1
00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:00,800
Speaker 1: Order.

2
00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:02,559
Speaker 2: She's a fresh show.

3
00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:06,040
Speaker 3: It's Kiki's court, all right, all right, the honor ble

4
00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:07,360
Speaker 3: kik aik is here.

5
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:09,000
Speaker 2: Judge Kiki, if you would.

6
00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:11,680
Speaker 1: Yes, let's get into it. The case says, Hey Kiki.

7
00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:15,200
Speaker 1: My name is Lauren. I'm a longtime listener of the show.

8
00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:17,799
Speaker 1: My husband and I have three kids. I have one

9
00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:21,200
Speaker 1: daughter from a previous relationship, and we have two kids together.

10
00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:25,520
Speaker 1: My oldest daughter has never met her biological father, so

11
00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:28,600
Speaker 1: my husband is the only father that she knows. For

12
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:31,600
Speaker 1: her sixteenth birthday, she thought it would be a sweet

13
00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:35,560
Speaker 1: thing to ask my husband to finally adopt her. She's

14
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,640
Speaker 1: always wanted to have the same last name as my

15
00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:41,159
Speaker 1: other kids, and I always wanted it to be her decision.

16
00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:43,680
Speaker 1: So at her birthday party, she asks my husband in

17
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:45,599
Speaker 1: front of all of our family and friends, and he

18
00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:49,400
Speaker 1: said yes. Well, a week later, my husband came back

19
00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:51,279
Speaker 1: to me and said that after thinking about it and

20
00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:53,880
Speaker 1: talking it over with his mom, he's had a change

21
00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:58,520
Speaker 1: of heart. Oh my god, he doesn't want to complicate

22
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,520
Speaker 1: things by legally adopting my daughter.

23
00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:01,760
Speaker 2: I'm heartbroken.

24
00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:04,960
Speaker 1: His excuse was that he already plays the father role

25
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,640
Speaker 1: for her and it's no need to get the courts involved.

26
00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:10,560
Speaker 1: I told him there's no way I'm telling my daughter

27
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,600
Speaker 1: that you've changed your mind. He has to adopt her

28
00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:17,520
Speaker 1: or I will leave. Am I wrong forgiving him an ultimatum?

29
00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:22,800
Speaker 2: Damn baby? What say you? Judge? Kiki?

30
00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:26,560
Speaker 1: This is one that I really needed thirteen to weigh

31
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:29,679
Speaker 1: in on because it's really been bothering me all weekend.

32
00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:33,360
Speaker 1: Because my issue really comes in is that you went

33
00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:36,640
Speaker 1: and spoke with your mother. What happened in that conversation

34
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:39,360
Speaker 1: between him and his mother that made him change his

35
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,640
Speaker 1: mind to come back and say he doesn't want to

36
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:44,880
Speaker 1: legally adopt my kid. And I don't want to tell

37
00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:46,800
Speaker 1: her to leave her husband because it's easy to say

38
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:48,640
Speaker 1: blow up your family when you're not the one in

39
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:50,800
Speaker 1: the situation. Obviously, he's a good guy, a good father.

40
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,440
Speaker 1: He's raised her other children and alone. You know, he's

41
00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:55,880
Speaker 1: taken the girl in to be her father, but not legally.

42
00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:58,240
Speaker 1: What is stopping him? It makes me think of like,

43
00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:00,360
Speaker 1: is he worried about if they ever divorced and maybe

44
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:03,200
Speaker 1: he's going to be responsible for child support or something,

45
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,560
Speaker 1: or you know, is there some type of legal thing

46
00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,920
Speaker 1: that he's scared of getting the courts involved. I just

47
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:09,640
Speaker 1: feel like there has to be more to it, and

48
00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:11,760
Speaker 1: I would love to know the conversation between him and

49
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:15,440
Speaker 1: his mother. But for him to renegue on the original

50
00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:17,680
Speaker 1: agreement and he promised this girl this in front of

51
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:21,440
Speaker 1: the entire family. He is so dead wrong, Like he's

52
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,919
Speaker 1: so wrong, And I feel for you, Lauren Kiki.

53
00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:27,960
Speaker 3: I lived this like this is I was adopted by

54
00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:32,920
Speaker 3: I guess, quote unquote my stepfather. So was my sister. Yeah,

55
00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:36,440
Speaker 3: and I we turned eighteen, we went to court and

56
00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:40,480
Speaker 3: did it. And I cannot imagine because that was we

57
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,239
Speaker 3: were never like it was ever, this is what's going

58
00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:44,760
Speaker 3: to happen, or it was always do you want this

59
00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:49,040
Speaker 3: to happen? And it was kind of I don't know it.

60
00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,720
Speaker 3: It was a very special thing between each of us

61
00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:55,080
Speaker 3: and this guy who raised us, and it's I just

62
00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:57,000
Speaker 3: can't imagine how I would feel if all of a

63
00:02:57,040 --> 00:03:01,760
Speaker 3: sudden he were like, nah, yeah, I'm not into this anymore.

64
00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:03,959
Speaker 3: Like it almost makes me wonder if there's that something

65
00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:07,839
Speaker 3: that's heartbreaking going on in the in the primary relationship,

66
00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:09,840
Speaker 3: like between he and the mom or something like maybe

67
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:12,560
Speaker 3: I don't know, because why would he I can't imagine

68
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,839
Speaker 3: that he goes to talk to his mom and mom says, yeah,

69
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:18,760
Speaker 3: you don't want that kid. It's almost like giving that no,

70
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,000
Speaker 3: but it's it's well maybe, but it's almost like it's

71
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:25,040
Speaker 3: almost like mom doesn't like the wife or girlfriend or

72
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,440
Speaker 3: whatever and doesn't know if that's going to last, So

73
00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,000
Speaker 3: then don't adopt the guy. I don't know, because I

74
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,959
Speaker 3: can't imagine that my mom would talk me out of

75
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:36,920
Speaker 3: adopting somewhat a child that I helped raise over the child, correct,

76
00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:39,360
Speaker 3: I would think it would be something something else.

77
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:43,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, can I say an unpopular opinion? So why is

78
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,200
Speaker 4: he consulting with his mother? Like, this is a grown

79
00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:48,000
Speaker 4: ass man and this is his family, his mother, his

80
00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:50,160
Speaker 4: mother is his family. It's his mother. I'm very aware

81
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,840
Speaker 4: of that. But this man created his own family. So

82
00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,760
Speaker 4: I'm just really confused as to why we're consulting mom

83
00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:58,360
Speaker 4: about your family dynamic and what you're going to do

84
00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:01,080
Speaker 4: in adoption. You know what I'm saying to me, I

85
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,480
Speaker 4: don't like that. That that's too much. This is your family,

86
00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:04,400
Speaker 4: You're a grown ass man.

87
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:08,400
Speaker 3: This is from the woman who calls Hobby's mom. Absolutely,

88
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,920
Speaker 3: and he's not doing what you want him to do.

89
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:12,520
Speaker 2: He didn't watch the dishes. I call his mother. This

90
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,200
Speaker 2: is true, but we when come.

91
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:17,120
Speaker 4: To our family, but when it comes to our family dynamic,

92
00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,279
Speaker 4: we're not going to consult our mommies.

93
00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:20,120
Speaker 2: Like that's we're not doing.

94
00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:22,880
Speaker 3: No, you consult his mom. So what you're saying is

95
00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:25,160
Speaker 3: his mom has influence. And I don't think that's unfair.

96
00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:27,359
Speaker 3: I don't think it's unfair to have your mom be

97
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:29,880
Speaker 3: someone that you you can you can talk.

98
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,240
Speaker 4: To her, of course, But at the end of the day,

99
00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:33,040
Speaker 4: I still feel like, this is your family. When you

100
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,080
Speaker 4: get married, you create your own family. You guys know that,

101
00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:37,000
Speaker 4: Like we've been preaching this on this radio for years,

102
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,400
Speaker 4: Like I'm learning not too I consult my mom for

103
00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:40,159
Speaker 4: the littlest things.

104
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:40,800
Speaker 2: I admit it.

105
00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:42,599
Speaker 4: I'll say, hey, Ma, you know I want to do this,

106
00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:44,040
Speaker 4: what should I do? I want to get a tattoo.

107
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:45,839
Speaker 4: I'm still like, oh, should I ask my mom? I like, yeah,

108
00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:47,760
Speaker 4: I think these things. But at the end of the day,

109
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:49,440
Speaker 4: it's like, no, I'm a grown ass woman. I'm thirty

110
00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:51,560
Speaker 4: two years old. I have a family. Now, I have

111
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:53,960
Speaker 4: a child, and I have a husband. This is now

112
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,880
Speaker 4: my family. We're making all decisions.

113
00:04:56,279 --> 00:04:58,360
Speaker 3: But Pete we don't know that that she's the one

114
00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:01,760
Speaker 3: who said, don't you ed or he may have gone

115
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,440
Speaker 3: to her with this, with this idea anyway, and she

116
00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:06,599
Speaker 3: may have reinforced it. So no, I mean, mom shouldn't

117
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,000
Speaker 3: be running the family. But I don't think that consulting

118
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:12,039
Speaker 3: family who are important to you when it comes to

119
00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:14,640
Speaker 3: making big decisions, isn't that what family's for, may to

120
00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:16,520
Speaker 3: help you sort of work through those kind of things.

121
00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:18,279
Speaker 4: It sounds like you got doubts though, if you're going

122
00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:20,120
Speaker 4: to go to your mom too, I would call my mom,

123
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,800
Speaker 4: or let in this case, this man called his mom

124
00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:25,240
Speaker 4: and say, hey, guess what, Mom, I'm going to adopt first.

125
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:28,719
Speaker 4: I don't know her name, that's any whatever, I'm going

126
00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:30,800
Speaker 4: to adopt her like this is what we're doing in

127
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:34,400
Speaker 4: beautiful family birth right, beautiful birth up, and we're going

128
00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:34,920
Speaker 4: to change.

129
00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:39,440
Speaker 3: Her Yeah, yeah, I got to me, no birth of

130
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:43,000
Speaker 3: Frederick out there, We'll change. So that's my bigger, my

131
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:43,960
Speaker 3: bigger issue here.

132
00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:45,239
Speaker 2: Is right goodness.

133
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:49,560
Speaker 3: I love the name birth It's beautiful. I hear it's

134
00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:50,200
Speaker 3: making a comeback.

135
00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:51,520
Speaker 2: Actually enough, you.

136
00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:54,479
Speaker 1: Know, we don't and to play devil ma advocate like

137
00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:57,479
Speaker 1: she the it all happened at the girl's birthday party,

138
00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,359
Speaker 1: so she asked him in front of the family. So

139
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,479
Speaker 1: I'm sure his mom was there and his family and

140
00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:04,919
Speaker 1: her family were there, So of course that opens it

141
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,919
Speaker 1: up for people to have opinions. However, you're in a

142
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:12,040
Speaker 1: marriage and you've raised this girl. I couldn't imagine telling

143
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:14,880
Speaker 1: a kid I don't want to adopt you, like it mean,

144
00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:16,800
Speaker 1: a kid I just met yesterday, if they asked me

145
00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:19,240
Speaker 1: to adopt him, yes, you know what I'm saying. How

146
00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:22,120
Speaker 1: could you tell somebody living in your house that you

147
00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:25,320
Speaker 1: raise that you don't want to take on that responsibility

148
00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:27,000
Speaker 1: for them.

149
00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:29,400
Speaker 3: Well, and I obviously don't know these people can judge, Kiki,

150
00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:32,880
Speaker 3: but these things, in my experience, at least in my

151
00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:36,840
Speaker 3: personal experience, they don't just happen. There's normally some discussion. Now,

152
00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:40,640
Speaker 3: she may have surprised him, my guess, a viral because

153
00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:41,920
Speaker 3: these things go viral sometimes.

154
00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:42,680
Speaker 2: Who knows.

155
00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:45,159
Speaker 3: Maybe she just sprung it on him, but I doubt

156
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:49,159
Speaker 3: it because, yeah, I mean, like in our family, was

157
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:52,880
Speaker 3: discussed for a very long time before it happened, and

158
00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:55,160
Speaker 3: everybody was comfortable with it. So I don't know. I mean,

159
00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,240
Speaker 3: maybe if she surprised him. I mean, there are some

160
00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:59,000
Speaker 3: things we don't know. How long is the relationship? Do

161
00:06:59,000 --> 00:06:59,960
Speaker 3: we know how long they've been together?

162
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:04,000
Speaker 1: No, but she said that her daughter is sixteen and

163
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:05,840
Speaker 1: he's the only father that she's known, So.

164
00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,200
Speaker 2: Okay, well then yeah, then I don't know.

165
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:13,160
Speaker 3: Most in my experience, most adults, when the child that

166
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:16,880
Speaker 3: they raise that isn't technically their blood child, when that

167
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,600
Speaker 3: kid wants them to be their legal father, that is

168
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:23,400
Speaker 3: normally the biggest honor that you can bestow on someone. Oh,

169
00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:26,200
Speaker 3: because it's a choice, you know, it's I mean, I

170
00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:29,320
Speaker 3: love my parents, and I love my mom, and my

171
00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:32,360
Speaker 3: mom I got so lucky. I won the mom lottery

172
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,960
Speaker 3: with mom of Fred, but not everybody did. Not everybody

173
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,600
Speaker 3: won the family lottery. And so a lot of times

174
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,440
Speaker 3: we'll hear people say that friends are the family that

175
00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:43,000
Speaker 3: you choose. Well, in this case, he's the dad that

176
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:45,800
Speaker 3: she gets to pick because they could go on. I mean,

177
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:47,760
Speaker 3: how many stepparents do you know that are just kind

178
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,320
Speaker 3: of there, you know, and they're nice, and they're they're

179
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:53,000
Speaker 3: not bad people, but they're're not necessarily running out to

180
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:56,240
Speaker 3: go to court and have them adopt you. So I

181
00:07:56,600 --> 00:08:00,520
Speaker 3: can't imagine a world where this guy would he's shunning

182
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:04,240
Speaker 3: this child that he raised. It's got to be something more.

183
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:09,800
Speaker 3: Yeah five, that's crazy to me.

184
00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:14,640
Speaker 2: Yvonne hi Yavan the morning, Good morning. Hey you heard

185
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:16,280
Speaker 2: this whole thing? What say you?

186
00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:20,920
Speaker 5: So? I've been with my husband for fourteen years now.

187
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:24,120
Speaker 5: He came into the picture when my daughters were seven

188
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:27,920
Speaker 5: and four, and he I know, would adopt them in

189
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:31,920
Speaker 5: a heartbeat if he had the chance. And so the

190
00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:35,360
Speaker 5: fact that he changed his mind, not only is that

191
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:39,200
Speaker 5: heartbreaking for the mom because she's been a second guest,

192
00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:41,560
Speaker 5: you know, like, how does he really feel about my

193
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:44,640
Speaker 5: daughter if he's second guessing this, but also the daughter.

194
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,520
Speaker 5: I couldn't imagine having to go back and tell her like, hey,

195
00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:52,960
Speaker 5: he changed his mind. It's just really sad and coming

196
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:56,839
Speaker 5: from like someone in a blended family. If I had

197
00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,920
Speaker 5: any doubts on the way my husband felt about my kid,

198
00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:05,080
Speaker 5: I'd be out, I leave. I mean, it's just you've

199
00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:07,840
Speaker 5: raised this kid, I mean, her whole life. I don't

200
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:11,720
Speaker 5: know why he would like have any reservations or have

201
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:12,720
Speaker 5: changed his mind.

202
00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:16,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, this wasn't This doesn't sound like a snap decision.

203
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:19,680
Speaker 3: I mean maybe I don't know. It's it's really crazy

204
00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:22,079
Speaker 3: to raise a child and then this happens, and then

205
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:24,000
Speaker 3: have you go never mind. I don't I don't really

206
00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,320
Speaker 3: want that obligation anymore because you took it on already,

207
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:27,080
Speaker 3: you already get it.

208
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,240
Speaker 1: And it sounds like he still don't for the obligation.

209
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,319
Speaker 1: He just doesn't want to make it legal. And to me,

210
00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:33,320
Speaker 1: there's something crazy causing that.

211
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I don't know.

212
00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:36,320
Speaker 5: I don't know.

213
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:39,280
Speaker 3: I know it's it's it's puzzling, isn't it. Thank you

214
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:41,160
Speaker 3: so much for listening, for calling. Have a great day.

215
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:42,679
Speaker 5: Thank you, guys.

216
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:46,400
Speaker 3: Yeah I Mike, Good morning, Mike.

217
00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:46,880
Speaker 2: How you doing.

218
00:09:47,559 --> 00:09:50,480
Speaker 6: Thank you guys, good morning, How are you doing great?

219
00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:52,400
Speaker 3: Thanks for listening, Thanks for calling. So Keniky, just make

220
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:54,319
Speaker 3: sure I have this right. Guy and a girl been

221
00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:58,439
Speaker 3: together for a while. Dude raises his stepdaughter and we're

222
00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:01,280
Speaker 3: kind of putting this together. But if he's the only

223
00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:03,400
Speaker 3: dad she ever knew, then let's just say an extended

224
00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:06,480
Speaker 3: period of time that the stepdad's been raising this woman's daughter.

225
00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:10,800
Speaker 3: And so there was discussion about him adopting her legally,

226
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:12,880
Speaker 3: and they said let's do it, and he said yes,

227
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,440
Speaker 3: and then he went back now and has said to

228
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:18,600
Speaker 3: the woman, to his girlfriend or wife, whatever, no, I

229
00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:22,079
Speaker 3: don't want it anymore, which is crazy to me, Mike,

230
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:22,680
Speaker 3: what do you think?

231
00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:27,440
Speaker 6: So I was kind of put in that kind of

232
00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:31,079
Speaker 6: same situation. I've been with my wife now eleven years

233
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:33,400
Speaker 6: today actually, so I've known.

234
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,320
Speaker 2: Congratulations fourteen, Thank you.

235
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,240
Speaker 6: I've been with I've known my fourteen year old she'll

236
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:41,760
Speaker 6: be fifteen here in July, since basically she was three.

237
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:48,400
Speaker 6: So her father now is a deceased but after we

238
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:52,000
Speaker 6: had our second child, that we have three girls including her,

239
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:57,880
Speaker 6: that she felt left out. So my wife, instead of

240
00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:02,840
Speaker 6: going through the adoption process, we actually petitioned the court

241
00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:08,439
Speaker 6: to her legally take my last name. My family loved her,

242
00:11:08,679 --> 00:11:12,920
Speaker 6: they thought that she you know, she's the world to

243
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:16,760
Speaker 6: all of us. But yeah, even after was it last months,

244
00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:21,480
Speaker 6: we actually mentioned, hey, you know, we know you have

245
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:25,600
Speaker 6: my last name. Would you like for me to adopt you?

246
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:29,000
Speaker 6: And she's like, no, I'm saying, I'm okay that you

247
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,240
Speaker 6: know I have your last name. I love you, and

248
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:35,400
Speaker 6: that doesn't change anything. She doesn't wanted to have the

249
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:39,040
Speaker 6: same last name as her sisters and the rest of

250
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,200
Speaker 6: my family because I come from a very big family,

251
00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:43,079
Speaker 6: So that was kind of the.

252
00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,360
Speaker 2: Gist with that.

253
00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:49,160
Speaker 6: So, I mean, yes, adoption is awesome. It's very expensive,

254
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:52,400
Speaker 6: but we just petitioned the court. We had to jump

255
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:54,960
Speaker 6: through a couple of hoops for it to happen because

256
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:58,760
Speaker 6: he is defeased. But other than that, I mean, it

257
00:11:58,840 --> 00:11:59,840
Speaker 6: was kind of easy, peasy.

258
00:12:00,559 --> 00:12:01,760
Speaker 2: Well, watch a nice Mike.

259
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,920
Speaker 3: It's a great story, and and that you guys talked

260
00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:05,920
Speaker 3: about it and that she's comfortable with it or whatever.

261
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:09,480
Speaker 3: I can't imagine for if you had said it offered

262
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:13,000
Speaker 3: her that, or if she asked you and you say yeah,

263
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:15,440
Speaker 3: and then you come back a little while later and go, actually,

264
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,079
Speaker 3: I thought about it, and I definitely don't want to

265
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:19,920
Speaker 3: be legally attached to you in any way, even though

266
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,440
Speaker 3: I've done everything else in the role of your father.

267
00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:23,640
Speaker 2: It's I don't get it.

268
00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:26,840
Speaker 6: I don't get it either, don't understand. I mean there

269
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,760
Speaker 6: could be I mean, there could be so other like

270
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:33,480
Speaker 6: factors that she didn't mention, but I mean, yeah, it

271
00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:37,920
Speaker 6: is kind of, you know, crappy that he did that,

272
00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:42,120
Speaker 6: But I'm sure there's other reasons that we don't know of,

273
00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:45,679
Speaker 6: you know of why?

274
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:49,280
Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, Mike, Mike, thanks for sharing that. By

275
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,600
Speaker 3: the way, I have a great day. Thanks you too.

276
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:52,360
Speaker 6: Guys have a good one.

277
00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:55,880
Speaker 2: Glad Yeah, glad you called KB? Hi KB? How you doing.

278
00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:58,520
Speaker 7: I'm wonderful. How are you guys this morning?

279
00:12:59,000 --> 00:12:59,280
Speaker 2: KB?

280
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,440
Speaker 3: Thanks for list say, thanks for calling. So you heard

281
00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:04,560
Speaker 3: you heard the case in Kiki's court?

282
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:05,040
Speaker 2: What say you?

283
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:09,520
Speaker 7: Oh, this is a mess. Yeah, I would definitely say divorced.

284
00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:12,400
Speaker 7: But here's my reason why. So you're legally taught to me,

285
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:16,400
Speaker 7: you made that declaration, that obligation, but you don't want

286
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:19,839
Speaker 7: to do it for my children, and then you make it, you.

287
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:22,120
Speaker 8: Know, very loud at the birthday party.

288
00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:24,480
Speaker 7: Then you go back on that. No, we're not going

289
00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:27,240
Speaker 7: to create that type of hurt within our children. We're

290
00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:29,400
Speaker 7: just not. We're just not in Your mom needs to

291
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:31,920
Speaker 7: go sit down and enjoy her own life because you

292
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:32,440
Speaker 7: have your own.

293
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:35,640
Speaker 3: Oh I just I got to think there's something very

294
00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:39,040
Speaker 3: adult going on here because it can't be about the child.

295
00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:42,280
Speaker 3: I mean sixteen, she's a kid like any raiser supposedly,

296
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,120
Speaker 3: so it can't be about the kid.

297
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:48,000
Speaker 7: So then he makes directed by that within himself, and

298
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:50,680
Speaker 7: if he does have conversations with his mom, then he

299
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:53,480
Speaker 7: needs to talk to his wife before and say, you

300
00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:55,320
Speaker 7: know what my mom said this. My mom said that

301
00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:58,000
Speaker 7: it's not a flat out no, but tell us talk

302
00:13:58,040 --> 00:13:59,680
Speaker 7: to it. But to just say a flat out no,

303
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,439
Speaker 7: that's a problem. That's the previous gentleman.

304
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:02,800
Speaker 8: He said.

305
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,600
Speaker 7: They went through out of the name change. I mean

306
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,320
Speaker 7: that's also an option, but to flat out no, the

307
00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:09,120
Speaker 7: answer for me is not.

308
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, thank you, kV. Have a great date. Thanks

309
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:20,720
Speaker 3: for listening. Appreciate you. Alicia, Hi, Alicia, Hi, Hey, good morning, welcome.

310
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:23,800
Speaker 3: What do you think you're the jury here? Tiky scored.

311
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:29,000
Speaker 9: So kind of a little similar situation. My parents have

312
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:32,040
Speaker 9: been together, which is my mom and my stepdad twenty

313
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,760
Speaker 9: seven years now. Came into our life when my sister

314
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:38,000
Speaker 9: was six and I was two. My sister asked, when

315
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,720
Speaker 9: she was like thirteen fourteen for him to adopt her.

316
00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:42,320
Speaker 9: He flat out said no.

317
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:43,920
Speaker 7: He said no, he.

318
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:47,160
Speaker 9: Wouldn't do it, even though he is our parent. He's

319
00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:50,560
Speaker 9: on all of our you know, emergency contacts, he has whatever,

320
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:51,400
Speaker 9: he's our stepdad.

321
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:53,600
Speaker 2: What was what words?

322
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:57,720
Speaker 9: I don't really know because I was so young and

323
00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:01,080
Speaker 9: I've never really like asked, yeah, I just know my

324
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:05,920
Speaker 9: sister still feels hurt by it and actually, like fast

325
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:10,240
Speaker 9: forward to quarantine time, my mom finds out that he's

326
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:14,360
Speaker 9: been messaging some lady like the love of his life.

327
00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:17,000
Speaker 9: And he also in those messages was like, I'm not

328
00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:18,680
Speaker 9: a dad to these two girls.

329
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,440
Speaker 2: See, you can't trust a man.

330
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:24,680
Speaker 3: Who see No, my gut tells me there's something going

331
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:28,040
Speaker 3: on at the relationship level, at the romantic relationship level

332
00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:28,880
Speaker 3: that's making this shy.

333
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:29,920
Speaker 2: Now that's said.

334
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:33,280
Speaker 3: That said that, even if they were to break up,

335
00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:36,120
Speaker 3: like if my parents were to break up, my dad's

336
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,640
Speaker 3: my dad, my mom's my mom, they're still going to

337
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,520
Speaker 3: be in my life. They don't have to be together.

338
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:43,480
Speaker 3: So that's weird too. But maybe he just doesn't want

339
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:45,080
Speaker 3: to go through all this. If he knows they're going

340
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:45,840
Speaker 3: to break up.

341
00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:49,480
Speaker 6: It could be, you know, maybe he's saving feelings later on.

342
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:50,200
Speaker 6: I don't know.

343
00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:51,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's crazy.

344
00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:55,840
Speaker 3: Well, see, there you go, this dude was there was

345
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,920
Speaker 3: There was nefarious nits going on here.

346
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,359
Speaker 2: It always is always.

347
00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:07,880
Speaker 3: You know, trust him, Yeah, you go a good one.

348
00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:10,920
Speaker 3: I don't know if nefariousness is a word, but it

349
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:11,680
Speaker 3: sounds good to me.

350
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:14,400
Speaker 2: Winter. Hi, welcome to the Friend Show. How are you,

351
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:16,160
Speaker 2: good morning?

352
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:16,960
Speaker 6: How are you guys?

353
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:20,760
Speaker 3: Winter, So Kiki's court, I'm just trying to make this

354
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:23,520
Speaker 3: as simple as possible, but it's it's it's the woman

355
00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:24,400
Speaker 3: riding in right.

356
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:27,320
Speaker 2: Yes, so she is. And is she married to this

357
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:28,280
Speaker 2: guy or they just together?

358
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:30,400
Speaker 1: No, she's married to him and they shared two other

359
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:33,400
Speaker 1: kids biologically together. But she had a daughter from a

360
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,200
Speaker 1: previous relationship, and this man has been in her daughter's

361
00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:36,920
Speaker 1: life forever.

362
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,000
Speaker 2: She's the only he's the only dad that she knows.

363
00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:42,640
Speaker 1: And the girl asked him to adopt her, and he agreed,

364
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,880
Speaker 1: But then later a week later, came back and renigged

365
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:45,120
Speaker 1: on it.

366
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:46,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, what do you think? Winter?

367
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:51,320
Speaker 8: So I was in a really very similar situation. I

368
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:53,680
Speaker 8: was raised by my stepdad. My parents got married when

369
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,800
Speaker 8: I was two or three, so my stepdad is my dad.

370
00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:00,320
Speaker 8: When I was sixteen, I asked my dad to me,

371
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,240
Speaker 8: And now at twenty eight, I have taken that back

372
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:07,119
Speaker 8: where now I do have a relationship with my dad

373
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:10,080
Speaker 8: full into adulthood. But I was the same way and

374
00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:12,240
Speaker 8: I was like, no, I really want my stepdad to

375
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:16,679
Speaker 8: adopt me. But coming into adulthood, I'm like, I really

376
00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:21,520
Speaker 8: wish I would have regretted my stepdad adopting me. Because

377
00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:24,080
Speaker 8: there's still an opportunity for her to have that relationship

378
00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:26,960
Speaker 8: with her dad that might be where he is coming from,

379
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:29,440
Speaker 8: where the mom is coming from, Like hold on, because

380
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,760
Speaker 8: if the dad really wants to reach out in adulthood,

381
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,840
Speaker 8: he doesn't have any right. Again, he shouldn't have a

382
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:37,480
Speaker 8: right because he wasn't there her entire life. So I

383
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:39,960
Speaker 8: see that part. But there is more sides to the

384
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,680
Speaker 8: story because she is just a teenager. She wants these

385
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,920
Speaker 8: decisions like yes, having that parental figure in your life,

386
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,840
Speaker 8: your entire life, and being like, no, that is my dad.

387
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,680
Speaker 8: That's how I feel about my stepdad. But I would

388
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,119
Speaker 8: have regretted it at sixteen had I asked him to

389
00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:57,680
Speaker 8: adopt me and not been able to have that relationship

390
00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:00,920
Speaker 8: with my biological father. So there's a little bit more

391
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:04,040
Speaker 8: to it. But I see everybody's point, where like, if

392
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:05,719
Speaker 8: the stuff that came back to me was like no,

393
00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:08,159
Speaker 8: I don't want to adopt you, I get that point.

394
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,159
Speaker 2: Too, man.

395
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,840
Speaker 3: I mean the kind I mean, the abandonment ceiling that you.

396
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,560
Speaker 3: I mean, that's the kind of stuff that lives with you.

397
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,959
Speaker 3: It would stay with you your whole life. Like this

398
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,159
Speaker 3: guy that raised me doesn't want me and I just

399
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,639
Speaker 3: can't imagine a world where it's about the kid. But

400
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:26,080
Speaker 3: you know, we don't know everything. But wow, Winter, thank

401
00:18:26,119 --> 00:18:27,480
Speaker 3: you so much for calling. You have a good day.

402
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:29,440
Speaker 8: Thank you guys. Love you guys.

403
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:31,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love you to. You just can't you can't

404
00:18:31,119 --> 00:18:31,760
Speaker 2: play with this stuff.

405
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:32,000
Speaker 5: Yeah.

406
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,280
Speaker 4: I was gonna just say when you turn eighteen though,

407
00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:36,879
Speaker 4: you're technically an adult, right, so like you can do

408
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,280
Speaker 4: and whatever as you please. So like, if you're by

409
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,119
Speaker 4: allowed to a dad does come around and knocks on

410
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:43,480
Speaker 4: your door, you're legally able to talk to him and

411
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,720
Speaker 4: have a relationship with him right after eighteen Or am

412
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:46,080
Speaker 4: I making this?

413
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:46,600
Speaker 3: Yeah?

414
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,240
Speaker 2: I mean it's a legal thing.

415
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:50,440
Speaker 3: And if he's raised her and the other guy hasn't

416
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,080
Speaker 3: been around, then I don't know why anybody would be surprised, Right,

417
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,520
Speaker 3: that's the way this went. But they wouldn't preclude you

418
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:58,240
Speaker 3: from having a relationship with your birth father. I mean

419
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,159
Speaker 3: I could still do that if I chose to know.

420
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:06,440
Speaker 3: And again I didn't. I didn't well get adopted. Uh yeah,

421
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:08,399
Speaker 3: because he went for cigarettes. Both of our days went

422
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:14,320
Speaker 3: for cigarettes. Ever came back. But I I'm yeah, I mean,

423
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,959
Speaker 3: if my birth father wanted to have a relationship with

424
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,760
Speaker 3: me or whatever, then that that's very that's still possible.

425
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:23,199
Speaker 3: And the fact of the matter is my dad who

426
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,679
Speaker 3: adopted me, the guy who raised me. I mean, that's

427
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:28,560
Speaker 3: it was that was appropriate for our relationship because well

428
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:31,280
Speaker 3: he was, he's been the guy exactly. So that doesn't

429
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:34,160
Speaker 3: mean you can't have a relationship with your birth father.

430
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:37,919
Speaker 3: He's not even around. So what indication do we have

431
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:43,120
Speaker 3: that's gonna happen. I don't know. I don't know. All right, well,

432
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:47,840
Speaker 3: Ki Ki, yeah, man, I think we're headed to divorce courts.

433
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:52,359
Speaker 1: I think we are, Lauren, sorry girl, Yeah, yeah, I

434
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:52,800
Speaker 1: know it is.

435
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:54,760
Speaker 3: The Entertainment Report will do it in two minutes after

436
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:55,560
Speaker 3: metro Boom and