'm gonna go
Speaker 2: find a rock and it's gonna be all right. So
Speaker 2: I was like, whatever, Dad. I literally have it in
Speaker 2: my shopping car on Amazon, about to buy a new
Speaker 2: basketball hoop. I'm leaving to go to the store and
Speaker 2: my father found a big ass rock in the back
Speaker 2: and I'm my dad and the rock looks.
Speaker 4: Heavy as hell, So my dad, how did you bring
Speaker 4: this time?
Speaker 3: It was impressive?
Speaker 4: It was tj.
Speaker 3: Oh So it wasn't him.
Speaker 4: It wasn't him.
Speaker 1: Here this whole time, I was like, yo, he never
Speaker 1: told me TJ though, of course he said, when you
Speaker 1: got the whe you got the rock, Pops?
Speaker 3: He said it was in the back. Man, I said,
Speaker 3: I see you, Pops say that's all he said.
Speaker 2: Of course said he didn't tell me that, And TV
Speaker 2: didn't tell me that either, because TJ was probably trying
Speaker 2: to whold Pops down. Who told me that, TJ lift
Speaker 2: up the Papa found a rock, TJ lifted up and
Speaker 2: put it there. Now, now the hoop works. See mommy, look, look, watch,
Speaker 2: look at my goose neck. I'm all right, cas there
Speaker 2: you go.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 2: But that said, my father will not buy, and the
Speaker 2: hoop wasn't super expensive, but he will just refuse to
Speaker 2: buy anything new if it can be patched.
Speaker 1: Your father is an island man, baby, through and through,
Speaker 1: through and through.
Speaker 3: But he ends up selling the property. We take that.
Speaker 3: I spoke to him.
Speaker 1: He takes the property, puts it in an investment account,
Speaker 1: where the not the property. It takes the funds from
Speaker 1: the property, puts it in an investment account.
Speaker 3: Now it's accruing interest.
Speaker 1: Now when they're ready to buy a home, they have
Speaker 1: the liquid capital to buy a home. But on top
Speaker 1: of that, he has three children who are interested in investing.
Speaker 1: One of those children want to do something with investing,
Speaker 1: he can give them X amount of dollars to say,
Speaker 1: go do it right now and watch it. And it
Speaker 1: wasn't until we spoke and talked him into doing that
Speaker 1: that he says, wow, you know, and then you know,
Speaker 1: he says to me, now, should have got rid of
Speaker 1: rock lung.
Speaker 3: Of course, I'm like, yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Love how he says these things as if he's come
Speaker 2: up with them, yeah, revelations. And it's like, bro, we've
Speaker 2: been telling you the same shit over and over again,
Speaker 2: but find out on your own time, like much of
Speaker 2: us have to do.
Speaker 6: Right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I can't even I can't even fault him
Speaker 2: for that. All right, let's jump into some facts and stats.
Speaker 2: The average adult child helping care for an aging parent
Speaker 2: spends on average seven thousand per year on healthcare.
Speaker 1: And I want, I want you guys at home to
Speaker 1: write these down. Write these numbers down, becau, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do a little math with y'all. Seven thousand dollars for
Speaker 1: your own health care, So that on average is about
Speaker 1: what six hundred dollars a month. Just think about that Okay,
Speaker 1: six hundred dollars a month on healthcare for your mom
Speaker 1: and dad.
Speaker 3: Remember that, go ahead.
Speaker 2: Talking to your parents about their finances as they age
Speaker 2: will help you understand your potential responsibility in future circumstances.
Speaker 3: Now, why is there dead?
Speaker 4: Is my debt inherited?
Speaker 3: Save time?
Speaker 2: Your debt is my dead it becomes in something inherited. Yes,
Speaker 2: when they passed, they pass on to you all of
Speaker 2: that burden and responsibility.
Speaker 4: So it's good to get.
Speaker 2: All up in the mix early and be up in
Speaker 2: the kool aid and know the flavor from early, because
Speaker 2: your future could be very, very daunting. And if you're
Speaker 2: marrying somebody that you know, the in law's death is
Speaker 2: I mean, the in laws debt is the same for you.
Speaker 1: Also, their debts can also be to your advantage. For example,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna just throw this in here. Kay's mom had
Speaker 1: a life insurance policy. The life inspurent insurance policy was
Speaker 1: almost three hundred dollars a month.
Speaker 4: Yeah, a month.
Speaker 3: But the policy was for.
Speaker 1: A decent amount of money, yes, she said, because of
Speaker 1: her expenses. And your mom's very independent, she said, Because
Speaker 1: now I'm not working anymore, I don't want to pay
Speaker 1: this life insurance policy anymore. So I'm just gonna let
Speaker 1: it lapse. Me and Kadeen was like, no, you will not.
Speaker 1: She said, what do you mean know you will not? Okay,
Speaker 1: the life insurance policy is three hundred dollars a month.
Speaker 1: It's a huge policy. Sign over the rights of that
Speaker 1: policy to Kadeen. She becomes a an aficiaria. If something
Speaker 1: happens to you, we will take over that payment. So
Speaker 1: we've taken over the payment for three hundred dollars a month. Now,
Speaker 1: remind you, I told you the average American citizen pays
Speaker 1: six hundred dollars a month for health care for their
Speaker 1: parents or for adult care. We cut that in half
Speaker 1: by paying three hundred dollars a month. And when Mimi passes,
Speaker 1: hopefully twenty thirty years down the line, we'll be able
Speaker 1: to take that life insurance policy and split it amongst
Speaker 1: her grandkids. So now she's left something to her grandkids
Speaker 1: that me and Kadeen have invested in that is less
Speaker 1: expensive than the six hundred dollars a month we would
Speaker 1: have to expend on her care. On top of that,
Speaker 1: we chose to move Mimi and Papa with us in
Speaker 1: here to help them have a better quality of life,
Speaker 1: to learn how to take care of themselves so that
Speaker 1: we won't have to expend that additional six hundred dollars
Speaker 1: a month, because a lot of these things can be
Speaker 1: circumvented by having conversations early.
Speaker 2: Yep, when you talk to your parents about money matters,
Speaker 2: choose your timing and words carefully.
Speaker 3: Kadeen is very good at that.
Speaker 1: She's I'm gonna talk to my mom about this and
Speaker 1: make sure that we do it in the right time,
Speaker 1: because you know me, I.
Speaker 2: Like to do things head on, head on, right, Let's
Speaker 2: talk about it right now, let's do it, let's execute
Speaker 2: let's see it.
Speaker 4: It's on the shelf. That what's on the shelf?
Speaker 5: I don't know, but I just thought about it, like
Speaker 5: maybe like hold hold on, hold on now, hold.
Speaker 4: Your horses, hold your horses.
Speaker 2: But no, you also want to speak to your parents
Speaker 2: with respect and not make them feel like their dignity
Speaker 2: is being taken away from them because they are getting older.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: It's just that you can sometimes have the foresight to
Speaker 2: see things that they can't see. Considering the conditions of
Speaker 2: the world now and what we're dealing with from an
Speaker 2: economic standpoint.
Speaker 3: This next one's important, but.
Speaker 2: When talking to your parents about money, try to position
Speaker 2: the conversation as if you're asking for help. This may
Speaker 2: help them be more comfortable opening up about your finances.
Speaker 2: For example, Hey, dad, trying to learn more about retirement plans.
Speaker 2: Can you tell me about yours? You know?
Speaker 4: That's one's one.
Speaker 1: The way I was able to actually break your pops
Speaker 1: was to ask him what his plan was. Every time
Speaker 1: I came to him with an idea, he was not
Speaker 1: interested in my idea.
Speaker 3: It wasn't until I asked him his plan.
Speaker 1: And then when he said to me, when he dies,
Speaker 1: he wanted to leave something for his kids, And I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, that sounds like a dupe plan, but
Speaker 1: why wait till you die? Then, when I said why
Speaker 1: wait till you die, I've seen a light both offends
Speaker 1: head and his life.
Speaker 3: But that's why I think that's important.
Speaker 1: If you pose it in a way where you're trying
Speaker 1: to help or you're asking for help, as opposed to
Speaker 1: make it it seem like I'm gonna know it all
Speaker 1: and you don't know stuff because you're old, right, they'll
Speaker 1: be more inclined to take your advice.
Speaker 2: Of course, and those I'm a genuine standpoint too. Write
Speaker 2: they feel like, oh, Jabe wants to know about what
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 1: Because genuinely I do want to know, because as much
Speaker 1: as we think we know everything, there's a reason why
Speaker 1: they lived this long and have been as successful as
Speaker 1: they've been.
Speaker 3: Maybe he could have taught me something that I didn't know.
Speaker 2: You got to give them the same credit, the same
Speaker 2: way we were all Jackson to listen to us and
Speaker 2: you know, you know there's certain things and they go
Speaker 2: again the same cycle.
Speaker 4: Remind your parents that you want.
Speaker 2: To get a clear picture of their wishes for the
Speaker 2: future and help unburden the family. That's the goal ultimately, right,
Speaker 2: Get clear about wills, power of attorney, and health proxies.
Speaker 3: Okay, this is important.
Speaker 1: Most family issues happen around weddings and funerals. The reason
Speaker 1: why they happen around weddings and funerals is because finances
Speaker 1: are involved. Nobody and family ever want to talk about
Speaker 1: finance and go my finance and my finance as well.
Speaker 1: When someone get married, you got to talk about it,
Speaker 1: and when someone dies, you will definitely have to talk
Speaker 1: about it because we're either going to have to talk
Speaker 1: about expenses for a funeral, or debt, or what's going
Speaker 1: to happen to the property that so and so had
Speaker 1: in their name. And you know what happens when families
Speaker 1: don't discuss these things and it can't get left to anybody,
Speaker 1: It goes to the state.
Speaker 2: That's the last thing y'all want to do is give
Speaker 2: them people more money. Come on now, seriously, and particularly
Speaker 2: healthcare proxies too. You don't want someone to be incapacitated
Speaker 2: or incapacitated or unable to make their own decisions. Talk
Speaker 2: about it, and then it's an argument over somebody's bed.
Speaker 2: Talk about what should be happening. So to put those
Speaker 2: things in place early and reach out to professionals for
Speaker 2: legal and financial advice, so whoever's in charge of the
Speaker 2: estate making sure that somebody else. Sometimes it helps to
Speaker 2: have a party that's not biased, that's not involved, not connected,
Speaker 2: not family, not a friend, that can just give you
Speaker 2: a clear cut explanation of how to move forward with
Speaker 2: further investments and things of those natures.
Speaker 1: Now, I did not go to YouTube university or learn
Speaker 1: about finances.
Speaker 3: A god Brother is a certified CFP.
Speaker 4: Sewn has been on the podcast before.
Speaker 3: I yes, he's been. Sean Freeman, that's my guy.
Speaker 1: Part of the reason why our empire is the way
Speaker 1: it is is because I've always asked questions of a
Speaker 1: professional from the time I was in the NFL until now.
Speaker 1: I always say, Okay, Sean, we have two plans. I
Speaker 1: need a short term plan to generate revenue consistently, but
Speaker 1: I need a long term plan to take care of
Speaker 1: my family. And to be honest, you don't have to
Speaker 1: choose one or the other. You have to find a
Speaker 1: way to implement both so that you can live the
Speaker 1: life you want to live now while giving the people
Speaker 1: you love the life you want for them later on.
Speaker 3: So always speak to a professional.
Speaker 1: Don't just go try to figure things out on your
Speaker 1: own or take gambles or guests or no. Speak to
Speaker 1: people who've done it the right way. And when I
Speaker 1: say speak speak to people, don't ask me. Contact your
Speaker 1: certified financial planner or CPA or anybody who has who
Speaker 1: went to school to do this and ask them how
Speaker 1: to build out your wealth plan.
Speaker 4: Did your parents ever have an unhealthy relationship with money?
Speaker 3: Yes, grow yes, I know my dad does. My dad
Speaker 3: so frugal.
Speaker 1: My dad keeps cash upstairs in his room that he
Speaker 1: counts every night like Scrooge McDuck.
Speaker 3: We should call him Scoop McDuck from now when that's
Speaker 3: his new name is Scoop McDuck.
Speaker 1: He counts it every single night, like my father loves
Speaker 1: to see cash in his hand.
Speaker 3: And because of.
Speaker 2: That, when it comes to why, I.
Speaker 1: Think, because of that, neither one of them have a
Speaker 1: healthy relationship with investing outside of buying property. Because at
Speaker 1: a time, and this is important for people to understand too,
Speaker 1: they'll always tell you, oh, if you buy property, if
Speaker 1: you buy property, it's the best thing you can do.
Speaker 1: They will say that because back in the seventies and
Speaker 1: the eighties, when they were buying properties, for example, a
Speaker 1: brick house in New York City at the time, the
Speaker 1: same brick houses going for one to two million dollars.
Speaker 1: Now they're going for forty thousand dollars. So yeah, it
Speaker 1: was a lot easier than to get a home for
Speaker 1: forty thousand dollars. When my parents were buying properties, it
Speaker 1: was about one twenty. The same property that my parents
Speaker 1: bought for one hundred and twenty k it maybe the
Speaker 1: most two hundred thousand in KENARSI nineteen hundred square feet
Speaker 1: are now going for seven hundred thousand dollars, So our
Speaker 1: generation doesn't have the same ability to say, hey, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna save up a couple bucks. Put down twenty percent
Speaker 1: on an eighty thousand dollar home. Twenty percent on an
Speaker 1: eighty thousand dollars home is sixteen thousand dollars. Twenty percent
Speaker 1: on a seven hundred thousand dollars home is one hundred
Speaker 1: and forty thousand dollars. Most people will never be able
Speaker 1: to save one hundred and forty thousand dollars in their life,
Speaker 1: So us as millennials or gen Z will not be
Speaker 1: able to make the same financial plans as our parents.
Speaker 1: So we had to find new ways to generate revenue.
Speaker 1: So since we found new ways, it's important for us
Speaker 1: to share those new ways because our parents are now
Speaker 1: retiring in this economy. They're not retiring in that economy
Speaker 1: where they just bought property, and I mean they're stuck there.
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, they're definitely stuck there.
Speaker 1: And that's the poor relationship with money that I feel
Speaker 1: like our parents have. They still look at money as
Speaker 1: the way the economy is, the way it was when
Speaker 1: they first started making money, but that was forty years ago,
Speaker 1: so much has changed, and forty years from now, it's
Speaker 1: probably going to be bitcoin and a whole bunch of
Speaker 1: stuff that I'm not going to understand, and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be like, yo, Jack, Yo, Jacks, my.
Speaker 3: Man, what are you doing?
Speaker 4: What are you doing?
Speaker 3: I invested all of this money for you to go
Speaker 3: to school. Man, let me know, help me, help me?
Speaker 3: Jackson helped me.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: No, it's true.
Speaker 2: Even and my parents will say thing unhealthy relationship with money.
Speaker 2: They want to see their money in their hands, they
Speaker 2: want to know that it's there, but also to think
Speaker 2: about us. We for a period of time had that
Speaker 2: unhealthy relationship with money where we were just like watching
Speaker 2: every dime they came in and went. And then we
Speaker 2: realized too. Once we kind of just relinquished that and said,
Speaker 2: you know what, it's money. You have to spend it
Speaker 2: to make it. Absolutely, let's just do what we got
Speaker 2: to do. It started coming back in in abundance because
Speaker 2: we just kind of let it do what it was
Speaker 2: supposed to be do. We let our money work for us.
Speaker 3: Well, it didn't just come in abundance because we let
Speaker 3: it do.
Speaker 4: I mean we worked hard, we worked hard, but I.
Speaker 3: Also listened to Sean.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and when he when he explained to me how
Speaker 1: money really is just a tool. Like money is not
Speaker 1: a thing that you're supposed to keep in your account
Speaker 1: as a shrine to honor yourself.
Speaker 3: A lot of people do that, right, I look at
Speaker 3: all this money I made.
Speaker 1: Now, I'm a look at this money I made so
Speaker 1: I can feel better but myself, that's not what money
Speaker 1: was used for. Money was only created as a barter tool,
Speaker 1: So you're supposed to use that money for other things.
Speaker 1: That's really what You're not supposed to just collect the
Speaker 1: money like Scrooge McDuck. Once you have the money, you're
Speaker 1: supposed to find ways to utilize this tool because while
Speaker 1: you're young, you can always make what more money?
Speaker 4: Yep, that's always the hope.
Speaker 1: But our parents was you make it in saved because
Speaker 1: a lot of our parents came from places where they
Speaker 1: didn't get opportunities to make a lot of money. So
Speaker 1: you keep it aside for a rainy day, just in
Speaker 1: case something happens. And our parents come from the generation
Speaker 1: that they work till sixty five. Our generation does not
Speaker 1: want to. I don't want to work for nobody till
Speaker 1: sixty five. I don't So for me, it was like,
Speaker 1: let me find the best way. Right we're gonna work
Speaker 1: for these gigs. Let me find the best way to
Speaker 1: utilize this tool. And I started to find ways in
Speaker 1: a quick way. Just to tell you guys, is I
Speaker 1: use the five X rule. The five X rules. So
Speaker 1: the five EX rule for me is this, if I
Speaker 1: make ten dollars, I know the government is going to
Speaker 1: take forty percent of that ten dollars, So forty percent
Speaker 1: of that ten dollars would be four dollars.
Speaker 3: With that four dollars, I'm not going to give it
Speaker 3: to the government.
Speaker 1: I am going to take half of that money, which
Speaker 1: is two dollars, and I'm going to try the five
Speaker 1: exit because that five X will give me what.
Speaker 3: Another ten dollars.
Speaker 1: So I'll take two dollars out of that four and
Speaker 1: I will find a business or an investment or a
Speaker 1: project that I can put the money in and turn
Speaker 1: that two dollars which would have went to the government
Speaker 1: to ten. And in what you do you rents and repeat,
Speaker 1: and you rent and repeat, and what happens is your
Speaker 1: money the simple ten dollars that you would have made
Speaker 1: gave the government four took three, paid your bills, took
Speaker 1: another two, you know, enjoyed yourself and in that one
Speaker 1: dollar you would have saved it.
Speaker 4: This is a different kind of and then renting your
Speaker 4: money or washing your money.
Speaker 6: What you're saying, you gotta rint it, you gotta wash
Speaker 6: your money.
Speaker 1: But you see what I'm saying, that's typically how the
Speaker 1: normal person lives. I make ten dollars, I pay the government,
Speaker 1: I pay my bills, I do something for myself, and
Speaker 1: I save a dollar. Most people, even if you think
Speaker 1: about biblical times, you tie ten percent. So if I
Speaker 1: have ten dollars, if I can save one were the
Speaker 1: course of years, it's like, nah, I'm not giving the
Speaker 1: government four dollars. I'm going to pay my taxes, but
Speaker 1: I'm going to take two of that and I'm going
Speaker 1: to invest this.
Speaker 3: We have another ten dollars.
Speaker 1: So now not only do I have ten dollars, I
Speaker 1: make ten dollars from working, but now I make ten
Speaker 1: dollars for my business.
Speaker 3: Now I have twenty dollars.
Speaker 1: So now twenty percent of that twenty dollars, not twenty percent.
Speaker 1: I take that money rather than paying forty percent to
Speaker 1: the government, which would have been eight dollars, it's four dollars.
Speaker 1: Take the four dollars and I do what with it?
Speaker 1: Five exit Now I got twenty somewhere from ten to
Speaker 1: twenty twenty to forty forty to eighty.
Speaker 3: And that's how you build out wealth. It takes time.
Speaker 3: It just takes time.
Speaker 2: That is super dope. I hope y'all picked up on that.
Speaker 2: The five X thing. That's really and that's a good one.
Speaker 2: I don't even realize that's what we do, but that.
Speaker 4: Is what we do. And that's literally.
Speaker 1: We did it with property, we did it with the podcast,
Speaker 1: We did it with the live shows. I'll give y'all
Speaker 1: into a quick insight, just really quick insight about business.
Speaker 1: How and why do we do the podcast live shows? Right,
Speaker 1: we don't have any sponsors. Our sponsors are ourselves. I
Speaker 1: make money doing the Teama insists the money that I
Speaker 1: make doing the Team and Sisters, the government is going
Speaker 1: to tax me forty percent. So what I do is
Speaker 1: I say, I'm not that forty percent that I would
Speaker 1: have given to the government. I'm going to take half
Speaker 1: of that forty percent and I'm going to invest that
Speaker 1: in another project that's going to make us more money
Speaker 1: for us, for Kadeen and I that's everything else you see,
Speaker 1: all of the content we create, all the properties we
Speaker 1: start oping. I am looking to open up a weed dispensary.
Speaker 1: But all of the things you see come from one project.
Speaker 1: And when we first started that one project was what
Speaker 1: the gym. The gym YEP and the gym led us
Speaker 1: into doing more content on social media. Part of the way,
Speaker 1: I was able to shout out to my man Josh
Speaker 1: over here.
Speaker 3: Josh.
Speaker 1: Part of the reason why Kadeen and I were able
Speaker 1: to transition into being full time content creators is during
Speaker 1: the time when I was still at the gym, I
Speaker 1: used to pay Josh monthly to come out to La
Speaker 1: to film some of the content. That money that I
Speaker 1: spent to job that we use to create more content
Speaker 1: brought in five x of the money I spent to Josh.
Speaker 1: That money I then was able to use to build
Speaker 1: out another platform. But it all started from the gym.
Speaker 1: I saved that money in and I was just like, I'm
Speaker 1: going to just continue the five X rule, and that's
Speaker 1: always been my plan. You can't look it up, that's
Speaker 1: just my plan. I call it the five X rule.
Speaker 1: So I always try to five x my money.
Speaker 2: I invest coin that shot. All right, y'all, let's take
Speaker 2: a quick break and in the sake of in the
Speaker 2: vein of paying bills, let's do that, and we're gonna
Speaker 2: move into listen nutters when we come back.
Speaker 4: Bow stick around, y'all.
Speaker 2: All right, we're back. Let's dive right into these listener letters. First,
Speaker 2: let me say you guys are dope. I've been listening
Speaker 2: for from the UK for a hot minute now and
Speaker 2: love the topics you discussed since the days of Jackson
Speaker 2: is Tim shoot and roro keiki?
Speaker 4: Do you love ten years Agoe?
Speaker 2: I know, I know you love context, so let's hope
Speaker 2: this ain't too extra Okay, thank you.
Speaker 4: Thank you for the intro.
Speaker 2: Girl appreciate that getting married, growing a family, and building
Speaker 2: a legacy was the intention, but unfortunately my negligence in
Speaker 2: the wrong choice of men has delayed that dream for me.
Speaker 2: I'm now a single mom of two incredible brown boys,
Speaker 2: focusing on our little family strength and strengthening our spirituality.
Speaker 2: Kse statement about having autonomy over our time is the
Speaker 2: ultimate goal. Building a business where I'm able to be
Speaker 2: the best mother I can be while being present for
Speaker 2: them and providing for them is what drives me. However,
Speaker 2: I'm stuck. The struggle is real. I've made so many sacrifices.
Speaker 2: For example, we have not been on holiday for seven years,
Speaker 2: no self care days, no extra spending, scaling back whenever possible,
Speaker 2: and I'm working as much as I can, but trying
Speaker 2: to save on a budget. With growing boys to provide
Speaker 2: for and little external help, no financial support, we were
Speaker 2: barely making it through the time the months. Sometimes I've
Speaker 2: tried to put my dreams to the back of my mind.
Speaker 4: But the older they get eight and fourteen this year.
Speaker 2: Yeah, to think of it, the harder it becomes and
Speaker 2: the more frustrating it becomes at times, not being able
Speaker 2: to provide for them how I want to. I have
Speaker 2: all the ideas, everything lined up, ready to start, but
Speaker 2: can't seem to be able to get a startup fund
Speaker 2: to make these dreams a reality.
Speaker 3: What happens?
Speaker 2: Yep, I feel stuck in a system. I just want
Speaker 2: to have control over my time, be financially secure, and
Speaker 2: give back to those that have helped our little family,
Speaker 2: brightening up my little corner of the world, if you will,
Speaker 2: and then pay it forward by helping others in similar
Speaker 2: positions as myself and show my boys, the world and
Speaker 2: the process. Any guidance for a struggling single mom trying
Speaker 2: to make it? How can I get a business startup
Speaker 2: loan with bad credit? Thank you for taking time to
Speaker 2: read my life letter. Big up to them, four handsome
Speaker 2: boys and blessings from the most High to you and
Speaker 2: your beautiful family.
Speaker 4: Thank you so much. I received that all right money man.
Speaker 2: When I feel it her though, I feel her how
Speaker 2: that feels to just feel like, damn, I can't catch
Speaker 2: my footing right.
Speaker 1: The first thing I realize is that she's doing it
Speaker 1: by herself. So kudos to her for doing it by herself.
Speaker 1: And that's unfortunate that she has to do it by herself.
Speaker 4: Knowing that she desires to be with someone.
Speaker 1: But I do wonder though she says she sacrificed a lot,
Speaker 1: you know, seven years not doing any holidays, no self
Speaker 1: care days, no extra spending, but it's impossible to keep up.
Speaker 1: I don't know the laws in the UK. I don't
Speaker 1: know the laws in the UK, but I do know this.
Speaker 1: The easiest way to quote unquote save money, which is
Speaker 1: not really saving money, is to whatever your business strategy
Speaker 1: or business plan is, start in LLC. Yes, that costs money.
Speaker 1: But when you start in LLC and you register your
Speaker 1: LLC as an escort, Now an LLC just removes liability.
Speaker 1: Your tax status will still be the same until you
Speaker 1: register as an escorporate. Escorp changes your tax status. Once
Speaker 1: your tax status changes, now you can be a small business.
Speaker 1: Once you're a small business and you have a business,
Speaker 1: you have the right to invest in your business. When
Speaker 1: you invest in your business, that is a tax write off.
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying. So now rather than making
Speaker 1: all of your money, and like I said, I don't
Speaker 1: know all of the tax laws in the UK, but
Speaker 1: I know in the United States, if you make a
Speaker 1: certain amount of money, right they're going to tax you
Speaker 1: at a certain rate if you don't have any right offs.
Speaker 1: And the easiest way to get right offs is to
Speaker 1: start a business. When you make, like I said, ten dollars,
Speaker 1: rather than giving the government three dollars, you take a
Speaker 1: dollar and a half. You invest it in your business
Speaker 1: because that money would have been going anyway. Think about it,
Speaker 1: and that's the important part. I said, Well, why do
Speaker 1: you take half of what you would have took to
Speaker 1: the government, because you're still going to have to pay
Speaker 1: taxes to the government. But what you don't want to
Speaker 1: do is just give all that money to the government
Speaker 1: and not see it. So you start a business so
Speaker 1: that you can ultimately make that money grow. Right, So
Speaker 1: rather than just taking making all your money, take your money,
Speaker 1: start an LLC. That money that you would have given
Speaker 1: the government invested. And people said, what if I invest
Speaker 1: it and I lose it? This is my clear mindset.
Speaker 1: If I wouldn't have invested it and just gave it
Speaker 1: to the government, I would.
Speaker 4: Have lost it anyway.
Speaker 3: Don't we talk about that all the time.
Speaker 2: I'm always going to vow, like you sure I can
Speaker 2: get this right now, and he just like, get it,
Speaker 2: get it. It's for the business anyway, and they're gonna
Speaker 2: take the money anyways, to go ahead and get it.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, all right, we'll say less.
Speaker 1: And what it does is it puts your soul at
Speaker 1: rest because it's like, well, actually, now I'm actually.
Speaker 3: Playing with someone else's money.
Speaker 1: Technically you are, because that money that they would have
Speaker 1: taken with you is technically the government's money. But before
Speaker 1: you give it to them, use as much as you
Speaker 1: can for yourself. And the thing is the government incentivizes
Speaker 1: people who get LLC's and start businesses because they want
Speaker 1: more people to start business. The problem is most people
Speaker 1: try to just get up as much money as they
Speaker 1: can and then they throw their money in the business
Speaker 1: without doing full research on the business. Do research on
Speaker 1: the business. Don't just like I said before, don't just
Speaker 1: jump out here on the women. Go to YouTube. Speak
Speaker 1: to a certified financial planner. Find out what you can
Speaker 1: say or what you can afford to invest in or
Speaker 1: invest with. Stick to that plan and be consistent that
Speaker 1: one dollar will turn into two, will turn into four,
Speaker 1: will turn into eight, and then before you know it,
Speaker 1: it's like, hey, I have all of these extra funds
Speaker 1: that I can use, or you can do like we do,
Speaker 1: Uncle Sam, stop listening. But since we are influencers and entertainers,
Speaker 1: we have to travel in order to create content. If
Speaker 1: you understand what I'm saying without understanding what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: So when we travel, I'm here, you know I'm here,
Speaker 1: but I'm not here. When you travel to create content,
Speaker 1: you're not on vacation. You're working, so you can write
Speaker 1: it off. If you understand what I'm saying some of it.
Speaker 1: You understand what I'm saying and what I'm saying is
Speaker 1: you can find ways when you have an LLC or
Speaker 1: you have a business to enjoy your life. You understand
Speaker 1: what I'm saying and not feel like you're stuck just
Speaker 1: going away.
Speaker 2: So that was kind of stuck something to tell her.
Speaker 2: She just says she wants to build a business. So
Speaker 2: my approach to that, and she didn't say what builds
Speaker 2: the business? It was but like Devosi, if you start
Speaker 2: the LLC, find a niche market for something that is needed.
Speaker 1: And talking you said you didn't know what to say,
Speaker 1: but you said exactly what you're supposed to say. Find
Speaker 1: a niche market and something that you're passionate about that
Speaker 1: wouldn't be an additional job, it's something that you do
Speaker 1: enjoy with and provide a service. The easiest way to
Speaker 1: start a business is provide a service in a place
Speaker 1: somewhere near or around that you live, or do doing
Speaker 1: something that you're passionate about, because then your second business
Speaker 1: is not a job.
Speaker 4: That's your passion to other people.
Speaker 3: And turn your passion into your paycheck.
Speaker 4: Here you go, passionate to your paycheck.
Speaker 2: I love that all right, Onto our final listening letter
Speaker 2: of the day.
Speaker 3: Wh Hey KK and Deval.
Speaker 1: I first like to say that I'm a huge fan
Speaker 1: of your work and the beautiful family that you two
Speaker 1: have created together. Thank you so much. We appreciate you.
Speaker 1: It's truly inspiring. I'll get right to it. My husband
Speaker 1: and I have been married for seven years together nine
Speaker 1: we're both active duty military. Due to recent promotions both
Speaker 1: for both of us in our careers, we have been
Speaker 1: separated due to training schools and deployments for the last
Speaker 1: two and a half years. Sorry to hear that, and
Speaker 1: thank you for your service. It has caused a strain
Speaker 1: on our marriage. When my husband came to visit me
Speaker 1: back in September from his deployment, I felt he was
Speaker 1: too invested in his phone and not the time we
Speaker 1: had together. I went through the phone and saw that
Speaker 1: there had been an exchange on Snapchat between him and
Speaker 1: a woman who he used to date. I waited until
Speaker 1: he left and confronted him about I waited until he
Speaker 1: left and confronted him about it. I wonder why she
Speaker 1: waited until he left. I waited until he left and
Speaker 1: confronted him about it. Since then, I've deployed, I've apologized
Speaker 1: for how I approached it. We've both started therapy, but
Speaker 1: he don't talk. Oh, but we don't talk. I asked
Speaker 1: him about working things out, and when I bring up
Speaker 1: the future, he is avoidant and has no answers. We
Speaker 1: have a five year old son. He only calls and
Speaker 1: puts our son on the phone and doesn't exchange with
Speaker 1: me directly. My husband has expressed recently that he doesn't
Speaker 1: feel that we are each other's person, that he's losing
Speaker 1: his attraction to me because of my attitude and this
Speaker 1: is not how he envisioned his family. That he is
Speaker 1: in a constant state of mental chaos to be a
Speaker 1: good father and ousland, but knows he's not trying his best.
Speaker 1: He acknowledges that my attitude comes from his actions and
Speaker 1: that he broke a level of trust, but something just
Speaker 1: seems to prevent him from wanting to try to make
Speaker 1: it work. I still love my husband very much and
Speaker 1: want to work on things. It hurts that the person
Speaker 1: I want to be with said has said in a
Speaker 1: multitude of ways, through words and actions, that he pretty
Speaker 1: much doesn't want things to work out. How long can
Speaker 1: I keep praying he has a change of heart. No
Speaker 1: more time you get to stop praying that he has
Speaker 1: a change of heart. When people show you and tell
Speaker 1: you who they are, believe that or should I start
Speaker 1: preparing for what it will look like if he does
Speaker 1: decide he wants to divorce, because that's what it feels
Speaker 1: like is coming to any and all. The vice is
Speaker 1: helpful because at this point it's affecting my work. I'm
Speaker 1: in a constant state of worry and just overall heartbroken.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I pray this letter gets to you, guys,
Speaker 1: and God bless I'm.
Speaker 2: So sorry you're heartbroken, and you know, having to exist
Speaker 2: like that. First of all, just not even being in
Speaker 2: the same space with your spouse for like two and
Speaker 2: a half years, that's tough to deal with. Deval and
Speaker 2: I have done the long distance thing when you were
Speaker 2: in the league, and even now to this day, when
Speaker 2: Devoup's filming or something and he's a way, we just
Speaker 2: literally cannot go.
Speaker 1: I know, I'm bad. I can't do without my wife.
Speaker 1: I need my wife and vice versa. If I'm away
Speaker 1: and I can't get her on the phone or if
Speaker 1: I can't get her on FaceTime, I'm pissed's I'm in
Speaker 1: a bad mood.
Speaker 4: I always know what it is and I'm just like,
Speaker 4: he just missed me.
Speaker 3: I do be missing you. I don't know how people.
Speaker 3: I don't know how people do long distance relationships. That's
Speaker 3: a special ministry.
Speaker 4: It really is.
Speaker 2: But he's told you in every way but the way
Speaker 2: you wanted to hear it, that he is not invested
Speaker 2: anymore or invested the same way that you are. So
Speaker 2: I feel at this point, because he's shown you who
Speaker 2: he is and he's been transparent about it, it's best
Speaker 2: if you just give him what he wants and work
Speaker 2: on yourself and think about how you'll be able to
Speaker 2: pick up the pieces and move forward and have a
Speaker 2: really good co parenting relationship for your five.
Speaker 4: Year old son.
Speaker 3: I disagree with one thing.
Speaker 1: Fuck giving him what he wants, sweetheart, get what you want.
Speaker 1: You don't want to live like this. Remember you said
Speaker 1: you said give you said you know, if he what
Speaker 1: he wants.
Speaker 3: I know what you mean.
Speaker 1: I'm saying, fuck, give him what he wants, what you
Speaker 1: need for your life, because you don't want to live
Speaker 1: like that. So since you don't want to live like this,
Speaker 1: go get what you want. Because if you if you
Speaker 1: frame it as give him what he wants, then it's
Speaker 1: like when I'm doing this for you, and that can
Speaker 1: be you.
Speaker 3: Don't give him that power.
Speaker 4: I see what you mean, and I'm.
Speaker 1: Not saying fun. What I'm saying is he's showing you
Speaker 1: in a multitude of ways what he wants. Right, ask
Speaker 1: yourself what you want, and if that's not what you want,
Speaker 1: take control of what you want. You want a different
Speaker 1: life with a spouse that will be supportive. Hopefully you don't.
Speaker 1: You guys don't have to live long distance because I
Speaker 1: honestly feel like the long distance is what you guys
Speaker 1: weren't prepared for. Yeah, I don't think he's a bad guy.
Speaker 1: I don't think you a bad woman like I don't.
Speaker 1: We don't know enough about your relationship to place blame, right,
Speaker 1: But what I'm saying is that you don't know you
Speaker 1: you know you don't want this, and since you know
Speaker 1: you don't want this, be honest with him about what
Speaker 1: you don't want, and then you move accordingly.
Speaker 4: It takes the power in her hand, Yes.
Speaker 1: And that's what she needs because she's heartbroken, and I
Speaker 1: don't want her to sit there and be heartbroken. If
Speaker 1: you mentioned she's fighting for us in our country, you know,
Speaker 1: thank you for your service.
Speaker 4: A mental strain, emotional strain on everyone.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, you got a five year old son. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: But first of all, both of you, thank you for
Speaker 1: your service. We appreciate you because we wouldn't be able
Speaker 1: to live in our freedoms that we have if it
Speaker 1: weren't for people like you who sacrifice families in time
Speaker 1: with each other, yeah, to protect our freedom. So much
Speaker 1: love to both of y'all, not just you, but both
Speaker 1: of y'all, and your son for being you know he
Speaker 1: has to sacrifice too, both of his parents are fighting
Speaker 1: for our country. So shout out to all three y'all,
Speaker 1: regardless of whether y'all stay together or work it out.
Speaker 4: Sounds good to me.
Speaker 2: If you want to be featured as a listener letter,
Speaker 2: email us at dead ass Advice at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: That's d E A D A S S A D
Speaker 1: V I C E at gmail dot com.
Speaker 4: All right, moment of truth time, like you packing it up?
Speaker 4: Where you going.
Speaker 3: To be honest with you? Baby? I'm tired. I'm freaking tired.
Speaker 2: We had to go to the kids going on today,
Speaker 2: we had to deal with the.
Speaker 1: Death and the family. We did not sleep much last night.
Speaker 1: We're exhausted. But you know what, we're here.
Speaker 3: We are here. Are we here?
Speaker 1: Because K calling them might get.
Speaker 4: It's also allergy season out here and heavy U in
Speaker 4: at o so.
Speaker 3: But no, we are here.
Speaker 1: We appreciate you guys so much that we actually enjoy this.
Speaker 1: This is our time to kind of get away and
Speaker 1: talk about the things we're going through.
Speaker 2: Talk about some other things, but we're talking today about
Speaker 2: financially sound parents and teaching our parents about finances the
Speaker 2: same way they have taught us, and how things have
Speaker 2: changed over time.
Speaker 4: Yes, so my moment of truth, I guess I go
Speaker 4: first today?
Speaker 3: Baby is.
Speaker 4: Now you just lie, you go first? But I had
Speaker 4: it and just literally this is she's.
Speaker 3: Just brain farted. No, listen, this is my moment of truth.
Speaker 1: This Never is never too early in a relationship with
Speaker 1: your parents to start discussing with them their retirement plan,
Speaker 1: because the earlier you figure it out, the more time
Speaker 1: you get to help them with that plan. So for me,
Speaker 1: now that I think about it, when my parents were,
Speaker 1: you know, starting to get on that age of fifty,
Speaker 1: you know, I was the time twenty eight, twenty eight.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're right there, you're right there, not mi though
Speaker 3: I got twenty five more years.
Speaker 1: I should have started talking to them at that point
Speaker 1: so that the conversation doesn't come out of nowhere.
Speaker 3: You know, what's your retirement plan?
Speaker 1: Dad?
Speaker 3: What's your retirement plan?
Speaker 1: Mom? I just want to know, you know, a couple
Speaker 1: months go by, has anything changed in the retirement plan?
Speaker 1: You know, ask them questions, have you looked at this
Speaker 1: in your retirement plan? Because once you've opened the door
Speaker 1: to have that discussion, when it comes time for them
Speaker 1: to retire, it doesn't seem like it's caught off guard.
Speaker 1: It's like, oh, we've been discussing this, so let's move
Speaker 1: collectively as a group.
Speaker 2: That's so funny you say that, because it just came
Speaker 2: back to me. I was going to say that. As
Speaker 2: much as Deval and I talk about transparency and communication
Speaker 2: within romantic relationships, that same transparency and communication should also
Speaker 2: be extended to familial relationships, acc particularly parents. So it
Speaker 2: becomes that much easier high five five. It becomes that
Speaker 2: much easier for your parents to maintain or build a
Speaker 2: level of trust with you, so that way they will
Speaker 2: feel more empowered.
Speaker 3: You win it right now?
Speaker 4: Go ahead?
Speaker 5: I like it.
Speaker 4: Go ahead. It was a good moment of truth.
Speaker 2: That's you know, they'll feel more empowered to allow you
Speaker 2: to help them make the necessary investments and changes so
Speaker 2: that they can financially benefit as well as you in
Speaker 2: the long run.
Speaker 3: Kadel y'all.
Speaker 2: Ellis my brain be working when it wants just a
Speaker 2: little chippy.
Speaker 3: I love your brain.
Speaker 4: Chill Chill. Find us on Patreon, y'all, because that's where
Speaker 4: we at.
Speaker 2: And I won't even say that the content is that
Speaker 2: much cleaner over there.
Speaker 3: Because it's not.
Speaker 4: We've been cutting up. On Patreon, y'all.
Speaker 2: You can see exclusive dead Ass podcast content as well
Speaker 2: as more extended Ellis Family content, and you can find
Speaker 2: us on social media at dead Ass the Podcast.
Speaker 3: I'm Kadeen I am and don't forget that.
Speaker 1: If you want to be featured as one of our
Speaker 1: listener letters, you can email us at then ask Advice
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com.
Speaker 4: We did, We did that already. See your brain Fried.
Speaker 3: My brain Fred Well.
Speaker 6: I am devour And if you're listening on Apple podcast,
Speaker 6: be sure to rate, review and subscribe, and make sure
Speaker 6: you pick up your copy of We over Meet the
Speaker 6: counterintuitive approach you getting everything you want out of your relationship.
Speaker 1: We should do a family one. We over Meet the Family. Addition,
Speaker 1: kids to parents, Parents to.
Speaker 2: Kids, Doom Doom, Doom, Stay Tuned Baby, dead Ass.
Speaker 1: Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast network and
Speaker 1: it's produced by Donor, Opinia and Triple Follow the podcast
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