WEBVTT - Podcast Therapy 0:00:00.920 --> 0:00:04.200 This is he said a Yadeh with Eric Winter and 0:00:04.280 --> 0:00:11.040 Rodlin Fantev. Okay, welcome to another episode, he said, A 0:00:11.200 --> 0:00:15.000 ya d ho where ayad Ho was tardy as usual 0:00:15.080 --> 0:00:15.800 and they. 0:00:15.880 --> 0:00:19.880 I apologize, guys, I thought it was eleven thirty. 0:00:20.440 --> 0:00:23.319 But it was even read texts. You gotta be in 0:00:23.360 --> 0:00:23.960 the loop. 0:00:24.400 --> 0:00:26.960 My apology. So how are you? How's everybody? 0:00:27.080 --> 0:00:29.240 He said, A yady I want to start off by 0:00:29.240 --> 0:00:30.840 saying one thing. You know, it's so funny. As we 0:00:30.840 --> 0:00:32.760 were about to start this podcast, I started getting a 0:00:32.760 --> 0:00:36.560 bunch of messages on like cameo and Instagram and fans 0:00:36.560 --> 0:00:39.199 reaching out because they listened to the last podcast, and 0:00:39.360 --> 0:00:42.760 so many fans felt bad that you were going through 0:00:42.880 --> 0:00:47.479 all this social media nightmare, you know, nonsense with all 0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:49.760 the messages and blah blah blah, and so a lot 0:00:49.840 --> 0:00:52.280 of fans actually reached out and wanted to relate messages 0:00:52.320 --> 0:00:54.760 to you, to me saying Roslyn, we love you. We're 0:00:54.760 --> 0:00:56.560 actually huge fans of yours for years. 0:00:56.760 --> 0:00:58.200 I haven't I haven't read anything. 0:00:58.320 --> 0:01:00.680 Yeah. No, they reached out to me directly and let 0:01:00.720 --> 0:01:03.600 her know that we just absolutely love her and respect 0:01:03.640 --> 0:01:05.720 her and think she's amazing, and we've watched her for 0:01:06.160 --> 0:01:08.000 you know, many many years and been fans of years 0:01:08.000 --> 0:01:09.320 for a long time, and they just want you to 0:01:09.400 --> 0:01:11.640 know that it's not like that everywhere. 0:01:12.319 --> 0:01:13.240 That's very nice. 0:01:13.280 --> 0:01:15.000 So I told them I to make sure to relay 0:01:15.080 --> 0:01:15.600 the message. 0:01:15.680 --> 0:01:16.559 Appreciate you guys. 0:01:17.920 --> 0:01:20.800 So what about uh, our trip to Minnesota we had 0:01:20.880 --> 0:01:22.840 Valentine's away from the kids. That was like one of 0:01:22.880 --> 0:01:24.080 the last things we talked about. 0:01:24.319 --> 0:01:26.440 Yes, it was a success. 0:01:26.560 --> 0:01:27.960 You know, we're friends. 0:01:28.400 --> 0:01:31.039 So this mocktail and it's really interesting, you guys, when 0:01:31.040 --> 0:01:33.920 you come up with a with a brand from scratch, 0:01:34.040 --> 0:01:36.280 from zero that you have to deal with the formula 0:01:36.480 --> 0:01:41.440 formula meaning the combination of flavors, and it's like scientific almost. 0:01:41.160 --> 0:01:43.399 What they say. It's chemistry and not just that. But 0:01:43.440 --> 0:01:45.240 we're we're trying to you know, we want to do 0:01:45.319 --> 0:01:48.840 something that is very low in sugar, but we're very 0:01:49.040 --> 0:01:50.760 you know, health conscious. So it's like the things that 0:01:50.760 --> 0:01:52.640 are going to be in there as sweeteners aren't going 0:01:52.720 --> 0:01:54.960 to be you know, ideally things that are bad sweeteners. 0:01:55.000 --> 0:01:58.240 We want to have health healthy properties. 0:01:58.320 --> 0:02:00.760 It's really interesting because the first bad that we got 0:02:01.880 --> 0:02:05.520 we didn't go to the distillery in the liquid. That's 0:02:05.560 --> 0:02:07.240 what you call it. The liquid was sent to us 0:02:07.800 --> 0:02:10.520 and it was four flavors, all based on like Puerto 0:02:10.600 --> 0:02:14.920 Rican fruits, not fully native. Some are native, but some 0:02:14.960 --> 0:02:21.799 are just very common in Puerto Rico, the guava, starfruit, pomosa, pineapple, 0:02:22.840 --> 0:02:25.840 things like that. Now we're going to introduce us. Oh, 0:02:25.919 --> 0:02:29.040 now we're gonna introduce canempa. But anyways, the flavors came 0:02:29.120 --> 0:02:33.120 back and they were so incredible that we're like, oh 0:02:33.160 --> 0:02:37.080 my god, this is the best mocktail on the fruity side, 0:02:37.480 --> 0:02:39.240 you know, because they are they are going to have 0:02:39.800 --> 0:02:42.480 some fruity component to it. It's not like you're drinking. 0:02:43.600 --> 0:02:45.720 I want to do a non alcoholic beer or I 0:02:45.760 --> 0:02:49.040 want to do a non alcoholic to hito. But you 0:02:49.040 --> 0:02:51.040 know a lot of times it tastes like a mohito, 0:02:51.080 --> 0:02:53.200 but it doesn't have alcohol because I don't like the 0:02:53.240 --> 0:02:55.920 taste of alcohol. Is that's not my case. My mocktails 0:02:55.919 --> 0:02:59.160 are not going to resemble alcohol. They're just gonna be delicious. 0:02:59.160 --> 0:03:01.919 However, I will say couple of them to me, because 0:03:01.960 --> 0:03:05.200 you're not a drinker, did have a nice resemblance to certainly. 0:03:04.880 --> 0:03:08.160 The one that has tamarind. But this is what's interesting guys. 0:03:08.240 --> 0:03:10.040 So we get the first batch and I was like, 0:03:10.080 --> 0:03:12.000 this is it. This is amazing. Then we ask for 0:03:12.040 --> 0:03:16.919 the sugar content and we were like oh no, no, wonder. 0:03:18.560 --> 0:03:21.560 So we're like, I cannot be promoting something that I 0:03:21.639 --> 0:03:24.800 consume because I'm very health conscious. I cannot be giving 0:03:24.840 --> 0:03:26.760 people something that is, oh my god, I so yummy. 0:03:26.760 --> 0:03:30.040 But you're basically drinking a twistler. So we're like, this 0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:31.520 is not going to work. So we've been going back 0:03:31.560 --> 0:03:33.800 and forth, back and forth and trying to find like 0:03:33.880 --> 0:03:39.000 an element of wealth, wealth wellness. How do you say that? 0:03:39.960 --> 0:03:42.880 Let me reveal that again, trying to find an element 0:03:43.040 --> 0:03:47.880 of wellness and make it a functional mocktail so when 0:03:47.880 --> 0:03:49.760 you're drinking it is actually good for you. 0:03:49.960 --> 0:03:52.640 There's a health benefit along the way. That is going 0:03:52.680 --> 0:03:56.200 to be important to us because obviously, like we said, 0:03:56.200 --> 0:03:58.080 we're health conscious, but we are something. 0:03:58.120 --> 0:03:59.000 You're driving me mad. 0:03:59.080 --> 0:04:01.080 I heard this back for I have to fix the camera. 0:04:02.920 --> 0:04:05.040 Eric is interrupting my flow. He's going back and forth, 0:04:05.080 --> 0:04:09.280 back and forth, back and forth. That clip okay, anyways, Yeah, 0:04:09.320 --> 0:04:11.000 so we wanted to be healthy, deligious, so that's what 0:04:11.000 --> 0:04:11.840 happened in Minnesota. 0:04:11.920 --> 0:04:14.280 Would do then, but then We found out when we 0:04:14.280 --> 0:04:17.280 were doing a sign in Miami that THHC mocktails are 0:04:17.320 --> 0:04:21.599 actually selling through the roof, So we might do one 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:24.240 mocktail just THC in it, which is going to be 0:04:24.279 --> 0:04:27.000 awesome to get roseland drinking that one. I can't wait 0:04:27.279 --> 0:04:27.560 for her. 0:04:27.640 --> 0:04:32.000 So we tested the THHC and our friends which hopefully 0:04:32.040 --> 0:04:33.839 are going to be our partners in this business venture, 0:04:33.920 --> 0:04:37.359 were there and Eric and they took it and not 0:04:37.480 --> 0:04:39.839 they didn't feel anything, And of course I take it, 0:04:39.920 --> 0:04:42.480 and then I'm asking everybody, you guys, don't feel like 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:44.520 a little lightheaded like nobody felt anything, but. 0:04:44.839 --> 0:04:47.440 She felt it. But she made herself feel it, which 0:04:47.480 --> 0:04:49.760 always happens with you like him association. 0:04:49.960 --> 0:04:53.360 What I am. My system is very clean, so anything 0:04:53.360 --> 0:04:55.000 that I introduced to it that might give it a 0:04:55.000 --> 0:04:57.280 little bit of a whatever feeling, it happens. 0:04:57.400 --> 0:04:59.680 We did have a fun quick trip though, because it 0:04:59.720 --> 0:05:02.039 Wasentine's Day and we landed and it was full of 0:05:02.080 --> 0:05:05.320 snow in Minnesota. It was amazing. Went to an awesome 0:05:05.320 --> 0:05:09.720 steakhouse and just a fun like single day getaway with 0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:11.920 another couple that exup of friends of ours and being 0:05:11.920 --> 0:05:14.120 able to be you know, away from the kids for 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:15.760 a night, which you always missed them, but like being 0:05:15.800 --> 0:05:17.320 away from them for the night was fun, and like 0:05:17.480 --> 0:05:21.240 experiencing a snowy Minneapolis was was cool. So it was 0:05:21.240 --> 0:05:21.719 a great trip. 0:05:21.760 --> 0:05:24.279 It was really and eric One came back to Los 0:05:24.279 --> 0:05:28.320 Angeles and I went from Minnesota snowing, freezing to Puerto 0:05:28.400 --> 0:05:33.960 Rico for two days ninety degrees, humid, sunny, and I 0:05:34.120 --> 0:05:36.560 was like, oh, my music video to the point that 0:05:36.720 --> 0:05:39.159 my big, big coat. I left it with my friend Jarline, 0:05:39.160 --> 0:05:40.800 and I said, Jarline, can you just keep this because 0:05:40.800 --> 0:05:42.279 I don't need to hear in Puerto Rico and I 0:05:42.279 --> 0:05:44.479 can't even fit it in some of my luggage and 0:05:44.480 --> 0:05:46.680 I don't want to put it on. So yeah, I 0:05:46.760 --> 0:05:49.400 left for my coat. Anyway, So with the music video 0:05:49.520 --> 0:05:52.359 for the girls for the movie, it was unbelievable and 0:05:52.400 --> 0:05:53.320 I'm very excited. 0:05:53.560 --> 0:05:55.320 Yeah, it was cool. It was great. It was a 0:05:55.400 --> 0:05:56.280 very productive trip. 0:05:56.320 --> 0:05:57.360 And now I leave again. 0:05:57.760 --> 0:06:00.200 Now she goes again, go NiFe on the road for 0:06:00.279 --> 0:06:00.640 a month. 0:06:00.760 --> 0:06:01.600 Oh life on the road. 0:06:01.680 --> 0:06:05.320 She's going to do a movie with Rob Low in Budapest, 0:06:05.560 --> 0:06:07.200 which is gonna be interesting, but it's gonna be fun 0:06:07.240 --> 0:06:09.040 because in three weeks we're going to go meet her 0:06:09.080 --> 0:06:10.840 there with me and the kids, and we're gonna go 0:06:10.880 --> 0:06:13.760 to Budapest for a week and Sebbie's gonna play tennis there, 0:06:13.800 --> 0:06:15.640 and then we're gonna go on vacation to Paris for 0:06:15.680 --> 0:06:17.359 a week right after that. Since we're over in that 0:06:17.400 --> 0:06:19.800 part of the world, We're like, let's extend spring break. 0:06:20.400 --> 0:06:22.200 So they've been wanting they've been wanting to go to 0:06:22.200 --> 0:06:23.120 Paris so badly. 0:06:23.200 --> 0:06:25.040 Yes, I he's taking French in school, so she'll get 0:06:25.040 --> 0:06:26.760 a chance to do something and try it. And then 0:06:26.800 --> 0:06:31.040 I go back to Paris right after that for the 0:06:31.400 --> 0:06:34.240 con that I'm doing in Paris for in May, like 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:35.080 the first week in a mess. 0:06:35.120 --> 0:06:36.080 So you're going back to back. 0:06:36.200 --> 0:06:37.800 I got to go to Paris back to back within 0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:38.559 like a month apart. 0:06:38.640 --> 0:06:39.279 That's crazy. 0:06:39.880 --> 0:06:42.440 So I'll be seeing y'all in France. That'll be fun. 0:06:42.680 --> 0:06:44.560 Let me tell them then, now spend He's not out, 0:06:44.560 --> 0:06:46.600 But guys, I'm doing this movie is horror. I've never 0:06:46.640 --> 0:06:49.919 done horror, and that's one of the things that entices 0:06:49.960 --> 0:06:51.599 me because I was like, I've never done this. Genera, 0:06:51.640 --> 0:06:54.320 that's how you say general, it's a hey needle, And 0:06:54.400 --> 0:06:56.279 I said, and then I love Roblou, so I was like, 0:06:56.279 --> 0:06:58.560 this is going to be pretty cool, but I didn't know, 0:06:58.680 --> 0:07:01.560 to be honest, and I learned after the fact that 0:07:01.680 --> 0:07:04.440 it is based on an ip that people that like horror, 0:07:05.080 --> 0:07:08.880 they love it. It's like a thriller horror and it's 0:07:08.880 --> 0:07:11.640 called the Third Parent and it's this character that is 0:07:11.720 --> 0:07:16.040 very spooky called Tommy Tommy Taffy, and people that know 0:07:16.160 --> 0:07:18.840 about Tommy Taffy is like a huge deal because I 0:07:18.840 --> 0:07:21.400 guess it's a very not beloved because it's scary, but 0:07:21.520 --> 0:07:27.200 a very well known ip. So yeah, I'm gonna get 0:07:27.240 --> 0:07:30.640 ready to be depressed and scared for every depression. 0:07:30.640 --> 0:07:33.400 It's gonna be scared for your life because where you 0:07:33.480 --> 0:07:35.080 live or will you die? People are gonna have to 0:07:35.120 --> 0:07:35.400 watch it. 0:07:35.480 --> 0:07:37.400 They're gonna have to watch it, you know what I'm 0:07:37.400 --> 0:07:39.880 gonna this is something completely unrelated. But guys, I don't 0:07:39.880 --> 0:07:42.600 know if anybody, I'm sure a lot of our listeners 0:07:42.640 --> 0:07:44.840 because it's pretty common. It's just that people don't recognize 0:07:44.840 --> 0:07:47.840 it if you suffer from a panic attack. So everybody 0:07:47.840 --> 0:07:50.400 knows that I'm very cloustrophobic, but I don't really feel 0:07:50.440 --> 0:07:54.160 like I suffer from like a panic attack. Anyways, I'm 0:07:54.240 --> 0:07:59.880 listening to this podcast and the guess is the Latino 0:08:00.200 --> 0:08:02.600 that is very well known, you know her beautiful girl, 0:08:02.840 --> 0:08:05.400 and she's talking about her life and you know on 0:08:05.920 --> 0:08:08.680 her journey. She comes from Tijuana, then moved to San 0:08:08.680 --> 0:08:11.800 Diego and now she does really well. And she was 0:08:11.840 --> 0:08:16.200 saying that she was experimenting panic attacks and she never 0:08:16.240 --> 0:08:24.000 had that before experiencing and then she was describing the 0:08:24.120 --> 0:08:26.200 bad one that she had in Vegas. Was she was 0:08:26.200 --> 0:08:28.960 there with her husband. She came from work for like 0:08:29.040 --> 0:08:31.160 seven months. She was in Mexico shooting a soap for 0:08:31.200 --> 0:08:34.760 seven months, having a blast, but at the same time 0:08:34.920 --> 0:08:37.120 miserable because she was away from her husband and her kid, 0:08:38.000 --> 0:08:42.120 and she didn't realize how bad it was. And it 0:08:42.200 --> 0:08:44.320 hit her when she went back, came back to the 0:08:44.320 --> 0:08:46.640 States and she had a full own panic attack on 0:08:46.679 --> 0:08:49.679 a little getaway to Vegas with her husband just to reconnect. 0:08:49.720 --> 0:08:52.160 Wait, she didn't have panic attack when she was gone, 0:08:52.240 --> 0:08:53.160 she had it when she reached. 0:08:53.360 --> 0:08:56.400 She knew she was funky, well she was away kind 0:08:56.440 --> 0:08:59.360 of like I'm acting like I'm happy, but I'm actually 0:08:59.440 --> 0:09:01.240 not very happy. I can't wait to get out of here. 0:09:01.720 --> 0:09:04.199 So she was going through the motions, but a full 0:09:04.240 --> 0:09:09.480 on physical panic attack. She had it when she came back. 0:09:09.920 --> 0:09:12.600 So now the therapist is saying, it was your body 0:09:12.760 --> 0:09:17.080 basically going haywire because you're back into your routine, and 0:09:17.559 --> 0:09:20.320 it was the way your body basically was coping with 0:09:20.400 --> 0:09:24.040 like I'm back, and the repressing all those feelings for 0:09:24.080 --> 0:09:27.319 several months. It just came crashing down when she was back, 0:09:28.200 --> 0:09:31.960 and when she was explaining the symptoms, I was like, 0:09:32.160 --> 0:09:35.200 oh my god, you remember when I was away. I 0:09:35.200 --> 0:09:37.160 think I went to I think I was in Puerto 0:09:37.240 --> 0:09:40.480 Rico doing on the card the movie that is going 0:09:40.559 --> 0:09:41.760 to come out with Wan the Sikes, and then I 0:09:41.800 --> 0:09:45.440 went straight to the Mohurica fe And then as I 0:09:45.480 --> 0:09:47.840 was gone for a while and I came back, you 0:09:47.920 --> 0:09:50.480 were sleeping. I landed like at midnight, kids were sleeping. 0:09:50.520 --> 0:09:53.320 You're sleeping. And I got a really bad headache on 0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:56.080 my way back to the house, which I get this 0:09:56.120 --> 0:09:58.840 a lot, because I think because of the migraine. And 0:09:58.920 --> 0:10:02.280 I remember putting the luggage in the living room and 0:10:02.320 --> 0:10:05.040 then walk into the kitchen and having a full on 0:10:05.920 --> 0:10:11.960 tingling sensation. My hands were fully tingling, numb, my body. 0:10:12.000 --> 0:10:15.079 I had to sit down at the bar. I'm sitting down, 0:10:15.200 --> 0:10:17.640 my heart is racing. I'm going, oh my god, I 0:10:17.679 --> 0:10:19.640 think I'm gonna have a heart attack. I didn't want 0:10:19.640 --> 0:10:21.320 to wake you up. I never told me, so I 0:10:21.400 --> 0:10:24.319 walked all the way, basically crawling to the little kitchen 0:10:24.360 --> 0:10:28.360 nuke and I basically plumped myself into that bench and 0:10:28.400 --> 0:10:31.840 I'm praying and praying and breathing, going, oh my god, 0:10:31.840 --> 0:10:33.520 I'm gonna have a heart attack and nobody they're gonna 0:10:33.520 --> 0:10:36.079 find me dead. And I'm breathing. I didn't take you. 0:10:36.120 --> 0:10:38.160 The next morning and I'm breathing and breathing, and I 0:10:38.240 --> 0:10:41.000 basically I got out of it and I was like, Okay, 0:10:41.040 --> 0:10:43.360 I think it's gone. And then I drank some water, 0:10:43.480 --> 0:10:45.800 I had something to eat, I took a shower, and 0:10:45.840 --> 0:10:48.240 I went to bed. And I will never I was 0:10:48.320 --> 0:10:51.600 I always always stay with me going what was that 0:10:51.640 --> 0:10:53.520 about it? Because I'm talking about it. It was no more 0:10:53.559 --> 0:10:54.280 than ten minutes. 0:10:54.559 --> 0:10:56.240 What's weird is you think you had the panic attack 0:10:56.240 --> 0:10:57.960 while you were gone? Now when you arrived. 0:10:58.160 --> 0:11:00.319 No, And I was like, when I'm living sitting to 0:11:00.400 --> 0:11:03.720 this podcast of this girl, I was like, oh my god, 0:11:04.280 --> 0:11:06.680 she described exactly what I went through. 0:11:06.760 --> 0:11:10.640 Maybe there's a panic attack of reintegrating back into life. 0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:13.320 I have no idea because it is a weird thing. 0:11:13.360 --> 0:11:13.800 I don't know what. 0:11:14.200 --> 0:11:15.360 Have you ever had a panic attack? 0:11:15.559 --> 0:11:17.199 No, I don't suffer, so you don't know what that is. 0:11:17.400 --> 0:11:18.560 But I don't suffer from that either. 0:11:19.480 --> 0:11:22.679 You do versions claustrophobia, I mean, but not like that. 0:11:22.760 --> 0:11:25.600 But you panic. So it's like you leading you. You 0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:27.240 do suffer from panic attacks. 0:11:27.240 --> 0:11:29.560 It just comes when talking about the panic attack that 0:11:29.600 --> 0:11:32.400 you just don't know what's happening with you. I wasn't 0:11:32.400 --> 0:11:34.040 in a confined space. I was none of that. 0:11:34.080 --> 0:11:36.040 Your panic attacks get triggered bout other things. But you 0:11:36.080 --> 0:11:37.439 have had panic attacks. 0:11:37.480 --> 0:11:39.280 So maybe I'm susceptible. 0:11:39.520 --> 0:11:41.840 Yeah, for sure, you definitely that's something you deal with. 0:11:41.920 --> 0:11:44.320 I'm going to tell you something. It's no fun, like 0:11:45.040 --> 0:11:48.440 that suffer from this, like not the closerphobia. One people 0:11:48.480 --> 0:11:50.360 that suffer from like panic attacks. Like we have a 0:11:50.360 --> 0:11:53.200 good friend of ours that have twins and one of 0:11:53.240 --> 0:11:56.400 them out of nowhere, has a panic attack, and they're 0:11:56.400 --> 0:11:58.760 like trying to deal with that situation. It's like it 0:11:58.800 --> 0:11:59.720 must be really scary. 0:12:00.200 --> 0:12:01.640 It has to be tough. I mean, it's a lot 0:12:01.640 --> 0:12:03.160 to cope with and people, don't you know, when you 0:12:03.200 --> 0:12:04.920 travel for a long periods of time, not to shoot, 0:12:04.920 --> 0:12:07.440 but anybody, it is hard. Like it's you know, there's 0:12:07.480 --> 0:12:09.760 a moment where you're like, wow, okay, I'm away, I 0:12:09.760 --> 0:12:12.720 can sleep in a little bit, I get to experience 0:12:12.760 --> 0:12:16.080 something new. But then you very quickly realize like, oh 0:12:16.160 --> 0:12:19.760 my god, I'm gone from my family for a long time. 0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:31.040 Well, the only reason I took this job, guy, is 0:12:31.080 --> 0:12:35.360 to be honest with you, was because it is going 0:12:35.440 --> 0:12:38.600 to coincide with spring break. And I was like, the 0:12:38.679 --> 0:12:41.200 kids and Eric can come. So I'm away for five weeks, 0:12:41.240 --> 0:12:42.360 but you guys are there for two weeks. 0:12:42.640 --> 0:12:44.400 Away for five weeks. You're there for oh yeah, yeh, 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:46.960 you're away a half weeks and two get there. 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:48.439 So I'm going to be alone before three and a 0:12:48.480 --> 0:12:50.640 half weeks and then you guys come. That's the only 0:12:50.679 --> 0:12:53.160 way and the only reason why, because you know how 0:12:53.160 --> 0:12:54.880 I get when I have to leave, I'll get down. 0:12:55.000 --> 0:12:58.000 I'm like I get a little and see, I'm I'm 0:12:58.000 --> 0:13:02.080 not happy this one. It's really far away. But the 0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:04.320 only reason that I'm going you know what, ros's just 0:13:04.400 --> 0:13:07.560 enjoy it. You've never done this. Genera is a great script. 0:13:07.760 --> 0:13:10.520 Just enjoyed. And I know it is because, Oh, they're coming, Oh, 0:13:10.559 --> 0:13:12.559 they're gonna come. By the time I realize that I'm 0:13:12.600 --> 0:13:15.440 by myself, boom, you guys are there. Yeah, So I'm fine. 0:13:15.640 --> 0:13:18.319 It'll be good, it'll be good, it'll be fun. Before 0:13:18.320 --> 0:13:21.240 we wrap up, let's let's jump into some listener questions. Yes, 0:13:21.679 --> 0:13:23.080 because it's going to take a little bit. There's some 0:13:23.080 --> 0:13:26.440 good questions today. Actually, there's always good questions, I would say, actually, 0:13:26.440 --> 0:13:28.320 but these are some good ones. What is the best 0:13:28.320 --> 0:13:31.320 way to solve an argument with your spouse? My spouse 0:13:31.360 --> 0:13:34.360 gets really passionate, and I want to talk calmly, but 0:13:34.440 --> 0:13:36.760 we cannot seem to get on the same page when 0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:40.200 it comes to communication. Who do you think it's more 0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:46.840 worked up in our relationship? As say that again, who 0:13:47.120 --> 0:13:50.480 gets more worked up in our relationship? Who is when 0:13:50.480 --> 0:13:54.800 it comes to an argument like this listener is saying 0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:56.880 they want to talk calmly, but they can't seem to 0:13:56.880 --> 0:13:59.240 get on the same page because their spouse gets really passionate. 0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:01.439 What do you think. 0:14:02.920 --> 0:14:06.040 I think I get both. I think I start calm 0:14:06.360 --> 0:14:08.120 and then when I don't feel like you want to talk, 0:14:08.120 --> 0:14:10.600 I get more passionate, and then you start to close 0:14:10.640 --> 0:14:13.240 down more. The more passionate I get, so I try 0:14:13.280 --> 0:14:14.240 to talk calm and. 0:14:14.200 --> 0:14:16.679 Then I tell you, the more you keep talking about it, 0:14:16.720 --> 0:14:19.000 the more upset I'm going to get. So they were 0:14:19.040 --> 0:14:20.560 not on the same page because they were not even 0:14:20.560 --> 0:14:23.280 talking calmly. The thing is that the dynamics in this relationship, guys, 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:28.320 it's been almost twenty years our relationship, okay, have changed 0:14:28.400 --> 0:14:33.320 because Eric used to be much more passive and just 0:14:33.360 --> 0:14:35.920 more like a cancer, you know, like more like a 0:14:35.960 --> 0:14:38.800 little bit more calm. And I think because of survival. 0:14:39.440 --> 0:14:43.760 You have survival, survival. You put me on the brink 0:14:43.800 --> 0:14:46.520 of survival. That's that you triggered me in a good way. 0:14:47.400 --> 0:14:51.280 Maybe maybe actually, well not if we're arguing I'm in survival. 0:14:51.320 --> 0:14:55.360 But listen, yes I have elevated your life completely. But wow, 0:14:55.680 --> 0:15:00.000 what I'm saying is inspired. But yeah, inspired, you have inspired, 0:15:00.160 --> 0:15:01.560 you know. But what I'm talking about is that you 0:15:01.920 --> 0:15:05.440 used to be much more calm. I'm more like sentimental. 0:15:05.480 --> 0:15:07.440 I'm very like, no, let's just have a dialogue, because 0:15:07.440 --> 0:15:10.120 you're you went to school for psychology, so you're all 0:15:10.160 --> 0:15:13.760 about let me, let me just pick your brain and 0:15:13.840 --> 0:15:16.600 because I will go from zero to sixty really fast 0:15:16.640 --> 0:15:19.120 because I don't have the patience all the time or 0:15:19.160 --> 0:15:20.680 the temperament to talk. 0:15:21.520 --> 0:15:23.360 Yeah, you boiled my water a lot more like we 0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:25.160 say the podcast. 0:15:25.240 --> 0:15:27.960 Yeah you have changed immensely because now you like to 0:15:28.720 --> 0:15:30.080 compete with me. 0:15:30.200 --> 0:15:32.680 Yeah, you've boiled my water a lot, and I've calmed 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:34.480 you down. You're fired in a lot. But like we 0:15:34.480 --> 0:15:36.520 always say, when you boil it too much, I overflow. 0:15:36.560 --> 0:15:38.240 And then when you get put down too far, then 0:15:38.280 --> 0:15:39.360 you forgot the thing. 0:15:39.400 --> 0:15:42.280 I think we communicate. It depends on the question. So 0:15:42.320 --> 0:15:42.720 what is a fan? 0:15:42.840 --> 0:15:44.680 So I mean the listener question is like they can't 0:15:44.680 --> 0:15:46.400 see me get on the same page. What's the best 0:15:46.440 --> 0:15:49.720 way to solve an argument? Because you like a psychology, 0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:51.480 All I'm going to say is this, I don't think 0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:53.360 there's one rhyme or reason because we're not in that 0:15:53.400 --> 0:15:55.720 relationship with you guys, and I know that is specific 0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:59.000 to you. All the more you can keep calm, I 0:15:59.040 --> 0:16:03.320 would say easier. It will keep your partner, your spouse calm. 0:16:03.440 --> 0:16:05.280 They can be a little passionate, but I think try it. 0:16:05.280 --> 0:16:07.720 If you guys can remind each other when you're not 0:16:08.040 --> 0:16:10.760 arguing that anytime we get into a situation, let's do 0:16:10.840 --> 0:16:13.120 our best to try to hear what the other person 0:16:13.200 --> 0:16:16.720 is saying without reacting too heavily. And then once you 0:16:17.000 --> 0:16:19.080 hear it and you take it in, then you each 0:16:19.080 --> 0:16:20.680 get that moment of time to sort of have a 0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:23.360 platform to speak, but you can't interrupt and you can't 0:16:23.360 --> 0:16:27.480 get too passionate. I only say this because we've had 0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:31.400 therapy going over these kinds of things and repeating maybe maybe. 0:16:31.240 --> 0:16:34.280 You should exactly, maybe you should practice, And we've talked 0:16:34.280 --> 0:16:36.440 to two therapists and they all say the same thing. 0:16:36.440 --> 0:16:39.120 I think it's an exercise that you do when you 0:16:39.160 --> 0:16:42.040 go to compos therapy, which is very hard to accomplish. 0:16:42.280 --> 0:16:45.640 But if you're having an argument, the first thing you 0:16:45.640 --> 0:16:47.440 need to do. If you guys are at different levels 0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:50.440 when it comes to frequency, when it comes to the delivery, 0:16:50.680 --> 0:16:52.400 if you're calm on the other person is screaming or 0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:54.800 vice versa, the first thing is that the comp person 0:16:54.800 --> 0:16:56.120 has to say, you know what, We're not going to 0:16:56.160 --> 0:16:58.600 solve anything by communicating like this, because I already tune 0:16:58.600 --> 0:17:01.040 you out. You screaming me, I'm not listen so it's 0:17:01.040 --> 0:17:04.360 about respect. So let's just respect each other. And I'm 0:17:04.359 --> 0:17:07.919 gonna speak, and then you speak, But you do this, okay, speak, 0:17:08.320 --> 0:17:11.160 you let the person speak, and then you say what 0:17:11.240 --> 0:17:14.720 I hear you saying is the following, and then you 0:17:14.800 --> 0:17:17.359 repeat what you believe the person is saying. 0:17:17.400 --> 0:17:20.119 Oh, you believe you're repeating exactly what they're saying to 0:17:20.160 --> 0:17:22.480 make sure that you're understanding what they're saying. 0:17:22.520 --> 0:17:24.879 Yeah, but usually when you repeat has a little bit 0:17:24.880 --> 0:17:25.760 of an interpretation. 0:17:26.560 --> 0:17:28.520 Yes, but if you interpret it the wrong way, then 0:17:28.560 --> 0:17:29.160 that person. 0:17:29.119 --> 0:17:30.720 And the person needs to correct and say, no, that's 0:17:30.720 --> 0:17:32.200 not what I said. This is what I said. Okay, 0:17:32.240 --> 0:17:36.159 let me repeat it again exactly, because a lot of 0:17:36.160 --> 0:17:39.840 times usually the argument is not about that, it's about 0:17:39.840 --> 0:17:42.000 something else. It's just the person is not telling you. 0:17:42.000 --> 0:17:43.960 You know, I'm pissed out because two days ago I 0:17:44.000 --> 0:17:46.000 expected this from you and you didn't do it, and 0:17:46.000 --> 0:17:49.240 now I'm in a heightened state and now this bothered me. 0:17:49.800 --> 0:17:52.199 So it's a way of you diffusing by saying what 0:17:52.280 --> 0:17:54.200 I think you're saying is this. No, that's not it. Okay, 0:17:54.240 --> 0:17:57.080 so explain it to me again. Oh so you're upset because. 0:17:56.840 --> 0:17:58.800 Of that, Let me. Let me just say this, guys, 0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:01.000 and this will go to another listener question before we go. 0:18:01.240 --> 0:18:03.560 Because we do believe in couple's therapy. You don't always 0:18:03.600 --> 0:18:05.320