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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and

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Speaker 1: I'm Nila and Happy hump Day, guys. Oh La, Hope

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Speaker 1: you guys are having a good week. Hope you guys

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Speaker 1: upset your intentions for the week. Hope you guys aren't

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Speaker 1: letting any function rule your day, cause you're in control

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Speaker 1: of what affects you. And I'm just saying this because

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Speaker 1: I have to remind myself this daily, So yeah, do

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Speaker 1: that shit.

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Speaker 2: Life is definitely a wave.

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Speaker 3: One day I'll wake up so pumped and happy and

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Speaker 3: the next day I'm like, I'm depressed again.

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Speaker 1: Oh do I need medication?

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Speaker 2: No, I just remember I'm in control of my feelings.

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Speaker 3: I'm happy, I'm grateful, And that's just constant thing I'm

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Speaker 3: replaying in my mind.

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Speaker 1: Don't be mad, don't be sad, don't be mad, don't

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Speaker 1: be sad. You're happy, you're eating, You're happy. We have

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Speaker 1: a guest today that I'm really excited to share with

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Speaker 1: you guys. Her name is Ariel and she is the

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Speaker 1: founder of My Little Yonie. She does women's work and

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Speaker 1: is just overall an amazing person. I'm so gladly connected

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Speaker 1: and I actually met her through her partner who was

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Speaker 1: an incredible photographer and just his spirit too. He's just

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Speaker 1: such a great person. And he passed you along to me,

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Speaker 1: and actually I was telling her. I was like, I

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Speaker 1: was in your house and Warwick gave me one of

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Speaker 1: your yonie my little yonies, and I was obsessed. And

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Speaker 1: I actually I was with our beauty Blender team and

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Speaker 1: I was just like really into it, and they were like,

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Speaker 1: we need to go down and shoot, you need to

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Speaker 1: stop talking about vaginas bull of us. I was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, my daughter needs this. I'm like, so do

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Speaker 1: all your kids. Okay, if you tune into Patreon and

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Speaker 1: you subscribe, you will see my little yone right here

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Speaker 1: behind us on our set. It's on our good Mom's sign.

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Speaker 3: So tell us what my little Yoni is. So everyone

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Speaker 3: listening is not like, what the fuck are you guys

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Speaker 3: talking about?

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Speaker 4: Well, first of all, thank you for inviting me to

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Speaker 4: be here with you, ladies. I think what you're doing

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Speaker 4: is it's it's unique, it's needed, and you're I see

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Speaker 4: you as trailblazers.

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Speaker 5: Oh, thank you.

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Speaker 1: Add to the list.

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Speaker 4: Well, so my little Yoni, everyone who can't see it

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Speaker 4: but is listening is probably what is that, but it's

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Speaker 4: the world's first vagina superhero, or more accurately, I guess

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Speaker 4: it would be full of the superhero. But basically, we've

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Speaker 4: taken the vagina and designed a character in such a

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Speaker 4: way where that symbol is right out in the open

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Speaker 4: and it's non sexualized and non taboo, right.

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Speaker 1: I mean when I saw my little Yoni, I thought

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Speaker 1: the first thing I thought was, Wow, what a great

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Speaker 1: conversation starter. Like if you don't know how to have

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Speaker 1: the conversation about your volva or your sex parts per

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Speaker 1: se with your child, this is a great way to start,

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Speaker 1: you know, like it kind of opens up the conversation.

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Speaker 1: It's cute, it's fun, it's not scary, and that's what

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Speaker 1: I love about it. I mean, especially for parents who maybe, yeah,

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Speaker 1: they feel awkward, they don't know how to do it.

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Speaker 2: I think parents forget, forget, yeah, like what, oh okay.

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Speaker 1: They forget until their daughter is like putting their finger

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Speaker 1: in their inside of her vagina and they're like, what

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Speaker 1: are you doing? No, And I'm like, yeah, because Iri

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Speaker 1: does that. And my mom, who didn't really have those

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Speaker 1: talks with me even recently, she was like, you know,

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Speaker 1: have you ever asked Iri, like, has anyone touched her?

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Speaker 1: Like why why? I mean, of course I have those

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Speaker 1: conversations with her. She's like, well, she just like touches

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Speaker 1: that area a lot, and like she's discovering herself. Don't

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Speaker 1: have to be this negative, scary thing. Just talk.

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Speaker 5: Just ask her.

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Speaker 1: Did you ask her?

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Speaker 5: Get right?

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Speaker 1: She's like, well I kind of did, and she like

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Speaker 1: brushed it off. So then it made me worried. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: because no, it's she brushed it off because we normalize it.

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Speaker 1: It's not a big deal, and you need to start normalizing. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so absolutely, thank you for creating, for creating this.

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Speaker 4: Heck yeah, I mean it's part of it. Of course

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Speaker 4: I'm choosing to show up and drive it at this point.

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Speaker 4: But it started in a dream. Really, Yeah, so I

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Speaker 4: had then I came up with the name first my

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Speaker 4: Little Yoni, and then a couple of weeks later, I

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Speaker 4: had this very.

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Speaker 5: Vivid dream, which I don't always vividly dream.

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Speaker 4: In this dream, I was I was in the Yoni

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Speaker 4: verse and these creatures were all over the place, and

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Speaker 4: so that's that's actually where the first design came from.

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Speaker 1: That's amazing, like just sketched out I sketched.

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Speaker 4: It out and then I went through the process of

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Speaker 4: making them and that was it was. It was actually

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Speaker 4: the very first doll what you're seeing behind, which is

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Speaker 4: why it's doll sized. That was that was very seamless.

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Speaker 4: I would say it was very inspired, but that happened

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Speaker 4: years before the current cultural trend. So like I always

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Speaker 4: had clients whould buy them, and I always had natural

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Speaker 4: fans and all that, and generally it was moms who

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Speaker 4: really appreciated it as a conversation starter. But then it

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Speaker 4: was really when the Orange Monster, you know, mister pussy

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Speaker 4: Grabber made.

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Speaker 5: I was like, there's maybe monsters too strong.

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Speaker 1: Acurs.

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Speaker 5: But but when when he made.

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Speaker 4: Pussy mainstream, that's when I started realizing, like, oh man,

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Speaker 4: this is this is going to have to turn into

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Speaker 4: something else. And that's when I designed the charm, which

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Speaker 4: I don't know if you have one, but like this

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Speaker 4: is like the design two point zero, which is even

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Speaker 4: more It's like, so what's great about these is like

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Speaker 4: almost a lot more people could afford these, you know,

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Speaker 4: we keep the price point as low as possible, and

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Speaker 4: also it's not quite as obvious that it's evolda like

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Speaker 4: it's right there but the big dolls, it's like an

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Speaker 4: Engorge turned on, like very obviously vagina versus this is

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Speaker 4: a little more I think it's in some ways it's

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Speaker 4: going to be better for some parents and for.

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Speaker 5: Some kids because it's less obvious.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, you know, it's like if you want to

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Speaker 4: talk about what it is, you can, but not everyone's

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Speaker 4: gonna see it right away. But basically, over the last

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Speaker 4: couple of years, I mean, I'd love to hear from

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Speaker 4: you too, it's just been an onslaught.

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Speaker 5: It's like it's been a full on war, you.

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Speaker 4: Know, when it comes to what's happening inside our court systems,

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Speaker 4: the rates that are getting stripped away.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like absolutely, So.

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Speaker 5: That's basically we're we're rising to meet going on right now.

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Speaker 1: I'm so happy you use.

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Speaker 2: The term war because I use that term a lot.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, we're at war, and.

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Speaker 3: There was like such a strong word, and I'm like,

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Speaker 3: but that's what's happening. And I think a lot of

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Speaker 3: people are so socially numb to what should be normal

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Speaker 3: that they don't realize that if we don't combat the norm,

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Speaker 3: it's just gonna it's gonna get out of control, which

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Speaker 3: to me, it already has. I mean, the Orange Monster

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Speaker 3: is the president and he's grabbing pussies and.

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Speaker 5: And getting away with it.

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Speaker 3: He's been in office the whole damn time grabbing pussies,

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Speaker 3: no apologies about it.

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Speaker 1: So oh, I'm I think in a lot of that

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Speaker 1: the reason why men like him and people like him

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Speaker 1: have gotten away with it is because we don't we

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Speaker 1: don't have we don't feel like we have ownership over

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Speaker 1: our our vagina, our volva. It's almost like it's there

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Speaker 1: for the pleasures of other people. And so I feel

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Speaker 1: like when someone touches it or grabs it in an

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Speaker 1: inappropriate way, it's like, well, it's okay, because that's I mean,

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Speaker 1: he's just being a That's what guys do, that's what

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Speaker 1: they're supposed to do. Even if I didn't like it, it's okay,

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Speaker 1: it's fine, you know. And I think teaching our kids

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Speaker 1: now to really connect with themselves in all ways, not

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Speaker 1: just to your vulva and your you know, in your

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Speaker 1: in your body, in your in your vagina, but like

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Speaker 1: in all aspects of your body period. Like this is

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Speaker 1: your ship. No one's allowed to touch it unless you

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Speaker 1: give them permission, you know, And that really starts. I

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Speaker 1: think I really do believe it really starts with this because.

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Speaker 2: It introduces the conversation and the concept.

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Speaker 1: It's the portal to life. It's why we're all here,

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Speaker 1: really like, we're so connect, this is what we're connected.

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Speaker 1: This is why we're here guys.

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Speaker 5: And I think.

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Speaker 3: I think also people don't realize when you when you

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Speaker 3: can have that separation with your body, it also really

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Speaker 3: causes you to separate with parts of yourself. As women,

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Speaker 3: Not only are we taught to not be in tune

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Speaker 3: with our vaginas and being in tune with our sexuality

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Speaker 3: and like be watered down in that way, but I

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Speaker 3: think that naturally perpetuates us compartmentalizing other parts of our

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Speaker 3: personality in who we are and in spaces because we're

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Speaker 3: not being completely fully in ourselves. And I think that

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Speaker 3: is such a disservice to people, because we're putting on

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Speaker 3: this like what we're supposed to be or what we

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Speaker 3: think we're supposed to because we're not connected to every

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Speaker 3: part even me. I just I just called Eric the

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Speaker 3: other day and I was like, I think I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: have to get hypnotized. I think I need hypnote therapy.

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Speaker 3: Because I'm realizing that I in sexual experiences, I can

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Speaker 3: really disconnect and I've always been that way.

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, and I'm now that I'm like.

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Speaker 3: Older and I'm doing like you know, we're having these conversations,

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Speaker 3: and I'm realizing how important these things are to me

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Speaker 3: and how much my how much of myself is a

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Speaker 3: part of my sexuality.

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Speaker 1: And it's been shamed.

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Speaker 3: That I have allowed sexual encounters with people because that

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Speaker 3: has been the norm, and that I'm almost comfortable with

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Speaker 3: it and that that's been natural to me.

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, it's because I haven't been taught to.

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Speaker 3: Be in tune or like has power over those parts

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Speaker 3: of my body, so I can I could have that

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Speaker 3: to someone I don't really want to have sex with

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Speaker 3: and tap out totally.

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Speaker 4: And not only have you not been taught to tune in,

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Speaker 4: we've actually been indoctrinated and programmed to tune out. Like

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Speaker 4: that's part of being a good woman operating in this culture.

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Speaker 1: You know that shit is scary, Well it's.

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Speaker 4: Scary, and I would say like, and I'd be curious

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Speaker 4: to ask you, but I generally see it's like you

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Speaker 4: even look at okay, like where are we getting our information,

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Speaker 4: Like and you look at unchecked examples of like this

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Speaker 4: is sexual liberation, like Cosmo prime example, I'm like, I'm sorry,

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Speaker 4: that is a brand of patriarchy, like one hundred percent.

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Speaker 4: So like if you actually look into the headlines, it's

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Speaker 4: like how to give men the best head. It's actually

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Speaker 4: how to manipulate a man with sex so that he

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Speaker 4: doesn't leave you because you are not whole as a person.

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Speaker 4: Like that's actually the subtext of everything. Same with Victoria's, honestly,

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Speaker 4: and these are supposed to be brands for women.

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Speaker 1: Cosmo was like where I learned a lot of shit

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Speaker 1: or I would buy it, like in like I would

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Speaker 1: vive in secret because I didn't want my mom to

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Speaker 1: know I was buying it. And like read these women's

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Speaker 1: stories about how they pleased their men and like how

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Speaker 1: to suck dick properly, right, and like yeah, and there

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Speaker 1: was also like liberal like empowering stories in there where

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Speaker 1: women's also empowered by their sexuality. But a lot of

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Speaker 1: it was and is for the pleasure of everyone else

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Speaker 1: beside yourself.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And it's like a lot of it comes down

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Speaker 4: to performance, the performance of sex as opposed to being

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Speaker 4: present in your body and present with your partner and connected.

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Speaker 4: And I think that's a lot of what you're talking

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Speaker 4: about in terms of that dissociation. And I think that

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Speaker 4: like that, I'll call it the reassociation or tuning in.

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Speaker 4: That's a lifelong practice, Like I've been doing it for

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Speaker 4: a long time, and depending on how stressed I am,

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Speaker 4: depending on how often I'm connecting, like there's a million

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Speaker 4: factors that will determine how naturally connected I feel or not.

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Speaker 4: But what's really cool about having a practice around it

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Speaker 4: is you start noticing, like what you're talking about, maybe

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Speaker 4: ten years ago you didn't even really.

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Speaker 5: Notice and it's just normal.

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Speaker 3: And now that I noticed it, I can go back

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Speaker 3: to times like in my early twenties where I noticed

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Speaker 3: it but I didn't think about it, and I can

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Speaker 3: go back I would like give ahead from like this

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Speaker 3: from this way, like literally like.

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Speaker 1: This close so you don't have to look at her.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, oh wow, literally like and I noticed, like why

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Speaker 3: am I doing this?

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Speaker 1: And I would do it a lot.

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Speaker 3: But now that I'm like more in tune with myself,

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Speaker 3: I'm realizing because I was checking the fuck out, I

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Speaker 3: didn't I wasn't connected.

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Speaker 1: To that person. I didn't really want to do it.

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Speaker 3: I didn't really want to do it, but I in

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Speaker 3: some parts of me, for some reason, I felt obligated.

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Speaker 6: I felt like blue balls was a real disease. Oh

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Speaker 6: my god, you know, I gonna die if you talk

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Speaker 6: about blue balls, You're gonna get a blue eye for

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Speaker 6: come on, for real.

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Speaker 2: But but like it's funny how when you cut, like.

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Speaker 1: When not even full circle, because I'm like, we're always growing.

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Speaker 3: But that I did notice it, but not so it

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Speaker 3: was just a very very swift thought. And then I

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Speaker 3: continued and my toxic behavior because that's all I had known.

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Speaker 3: And like that's why when we were talking to you

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Speaker 3: on the phone before you came. You know, obviously my

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Speaker 3: little Yoni is like this amazing cool introduction to like,

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Speaker 3: you know, very small kids to break this cycle. But

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Speaker 3: like your your work that you've done that to to

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Speaker 3: lead you here, Like.

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Speaker 1: Your sexual like your sex what is it? Sexuality health?

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Speaker 1: What do you specialize?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, sex education, and I would say sexual wholeness for women, yeah,

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Speaker 4: and the men who love them. Because like for me,

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Speaker 4: it's like I'm actually a humanist. I really love you know, humans,

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Speaker 4: But I feel like we got we have to focus

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Speaker 4: on women. It's, as my husband says, unless the unless

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Speaker 4: the girls are dancing, it's not a party, like if

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Speaker 4: the women don't feel safe to dance, Like what is

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Speaker 4: going on people?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 4: So I really feel like putting the power back in

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Speaker 4: the hands of women and also helping women take responsibility

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Speaker 4: for their own experiences again, then that that creates the

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Speaker 4: space for men to show up, right, you know, Like

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Speaker 4: but to me, these issues like my little Yoni, it's

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Speaker 4: that they're they're human issues.

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Speaker 5: Like absolutely, we.

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Speaker 1: Can't even I think it until women really take that back.

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Speaker 1: We can't even educate our men on how how to

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Speaker 1: like handle us right, because we don't even know how

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Speaker 1: to handle it.

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Speaker 2: Well.

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Speaker 3: We've normalized the patriarchy so much to the point where

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Speaker 3: we are obviously we are, we're products of the environment.

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Speaker 3: And a lot of times it's women shaming women. It's

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Speaker 3: women like you need to calm down with those with

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Speaker 3: those sexual prevocative moves. You need to cut jamelan to

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Speaker 3: put on a bra, You need to not wear that

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Speaker 3: seathrough shtop.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's inappropriate.

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Speaker 3: There's kids around those kids got fed by these nipples

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Speaker 3: or somebody's shit, you know, And so it's like, there's

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Speaker 3: so much work to be done within us, and then

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Speaker 3: it has to be taken to the men so that

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Speaker 3: we can change.

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Speaker 1: The system completely.

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Speaker 2: But if no one's willing to do the work like you,

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Speaker 2: then we'll be just in this fucked up cycle.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and so with my old Yoni, it's like it

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Speaker 4: is the front facing symbol. It's the friendly Vagiana superhero

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Speaker 4: that can you know, feasibly be friends with anyone. But

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Speaker 4: it's actually, if if you look at we've grown up

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Speaker 4: in such a phallic culture, you know, it's like to

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Speaker 4: introduce a yonic symbol that overtly can be very confronting

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Speaker 4: even though everything you've are you said, like, it's where

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Speaker 4: we come from, it's the most natural thing in the world.

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Speaker 4: But we're we're in a pretty insane situation at this point.

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Speaker 4: But with the Yoni, I think it's.

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Speaker 5: I think it's valuable to even mention why yoni is

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Speaker 5: a word.

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Speaker 1: I was gonna ask you, like, yeah, can you explain

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Speaker 1: to our listeners what yoni is? Like yeah, like why

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Speaker 1: where it's derived from?

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Speaker 4: Or yeah, yeah, And I've listened to some of your

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Speaker 4: episode or one episode in particular, and where you mentioned

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Speaker 4: how important it is to actually have proper.

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Speaker 5: Language for vagina.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and I totally agree with that and proper anatomy

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Speaker 4: and all of that with with Yoni, like, I actually

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Speaker 4: think it has the potential to be a word that becomes,

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Speaker 4: you know, like a mass massly accepted word. And it

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Speaker 4: actually it is a real word for vagina. It's not

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Speaker 4: just a made up word. It's actually it's an old

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Speaker 4: Sanskrit word, which is not why we chose it. But

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Speaker 4: I really do like the definition, which is sacred gateway.

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Speaker 4: I heard you and Shan talking about vagina and how

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Speaker 4: it means sheath for a sword, h And actually it's

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Speaker 4: only about the canal. It's not doesn't describe the whole thing,

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Speaker 4: right versus Yoni means it means sacred gateway, and it

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Speaker 4: encompasses the whole Fulda, even the womb.

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Speaker 1: So Yoni encompasses the whole thing as everything as the

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Speaker 1: whole thing, yes at all, So not it's not just

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Speaker 1: when the vagina or the whole area.

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Speaker 4: And it means sacred gateway. And I'm like, oh my god,

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Speaker 4: there's no like that was normal. Like imagine if all

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Speaker 4: children were like, oh, sacred gate the sacred gateway that

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Speaker 4: would probably change things later in life.

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Speaker 3: Well too, and then they'd be like, it's sacred, I'm sacred.

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Speaker 3: The moment I want to have sex with is sacred.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 3: That would change the perspective in the conversation a lot totally.

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Speaker 4: So we want we want Yoni, I mean, and I'm

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Speaker 4: grateful with the yoniegg movement and like even the controvery

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Speaker 4: see around the group stuff, because it has gotten Yoni

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Speaker 4: out there a bit more.

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Speaker 1: What is it?

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Speaker 4: Oh, so that website group, the goop they they they've

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Speaker 4: kind of helped popularize the Yoni gig And then there

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Speaker 4: were some doctors who got upset about.

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Speaker 5: It, and there was like controversy around the Yoni.

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Speaker 4: Not my area, but but but one of the outcomes

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Speaker 4: is that Yoni became a.

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Speaker 5: More known word.

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Speaker 4: Right, But I really like the idea of Yoni kind

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Speaker 4: of taking over.

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Speaker 2: I support that and I will I will stand with you.

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Speaker 3: And now Vagina's out of my vocabulary.

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Speaker 5: An anatomy lesson.

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Speaker 4: It's good to know, you know, baby Minora, but va,

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Speaker 4: but that's the whole thing.

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Speaker 5: Gateway.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, in your in your sexual health work, where where

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Speaker 3: would you start, like with women or with me?

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Speaker 1: For instance?

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Speaker 2: Who's just experienced like just realizing.

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Speaker 1: Oh fuck, I'm fucked up.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, this is not good in your work and

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Speaker 3: and with your clients that you've had, because I know

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Speaker 3: you've done like one on work, one on on work

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Speaker 3: in that space and what like where do you meet them?

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Speaker 3: What do you like, how do you open up that door?

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Speaker 3: Because your work is not there, Like there's not a

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Speaker 3: lot of women doing things like that.

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Speaker 2: You know, you don't just like go to the yellow.

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Speaker 1: There's not like this is like a like how do

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Speaker 1: you even know where to start? It's like you kind

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Speaker 1: of build your own you know, curriculum in a way, right,

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Speaker 1: based on like who you meet and where they're at,

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Speaker 1: Like is it like sexual therapy?

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Speaker 5: So so so yeah, so we got to be careful

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Speaker 5: with terms.

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Speaker 4: So I would I'm not a therapist, you know, and

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Speaker 4: I'm not a doctor, more be a coach and a teacher.

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Speaker 5: And my background is in human development.

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Speaker 4: And then also I started studying alternative healing modality is

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Speaker 4: really young, so I have a strong foundation and all

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Speaker 4: of that.

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Speaker 5: And it was interesting when I was first first.

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Speaker 4: In the human development world, I noticed that even in

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Speaker 4: spaces where it's supposed to be about unlocking your you know,

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Speaker 4: unlocking your unlimited potential and blah blah blah. There was

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Speaker 4: still a cap on sex, like it was still like

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Speaker 4: the shadow that no one was really talking about much.

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Speaker 4: I was like, that's interesting, Like, clearly in the mainstream

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Speaker 4: cultures there's problems, but even in quote unquote transformational spaces,

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Speaker 4: we're still not talking about it.

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Speaker 1: And that's that's interesting.

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Speaker 3: It's such a It does tie to transformational, it does

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Speaker 3: tie to all those things.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, So I would say my three areas are sex, death,

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Speaker 4: and money.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah. Interesting. It's like to me, those are very equalizers.

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Speaker 4: I don't care how spiritual you are or how secular

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Speaker 4: you are, Like if you are a human and if

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Speaker 4: you're a human alive right now, those three things are going.

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Speaker 1: To affect you, right I don't know who you are.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and they're all very shadowy and taboo, and so

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Speaker 4: those are kind of the place as I feel most

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Speaker 4: comfortable talking about and like in terms of my little Yoni,

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Speaker 4: obviously that's focused more on the sexuality piece, but there's

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Speaker 4: so to answer.

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Speaker 5: Your question, though, where do you start?

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Speaker 4: I mean, I would want to ask you more questions

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Speaker 4: as well, because, like you were saying it's very individual.

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Speaker 4: But I did create a seven week curriculum and it's

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Speaker 4: it's more of a mystery school though like with this work,

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Speaker 4: like I most of my I actually work with women

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Speaker 4: all of the world, of people in New Zealand, Singapore

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Speaker 4: or the Bay Area. But it's it's more of a

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Speaker 4: mystery school because like I'm not splashing Facebook banner ads, right,

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00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,960
Speaker 4: it's really more word of mouth, right, you know. So,

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Speaker 4: But what I would say about it is it's it's

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Speaker 4: a lot of it is about forming a more sensual

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Speaker 4: relationship with yourself. So a lot of it is about

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Speaker 4: slowing down. So there's nothing and there's nothing wrong with

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Speaker 4: the habits we've created arounder sexuality, like even our masturbation

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Speaker 4: habits or love making habits like, so I try to

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Speaker 4: just create new habits around all of that. So it's like, Okay, great,

436
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,240
Speaker 4: if you're used to getting off in five minutes in

437
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:18,960
Speaker 4: this particular way, nothing wrong with that, But how do

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00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:22,080
Speaker 4: we expand that, you know, So it might be over

439
00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:24,280
Speaker 4: a course of a period of time, like you actually

440
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:28,600
Speaker 4: start associating, associating with your whole body rather than just

441
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:30,920
Speaker 4: like erotic sensation in your genitals.

442
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:32,960
Speaker 5: It's like, Okay, what is it like to.

443
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:37,480
Speaker 4: Start feeling sensations in your arms and your breath and

444
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:38,360
Speaker 4: your breath.

445
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,119
Speaker 5: Like in your whole self.

446
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,320
Speaker 4: I mean, this is obviously a really deep conversation, but

447
00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:48,080
Speaker 4: that's a big part of it is creating new pathways.

448
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,639
Speaker 1: And not shaming necessarily the old one and not shaming just.

449
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:54,560
Speaker 3: Recognizing them, saying Okay, maybe they haven't served me and

450
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 3: maybe there's another way that could serve me more, or

451
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,960
Speaker 3: maybe they've been developed through trauma, through things that are

452
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,280
Speaker 3: people telling me is not or I hadn't even thought

453
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,199
Speaker 3: about it. I just developed it and hadn't put much

454
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,159
Speaker 3: thought into it. So now how to explore those things

455
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:07,679
Speaker 3: and maybe switch them up a little bit?

456
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:09,159
Speaker 5: Yeah? And how to?

457
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:12,200
Speaker 4: I mean, look, if you know something is super duper

458
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:16,360
Speaker 4: toxic for you, you you know want to change it out.

459
00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:19,400
Speaker 4: It's like like there's a but there's there's a difference

460
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:26,120
Speaker 4: between expanding your vocabulary versus. There's a difference between expanding

461
00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:29,600
Speaker 4: your vocabulary versus because you want to expand and grow

462
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:32,600
Speaker 4: versus I have a serious problem and need to stop this.

463
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:33,119
Speaker 1: You know.

464
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:36,199
Speaker 4: It's kind of like the difference between like, you know,

465
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:38,119
Speaker 4: I'm eating the same kind of food all the time,

466
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 4: and I want to spice it up versus your doing

467
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:46,199
Speaker 4: heroin right right, right, right, Yeah, So I'm curious, like

468
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 4: I mean, you guys like you have to be careful,

469
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:57,919
Speaker 4: Like I feel like asking you questions you can ask her. Yeah, So,

470
00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:01,639
Speaker 4: I mean, I guess my question would really begin with

471
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:04,480
Speaker 4: if you know, if I if I could waive the

472
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 4: magic wand where would you want to be six months

473
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,120
Speaker 4: from now or a year from now, Like what's your

474
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,639
Speaker 4: vision for yourself in that area?

475
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,879
Speaker 1: That's a good question. I hadn't thought about that.

476
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,679
Speaker 2: My sexual health wellness plan six months from.

477
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:20,399
Speaker 1: Now, I don't know.

478
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,720
Speaker 2: I guess, just more in tune with my with my body.

479
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:27,160
Speaker 3: I don't I'm not a huge masturbator, and I am

480
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:29,359
Speaker 3: if I do masturbate severe like I've had the like

481
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:32,440
Speaker 3: super under the influence or something or like, and it's

482
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 3: usually like quick and not very like thought out like

483
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:39,360
Speaker 3: you were saying. So maybe like exploring that more owning

484
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:41,720
Speaker 3: my sexual I mean, I don't have a problem with that,

485
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:45,040
Speaker 3: let me see, just I guess, just more in tune

486
00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:49,320
Speaker 3: with my sexual behavior and where it roots from and

487
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:52,719
Speaker 3: just being conscious of that so that it doesn't just

488
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:55,439
Speaker 3: continue to trickle down with thought thought. You know that

489
00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 3: I'm mindful of my of my my sexual behavior, and

490
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:02,119
Speaker 3: I'm and even and where I'm maybe some people like

491
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:06,000
Speaker 3: are overly mindful of places like like if you're if

492
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,880
Speaker 3: I'm being too sexual to bring it back in, I'm

493
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:10,439
Speaker 3: not really like that, but just just being mindful of

494
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 3: if I've been judged in spaces and I'm functioning from

495
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 3: that place, or if I've had something happen to me

496
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:21,520
Speaker 3: in childhood or my teenage or younger adult years and

497
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:25,119
Speaker 3: if I'm functioning from that space, because I recognize that

498
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 3: those little things can can make your behavior one way

499
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:32,640
Speaker 3: or another, you know, you know, just like one person

500
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 3: can say one thing to you at a young age

501
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 3: and after that you're never gonna do that again because

502
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:37,720
Speaker 3: that person life told me that.

503
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 1: Was bad, you know.

504
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 3: So like just just I want to be in a

505
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 3: mindful space and just mindful about who my partners are

506
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:46,720
Speaker 3: if they're honoring my body, but that starts with me

507
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,480
Speaker 3: if I'm honoring it and if I've if I'm you know,

508
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,880
Speaker 3: just just being aware is mostly what I could ask

509
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:54,240
Speaker 3: for completely.

510
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, A couple of things on that, I mean, number one.

511
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:02,600
Speaker 4: It's not an accident. I don't believe it's an accident

512
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:06,399
Speaker 4: that some that a lot of this inquiry is coming

513
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 4: up in the in the context of the work you're

514
00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:12,960
Speaker 4: doing together as women as a start, and I'm sure

515
00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:15,520
Speaker 4: from a lot of the conversations you've had with other women,

516
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:18,040
Speaker 4: it's like, so much of this healing work happens in

517
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:20,680
Speaker 4: communities of women. So that's like one of the things

518
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,920
Speaker 4: we're most committed to with my little Yoni is breaking

519
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:26,479
Speaker 4: down barriers. It's like, why, why why is there that

520
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:31,640
Speaker 4: disconnect between women because so much of our so much

521
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 4: of our power is actually sourced through the tribe and community,

522
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 4: and like, of course we stand on our own. But

523
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:41,680
Speaker 4: it's like when when women say like, oh, you shouldn't

524
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 4: trust another woman, it's like you're saying you can't trust yourself,

525
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:45,640
Speaker 4: right right.

526
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 5: Like hello, you know, and regardless of orientation.

527
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:51,919
Speaker 4: It's like one of the reasons I love working with

528
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,480
Speaker 4: groups of women is says like, yes, there's the practice

529
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,080
Speaker 4: you do on your own, but you get ten women

530
00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:59,960
Speaker 4: dancing in a room, the energy gets stirred up real quick.

531
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,440
Speaker 5: And what's great about it is it's not about a goal.

532
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:04,040
Speaker 5: It's not about.

533
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:08,680
Speaker 4: Picking up a guy, like all our previous associations aren't operating,

534
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:11,760
Speaker 4: so you're able to drop in in a whole different way, right,

535
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 4: but I want to I'm happy to gift you my

536
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 4: seven week.

537
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:19,040
Speaker 5: No really.

538
00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:28,560
Speaker 7: So emotional these days. Yes, upstairs a handstand and cry

539
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:32,760
Speaker 7: I love it. No, I mean not well upstairs orgasms.

540
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:43,879
Speaker 1: That's when I go tells true, No, I mean thank you, no,

541
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,160
Speaker 1: because I know it's been something that because I think

542
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:53,520
Speaker 1: because we are always talking about all where maybe I think,

543
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,560
Speaker 1: like you said, like me andm like come together weekly

544
00:27:56,680 --> 00:28:00,080
Speaker 1: and we talk about everything, and a lot of it

545
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 1: is based in sex and us trying to figure out

546
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,960
Speaker 1: how like trying to honor ourselves more and like I know,

547
00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:08,159
Speaker 1: like you did. Like she called me the other day

548
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 1: and was like, I think I need I need to

549
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 1: be hypnotized. Like she's like, I've decided I'm getting hypnotized

550
00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:15,960
Speaker 1: to it and she and I was like for what

551
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,359
Speaker 1: She's like, I just like she said, like I just

552
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:21,399
Speaker 1: figured I need to figure out like where this where

553
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,879
Speaker 1: where the root of all this is coming from? And

554
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 1: me too, I've had to work really hard. I'm trying

555
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:31,480
Speaker 1: to like, yeah, honor myself and like my and my

556
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:33,879
Speaker 1: vagina and who I give it to and not feeling

557
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:36,560
Speaker 1: like I owe you something because you've done something for me,

558
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 1: or because I've made out with you and now it's

559
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:41,720
Speaker 1: too late, or was like I'm horning you for this,

560
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:44,400
Speaker 1: or now I'm naked. Now we're naked, and like you

561
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 1: think we're gonna have sex, but I don't really want

562
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 1: to do it anymore. But I've already led you here,

563
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:52,480
Speaker 1: so let's just do it because yeah, like and then

564
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,280
Speaker 1: I'm gonna feel bad later or I'll just forget about it,

565
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 1: you know. And it does. And I think a lot

566
00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 1: of that, again is rooted in not having these conversations

567
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:05,680
Speaker 1: and really not honoring our sacred gateway, not realizing that

568
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 1: this is that your yoni is precious and is it

569
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 1: for everyone and that's okay and connected to other spaces

570
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:14,040
Speaker 1: in your mind and in your.

571
00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:20,920
Speaker 4: Body, right, Yeah, completely, it's a yeah. It's interesting because

572
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 4: even seeing a lot of the recent conversation of you know.

573
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 1: There's a lot of.

574
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 4: There's there's a lot rising and like you know, and

575
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:34,120
Speaker 4: I think the me too movement's absolutely necessary and you know,

576
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:38,400
Speaker 4: all of this is happening and it's still very much

577
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:42,160
Speaker 4: it's still in this grid luck. You know, it's like

578
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:46,600
Speaker 4: the the Orange monster versus the like marching feminists and

579
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 4: like that whole dynamic I think needs to be happening,

580
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:52,960
Speaker 4: and it's still not addressing what you're talking about, which is.

581
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:55,480
Speaker 5: Like, but what are the conversations we're having with our two, three,

582
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:57,360
Speaker 5: four or five six year olds right right?

583
00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,880
Speaker 4: Because it's like, yes, that that whole fight needs to

584
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:03,760
Speaker 4: happened now, and where where am I going to be

585
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:06,000
Speaker 4: most effective? I'm going to be most effective, you know,

586
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:09,239
Speaker 4: working with moms and their kids because that that's like

587
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:13,560
Speaker 4: the that's where it's like we have more power there

588
00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:13,840
Speaker 4: In a.

589
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:18,400
Speaker 3: Lot of ways, I'm fixing a problem, but we're actually uh.

590
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:19,720
Speaker 1: We're nurturing it from the beginning.

591
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:24,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're recognizing it before it's actually a problem.

592
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 1: I literally just had a vision of my little yone

593
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 1: as a cartoon fighting orange. I literally just saw like

594
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:37,640
Speaker 1: like Donald Trump's like orange face and then my little

595
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 1: Yonie like putting it like floating into yon like Yoni world.

596
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:43,320
Speaker 1: Literally I was like I could see that. I would

597
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:48,440
Speaker 1: watch that cartoon Network or Adult Swim or something.

598
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 5: Outside my brain.

599
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:59,760
Speaker 4: Sorry, I mean just then there's secrets open source brainstorm

600
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:00,680
Speaker 4: all the time.

601
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 1: But so you so, how when you when you introduce

602
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 1: my little Yoni and you you know, you talk to

603
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:11,720
Speaker 1: moms and their children, like how do you explain like

604
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:13,120
Speaker 1: how do you talk about it with them? Like do

605
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 1: you go through and talk about all the parts? Or

606
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 1: like do you explain to them how they can talk

607
00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:21,920
Speaker 1: to their kids about your product? Like how does that happen?

608
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:24,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, So we're actually so so a lot of so

609
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:25,600
Speaker 5: we're we're.

610
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:28,320
Speaker 4: Developing all of that right now, but we've actually been

611
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 4: taking the stories from moms themselves. So like how we started.

612
00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:36,479
Speaker 4: It started with the character. It started with this you know,

613
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:39,840
Speaker 4: it started with this character, and then moms loving it

614
00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 4: and bringing it home and then reporting back to us.

615
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:45,880
Speaker 4: And it's like, so we've let that really guide us

616
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:49,160
Speaker 4: in terms of developing and the accompanying content. So like,

617
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:51,440
Speaker 4: because I think that's really important because at the end

618
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:54,600
Speaker 4: of the day, it's like the the gateway to the

619
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 4: family is the mom's and and how you know, how

620
00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 4: maybe a Christian mom's and relate to this might be

621
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 4: very different from like a you know, a different kind

622
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:06,840
Speaker 4: of mom or like there's so many different kinds of

623
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:10,480
Speaker 4: moms and we want this character to appeal to as

624
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 4: many as many families as possible. Right, So we've really

625
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:17,040
Speaker 4: been in this space of listening and you know, like

626
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:22,080
Speaker 4: here's an example, epic woman Wanona up in the Bay Area.

627
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 4: She got three originally one for her and one for

628
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:25,880
Speaker 4: each of her sons.

629
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:26,800
Speaker 1: I love that.

630
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:28,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, like a five year old and a seven year

631
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:30,600
Speaker 4: old son, and they were super into it.

632
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:31,360
Speaker 1: They're like, what is this.

633
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 5: She's like, it's Theoni, and you know, it's like respect

634
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:35,680
Speaker 5: and all this stuff.

635
00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:38,440
Speaker 4: And a couple of days later they had friends come

636
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:40,680
Speaker 4: over and the first thing they wanted to do was

637
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:41,920
Speaker 4: show their friends Theonie.

638
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 1: They're like, this is.

639
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:44,000
Speaker 5: This is my little Yoni.

640
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:47,760
Speaker 4: And then and then like the younger son again like

641
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:49,240
Speaker 4: five year old boy, he's like, and you have to

642
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:53,720
Speaker 4: be gentle with Theoney. Oh, And I'm just like, you know,

643
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 4: stories like this get back to us and I'm like,

644
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 4: oh my god, he's not going to grow up to

645
00:32:57,440 --> 00:33:04,240
Speaker 4: be a Weinstein. He's gonna ge So but yeah, right

646
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:07,200
Speaker 4: now we are. We're really blessed with some of our advisors.

647
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:10,120
Speaker 4: We have one of the leading gynecologists in the country

648
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:16,200
Speaker 4: working with us, some educational psychologists and so everything we're

649
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 4: packaging together were we want it to be developmentally appropriate too,

650
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:26,080
Speaker 4: So it's like okay at age two, three four, Maybe

651
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,560
Speaker 4: it's as simple as like, this is where babies come from.

652
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 4: And I think the main thing is letting the children

653
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:37,640
Speaker 4: steer their education. So it's like, if a kid asks

654
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:41,480
Speaker 4: a direct question, you want to be able to answer honestly,

655
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:44,920
Speaker 4: but you also don't want to overload them with information.

656
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:47,240
Speaker 4: So when I was growing up, I got too much information.

657
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:48,080
Speaker 5: My mom was a.

658
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:54,520
Speaker 4: Survivor of childhood of major sexual abuse, and as a result,

659
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:56,320
Speaker 4: she told me too much as a kid.

660
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:58,120
Speaker 5: She wanted me to be.

661
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 4: Aware of the dangers, and of course that totally freaked

662
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,680
Speaker 4: me out, Like eight year old shouldn't be worried about rape,

663
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:05,440
Speaker 4: you know, and they don't need to know about that.

664
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:09,399
Speaker 4: But but but usually the opposite happens, where kids are

665
00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:12,080
Speaker 4: told that the stork comes.

666
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:12,960
Speaker 1: You know.

667
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:15,600
Speaker 4: It's like so BALI, it's meet your kid where they're

668
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:19,880
Speaker 4: at and if they ask a direct question, answer honestly

669
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:22,080
Speaker 4: and then see if they ask more, if they keep

670
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:25,520
Speaker 4: asking more, keep answering. But kids have an amazing way

671
00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:27,800
Speaker 4: of tapping out when they've had enough. They're like okay,

672
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:29,640
Speaker 4: and now I'm present to something else.

673
00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 1: You leave it there.

674
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:32,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm so.

675
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:34,640
Speaker 3: Happy you said that, because I think there's this constant

676
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:39,080
Speaker 3: there's this constant like ebb and flow. I don't know

677
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:42,480
Speaker 3: if that's the right word to use, but like someone

678
00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:44,719
Speaker 3: said this to me recently too, and it kind of

679
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:46,840
Speaker 3: bothered me. And I also am a cancer and I

680
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:48,839
Speaker 3: can hear one thing and I will never fucking forget it.

681
00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:54,160
Speaker 1: Watching ever.

682
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:59,319
Speaker 3: And someone was like, I'm very open and I'm very

683
00:34:59,360 --> 00:34:59,920
Speaker 3: like comfortable.

684
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 2: If I could be naked right now, I would be

685
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:04,360
Speaker 2: just be yeah, like literally like let's.

686
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:07,919
Speaker 3: Go inside and just like take a Yeah, Like that's

687
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:10,319
Speaker 3: how I feel. And I've always kind of felt that way.

688
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:11,960
Speaker 3: I don't know if that's because like I don't know

689
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:14,600
Speaker 3: my families necessarily naked all the time. It's just something

690
00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:17,239
Speaker 3: I developed and so my kids that way, and so

691
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:20,320
Speaker 3: it bothers me, Like I don't want her and obviously

692
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:24,200
Speaker 3: I know there's fucking creeps out there, there's fucking predators,

693
00:35:24,719 --> 00:35:26,480
Speaker 3: but I also don't want to be like and I

694
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:29,399
Speaker 3: tell her like stranger danger and like everybody's not your friend,

695
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:29,920
Speaker 3: all these things.

696
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:31,759
Speaker 1: But also I'm like I don't always want her to be.

697
00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:34,799
Speaker 3: Like, like me, cover upcous there's a boy here.

698
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 1: There's a cover cos there's a man here.

699
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:38,960
Speaker 3: Because I also feel like men should not be predators

700
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 3: and we shouldn't be we shouldn't be in it. We

701
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:44,319
Speaker 3: shouldn't be cultivating community where we're expecting the men to

702
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:44,920
Speaker 3: be predators.

703
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:47,920
Speaker 2: Right, if you're a predator, you're not my friend.

704
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:50,360
Speaker 1: Okay, period, Well you don't a lot of times you

705
00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:53,040
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know any problem, and that's the problem.

706
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:54,839
Speaker 2: But like you were saying, your mom had a really

707
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:56,360
Speaker 2: bad experience.

708
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 3: And she gave you too much information and then you're like, right,

709
00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:01,560
Speaker 3: everywhere you know, and kind of that can be true.

710
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:05,000
Speaker 1: There's weirdos everywhere. But I just I don't want I don't.

711
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,400
Speaker 3: Want to function from a fear based place all the time,

712
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:09,000
Speaker 3: and I don't want her to grow up from a

713
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:10,960
Speaker 3: fear based place. But one of my really close friends

714
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:13,240
Speaker 3: said to me recently, like, that's why I worry something

715
00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:17,520
Speaker 3: about Luna, because something like how I am and.

716
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:20,040
Speaker 5: I mean, that's a boundary.

717
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:24,200
Speaker 3: Sorry, And it was the conversation that was like it

718
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:26,399
Speaker 3: was like a quick comment and there's another person there

719
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:28,040
Speaker 3: and I and now that we're.

720
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:28,600
Speaker 1: Having this conversation.

721
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:33,040
Speaker 2: It's because my psycho cancerness is not letting it go.

722
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:38,080
Speaker 3: And I always have friends that have made come you know,

723
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:39,799
Speaker 3: I don't know if that's cancerness.

724
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:40,960
Speaker 5: I get pretty pissed off.

725
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do like it.

726
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 2: And even when I breastfed for a long time and

727
00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:46,200
Speaker 2: I would be the.

728
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:48,640
Speaker 3: Restaurant ordering the motherfucking meal and I'm like, oh, okay,

729
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:50,319
Speaker 3: bow and da da da da, And I.

730
00:36:50,239 --> 00:36:52,200
Speaker 2: Don't really give a fuck who's around.

731
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:53,719
Speaker 3: Because guess what, I'm going to feed my child. And

732
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:54,920
Speaker 3: if I go to the park or if I go

733
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:57,400
Speaker 3: to the church, there might be a predator. That is

734
00:36:57,520 --> 00:37:00,799
Speaker 3: just the society we live in now. Is it going

735
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:05,680
Speaker 3: to make me be like in a corner somewhere doing it. No,

736
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:08,880
Speaker 3: that's just not how I feel comfortable. But it bothered

737
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:12,200
Speaker 3: me so much that she projected her opinion her non

738
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:16,439
Speaker 3: parental kid, having asked on how I raise my kid,

739
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:18,920
Speaker 3: and I was just like, and I get it. I

740
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:20,400
Speaker 3: don't want her to think that this we're in some

741
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:23,439
Speaker 3: fucking fairy tale land and shit doesn't happen, because it does.

742
00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:25,759
Speaker 3: But I just feel like there's a time in a

743
00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:29,839
Speaker 3: space that we get there and let me like, let

744
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:33,640
Speaker 3: me give her this, let me do it, and as

745
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:36,440
Speaker 3: I see fit and I just you know, like, how

746
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 3: do you how can you really how do you navigate that?

747
00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:44,279
Speaker 3: And I appreciate you saying it's a developmental stages at

748
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:46,000
Speaker 3: which part you introduce certain.

749
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:49,280
Speaker 4: Things and different kids are different and different kids understand

750
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:52,319
Speaker 4: like some kids might be asking certain questions afore that

751
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:55,640
Speaker 4: other kids might not ask till they're epe right, you know,

752
00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:59,120
Speaker 4: And that's why it's letting them steer it. But having

753
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:01,880
Speaker 4: a symbol like this around is like cool, it just opened,

754
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:03,840
Speaker 4: like you say, it opens up the conversation.

755
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:06,439
Speaker 2: This is take your gateway. You have one, mommy has one.

756
00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:07,560
Speaker 5: Mommy has one.

757
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:12,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know that you you're a step mom. And uh,

758
00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:15,200
Speaker 1: he is, well does he he's almost nine? He's almost nine?

759
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 1: So when did he When did you introduce my little

760
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:20,200
Speaker 1: you need to him? How did you talk to him

761
00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 1: about it? Was he already like had he already been

762
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,880
Speaker 1: having this conversation? Does he know like you know about

763
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:29,759
Speaker 1: the bulba the vagina or is this something because most

764
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:32,320
Speaker 1: boys don't hear it, and I don't talk about vagina's

765
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 1: the first time guys boys hear about vagina, it's for

766
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 1: sex and like locking pleasure and porn for sex pleasure.

767
00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:42,799
Speaker 1: It's never like they like it's it's never just like

768
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:44,320
Speaker 1: these are our body parts.

769
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:46,760
Speaker 3: But that's why I think it's so important for parents

770
00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:50,799
Speaker 3: of sons listening, parents who have boys or nephews. This

771
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:53,439
Speaker 3: is like it's important for us as mothers to teach

772
00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:56,719
Speaker 3: our daughters. But I feel like it's way important that

773
00:38:56,760 --> 00:39:00,239
Speaker 3: we start these conversations equally as importantly important, if not more,

774
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:03,120
Speaker 3: because we have to undo what's been done right and

775
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:06,560
Speaker 3: it's all fucked up. But like I don't want any

776
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:08,640
Speaker 3: listeners right now to check out like, oh, this is

777
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:10,160
Speaker 3: a conversation for little girls.

778
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:13,759
Speaker 5: No, no, And you bring up a great point. Yeah,

779
00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:15,640
Speaker 5: so there's so much here.

780
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:18,120
Speaker 4: First of all, you just we're bringing up like you

781
00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:21,760
Speaker 4: know that we've mentioned this a few times, just pleasure,

782
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,040
Speaker 4: and like men are in it for pleasure. And I

783
00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:28,120
Speaker 4: would say, like, look, if women's pleasure is limited because

784
00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:32,600
Speaker 4: they're disconnected, guess what people, men's pleasure is also limited.

785
00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:35,719
Speaker 4: Like it's like the difference between making them to a

786
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:39,120
Speaker 4: cardboard box rather than like a connected partner. I mean

787
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:42,640
Speaker 4: that's a terrible analogy, but meaning it's like just because

788
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:46,239
Speaker 4: it's the norm. Like I think everyone or most of

789
00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:49,719
Speaker 4: our definition of pleasure is actually quite limited because think

790
00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:53,440
Speaker 4: about it, if one person's a bit turned on but

791
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:56,640
Speaker 4: the other one's not, like there's no word for the

792
00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 4: energy to go. So I would actually say most men,

793
00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:02,719
Speaker 4: even though we're in a culture where it's about gratifying

794
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:05,520
Speaker 4: men and all of this, most men haven't experienced the

795
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:08,120
Speaker 4: full range of their pleasure either, right, you know, like

796
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:12,319
Speaker 4: the pleasure thresholds are generally pretty.

797
00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:15,200
Speaker 1: I think, especially men, because there's so many rules about

798
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:17,879
Speaker 1: their bodies too. Yeah, so many rules on which how

799
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 1: they can use their bodies, and they use them in

800
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:22,360
Speaker 1: certain ways. Don't touch my asshole, then they're gay or

801
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:24,799
Speaker 1: that I don't like, we don't do that. I mean,

802
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:27,040
Speaker 1: we can talk about that all day, and we've talked about.

803
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:30,080
Speaker 4: That, right, But back to what you were asking also

804
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:32,640
Speaker 4: or all of us, that the kid thing and the

805
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:36,560
Speaker 4: boys and what is what is it like raising a boy?

806
00:40:36,719 --> 00:40:39,719
Speaker 4: I think, you know, for him, my little Yoni's been

807
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:42,960
Speaker 4: around most of the time he's growing up, and I

808
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,040
Speaker 4: would say it was just kind of like a like

809
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:47,080
Speaker 4: one of the other stuffed animals. It was just kind

810
00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:52,279
Speaker 4: of there and then and then it was actually when

811
00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:55,840
Speaker 4: we started making content and videos for my little Yonie.

812
00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:58,239
Speaker 4: Like one day we were filming and he just was

813
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:00,480
Speaker 4: super He like came into the studio and he's like,

814
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:03,440
Speaker 4: I have something to say, you like jumped in there

815
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:06,399
Speaker 4: and started talking about my little Yoni and like yeah,

816
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:09,719
Speaker 4: and he was just like had a whole perspective on it,

817
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:12,439
Speaker 4: and it's like and and and so this video got

818
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:15,360
Speaker 4: made and then and then I'm like, Leon, you understand

819
00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:19,320
Speaker 4: right that this is a vagina. Babies come out of vaginas,

820
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:22,440
Speaker 4: it's this and and it was just like he actually

821
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 4: hadn't connected the dot yet until that moment. But it

822
00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:28,080
Speaker 4: just was so not a big deal because when they're

823
00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:30,680
Speaker 4: young enough, it's not a big deal, like the whole

824
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:34,879
Speaker 4: like when if is it okay? Like that's that that

825
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:38,960
Speaker 4: doesn't really start until the culture sets in, which for

826
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:41,120
Speaker 4: some kids it's younger than others. Like some kids are

827
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:44,960
Speaker 4: already embarrassed starting at seven. Some kids aren't embarrassed till twelve, right,

828
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:49,279
Speaker 4: But like basically if the conversations introduced young enough is

829
00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:50,439
Speaker 4: just not a big deal.

830
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:51,080
Speaker 5: Just what it is.

831
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:53,200
Speaker 4: It's like, oh, babies come out of that area of

832
00:41:53,239 --> 00:41:56,719
Speaker 4: a woman's body is like the same as saying, oh

833
00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:59,600
Speaker 4: the sun shines bright, Like there's you.

834
00:41:59,880 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 2: Know, you're being told the truth, so you're just like,

835
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:02,680
Speaker 2: that's the truth.

836
00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:05,160
Speaker 5: That's what it is. Yeah, and kids aren't as programmed

837
00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:06,000
Speaker 5: when they're small.

838
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:10,040
Speaker 4: So it's really when when adults freak out or teenagers

839
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:14,200
Speaker 4: laugh and are embarrassed, that's because we're interacting with.

840
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:16,360
Speaker 5: These people through a layer of cultural.

841
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:20,640
Speaker 4: Programming, right, and that's what's creating this discomfort. You know,

842
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:23,839
Speaker 4: if we start young enough, it's just very matter of fact, right,

843
00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:26,680
Speaker 4: it's actually really nice. It's like and that's why we're

844
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:29,280
Speaker 4: for parents as much as kids, because it really starts

845
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 4: with parents getting more integrated and comfortable with.

846
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:35,640
Speaker 1: Their own body parts. What do you how would you like?

847
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:38,719
Speaker 1: How would you like if a mother came to you

848
00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:41,600
Speaker 1: who hadn't have this conversation it's kind of late to

849
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:45,080
Speaker 1: the party, and it's like raising a girl or a

850
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 1: boy and wants to have this conversation, wants to introduce

851
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:51,400
Speaker 1: my little yoni, Like how do you do that? Because

852
00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:53,000
Speaker 1: not how do you do it? You just do how

853
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:55,480
Speaker 1: do you just do it? But like how does that

854
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:58,600
Speaker 1: conversation start? Especially because maybe your son or daughter already

855
00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:01,880
Speaker 1: has these preconceived o of what a vagina's for mmm,

856
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:05,520
Speaker 1: and that's it, you know, like, how do you start

857
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 1: that conversation like the introduction, because some people like are

858
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:12,160
Speaker 1: listening now they probably have ten year olds eleven year olds,

859
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:15,239
Speaker 1: and they're like, shit, I didn't have this conversation. I

860
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:17,880
Speaker 1: don't know where my son or daughter is learning about

861
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 1: their vagina besides TV or what their friends are telling them,

862
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:26,920
Speaker 1: because they're they're they're learning from their parents or whatever, Like,

863
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:29,640
Speaker 1: how how do you have that? How do you start

864
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:33,440
Speaker 1: that conversation? I'm just I'm curious because I'm sure people

865
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:36,480
Speaker 1: are like listening now, like, oh God, what do I do?

866
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:39,279
Speaker 1: I Am I too late? Is it too late? Is

867
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:42,440
Speaker 1: it too late to unprogram what my child how my

868
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:45,040
Speaker 1: child views the yoni?

869
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,600
Speaker 5: I would say, it's never too late, you know.

870
00:43:48,680 --> 00:43:51,480
Speaker 4: It's like it's it's it's like wherever you start is

871
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:54,120
Speaker 4: better than not starting right at all. Right, but a

872
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:55,960
Speaker 4: lot of it it's like, Okay, depending on how old

873
00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:59,040
Speaker 4: your kid, they might be receiving education for the first time,

874
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:00,440
Speaker 4: and if it's.

875
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:01,960
Speaker 1: Really new to you, then there's going to be re

876
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:03,680
Speaker 1: education for you.

877
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:04,520
Speaker 5: I think just.

878
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:11,160
Speaker 4: Getting back to that place of even asking yourself those questions.

879
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:14,239
Speaker 4: There's a dog outside the door. She's trying to get it,

880
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:18,879
Speaker 4: and she loves you. Just getting back to that beginner's mind.

881
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:21,160
Speaker 4: I think a lot of where we get in trouble

882
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:24,120
Speaker 4: is like, well, I'm grown up. I already know, and

883
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:27,520
Speaker 4: it's like ooh wow, like just waking up to the

884
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:31,960
Speaker 4: toxic culture we've all been part of and then giving

885
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:34,359
Speaker 4: yourself a break in terms of it's okay that you

886
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:37,000
Speaker 4: don't have it all figured out right, So it's kind

887
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:40,480
Speaker 4: of like you can learn alongside of your kids actually.

888
00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:42,160
Speaker 3: Right, and as long as you realize like, Okay, maybe

889
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:43,640
Speaker 3: what I've been taught isn't the best way.

890
00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:47,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, I want something better for my Yeah.

891
00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:49,919
Speaker 2: I think a lot even with our own parents, even

892
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:50,319
Speaker 2: with this.

893
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:53,359
Speaker 3: Platform that we've like kind of like fallen into, I

894
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:58,040
Speaker 3: think our parents have had their opinions, you know, like

895
00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:00,600
Speaker 3: you don't need to talk about your shit the internet

896
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:01,359
Speaker 3: every week.

897
00:45:01,640 --> 00:45:05,560
Speaker 2: You know, there should be a limit.

898
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:07,759
Speaker 3: There should be a limit, Like you know, they come

899
00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:09,319
Speaker 3: from a generation where's like you don't put all your

900
00:45:09,320 --> 00:45:11,239
Speaker 3: shit out there. You don't talk about the issue, you

901
00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:13,120
Speaker 3: don't talk about the family secrets. You don't talk about

902
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:15,520
Speaker 3: the trauma. You don't talk about sex because that's not

903
00:45:15,719 --> 00:45:20,040
Speaker 3: ladylike and that's inappropriate. And you know, we both have

904
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:25,319
Speaker 3: become so liberated just through talking. We've both grown so

905
00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:28,400
Speaker 3: much just through talking. And I think a part of

906
00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:30,759
Speaker 3: with our parents, even when I wanted to have a

907
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 3: home birth, it's.

908
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:34,920
Speaker 2: Like, that's crazy, and it's like, just because.

909
00:45:34,680 --> 00:45:36,880
Speaker 3: You did it this way and because you've done it

910
00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:39,680
Speaker 3: that way and I'm choosing to do it differently doesn't

911
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:42,480
Speaker 3: mean I'm shaming what you've done up to this. I'm

912
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:44,400
Speaker 3: not saying you're a bad parent because of it, or

913
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:48,279
Speaker 3: you're a bad person, But recognize that I'm changing the

914
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:51,480
Speaker 3: narrative and that's okay, and it's okay to say fuck,

915
00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:54,279
Speaker 3: you know, that wasn't great, that didn't serve me.

916
00:45:54,400 --> 00:45:56,520
Speaker 2: And I'm growing and so I'm going to change it.

917
00:45:56,560 --> 00:45:58,759
Speaker 3: And I see my child doing it differently, and as

918
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:00,560
Speaker 3: a mom, I'm going to do differently.

919
00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:04,000
Speaker 2: But people have a really hard time receiving those.

920
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:07,640
Speaker 3: Messages because it for some reason, it automatically makes them

921
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:10,080
Speaker 3: feel like you're pointing a finger at them, you know,

922
00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:12,600
Speaker 3: like I had maybe a hospital and it was great, like.

923
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:15,280
Speaker 2: No, it wasn't and maybe you.

924
00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:17,360
Speaker 1: Was, but that's not what I want to do.

925
00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:20,560
Speaker 3: And because I have an I'm choosing to do it

926
00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 3: differently because I think that if I do it this way,

927
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:26,800
Speaker 3: I'll be empowered through that. Don't immediately let your first

928
00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:30,040
Speaker 3: opinion be like negative because it's not what you do.

929
00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:32,959
Speaker 3: I just encourage everybody. And I feel like this every week,

930
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:36,040
Speaker 3: even ourselves, like we talked about Christianity, like we're like

931
00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:39,560
Speaker 3: so anti religion, but we're really not. But we're spiritual,

932
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:43,520
Speaker 3: but we have we are constantly in a state of growth.

933
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:45,880
Speaker 3: We have someone who's sitting here all the time and

934
00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:49,160
Speaker 3: I'm always like sitting back and like, hmm, can I

935
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:49,759
Speaker 3: change this?

936
00:46:50,239 --> 00:46:51,719
Speaker 1: Have I gone this way? And is it?

937
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:52,319
Speaker 2: Because of that?

938
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:54,520
Speaker 3: And I just think that is so powerful to be

939
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:57,760
Speaker 3: able to shift your your thinking and continue to grow.

940
00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:01,000
Speaker 3: And that makes a huge exist ample for your kids

941
00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:03,320
Speaker 3: to be able to make change, to see that you

942
00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:03,960
Speaker 3: can change.

943
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:07,120
Speaker 1: It's okay, You're allowed to do that. It's okay to

944
00:47:07,239 --> 00:47:10,000
Speaker 1: change your mind. It's okay to learn and grow. Like

945
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:12,279
Speaker 1: like you said, like you know, me and Jamila have

946
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:17,640
Speaker 1: been like boldly I don't do religion. But then recently. Recently,

947
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:20,759
Speaker 1: I came to I had I feel like I've been

948
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:27,200
Speaker 1: called to explore my spirituality more, maybe not religion, but

949
00:47:27,239 --> 00:47:30,840
Speaker 1: maybe taking things from religion because I and I'm like,

950
00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:32,399
Speaker 1: and I've told her. I was like, I feel weird

951
00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:34,480
Speaker 1: saying this, Like I actually like I want to find

952
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:36,080
Speaker 1: a church or something to go to, and I need

953
00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:38,800
Speaker 1: a place to worship something, and like be held accounts

954
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:42,279
Speaker 1: to worship something, but just not worship something, worship my

955
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:50,640
Speaker 1: worship something within myself. Yeah yeah, not like a god, no, no,

956
00:47:51,080 --> 00:47:54,160
Speaker 1: but like and and those and I think those things.

957
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:58,959
Speaker 1: Those conversations have shifted because we talk about things and

958
00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:01,760
Speaker 1: and for like I was like a self proclaimed atheist.

959
00:48:02,040 --> 00:48:04,200
Speaker 1: Actually when my when that episode came out, Jared was like,

960
00:48:04,239 --> 00:48:05,960
Speaker 1: don't you remember in college when you would tell everybody

961
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:08,440
Speaker 1: were an atheist? I was like, I thought, I was

962
00:48:08,440 --> 00:48:10,719
Speaker 1: like I forgot about that. I was like, for real,

963
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:14,360
Speaker 1: Like my mom cried, she really did. She was like,

964
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:16,640
Speaker 1: I can't believe this, Like what how did I raise

965
00:48:16,680 --> 00:48:20,480
Speaker 1: such a like god hating child? God?

966
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:21,319
Speaker 2: I hate God.

967
00:48:21,520 --> 00:48:25,480
Speaker 5: Everything is so I'm actually indifferent. I don't think there

968
00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:28,320
Speaker 5: is right actually it just doesn't matter.

969
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:32,000
Speaker 1: But yeah, well that's I mean what you just said,

970
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:35,160
Speaker 1: Yeah we grow, Yeah we change. Yeah, me change, and

971
00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:37,880
Speaker 1: we're allowed to thank God for that ship. And it's okay.

972
00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:40,280
Speaker 1: And if you haven't had these conversations with your kids

973
00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:43,279
Speaker 1: and they're grown, maybe not maybe your kids twenty you know,

974
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:45,000
Speaker 1: I mean, give them a call. A call.

975
00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:47,320
Speaker 2: I lie, I'm sorry, I've been having guilt.

976
00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:49,080
Speaker 1: There's no stork. I helped you.

977
00:48:51,640 --> 00:48:52,279
Speaker 5: Figure it out.

978
00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:53,120
Speaker 1: I'm having.

979
00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:58,480
Speaker 3: Your kids in college are opening like things, vagina stuff, animals,

980
00:48:58,480 --> 00:48:59,480
Speaker 3: like my mom said me.

981
00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:03,000
Speaker 4: Well, it goes a reverse order too, Like I hear

982
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:05,960
Speaker 4: stories of you know, daughters who start discovering stuff for

983
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:09,000
Speaker 4: themselves and they're like, they send their mom, you know,

984
00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:13,360
Speaker 4: they send their mom education, like mom, because.

985
00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:15,239
Speaker 1: I know this is how it's going down at it

986
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:16,840
Speaker 1: and so that.

987
00:49:16,719 --> 00:49:19,600
Speaker 4: Can happen too, where it's like I mean, sometimes it

988
00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:22,040
Speaker 4: really depends obviously in the age of your kid. But

989
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:25,960
Speaker 4: that's one I'm very inspired by some of the seventeen, eighteen,

990
00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:29,280
Speaker 4: nineteen twenty year olds because like I mean, there's plenty

991
00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:32,760
Speaker 4: of issues with technology, and like there's plenty of issues,

992
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:36,719
Speaker 4: but there's also a lot of just comfort around areas

993
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:39,640
Speaker 4: like orientation is not as big of a deal as

994
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:42,480
Speaker 4: when we're growing up. I think we can learn from

995
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:47,280
Speaker 4: young people as well. Yeah, but it's so funny.

996
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:49,000
Speaker 3: Before I got here, I was in the car, in

997
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:50,760
Speaker 3: my dirty, filthy car, looking for something.

998
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:52,440
Speaker 1: But there was an intermission that came on.

999
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:55,040
Speaker 3: And I've never heard this intervention on all my iTunes

1000
00:49:55,040 --> 00:49:57,640
Speaker 3: songs before, and I think I was something you told

1001
00:49:57,680 --> 00:50:01,239
Speaker 3: me to download, like orange, something I don't know. It

1002
00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:04,720
Speaker 3: was a girl talking and she was like, as a child,

1003
00:50:05,840 --> 00:50:07,359
Speaker 3: you know, I was told to do this and do that,

1004
00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:10,839
Speaker 3: and I found myself wanting to fit in, and so

1005
00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:13,840
Speaker 3: I watered a lot of things down, and as an adult,

1006
00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:15,480
Speaker 3: I don't want to do that anymore. And then it

1007
00:50:15,600 --> 00:50:17,280
Speaker 3: just went off and I was like, that's an interesting

1008
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:19,359
Speaker 3: thing that just happened to here before I walk into

1009
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:20,480
Speaker 3: this conversation.

1010
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:23,319
Speaker 2: And now we're here having this conversation, and I.

1011
00:50:23,239 --> 00:50:23,879
Speaker 1: Think that.

1012
00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:29,400
Speaker 3: I'm encouraging people who have grown up in certain you know, households,

1013
00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:32,360
Speaker 3: or maybe religion was really prominent or whatever the whatever

1014
00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:35,840
Speaker 3: you were taught, Like sometimes you were taught things. You

1015
00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:39,040
Speaker 3: believe things because someone told you those things, Yeah, and they're.

1016
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:41,120
Speaker 1: Just simply not true or they don't work for you.

1017
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:43,879
Speaker 3: Right, more so that for you, Like maybe it works

1018
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:46,520
Speaker 3: for your mom and your grandma, but like I encourage.

1019
00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:49,680
Speaker 3: I think it's such a beautiful thing to embrace your

1020
00:50:49,719 --> 00:50:52,239
Speaker 3: own thought process, in your own mind and take that

1021
00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:54,799
Speaker 3: intermission from the car that spoke to you and that

1022
00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:56,520
Speaker 3: brief hello from that woman.

1023
00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:58,239
Speaker 1: You know, Like sometimes I'm looking around a room.

1024
00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:01,200
Speaker 3: It's very strange, and like I went to that conference

1025
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:03,799
Speaker 3: to Digital Hollywood and there was a panel of like

1026
00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:06,200
Speaker 3: podcast people, and I gave people opportunity to talk to

1027
00:51:06,239 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 3: them after and I would look at them and I'd say,

1028
00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:11,600
Speaker 3: who's speaking to me? Who am I drawn to? And

1029
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:13,560
Speaker 3: the person I'm drawn to, that's who I'll choose to

1030
00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:13,960
Speaker 3: talk to.

1031
00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:17,359
Speaker 4: You know. So you're kind of this is well, there's

1032
00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:19,560
Speaker 4: like there's so many directions we can go with all

1033
00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:22,200
Speaker 4: of this, but I want to come back to something

1034
00:51:22,239 --> 00:51:25,200
Speaker 4: you're saying, but then answer, like.

1035
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:27,520
Speaker 1: Go a little deeper with just like how to have.

1036
00:51:27,440 --> 00:51:29,600
Speaker 5: Those conversations, especially if it's new.

1037
00:51:30,120 --> 00:51:33,640
Speaker 4: So part of it is part of it is going

1038
00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:36,080
Speaker 4: to be having those conversations directly. Part of it's going

1039
00:51:36,160 --> 00:51:38,440
Speaker 4: to be learning together, and part of it. One of

1040
00:51:38,480 --> 00:51:42,160
Speaker 4: the reasons why we've created a character is it's like, okay, like,

1041
00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:45,279
Speaker 4: let this character talk to your kids a bit, you know,

1042
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:47,680
Speaker 4: check it out. If you trust it, like let that

1043
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:50,799
Speaker 4: let her begin it, because it can be a lot

1044
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:52,719
Speaker 4: to try and do it all on your own. So

1045
00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:56,160
Speaker 4: we're trying to create almost a big sister type character

1046
00:51:57,040 --> 00:52:00,480
Speaker 4: because that's like, but one that actually knows stuff, one

1047
00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:04,920
Speaker 4: that's actually like coming from a perspective that's validated by kynecologists,

1048
00:52:05,040 --> 00:52:08,839
Speaker 4: validated by sex educators, by sexologists and all of that.

1049
00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:13,400
Speaker 4: But I think that there has to be intergenerational. So

1050
00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:15,319
Speaker 4: it's like, okay, so we might be more moms than

1051
00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:18,320
Speaker 4: young kids, but we want to also bring in the

1052
00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:21,120
Speaker 4: wisdom of like the seventeen eighteen, nineteen year olds where

1053
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:25,200
Speaker 4: it's still cool, right, you know all that, And then

1054
00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:28,200
Speaker 4: you were saying, take in the inspiration. Oh man, guys,

1055
00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:28,880
Speaker 4: I lost it.

1056
00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:30,399
Speaker 1: What's the guy we do all the time?

1057
00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:34,359
Speaker 5: Do you really story of our lives? Story? Realize? Man?

1058
00:52:34,440 --> 00:52:35,360
Speaker 5: But it was really good.

1059
00:52:36,160 --> 00:52:39,000
Speaker 3: Just take into consideration that we have our own our

1060
00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:41,440
Speaker 3: own people, and you can come through people, but ultimately

1061
00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:43,359
Speaker 3: we're here on our own journeys and we'll have our

1062
00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:46,399
Speaker 3: own ideas and our own you know, concepts of how

1063
00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:49,280
Speaker 3: things work and just be open to that, like getting

1064
00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:50,680
Speaker 3: to know yourself and what you believe.

1065
00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:53,520
Speaker 4: That's it, that's it. Okay, So what you were talking

1066
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:56,120
Speaker 4: about just like following your flow. I think a lot

1067
00:52:56,160 --> 00:53:00,280
Speaker 4: of it has to do with developing that instinctual nature

1068
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:03,399
Speaker 4: and that's part of the power of the yeng ny

1069
00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:06,799
Speaker 4: or just the gut you know. It's like it's like

1070
00:53:07,760 --> 00:53:12,319
Speaker 4: we're such a mental culture. And then that's even more

1071
00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:14,840
Speaker 4: with technology like cheech and coming from.

1072
00:53:14,640 --> 00:53:15,440
Speaker 5: Stress and all that.

1073
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:18,280
Speaker 4: And I would say, like what's considered cutting night edge

1074
00:53:18,400 --> 00:53:20,840
Speaker 4: is emotional intelligence like give.

1075
00:53:20,800 --> 00:53:22,200
Speaker 5: Presence, be in your heart.

1076
00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:25,839
Speaker 4: But the real frontier from what I see as it's like, wait,

1077
00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:27,840
Speaker 4: how do we develop that instinctual nature?

1078
00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:30,600
Speaker 1: Again, that's rooted in us, that's rooted and.

1079
00:53:30,520 --> 00:53:35,120
Speaker 4: The thing is so that's so to me, sexuality, creativity,

1080
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:40,440
Speaker 4: and intuition are all very very connected. So it's like, okay,

1081
00:53:40,520 --> 00:53:44,759
Speaker 4: so maybe if you're super stressed out and disconnected, you

1082
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:45,719
Speaker 4: might not even.

1083
00:53:45,560 --> 00:53:49,160
Speaker 5: Relate to I don't know what I'm drawn to, what

1084
00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:49,920
Speaker 5: does that even mean?

1085
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:52,759
Speaker 4: So it's like, okay, before you can even connect with

1086
00:53:52,920 --> 00:53:56,680
Speaker 4: that instinctual part of yourself, you might need to go

1087
00:53:56,800 --> 00:53:59,280
Speaker 4: do a vigorous workout, you know, like there's different ways

1088
00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:02,040
Speaker 4: to clock in. You might need to go dance. You

1089
00:54:02,120 --> 00:54:04,600
Speaker 4: might need to I mean this might sound hippie, but

1090
00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:10,040
Speaker 4: take your shoes off and literally walk around on the ground.

1091
00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:11,759
Speaker 2: I called church dancing, And.

1092
00:54:11,680 --> 00:54:15,400
Speaker 3: I'm like, I can go outside naked and ground ground.

1093
00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:18,480
Speaker 4: On the tree, like And that might be one of

1094
00:54:18,480 --> 00:54:21,440
Speaker 4: the reasons though, because you're you strike me as someone's

1095
00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:24,719
Speaker 4: who's pretty connected with your body like that might mean

1096
00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:27,560
Speaker 4: that you're also more connected to that instinctual nature.

1097
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:29,880
Speaker 1: So someone isn't relating.

1098
00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:33,439
Speaker 4: To that, like to just feeling that or that being

1099
00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:36,160
Speaker 4: able to resonate. You might just need to start with

1100
00:54:36,760 --> 00:54:38,960
Speaker 4: getting into your body more. That might be the first step.

1101
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:42,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just like letting go, you know, like sometimes

1102
00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:44,160
Speaker 3: you could just dance and it doesn't matter what moves

1103
00:54:44,200 --> 00:54:46,360
Speaker 3: you're doing, you know, you just gotta like let that

1104
00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:48,120
Speaker 3: ship flow, you know.

1105
00:54:48,160 --> 00:54:49,960
Speaker 2: And some people are they're so in their heads like

1106
00:54:49,960 --> 00:54:53,000
Speaker 2: a coffee. Yeah, we're sip here, like I'm a I'm

1107
00:54:53,040 --> 00:54:54,360
Speaker 2: not good, What are we going?

1108
00:54:54,560 --> 00:54:57,000
Speaker 1: What are we doing? Right? My butt doesn't jiggle at

1109
00:54:57,040 --> 00:55:02,320
Speaker 1: her right, I know doesn't, but I'm still.

1110
00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:03,040
Speaker 5: Gonna yeah.

1111
00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:06,960
Speaker 2: For real, like that ship is therapeutic.

1112
00:55:07,040 --> 00:55:08,719
Speaker 3: That's but like for me sometimes I'd be like I

1113
00:55:08,719 --> 00:55:10,799
Speaker 3: need to go to I go to Like I feel

1114
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:13,600
Speaker 3: like church is like dancing for me, like soul music,

1115
00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:16,520
Speaker 3: soul house. I'm like, if I could just dance that shit.

1116
00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:18,680
Speaker 1: Out in the mornings. I mean, Iri, we turn the

1117
00:55:18,719 --> 00:55:20,600
Speaker 1: music on and we'll just dance in the morning. That's

1118
00:55:20,640 --> 00:55:22,520
Speaker 1: like her favorite. She'd asked me, actually asked you. She

1119
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:25,040
Speaker 1: asked me, She's like, tomorrow, Mama, when we make up,

1120
00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:28,480
Speaker 1: can we dance. I'm yes, we can. And I'm so

1121
00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:30,759
Speaker 1: glad that I that I do that with her. You know,

1122
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:35,960
Speaker 1: like it's just it's just like you just feel free.

1123
00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:37,879
Speaker 1: It's like that space, like you were saying, when women

1124
00:55:37,920 --> 00:55:40,760
Speaker 1: come together and we're dancing and the energy just flips

1125
00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:43,000
Speaker 1: and it's not for the there's no man in the room,

1126
00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:45,520
Speaker 1: and it just changes it because there's no one. You're

1127
00:55:45,560 --> 00:55:48,960
Speaker 1: not no one is trying to impress anyone, no one

1128
00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:52,080
Speaker 1: is trying to look better than the next one, exactly,

1129
00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:53,040
Speaker 1: or you know.

1130
00:55:53,040 --> 00:55:55,960
Speaker 5: It's just comparison is the killer of joy. You've heard

1131
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:56,359
Speaker 5: that one.

1132
00:55:56,520 --> 00:56:00,279
Speaker 4: Yeah, So when that leaves a space, there's so much

1133
00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:01,320
Speaker 4: more joy, right.

1134
00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:03,400
Speaker 1: And it only takes one person to kill the energy

1135
00:56:03,400 --> 00:56:05,160
Speaker 1: in the room, you know what I mean, one person

1136
00:56:05,239 --> 00:56:07,560
Speaker 1: to be like, Okay, I'm gonna dance a little sexier

1137
00:56:07,600 --> 00:56:09,319
Speaker 1: for him, and then wait, and then suddenly it's like

1138
00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:11,640
Speaker 1: a trickle down effect in some ways, like if if

1139
00:56:11,640 --> 00:56:13,880
Speaker 1: you're not grounded in who you are, but I think, I.

1140
00:56:13,840 --> 00:56:18,279
Speaker 3: Think, I think person if me and air car are

1141
00:56:18,360 --> 00:56:21,680
Speaker 3: just like fucking absolutely, and then this person who's usually

1142
00:56:21,719 --> 00:56:23,239
Speaker 3: really in her head might be like, Okay, well they

1143
00:56:23,239 --> 00:56:24,799
Speaker 3: don't even give a fuck if I'm looking at them

1144
00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:26,239
Speaker 3: or not. You know, maybe I need to just do

1145
00:56:26,280 --> 00:56:28,439
Speaker 3: the same thing. And then and it's to a point

1146
00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:31,080
Speaker 3: where I've I've been places listening to certain music, dancing

1147
00:56:31,080 --> 00:56:32,719
Speaker 3: with my eyes closed. A guy will try and come

1148
00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:36,600
Speaker 3: dance with me, and I'm like, no, like I can

1149
00:56:36,960 --> 00:56:39,720
Speaker 3: obviously I cry all the time, but like I can cry.

1150
00:56:40,960 --> 00:56:43,319
Speaker 2: You don't know, I don't cry all the time.

1151
00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:47,600
Speaker 3: I am emotional though, But there's so much power in

1152
00:56:47,640 --> 00:56:50,600
Speaker 3: connecting with your body and any and yoga. I've cried,

1153
00:56:50,800 --> 00:56:54,320
Speaker 3: you know, I've felt compelled to certain songs, certain music.

1154
00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:57,719
Speaker 3: But it's just allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to

1155
00:56:57,840 --> 00:57:00,279
Speaker 3: like let go of and and let those guards down

1156
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:03,719
Speaker 3: of what what cool looks like and what it's whatsane

1157
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:06,040
Speaker 3: looks like, because nobody's really that sane.

1158
00:57:06,760 --> 00:57:06,960
Speaker 4: You know.

1159
00:57:07,040 --> 00:57:09,279
Speaker 3: It's just like there's I don't want to so there's

1160
00:57:09,280 --> 00:57:10,920
Speaker 3: there's there's just concepts you've been taught.

1161
00:57:10,920 --> 00:57:13,319
Speaker 2: And people who are like super smart and have all

1162
00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:14,760
Speaker 2: these degrees sometimes.

1163
00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:17,440
Speaker 3: Don't have very high emotional intelligence and can't connect and

1164
00:57:17,720 --> 00:57:20,160
Speaker 3: can't let their guards down, and that is not like

1165
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:22,840
Speaker 3: a balanced thing either, you.

1166
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:25,280
Speaker 1: Know, and and even people that are because you're like

1167
00:57:25,320 --> 00:57:27,800
Speaker 1: you said, it's like this whole emotional intelligence thing is

1168
00:57:27,840 --> 00:57:29,280
Speaker 1: like that's like I don't want to say it's a trend.

1169
00:57:29,320 --> 00:57:32,600
Speaker 1: I think it's something that's very necessary. It's very necessary.

1170
00:57:32,640 --> 00:57:37,919
Speaker 1: But like what about like being rooted in what's instinctual

1171
00:57:37,960 --> 00:57:42,800
Speaker 1: in not just being emotionally intelligent, you know, that's part

1172
00:57:42,840 --> 00:57:45,720
Speaker 1: of it. I think that's I think they're two. They're one,

1173
00:57:45,880 --> 00:57:48,400
Speaker 1: they have to they're connected. If you can master both

1174
00:57:48,880 --> 00:57:52,480
Speaker 1: then even better, you know. But I think you already

1175
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:57,280
Speaker 1: we have instincts naturally. And I think again, like I've

1176
00:57:57,280 --> 00:57:59,240
Speaker 1: been saying this over and over again on every episode

1177
00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:02,760
Speaker 1: that like like this year, like I've been like called

1178
00:58:02,800 --> 00:58:06,400
Speaker 1: to really honor my instincts because whenever I go against them, yeah,

1179
00:58:06,480 --> 00:58:09,520
Speaker 1: it's not it doesn't work out, you know. And it

1180
00:58:09,640 --> 00:58:14,360
Speaker 1: always starts within my body. My body tells me every time,

1181
00:58:14,600 --> 00:58:17,560
Speaker 1: like whether I'm around someone that's like not my person,

1182
00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:19,960
Speaker 1: my body will tell me and then I'll go against it.

1183
00:58:20,160 --> 00:58:23,720
Speaker 1: And that's instinctual, you know, or like if you know,

1184
00:58:25,080 --> 00:58:28,600
Speaker 1: even like even sexually, like having sex with someone, I'm

1185
00:58:28,680 --> 00:58:30,880
Speaker 1: enjoying it, and then afterwards I don't want to cuddle

1186
00:58:30,920 --> 00:58:33,680
Speaker 1: with them. There's something disconnected there. My body's trying to

1187
00:58:33,720 --> 00:58:38,520
Speaker 1: tell me something. Even in work, like just making decisions,

1188
00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:41,920
Speaker 1: I'm not feeling like, okay, that's not Something in me

1189
00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:45,360
Speaker 1: is making me feel like stressed or worried. I don't

1190
00:58:45,440 --> 00:58:49,080
Speaker 1: and this shouldn't be that. So what is that telling me? Sustinctually,

1191
00:58:49,120 --> 00:58:51,840
Speaker 1: something's telling me that something's not in line here, and

1192
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:54,360
Speaker 1: every time I go against it, it's not right. But

1193
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:57,200
Speaker 1: it always starts with my body. And that's what I've

1194
00:58:57,240 --> 00:59:00,880
Speaker 1: noticed the most. It's not in my brain, you know,

1195
00:59:00,960 --> 00:59:05,120
Speaker 1: it's it's it's in here in my stomach really totally.

1196
00:59:05,200 --> 00:59:07,760
Speaker 5: And it's you know, it's interesting though, because.

1197
00:59:09,960 --> 00:59:12,919
Speaker 4: Chronic stress is a real thing, right, So if we're

1198
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:16,360
Speaker 4: if we're operating day to day life like tigers about

1199
00:59:16,400 --> 00:59:19,120
Speaker 4: to pounce on us, it can be really hard to

1200
00:59:19,240 --> 00:59:24,120
Speaker 4: discern to know what is an instinctual like pause and

1201
00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:26,120
Speaker 4: pay attention versus just stress.

1202
00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:28,680
Speaker 2: How we're always living running the mug.

1203
00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:32,240
Speaker 4: And so that's where that's where bringing in we're talking

1204
00:59:32,240 --> 00:59:35,520
Speaker 4: about connecting your body, but bringing in pleasure as a

1205
00:59:35,560 --> 00:59:39,280
Speaker 4: practice is so important, Like you can't be experiencing pleasure

1206
00:59:40,080 --> 00:59:42,200
Speaker 4: and be stressed out at the same time, So.

1207
00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:43,720
Speaker 5: Pleasure is the top.

1208
00:59:44,480 --> 00:59:48,320
Speaker 4: Pleasure and laughter are probably the top tools for developing

1209
00:59:48,360 --> 00:59:49,440
Speaker 4: that instinctual nature.

1210
00:59:50,240 --> 00:59:51,360
Speaker 5: You know you're saying you can't.

1211
00:59:51,480 --> 00:59:53,960
Speaker 4: You can't be stressed out and be experiencing pleasure at

1212
00:59:53,960 --> 00:59:56,800
Speaker 4: the same time. And it can get more complicated when

1213
00:59:56,800 --> 00:59:59,840
Speaker 4: it brings when other people start stepping intoto the picture.

1214
01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:02,840
Speaker 4: And so that's why I call it. You know, self

1215
01:00:02,880 --> 01:00:05,720
Speaker 4: love can be really abstract, but that's why I say

1216
01:00:05,760 --> 01:00:09,560
Speaker 4: self lovership, like starting to treat yourself like your own

1217
01:00:09,680 --> 01:00:13,200
Speaker 4: lover that grounds it in the body because it's not

1218
01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:16,600
Speaker 4: just like, ah, I love myself, which great, but you

1219
01:00:16,640 --> 01:00:20,280
Speaker 4: know it are you that could just be disconnected versus

1220
01:00:20,760 --> 01:00:24,120
Speaker 4: I'm taking a bath right now. And I am stroking

1221
01:00:24,200 --> 01:00:30,720
Speaker 4: my body and I am taking tangible physical steps of

1222
01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:34,080
Speaker 4: honoring myself and connecting with my pleasure. That's that's different,

1223
01:00:34,680 --> 01:00:37,080
Speaker 4: and that is going to help you know the difference

1224
01:00:37,080 --> 01:00:40,880
Speaker 4: between like a true instinct versus just a fear based reaction.

1225
01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:45,600
Speaker 1: I have a question, so, starting my little yoni, what

1226
01:00:45,600 --> 01:00:48,840
Speaker 1: what was your journey into Like you said your mom

1227
01:00:48,880 --> 01:00:52,960
Speaker 1: was an overshare in ways, how did you, like did

1228
01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:57,000
Speaker 1: you where have you always been connected to you know,

1229
01:00:57,440 --> 01:01:01,800
Speaker 1: your own pleasure and your yoni and all those things,

1230
01:01:01,800 --> 01:01:03,120
Speaker 1: Like what was your journey there?

1231
01:01:03,680 --> 01:01:03,840
Speaker 2: Was it?

1232
01:01:03,920 --> 01:01:06,080
Speaker 1: Something like did it what did not happen till you

1233
01:01:06,080 --> 01:01:10,360
Speaker 1: were an adult or were you a teenager that.

1234
01:01:10,480 --> 01:01:14,520
Speaker 3: You felt inclined to this work because you felt yeah, yeah,

1235
01:01:14,560 --> 01:01:15,440
Speaker 3: that's a good question.

1236
01:01:15,560 --> 01:01:16,480
Speaker 1: So I would say that.

1237
01:01:18,080 --> 01:01:23,200
Speaker 4: Because I was always aware of just the the shadow part.

1238
01:01:23,640 --> 01:01:23,840
Speaker 1: You know.

1239
01:01:23,880 --> 01:01:25,920
Speaker 4: It's like it's like I was always aware of what

1240
01:01:26,120 --> 01:01:30,040
Speaker 4: was messed up. So on one hand, that that that

1241
01:01:30,240 --> 01:01:31,920
Speaker 4: just made me. I was aware of the problem, so

1242
01:01:31,960 --> 01:01:35,160
Speaker 4: I always wanted to help fix the problem, you know.

1243
01:01:35,360 --> 01:01:36,960
Speaker 5: I was like, I didn't.

1244
01:01:36,760 --> 01:01:38,600
Speaker 4: Even consider the fact that I was a kid and

1245
01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:40,920
Speaker 4: I shouldn't be burdened with that stuff. I just always

1246
01:01:40,920 --> 01:01:42,680
Speaker 4: wanted to help fix the problem, so that was always

1247
01:01:42,720 --> 01:01:46,680
Speaker 4: somewhat present. What was good about knowing stuff is I

1248
01:01:46,720 --> 01:01:49,040
Speaker 4: always felt very much in charge of myself, like you're

1249
01:01:49,080 --> 01:01:52,680
Speaker 4: not gonna fuck with me. So, you know, the first

1250
01:01:52,760 --> 01:01:55,240
Speaker 4: time I had sex, it was I actually thought this

1251
01:01:55,400 --> 01:01:59,240
Speaker 4: wasn't my language in my fifteen year old brain, but

1252
01:01:59,720 --> 01:02:03,439
Speaker 4: it was an initiation I gave myself like, I very

1253
01:02:03,800 --> 01:02:04,280
Speaker 4: like it was.

1254
01:02:04,880 --> 01:02:06,520
Speaker 5: I was in charge of that experience.

1255
01:02:06,840 --> 01:02:10,040
Speaker 4: You know. Was it full of pleasure? No, But I

1256
01:02:10,120 --> 01:02:11,880
Speaker 4: was like I was curious. I was like, I'm ready

1257
01:02:11,880 --> 01:02:14,160
Speaker 4: for this. I had that experience, and then I didn't

1258
01:02:14,200 --> 01:02:16,520
Speaker 4: do that again. For like, I didn't have sex again

1259
01:02:16,560 --> 01:02:19,880
Speaker 4: for probably two years, which even.

1260
01:02:19,680 --> 01:02:21,000
Speaker 1: That was like amazing.

1261
01:02:21,120 --> 01:02:23,160
Speaker 5: A lot of a lot of girls once they start,

1262
01:02:23,200 --> 01:02:25,840
Speaker 5: they feel obligated. For me, he was like, no, I

1263
01:02:25,840 --> 01:02:26,480
Speaker 5: wanted to do that.

1264
01:02:26,560 --> 01:02:29,960
Speaker 4: Great, I had that experience, and now I'm doing other

1265
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:33,840
Speaker 4: things for a while. Like So in terms of so,

1266
01:02:33,880 --> 01:02:37,560
Speaker 4: I would say like I felt very in charge of

1267
01:02:37,600 --> 01:02:41,240
Speaker 4: my own body and my own experience. But I was

1268
01:02:41,320 --> 01:02:44,760
Speaker 4: also I was a bit like a dude. Honestly, that

1269
01:02:44,800 --> 01:02:48,600
Speaker 4: doesn't mean I was deeply sensual like connected.

1270
01:02:48,120 --> 01:02:49,000
Speaker 1: To my feelings.

1271
01:02:49,560 --> 01:02:51,840
Speaker 4: I was more like I'm gonna do what I want

1272
01:02:51,880 --> 01:02:54,560
Speaker 4: to do when I went to do it, but it

1273
01:02:54,640 --> 01:02:58,120
Speaker 4: wasn't until I was nineteen, and I was it was

1274
01:02:58,200 --> 01:03:00,720
Speaker 4: the first time I was in love in a deep partnership,

1275
01:03:01,360 --> 01:03:03,960
Speaker 4: and it was we didn't even know what we were

1276
01:03:03,960 --> 01:03:05,960
Speaker 4: tapping into. Because here's the thing you guys have talked

1277
01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:10,480
Speaker 4: about solo sex manifestation or masturbation manifestation.

1278
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:14,040
Speaker 5: Or whatever, Like sexual energy is extremely powerful. It can

1279
01:03:14,120 --> 01:03:15,160
Speaker 5: be you know.

1280
01:03:15,240 --> 01:03:18,440
Speaker 4: So with my with that first significant partner when we

1281
01:03:18,440 --> 01:03:20,560
Speaker 4: were nineteen, I mean, we would be making love and

1282
01:03:20,600 --> 01:03:23,440
Speaker 4: it was it was full on sexual healing. Remember one

1283
01:03:23,480 --> 01:03:25,520
Speaker 4: time we were making love and all of a sudden,

1284
01:03:27,480 --> 01:03:30,439
Speaker 4: I felt like I was inside my mom's body when

1285
01:03:30,440 --> 01:03:34,040
Speaker 4: she was thirteen, inside the bedroom where the abuse was happening.

1286
01:03:34,040 --> 01:03:36,080
Speaker 4: Like I was just like in the scene. And she

1287
01:03:36,160 --> 01:03:38,560
Speaker 4: had never talked to me about it because she was dissociated.

1288
01:03:38,600 --> 01:03:42,040
Speaker 4: She told me about other things, but she was she

1289
01:03:42,160 --> 01:03:47,080
Speaker 4: was actually blocked around that, like the very the precise details.

1290
01:03:47,520 --> 01:03:50,200
Speaker 4: So here I am making love with my partner and

1291
01:03:50,200 --> 01:03:53,120
Speaker 4: then all of a sudden, I'm like in this scene

1292
01:03:53,240 --> 01:03:56,720
Speaker 4: and it wasn't like crystal detail. But luckily, like we

1293
01:03:56,760 --> 01:03:58,320
Speaker 4: didn't know what we were doing. It's not like we

1294
01:03:58,360 --> 01:04:02,640
Speaker 4: were studying tantra or anything. Happened because our hearts were

1295
01:04:02,640 --> 01:04:06,600
Speaker 4: so open and the energy was powerful and anyways, luckily,

1296
01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:11,000
Speaker 4: like I just told him basically, just stay present with me.

1297
01:04:11,800 --> 01:04:12,160
Speaker 1: That's all.

1298
01:04:12,200 --> 01:04:15,560
Speaker 4: I had enough gumption to say that, and then I

1299
01:04:15,760 --> 01:04:19,960
Speaker 4: just like screamed, what bloody murder, and like cleared a

1300
01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:21,320
Speaker 4: lot of that trauma.

1301
01:04:21,920 --> 01:04:22,200
Speaker 1: Wow.

1302
01:04:22,880 --> 01:04:24,800
Speaker 4: And I mean, so that was one of my first

1303
01:04:24,880 --> 01:04:27,720
Speaker 4: experiences of let's call it sexual healing. And it just

1304
01:04:27,760 --> 01:04:31,560
Speaker 4: happened spontaneously, and thank god he loved me. He had

1305
01:04:31,560 --> 01:04:33,480
Speaker 4: no idea what was going on. Thank God he loved

1306
01:04:33,480 --> 01:04:37,200
Speaker 4: me enough to just stay present because it was probably scary. Yeah, right,

1307
01:04:37,680 --> 01:04:41,720
Speaker 4: But I would say around that age is when things

1308
01:04:41,720 --> 01:04:44,600
Speaker 4: started opening up of like okay, like this is more

1309
01:04:44,680 --> 01:04:50,840
Speaker 4: than just erotic fun. This can be deeply healing, transformative.

1310
01:04:51,200 --> 01:04:55,040
Speaker 4: You've talked about multi generational Trauma's real it was like

1311
01:04:55,040 --> 01:04:57,680
Speaker 4: my mom and I never even had that conversation.

1312
01:04:58,480 --> 01:05:01,520
Speaker 1: Like when you say like it was for you, do

1313
01:05:01,560 --> 01:05:04,640
Speaker 1: you think that your mother, like, because we have talked

1314
01:05:04,680 --> 01:05:06,920
Speaker 1: about generational trauma and like you pass things through and

1315
01:05:06,960 --> 01:05:08,800
Speaker 1: all that all that trauma that your mom had and

1316
01:05:08,840 --> 01:05:13,720
Speaker 1: carried and then being pregnant with you almost like passing

1317
01:05:13,720 --> 01:05:18,640
Speaker 1: it on in some ways, it's literally because for you

1318
01:05:18,680 --> 01:05:20,960
Speaker 1: to be able to tap into that and could be

1319
01:05:21,160 --> 01:05:24,200
Speaker 1: there with her, that's that's proof of that. Yeah.

1320
01:05:24,480 --> 01:05:27,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I love that science finally with epigenetics

1321
01:05:27,720 --> 01:05:32,560
Speaker 4: is starting to prove what I mean, Vanic cultures have

1322
01:05:32,640 --> 01:05:35,760
Speaker 4: always known, you know, and like intuitively, like you're saying,

1323
01:05:35,880 --> 01:05:39,800
Speaker 4: like we it's so clear that stuff is passed down.

1324
01:05:40,280 --> 01:05:43,320
Speaker 4: I mean, that's why, like in my own family, the

1325
01:05:43,360 --> 01:05:45,720
Speaker 4: reason my mom went through that is because her mom

1326
01:05:45,760 --> 01:05:47,720
Speaker 4: went through that, you know what I mean.

1327
01:05:47,840 --> 01:05:49,400
Speaker 5: And so with my mom, I I.

1328
01:05:51,080 --> 01:05:54,560
Speaker 4: Give gratitude every day that even though she passed on

1329
01:05:54,760 --> 01:05:57,800
Speaker 4: some stuff, you know, like in terms of the story

1330
01:05:57,840 --> 01:06:01,120
Speaker 4: and psychologically, she did enough work on her self to

1331
01:06:01,120 --> 01:06:02,520
Speaker 4: marry a really good guy.

1332
01:06:02,920 --> 01:06:04,840
Speaker 5: You know what I mean. So it's like like so

1333
01:06:04,880 --> 01:06:07,440
Speaker 5: she she like broke she she.

1334
01:06:07,480 --> 01:06:11,640
Speaker 4: Basically she broke the pattern, and I kind of have

1335
01:06:11,760 --> 01:06:14,360
Speaker 4: had to complete that, complete it, complete it. But I

1336
01:06:14,360 --> 01:06:17,320
Speaker 4: think so much of our generation is like wait, like

1337
01:06:17,800 --> 01:06:20,760
Speaker 4: it stops with us, like we're not going to pass

1338
01:06:20,800 --> 01:06:23,160
Speaker 4: this to our kids in the same way, right, you know,

1339
01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:26,360
Speaker 4: And whether we're talking about you know, the sexual trauma

1340
01:06:26,960 --> 01:06:29,480
Speaker 4: or the you know, there's so many different layers of trauma.

1341
01:06:29,480 --> 01:06:32,439
Speaker 5: Obviously, race trauma is huge, huge, huge. It's like, how

1342
01:06:32,480 --> 01:06:32,919
Speaker 5: do we.

1343
01:06:34,600 --> 01:06:38,040
Speaker 4: Clearly it's not working, Like if it was working, we

1344
01:06:38,080 --> 01:06:41,400
Speaker 4: wouldn't be seeing the results that we're seeing. So I

1345
01:06:41,480 --> 01:06:44,320
Speaker 4: really appreciate that you guys are having these conversations and

1346
01:06:44,400 --> 01:06:49,120
Speaker 4: like putting a stuff to it. But so so anyways, yeah,

1347
01:06:49,120 --> 01:06:52,200
Speaker 4: but with my mom, like we never had a conversation

1348
01:06:52,240 --> 01:06:54,560
Speaker 4: about that, but about but I knew. I knew it

1349
01:06:54,600 --> 01:06:57,240
Speaker 4: was healing for me, and I suspected it was also

1350
01:06:57,360 --> 01:06:58,000
Speaker 4: healing for her.

1351
01:06:58,160 --> 01:07:01,400
Speaker 1: I wondered that, like I wonder that in some capathy

1352
01:07:01,400 --> 01:07:02,960
Speaker 1: did you have Did you ever share this story with her?

1353
01:07:03,080 --> 01:07:05,480
Speaker 4: I never shared the story with her but about a

1354
01:07:05,560 --> 01:07:09,040
Speaker 4: year after that experience, so I was like twenty at

1355
01:07:09,040 --> 01:07:09,400
Speaker 4: that time.

1356
01:07:09,480 --> 01:07:10,640
Speaker 1: We were on a walk.

1357
01:07:11,360 --> 01:07:16,520
Speaker 4: And she said, you know what, when I always felt

1358
01:07:16,560 --> 01:07:20,040
Speaker 4: like a failure when it came, when I always felt

1359
01:07:20,080 --> 01:07:22,520
Speaker 4: like your birth was a failure, Like I felt like

1360
01:07:22,560 --> 01:07:26,120
Speaker 4: a failure because I expected your birth to heal me.

1361
01:07:27,200 --> 01:07:31,200
Speaker 4: I expected your birth to heal my sexual trauma, like

1362
01:07:31,280 --> 01:07:34,320
Speaker 4: basically while you were coming out of my yoni, and

1363
01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:37,880
Speaker 4: then it resulted in a C section, and so I

1364
01:07:37,920 --> 01:07:40,600
Speaker 4: felt like, oh my god, I missed this major opportunity

1365
01:07:40,720 --> 01:07:44,360
Speaker 4: for healing. And what I found interesting about that is

1366
01:07:44,400 --> 01:07:47,800
Speaker 4: her just having that to be able to say that,

1367
01:07:47,960 --> 01:07:50,160
Speaker 4: like we'd never talked about that at all, and for

1368
01:07:50,200 --> 01:07:54,560
Speaker 4: her to be able to admit that, and to be

1369
01:07:54,640 --> 01:07:58,800
Speaker 4: able to admit that she had been putting inappropriate expectations

1370
01:07:58,840 --> 01:08:02,280
Speaker 4: on her child, like look, we're the mothers, Like, yes,

1371
01:08:02,360 --> 01:08:05,960
Speaker 4: of course it's a it can be a healing relationship,

1372
01:08:05,960 --> 01:08:09,440
Speaker 4: but we should never expect our child to do like

1373
01:08:09,480 --> 01:08:11,600
Speaker 4: we need to do our own work right, right, So

1374
01:08:11,720 --> 01:08:14,840
Speaker 4: for her to even admit, like, wow, I had this

1375
01:08:15,480 --> 01:08:18,680
Speaker 4: expectation on you, even as an infant infant to heal me,

1376
01:08:19,200 --> 01:08:20,880
Speaker 4: like I don't know if that makes sense, but it

1377
01:08:20,920 --> 01:08:22,000
Speaker 4: was quite a moment.

1378
01:08:21,720 --> 01:08:25,439
Speaker 5: Of like cool, like you're in your seat, I'm in

1379
01:08:25,479 --> 01:08:28,920
Speaker 5: my seat. I'm responsible for my I'm responsible for my shit.

1380
01:08:29,080 --> 01:08:31,160
Speaker 5: You're responsible for your shit like love you.

1381
01:08:31,360 --> 01:08:36,559
Speaker 1: And boundaries, right, I mean, I'm sure. I mean, children

1382
01:08:36,600 --> 01:08:38,600
Speaker 1: are healing regardless of whether they come out of your

1383
01:08:38,680 --> 01:08:40,640
Speaker 1: vagina or not. I mean you've probably healed her in

1384
01:08:40,640 --> 01:08:42,640
Speaker 1: ways that you probably aren't even aware of. Because I

1385
01:08:42,800 --> 01:08:45,920
Speaker 1: realized that Iri heals me in ways and has saved

1386
01:08:45,960 --> 01:08:48,360
Speaker 1: me in so many ways that she has no clue.

1387
01:08:48,439 --> 01:08:49,439
Speaker 1: She's just being iri.

1388
01:08:49,800 --> 01:08:53,639
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly so, but that's the that's the right way

1389
01:08:53,840 --> 01:08:58,320
Speaker 4: I would say. It's just naturally happened. Yeah, So that's

1390
01:08:58,360 --> 01:09:02,639
Speaker 4: some of the early journey. And then when I was nineteen,

1391
01:09:02,680 --> 01:09:04,760
Speaker 4: my partner at that time, we were so young, but

1392
01:09:04,840 --> 01:09:08,400
Speaker 4: we deliberately got pregnant and then it was a and

1393
01:09:08,439 --> 01:09:12,040
Speaker 4: then it was kind of a malpractice situation where the

1394
01:09:12,040 --> 01:09:15,439
Speaker 4: birthing center said it was a normal pregnancy and it wasn't.

1395
01:09:15,600 --> 01:09:17,639
Speaker 5: It was up topic and it was in my tube.

1396
01:09:17,720 --> 01:09:20,720
Speaker 5: So my helping tube ruptured.

1397
01:09:20,880 --> 01:09:23,160
Speaker 4: And again I said, I was kind of like a

1398
01:09:23,760 --> 01:09:27,160
Speaker 4: kind of kind of like a dude like earlier in life,

1399
01:09:27,760 --> 01:09:31,160
Speaker 4: and and I was like I called and I said,

1400
01:09:31,200 --> 01:09:31,919
Speaker 4: what's happening?

1401
01:09:32,000 --> 01:09:34,000
Speaker 5: And they said you might be miscurring. I said, I

1402
01:09:34,120 --> 01:09:36,400
Speaker 5: don't want to. What do I do? They said, bed rest?

1403
01:09:36,400 --> 01:09:37,360
Speaker 5: So I stayed home.

1404
01:09:37,200 --> 01:09:40,080
Speaker 1: For two days shit bleeding, and then.

1405
01:09:40,040 --> 01:09:42,000
Speaker 4: Finally went in and it was like it was so

1406
01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:45,200
Speaker 4: so close, you know, emergency surgery, the whole thing. But

1407
01:09:45,320 --> 01:09:49,720
Speaker 4: that experience, that's really what started me on the path. Yeah,

1408
01:09:49,800 --> 01:09:51,840
Speaker 4: that same age around twenty because I was like, oh

1409
01:09:51,840 --> 01:09:55,200
Speaker 4: my god, I need to become a woman. I need

1410
01:09:55,200 --> 01:09:59,439
Speaker 4: to connect to myself centrally, emotionally, Like if my body's

1411
01:09:59,439 --> 01:10:00,320
Speaker 4: speaking me.

1412
01:10:01,320 --> 01:10:03,080
Speaker 5: I can't I can't let it.

1413
01:10:03,680 --> 01:10:05,679
Speaker 4: I can't just be like no, but I want this.

1414
01:10:05,840 --> 01:10:09,960
Speaker 4: And like literally I almost killed myself doing that. So

1415
01:10:10,000 --> 01:10:12,600
Speaker 4: that that was like a very intense experience at a

1416
01:10:12,640 --> 01:10:15,120
Speaker 4: young age. But it also really cracked me up into

1417
01:10:15,120 --> 01:10:17,120
Speaker 4: my mother's self because I experienced the loss of a

1418
01:10:17,160 --> 01:10:20,519
Speaker 4: mother because that wasn't you know, we planned for it,

1419
01:10:20,560 --> 01:10:23,920
Speaker 4: we wanted that. So it's like, in a strange way,

1420
01:10:24,040 --> 01:10:28,599
Speaker 4: I got to experience the grief of a mom on

1421
01:10:28,640 --> 01:10:30,479
Speaker 4: a level and then at the same time be a

1422
01:10:30,520 --> 01:10:33,920
Speaker 4: really young person without the responsibility of having a kid,

1423
01:10:33,920 --> 01:10:36,400
Speaker 4: and I got to turn all of that towards myself

1424
01:10:37,160 --> 01:10:37,960
Speaker 4: and my own healing.

1425
01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:40,200
Speaker 5: So that's kind of some of where it started.

1426
01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:44,200
Speaker 4: But it's like sometimes it takes an extreme experience to

1427
01:10:44,280 --> 01:10:44,840
Speaker 4: wake you up.

1428
01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:47,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't such doing or pathing a purpose for

1429
01:10:47,800 --> 01:10:53,920
Speaker 1: yuh absolutely, Yeah. What would you say, like if you

1430
01:10:54,080 --> 01:10:57,000
Speaker 1: had my little Yoni as a kid, would it Would

1431
01:10:57,040 --> 01:10:59,439
Speaker 1: it have changed anything for you? I mean, because did

1432
01:10:59,479 --> 01:11:03,840
Speaker 1: your mom have conversations about your Yoni as a kid,

1433
01:11:04,240 --> 01:11:05,559
Speaker 1: you just kind of had to figure it out on

1434
01:11:05,560 --> 01:11:07,599
Speaker 1: your own. I mean you obviously still if you felt

1435
01:11:07,600 --> 01:11:10,120
Speaker 1: empowered and you didn't you like when you did have

1436
01:11:10,200 --> 01:11:12,400
Speaker 1: sex and when you did in that way like you

1437
01:11:12,800 --> 01:11:14,800
Speaker 1: it was on your terms. But as far as the

1438
01:11:14,920 --> 01:11:18,280
Speaker 1: education on just connecting with yourself outside of sex, like

1439
01:11:18,600 --> 01:11:20,760
Speaker 1: did she actually never really had those conversations with you?

1440
01:11:20,840 --> 01:11:21,000
Speaker 4: Then?

1441
01:11:21,560 --> 01:11:21,720
Speaker 1: No?

1442
01:11:21,840 --> 01:11:23,880
Speaker 4: It was like similar to what you guys are saying,

1443
01:11:23,880 --> 01:11:25,200
Speaker 4: it was pretty fear based.

1444
01:11:25,600 --> 01:11:27,760
Speaker 1: You know. I would say.

1445
01:11:27,760 --> 01:11:29,640
Speaker 5: What it would have changed if my little Yoni had

1446
01:11:29,680 --> 01:11:30,960
Speaker 5: existed when I was a kid.

1447
01:11:32,320 --> 01:11:36,120
Speaker 4: I wouldn't have felt ashamed when I first started self pleasuring,

1448
01:11:36,760 --> 01:11:39,479
Speaker 4: you know, because I did. I started, I started master

1449
01:11:39,560 --> 01:11:41,599
Speaker 4: meeting and I tried to say self pleasure to like

1450
01:11:41,760 --> 01:11:46,519
Speaker 4: give new terms. But I first started touching my yoni

1451
01:11:46,680 --> 01:11:49,719
Speaker 4: probably when I was nine or ten. And even though

1452
01:11:49,880 --> 01:11:52,679
Speaker 4: at least I did it, because a lot of people

1453
01:11:52,760 --> 01:11:55,200
Speaker 4: are so ashamed they never even do it, and then

1454
01:11:55,200 --> 01:11:57,040
Speaker 4: they come to me at forty and they're like, I've

1455
01:11:57,080 --> 01:12:01,720
Speaker 4: never how do I choose? Yeah, but I definitely still

1456
01:12:01,760 --> 01:12:04,000
Speaker 4: felt a shame, you know, like I would do it,

1457
01:12:04,040 --> 01:12:06,519
Speaker 4: but it would still be like quick and quiet and

1458
01:12:06,560 --> 01:12:09,080
Speaker 4: like it never felt like there was space for it.

1459
01:12:09,320 --> 01:12:12,160
Speaker 4: It didn't feel like mine. It was like something I

1460
01:12:12,200 --> 01:12:14,080
Speaker 4: had to explore on the edges.

1461
01:12:14,080 --> 01:12:16,400
Speaker 2: Some secret other part of you.

1462
01:12:16,720 --> 01:12:22,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, as opposed to this fundamental message that you belong

1463
01:12:22,400 --> 01:12:26,400
Speaker 4: to you, your yoni belongs to you, you know. I

1464
01:12:26,479 --> 01:12:29,160
Speaker 4: was like that, that's one of the first that's one

1465
01:12:29,160 --> 01:12:32,800
Speaker 4: of the first mantras I'll have I'll have women say.

1466
01:12:32,840 --> 01:12:36,519
Speaker 4: And it's like something that simple can be deeply touching

1467
01:12:36,640 --> 01:12:40,120
Speaker 4: to put your hands on your womb and either look

1468
01:12:40,120 --> 01:12:43,000
Speaker 4: in the mirror, close your eyes, and to say to yourself,

1469
01:12:43,280 --> 01:12:44,320
Speaker 4: I belonged to me.

1470
01:12:45,600 --> 01:12:50,280
Speaker 2: I belong to me, to me, I belonged to me, to.

1471
01:12:50,240 --> 01:12:55,439
Speaker 4: Me, And something that simple, it's like that, something that

1472
01:12:55,560 --> 01:13:01,200
Speaker 4: simple actually goes against the whole grain of what we're taught.

1473
01:13:01,240 --> 01:13:03,320
Speaker 4: It means to you know, to be a daughter. It's

1474
01:13:03,360 --> 01:13:06,120
Speaker 4: like you go from being a daughter to a girlfriend, to.

1475
01:13:06,080 --> 01:13:08,800
Speaker 1: A mother, to a wife. Yeah, all of that.

1476
01:13:09,439 --> 01:13:11,400
Speaker 4: But to answer your question, yeah, it would it would

1477
01:13:11,439 --> 01:13:14,439
Speaker 4: have the shame would have there wouldn't have been the shame,

1478
01:13:14,720 --> 01:13:14,880
Speaker 4: you know.

1479
01:13:14,920 --> 01:13:17,840
Speaker 5: And that's why, like in the superhero.

1480
01:13:17,479 --> 01:13:21,160
Speaker 4: Narrative, Mile Leonie's nemesis is the shame monsters.

1481
01:13:22,920 --> 01:13:25,599
Speaker 5: She's here to smash the shames out.

1482
01:13:25,400 --> 01:13:27,599
Speaker 4: Of that and bring in that pleasure and self love

1483
01:13:27,680 --> 01:13:30,559
Speaker 4: and it's like, you know, it's like it's a.

1484
01:13:32,760 --> 01:13:33,599
Speaker 5: It really is.

1485
01:13:34,160 --> 01:13:36,679
Speaker 4: I mean to me, that's at the at this stage

1486
01:13:36,720 --> 01:13:39,960
Speaker 4: in my life, that's my flavor of activism, is like

1487
01:13:40,400 --> 01:13:44,920
Speaker 4: bringing the kind of art and humor and education that

1488
01:13:45,040 --> 01:13:49,400
Speaker 4: can actually get that message across, you know, because if

1489
01:13:49,439 --> 01:13:52,920
Speaker 4: I'm attacking people, they're not going to be receptive. But

1490
01:13:53,000 --> 01:13:55,519
Speaker 4: if Milo Leoni can be like, hey, get you laughing,

1491
01:13:55,640 --> 01:13:59,719
Speaker 4: and while you're laughing, like say fine.

1492
01:13:59,520 --> 01:14:01,000
Speaker 1: If any bad get in your couch.

1493
01:14:01,760 --> 01:14:02,800
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1494
01:14:03,560 --> 01:14:04,400
Speaker 1: That I love that.

1495
01:14:04,720 --> 01:14:08,080
Speaker 3: I'm so grateful, Like every time you have someone someone here,

1496
01:14:08,120 --> 01:14:10,760
Speaker 3: it's just like what you said about community and about

1497
01:14:10,760 --> 01:14:13,680
Speaker 3: the tribe and about like how powerful, how powerful we

1498
01:14:13,720 --> 01:14:15,840
Speaker 3: are as women when we come together and we like

1499
01:14:16,160 --> 01:14:18,800
Speaker 3: honor each other, Like I can you say things and

1500
01:14:18,840 --> 01:14:21,200
Speaker 3: there's so many things I can identify with and certain

1501
01:14:21,240 --> 01:14:23,360
Speaker 3: things that I may have not thought about and I'm like, damn,

1502
01:14:23,479 --> 01:14:24,599
Speaker 3: I'm thinking about that.

1503
01:14:24,560 --> 01:14:27,040
Speaker 2: Or you know, just so there's so many there's so

1504
01:14:27,439 --> 01:14:28,640
Speaker 2: much power.

1505
01:14:28,360 --> 01:14:33,040
Speaker 3: And just having conversation and I'm just I'm so grateful.

1506
01:14:33,080 --> 01:14:35,160
Speaker 3: I'm so grateful for you, Erica. I'm so grateful, for

1507
01:14:35,160 --> 01:14:37,920
Speaker 3: you for being here. I don't believe that anything happens

1508
01:14:38,479 --> 01:14:40,559
Speaker 3: for the fuck of it. I think everything's a divine,

1509
01:14:40,880 --> 01:14:47,240
Speaker 3: divine meeting and divine you know, like witchy shit. Absolutely,

1510
01:14:47,600 --> 01:14:50,719
Speaker 3: and I'm just so amazing to like meet a woman

1511
01:14:50,840 --> 01:14:53,800
Speaker 3: like you that you've made this amazing thing to help

1512
01:14:53,840 --> 01:14:59,040
Speaker 3: facilitate teaching our daughters and boys and our sons, just

1513
01:14:59,080 --> 01:15:02,000
Speaker 3: to change the new it. And like I like, who

1514
01:15:02,080 --> 01:15:05,759
Speaker 3: knew the podcast world needed a podcast like Good Mom's

1515
01:15:05,800 --> 01:15:10,800
Speaker 3: Bad Choices? Who knew the world of toys needed my

1516
01:15:10,880 --> 01:15:11,479
Speaker 3: Little Yoni?

1517
01:15:11,600 --> 01:15:11,800
Speaker 1: You know?

1518
01:15:11,920 --> 01:15:14,240
Speaker 3: But like you have dreams and then you start that

1519
01:15:14,280 --> 01:15:16,160
Speaker 3: ship and then you literally do it, and then you

1520
01:15:16,240 --> 01:15:19,080
Speaker 3: realize how important your work is and you cross paths

1521
01:15:19,080 --> 01:15:25,479
Speaker 3: with other women doing like outrageous trail bridlazing things and yes, yes,

1522
01:15:26,080 --> 01:15:28,479
Speaker 3: yes to all this feminine power and energy.

1523
01:15:28,520 --> 01:15:31,800
Speaker 1: And I'm I'm just so grateful and happy. Yeah you too,

1524
01:15:32,120 --> 01:15:34,120
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Thank you so much for me

1525
01:15:34,160 --> 01:15:36,160
Speaker 1: taking time and coming to chat chat with us.

1526
01:15:36,439 --> 01:15:37,160
Speaker 5: Absolutely.

1527
01:15:37,760 --> 01:15:39,760
Speaker 1: Can you tell our listeners where they can find you

1528
01:15:40,120 --> 01:15:40,960
Speaker 1: and where.

1529
01:15:40,760 --> 01:15:42,680
Speaker 3: They can find your seven week course and where they

1530
01:15:42,720 --> 01:15:44,799
Speaker 3: can find my little Yoni and all their friends.

1531
01:15:45,200 --> 01:15:47,920
Speaker 4: They can't find a seven week of course quite yeah,

1532
01:15:48,280 --> 01:15:52,960
Speaker 4: that's the underground you can okay, yeah, but definitely my

1533
01:15:53,000 --> 01:15:57,240
Speaker 4: Little Yoni it's at my Little Yoni on Instagram, my

1534
01:15:57,439 --> 01:16:01,439
Speaker 4: Little Yo and I and and all the same across

1535
01:16:01,479 --> 01:16:05,920
Speaker 4: everything awesome, my lilioni dot com. And yeah, thank you

1536
01:16:05,920 --> 01:16:06,920
Speaker 4: guys for having me here.

1537
01:16:07,000 --> 01:16:09,320
Speaker 5: Thank you, Yeah, appreciate you.

1538
01:16:10,479 --> 01:16:13,920
Speaker 1: So you guys make sure to follow Ariel And also

1539
01:16:13,960 --> 01:16:15,800
Speaker 1: if you guys aren't following us, make sure to follow

1540
01:16:15,880 --> 01:16:18,920
Speaker 1: us at Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices. Make sure to

1541
01:16:19,000 --> 01:16:23,440
Speaker 1: join our newsletter at Goodmoms Bad Choices dot com. Jamila's

1542
01:16:24,800 --> 01:16:27,400
Speaker 1: putting recipes out there and ship thanksgivings for coming.

1543
01:16:30,560 --> 01:16:33,719
Speaker 2: And we're gonna put some more information about our Yoni's

1544
01:16:33,800 --> 01:16:34,120
Speaker 2: on there.

1545
01:16:34,680 --> 01:16:36,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll do a giveaway. Yeah, and we're gonna do

1546
01:16:36,640 --> 01:16:38,360
Speaker 1: a giveaway for my lil so look out for that

1547
01:16:39,120 --> 01:16:44,280
Speaker 1: and we'll catch you guys next week. Bye I. Thank

1548
01:16:53,880 --> 01:17:00,640
Speaker 1: yeah