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Speaker 1: All right, we're rolling into the fifteen minute morning show podcast.

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Speaker 1: You know, I love you and when I find something

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Speaker 1: r O O KA l I n e N dot

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Speaker 1: com promo code fifteen. What would you talk about on

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Speaker 1: your on your podcast? Firm Elvis presents fifteen minute bart

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Speaker 1: Show Bread thewa These things are seriously something that you

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Speaker 1: would find at a fair or like the boardwalk where

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Speaker 1: you would win a game like you know with you know,

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Speaker 1: throwing darts or you know, warbling squirting water in the

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Speaker 1: clown's mouth. That is, I'm so obsessed with these stupid

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Speaker 1: rubber chicken rubber pig that you partyity. Yeah, those are

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Speaker 1: the rubber chickens in my youth, rubber chickens when we

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Speaker 1: were younger. And these two rubber chickens sound different like this.

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Speaker 1: One sounds like this. This sounds like this, aren't you

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Speaker 1: really sounds like this, But they're not floppy rubber chicken.

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Speaker 1: These are. I just want to see the meeting that

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Speaker 1: when I at party City with all the guys sitting

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Speaker 1: around the table, go, how don't we reinvent the rubber chicken? Seriously? Well,

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Speaker 1: what I'm so amazed at is that there's toys that

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Speaker 1: seem to always come back after a couple of years,

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Speaker 1: but reinvented, you know, whether it's like the game Simon,

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Speaker 1: you know, where they now make it like a Super Simon,

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Speaker 1: you know, or like the Rubik's Cube now doesn't have

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Speaker 1: three it's got like four or five different attorneys. I mean,

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Speaker 1: there's all kinds of things, you know. I just I

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Speaker 1: can't figure out what the next toy where all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden come back at. I would love to have

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Speaker 1: a Furbie back different the Matchbox carpt car hasn't left, no,

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Speaker 1: but you can bring it back as like maybe it's bigger,

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Speaker 1: maybe it's a big or now doors open up on

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Speaker 1: the side. It's about hot wheels, by the way, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was always a hot wheels guy. Matchbox is really

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Speaker 1: only like construction trucks and police cars and fire engine

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Speaker 1: and the pink scrap scratched scratched off a much easier

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Speaker 1: the cool kids wheels always they had the glossy finish.

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Speaker 1: I still collect them, but which oneman out of business? First,

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Speaker 1: they're still in business. Really hot wheels and you can

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Speaker 1: get matchbox cars at the grocery store. What are you

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Speaker 1: living in a bubble and they have matchbox matchbox not

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Speaker 1: matchbox hot wheels. I've been talking about hot meal wheels.

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Speaker 1: Makes the really hot meals on wheels really cool. Like

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Speaker 1: the bridge and like you know, the garage crash, you

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Speaker 1: can bring oatmeal to old people. I say, speaking of

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Speaker 1: meals on wheels. You had a restaurant rate fffing idea

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Speaker 1: for a restaurant. Where are we going in two days? Daniel?

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Speaker 1: Iowa Fair? Okay, what do you love about the Iowa

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Speaker 1: State Fair? The food on a stick? The food on

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Speaker 1: a stick. I'm going to open a restaurant that is

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Speaker 1: just fair food. So you go there. There's a pork

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Speaker 1: chop on a stick, there's the huge turkey leg, there's

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Speaker 1: the whatever, the cheese curds, butter fried butter. Everything you

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Speaker 1: can imagine that you cant at the Fair. No calorie

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Speaker 1: counts on the many of the food. What do you

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Speaker 1: do for dessert? Oh, you can do the fried oreo.

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Speaker 1: You have to have a bark, stale, cookie, barksteal. You

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Speaker 1: can anything you get at the fair. Why wait once

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Speaker 1: a year? Are you catting candy peanuts? You're gonna have

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Speaker 1: paper plates I can just throw on the floor. You

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Speaker 1: can throw there won't be trapped. There will be buckets.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, have those thirty gallon drums. The oil over

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Speaker 1: the restaurant and you gotta throw the food in from there.

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Speaker 1: Gonna be straw on the floor. The pig with the

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Speaker 1: big balls, big with huge balls right next to the counter.

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Speaker 1: You can do the pig with your logo on it,

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Speaker 1: and it's the fair food. And then kids can squeeze

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Speaker 1: it and it's oh my god, what kid wouldn't want

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Speaker 1: to you can squeeze? Do you get in on this?

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Speaker 1: So I have a name for it, isn't it should?

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Speaker 1: It should be fair? Fair like f A I R

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Speaker 1: F A R good fair good Fair. I'm fair. Fair

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Speaker 1: sounds pretty. That's like one of those Williamsburg restaurants that

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Speaker 1: everybody's talking about. Fair little brushes, patties around the floor,

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Speaker 1: on the floor, on the floor, on the back. Can

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Speaker 1: you have animals like a petting zoo in the back?

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Speaker 1: That would be great. You gotta have that. I think

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Speaker 1: the smell of animals. I think has to come out

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Speaker 1: that you have a little shitty, dangerous roller coaster tony

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Speaker 1: rods that adults don't fit in, but they go on anyway.

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Speaker 1: But if you had a petting zoo at a place

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Speaker 1: where you were making food, I would question where the

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Speaker 1: food comes from. Well, the goat died. We got a special.

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Speaker 1: You can put the restaurant on wheels. That's brilliant. I'm

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Speaker 1: telling you everybody, this is such a great idea. I

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Speaker 1: can't believe it. Nobody came up with the patent, didn't

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Speaker 1: and then you're done. Yes see, I don't want to

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Speaker 1: give away my idea now because an idea for stars,

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Speaker 1: it's gonna be called Sloppy Dave's and it was gonna

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Speaker 1: be all the messy concoctions of food I came up

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Speaker 1: with as a kid, like you know, the crazy things.

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Speaker 1: But here's the kicker. You want to be comfortable, right.

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Speaker 1: The napkins are shirt sleeves, So you put them on

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Speaker 1: and you wipe your face on your sleeve, and that's

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Speaker 1: the napkins. That's pretty great. That's on sanitary. You're on sanitary.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna get a d It's a napkin. What's the difference.

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Speaker 1: But it's got like a button collar and you just

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Speaker 1: wipe your arm. You've never wiped your arm. In the

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Speaker 1: age that we're in right now, we're all the healthy.

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Speaker 1: Everybody wants to eat healthy and stuff, and the begins everywhere.

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Speaker 1: I doubt that that's the whole point of going to

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Speaker 1: the restaurant. You're gonna start. You're gonna have kids going

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Speaker 1: a mom, dad. I want to go to the restaurant

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Speaker 1: where I can light my face on my sleeve today.

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Speaker 1: He will tell you. I'm sure as as parents, you don't.

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Speaker 1: You get disgusted even clean up your kids stuff. You

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Speaker 1: don't want to see it at a restaurant. Totally. What

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Speaker 1: are you talking about? They use napkins. It's just a

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Speaker 1: sleeve shaped napkin. You're making stuff the sleep are the

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Speaker 1: sleeve shaped napkins like um, the type that you guys

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Speaker 1: wash or they disposable. You could probably make paper ones,

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Speaker 1: but I would have cloth at the place I got

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Speaker 1: cloth sleep. Why stop at sleeves? Give me pants, Give

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Speaker 1: me napkin pants too, so I can wipe my hands

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Speaker 1: on my pants. Awesome, bad like a like a crotch bar.

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Speaker 1: I would do that. It's so funny you bring this up.

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Speaker 1: I remember just now my dad. He would get a

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Speaker 1: bag of Cheetos and he would get home from work

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Speaker 1: and he's tired and he's sitting there with his bag

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Speaker 1: of Cheetos and he would wipe his fingers on his sleeve,

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Speaker 1: so there his sleeve would just be orange. We always

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Speaker 1: do anything eat. Someone in this room, mother than me,

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Speaker 1: has done it. Don't lie when you're desperate for a

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Speaker 1: napkin and it's late at night, you wipe your hands

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Speaker 1: on your socks all the time. But but you know what,

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Speaker 1: Brodie's a finger sucker to like, he's wasted here in

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Speaker 1: the studio. Do you know where your fingers? A man?

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Speaker 1: I don't like that sound though, but I know it's

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Speaker 1: for today. I understand that. But if I like, we

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Speaker 1: had pizza today from Monty's and that's sweetened and spicy

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Speaker 1: sauce like that tied chili sauce, I had to go

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Speaker 1: my finger. What are you? I couldn't wipe it on

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Speaker 1: my sauce. Let me tell you it's not just Brody.

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Speaker 1: I have a friend that does it as well. And

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Speaker 1: I don't think you established this. I'm not going on

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Speaker 1: the planet. I don't want to know. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to throw you into the bus like that. But I

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Speaker 1: have a body that I've gone to get food with,

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Speaker 1: right and we had pulled pork sandwiches and it came

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Speaker 1: over here on his thumb a little bit, and he

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Speaker 1: was like this, and I was like, oh, dude, stop stop.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't if you eat ribs. If you eat ribs,

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Speaker 1: you're telling me you don't lick your fingers. No, no,

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Speaker 1: you don't eat ribs. Oh my gosh, wait a minute,

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Speaker 1: this is actually something I talked about it mother. I

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Speaker 1: didn't even realize this about my brother. He has no

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Speaker 1: finger The other day I had a barbecue and I

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Speaker 1: served ribs and I said to my brother, why aren't

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Speaker 1: you eating them? And my sister said to me, you

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Speaker 1: don't know. He doesn't eat with his fingers. He won't eat.

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Speaker 1: He won't do that. He doesn't like the food. I

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Speaker 1: don't like it to get on his fingers. Pizza. Here's

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Speaker 1: the thing. So when I pizza, you have a handles,

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Speaker 1: they forget the corner. You get the corner, which is

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Speaker 1: I always go for the corner. But it's just gonna say,

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Speaker 1: will not eat the centrum of square pizzas and wings

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Speaker 1: in restaurants. I have asked for gloves so I don't

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Speaker 1: have to have it on my fingers. Having like juicy

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Speaker 1: stuff had the same thing, she wouldn't eat it off

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Speaker 1: the bone. I don't like. I don't. I didn't understand.

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Speaker 1: Can we just remind people if you listen to these

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Speaker 1: podcasts in order? Greg t refuses to lick his fingers

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Speaker 1: because it's disgusting, but he peas in his own pool.

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Speaker 1: Here we go again, the floor in his mouth. Here,

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Speaker 1: what I did, what I did on the carpeting. It

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Speaker 1: was a mistake. Let's get past on the floor. Can

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Speaker 1: I just say one thing about that, I really am

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Speaker 1: wanted to keep on breathing off. The first time that

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Speaker 1: you pooped on the floor, they're floating. Series think. I

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Speaker 1: noticed people are talking on my mask. That's the way

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Speaker 1: I think. The second time, like when you stood there

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Speaker 1: and realize that it was happening, you perfectly tried to

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Speaker 1: aim at It's scary. Okay, maybe if people are talking

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Speaker 1: about this, you are ships on the floor. All of

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Speaker 1: a sudden, it's talking to time. I don't hear about

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, everybody was talking about it. You have

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Speaker 1: to realize that when people come in here, they ask

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Speaker 1: us why doesn't the carpet match, and we have to

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Speaker 1: explain something different than in a normal office. People talk

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Speaker 1: about how Bob took someone else's stapler, like did you

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Speaker 1: Bob took mary stapler? And he's acting like it's stapler

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Speaker 1: you ship on the floor. I'll tell you, why did

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Speaker 1: you not try to poop on? Scary? So here's what

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Speaker 1: I think he did. I had what I did. I'll

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Speaker 1: put it to rest already, and then I would ask

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Speaker 1: a question before you do that. Go ahead. Did you

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Speaker 1: see Ed expensed his lunch but he wasn't. It wasn't

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Speaker 1: really a business lune and he wasn't at lunch and

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Speaker 1: he was talking to Maria a side note. Great, here's

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Speaker 1: what happened. Here's okay, here's here's what happened. All right,

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Speaker 1: So I ate food, Okay, so listen. So I've been

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Speaker 1: having an issue with going to the bathroom. Okay, after

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Speaker 1: my colon oscarpee. My doctor says I should take mirror

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Speaker 1: lax in the morning and mirror lax at night. So

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Speaker 1: it's two times a mirror lax. Okay, relax, Okay, it

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Speaker 1: came out like much. So right, So what happens is

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Speaker 1: is that presently I have not been having some hard

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Speaker 1: enough stools. Okay, So what happened is dan Nate said

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Speaker 1: to me and that you have to admit you said

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Speaker 1: to me, put the ping pong ball far up there,

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Speaker 1: so screwing of a problem getting it out? Did you

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Speaker 1: not say that? I may have said, have it? Are

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Speaker 1: you taking notes? Can you eat the transcript back? But

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Speaker 1: I just wanted to be I don't know if I

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Speaker 1: necessarily said put it up your butt hole? But did

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Speaker 1: you say you did say put it up there? I

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Speaker 1: can't remember, your honor, I don't remember. The ball doesn't fit,

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Speaker 1: you must acquit. They said, did you put it up there?

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Speaker 1: And I said, I said, oh, baby, did I ever?

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Speaker 1: I said, I jammed it up there and then I

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Speaker 1: sat on it really good. I didn't know about that.

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Speaker 1: Did you know that Stephanie took home coffee paper? The

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Speaker 1: coffee paper the okay, so it's all the way up there, okay,

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Speaker 1: which now is stretching out my muscles. Okay, so now

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Speaker 1: scary is in there now, scary model? Did you not

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Speaker 1: flick it many times? I had to because I wasn't touching.

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Speaker 1: What was he flicking ball with my nail with my

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Speaker 1: nail like this right, So as he as he flicked

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Speaker 1: with this Intenate's restaurants, something that was giving vibrati, it

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Speaker 1: was sending missions into the that area. So when the

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Speaker 1: ball came out, it was like a suction popped out

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Speaker 1: and it started to come out. So here's what happened,

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Speaker 1: like champagne. Now let's get to this point, because so

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Speaker 1: it is coming out, So now I feel like pushing

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Speaker 1: down towards my whole. At that point, I just said

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Speaker 1: to myself, screw it. At this point, it's already out,

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Speaker 1: it's on the floor. And then I just said it's

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Speaker 1: coming anyway, and I pushed a little, and the rest

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Speaker 1: of you you did so at the second point, you

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Speaker 1: did push. But to be honest to Danielle's point that

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Speaker 1: I think it'd be funny if it's shot out of

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Speaker 1: my butt like like that onto you. Yes, I thought

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Speaker 1: that would be hysterical. Had it actually shot feces out

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Speaker 1: onto your church. How did you think that would be hysterical?

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Speaker 1: You wouldn't have laughed if it would be like in

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Speaker 1: a movie, like it's shooting out and hitting somebody why

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Speaker 1: why did you dig? That would be appropriate. I thought

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Speaker 1: if I could just just tell you guys something that

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Speaker 1: I think this plays into this beautifully. Edgar on the

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Speaker 1: fourth floor has been making international phone calls and charging

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Speaker 1: the company. Now that I explained that, here's what I

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Speaker 1: want to say to you guys. Okay, how much more

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Speaker 1: time do you have? Scared? All right? Real quick? Do

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Speaker 1: you admit? Like just to sum up, the first time

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Speaker 1: was anything? The first time accidentally happened. The second time

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Speaker 1: it was going that way, but it was going that

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Speaker 1: way anyway. It was to feel the pulse sating of

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Speaker 1: the muscles. It was going there. There's something I could do.

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Speaker 1: So then why are you so bent out of shape

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Speaker 1: when it comes up? After the Okay, listen, there are

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Speaker 1: TV shows and there were actors, comedians, but when they're

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Speaker 1: done with the show, they're done with the show. Now,

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Speaker 1: I've known you guys for so many years now, so

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Speaker 1: after the show is over, can't we just go back? No? No,

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Speaker 1: because continue continue? Can't we just walk away from this

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Speaker 1: and just be normal people to one another? But why

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Speaker 1: continue to bring it up when we just put on

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Speaker 1: a show for audience, Because that's what we did It's

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Speaker 1: not like you did something like a bit for the show.

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Speaker 1: We did that was something that like you can't unsee that,

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Speaker 1: but it was for the show. It wasn't scripted though,

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Speaker 1: like the TV shows you're talking about, though there's a

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Speaker 1: script the character that we can't walk away from, the

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Speaker 1: characters that we have to be on the air. I

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Speaker 1: don't understand why we can't just walk away from that.

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Speaker 1: Why does it have to continue? Do you think I

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Speaker 1: go to my neighbor's house like guys Steve and I

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Speaker 1: go crapping on his on his drive after hours, once

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Speaker 1: it hits ten Eastern Standard time? Why we're still doing

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Speaker 1: the podcast at ten? I just don't understand. And that's

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Speaker 1: the problem. That's the point I'm asking. I don't talk

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Speaker 1: to you scary like we've talked in the air, Daniella,

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Speaker 1: talk to you like that, Nate, Brody, Garrett, none of

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Speaker 1: you guys. It was your best men at the wedding.

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Speaker 1: So why continue theos? But after the show is over,

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Speaker 1: I'm kind of the same person off the year that

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Speaker 1: I am on the air. I don't think I'm much different.

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Speaker 1: Well I really don't am I much different. I'm just

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Speaker 1: wondering why we can't exactly look. I think. I think

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Speaker 1: if any one of us was out to dinner as

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Speaker 1: couples safe, I wouldn't I wouldn't bring it. Neither would

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Speaker 1: in these offices, it's gonna come up. Let's put a

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Speaker 1: night's restaurant need Lune by the like Mike is stealing

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Speaker 1: liquid paper, which is so ninety nine. The fifteen Minute

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Speaker 1: Morning Show