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Speaker 1: Dearest John, It's been a fortnight since I felt your

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Speaker 1: warm embrace.

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Speaker 2: Dear Sam, such it has since we started the Okay

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Speaker 2: Storytell podcast.

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Speaker 1: Yes, and I have a message for you, a delicious

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Speaker 1: story that I think you'll love.

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Speaker 3: Sincerely Sam.

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Speaker 2: But before that, thine divine two minute at break must happen.

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Speaker 2: I bid thee farewell, see you in two minutes. My

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Speaker 2: girlfriend has so much debt and I feel like she's

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Speaker 2: hiding more.

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Speaker 3: Uh oh, drowning in debt. Shall throw her a little

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Speaker 3: life preserver.

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Speaker 2: Me and my girlfriend have been together for two years.

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Speaker 2: We live in my house seventy thousand of debt left

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Speaker 2: fifteen year mortgage. I'm a sole owner on the house

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Speaker 2: and she only pays one hundred and fifty bucks to

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Speaker 2: help towards utilities as my request. A few days ago,

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Speaker 2: I was talking to my thirty female girlfriend thirty two

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Speaker 2: female and jokingly said, do you have any secret debt

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Speaker 2: that I'll find out about when we get married. She

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Speaker 2: said she doesn't have any debt that she always makes

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Speaker 2: sure she repays the minimum credit card amounts. I laughed

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Speaker 2: and said that credit card repayments are debt, and she

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Speaker 2: says no, because she is paying towards it if I

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Speaker 2: pay it no debt. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 2: Purple A Data And if you want to make your

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Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subred.

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Speaker 3: I was shocked and how she could be so wrong,

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Speaker 3: and how financially ignorant she is.

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Speaker 2: We're in the process of starting our NHS fertility journey

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Speaker 2: and we have an appointment soon, and I have been

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Speaker 2: saving for a while because I'm pretty sure we'll have

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Speaker 2: to go privates as a same Spicy Sleep couple.

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Speaker 3: I asked her to.

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Speaker 2: Save money for a baby fun too, and she started

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Speaker 2: saving twenty pounds a week, which.

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Speaker 3: I know she spent part of already.

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Speaker 2: She doesn't have any saving so they asked her if

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Speaker 2: she knows how much debt she's in.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Do you have an estimate? Is it five hundred one thousand,

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Speaker 2: five thousand? Yeah, something like that, something like what? Oh,

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Speaker 2: like like one of those numbers. I don't think she's

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Speaker 2: hiding anything from me. I think she just doesn't realize

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Speaker 2: what debt really means. She thought I only meant money.

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Speaker 2: She stopped paying, which is insane. She was supposed to

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Speaker 2: according to her move her credit card debts to a

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Speaker 2: zero percent credit card, but the pin to register didn't

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Speaker 2: work or something like that, and she's weighed for a

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Speaker 2: new one.

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Speaker 3: When did you register? I don't know.

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Speaker 2: When I went to see my family. That was last November.

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Speaker 2: I know I've been busy. Okay, you don't have to

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Speaker 2: tell me, But for your own good, can you please

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Speaker 2: check how much you owe for each card and the

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Speaker 2: interest of each I don't have access to XX account

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Speaker 2: because of blah blah blah. Okay, what about the other

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Speaker 2: two credit cards? Well, I don't use the app. But

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Speaker 2: do you have an app that you can log into

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Speaker 2: and check? Yeah, but I don't use it. Why don't

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Speaker 2: you check it?

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Speaker 4: Then?

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: At that point I had to leave the room because

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Speaker 2: I didn't want to be mean. She says that she's

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Speaker 2: sure her debt is less than two thousand, but honestly,

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Speaker 2: I don't believe her anymore unless I see it with

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Speaker 2: my own eyes. But also she has her right to

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Speaker 2: not discuss it with me. I just mentioned that once

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Speaker 2: we got married, her debt is my debt too, so

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Speaker 2: I really need to know.

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Speaker 3: She's financially stable, slash educated.

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Speaker 2: She has ADHD and is bad at timekeeping and money spending.

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Speaker 2: But I didn't know it was that bad, and now

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Speaker 2: I worry if this is something that can break the relationship.

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Speaker 2: She started crying, saying, is this why you don't want

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Speaker 2: to marry me? I just don't like to be the

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Speaker 2: center of attention. And now I've left the house to

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Speaker 2: get some mayor, and I know she's crying in the

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Speaker 2: living room. Am I being irrational? Have I pushed her

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Speaker 2: too much? How should I approach things next time we talk?

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Speaker 2: And how can I help her with debt?

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Speaker 3: We have an edit? Thank you all so much for

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Speaker 3: your advice.

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Speaker 2: I sat down with her again and talked for a

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Speaker 2: long time about why this is important and why she

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Speaker 2: needs to tackle the issue asap. She told me she

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Speaker 2: wants to be better with money and not have that

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Speaker 2: weight on her shoulders anymore, and asked if I can

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Speaker 2: help her. I explained to her that we could check

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Speaker 2: her debt on clearscore. Thanks for the recommendation, and she agreed.

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Speaker 2: She registered and it turns out that she has five

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Speaker 2: credit cards and eight grand in debt.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, it's not that bad. I am very relieved.

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Speaker 2: It's not like bankruptcy, declaring I was thinking like like

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Speaker 2: thirty fifty eighty plus plus plus, and we've read stories

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Speaker 2: that people like two hundred grand credit card debt. It

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Speaker 2: gave me a mini heart attack, but I didn't show

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Speaker 2: it as I didn't want her to feel ashamed. And

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Speaker 2: she asked me, is this something doable? Then I said yeah,

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Speaker 2: but it will take you a bit longer than you said.

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Speaker 2: Two to three years might be more realistic than the

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Speaker 2: end of the year, as you said. She told me

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Speaker 2: she's going to give me her credit cards and give

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Speaker 2: me access to all her accounts so I can track

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Speaker 2: where the money's going. I'm a budgeting break. We'll have

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Speaker 2: a financial meeting every fortnights. She also will transfer five

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Speaker 2: thousand of the debt, the one with the highest interest,

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Speaker 2: to a zero percent interest card she opened and then ignored.

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Speaker 2: Baby fund is obviously passed away now, but I think

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Speaker 2: this has been a big wake up call for her,

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Speaker 2: as her dream has always been to be a mom,

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Speaker 2: and she realized it won't happen if this doesn't get sorted.

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Speaker 2: The good thing, if I can call it that, is

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Speaker 2: that she wasn't lying to me, and she honestly didn't

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Speaker 2: know she was in so much debt, as after a

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Speaker 2: certain amount, she got anxious and didn't check, but she

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Speaker 2: has never missed a payment at least. We have some

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Speaker 2: comments from Reditt recluse, Oh boy, just a remind her

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Speaker 2: that marriage is a huge financial commitment to another person.

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Speaker 2: It's not just a I love her, or it's a

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Speaker 2: what are we supposed to do? Really think hard if

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Speaker 2: you want to be strongly financially linked with someone who

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Speaker 2: doesn't know that credit.

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Speaker 5: Card debt is debt.

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Speaker 2: Willith says, I think this is more a relationship advice

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Speaker 2: question than i financial one. You clearly know what you're

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Speaker 2: talking about, but she's understandably quite anxious and ashamed avoidan

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Speaker 2: about the topic. How you approach this is all about

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Speaker 2: your relationship and how you navigate it. I would try

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Speaker 2: to position it as you and her against the problem.

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Speaker 2: You have skills, you can help her out, and you

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Speaker 2: can do it together and she can lean on you.

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Speaker 2: Anything that feels more like you're judging her for getting

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Speaker 2: into debt in the first place or incredulous because she

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Speaker 2: doesn't understand, is just going to come across like criticism

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Speaker 2: and be upsetting. This isn't I need to fix you,

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Speaker 2: It's a we can do this together and all these

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Speaker 2: great things. It needs to be done with the consequences

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Speaker 2: of not having debt rather than the consequences of having it.

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Speaker 2: So three months ago I posted here asking for some

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Speaker 2: vice about my girlfriend's debt.

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Speaker 3: Summarize.

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Speaker 2: Three months ago, I realized my girlfriend not only was

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Speaker 2: completely financially illiterate, i e. She had no idea that

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Speaker 2: paying a credit card was being in debt. She thought

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Speaker 2: that it was more like a big mortgage I know.

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Speaker 2: But also she was in credit card debt and she

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Speaker 2: didn't even know how much she owed, as she was

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Speaker 2: very ashamed of in denial.

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Speaker 3: She had five credit cards.

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Speaker 2: I was only aware of two, and not because she

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Speaker 2: was hiding them, but because they never came up in

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Speaker 2: conversation and was making minimum payments on all of them.

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Speaker 2: Thanks to your advice here, I signed in a clear

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Speaker 2: score to check how much that she was on two

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Speaker 2: hundred and fifty bucks all in with thirty plus percent

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Speaker 2: interest cards. My disappointment in her was her wake up call.

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Speaker 2: I am extremely money savvy, and I have savings to

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Speaker 2: cover her debt if needed, but I've worked hard for

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Speaker 2: it and I have made sacrifices, so it would have

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Speaker 2: seemed unfair. She never asked me to. For the record,

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Speaker 2: she would also never learn that way. So I told

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Speaker 2: her I'd help her by teaching her about finances, looking

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Speaker 2: for better options to transfer the debt, et cetera.

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Speaker 3: But the money.

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Speaker 2: Sacrifice would have to be hers. She's living rent free

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Speaker 2: except for one hundred and fifty bucks a month in

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Speaker 2: utilities in Opie's house.

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Speaker 3: Like, yeah, so she was a sweet deal.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, which I mean like if she had any kind

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Speaker 1: of income, she should, like it could should all go

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Speaker 1: towards paying off that debt.

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Speaker 2: Started by creating a version of the budgeting spreadsheet I

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Speaker 2: used for my finances, but she didn't know how much

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Speaker 2: she spent on different things. At first, I'd go through

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Speaker 2: her bank account with her and tell her where to

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Speaker 2: write every transaction twice a week.

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Speaker 3: After a while, she.

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Speaker 1: Can't believe that Opie is having to, like, baby someone

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Speaker 1: about finances this much. It's kind of crazy, Like is

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Speaker 1: someone like that ready to be a parent?

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Speaker 2: That is honestly, because it's like it's not, it's really

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Speaker 2: to me, not just the it's that that's a tip

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Speaker 2: of the iceberg. Yeah, and what else in there exists?

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Speaker 2: But it's like all the terrible finance shows right where

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Speaker 2: they come on. They're like, oh, yeah, I have like

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Speaker 2: six hundred grand in debt and I've never paid it.

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Speaker 2: After a while, she was doing it weekly by herself,

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Speaker 2: updating the spreadsheet while I updated my own spreadsheet. We

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Speaker 2: call them financial meetings and we have a nice tea

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Speaker 2: while doing it.

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Speaker 3: That's so cute.

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Speaker 2: After two months, we could see a pattern and tackle

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Speaker 2: where the money goes. For example, she was subscribed to Prime, Netflix,

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Speaker 2: Apple to be Disney blased now TV, and we basically

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Speaker 2: only watched Disney where I get a free thanks to

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Speaker 2: Alloyd's Perk and Netflix, so she canceled everything else.

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Speaker 3: Very smart.

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Speaker 2: She also transferred most of the debt to a zero

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Speaker 2: percent interest card, the debt with the highest interest, and

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Speaker 2: stop spending money on unnecessary things. Also, I know that

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Speaker 2: you're supposed to tackle the debt first before saving, but

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Speaker 2: I wanted her to have a little satisfaction of watching

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Speaker 2: her savings grow, which were previously zero, and getting her

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Speaker 2: into the habit of saving for her future. So every month,

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Speaker 2: on payday, I recommended her to send money to her

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Speaker 2: savings account and leaving it there and pay for her

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Speaker 2: credit card debt. So she knows how much she has

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Speaker 2: for the rest of the month. There's also tricks for

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Speaker 2: unnecessary spending, like she gave me all her credit cards

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Speaker 2: so she can't use them, deactivated Google pay, and cocktactless

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Speaker 2: payment so she has to physically introduce the card and

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Speaker 2: type the pinup.

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Speaker 1: Warren Buffett did this thing where he kept a journal

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Speaker 1: and every dollar that he spent he would write, write

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Speaker 1: it down in the journal and tally it up to like, actually, assess, Okay,

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Speaker 1: how much how much do I actually spend?

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Speaker 3: Makes you think? Guys? Makes you thank thanks billionaire?

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Speaker 1: Come on, you can track into how much you know,

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Speaker 1: Coca cola?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that day? How much oreo is he's eaten?

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Speaker 6: Ye?

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Speaker 2: This slight inconvenience makes her more conscious of the money

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Speaker 2: she's spending, et cetera, et cetera. The results, well, in

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Speaker 2: three months, not only has her debt not increased like

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Speaker 2: it was the trend before, but it's gone down to

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Speaker 2: seven thousand dollars, and considering she's low income right now,

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Speaker 2: I'm extremely proud. She's also put around seventeen hundred into

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Speaker 2: tackling her debt, although because only now we've managed to

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Speaker 2: transfer her debt to a zero percent interest card. The

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Speaker 2: high interests eate a lot of that, and her savings

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Speaker 2: are four hundred pounds. Seeing that if she wasn't in

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Speaker 2: debt right now, she would have twenty one hundred right

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Speaker 2: at this moment makes her even more willing.

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Speaker 3: To clear this debt hope.

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Speaker 2: He says, I just wanted to let people know, especially

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Speaker 2: people with partners that seem a bit irresponsible with money,

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Speaker 2: that changes possible, but they also need support and trust

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Speaker 2: and patience. I'm extremely proud of her and she's on

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Speaker 2: the path of clearing everything way before Christmas twenty twenty six,

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Speaker 2: which is the goal that I set for her. Also edit,

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Speaker 2: thank you for the good vibes after we felt something

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Speaker 2: very valuable and sharing, and thank you for the encouragement

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Speaker 2: and for sharing your own experiences, knowing that other couples

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Speaker 2: have been in our shoes and came out stronger, so reassuring,

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Speaker 2: and my girlfriend is over the moon with the support

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Speaker 2: and nice words. We'll get some quick comments. Daiam Aam

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Speaker 2: says you sound like a great partner, Opee, and it

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Speaker 2: seems like your girlfriend really wants to sort this out

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Speaker 2: and learn about finances now.

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Speaker 3: All the best of your future. View.

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Speaker 2: Sir Abde eighty five says, what a great up date.

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Speaker 2: I remember your original post. When I saw the new post,

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Speaker 2: I fear the worst. Well done you both, and Hope

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00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:55,320
Speaker 2: says thank you. She's not on ritits, but I showed

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Speaker 2: her the original post, even the mean ones. She cried

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Speaker 2: up with that one and found the comments that wanted

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Speaker 2: to give her real advice a useful. I'll show her

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Speaker 2: these ones too tonight for a bit of validation, because

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Speaker 2: she deserves a bit of recognition. She changed her habits,

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Speaker 2: which are really hard to change overnight. And it also

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Speaker 2: took some patience from me, because sometimes at the beginning

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Speaker 2: I just wanted to shout, how.

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Speaker 3: Do you not know about this?

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Speaker 5: Or why would you do this?

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Speaker 2: Patience and understanding is key, but also not letting them

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Speaker 2: play you. I told her a few times, ADHD in

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Speaker 2: your family background is an explanation of why it happened,

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Speaker 2: but not an excuse to never let it happen.

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Speaker 3: Oh good, great, let's go that. You know what that is?

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Speaker 1: What that is called growth and that is something we

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Speaker 1: love to see. Yes, financial growth, financial growth, all the ways.

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Speaker 2: My wife says she had a therapy session, but I

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Speaker 2: caught her cheating.

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Speaker 3: She was having an emotional affair with a therapist.

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Speaker 2: Oohul, that could be I thirty seven male caught my

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Speaker 2: wife cast thirty two female cheating on me.

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Speaker 5: We were married in twenty eighteen.

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Speaker 2: We met a few years before that through business because

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Speaker 2: we are in the same industry. By the way, this

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Speaker 2: comes from popular problem of four five sixty five and

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Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 2: the r slash Okay storytime sory aout it. So the

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Speaker 2: reason I married her was because I had major turmoil

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Speaker 2: in my life. Great reason to marry someone.

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Speaker 4: That doesn't sound like normal reasoning. But she stuck with me. Okay,

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Speaker 4: but she stuck with me.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 2: We had a small break before we got back together.

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Speaker 2: When we started talking again, I found out my father

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Speaker 2: was going to jail.

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Speaker 3: Congratulations. Oh no.

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Speaker 2: The terrible part is my father had custody of my

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Speaker 2: nephew Liam for Mayle at this time. I was the

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Speaker 2: only family member able to take him on because my

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Speaker 2: brother was also currently in jail.

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Speaker 4: My god, well, I think on a real level, now,

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Speaker 4: congratulations that you're not in jail.

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Speaker 5: Yes, there it goes.

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Speaker 3: It seems like it runs around in the family. A

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Speaker 3: little bit through this, she said we would do this together.

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Speaker 2: I knew I wanted to marry her right then and there,

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Speaker 2: so I asked her to marry me on a weekend,

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Speaker 2: and then we found out that she was miraculously pregnant

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Speaker 2: the following week.

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Speaker 3: Sounds a little too good to be true.

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Speaker 2: Miraculous we went from just talking again to a family

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Speaker 2: in no time. We were married in twenty eighteen, and

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Speaker 2: everything was great.

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Speaker 4: Teaches and creams, so beautiful as far as the eyes

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Speaker 4: can see.

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Speaker 2: Fast forward to twenty twenty one. We moved States because

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Speaker 2: I had to take a new job because our business

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Speaker 2: was derailed by the VID. This new job required me

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Speaker 2: to travel a lot, and she wanted to be close

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Speaker 2: to her family for help with our three kids. We

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Speaker 2: had two beautiful girls on top of my nephew. Cass

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Speaker 2: had to quit her last job and worked locally with family.

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Speaker 2: She hated being home because her family was full of

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Speaker 2: constant judgment and asks when help was needed from them.

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Speaker 2: It was like pulling teeth. It honestly pulled us down

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Speaker 2: and reminded her why she left the first time. Now

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Speaker 2: her old employer asked her back, but this job was

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Speaker 2: four hours away and without really discussing it extensively like

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Speaker 2: a couple should. It required her to be gone during

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Speaker 2: the week. Okay, it happened, right, I think this could

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Speaker 2: be doable. This could be doable. She was going to

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Speaker 2: work this into a remote position. But as she started

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Speaker 2: the job, she started to like being away. Put an

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Speaker 2: icee you in the chat if you see. She left

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Speaker 2: me to take care of the kids, which I love,

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Speaker 2: but it was hard and I felt abandoned. I still

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Speaker 2: traveled two days a week and had to rely on

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Speaker 2: and deal with her family, not to mention all the

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Speaker 2: duties of taking care of our three kids. She would

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Speaker 2: come home on the weekends and it would be fight

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Speaker 2: after fight. I wanted to needed help, but when she

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Speaker 2: came home, she would hardly want to hang out with us. Instead,

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Speaker 2: she'd go out with her brother and her friends. The

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Speaker 2: business we are in is primarily male. She started being

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Speaker 2: distant and we were hardly having spicy sleep anymore.

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Speaker 3: Well, one of you was hardly having spicy sleeping. Oh,

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Speaker 3: don't say it, don't say it. Down long it oh God.

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Speaker 2: But last summer we moved to where she was working.

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Speaker 2: Her time there changed her. She is a beautiful, tall,

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Speaker 2: blonde hm, who else fits that description? In this room

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Speaker 2: sitting next to me in a blue chair, me key

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00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:12,120
Speaker 2: On constantly getting hit on by her male coworkers and customers.

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00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:15,000
Speaker 2: She had a coworker, Seth thirty three mail, who I

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Speaker 2: knew before from being in the same industry.

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Speaker 3: I liked him.

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Speaker 2: I never felt threatened by him because all dealings with

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00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:23,040
Speaker 2: him had been good. He put out there that he

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00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,080
Speaker 2: was a moral man. As far as I could tell,

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Speaker 2: I did not feel threatened because he was not Cass's type.

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Speaker 2: After we moved, I tried everything I could to make

359
00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:36,400
Speaker 2: Cass happy, listening, emotionally, supporting, complimenting, and taking on any

360
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:39,080
Speaker 2: household task to try to make an effort, but.

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Speaker 3: To no avail.

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Speaker 5: He needs to do more, Dakota.

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00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:45,200
Speaker 4: You need to disguise yourself as the man she's boinking.

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00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:49,640
Speaker 5: Hmmm, brilliant. Now what I did was never good enough.

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Speaker 2: We finally got to a point where we both agreed

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Speaker 2: that therapy was our best option.

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Speaker 3: Are you sure about that? Are you sure about that?

368
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:56,480
Speaker 5: Are you sure?

369
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,160
Speaker 3: We agreed on individual therapy first.

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Speaker 2: She found an online therapist, which I thought wasn't the best,

371
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Speaker 2: but it was what she wanted to do. One day,

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Speaker 2: She asked me what my plans were later in the week,

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Speaker 2: and I told her I didn't have to travel and

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Speaker 2: I would be working from home. She asked if I

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00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:13,320
Speaker 2: could work from a coffee shop that day because she

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00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:17,480
Speaker 2: wanted space lock in. She wanted to work from home

377
00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:20,680
Speaker 2: that day and had a therapy session, so I said sure.

378
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Speaker 2: We've always shared a location due to safety. A few

379
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:26,640
Speaker 2: times had reached a weeks her location would randomly turn off.

380
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:29,560
Speaker 2: She said it was an issue with her phone. The

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00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:32,200
Speaker 2: day she had her session in the afternoon, she made

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00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,880
Speaker 2: sure my location was working and called me to make sure.

383
00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:38,600
Speaker 2: I felt it was suspicious. I asked her if everything

384
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,920
Speaker 2: was okay, and she said yes. I turned off my

385
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:44,080
Speaker 2: location in fifteen minutes before her session. She asked why

386
00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:49,480
Speaker 2: it wasn't working. Oh, that was brilliant. That was he

387
00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:52,880
Speaker 2: turns off the location and she right before the session

388
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Speaker 2: and she magically massages m Yeah.

389
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Speaker 3: Seems to know, like, hmm hmm, what's up? What's up

390
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Speaker 3: with my location?

391
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:02,040
Speaker 2: So I told her my phone must have had the

392
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:05,200
Speaker 2: same issue as hers. She asked if I was still

393
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:07,520
Speaker 2: at the coffee shop and I said yes. She said

394
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Speaker 2: I could come back in two hours. My spider senses

395
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:11,520
Speaker 2: went off.

396
00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:14,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, because it's probably the most suspicious thing someone could

397
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,040
Speaker 4: ask you.

398
00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:19,040
Speaker 3: Oh, I don't know exactly where you are anymore, right as.

399
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:21,760
Speaker 5: As of the second as of fifteen minutes ago.

400
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:24,720
Speaker 3: Don't come home for two hours, okay.

401
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:28,400
Speaker 2: So I left the coffee shop as I could see

402
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:31,240
Speaker 2: her location was not at the house. I drove back

403
00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:33,800
Speaker 2: and parked down the street. Five minutes later, I saw

404
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:37,840
Speaker 2: Seth and Cass both get out and walk into the house.

405
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:40,800
Speaker 2: It was obvious that she wasn't going to therapy. Well,

406
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:44,040
Speaker 2: a therapy of a different sense. You know, Seth, you

407
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:46,840
Speaker 2: don't know him. He could be a wonderful therapist.

408
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:51,960
Speaker 4: He has questionable methods, but he's a professional stress relief,

409
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:53,119
Speaker 4: consummate professional.

410
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:56,040
Speaker 7: I was going to say, something's therapeutic going on over there,

411
00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:58,360
Speaker 7: or maybe he's a consummating professional.

412
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:02,160
Speaker 2: Well, now it was obvious she wasn't going to therapy.

413
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,439
Speaker 2: I waited for ten minutes as my heart was beating

414
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:07,199
Speaker 2: uncontrollably and the thought of what I would find in

415
00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:08,840
Speaker 2: there and how it would ruin me.

416
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:12,679
Speaker 5: But I had to know. So I walked in and

417
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:13,920
Speaker 5: there was no one in the living room.

418
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,879
Speaker 2: There's no reason a man that cast works with should

419
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:19,359
Speaker 2: be in any other room. I made it to our

420
00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:23,919
Speaker 2: bedroom and opened the door to find them about to

421
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:25,120
Speaker 2: do the deat.

422
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:27,399
Speaker 3: Oh it do what it looks like? We were just

423
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:30,200
Speaker 3: playing dominoes.

424
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:31,479
Speaker 5: All no, no, no.

425
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:34,000
Speaker 2: He was about to say, how does that make you feel?

426
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:37,920
Speaker 2: And it's crazy because it works both ways. It works

427
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:39,040
Speaker 2: both ways.

428
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:43,120
Speaker 4: He's just an A plus therapist, yeah except for one issue.

429
00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:48,800
Speaker 2: To Coda, he was but a naked oh no, on

430
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,760
Speaker 2: my bed with her almost there.

431
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:54,800
Speaker 3: I looked at her and yelled, is this a new

432
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:59,360
Speaker 3: type of therapy? And then both of them went, eh,

433
00:17:59,440 --> 00:17:59,920
Speaker 3: that's fun.

434
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:01,560
Speaker 5: Ope, he's got jokes.

435
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,720
Speaker 3: He's got jokes. In the heat of the moment, he's

436
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:05,359
Speaker 3: got jokes.

437
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,600
Speaker 2: Both of them had utter shock on their faces. She

438
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:10,840
Speaker 2: ran after me, trying to say it wasn't what it

439
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:13,960
Speaker 2: looks like. Seth exited at as quickly as he could

440
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,840
Speaker 2: as Cass made sure that she was between us. I

441
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:19,640
Speaker 2: tried to leave, but Cass was physically blocking me. All

442
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:22,240
Speaker 2: I wanted to do was leave. I was a former

443
00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:25,879
Speaker 2: defensive lineman and used my old moves to evade her

444
00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:28,400
Speaker 2: rude without having to get physical.

445
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:34,200
Speaker 4: He chopped, he chopped, he just he hit with the discombobulation.

446
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:36,920
Speaker 4: He spun out of that house before she even knew

447
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:37,600
Speaker 4: what was going on.

448
00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:39,840
Speaker 5: Now, once I got some of my car, she blocks

449
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:40,440
Speaker 5: me from leaving.

450
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:41,480
Speaker 3: What what is she doing?

451
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,639
Speaker 2: In order to leave? I had to trick her like

452
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:46,240
Speaker 2: I wanted to talk, but I sprinted to the car

453
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:49,720
Speaker 2: and then took off. God wow, I think she broke

454
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,760
Speaker 2: a nail trying to grab the door handles out of

455
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:52,399
Speaker 2: speeding away.

456
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:54,359
Speaker 5: And we have an update.

457
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:57,800
Speaker 2: We're not even halfway through the saga, but I'm I'm

458
00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:01,720
Speaker 2: very glad because we need a talk. Oh yes, sir,

459
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:06,800
Speaker 2: my brother's in christ Ken. Let's start with you hit

460
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:07,239
Speaker 2: me with it?

461
00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:07,960
Speaker 3: What do you got?

462
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:11,320
Speaker 2: What's our next step? We literally just we drove away

463
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:15,000
Speaker 2: with a fingernail in the door. What what do we

464
00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:16,600
Speaker 2: do immediately from here?

465
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:16,879
Speaker 5: What is?

466
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:19,800
Speaker 3: What is? What is your next step? First?

467
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:22,240
Speaker 7: I gotta give her props. I'm a ligneman or a

468
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:25,520
Speaker 7: forward ligneman, and she blocked me the entire way. Can

469
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:28,159
Speaker 7: we talk about that for like a quick second. That's crazy.

470
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,440
Speaker 3: I mean he's probably going like five percent.

471
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:35,719
Speaker 4: Let's be real, do you think he's going full game

472
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:39,480
Speaker 4: speed at We need to stop talking sports. Literally, I

473
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:43,360
Speaker 4: mean he said he put his moves on her, you know, hey, yeah,

474
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,000
Speaker 4: but I think there's like a move. I imagine her

475
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,760
Speaker 4: at the front door, like arms like against a door,

476
00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:51,080
Speaker 4: being like you can't leave, and then he just hit

477
00:19:51,119 --> 00:19:53,880
Speaker 4: her with like a whush and just like she's like.

478
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:56,240
Speaker 3: Wait, how are you now behind me? And like because

479
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:59,680
Speaker 3: he just yeah, whatever. There's a lot of that kind

480
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:00,080
Speaker 3: of stuff.

481
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:00,560
Speaker 1: Yeah.

482
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:04,399
Speaker 7: Yeah, my the fact that I just saw a naked

483
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:07,720
Speaker 7: man on my bed, it's not what it looks like.

484
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,840
Speaker 7: My brain's going and spirals in every direction.

485
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:13,320
Speaker 5: I just need to wind down.

486
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:18,800
Speaker 7: Yeah, calm myself, gather myself and just say, honey, I

487
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,880
Speaker 7: think we're done. I think it's a divorce time.

488
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's that's too far.

489
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:25,960
Speaker 3: We need to beat. We need to beat thinking it

490
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:29,439
Speaker 3: might be time for a little D vorce.

491
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:33,400
Speaker 4: Oh oh, the D she's been getting full time.

492
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:35,320
Speaker 3: She's about to get two d's. She's gonna get the

493
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:36,200
Speaker 3: big D divorce.

494
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,240
Speaker 7: I don't need to question her anymore. I don't need

495
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,960
Speaker 7: any more evidence. I saw with my two own eyes.

496
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, on my bed, But guys, this isn't what it

497
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:46,199
Speaker 4: looks like.

498
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,679
Speaker 3: I just have a mole on my whatever part of

499
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:49,720
Speaker 3: me he was looking.

500
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:51,199
Speaker 2: At They both have a mole and they both are

501
00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:53,080
Speaker 2: expecting each other to make sure.

502
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:57,200
Speaker 4: Yes, that is safe. Totally platonic mole examinations.

503
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,240
Speaker 2: I just didn't want to worry you. All right, boys

504
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:03,080
Speaker 2: and girls, we have the updates. Let's get into it.

505
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:04,879
Speaker 3: Well, I'm scared, should be.

506
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:05,920
Speaker 8: I'm afraid.

507
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:09,720
Speaker 2: So while I was driving away, the first thing I

508
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:12,480
Speaker 2: thought of were my kids. I immediately drove to their

509
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,560
Speaker 2: school and picked them up. At this point, I was

510
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:17,560
Speaker 2: getting bombarded with calls and text from her. I decided

511
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,840
Speaker 2: to block her. My only thought of the situation was

512
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:21,679
Speaker 2: where are my kids and where they going to be okay?

513
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,160
Speaker 2: Even with what I just saw, I was still thinking

514
00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:26,919
Speaker 2: about what is best for them. Under my supervision and control,

515
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 2: I could make sure they were okay. Once I got

516
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:32,600
Speaker 2: the kids, I drove to a family member two hours away.

517
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,679
Speaker 2: This happened on a Friday, and I was able to

518
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:37,439
Speaker 2: take a weekend and have time with just me and

519
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,080
Speaker 2: the kids. During this drive, I started to get calls

520
00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:42,920
Speaker 2: from her mother, and she was our mediator. The only

521
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,639
Speaker 2: thing I told her was to say the kids are safe.

522
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:48,760
Speaker 2: I told her not to share anything else about our situation.

523
00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:51,879
Speaker 2: Mother in law agreed and told Casts that the kids

524
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:55,360
Speaker 2: were safe. The only thing that brought out positivity were

525
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,600
Speaker 2: the kids. We did a bunch of activities through the

526
00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:01,119
Speaker 2: weekend and had a great time together where their mom was.

527
00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:03,600
Speaker 2: I told them that this was a weekend for Daddy

528
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:06,120
Speaker 2: to spend time with them. I still wanted to put

529
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:09,119
Speaker 2: cast in a positive light and not to be and

530
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:11,480
Speaker 2: not to be spiteful to their mother. The kids will

531
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:14,320
Speaker 2: eventually make their own mind up. So some of my

532
00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:16,399
Speaker 2: close friends that had given me great advice in the

533
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:18,360
Speaker 2: past have told me that I'm doing the right thing

534
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,280
Speaker 2: by not acting rash.

535
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:20,639
Speaker 3: With the video.

536
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:24,440
Speaker 2: I could totally ruin her and seth, but what would

537
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:26,520
Speaker 2: that do to my kids? So I guess there is

538
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:30,639
Speaker 2: video evidence. I'm guessing maybe like a security camera or

539
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,439
Speaker 2: something wonderful, or maybe he was recording video.

540
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:36,119
Speaker 4: If he was recording, or if maybe it's a video

541
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:40,399
Speaker 4: of like the post confrontation, she's like trying to block

542
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,400
Speaker 4: them fingernails in the car.

543
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,760
Speaker 3: Right, Clearly he's got something.

544
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,840
Speaker 2: I mean, he was fully aware of what he was

545
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:49,680
Speaker 2: going into or knew it was going to be crazy.

546
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:52,320
Speaker 2: It's highly possible he could have started recording before he

547
00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:54,439
Speaker 2: opened the door. Wow, it's a I.

548
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,879
Speaker 3: Yeah. That's going to be the giveaway. That's going to

549
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:58,560
Speaker 3: be the getaway with it card for every now and

550
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:00,400
Speaker 3: that's AI. It's a I yah.

551
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:02,920
Speaker 2: But regardless, I am going to be able to put

552
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,879
Speaker 2: some stipulations on how we move forward one way or

553
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,040
Speaker 2: the other, and I'm trying to figure out what those are.

554
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,440
Speaker 2: I'm not trying to get back with her. I'm trying

555
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,080
Speaker 2: to find the best way to move forward for our kids.

556
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:16,280
Speaker 2: We have a second update.

557
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:20,440
Speaker 3: I think you should move forward without band together, yep.

558
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:24,200
Speaker 4: And you should move forward without outwardly hating each other

559
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:26,240
Speaker 4: for the kids.

560
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:29,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't let the kids know about it.

561
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:33,199
Speaker 4: Yeah, hate each other in the silence of your own hearts.

562
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:34,120
Speaker 3: Yeah.

563
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:34,639
Speaker 5: I don't know.

564
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:35,800
Speaker 3: You need to divorce.

565
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:39,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, just divorce, bro. Just That's that's all there is,

566
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:39,600
Speaker 2: straight up.

567
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:43,719
Speaker 4: Just divorce, divorce, and insulate the kids from it as

568
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 4: best as you can.

569
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:44,920
Speaker 5: Yeah.

570
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:48,800
Speaker 2: Update number two. Shit, I finally had to sit down

571
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:52,160
Speaker 2: with casts. Both she and Seth went into defensive mode,

572
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 2: trying to protect themselves as much as they possibly could.

573
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:56,160
Speaker 2: I guess Seth is now here too.

574
00:23:56,200 --> 00:24:01,840
Speaker 3: I'm sorry she and Seth. Seth is he he've got.

575
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:02,920
Speaker 5: His pants true.

576
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:03,760
Speaker 3: Oh God.

577
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:07,440
Speaker 2: First off, Opie says, I did an at home paternity test.

578
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:10,880
Speaker 5: Okay, both of the children are indeed mine.

579
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:11,639
Speaker 3: Ten we school.

580
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 5: There was some.

581
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:16,840
Speaker 2: Doubt based on what the Reddit community was saying, but

582
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,040
Speaker 2: I got the truth when I arrived at the house.

583
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:21,800
Speaker 2: The first thing that Cass wanted me to do was

584
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:24,120
Speaker 2: give me a hug. I denied her. She doesn't get

585
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:27,159
Speaker 2: to keep playing on my emotions anymore. I honestly felt nothing.

586
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:29,720
Speaker 2: As she began to cry, I wanted the upper hand

587
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,199
Speaker 2: of the conversation, so I let her go first. She

588
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:34,520
Speaker 2: began by telling me how sorry she was and how

589
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:36,359
Speaker 2: she can't get the image of my face out of

590
00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:38,520
Speaker 2: her head from when I walked in on her with Seth.

591
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 2: She said she had time to reflect on all the

592
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:44,159
Speaker 2: good things and the strides I made recently and realized

593
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,240
Speaker 2: that she was going a different direction in her head

594
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,760
Speaker 2: no matter what I did. The situation has made her

595
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:52,160
Speaker 2: realize what she did in having me as a partner.

596
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:54,920
Speaker 2: We haven't been intimate as of late. She told me

597
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:57,320
Speaker 2: that she was convinced that Seth would be a one

598
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,119
Speaker 2: time thing to see if she could be intimate with

599
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:00,680
Speaker 2: someone else.

600
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:05,000
Speaker 3: Buddy, suck. Who do you think I am?

601
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:05,560
Speaker 6: You?

602
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,480
Speaker 4: Oh boy, I think I'm the mayor of stupid town.

603
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:13,080
Speaker 4: You think I'm the captain of the dumb dumbs. I'm

604
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:13,960
Speaker 4: the team captain.

605
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,159
Speaker 2: She just wanted to try it to see if she

606
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:17,120
Speaker 2: could do it once.

607
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:20,439
Speaker 3: That's it. Oh oh, once you did? You go? Do

608
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:22,359
Speaker 3: you need to go back to kindergarten? Learn your numbers?

609
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,400
Speaker 3: Because you didn't just do this once. There is zero

610
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:26,640
Speaker 3: percent chance.

611
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,119
Speaker 2: I only did it this many times. I'm this, I

612
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:30,240
Speaker 2: cheat this many.

613
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:33,080
Speaker 3: No no, no, no, no, no, no, no no. You've done this the

614
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 3: whole time.

615
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,760
Speaker 4: You've been weird about your location. You've been doing this

616
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:38,080
Speaker 4: at the very least, at the very least.

617
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:38,719
Speaker 5: We shall see.

618
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:42,240
Speaker 2: She wanted to make sure that it wasn't just her

619
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:45,080
Speaker 2: in her emotional state on why she couldn't be emotionally

620
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 2: and physically intimate with me. I didn't believe this for

621
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:51,159
Speaker 2: one second. Yeah, she knew I had the video and

622
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:52,879
Speaker 2: asked me what I was going to do with it.

623
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:56,159
Speaker 2: With us being in the same industry, there were a

624
00:25:56,200 --> 00:26:01,440
Speaker 2: lot of implications that could happen, would ruin their reputations.

625
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:02,840
Speaker 5: Because her aunt seth there.

626
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:06,440
Speaker 2: I realized what she was saying earlier was a ploy

627
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 2: cass having these self absorbed person like tendencies.

628
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:12,199
Speaker 7: Uh.

629
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 2: It made me realize that's what she was worried about

630
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:18,280
Speaker 2: the whole time, and there goes my plan. I related

631
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:20,080
Speaker 2: to her that I don't believe her and that actions

632
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:22,560
Speaker 2: speak louder than words. Her asking what I was going

633
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:24,399
Speaker 2: to do with the video, told me that she was

634
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:27,440
Speaker 2: really worried about it. She asked me not to implicate

635
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 2: Seth and his job because he had a family.

636
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:34,880
Speaker 4: Oh, family needs to find out about this now.

637
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:35,919
Speaker 3: Huh hmmm.

638
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:38,760
Speaker 2: It was her decision, and she convinced him to bring

639
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:41,320
Speaker 2: him over and test to see if she could be

640
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 2: intimate again, which is complete.

641
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:45,840
Speaker 3: Bs's so cool. She's like, this was actually for you,

642
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,920
Speaker 3: This was for me to for better wife for you.

643
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:50,920
Speaker 5: This was science.

644
00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, I said, the moral man he is remembered, says

645
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:56,640
Speaker 2: a moral man. Don't forget that he should have known better.

646
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:58,919
Speaker 2: I understand what it's like to have a relationship with

647
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:01,360
Speaker 2: somebody at work, but there are lines you don't cross.

648
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:04,639
Speaker 2: He was in that bed too. I was pissed and

649
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,760
Speaker 2: realized how little of a priority I was again with

650
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:09,600
Speaker 2: my kids in mind, I need to make sure that

651
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,160
Speaker 2: I'm taking the correct steps to protect them and myself.

652
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:15,120
Speaker 2: I told her immediately that Seth needs to find another job.

653
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:17,800
Speaker 2: With our industry being very small, he should be able

654
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 2: to find one very easily due to the experience that

655
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,639
Speaker 2: you need. If he doesn't do this, this video is

656
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:27,320
Speaker 2: going to his work and to his wife. She deserves

657
00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:29,879
Speaker 2: to know. Yeah, she said she couldn't ask him to

658
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:32,640
Speaker 2: do that. I told her that this decision was both

659
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:34,760
Speaker 2: of yours and how am I supposed to just let

660
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:36,879
Speaker 2: everything go without consequences.

661
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 5: The world doesn't work like that.

662
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:40,320
Speaker 2: She said that she and Seth are not on speaking

663
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:43,040
Speaker 2: terms because of what had happened. He blames her for

664
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,520
Speaker 2: what happened. I told her, you'll see him at work.

665
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 2: I'm sure you can pull him aside. Not my problem.

666
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:51,480
Speaker 2: I then began to tell her that she needs to

667
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 2: go find a place immediately. She said she had no

668
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:57,359
Speaker 2: place to go. I said, not my problem. I would

669
00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,639
Speaker 2: take the kids to my other family members, but their

670
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:01,840
Speaker 2: school was close and I can't take them that far.

671
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:05,199
Speaker 2: There's no immediate family where we live. I told her

672
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 2: that I have the upper hand due to the evidence.

673
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,200
Speaker 2: Why would I be the one that would be forced

674
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 2: to leave, as well as Seth getting to keep his

675
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 2: job and his marriage. Intact, I did nothing wrong. I

676
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:18,480
Speaker 2: didn't deserve this. She said she didn't know what to do,

677
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:21,439
Speaker 2: and I said, that's not my problem. I explained to

678
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:25,959
Speaker 2: her that self absorbed people's tendencies affected me mentally and

679
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:29,800
Speaker 2: emotionally throughout our relationship. She needed to hear it because

680
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 2: self absorbed people think they never do anything wrong and

681
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:36,159
Speaker 2: then they gaslight She needed to hear everything I had

682
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 2: to say in order to become a better person and

683
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:41,560
Speaker 2: mother to our kids. But that's the extent of our

684
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:44,760
Speaker 2: relationship moving forward. I told her I'm not your friend

685
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:47,360
Speaker 2: anymore and not to bother me with any of her bs.

686
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:49,840
Speaker 2: In the past, she knew I was a problem solver

687
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:52,360
Speaker 2: and would use her problems to try to gaslight me.

688
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:56,360
Speaker 2: I asked her to leave after and she had no response.

689
00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:00,960
Speaker 2: We are imminently approaching the end of this saga here.

690
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 2: I have to ask you, does it seem oh? He's like, yeah, again,

691
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:11,440
Speaker 2: it's a little like scorched Earth without the early not

692
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:14,960
Speaker 2: scorched darts, but like we're kind of in that territory because,

693
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:18,560
Speaker 2: for example, he said, if Seth didn't get the job,

694
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 2: he would tell the wife and the work, but he's

695
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 2: not telling the wife if he gets a new job.

696
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 3: I just I don't agree with that. Yeah, I think

697
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 3: clearly he was cheating on his wife.

698
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 4: His wife should know that happened, that she's not just

699
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 4: living a lie.

700
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:36,320
Speaker 3: Yes, Yeah, I don't know.

701
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:39,480
Speaker 4: I think he just needs to talk to a lawyer

702
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:42,360
Speaker 4: man at this point, honestly, because he's got all this

703
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:45,160
Speaker 4: stuff and he's there's kids involved, and there's gonna be

704
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:46,400
Speaker 4: a divorce, and it's like.

705
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:49,800
Speaker 3: Get a lawyer, do whatever the lawyer says to do.

706
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:55,040
Speaker 4: But from a morally speaking standpoint, tell his wife.

707
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you don't have to do anything with work.

708
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:00,680
Speaker 3: Work will happen by itself. You not have to consider

709
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 3: yourself with the work.

710
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,920
Speaker 2: If if anything like and I mean he was more

711
00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:07,440
Speaker 2: talking about Seth's work, but I'm like, don't you want

712
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:09,840
Speaker 2: your wife to have a stable income.

713
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:13,920
Speaker 3: To contribute to the future of the kid. I mean, yeah,

714
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 3: that's what I'm saying.

715
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 4: It's like, you don't want to just blow up the work.

716
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:19,640
Speaker 4: That's always just like a uugh move. Yeah, unless you know,

717
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:23,479
Speaker 4: unless they're a danger to the people around them, or like,

718
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:28,040
Speaker 4: don't do that, Yeah, because it's just because guess what, now,

719
00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 4: she's gonna probably be looking for a way to get

720
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:32,960
Speaker 4: back at you, and then it'll happen again and again

721
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:34,000
Speaker 4: and again and again.

722
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:37,760
Speaker 7: So just I would say, just make it the cut,

723
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:41,280
Speaker 7: plain and simple divorce, Tell the wife and try and

724
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:43,479
Speaker 7: stay out of it as much as you can, because

725
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 7: you want to put yourself in the wife's Seth Seth's

726
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:49,440
Speaker 7: wife's situation as well, you would want to know.

727
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:52,720
Speaker 2: Too, exactly like he went to the house, Yeah, to

728
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 2: find out himself.

729
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:56,240
Speaker 7: So like who knows if they've done it at their

730
00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 7: house and you know how long this been going on.

731
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:01,280
Speaker 7: You don't need to put yourself in that. Just tell

732
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 7: the wife, let them deal with their situations and say bye,

733
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:07,120
Speaker 7: you know you did this.

734
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 5: One hundred percent.

735
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:12,000
Speaker 2: Agree have crimes or have punishments that fit the crime.

736
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:13,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's all, honor.

737
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 3: That's a good book.

738
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's all I'm asking. Well, let's get into this

739
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:21,560
Speaker 2: finale here. I plan to let Seth's wife know, and

740
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:24,720
Speaker 2: I want Seth gone from the company first in order

741
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:27,280
Speaker 2: not to affect my kids too much. I don't want

742
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:30,360
Speaker 2: Cass's job to be in jeopardy. However, if they don't

743
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:32,880
Speaker 2: do what I want, then that's their choice and they

744
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 2: know the consequence. Yeah, I feel he's doing too much

745
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:38,240
Speaker 2: or he's doing too much. I have contacted a lawyer.

746
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 2: We meet in the middle of the week. He will

747
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:42,440
Speaker 2: have it all laid out in front of him, even

748
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:44,360
Speaker 2: things from the past of our relationship.

749
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 5: We have a couple relevant comments.

750
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 2: Comment number one, by the way, a friendly reminder that

751
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 2: revenge corn laws exist. I'm pretty sure that OPI's at

752
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:54,360
Speaker 2: evidence quote unquote could be seen very differently in court.

753
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 5: A reply. It depends on the state laws.

754
00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:00,320
Speaker 2: But if you show the other person's spouse, it's not

755
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 2: under these laws against states defer. It's only illegal to

756
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 2: post them on Twitter only, pans or whatever platform. My

757
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 2: cousin did this with his wife and showed her a

758
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 2: fair partner's wife. She threatened to sue, but it didn't

759
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 2: hold up since she only showed the affair partner's wife.

760
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 2: Cousin had a clean divorce for the most part. Also, Yeah,

761
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:24,480
Speaker 2: don't definitely don't send that to work. Yeah, you send

762
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:27,600
Speaker 2: the evidence again, the work situation has nothing to do

763
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:29,600
Speaker 2: with you, and it probably would look.

764
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,880
Speaker 4: Bad on you because a court would be like so

765
00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:37,960
Speaker 4: the mother of your children. You jeopardized her financial stability because.

766
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:41,680
Speaker 5: That because he didn't get punished.

767
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:44,680
Speaker 3: I was mad. Okay, that's not good.

768
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:49,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, so but to fit the crime, tell the wife

769
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:51,480
Speaker 4: immediately shut up with the work stuff.

770
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:54,560
Speaker 1: Go tell the wife. Be Okay, hey it's Sam. We'll

771
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:56,440
Speaker 1: get back to the stories. But here's three minutes of

772
00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:57,640
Speaker 1: ads from our sponsors.

773
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:02,040
Speaker 4: My wife abandoned our family before our wedding, but now

774
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:06,440
Speaker 4: she wants back in deal me in partner. My story

775
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 4: begins sixteen years ago when I met Lucy. She was

776
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:14,680
Speaker 4: an amazing girl, intelligent, beautiful, fancy, funny, just the greatest

777
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:16,960
Speaker 4: girl I ever met. I felt so lucky when we

778
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,520
Speaker 4: started dating. By the way, this comes from user or

779
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 4: Ruby Rod Roby Rod Robbie Rod. There we go, and

780
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:24,880
Speaker 4: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

781
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:27,640
Speaker 4: the r slash. Okay storytime subredd it. So after a

782
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,960
Speaker 4: year into the relationship, we had a baby. I was

783
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:34,200
Speaker 4: living the dream living with my girlfriend, raising our little daughter,

784
00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:37,480
Speaker 4: being a happy family. I loved Lucy so much, and

785
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 4: after some years we were finally getting married. Our daughter

786
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:43,720
Speaker 4: was the most excited one about our wedding.

787
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 3: She was going to be the flower girl.

788
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:49,520
Speaker 4: Everything seemed to be perfect, but looks not always as

789
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:50,160
Speaker 4: they seem.

790
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:52,320
Speaker 3: Ooh do tell So.

791
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,680
Speaker 4: One day, when I was heading back home, a guy

792
00:33:55,760 --> 00:33:58,000
Speaker 4: wanted to talk with me. At first, I believed he

793
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:01,640
Speaker 4: may want to sell me something until he met Lucy politely,

794
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:04,000
Speaker 4: he asked me to talk in a private place. He

795
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 4: then asked me to please stop everything about the wedding

796
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 4: and step back, because he and Lucy wanted to be together.

797
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:16,360
Speaker 9: Oh at least he said please, So I didn't believe

798
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:19,600
Speaker 9: him hmmm, until he started to tell me a lot

799
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:23,319
Speaker 9: of details about Lucy that would be impossible to know.

800
00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:26,080
Speaker 4: I returned home as fast as I could. I didn't

801
00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:28,400
Speaker 4: want this to be true and told her about it,

802
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 4: hoping it was all a mistake.

803
00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:31,240
Speaker 3: But no, it wasn't.

804
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:34,280
Speaker 4: The next hour, she told me everything she'd been cheating

805
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:37,080
Speaker 4: on me for the last two years. She told me

806
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:39,600
Speaker 4: about how all the times she said she loved me,

807
00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:41,920
Speaker 4: that she wanted us to be together, and she loved

808
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:44,600
Speaker 4: our family were all lies.

809
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:47,279
Speaker 3: In a moment of silence for this guy, real quick.

810
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:50,960
Speaker 4: Wow, all right, she told you your life is a lot.

811
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:52,680
Speaker 5: That's tough, partner.

812
00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:53,600
Speaker 10: oOoOO.

813
00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:57,400
Speaker 3: She then told me how her new man was younger

814
00:34:57,440 --> 00:35:00,800
Speaker 3: and stronger and handsome and a better love. Oh God,

815
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:03,360
Speaker 3: this is a cartoon. The worst they can say is

816
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:04,200
Speaker 3: no God.

817
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:06,840
Speaker 4: She said that she didn't want to be tied to

818
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 4: me now she lost her freedom for being a mother,

819
00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 4: and she didn't want to be a wife, that she

820
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 4: wanted her freedom back. The final stab was when she

821
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:17,200
Speaker 4: said she was happy that I finally knew and now

822
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:18,279
Speaker 4: she was able.

823
00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:19,400
Speaker 3: To leave speechless.

824
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:24,080
Speaker 4: Speechless, I cried, begged, humiliated myself, and got on my knees,

825
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:27,680
Speaker 4: asking for another chance to try to fix our relationship.

826
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:28,839
Speaker 3: But she didn't want it.

827
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:33,200
Speaker 4: She wanted the thrill and excitement that this new guy

828
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:36,399
Speaker 4: made her feel. By the next day, she left us.

829
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 4: My daughter was heartbroken. Oh her mother.

830
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:43,480
Speaker 3: Left and she believed it was her fault. Fortunately we

831
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 3: had help.

832
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:48,719
Speaker 4: My family and Lucy's family supported us in any way possible.

833
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:51,840
Speaker 4: Her parents were so ashamed of their daughter's actions that

834
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 4: they couldn't look me in the face without apologizing for

835
00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:55,479
Speaker 4: everything she did.

836
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:58,640
Speaker 3: I will be in debt to everyone forever for all

837
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:03,080
Speaker 3: their help. Fast forward or we're ten years later.

838
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:03,600
Speaker 5: WHOA.

839
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:06,960
Speaker 4: After lots of time and therapy, my daughter and I

840
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:11,240
Speaker 4: are living happily. She is the light of my life,

841
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:13,719
Speaker 4: a beautiful fifteen year old lady who I love.

842
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:17,680
Speaker 3: Our wounds are healed and we have a very good life. Hey,

843
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:22,040
Speaker 3: but then no, she came back. She's back. Here we go.

844
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:24,640
Speaker 4: When my daughter and I were getting back home, we

845
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:28,200
Speaker 4: found Lucy in front of our apartment waiting for us,

846
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 4: wanting to talk. I recognized her immediately, and I would

847
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:34,400
Speaker 4: like to say that I did something cool, like ignoring

848
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,879
Speaker 4: her or asking her to leave, or like at least

849
00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 4: being hostile with her. But no, I'm an idiot. My

850
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:42,759
Speaker 4: heart skipped to beat the moment I saw her. She

851
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:47,360
Speaker 4: was still beautiful as before, but somehow she looked even better.

852
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:50,960
Speaker 4: Maybe the age made her look mature and elegant. Maybe

853
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:53,400
Speaker 4: the dress or the makeup. I don't know, but I

854
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:55,920
Speaker 4: let her in while our daughter gave us some space

855
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:58,279
Speaker 4: and went to her room. She told me everything she

856
00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:01,439
Speaker 4: did since she left. Basically, she lived with that guy

857
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:04,440
Speaker 4: for a handful of years. She said how much she

858
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:07,120
Speaker 4: enjoyed it, all the fun she got, and how she

859
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:10,000
Speaker 4: believed those were the best years of her life until

860
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:13,400
Speaker 4: she noticed that the excitement of that new relationship was

861
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:14,200
Speaker 4: fading slowly.

862
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:14,760
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.

863
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:19,080
Speaker 4: Did this idiot just realize? Like good things don't last forever? Like,

864
00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:21,880
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, Children learn but this concept when they're like

865
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:26,480
Speaker 4: nine five, even younger. At some point, she started to

866
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,239
Speaker 4: cheat on that guy too. According to her, she wanted

867
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:31,919
Speaker 4: to feel alive and excited. Oh so at this point,

868
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:33,480
Speaker 4: I'd be like, what are you doing here?

869
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 3: Yeah? Why are you here? Why are you telling me this?

870
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:39,040
Speaker 2: But you know how painful it is to hear You'd

871
00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:41,680
Speaker 2: be like, oh so all these years and great life, Yeah,

872
00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:42,800
Speaker 2: it makes me feel like crap.

873
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 5: And I finally like, is this sort of an idiot goose?

874
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:49,080
Speaker 3: Are the best years of my life? And I still

875
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:51,879
Speaker 3: cheated on him? Do you want me back? By the way,

876
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:53,520
Speaker 3: are you crazy?

877
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:54,239
Speaker 5: Yes?

878
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:55,880
Speaker 3: Oh my god, yes no.

879
00:37:56,640 --> 00:38:01,000
Speaker 4: Eventually that relationship ended and she started dating other guys.

880
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:04,799
Speaker 4: Every relationship became shorter than the previous one, until she

881
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:08,239
Speaker 4: only had casual hookups. She also said that sometimes she

882
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:10,880
Speaker 4: thought about us and our family, but she said she

883
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:13,400
Speaker 4: was too proud to admit she made a mistake until

884
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:15,920
Speaker 4: last year she got the VID and it hit her

885
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:18,439
Speaker 4: really are to the point where she believed she could

886
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:21,760
Speaker 4: pass away and realized how alone she was, how stupid

887
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:24,439
Speaker 4: she was, and the mistake she made so long ago.

888
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:29,719
Speaker 3: Yep, right, glad you know that. Now go away. That's

889
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:31,600
Speaker 3: perfectly times. Wow.

890
00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:35,480
Speaker 5: Wow, I'm so glad we got that.

891
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:37,080
Speaker 10: Wow.

892
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 3: That was another team effort.

893
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:42,920
Speaker 4: After all of that, she said she regretted everything she

894
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:45,840
Speaker 4: did and said, and now she was ready to marry

895
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:48,279
Speaker 4: me and be the family we were always meant to be.

896
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:51,440
Speaker 3: When she was done, I asked her to leave to

897
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:52,920
Speaker 3: give me some time to think.

898
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 4: I'm so mad that you need longer than a half

899
00:38:56,680 --> 00:39:00,800
Speaker 4: second to think about this, op dude. She accepted, saying

900
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:03,319
Speaker 4: she would be back the next day. For years, I

901
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:06,440
Speaker 4: dreamed about her coming back, and now it was happening,

902
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:10,240
Speaker 4: but it just felt wrong. Since then, she visits almost daily,

903
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:13,359
Speaker 4: wanting to talk about the best years of our relationship

904
00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:16,480
Speaker 4: and how we could be a happy family again. I

905
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 4: asked for help from my family and friends. Most of

906
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:24,279
Speaker 4: them said I would be making the worst mistake of

907
00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 4: my life if I took her back.

908
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:30,759
Speaker 3: That's correct. It's basically on a big.

909
00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:35,400
Speaker 4: Flashing neon sign right in front of you, like a runaway.

910
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:41,400
Speaker 3: Others have said that I should give her a chance.

911
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:43,279
Speaker 4: It took me a lot to heal and some more

912
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:45,960
Speaker 4: time to start making new relationships, and I would be

913
00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:48,960
Speaker 4: risking everything. One night, my daughter and I had a

914
00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:51,840
Speaker 4: deep conversation about all this. I always try to involve

915
00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:53,880
Speaker 4: her in every part of our life, and this issue

916
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:58,480
Speaker 4: concerned her too, because it's her mother. Sometimes she surprises

917
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:02,240
Speaker 4: me being so wise mature, because she told me, quote,

918
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:03,600
Speaker 4: can you really love someone.

919
00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:06,080
Speaker 3: That hurts us so much? And that was everything I

920
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:08,080
Speaker 3: needed there. It is God from the.

921
00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:10,879
Speaker 4: Mouth of babes and it was your babes, the one

922
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:13,480
Speaker 4: you had with your ex wife, who should.

923
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:15,640
Speaker 3: Still be your ex wife.

924
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:19,359
Speaker 4: Yes, I would never forgive myself if I let her

925
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:21,840
Speaker 4: hurt my daughter again. And I said that to Lucy

926
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 4: if she wants to be around or have a relationship

927
00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:26,880
Speaker 4: with our daughter, I'm okay with it only if my

928
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:27,680
Speaker 4: daughter wants it.

929
00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:30,960
Speaker 3: But I told her we are not getting back together.

930
00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:33,640
Speaker 4: Lucy only said that she would make me fall in

931
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 4: love with her again and that she would not give up.

932
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:37,120
Speaker 3: And there's an update.

933
00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:40,840
Speaker 10: Wow, John, John, what do you have to say about.

934
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:44,239
Speaker 3: This, Dade? What are we saying? This is okay? Like

935
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:47,040
Speaker 3: we get stories where there's a little nuance.

936
00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:51,640
Speaker 2: We get stories where we get to see the beautiful

937
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:56,640
Speaker 2: and complex tapestry that is the human experience. This one

938
00:40:57,320 --> 00:41:00,920
Speaker 2: is as black and white and so and on a

939
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:04,000
Speaker 2: billboard right in front of her face as it possibly

940
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:07,960
Speaker 2: can be. And that billboard Reid's run. Here's the update.

941
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:11,040
Speaker 2: We're gonna get into it. Let's go. Since the post,

942
00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:14,000
Speaker 2: she had been insisting on meeting. She wanted to talk.

943
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,839
Speaker 4: I decided to have one last talk with her and

944
00:41:16,880 --> 00:41:17,880
Speaker 4: set my boundaries.

945
00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:20,319
Speaker 3: So we met in a public place. The talk was

946
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:21,040
Speaker 3: long and hard.

947
00:41:22,719 --> 00:41:26,120
Speaker 4: I wanted her to be honest, and I told her

948
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:28,759
Speaker 4: the moment I caught a lie I was leaving, I

949
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:31,879
Speaker 4: asked if she was really sorry or are we her

950
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:34,680
Speaker 4: last option? M Did she really love us or are

951
00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:38,080
Speaker 4: we just a consolation prize? Did she come back for

952
00:41:38,239 --> 00:41:42,719
Speaker 4: love or because she was unable to find another man anymore.

953
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:45,360
Speaker 4: She was unable to answer any of that. She only

954
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:48,360
Speaker 4: said things like, it's not like that. You need to

955
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:52,520
Speaker 4: understand me. I'm not like this anymore. She kept insisting

956
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:54,799
Speaker 4: on giving her another chance, that we can love each

957
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:57,719
Speaker 4: other again, that we could be together. She never even

958
00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:02,160
Speaker 4: mentioned our daughter at any moment. Only after I pointed

959
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:04,399
Speaker 4: it out she started to mention her When I tried

960
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,800
Speaker 4: to settle that we were over. She grabbed my hand,

961
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:08,600
Speaker 4: and as some of you told me she would do,

962
00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 4: she tried to seduce me. Uh oh, putting down her

963
00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:19,279
Speaker 4: what house, showing me her cleavage and saying we can

964
00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:21,640
Speaker 4: find a room so we can do something to compensate me.

965
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:24,799
Speaker 4: What this is truly a person who doesn't understand how

966
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:29,239
Speaker 4: to move through life in a non transactional fashion. Every

967
00:42:29,239 --> 00:42:31,440
Speaker 4: relationship she's in, she's like, oh, you're no longer giving

968
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:32,520
Speaker 4: me that thing that I want.

969
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:35,120
Speaker 3: Because of that, I'm justified in leaving you.

970
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:37,919
Speaker 4: And she did that over and over and over again,

971
00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:40,440
Speaker 4: learned nothing, and came back to Opie.

972
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:44,200
Speaker 7: She said, I'm going to compensate you because I left

973
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:45,880
Speaker 7: you and I've been cheating.

974
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:52,719
Speaker 2: Oh dude, compensate also crazy word crazy one. Yeah, just

975
00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:55,000
Speaker 2: just on top of everything all the other insanity.

976
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:56,040
Speaker 3: Just wow.

977
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:59,680
Speaker 4: So I didn't recognize that woman. She was not the

978
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 4: a I met, not the mother of my daughter. I

979
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:06,760
Speaker 4: don't know who that woman was, but she wasn't my Lucy.

980
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:08,480
Speaker 4: I told her to let me go and that we

981
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:11,480
Speaker 4: were over. Neither I nor my daughter wanted anything to

982
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:14,480
Speaker 4: do with her, so please leave us alone. We were

983
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:17,560
Speaker 4: living a good life without her. She then went mad,

984
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,400
Speaker 4: saying I couldn't leave her and that it wasn't my

985
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:23,960
Speaker 4: choice and that she doesn't have anything else that I

986
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:25,560
Speaker 4: can't take away her daughter.

987
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:27,840
Speaker 3: Dang, you should thought about that before you abandoned her

988
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 3: ten years ago hip and then did nothing for ten years. Yeah,

989
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:33,640
Speaker 3: where was this energy? Crazy?

990
00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:37,279
Speaker 4: I still don't know why, but the last sentence triggered me.

991
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:40,760
Speaker 4: The next are not my exact words, but are close

992
00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:45,680
Speaker 4: to what I said at the moment. Quote your daughter daughter,

993
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:49,319
Speaker 4: You are not her mother. You only gave birth to her,

994
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:52,439
Speaker 4: but you are not your mother. Tell me where were

995
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:55,000
Speaker 4: you when she was sick? Where were you when she

996
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:57,640
Speaker 4: had a fever, which she was scared in the night,

997
00:43:57,760 --> 00:44:00,840
Speaker 4: when her first teeth fell out, when she cried in

998
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:03,560
Speaker 4: the nights because she missed her mom? Where were you

999
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 4: on her first day of school, when she had her

1000
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:08,839
Speaker 4: first period, when she had her first boyfriend, when her

1001
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:11,759
Speaker 4: heart broke for the second time, because the first one

1002
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:12,400
Speaker 4: who broke.

1003
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:12,960
Speaker 3: It was her mother?

1004
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:15,839
Speaker 4: Which, dude, were you writing when she needed a mom

1005
00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:18,399
Speaker 4: to have no right to claim you are her mother

1006
00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:20,319
Speaker 4: because you never acted like that.

1007
00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:27,040
Speaker 2: Yes, Opie, that's the type of energy we should have

1008
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:28,120
Speaker 2: had the first time.

1009
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:30,879
Speaker 3: But that's okay. That's okay because we have the energy now.

1010
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:34,840
Speaker 3: We got there. We got there. Yeah, stikes.

1011
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:38,680
Speaker 4: She tried to reply, but I saw how she was

1012
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:40,080
Speaker 4: unable to find the words.

1013
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:41,839
Speaker 3: I left her back at home.

1014
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:45,000
Speaker 4: She sent me some texts asking for another meeting, for

1015
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:46,840
Speaker 4: another chance, saying.

1016
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:49,240
Speaker 3: That she loves me and she can change, but I'm done.

1017
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:50,120
Speaker 3: You all were right.

1018
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:53,719
Speaker 4: She doesn't love me or our daughter at all. She

1019
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:58,680
Speaker 4: only loves herself. Having her in my life would be

1020
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:01,759
Speaker 4: bad and talks. I don't need that and I don't

1021
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:04,040
Speaker 4: need her. My daughter and I are going back to

1022
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:06,719
Speaker 4: therapy soon. Some of you were right. I need to

1023
00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 4: work on myself, be stronger, and get over those feelings

1024
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:13,759
Speaker 4: for her, because they're not real, just a memory of

1025
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:16,360
Speaker 4: what I thought she was. A great place to erase

1026
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 4: all those memories is the gym.

1027
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:20,759
Speaker 5: My guy dacoded, Bro Dakota is ready to ready to

1028
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:21,320
Speaker 5: freaking lift me.

1029
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:24,399
Speaker 4: I feel like I could, as a weak, relatively weak

1030
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:27,000
Speaker 4: individual who needs to go to the gym more. If

1031
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:29,960
Speaker 4: I read that sentence like three times in a row,

1032
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:34,840
Speaker 4: I could bench to fifty hulk just just from pure rage.

1033
00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:36,440
Speaker 4: I could bench to fifty Up.

1034
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:36,920
Speaker 3: There we go.

1035
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:40,719
Speaker 6: I told my fiance about my past and she's not

1036
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:43,920
Speaker 6: happy about it. Let you get up to I twenty

1037
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:47,640
Speaker 6: six mail am a pretty successful graphic designer. I was

1038
00:45:47,719 --> 00:45:50,000
Speaker 6: already working from home for a lot of projects for

1039
00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:53,640
Speaker 6: a long time before everyone started self quarantining and practicing

1040
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:54,600
Speaker 6: social distancing.

1041
00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:55,440
Speaker 8: While I am.

1042
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:58,640
Speaker 6: Definitely not part of the essential workforce, I have still

1043
00:45:58,640 --> 00:46:00,799
Speaker 6: managed to find some work to keep me busy. By

1044
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:03,440
Speaker 6: the way, this comes from clown fo and if you

1045
00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:05,080
Speaker 6: want to see your own stories, go to the r

1046
00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:09,000
Speaker 6: slash Okay storytime subreddit. My fiance, twenty six female, has

1047
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:11,920
Speaker 6: been four load from work and as such has been

1048
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:14,560
Speaker 6: staying home with me, and we've been spending a lot

1049
00:46:14,600 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 6: of quality time together. One night, we were having fun

1050
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:20,640
Speaker 6: and joking together and I jokingly said that everyone does

1051
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:23,560
Speaker 6: weird things for money when they're in school, like start

1052
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:27,160
Speaker 6: an Etsy or sell feet picks. She joked back and

1053
00:46:27,239 --> 00:46:30,680
Speaker 6: fake accused me of selling substances. I told her it

1054
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:35,879
Speaker 6: wasn't anything illegal, elicit, nothing related to spicy sleep or substances,

1055
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,640
Speaker 6: but then accidentally let it slip that it was just

1056
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:42,160
Speaker 6: embarrassing to me personally. And then after a second, she

1057
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:43,840
Speaker 6: stopped laughing because.

1058
00:46:43,640 --> 00:46:44,480
Speaker 8: It became real.

1059
00:46:44,719 --> 00:46:46,879
Speaker 6: We talked about it, and I said, I didn't want

1060
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:49,759
Speaker 6: to talk about it because it's super embarrassing and it

1061
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:51,200
Speaker 6: isn't who I am at all.

1062
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:53,320
Speaker 11: Ah, But now you've you've set it up like you

1063
00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:55,920
Speaker 11: I'm only going to be thinking about this until you

1064
00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:56,239
Speaker 11: tell me.

1065
00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:59,360
Speaker 6: She said that she understood and gave me my space

1066
00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:02,480
Speaker 6: about it for couple of days. But after that couple

1067
00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:05,400
Speaker 6: of days she seemed uncomfortable, and when I asked her

1068
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:08,360
Speaker 6: about it, she admitted she was concerned about what I

1069
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:09,160
Speaker 6: did for money.

1070
00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:11,000
Speaker 8: I told her it wasn't anything huge.

1071
00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:13,200
Speaker 6: I really just didn't want to talk about it, and

1072
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:15,719
Speaker 6: I wished her to respect that and to trust me,

1073
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:18,319
Speaker 6: but I could tell her not knowing was beginning to

1074
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:21,840
Speaker 6: genuinely upset her. That night, I thought long and hard

1075
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:24,080
Speaker 6: that this is the woman I want to marry, and

1076
00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:27,319
Speaker 6: I should be open about my past. So relented and

1077
00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:28,400
Speaker 6: told her the truth.

1078
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:29,960
Speaker 8: I used to be a clown.

1079
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:32,879
Speaker 6: She was unhappy that it was something I hit from her,

1080
00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:35,080
Speaker 6: but it was a period of my life over the

1081
00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:38,480
Speaker 6: course of two and a half months and about twelve parties.

1082
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:41,600
Speaker 6: She has been told to me since and That really

1083
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:44,080
Speaker 6: sucks because we have been spending a lot of time

1084
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:46,560
Speaker 6: together and we aren't really talking as much as we

1085
00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:50,040
Speaker 6: have been. From what I understand, she's probably more upset

1086
00:47:50,080 --> 00:47:52,400
Speaker 6: that I had to be pressed to tell her than

1087
00:47:52,480 --> 00:47:55,200
Speaker 6: admit to her of my own volition, and I think

1088
00:47:55,200 --> 00:47:58,080
Speaker 6: I may have violated her trust. Honestly, the clown thing

1089
00:47:58,200 --> 00:48:00,839
Speaker 6: just never came up, because who talked about their part

1090
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:03,880
Speaker 6: time jobs from almost five years ago. It's not on

1091
00:48:03,920 --> 00:48:06,360
Speaker 6: my resume and it was before we started dating. But

1092
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:08,400
Speaker 6: I did end up sitting down with her and telling

1093
00:48:08,440 --> 00:48:12,680
Speaker 6: her everything. Now I'm so, so so scared that was

1094
00:48:12,719 --> 00:48:15,760
Speaker 6: a mistake because of how she's acting now. She hasn't

1095
00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:18,880
Speaker 6: told anyone, and though we haven't really argued either, But

1096
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:21,919
Speaker 6: now I'm wondering if I'm just reading into how she's

1097
00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:25,000
Speaker 6: acting and obsessing over this new piece of information I

1098
00:48:25,120 --> 00:48:27,680
Speaker 6: put into her world. It feels like there's a new

1099
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:30,319
Speaker 6: distance between us now. I wasn't hiding the fact that

1100
00:48:30,360 --> 00:48:33,120
Speaker 6: I was a semi professional clown out of malice.

1101
00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:33,839
Speaker 8: I wasn't part of.

1102
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:37,080
Speaker 6: Any unions or anything, just kind of a performer for hire,

1103
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 6: but more out of embarrassment because it's far and away

1104
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:43,120
Speaker 6: from the type of work I do and the person

1105
00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:45,920
Speaker 6: I am today. Honestly, it's not a dark period of

1106
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:48,560
Speaker 6: my life or anything, and I think the story itself

1107
00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:51,160
Speaker 6: is interesting. I'm one of those types that think some

1108
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:54,160
Speaker 6: bad decisions can make good stories to a degree, but

1109
00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:56,319
Speaker 6: it's not something I like to talk about because while

1110
00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:59,080
Speaker 6: it is an objectively fun story, it doesn't have a

1111
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:00,640
Speaker 6: particularly good ending.

1112
00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:03,280
Speaker 8: My act was very specific and weird.

1113
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:06,640
Speaker 6: Only two or three friends know about it, I think

1114
00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:09,120
Speaker 6: because they were at the party where I got the

1115
00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:11,759
Speaker 6: idea to perform as a clown for money, and I

1116
00:49:11,840 --> 00:49:14,600
Speaker 6: literally just use the same costume from that party for

1117
00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:18,239
Speaker 6: my All things considered, I was pretty successful for what

1118
00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:20,799
Speaker 6: amounted to some weekend gigs. I didn't want it to

1119
00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:22,879
Speaker 6: be something weird that would follow me for the rest

1120
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:25,120
Speaker 6: of my life, so I was secretive about it for

1121
00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:27,600
Speaker 6: those couple of months. I was always paid in cash,

1122
00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:30,880
Speaker 6: never checked, and this was before electronic payments were huge,

1123
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:34,160
Speaker 6: as in I didn't have Venmo or do PayPal. Surprisingly

1124
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:36,520
Speaker 6: made a few thousand dollars.

1125
00:49:36,680 --> 00:49:38,920
Speaker 3: Are we sure he's a clown? I mean.

1126
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:43,480
Speaker 8: From twelve parties? Yeah, no, that's totally normal.

1127
00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:46,600
Speaker 11: Like, let's say he's making less than one hundred a day, Yeah,

1128
00:49:46,600 --> 00:49:48,000
Speaker 11: like one hundred for each party.

1129
00:49:48,040 --> 00:49:50,000
Speaker 7: I need to know what he was doing as a clown,

1130
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:53,040
Speaker 7: because I did like a very specific thing as a clown,

1131
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 7: Like what was there only so many things you can

1132
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:55,120
Speaker 7: get to a client.

1133
00:49:55,239 --> 00:49:56,720
Speaker 8: This man is a still walker.

1134
00:49:56,840 --> 00:49:57,000
Speaker 6: Two.

1135
00:49:57,880 --> 00:49:59,680
Speaker 8: I'm gonna have some choice.

1136
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:00,800
Speaker 10: You buddy.

1137
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:03,800
Speaker 6: That I had put towards some of the fun things

1138
00:50:03,840 --> 00:50:07,239
Speaker 6: I own game systems, electric skateboard, et cetera. But I

1139
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:10,600
Speaker 6: stopped when that terrifying clown hoax of twenty sixteen was

1140
00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:13,120
Speaker 6: happening and heard that people were getting ready to gang

1141
00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:15,200
Speaker 6: up and beat up clowns. So I thought it was

1142
00:50:15,239 --> 00:50:17,400
Speaker 6: best to cash out and hang up the clown costume,

1143
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:20,040
Speaker 6: so to speak. Also because I know it'll be asked

1144
00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:23,360
Speaker 6: back in Uni. I was an athlete as well, kind of.

1145
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:26,000
Speaker 6: I was part of a martial arts club where we

1146
00:50:26,040 --> 00:50:29,640
Speaker 6: would perform martial arts choreography at certain school events. It

1147
00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:33,040
Speaker 6: was kind of like color Guard, but with the old

1148
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:35,960
Speaker 6: one tooing. When I told fiance this during our first

1149
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:38,640
Speaker 6: few months of dating, she made fun of me relentlessly

1150
00:50:38,719 --> 00:50:41,720
Speaker 6: for days, but she ultimately thought it was kind of cool.

1151
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:42,280
Speaker 3: Anyway.

1152
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:45,280
Speaker 6: I put that athleticism in my act where I'd break

1153
00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:46,720
Speaker 6: boards and do some parkour.

1154
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:47,879
Speaker 8: Okay, I'd also do.

1155
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:50,759
Speaker 6: Some clown stuff like smack myself in the face with

1156
00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:53,120
Speaker 6: book cream and a dollar store of pie crust and

1157
00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:55,440
Speaker 6: talk in a stupid voice and trip. It was fun

1158
00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:58,160
Speaker 6: because I was making little kids laugh and impressing them

1159
00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:01,960
Speaker 6: more than I was scaring Them's nothing embarrassing about this.

1160
00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:03,319
Speaker 3: That's like wholesome.

1161
00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:06,680
Speaker 10: You're honest, be like, oh you m'd be like, that's

1162
00:51:06,719 --> 00:51:07,960
Speaker 10: so cool, so.

1163
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:09,000
Speaker 3: Can you do it?

1164
00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:11,920
Speaker 6: Sometimes i'd get a parent involved and have them steal

1165
00:51:11,960 --> 00:51:14,400
Speaker 6: my clown nose and run away, and I'd trip and

1166
00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:17,200
Speaker 6: fall chasing them at first, which would set up the

1167
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:19,920
Speaker 6: parkour chase scene of my act after I put some

1168
00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:21,120
Speaker 6: distance between us.

1169
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:22,320
Speaker 8: By the way, it's.

1170
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:25,680
Speaker 6: Hard to convince big dads that yes, I will absolutely

1171
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:28,000
Speaker 6: catch up to you and it will be much faster

1172
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:30,480
Speaker 6: than you think. The kids love the act, and I

1173
00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:33,960
Speaker 6: learned I would generally get paid more if I involved

1174
00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:36,440
Speaker 6: the family with plenty of warning beforehand of.

1175
00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:39,759
Speaker 8: What I was capable of. I never ever advertised to this.

1176
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:42,319
Speaker 10: You should have. You should have. You would have made

1177
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:43,680
Speaker 10: so much more money.

1178
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:45,360
Speaker 8: You could be doing this full timely.

1179
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:48,080
Speaker 6: Yeah, this was just word of mouth, and I think

1180
00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:50,480
Speaker 6: all of my clients knew each other in some way

1181
00:51:50,520 --> 00:51:53,040
Speaker 6: and knew me as basically a friend of a friend.

1182
00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:55,200
Speaker 8: And we have an editor's note.

1183
00:51:55,040 --> 00:51:58,440
Speaker 6: Oh that includes some info on the clown sighting slash

1184
00:51:58,440 --> 00:52:02,000
Speaker 6: panic of twenty sixteen. We have some relevant comments HDTV

1185
00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:04,839
Speaker 6: one two three. Dude, why are you acting like being

1186
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:08,200
Speaker 6: a clown is on par with serial unlivings as a

1187
00:52:08,239 --> 00:52:11,000
Speaker 6: part time job. I personally would have found that super

1188
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:14,279
Speaker 6: funny and endearing. I think your girl's reaction is really

1189
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:17,520
Speaker 6: weird and uncalled for Cranberry ninety four. I don't think

1190
00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:20,319
Speaker 6: the girl is upset because he was a clown. I

1191
00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:22,879
Speaker 6: think it's more that he wouldn't tell her and let

1192
00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:26,960
Speaker 6: her imagination run wild, probably feeling anxious for days and

1193
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:30,239
Speaker 6: all for something so minor. If my fiance didn't trust

1194
00:52:30,320 --> 00:52:32,600
Speaker 6: me enough that he refused to disclose that he was

1195
00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:36,040
Speaker 6: a clown, I'd find that upsetting. Kujaichi, Yeah, let's be

1196
00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:39,000
Speaker 6: honest with that build up. My first thought totally would

1197
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:42,200
Speaker 6: have been a spicy dancer and or callboy, and frankly,

1198
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:44,319
Speaker 6: I'd also probably been a bit put off by the

1199
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:46,840
Speaker 6: fact that he didn't just say it. But made me

1200
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:50,040
Speaker 6: think who knows what for days and everything. It's just

1201
00:52:50,160 --> 00:52:53,120
Speaker 6: extremely weird. And Ope talks about how he got into

1202
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:55,319
Speaker 6: being a clown. Well, to be fair, I didn't do

1203
00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:57,640
Speaker 6: it because I was hurting for money. It started out

1204
00:52:57,680 --> 00:52:59,879
Speaker 6: as a favor to a friend that ended up snow

1205
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:02,560
Speaker 6: falling into a paying gig that paid for some fun

1206
00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:05,400
Speaker 6: toys and knickknacks and a whole lot of pizzas. I

1207
00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:07,399
Speaker 6: know that it wasn't her intent to make me feel

1208
00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:10,000
Speaker 6: ashamed of it, and I don't hold it against her. Also,

1209
00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:12,759
Speaker 6: the other comments have pointed out she basically might just

1210
00:53:12,840 --> 00:53:15,880
Speaker 6: be getting stir crazy, which we have talked about happening.

1211
00:53:16,040 --> 00:53:18,840
Speaker 6: And it's more that I did it for a short

1212
00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:21,000
Speaker 6: period of time, and it was in a time of

1213
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:24,239
Speaker 6: my life in entrepreneurial twenty one year old where I

1214
00:53:24,280 --> 00:53:26,320
Speaker 6: did a lot of dumb and weird crap. And I

1215
00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:28,920
Speaker 6: attribute my brief stint as a clown as one of

1216
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:31,560
Speaker 6: the weirder ones that is largely unbelievable.

1217
00:53:31,719 --> 00:53:33,960
Speaker 8: Wow, so uh, I wasn't.

1218
00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:35,840
Speaker 6: Expecting this to blow up as much as it did,

1219
00:53:36,120 --> 00:53:38,600
Speaker 6: or like at all. I have spent a lot of

1220
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:41,200
Speaker 6: my workday work from home, reading all the comments and

1221
00:53:41,239 --> 00:53:43,959
Speaker 6: replies and tweets. Beyonce and I sat down and talked

1222
00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:46,360
Speaker 6: about it. I told her about this post because I

1223
00:53:46,440 --> 00:53:49,400
Speaker 6: was genuinely concerned about what I should do in this situation,

1224
00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:52,560
Speaker 6: and I have a bad habit of making jokes about

1225
00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:54,040
Speaker 6: bad situation sometimes.

1226
00:53:54,080 --> 00:53:55,480
Speaker 8: But we had a civil discussion.

1227
00:53:55,719 --> 00:53:58,120
Speaker 6: She told me that the reason she was acting distant

1228
00:53:58,320 --> 00:54:00,400
Speaker 6: was because, like some of you said, he thought I

1229
00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:02,600
Speaker 6: was lying about the clown thing, because.

1230
00:54:02,320 --> 00:54:04,680
Speaker 11: Why would she like you literally wouldn't tell her for

1231
00:54:04,719 --> 00:54:07,040
Speaker 11: so long. She's like, he must be lying because there's

1232
00:54:07,040 --> 00:54:08,560
Speaker 11: no reason he would keep that a secret.

1233
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:10,799
Speaker 6: The reason I was embarrassed about it is because I

1234
00:54:10,880 --> 00:54:13,640
Speaker 6: didn't fully commit to it. No matter how it is phrased,

1235
00:54:13,840 --> 00:54:16,320
Speaker 6: telling someone you are a party clown for three months

1236
00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:19,120
Speaker 6: either gets met with wow, that's cool or holy crap,

1237
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:21,400
Speaker 6: what a lie, And she, like so many of you,

1238
00:54:21,520 --> 00:54:22,280
Speaker 6: went with the latter.

1239
00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:23,880
Speaker 8: So we talked about it like adult.

1240
00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:26,440
Speaker 6: I calmly explained that I was not lying, and that

1241
00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:29,880
Speaker 6: the story is stupid and inconsequential, but the circumstance in

1242
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:33,520
Speaker 6: general of being a clown from start to finish is unbelievable.

1243
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:35,520
Speaker 6: In a way, I got the idea of being a

1244
00:54:35,520 --> 00:54:38,479
Speaker 6: clown at a costume party. When a former friend told

1245
00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:41,120
Speaker 6: a wasted me he thought my costume was fun and

1246
00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:43,720
Speaker 6: that I should be a clown for his nephew's birthday party.

1247
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:46,759
Speaker 6: I thought he was joking until he actually contacted me

1248
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:49,000
Speaker 6: about it the next Saturday and said he'd pay me

1249
00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:51,120
Speaker 6: one hundred to two hundred for the whole day.

1250
00:54:51,239 --> 00:54:52,240
Speaker 8: Being twenty one.

1251
00:54:52,239 --> 00:54:55,480
Speaker 6: That's a lot of scratch for being an idiot for

1252
00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:57,560
Speaker 6: a bit. So I did it, and then it just

1253
00:54:57,640 --> 00:54:59,799
Speaker 6: turned into a thing. I told her I stopped being

1254
00:54:59,840 --> 00:55:01,960
Speaker 6: a because I didn't want it to get out that

1255
00:55:02,040 --> 00:55:04,640
Speaker 6: I was one so publicly. And it was around the

1256
00:55:04,640 --> 00:55:07,040
Speaker 6: time I kept seeing posts on Twitter and Tumblr about

1257
00:55:07,080 --> 00:55:09,840
Speaker 6: people getting together to go hunt clowns, and I felt

1258
00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:11,880
Speaker 6: that even if it was fake, the chance of it

1259
00:55:11,960 --> 00:55:14,399
Speaker 6: being real and it happening to me was not really

1260
00:55:14,440 --> 00:55:16,600
Speaker 6: one I wanted to take. It was fun for a bit.

1261
00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:19,080
Speaker 6: If I had been a clown for like half a year,

1262
00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:21,399
Speaker 6: I'd probably tell more people about it, But doing it

1263
00:55:21,440 --> 00:55:23,759
Speaker 6: for a short period of time comes off as kind

1264
00:55:23,800 --> 00:55:26,640
Speaker 6: of a lie. If you need proof, literally read half

1265
00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:29,560
Speaker 6: the comments on this post. My fiance is not crazy

1266
00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:32,960
Speaker 6: and high maintenance. She's normal, a little wild sometimes and

1267
00:55:33,040 --> 00:55:35,080
Speaker 6: kind of cooped up here, but I love her all

1268
00:55:35,080 --> 00:55:38,520
Speaker 6: the same anyway. She believes me, which I'm grateful for.

1269
00:55:38,719 --> 00:55:41,920
Speaker 6: I apologize for not telling her sooner, and she apologized

1270
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:45,920
Speaker 6: for pressing me to talk about something so clearly weirdly polarizing.

1271
00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:48,560
Speaker 6: Like really, this wasn't so much a post asking you

1272
00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:51,040
Speaker 6: all to take sides in the matter, like you are

1273
00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:54,320
Speaker 6: all so seemingly ready to do, but more like asking

1274
00:55:54,360 --> 00:55:57,200
Speaker 6: advice on what I should do to try and bridge

1275
00:55:57,200 --> 00:55:59,959
Speaker 6: the gap in communication. She still seems to have some ress,

1276
00:56:00,719 --> 00:56:02,840
Speaker 6: so I promised her that I would try and do

1277
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:05,640
Speaker 6: my act for her in the park when the quarantine

1278
00:56:05,719 --> 00:56:09,920
Speaker 6: is lifted. Yeah to hear, she asked me to do

1279
00:56:09,960 --> 00:56:11,800
Speaker 6: it for her now, but I told her our apartment

1280
00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:14,160
Speaker 6: is too small and filled with things that might break.

1281
00:56:14,200 --> 00:56:16,200
Speaker 6: I talked to her in my clown voice, and she

1282
00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:19,280
Speaker 6: hated it because she said it in her words, sounds

1283
00:56:19,360 --> 00:56:22,480
Speaker 6: like goofy on speed. Thank you everyone, and we have

1284
00:56:22,560 --> 00:56:25,799
Speaker 6: some final comments. I flapped twenty one says, Also, I

1285
00:56:25,880 --> 00:56:27,880
Speaker 6: sense that it was probably more difficult for you to

1286
00:56:27,920 --> 00:56:30,120
Speaker 6: come clean about this since when you told her about

1287
00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:32,839
Speaker 6: the martial arts thing. Her first reaction was to mock

1288
00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:36,200
Speaker 6: and ridicule you for days. I would honestly understand you

1289
00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:38,400
Speaker 6: hesitating to open up that part of your life to

1290
00:56:38,440 --> 00:56:40,520
Speaker 6: someone who is so willing and happy to make you

1291
00:56:40,520 --> 00:56:43,040
Speaker 6: the butt of the joke. And Opie says, thank you,

1292
00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:45,920
Speaker 6: you understand for us, it's water under the bridge. And

1293
00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:49,440
Speaker 6: she has since apologized, and we watched martial arts movies

1294
00:56:49,440 --> 00:56:53,120
Speaker 6: together sometimes at her suggestion, which is also another reason

1295
00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:55,480
Speaker 6: among the list of many I asked her to marry me.

1296
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:57,480
Speaker 8: Whoa quila earworm?

1297
00:56:57,640 --> 00:56:59,640
Speaker 6: Have you brought up to her that the fact that

1298
00:56:59,680 --> 00:57:02,359
Speaker 6: she made fun of you relentlessly for doing martial arts

1299
00:57:02,480 --> 00:57:04,440
Speaker 6: might have played a part in your reluctance to tell

1300
00:57:04,440 --> 00:57:06,200
Speaker 6: her about this part of your life. If you want

1301
00:57:06,200 --> 00:57:08,400
Speaker 6: to be trusted with information, you have to act in

1302
00:57:08,440 --> 00:57:12,200
Speaker 6: a trustworthy manner. Opi says, this comment was actually really insightful,

1303
00:57:12,280 --> 00:57:14,080
Speaker 6: and she read the comment and brought it up in

1304
00:57:14,120 --> 00:57:14,920
Speaker 6: our conversation.

1305
00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:17,160
Speaker 8: Thank you for your input, truly.

1306
00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:18,240
Speaker 3: John here og host.

1307
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:19,800
Speaker 2: We're going to get back to these stories, but a

1308
00:57:19,840 --> 00:57:21,760
Speaker 2: quick three minute break from as from our sponsors.

1309
00:57:22,440 --> 00:57:25,520
Speaker 11: I chose my cat over my boyfriend, and I don't

1310
00:57:25,560 --> 00:57:26,200
Speaker 11: regret a thing.

1311
00:57:26,360 --> 00:57:28,440
Speaker 8: Your cat's probably cooler and this.

1312
00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:31,120
Speaker 11: Comes directly from the Okay Storytime subpreated. It also trigger

1313
00:57:31,160 --> 00:57:34,800
Speaker 11: warning for verbal and emotional I thirty female, left my

1314
00:57:34,920 --> 00:57:38,080
Speaker 11: ex thirty one male we'll call him Leo, almost two

1315
00:57:38,320 --> 00:57:38,840
Speaker 11: years ago.

1316
00:57:38,880 --> 00:57:39,040
Speaker 6: Now.

1317
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:40,880
Speaker 11: The only thing I really regret the most is not

1318
00:57:41,120 --> 00:57:43,440
Speaker 11: doing it sooner. We had met when I was seventeen

1319
00:57:43,520 --> 00:57:46,440
Speaker 11: through my at the time boyfriend. They were coworkers that

1320
00:57:46,520 --> 00:57:49,000
Speaker 11: became friends to some degree. When me and that guy

1321
00:57:49,040 --> 00:57:51,400
Speaker 11: broke up, Leo was there for me. By the way,

1322
00:57:51,440 --> 00:57:53,920
Speaker 11: this comes from far Priority eighty four to seventy two,

1323
00:57:54,080 --> 00:57:55,520
Speaker 11: and if you want to spit your own stories, go

1324
00:57:55,520 --> 00:57:58,000
Speaker 11: to the r slash Okay Storytime suparate it. Eventually we

1325
00:57:58,080 --> 00:58:00,960
Speaker 11: started dating back in twenty fourteen and things were good

1326
00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:03,439
Speaker 11: for a few months. I should have ended the relationship then,

1327
00:58:03,640 --> 00:58:05,680
Speaker 11: and if I had a time machine, I wouldn't have

1328
00:58:05,840 --> 00:58:08,320
Speaker 11: even gotten with him in the first place. But I

1329
00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:11,120
Speaker 11: was young, dumb, and the heart wanted what it wanted,

1330
00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:13,640
Speaker 11: and I guess I felt like I deserved what happened

1331
00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:16,560
Speaker 11: to some degree at the time. But hindside is twenty twenty,

1332
00:58:16,600 --> 00:58:20,160
Speaker 11: so they say I caught him spicy texting with another female,

1333
00:58:20,200 --> 00:58:23,280
Speaker 11: confronted him, and his excuse was. He did it because

1334
00:58:23,280 --> 00:58:25,640
Speaker 11: he felt like I had cheated on him when I

1335
00:58:25,720 --> 00:58:27,840
Speaker 11: went to stay with my best friend we'll call her

1336
00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:30,640
Speaker 11: Kayla and her mom for a week, even though we

1337
00:58:30,640 --> 00:58:32,560
Speaker 11: were going to come get him that weekend so we

1338
00:58:32,600 --> 00:58:35,160
Speaker 11: could still spend the weekend together because he worked during

1339
00:58:35,160 --> 00:58:36,840
Speaker 11: the week and Kayla lived out of town.

1340
00:58:36,640 --> 00:58:37,320
Speaker 10: During that week.

1341
00:58:37,360 --> 00:58:40,560
Speaker 11: He threw a witchfit, calling me, yelling at me, in

1342
00:58:40,600 --> 00:58:42,640
Speaker 11: which Kayla took the phone from me and hung up

1343
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:44,880
Speaker 11: on him, so we didn't go get him that weekend.

1344
00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:47,200
Speaker 11: Me and her had a blast hanging out, and I

1345
00:58:47,280 --> 00:58:48,280
Speaker 11: returned home.

1346
00:58:48,120 --> 00:58:48,680
Speaker 10: The next week.

1347
00:58:48,720 --> 00:58:50,520
Speaker 11: I told him I didn't cheat on him because I

1348
00:58:50,520 --> 00:58:53,760
Speaker 11: honestly hadn't and wouldn't, and he apologized, told me how

1349
00:58:53,800 --> 00:58:56,280
Speaker 11: sorry he was and that he wouldn't ever do it again.

1350
00:58:56,600 --> 00:58:57,760
Speaker 10: But that was a lie.

1351
00:58:57,920 --> 00:59:00,520
Speaker 11: The relationship was on again, off again, and a lot.

1352
00:59:00,840 --> 00:59:03,000
Speaker 11: He'd tell me some of his friends didn't like me,

1353
00:59:03,280 --> 00:59:04,840
Speaker 11: that his parents didn't like me.

1354
00:59:05,200 --> 00:59:06,480
Speaker 10: Yes, I had met his family.

1355
00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:08,720
Speaker 11: His parents didn't speak English, so there was a bit

1356
00:59:08,760 --> 00:59:11,160
Speaker 11: of a language barrier for me communicating with them, but

1357
00:59:11,200 --> 00:59:14,520
Speaker 11: his siblings all spoke English and their parents' native language,

1358
00:59:14,600 --> 00:59:17,040
Speaker 11: so they helped me when I needed to communicate with them,

1359
00:59:17,080 --> 00:59:19,240
Speaker 11: although I never really did find out if they did

1360
00:59:19,440 --> 00:59:21,600
Speaker 11: or didn't like me or how they felt about me

1361
00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:25,200
Speaker 11: except from through their actions. And honestly, he didn't like

1362
00:59:25,280 --> 00:59:27,439
Speaker 11: most of my friends and they didn't like him either.

1363
00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:29,960
Speaker 11: I was friends with his friends and guys, but as

1364
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:31,960
Speaker 11: it turns out, most of the guys I was friends

1365
00:59:31,960 --> 00:59:34,200
Speaker 11: with had crushes on me at one point or another.

1366
00:59:34,240 --> 00:59:36,760
Speaker 11: But I was in a relationship, albeit on and off again,

1367
00:59:36,800 --> 00:59:39,400
Speaker 11: with Leo, so those never went anywhere. And the few

1368
00:59:39,400 --> 00:59:41,560
Speaker 11: friends I had that were girls that I really stayed

1369
00:59:41,560 --> 00:59:43,919
Speaker 11: in contact with after high school didn't like the way

1370
00:59:43,960 --> 00:59:46,320
Speaker 11: he treated me. He would try to be controlling over

1371
00:59:46,360 --> 00:59:48,280
Speaker 11: who I hung out with, so I hardly got to

1372
00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:50,480
Speaker 11: see my friends that were girls, and I didn't really

1373
00:59:50,480 --> 00:59:52,760
Speaker 11: hang out with guys unless it was his friends, and

1374
00:59:52,800 --> 00:59:54,840
Speaker 11: that was only when I was with him, and even

1375
00:59:54,880 --> 00:59:56,920
Speaker 11: then I wouldn't do it all the time, which that

1376
00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:59,160
Speaker 11: part I was fine with anyways. But I was definitely

1377
00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:01,280
Speaker 11: not going to stop hanging out with my friends that

1378
01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:04,000
Speaker 11: were girls just because he didn't like them. Good on euop,

1379
01:00:04,240 --> 01:00:06,680
Speaker 11: because obviously this is not a healthy relationship.

1380
01:00:06,680 --> 01:00:08,680
Speaker 10: But it's good that you're not letting him, you know,

1381
01:00:08,760 --> 01:00:11,160
Speaker 10: isolate you completely. Twenty sixteen rolls.

1382
01:00:10,920 --> 01:00:13,440
Speaker 11: Around and his family decides they are going to be

1383
01:00:13,520 --> 01:00:15,640
Speaker 11: out of state. The day after or of I don't

1384
01:00:15,640 --> 01:00:18,640
Speaker 11: really remember, we found out they were moving, so I

1385
01:00:18,680 --> 01:00:21,000
Speaker 11: went with him back to his parents' place because him

1386
01:00:21,040 --> 01:00:22,960
Speaker 11: and his whole family would be moving, to spend the

1387
01:00:23,040 --> 01:00:25,680
Speaker 11: last few days with him and help him pack his stuff. Well,

1388
01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:27,800
Speaker 11: a night or two before the day they were moving,

1389
01:00:27,960 --> 01:00:30,840
Speaker 11: he got wasted, got upset with me while we were talking,

1390
01:00:30,920 --> 01:00:34,200
Speaker 11: and things got messy. Right after that happened, he realized

1391
01:00:34,240 --> 01:00:36,880
Speaker 11: that he lefft up. He started apologizing, and he knew

1392
01:00:36,960 --> 01:00:39,120
Speaker 11: he was in the wrong one hundred percent. For some

1393
01:00:39,200 --> 01:00:42,560
Speaker 11: odd stupid reason, I forgave him. We sat our goodbyes

1394
01:00:42,560 --> 01:00:44,760
Speaker 11: to each other, but we agreed to still talk to

1395
01:00:44,760 --> 01:00:47,240
Speaker 11: see about working things out and trying to do a

1396
01:00:47,280 --> 01:00:50,800
Speaker 11: long distance relationship. It wasn't easy for either of us.

1397
01:00:50,960 --> 01:00:53,800
Speaker 11: It was on again and off again. Because of that, now.

1398
01:00:53,800 --> 01:00:55,720
Speaker 8: You gotta be on off again.

1399
01:00:55,760 --> 01:00:59,720
Speaker 11: You gotta be so strong to go into a long

1400
01:00:59,720 --> 01:01:04,880
Speaker 11: distain relationship. You gotta be so tight because it's hard.

1401
01:01:05,120 --> 01:01:09,120
Speaker 11: Everyone I'd known who's done it, it's hard and takes

1402
01:01:09,120 --> 01:01:10,760
Speaker 11: a lot of work. And if you guys are already

1403
01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:13,120
Speaker 11: on and off again, and he's already really you know,

1404
01:01:13,240 --> 01:01:15,400
Speaker 11: cheat on you. At that point, it's like, okay, we

1405
01:01:15,440 --> 01:01:16,080
Speaker 11: got to call it.

1406
01:01:16,200 --> 01:01:17,240
Speaker 8: After a couple more.

1407
01:01:17,160 --> 01:01:19,160
Speaker 11: Years, he moved back to be with me because of

1408
01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:21,440
Speaker 11: not being able to handle the long distance thing. We

1409
01:01:21,480 --> 01:01:23,240
Speaker 11: live with my mom for a bit, and then my

1410
01:01:23,320 --> 01:01:25,600
Speaker 11: mom moved. My oldest brother got the house and was

1411
01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:27,560
Speaker 11: fixing it up while he and his family lived in

1412
01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:29,960
Speaker 11: another place, so he let me and Leo rent the

1413
01:01:30,000 --> 01:01:31,880
Speaker 11: house from him while he fixed it up. It was

1414
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:34,240
Speaker 11: our first time living on our own together, and things

1415
01:01:34,280 --> 01:01:36,560
Speaker 11: were good for a while. I was doing everything we

1416
01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:39,040
Speaker 11: could to save up to eventually get our own place

1417
01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:41,160
Speaker 11: for when my brother was done fixing the house up

1418
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:43,480
Speaker 11: and they could move in. We'd move out at that time,

1419
01:01:43,600 --> 01:01:46,600
Speaker 11: until things took a hard turn. We had gotten into

1420
01:01:46,640 --> 01:01:50,120
Speaker 11: a literally tiny argument when we went to go do laundry,

1421
01:01:50,160 --> 01:01:52,240
Speaker 11: and I thought we had fixed that issue because I

1422
01:01:52,280 --> 01:01:55,200
Speaker 11: had apologized. Turns out I was wrong because he held

1423
01:01:55,240 --> 01:01:57,960
Speaker 11: on to that anger he had from the argument, which

1424
01:01:58,000 --> 01:02:00,880
Speaker 11: is not your fault because he's holding a grudge and

1425
01:02:00,920 --> 01:02:03,280
Speaker 11: not talking to you about him. After we were back home,

1426
01:02:03,360 --> 01:02:05,160
Speaker 11: he got on his game with some of his friends

1427
01:02:05,160 --> 01:02:07,360
Speaker 11: and started drinking. They were having a good time at

1428
01:02:07,360 --> 01:02:10,680
Speaker 11: first until he kept drinking where he got blackout wasted.

1429
01:02:10,880 --> 01:02:14,320
Speaker 11: Then his anger switch whipped took it out on his friends,

1430
01:02:14,400 --> 01:02:16,200
Speaker 11: and when I got back in the room, I tried

1431
01:02:16,240 --> 01:02:19,600
Speaker 11: calming him down until he started talking crap about my family,

1432
01:02:19,640 --> 01:02:22,200
Speaker 11: which I knew he didn't mean. So he started talking

1433
01:02:22,240 --> 01:02:25,479
Speaker 11: crap about me and it got messy again. Neighbors saw

1434
01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:28,800
Speaker 11: through the window and thankfully called the cops. At that time,

1435
01:02:28,840 --> 01:02:31,120
Speaker 11: I was pissed because the cops broke the front door,

1436
01:02:31,240 --> 01:02:32,960
Speaker 11: but at the time they showed up, I had calmed

1437
01:02:33,040 --> 01:02:35,760
Speaker 11: him down and he was finally starting to come out

1438
01:02:35,800 --> 01:02:37,200
Speaker 11: from being blackout wasted.

1439
01:02:37,320 --> 01:02:39,480
Speaker 10: I packed some stuff and went to stay with Kayla.

1440
01:02:39,640 --> 01:02:42,040
Speaker 11: Leo spent some time in the wasted tank and eventually

1441
01:02:42,080 --> 01:02:43,360
Speaker 11: got out, so he got arrested.

1442
01:02:43,480 --> 01:02:44,840
Speaker 8: Dang, yeah, break up.

1443
01:02:45,040 --> 01:02:45,720
Speaker 10: Break up.

1444
01:02:45,880 --> 01:02:48,320
Speaker 11: If your partner's getting arrested based off an argument that

1445
01:02:48,360 --> 01:02:50,040
Speaker 11: your neighbors overheard.

1446
01:02:49,760 --> 01:02:50,920
Speaker 10: Absolutely break up.

1447
01:02:50,960 --> 01:02:52,960
Speaker 11: My brother told me we had to move out, so

1448
01:02:53,040 --> 01:02:55,200
Speaker 11: I decided to move in with Kayla and her mom.

1449
01:02:55,360 --> 01:02:57,560
Speaker 11: Leo went to stay with one of his friends. Don't

1450
01:02:57,600 --> 01:02:59,720
Speaker 11: ask me why, but I helped get him out of

1451
01:02:59,760 --> 01:03:01,920
Speaker 11: try with the law for what he had done. I

1452
01:03:01,960 --> 01:03:03,960
Speaker 11: still loved him at the time and didn't believe that

1453
01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:05,880
Speaker 11: what he did was really hisself.

1454
01:03:05,920 --> 01:03:08,160
Speaker 10: At the time, he was wasted af again.

1455
01:03:08,240 --> 01:03:10,520
Speaker 11: Me and Leo still talked and saw each other when

1456
01:03:10,560 --> 01:03:12,920
Speaker 11: we could and worked on things yet again. Then he

1457
01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:15,360
Speaker 11: decided he wanted to move back in with his parents,

1458
01:03:15,400 --> 01:03:18,400
Speaker 11: and he wanted me to come to don't don't don't,

1459
01:03:18,440 --> 01:03:20,200
Speaker 11: at least that's what he told me at the time.

1460
01:03:20,400 --> 01:03:22,439
Speaker 11: Later he would claim he should have left me back

1461
01:03:22,440 --> 01:03:24,400
Speaker 11: in my home state. So I moved with him to

1462
01:03:24,440 --> 01:03:27,280
Speaker 11: a different state, away from all my family and friends,

1463
01:03:27,520 --> 01:03:31,120
Speaker 11: and here comes the isolation. My only friends were his

1464
01:03:31,200 --> 01:03:34,120
Speaker 11: sisters and my cat Garfield, who I had raised since

1465
01:03:34,120 --> 01:03:36,960
Speaker 11: he was a baby, and he's also my emotional support,

1466
01:03:37,040 --> 01:03:39,800
Speaker 11: as he's been with me through almost everything. Things didn't

1467
01:03:39,840 --> 01:03:42,240
Speaker 11: exactly get better when we moved in with his family.

1468
01:03:42,280 --> 01:03:45,840
Speaker 11: Found out he was cheating on me again shocker. He

1469
01:03:45,840 --> 01:03:48,560
Speaker 11: would drink more and his parents didn't like that he drank,

1470
01:03:48,640 --> 01:03:50,840
Speaker 11: so he'd hide it from them, but still acted out

1471
01:03:50,880 --> 01:03:52,919
Speaker 11: in a way that they knew he was drinking. Now,

1472
01:03:53,000 --> 01:03:55,479
Speaker 11: I have health issues that I've had since I was young,

1473
01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:58,400
Speaker 11: and Leo knew this. He didn't like the fact, but

1474
01:03:58,480 --> 01:04:00,960
Speaker 11: he helped me with them in most cases until he didn't.

1475
01:04:01,080 --> 01:04:04,040
Speaker 11: He'd start throwing a fit because of them, especially if

1476
01:04:04,080 --> 01:04:05,760
Speaker 11: I had to go to the hospital because of the

1477
01:04:05,760 --> 01:04:08,160
Speaker 11: health issues. He would take me to my doctor's and

1478
01:04:08,240 --> 01:04:11,160
Speaker 11: to get my meds until he stopped doing that too.

1479
01:04:11,240 --> 01:04:13,400
Speaker 11: I would tell him when I had appointments and he'd

1480
01:04:13,400 --> 01:04:15,200
Speaker 11: get that day off to be able to take me.

1481
01:04:15,400 --> 01:04:18,040
Speaker 11: Then the night before stay up late drinking and still

1482
01:04:18,080 --> 01:04:20,600
Speaker 11: be up drinking when it came time to go, so

1483
01:04:20,880 --> 01:04:22,840
Speaker 11: I'd have to waste money to get a number or

1484
01:04:22,920 --> 01:04:24,800
Speaker 11: lyft to and from my appointments.

1485
01:04:24,880 --> 01:04:26,160
Speaker 10: Sometimes he'd pay.

1486
01:04:25,960 --> 01:04:28,000
Speaker 11: For it, but still it was a waste of money

1487
01:04:28,040 --> 01:04:30,560
Speaker 11: when he knew in advance about the appointments and had

1488
01:04:30,600 --> 01:04:32,800
Speaker 11: the gas in his car. I couldn't drive at the time,

1489
01:04:32,880 --> 01:04:35,080
Speaker 11: as I was trying to get my license, but now

1490
01:04:35,120 --> 01:04:37,920
Speaker 11: I can't drive because of more health problems. I eventually

1491
01:04:37,960 --> 01:04:40,600
Speaker 11: told him I was thinking about leaving and moving back

1492
01:04:40,640 --> 01:04:43,320
Speaker 11: to my home state. Promised he would start treating me better,

1493
01:04:43,400 --> 01:04:45,600
Speaker 11: so I decided to stay and give it one last

1494
01:04:45,600 --> 01:04:47,400
Speaker 11: shot with him. No, he did treat me better for

1495
01:04:47,440 --> 01:04:49,439
Speaker 11: a bit, but after a few months it was back

1496
01:04:49,480 --> 01:04:51,880
Speaker 11: to the same things, and I started falling out of

1497
01:04:51,920 --> 01:04:53,920
Speaker 11: love with him. But everything came to a head when

1498
01:04:53,960 --> 01:04:55,800
Speaker 11: his parents said we had to get rid of all

1499
01:04:55,840 --> 01:04:58,040
Speaker 11: the cats, or that we would have to start paying

1500
01:04:58,080 --> 01:04:59,640
Speaker 11: a pet deposit to the landlord.

1501
01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:02,760
Speaker 10: I only had Garfield. They had so many more cats.

1502
01:05:02,920 --> 01:05:04,800
Speaker 11: I talked with his sisters and him to try and

1503
01:05:04,840 --> 01:05:06,840
Speaker 11: get them to translate for me to his parents that

1504
01:05:06,920 --> 01:05:09,280
Speaker 11: I would pay the deposit for Garfield and a few

1505
01:05:09,320 --> 01:05:11,640
Speaker 11: of their cats, along with getting the cat food and

1506
01:05:11,760 --> 01:05:14,120
Speaker 11: litter for them if I could keep Garfield.

1507
01:05:14,200 --> 01:05:16,560
Speaker 10: But none of them would do it, not even Leo.

1508
01:05:16,760 --> 01:05:18,600
Speaker 11: So I got hold of my mom and Kayla and

1509
01:05:18,680 --> 01:05:21,200
Speaker 11: started making plans to get the heck out of there

1510
01:05:21,280 --> 01:05:24,880
Speaker 11: with Garfield asap. I thought I would have until after

1511
01:05:24,960 --> 01:05:27,440
Speaker 11: Halloween to get everything ready, but plans had to get

1512
01:05:27,440 --> 01:05:29,720
Speaker 11: moved up as Kayla had gotten three days off in

1513
01:05:29,720 --> 01:05:31,960
Speaker 11: a row without having to request it, so they came

1514
01:05:32,040 --> 01:05:34,960
Speaker 11: and got me asap, which makes sense because Kayla was

1515
01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:37,200
Speaker 11: one of the friends who was like, uh, yeah, this

1516
01:05:37,320 --> 01:05:37,880
Speaker 11: is not good.

1517
01:05:38,080 --> 01:05:39,720
Speaker 8: The second that friend got that yeah, she was like

1518
01:05:39,760 --> 01:05:40,200
Speaker 8: I'm coming.

1519
01:05:40,280 --> 01:05:41,560
Speaker 3: She's like, I'll get that tough.

1520
01:05:41,600 --> 01:05:43,520
Speaker 11: She probably didn't even get yeah she probably didn't even

1521
01:05:43,560 --> 01:05:45,480
Speaker 11: like I could totally even probably request I need these

1522
01:05:45,520 --> 01:05:48,480
Speaker 11: days like I'm leaving gone. The night before I left,

1523
01:05:48,640 --> 01:05:50,560
Speaker 11: I told him I would be leaving the next day.

1524
01:05:50,720 --> 01:05:53,720
Speaker 11: He claims I chose a cat over him, and dang right,

1525
01:05:53,840 --> 01:05:57,080
Speaker 11: I did, and I'll do it again every time. Garfield

1526
01:05:57,120 --> 01:05:58,760
Speaker 11: is my baby and I was not going to give

1527
01:05:58,800 --> 01:05:59,080
Speaker 11: him up.

1528
01:05:59,120 --> 01:05:59,600
Speaker 10: If I had to.

1529
01:05:59,560 --> 01:06:02,880
Speaker 11: Stay there without Garfield, I would have gone insane. So yes,

1530
01:06:03,040 --> 01:06:05,960
Speaker 11: I chose my cat and my health over that pos

1531
01:06:06,120 --> 01:06:07,880
Speaker 11: I Now I'm living with my mom again while I

1532
01:06:07,960 --> 01:06:10,560
Speaker 11: work on getting my health both mental and physical better.

1533
01:06:10,640 --> 01:06:14,200
Speaker 11: I'm going to therapy for my depression, anxiety and PTSD,

1534
01:06:14,320 --> 01:06:17,400
Speaker 11: which he is the reason for the PTSD. Oh, I'm

1535
01:06:17,400 --> 01:06:20,200
Speaker 11: taking time out from dating still because of everything, and

1536
01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:21,560
Speaker 11: just trying to live a happy life.

1537
01:06:21,640 --> 01:06:24,480
Speaker 10: I have my family, friends, and Garfield.

1538
01:06:23,960 --> 01:06:26,120
Speaker 11: And that's honestly all I need right now to get

1539
01:06:26,120 --> 01:06:28,680
Speaker 11: through this, thankfully. Side note turns out they ended up

1540
01:06:28,720 --> 01:06:31,040
Speaker 11: keeping all the cats they had and even ended up

1541
01:06:31,040 --> 01:06:32,959
Speaker 11: with more cats as well. Than He tried to guilt

1542
01:06:32,960 --> 01:06:36,200
Speaker 11: trip me for him doing substances, even sent me a

1543
01:06:36,240 --> 01:06:39,280
Speaker 11: pick of the supposed raw and I cut all contact

1544
01:06:39,280 --> 01:06:41,320
Speaker 11: with him right then and there. I was done being

1545
01:06:41,320 --> 01:06:43,760
Speaker 11: manipulated by him and no longer had to put up

1546
01:06:43,760 --> 01:06:45,920
Speaker 11: with any of us BS, so I blocked him on

1547
01:06:45,960 --> 01:06:48,400
Speaker 11: everything I do. However, still talk to his younger sister,

1548
01:06:48,560 --> 01:06:51,040
Speaker 11: whom I still consider my friend because she never did

1549
01:06:51,200 --> 01:06:53,640
Speaker 11: me wrong, unlike him or anyone else in their family.

1550
01:06:53,720 --> 01:06:55,600
Speaker 11: She actually helped me when I needed to get away

1551
01:06:55,600 --> 01:06:57,880
Speaker 11: from him and was there for me through a lot

1552
01:06:57,920 --> 01:06:59,400
Speaker 11: of his BS and abuse at it.

1553
01:06:59,560 --> 01:07:01,440
Speaker 10: It's not that I don't want to date. It's that

1554
01:07:01,520 --> 01:07:02,160
Speaker 10: every time I.

1555
01:07:02,160 --> 01:07:05,160
Speaker 11: Even think of trying to start dating again, the PTSD

1556
01:07:05,240 --> 01:07:07,360
Speaker 11: and anxiety get worse. I start to feel like I

1557
01:07:07,400 --> 01:07:10,200
Speaker 11: deserve everything that happened in that relationship, and I know

1558
01:07:10,240 --> 01:07:12,680
Speaker 11: I probably didn't, but the thoughts start and won't stop.

1559
01:07:12,720 --> 01:07:15,040
Speaker 11: I'm still glad I got out of that relationship somewhat

1560
01:07:15,080 --> 01:07:17,400
Speaker 11: safely as soon as I could, while getting my cat

1561
01:07:17,440 --> 01:07:19,280
Speaker 11: out with me, but lately I feel broken.

1562
01:07:19,400 --> 01:07:20,840
Speaker 10: Any advice would be appreciated.

1563
01:07:21,680 --> 01:07:24,160
Speaker 8: Therapy, Yeah, it's.

1564
01:07:23,960 --> 01:07:24,680
Speaker 10: Going to take a minute.

1565
01:07:24,720 --> 01:07:24,960
Speaker 6: It's not.

1566
01:07:25,120 --> 01:07:26,360
Speaker 10: It's not an easy process.

1567
01:07:26,520 --> 01:07:29,040
Speaker 11: Don't rush yourself to do something that you're not ready

1568
01:07:29,080 --> 01:07:31,560
Speaker 11: for just because you think other people. You know you're

1569
01:07:31,600 --> 01:07:33,000
Speaker 11: thinking about other people's timelines,