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Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, listen to me the same way your

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Speaker 1: parents talk to you about finances. At some point in

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Speaker 1: your life, if you're an adult, you have to then

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Speaker 1: talk to your parents about their finance.

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Speaker 2: And that's the fact, because Deval've been talking to me

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Speaker 2: about finances like he's my father.

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Speaker 3: I am your daddy, touche.

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Speaker 4: But when this comes to our parents, it's a whole

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Speaker 4: another discussion. Deadass. Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Deval, and

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Speaker 4: we're the Ellis's.

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Speaker 3: You may know us from posting funny videos.

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Speaker 4: With our voice and reading each other publicly as a

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Speaker 4: form of therapy.

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Speaker 3: Wait, I make you need therapy most days. Wow.

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Speaker 4: Oh and one more important thing to mention, we're married, Yes.

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Speaker 3: Sir, we are.

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Speaker 1: We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of

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Speaker 1: li's most taboo topics.

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Speaker 4: Things most folks don't want to talk about.

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Speaker 1: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass

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Speaker 1: is a term that we say every day. So when

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Speaker 1: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred

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Speaker 1: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

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Speaker 3: Were about to take philotof to our whole new level.

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Speaker 4: Dead ass starts right now.

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Speaker 3: Story time. So about two years ago my parents.

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Speaker 1: My dad retired last year and we've been trying to

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Speaker 1: get my mom to retire ever since then. Right, But

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Speaker 1: for the past two years, I've been speaking to my

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Speaker 1: parents about finances because the only way my parents were

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Speaker 1: going to retire or feel comfortable retiring is if they

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Speaker 1: felt like they could sustain their own lifestyle on their own.

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Speaker 4: That's fair.

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Speaker 1: So I'm like, cool, But you know me, I'm like, yo, dad,

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Speaker 1: Mom like, let me retire, you'd be good. My mother,

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Speaker 1: being an independent black woman she is, said no, no,

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Speaker 1: he had four babies.

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Speaker 3: You know, I don't need nobody. I'm fine, I'm fine,

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Speaker 3: although she.

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Speaker 4: Ain't trying to come over here and watch.

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Speaker 3: Your baby at Oh.

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Speaker 1: You know my mother, but she she she complains about

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Speaker 1: her job every day. So I was talking to her

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Speaker 1: about her four and one K and I was explaining

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Speaker 1: to her. And this is important for you guys to understand.

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Speaker 1: Our parents grew up at a time when there was

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Speaker 1: no business acumen, financial security classes for them in the seventies,

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Speaker 1: in the sixties, that's not what they were used to.

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Speaker 3: Like, my parents didn't even know what a four on

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Speaker 3: one K was.

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Speaker 1: They just knew that someone said you need to sign

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Speaker 1: up for one so that you can have a retirement plan.

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Speaker 2: There was also no gambling really with money in that

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Speaker 2: like there was a fear of putting money in investments.

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Speaker 4: You want to see your money in your bank account?

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, So with that being said, I spoke to

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Speaker 1: my mom. I said, yo, moms, these are your options.

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Speaker 1: Once I broke down what her options were to her,

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Speaker 1: it was almost as if a light bulb went off. Okay,

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Speaker 1: And I was just like, you didn't know that you

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Speaker 1: could do these things or there were other ways to

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Speaker 1: bring in revenue with your four and one k outside

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Speaker 1: of it just sitting in your account, and she was

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Speaker 1: just like, to be honest, no. And it was in

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Speaker 1: that moment that I realized that more people need to

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Speaker 1: sit down and have conversations with their parents before they retire.

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Speaker 2: All right, karaoke time today, we're talking about financially sound

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Speaker 2: parents as you know us as children, uh, become financially

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Speaker 2: sound ourselves because it's a process, right, And that was like,

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Speaker 2: what do you wanna say for karaoke to day? And

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Speaker 2: I'm like the first thing that came to mind was

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Speaker 2: this scent thifsan tencent Dalla sinisin Tencent Dalla, She says

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Speaker 2: she don't like the pace we moving to slow.

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Speaker 4: She want to walk up to with and riis the

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Speaker 4: Temple fight.

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Speaker 5: Fight and Senta, you got into that, you got into that.

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Speaker 5: Don't be in on the karaoke, but you did that

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Speaker 5: because that's.

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Speaker 2: My roots, baby, So into the world. Shout out Saint Vincent,

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Speaker 2: my people. I'm coming to Saint Vincent this year, y'all.

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Speaker 3: Eh Blue.

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Speaker 4: Actually, by the time this airs, I might have been

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Speaker 4: bearing back. We'll see.

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Speaker 3: Probably.

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Speaker 2: I just need a straight flight. Somebody let me to

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Speaker 2: go talk to the Prime Minister. I need a straight

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Speaker 2: flight from Atlanta to Scent. That's the only reason why

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Speaker 2: I haven't been there, y'all.

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Speaker 3: We'll get it done.

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Speaker 2: To connected flights done is a bit much. I think

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Speaker 2: I've recently found one which is at least one. But man,

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Speaker 2: I just need a straight flight. Come on, make it happen,

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Speaker 2: Make it happen.

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Speaker 4: PM.

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Speaker 2: All right, y'all, let's take a break and we're gonna

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Speaker 2: get into the meat of the show after we pay

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Speaker 2: some bills, so stick around, all right, all right?

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Speaker 4: So, yeah, I.

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Speaker 2: Remember you having this conversation with your mom a couple

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Speaker 2: of times. At first she knew that she had her

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Speaker 2: guard up the entire time, like the value, You're not

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Speaker 2: gonna tell me what to do at first she stills

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Speaker 2: like that, But I'm just saying, like the first couple

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Speaker 2: of times you had the conversation before the light bulb

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Speaker 2: moment went off in her head where she was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: you might have a point. She was literally fighting you

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Speaker 2: about it because she's just like, you can't tell me that.

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Speaker 2: You can't know more about my life than I know

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Speaker 2: about it.

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Speaker 1: I'll give y'all a little bit of the breakdown of

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Speaker 1: what happens, so y'all can understand how I was explaining

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Speaker 1: to her finances. My mom's been working the same job

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Speaker 1: since I was little, Like it's just forty years. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so she has she works for the city. She has

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Speaker 1: a very good or one K plan, but also a

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Speaker 1: very good retirement plan. And all she kept saying to

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Speaker 1: me was the val if I work up until this age,

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Speaker 1: which is like two more years, I'll get my full

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Speaker 1: benefits package. And I said, okay, can you first find

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Speaker 1: out what the difference is if you retire now then later?

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Speaker 3: And she's like, what you mean?

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Speaker 1: I said, Mom, find out what the difference will be

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Speaker 1: per month, right, And I said, just listen to me.

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Speaker 1: If the difference between you working now and two more

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Speaker 1: years is twenty five hundred dollars a month, do you

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Speaker 1: understand that you can take your retirement package and everything now.

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Speaker 1: With the money that you make taken out of your

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Speaker 1: four and one K or your retirement package, you could

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Speaker 1: start a business right now, and that additional two zero

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Speaker 1: point five or two thousand dollars you could make that

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Speaker 1: money with outside revenue by starting another business. Say you

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Speaker 1: bought a couple of properties and you rented those properties out.

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Speaker 1: Say you bought a subway, Say you bought a T

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Speaker 1: mobile store like, say you open up a weed dispensary. Like,

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Speaker 1: there's so many things you can do with that money

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Speaker 1: to give you additional revenue, but you're only focused on

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Speaker 1: getting the maximum amounts of that money because that's what

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Speaker 1: you were taught. And she was just like, Yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: that's what I was taught. And I said, but Mom,

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Speaker 1: there's so many things that have changed from them. And

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Speaker 1: that just made me realize that our parents are only

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Speaker 1: doing what they know, and it's our responsibility to share

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Speaker 1: with them the things that we've learned because the economy

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Speaker 1: changes all the time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I can speak for my parents, I think coming

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Speaker 2: from a scarcity mindset of you know, their past, where

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Speaker 2: they come from.

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Speaker 4: Like my mom coming up here at seventeen was nothing.

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Speaker 2: My dad I think he was nineteen when he came

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Speaker 2: up here, and it's like building everything that you have,

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Speaker 2: you want to see it. I want to see my money.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to owe anybody anything. So my father,

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Speaker 2: he will never lease a car because he's like, no,

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Speaker 2: I need to save my money up and purchase this

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Speaker 2: car because nobody's gonna come for me monthly looking for

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Speaker 2: a bill. Or you know, my mom being afraid to

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Speaker 2: make investments because she's like, you know, I have this

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Speaker 2: money save that. I can see it in my account

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Speaker 2: when I log in every day. The money is there.

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Speaker 2: I know it's there. So it's trying to build the

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Speaker 2: trust with them where they feel comfortable enough to give

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Speaker 2: you that leeway to kind of educate them, but then

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Speaker 2: also assist them in taking those risks. You know, when

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Speaker 2: you see an opportunity that presents itself, because like you said,

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Speaker 2: times have changed, opportunities have changed, There's different things to

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Speaker 2: invest in, and sometimes they can't foresee that, so it

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Speaker 2: might require for us to make the investment first and

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Speaker 2: certain things, and they.

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Speaker 4: Say, oh, it worked out for you.

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Speaker 2: Y'all might know something that you're talking about, because I

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Speaker 2: think that most parents, particularly our parents' generation, they kind

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Speaker 2: of have one to in one.

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Speaker 4: So out with us.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's like, I don't know if I fully

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Speaker 2: believe that you got go went on what you said

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Speaker 2: you got going on. With my father, for example, for

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Speaker 2: a long time, did not understand what Deval and I did.

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Speaker 4: He was like, it's so key when you say you're

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Speaker 4: on YouTube is YouTube? But pay you? Who's YouTube is

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Speaker 4: a guy?

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Speaker 3: And I like that, who's YouTube?

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Speaker 4: YouTube is a guy?

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, no, Dad, it's a company. And when

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Speaker 2: we put our videos on there, they play ads through it.

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Speaker 2: And that's how he said, oh okay, And then to

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Speaker 2: this day still doesn't know what we do. However, yeah,

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Speaker 2: when we said we were moving from Brooklyn to California

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Speaker 2: and then oh, we purchased the house in Georgia and

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Speaker 2: he came to the house, he was like, oh, y'all

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Speaker 2: must be doing something.

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Speaker 4: So YouTube is a nice man to pay y'all, Will

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Speaker 4: he pay y'all? So that I can get this house.

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Speaker 3: You know why you got? Your father sounded like an invalid.

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Speaker 3: Your father don't believe YouTube is a person.

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Speaker 4: No more, not anymore.

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Speaker 3: But he did.

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Speaker 1: But no, your retarded. I don't even know if I

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Speaker 1: can say that anymore. You're you're crazy. But what helped

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Speaker 1: your father understand was having these conversations. I was telling

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Speaker 1: your father for years that he needs to sell rockaway.

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Speaker 3: Think about it. No, no, not even years.

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Speaker 1: It's been over a decade, yes, right, over a decade

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Speaker 1: and for a decade. His mindset was like, no, you know,

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Speaker 1: my hold on to it so that when I die,

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Speaker 1: I have something to pass down to my kids.

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Speaker 4: I died.

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Speaker 1: Check the mentality, though, Check the mentality, I said, pops,

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Speaker 1: let me ask you a question. Why are you waiting

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Speaker 1: until you die to pass something to your children? Wouldn't

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Speaker 1: it make more sense to be able to give them

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Speaker 1: something while you can watch how they use that investment?

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Speaker 1: Or the right said, what if they need the investment

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Speaker 1: in this moment? You're gonna tell them you gotta wait

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Speaker 1: till I die. Hopefully you don't die for another twenty years,

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Speaker 1: hoping right, But if they can use the investment right now,

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Speaker 1: why don't you do it? He was just like, I

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Speaker 1: think about it when Rockaway started to become more of

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Speaker 1: an issue a burden than it was an investment property,

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Speaker 1: and I end up taking it over. And I was

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Speaker 1: showing him like, yo, you see all this money that

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Speaker 1: you're putting out. This is money that you will never

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Speaker 1: have to put out again from your retirement account because

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Speaker 1: you sell the property. Remember we did a project called

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Speaker 1: I mean, we did a podcast called Selling Grandma's House.

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Speaker 4: Yes, that was a real people love that.

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Speaker 1: People love that. This is an example. Her parents finally

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Speaker 1: agreed to sell Rockaway. The minute they sold Rockaway, your

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Speaker 1: father's account started to go through the roof because your

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Speaker 1: father was paying thousands of dollars a month right.

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Speaker 4: That he didn't even realize. I think he don't even know.

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Speaker 1: If he knew, he didn't know because they're fixing things

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Speaker 1: like he fixing small things, and your dad is old school,

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Speaker 1: so he's not gonna call a contractor to come fix something.

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Speaker 3: He's gonna call a guy he know, through a guy,

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Speaker 3: somebody nephew.

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Speaker 4: Who's gonna come buy I'm a pack of beer.

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Speaker 1: Who's gonna say oh, They're like, oh yeah, to fix

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Speaker 1: the boilers typically eight thousand. He's said he can do

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Speaker 1: it for twenty five hundred. Yeah, he'll fix it, but

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Speaker 1: it'll only be working for three days. Now, of course

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Speaker 1: you're another twenty five hundred to fix it again, and

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Speaker 1: before you know it pops. You dodn'et pay this guy

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Speaker 1: twenty five hundred every month for the past two years.

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Speaker 4: Got it new?

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Speaker 2: One time to freaking basketball hoop in the front of

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Speaker 2: the house. The water thing on the bottom is cracked,

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Speaker 2: so it leaks, it keeps toppling over. I was like, hey,

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Speaker 2: let's just throw that out and get the boys a

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Speaker 2: new hoop. My father was like, no, no, no, I'm

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Speaker 2: going to get two sun back or I'm gonna go

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Speaker 2: find a rock and it's gonna be all right. So

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Speaker 2: I was like, whatever, Dad. I literally have it in

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Speaker 2: my shopping car on Amazon, about to buy a new

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Speaker 2: basketball hoop. I'm leaving to go to the store and

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Speaker 2: my father found a big ass rock in the back

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Speaker 2: and I'm my dad and the rock looks.

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Speaker 4: Heavy as hell, So my dad, how did you bring

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Speaker 4: this time?

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Speaker 3: It was impressive?

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Speaker 4: It was tj.

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Speaker 3: Oh So it wasn't him.

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Speaker 4: It wasn't him.

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Speaker 1: Here this whole time, I was like, yo, he never

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Speaker 1: told me TJ though, of course he said, when you

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Speaker 1: got the whe you got the rock, Pops?

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Speaker 3: He said it was in the back. Man, I said,

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Speaker 3: I see you, Pops say that's all he said.

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Speaker 2: Of course said he didn't tell me that, And TV

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Speaker 2: didn't tell me that either, because TJ was probably trying

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Speaker 2: to whold Pops down. Who told me that, TJ lift

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Speaker 2: up the Papa found a rock, TJ lifted up and

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Speaker 2: put it there. Now, now the hoop works. See mommy, look, look, watch,

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Speaker 2: look at my goose neck. I'm all right, cas there

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Speaker 2: you go.

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Speaker 3: All right.

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Speaker 2: But that said, my father will not buy, and the

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Speaker 2: hoop wasn't super expensive, but he will just refuse to

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Speaker 2: buy anything new if it can be patched.

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Speaker 1: Your father is an island man, baby, through and through,

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Speaker 1: through and through.

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Speaker 3: But he ends up selling the property. We take that.

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Speaker 3: I spoke to him.

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Speaker 1: He takes the property, puts it in an investment account,

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Speaker 1: where the not the property. It takes the funds from

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Speaker 1: the property, puts it in an investment account.

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Speaker 3: Now it's accruing interest.

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Speaker 1: Now when they're ready to buy a home, they have

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Speaker 1: the liquid capital to buy a home. But on top

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Speaker 1: of that, he has three children who are interested in investing.

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Speaker 1: One of those children want to do something with investing,

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Speaker 1: he can give them X amount of dollars to say,

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Speaker 1: go do it right now and watch it. And it

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Speaker 1: wasn't until we spoke and talked him into doing that

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Speaker 1: that he says, wow, you know, and then you know,

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Speaker 1: he says to me, now, should have got rid of

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Speaker 1: rock lung.

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Speaker 3: Of course, I'm like, yeah, yeah, I.

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Speaker 2: Love how he says these things as if he's come

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Speaker 2: up with them, yeah, revelations. And it's like, bro, we've

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Speaker 2: been telling you the same shit over and over again,

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Speaker 2: but find out on your own time, like much of

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Speaker 2: us have to do.

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Speaker 6: Right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So I can't even I can't even fault him

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Speaker 2: for that. All right, let's jump into some facts and stats.

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Speaker 2: The average adult child helping care for an aging parent

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Speaker 2: spends on average seven thousand per year on healthcare.

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Speaker 1: And I want, I want you guys at home to

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Speaker 1: write these down. Write these numbers down, becau, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: do a little math with y'all. Seven thousand dollars for

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Speaker 1: your own health care, So that on average is about

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Speaker 1: what six hundred dollars a month. Just think about that Okay,

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Speaker 1: six hundred dollars a month on healthcare for your mom

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Speaker 1: and dad.

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Speaker 3: Remember that, go ahead.

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Speaker 2: Talking to your parents about their finances as they age

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Speaker 2: will help you understand your potential responsibility in future circumstances.

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Speaker 3: Now, why is there dead?

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Speaker 4: Is my debt inherited?

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Speaker 3: Save time?

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Speaker 2: Your debt is my dead it becomes in something inherited. Yes,

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Speaker 2: when they passed, they pass on to you all of

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Speaker 2: that burden and responsibility.

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Speaker 4: So it's good to get.

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Speaker 2: All up in the mix early and be up in

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Speaker 2: the kool aid and know the flavor from early, because

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Speaker 2: your future could be very, very daunting. And if you're

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Speaker 2: marrying somebody that you know, the in law's death is

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Speaker 2: I mean, the in laws debt is the same for you.

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Speaker 1: Also, their debts can also be to your advantage. For example,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna just throw this in here. Kay's mom had

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Speaker 1: a life insurance policy. The life inspurent insurance policy was

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Speaker 1: almost three hundred dollars a month.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, a month.

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Speaker 3: But the policy was for.

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Speaker 1: A decent amount of money, yes, she said, because of

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Speaker 1: her expenses. And your mom's very independent, she said, Because

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Speaker 1: now I'm not working anymore, I don't want to pay

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Speaker 1: this life insurance policy anymore. So I'm just gonna let

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Speaker 1: it lapse. Me and Kadeen was like, no, you will not.

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Speaker 1: She said, what do you mean know you will not? Okay,

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Speaker 1: the life insurance policy is three hundred dollars a month.

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Speaker 1: It's a huge policy. Sign over the rights of that

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Speaker 1: policy to Kadeen. She becomes a an aficiaria. If something

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Speaker 1: happens to you, we will take over that payment. So

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Speaker 1: we've taken over the payment for three hundred dollars a month. Now,

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Speaker 1: remind you, I told you the average American citizen pays

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Speaker 1: six hundred dollars a month for health care for their

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Speaker 1: parents or for adult care. We cut that in half

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Speaker 1: by paying three hundred dollars a month. And when Mimi passes,

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Speaker 1: hopefully twenty thirty years down the line, we'll be able

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Speaker 1: to take that life insurance policy and split it amongst

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Speaker 1: her grandkids. So now she's left something to her grandkids

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Speaker 1: that me and Kadeen have invested in that is less

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Speaker 1: expensive than the six hundred dollars a month we would

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Speaker 1: have to expend on her care. On top of that,

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Speaker 1: we chose to move Mimi and Papa with us in

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Speaker 1: here to help them have a better quality of life,

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Speaker 1: to learn how to take care of themselves so that

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Speaker 1: we won't have to expend that additional six hundred dollars

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Speaker 1: a month, because a lot of these things can be

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Speaker 1: circumvented by having conversations early.

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Speaker 2: Yep, when you talk to your parents about money matters,

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Speaker 2: choose your timing and words carefully.

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Speaker 3: Kadeen is very good at that.

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Speaker 1: She's I'm gonna talk to my mom about this and

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Speaker 1: make sure that we do it in the right time,

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Speaker 1: because you know me, I.

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Speaker 2: Like to do things head on, head on, right, Let's

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Speaker 2: talk about it right now, let's do it, let's execute

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Speaker 2: let's see it.

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Speaker 4: It's on the shelf. That what's on the shelf?

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Speaker 5: I don't know, but I just thought about it, like

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Speaker 5: maybe like hold hold on, hold on now, hold.

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Speaker 4: Your horses, hold your horses.

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Speaker 2: But no, you also want to speak to your parents

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Speaker 2: with respect and not make them feel like their dignity

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Speaker 2: is being taken away from them because they are getting older.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 2: It's just that you can sometimes have the foresight to

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Speaker 2: see things that they can't see. Considering the conditions of

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Speaker 2: the world now and what we're dealing with from an

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Speaker 2: economic standpoint.

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Speaker 3: This next one's important, but.

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Speaker 2: When talking to your parents about money, try to position

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Speaker 2: the conversation as if you're asking for help. This may

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Speaker 2: help them be more comfortable opening up about your finances.

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Speaker 2: For example, Hey, dad, trying to learn more about retirement plans.

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Speaker 2: Can you tell me about yours? You know?

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Speaker 4: That's one's one.

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Speaker 1: The way I was able to actually break your pops

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Speaker 1: was to ask him what his plan was. Every time

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Speaker 1: I came to him with an idea, he was not

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Speaker 1: interested in my idea.

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Speaker 3: It wasn't until I asked him his plan.

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Speaker 1: And then when he said to me, when he dies,

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Speaker 1: he wanted to leave something for his kids, And I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, that sounds like a dupe plan, but

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Speaker 1: why wait till you die? Then, when I said why

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Speaker 1: wait till you die, I've seen a light both offends

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Speaker 1: head and his life.

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Speaker 3: But that's why I think that's important.

403
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Speaker 1: If you pose it in a way where you're trying

404
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,320
Speaker 1: to help or you're asking for help, as opposed to

405
00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:25,840
Speaker 1: make it it seem like I'm gonna know it all

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00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:28,160
Speaker 1: and you don't know stuff because you're old, right, they'll

407
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Speaker 1: be more inclined to take your advice.

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Speaker 2: Of course, and those I'm a genuine standpoint too. Write

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00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:33,760
Speaker 2: they feel like, oh, Jabe wants to know about what

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Speaker 2: I know.

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Speaker 1: Because genuinely I do want to know, because as much

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Speaker 1: as we think we know everything, there's a reason why

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Speaker 1: they lived this long and have been as successful as

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Speaker 1: they've been.

415
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:46,199
Speaker 3: Maybe he could have taught me something that I didn't know.

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Speaker 2: You got to give them the same credit, the same

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00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:49,399
Speaker 2: way we were all Jackson to listen to us and

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Speaker 2: you know, you know there's certain things and they go

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Speaker 2: again the same cycle.

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Speaker 4: Remind your parents that you want.

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Speaker 2: To get a clear picture of their wishes for the

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00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:02,520
Speaker 2: future and help unburden the family. That's the goal ultimately, right,

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Speaker 2: Get clear about wills, power of attorney, and health proxies.

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Speaker 3: Okay, this is important.

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Speaker 1: Most family issues happen around weddings and funerals. The reason

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Speaker 1: why they happen around weddings and funerals is because finances

427
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:21,880
Speaker 1: are involved. Nobody and family ever want to talk about

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Speaker 1: finance and go my finance and my finance as well.

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Speaker 1: When someone get married, you got to talk about it,

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Speaker 1: and when someone dies, you will definitely have to talk

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Speaker 1: about it because we're either going to have to talk

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Speaker 1: about expenses for a funeral, or debt, or what's going

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Speaker 1: to happen to the property that so and so had

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Speaker 1: in their name. And you know what happens when families

435
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:43,560
Speaker 1: don't discuss these things and it can't get left to anybody,

436
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:44,879
Speaker 1: It goes to the state.

437
00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:46,840
Speaker 2: That's the last thing y'all want to do is give

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Speaker 2: them people more money. Come on now, seriously, and particularly

439
00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:53,760
Speaker 2: healthcare proxies too. You don't want someone to be incapacitated

440
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:57,640
Speaker 2: or incapacitated or unable to make their own decisions. Talk

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00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:59,840
Speaker 2: about it, and then it's an argument over somebody's bed.

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Speaker 2: Talk about what should be happening. So to put those

443
00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:06,119
Speaker 2: things in place early and reach out to professionals for

444
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:09,159
Speaker 2: legal and financial advice, so whoever's in charge of the

445
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,320
Speaker 2: estate making sure that somebody else. Sometimes it helps to

446
00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:16,400
Speaker 2: have a party that's not biased, that's not involved, not connected,

447
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:18,760
Speaker 2: not family, not a friend, that can just give you

448
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:22,480
Speaker 2: a clear cut explanation of how to move forward with

449
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,120
Speaker 2: further investments and things of those natures.

450
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,680
Speaker 1: Now, I did not go to YouTube university or learn

451
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:28,840
Speaker 1: about finances.

452
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:31,640
Speaker 3: A god Brother is a certified CFP.

453
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:33,200
Speaker 4: Sewn has been on the podcast before.

454
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,040
Speaker 3: I yes, he's been. Sean Freeman, that's my guy.

455
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,360
Speaker 1: Part of the reason why our empire is the way

456
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,119
Speaker 1: it is is because I've always asked questions of a

457
00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:44,440
Speaker 1: professional from the time I was in the NFL until now.

458
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:47,359
Speaker 1: I always say, Okay, Sean, we have two plans. I

459
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,879
Speaker 1: need a short term plan to generate revenue consistently, but

460
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:53,199
Speaker 1: I need a long term plan to take care of

461
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,320
Speaker 1: my family. And to be honest, you don't have to

462
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,720
Speaker 1: choose one or the other. You have to find a

463
00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:59,600
Speaker 1: way to implement both so that you can live the

464
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,560
Speaker 1: life you want to live now while giving the people

465
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:04,479
Speaker 1: you love the life you want for them later on.

466
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,679
Speaker 3: So always speak to a professional.

467
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,000
Speaker 1: Don't just go try to figure things out on your

468
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,119
Speaker 1: own or take gambles or guests or no. Speak to

469
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,919
Speaker 1: people who've done it the right way. And when I

470
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:18,439
Speaker 1: say speak speak to people, don't ask me. Contact your

471
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:22,440
Speaker 1: certified financial planner or CPA or anybody who has who

472
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,800
Speaker 1: went to school to do this and ask them how

473
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:25,960
Speaker 1: to build out your wealth plan.

474
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:28,960
Speaker 4: Did your parents ever have an unhealthy relationship with money?

475
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:33,880
Speaker 3: Yes, grow yes, I know my dad does. My dad

476
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:34,600
Speaker 3: so frugal.

477
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:37,760
Speaker 1: My dad keeps cash upstairs in his room that he

478
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:40,199
Speaker 1: counts every night like Scrooge McDuck.

479
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,920
Speaker 3: We should call him Scoop McDuck from now when that's

480
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:44,240
Speaker 3: his new name is Scoop McDuck.

481
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,800
Speaker 1: He counts it every single night, like my father loves

482
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:49,480
Speaker 1: to see cash in his hand.

483
00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:50,880
Speaker 3: And because of.

484
00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:55,800
Speaker 2: That, when it comes to why, I.

485
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:59,239
Speaker 1: Think, because of that, neither one of them have a

486
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:03,439
Speaker 1: healthy relationship with investing outside of buying property. Because at

487
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:05,680
Speaker 1: a time, and this is important for people to understand too,

488
00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:07,639
Speaker 1: they'll always tell you, oh, if you buy property, if

489
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:09,120
Speaker 1: you buy property, it's the best thing you can do.

490
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:12,439
Speaker 1: They will say that because back in the seventies and

491
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,800
Speaker 1: the eighties, when they were buying properties, for example, a

492
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,280
Speaker 1: brick house in New York City at the time, the

493
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:20,159
Speaker 1: same brick houses going for one to two million dollars.

494
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:23,239
Speaker 1: Now they're going for forty thousand dollars. So yeah, it

495
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,679
Speaker 1: was a lot easier than to get a home for

496
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:28,199
Speaker 1: forty thousand dollars. When my parents were buying properties, it

497
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:31,720
Speaker 1: was about one twenty. The same property that my parents

498
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:34,239
Speaker 1: bought for one hundred and twenty k it maybe the

499
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:38,640
Speaker 1: most two hundred thousand in KENARSI nineteen hundred square feet

500
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,920
Speaker 1: are now going for seven hundred thousand dollars, So our

501
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:45,520
Speaker 1: generation doesn't have the same ability to say, hey, I'm

502
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:48,359
Speaker 1: gonna save up a couple bucks. Put down twenty percent

503
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:51,280
Speaker 1: on an eighty thousand dollar home. Twenty percent on an

504
00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:56,120
Speaker 1: eighty thousand dollars home is sixteen thousand dollars. Twenty percent

505
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 1: on a seven hundred thousand dollars home is one hundred

506
00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:01,480
Speaker 1: and forty thousand dollars. Most people will never be able

507
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:04,119
Speaker 1: to save one hundred and forty thousand dollars in their life,

508
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:07,600
Speaker 1: So us as millennials or gen Z will not be

509
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:11,760
Speaker 1: able to make the same financial plans as our parents.

510
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:15,360
Speaker 1: So we had to find new ways to generate revenue.

511
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:18,120
Speaker 1: So since we found new ways, it's important for us

512
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:20,680
Speaker 1: to share those new ways because our parents are now

513
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:24,800
Speaker 1: retiring in this economy. They're not retiring in that economy

514
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,640
Speaker 1: where they just bought property, and I mean they're stuck there.

515
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,920
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, they're definitely stuck there.

516
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,720
Speaker 1: And that's the poor relationship with money that I feel

517
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:35,400
Speaker 1: like our parents have. They still look at money as

518
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 1: the way the economy is, the way it was when

519
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:40,440
Speaker 1: they first started making money, but that was forty years ago,

520
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:43,160
Speaker 1: so much has changed, and forty years from now, it's

521
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:44,960
Speaker 1: probably going to be bitcoin and a whole bunch of

522
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:46,720
Speaker 1: stuff that I'm not going to understand, and I'm gonna

523
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:47,880
Speaker 1: be like, yo, Jack, Yo, Jacks, my.

524
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:48,800
Speaker 3: Man, what are you doing?

525
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:49,640
Speaker 4: What are you doing?

526
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:51,600
Speaker 3: I invested all of this money for you to go

527
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:55,800
Speaker 3: to school. Man, let me know, help me, help me?

528
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:57,119
Speaker 3: Jackson helped me.

529
00:22:57,680 --> 00:22:57,920
Speaker 2: Yeah.

530
00:22:58,040 --> 00:22:58,640
Speaker 4: No, it's true.

531
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:01,560
Speaker 2: Even and my parents will say thing unhealthy relationship with money.

532
00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:03,119
Speaker 2: They want to see their money in their hands, they

533
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:04,920
Speaker 2: want to know that it's there, but also to think

534
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,800
Speaker 2: about us. We for a period of time had that

535
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,399
Speaker 2: unhealthy relationship with money where we were just like watching

536
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:12,800
Speaker 2: every dime they came in and went. And then we

537
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:15,400
Speaker 2: realized too. Once we kind of just relinquished that and said,

538
00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 2: you know what, it's money. You have to spend it

539
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:19,520
Speaker 2: to make it. Absolutely, let's just do what we got

540
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,480
Speaker 2: to do. It started coming back in in abundance because

541
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:23,920
Speaker 2: we just kind of let it do what it was

542
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,520
Speaker 2: supposed to be do. We let our money work for us.

543
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 3: Well, it didn't just come in abundance because we let

544
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:29,040
Speaker 3: it do.

545
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:31,439
Speaker 4: I mean we worked hard, we worked hard, but I.

546
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:32,359
Speaker 3: Also listened to Sean.

547
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:35,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, and when he when he explained to me how

548
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:39,720
Speaker 1: money really is just a tool. Like money is not

549
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:42,119
Speaker 1: a thing that you're supposed to keep in your account

550
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:44,040
Speaker 1: as a shrine to honor yourself.

551
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 3: A lot of people do that, right, I look at

552
00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:47,679
Speaker 3: all this money I made.

553
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:49,320
Speaker 1: Now, I'm a look at this money I made so

554
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,879
Speaker 1: I can feel better but myself, that's not what money

555
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:56,399
Speaker 1: was used for. Money was only created as a barter tool,

556
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,879
Speaker 1: So you're supposed to use that money for other things.

557
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,159
Speaker 1: That's really what You're not supposed to just collect the

558
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:05,360
Speaker 1: money like Scrooge McDuck. Once you have the money, you're

559
00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:09,280
Speaker 1: supposed to find ways to utilize this tool because while

560
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:11,800
Speaker 1: you're young, you can always make what more money?

561
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:13,000
Speaker 4: Yep, that's always the hope.

562
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:15,640
Speaker 1: But our parents was you make it in saved because

563
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:17,359
Speaker 1: a lot of our parents came from places where they

564
00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:19,679
Speaker 1: didn't get opportunities to make a lot of money. So

565
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 1: you keep it aside for a rainy day, just in

566
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 1: case something happens. And our parents come from the generation

567
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:28,040
Speaker 1: that they work till sixty five. Our generation does not

568
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:30,000
Speaker 1: want to. I don't want to work for nobody till

569
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:33,359
Speaker 1: sixty five. I don't So for me, it was like,

570
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,040
Speaker 1: let me find the best way. Right we're gonna work

571
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,800
Speaker 1: for these gigs. Let me find the best way to

572
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:41,800
Speaker 1: utilize this tool. And I started to find ways in

573
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 1: a quick way. Just to tell you guys, is I

574
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:47,919
Speaker 1: use the five X rule. The five X rules. So

575
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,000
Speaker 1: the five EX rule for me is this, if I

576
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:52,879
Speaker 1: make ten dollars, I know the government is going to

577
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:55,800
Speaker 1: take forty percent of that ten dollars, So forty percent

578
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 1: of that ten dollars would be four dollars.

579
00:24:58,160 --> 00:24:59,800
Speaker 3: With that four dollars, I'm not going to give it

580
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 3: to the government.

581
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:03,120
Speaker 1: I am going to take half of that money, which

582
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:04,960
Speaker 1: is two dollars, and I'm going to try the five

583
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:06,800
Speaker 1: exit because that five X will give me what.

584
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:08,360
Speaker 3: Another ten dollars.

585
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,800
Speaker 1: So I'll take two dollars out of that four and

586
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,320
Speaker 1: I will find a business or an investment or a

587
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,680
Speaker 1: project that I can put the money in and turn

588
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:18,280
Speaker 1: that two dollars which would have went to the government

589
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 1: to ten. And in what you do you rents and repeat,

590
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 1: and you rent and repeat, and what happens is your

591
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:27,720
Speaker 1: money the simple ten dollars that you would have made

592
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 1: gave the government four took three, paid your bills, took

593
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:34,960
Speaker 1: another two, you know, enjoyed yourself and in that one

594
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,600
Speaker 1: dollar you would have saved it.

595
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:39,159
Speaker 4: This is a different kind of and then renting your

596
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 4: money or washing your money.

597
00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:42,600
Speaker 6: What you're saying, you gotta rint it, you gotta wash

598
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:43,080
Speaker 6: your money.

599
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:44,720
Speaker 1: But you see what I'm saying, that's typically how the

600
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:48,960
Speaker 1: normal person lives. I make ten dollars, I pay the government,

601
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 1: I pay my bills, I do something for myself, and

602
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:53,520
Speaker 1: I save a dollar. Most people, even if you think

603
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,720
Speaker 1: about biblical times, you tie ten percent. So if I

604
00:25:56,800 --> 00:26:00,280
Speaker 1: have ten dollars, if I can save one were the

605
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:02,199
Speaker 1: course of years, it's like, nah, I'm not giving the

606
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:05,320
Speaker 1: government four dollars. I'm going to pay my taxes, but

607
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:06,960
Speaker 1: I'm going to take two of that and I'm going

608
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:07,480
Speaker 1: to invest this.

609
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:08,760
Speaker 3: We have another ten dollars.

610
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:10,720
Speaker 1: So now not only do I have ten dollars, I

611
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:12,640
Speaker 1: make ten dollars from working, but now I make ten

612
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:13,480
Speaker 1: dollars for my business.

613
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:14,600
Speaker 3: Now I have twenty dollars.

614
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 1: So now twenty percent of that twenty dollars, not twenty percent.

615
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,480
Speaker 1: I take that money rather than paying forty percent to

616
00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:24,480
Speaker 1: the government, which would have been eight dollars, it's four dollars.

617
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:26,560
Speaker 1: Take the four dollars and I do what with it?

618
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,720
Speaker 1: Five exit Now I got twenty somewhere from ten to

619
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:31,440
Speaker 1: twenty twenty to forty forty to eighty.

620
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 3: And that's how you build out wealth. It takes time.

621
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:35,280
Speaker 3: It just takes time.

622
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,320
Speaker 2: That is super dope. I hope y'all picked up on that.

623
00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:40,919
Speaker 2: The five X thing. That's really and that's a good one.

624
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:42,400
Speaker 2: I don't even realize that's what we do, but that.

625
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:44,280
Speaker 4: Is what we do. And that's literally.

626
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,440
Speaker 1: We did it with property, we did it with the podcast,

627
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,120
Speaker 1: We did it with the live shows. I'll give y'all

628
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:52,480
Speaker 1: into a quick insight, just really quick insight about business.

629
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 1: How and why do we do the podcast live shows? Right,

630
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 1: we don't have any sponsors. Our sponsors are ourselves. I

631
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:02,679
Speaker 1: make money doing the Teama insists the money that I

632
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:04,720
Speaker 1: make doing the Team and Sisters, the government is going

633
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 1: to tax me forty percent. So what I do is

634
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:09,840
Speaker 1: I say, I'm not that forty percent that I would

635
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:11,760
Speaker 1: have given to the government. I'm going to take half

636
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:14,399
Speaker 1: of that forty percent and I'm going to invest that

637
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:16,679
Speaker 1: in another project that's going to make us more money

638
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:20,640
Speaker 1: for us, for Kadeen and I that's everything else you see,

639
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:24,159
Speaker 1: all of the content we create, all the properties we

640
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:27,600
Speaker 1: start oping. I am looking to open up a weed dispensary.

641
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:30,040
Speaker 1: But all of the things you see come from one project.

642
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:32,760
Speaker 1: And when we first started that one project was what

643
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:36,600
Speaker 1: the gym. The gym YEP and the gym led us

644
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 1: into doing more content on social media. Part of the way,

645
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:42,480
Speaker 1: I was able to shout out to my man Josh

646
00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:42,920
Speaker 1: over here.

647
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:43,640
Speaker 3: Josh.

648
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:46,520
Speaker 1: Part of the reason why Kadeen and I were able

649
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:49,720
Speaker 1: to transition into being full time content creators is during

650
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 1: the time when I was still at the gym, I

651
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:55,560
Speaker 1: used to pay Josh monthly to come out to La

652
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:59,320
Speaker 1: to film some of the content. That money that I

653
00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:02,640
Speaker 1: spent to job that we use to create more content

654
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:06,159
Speaker 1: brought in five x of the money I spent to Josh.

655
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:08,640
Speaker 1: That money I then was able to use to build

656
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:11,040
Speaker 1: out another platform. But it all started from the gym.

657
00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 1: I saved that money in and I was just like, I'm

658
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 1: going to just continue the five X rule, and that's

659
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:18,160
Speaker 1: always been my plan. You can't look it up, that's

660
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:20,160
Speaker 1: just my plan. I call it the five X rule.

661
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:21,880
Speaker 1: So I always try to five x my money.

662
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 2: I invest coin that shot. All right, y'all, let's take

663
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:30,720
Speaker 2: a quick break and in the sake of in the

664
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 2: vein of paying bills, let's do that, and we're gonna

665
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:35,160
Speaker 2: move into listen nutters when we come back.

666
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:36,720
Speaker 4: Bow stick around, y'all.

667
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:51,160
Speaker 2: All right, we're back. Let's dive right into these listener letters. First,

668
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,520
Speaker 2: let me say you guys are dope. I've been listening

669
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 2: for from the UK for a hot minute now and

670
00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 2: love the topics you discussed since the days of Jackson

671
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:00,760
Speaker 2: is Tim shoot and roro keiki?

672
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,960
Speaker 4: Do you love ten years Agoe?

673
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:09,320
Speaker 2: I know, I know you love context, so let's hope

674
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 2: this ain't too extra Okay, thank you.

675
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:13,000
Speaker 4: Thank you for the intro.

676
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:16,480
Speaker 2: Girl appreciate that getting married, growing a family, and building

677
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:20,000
Speaker 2: a legacy was the intention, but unfortunately my negligence in

678
00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:22,760
Speaker 2: the wrong choice of men has delayed that dream for me.

679
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:25,840
Speaker 2: I'm now a single mom of two incredible brown boys,

680
00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:29,880
Speaker 2: focusing on our little family strength and strengthening our spirituality.

681
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:33,600
Speaker 2: Kse statement about having autonomy over our time is the

682
00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:37,480
Speaker 2: ultimate goal. Building a business where I'm able to be

683
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:40,080
Speaker 2: the best mother I can be while being present for

684
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:42,840
Speaker 2: them and providing for them is what drives me. However,

685
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:47,720
Speaker 2: I'm stuck. The struggle is real. I've made so many sacrifices.

686
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 2: For example, we have not been on holiday for seven years,

687
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 2: no self care days, no extra spending, scaling back whenever possible,

688
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 2: and I'm working as much as I can, but trying

689
00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:01,600
Speaker 2: to save on a budget. With growing boys to provide

690
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:05,440
Speaker 2: for and little external help, no financial support, we were

691
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:08,960
Speaker 2: barely making it through the time the months. Sometimes I've

692
00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 2: tried to put my dreams to the back of my mind.

693
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 4: But the older they get eight and fourteen this year.

694
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:18,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, to think of it, the harder it becomes and

695
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 2: the more frustrating it becomes at times, not being able

696
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 2: to provide for them how I want to. I have

697
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:26,560
Speaker 2: all the ideas, everything lined up, ready to start, but

698
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 2: can't seem to be able to get a startup fund

699
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:31,400
Speaker 2: to make these dreams a reality.

700
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:32,240
Speaker 3: What happens?

701
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:35,240
Speaker 2: Yep, I feel stuck in a system. I just want

702
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:38,479
Speaker 2: to have control over my time, be financially secure, and

703
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:40,959
Speaker 2: give back to those that have helped our little family,

704
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:44,560
Speaker 2: brightening up my little corner of the world, if you will,

705
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:48,160
Speaker 2: and then pay it forward by helping others in similar

706
00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 2: positions as myself and show my boys, the world and

707
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 2: the process. Any guidance for a struggling single mom trying

708
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 2: to make it? How can I get a business startup

709
00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:59,560
Speaker 2: loan with bad credit? Thank you for taking time to

710
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:02,000
Speaker 2: read my life letter. Big up to them, four handsome

711
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 2: boys and blessings from the most High to you and

712
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:05,080
Speaker 2: your beautiful family.

713
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:08,320
Speaker 4: Thank you so much. I received that all right money man.

714
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 2: When I feel it her though, I feel her how

715
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 2: that feels to just feel like, damn, I can't catch

716
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 2: my footing right.

717
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 1: The first thing I realize is that she's doing it

718
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:20,720
Speaker 1: by herself. So kudos to her for doing it by herself.

719
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:23,880
Speaker 1: And that's unfortunate that she has to do it by herself.

720
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 4: Knowing that she desires to be with someone.

721
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:28,720
Speaker 1: But I do wonder though she says she sacrificed a lot,

722
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 1: you know, seven years not doing any holidays, no self

723
00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:35,960
Speaker 1: care days, no extra spending, but it's impossible to keep up.

724
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 1: I don't know the laws in the UK. I don't

725
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 1: know the laws in the UK, but I do know this.

726
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 1: The easiest way to quote unquote save money, which is

727
00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:51,800
Speaker 1: not really saving money, is to whatever your business strategy

728
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:55,760
Speaker 1: or business plan is, start in LLC. Yes, that costs money.

729
00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:58,200
Speaker 1: But when you start in LLC and you register your

730
00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 1: LLC as an escort, Now an LLC just removes liability.

731
00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 1: Your tax status will still be the same until you

732
00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:09,880
Speaker 1: register as an escorporate. Escorp changes your tax status. Once

733
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:13,440
Speaker 1: your tax status changes, now you can be a small business.

734
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:16,000
Speaker 1: Once you're a small business and you have a business,

735
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:19,480
Speaker 1: you have the right to invest in your business. When

736
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:22,800
Speaker 1: you invest in your business, that is a tax write off.

737
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:26,680
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying. So now rather than making

738
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:28,160
Speaker 1: all of your money, and like I said, I don't

739
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 1: know all of the tax laws in the UK, but

740
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 1: I know in the United States, if you make a

741
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 1: certain amount of money, right they're going to tax you

742
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:38,400
Speaker 1: at a certain rate if you don't have any right offs.

743
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:40,240
Speaker 1: And the easiest way to get right offs is to

744
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:43,600
Speaker 1: start a business. When you make, like I said, ten dollars,

745
00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 1: rather than giving the government three dollars, you take a

746
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 1: dollar and a half. You invest it in your business

747
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 1: because that money would have been going anyway. Think about it,

748
00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 1: and that's the important part. I said, Well, why do

749
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 1: you take half of what you would have took to

750
00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 1: the government, because you're still going to have to pay

751
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 1: taxes to the government. But what you don't want to

752
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:02,719
Speaker 1: do is just give all that money to the government

753
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 1: and not see it. So you start a business so

754
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 1: that you can ultimately make that money grow. Right, So

755
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 1: rather than just taking making all your money, take your money,

756
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,240
Speaker 1: start an LLC. That money that you would have given

757
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 1: the government invested. And people said, what if I invest

758
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 1: it and I lose it? This is my clear mindset.

759
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:22,000
Speaker 1: If I wouldn't have invested it and just gave it

760
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,480
Speaker 1: to the government, I would.

761
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:24,720
Speaker 4: Have lost it anyway.

762
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:27,080
Speaker 3: Don't we talk about that all the time.

763
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 2: I'm always going to vow, like you sure I can

764
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 2: get this right now, and he just like, get it,

765
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,720
Speaker 2: get it. It's for the business anyway, and they're gonna

766
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:34,400
Speaker 2: take the money anyways, to go ahead and get it.

767
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:35,920
Speaker 4: And I'm like, all right, we'll say less.

768
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:37,920
Speaker 1: And what it does is it puts your soul at

769
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:41,160
Speaker 1: rest because it's like, well, actually, now I'm actually.

770
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:43,000
Speaker 3: Playing with someone else's money.

771
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:45,840
Speaker 1: Technically you are, because that money that they would have

772
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:48,840
Speaker 1: taken with you is technically the government's money. But before

773
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:50,960
Speaker 1: you give it to them, use as much as you

774
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:55,480
Speaker 1: can for yourself. And the thing is the government incentivizes

775
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:59,480
Speaker 1: people who get LLC's and start businesses because they want

776
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:02,840
Speaker 1: more people to start business. The problem is most people

777
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:04,560
Speaker 1: try to just get up as much money as they

778
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 1: can and then they throw their money in the business

779
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:10,360
Speaker 1: without doing full research on the business. Do research on

780
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 1: the business. Don't just like I said before, don't just

781
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:15,200
Speaker 1: jump out here on the women. Go to YouTube. Speak

782
00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:18,239
Speaker 1: to a certified financial planner. Find out what you can

783
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 1: say or what you can afford to invest in or

784
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:24,040
Speaker 1: invest with. Stick to that plan and be consistent that

785
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:26,319
Speaker 1: one dollar will turn into two, will turn into four,

786
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:28,120
Speaker 1: will turn into eight, and then before you know it,

787
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:30,880
Speaker 1: it's like, hey, I have all of these extra funds

788
00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:34,799
Speaker 1: that I can use, or you can do like we do,

789
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:40,319
Speaker 1: Uncle Sam, stop listening. But since we are influencers and entertainers,

790
00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:44,600
Speaker 1: we have to travel in order to create content. If

791
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:47,280
Speaker 1: you understand what I'm saying without understanding what I'm saying,

792
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:50,440
Speaker 1: So when we travel, I'm here, you know I'm here,

793
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:54,160
Speaker 1: but I'm not here. When you travel to create content,

794
00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:58,600
Speaker 1: you're not on vacation. You're working, so you can write

795
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:01,960
Speaker 1: it off. If you understand what I'm saying some of it.

796
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:04,160
Speaker 1: You understand what I'm saying and what I'm saying is

797
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,200
Speaker 1: you can find ways when you have an LLC or

798
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:09,760
Speaker 1: you have a business to enjoy your life. You understand

799
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:12,239
Speaker 1: what I'm saying and not feel like you're stuck just

800
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:12,840
Speaker 1: going away.

801
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:14,920
Speaker 2: So that was kind of stuck something to tell her.

802
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:16,560
Speaker 2: She just says she wants to build a business. So

803
00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:18,640
Speaker 2: my approach to that, and she didn't say what builds

804
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:20,399
Speaker 2: the business? It was but like Devosi, if you start

805
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:24,200
Speaker 2: the LLC, find a niche market for something that is needed.

806
00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:27,399
Speaker 1: And talking you said you didn't know what to say,

807
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:29,640
Speaker 1: but you said exactly what you're supposed to say. Find

808
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:32,400
Speaker 1: a niche market and something that you're passionate about that

809
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:34,680
Speaker 1: wouldn't be an additional job, it's something that you do

810
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:38,440
Speaker 1: enjoy with and provide a service. The easiest way to

811
00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 1: start a business is provide a service in a place

812
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:45,640
Speaker 1: somewhere near or around that you live, or do doing

813
00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:48,600
Speaker 1: something that you're passionate about, because then your second business

814
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:49,279
Speaker 1: is not a job.

815
00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:51,440
Speaker 4: That's your passion to other people.

816
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:52,840
Speaker 3: And turn your passion into your paycheck.

817
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:54,960
Speaker 4: Here you go, passionate to your paycheck.

818
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:58,200
Speaker 2: I love that all right, Onto our final listening letter

819
00:35:58,320 --> 00:35:59,440
Speaker 2: of the day.

820
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,360
Speaker 3: Wh Hey KK and Deval.

821
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:04,319
Speaker 1: I first like to say that I'm a huge fan

822
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:06,960
Speaker 1: of your work and the beautiful family that you two

823
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:09,759
Speaker 1: have created together. Thank you so much. We appreciate you.

824
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:13,080
Speaker 1: It's truly inspiring. I'll get right to it. My husband

825
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:15,360
Speaker 1: and I have been married for seven years together nine

826
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 1: we're both active duty military. Due to recent promotions both

827
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 1: for both of us in our careers, we have been

828
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:25,000
Speaker 1: separated due to training schools and deployments for the last

829
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:27,160
Speaker 1: two and a half years. Sorry to hear that, and

830
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:29,839
Speaker 1: thank you for your service. It has caused a strain

831
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:32,400
Speaker 1: on our marriage. When my husband came to visit me

832
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:35,080
Speaker 1: back in September from his deployment, I felt he was

833
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:37,319
Speaker 1: too invested in his phone and not the time we

834
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 1: had together. I went through the phone and saw that

835
00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:41,680
Speaker 1: there had been an exchange on Snapchat between him and

836
00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:44,160
Speaker 1: a woman who he used to date. I waited until

837
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:46,440
Speaker 1: he left and confronted him about I waited until he

838
00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:48,320
Speaker 1: left and confronted him about it. I wonder why she

839
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:50,400
Speaker 1: waited until he left. I waited until he left and

840
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:53,920
Speaker 1: confronted him about it. Since then, I've deployed, I've apologized

841
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,799
Speaker 1: for how I approached it. We've both started therapy, but

842
00:36:57,239 --> 00:36:59,719
Speaker 1: he don't talk. Oh, but we don't talk. I asked

843
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:01,880
Speaker 1: him about working things out, and when I bring up

844
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:04,759
Speaker 1: the future, he is avoidant and has no answers. We

845
00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:06,840
Speaker 1: have a five year old son. He only calls and

846
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:09,360
Speaker 1: puts our son on the phone and doesn't exchange with

847
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:12,000
Speaker 1: me directly. My husband has expressed recently that he doesn't

848
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:14,960
Speaker 1: feel that we are each other's person, that he's losing

849
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 1: his attraction to me because of my attitude and this

850
00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:21,120
Speaker 1: is not how he envisioned his family. That he is

851
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 1: in a constant state of mental chaos to be a

852
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:25,960
Speaker 1: good father and ousland, but knows he's not trying his best.

853
00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:28,640
Speaker 1: He acknowledges that my attitude comes from his actions and

854
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:31,279
Speaker 1: that he broke a level of trust, but something just

855
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:33,399
Speaker 1: seems to prevent him from wanting to try to make

856
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:35,640
Speaker 1: it work. I still love my husband very much and

857
00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:38,040
Speaker 1: want to work on things. It hurts that the person

858
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:40,960
Speaker 1: I want to be with said has said in a

859
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 1: multitude of ways, through words and actions, that he pretty

860
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:46,480
Speaker 1: much doesn't want things to work out. How long can

861
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:49,000
Speaker 1: I keep praying he has a change of heart. No

862
00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:51,080
Speaker 1: more time you get to stop praying that he has

863
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:52,879
Speaker 1: a change of heart. When people show you and tell

864
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:56,719
Speaker 1: you who they are, believe that or should I start

865
00:37:56,760 --> 00:37:59,239
Speaker 1: preparing for what it will look like if he does

866
00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:01,880
Speaker 1: decide he wants to divorce, because that's what it feels

867
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:04,360
Speaker 1: like is coming to any and all. The vice is

868
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:07,120
Speaker 1: helpful because at this point it's affecting my work. I'm

869
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:09,640
Speaker 1: in a constant state of worry and just overall heartbroken.

870
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:12,360
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I pray this letter gets to you, guys,

871
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:13,880
Speaker 1: and God bless I'm.

872
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:16,520
Speaker 2: So sorry you're heartbroken, and you know, having to exist

873
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:18,239
Speaker 2: like that. First of all, just not even being in

874
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:20,040
Speaker 2: the same space with your spouse for like two and

875
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:22,640
Speaker 2: a half years, that's tough to deal with. Deval and

876
00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:24,440
Speaker 2: I have done the long distance thing when you were

877
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:27,239
Speaker 2: in the league, and even now to this day, when

878
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:29,360
Speaker 2: Devoup's filming or something and he's a way, we just

879
00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:30,399
Speaker 2: literally cannot go.

880
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:36,200
Speaker 1: I know, I'm bad. I can't do without my wife.

881
00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:39,400
Speaker 1: I need my wife and vice versa. If I'm away

882
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 1: and I can't get her on the phone or if

883
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:43,960
Speaker 1: I can't get her on FaceTime, I'm pissed's I'm in

884
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:44,719
Speaker 1: a bad mood.

885
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:47,040
Speaker 4: I always know what it is and I'm just like,

886
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:47,680
Speaker 4: he just missed me.

887
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:49,960
Speaker 3: I do be missing you. I don't know how people.

888
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:52,480
Speaker 3: I don't know how people do long distance relationships. That's

889
00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:54,239
Speaker 3: a special ministry.

890
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:54,480
Speaker 4: It really is.

891
00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:58,279
Speaker 2: But he's told you in every way but the way

892
00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:02,279
Speaker 2: you wanted to hear it, that he is not invested

893
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:05,839
Speaker 2: anymore or invested the same way that you are. So

894
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:08,560
Speaker 2: I feel at this point, because he's shown you who

895
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:13,319
Speaker 2: he is and he's been transparent about it, it's best

896
00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:15,879
Speaker 2: if you just give him what he wants and work

897
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:18,239
Speaker 2: on yourself and think about how you'll be able to

898
00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:20,719
Speaker 2: pick up the pieces and move forward and have a

899
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,600
Speaker 2: really good co parenting relationship for your five.

900
00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:24,040
Speaker 4: Year old son.

901
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:25,400
Speaker 3: I disagree with one thing.

902
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:28,560
Speaker 1: Fuck giving him what he wants, sweetheart, get what you want.

903
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:32,359
Speaker 1: You don't want to live like this. Remember you said

904
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 1: you said give you said you know, if he what

905
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:35,399
Speaker 1: he wants.

906
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:35,960
Speaker 3: I know what you mean.

907
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:40,759
Speaker 1: I'm saying, fuck, give him what he wants, what you

908
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:43,399
Speaker 1: need for your life, because you don't want to live

909
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:45,920
Speaker 1: like that. So since you don't want to live like this,

910
00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:50,120
Speaker 1: go get what you want. Because if you if you

911
00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:53,040
Speaker 1: frame it as give him what he wants, then it's

912
00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:54,480
Speaker 1: like when I'm doing this for you, and that can

913
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:54,799
Speaker 1: be you.

914
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:56,880
Speaker 3: Don't give him that power.

915
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,360
Speaker 4: I see what you mean, and I'm.

916
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:01,960
Speaker 1: Not saying fun. What I'm saying is he's showing you

917
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:05,279
Speaker 1: in a multitude of ways what he wants. Right, ask

918
00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:07,719
Speaker 1: yourself what you want, and if that's not what you want,

919
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:09,960
Speaker 1: take control of what you want. You want a different

920
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 1: life with a spouse that will be supportive. Hopefully you don't.

921
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:17,080
Speaker 1: You guys don't have to live long distance because I

922
00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 1: honestly feel like the long distance is what you guys

923
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:22,399
Speaker 1: weren't prepared for. Yeah, I don't think he's a bad guy.

924
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:24,160
Speaker 1: I don't think you a bad woman like I don't.

925
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:27,480
Speaker 1: We don't know enough about your relationship to place blame, right,

926
00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:29,960
Speaker 1: But what I'm saying is that you don't know you

927
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:32,520
Speaker 1: you know you don't want this, and since you know

928
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:34,799
Speaker 1: you don't want this, be honest with him about what

929
00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 1: you don't want, and then you move accordingly.

930
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:40,279
Speaker 4: It takes the power in her hand, Yes.

931
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:42,239
Speaker 1: And that's what she needs because she's heartbroken, and I

932
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:43,920
Speaker 1: don't want her to sit there and be heartbroken. If

933
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,680
Speaker 1: you mentioned she's fighting for us in our country, you know,

934
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:48,080
Speaker 1: thank you for your service.

935
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 4: A mental strain, emotional strain on everyone.

936
00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:53,279
Speaker 1: Absolutely, you got a five year old son. Yeah, yeah,

937
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:54,960
Speaker 1: But first of all, both of you, thank you for

938
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:57,120
Speaker 1: your service. We appreciate you because we wouldn't be able

939
00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:59,160
Speaker 1: to live in our freedoms that we have if it

940
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:02,479
Speaker 1: weren't for people like you who sacrifice families in time

941
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:05,839
Speaker 1: with each other, yeah, to protect our freedom. So much

942
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:08,080
Speaker 1: love to both of y'all, not just you, but both

943
00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:10,719
Speaker 1: of y'all, and your son for being you know he

944
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:13,240
Speaker 1: has to sacrifice too, both of his parents are fighting

945
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:15,520
Speaker 1: for our country. So shout out to all three y'all,

946
00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:17,560
Speaker 1: regardless of whether y'all stay together or work it out.

947
00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:18,920
Speaker 4: Sounds good to me.

948
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:20,799
Speaker 2: If you want to be featured as a listener letter,

949
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:24,440
Speaker 2: email us at dead ass Advice at gmail dot com.

950
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:26,560
Speaker 1: That's d E A D A S S A D

951
00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:29,880
Speaker 1: V I C E at gmail dot com.

952
00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:32,640
Speaker 4: All right, moment of truth time, like you packing it up?

953
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:33,240
Speaker 4: Where you going.

954
00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:36,479
Speaker 3: To be honest with you? Baby? I'm tired. I'm freaking tired.

955
00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:39,360
Speaker 2: We had to go to the kids going on today,

956
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:41,200
Speaker 2: we had to deal with the.

957
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:43,960
Speaker 1: Death and the family. We did not sleep much last night.

958
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:45,919
Speaker 1: We're exhausted. But you know what, we're here.

959
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:48,080
Speaker 3: We are here. Are we here?

960
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:54,520
Speaker 1: Because K calling them might get.

961
00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:55,719
Speaker 4: It's also allergy season out here and heavy U in

962
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:56,560
Speaker 4: at o so.

963
00:41:57,360 --> 00:41:59,759
Speaker 3: But no, we are here.

964
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 1: We appreciate you guys so much that we actually enjoy this.

965
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:05,200
Speaker 1: This is our time to kind of get away and

966
00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:06,760
Speaker 1: talk about the things we're going through.

967
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 2: Talk about some other things, but we're talking today about

968
00:42:10,239 --> 00:42:14,120
Speaker 2: financially sound parents and teaching our parents about finances the

969
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:16,040
Speaker 2: same way they have taught us, and how things have

970
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:17,000
Speaker 2: changed over time.

971
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:19,200
Speaker 4: Yes, so my moment of truth, I guess I go

972
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:19,719
Speaker 4: first today?

973
00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:20,799
Speaker 3: Baby is.

974
00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:25,279
Speaker 4: Now you just lie, you go first? But I had

975
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:27,680
Speaker 4: it and just literally this is she's.

976
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:31,319
Speaker 3: Just brain farted. No, listen, this is my moment of truth.

977
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:34,120
Speaker 1: This Never is never too early in a relationship with

978
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:37,080
Speaker 1: your parents to start discussing with them their retirement plan,

979
00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:39,839
Speaker 1: because the earlier you figure it out, the more time

980
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:42,359
Speaker 1: you get to help them with that plan. So for me,

981
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:45,359
Speaker 1: now that I think about it, when my parents were,

982
00:42:45,719 --> 00:42:48,440
Speaker 1: you know, starting to get on that age of fifty,

983
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:54,200
Speaker 1: you know, I was the time twenty eight, twenty eight.

984
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:57,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're right there, you're right there, not mi though

985
00:42:58,080 --> 00:42:59,359
Speaker 3: I got twenty five more years.

986
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:02,920
Speaker 1: I should have started talking to them at that point

987
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:05,720
Speaker 1: so that the conversation doesn't come out of nowhere.

988
00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:07,359
Speaker 3: You know, what's your retirement plan?

989
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:07,600
Speaker 1: Dad?

990
00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:08,640
Speaker 3: What's your retirement plan?

991
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:10,920
Speaker 1: Mom? I just want to know, you know, a couple

992
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:13,759
Speaker 1: months go by, has anything changed in the retirement plan?

993
00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:15,560
Speaker 1: You know, ask them questions, have you looked at this

994
00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:17,799
Speaker 1: in your retirement plan? Because once you've opened the door

995
00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 1: to have that discussion, when it comes time for them

996
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:22,560
Speaker 1: to retire, it doesn't seem like it's caught off guard.

997
00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:25,160
Speaker 1: It's like, oh, we've been discussing this, so let's move

998
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:26,279
Speaker 1: collectively as a group.

999
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:28,560
Speaker 2: That's so funny you say that, because it just came

1000
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:30,799
Speaker 2: back to me. I was going to say that. As

1001
00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:34,359
Speaker 2: much as Deval and I talk about transparency and communication

1002
00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:39,480
Speaker 2: within romantic relationships, that same transparency and communication should also

1003
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:44,080
Speaker 2: be extended to familial relationships, acc particularly parents. So it

1004
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:48,520
Speaker 2: becomes that much easier high five five. It becomes that

1005
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:51,840
Speaker 2: much easier for your parents to maintain or build a

1006
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:55,000
Speaker 2: level of trust with you, so that way they will

1007
00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:56,360
Speaker 2: feel more empowered.

1008
00:43:57,480 --> 00:43:58,279
Speaker 3: You win it right now?

1009
00:43:58,320 --> 00:43:58,680
Speaker 4: Go ahead?

1010
00:43:58,760 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 5: I like it.

1011
00:43:59,239 --> 00:44:01,080
Speaker 4: Go ahead. It was a good moment of truth.

1012
00:44:01,080 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 2: That's you know, they'll feel more empowered to allow you

1013
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:07,880
Speaker 2: to help them make the necessary investments and changes so

1014
00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:11,000
Speaker 2: that they can financially benefit as well as you in

1015
00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:11,600
Speaker 2: the long run.

1016
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:15,319
Speaker 3: Kadel y'all.

1017
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:18,719
Speaker 2: Ellis my brain be working when it wants just a

1018
00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:20,200
Speaker 2: little chippy.

1019
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:21,440
Speaker 3: I love your brain.

1020
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:28,719
Speaker 4: Chill Chill. Find us on Patreon, y'all, because that's where

1021
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:29,160
Speaker 4: we at.

1022
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:31,840
Speaker 2: And I won't even say that the content is that

1023
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:33,280
Speaker 2: much cleaner over there.

1024
00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:34,399
Speaker 3: Because it's not.

1025
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:36,400
Speaker 4: We've been cutting up. On Patreon, y'all.

1026
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:39,080
Speaker 2: You can see exclusive dead Ass podcast content as well

1027
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 2: as more extended Ellis Family content, and you can find

1028
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:44,920
Speaker 2: us on social media at dead Ass the Podcast.

1029
00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:47,040
Speaker 3: I'm Kadeen I am and don't forget that.

1030
00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:48,319
Speaker 1: If you want to be featured as one of our

1031
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 1: listener letters, you can email us at then ask Advice

1032
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:51,840
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com.

1033
00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:54,360
Speaker 4: We did, We did that already. See your brain Fried.

1034
00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:55,879
Speaker 3: My brain Fred Well.

1035
00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:58,000
Speaker 6: I am devour And if you're listening on Apple podcast,

1036
00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:01,279
Speaker 6: be sure to rate, review and subscribe, and make sure

1037
00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:02,880
Speaker 6: you pick up your copy of We over Meet the

1038
00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:07,000
Speaker 6: counterintuitive approach you getting everything you want out of your relationship.

1039
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:11,040
Speaker 1: We should do a family one. We over Meet the Family. Addition,

1040
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:15,000
Speaker 1: kids to parents, Parents to.

1041
00:45:15,160 --> 00:45:20,160
Speaker 2: Kids, Doom Doom, Doom, Stay Tuned Baby, dead Ass.

1042
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:27,719
Speaker 1: Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast network and

1043
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:31,360
Speaker 1: it's produced by Donor, Opinia and Triple Follow the podcast

1044
00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:34,080
Speaker 1: on social media at dead Ass the Podcast and Never

1045
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:34,800
Speaker 1: miss a Thing