1 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:07,880 Speaker 1: This is Unbreakable with Jay Glazer, a mental health podcast 2 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:10,920 Speaker 1: helping you out of the gray and into the blue. 3 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:16,520 Speaker 1: Now here's Jay Glazer. All right, Welcome everybody to the 4 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:20,800 Speaker 1: very first ever episode of Unbreakable, a mental health podcast. 5 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:23,360 Speaker 1: I'm your host, Jay Glazer. And you may be asking, 6 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:26,040 Speaker 1: why is the guy from Fox NFL Sunday and Ballers 7 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:29,400 Speaker 1: hosting a mental health podcast? But that's because for years 8 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:32,960 Speaker 1: I have lived in something that I call the gray depression, 9 00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:35,960 Speaker 1: anxiety that's throwing from a d D while we're at it, 10 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:39,840 Speaker 1: and I've kind of hitting it. For all these years, 11 00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:43,199 Speaker 1: I've put on a different mask for all you to 12 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:45,640 Speaker 1: see me in a certain light. Well, those days are over, 13 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,159 Speaker 1: and we all talk about mental health these days, but 14 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:51,200 Speaker 1: who gives it words? So by this podcast, I hope 15 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:52,760 Speaker 1: to give it words. I hope to be able to 16 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,280 Speaker 1: give us all the words, to have the conversations to 17 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:58,200 Speaker 1: describe it. The more we could talk about it, the 18 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,440 Speaker 1: more we could take the shame away, and the more 19 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 1: we realize that we're not alone. We're walking this walk 20 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:07,560 Speaker 1: together with so many other people. Am My goal with 21 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 1: this podcast is to help us all through the gray 22 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,319 Speaker 1: and find a way to the blue. That's our goal. 23 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:15,840 Speaker 1: That's what I want to do, and I want to 24 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:18,480 Speaker 1: build up one big, badass army together. We can all 25 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:20,840 Speaker 1: hunt this blue together and tell the gray to go 26 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:24,039 Speaker 1: screw off. And sometimes I'm not gonna use the nicest 27 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:27,200 Speaker 1: words in this podcast because quite frankly, the gray doesn't 28 00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:34,120 Speaker 1: deserve to be spoken too nicely. So again, why me, um? 29 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,679 Speaker 1: I think? My? You know, I'm not a therapist, I'm 30 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:40,280 Speaker 1: not a doctor, I'm not a teacher. My expertise isn't suffering. 31 00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:43,160 Speaker 1: One thing God blessed me with the ability to do 32 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,280 Speaker 1: is that's talk and communicate. And I want to be 33 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,840 Speaker 1: able to communicate this now so we start to feel 34 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,800 Speaker 1: like we're in the majority. The more we could feel 35 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:52,920 Speaker 1: like this is not just special to us, and it'll 36 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 1: make us feel like we're not alone. So I wrote 37 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:59,440 Speaker 1: a book this year called Unbreakable, How I turned my 38 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:02,520 Speaker 1: depression and siety into motivation and you can too. And 39 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:07,160 Speaker 1: in the book, I describe what it's like to go 40 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:11,480 Speaker 1: through this depression and anxiety, the pain, the gray, um, 41 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:15,720 Speaker 1: the hopelessness of it. And in that book, as I 42 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:19,040 Speaker 1: describe it, it's to a certain individual who's really trying 43 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,040 Speaker 1: to learn about what the gray is like, and with 44 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:23,960 Speaker 1: that I bring in that individual proap to have him 45 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 1: as my first guest. It's Rams head coach Sean McVeigh, who, 46 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:30,560 Speaker 1: by the way, is playing in his season opener tomorrow. 47 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:33,239 Speaker 1: So I appreciate you joining us today, Sean. I mean, 48 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:36,240 Speaker 1: nobody better to kick this off with than you, since 49 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:38,880 Speaker 1: you've been there with me, really trying to understand it 50 00:02:38,919 --> 00:02:42,200 Speaker 1: from day one with me. Yeah, I think the first 51 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 1: thing is is how much I've learned from you and 52 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:48,240 Speaker 1: the willingness to be secure enough to acknowledge some of 53 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:50,040 Speaker 1: these things that you go through and that so many 54 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:52,760 Speaker 1: different people go through. But I've talked a lot about 55 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:54,720 Speaker 1: this you and I've talked about it Jay with some 56 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:56,760 Speaker 1: of our closest friends, and I think the best thing 57 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:59,080 Speaker 1: that you're doing right now is a lot of people 58 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:02,520 Speaker 1: talk about what is first trust or vulnerability, and I 59 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:04,880 Speaker 1: think the fact that you're so secure in yourself to 60 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:07,560 Speaker 1: be vulnerable to acknowledge the things that a lot of 61 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:11,400 Speaker 1: people are I'm sure are feeling and going through leads 62 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:14,200 Speaker 1: to that trust, and that's not the other way around. 63 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,680 Speaker 1: And I think that's why we've gotten so close. I've 64 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:19,640 Speaker 1: learned so much from you with your willingness to acknowledge it. 65 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:22,520 Speaker 1: I think in some form or fashion. You know, everybody 66 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 1: experiences these types of feelings, but it's understanding there is 67 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:29,840 Speaker 1: strength and the vulnerability. It's not a weakness to acknowledge it. 68 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:32,800 Speaker 1: And how can we use those things and lean on 69 00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:34,960 Speaker 1: people that are going through it to be able to 70 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 1: be uh mentally and physically tough, but not be you know, 71 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,440 Speaker 1: in denial of These are real things. These are real 72 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:44,680 Speaker 1: emotions and acknowledging that provides the strength to be able 73 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 1: to push through and get to the blue like you 74 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,360 Speaker 1: talk about. You know, it's it's funny because we talk 75 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:53,040 Speaker 1: about strength, right, and people ask me and I think 76 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:55,120 Speaker 1: you asked me else, like, you know, aren't you afraid? 77 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:58,400 Speaker 1: Like man, you're this tough guy, and I view with 78 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:01,760 Speaker 1: the other way. No, because I'm in the center of judaism, right, 79 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:05,080 Speaker 1: I'm football fighting bowlers. I look like I could cry 80 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:07,200 Speaker 1: on the drop of a time. But I think that's 81 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:10,040 Speaker 1: the problem. A lot of your locker rooms guys don't 82 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:11,440 Speaker 1: look at it that way. They look at it like 83 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,600 Speaker 1: if they open up, they're gonna be ostracizes, They're gonna 84 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,159 Speaker 1: be called wossies. They may get cut. How do you 85 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,320 Speaker 1: handle trying to let these guys now know they have 86 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,960 Speaker 1: a landing spot. I think the first thing is I 87 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:24,400 Speaker 1: think there's this narrative that's pushed, whether it be by 88 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:27,800 Speaker 1: social media or the external things that everybody sees, that's 89 00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:30,800 Speaker 1: just not real. You know, everybody lives real lives, and 90 00:04:30,839 --> 00:04:33,960 Speaker 1: even though certain people are put on pedestals where they 91 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:38,080 Speaker 1: are um you know, expected to be just perfect, I 92 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:41,320 Speaker 1: think come that comes with a pressure where people are 93 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:44,160 Speaker 1: more outside in the inside out than ever before. And 94 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:47,719 Speaker 1: this is about being inside out. This is about relationships, 95 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:50,280 Speaker 1: the character that you have and being able to know 96 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:52,800 Speaker 1: that a you know, life is about being able to 97 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:55,920 Speaker 1: handle the ebbs and flows. Nothing is perfect, but also 98 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,400 Speaker 1: being willing to say, you know what, I'm having a 99 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,080 Speaker 1: tough time with this, and what an exhale comes with 100 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:03,560 Speaker 1: that when in a lot of instances, those people that 101 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:06,120 Speaker 1: you're saying, man, they never have that when you actually 102 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:08,320 Speaker 1: open up to them, they're saying, you know, I'm feeling 103 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,640 Speaker 1: the same thing. And that provides a relief and an 104 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,680 Speaker 1: ability for people to be able to lean on each other. 105 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 1: And I think in a lot of instances, allowing people 106 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:19,120 Speaker 1: to be human. You know that there there's this narrative 107 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 1: that I think people have to be perfect and that's 108 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:24,440 Speaker 1: just that's not real that that leads to a life 109 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,919 Speaker 1: that I don't think it's fulfilling. But acknowledging that and 110 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 1: then being able to use the people that you're around 111 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,640 Speaker 1: to be able to provide that support structure, like what 112 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:35,560 Speaker 1: you've done for so many people, is what allows you 113 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,159 Speaker 1: to be able to overcome those things. Acknowledge it, and 114 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:40,680 Speaker 1: then let's attack it the right way. And that's what 115 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:42,360 Speaker 1: we try to do with our guys. And I think 116 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:45,440 Speaker 1: it's I think it's very very unrealistic to not expect 117 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:47,799 Speaker 1: people to have bad moments, But how do we prevent 118 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:51,240 Speaker 1: those bad moments from turning into bad days? And that's 119 00:05:51,279 --> 00:05:55,000 Speaker 1: being there for somebody, being unconditional, letting people know that 120 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:57,040 Speaker 1: you love them no matter what and you're gonna be 121 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,240 Speaker 1: there to help put your arm around them. How do 122 00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:01,320 Speaker 1: you get your guys to trust the people on the 123 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 1: team thought to talk about this, I think the vulnerability, 124 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,000 Speaker 1: I think the acknowledgement to be starting, Hey, you have 125 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:09,960 Speaker 1: my own insecurities, my different things. You know. One of 126 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,760 Speaker 1: the things that we've talked about this a lot, and 127 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:14,320 Speaker 1: you know me a lot better than most. And you know, 128 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 1: sometimes you're innately thrust into a leadership role where, hey, 129 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:19,080 Speaker 1: it takes a lot of time to be able to 130 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,640 Speaker 1: get yourself to those positions where when you get up 131 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:24,039 Speaker 1: in front of the guys, you believe, Hey, this is 132 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:26,560 Speaker 1: how we're gonna overcome that resilientce you know, some of 133 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:29,440 Speaker 1: that adversity that we face. But getting to that point 134 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:31,480 Speaker 1: can be a struggle. And I think in a lot 135 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:34,640 Speaker 1: of instances acknowledging to the players and hey, while I 136 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:37,440 Speaker 1: feel a very big responsibility to help and set the 137 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,320 Speaker 1: tone for you guys and being a resilient leader, I 138 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,760 Speaker 1: have my own insecurities and flaws as well, and to 139 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,000 Speaker 1: not you know, to be so naive to think that 140 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:48,559 Speaker 1: those things aren't real. You know, I think you lose 141 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:51,000 Speaker 1: guys if you don't acknowledge that. And I think that's 142 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,279 Speaker 1: been a big thing that's brought our team together, where 143 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:56,360 Speaker 1: we've got such special people and you really know our 144 00:06:56,400 --> 00:07:00,640 Speaker 1: group really well, Jay, But perfection, No, nobody's perfect. And 145 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,720 Speaker 1: I think one of the things is the accountability the 146 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:06,600 Speaker 1: vulnerability that shared, whether it be for myself or coaches 147 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:10,440 Speaker 1: are team leaders, I think that helps create and cultivate 148 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:13,720 Speaker 1: an atmosphere and environment that's conducive for for real ship 149 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:15,680 Speaker 1: to occur, you know, for you to be able to 150 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 1: really work through adversity and acknowledge the things that you know. 151 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 1: It used to be, Oh, you can't say that because 152 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:24,040 Speaker 1: now you're not this perfect guy. I think their strengthen 153 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:26,280 Speaker 1: the vulnerability. Like I've said over and over in these 154 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,480 Speaker 1: first few minutes, and that was one of the reasons 155 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:30,960 Speaker 1: why I think we've gotten so close, is because I 156 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:35,640 Speaker 1: love the fact that, hey, you are this tough, maniac, hardwired, 157 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 1: driven guy that communicates brings people together all the different stuff, 158 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,720 Speaker 1: whether it's to fight, background the relationships you build in 159 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:46,120 Speaker 1: the NFL, you know, but that willingness is why so 160 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,720 Speaker 1: many people are drawn to you to be able to say, hey, 161 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:51,679 Speaker 1: I'm not perfect, you know, but I am still gonna 162 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:54,160 Speaker 1: be myself and we all have our things that we 163 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:56,520 Speaker 1: work through. And I think that that that bonds people, 164 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:58,520 Speaker 1: and that brings people together, and that's what you've done. 165 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,000 Speaker 1: And I don't want to it real with you here 166 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,720 Speaker 1: because when we first had the conversation, do you remember, 167 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:06,640 Speaker 1: you didn't get it right, You didn't really understand the 168 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:08,840 Speaker 1: depression anxiety. And your question to me was, wait, so 169 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:11,720 Speaker 1: you just wake up? Said why do you remember? My 170 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:15,440 Speaker 1: answer to you, yeah, I do remember, and I think 171 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:18,280 Speaker 1: in a lot of instances, what with the specific one 172 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:22,480 Speaker 1: line answer, yeah, I mean we've talked about this a lot. 173 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 1: There's you have a lot of ways of describing this. 174 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:26,880 Speaker 1: I have depression anxiety and that's all. That's what I 175 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:30,120 Speaker 1: said that you said, no, no, I get that, but 176 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:33,080 Speaker 1: but fill me up. What I was asking is what 177 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:35,520 Speaker 1: do you think led to it? You know, because in 178 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:37,719 Speaker 1: a lot of instances, you know, some of the things 179 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:40,000 Speaker 1: that I've worked through are all right, well, what is 180 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:41,960 Speaker 1: the root of it? How do we attack the problem? 181 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:45,440 Speaker 1: We're always solution oriented, and what you helped me, you know, 182 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:48,120 Speaker 1: have an understanding for, is that there's sometimes it's just 183 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:51,319 Speaker 1: things with the way that we're innately hard wired that hey, man, 184 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:53,400 Speaker 1: I don't ever choose to feel this way, but this 185 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 1: is how I feel, you know, And I think educating 186 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:59,920 Speaker 1: yourself on feeling and knowing are two totally different things. 187 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:01,839 Speaker 1: You know, Hey, I don't want to be this way, 188 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:04,760 Speaker 1: but I feel this way and those emotions are strong, 189 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:07,320 Speaker 1: and in a lot of instances, I think when we 190 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,640 Speaker 1: go back to those conversations a couple of years ago, 191 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:11,559 Speaker 1: you know, you're still maturing as a man, and I 192 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,520 Speaker 1: don't even know if I was secure enough at that 193 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:16,240 Speaker 1: point to acknowledge that, Yeah, in some form or fashion, 194 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:18,680 Speaker 1: you have those feelings. You know, I'm talking about myself, 195 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,920 Speaker 1: But you know, is there really the security and the 196 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:25,200 Speaker 1: comfort to be able to acknowledge, like, hey, there's times too, man, 197 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:28,080 Speaker 1: where I'm not feeling great myself, you know, whether it 198 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:30,679 Speaker 1: be because of the stresses of the job or whatever 199 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:33,719 Speaker 1: you have going on, because you want everything to kind 200 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:36,760 Speaker 1: of be in order. But I think just continuing to 201 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:40,120 Speaker 1: mature and acknowledge that these are real emotions that people feel, 202 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,600 Speaker 1: some stronger than others, and being able to have that 203 00:09:42,679 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 1: empathy and understanding when you have people like you that 204 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:48,000 Speaker 1: are such close friends of mine, has certainly helped me 205 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,160 Speaker 1: in a lot of ways be able to connect with 206 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,040 Speaker 1: people in an authentic manner and then also be able 207 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:55,960 Speaker 1: to help, you know, overcome some of the temporary things 208 00:09:55,960 --> 00:10:00,079 Speaker 1: where you're not feeling so good yourself talking about me. Yeah, no. 209 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,160 Speaker 1: And you know it's interesting because you just said it. 210 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,720 Speaker 1: You said I didn't know if I was secure enough 211 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,720 Speaker 1: to talk about it back then, right, And that night 212 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:08,560 Speaker 1: I was like, hey, Sean, you don't You may not 213 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:11,000 Speaker 1: get it because your I said, your life is like 214 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:14,160 Speaker 1: a nightlight, like your your parents look like the people 215 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:15,880 Speaker 1: who you who are in the picture frames you buy 216 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:18,040 Speaker 1: from Target. And the worst thing that ever happened to 217 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:20,360 Speaker 1: you is you didn't win the super Bowl in your 218 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:22,560 Speaker 1: second year as young as that coach. Ever, I'm like, 219 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 1: you may not get this because you don't have the 220 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:26,360 Speaker 1: same childhood drama that a lot of other people have. 221 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:31,040 Speaker 1: But the evolution last year when you struggled. Last year 222 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:33,680 Speaker 1: you went over November, you struggle, and that's the first 223 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,839 Speaker 1: time I think you turned to some of your boys. 224 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:39,200 Speaker 1: You turned to me, you turned to Andrew Whitworth, you 225 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:41,080 Speaker 1: turned to a lot of us, and for the first 226 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:43,800 Speaker 1: time you're like, alright, I'm sucked up right now. I 227 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:48,760 Speaker 1: need some help instead of just carrying it on yourself. Yeah, 228 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:52,120 Speaker 1: I totally agree, And I think so much of you know, 229 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:54,920 Speaker 1: some of the own internal pressure or stress that I 230 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:57,960 Speaker 1: put on myself was when I was too reliant on 231 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,640 Speaker 1: the outside in narrative. You know, it was way more 232 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:02,920 Speaker 1: about me than I'd ever like to admit. In terms 233 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,400 Speaker 1: of your ego getting in the way and that leading 234 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:08,400 Speaker 1: to insecurity. And then what you really realize is, hey, 235 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:11,240 Speaker 1: these feelings and things like that, it's okay to feel it, 236 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:14,440 Speaker 1: but let's really unpack them and understand, all right, well, 237 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,840 Speaker 1: why do you feel this way? And then when you 238 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:20,559 Speaker 1: realize it's about relationships, It's about being able to kind 239 00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:22,760 Speaker 1: of be there for people when they need you the most, 240 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:26,120 Speaker 1: and it's not about your selfish ambitions. Are worried about 241 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,640 Speaker 1: your ego getting in the way, That to me has 242 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:31,160 Speaker 1: been the most helpful thing when it became more about 243 00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:34,240 Speaker 1: leaning on people like you, leaning on the staffords. The 244 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:36,960 Speaker 1: wit worse are coaches or heat worse for shure, you 245 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,920 Speaker 1: know those kind of guys and no one that a 246 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,679 Speaker 1: What really matters is the people that are unconditional in 247 00:11:42,679 --> 00:11:44,200 Speaker 1: your life. But I know a lot of my own 248 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:48,200 Speaker 1: problems have come from a results oriented business that is 249 00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:51,080 Speaker 1: so highly scrutinized. And then you come in as an 250 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:54,120 Speaker 1: early coach, you know, you're almost naive to the fact 251 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 1: of what a great, big opportunity it is. And then 252 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:58,960 Speaker 1: you start to realize what's going on and you can 253 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:01,760 Speaker 1: let that insecure, you creep in if you're so reliant 254 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:05,480 Speaker 1: on your self worth is predicated on what the headlines say, 255 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:08,320 Speaker 1: and I think then you have a better understanding of man. 256 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:11,000 Speaker 1: Where you're really fulfilled is when you're being a real 257 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:14,760 Speaker 1: person that acknowledges the insecurities that we all face, but 258 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,400 Speaker 1: then being able to help people come through on the 259 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,520 Speaker 1: right side or lean on them to help you come 260 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,080 Speaker 1: out on the right side. Where it becomes a purpose 261 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:25,800 Speaker 1: driven life, about those relationships, about the character that you 262 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,040 Speaker 1: have in the way that you handle those toughest moments, 263 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:31,000 Speaker 1: and man, it it was. It was a tough time 264 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:33,480 Speaker 1: and I don't know that you can ever really replicate 265 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:36,000 Speaker 1: it when you're in those moments, because when you look 266 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:38,920 Speaker 1: back on it, it's easy to say, oh, yeah, you know, 267 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:41,600 Speaker 1: this is how we handled it. But I think you know, 268 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:44,800 Speaker 1: the people that are closest to me, Veronica, my wife, 269 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:48,040 Speaker 1: and and my family, you know they know that, Uh, 270 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:50,400 Speaker 1: it was definitely the right way that we handled it. 271 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:53,600 Speaker 1: But that doesn't mean what's simple is always easy. Yeah, 272 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,320 Speaker 1: but here, here's here's where you were great. Here's your difference, 273 00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:59,240 Speaker 1: right because two years ago you just would have and 274 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:02,880 Speaker 1: early on last year when we're talking about you're like 275 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:04,360 Speaker 1: no, no no, no, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm 276 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:06,760 Speaker 1: like no, right, I'm like, you're not good, bro, You're 277 00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:09,360 Speaker 1: not good, right, And I kept calling you to make 278 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:13,200 Speaker 1: sure you're okay, and you know, you were like, hey, 279 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 1: I don't think the guys can't even tell them struggling. 280 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:17,480 Speaker 1: And what you didn't know is like five year guys 281 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:19,560 Speaker 1: are calling and go, oh man, you gotta do something 282 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,320 Speaker 1: about your boy. You gotta help him at least just 283 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:23,160 Speaker 1: And then you and I had that talk. But where 284 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:26,840 Speaker 1: you changed as you started calling me, You started reaching 285 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:29,880 Speaker 1: out to help for me instead of me calling you constantly. 286 00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:32,679 Speaker 1: You acting like, oh no, I'm fine when you weren't fine, 287 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,400 Speaker 1: and you got up in front of the team. There's 288 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,640 Speaker 1: one time I remember, at the end of November, you 289 00:13:36,679 --> 00:13:38,400 Speaker 1: got up in front of the team and you finally 290 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,719 Speaker 1: opened up to them like, man, I'm struggling, and it 291 00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:45,280 Speaker 1: just I think change your whole dynamic with him. Yeah, 292 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:48,319 Speaker 1: I think you know. My natural inclination, you know all 293 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:50,680 Speaker 1: along is when you go through something, you know it's 294 00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:52,960 Speaker 1: your job as a man to solve the problems on 295 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,000 Speaker 1: your own, and you internalize it all and then you 296 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,440 Speaker 1: actually draw further away from the people that you need 297 00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:00,599 Speaker 1: to draw nearer to the opposite of curd when you 298 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,920 Speaker 1: actually handle it the right way. And I don't think 299 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:06,320 Speaker 1: it's by mistake that good things resulted as a you know, 300 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:10,560 Speaker 1: you know, in response to leaning on people more acknowledging 301 00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:13,280 Speaker 1: some of those things where hey, you can still be 302 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:15,960 Speaker 1: a strong leader and actually even a stronger leader by 303 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,719 Speaker 1: acknowledging the real emotions that you're feeling. That doesn't make 304 00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:21,200 Speaker 1: you weak, that actually makes you strong. And I thought 305 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:24,280 Speaker 1: that was really demonstrated by whether it's you, you know, 306 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,760 Speaker 1: I see, you know, some of my closest friends, whether 307 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:29,160 Speaker 1: they're on the coaching staff or even some of our players, 308 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,960 Speaker 1: that are great representatives of embodying that type of mindset 309 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:35,840 Speaker 1: and mentality. And man, does that come with a comfort 310 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:39,200 Speaker 1: because all these things, all these emotions that you know, 311 00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:41,320 Speaker 1: and you've said this before, and I love the fact 312 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:44,280 Speaker 1: that you said, hey, people might have different problems, but 313 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:47,280 Speaker 1: they all weigh the same to them and acknowledging that, 314 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:50,680 Speaker 1: being empathetic to it, acknowledging your own things, and then 315 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:53,320 Speaker 1: how you can band together. And that's really what the 316 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:57,360 Speaker 1: preface of Unbreakable has been. Everything that you stand for 317 00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:00,440 Speaker 1: is bringing people together understanding that the some is greater 318 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:03,120 Speaker 1: than the parts, and you know, and that to me 319 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:05,760 Speaker 1: is what life's about. That's what team sports are about, 320 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:08,560 Speaker 1: that's what friendships and you know. And it all goes 321 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:11,400 Speaker 1: back to being able to, you know, do these things 322 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,960 Speaker 1: together with people, but not be naive to the fact 323 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:17,080 Speaker 1: that and this is hard stuff and real stuff. And 324 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:20,520 Speaker 1: I really want our audience to really hear what he 325 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:23,560 Speaker 1: just said, all our problems were the same or while 326 00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:25,760 Speaker 1: it's or not antidepressants. You may sit at home right 327 00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:27,560 Speaker 1: now and go, oh, come on, is the head coach 328 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:30,120 Speaker 1: of the Rams guys making millions and millions right now? 329 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:31,680 Speaker 1: Just from on the true but what kind of problems 330 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,000 Speaker 1: does he have? Lest we all got problems? Right if 331 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:36,800 Speaker 1: we didn't If if if our wallet and fame were 332 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:41,120 Speaker 1: an antidepressants, and then celebrities wouldn't commit suicide, right the 333 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,240 Speaker 1: rich and famous wouldn't kill themselves. And we see it 334 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:46,200 Speaker 1: all the time. So it really is I want people 335 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,720 Speaker 1: to understand, no matter who you are, we all faced 336 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:52,520 Speaker 1: those issues. And it's interesting because one of the things 337 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,360 Speaker 1: I have in the book Away Through the Grade of 338 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:58,120 Speaker 1: the Blue is to have a team right to have 339 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:01,520 Speaker 1: a team, but as a head coach, it's so hard 340 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,600 Speaker 1: to use that pillar to get to the blue or 341 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:07,520 Speaker 1: here you have fifty three guys and you're younger, so 342 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:11,160 Speaker 1: they're kind of like your peers right in that locker room, 343 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:15,200 Speaker 1: a bunch of how many coaches have twenty plus twenty 344 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:18,440 Speaker 1: plus coaches right, all these people in the building, and 345 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:21,600 Speaker 1: yet instead of leaning into your team, you isolated more 346 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:25,440 Speaker 1: and more. That's when I've been at my worst. I've 347 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:27,760 Speaker 1: done that, you know. But I think when you start 348 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:30,680 Speaker 1: to learn about it, uh, you start to understand better 349 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:32,920 Speaker 1: how to you know whether it's even just a mature 350 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:36,320 Speaker 1: and as a man, how to how to handle things better. Um, 351 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:38,240 Speaker 1: that's what it's always about. And I think the biggest 352 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:41,320 Speaker 1: thing too, though, is is like you say, different problems, 353 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,920 Speaker 1: I think people acknowledge and come about it in their 354 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,960 Speaker 1: own timing as well, Like it's got to be on 355 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,480 Speaker 1: their timing. And that's what I've learned, is like you 356 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:51,240 Speaker 1: want to be consistent and know, whether it's players or coaches, 357 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:54,280 Speaker 1: you are there for them. Some guys, as soon as 358 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:57,240 Speaker 1: you acknowledge you know certain certain things, you know, it's 359 00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:59,080 Speaker 1: like they can't wait for you to ask that so 360 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:02,160 Speaker 1: that they can really just exhale and pour in and 361 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,119 Speaker 1: be able to really let you know what's going on. 362 00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:06,679 Speaker 1: And that might happen the first time. There's other guys 363 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:09,120 Speaker 1: that you've got to patiently let them come about it 364 00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:11,960 Speaker 1: in their own way. And and I think that was 365 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:15,200 Speaker 1: probably where, uh, it took a little bit more time 366 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:17,159 Speaker 1: for me to be able to open up about the 367 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,680 Speaker 1: things that you know, I've had trouble with. Whether it's 368 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:22,840 Speaker 1: acknowledging just some of the own insecurities that you have, 369 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,760 Speaker 1: you know, whether you say it's oppression, whatever, these are 370 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:28,680 Speaker 1: real emotions that are very strong in your internal being 371 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:30,919 Speaker 1: that are not pleasant. You know. I don't know if 372 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:32,679 Speaker 1: it's the gray, but I know it ain't the blue, 373 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:38,560 Speaker 1: and uh, you know, and you know, and they you know, hey, 374 00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:41,280 Speaker 1: it's it's a true thing. But you know, for me, 375 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:43,879 Speaker 1: it's just knowing that, you know. I think what's so 376 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:48,440 Speaker 1: rare about you, Jay, is you're so willing to share everything. 377 00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:51,119 Speaker 1: And that's such a great example because of the platform 378 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:54,000 Speaker 1: that you have and how you're utilizing it. But just 379 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,800 Speaker 1: because this is something that's made you so unique and special, 380 00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:58,919 Speaker 1: it doesn't mean the other people that are struggling with 381 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:01,280 Speaker 1: this need to feel like all right, I'm gonna come 382 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:04,359 Speaker 1: out with this immediately. It's on your time, and on 383 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,200 Speaker 1: your time you gonna be able to have the appropriate 384 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:11,520 Speaker 1: healing mechanisms and established that armor because you know, it's 385 00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:13,480 Speaker 1: not like. One of the things that I've learned from 386 00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:16,800 Speaker 1: you that's been really helpful is you know, it's not like, Okay, hey, 387 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:20,560 Speaker 1: I'm having and everything's going great. Men the blue all right, 388 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,600 Speaker 1: And that means now you're just in the blue forever, 389 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,520 Speaker 1: you know, Okay, How do we handle when that goes 390 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,199 Speaker 1: back down and you're not feeling good? How are we 391 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,240 Speaker 1: equipped with the knowledge the ability to own it but 392 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,320 Speaker 1: then be able to get back to where we want 393 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,760 Speaker 1: to be. Those are the things that I think people 394 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:39,520 Speaker 1: are most interested in learning from you. Well, I want 395 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:41,680 Speaker 1: people to understand also, Sean, I've been friends for a while, 396 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:46,000 Speaker 1: are really good friends. But I turned to him with 397 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:49,280 Speaker 1: my own mental health issues and he's turned to me 398 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:52,240 Speaker 1: with his, and it's gotten us closer. Neither one of 399 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:54,440 Speaker 1: us have told us to suck it up. I haven't 400 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:56,640 Speaker 1: told Sean, oh, stop showing your life's great, just get 401 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:59,399 Speaker 1: over it. So what you're losing, right, now he's not 402 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:01,639 Speaker 1: told me all Jay, your life is great. Stop pitching 403 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:05,120 Speaker 1: and winding doesn't happen. So the opposite has happened. We've 404 00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:07,880 Speaker 1: gotten closer because of the vulnerability, and I want people 405 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:10,720 Speaker 1: at home to understand that everybody I've opened up to, 406 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:13,240 Speaker 1: it has gotten us closer together. So the more you 407 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:15,680 Speaker 1: open up to people, the more it's gonna draw you in. 408 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:20,320 Speaker 1: But for you, sean where you're in a unique position, 409 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:22,480 Speaker 1: and there's a lot of people out there, and I 410 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:25,560 Speaker 1: guess probably, uh, there's some people in a similar position, 411 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:28,439 Speaker 1: but maybe maybe now as a football coach, But the 412 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:32,560 Speaker 1: leader needs to take everybody else, right, who takes care 413 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:35,960 Speaker 1: of the leader? Well, I think for me, it's it's 414 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,200 Speaker 1: where we've been able to create, you know. It's it's 415 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,919 Speaker 1: friends like you. It's my wife Veronica, Its my parents, 416 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:44,080 Speaker 1: Tim and Cindy, my family, you know. And I really 417 00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:46,520 Speaker 1: look at it as we've got people, whether it's coaches 418 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:49,199 Speaker 1: or staff members, you know, the Reggie Scotts of the 419 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:52,320 Speaker 1: world or Em Morris. I mentioned Chris Shewlett, where you 420 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:55,520 Speaker 1: can really lean on these guys and your players, you know. 421 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,640 Speaker 1: One of the most helpful things, honestly, that was probably 422 00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:02,600 Speaker 1: a game changing conversation is you know, I don't know 423 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:05,040 Speaker 1: how you would categorize and maybe you know this, You know, 424 00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:08,040 Speaker 1: what are different levels of negative feelings that you have? 425 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,520 Speaker 1: You know, I I don't know if there's a specific criteria, 426 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,119 Speaker 1: but I know that certain emotions are not pleasant. And 427 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:16,720 Speaker 1: when you're going through some of the things that we 428 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:19,240 Speaker 1: went through last year and some of the outside in 429 00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:22,960 Speaker 1: narratives with myself and Matthew Stafford, we became really close friends. 430 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,399 Speaker 1: And one of the most powerful conversations I've ever had 431 00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:29,919 Speaker 1: with really anybody as it relates to just handling adversity 432 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,720 Speaker 1: was when he and I after we had had that 433 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,560 Speaker 1: tough month of November, we lose all three games that 434 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:38,399 Speaker 1: coincided with the bye, We're getting ready for Jacksonville that 435 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:41,080 Speaker 1: next week, and I think it was you know, it 436 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,280 Speaker 1: never felt like it was too much, but man, it 437 00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,160 Speaker 1: was a lot, and it was okay for us to say, 438 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,280 Speaker 1: you know, this has been a challenge, but let's not 439 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:51,000 Speaker 1: forget about leaning on each other, enjoying this leading the 440 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,359 Speaker 1: way that we know we're capable of and let the 441 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,440 Speaker 1: chips fall where they may. And I know a lot 442 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,840 Speaker 1: of the insecurities and the bad emotions that I was 443 00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:00,920 Speaker 1: feeling at the time came from me in more outside 444 00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:03,440 Speaker 1: in the inside out, and I don't think it's a joy. 445 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:06,280 Speaker 1: Go ahead, and you're saying forgetting the joy, you're forgetting 446 00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:08,720 Speaker 1: the joy of it, you know, And and then you 447 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:11,800 Speaker 1: really start worrying about all right, well, okay, where does 448 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:14,359 Speaker 1: myself worth come into play because we're not winning? And 449 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,919 Speaker 1: then you feel responsible and all that kind of stuff. 450 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,520 Speaker 1: And and then, like I was saying earlier, you unpack it. 451 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,600 Speaker 1: And man, there's a piece that comes with unpacking those 452 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:25,119 Speaker 1: emotions that hey, it's okay to feel that way, but 453 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:28,520 Speaker 1: when you really do acknowledge what's going on, is that 454 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,560 Speaker 1: really real? Or are those your insecurities on things that 455 00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:34,480 Speaker 1: do you really care about what people that don't know 456 00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:37,480 Speaker 1: you or what or or have any opinion about what 457 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:39,840 Speaker 1: they think outside in other than the people that are 458 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,600 Speaker 1: in a position to care about you unconditionally to know 459 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:45,399 Speaker 1: what really matters. And that's how you pour into people, 460 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:48,240 Speaker 1: that's how you try to help them work through different things. 461 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,440 Speaker 1: And with that, I think just came a piece And 462 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,560 Speaker 1: it doesn't mean that it's forever that piece, but it's 463 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:58,000 Speaker 1: using those things to draw back on and to say, man, 464 00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:01,160 Speaker 1: those are the times where is showing to come out 465 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:04,120 Speaker 1: of it, and it's just don't lose the hope that hey, 466 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:08,680 Speaker 1: this is not finality, this is temporary. If we use 467 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,320 Speaker 1: the things that we know, we're capable of the people 468 00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:14,960 Speaker 1: that were around and really unpacking these emotions to help 469 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,560 Speaker 1: us get to a place that I think everybody deserves 470 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:19,480 Speaker 1: to be in. And I think a lot of this 471 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,000 Speaker 1: mental health stuff and you correct me if I'm wrong, 472 00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:24,720 Speaker 1: not not all of it, and you're much better equipped 473 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:28,080 Speaker 1: to to articulated. Jay comes from this outside in the 474 00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:31,080 Speaker 1: arative narrative that is pushed that people think they have 475 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:34,040 Speaker 1: to be something that just isn't true or real. Absolutely, 476 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,679 Speaker 1: that's what social media does. And that's where like for 477 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:39,639 Speaker 1: me talking about mental health, I'm clinical. This is the 478 00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:41,639 Speaker 1: only memory I have from a little kid on. So 479 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:43,880 Speaker 1: I got taken to a therapist when I was four 480 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:47,199 Speaker 1: by my parents, Like so heaven back then they're like, hey, 481 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:50,840 Speaker 1: you're screwed up. Um, so mind's clinical. But for the 482 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:53,200 Speaker 1: rest of the world, let me ask you this because 483 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,760 Speaker 1: this is going on, because I'm not interrupted. I want 484 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:58,840 Speaker 1: to hear your perspective on this. So how would you 485 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,800 Speaker 1: articulate to the audience knowing that A. You know, I've 486 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,240 Speaker 1: shared some of the struggles being in a leadership role 487 00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:07,479 Speaker 1: where you worry about things that really don't matter, and 488 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,119 Speaker 1: that creates these negative emotions. And then you talk about 489 00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:14,240 Speaker 1: the clinical approaches, how do people even though they're negative emotions, 490 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:18,760 Speaker 1: you know, how would you describe the difference and knowing A. 491 00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:21,600 Speaker 1: I once clinical one is just you know, some of 492 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,600 Speaker 1: the insecurities, like how do people cope with that? Because 493 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,800 Speaker 1: there's still a similar bad feeling. But what's the difference 494 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:30,880 Speaker 1: in your mind between those two? So you know one 495 00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:33,639 Speaker 1: is again I think you know there's different tosses between 496 00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:37,320 Speaker 1: problems and mental health issues depression anxiety. Right, So a 497 00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:40,280 Speaker 1: lot of times people have problems like I'm so depressed, 498 00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:42,560 Speaker 1: Well you're you're depressed because you have these problems, or 499 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:46,000 Speaker 1: you may not suffer from depression. I suffer from depression anxiety. 500 00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:48,960 Speaker 1: When things are great, I still may feel like this 501 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:50,359 Speaker 1: morning was hard for me to get out of bed. 502 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:52,920 Speaker 1: Every morning it's hard for me to get out of bed. 503 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:55,880 Speaker 1: It's never not but I make that decision, and once 504 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,560 Speaker 1: I make that decision get out of bed, I'm gonna 505 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:01,239 Speaker 1: be relentless. I'm gonna be lentless in life. That's it, 506 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:03,119 Speaker 1: because I'm not gonna let this fucking gray beat me. 507 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:05,760 Speaker 1: That's that. But the other part is what you're saying, 508 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,280 Speaker 1: And I think we all are feeling the depression or 509 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:13,600 Speaker 1: anxiety because those outside influences that you're talking about. Social 510 00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:16,359 Speaker 1: media makes all us think our lives suck, right, we 511 00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:19,000 Speaker 1: and thank god you're not on it, right, And I've 512 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,040 Speaker 1: talked to you about it, like, just make sure you 513 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:23,520 Speaker 1: don't do it, because all of a sudden, I've seen 514 00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:26,120 Speaker 1: enough stuff random about me that hurts my feelings. Right. 515 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:28,480 Speaker 1: That's and by the way, you said it right there, 516 00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:31,600 Speaker 1: it does hurt your feelings, right. People think you're absolutely 517 00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:34,480 Speaker 1: people like, ah, hey he's rich and famous. It comes 518 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:37,359 Speaker 1: with the territory. Fuck that people. We have feelings and 519 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:40,560 Speaker 1: because we're more emotional, that helped us get to where 520 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:44,000 Speaker 1: we are, right. So I think people at home also, 521 00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:48,680 Speaker 1: like you know, social media, Like we look at Instagram 522 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:54,399 Speaker 1: and we're comparing ourselves to everybody else's filtered fraction of 523 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,920 Speaker 1: a second. It's not even a full second of one day, 524 00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,200 Speaker 1: and we're going, man, how come I'm not at that party? 525 00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:01,840 Speaker 1: Why am so left out. How came my food doesn't 526 00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:04,159 Speaker 1: look like that? And we think our lives suck and 527 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:06,520 Speaker 1: we're talking the most successful people in the world. They 528 00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:08,480 Speaker 1: look at that and it sucks for their brains. I 529 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:11,640 Speaker 1: think my life sucks. Or like man, when we're growing 530 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:14,359 Speaker 1: up and we got bullied on the playground, it fucking 531 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:17,640 Speaker 1: sucked for a month. I grew up with the Jersey Shore, 532 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:19,879 Speaker 1: so it fucks sucked. It sucked for a while. Okay, 533 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:25,399 Speaker 1: And now that's that's why such a bully, which was 534 00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:29,520 Speaker 1: what Sean calls me, by the way, um and uh 535 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:35,359 Speaker 1: and one of my exes and uh and uh wait 536 00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:38,800 Speaker 1: wait wait wait real quick here, but Twitter, we see 537 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,760 Speaker 1: it at that. We get bullied a thousand times a second, right, 538 00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:44,680 Speaker 1: it never ends, and it's just this baras of negativity. 539 00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:46,680 Speaker 1: But you just said it, and I want people to 540 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:48,760 Speaker 1: really hear because you kind almost threw it away. When 541 00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:51,840 Speaker 1: you hear bad stuff about you, okay, and you're not 542 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:53,880 Speaker 1: on Twitter. If you see a bad tweet, we see 543 00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:57,040 Speaker 1: bad tweets about us. It fucking hurts. It sucks when 544 00:25:57,040 --> 00:26:01,000 Speaker 1: you hear bad stuff about you. It hurts you. Yeah, no, no, 545 00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:04,120 Speaker 1: no matter how resilient and stuff like that it does 546 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:06,760 Speaker 1: affect you in some form or fashion, and that's why 547 00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:09,840 Speaker 1: you want to be, you know, a cognizant of how 548 00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:12,160 Speaker 1: do you put good stuff in your being? But going back, 549 00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,720 Speaker 1: here's here's my question for you, because that is a 550 00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:16,720 Speaker 1: very real thing, and it leads me into my question. 551 00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:19,639 Speaker 1: You said something though about you wake up this morning 552 00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,520 Speaker 1: you felt a grave but you knew when I got 553 00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:24,800 Speaker 1: out of bed, I'm gonna be relentless, and the way 554 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:27,680 Speaker 1: that I approached my day. I think there's a lot 555 00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:29,800 Speaker 1: to be said for that. You know what, I don't 556 00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:31,960 Speaker 1: want to be, you know, I don't want to speak 557 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,760 Speaker 1: out of place in terms of okay, what did doctors say? 558 00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:36,840 Speaker 1: But but I'm a big believer in this, you know. 559 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:39,879 Speaker 1: I think the power of your mind and the power 560 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:43,120 Speaker 1: of the external people that you surround yourself with has 561 00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:46,560 Speaker 1: a huge influence on how the quality of your life 562 00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:49,240 Speaker 1: is felt, if you really are living in the right ways. 563 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:52,359 Speaker 1: What I mean by that is this, like I think 564 00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:55,960 Speaker 1: that almost the majority of the events that occur in 565 00:26:56,000 --> 00:27:00,119 Speaker 1: our life all are out of our control. However it 566 00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,040 Speaker 1: is in our control is our response to those events 567 00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:06,640 Speaker 1: and how that dictates and determines what the outcome is 568 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,600 Speaker 1: based on your response you had. You said you woke 569 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:14,439 Speaker 1: up with the gray, I chose to be relentless. You 570 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:16,399 Speaker 1: seem like you're doing a heck of a job in 571 00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:19,720 Speaker 1: your first podcast right here, seemed like you know, you 572 00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:21,800 Speaker 1: got that zest for life with the guy that I 573 00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:24,200 Speaker 1: know most of the you know, when I'm around you, 574 00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:27,200 Speaker 1: How do you challenge people that are going through those 575 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:31,439 Speaker 1: same things to make that choice and it really be 576 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,480 Speaker 1: able to be that way? Because I know for me, 577 00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:37,159 Speaker 1: I've never regretted when I've made those choices. But is 578 00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,040 Speaker 1: there a difference in your mind and the people that 579 00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:41,920 Speaker 1: say usually this is a result of you know, actions 580 00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,199 Speaker 1: or sometimes I just wake up feeling that way, And 581 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:46,719 Speaker 1: what's the difference in allowing this to be a strengthening 582 00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:51,680 Speaker 1: mechanism and then also the people you're around. So I'll 583 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:54,040 Speaker 1: use sports analogy for this, right And I just talked 584 00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:58,160 Speaker 1: about this to the to the Vikings and the USFL. 585 00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,280 Speaker 1: Thanks for talking to the ramps. There you go, Hey, 586 00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:07,200 Speaker 1: thanks for asking. Um still waiting for the invite. Mental 587 00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:11,560 Speaker 1: health is too reactive right now? You don't just like 588 00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:14,600 Speaker 1: you don't have Cooper Cup only catch passes if he 589 00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:16,360 Speaker 1: has the drops, which, by the way, he never does, 590 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,600 Speaker 1: but let's just say he did. He don't. He doesn't 591 00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:21,000 Speaker 1: only catch passes if he has the drops right you, 592 00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:23,960 Speaker 1: Stafford doesn't long throw passes when his accuracy is off. 593 00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:27,359 Speaker 1: You constantly do it. But usually we only help our 594 00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:30,760 Speaker 1: mental health when the sky is falling. Therapists usually get 595 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:32,800 Speaker 1: us when when when it's too late, right when the 596 00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:35,200 Speaker 1: sky has already fallen. So we need to start doing 597 00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:38,720 Speaker 1: it now. So now you know, find things that will 598 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:40,640 Speaker 1: help you on a daily basis. So I wake up 599 00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:43,280 Speaker 1: now and I learned and and this. I'm gonna explain 600 00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:46,040 Speaker 1: this in great depth over the course of these podcasts 601 00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:47,920 Speaker 1: because each week I'm gonna have a guest on, but 602 00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,200 Speaker 1: I'm also gonna have other podcasts where it's just me 603 00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:52,840 Speaker 1: kind of explaining and how I feel that day, but 604 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:55,240 Speaker 1: also some things that get me through it. But now, 605 00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:57,400 Speaker 1: before I do any before I ever look at my 606 00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:00,640 Speaker 1: phone in the morning, I make that decision. I get 607 00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:02,360 Speaker 1: up and I do fifteen minutes of breath work that 608 00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:04,560 Speaker 1: I learned over in Thailand. I do ten minutes of 609 00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:06,960 Speaker 1: meditation that I learned how to do over there. I 610 00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:10,240 Speaker 1: wrote this gratitude list, so I look at things that 611 00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:12,880 Speaker 1: I'm grateful for before I ever look at my phone 612 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:15,400 Speaker 1: that day, right, So that's a half hour. That's a win. 613 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,760 Speaker 1: That's a better way than it was for me, you know, 614 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,160 Speaker 1: a month ago before I learned these things. But my 615 00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:23,600 Speaker 1: point is is, I'm constantly working at the same way 616 00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:26,400 Speaker 1: I constantly work in the gym. I'm constantly working on 617 00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:28,400 Speaker 1: my mental health. How can I improve it? Because I 618 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,800 Speaker 1: know it's gonna be an uphill battle. And people think, 619 00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:33,040 Speaker 1: and by the way, again, people think, well, fuck, you've 620 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:37,400 Speaker 1: You've made it. When I made it, it was not 621 00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:40,160 Speaker 1: rainbows and unicorns. I thought it was. I thought it 622 00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:41,720 Speaker 1: was gonna be like man, because I don't know how 623 00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:44,960 Speaker 1: to get love from the inside out. It's motivated me 624 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:46,680 Speaker 1: to do all these great things from the outside in 625 00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:50,680 Speaker 1: and you know, to get all this outside love. And 626 00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:53,440 Speaker 1: I thought once I made it, man, my problems would end. 627 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:55,840 Speaker 1: It just doesn't happen that way. It's not like the 628 00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:58,120 Speaker 1: In fact, a lot of times, the more successful you 629 00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:01,480 Speaker 1: out you are that a whole another set of problems 630 00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:03,920 Speaker 1: along with it. And then you're horrified to lose it. 631 00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:06,800 Speaker 1: When you've got nothing, you're horrified to lose it, and 632 00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:10,160 Speaker 1: go back to having nothing. So I have to now 633 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,840 Speaker 1: work at it. I worked my ass off. I'm staying 634 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:16,960 Speaker 1: away out of the gray and in the blue. And 635 00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:20,840 Speaker 1: I now call people when I'm really struggling. And what 636 00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:23,480 Speaker 1: I'll do too is I'll call four people when I'm 637 00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:26,160 Speaker 1: really having those days and I'll say, man, I am 638 00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:30,640 Speaker 1: fucking struggling today, just to talk. And then and I 639 00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:32,520 Speaker 1: talked about having a team, and that's a team, Sean. 640 00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:36,280 Speaker 1: What also do is being of service helps me. I'll 641 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:39,520 Speaker 1: then call four other people just to check up on 642 00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:42,800 Speaker 1: them and not tell them that I'm struggling. And those 643 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:44,400 Speaker 1: are the things that helps me get out of it, 644 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:47,120 Speaker 1: get out of the gray. But again you're talking about 645 00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:50,200 Speaker 1: how do I prevent it? So I have all these 646 00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:51,800 Speaker 1: things that I do now in the morning, and I'm 647 00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:54,760 Speaker 1: gonna work in progress like I'm fucked up, and I'm 648 00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:57,240 Speaker 1: learning to be good with my fund upness, right, And 649 00:30:57,240 --> 00:30:59,280 Speaker 1: that's where we're gonna take this journey together, everybody on 650 00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:02,880 Speaker 1: this podcast together, We're gonna walk this walk together. But 651 00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:04,920 Speaker 1: you know, I'm now learning something to do at night. 652 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:07,680 Speaker 1: Also that's helping me as well. And I have three 653 00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:10,760 Speaker 1: different therapists that I use so it's a constant thing, 654 00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:12,800 Speaker 1: and I want people to understand that you gotta put 655 00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:15,200 Speaker 1: in just as much work with this as you would 656 00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:17,920 Speaker 1: at your job, as you would working out, as you 657 00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:20,640 Speaker 1: would whatever craft or whatever. How do you like, because 658 00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:24,520 Speaker 1: if you could shine between the ears and behind your 659 00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,160 Speaker 1: rib cage, it's gonna lift you up and everything else 660 00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:31,280 Speaker 1: you do. Yeah, that's such a good point, because you know, 661 00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:34,200 Speaker 1: when you talk about the quality of your mental health, 662 00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:36,600 Speaker 1: you know, regardless of whether or not people think they're 663 00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:38,280 Speaker 1: going through it, I think it's such a great point. 664 00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:40,320 Speaker 1: Like you want to stay in shape or you want 665 00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:43,160 Speaker 1: to be great at anything, Repetition is the mother of learning. 666 00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:45,600 Speaker 1: You gotta train it, you gotta work at it. If 667 00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:47,680 Speaker 1: you want it to be healthy. You know, you gotta 668 00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:50,560 Speaker 1: eat the right ways. And I think you know some 669 00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:53,080 Speaker 1: of the best times when I feel like you're sustained 670 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:55,120 Speaker 1: with that armor. There's really two things that are in 671 00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:57,400 Speaker 1: alignment for me. When you stay in a good place. 672 00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:01,280 Speaker 1: I'm always a hard wired, charging, very competitive guy that 673 00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:04,040 Speaker 1: has a lot of urgency and no patience. I I 674 00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:07,680 Speaker 1: understand that I know who you know. I I'm realizing 675 00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:10,560 Speaker 1: those things and that that lack of impatience can be 676 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:12,600 Speaker 1: a detriment, but it can be a strength. But I 677 00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:15,600 Speaker 1: know this to your point, Ja, there's really two things 678 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,479 Speaker 1: that are consistent. When I stay in a great place 679 00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:20,720 Speaker 1: and you end up saying, this is the kind of life, 680 00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:22,400 Speaker 1: and this is the kind of person I want to 681 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:24,040 Speaker 1: be to the people that I care about and I 682 00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:27,400 Speaker 1: love unconditionally, it's number one when you're working on those things, 683 00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:31,720 Speaker 1: whether it's the meditations, the reading, the center in yourself. 684 00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:33,840 Speaker 1: The steam is the way that I center myself to 685 00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:36,000 Speaker 1: begin the days. You know, or you kind of do 686 00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:38,840 Speaker 1: some breathing and you can't be reached by anybody else. 687 00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:42,200 Speaker 1: It's being able to get a workout, we're good, positive endorphins, 688 00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,840 Speaker 1: a release, and it's reading things that educates you on 689 00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:47,280 Speaker 1: all right. These are the things that equip you with 690 00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:50,479 Speaker 1: the strength to overcome those adversity. And then number two, 691 00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:53,800 Speaker 1: which is as important as anything, is surrounding yourself with 692 00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:56,840 Speaker 1: people that add to the quality of your life. Like 693 00:32:56,960 --> 00:33:00,200 Speaker 1: I believe so wholeheartedly that you become the comp any 694 00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:02,680 Speaker 1: you keep and when you surround yourself with people that 695 00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:06,400 Speaker 1: are positive influences, that are that half glass full, but 696 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:09,160 Speaker 1: that are also willing to acknowledge there's some struggles, but 697 00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:11,760 Speaker 1: they don't let that drag on because of that resilient 698 00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:14,320 Speaker 1: mindset and mentality they want to have. That to me 699 00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:17,400 Speaker 1: is when it leads to the best quality of life 700 00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:20,800 Speaker 1: and you're fulfilled because you're pouring into people. You're doing 701 00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:22,600 Speaker 1: it with people that you love, and like, I would 702 00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:25,160 Speaker 1: challenge people that are listening to this, you know, like 703 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:28,400 Speaker 1: really ask yourself, are you surrounding yourself with the kind 704 00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:31,480 Speaker 1: of people that are positive influences? Like I know, there's 705 00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:33,040 Speaker 1: been a lot of times in my life where I've 706 00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:35,600 Speaker 1: known people for a long time and it took me 707 00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:37,600 Speaker 1: a while to where you're saying, well, I've known them 708 00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:39,440 Speaker 1: for so long, but they're kind of always a dread. 709 00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:42,480 Speaker 1: They're always complaining about something, Like you know, you don't 710 00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:44,800 Speaker 1: really need people like that in your life. You want 711 00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:48,200 Speaker 1: you want to people that have a zest for life 712 00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:51,440 Speaker 1: that you're they're you're positively pouring into them as they 713 00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:53,400 Speaker 1: are and you and like I challenge people to make 714 00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:55,440 Speaker 1: sure that they're that person they want to be to 715 00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:59,760 Speaker 1: the people they're around. And when those two things are aligned, man, 716 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:03,640 Speaker 1: it's it's hard to break that strengthening mechanism of porn 717 00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:05,840 Speaker 1: on your you know, of really being able to kind 718 00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:08,399 Speaker 1: of build into your own self, but then build into 719 00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:11,040 Speaker 1: others and then have them build back into you. And 720 00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:13,279 Speaker 1: that's when I know I've seen you at your best. 721 00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:16,040 Speaker 1: That's when I'm always at my best. And the times 722 00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:18,880 Speaker 1: that I forget it are when I let outside and 723 00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:23,800 Speaker 1: influences affect my own ego or when I draw further 724 00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:25,760 Speaker 1: away from the people that I love and care about 725 00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:28,080 Speaker 1: the most to be able to work through those things 726 00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:31,440 Speaker 1: that and that's really like become evidently clear from our 727 00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:35,360 Speaker 1: relationship and over the last couple of years, and I 728 00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:37,960 Speaker 1: want people to understand also, and Sean just gave us 729 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:41,520 Speaker 1: his I guess you're uh the way you handle these right, 730 00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:42,759 Speaker 1: So you wake up in the morning, you get your 731 00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:45,439 Speaker 1: steam and you do breathwork. You read a lot, which 732 00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:47,239 Speaker 1: is great, right, I know you're doing an awful lot 733 00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:50,560 Speaker 1: of that. You have your gym time, which is your 734 00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:52,880 Speaker 1: other's end time. What you do like four times a day, right, 735 00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:54,919 Speaker 1: You're doing a little timing to work out four times 736 00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:58,480 Speaker 1: a day depends on you know, like it depends you know, 737 00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:00,319 Speaker 1: because further, when you're at when you have like a 738 00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:02,239 Speaker 1: day without the players. You know, you like, you can 739 00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:04,480 Speaker 1: work from home or at the office and you go 740 00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:07,520 Speaker 1: for about eight two hours of hard focused concentration. Then 741 00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:09,719 Speaker 1: I need a thirty minute break just for you know, 742 00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:12,440 Speaker 1: myself to settled down, and so whatever that looks like, 743 00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:15,160 Speaker 1: but it just kind of depends. But those are the 744 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:17,920 Speaker 1: things that have helped kind of find out a rhythm 745 00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:21,080 Speaker 1: and routine that's in alignment. Was sustaining you know, that 746 00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:24,040 Speaker 1: overall well being that you were want and then and 747 00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:26,000 Speaker 1: then obviously leaning into your team, which is what we 748 00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:28,640 Speaker 1: just talked about again, and being your family and your crew. 749 00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:31,960 Speaker 1: So and I want people to understand this, right I 750 00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:35,360 Speaker 1: have my you know, this is my routine, that's Sean's routine. 751 00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:40,759 Speaker 1: When the gray is taken over, it's really easy to 752 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:43,640 Speaker 1: not do that routine anymore. So I want people to 753 00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:45,799 Speaker 1: know that's when you have to step it up and 754 00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:48,080 Speaker 1: make sure no matter what you do the routine. As 755 00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:50,359 Speaker 1: much as you don't feel like working out, you gotta 756 00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:52,239 Speaker 1: drag your ass and then jim, as much as you 757 00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:56,280 Speaker 1: don't feel like talking about gratitude, you gotta force yourself 758 00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:59,759 Speaker 1: to do it because it's those downtimes they're gonna help 759 00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:04,520 Speaker 1: you really relish in your life and to get a 760 00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:07,280 Speaker 1: lot of that great anticipate when you went through November 761 00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:11,719 Speaker 1: last year, were you still doing this routine or did 762 00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:15,800 Speaker 1: you let it fall off? There was times when I wasn't, 763 00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:17,400 Speaker 1: but then when I got back to it, you know, 764 00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:20,319 Speaker 1: I can't remember exactly how it went, Jay, I know 765 00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:23,040 Speaker 1: it wasn't a good feeling, but it's it's when it's 766 00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:25,200 Speaker 1: going tough. But I also think to your point too, 767 00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:28,080 Speaker 1: when things are good, don't lose sight of building that 768 00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:31,479 Speaker 1: foundation in that armor. And so that's why you should 769 00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:34,399 Speaker 1: go to the therapist. Even when even when times are good, 770 00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:37,000 Speaker 1: talk to a therapist. That's when you could build new 771 00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:40,279 Speaker 1: like new tools, correct and like. To me, why I 772 00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:43,080 Speaker 1: think this is for everybody is that you know, there's 773 00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:46,600 Speaker 1: different levels of you know, emotions that people feel. But 774 00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:48,800 Speaker 1: I don't know anybody I've ever met in my life 775 00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:51,279 Speaker 1: that doesn't want a high quality of well being for 776 00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:54,120 Speaker 1: their mental health. And if you say, all right, these 777 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:57,200 Speaker 1: are the things that are in alignment with consistently obtaining 778 00:36:57,200 --> 00:37:00,200 Speaker 1: and achieving that or helping you overcome some of the 779 00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:03,360 Speaker 1: tough moments you're in to get to those places, I 780 00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:05,160 Speaker 1: I don't know that I've met anybody that would say, 781 00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:07,520 Speaker 1: you know, I don't want really that you know, those 782 00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:11,120 Speaker 1: people I question, you know you're seeing it, but I 783 00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:13,360 Speaker 1: just think that there's a lot of different things. But 784 00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:16,399 Speaker 1: to me, it's consistency and a rhythm and routine. It's 785 00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:20,719 Speaker 1: acknowledging the all the insecurities that, in different forms or fashions, 786 00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:24,000 Speaker 1: we all have. And then who are the people that 787 00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:26,160 Speaker 1: you can lean on, who are the people that you 788 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,920 Speaker 1: can pour back into where the real fulfillment and purpose 789 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,720 Speaker 1: comes from. And then what are the things that create 790 00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,600 Speaker 1: that stillness for you? You know, Jay and I have 791 00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:38,160 Speaker 1: different things, even though they might be similar types of activities, 792 00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:40,200 Speaker 1: but you know, it's it's really you know, I think 793 00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:41,960 Speaker 1: a lot of it too, is is really being able 794 00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:44,320 Speaker 1: to have a self awareness with people that are around 795 00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:46,799 Speaker 1: you that can be unconditional, and being able to tell 796 00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:48,319 Speaker 1: you what you need to hear, not what you want 797 00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:50,759 Speaker 1: to hear. You know, That's what I'm so grateful for. 798 00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:54,120 Speaker 1: And then also being able to really dive deep and 799 00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:56,279 Speaker 1: and own some of these things that you're feeling, so 800 00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:58,840 Speaker 1: then you can figure out what are the best ways 801 00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:01,560 Speaker 1: that I can equip my self with the strength to 802 00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:03,400 Speaker 1: be able to live the quality of life that I 803 00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:06,480 Speaker 1: think everybody deserves to live. Look, and it's a different 804 00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:09,120 Speaker 1: world nowadays. Look, your grandfather did this business for a 805 00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:11,160 Speaker 1: long time and I think should be in the Hall 806 00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:13,719 Speaker 1: of Fame quite honestly. But here you are in your 807 00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:18,440 Speaker 1: fifth year. Absolutely, uh, fifth year, last years? Your fifth year, 808 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:21,600 Speaker 1: right is that fifth year? Okay, so your fifth year, 809 00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:25,799 Speaker 1: that's my point, right, So last year, I would there 810 00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:28,279 Speaker 1: are times last year I'm like, I think he's gonna 811 00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:29,560 Speaker 1: quit in the middle of the year, which I know 812 00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:32,000 Speaker 1: you're not a quitter, so you weren't. And then after 813 00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,239 Speaker 1: the year, obviously there's a lot of talk of you 814 00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:36,920 Speaker 1: go and stepping away to Amazon. That's something that your 815 00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:39,040 Speaker 1: grandfather and people would like. Man, they were able to 816 00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:41,279 Speaker 1: do this for years and years and years. But just 817 00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:44,239 Speaker 1: five years this job got to you that much where 818 00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:47,799 Speaker 1: you thought about it. That's that's a mental health thing. Yeah, 819 00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:49,799 Speaker 1: I mean, I think I think what it is is 820 00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:51,799 Speaker 1: I think a lot of it is is you know, 821 00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:54,320 Speaker 1: it's me the way that I'm wired to kind of 822 00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:56,680 Speaker 1: drive and push. I think you know this, you know, 823 00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:58,799 Speaker 1: I always am going to be a guy that just 824 00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:01,520 Speaker 1: knows one speed and that's full speed as it relates 825 00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:04,040 Speaker 1: to competing and doing those types of things, but finding 826 00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:08,120 Speaker 1: that balance it's exhausted, you know. But but you know 827 00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:10,680 Speaker 1: what though, like it's it's how do you acknowledge the 828 00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:14,120 Speaker 1: fact that this is probably who you are? But how 829 00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:16,560 Speaker 1: do you really counter those things to be able to 830 00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:18,759 Speaker 1: have a better understanding of all? Right, well, why do 831 00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:20,759 Speaker 1: you feel these ways? And I think the best thing 832 00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:22,759 Speaker 1: that came out of last year, even some of the 833 00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:25,319 Speaker 1: tough moments that we've gone through. And you know this 834 00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:27,759 Speaker 1: to j like it's easy for people to kind of 835 00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:30,200 Speaker 1: roll their eyes after you say this, after the way 836 00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:33,680 Speaker 1: the season ended, but but I truly do believe this, 837 00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:36,440 Speaker 1: like you know me well enough to know like you know, 838 00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:38,239 Speaker 1: and it sounds silly when you say it out loud, 839 00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:40,160 Speaker 1: are you go from seven and one to seven and four? 840 00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:42,359 Speaker 1: But you know it's in the midst of adding Vaughan 841 00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:44,920 Speaker 1: and O'Dell the you know, the outside in narrative and 842 00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:48,920 Speaker 1: everybody's kind of writing me off, and then you really say, like, okay, 843 00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:51,600 Speaker 1: how do I what what do what really I love 844 00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:55,120 Speaker 1: about coaching? And what do I love about football? You know, 845 00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:57,360 Speaker 1: like in its truest form, when you get back to 846 00:39:57,520 --> 00:39:59,880 Speaker 1: whether you're playing or even when you start coaching, and 847 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:02,920 Speaker 1: before you let all the outside and stuff blur and 848 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:07,040 Speaker 1: create those gray things, and it's about people, and it's 849 00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:09,799 Speaker 1: poorn into people, and it's finding a team and it's 850 00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:12,759 Speaker 1: doing something about Hey, I don't want to see these 851 00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:16,960 Speaker 1: guys succeed more than my own selfish ambitions. And I 852 00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:19,680 Speaker 1: don't think it's by coincidence that good things happen. We 853 00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:21,680 Speaker 1: were able to overcome some moments and the players are 854 00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:24,000 Speaker 1: the ones that made the place, make no mistake about it, 855 00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:26,279 Speaker 1: all right, But I can look back and say, you 856 00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:28,759 Speaker 1: know what, I was proud of being a good advocate 857 00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:32,719 Speaker 1: and you know, being able to lean on people, acknowledge 858 00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:35,920 Speaker 1: some of the insecurities, but then be strong and resilient 859 00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,600 Speaker 1: in some of those tough moments that helped us overcome 860 00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:41,000 Speaker 1: and that that to me is one of my favorite parts. Now. 861 00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:43,439 Speaker 1: I think the big thing that we've continued to say 862 00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:46,279 Speaker 1: on this is this is not a there's not like 863 00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:49,600 Speaker 1: an ending point to this journey. This is a constant 864 00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:52,640 Speaker 1: way of seeking to live a high quality, a high 865 00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:55,239 Speaker 1: state of life, as our guy John Gordon would say, 866 00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:59,319 Speaker 1: And you know, and those things are about people and 867 00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:02,000 Speaker 1: equipping your selup with the knowledge on how you best 868 00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:05,200 Speaker 1: can handle those things. And you know, when you feel 869 00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:07,480 Speaker 1: those types of things coming, what's the best way that 870 00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:10,920 Speaker 1: we can minimize that, uh as quickly as possible. I 871 00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:13,279 Speaker 1: want to go back to you being the leader right 872 00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:16,200 Speaker 1: when you first got this job. And as you know, 873 00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:18,080 Speaker 1: I always tell you know, the guys who who are 874 00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:20,759 Speaker 1: first time coaches like, be prepared because the stuff that's 875 00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:23,040 Speaker 1: about to come across your desk you can never imagine. 876 00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:26,799 Speaker 1: So when you're in this role now and you get 877 00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:30,720 Speaker 1: brought to your attention, Hey, this players suicidal. This person's 878 00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:34,279 Speaker 1: wife is suicidal, this is this person's gone down a 879 00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:37,040 Speaker 1: rabbit hole. This guy is getting suspended for this, this 880 00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:39,799 Speaker 1: guy is man, he's getting built out of money here, 881 00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:42,839 Speaker 1: this guy's father has this or whatever. It is all 882 00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:46,360 Speaker 1: the problems that suddenly come to you, Hey, were you 883 00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:51,600 Speaker 1: prepared for it? Be? How do you suddenly handle that? 884 00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:55,200 Speaker 1: That's that's a lot it is. I think number one. 885 00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:57,359 Speaker 1: You know, when I was first hired JA and I 886 00:41:57,400 --> 00:42:00,759 Speaker 1: look back on it, there was a genuine ignorance is 887 00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:03,760 Speaker 1: bliss in terms of the things that I get upset 888 00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:06,560 Speaker 1: or piste off about now, I wouldn't have even known 889 00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:09,560 Speaker 1: when I was thirty years old that that freaking matters, 890 00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:12,120 Speaker 1: you know, And I have to constantly remind myself of, 891 00:42:12,239 --> 00:42:14,959 Speaker 1: all right, how do you prioritize an attack? And it's 892 00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:17,399 Speaker 1: all about our people, you know, But I think it's 893 00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:19,400 Speaker 1: I think, you know, the couple of things that have 894 00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:23,799 Speaker 1: really helped me is as you accumulate experience, people are 895 00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:26,600 Speaker 1: more comfortable, they get to know you a little bit better. 896 00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:29,719 Speaker 1: Where hey, that vulnerability comes first, then the trust, but 897 00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:32,200 Speaker 1: I think time and you know, really both of those 898 00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:35,799 Speaker 1: things come with time and being able to I know 899 00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:38,680 Speaker 1: this when I've had players that I've talked to being 900 00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:41,040 Speaker 1: able to say like, hey, it's okay not to be perfect. 901 00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:43,520 Speaker 1: I've had my own things that I have to work through. 902 00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:46,120 Speaker 1: What that does in terms of lightening the load for 903 00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:48,799 Speaker 1: them to open up, Like, I think there's this just 904 00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:51,320 Speaker 1: narrative that everybody feels like they have to be perfect 905 00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:53,400 Speaker 1: and if they're not, they're weak, and that that is 906 00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:56,839 Speaker 1: just so false. And so I think it's the acknowledgement 907 00:42:56,840 --> 00:43:00,200 Speaker 1: of that, um, the understanding of what it comes with this, 908 00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:02,160 Speaker 1: and then the main thing, like I've talked with NBA 909 00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:04,600 Speaker 1: guys you know, Doc Rivers and I have gotten really close, 910 00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:07,000 Speaker 1: and I think the big thing that's different, you know, 911 00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:08,560 Speaker 1: we talked about it earlier in the car. You've got 912 00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:10,600 Speaker 1: fifty three players, I really look at it, we've got 913 00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:13,600 Speaker 1: sixty nine when you add our sixteen practice squad players, 914 00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:17,040 Speaker 1: you know, and then you've got twenty plus coaches. You 915 00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:19,840 Speaker 1: have to be able to lean on all of those 916 00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:22,600 Speaker 1: people to be able to cultivate the environment in the 917 00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:25,040 Speaker 1: atmosphere by the way that you treat them, the way 918 00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:27,359 Speaker 1: that you let them know how important their role is 919 00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:30,120 Speaker 1: and how it contributes to the greater good. But you 920 00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:32,800 Speaker 1: can't do it all. And that's the biggest thing is 921 00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:35,960 Speaker 1: having great coaches are having great leadership from our locker 922 00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:39,479 Speaker 1: room has been instrumental and handling it the right way. 923 00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:41,279 Speaker 1: And as soon as you lose sight of it's all 924 00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:44,120 Speaker 1: about the people that you're around, that's when it just, 925 00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:46,719 Speaker 1: you know, goes sideways. And that's the one thing that 926 00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:49,040 Speaker 1: you can never prepare for all the things that come 927 00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:51,279 Speaker 1: across your desk. But man, it's a lot easier to 928 00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:53,360 Speaker 1: be able to handle it when you've got people you 929 00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:55,640 Speaker 1: can lean on. And even if you are innately thrust 930 00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:58,359 Speaker 1: into a leadership role. Sometimes the best thing you can 931 00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:00,560 Speaker 1: say is, you know what, I don't know of the answer. 932 00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:03,040 Speaker 1: I don't have that, but let me listen, learn and 933 00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:05,200 Speaker 1: then I can lead the right way. You know. We 934 00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:07,360 Speaker 1: talked earlier in this podcast about some of our pillars, 935 00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:09,240 Speaker 1: right and what we do and some of the routines 936 00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:10,560 Speaker 1: that we have, and one of them I said was 937 00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:14,160 Speaker 1: was being of service. Another one is you know, is 938 00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:15,839 Speaker 1: is having that team. And the third one is laughter. 939 00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:18,279 Speaker 1: And I'm gonna leave you with this gang. Uh So 940 00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:20,759 Speaker 1: Seawn threw his whole team off of the practice field 941 00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:23,120 Speaker 1: and training campus here and I was driving with him 942 00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:25,320 Speaker 1: after and all I did to start laughing out to 943 00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:27,520 Speaker 1: you in the car, right, like I just got the 944 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:30,040 Speaker 1: car and You're like, the fund is this guy laughing 945 00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:34,439 Speaker 1: at And now you know why it's laughing. He can't cry. 946 00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:37,400 Speaker 1: You gotta laugh, right. I mean, we had about twenty 947 00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:40,760 Speaker 1: false starts in fifteen plays. I don't know that's possible. 948 00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:43,960 Speaker 1: What it was it was, Uh, it's not a good movie. 949 00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:48,640 Speaker 1: I was very upset. It was quite upset. Hey, look, 950 00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:50,080 Speaker 1: and I wanted to make sure we we kind of 951 00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:52,120 Speaker 1: hit a little laugh here because we talked about some 952 00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:54,200 Speaker 1: heavy stuff and I appreciate that. Man. That's you know, 953 00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:57,120 Speaker 1: we pull our skin back and we're vulnerable and we're raw, 954 00:44:57,200 --> 00:45:00,080 Speaker 1: and it helps out so many people by doing this, 955 00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:02,400 Speaker 1: the role walker, this walk together. Before I let you go, 956 00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:04,920 Speaker 1: one last thing, I'm gonna ask all my guests this, 957 00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:10,600 Speaker 1: give me your unbreakable moment, your moment of something you overcame. 958 00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:13,040 Speaker 1: It could be any pop point in your life, something 959 00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:16,680 Speaker 1: that you had to overcome, something that man, you worked 960 00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:19,360 Speaker 1: so hard, you finally got it. Something that man, you 961 00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:21,760 Speaker 1: came through the other side of this tunnel. It didn't 962 00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:24,239 Speaker 1: break you. You came through the other side. What would 963 00:45:24,239 --> 00:45:27,080 Speaker 1: that be? I think to me, you know, there's so 964 00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:29,640 Speaker 1: many things that I could reference and that come to mind, 965 00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:32,839 Speaker 1: you know, But I think the unbreakable moment for me 966 00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:36,080 Speaker 1: has been, you know, in every evolving thing of you know, 967 00:45:36,239 --> 00:45:40,480 Speaker 1: really working on acknowledging the things that when I unpack 968 00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:43,000 Speaker 1: are really my own insecurities or my ego getting in 969 00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:46,600 Speaker 1: the way. And a small demonstration of that is leaning 970 00:45:46,640 --> 00:45:49,600 Speaker 1: on people like yourself, our players are coaches through that 971 00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:52,480 Speaker 1: month of November. But I just think, you know, the 972 00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:56,680 Speaker 1: unbreakable moment is really living an unbreakable life in regards 973 00:45:56,719 --> 00:46:00,200 Speaker 1: to doing the things that you talked about, consistently burnt 974 00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:04,120 Speaker 1: into people, surrounding yourself with positive influences, living the life 975 00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:06,520 Speaker 1: that you want to live, and then being able to 976 00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:11,080 Speaker 1: sustain yourself with the armor to overcome when you feel 977 00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:14,600 Speaker 1: these feelings or when the outside pressure starts to get 978 00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:16,279 Speaker 1: to you and you're feeling bad in your gut and 979 00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:18,719 Speaker 1: say no, no, no no, how do I unpack this? I 980 00:46:18,719 --> 00:46:21,600 Speaker 1: think it's a continuation for me, Ja, but I think 981 00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:24,120 Speaker 1: it starts with being around people that allow you to 982 00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:27,600 Speaker 1: be comfortable enough to acknowledge these feelings that you have, 983 00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:31,760 Speaker 1: and then equipping yourself with the people and the knowledge 984 00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:35,680 Speaker 1: on hey, this ship is only temporary. The tough times 985 00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:38,600 Speaker 1: don't last, the tough people do. And being able to 986 00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:41,880 Speaker 1: be a tough person means acknowledging your and being vulnerable, 987 00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:45,279 Speaker 1: but also leaning on other people born into them, and 988 00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:47,640 Speaker 1: that leads to living an unbreakable life, which I think 989 00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:51,360 Speaker 1: we're all really trying to achieve. Dude, I appreciate you 990 00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:53,920 Speaker 1: coming on first, guest. They're kicking us off, man, I 991 00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:56,759 Speaker 1: really appreciate you. We'll set the bar low. It's like 992 00:46:56,840 --> 00:47:02,839 Speaker 1: my dad always said, you know, under promise over deliver. Hey, 993 00:47:02,880 --> 00:47:06,600 Speaker 1: you can only go off from here. I appreciate you 994 00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:09,280 Speaker 1: joining me again. Sean McVeigh, head coach of the Ramps, 995 00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:12,439 Speaker 1: the night before their season opener against the Buffalo Bills. 996 00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:15,080 Speaker 1: And for everybody else out there, we appreciate you joining 997 00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:17,200 Speaker 1: us here. Every week we'll have a different guest. I'll 998 00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:20,160 Speaker 1: also have different checkens throughout the week. So as I 999 00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:23,080 Speaker 1: am trying to walk through this gray, we could all 1000 00:47:23,120 --> 00:47:37,600 Speaker 1: walk this walk together to the blue