1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:02,520 Speaker 1: Buckle up, hold on tight. We got it for you here. 2 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:06,640 Speaker 1: It is the straw who subject he cursed his own 3 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:10,719 Speaker 1: mama out. Dear Stephen Shirley, I prayed and asked God 4 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 1: to send me a great man. It took ten long years, 5 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:18,079 Speaker 1: but my prayers were answered and I got an amazing man. 6 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:22,280 Speaker 1: We're getting married this month. But there's just one problem. 7 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: I was taught that you should watch how a man 8 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:27,120 Speaker 1: loves and treats his mother because it will show you 9 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,480 Speaker 1: what kind of man he is. Well, I recently learned 10 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:33,520 Speaker 1: that my fiance does not respect his mother at all. 11 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:36,440 Speaker 1: We traveled to Maryland to visit his mom, and it 12 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 1: was the worst visit ever. His mother was drinking hennessy 13 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:43,200 Speaker 1: from the time we got there still three days later 14 00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:47,440 Speaker 1: when she kicked me out of the house. Yes, she 15 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:50,320 Speaker 1: kicked me out. When we first got there. She complained 16 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,320 Speaker 1: that I was on my cell phone too much because 17 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 1: I was letting my family know we had made it safely. 18 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 1: Then she fussed about me taking a shower at night 19 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:02,360 Speaker 1: and in the morning she told me to She told 20 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:06,240 Speaker 1: me to ask permission to take additional baths in her house. 21 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:08,959 Speaker 1: By the third day, she went off of me for 22 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,679 Speaker 1: watching a live stream of my church service back home 23 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:15,240 Speaker 1: because we missed church that day. She yelled for me 24 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 1: to turn that mess off or get out of her house. 25 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:22,440 Speaker 1: That was the final straw for my fiance. He lost 26 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:26,319 Speaker 1: it and went off on his mother, calling her an old, hateful, 27 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:30,280 Speaker 1: drunk be I was in shock and told him that 28 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 1: was uncalled for. He was very angry and told me 29 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:35,760 Speaker 1: to get my things so we could leave. I told 30 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:38,160 Speaker 1: him that he was wrong. He said that his mother 31 00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:41,039 Speaker 1: was wrong. We left and that was it. He hasn't 32 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,600 Speaker 1: spoken to his mom and over a month now, I'm 33 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:46,440 Speaker 1: wondering if this is some kind of character flaw he has. 34 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:49,080 Speaker 1: Will he treat me the same way once we're married 35 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:55,040 Speaker 1: or was he just protecting me? Well, this is definitely 36 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:58,880 Speaker 1: the opposite of a mama's boy, okay, because you know, 37 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:01,560 Speaker 1: when you when you know, I've heard a lot of 38 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 1: women say that that you watch how a man treats 39 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,600 Speaker 1: his mom, and then that'll tell you, you you know, if 40 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:09,679 Speaker 1: he'll treat you that way. Well, sometimes that works the opposite. 41 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:13,160 Speaker 1: Sometimes they become mama's boys. But this is definitely not 42 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:16,000 Speaker 1: the case. But to answer your question, I do think 43 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:20,000 Speaker 1: perhaps he was trying to be protective of you. However, 44 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:24,360 Speaker 1: crazy way he did it. He was disgusted in his 45 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:27,600 Speaker 1: mom's behavior and he showed it. His mother is obviously 46 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:30,760 Speaker 1: an alcoholic, and uh, their relationship is in a very 47 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:34,000 Speaker 1: blad place because of it. Now, having said that, I 48 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,600 Speaker 1: do agree with you. Calling her a drunk b is 49 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:38,880 Speaker 1: out of line, that is uncalled for. I don't think 50 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,680 Speaker 1: it was any need for him to be so disrespectful 51 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:44,760 Speaker 1: to her or to her in front of you. And yes, 52 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:48,639 Speaker 1: he just might have some residual issues going on as 53 00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:52,440 Speaker 1: a result of her alcoholism being around that. UM, so 54 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:57,280 Speaker 1: you know what, I would just, um, maybe you know, 55 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:01,280 Speaker 1: make sure that he's okay, get some counseling. I don't 56 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:03,840 Speaker 1: know if you guys have considered marriage counseling or not, 57 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:07,560 Speaker 1: but if he does have issues, they probably will come 58 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:11,200 Speaker 1: out during the marriage. So I definitely suggest some counseling. 59 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 1: I know you're getting married soon, but I wouldn't go 60 00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:18,920 Speaker 1: into it without getting some counseling. Me personally, I don't 61 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:22,520 Speaker 1: think you have anything to worry about at all. Because 62 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:24,680 Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you why I feel this way. I 63 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:27,480 Speaker 1: have no jokes for this letter. I have something to 64 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:30,280 Speaker 1: say about this letter. And this is not because of 65 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:32,400 Speaker 1: my own mother, because I had what I thought was 66 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:34,520 Speaker 1: the greatest mom in the world, as do most people 67 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:37,720 Speaker 1: feel that way about their mother. So uhh, this is 68 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 1: not from experience, but I've watched it from a distance 69 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:46,920 Speaker 1: on several people. Everybody don't get a great mother. Hm, 70 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:51,560 Speaker 1: as great as your mother may have been, everybody ain't 71 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:57,680 Speaker 1: that fortunate. It's mother's that give away babies. It's mother's 72 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:03,560 Speaker 1: that's own drugs while they're pregnant. It's mother's that neglect children. 73 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:10,080 Speaker 1: It's mother's that abused children. Everybody don't get a great mother. 74 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:15,120 Speaker 1: This boy don't have a great mother. Now, let me 75 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 1: tell you what happened here. Like most boys wanting a 76 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:22,919 Speaker 1: relationship with their mother, most boys will go, hey, listen, 77 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,159 Speaker 1: I met the girl in my dreams. Man, I'm gonna 78 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:30,120 Speaker 1: take her to meet my mama. Every boy won't say 79 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:33,640 Speaker 1: mother's approval of the girl that they're gonna marry. I'm 80 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:36,559 Speaker 1: every dude, I know, man, he just wants that approve mama. 81 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:40,719 Speaker 1: Look what I got, Mama. What you think? So this 82 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:43,720 Speaker 1: board and drugged his new fiance to meet his mama, 83 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:46,719 Speaker 1: and you and you you know, you know, you know what, 84 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:50,480 Speaker 1: you're pretty good. You're watching services at home, multiple baths, 85 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:54,040 Speaker 1: you are. You're good in the morning and at night. Yeah, 86 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:56,680 Speaker 1: now that's crazy to have ain't having it at her 87 00:04:56,800 --> 00:05:02,960 Speaker 1: huh but ship d Now she's been drinking Hennessy from 88 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:04,920 Speaker 1: the time that this is not to drink. You want 89 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,839 Speaker 1: to drink. From time you get that to you leave. 90 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:13,440 Speaker 1: So now he didn't got frustrated because he didn't bought 91 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:17,640 Speaker 1: the girl of his dreams to meet his mother. And 92 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:24,000 Speaker 1: she did her usual because this ain't the first time. 93 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:27,880 Speaker 1: She didn't disappointed this boy showed up. See he ain't 94 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:30,360 Speaker 1: just fired off on one time. This has been a 95 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:34,280 Speaker 1: build up in this young guy. And now here she is. 96 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:37,919 Speaker 1: See what you don't know, baby, is she might have 97 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:41,840 Speaker 1: missed the graduation, showed out at a graduation. She didn't 98 00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 1: clowned him and embarrassed him at the family reunions before. 99 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:48,240 Speaker 1: She didn't making to the games because she was drinking. 100 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:51,920 Speaker 1: She didn't make the parent teacher meeting on time when 101 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:55,240 Speaker 1: she's poke to because she was drinking. She didn't call 102 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:58,599 Speaker 1: down that message, little job. She forgot to give a 103 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:01,400 Speaker 1: message to him one time when this boss called the house. 104 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:05,480 Speaker 1: You don't know what distance stacked up. He ain't fired 105 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:09,560 Speaker 1: off on his mama for one time. This woman has 106 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:14,360 Speaker 1: disappointed this young man over and over and over and over. 107 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:21,000 Speaker 1: And your visit was the last straw, m the last straw. 108 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:25,080 Speaker 1: I hadn't had enough for you. Every time I try 109 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:28,320 Speaker 1: to get your approval, every time I bring something around you, 110 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:31,040 Speaker 1: every time I need you to be proud of me, 111 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:36,000 Speaker 1: you pull this on me, you old drunk. Now he 112 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:39,080 Speaker 1: was wrong for that. He was wrong for that. I'll 113 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 1: tell you the rest. Come on, Steve, let's get part 114 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:45,600 Speaker 1: two of your response to today's strawberry letter. He cursed 115 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:48,599 Speaker 1: his own mama out seat. Now this girl is worried 116 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:51,520 Speaker 1: about this because she was raised to think that you 117 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:54,520 Speaker 1: gotta watch how a man treat his mama and then 118 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:57,640 Speaker 1: to tell you everything you need to know. Normally that's true, 119 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,800 Speaker 1: but now listen to me. Like said in the beginning, 120 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:06,760 Speaker 1: everybody don't get a great mother. Neglect, abuse, drugs, drinking. 121 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:12,160 Speaker 1: Everybody don't get a perfect mother. Most of us are fortunate, 122 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,440 Speaker 1: but there are those who are not. So. Now, he 123 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 1: didn't got the imperfect mama. Now, he didn't bought the 124 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:21,360 Speaker 1: girl of his dreams over the show off like most 125 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 1: boys do most young men. Most Mama, look what I 126 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:30,040 Speaker 1: got this hull I picked up boys. She's so pretty, lord, 127 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,480 Speaker 1: she just as sweet and oh man, thank you mama cool. 128 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,920 Speaker 1: I was sure hoping you say that now. Ain't took 129 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:38,880 Speaker 1: over that, and she just she just fired off on 130 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:42,040 Speaker 1: this girl. Three days later, you get kicked out of 131 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:46,080 Speaker 1: the house. You know. Uh. We first got this, she complained, 132 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:47,880 Speaker 1: I was on my cell phone too much because I 133 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:50,120 Speaker 1: was letting your family know we had made it safely. 134 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:53,320 Speaker 1: Then she first brought me taking a shower at night 135 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:56,480 Speaker 1: and in the morning she told me to ask permission 136 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:59,320 Speaker 1: to take additional baths in her house. What is an 137 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:04,080 Speaker 1: additional fail? I thought you could as many best as 138 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:11,000 Speaker 1: you want additional, But it's a new day. By the 139 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,120 Speaker 1: third day, she went off on me for watching the 140 00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:16,080 Speaker 1: live stream of my church service back home because we 141 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:19,240 Speaker 1: missed church that day. She yelled at me to turn 142 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:21,080 Speaker 1: that mess off and get out of her house. That 143 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,920 Speaker 1: was the final straw for my fiance. He lost it, 144 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,880 Speaker 1: went off on his mother, calling her old, hateful, drunk 145 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:29,000 Speaker 1: b I was in shock and told him that was 146 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:31,440 Speaker 1: uncalled for. He was very angry and told me to 147 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:34,240 Speaker 1: get my things, so we could leave. I told him 148 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:37,000 Speaker 1: he was wrong. He said his mother was wrong. We 149 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:38,920 Speaker 1: left it at that. He ain't spoke to his mom 150 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:40,920 Speaker 1: and over a month now, I'm wanting to do some 151 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:43,840 Speaker 1: kind of character flaw. He has now his character flaw 152 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:47,480 Speaker 1: as his mother because she's disappointed this dude many times. 153 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:51,800 Speaker 1: This ain't the first time, you old, drunk, hateful b 154 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:56,040 Speaker 1: is build up from all the other times. He wanted 155 00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 1: to say it, but he wasn't mad enough. And now 156 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,520 Speaker 1: call in your mom out of name. Don't make you 157 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 1: a man. That's not what I'm saying, but he would 158 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:06,400 Speaker 1: he he hadn't gotten to that point. See, you don't 159 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:09,440 Speaker 1: know about the graduation she missed, or the game she missed, 160 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 1: or the parent teachers things she never went to, or 161 00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:15,600 Speaker 1: the PTA meeting he couldn't be in Cubs. Guys, he 162 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:19,400 Speaker 1: had to come out of football because she kept missing rehearsals, practicing. 163 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,080 Speaker 1: You don't You don't know what the build up is. 164 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,440 Speaker 1: This boy has been disappointed a woman many times. This 165 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:27,720 Speaker 1: ain't the first time. Now, on the day of days 166 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,560 Speaker 1: when he really wanted to show her off. Man, because 167 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:33,079 Speaker 1: every dude wanna take his mama, he bring up there 168 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:36,000 Speaker 1: and this is what she do. This is what she do. 169 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,440 Speaker 1: Everybody don't get to have a good mama. So no, 170 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:43,360 Speaker 1: I think you have met a great man and don't 171 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:46,720 Speaker 1: judge him for that. Everybody makes mistakes. That he can 172 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:48,959 Speaker 1: have called his mom and apologize for calling out a 173 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:51,000 Speaker 1: name because that's wrong. You don't do that to your mama. 174 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:55,200 Speaker 1: But after that his mother was wrong. Who makes a 175 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,360 Speaker 1: person get out of the house and take it? Two balls? 176 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:01,280 Speaker 1: Who don't want her? A man? A woman that watch 177 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:05,320 Speaker 1: church on TV? What is drunk mama? What is you crazy? 178 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:09,560 Speaker 1: Get your stuff? We leave, all right, Steve? We got 179 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:21,640 Speaker 1: email us or Instagram. Who isn't it? Who isn't that 180 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:27,640 Speaker 1: saying church? Mutic? So you sit here running extra hot 181 00:10:27,679 --> 00:10:31,800 Speaker 1: water and I'm saying the church so tough as you 182 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:36,760 Speaker 1: lost your man, drunk mama, you're talking to your phone 183 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:43,560 Speaker 1: to your people talking about you made it. Oh you've 184 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:47,359 Speaker 1: been get your look cute clean ass out of here. 185 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:51,480 Speaker 1: Be no cute clean christing up in him. We lost daddy, 186 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:58,199 Speaker 1: broke down, all right, Steve, We do have to get 187 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,320 Speaker 1: out of here. You can email us your i'm us 188 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:03,240 Speaker 1: your thoughts on today's Strawberry letter at my Girl Shirley 189 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:05,920 Speaker 1: and please join me today at one p m. For 190 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:11,480 Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter Live after show on Steve Harvey Facebook Live. Okay, 191 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:14,480 Speaker 1: you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.