WEBVTT - Whine About It: Subconscious Sabotage 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:05.320 Wine Down with Jane Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast. 0:00:06.519 --> 0:00:09.760 Hey guys, it's Janna. Welcome to Wine About It Thursdays. 0:00:10.240 --> 0:00:12.600 I'm very excited we're going to have Grace Smith come on. 0:00:12.760 --> 0:00:14.960 She is a Wall Street Journal bestselling author and the 0:00:15.000 --> 0:00:17.960 founder of the owner of Grace App. It's the world's 0:00:18.079 --> 0:00:24.599 number one provider of hypnotherapy education. She hypnotized me about 0:00:25.160 --> 0:00:27.880 probably I'd say so gosh game like six months ago 0:00:28.040 --> 0:00:32.320 over just the anxiety and the feelings I would feel 0:00:32.600 --> 0:00:35.680 when I would read something or see something online. And 0:00:36.040 --> 0:00:38.320 it worked wonders for me because it honestly goes a 0:00:38.440 --> 0:00:42.559 layer underneath meditation. And she's just such a sweetheart, and 0:00:42.560 --> 0:00:44.559 I want to talk more about her Grace App and 0:00:44.600 --> 0:00:47.280 how you guys can be able to get your hands 0:00:47.320 --> 0:00:52.760 on it. So let's get Grace on. Hey, Grace, how 0:00:52.800 --> 0:00:56.120 are you good? How are you I'm doing well. It's 0:00:56.120 --> 0:00:58.040 great to see you again. Good to see you too. 0:00:58.200 --> 0:01:01.400 I'm glad to have you back and Wine Down in 0:01:01.600 --> 0:01:08.560 our little Wine About It Thursday episodes. So, hypnotherapy has 0:01:08.640 --> 0:01:12.000 been something you've been working on for how many years? Again? 0:01:13.480 --> 0:01:15.920 Eleven years? Okay? Can you for those of you that 0:01:16.280 --> 0:01:18.880 didn't get to hear Grace on our previous episode. Can 0:01:18.920 --> 0:01:22.920 you just give a little intro into how you got 0:01:22.959 --> 0:01:27.720 started into hypnotherapy? Definitely, this is the shoot super short version. 0:01:28.240 --> 0:01:30.720 I used it to quit smoking when I had a 0:01:30.760 --> 0:01:34.240 really fancy corporate job that was very high stress and 0:01:34.240 --> 0:01:37.880 I had no healthy coping mechanisms. After I saw how 0:01:37.920 --> 0:01:40.280 quickly it worked for me, I quick in one session, 0:01:40.319 --> 0:01:45.080 even though I totally didn't expect hypnosis to work, I said, 0:01:45.360 --> 0:01:47.640 why does nobody know about this? Why do people think 0:01:47.680 --> 0:01:49.160 it's going to be a joke or that it's going 0:01:49.200 --> 0:01:51.960 to be ineffective when it's the only thing that worked 0:01:52.000 --> 0:01:55.320 for me. It was relaxing, it was interesting, So then 0:01:55.360 --> 0:01:57.480 I said, let me test it on something else. Used 0:01:57.520 --> 0:02:02.320 it to overcome debilitating fear of public speaking. After ten sessions, 0:02:02.360 --> 0:02:04.480 I was the lead singer in an all girl rock band. 0:02:05.480 --> 0:02:07.640 I still can sing like you, Dana, but it was 0:02:07.760 --> 0:02:10.160 fun and I never would have had that experience otherwise. 0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:13.280 So then I got a training. Still didn't expect to 0:02:13.320 --> 0:02:16.160 make this my career. I just wanted to understand the subconscious, 0:02:16.760 --> 0:02:20.440 started helping people that I loved, and three months into 0:02:20.480 --> 0:02:23.359 doing it part time, a man who had been paralyzed 0:02:23.360 --> 0:02:27.640 by a stroke. In our first session together, broke through 0:02:27.639 --> 0:02:31.160 his paralysis and moved voluntarily for the first time. So 0:02:31.200 --> 0:02:34.480 that's when I said, forget it. People are suffering needlessly. 0:02:35.080 --> 0:02:38.400 Everyone needs to know what this tool actually is. And 0:02:38.520 --> 0:02:41.160 we've been on a mission to make it mainstream ever since. 0:02:41.440 --> 0:02:44.040 And the cute story with that is that was actually 0:02:44.040 --> 0:02:47.160 what your father in law. Yeah, so that's the first 0:02:47.160 --> 0:02:49.360 time I met the man who would become my father 0:02:49.400 --> 0:02:51.720 in law. I had been dating his son for one 0:02:51.800 --> 0:02:54.840 month when his father was flown home. He was a 0:02:54.960 --> 0:03:00.120 United Nations peacekeeping officer in Syria, so when I met him, 0:03:00.160 --> 0:03:02.280 I had only been doing this part time three months. 0:03:02.320 --> 0:03:05.080 He was paralyzed and the goal of that session was 0:03:05.120 --> 0:03:09.120 to help him with his depression from being paralyzed. We 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:12.799 did not know you could use hypnotherapy to break through paralysis. 0:03:12.919 --> 0:03:15.520 That was not the goal of the session, but when 0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:18.440 it happened, I dedicated my life to getting the word 0:03:18.440 --> 0:03:21.080 out about it. So, how many clients do you have 0:03:22.480 --> 0:03:25.840 like a week is or like is it like a 0:03:25.919 --> 0:03:30.120 regular running therapy kind of office for the hypnotherapy for 0:03:30.280 --> 0:03:32.960 my team, it is. Yeah. So the way that we've 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:35.720 developed It is very unique and very different, and we're 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:37.800 very blessed that it worked out this way. It was 0:03:37.800 --> 0:03:42.080 not intentional, so I realized very early on in order 0:03:42.080 --> 0:03:44.960 to make hypnosis mainstream, we had to be able to 0:03:44.960 --> 0:03:47.880 reach far more people than I could as an individual, 0:03:48.440 --> 0:03:51.160 so we created an app. We've got about forty thousand 0:03:51.160 --> 0:03:54.400 subscribers for the app. It's brand new, so that's growing 0:03:54.400 --> 0:03:59.400 by weeks today, just forty thousand subscribers. Yeah, so good 0:04:00.240 --> 0:04:01.960 part due to you, Thank you very much. We had 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:03.920 a couple of thousand people come over the last time 0:04:03.960 --> 0:04:07.040 I was on Say the app again. It's the Grace app, 0:04:07.680 --> 0:04:09.280 So if you search for that in the Apple Store 0:04:09.360 --> 0:04:11.160 or you can go to get Grace dot com to 0:04:11.240 --> 0:04:13.960 find it. There's a free version in a paid and 0:04:14.040 --> 0:04:17.200 it has hundreds of recordings for every topic you can imagine. 0:04:18.400 --> 0:04:22.240 Then there's hypnotherapists on our team. They all have graduated 0:04:22.320 --> 0:04:26.479 from my Hypnotherapy certification school. They graduated at the top 0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:28.800 of their class. So we now have dozens and dozens 0:04:28.800 --> 0:04:33.320 of people on our team who provide sessions globally on Zoom, 0:04:33.360 --> 0:04:36.080 which is amazing. And that's about one hundred and fifty 0:04:36.120 --> 0:04:39.000 dollars a session, so it's less than the national average, 0:04:39.560 --> 0:04:41.760 and then we've got the certification school. Now to work 0:04:41.800 --> 0:04:48.000 with me costs a million dollars actually, so for I know, 0:04:48.600 --> 0:04:52.880 my one year weekly program is a million dollars, but 0:04:52.920 --> 0:04:55.360 it's not like I'm going out and buying flashy cars. 0:04:55.400 --> 0:04:59.440 With that. We have grown to being the largest service 0:04:59.480 --> 0:05:03.760 provider in the world for hypnotherapy because the investment that 0:05:03.880 --> 0:05:06.760 my very few clients make in themselves at that level, 0:05:07.240 --> 0:05:09.280 we take all that money and put it back into 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:12.400 the core business so we can reach hundreds of thousands 0:05:12.440 --> 0:05:15.200 of additional people that we couldn't reach. So we've never 0:05:15.279 --> 0:05:19.080 taken a dollar of outside investment. We're still completely bootstrapped, 0:05:19.360 --> 0:05:21.599 but we've grown to a two time in five thousand 0:05:21.600 --> 0:05:25.800 fastest growing company because I've got fortune one hundred CEOs 0:05:25.839 --> 0:05:27.960 who want to work with me twice a week. Every week. 0:05:28.440 --> 0:05:30.479 They pay that amount, we put it back into the 0:05:30.480 --> 0:05:33.160 core business and help hundreds of thousands of additional people. 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:35.880 So at first when you hear it, it's like a 0:05:36.040 --> 0:05:41.800 million dollars, But insane as it might sound, people at 0:05:41.839 --> 0:05:45.239 this level with this amount of income will say to me, Grace, 0:05:45.400 --> 0:05:49.400 it would be horrible for me not to invest in 0:05:49.440 --> 0:05:53.720 my mindset. At this level, I have every single material 0:05:53.800 --> 0:05:56.679 thing you could ever want. But if I'm not happy, 0:05:57.200 --> 0:06:01.040 if I'm not healthy, then I'm not spending this money correctly. 0:06:01.160 --> 0:06:04.640 And they really love knowing that by investing in themselves 0:06:04.640 --> 0:06:08.320 to that degree, they are helping that many other people 0:06:08.360 --> 0:06:12.320 get the support too. Okay, so like the millionaire, So 0:06:12.520 --> 0:06:17.160 they spend a million dollars to get hypnotized. Yeah, so 0:06:17.200 --> 0:06:19.840 they work with me twice a week for an entire year, 0:06:20.080 --> 0:06:22.360 and then they have eight VIP days with me, which 0:06:22.360 --> 0:06:25.520 are eight hours each. So people who go to my 0:06:25.560 --> 0:06:28.120 team are usually like, I'm afraid of flying right, and 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:30.480 they'll have a handful of sessions on that or I'm 0:06:30.480 --> 0:06:32.760 biting my nails or I'm yelling at my children when 0:06:32.760 --> 0:06:35.120 i don't want to, because that's what was modeled for me. 0:06:36.320 --> 0:06:39.120 When my clients come to me, they say, I want 0:06:39.160 --> 0:06:42.560 to look at every single subconscious limiting belief that I 0:06:42.680 --> 0:06:47.840 have and rewrite it. So we start from today and 0:06:47.880 --> 0:06:49.440 we go all the way back to the day that 0:06:49.480 --> 0:06:52.680 they were born, and we look at every single subconscious 0:06:52.760 --> 0:06:55.240 high and low that they have ever had. Now, the 0:06:55.320 --> 0:06:59.120 highs are really interesting because we are constantly looking for 0:06:59.279 --> 0:07:04.279 validation and four experiences in our life that prove to 0:07:04.360 --> 0:07:06.440 us that we are worthy and deserving of good things. 0:07:06.920 --> 0:07:09.880 But we always we have amnesia about the times that 0:07:09.880 --> 0:07:13.240 that has already happened, and so we're constantly looking for 0:07:13.720 --> 0:07:17.800 additional approval, additional proof that we are worthy and deserving 0:07:17.840 --> 0:07:20.480 of love and joy. But if you go into the 0:07:20.520 --> 0:07:24.240 subconscious and you mine for those previous experiences, you know, 0:07:24.280 --> 0:07:27.040 when you were on the championship softball team at eleven, 0:07:27.560 --> 0:07:30.880 that joy, that, oh my goodness, I was a part 0:07:30.920 --> 0:07:34.040 of something huge. I am worthy and deserving of respect. 0:07:34.120 --> 0:07:36.400 I am worthy and deserving of love, I am capable. 0:07:36.760 --> 0:07:39.840 Those things live there just beneath the surface. And when 0:07:39.880 --> 0:07:43.000 you can mine for them and strengthen them and create 0:07:43.320 --> 0:07:46.160 what we call an anchor, so that you can just 0:07:46.320 --> 0:07:49.240 press your thumb and pointer finger together at any time 0:07:49.280 --> 0:07:52.080 and get a rush of those feelings, then you stop 0:07:52.160 --> 0:07:55.840 looking for external validation because you've already got it anchored 0:07:55.840 --> 0:07:58.760 within you. So that's what I'm doing with my folks. 0:07:58.760 --> 0:08:01.400 We are rewriting all all of the unhelpful scripts, and 0:08:01.440 --> 0:08:04.960 we were anchoring all of the helpful ones because these folks, 0:08:05.000 --> 0:08:08.200 they've got thousands of employees and millions of customers, and 0:08:08.280 --> 0:08:13.840 they know subconscious self sabotage is extremely expensive, and they 0:08:13.880 --> 0:08:16.560 also want to be happy. So now when I say 0:08:16.600 --> 0:08:18.800 that I do work with a handful of people for 0:08:18.840 --> 0:08:21.040 that amount of money, it's super you know, high level, 0:08:21.160 --> 0:08:23.600 very fancy, and they fund the growth of our business. 0:08:23.600 --> 0:08:26.400 That helps all the other folks. But day to day, 0:08:26.480 --> 0:08:28.760 like just this morning, I gifted one of my good friends, 0:08:28.800 --> 0:08:31.560 her son, a session, you know, so I'm constantly doing 0:08:31.560 --> 0:08:33.959 free sessions too. You gifted me a session, and I'm like, 0:08:34.000 --> 0:08:35.720 oh crap, do I owe you a million dollars now? 0:08:35.720 --> 0:08:41.840 So you know, let's let's put it this way. Let's 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:44.200 say I wanted to put four million dollars into their business, 0:08:44.200 --> 0:08:47.120 I could charge forty people one hundred thousand, right, or 0:08:47.400 --> 0:08:49.640 four people a million. So the fact that I only 0:08:49.679 --> 0:08:53.000 work with very few people paid means I can gift 0:08:53.200 --> 0:08:56.440 lots of sessions for free and write the books that 0:08:56.520 --> 0:08:59.360 help people, and make all the app recordings and train 0:08:59.440 --> 0:09:02.040 all the students. There wouldn't be time for all that otherwise. 0:09:15.360 --> 0:09:19.320 Are there any of the big CEOs that you work 0:09:19.360 --> 0:09:22.840 with that are open about doing hypnotherapy that are on 0:09:22.880 --> 0:09:26.400 a public base saying like, hey, I do this or 0:09:26.640 --> 0:09:30.640 is it pretty private? At this stage of the game, 0:09:30.679 --> 0:09:35.280 I typically only work with folks who feel comfortable being public, because, again, 0:09:35.440 --> 0:09:38.760 my goal is to make hypnosis mainstream. Right, there's tons 0:09:38.760 --> 0:09:42.120 of hypnotherapists out there who just want a busy, private 0:09:42.120 --> 0:09:46.319 practice themselves. And from that regard, I completely understand why 0:09:46.320 --> 0:09:49.280 people would want to keep it private, and so definitely 0:09:49.280 --> 0:09:51.080 go work with those folks or work with the folks 0:09:51.080 --> 0:09:53.400 on my team. But if you want to work with 0:09:53.600 --> 0:09:57.520 me personally, since my missions to make it mainstream, if 0:09:57.559 --> 0:10:01.000 someone very well known loves it, it can completely transforms 0:10:01.000 --> 0:10:04.000 their life but doesn't want to tell the world this 0:10:04.000 --> 0:10:06.080 thing is not what you saw in the movies, but 0:10:06.200 --> 0:10:08.400 in fact one of the most powerful ways to help 0:10:08.440 --> 0:10:11.400 you heal, then I'm not the right fit. But I 0:10:11.440 --> 0:10:14.800 will say I've signed tons of NDAs in my career. 0:10:14.880 --> 0:10:16.959 It's just I've finally gotten to the point in the 0:10:17.040 --> 0:10:20.000 last few years where that's not appealing to me anymore. Sure, so, 0:10:20.040 --> 0:10:22.840 if you go to my Instagram, all it is actually 0:10:23.040 --> 0:10:25.600 I barely post anything. I'm just starting to get back 0:10:25.600 --> 0:10:30.520 into it again. It's just testimonials from my primarily CEO clients. So, 0:10:30.800 --> 0:10:35.439 for example, Andrew Desza, he founded clear Bank, which became 0:10:35.480 --> 0:10:39.120 clear Co and was valued at two billion dollars. He's 0:10:39.120 --> 0:10:42.320 in his thirties and he said, after working with me 0:10:42.400 --> 0:10:45.400 for a few months, I added one hundred million dollars 0:10:45.400 --> 0:10:49.520 of value to the company. So that's a public testimonial 0:10:49.600 --> 0:10:51.320 right there on my Instagram. I feel like you could 0:10:51.320 --> 0:10:53.480 also be like a millionaire matchmaker too, like you and 0:10:53.520 --> 0:10:57.080 Patti Stanger should like yeah, I feel like, all right, listen, 0:10:57.280 --> 0:11:01.320 let's just like combine two voices here. Totally. It's the 0:11:01.360 --> 0:11:06.319 subconscious self sabotage that keeps us from finding that perfect relationship, 0:11:06.360 --> 0:11:11.400 so it would be a good match. I wonder if, 0:11:11.480 --> 0:11:13.760 and I know we've kind of touched on this the 0:11:13.840 --> 0:11:18.480 last time, but is there something that just cannot be 0:11:18.720 --> 0:11:26.280 solved or fixed through hypnotherapy. There is one contraindication, which 0:11:26.480 --> 0:11:30.520 is schizophrenia. So what happens when you're in the theta 0:11:30.559 --> 0:11:34.600 brainwave state, which is where hypnosis takes place, is you're very, 0:11:34.720 --> 0:11:37.439 very relaxed. That's it. It's it's so simple. It's when 0:11:37.480 --> 0:11:40.720 you're relaxed and you feel safe, you have the surplus 0:11:40.840 --> 0:11:44.440 energy required to make new neural pathways very very quickly. 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:47.720 Most people try to change their lives when they're completely 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:51.439 stressed out, when they're in fight, flight, freeze, survival mode. 0:11:51.800 --> 0:11:54.240 And that's the state where we are least adaptive, where 0:11:54.280 --> 0:11:59.160 we can change the least Yeah, And so when someone 0:11:59.240 --> 0:12:03.079 has a diagnosis of schizophrenia, there is difficulty in understanding 0:12:03.120 --> 0:12:06.679 what is reality and what isn't. And so when you're 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:09.280 in THETA, you can be relaxing in your office, relaxing 0:12:09.280 --> 0:12:12.400 in your home, but also imagining yourself on a beach, 0:12:12.559 --> 0:12:15.560 and also then two minutes later imagining yourself at five 0:12:15.640 --> 0:12:18.679 years old healing from something right, And so it can 0:12:18.720 --> 0:12:21.880 be a little disorienting for someone who doesn't already have 0:12:22.240 --> 0:12:27.160 a grasp on what physical reality is. For everyone else, 0:12:27.160 --> 0:12:31.520 there are no contraindications. It's safe in terms of if 0:12:31.520 --> 0:12:34.960 there's not anything. If there's anything, it wouldn't work for it. 0:12:35.600 --> 0:12:38.600 If you don't want the result, it won't work. So 0:12:38.720 --> 0:12:41.680 if someone comes to me and says, I desperately want 0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:44.959 to quit smoking, but I don't believe in hypnosis, they 0:12:45.000 --> 0:12:47.959 will quit smoking with hypnosis because you don't need belief 0:12:48.040 --> 0:12:50.920 in it. You just relax and make neural pathways faster. 0:12:51.000 --> 0:12:53.760 That's it. There's no mind control. But if someone says, 0:12:53.840 --> 0:12:57.960 I believe in hypnosis, my spouse wants me to quit, 0:12:58.120 --> 0:13:01.520 I'm so sick of them nagging me, but I love smoking. 0:13:02.000 --> 0:13:04.440 They're not going to quit. So as long as you 0:13:04.520 --> 0:13:08.440 want the result, hypnotherapy is going to be able to help. 0:13:10.080 --> 0:13:15.720 I guess, Okay, that's awesome. But then like, how though 0:13:16.120 --> 0:13:21.199 it's and that's the use I don't understand because I'm like, yeah, 0:13:21.320 --> 0:13:24.920 I don't because Okay, you're saying that they have to 0:13:25.000 --> 0:13:27.719 want it, well, sure, but I feel like we all 0:13:27.720 --> 0:13:31.560 have weaknesses, right, Like I don't want to I don't know, 0:13:31.600 --> 0:13:33.600 I'm gonna trying to think, like I don't want to 0:13:33.640 --> 0:13:36.360 have to have negative thoughts, but I'm probably going to 0:13:36.400 --> 0:13:40.040 have a negative thought. So it's like, how then with hypnotherapy, 0:13:40.080 --> 0:13:43.640 it's like this person probably doesn't want to smoke a cigarette, 0:13:43.679 --> 0:13:47.920 but probably wants it too. Great, great, great question. Okay, 0:13:47.960 --> 0:13:51.160 So when it came to my two examples, quitting smoking 0:13:51.160 --> 0:13:54.760 and overcoming fear of public speaking, the smoking took one session, 0:13:55.080 --> 0:13:57.640 the public speaking took ten. So at the time that 0:13:57.679 --> 0:14:00.240 I wanted to quit smoking, I hated it. I thought 0:14:00.280 --> 0:14:02.840 it was gross for me, right. I hated the smell, 0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:04.800 I hated the taste, I hated the cost, I hated 0:14:04.920 --> 0:14:07.160 every single thing about it. I viewed it for me 0:14:07.280 --> 0:14:11.160 personally as a weakness of character, and what we believe 0:14:11.200 --> 0:14:13.440 about one thing in our subconscious, we make to believe 0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:16.160 about everything. So if I kept saying to myself, I'm 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:19.200 going to quit and I didn't, the message I'm sending 0:14:19.200 --> 0:14:22.680 my subconscious is I don't keep promises to myself, and 0:14:22.760 --> 0:14:24.840 that started to show up in other ways. So I 0:14:24.920 --> 0:14:27.120 was one hundred and ten percent ready to get rid 0:14:27.120 --> 0:14:29.000 of that. I quit in one session, even though I 0:14:29.000 --> 0:14:32.120 didn't think hypnosis would work. Now I go to work 0:14:32.160 --> 0:14:35.800 on public speaking. Now I know hypnosis works, But in 0:14:35.880 --> 0:14:38.240 order to overcome fear of public speaking, I would have 0:14:38.320 --> 0:14:40.720 to speak in public, which I did not want to do. 0:14:41.520 --> 0:14:44.000 So a part of me really wanted it, a part 0:14:44.040 --> 0:14:45.440 of me did not want it. So it took a 0:14:45.440 --> 0:14:48.840 whole whopping ten sessions, which is not very much at all, 0:14:49.200 --> 0:14:52.840 to rewire a debilitating fear I've had my entire life. 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:55.720 So when it comes to thinking thoughts, it's sort of 0:14:55.760 --> 0:15:01.360 like everyone knows that if you think more positive thoughts, 0:15:01.920 --> 0:15:05.560 you're going to take actions that reflect those thoughts, which 0:15:05.560 --> 0:15:07.920 will more than likely move you down the path of 0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:10.600 where you want to be. But let's say someone goes, 0:15:13.920 --> 0:15:17.800 I don't want to eat cookies, but cookies are delicious, right, 0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:22.720 Those are two different thoughts. So if your subconscious believes, 0:15:22.720 --> 0:15:24.720 for example, if you were to stop eating cookies, that 0:15:24.760 --> 0:15:27.400 you would hurt your grandmother's feelings because you bake cookies 0:15:27.400 --> 0:15:29.760 together at Christmas and she's your favorite person in the 0:15:29.920 --> 0:15:35.040 entire world. But you're pre diabetic and it's really serious 0:15:35.080 --> 0:15:38.720 that you quit. This is going to go on, potentially forever, 0:15:39.040 --> 0:15:41.560 this battle between the conscious thought if I need to quit, 0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:44.240 but the subconscious I don't want to hurt my grandmother's feelings. 0:15:44.640 --> 0:15:47.120 If we go into the subconscious directly, which is what 0:15:47.200 --> 0:15:50.360 hypnosis allows us to do, we can imagine having a 0:15:50.400 --> 0:15:54.200 conversation with Grandma and saying, Grandma, it was never the cookies, 0:15:54.600 --> 0:15:57.600 it was always the time with you. I love you, 0:15:58.120 --> 0:16:01.640 and not eating cookies has nothing to do with my 0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:03.880 love for you. It will not diminish my love for you. 0:16:04.160 --> 0:16:06.920 And even though I realize you might not understand that 0:16:06.960 --> 0:16:09.160 because you come from a different culture in a different time, 0:16:09.160 --> 0:16:11.160 and you might give me a hard time about the cookies. 0:16:11.440 --> 0:16:14.720 I already pre forgive you for that. I already stick 0:16:14.800 --> 0:16:17.320 to my decision to not eat them, and I look 0:16:17.360 --> 0:16:20.280 forward to spending time with you in different ways because 0:16:20.280 --> 0:16:23.560 I adore you. Once you have that conversation at the 0:16:23.600 --> 0:16:26.880 subconscious level, when you come back up, it's not like 0:16:27.000 --> 0:16:29.800 your willpower has increased and you're going to see cookies, 0:16:29.840 --> 0:16:32.560 want them, but be strong enough to say no, You're 0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:35.200 just not going to want them anymore because they don't 0:16:35.280 --> 0:16:40.360 have this heavy weighted story around them that they connect 0:16:40.360 --> 0:16:43.040 you to your grandmother. They're just a completely separate thing. 0:16:43.240 --> 0:16:45.960 They're not good for this person because the person's pre diabetic, 0:16:46.160 --> 0:16:48.080 and they can just go back to loving their grandmother. 0:16:48.360 --> 0:16:51.320 Does that help clarify, Yeah, a little bit. That makes sense. 0:16:52.680 --> 0:16:55.720 On the love side of things, though, you can't make 0:16:55.760 --> 0:17:01.760 anyone not love anybody, right, No, course, it's not eternal 0:17:02.760 --> 0:17:06.080 thoughtless mind right, we can't wave the wand but what 0:17:06.119 --> 0:17:09.680 we can do, and what I always recommend, is if 0:17:09.720 --> 0:17:15.920 you increase your self worth subconsciously past a certain threshold, 0:17:16.600 --> 0:17:20.680 then the idea of being with anyone who diminishes that 0:17:22.000 --> 0:17:26.560 to any degree would become something that is impossible, right, 0:17:27.240 --> 0:17:29.639 and you see it's so clear on their side. I 0:17:29.640 --> 0:17:31.960 actually had I had a fellow reach out to me 0:17:32.000 --> 0:17:35.520 earlier today about one of her ex her ex husband 0:17:35.520 --> 0:17:37.040 and cheated on her a bunch, and she was like, 0:17:37.840 --> 0:17:39.359 this is the message that I sent back to me, 0:17:39.400 --> 0:17:40.960 and it was just it was an awful message, and 0:17:40.960 --> 0:17:42.600 I go, girl, you got to also look at that 0:17:42.640 --> 0:17:45.639 and go how grateful and thankful you are to be 0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:48.480 on the other side of because before, like you would 0:17:48.480 --> 0:17:50.360 stay with that. And she's like, oh my gosh, you're 0:17:50.400 --> 0:17:52.160 so true. She's like, it's so nice to not have 0:17:52.200 --> 0:17:54.000 to be treated that way and talk to that way. 0:17:54.040 --> 0:17:56.679 And it's like once you get on the other side 0:17:56.680 --> 0:17:59.280 of it and you know you're worth more, like you 0:17:59.320 --> 0:18:01.800 don't you're not going to handle that the ugliness and 0:18:01.840 --> 0:18:04.840 the words of people that you shouldn't be with. It's 0:18:05.840 --> 0:18:08.320 it's it's hard to be in that moment, Like it's 0:18:08.320 --> 0:18:10.280 hard to see it when you're there, but then when 0:18:10.520 --> 0:18:13.480 you step outside of it, you're like, I love getting 0:18:13.520 --> 0:18:16.080 those messages from if I was to get them from 0:18:16.080 --> 0:18:18.240 excess to be like, oh, it shows that they haven't 0:18:18.359 --> 0:18:21.959 changed or you know, so it's a nice little like thanks, 0:18:22.520 --> 0:18:26.280 thanks for showing me yes. And so much of this 0:18:26.440 --> 0:18:29.640 is a matter of realizing what we were raised with, 0:18:29.760 --> 0:18:33.960 what was modeled for us, what we thought was normal 0:18:34.600 --> 0:18:40.040 interactions between parents or loved ones or acceptable behavior, then 0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:41.720 growing up getting to the point where it's like, I 0:18:41.760 --> 0:18:44.560 don't actually think this is right for me or right 0:18:44.640 --> 0:18:49.040 in general, rewiring our pathways to expect something else, and 0:18:49.080 --> 0:18:52.560 then getting comfortable with that. So, you know, the more 0:18:52.640 --> 0:18:55.199 patience and love we can give ourselves, the faster we 0:18:55.280 --> 0:18:57.720 get there. For sure, harder we are on ourselves, the 0:18:57.800 --> 0:19:12.960 longer the road. Let's say you know you're in a 0:19:13.000 --> 0:19:15.080 conversation with your a parent like a mom or a dad, 0:19:15.160 --> 0:19:19.160 or even a friend, and something that frustrates you about them, 0:19:19.480 --> 0:19:22.800 about them? Do you think, because some people say that's 0:19:22.840 --> 0:19:26.880 a mirror for something that's inside of you that you're 0:19:26.920 --> 0:19:30.080 frustrated with, do you believe that to be true? I 0:19:30.200 --> 0:19:35.840 absolutely do. Yes. Every time I get frustrated by something external, 0:19:35.960 --> 0:19:38.560 I realize I have more work to do on myself 0:19:38.760 --> 0:19:43.560 with unconditional love, and people hear my voice on the 0:19:43.560 --> 0:19:46.239 app and I help them feel so much better that 0:19:46.280 --> 0:19:49.959 they assume I am this naturally very calm, peaceful person. 0:19:50.600 --> 0:19:54.320 I loved hypnotherapy because I am a type, a competitive, 0:19:55.240 --> 0:19:59.560 like I want to win type person who's also an entrepreneur. 0:20:00.119 --> 0:20:02.359 So over the years I've become a lot more calm. 0:20:02.400 --> 0:20:04.320 Over the years, have become a lot more peaceful. But 0:20:04.400 --> 0:20:06.920 there are still moments where I'm like, this was not 0:20:07.080 --> 0:20:11.720 done to my exact specifications, and I catch myself and 0:20:11.840 --> 0:20:18.000 I go, why do I need this to be exactly perfect? 0:20:18.119 --> 0:20:22.080 What is it within myself that I'm still not embracing 0:20:22.280 --> 0:20:27.040 unconditionally that I would get even momentarily worked up over 0:20:27.080 --> 0:20:31.440 something that can be easily modified. And that's one example. 0:20:31.480 --> 0:20:33.359 Like that's a you know, a document or a landing 0:20:33.359 --> 0:20:35.399 page that had an error on it. But when it 0:20:35.440 --> 0:20:38.840 comes to someone you love who's doing something repeatedly that 0:20:38.960 --> 0:20:42.040 rubs you the wrong way, it's all inner work. I 0:20:42.080 --> 0:20:44.560 do believe. It is all a reflection and what a 0:20:44.640 --> 0:20:48.000 lovely thing that you can reprogram that the minute you 0:20:48.320 --> 0:20:51.960 get upset about something, you are flooding yourself with self love. 0:20:52.680 --> 0:20:56.000 That's where I'm I'm just about that. I'd say ninety 0:20:56.040 --> 0:20:58.159 percent of the time it's immediate. Ten percent of the 0:20:58.200 --> 0:21:00.199 time I have to really like, Oh, I got go 0:21:00.240 --> 0:21:01.800 do my thing now. I got to get into that 0:21:01.880 --> 0:21:03.760 self love. So how do you get there? What do 0:21:03.800 --> 0:21:07.160 you do? Is there a piece of hypnotherapy in that 0:21:07.160 --> 0:21:11.400 that kind of definitely? What do you Yeah? So I 0:21:11.440 --> 0:21:14.320 will either listen to our app if I've got the time, 0:21:14.359 --> 0:21:16.600 if I only have two minutes, I close my eyes. 0:21:16.680 --> 0:21:20.000 I imagine little me, and anyone can do this. I 0:21:20.000 --> 0:21:22.080 imagine little me at the age of five years old. 0:21:22.520 --> 0:21:25.359 I get down to eye level, I look into her eyes, 0:21:25.359 --> 0:21:29.000 and I say, you are perfect. You are perfect when 0:21:29.040 --> 0:21:32.280 you make mistakes. You are perfect when you mess up. 0:21:32.760 --> 0:21:35.639 You are perfect when you're loud, You're perfect when you 0:21:35.720 --> 0:21:39.879 knock something over. You are perfect all the time. You 0:21:39.920 --> 0:21:44.280 are perfect right now. And I love you. So. A 0:21:44.280 --> 0:21:48.280 lot of us who strive for perfection, you know, not everybody, 0:21:48.400 --> 0:21:51.200 but a lot of folks who strive for perfection got 0:21:51.240 --> 0:21:54.000 there a lot of the time, did really well a 0:21:54.000 --> 0:21:56.199 lot of the time, got very close to perfection a 0:21:56.200 --> 0:21:58.560 lot of the time. And so the few moments where 0:21:58.560 --> 0:22:03.680 you don't, it's like this unbelievably crushing experience to realize 0:22:03.680 --> 0:22:06.880 you're a failure. And when you just imagine your five 0:22:06.960 --> 0:22:09.960 year old self instead knocking over a glass of milk 0:22:10.119 --> 0:22:14.280 end up being perfectly fine. It resets everything for me 0:22:14.320 --> 0:22:17.920 in two seconds. Yeah, I love those resets. Something else too, 0:22:17.960 --> 0:22:20.520 I was having a conversation with my boyfriend their day 0:22:20.520 --> 0:22:23.840 and I was it got just frustrated with the you know, 0:22:23.880 --> 0:22:25.359 a phone call that I had, and I called them 0:22:25.440 --> 0:22:28.359 right afterwards and he go, he always said, like, wait 0:22:28.400 --> 0:22:31.040 ten minutes before you respond to anything, to the email, 0:22:31.080 --> 0:22:33.000 to the text, to the if you're heated, just wait 0:22:33.040 --> 0:22:35.360 ten minutes, and them like, because he's like, your response 0:22:35.800 --> 0:22:37.600 in ten minutes is going to be so different than 0:22:37.600 --> 0:22:40.119