WEBVTT - Episode 5: Ring of Keys 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:02.960 Previously on does this murder make me look gay? 0:00:03.480 --> 0:00:07.000 Can someone help me turn tush over? 0:00:07.920 --> 0:00:08.720 These marks? 0:00:08.760 --> 0:00:12.440 Though? If they are from a knife, that's not one 0:00:12.480 --> 0:00:13.560 I've ever seen before. 0:00:14.480 --> 0:00:14.800 Shock. 0:00:14.960 --> 0:00:16.720 Why would you lie about sleeping with Kelly? 0:00:16.760 --> 0:00:17.920 He paid me for an alibi. 0:00:18.760 --> 0:00:20.599 I asked you all to tell me the truth so 0:00:20.680 --> 0:00:23.480 I could find the killer. Then I stumble on YouTube 0:00:23.520 --> 0:00:26.080 fucking who is fucking Reginald in Shock? 0:00:28.360 --> 0:00:30.920 Is that a lesbian? 0:00:35.920 --> 0:00:39.880 My dear queer listener, Thank Gaga, you're back. We left 0:00:39.920 --> 0:00:42.839 our previous episode with my house guests gathered by the 0:00:42.880 --> 0:00:46.680 front door of my exquisite Hudson Valley home. The storm 0:00:46.760 --> 0:00:51.919 was storming more intensely than Amy klobashar behind closed doors allegedly, 0:00:52.479 --> 0:00:57.480 and standing before them was a freezing cold lesbian on 0:00:57.560 --> 0:01:01.120 the brink of death or at least hypothermia. 0:01:05.520 --> 0:01:09.440 Excuse me, didn't realize it was interrupting a gay reenactment 0:01:09.440 --> 0:01:09.880 of Clue. 0:01:11.000 --> 0:01:13.360 Oh we're not performers, Speak. 0:01:13.120 --> 0:01:15.640 For yourself, James on DJ Connelly. 0:01:16.280 --> 0:01:18.200 I was heading back to the city when my car 0:01:18.319 --> 0:01:20.839 broke down, so I pulled over. 0:01:20.760 --> 0:01:21.679 To wait out the storm. 0:01:22.520 --> 0:01:24.120 But it never stopped. 0:01:25.120 --> 0:01:28.920 Oh after hour and the locks frozen. I was stuck 0:01:28.920 --> 0:01:32.760 a sign, so I've been living off a single kombucha 0:01:33.240 --> 0:01:34.200 two packets. 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:34.759 Of oyster crackers. 0:01:35.240 --> 0:01:37.839 Had an old Melissa Third City. 0:01:38.360 --> 0:01:40.800 I've always been a fat of her raspy vocals and 0:01:40.840 --> 0:01:42.080 confessional lyrics, O. 0:01:42.680 --> 0:01:43.440 You and me both. 0:01:43.920 --> 0:01:45.920 I tried calling nine one one, but had no signal, 0:01:46.240 --> 0:01:49.160 so I played come to my window on loop, hoping 0:01:49.240 --> 0:01:53.320 someone would hear it and find me alas. 0:01:52.960 --> 0:01:58.240 Who can blame you? It's a beautiful song way by 0:01:58.440 --> 0:02:01.800 the lad of Some might say a queer anthem. 0:02:01.840 --> 0:02:04.640 There's only one person who would say that, and her 0:02:04.720 --> 0:02:07.240 name rhymes with per kiss a methridge. 0:02:08.280 --> 0:02:11.520 Once I ran out of food, I sucked my journal dry. 0:02:12.320 --> 0:02:14.239 Are you ware that leather is full of nutrients? 0:02:14.320 --> 0:02:16.640 I've always thought so, which is why I've been looking 0:02:16.680 --> 0:02:18.480 for a leather daddy for years. 0:02:18.919 --> 0:02:20.120 Guess what still looking? 0:02:21.120 --> 0:02:25.079 I was finally able to escape by using my keys. 0:02:25.639 --> 0:02:29.080 I took them off my oversized carabiner and placed one 0:02:29.840 --> 0:02:35.880 on each finger, creating a makeshift version of brass knuckles. 0:02:36.240 --> 0:02:38.760 Damn, lesbians are crafty. 0:02:39.120 --> 0:02:43.080 Then I punched through the frozen window and clawed my 0:02:43.200 --> 0:02:56.560 way out onto the street. Did I just here singing? 0:02:56.760 --> 0:03:00.880 Oh, we're playing the fun Home cast album. It's definitely 0:03:00.919 --> 0:03:03.040 not lay us so longer trapped in the basement crying 0:03:03.040 --> 0:03:04.919 out for help through song fun Home. 0:03:05.760 --> 0:03:07.639 I love that show. 0:03:08.120 --> 0:03:09.880 Surpress, Surpress. 0:03:09.919 --> 0:03:12.840 Of course you do, Reginald behave anyway. 0:03:13.480 --> 0:03:15.560 I made my way to the first house I saw 0:03:16.000 --> 0:03:19.640 was this one. Can I say till the road's clear? 0:03:20.080 --> 0:03:22.600 I'm so very lesbian. 0:03:22.320 --> 0:03:24.800 Cold, I'm very very. 0:03:24.520 --> 0:03:28.960 Cold one moment. Okay, ladies, what do we do? Her 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:30.520 story is deeply moving, but. 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:32.679 Let's see there are two dead bodies in the house 0:03:32.720 --> 0:03:35.440 that she could discover. I think I'll go with no. 0:03:35.800 --> 0:03:36.760 Let her freeze. 0:03:37.320 --> 0:03:39.720 That sort of attitude is what gives gay men a 0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:43.200 bad name. I say, let the dyke in Henry. 0:03:43.560 --> 0:03:47.280 You're always homophobic this and homophobic that you can't throw around. 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:47.480 The word dyke. 0:03:47.520 --> 0:03:52.240 Willy Nelly, I say, let tj into warm herself. This 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:55.960 isn't one of Ryan Murphy's houses. All are welcome here. 0:03:56.480 --> 0:03:59.360 I for one, don't want to frozen lesbian on my conscience. 0:04:00.040 --> 0:04:02.760 But let's make sure she didn't stumble into Vandy's bedroom 0:04:02.880 --> 0:04:05.680 where we're keeping his antush's meat sacks. 0:04:06.160 --> 0:04:09.640 I'm with Poli. Let the pull thing in Moon. 0:04:10.080 --> 0:04:12.520 You've been unusually quiet me. 0:04:13.520 --> 0:04:17.160 I think no for her own safety. 0:04:17.440 --> 0:04:23.159 Well majority rules. Of course you're can come in, TJ. 0:04:23.560 --> 0:04:24.160 Thank you. 0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:31.440 Whoever said all gay men are horrible and only care 0:04:31.480 --> 0:04:33.840 about how they look and what they eat and who 0:04:33.880 --> 0:04:37.040 they fuck and Patty Lapone was wrong. 0:04:37.960 --> 0:04:40.039 Someone get this woman a coat to warm her up 0:04:40.880 --> 0:04:41.839 and a butter beer. 0:04:42.480 --> 0:04:43.920 Yeah, a blanket would do just fine. 0:04:44.200 --> 0:04:45.680 The blankets are all spoken for. 0:04:45.880 --> 0:04:49.040 Reginald relaxed. I saw a cashmir throw on the Chesterfield. 0:04:49.600 --> 0:04:50.240 I'll grab it. 0:04:51.360 --> 0:04:52.280 Just tell me where to go. 0:04:52.880 --> 0:04:54.560 I don't want to be a bother too late. 0:04:54.800 --> 0:04:58.560 Don't mind him, TJ. We've had over rough twenty four hours. 0:04:59.240 --> 0:05:00.479 Maybe not as rough though. 0:05:00.720 --> 0:05:04.720 Here a blanket, it's very soft. Wrap it around your. 0:05:05.279 --> 0:05:08.520 Shoulders, Reginald. Is there a spare bedroom TJ can use 0:05:08.680 --> 0:05:11.480 so she doesn't, you know, go poking around the house. 0:05:11.760 --> 0:05:12.320 I don't poke. 0:05:13.200 --> 0:05:14.000 I'm more of a fister. 0:05:15.200 --> 0:05:18.360 I suppose it can use the green bedroom if it 0:05:18.520 --> 0:05:20.320 must it ignore him. 0:05:20.400 --> 0:05:22.680 We're happier with us. We just need you to go 0:05:22.760 --> 0:05:26.720 up to the green bedroom, close the door and stay inside, 0:05:26.880 --> 0:05:28.039 no matter what you hear. 0:05:28.440 --> 0:05:31.320 No problem me, I've stated at Elton, John and David 0:05:31.320 --> 0:05:33.960 furnished his place a bunch of times. I know the drill. 0:05:34.839 --> 0:05:40.039 I'm a stage manager. I can survive anything except Dance 0:05:40.040 --> 0:05:45.520 of the Vampires. Ooh, and the inheritance man that was long. 0:05:46.800 --> 0:05:47.839 Just point me in the right direction. 0:05:48.880 --> 0:05:52.120 I'll do one better. I'll escort you myself. 0:05:52.600 --> 0:05:56.120 Thank you, gaze, I mean, guys. 0:05:57.279 --> 0:05:59.600 And so, James took TJ by the arm and let 0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:04.039 her up stairs. But what he and everyone else failed 0:06:04.080 --> 0:06:07.320 to notice was the passing glance shared between TJ and 0:06:07.360 --> 0:06:11.240 another guest, someone who knew her quite well and was 0:06:11.279 --> 0:06:17.040 remaining quiet for the moment at least, someone who very 0:06:17.080 --> 0:06:19.040 well may have wanted her dead. 0:06:21.640 --> 0:06:26.600 In a house on him lives okay, and his friends 0:06:26.640 --> 0:06:31.239 want him dead to ride why someone wants to kill 0:06:31.480 --> 0:06:36.680 him even though it's wrong, since the world is manner 0:06:37.440 --> 0:06:44.680 wrong than be is born him very closely him with yourris. 0:06:45.080 --> 0:06:48.279 See if you can guess to which one of. 0:06:48.520 --> 0:06:52.160 These queens maybe is the killer? 0:06:53.279 --> 0:06:57.160 Who is the killer? Who did it? 0:06:59.000 --> 0:07:01.040 Who wanted inter. 0:07:01.520 --> 0:07:05.719 Who crept in his man? 0:07:06.680 --> 0:07:07.320 Who did. 0:07:08.880 --> 0:07:08.920 What? 0:07:09.240 --> 0:07:09.280 It? 0:07:10.720 --> 0:07:11.400 Was it mean? 0:07:11.760 --> 0:07:12.679 Who could it be? 0:07:14.440 --> 0:07:15.240 Who did it? 0:07:17.040 --> 0:07:19.200 They're drugging like flies? 0:07:19.520 --> 0:07:26.040 Who did it? These guys like guys? Who did it? 0:07:26.880 --> 0:07:27.320 Who was it? 0:07:28.480 --> 0:07:28.560 What? 0:07:28.880 --> 0:07:29.160 In me. 0:07:29.840 --> 0:07:30.600 Who could it be? 0:07:32.200 --> 0:07:36.960 Does this word make me look? 0:07:49.280 --> 0:07:53.720 With TJ locked away, James addressed the remaining three HouseGuests 0:07:53.760 --> 0:07:59.760 in the living room, Wilmer Moon, Polly, Henry, Reginald and Jacques. 0:08:00.360 --> 0:08:03.680 Okay, folks, TJ's in the green room. I used this 0:08:03.920 --> 0:08:07.600 to bolter in the master key. Is the only way 0:08:07.600 --> 0:08:09.920 in and out of the locked rooms. 0:08:09.800 --> 0:08:12.160 Minus the hidden passageway in Vandy's. 0:08:11.720 --> 0:08:18.960 Bedroom, Yes, Henry, minus that, Reginald. Any more secret rooms 0:08:19.040 --> 0:08:21.040 the murderer might be able to access? 0:08:21.240 --> 0:08:22.640 How would I know they're secret? 0:08:23.040 --> 0:08:25.160 Yes? But you own the house. 0:08:25.720 --> 0:08:32.040 Actually, Daddy owns owned the house. Reginald isn't on the paperwork. 0:08:33.120 --> 0:08:34.880 What I'm just dating facts. 0:08:35.160 --> 0:08:38.520 Vandy and I share everything. This place is just as 0:08:38.600 --> 0:08:42.920 much mine as his. So if you think you're going 0:08:43.000 --> 0:08:46.920 to move back in Wilmer, you've got another thing coming. 0:08:47.080 --> 0:08:51.240 Yeah yeah, did you just slap me? 0:08:52.679 --> 0:08:54.880 Did you just slap me? 0:08:56.559 --> 0:08:58.720 You know it? Which bitch? 0:08:59.280 --> 0:08:59.640 Freak? 0:09:00.160 --> 0:09:02.440 Geek skank wank? 0:09:02.720 --> 0:09:05.720 Hey, hey, break it up. None of us work for 0:09:05.720 --> 0:09:09.200 greg Orlanti. We can all be civilized. Let's steer clear 0:09:09.240 --> 0:09:12.160 of TJ's room. As soon as the storm dies down, 0:09:12.200 --> 0:09:14.320 we'll send her on her way. Never to be heard 0:09:14.320 --> 0:09:17.520 from again, just like original Jersey Boys star John Lloyd Young. 0:09:18.040 --> 0:09:18.920 Well, I for. 0:09:18.920 --> 0:09:21.040 One, have far better things to do than cozy up 0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:23.800 to a l la la la lisbian and remind me 0:09:23.880 --> 0:09:25.880 to burn the sheets when this is over. 0:09:26.520 --> 0:09:30.640 Let's not forget that we cut the killer Kelly, which is. 0:09:30.679 --> 0:09:31.920 Why we locked him up. 0:09:32.559 --> 0:09:34.360 What do we plan on doing with him? 0:09:34.520 --> 0:09:37.640 Kelly might be guilty, but he also shared some information 0:09:37.720 --> 0:09:40.000 I need to follow up on. If anyone leaves this 0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:45.520 room without my permission, I'll assume you are the murderer. Now, shock, 0:09:46.320 --> 0:09:46.800 come with me? 0:09:47.240 --> 0:09:51.800 Uh, I can't. Reginald really took it out me. Plus, 0:09:51.800 --> 0:09:53.599 I just made a jackie in the bathroom. 0:09:53.880 --> 0:09:58.680 No uugh, I mean walk with me to Vandy's study. 0:09:58.920 --> 0:09:59.880 You have some explaining to. 0:10:04.080 --> 0:10:07.040 James closed the door of my study, taking a seat 0:10:07.080 --> 0:10:13.880 on top of my large, heavy, thick desk. Jacques sat 0:10:13.880 --> 0:10:17.240 across from him, burrowed into one of my magnificent club chairs. 0:10:17.679 --> 0:10:20.360 The porn star wasn't used to being interrogated with his 0:10:20.440 --> 0:10:21.520 clothes on. 0:10:22.240 --> 0:10:24.680 Tell me about yourself. Start at the beginning. 0:10:25.120 --> 0:10:27.800 Well, I had to be vacuumed out of me. 0:10:27.880 --> 0:10:31.720 Mum's vagen doctor said they'd never seen a d stuck 0:10:31.760 --> 0:10:33.440 dog mom before, not that far. 0:10:34.679 --> 0:10:40.560 Just when did you start blackmailing Bandy? Whah, I've never 0:10:40.720 --> 0:10:43.920 cut the crap, Jacques Kelly said, you've been blackmailing him. 0:10:43.960 --> 0:10:46.240 You can deny it, or you can finally be honest 0:10:46.320 --> 0:10:46.560 with me. 0:10:47.280 --> 0:10:52.320 Fine, I'll tell you my story, but only to prove 0:10:52.400 --> 0:10:57.640 my innocence. You may not know this, but I'm a 0:10:57.720 --> 0:10:58.240 porn star. 0:10:58.800 --> 0:10:59.079 Yeah. 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:01.840 I know it was fun at first having sex be 0:11:01.960 --> 0:11:05.920 your job. Other people went to an office, me I 0:11:06.000 --> 0:11:09.079 went to a bed. Other people chowed down cafeteria food 0:11:09.080 --> 0:11:12.559 for lunch. Me our chowed down dick and But porn 0:11:12.679 --> 0:11:13.760 is a young man's game. 0:11:14.160 --> 0:11:15.800 I'm not dummy, right. 0:11:16.120 --> 0:11:18.400 I know my time in front of the camera is limited. 0:11:19.679 --> 0:11:24.160 Every ours eventually runs its race. Same goes for those 0:11:24.200 --> 0:11:27.320 with a horse cock. But I've been on hundreds of 0:11:27.360 --> 0:11:30.520 film sets and I know how the sausage gets made. 0:11:30.600 --> 0:11:33.160 But a few years ago I decided. 0:11:33.440 --> 0:11:35.079 I want to be the one to make it. 0:11:35.760 --> 0:11:38.240 I want to stop starring and porn and I want 0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:41.440 to stop directing it. So I studied up and I 0:11:41.480 --> 0:11:45.640 became an expert in all things pornography. I can quote 0:11:45.679 --> 0:11:49.920 every line in Space nuts name any article of leather 0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:53.360 in the fashionistas even tell you how many palm trees 0:11:53.440 --> 0:11:54.880 are in island fever Free. 0:11:56.440 --> 0:11:57.959 My goal is to have. 0:11:58.000 --> 0:12:03.000 Something as big as theirates, only were they ripped off 0:12:03.080 --> 0:12:06.120 Pirates of the Caribbean. I'm thinking Middle. 0:12:05.800 --> 0:12:09.160 Earth the Lord of the cock. 0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:16.559 Rings working title, Maybe keep working anyhow. That's how I 0:12:16.640 --> 0:12:22.120 came across Fandy. He started in porn. Did you know that? 0:12:23.240 --> 0:12:24.400 No? I didn't. 0:12:24.840 --> 0:12:30.319 He was clever. Used a pseudonym for his directing, Jizimeia 0:12:30.679 --> 0:12:35.120 m a playoff his middle name, Jeremiah. How did I 0:12:35.240 --> 0:12:36.640 figure out Mandy's secret? 0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:38.440 You ask? I didn't ask that. 0:12:38.640 --> 0:12:43.560 Only a film officionados such as myself noticed. Vandy used 0:12:43.600 --> 0:12:45.720 a lot of the same shots in his porn nose 0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:49.640 as he did in his mainstream movies. His breakthrough horror film, 0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:53.000 which which there is an interesting angle that we watch 0:12:53.040 --> 0:12:56.520 an accused woman burn from the same angle from which 0:12:56.559 --> 0:12:59.520 we watch a mustachio twink get his asshole wrecked in 0:12:59.520 --> 0:13:03.480 the porn of Twelve Angry Men, oh Ud, a horror 0:13:03.640 --> 0:13:05.000 Vandy's farm movie. 0:13:04.840 --> 0:13:06.520 Yes, I've seen it. Part of it. 0:13:06.760 --> 0:13:08.760 There's a scene where two actors screw in a pic 0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:12.240 trough and the exact same trough is used in the 0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:13.760 porno star Wars. 0:13:14.679 --> 0:13:14.839 Now. 0:13:14.880 --> 0:13:18.559 Once I figured out that Jizimaier was actually Vandy, I 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:21.800 hunted him down and I made my request. 0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:23.600 How much money does you want to keep Vandy's past 0:13:23.640 --> 0:13:24.160 a secret? 0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:24.760 None? 0:13:25.040 --> 0:13:28.600 At first I wanted Vandy to mentor me, show me 0:13:28.640 --> 0:13:31.440 the ropes, teach a bloke to fish and all that. 0:13:32.000 --> 0:13:36.680 Who better to learn about directing from right? But Vandy refused. 0:13:37.440 --> 0:13:41.320 You wanted nothing to do with pawn anymore. And that's 0:13:41.360 --> 0:13:44.120 when I demanded money to keep quiet. Otherwise I'd leak 0:13:44.160 --> 0:13:47.000 his past to the press. I'm not proud of mind you, 0:13:47.559 --> 0:13:48.840 but he gave me no choice. 0:13:49.880 --> 0:13:52.600 Is that why you started seeing Reginald to get back 0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:52.960 at him? 0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:58.000 Maybe at first, but our relationship has its perks. Reginald 0:13:58.000 --> 0:14:03.000 gives me gifts, lotions my skin. Plus he has loads 0:14:03.040 --> 0:14:05.040 of obscure stories from history. 0:14:05.280 --> 0:14:07.880 Did you know that there was a Second World War? 0:14:08.520 --> 0:14:11.400 Also, he's into some wild role play, kinky stuff, like 0:14:11.600 --> 0:14:14.240 like stand on over me at not with a medical scalpel, 0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:14.680 you know. 0:14:14.720 --> 0:14:15.559 But it's just sex. 0:14:15.559 --> 0:14:19.840 It's nothing serious, at least not serious enough to kill over. 0:14:20.840 --> 0:14:24.520 But money is Vandy was paying you to keep quiet 0:14:25.000 --> 0:14:27.800 if he decided to stop. That's a motive. 0:14:28.280 --> 0:14:31.000 It will be if I cared about cash, but I don't. 0:14:31.720 --> 0:14:35.200 I took Vandy's money because I figured that eventually he'd 0:14:35.200 --> 0:14:37.320 get tired and he'd take me under his wing. 0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:40.760 But now that he's dead, there goes that plan. 0:14:41.080 --> 0:14:44.160 It's hard to believe you don't care about money. Everyone 0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:45.120 cares about money. 0:14:45.280 --> 0:14:47.280 Well, I'm not everyone. 0:14:47.440 --> 0:14:49.400 If it was all about money, I'd have done something 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:52.840 anything to get into his will. But even I'm not 0:14:53.040 --> 0:14:55.160 stupid enough to think my name is in there. 0:14:55.800 --> 0:14:59.160 Bandy's will, of course, do you know what's in it 0:14:59.440 --> 0:15:00.000 or where it is? 0:15:00.480 --> 0:15:01.280 Nope? 0:15:01.720 --> 0:15:05.040 But Vandy talked about it all the time. One day 0:15:05.080 --> 0:15:07.640 you'd be in, the next day you'd be out. He 0:15:07.760 --> 0:15:09.520 changed it so much that I'm sure it's somewhere in 0:15:09.560 --> 0:15:12.240 this house. He'd want easy access. 0:15:12.520 --> 0:15:15.840 As much as James didn't want to, he believed Jaques, 0:15:16.160 --> 0:15:19.920 which meant that he'd hit another dead end. Besides, why 0:15:19.960 --> 0:15:24.400 would Jacques want Tush dead. No, the best suspect was 0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:28.680 still Kelly, who was thankfully tied up and locked away upstairs. 0:15:29.680 --> 0:15:32.720 I believe you, Jacques. Now do me a favor and 0:15:32.800 --> 0:15:36.280 go back to the living room and send Henry to 0:15:36.320 --> 0:15:36.680 see me. 0:15:37.880 --> 0:15:39.600 Before I go. Do you want me to fuck you? 0:15:39.680 --> 0:15:40.200 Excuse me? 0:15:40.480 --> 0:15:42.800 Pick you up, toss you around as a wait you 0:15:42.840 --> 0:15:43.840 say thanks for listening? 0:15:44.200 --> 0:15:47.200 Can't you just say thanks for listening? 0:15:47.920 --> 0:15:48.520 Wow? 0:15:49.480 --> 0:15:50.240 I guess. 0:15:51.560 --> 0:15:54.480 Yeah, I Coulz never thought of it like that. 0:15:55.080 --> 0:15:59.040 Meanwhile, TJ was warming herself up while doing some girdling, 0:15:59.600 --> 0:16:02.600 which is when a girl uses a journal. She still 0:16:02.640 --> 0:16:05.320 couldn't feel her toes and her doc Martins were frozen 0:16:05.360 --> 0:16:10.200 to her legs, but she was a bit better physically. Emotionally, though, 0:16:10.520 --> 0:16:15.360 TJ was uneasy, and not just because she was in 0:16:15.400 --> 0:16:20.040 a house full of gay men. Let's listen in and then. 0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:24.480 I ran out of food. Thankfully I had that Melissa 0:16:24.520 --> 0:16:29.200 Ethard CD, but it hurt coming out just as much 0:16:29.240 --> 0:16:34.120 as it did going down. Her song Somebody Bring Me 0:16:34.320 --> 0:16:38.360 some Water has a whole new meaning. 0:16:40.320 --> 0:16:48.120 But that isn't the strangest thing, Dear Diary. See, I 0:16:48.240 --> 0:16:58.440 know someone in this house, someone I recognize right away, only. 0:16:58.240 --> 0:17:03.560 There pretending not to know me. Do they blame me 0:17:03.920 --> 0:17:08.280 for what happened? It wasn't my fault. They're the ones 0:17:08.480 --> 0:17:10.199 sleep walking through life. 0:17:11.040 --> 0:17:11.800 And now. 0:17:13.040 --> 0:17:14.800 I've stumbled into a nightmare. 0:17:15.640 --> 0:17:18.280 TJ put her diary down and decided to take a 0:17:18.320 --> 0:17:22.040 hot shower. Surely that would help calm her nerves and 0:17:22.119 --> 0:17:29.320 unstick those pesky Doc Martin's TJ stepped in and let 0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:34.360 the warm wetness rush all over her lovely lesbian body. 0:17:34.680 --> 0:17:38.960 Oh, I feel nice. 0:17:39.640 --> 0:17:42.080 She even sang a bit to herself. 0:17:41.920 --> 0:17:50.640 Come to my window, wave all light, all moon, between 0:17:50.680 --> 0:17:51.760 the water and the singing. 0:17:52.119 --> 0:17:55.560 Well, she never heard the click of the bedroom door 0:17:55.840 --> 0:18:03.400 as it opened and someone stepped inside. Back in my study, 0:18:03.800 --> 0:18:06.600 James was interrogating Henry as if he were a cast 0:18:06.640 --> 0:18:10.159 member on Amazon Freevie's breakout hit Jury Duty. 0:18:10.720 --> 0:18:13.560 All right, Henry, spill, I know you and Vandy were feuding. 0:18:13.640 --> 0:18:15.600 I found a copy of the season desist letter that 0:18:15.680 --> 0:18:16.840 Vandy's lawyer sent you. 0:18:17.840 --> 0:18:23.320 That old thing. Sure, and Vandy and I weren't feuding. 0:18:24.119 --> 0:18:28.240 A feud implies love turned to hate. The drama between 0:18:28.240 --> 0:18:32.680 me and Vandy had zero love present, like SJP and 0:18:32.800 --> 0:18:38.440 Kim Katrol. Allegedly, Vandy and I were in an epic 0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:44.800 battle between good and evil, just like in Harry Potter. 0:18:45.040 --> 0:18:49.159 And I assume what you were good and Vandy was evil. 0:18:49.520 --> 0:18:56.280 Absolutely, my whole life I've wanted one thing, love, respect, 0:18:56.359 --> 0:19:00.639 a castle that resembles Hogwarts. That's why I became an 0:19:00.680 --> 0:19:06.200 interior designer because of the world JK. Rowling invented. Look 0:19:06.240 --> 0:19:10.840 me up online you'll see reviewers call my ascetic castle cheek. 0:19:11.960 --> 0:19:15.399 To be clear, I stopped supporting JK once she started 0:19:15.560 --> 0:19:20.440 espousing transphobia. But the world she created, Oh, the world, 0:19:21.000 --> 0:19:26.000 the stone, the brick, the sconces, the magic, a place 0:19:26.040 --> 0:19:29.560 where outsiders can be accepted. I wanted that for myself, 0:19:29.960 --> 0:19:35.160 my very own Hogwarts. It took years to design, and 0:19:35.320 --> 0:19:38.359 Vandy took that dream away from me. He was worried 0:19:38.359 --> 0:19:42.600 about his views, his fucking views. He didn't care that 0:19:42.680 --> 0:19:45.840 I was building my dream castle and that would be 0:19:45.920 --> 0:19:48.800 his view. He had to complain to the town board 0:19:48.960 --> 0:19:53.120 and get his lawyers involved. My architectural plans were denied 0:19:53.680 --> 0:19:55.200 and it was all his fault. 0:19:55.680 --> 0:19:56.800 So you killed him. 0:19:57.080 --> 0:20:01.719 I wish i'd killed him. I would have, but I didn't, 0:20:02.640 --> 0:20:06.720 and I certainly wouldn't have used arsenic. That's far too quick. 0:20:07.359 --> 0:20:15.880 Where's the fanfare? No, I'd want him, need him to suffer. 0:20:17.240 --> 0:20:20.280 Do you know the most painful way to die? People 0:20:20.280 --> 0:20:25.879 think it's burning alive? But actually it's far more subtle dehydration. 0:20:27.000 --> 0:20:31.159 I'd slip him so many diuretics. He'd be a revolving 0:20:31.240 --> 0:20:36.040 door to the bathroom, kissing his life away. Literally, he'd 0:20:36.080 --> 0:20:40.920 start to break down first, malaise in the absence of water. 0:20:41.000 --> 0:20:43.840 The body will try to hydrate itself with anything it 0:20:43.880 --> 0:20:49.040 can fined, like cerebral spinal fluid, the stuff around your brain. 0:20:49.800 --> 0:20:52.760 Then the kidney stops secreting urine and swell and the 0:20:52.880 --> 0:20:56.159 eyes dry, Fever and dizziness and hallucinations. 0:20:56.160 --> 0:20:56.480 Oh my. 0:20:57.720 --> 0:21:07.560 Finally he'd ra coma, then slip away into the beyond. 0:21:10.640 --> 0:21:13.760 And if that didn't work, there's always a voto kadafra. 0:21:15.960 --> 0:21:19.520 Henry. That's absolutely evil. 0:21:19.960 --> 0:21:25.360 Well, I am a slytherin. 0:21:27.080 --> 0:21:30.040 James tried to process what Henry just told him. He 0:21:30.200 --> 0:21:32.720 was so open about his hatred for me. He had 0:21:32.760 --> 0:21:36.399 nothing to hide. If Henry had poisoned me, wouldn't he 0:21:36.480 --> 0:21:38.760 be acting a bit more well. 0:21:39.200 --> 0:21:41.840 Guilty based off everything you've said. You should be my 0:21:41.920 --> 0:21:47.679 number one suspect and under psychiatric evaluation. And yet I 0:21:47.680 --> 0:21:51.560 think you're innocent, insane but innocent. 0:21:51.920 --> 0:21:55.600 Duh. Plus I have no reason to kill Tush. I 0:21:55.840 --> 0:21:59.080 liked him he reminded me of Hagrid only gay. 0:21:59.760 --> 0:22:05.240 Well, well, mcgare you can leave, Henry. Good luck, James. 0:22:05.560 --> 0:22:07.919 You'll figure this out or die trying. 0:22:09.480 --> 0:22:12.720 As James watched Henry head back to the group, he 0:22:12.880 --> 0:22:15.359 noticed something on the floor where Henry had been sitting, 0:22:16.240 --> 0:22:19.760 something that fell out of the interior designer's pocket and 0:22:20.000 --> 0:22:21.120 onto the carpet. 0:22:21.440 --> 0:22:23.720 Is that a needle? 0:22:24.359 --> 0:22:28.159 Indeed it was. As James examined it, he recalled a 0:22:28.200 --> 0:22:31.840 strange exchange between Henry and Reginald in the secret passageway 0:22:32.040 --> 0:22:36.040 when they'd yet to discover my body, an exchange that 0:22:36.119 --> 0:22:39.000 had seemed about drugs. 0:22:39.320 --> 0:22:41.560 Henry, are you thinking not here? 0:22:41.680 --> 0:22:42.280 Not now? 0:22:42.520 --> 0:22:43.600 I need it, Reginald. 0:22:44.200 --> 0:22:45.240 I need my fix. 0:22:46.280 --> 0:22:49.359 James held the needle up to his eye, empty. What 0:22:49.520 --> 0:22:54.320 had been inside of it? He wondered, thinking to himself. 0:22:54.440 --> 0:22:56.000 What is this about? 0:22:58.520 --> 0:23:02.840 Exhausted from his entire negations, James returned to the living room, 0:23:02.880 --> 0:23:05.240 where he'd instructed everyone to wait. 0:23:07.640 --> 0:23:11.400 Okay, folks, I've narrowed it down to Wilmer. 0:23:12.240 --> 0:23:13.080 Where is everyone? 0:23:13.320 --> 0:23:13.879 No idea? 0:23:13.920 --> 0:23:16.200 I'm just fathing my nails. I want to get them 0:23:16.240 --> 0:23:18.200 sharp and pointy so I can use them like cat 0:23:18.200 --> 0:23:19.520