1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:11,920 Speaker 1: Family Secrets is a production of I Heart Radio High 2 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:15,760 Speaker 1: Family Secrets. Family. It's Danny and we're back with an 3 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:19,959 Speaker 1: episode of listener messages. Our mailbox has been rimming with 4 00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:23,120 Speaker 1: your amazing stories, so we're going to start dropping these 5 00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:25,239 Speaker 1: in from time to time as we continue to be 6 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: hard at work creating Season four of Family Secrets with 7 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 1: an amazing lineup of guests, launching in early October. I 8 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:36,559 Speaker 1: know it's a long time to wait, and I know 9 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:39,760 Speaker 1: we could all use the distraction, but good things take time, 10 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:42,720 Speaker 1: and I promise it'll be worth it. In the meantime, 11 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:45,519 Speaker 1: we're trying to bring you as much great bonus content 12 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,400 Speaker 1: as we can, and to that end, here are some 13 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 1: stories recorded by you. Are wonderful, devoted listeners. I'm honored 14 00:00:53,800 --> 00:01:04,559 Speaker 1: and grateful that you're part of my world. By Danny, 15 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:09,200 Speaker 1: I just stumbled across your podcast and was amazed at 16 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:11,759 Speaker 1: the fact that I'm not the only one with such 17 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:15,480 Speaker 1: family secrets. At age fifty five, I found out that 18 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:18,240 Speaker 1: I was adopted. I had been out of contact with 19 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:21,480 Speaker 1: many of my family since my mother's passing when I 20 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:24,360 Speaker 1: was eleven and my father's passing when I was fourteen. 21 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:28,800 Speaker 1: I was raised by family friends with intermittent contact with 22 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:33,440 Speaker 1: those families members over the years. When I received that call, 23 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:37,520 Speaker 1: I found that I had been adopted and may have 24 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:41,199 Speaker 1: a half brother and half sister. Took me six weeks 25 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:44,240 Speaker 1: to get to the bottom of that story by contracting 26 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:49,440 Speaker 1: other cousins I hadn't seen in years. Subsequently, I found 27 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:53,800 Speaker 1: that it was an adoption, but a very unusual one. 28 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:58,600 Speaker 1: My biological mother went to the hospital and delivered me 29 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 1: using my mother and father's names on the birth certificate. 30 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,360 Speaker 1: I've never had a reason to think I was adopted. 31 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:11,600 Speaker 1: I found since that that I had a half brother 32 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 1: and half sister of my mother's side, whom I've met, 33 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:18,840 Speaker 1: and just within this past year, with the help of 34 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:23,200 Speaker 1: the detectives, researchers a little about my father's side of 35 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:27,880 Speaker 1: his family, and have just within the recent few months, 36 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,480 Speaker 1: found that I have another half brother, but on my 37 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:34,040 Speaker 1: father's side. I've always been blessed that many family members, 38 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:39,880 Speaker 1: biological or otherwise, but I had no idea how many 39 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:45,320 Speaker 1: secrets there were, and the fact that for my entire lifetime, cousins, 40 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:50,280 Speaker 1: aunts and uncles everyone knew but me. And now I 41 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:53,560 Speaker 1: have information to share with my own daughters it's been 42 00:02:53,639 --> 00:03:02,440 Speaker 1: quite attorney, thanks for letting me share. I'm calling because, 43 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 1: like many families, we have a family secret. When I 44 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 1: was seven years old, I was molested by my brother 45 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,920 Speaker 1: for over a year. He was a secret that I 46 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,519 Speaker 1: held on two until I was in my mid forties 47 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:19,400 Speaker 1: and felt safe enough to talk to my husband about 48 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:22,920 Speaker 1: it and then got some therapy. In any case, the 49 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:26,800 Speaker 1: situation started after my brother found out that he was 50 00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:31,120 Speaker 1: adopted by my biological father. My mother had been married 51 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:36,320 Speaker 1: before and divorced, and his biological father wasn't interested in 52 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:40,000 Speaker 1: keeping in contact. My mother married my father and he 53 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:43,320 Speaker 1: adopted him as his My brother was twelve when my 54 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:47,320 Speaker 1: parents told him this, and it really shook him, and 55 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:50,120 Speaker 1: I think he became very confused about a lot of things, 56 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:55,920 Speaker 1: and very shortly thereafter began to molest me and um. 57 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 1: This went on for over a year the time we 58 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 1: lived on the East Coast and and we moved to 59 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,080 Speaker 1: the West Coast, and I was like a little bit older. 60 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:05,440 Speaker 1: I was eight when we moved to the West Coast. 61 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:08,520 Speaker 1: At the end of plan on how I would make 62 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:12,240 Speaker 1: him stop, and I did, but I never told anyone 63 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:15,000 Speaker 1: what happened, and I carried it with me for many years. 64 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:20,599 Speaker 1: My brother and I maintained a relationship, pretty close family 65 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:25,120 Speaker 1: relationship actually up and until I decided to come out 66 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:28,800 Speaker 1: with the information. I spoke to my husband and then 67 00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:31,479 Speaker 1: went to a therapist who recommended that I talked to 68 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,840 Speaker 1: my parents about it. They were divorced. Now. My father 69 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:38,159 Speaker 1: was wonderful, very caring and loving towards both my brother 70 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:41,320 Speaker 1: and I, exactly how UM I think he should have been. 71 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:45,640 Speaker 1: My mother, however, was very angry at me for telling her, 72 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 1: and um decided that she was going to, in her words, 73 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:54,400 Speaker 1: take my brother's side, and so she did. And also, 74 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:57,560 Speaker 1: in the process of all of that volatility and that conversation, 75 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:01,680 Speaker 1: said that she knew So I never really knew what 76 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,799 Speaker 1: that meant. She and I have never discussed it since 77 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:07,240 Speaker 1: um this was about four years ago. It's come up 78 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:10,680 Speaker 1: now and then, but she's so volatle about it that 79 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,800 Speaker 1: I don't engage in the conversation with her. I just 80 00:05:12,839 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 1: can't see that helping anything. HI at age fifty three, 81 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:26,880 Speaker 1: on a Sunday evening, I just put my wife to bed, 82 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:28,800 Speaker 1: tucked her in, and I want to watch some television 83 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 1: on my phone went off. The text from a lady 84 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:36,359 Speaker 1: that said, you don't know me, but my husband was adopted. 85 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:40,239 Speaker 1: The lady said her husband was adopted, and she gave 86 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:43,000 Speaker 1: me a name that part of it was my uncle's name. 87 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:46,320 Speaker 1: She gave me the birth mother's name, which was my 88 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:50,760 Speaker 1: birth mother's name, and her birthday, which really shocked me. 89 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:54,120 Speaker 1: And I said, I don't have a brother. It's only 90 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,920 Speaker 1: me and my sister my entire life. And she kept 91 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:01,280 Speaker 1: asking questions while she was asked the questions. I phoned 92 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,760 Speaker 1: my parents, so I have the lady texting on their 93 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:06,640 Speaker 1: match on the phone. I told my father what happened 94 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:10,120 Speaker 1: the strange lady texting me. His immediate reaction was anger, 95 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:14,080 Speaker 1: which told me he should have been asking questions, but 96 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:19,000 Speaker 1: he was angry instead. Well, ultimately he admitted that I 97 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 1: did in fact have a full biological brother, and come 98 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:25,719 Speaker 1: to find out, after fifty or three years, he did 99 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:30,400 Speaker 1: fifteen minutes away from me. I'm a musician. He had 100 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:32,440 Speaker 1: actually been at some of my shows. He didn't know 101 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:35,000 Speaker 1: he had a brother or not. I little rough times 102 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,840 Speaker 1: came after that. My parents were angry at the woman 103 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:40,800 Speaker 1: for coming forward. They kept repeating that they were never 104 00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:46,200 Speaker 1: going to tell me. Ultimately, so through some pressure from me. 105 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:52,159 Speaker 1: We all met and uh then I publicly broadcasted because 106 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:55,640 Speaker 1: I was tired of after all that time not knowing. 107 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:57,920 Speaker 1: Now you want me to keep it a secret. No, no, 108 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,880 Speaker 1: that's not going to happen. So was put out there. 109 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,479 Speaker 1: And my mother said afterwards, put out there ship the 110 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:08,919 Speaker 1: best sleep of her life. And now they regret and 111 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:12,600 Speaker 1: never telling me. So there was a happy ending in it. 112 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:17,080 Speaker 1: And rather than be angry at the fifty three years lost, 113 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:20,280 Speaker 1: my parents are seventy three seventy four, I said, I'm 114 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:23,560 Speaker 1: not going to lose their relationship now, so I just 115 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:28,360 Speaker 1: accepted it. Water into the bridge and it's all good now. 116 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:29,920 Speaker 1: But I still not use the same brother. And it 117 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,920 Speaker 1: was three years I didn't have one. It's really difficult 118 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:36,680 Speaker 1: to get the concept, but I'm slowly going into it. 119 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:49,840 Speaker 1: So that was my family's secret. If you'd like to 120 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:55,000 Speaker 1: share your story, call one eight Secret zero and record 121 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:57,920 Speaker 1: your story. We won't be able to run all the stories, 122 00:07:57,960 --> 00:07:59,520 Speaker 1: but we do want to shine a light on as 123 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:04,240 Speaker 1: many a weekend. The number again is one eight Secret 124 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:22,400 Speaker 1: and then the numeral zero. For more podcasts for my 125 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:25,480 Speaker 1: Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app Apple podcast 126 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,640 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows,