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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and Michael Coffin. And I've

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Speaker 1: heard radio podcast, So why do you hate listening back

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Speaker 1: to your podcast? Okay? This is like anything I do,

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Speaker 1: I feel like I just choose not to Otherwise I'm

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Speaker 1: just too hard on myself. Like sometimes if it's really funny,

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Speaker 1: I'll listen to that part back, or like little clips

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Speaker 1: I'll pick out for the like Instagram story or something.

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Speaker 1: But to listen to the whole thing, I'll be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: why didn't I say this? Or oh why did I

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Speaker 1: say that? When I know it's a good podcast anyway,

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Speaker 1: So I just need to leave it and not be

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Speaker 1: hard on myself. Wait time out? Should we intro? Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: I guess, or just people just hey, hang on for

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Speaker 1: the ride. Here we go name that person. It's a

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Speaker 1: fun game. But I think everyone knows. Um, we've got

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Speaker 1: Caitlin and Jason Um joining the Wine Down crew tonight,

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Speaker 1: so we're so excited. It's actually it is tonight. It's

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Speaker 1: Friday night, Friday night, even though you guys are hearing

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Speaker 1: this Monday morning, but still, but we got drinks in hand,

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Speaker 1: so this is the kind of vibe we have. We're

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Speaker 1: in our bed room. It's really intimate and it's I

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Speaker 1: feel like yeast barely said hello and they took us

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Speaker 1: right to the bedroom and oh, what's cool? What are

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Speaker 1: we doing here? Here? You go? No, but we just

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Speaker 1: we just I made Mike just start recording because we

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Speaker 1: started saying things and then it was good and I'm like, wait,

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Speaker 1: which like just stop? Do you I don't do you

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Speaker 1: listen to the podcast when we record. So the beginning

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Speaker 1: days I listened to it a lot because I use

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Speaker 1: that like film, like in sports, right, Like I was

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Speaker 1: trying to get better. Okay, how can I do this better?

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Speaker 1: How can I you know? And now that I always

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Speaker 1: want to keep improving, but I don't know. Recently I

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Speaker 1: haven't as much and I don't know if Caitlin is

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Speaker 1: kind of like you where I'm like, damn, I should

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Speaker 1: have said this one. Often I catch myself thinking that

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Speaker 1: and I'll say what I'm just thinking I should say.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, yeah, good job. Like literally I'm like

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Speaker 1: say this because I forget like what I said. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: oh yeah I did say that, great, yeah yeah yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean it probably would be good for to do that,

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Speaker 1: to listen to, you know, better yourself next time. But

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I think I'm doing okay, I criticized myself

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Speaker 1: too much if I do it. So like I'll read reviews,

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Speaker 1: which is like the worst thing ever to do that,

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Speaker 1: but I read them and I'm like, you're right, like

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Speaker 1: I'm being too hard on Mike. Okay, so like I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna not be as hard on Mike. And then I

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Speaker 1: say something out of being sarcastic. But then it's like, oh, no, crap,

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Speaker 1: like I forgot to edit that part out enough people

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Speaker 1: are going to think that I'm still it's always about Mike,

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Speaker 1: and Mike's always wrong and like and I'm like, shoot,

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Speaker 1: like yeah, it's not like how it usually is. It's

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Speaker 1: just welcome to relationships. I feel like that's just men

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Speaker 1: are so much better at um filtering and picking their battles.

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Speaker 1: They just are or I mean I think so is

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Speaker 1: that how it is on off the vine too? Yes? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well I don't read reviews, no, No. I mean like

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Speaker 1: with when Jason comes on, like do they ever say

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Speaker 1: it's more on like Instagram Stories or Instagram Live, people

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Speaker 1: are like Caitlin so mean to Jason. Well and maybe

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Speaker 1: in You're the super Bowl thing, people were chirping out

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Speaker 1: about that, So like, what did happen? I was chirping

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Speaker 1: him because you were having a day. No, I wasn't

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Speaker 1: having well, I have a lot of days, but I

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Speaker 1: feel like it was, um, we we have like a

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Speaker 1: lot of banter where we like poke at each other

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Speaker 1: a lot, and that's kind of like our sense of

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Speaker 1: humor too. That was a beer bottle as people on

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Speaker 1: Monday morning are listening, listening, But it was more that

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Speaker 1: I was poking fun because you said something. You like

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Speaker 1: dropped something about a division of soccer you were in,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, subtle flex or something. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh yeah, no, you were just anything

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Speaker 1: I said. She was just like, come over the top.

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Speaker 1: You're just having one of those days. And people are like,

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Speaker 1: take it easy. And the one thing I was I

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Speaker 1: was being facetious. I was making fun of myself. I

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Speaker 1: was playing a celebrity football game and I was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm a Division three former soccer player. I'm sure I'm

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Speaker 1: going to be in you know, good shape. Facetiously joke

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Speaker 1: you wrong. It's all former NFL guys, Like can I

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Speaker 1: say that? Take it out? It's my New York. It

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Speaker 1: comes out and Caitlin's like, oh, you're telling everybody played

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Speaker 1: college soccer. That's real cool. I'm like, Caitlin, I'm literally

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Speaker 1: making fun of myself here. But I didn't know that

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Speaker 1: because I don't know what division means and I didn't

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Speaker 1: know what you were saying. I thought you were like

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Speaker 1: pumping your own tires. Like, but I will stand up

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Speaker 1: for Caitlin though, because we are very we're very we're

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Speaker 1: from the same cloth, we're very sarcastic. We like to

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Speaker 1: give it out sometimes because of our own insecurities, like like,

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Speaker 1: I know that's on me too, and so sometimes when

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Speaker 1: I say things I don't I don't mean what I how,

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Speaker 1: it maybe comes out and if someone doesn't know me,

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Speaker 1: then it's like, oh, I could totally see how they

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Speaker 1: would think that sounded ugly. Or I'm picking out my

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Speaker 1: husband and that's like the farthest thing from the truth,

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Speaker 1: And like, I love my husband, I support him, and

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Speaker 1: we talk about all this together. So I feel like

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Speaker 1: that's that's frustrating sometimes when we're more kind of misunderstood.

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Speaker 1: But I'm working on it. But it's still hard because

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Speaker 1: I catch myself like biting you're not fine. I should

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Speaker 1: probably work on it a bit more, but no, I'm

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Speaker 1: the same way where I like, sometimes my delivery comes

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Speaker 1: out with a lot of attitude, and um, I'm very critical,

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Speaker 1: but I don't mean to be. It's just I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I'm like that with the people I love the most,

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Speaker 1: which is so silly because that's who you should like,

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Speaker 1: you know, be the easiest one. But I'm the most

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Speaker 1: critical with people I love. Jason, what is it for you?

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Speaker 1: I mean when when that happens, Like, do you ever

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Speaker 1: get upset? Because there's I know sometimes Mike will be like, hey,

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Speaker 1: like that. I know you were joking. We had, um,

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Speaker 1: you know, Sean and Andrew East, and we were at

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Speaker 1: dinner with them one night and I had said something

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Speaker 1: and I don't remember what it was. You might remember, Mike,

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Speaker 1: but you kind of pulled me aside and you're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I said something about divorce. And he's like, I know

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Speaker 1: you were saying that jokingly. He's like, but like, can

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Speaker 1: we just not throw those comments out anymore? And I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, And I kind of told him. I

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Speaker 1: was like, I I sometimes feel awkward around people. And

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Speaker 1: we're just starting to hang out again to be like

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Speaker 1: ha ha, like who knows? And and so I say

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Speaker 1: it out of uncomfortability, Yeah, to lighten the mood. So

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Speaker 1: that because maybe people are thinking that, but he's like

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Speaker 1: they weren't, so why do you have to say? And

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Speaker 1: so it's just one of the things where he's like,

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Speaker 1: don't like that hurt my feelings and I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: then I start to cry and then I feel awful

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, no, that's not what I meant. But

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Speaker 1: I mean, does that ever affect you when she does that?

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Speaker 1: So I think you you handle it really well. That's

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Speaker 1: how I handle it right, Like I take it offline.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't want to have this conversation here

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Speaker 1: at bookmark it And for me, it's just explaining where

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Speaker 1: you're coming from. I think in any confrontation or argument,

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Speaker 1: people always want to lead with their ego. They want

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Speaker 1: to lead with with emotion, and I'm going to take

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Speaker 1: over this and I'm gonna alpha this position, whether you're

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Speaker 1: a male or female, and that leads, in my opinion,

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Speaker 1: to nothing. In my opinion, like when we have confrontation,

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Speaker 1: I wanted to be principal, and when it's principal driven,

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Speaker 1: I want to have the conversation. I'm gonna fight like

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Speaker 1: hell for it. That's how you pick and choose your battles.

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Speaker 1: And when it's principal like driven, I expect that it

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Speaker 1: doesn't happen again. Right, So if we can't learn from

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Speaker 1: the fight yesterday and it doesn't better shape us for tomorrow,

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Speaker 1: then why the hell are we having the fight? So

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Speaker 1: let's just get to the core of it, understand each

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Speaker 1: other's percept and will be in a better position to

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Speaker 1: like succeed as a couple. He's very good at that.

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Speaker 1: I need to learn more from Jason. Actual. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: usually how interviews go with us. I mean, he is

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Speaker 1: so well spoken and says everything, and I'm always like,

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Speaker 1: uh huhoken, I say things wrong and I asked the

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Speaker 1: weird questions and he looks at me, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I know, I'm an idiot. Exactly how we are. I

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Speaker 1: feel like we are like mirroring each other right now,

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Speaker 1: like I'm just in a mirror. But that's I did

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Speaker 1: work on it though. The other night, it was my

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Speaker 1: birthday and we did this like boat party, social distancing

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Speaker 1: boat party, and we had like a few people back

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Speaker 1: at the house after and Jason was what the kids

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Speaker 1: say lit? And he was on fire and he I'm

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Speaker 1: looking over and he's got a cigar lit in the house,

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Speaker 1: in my kitchen, and I had just spent this money

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Speaker 1: on a farm style sink that I was like so

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Speaker 1: proud of, and I it was just he ash in

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Speaker 1: the sink. Not only did he ash in the sink,

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Speaker 1: but he put it out in the sink when I

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Speaker 1: was like, I was like, what are you doing with

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Speaker 1: a cigar in the kitchen? And he thought he was

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Speaker 1: doing the right thing because he panicked, like, oh what

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Speaker 1: am I doing? And he put it out in the

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Speaker 1: sink and I was like, And usually at that point

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Speaker 1: of the night, I probably would have started an argument,

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Speaker 1: but I just took myself into my bedroom. I shut

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Speaker 1: my closet door, and I gave myself a fifteen minute

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Speaker 1: like time out, power nap, and I I just recharged

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Speaker 1: the batteries for like fifteen minutes, got back up, and

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Speaker 1: came back out and I let it go. That was

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Speaker 1: I think that's a great example, but also a terrible

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Speaker 1: example because we had been going after it since like

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Speaker 1: two pm. And like I called my college buddies at night,

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Speaker 1: like some of my bids are still close with the like,

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Speaker 1: we have not seen you that drunk and probably eight

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Speaker 1: nine years and when I tell you, that's how drunk

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Speaker 1: I was at the time I got back to the house.

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Speaker 1: You know, I would never have a lit cigar in

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Speaker 1: the house, but I was. I didn't. I didn't even

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Speaker 1: know I did. That said you were so lit because

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Speaker 1: you wouldn't of course wouldn't do that. You just weren't

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Speaker 1: thinking like you're you could tell his wheel started turning

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Speaker 1: as soon as I looked at him and was like,

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Speaker 1: what are you doing? You're like, oh, you panicked and

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Speaker 1: put it on the thing. But I think the takeaway

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Speaker 1: from that, right, the takeaway is that like can parliamentalize

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Speaker 1: and have conversations that are like meaningful and productive instead

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Speaker 1: of just reacting with ego intomotion because it's just in

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Speaker 1: my opinion and my experience, it leads to almost nothing good.

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Speaker 1: You call each other names and it becomes the ego.

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Speaker 1: Then you battle and then you fight for what where's

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Speaker 1: it going? And so I'm I don't really enjoy conflict.

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Speaker 1: But if we're going to have conflict, in my opinion,

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Speaker 1: like let's make it super super constructive, right, we just

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Speaker 1: we just had a couple of therapy session the other

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Speaker 1: day and we're talking about it. Where thinking back on

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Speaker 1: the last you know, a few months, six weeks or so,

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Speaker 1: really we've acknowledged that we've done that a lot better

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Speaker 1: like ourselves, like both of us have where it's there's

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Speaker 1: times where our pride or egos want to step up

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Speaker 1: and I I historically want to get defensive. I think

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Speaker 1: things personal, which I learned to get from both parents.

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Speaker 1: I had an epiphany last week. Um, and so it's

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Speaker 1: one of those things that it's always kind of been

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Speaker 1: an issue with us. But the fact that we're starting

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Speaker 1: to do that, we're allowing each other to have our

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Speaker 1: feelings to be like, Okay, it's yours as much as

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Speaker 1: I want to react and get on my mountain and

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Speaker 1: plant my flag and you know, and she wants to

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Speaker 1: do the same thing. We're starting to get that kind

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Speaker 1: of dance back and forth of being able to do

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Speaker 1: that and listening, like I'll say, you might have been

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Speaker 1: like over the past six weeks too. I think our

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Speaker 1: couple of theist therapist is actually shocked. But when you said,

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Speaker 1: and I don't mean that sarcastically, like you know, he

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Speaker 1: was just you know when we were saying, like, when

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Speaker 1: I come to you with something that maybe is triggering

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Speaker 1: to me or upsetting to me, you you're not defensive

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Speaker 1: and you listen and you empathize, and like your empathy

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Speaker 1: level has been like through the roof and like the

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Speaker 1: best you've ever been. So like, I see that and

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Speaker 1: acknowledge that, and I really appreciate that because it does

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Speaker 1: wonders for me when like you listen and you hear

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Speaker 1: and you don't go straight to the well, you know.

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Speaker 1: But also it's probably because you've learned to talk about

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Speaker 1: your triggers more openly and and tell him how you're feeling,

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Speaker 1: like it's it's it is. It is absolutely is a

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Speaker 1: combination because if she was still reacting from a hurt

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Speaker 1: place telling me these things and like just coming after me,

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Speaker 1: it would be hard for me to be like, honey,

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Speaker 1: I love you. I want to be like, yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: what is y'all's biggest confrontation, Like in the relationship waits,

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Speaker 1: how long have you guys? Wait? First off, you were

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Speaker 1: the bachelorette in what year? Two? Yeah? Um? From then

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Speaker 1: from that time on, when did you meet Jason? Here

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Speaker 1: was that? And that the first time you guys met? Yes,

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Speaker 1: what was the interaction when you guys met? I love

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Speaker 1: this story because it's adorable and so us and funny.

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Speaker 1: But I was going through the breakup like publicly. It

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Speaker 1: had already happened, but I was going through it publicly.

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Speaker 1: Actually not even publicly at the time. Um it was

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Speaker 1: about to come out to be public the breakup, and

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Speaker 1: I was in Seattle to be with a girlfriend because

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Speaker 1: she was helping me through a hard time. And I

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Speaker 1: was like, well, I might as well see who's in

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Speaker 1: Seattle to podcast with. And so there's a few bachelor

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Speaker 1: people there, and so I reached out to like um

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Speaker 1: who Dez and a few Bachelor people Olivia and then

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Speaker 1: Jason and he was gonna and Jason, you were on

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Speaker 1: Becca season. So I was like, oh, I'll get a

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Speaker 1: bachelor podcast in And Jason wasn't going to come because

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Speaker 1: he had, like I something wrong with your eye and

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Speaker 1: you're like one of those things called Actually it wasn't,

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Speaker 1: it wasn't. He was a pink eye, know it. Remember

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Speaker 1: when I farted on my pillows it was the sty

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Speaker 1: I think actually it was like a big it was

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Speaker 1: on my eyelid. It just like got super selected yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, I'm so like depressed, I

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Speaker 1: don't want to go podcast. But we both like battled

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Speaker 1: and somehow made it. And when I when he showed up,

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Speaker 1: I had just been face timing with my dad and sobbing,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, Oh my gosh, this is so embarrassing.

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Speaker 1: He's going to come in and like see me crying

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Speaker 1: and there's like no feelings at this point because I

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Speaker 1: didn't had never met him. And so he walked in

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Speaker 1: and he's Jason's energy is electric all the time, and

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Speaker 1: he's just like this really like you spend two minutes

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Speaker 1: around him and you're like in a better mood. And

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Speaker 1: so he came in and I was like, I'm like

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Speaker 1: having a really hard day and he just gave me

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Speaker 1: like a huge hug and he's like, I just came

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Speaker 1: from like a charity event where I cried and you're crying.

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Speaker 1: He goes, We'll just like have some wine. He brought

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Speaker 1: a bottle of wine and a wine opener and two

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Speaker 1: glasses back. It was, yeah, we did. I brought a

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Speaker 1: girl along with me from Bachelor World, Olivia, because she

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Speaker 1: was in Seattle, and I Olivia from Ben season. Yes,

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Speaker 1: when she was the big mouth. Yeah, she's so sweet.

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Speaker 1: She's the sweetest, she's so funny, and so I brought

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Speaker 1: her as a buffer because I was like, I'm in

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Speaker 1: this weird place and like I need like a sidekick.

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Speaker 1: Well it ended up being like she she didn't even

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Speaker 1: like come in on. The conversation was just like this

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Speaker 1: energy between Jason I that I again didn't realize until

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Speaker 1: listeners were like, whoa, you guys, your chemistry is off

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Speaker 1: the charts and like if something doesn't work out with Seawan,

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Speaker 1: you should be with Jason. And I was like, whoa.

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Speaker 1: People like don't even know that that news is about

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Speaker 1: to come out, and so um, Jason, let you tell

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Speaker 1: him on the side, like, hey, by the way, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm about to be done with or did I I

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Speaker 1: think I said I was. I think it was like

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Speaker 1: it was in my opinion, a lot of people have

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Speaker 1: been talking about it. And then she shows up crying

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Speaker 1: and based on what you were saying to Olivia could

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Speaker 1: over here. I'm like, Okay, something's not I don't know

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Speaker 1: what's going on, but I'm not I didn't stop on that.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not asking, I don't But my

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Speaker 1: favorite part of The story is that we left the

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Speaker 1: podcast and I called a friend and said, oh, I

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Speaker 1: hope he's the next bachelor. And he called a friend

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Speaker 1: and said, I think I just met my future wife.

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Speaker 1: And then and then over like a couple of weeks

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Speaker 1: of talking, I was like, because, were you in the

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Speaker 1: running to be the next Bachelor? Yeah? Who ended up

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Speaker 1: being it? It was between Colton, myself, and Blake that year.

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Speaker 1: So we all went through and we were buddies, so

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Speaker 1: we all went through, like the blood test, the fingerprints. Oh,

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Speaker 1: they go through everything test you got it. Then they

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Speaker 1: do your fingerprints than they do They were calling people

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Speaker 1: background check from ten years ago. There was a friend

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Speaker 1: of mine I hadn't talked since college and they had

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Speaker 1: called him. He was my college roommate and they were

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Speaker 1: so they do their due diligence, and then they didn't

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Speaker 1: tell us. We had no idea going it. Actually, wait

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Speaker 1: a second, I'm going to call you out here because

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Speaker 1: they wait a second, because they it was the day

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Speaker 1: before Labor Day. They texted all three of us meet

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Speaker 1: Blake and Golden said we're gonna call you guys in

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Speaker 1: the next couple of hours and tell you who we picked.

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Speaker 1: And they picked Colton. So when you interviewed me was

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Speaker 1: after yes, I said you should have been the Bachelor. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: I was like rooting for you to be the Bachelor,

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Speaker 1: and I kept saying, and this is I wrote a

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Speaker 1: song the other day about how Jason like when I

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Speaker 1: met him, I was like, Oh, that guy's gonna be

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Speaker 1: so good for somebody, Like I can't like he's just

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Speaker 1: going to be did you. We're just not in it

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Speaker 1: at that moment, like you just my mind, not even

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Speaker 1: for a second you thought. I was like, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: be single for another five years until I find the

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Speaker 1: right person. Like, there's no way I'm going to find

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Speaker 1: somebody at I am like all the things I'm looking for,

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Speaker 1: And of course at that point and in your thirties,

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Speaker 1: you kind of really start to know like who you

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Speaker 1: are and what you need and what you want. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, there's no way. I wrote it down

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Speaker 1: on paper everything I would want in a guy, and

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Speaker 1: I said, if I found somebody that was six of

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Speaker 1: this list, I would be lucky. And the only thing

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Speaker 1: that Jason didn't cross off on my list was I

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Speaker 1: didn't want to date somebody from the Bachelor world. Everything

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Speaker 1: else I was like, holy moly, you're literally everything that

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Speaker 1: I wrote out. It's like I did it on a

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Speaker 1: vision board and like found you immediately, like it was crazy.

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Speaker 1: So on what you just said, you didn't want to

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Speaker 1: date anyone from the Bachelor World. Does that is that

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Speaker 1: common from most of you a lum that come from that,

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Speaker 1: or is it also there's a mutual understanding where you

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Speaker 1: can kind of connect on that as well. I don't

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Speaker 1: know why I felt that way, and I think a

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Speaker 1: lot of people that come off the show say the

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Speaker 1: same thing, Like it's like musicians, I'm not going to

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Speaker 1: date another musician. I don't know. It's like I don't

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Speaker 1: know why, if it's an ego thing or I'm not sure,

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Speaker 1: but I just think I was a little bit jaded

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Speaker 1: from a relationship coming out of that show and the

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Speaker 1: like shame and negativity that surrounded that relationship that I

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Speaker 1: didn't want to go back into that. But I mean,

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Speaker 1: I can say I think that's probably more of like

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Speaker 1: a history thing because most of the guys that came

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Speaker 1: up our season we were totally up to go be

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Speaker 1: the lead or to maybe go to Paradise things like that,

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Speaker 1: So I think it's it's an instant thing that you

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Speaker 1: just understand because you go through this weird, kind of

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Speaker 1: life changing, super unique situation and you're dealing with producers

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Speaker 1: and all this outside noise, and it happened so quickly,

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Speaker 1: so it's an easy thing to kind of connect over.

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Speaker 1: And that's why I think a lot of the relationships

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Speaker 1: are at least sparked. So when did it happen? Who?

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Speaker 1: Then contacted who? So we started talking for a little

385
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Speaker 1: bit and she friend zoned me, but it was just

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Speaker 1: like banter. So we were like kind of chirping each other,

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Speaker 1: a little text in here and there, nothing, but I

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Speaker 1: was like, it was strictly friend zone. So then people say,

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Speaker 1: how did you break down the friend zone? So I

390
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Speaker 1: was like, I gotta there's a lot of like texting

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Speaker 1: and both going on. We gotta get to that. We

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Speaker 1: gotta break this down. So this girl who's kind of

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Speaker 1: in the media or whatever, I wanted to go on

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Speaker 1: a date. So I'm like, oh, this is great. I'm

395
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:10,880
Speaker 1: gonna press this. I'm gonna like, you know, my bro

396
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Speaker 1: over here, KB, I'm gonna be like, what do you think?

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Speaker 1: Did she meet your standard? So I was like, hey,

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Speaker 1: this girl like was pursuing me, she wants to go

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Speaker 1: on a date, I'm thinking about doing it? What do

400
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:21,680
Speaker 1: you think? And I shot him? I shot her like

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00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:25,480
Speaker 1: a picture and and I'm like, I thought Kate went

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00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:28,399
Speaker 1: honestly at this point, based on my reciprocation conversation, I

403
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,399
Speaker 1: thought should be like, hell yeah, go for go have

404
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Speaker 1: a date, like have a go broke like slap on

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Speaker 1: the ask. And she was like, fired up, you could

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Speaker 1: do better than that. What are you gonna go on

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Speaker 1: a date with this person? You don't need to settle

408
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Speaker 1: for something. I was like, okay, test number one worked.

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Speaker 1: That's brilliant. It was brilliant and I and it was

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Speaker 1: in that moment that I was like do I have

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Speaker 1: feelings for this? That It was literally in the I'll

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Speaker 1: never forget. I was in the bath having a glass

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Speaker 1: of whiskey when you sent that to me, and I

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Speaker 1: remember being like I remember being like that like affected

415
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Speaker 1: me and I didn't want you to do it, and

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Speaker 1: I got really weird about it. And then I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: do I feelings? I guess I do? And then now

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Speaker 1: how long have you? Hasn't dating for about a year

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Speaker 1: and a half. It's January of eighteen. January of nineteen.

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Speaker 1: So I was just at a little neighborhood outdoor. I

421
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,520
Speaker 1: feel like we have to like asterix things when we

422
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Speaker 1: say it was outdoor. It was birthday, but there was um.

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Speaker 1: But I was just over there and I was talking

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Speaker 1: to my friend Pamelin and I was like, oh, yeah,

425
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:48,800
Speaker 1: like we're podcasting. My friend Kulin Bristo was coming over

426
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:52,520
Speaker 1: and her her boyfriend Jason, and she's like, oh, are

427
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:55,760
Speaker 1: they engaged? And I was like, I don't think so.

428
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:57,480
Speaker 1: I was like, I think I would have known that,

429
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,080
Speaker 1: or I would have seen at least on Instagram. And

430
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:02,160
Speaker 1: she's like, oh, I just read it they're getting engaged soon.

431
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:10,320
Speaker 1: And I was like, I'll ask. Was just going to say, oh,

432
00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:12,800
Speaker 1: so we have it coming soon. We've talked about it

433
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:16,399
Speaker 1: for like probably a year, which is crazy, um, because

434
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:19,920
Speaker 1: I again I thought I was jaded. I've been engaged before.

435
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:22,200
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do it again, like anytime soon.

436
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:25,320
Speaker 1: And then uh, yeah, we've we've talked about it for

437
00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:28,080
Speaker 1: probably a year. Yeah. Well, the irony of it is

438
00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:30,600
Speaker 1: that the greatest what do they call it, the greatest

439
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:33,560
Speaker 1: seasons of all times? So, Caitlin season just aired last week.

440
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,480
Speaker 1: They had was your first time you watched, right, Yeah,

441
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:40,119
Speaker 1: I mean I didn't watch because I was watching your

442
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:41,879
Speaker 1: stories and it's like the first time that he's like

443
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:44,840
Speaker 1: seeing it. Her and my mom got after it that

444
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:51,000
Speaker 1: night and my dad was like the ultimate dad slash bro.

445
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,520
Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, let's go play some cards, Like come on,

446
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:56,040
Speaker 1: let's have a drink. So I like, I came in,

447
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:58,840
Speaker 1: I'd sit down, I'd see someone I'm like, I'm not

448
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:02,960
Speaker 1: fond of I'd walk Uh. It was. It was weird

449
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:06,200
Speaker 1: because I think it's hard for anyone to watch that,

450
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:09,560
Speaker 1: but you have known for so long the history of

451
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,440
Speaker 1: my season that you're kind of like, why already knew

452
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:14,280
Speaker 1: this happened? And this was five years ago, and like

453
00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:17,439
Speaker 1: it kind of probably I'm speaking for you, but like

454
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:19,760
Speaker 1: it helped to know that you already knew everything that

455
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:22,840
Speaker 1: happened anyways, and he's friends with all those people, so

456
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:27,320
Speaker 1: it's like, honestly, to bring the conversation full circle, like

457
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:31,439
Speaker 1: talking about ego and principal Eagle, who whoever wants to

458
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:33,960
Speaker 1: see the person that they're in love with today with

459
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:37,679
Speaker 1: thirty other people and witness it on TV? No one

460
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:42,479
Speaker 1: and if you answer yes to that, but principle like,

461
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:44,679
Speaker 1: if she didn't have that experience and I didn't go

462
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:46,760
Speaker 1: on this show, we would have never met, we'd never

463
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:49,879
Speaker 1: be here today. So you know, we weren't thrilled that

464
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 1: they're rearing the season, but as a result of the show,

465
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:55,600
Speaker 1: we're here. And at the end, what were We'll come

466
00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:57,639
Speaker 1: back to what the question was. I thought you had

467
00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:00,919
Speaker 1: a ring in your pocket. Oh yes, yes, So so

468
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:05,040
Speaker 1: at the end, Chris Harrison goes, now, Caitlin, you know

469
00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:07,560
Speaker 1: I'm an officiant and oh that was the Dancing with

470
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:10,480
Speaker 1: the Stars thing? Yes, and so, which, by the way, congratulations,

471
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:12,080
Speaker 1: cause I know how long you've wanted to do that.

472
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:14,760
Speaker 1: I'll never forget our conversation when you went on and

473
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 1: you're like you need to go, and I was like,

474
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 1: you go enjoy it. I just because I heard that

475
00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:21,119
Speaker 1: you were like black bald from it, like they're like,

476
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:22,560
Speaker 1: he'll never let you do it. There was a whole,

477
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:24,360
Speaker 1: the whole thing. But I was just like, I mean,

478
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:26,640
Speaker 1: you're the you're the dancer. Like I almost felt bad,

479
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 1: like when I was like you said that, and I

480
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:31,399
Speaker 1: remember being like, no, this is exciting. Be happy about

481
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,119
Speaker 1: it. It It was awesome and I was so glad and

482
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:35,600
Speaker 1: happy for you wait, but then we're so then he said,

483
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,080
Speaker 1: will you be on Dancing with the Stars? But were you?

484
00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:42,280
Speaker 1: Then a little slightly bummed that it wasn't no, because

485
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 1: he said, because I think I would. He said, I

486
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:47,920
Speaker 1: have a question that's going to change your life. Change

487
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:50,000
Speaker 1: that would? I think I'd be upset because it's like

488
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,600
Speaker 1: in my back of my mind like, oh my god,

489
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:54,080
Speaker 1: I'm over here, I have no idea what's going on? Okay,

490
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,400
Speaker 1: all right, so yeah, so I'm gonna I'm gonna paint

491
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 1: the god text here. So her show airs. After her

492
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:01,600
Speaker 1: show airs, they do an interview with her. Said Caitlin, like,

493
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,280
Speaker 1: what do you think about all that? This was tough?

494
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,399
Speaker 1: She gives a breakdown. Well, let's bring out where you

495
00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:08,399
Speaker 1: are today. You're here with Jason. Jason's one of you

496
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:10,679
Speaker 1: guys are a great couple. How's everything going? They asked us,

497
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:12,720
Speaker 1: how did you meet? We got into it. Then he

498
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:15,159
Speaker 1: stops and we think the interview is done, and he

499
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:18,000
Speaker 1: said Chris Harrison says, Caitlin, before we end, I have

500
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:20,840
Speaker 1: a question that's going to change your life. Are you preparing?

501
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:24,959
Speaker 1: He just told me he was an efficient Yeah, And

502
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:28,080
Speaker 1: the fact is, none of us know about this. Caitlyn

503
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:31,040
Speaker 1: grabs my pocket and I was working. I was working

504
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:32,919
Speaker 1: late that day, so I had my shirt when I

505
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:35,439
Speaker 1: was wearing, but my pants. I had work pants and

506
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:41,119
Speaker 1: had my ear pods in there, so Caitlin's and I

507
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 1: was like, no, no, they're my ear pods laughing. But

508
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 1: I wasn't disappointed because I would have throat chopped him

509
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:51,480
Speaker 1: if he proposed after that, because it just showed my

510
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:54,280
Speaker 1: relationship with Sean, then my engagement to Nick, and then

511
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 1: if we went after to an interview and that's when

512
00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:59,240
Speaker 1: Jason proposed, I would have been like, no, wrong. Oh,

513
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:01,960
Speaker 1: Like when he said, I was like, wait, yeah, he tried.

514
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:10,320
Speaker 1: It was but but they had just showed that, so

515
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 1: I was like, that wouldn't be special to have Jason

516
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:14,560
Speaker 1: men and and he already knew I didn't want to

517
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,679
Speaker 1: do it on a TV show, so I was like,

518
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 1: I mean Dancing with the Stars was like the best, Like, yes,

519
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 1: it was, you know, I was even more t to it, right,

520
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:26,359
Speaker 1: So they actually asked me to propose to Caitlin at

521
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:28,399
Speaker 1: that time. So producers asked me, hey, we'll get you

522
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:31,479
Speaker 1: Neil Lane ring, Well, we'll take care of it. So

523
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:33,800
Speaker 1: I didn't tell Caitlin. I thought about it for a day.

524
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:36,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I'm not gonna, you know, nice to

525
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:37,959
Speaker 1: the producers. They didn't push me at all. They just said, hey,

526
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:39,680
Speaker 1: if you want to do it, go ahead. I would

527
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 1: have said yes and just not done it. Kept the range, yeah,

528
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:46,720
Speaker 1: but for sure there'd be a contract. Yeah, exactly. So

529
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:48,560
Speaker 1: I declined that they were totally cool with it, and

530
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,320
Speaker 1: then like the time out. Would you have been bummed

531
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:52,359
Speaker 1: if he did that? Though, Like, and you would have

532
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,800
Speaker 1: I mean probably not super bummed because I can't wait

533
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,960
Speaker 1: to marry him, but at the same time, I would

534
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 1: have been bummed that that's how it went down. Okay, sorry,

535
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:04,160
Speaker 1: continue no. And then about a week later, I said, hey,

536
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:05,920
Speaker 1: I want to let you know they came to me,

537
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:08,200
Speaker 1: I made the decision. I said no. She's like, thank god,

538
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want that at this time in this situation.

539
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:14,000
Speaker 1: But I think you thought I was playing like reverse psychology, right,

540
00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:19,440
Speaker 1: So it was if you watched that that interview, I

541
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:23,160
Speaker 1: was like, I like freaked out. And then he pulled

542
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:25,360
Speaker 1: out that EarPods or air pods whatever there and I

543
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:28,679
Speaker 1: was like, oh my gosh, and Harrison was dying laughing,

544
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:32,600
Speaker 1: but yeah, that's fantastic To answer your question, Yes, we

545
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 1: will get engaged soon because I remember when I talked

546
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 1: to you, you were like, I don't want to stay

547
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:40,240
Speaker 1: in Nashville. So has that now changed? It's changed a

548
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 1: little bit. Nashville's grown on me. Um. I think what's

549
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:44,119
Speaker 1: great is we're gonna be out in l A for

550
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 1: a little bit, so it'll be something different. We'll get

551
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 1: to kind of like test the waters and hopefully. Yeah,

552
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:51,680
Speaker 1: I mean, I think if we lived in LA would

553
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:53,720
Speaker 1: be very short term. Where would you want to live?

554
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,199
Speaker 1: Because I know you said you were in I know

555
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:59,760
Speaker 1: you're from Buffalo, from Seattles where you were working, Seattle

556
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:03,720
Speaker 1: was working. Um, I wouldn't go back to Seattle. And

557
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:07,239
Speaker 1: so let's hash it out right now. Where do you

558
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:09,480
Speaker 1: want to live? Yeah? I don't know. We talked about

559
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 1: this often, I think now about a year, but we

560
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 1: traveled so much so Quarantine spen the first time we've

561
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:18,160
Speaker 1: actually spent time here. But I think Nashville is probably

562
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,280
Speaker 1: where we'll end up. If I were to live anywhere else,

563
00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:24,560
Speaker 1: I'd say somewhere like I do, like Dallas, Texas, Austin, Texas, Denver.

564
00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 1: But I'm sensing it. I just I don't know where

565
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:31,320
Speaker 1: i'd want to live. Like part of me wants to

566
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:35,639
Speaker 1: move back to Canada, but Jason is not totally on

567
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:39,639
Speaker 1: board with that. Um. But I'm like, I'm more thinking

568
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:44,040
Speaker 1: long term, like having kids and being around family. Um.

569
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 1: But I mean nothing wrong with I love Canada. Just yeah,

570
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:48,920
Speaker 1: but your family is close to us in Nashville, which

571
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:53,560
Speaker 1: is nice. But I love Nashville and I could Johnny

572
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:57,679
Speaker 1: where we're at is very great school Well, that's another

573
00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:00,440
Speaker 1: thing we talked about, is is the next move we make.

574
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:02,679
Speaker 1: We want to make sure that if we do settle

575
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:05,200
Speaker 1: down there, that there's good schools and we've that's something

576
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:07,320
Speaker 1: we talk about. If we stay in Nashville, We're coming

577
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:09,800
Speaker 1: out this without a doubt. And I would say Vegas,

578
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,639
Speaker 1: odds have it anything like chance we stay in So

579
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:17,920
Speaker 1: you're here, I think, so yeah. So when this all happens,

580
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:20,440
Speaker 1: you guys get engaged, you get married. Let's circle back

581
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:22,359
Speaker 1: to what is the one thing you think it's going

582
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 1: to be kind of that problem area in your relationship,

583
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:26,439
Speaker 1: because we we talk about that in a relationship, what

584
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:28,720
Speaker 1: is what is our biggest problem? So what for you guys,

585
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:31,840
Speaker 1: is that thing that's going to just kind of weigh

586
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 1: on you. I think I know, and maybe I don't

587
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:37,119
Speaker 1: know if you have a different perspective, But for me,

588
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:40,520
Speaker 1: I think it'll be that I like things a certain

589
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,600
Speaker 1: way and I feel like even with dogs, I like

590
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:46,840
Speaker 1: have this motherly instinct where I don't. I feel like

591
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:49,440
Speaker 1: sometimes Jason can't do things right, like where I'm like,

592
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 1: how do you not know to do that? Like I

593
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:54,040
Speaker 1: feel like that's going to be when we have kids

594
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:57,560
Speaker 1: that I'm going to need to be aware of how

595
00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:01,640
Speaker 1: hard I am on you, because I'm going to think

596
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:04,760
Speaker 1: like I have motherly instincts and I know what to do,

597
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,719
Speaker 1: and I'm going to worry about how your is this

598
00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:13,640
Speaker 1: sound familiar? You do are cut from the same thing,

599
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 1: but not to fault though, because you even said like

600
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:20,680
Speaker 1: you rely on essentially me and Caitlin like the well,

601
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,200
Speaker 1: you're the managers. Yeah, we talked about that one of

602
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,560
Speaker 1: the podcasts, like I'm just the house mom manager. So

603
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:27,880
Speaker 1: it's like he does rely on me for knowing the

604
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:29,880
Speaker 1: schedules and the kids in this, but he can do

605
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 1: it too, like he I deliver on it. And the

606
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 1: thing is is but he's not allowed to change it.

607
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:37,160
Speaker 1: I'm the only the one, and that's where we're That's

608
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:39,640
Speaker 1: where weird argue because she'd be like, why isn't James down,

609
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:41,000
Speaker 1: like you gotta, He's gotta be down this time, it's

610
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:45,520
Speaker 1: like a minute after I'm sorry, I'm going down, And

611
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:47,920
Speaker 1: then and then like two days later, she's just like,

612
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 1: I'm like, I didn't have to go to bed. She's

613
00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 1: like fifteen minutes past his bedtime. Jake, No, it's okay.

614
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:55,960
Speaker 1: He slept a little later today and his maps staying

615
00:29:56,000 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 1: with mom. I'm like, what the just making the rule

616
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:03,680
Speaker 1: that's right. So I'm like a by Caitlin's like instinct,

617
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:05,560
Speaker 1: I'm by the book, Like you can't say one thing

618
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 1: and then do the other. And also you can't just

619
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:10,200
Speaker 1: come up with these hypotheses because that's what it makes

620
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:12,240
Speaker 1: sense to you when literally you can do research that

621
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 1: everything in the world tells you that's not the truth.

622
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:16,120
Speaker 1: So we get into a lot of arguments of like

623
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:18,640
Speaker 1: what is right or wrong for the dogs And I'm

624
00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:20,960
Speaker 1: more with the dogs. I'm more like I'm more like

625
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:23,360
Speaker 1: up in the air, but like kids, I won't But like,

626
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,600
Speaker 1: I think that's where we're both hard nosed with where

627
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:28,760
Speaker 1: we believe are certain things like you'll always make you

628
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 1: always think you're right right, and I'll be like, well

629
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:34,280
Speaker 1: that's you say that, so I think that like that,

630
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 1: But but we do find ways to compromise, because you

631
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:41,280
Speaker 1: if you can't compromise, it's not gonna work. So it's

632
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:42,960
Speaker 1: gonna be give and take and you pick and choose

633
00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:45,320
Speaker 1: your battles. That's what I've learned. At least. What's the

634
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:47,520
Speaker 1: one thing with Caitlin that You're like, this is gonna

635
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:52,800
Speaker 1: bother me? Yeah, I think. Let's see. I think the

636
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 1: biggest thing with Caitlin that I work on is that

637
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 1: I think I think I think very logically and rationally,

638
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:02,440
Speaker 1: and I'm not extremely emotional, and it's okay to be emotional,

639
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:05,480
Speaker 1: but I am. Also the big thing is I've always

640
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:08,000
Speaker 1: learned to cope with things really well, so I can

641
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:11,600
Speaker 1: something happens and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna deal with

642
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 1: my feelings. I'm gonna cope and I'm gonna find a

643
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:22,040
Speaker 1: way to solve It's okay, a mirror literally, I'm a

644
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 1: little bit more emotional for sure, but okay, that's fair.

645
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:28,520
Speaker 1: And then like I think Caitlyn, like the coping thing.

646
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:32,960
Speaker 1: Caitlin doesn't cope very well, and that drives me before

647
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:36,640
Speaker 1: Like it was so when I went through a really

648
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:38,840
Speaker 1: rough time in my twenties, it was the first time

649
00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:41,120
Speaker 1: I went to a therapist and she talked me through

650
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:44,360
Speaker 1: all these things and she looked at me and she goes, oh, Caitlin,

651
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:46,800
Speaker 1: you have not been taught any coping skills. You don't

652
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:49,720
Speaker 1: know how to cope. And I was like, whoa ding dinging.

653
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:51,880
Speaker 1: The light went off the moment I was like, I

654
00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:54,960
Speaker 1: don't know how to cope. Um through my childhood like

655
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 1: and nothing against my parents. They were just trying to

656
00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 1: do as best. But my mom always wanted to fix

657
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:00,720
Speaker 1: things and make it right, and she wanted to like

658
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 1: make sure I was always happy, and that's obviously her

659
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:06,560
Speaker 1: way of showing love. But I never really had to

660
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 1: cope with things. And so I learned in my twenties

661
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 1: that I'm not good at coping. And that's something that

662
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 1: I've really genuinely worked on from twenty seven to now.

663
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:17,720
Speaker 1: So you can only imagine what I was like at

664
00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:22,040
Speaker 1: twenty seven, but but to now, I'm like, that's still

665
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,320
Speaker 1: something I need to for sure work on. Is my

666
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 1: coping skills. Yeah, I just I'm a little dramatic. Is

667
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 1: that when you're dramatic too, and and when you resolve

668
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:35,280
Speaker 1: your fights and conflicts too. I mean, are you though,

669
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:36,720
Speaker 1: I want to talk about it or do you want

670
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:39,120
Speaker 1: to go away? Or do you want to slam doors?

671
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 1: I do both. I have I mean, previous relationships to

672
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,959
Speaker 1: this one. It's so wild how different I am because

673
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:49,080
Speaker 1: I feel safe. I've never felt safe in a relationship

674
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:52,160
Speaker 1: until this relationship. So I deal with conflict different and

675
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:56,520
Speaker 1: insecurities differently because I don't question him leaving me or

676
00:32:56,680 --> 00:33:00,200
Speaker 1: like get all insecure. I'm like, I feel safe and up.

677
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:02,640
Speaker 1: So I'm like, I deal with all of my insecurities

678
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,560
Speaker 1: differently now where before I probably would have slammed doors

679
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:07,800
Speaker 1: and through a fit. And I could still do that,

680
00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 1: of course, but like again that happened since laughing. But

681
00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:15,200
Speaker 1: it's like you should like in this relationship compared to

682
00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:17,640
Speaker 1: last time, like a whole other person. Here's where I

683
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:19,520
Speaker 1: give you a ton of credit, and this is really important.

684
00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:22,440
Speaker 1: It's like the slam doors thing will happen, like the

685
00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 1: sudden reaction happens, and then the emotional part and then

686
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,000
Speaker 1: the best part about you is what with time and

687
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 1: just dealing with it. You totally come around and you're like, Okay,

688
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:33,480
Speaker 1: here's where I was right, and here's where I was wrong,

689
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:35,200
Speaker 1: and here's where I think you were right, and here's

690
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:37,800
Speaker 1: where I think you were wrong. And that's how the

691
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 1: relationship works at that point, because then I sit down

692
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 1: and say, you're right, I was wrong. I think accountability

693
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:45,200
Speaker 1: is huge, and you have to be willing to take accountability,

694
00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 1: and I think we do a pretty good job of that.

695
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:49,840
Speaker 1: Over a year and a half. How many times do

696
00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:57,200
Speaker 1: you think I've slammed a door? Be honest, what do

697
00:33:57,280 --> 00:34:00,280
Speaker 1: you think? Oh my gosh, I thought you were really

698
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:02,080
Speaker 1: thinking about it, because you're probably like I don't know,

699
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:12,160
Speaker 1: maybe twice, oh yeah, like quick little bull not like

700
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:16,640
Speaker 1: full arm swinging, oh like half like like oh you're

701
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 1: annoying me. Boom yeah, okay, god. I was like, wow,

702
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:24,239
Speaker 1: am I that? I thought it'd got a long way.

703
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:30,920
Speaker 1: I think you're doing great. We're doing great. I love this. Look,

704
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:33,160
Speaker 1: don't feel bad. I shattered his phone like a few

705
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:38,960
Speaker 1: months ago. So while I was taking a shower, I'm like, no,

706
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:41,280
Speaker 1: I didn't even I mean there Sudson up and Jane

707
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:43,799
Speaker 1: got pissed. It was pissed about something and triggered and

708
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:45,719
Speaker 1: threw my phone in the shower floor. And I'm just like, so,

709
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:49,319
Speaker 1: how do you react in that situation? That that one

710
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:53,239
Speaker 1: I just kind of I wasn't in the wrong. Yeah,

711
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:56,799
Speaker 1: it wasn't. It wasn't about wrong. It was about I

712
00:34:56,840 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 1: wasn't escalating the situation. I wasn't escalating in it. She

713
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:04,480
Speaker 1: was spinning herself out of control, which I've been guilty

714
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:07,719
Speaker 1: of numerous times. Um, and she did that and I

715
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,759
Speaker 1: was just like, okay, well I can't do it, you know,

716
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 1: but that's been a long time since I've thrown something. Yeah,

717
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 1: that was a spiraler. Spiraling is hard to be hard,

718
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:23,040
Speaker 1: Like all the therapy sessions I've been to, it's like

719
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:25,960
Speaker 1: walk away in that time, I'm like, oh, sure, okay,

720
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,400
Speaker 1: I'll just walk away while I'm in mid spiral. Like

721
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:34,120
Speaker 1: that's not easy to do. It's ten seconds is all

722
00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:37,319
Speaker 1: you need? No, that's bs because yeah, I need like

723
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:41,719
Speaker 1: and honestly, like the second I did it, I was like,

724
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:44,759
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like why did I like,

725
00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:47,120
Speaker 1: like I know, And then you come down from the

726
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:49,520
Speaker 1: it's like you're still validated, but you didn't need to

727
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:53,279
Speaker 1: smash a phone. Yeah, you know, that's that's the and

728
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:55,120
Speaker 1: then you feel like a crazy person and then you

729
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:57,440
Speaker 1: have to go through that and like, but I'm validated

730
00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:00,600
Speaker 1: in like thinking this and like feeling this. It's just

731
00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:03,919
Speaker 1: like that was really rare for you though, what just

732
00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:09,759
Speaker 1: you spiraling like that? Oh that's been years. Like once

733
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:11,960
Speaker 1: it happens, though, do you guys have like a grudge

734
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:14,160
Speaker 1: phase or not? Like are you holding a grudge? How

735
00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:16,439
Speaker 1: is like the recovery work from that? I will say,

736
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:20,319
Speaker 1: good question. It was a good one. Um. We had

737
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:26,359
Speaker 1: an amazing spiral session the Leather Night where we came

738
00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:29,239
Speaker 1: when I faked out about having another kid, where we

739
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:32,960
Speaker 1: came out of it. Yeah. Um, oh is that when

740
00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:34,600
Speaker 1: you were crying because Jason wasn't a baby and he

741
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:36,439
Speaker 1: had that was kind of a lie, not a lie.

742
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:38,479
Speaker 1: I mean I was crying because he wasn't a baby,

743
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:40,600
Speaker 1: but I was also crying because like Mikel was like,

744
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:44,520
Speaker 1: I don't want another kid. That's a tough conversation. Yeah,

745
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:50,000
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, that's a hard conversation. It

746
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:58,239
Speaker 1: was hard, and it was that I honest see where

747
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:00,960
Speaker 1: you're going with this. Yeah, no, but I went crazy,

748
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:03,440
Speaker 1: like I was just like, well, I don't know if

749
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:05,359
Speaker 1: I can live, Like I'm like, I don't. I don't

750
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:07,279
Speaker 1: want to resent you if we don't have another one.

751
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:10,960
Speaker 1: And then I just I went I felt myself going crazy.

752
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:13,719
Speaker 1: I felt myself going so high, out of body, out

753
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:16,520
Speaker 1: of body, like just she was saying things that she

754
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:19,480
Speaker 1: hasn't said for years, like to try to hurt me,

755
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:22,240
Speaker 1: Like literally, it's been years since she said these certain

756
00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:24,440
Speaker 1: certain things because they know she knows they're hot buttons,

757
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:26,919
Speaker 1: and you know, to your point, like pride and ego

758
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:30,040
Speaker 1: is this is because of the last couple of months,

759
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:31,399
Speaker 1: we've been better at this. I just kind of laid

760
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,600
Speaker 1: on the couch and it's just like which almost annoyed

761
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:38,040
Speaker 1: me more that he was trying, like real hard to

762
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:40,400
Speaker 1: get him a reaction, because usually he meets meet my

763
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:44,959
Speaker 1: reaction and we are explosive yes, and I'm like, meet

764
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,640
Speaker 1: me their mother effort because I'm ready to get the

765
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:54,319
Speaker 1: watching sports. But as as he continued to do that,

766
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:57,240
Speaker 1: I just felt myself get crazier and crazier and crazier

767
00:37:57,239 --> 00:37:59,400
Speaker 1: and say things and then like I go into the

768
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:03,200
Speaker 1: room and I just hysterically start bawling, and then I'm like,

769
00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:05,600
Speaker 1: mother effret, I have to go out there and apologize,

770
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:06,920
Speaker 1: Like I have to go out and then be like

771
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:09,440
Speaker 1: I felt. I was like and I went out there

772
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:11,920
Speaker 1: and I was like, I feel crazy. Those it was

773
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 1: that was like my Zach Wartz, I feel crazy and

774
00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:17,760
Speaker 1: because it just it would become so out of body

775
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 1: that I just and it was it was wrong, and

776
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:21,719
Speaker 1: I you know, we that was the first time that

777
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:26,759
Speaker 1: we did it. We recovered good. The smash phone thing,

778
00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:30,200
Speaker 1: I think we recovered pretty well too, because again, I

779
00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:33,879
Speaker 1: just I think I'm so scared of this relationship too.

780
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 1: I'm scared of the bombs. Like we've we've had a

781
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 1: lot of bombs, and I'm so when I saw something

782
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:42,520
Speaker 1: on the phone, I was like, oh my god, it's dear.

783
00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:45,239
Speaker 1: I'm such an idiot, like and I just was like,

784
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:48,600
Speaker 1: I just went I didn't go to him first to

785
00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:51,120
Speaker 1: be like you we talked about this. I built a

786
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:54,160
Speaker 1: story in my head. And when he was like, what,

787
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:57,359
Speaker 1: it's nothing, and I'm like I've heard that before. I

788
00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:03,480
Speaker 1: was I came like and I don't believe you. And

789
00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:05,480
Speaker 1: then it was just like smashed. And then I was like,

790
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:07,640
Speaker 1: oh god, I'm crazy, like, and then I was like,

791
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:09,239
Speaker 1: and then I was like, I had to leave the house.

792
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:11,839
Speaker 1: But but how incredible that you guys can like say

793
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:14,840
Speaker 1: that you've come so far and that like bombs have happened,

794
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:17,080
Speaker 1: but now you can like that takes a lot of

795
00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:19,680
Speaker 1: hard work and commitment to each other to get to

796
00:39:19,719 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 1: a place where you can say, like, bombs have happened,

797
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:25,560
Speaker 1: and now like you can resolve them quicker. You can

798
00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:30,640
Speaker 1: like have more of like appreciation for each other's feelings

799
00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:32,800
Speaker 1: and all those things. Like that's huge in a marriage

800
00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 1: and with kids, to be able to not just call

801
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:38,520
Speaker 1: it quits or throw things away and to like work

802
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 1: your ass off to get to the place that you

803
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 1: are now to see the progress and think, Okay, if

804
00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:45,520
Speaker 1: we can like get this far, imagine how far we

805
00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:49,120
Speaker 1: can get in five years. And that's really important because

806
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:51,640
Speaker 1: I mean, Jason has always been like I don't I

807
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:53,360
Speaker 1: don't know if you've ever had like these kinds of

808
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:56,600
Speaker 1: explosive fights and relationships, but I seem to be very like, oh,

809
00:39:56,640 --> 00:40:01,520
Speaker 1: it's annoying I have, but it's amazing, like you, and

810
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:03,160
Speaker 1: that's what you need. You don't want someone else that's

811
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:05,680
Speaker 1: the same reaction with you, And that's what didn't I

812
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:08,240
Speaker 1: say that to you yesterday? I said, it's so wild

813
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:10,919
Speaker 1: for me because it would be like a four day

814
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,480
Speaker 1: run of happy times was like a good week for

815
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:17,080
Speaker 1: me and other relationships, where with Jason, I'm like, I

816
00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:19,839
Speaker 1: don't think we've ever had a blowout. And again we're

817
00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:22,760
Speaker 1: only a year and a half in and like it's Jason,

818
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:24,759
Speaker 1: but like we have never had a blow out. And

819
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:27,640
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that will never happen, but like you've

820
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:31,080
Speaker 1: taught me to to deal with conflict and to cope better,

821
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:34,360
Speaker 1: and you're you are very logical and I'm very emotional,

822
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 1: but you've helped me back. But he's helping like he's

823
00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:39,839
Speaker 1: he's and you know, just like vice versa for you know,

824
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:42,479
Speaker 1: Mike and I, it's like we're learning and we're getting

825
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:45,000
Speaker 1: better and we're leaning into each other. And I think

826
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:47,160
Speaker 1: to answer like full circle your question is like we're

827
00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:50,920
Speaker 1: just every time we're doing better and we're learning from

828
00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:53,480
Speaker 1: it and we're coming around and saying and it's I

829
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:56,840
Speaker 1: think it's working. Yeah it is. And to what Caitlin

830
00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:59,360
Speaker 1: just said that you're learning from Jason, I think ultimately

831
00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:01,799
Speaker 1: you have done a lot of work on myself, like

832
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:05,160
Speaker 1: with my therapist and everything like that. And but I've

833
00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:08,600
Speaker 1: learned more of that from Janna because even before the

834
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 1: last probably two months, I was spending more frequently than Joanna.

835
00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:18,960
Speaker 1: And when I spend, it's not necessarily throwing things or whatever,

836
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:22,360
Speaker 1: but I'm heightened, my voices is raised. And then I

837
00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:25,400
Speaker 1: just keep coming after her, like we'll stop talking and

838
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:27,200
Speaker 1: I'll just keep coming. She'll go to the closet, like

839
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:29,560
Speaker 1: close the door and like maybe crying or just like

840
00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:31,319
Speaker 1: leave me alone, Leave me alone, leave me alone. I'll

841
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:33,279
Speaker 1: just keep pepper in her, trying to do the same

842
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:34,719
Speaker 1: thing she was doing to me the other night, just

843
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:36,200
Speaker 1: trying to get her to meet her on my level,

844
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:40,359
Speaker 1: and she wouldn't, you know. So it's like there has

845
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:42,480
Speaker 1: to be given take because if it's the same person.

846
00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:44,600
Speaker 1: And for a while there she felt like the only

847
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:48,400
Speaker 1: person that was doing the work because I was the

848
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:51,799
Speaker 1: one that was spinning more often. So now it's it's

849
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:54,560
Speaker 1: so much better because we see that back and forth.

850
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,359
Speaker 1: It's like, Okay, I'm not alone in this. The other

851
00:41:57,400 --> 00:41:59,799
Speaker 1: person's meeting me there. Why do you think you did?

852
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:09,480
Speaker 1: And more so in my situation, it's there's so much

853
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:15,200
Speaker 1: shame involved with everything that I like, I want to like, uh,

854
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:21,520
Speaker 1: stand up for and defend everything I can when like,

855
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:23,719
Speaker 1: if I have an inch, I'll take a mile, Like

856
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:25,520
Speaker 1: an inch of good, I'm gonna take a mile because

857
00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:28,319
Speaker 1: I've been for so long and there's so much ammunition

858
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:32,279
Speaker 1: negative against me that when there's one thing positive or

859
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:35,120
Speaker 1: it's in my mind, I minimize it because it's not

860
00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:37,359
Speaker 1: as big as what I did in the past. I

861
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 1: want to be you know, I just want to take

862
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 1: take take of any kind of positive versus all of

863
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:44,239
Speaker 1: the negative that's stacked up against me. For you know,

864
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:48,000
Speaker 1: there's last five years or whatever, so I think that's

865
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 1: that that's the biggest thing. It's just like I'm just

866
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:51,799
Speaker 1: trying to take it so you get it and like

867
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:55,040
Speaker 1: trying to make you understand that that's not me anymore.

868
00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:56,920
Speaker 1: But I can't make you understand. The only way I

869
00:42:56,960 --> 00:42:59,120
Speaker 1: can do it is by not reacting, by doing what

870
00:42:59,239 --> 00:43:00,880
Speaker 1: I did the other night, by allowing you to have

871
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:18,120
Speaker 1: these feelings, by being empathetic. So we're starting to get there. Guys,

872
00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:21,239
Speaker 1: aren't relationships just something there. There are a lot of

873
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:24,480
Speaker 1: work they really are. There's like and and I love

874
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:26,800
Speaker 1: that you guys podcasts and you're open about it because

875
00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:30,200
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people feel shame around how

876
00:43:30,239 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 1: they react in relationships because we've all been like conditioned

877
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,719
Speaker 1: a certain way growing up and how we see relationships

878
00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:40,560
Speaker 1: and how we react to our partners and certain things.

879
00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:44,000
Speaker 1: And I know for myself, just hearing other people talk

880
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:46,440
Speaker 1: about their relationships and being open about their hard times

881
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:48,440
Speaker 1: has helped me so much. So I love that you

882
00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:50,680
Speaker 1: guys do podcasts about being so open about it because

883
00:43:50,719 --> 00:43:54,759
Speaker 1: it probably helps so many people. And I just like

884
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:57,560
Speaker 1: you've been so fortunate, Jason, with your family and like

885
00:43:57,680 --> 00:44:00,200
Speaker 1: certain things like he just grew up. I watch his

886
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:03,200
Speaker 1: dad the way his dad is to his mom, and

887
00:44:03,239 --> 00:44:06,080
Speaker 1: I'll like start crying and like it's it's insane. I've

888
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:08,799
Speaker 1: never seen anything like it. Like behind closed doors, he

889
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:10,520
Speaker 1: won't even know him watching, and his dad will look

890
00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:11,759
Speaker 1: at his mom and just be like you are the

891
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:13,719
Speaker 1: glue to this family, Like I love you so much,

892
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:16,320
Speaker 1: and like like that's just and that's what Jason's witten is,

893
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:18,319
Speaker 1: not that you've never gone through anything hard, but like

894
00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:21,400
Speaker 1: you know, coming from a divorce family, which I actually

895
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:24,799
Speaker 1: think I had a healthy divorce with my parents, Like

896
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:28,080
Speaker 1: it's still like weighs on people, and it's crazy how

897
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:30,640
Speaker 1: much your conditioned as a child to how you behave

898
00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:33,200
Speaker 1: as an adult. And even if you know better, like

899
00:44:33,239 --> 00:44:35,440
Speaker 1: you said the out of body experiences, Like even when

900
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:38,479
Speaker 1: you know better, it's like you've been conditioned your whole

901
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:41,600
Speaker 1: life too to think and act a certain way. And

902
00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:44,799
Speaker 1: so it takes a lot of therapy and talking out

903
00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:47,279
Speaker 1: loud and connecting with other people who go through the

904
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:50,120
Speaker 1: same thing to grow. So that's cool that you guys

905
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:53,880
Speaker 1: do that. Thank you. Yeah, I think also, Okay, so

906
00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:55,440
Speaker 1: there's a lot of things there. One I think when

907
00:44:55,440 --> 00:44:58,800
Speaker 1: you have these discussions. Everyone comes from different backgrounds, different parenting,

908
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:01,839
Speaker 1: Everyone has differ and triggers. So I think with first

909
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:05,240
Speaker 1: of all, relationships are extremely, extremely difficult, but you really

910
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:09,040
Speaker 1: have to understand the core of why someone is showing

911
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:11,759
Speaker 1: the emotion they're showing. So many times in our relationship

912
00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:14,200
Speaker 1: I would say something to Kalin, she would break down crying,

913
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:16,719
Speaker 1: and I'm I'm literally standing there like a ghost, like

914
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:20,719
Speaker 1: what just happened? So instead of like yelling or getting frustrated,

915
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:23,560
Speaker 1: I want to know, like what exactly was it that

916
00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:26,120
Speaker 1: I did? That just sparks something on your history that

917
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:29,319
Speaker 1: created such pain that you're crying right now because this

918
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:33,000
Speaker 1: reaction is not normal, right, this isn't common practice reacting

919
00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:36,120
Speaker 1: this way. Clearly there's something that happened. So something that

920
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:39,240
Speaker 1: I always do is really trying, like when someone is triggered,

921
00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:43,000
Speaker 1: let's not let's stop right now, and like what is

922
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:45,120
Speaker 1: the core of this, Like, let's break it down, peel

923
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:47,960
Speaker 1: thee onion? What is it? No, I know it's easier,

924
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:50,920
Speaker 1: it's easier said than done. But then also when you

925
00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:53,680
Speaker 1: talk about I think when you talk about like me

926
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:56,879
Speaker 1: having great like parents and and and holding onto things

927
00:45:56,920 --> 00:46:00,200
Speaker 1: like I also don't think you have to know where

928
00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:01,920
Speaker 1: you came from and you have issues with your parents

929
00:46:02,080 --> 00:46:04,719
Speaker 1: and your maybe parenting was the best, which is then

930
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:07,000
Speaker 1: as a derivative of where you stand, that's who you are.

931
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:10,919
Speaker 1: But at some point everyone has to grow up and

932
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:14,600
Speaker 1: take responsibility and take ownership and stop passing the blame

933
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 1: on mom or dad or grandpa and say this is

934
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:18,879
Speaker 1: what I need to work on, and I'm gonna work

935
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:21,200
Speaker 1: on it, and I'm holding myself accountable to it. I

936
00:46:21,239 --> 00:46:23,520
Speaker 1: think it's you can say that, but you also have

937
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 1: to understand and forgive yourself of where you came from. Absolutely,

938
00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:28,959
Speaker 1: And I don't think you can work on yourself until

939
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:30,760
Speaker 1: you know yourself. And I think that's part of knowing yourself.

940
00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:33,839
Speaker 1: I think that's step one. But then it's like you've

941
00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:36,200
Speaker 1: really got to put in the work done to cure

942
00:46:36,239 --> 00:46:38,240
Speaker 1: that stuff. What do you want to work on, Jason?

943
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:41,800
Speaker 1: That's a really good question. Jason's just taking us to

944
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:44,000
Speaker 1: church right now. I'm like I'm doing I'm doing heart

945
00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:49,719
Speaker 1: hands over. His emotional intelligence and maturity is like out

946
00:46:49,719 --> 00:46:52,200
Speaker 1: of this world. It's insane, which has really helped me

947
00:46:52,239 --> 00:46:55,319
Speaker 1: but also made me feel very stupid. You know what, Yeah,

948
00:46:57,960 --> 00:46:59,640
Speaker 1: you know what I think I do is I think

949
00:46:59,719 --> 00:47:02,360
Speaker 1: I try. I try to be so level head and

950
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:06,600
Speaker 1: logical that sometimes I don't explain myself because I'll constrain

951
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:09,799
Speaker 1: my emotion because I just like I would I would

952
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:12,839
Speaker 1: rather like deal with the solution and then then put

953
00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:15,239
Speaker 1: my emotion out there, so I kind of take the

954
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:17,560
Speaker 1: emotion out of it. So something that I need to

955
00:47:17,600 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 1: do is like there are times that like I'm really

956
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:23,280
Speaker 1: piste off at something Caitlyn just did. She has no idea,

957
00:47:23,719 --> 00:47:25,600
Speaker 1: and I bring her side and like like, why do

958
00:47:25,680 --> 00:47:27,680
Speaker 1: would you ever do that? Why would you ever think

959
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:31,279
Speaker 1: that that's respectful or acceptable? And Caitlyn will be like,

960
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:33,640
Speaker 1: what where is this coming from? Like what are you

961
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:36,680
Speaker 1: talking about? I stop, you know, hit pause, think about it,

962
00:47:36,680 --> 00:47:39,319
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I guess I haven't really like expressed

963
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:41,759
Speaker 1: myself at all that the X, Y, and Z really

964
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:43,919
Speaker 1: does bother me. So that's something I got to work as,

965
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:47,880
Speaker 1: like expressing myself. Yeah, Like I always try and internalize

966
00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:51,279
Speaker 1: and then react instead of just initially reacting. And I

967
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:54,160
Speaker 1: think a hybrid of that both can help, like, you know,

968
00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:56,600
Speaker 1: for the benefit of us. You know, it's interesting you

969
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:58,319
Speaker 1: said that way, and I wonder if it's just a

970
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:02,160
Speaker 1: male thing or if it's certain people in general. But

971
00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:04,920
Speaker 1: I'm similar where some of the things that Jane might

972
00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:07,879
Speaker 1: do that frustrates me the most is because it goes

973
00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:11,640
Speaker 1: against my logic. Where literally, in my my old therapist

974
00:48:11,719 --> 00:48:14,920
Speaker 1: in l A that really was like the nucleus of

975
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:18,080
Speaker 1: my recovery and everything. He would always call it Mike's world,

976
00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:20,040
Speaker 1: like in Mike's world, Like why are you talking about

977
00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:22,600
Speaker 1: Mike's world so much? Like it's because if it doesn't

978
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:25,640
Speaker 1: make sense in Mike's world, it's basically wrong, you know.

979
00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:27,640
Speaker 1: I mean like that's how that's how my logic was,

980
00:48:27,719 --> 00:48:29,799
Speaker 1: and so I'll get so frustrated because I'd be like,

981
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:32,640
Speaker 1: why would you do that? Like it's like I'm asking

982
00:48:32,719 --> 00:48:34,320
Speaker 1: him a question while he's making a peanut butter and

983
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:36,000
Speaker 1: July sand much He's like, why would you ask me

984
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:38,080
Speaker 1: this question? Can't you see him doing something right now?

985
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:42,240
Speaker 1: I'm like, why are you geting so frustrated just asking

986
00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:46,520
Speaker 1: a question? Like but but but now it's to that example,

987
00:48:46,680 --> 00:48:48,440
Speaker 1: that was a fight we had in Los Angeles. Yeah,

988
00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:50,360
Speaker 1: we had an actual fight, but he got I was

989
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:53,719
Speaker 1: literally making a sand rational awareness and I'm like, as

990
00:48:53,719 --> 00:48:55,759
Speaker 1: I'm holding laundry and a kid in this, and I'm like,

991
00:48:55,800 --> 00:48:59,359
Speaker 1: I just want to know what time we're leaving. So

992
00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:02,880
Speaker 1: this to that point this morning, right I haven't even

993
00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:06,040
Speaker 1: eaten my breakfast yet, and we're you know, you're you

994
00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:07,320
Speaker 1: guys are in a house right now. See all the

995
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:09,839
Speaker 1: blue tape everywhere and like basically construction zone because we're

996
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:12,439
Speaker 1: doing our like one year warranty thing, which side note

997
00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:15,560
Speaker 1: we preface. Before they came in, were like, I don't

998
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:18,000
Speaker 1: mind the house. It's a mess. I feel like anytime

999
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:21,080
Speaker 1: anyone has company over, everyone says that it's like if

1000
00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:24,440
Speaker 1: anyone's house ever cleaned, because everyone always says, come on in,

1001
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:30,680
Speaker 1: but our house is a mess. Forgive us Like what right? Right? Right?

1002
00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:35,120
Speaker 1: So uh so this morning, like, no, you didn't do

1003
00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:39,839
Speaker 1: anything wrong, but it's just uh an observation of how

1004
00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:42,680
Speaker 1: we were and how we are now because you asked

1005
00:49:42,680 --> 00:49:44,960
Speaker 1: me questions. You're like, hey, we need I haven't even

1006
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:48,520
Speaker 1: eatn yet. Got the kids. She's seeing Jay's hey, can

1007
00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:50,319
Speaker 1: you take this and eat the ladder so we can

1008
00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:52,480
Speaker 1: put the tape up in the room. And I'm like,

1009
00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:56,200
Speaker 1: I haven't eaten breakfast, and that part that now it's

1010
00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:58,880
Speaker 1: a fraction of me. Back then in l A, it

1011
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:01,480
Speaker 1: was majority of me. Now it's a fraction of me.

1012
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:04,759
Speaker 1: I wanted to be like, can I freaking eat breakfast

1013
00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:07,880
Speaker 1: before you start bombarding me with things to do? But

1014
00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:09,839
Speaker 1: that's how Janna wakes up. She wakes up like, let's

1015
00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:13,160
Speaker 1: go like how can we be productive right now? And

1016
00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:15,080
Speaker 1: I'd like to sit down with you. My breakfast, had

1017
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:18,520
Speaker 1: my coffee, that's my thing. And but instead of like

1018
00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:21,040
Speaker 1: reacting that way, I was just like okay and helped

1019
00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:22,520
Speaker 1: her out and did it and then went and sat

1020
00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:25,799
Speaker 1: down and ate my breakfast, and you probably avoided an argument. Yeah,

1021
00:50:25,840 --> 00:50:29,120
Speaker 1: and I don't have any. The difference is letting the

1022
00:50:29,120 --> 00:50:31,080
Speaker 1: feelings go or pushing them aside. Its supposed to pushing

1023
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:33,360
Speaker 1: them down, Like I'm not pushing them down where it

1024
00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:36,879
Speaker 1: comes up sideways later or as resentment or whatever. It's

1025
00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:41,239
Speaker 1: just swallow, it dissipates. I'm good. Yeah, I like the aside,

1026
00:50:41,280 --> 00:50:43,680
Speaker 1: not down. Yeah. I like that. I've never heard you

1027
00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:46,239
Speaker 1: say that before. I really yeah, because it's like when

1028
00:50:46,239 --> 00:50:48,520
Speaker 1: you push it down, you're gonna then it's coming back up,

1029
00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:50,719
Speaker 1: it's coming back out because you're gonna be like still

1030
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:52,840
Speaker 1: angry about it. But pushing aside, it's like, okay, she

1031
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:55,439
Speaker 1: just wanted to get like you know, it's like it's fine.

1032
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:57,080
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll bring it up to her later during our

1033
00:50:57,160 --> 00:50:59,120
Speaker 1: check in if it's still with me. Do you guys

1034
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:02,600
Speaker 1: start checking every day at night? Yeah? Oh I love that.

1035
00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:04,880
Speaker 1: So you just like talk about your day and you know,

1036
00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:07,759
Speaker 1: so it's it's called fanos. So it's called so the

1037
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:10,760
Speaker 1: first one is feeling, So you would say like I'm feeling,

1038
00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:16,360
Speaker 1: so tonight we'll be like I'm feeling tired, um excited

1039
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:20,960
Speaker 1: to go to Michigan. Um, I'm feeling a little triggered

1040
00:51:21,040 --> 00:51:24,320
Speaker 1: because something came up earlier today. I'm feeling like whatever,

1041
00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:27,160
Speaker 1: you're whatever you're feeling. And then it's affirmation. So you

1042
00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:30,920
Speaker 1: would say, hey, thank you for getting that ladder for

1043
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:32,880
Speaker 1: me this morning. I know you want to eat your breakfast,

1044
00:51:33,239 --> 00:51:35,080
Speaker 1: but thank you for getting that for me. Thank you,

1045
00:51:35,280 --> 00:51:36,680
Speaker 1: just like thank you, thank you, thank you for what

1046
00:51:36,719 --> 00:51:38,359
Speaker 1: you did today, thank you for helping with the kids,

1047
00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:39,880
Speaker 1: thank you for letting me go for a walk, like

1048
00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:42,759
Speaker 1: I really needed that, like whatever, and then needs like

1049
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:46,240
Speaker 1: I really need you. So we're coming up on an

1050
00:51:46,239 --> 00:51:49,040
Speaker 1: anniversary that's kind of triggering, and it's like, hey, I

1051
00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:50,919
Speaker 1: really need you to know that, like this date coming

1052
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:54,400
Speaker 1: up is hurting me, and just like love me a

1053
00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:58,120
Speaker 1: little better or like hold me, acknowledge it, like whatever

1054
00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:01,000
Speaker 1: you need. And then own is our part, Caitlin, where

1055
00:52:01,040 --> 00:52:03,920
Speaker 1: we say I was a crazy person last night and

1056
00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:06,920
Speaker 1: I am really sorry, So own whatever you did wrong.

1057
00:52:07,360 --> 00:52:10,879
Speaker 1: And then the last part is Mike's recovery stuff. Yes,

1058
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:13,239
Speaker 1: as for sobriety, So I talked about like meetings or

1059
00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:15,800
Speaker 1: sponsor stuff or anything like that. So but or you

1060
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:18,560
Speaker 1: can say, they say therapy, so like I have therapy

1061
00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:21,160
Speaker 1: session with therapists after fourth of July. I was going

1062
00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:22,799
Speaker 1: to ask you, so, oh, so what is that called again?

1063
00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:26,960
Speaker 1: To spell it out for me. One more feelings, affirmations, needs,

1064
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:29,759
Speaker 1: own and then whatever you're doing to better yourself. We

1065
00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:31,920
Speaker 1: just do power hours in the morning when we're like,

1066
00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:34,240
Speaker 1: what do we need to do to get done today?

1067
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:36,520
Speaker 1: And then we like talk about like our schedules, but

1068
00:52:36,600 --> 00:52:38,160
Speaker 1: we don't do it. We don't do chickens at the

1069
00:52:38,239 --> 00:52:40,000
Speaker 1: end of the night, which I actually think would be

1070
00:52:40,040 --> 00:52:42,000
Speaker 1: super important for us because at night we're both so

1071
00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:45,840
Speaker 1: tired and we're like we put on like a Netflix

1072
00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:47,960
Speaker 1: show and are on our phones, and I feel like

1073
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:49,560
Speaker 1: we don't connect enough at night at the end of

1074
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:51,799
Speaker 1: the day, which we should totally do that well. And

1075
00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:53,799
Speaker 1: you know, it's something like even if you don't want

1076
00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:54,799
Speaker 1: to do it every night, you can be like, hey,

1077
00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:58,560
Speaker 1: do you want to check in and it's like yeah, whatever,

1078
00:52:58,640 --> 00:53:00,399
Speaker 1: but then like at least it once a week. Yeah.

1079
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:03,200
Speaker 1: I like that because you're not holding onto any because

1080
00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:06,239
Speaker 1: in our relationship we would hold onto things and then

1081
00:53:06,239 --> 00:53:09,359
Speaker 1: it would come out real sideways. Do you guys work

1082
00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:12,160
Speaker 1: it all together. Do you do anything kind of So

1083
00:53:12,200 --> 00:53:13,880
Speaker 1: how is that? Do you guys work in the same

1084
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:16,640
Speaker 1: style or That's funny because when you were saying that,

1085
00:53:16,719 --> 00:53:18,920
Speaker 1: Janet gets up and she's like ready to go and

1086
00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:20,879
Speaker 1: be productive. I'm like, that's where we are not cut

1087
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:23,759
Speaker 1: from the same cloth. Really, You're like you have Okay,

1088
00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:26,759
Speaker 1: let's just promote it first. So obviously off the vine podcast,

1089
00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:30,520
Speaker 1: you've got to do um do. Yeah, the scruncheese, You've

1090
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:34,719
Speaker 1: got the spade and sparrows, wine nine to wine, nine

1091
00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:38,320
Speaker 1: to wine. I mean, you have your if I'm being honest,

1092
00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:41,160
Speaker 1: like I'm being honest. If I'm being honest, like you're

1093
00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:43,560
Speaker 1: like you're killing it. So like you have your music,

1094
00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:46,440
Speaker 1: you have all the stuff going on, So like, how

1095
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:50,200
Speaker 1: are you not? I'm productive? I just my mornings are

1096
00:53:50,280 --> 00:53:52,440
Speaker 1: more like Mike, where I need to wake up. I

1097
00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:55,080
Speaker 1: need to like have my time to wake up, and

1098
00:53:55,120 --> 00:53:57,000
Speaker 1: then I need to have a coffee And Jason is

1099
00:53:57,320 --> 00:53:59,480
Speaker 1: the sweetest and brings me coffee in bed all the time,

1100
00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:04,200
Speaker 1: and I need to like have an hour to actually

1101
00:54:04,280 --> 00:54:07,280
Speaker 1: just start moving in my day and then I'll be productive.

1102
00:54:07,280 --> 00:54:09,719
Speaker 1: But I don't wake up like it's a struggle for

1103
00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:12,160
Speaker 1: me to get out of bed. I am very lazy

1104
00:54:12,160 --> 00:54:14,040
Speaker 1: in the mornings. What time do you roll out about it?

1105
00:54:14,280 --> 00:54:17,480
Speaker 1: Like ten? Damn, I can't wait till you're a mom. Oh,

1106
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:27,000
Speaker 1: I'm like if I sar for nine am, I'm like, Oh,

1107
00:54:27,239 --> 00:54:31,719
Speaker 1: Julie watked in this morning at and I wake up

1108
00:54:31,719 --> 00:54:33,759
Speaker 1: at six. I wake up at six every morning kind

1109
00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:36,160
Speaker 1: of for that reason. I have some things that do

1110
00:54:36,239 --> 00:54:38,160
Speaker 1: but also I like that hour to kind of wake

1111
00:54:38,239 --> 00:54:40,040
Speaker 1: up because I also know how Jenny is when she

1112
00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:42,359
Speaker 1: first wakes up. But if I haven't eaten her had

1113
00:54:42,400 --> 00:54:44,120
Speaker 1: my coffee yet, I'm still just like, hey, hold on,

1114
00:54:44,719 --> 00:54:46,759
Speaker 1: but you know, yeah, Julie came in at five forty

1115
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:54,400
Speaker 1: this morning, like, hey, it's morning time. I'm up schedules working,

1116
00:54:54,680 --> 00:54:56,800
Speaker 1: I'll put it, I get it right in the office, coffee,

1117
00:54:56,800 --> 00:55:00,160
Speaker 1: Wall Street Journal, NonStop. I could I could literally I

1118
00:55:00,239 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 1: was single, I could work twenty hours a day. Yeah.

1119
00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:05,920
Speaker 1: I think that's what we've actually gotten closer during quarantine

1120
00:55:06,200 --> 00:55:10,839
Speaker 1: because he has such a discipline schedule where he wakes up,

1121
00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:13,279
Speaker 1: he'll go for a run or do a workout, have

1122
00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:17,120
Speaker 1: his coffee, read the paper, be upstairs, and he just works, works, works,

1123
00:55:17,120 --> 00:55:18,960
Speaker 1: and he stays up in his office that sometimes I'm like,

1124
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:20,759
Speaker 1: is he even home? I don't know, So that at

1125
00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:22,120
Speaker 1: the end of the night, I'm like, it's almost like

1126
00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:24,200
Speaker 1: he was gone for the whole day, and I kind

1127
00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:25,560
Speaker 1: of like miss him by the end of the day,

1128
00:55:25,560 --> 00:55:30,400
Speaker 1: even though you're just upstairs. Yeah, operate differently, though differently.

1129
00:55:30,760 --> 00:55:32,520
Speaker 1: What are you doing right now, Jason? So, I got

1130
00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:34,320
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff going. So I was a corporate

1131
00:55:34,360 --> 00:55:36,840
Speaker 1: banker before, and so I started. I do investing, So

1132
00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:40,120
Speaker 1: I do angel investing, investing companies. I do consulting, so

1133
00:55:40,239 --> 00:55:43,439
Speaker 1: financial and career consulting. I just signed up two book

1134
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:50,520
Speaker 1: deal with HarperCollins. So yeah, thank you. Yeah. Does your

1135
00:55:50,760 --> 00:55:52,720
Speaker 1: book come out or is it out September twenty see,

1136
00:55:53,560 --> 00:55:55,160
Speaker 1: you guys can pre order right now at Jana and

1137
00:55:55,200 --> 00:56:00,120
Speaker 1: Mike dot com. Yeah, getting your copy will take I

1138
00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:05,879
Speaker 1: guess sometimes. Okay, okay, awesome, And like the newest most

1139
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:09,120
Speaker 1: exciting project going to be about SO one is going

1140
00:56:09,160 --> 00:56:13,360
Speaker 1: to be all about career navigation, professional development, accelerating your career,

1141
00:56:13,760 --> 00:56:17,640
Speaker 1: everything from negotiating your salary to moving up the ladder

1142
00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:22,520
Speaker 1: to detouring your entire career. Entrepreneurship list goes on um yeah.

1143
00:56:22,560 --> 00:56:25,240
Speaker 1: So the new like my new passion thing I started

1144
00:56:25,239 --> 00:56:27,919
Speaker 1: is called Restart. And so the idea is that, like,

1145
00:56:28,160 --> 00:56:31,360
Speaker 1: there's so many lessons that aren't taught in a classroom,

1146
00:56:31,520 --> 00:56:33,919
Speaker 1: that you can't find in a textbook, that are imperative

1147
00:56:34,160 --> 00:56:36,440
Speaker 1: to everything we do on a daily basis, and so

1148
00:56:36,480 --> 00:56:40,359
Speaker 1: it's breaking those things down. Give me an example. He's

1149
00:56:40,400 --> 00:56:43,080
Speaker 1: so good at breaking down things that in my mind,

1150
00:56:43,080 --> 00:56:45,640
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is the most overwhelming complicated thing in

1151
00:56:45,680 --> 00:56:48,359
Speaker 1: the world, and Jason can break things down where like

1152
00:56:48,440 --> 00:56:50,920
Speaker 1: he makes he just simplifies everything. So you're like, oh,

1153
00:56:50,920 --> 00:56:55,160
Speaker 1: like even something like student debt or like I don't

1154
00:56:55,160 --> 00:56:57,960
Speaker 1: know what was the DOW. I was like, what like

1155
00:56:58,000 --> 00:56:59,680
Speaker 1: stocks and stuff is I have no idea like what

1156
00:56:59,760 --> 00:57:02,239
Speaker 1: to invest in or like. So I mean there's just

1157
00:57:02,239 --> 00:57:05,480
Speaker 1: like I'm like thinking, how many topics. So some of

1158
00:57:05,480 --> 00:57:07,120
Speaker 1: the things we do our real talk. So we talked

1159
00:57:07,120 --> 00:57:10,319
Speaker 1: to prominent individuals who achieved like immaculate success and we're

1160
00:57:10,320 --> 00:57:12,239
Speaker 1: not worried about like where are they, how they like

1161
00:57:12,320 --> 00:57:14,040
Speaker 1: where they are, but how they got there. So like

1162
00:57:14,120 --> 00:57:17,160
Speaker 1: we have Damon John from Shark Tanky came on, Barbara

1163
00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:20,720
Speaker 1: Corker and the Bella twins Um Ryan sir hen for

1164
00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:23,720
Speaker 1: a million dollar listings. So it's it's always have the

1165
00:57:23,720 --> 00:57:27,320
Speaker 1: most fascinating stories, like of how they got there. But

1166
00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:28,960
Speaker 1: but even on your restart page, I feel like you

1167
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:31,040
Speaker 1: break down things you do like fun quiz and like

1168
00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:35,200
Speaker 1: certain things where like mortgage, read finances, student debt, breakdown

1169
00:57:35,280 --> 00:57:41,440
Speaker 1: stuff like that. I love that. Um okay, So to

1170
00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:44,120
Speaker 1: end it, I really want to know why you don't

1171
00:57:44,200 --> 00:57:48,440
Speaker 1: drink water, because when we started this interview, Caitlin's like,

1172
00:57:48,440 --> 00:57:51,400
Speaker 1: I don't drink water. How are you like what? It's

1173
00:57:51,440 --> 00:57:54,920
Speaker 1: the weirdest thing I hate. I hated about myself that

1174
00:57:54,960 --> 00:57:59,960
Speaker 1: I don't like water. I've never what do you drink coffee?

1175
00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:03,560
Speaker 1: I'll like, I'll like drink. I'll force myself to drink

1176
00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:06,160
Speaker 1: a bottle of water a day, but like that's probably

1177
00:58:06,160 --> 00:58:08,040
Speaker 1: as much water as I take in as like one

1178
00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:11,760
Speaker 1: bottle of water, and I course myself. I don't know

1179
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:13,520
Speaker 1: why I don't like it. I don't know like makes

1180
00:58:13,720 --> 00:58:16,080
Speaker 1: you try putting lemon in it and hucumber. I've tried everything,

1181
00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:19,840
Speaker 1: little small water. Yeah, I've tried everything. It's I don't

1182
00:58:19,840 --> 00:58:21,800
Speaker 1: know why it's a it's a it's a flaw and

1183
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:25,000
Speaker 1: I'm not sure it's character defact. I'm working on it

1184
00:58:25,080 --> 00:58:30,080
Speaker 1: with Angela. I'm talking I've seen her tomorrow said Hi,

1185
00:58:33,200 --> 00:58:36,600
Speaker 1: no bad blood. Okay, everyone download if I'm being honest,

1186
00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:39,360
Speaker 1: and um follow Jason and Caitlin because they're awesome. Thank

1187
00:58:39,400 --> 00:58:43,640
Speaker 1: you guys so much for coming to another hour. I'll

1188
00:58:43,680 --> 00:58:48,080
Speaker 1: just have to do a part to on our my podcast,

1189
00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:50,800
Speaker 1: but you will be there and we can do another

1190
00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:53,200
Speaker 1: part too. I love it. I love you guys. Thank you,