1 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:12,840 Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome back to a new episode of 2 00:00:13,039 --> 00:00:16,600 Speaker 1: Couch Talks on You Need Therapy Podcast. My name is Kat, 3 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:20,000 Speaker 1: I'm the host, and if you are unfamiliar with couch Talks, 4 00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:22,599 Speaker 1: it is the special bonus episode of You Need Therapy 5 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:25,639 Speaker 1: where I answer questions typically that you guys send to me. 6 00:00:26,239 --> 00:00:29,640 Speaker 1: Where you can send them is Katherine at therapy podcast 7 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:33,040 Speaker 1: dot com. However, today I'm not actually not going to 8 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:35,519 Speaker 1: answer one of those questions, but normally that is what 9 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:37,880 Speaker 1: we do. And before we get into what we are 10 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:41,519 Speaker 1: going to do today, quick reminder that although I am 11 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:44,480 Speaker 1: a therapist, this podcast does not serve as a replacement 12 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:48,320 Speaker 1: or a substitute for any actual mental health services, but 13 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:51,599 Speaker 1: we always hope that it helps on whatever journey you're on. 14 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:55,640 Speaker 1: So if you're wondering, what are we gonna do if 15 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,440 Speaker 1: not gonna answer a question that we send into you, 16 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:03,279 Speaker 1: I've been hot on the Psychology Today articles. Sometimes they 17 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:05,120 Speaker 1: really miss the mark, but sometimes there's just a lot 18 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,360 Speaker 1: of good ones, and I found one that I just 19 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:10,000 Speaker 1: thought was interesting and I thought we could go over 20 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:13,039 Speaker 1: together and might actually help some of you guys more 21 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:16,520 Speaker 1: than me answering a question today. So we're going to 22 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 1: do that. The article that I found is called the 23 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:22,640 Speaker 1: ten common Beliefs that could be Holding You back at work, 24 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,640 Speaker 1: and it is written by Bruce Tuglan. And what we're 25 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:28,440 Speaker 1: going to do is, I'm going to go through all 26 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:31,399 Speaker 1: the ten beliefs and we're going to talk about them 27 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:34,160 Speaker 1: a little bit. And you might not relate to all 28 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 1: of these, so don't discount the whole thing if they 29 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:39,920 Speaker 1: don't all feel like they fit. Some of these I 30 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,560 Speaker 1: related to more than others, and because of all of 31 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,759 Speaker 1: our work environments being different, some of them just might 32 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,720 Speaker 1: not apply at all to you, and some of them 33 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 1: might really apply. So we're going to go through them 34 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:53,280 Speaker 1: and just notice if something really sticks out and bothers you. 35 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:55,880 Speaker 1: A lot of times they say this when you're looking 36 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,240 Speaker 1: at the enneagram, the one that you actually probably are 37 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:01,360 Speaker 1: your number is usually the one you feel like, oh, 38 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:04,120 Speaker 1: I hate that the most towards because you relate to 39 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,200 Speaker 1: it the most, and you might be hitting on some 40 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:08,880 Speaker 1: things you don't necessarily love about yourself. And so I 41 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:12,320 Speaker 1: think some of this kind of stuff when something's like, 42 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:17,040 Speaker 1: oh no, I know that I can't, they're wrong. It's 43 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:21,280 Speaker 1: because there's something that's it is hitting in you and 44 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:22,920 Speaker 1: maybe a belief that you don't want to let go 45 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:24,960 Speaker 1: of because it's serving you in some way. So just 46 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:28,040 Speaker 1: notice that as we go along. Okay, so number one, 47 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:31,919 Speaker 1: if you are a high performer, your boss shouldn't tell 48 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,240 Speaker 1: you how to do your job. And in the article 49 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:37,720 Speaker 1: they write everybody needs guidance, direction and support to succeed, 50 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 1: which I think we should and can all agree on. 51 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:45,400 Speaker 1: And a good point they made here was think about 52 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:49,520 Speaker 1: professional athletes and they don't stop training with coaches when 53 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 1: they make the team, which right, they continue to need 54 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:57,840 Speaker 1: some guidance and direction to grow in the sport. I 55 00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:00,840 Speaker 1: personally love this one. It touches on that line of 56 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,600 Speaker 1: you know, so you hear so many times people talking 57 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,760 Speaker 1: about their boss being micromanaging, and sometimes I think we 58 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:09,920 Speaker 1: use that term too loosely, and are they really a 59 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:13,120 Speaker 1: micromanager or are they just doing their job as a leader. 60 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 1: And you just might have issues with authority, You might 61 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:19,679 Speaker 1: have issues with being told what to do. You might 62 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:23,640 Speaker 1: have issues with being flexible in how you want to 63 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:26,280 Speaker 1: do things, and those are things for you to work on. 64 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 1: It's not a death sentence to you as an employee 65 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,520 Speaker 1: or a human being, but other things to work on. 66 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:35,080 Speaker 1: And so rather than labeling my boss is a micromanager, 67 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:37,000 Speaker 1: could I look at something that I actually do have 68 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:41,120 Speaker 1: control over and that is how I handle these things 69 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:44,320 Speaker 1: that could be somewhat triggered from something else, And can 70 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:47,560 Speaker 1: I focus on that versus being mad that my boss 71 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:49,480 Speaker 1: is trying to teach me how to do something when 72 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,360 Speaker 1: a lot of times that really might be their job. 73 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:54,600 Speaker 1: Number Two, to be creative at work, you need to 74 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:57,480 Speaker 1: be left alone to do things your own way. This 75 00:03:57,560 --> 00:04:01,520 Speaker 1: one feels so harsh, and I get how that can 76 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,040 Speaker 1: come up, but it feels very stubborn and it feels 77 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:08,400 Speaker 1: very individualistic versus I'm working for the betterment of the mission, 78 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,520 Speaker 1: for the mission of the group that I'm working for. 79 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:16,600 Speaker 1: You can still be creative within confines of rules, regulations, 80 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:20,520 Speaker 1: policies at an organization. We can't always have things our way. 81 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:23,520 Speaker 1: This sentence just feels like kind of like a almost 82 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:26,960 Speaker 1: like a kindergarten kindergarten or temper tantrum. You know, I 83 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,719 Speaker 1: have to be left alone to do things my way. 84 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,760 Speaker 1: It's like, well, that's not always necessary. So what do 85 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:34,240 Speaker 1: you need to be able to be creative within the 86 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:36,680 Speaker 1: regulations and the rules in the environment that we are 87 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:40,279 Speaker 1: in right now. Number three, if someone else is getting 88 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:43,600 Speaker 1: special treatment, you should too. And in the article and 89 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:45,760 Speaker 1: read something just from the article, and it says, put 90 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:48,280 Speaker 1: it this way, treating everybody the same, regardless of their 91 00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:51,479 Speaker 1: performance is totally unfair. If someone else is getting special 92 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:54,480 Speaker 1: treatment you desire or you feel you can deserve, figure 93 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:57,359 Speaker 1: out exactly what that person did to earn that special treatment. 94 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:01,600 Speaker 1: And this actually made me think about siblings and fairness 95 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,240 Speaker 1: and all of that. And I feel like I grew 96 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:06,440 Speaker 1: up in a household where my parents really tried hard 97 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:10,280 Speaker 1: to make everything fair, and in the reality as an adult, 98 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,120 Speaker 1: I can look back and see what it's not always 99 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:15,160 Speaker 1: fair to treat everybody the same. And an example of 100 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,800 Speaker 1: that is the other weekend, Mother's Day came around and 101 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,080 Speaker 1: we all went to my parents' house and my mom 102 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,520 Speaker 1: bought my sister a Mother's Day gift. She did not 103 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,599 Speaker 1: buy me one. My sister is a mother, and I 104 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,760 Speaker 1: am not. So should I be mad that I didn't 105 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,599 Speaker 1: get a gift because she bought my sister something and 106 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:31,640 Speaker 1: not me. I am sitting on the side of no. 107 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,440 Speaker 1: That wouldn't really wouldn't make any sense, and really wouldn't 108 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 1: be justified. Now, I can be sad that I didn't 109 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:41,039 Speaker 1: get something, and I can be sad that I'm not 110 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:43,840 Speaker 1: a mother if that were a thing that bothered me, 111 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:48,160 Speaker 1: But it's not really a justified experience to be mad 112 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:51,040 Speaker 1: at my mom forgetting my sister a gift for something 113 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:53,440 Speaker 1: that applies to her and not me. It kind of 114 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:56,000 Speaker 1: would defeat the purpose of buying the gift in the 115 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:59,920 Speaker 1: first place. You know. Number four, the path to sick 116 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:04,360 Speaker 1: is catering to your boss's style and preferences. Now, this 117 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:07,640 Speaker 1: one is kind of confusing in this grouping because of 118 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:09,760 Speaker 1: the other ones that are saying you can't always have 119 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 1: it your own way and you need to take guidance 120 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:14,760 Speaker 1: from your boss, But it is saying something different. You 121 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,760 Speaker 1: don't always have to do things the way that your 122 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:22,880 Speaker 1: boss has and wants to do them within reason. I 123 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:26,360 Speaker 1: think the issue here is not allowing yourself to ask 124 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:29,240 Speaker 1: for what you need. And you should be able to 125 00:06:29,279 --> 00:06:31,360 Speaker 1: ask for the space that you need. You should be 126 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:34,760 Speaker 1: able to ask for the direction you need, not in 127 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:37,160 Speaker 1: unrealistic like I have to have everything my own way 128 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,200 Speaker 1: or I can't do my job, But you should be 129 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,560 Speaker 1: able to meet with your boss and say, hey, this 130 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:43,919 Speaker 1: is the way that you do things. This really works 131 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:45,839 Speaker 1: well for me. Wondering if we could meet in the 132 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:49,440 Speaker 1: middle some way, somehow, versus just doing whatever they tell 133 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:52,640 Speaker 1: you to do, without any question, without any feedback, without anything. 134 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:55,920 Speaker 1: And this actually makes me think about when I worked 135 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:58,400 Speaker 1: at a treatment center a long time ago. I've talked 136 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,880 Speaker 1: about this a couple times, but one of the therapist 137 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,680 Speaker 1: I work with work there since it was opened. He 138 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:05,640 Speaker 1: was above me. He wasn't my boss, but he was 139 00:07:06,279 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 1: higher than me. So I took a lot of direction 140 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:11,400 Speaker 1: from him. And whenever we would come up with new ideas, 141 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 1: or I would give feedback, or I would have some 142 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:16,360 Speaker 1: something I wanted to do, he'd always he would say, 143 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:19,320 Speaker 1: and was known for saying, well, we've been doing it 144 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:22,680 Speaker 1: this way for fifteen years, and change is hard. I 145 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:24,920 Speaker 1: get that, and I get that's why part of why 146 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:27,280 Speaker 1: that was a sentence that was such a staple for him. 147 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 1: But at the same time, the subbornness of we have 148 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:31,960 Speaker 1: to do it this way because it's the way I've 149 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:34,560 Speaker 1: done it for fifteen years. If that were just to 150 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 1: be the end of that story, we all would have 151 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,960 Speaker 1: missed out on a lot of really great opportunities for 152 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:40,680 Speaker 1: us all to grow and for us to help our 153 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:45,640 Speaker 1: clients grow. So there needs to be space for flexibility. 154 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:51,240 Speaker 1: Number five, making friends with your boss is smart workplace politics, 155 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:53,720 Speaker 1: and I have a lot of feelings about this one. 156 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:56,800 Speaker 1: I work in a different environment than I think a 157 00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 1: lot of these beliefs are coming from just because I 158 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 1: I am my boss and I have a very small team. 159 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:04,600 Speaker 1: Our relationships are just different, I think than a lot 160 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:08,080 Speaker 1: of more like corporate kind of working relationships. But I 161 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:10,000 Speaker 1: do have a lot of feelings about this one because 162 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:13,320 Speaker 1: it can make things really difficult, and it can actually 163 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:16,200 Speaker 1: make things a lot better with your friends with your boss, 164 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:18,840 Speaker 1: or if you're not friends with your boss, and it 165 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:22,760 Speaker 1: really depends on your environment. What I wouldn't do is 166 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,040 Speaker 1: fake a friendship in order to get what you want. 167 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,720 Speaker 1: That a lot of times can backfire. It can suck 168 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,800 Speaker 1: a lot of your emotional energy. It can create a 169 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:33,920 Speaker 1: really toxic environment for yourself to have to go in 170 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,440 Speaker 1: and fake something just to move to the top. That's 171 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:39,880 Speaker 1: not going to feel very good internally. And you can 172 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:42,959 Speaker 1: have a positive work experience without being bff with your boss. 173 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:46,360 Speaker 1: And I think it's fair to say some places it's 174 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:51,000 Speaker 1: best to keep those relationships professional. Number six, Avoiding mistakes 175 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,600 Speaker 1: and problems until necessary is a good way to avoid 176 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:57,920 Speaker 1: hang ups in productivity. Huh Okay, I don't really get 177 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,480 Speaker 1: this one. Well, I mean I get it as a 178 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 1: belief that's holding you back. I don't get this as like, yeah, 179 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,680 Speaker 1: if I just get to keep going, keep going, keep going, 180 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,920 Speaker 1: keep going, keep going, then I might get to the 181 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:11,800 Speaker 1: end faster. But that bump that I just skipped over 182 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:14,320 Speaker 1: might have made a ripple effect in all of the 183 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:18,640 Speaker 1: things that I've created. So at some point it's going 184 00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:22,000 Speaker 1: to actually really slow down your productivity if we are 185 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:25,400 Speaker 1: ignoring problems and waiting till the end to go back 186 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:29,280 Speaker 1: and fix them. Now, I'm somebody who likes to avoid discomfort, 187 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:33,360 Speaker 1: so I can see myself, Oh, I'm not going to 188 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:34,760 Speaker 1: touch that, or I'm not going to get back to that. 189 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,560 Speaker 1: I'm not going to go back to that thing because 190 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:39,720 Speaker 1: that is uncomfortable, it's hard, it's difficult, and I just 191 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:42,920 Speaker 1: I want to keep going on this track. However, it 192 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:47,400 Speaker 1: is our avoidance of issues, whether they're feelings or circumstances, 193 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:51,559 Speaker 1: that ends up perpetuating our problems, not actually making them better. 194 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:53,559 Speaker 1: The avoidance of a problem doesn't make it go away. 195 00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:57,240 Speaker 1: It actually just either shoves it somewhere it doesn't belong, 196 00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:00,600 Speaker 1: or it blows up somewhere else. You to end up 197 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,160 Speaker 1: finding it somewhere, and a lot of times it's going 198 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:05,960 Speaker 1: to be a lot bigger the longer we wait to 199 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:09,840 Speaker 1: go back and address it. Number seven, no news is 200 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:13,079 Speaker 1: good news, but being coached on your performance is bad news. 201 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:18,800 Speaker 1: I would rather be encouraged to improve versus being ignored 202 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:22,560 Speaker 1: or feel like I'm getting by unseen. And I get 203 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:24,839 Speaker 1: that like no news is good news. Sometimes that really 204 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,199 Speaker 1: does apply. I get that of like, oh, okay, so 205 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:30,280 Speaker 1: they're I'm not doing anything wrong, and so if you're 206 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:32,400 Speaker 1: being coached, it means that you're doing something wrong. But 207 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:36,040 Speaker 1: a lot of times that looks more like, oh, I 208 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:39,440 Speaker 1: can see how I can elevate you even more. So 209 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:40,760 Speaker 1: I'm going to give you this tip or I'm going 210 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,160 Speaker 1: to give you this feedback to elevate you so you 211 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:46,080 Speaker 1: actually can reach a higher potential that I see that 212 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:49,880 Speaker 1: you have, versus I'm going to criticize you and brak 213 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:53,360 Speaker 1: you and critique you in a negative way. Now, a 214 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:56,360 Speaker 1: lot of times it is difficult to receive that feedback 215 00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:58,640 Speaker 1: one because it's not given very well. And that's a 216 00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:01,800 Speaker 1: whole other thing. But if we receive all coaching and 217 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:06,240 Speaker 1: all critiques as just this like mean spirited criticism that 218 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:09,040 Speaker 1: a lot of times, if it's not being said as criticism, 219 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:10,760 Speaker 1: that's one thing if it is, but if it's not, 220 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:15,080 Speaker 1: if it's given like healthy feedback and communication, constructive feedback, 221 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:19,040 Speaker 1: that's really hitting on something within us. Right, So what 222 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:21,080 Speaker 1: makes it difficult to hear that I didn't do this 223 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,640 Speaker 1: thing perfectly? What makes it difficult to hear that I 224 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:26,600 Speaker 1: have room to improve? And why is there this icky 225 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,760 Speaker 1: feeling that if I have room to improve, that means 226 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:32,000 Speaker 1: that something bad. If you're in enneagram one, you might 227 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,319 Speaker 1: be like, oh yeah, that would be like the worst 228 00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:37,840 Speaker 1: number eight. If your boss doesn't like to read paperwork, 229 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:40,400 Speaker 1: you don't need to keep track of your performance in writing, 230 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:45,520 Speaker 1: and oh this one scares me. I would keep everything 231 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:50,360 Speaker 1: you can in writing. And I say this because most 232 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,439 Speaker 1: of the people who end up needing that paperwork or 233 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:55,040 Speaker 1: that paper trill or whatever that is, don't ever go 234 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:57,559 Speaker 1: into experiences assuming that they're going to need it. They 235 00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,160 Speaker 1: do it for just in case, and they end up 236 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:01,280 Speaker 1: needing it, and they're like, oh, few, glad I did this. 237 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,680 Speaker 1: And so if that has the opportunity to never hurt 238 00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:07,000 Speaker 1: you but only help you, why wouldn't we do that? 239 00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 1: Number nine, If you are not a people person, you'll 240 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:12,800 Speaker 1: have a hard time getting ahead in the workplace. And 241 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,840 Speaker 1: I just kind of hate this because I get it. 242 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,240 Speaker 1: It's one of the reasons I hate it. I get 243 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:19,000 Speaker 1: it a lot of times. It's like, I'm a people person, 244 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:21,680 Speaker 1: I have people's skills, I'm good at communication, I've this 245 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,160 Speaker 1: that that I love being around, and that makes you 246 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:29,319 Speaker 1: a good employee or somebody that can achieve or you know, 247 00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:33,600 Speaker 1: the charisma might exude an ability that might be very 248 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,800 Speaker 1: equal to somebody that doesn't have that same amount of charisma. 249 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:39,480 Speaker 1: And the reason I hate this is because if you're 250 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:42,560 Speaker 1: not a people person, it doesn't mean you don't have strengths, right, 251 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,960 Speaker 1: and so could we just use those more? If I 252 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,320 Speaker 1: succumb to this, well, I am not a people person, 253 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,199 Speaker 1: so I'll never make it there. I'll never be able 254 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:52,040 Speaker 1: to do that. What you're going to do is just 255 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:55,559 Speaker 1: create this cycle of self fulfilling prophecies. So I might 256 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:58,960 Speaker 1: not be a people person, but what am I? And 257 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:02,480 Speaker 1: the last one, number ten. Some bosses are just too 258 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:05,120 Speaker 1: busy to meet with you. And here's the thing, I 259 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,400 Speaker 1: actually think that's true. Some bosses are too busy to 260 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,360 Speaker 1: meet with you. But it doesn't make it okay and 261 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,640 Speaker 1: doesn't make it right. And so I a would say 262 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:14,480 Speaker 1: that's poor leadership. And it doesn't mean that your boss 263 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:16,760 Speaker 1: is a poor leader. They might be stretched too thin, 264 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:19,360 Speaker 1: but somewhere along the line there are some poor leadership 265 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:22,520 Speaker 1: and the structure is off. And so if my boss 266 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:25,000 Speaker 1: can't meet with me regularly and give me the feedback 267 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,679 Speaker 1: and the support that I need to do my job, well, 268 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:30,600 Speaker 1: I would actually request to meet with them just to 269 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:33,600 Speaker 1: talk about that, because having guidance and feedback from your 270 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:36,360 Speaker 1: boss and feeling supported is not asking for too much 271 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:40,000 Speaker 1: in my little old opinion. So those are the ten 272 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,480 Speaker 1: common beliefs that could be holding you back at work. 273 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:44,640 Speaker 1: If you relate to some of them, I hope this 274 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,440 Speaker 1: was helpful. If you don't relate to any of them, 275 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,720 Speaker 1: I hope that this was just entertaining for you. If 276 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,840 Speaker 1: you guys have any questions or feedback, you can send 277 00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:55,040 Speaker 1: those to Catherine at You Need Therapy podcast dot com. 278 00:13:55,679 --> 00:13:58,920 Speaker 1: I will be back to the regularly scheduled programming of 279 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:02,120 Speaker 1: Answering Your Questions next Wednesday, and I'll be nice and 280 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:06,160 Speaker 1: refreshed because I am going to the beach this weekend 281 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:09,280 Speaker 1: and hopefully we have really good weather. It looks like 282 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:11,120 Speaker 1: we will, because last year we went to the beach, 283 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:14,760 Speaker 1: it rained like every day and I actually got caught. 284 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,199 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it was awful, but it was also great. 285 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:22,320 Speaker 1: We got caught on the beach in this thunderstorm and 286 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,280 Speaker 1: we've at first thought it was me and my fiance Patrick, 287 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,040 Speaker 1: but we had just started we'd only been dating for 288 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:30,320 Speaker 1: like three or four months, really good bonding. We at 289 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:33,120 Speaker 1: first thought it would just like blow by, and so 290 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:35,120 Speaker 1: we were going to just stay here, sit under the umbrella. 291 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,440 Speaker 1: What didn't. So we're under this umbrella for an hour 292 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:39,640 Speaker 1: and at this point, if we leave, everything's going to 293 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:41,800 Speaker 1: get soaked and ruined that we have with us because 294 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,480 Speaker 1: we can't run to a shelter fast enough. And so 295 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,360 Speaker 1: then the storm stopped. Then we were like, Okay, this 296 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,160 Speaker 1: is great. Then thirty minutes it came back. We had 297 00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:50,240 Speaker 1: to go through the whole thing again. It was just, 298 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:54,200 Speaker 1: you know, a fun day under an umbrella, holding on 299 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:57,040 Speaker 1: to all of our things for dear life and just 300 00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:01,480 Speaker 1: bonding in a new relationship. So hopefully we have better 301 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:04,080 Speaker 1: weather this week, and I hope whatever you guys are 302 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:07,880 Speaker 1: doing on your holiday weekend is what you need to 303 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:10,240 Speaker 1: be doing as well, because you know, I hope you 304 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:12,360 Speaker 1: guys are having the day you need to have and 305 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:24,600 Speaker 1: I will talk to you guys again on Monday.