1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,800 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Jonas is Sam your og okay Storytime 2 00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:03,560 Speaker 1: podcast hosts. 3 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:05,640 Speaker 2: We have some great stories coming up. 4 00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:07,000 Speaker 3: But before that, we have a quick two minute break 5 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,520 Speaker 3: from the sponsors that keep the show alive. 6 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:13,039 Speaker 4: My boyfriend's son warned me about him. Now I'm doubting 7 00:00:13,039 --> 00:00:13,840 Speaker 4: our relationship. 8 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 5: Should have probably listened to your boyfriend's son. 9 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:19,680 Speaker 4: Me twenty seven female with my boyfriend fifty mail of 10 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,360 Speaker 4: three months, his kid warned me about him. I've been 11 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:25,520 Speaker 4: dating Jesse for about three months. It's been a bit 12 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 4: of a whirlwind romance. Jesse is the kind of guy 13 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:31,760 Speaker 4: I've always wanted, confident and smart and makes me feel 14 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 4: like a princess. And the spicy s leap is great 15 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,479 Speaker 4: and I feel like we have a deep connection. 16 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:36,159 Speaker 5: I bet you do. 17 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:37,400 Speaker 2: By the way, this comes. 18 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:39,080 Speaker 4: From Airpass and if you want to spend your own stories, 19 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:40,920 Speaker 4: good to the r slash Okay Storytime suppered it. 20 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:43,400 Speaker 5: I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, the guy he was. 21 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,879 Speaker 6: About to crash out. Look at him, he's red already, 22 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:48,640 Speaker 6: and I'm ke On and we're here. 23 00:00:48,479 --> 00:00:49,160 Speaker 7: To give good advice. 24 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:49,600 Speaker 5: Goofiley. 25 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:50,800 Speaker 7: But we don't have all the answers. 26 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:52,839 Speaker 4: We only know what we do, so let us know 27 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:56,600 Speaker 4: what you would do in the comments, OPI says, last Friday, 28 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,960 Speaker 4: Jesse and I went out and ran into his son, 29 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:04,200 Speaker 4: Julian eighteen. Julian shouldn't have been there as he is underage, 30 00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:06,920 Speaker 4: so I assume he had a fake ID. Jesse was 31 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:09,959 Speaker 4: excited to see him, but Julian seemed like he didn't 32 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:13,200 Speaker 4: want to see Jesse at all. It was very awkward. Later, 33 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:15,520 Speaker 4: while Jesse was talking to someone he knew from work, 34 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:16,720 Speaker 4: Julian approached me. 35 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:18,880 Speaker 7: He told me he'll get tired. 36 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,280 Speaker 4: Of you, he won't care about you anymore, and just 37 00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:23,360 Speaker 4: see you as something he has to spend money on. 38 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:26,839 Speaker 4: Then I'll find something new he always does. He said 39 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:29,640 Speaker 4: he was sorry and then left the bar. I didn't 40 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:31,920 Speaker 4: know how to respond, so I talked to Jesse. He 41 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,520 Speaker 4: told me how his ex wife and stepdaughters had poisoned 42 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:38,560 Speaker 4: Julian against him. I've always known Jesse to be very generous, 43 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:40,760 Speaker 4: so I don't believe the money part is true. 44 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,640 Speaker 7: But I do know that Jesse hardly ever. 45 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,920 Speaker 4: Spends time with his son, which is like a little 46 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,800 Speaker 4: bit of a rip line. That is, he says Julian 47 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 4: won't answer his calls or texts. And avoids him. Jesse 48 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:54,120 Speaker 4: also works a significant amount and finds it difficult to 49 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,160 Speaker 4: balance his time. How do I know if this is 50 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,520 Speaker 4: a red flag or not. This kid could have just 51 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:01,400 Speaker 4: had a warped perception of his father, But I can't 52 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:04,360 Speaker 4: help but feel badly for Julian. He seemed really sad 53 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:07,600 Speaker 4: at that bar and Common one says Julian's mother the 54 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,680 Speaker 4: said ex wife. It would be pretty messed up to 55 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:14,800 Speaker 4: me if a biological child chose his stepmother and stepsisters 56 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,680 Speaker 4: over his father, and that would be a serious. 57 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:18,160 Speaker 7: Red flag to me. 58 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:18,840 Speaker 5: Hmmm. 59 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,400 Speaker 4: Op says she is the mother, his sisters are half siblings. 60 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,280 Speaker 4: Common two says, I'm always surprised at just how bias 61 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,240 Speaker 4: this subreddit is against relationships with age gaps. It's not 62 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,679 Speaker 4: like you're eighteen and he's praying on your inexperience. You're 63 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:33,239 Speaker 4: a grown woman. There's nothing inherently wrong with the age 64 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,880 Speaker 4: gap in your relationship anyway, and never let someone else 65 00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:39,120 Speaker 4: into your relationship. This kid clearly has an agenda, and 66 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,640 Speaker 4: he probably doesn't have your best interests at heart. This 67 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:44,079 Speaker 4: is supported by the fact that Jesse's excitement to see 68 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:47,080 Speaker 4: his son only went one way. There's bitterness there, and 69 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:50,880 Speaker 4: it's not coming from Jesse. Keep Julian's words in mind 70 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,480 Speaker 4: in case you see any other red flags, like how 71 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:54,519 Speaker 4: did Jesse's. 72 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:55,200 Speaker 7: Previous relationships go? 73 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:58,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, but don't let those words supersede your gut feeling 74 00:02:58,360 --> 00:02:59,440 Speaker 4: about the relationship. 75 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:00,799 Speaker 7: What are your thoughts on this? 76 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:04,919 Speaker 5: If let's say Kean and I started dating, ye huh, 77 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,799 Speaker 5: and his sister came up to me and said, hey, 78 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:09,960 Speaker 5: you're just a peach right now, and once he gets 79 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:12,200 Speaker 5: his fill, he's gonna go find another peach. 80 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:13,000 Speaker 7: I hate that. 81 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,600 Speaker 5: I would probably be like, Keon, Yeah, what does she 82 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:16,919 Speaker 5: mean by this? What's going on? 83 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,080 Speaker 7: Yeah? 84 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:20,960 Speaker 6: I hated you to choose me or her? Huh, who 85 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:21,600 Speaker 6: are you to believe? 86 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:22,760 Speaker 5: I'm just asking questions. 87 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:25,480 Speaker 4: I hated how you said that, but I do agree. 88 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:28,600 Speaker 4: I think you should go to your partner who seemingly 89 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,000 Speaker 4: you have a good relationship with, and have a conversation 90 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 4: with him about it and see what his relationship with 91 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:35,080 Speaker 4: the Sun is like, his relationship with Zax is like. 92 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 5: And I know that those words that Julian said, it's it's. 93 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,640 Speaker 4: Just our discord whether or not he is, you know. 94 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:46,080 Speaker 5: Yeah, But do I let it be water over a 95 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 5: rock or do I take it in and let it 96 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:50,960 Speaker 5: because I feel like these words are gonna haunt Opie absolutely, 97 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:52,920 Speaker 5: and then something's gonna happen. It's gonna be Oh, he 98 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:55,200 Speaker 5: was right. That's that's a vibe I get here. It's 99 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:57,800 Speaker 5: like a little mysterious warning. 100 00:03:58,240 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 7: Yeah. 101 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,920 Speaker 4: I agree, oh, Pi says, I'm not worried about the 102 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:04,520 Speaker 4: age difference, a little surprised by the responses toward it. 103 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:07,280 Speaker 4: Them running into each other was weird. Jesse was excited, 104 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:10,000 Speaker 4: but he didn't ask why Julian was drinking underage at 105 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:12,640 Speaker 4: the bar. It didn't seem to bother him. Julian drove 106 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,320 Speaker 4: afterwards as well, and he didn't seem wasted, but I 107 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:18,400 Speaker 4: was surprised Jesse didn't say anything. He also didn't seem 108 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 4: to notice that Julian seemed awkward running into us until 109 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,800 Speaker 4: I mentioned what Julian told me. He didn't seem to 110 00:04:23,839 --> 00:04:27,200 Speaker 4: have any idea that the encounter was so awkward. I 111 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,679 Speaker 4: just feel like it could go either way so easily. 112 00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:32,719 Speaker 4: Julian doesn't seem like a bad kid, but Jesse doesn't 113 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:35,120 Speaker 4: seem like a bad guy either. Doesn't have to be 114 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,360 Speaker 4: one of the other comment three says he's fifty years 115 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,479 Speaker 4: old and chasing after twenty seven year old. 116 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:41,960 Speaker 7: Listen to his son. Someone that feels. 117 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:44,960 Speaker 4: Too good to be true usually is Covin. For you 118 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:48,360 Speaker 4: are twenty seven, he is fifty. He's with you because 119 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:51,920 Speaker 4: you're significantly younger and have a better body and higher 120 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,640 Speaker 4: spicy sleep drive than women in his own age. That 121 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:58,080 Speaker 4: is the craziest something that's crazy, That is actually crazy. 122 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,880 Speaker 5: You know how many likes have a high. 123 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that's I don't like that comment. 124 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:04,119 Speaker 7: Oh but your eyes. 125 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:07,240 Speaker 4: If Julian was twelve, then maybe don't believe him. 126 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 7: But he's nineteen. 127 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:11,599 Speaker 4: Had his mom poison him against Jesse, then Julian would 128 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,599 Speaker 4: have come to the realization by now that his mom 129 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:16,960 Speaker 4: was lying. And there is an update three months later, 130 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:18,560 Speaker 4: But any thoughts my prediction. 131 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,560 Speaker 5: Yes, I think they're going to break up in this update. Yeah, 132 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:25,440 Speaker 5: I think what Julian said was true and he's gonna 133 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,240 Speaker 5: come out in a different way. I think hope he 134 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:29,160 Speaker 5: should have done what you said, talk to him and 135 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:29,800 Speaker 5: figure it out. 136 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:30,840 Speaker 7: I hope that she does. 137 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:35,280 Speaker 5: I just don't think. Yeah, the emotional intelligence, I haven't 138 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,400 Speaker 5: heard anything about his emotional intelligence, so I'm a. 139 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,880 Speaker 7: Little Yeah, little curious about that. 140 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,120 Speaker 4: Thanks for all the advice, even though it was tough 141 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:44,320 Speaker 4: to hear. I ended up deciding to move forward with 142 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,680 Speaker 4: a relationship, but keep an eye out for any other 143 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:49,880 Speaker 4: red flax to backtrack. Early in our relationship, I got 144 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:51,680 Speaker 4: a text from a friend of mine that he. 145 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:53,880 Speaker 7: Had seen Jesse at the local spicy club. 146 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,680 Speaker 4: I spoke to Jesse about it, and he said he 147 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:59,200 Speaker 4: did not consider it cheating because he did not get 148 00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:01,120 Speaker 4: lap dances or touch the dancers. 149 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:03,640 Speaker 5: I would on a date with her, but we didn't 150 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:05,679 Speaker 5: kiss or go home together. 151 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:09,320 Speaker 4: I'm sorry, Okay, Okay, So now she's confirming that he 152 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:12,760 Speaker 4: already had some trouble in the beginning of the relationship. 153 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:16,000 Speaker 4: So yeah, now I have less faith in this relationship same. 154 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,080 Speaker 4: I let him know that I would let it slide, 155 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,320 Speaker 4: but in the future, I'm not okay with him going 156 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:23,600 Speaker 4: to spicy clubs without talking to me about it. First. 157 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:26,240 Speaker 4: He agreed, but I kept noticing he would be out 158 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:29,000 Speaker 4: working late. He told me at an emergency flood and 159 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,040 Speaker 4: had to work late, and I ended up seeing him 160 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:32,240 Speaker 4: at a gas station. 161 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 7: That I was driving by. 162 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:34,880 Speaker 4: I stopped and talked to him, and he said he 163 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:37,360 Speaker 4: had just gotten off work, but he smelled like cigarettes 164 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:40,560 Speaker 4: and booze, and his clothes weren't dirty like they typically 165 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:43,720 Speaker 4: are when he works flood damages. I also noticed he 166 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:46,479 Speaker 4: was very protective of his work phone. He leaves his 167 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:49,000 Speaker 4: other cell phone out all the time, but once I 168 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,080 Speaker 4: asked to use his work phone to look something up 169 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:53,120 Speaker 4: and he basically told me no, and to get my 170 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:53,839 Speaker 4: phone charging in. 171 00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:55,480 Speaker 5: The other room. 172 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:58,320 Speaker 7: Yeah, that's weird. It all just builds up, so I snooped. 173 00:06:58,520 --> 00:06:59,840 Speaker 4: I got up in the middle of the night when 174 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:02,280 Speaker 4: I was staying at his place and looked through both phones. 175 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:05,640 Speaker 4: On his work phones, I found texts to escorts and 176 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:10,960 Speaker 4: spicy dancers woe. On his other call, I found a 177 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,320 Speaker 4: ton of text to his ex wife, who he promised 178 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:15,360 Speaker 4: me he didn't talk to you anymore unless it was 179 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:16,160 Speaker 4: about Julian. 180 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,120 Speaker 5: Liar may be talking about Julian a lot. 181 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:20,400 Speaker 8: Yeah, you know what. 182 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:25,240 Speaker 4: Props to Julian for letting you know, good son. Apparently 183 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,600 Speaker 4: she just started dating again a month ago, and he 184 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:31,600 Speaker 4: absolutely shredded her for it. He said some very cruel 185 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:34,560 Speaker 4: things like you must have found a guy who loves fat, 186 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,480 Speaker 4: but it will be seen with you. 187 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:37,760 Speaker 7: Suck dude. 188 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 6: What's wrong with that. 189 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,760 Speaker 7: What he said, he just insulted her. Are you talking 190 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 7: to him? 191 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,600 Speaker 5: I was just saying, like that was a week insult, Like. 192 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:50,440 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I know, that's what I'm saying, Okay. 193 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,160 Speaker 7: Yeah. She never replied. 194 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:54,760 Speaker 4: As far as I can tell, looking at those texts, 195 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:57,320 Speaker 4: I knew that any future with Jesse was gonna end 196 00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:59,920 Speaker 4: like this. I also saw that he never messages Julian. 197 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,760 Speaker 4: What's worse their text feed is Julian reaching out every 198 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:04,400 Speaker 4: couple months and getting ignored. 199 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 7: Oh that's so sad. 200 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:08,840 Speaker 4: One text from a few months ago was Julian telling 201 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:10,840 Speaker 4: him that his band had a gig and asking if 202 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:14,040 Speaker 4: he would come. I remember that weekend. Me and Jesse 203 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:16,600 Speaker 4: stayed in that night and had a bunch of spicy sleep. 204 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:19,200 Speaker 7: He never even mentioned his son at a show. I 205 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:19,880 Speaker 7: felt sick. 206 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,720 Speaker 4: I went online and bought ten copies of his band's epy. 207 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:26,360 Speaker 4: A few days later, OPHI if he feels so bad, 208 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:30,680 Speaker 4: She's like, I have to support his son now, oh man. 209 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:33,560 Speaker 4: In the end, I decided to just ghost him. He 210 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:36,360 Speaker 4: obviously had no respect for our relationship, and I felt 211 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,280 Speaker 4: I didn't know him anything. When he was at work, 212 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,000 Speaker 4: I got all my things out of his apartment and 213 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:42,360 Speaker 4: left a note. I just wrote that his family was 214 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,640 Speaker 4: right about him and did not contact me again. He 215 00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:47,160 Speaker 4: texted me later that he had an emergency he had had. 216 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:47,640 Speaker 7: To work late. 217 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:48,440 Speaker 5: Oh I bet. 218 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:53,640 Speaker 4: He obviously hadn't seen my note, and I just didn't respond. 219 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,600 Speaker 4: The next day, he found the note and started messaging 220 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:58,839 Speaker 4: me about it. I decided to take a page from 221 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:01,720 Speaker 4: his ex wife's book ignore him. As the week moved 222 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:05,200 Speaker 4: on and he realized I was serious, the messages started 223 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:08,319 Speaker 4: getting hateful things I don't care to repeat. I blocked 224 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:10,200 Speaker 4: his number then. But there is a little bit left 225 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:12,360 Speaker 4: to this story. Any final thoughts. 226 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:15,800 Speaker 5: Honestly, Op, did the right move. Listen to Julian. He 227 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,640 Speaker 5: knows what's up. He's a good kid. He does just 228 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:21,600 Speaker 5: spread lies, So I think you did the right thing. Ope, 229 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:24,200 Speaker 5: always listen to the kid. I feel like it was 230 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:27,000 Speaker 5: just like a little angel being like fear him. 231 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:27,800 Speaker 1: I enjoyed this. 232 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:29,560 Speaker 5: Yeah, me too. It was a great story. What do 233 00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 5: you think youon? 234 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:31,160 Speaker 6: What are you good for you? 235 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:31,840 Speaker 3: Op? Yeah? 236 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:32,319 Speaker 8: Good for you? 237 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:33,320 Speaker 7: Get out of that relationship. 238 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:37,120 Speaker 6: If someone warns you about our relationship, probably you. 239 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:38,720 Speaker 7: Know good Yeah, to look into that. 240 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:41,000 Speaker 5: They went out of their way yeah, they didn't like 241 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:45,720 Speaker 5: they went out of their way. There wasn't a spiteful 242 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:49,080 Speaker 5: energy to get you to date them or like like 243 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:50,560 Speaker 5: if Julie was trying to get in your pants and 244 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:53,800 Speaker 5: to be like, uh you, but like it was purely 245 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:58,360 Speaker 5: a good intention of warning. Yeah, I think we all 246 00:09:58,400 --> 00:09:59,520 Speaker 5: need to listen to but. 247 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:00,400 Speaker 7: There is a little left. 248 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:03,040 Speaker 4: It's disturbing for me to think about what a cruel 249 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:06,080 Speaker 4: and vicious person he ended up being. If Julian hadn't 250 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:08,000 Speaker 4: talked to me at the bar, how much longer would 251 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,960 Speaker 4: it have taken me to see this side of him. 252 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:12,400 Speaker 4: I also have this weird guilty feeling that I'm a 253 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,640 Speaker 4: home wrecker, even though Jesse obviously wrecked his home himself. 254 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:17,440 Speaker 4: I really thought of me and Jesse as having a 255 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:20,400 Speaker 4: potential for a long term relationship. It hurts to have 256 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:23,240 Speaker 4: those hopes crushed and not getting any younger. 257 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:25,199 Speaker 7: I got a lot of comments last post. 258 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:27,280 Speaker 4: About the age gap, not really interested in that. I 259 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:30,839 Speaker 4: know several couples with significant age gaps. I'm a grown woman, 260 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:33,880 Speaker 4: not a teenager, and I can choose to date someone older. 261 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,520 Speaker 4: Hopefully it won't be an ale next time, and comment 262 00:10:36,559 --> 00:10:38,600 Speaker 4: once is good on you for getting out. Think about 263 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:40,600 Speaker 4: dropping a note to Julian so you can thank him 264 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,960 Speaker 4: for the warning. The kid might feel better for knowing 265 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,440 Speaker 4: that his warning help someone for once. Besides, it can 266 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:47,760 Speaker 4: be validating when dealing with a harmful ale to have 267 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:50,600 Speaker 4: someone else go yeah, he's a knuckle out, all right, 268 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:51,680 Speaker 4: and you were right? 269 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:52,640 Speaker 7: Oh, he says. 270 00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:54,959 Speaker 4: I did consider it, but I feel like I'm probably 271 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,240 Speaker 4: the last person he wants to hear from. And that 272 00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,400 Speaker 4: is the end of the story. 273 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:04,400 Speaker 9: Folks, my girlfriend ruined my favorite sweater because she thinks 274 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:05,640 Speaker 9: my ex is hotter. 275 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:08,760 Speaker 3: If you want to destroy my sweater, pull this thread 276 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:09,600 Speaker 3: as I walk away. 277 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,360 Speaker 8: Hi, twenty eight male really really loved this sweater. 278 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:15,200 Speaker 9: It was smart, casual with a striped pattern from a 279 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:18,199 Speaker 9: fancy Italian brand. I could wear it to work as 280 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,959 Speaker 9: well as for an evening out, and I really liked 281 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,840 Speaker 9: how I looked in it. I'm really really pissed to 282 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:24,319 Speaker 9: lose it. 283 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:28,720 Speaker 2: It's from a fancy Italian brand, exactly by Rari. 284 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:32,600 Speaker 9: By the way, this comes from Throwaway our gyle and 285 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,320 Speaker 9: if you want to submit your own stories, go to 286 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:37,160 Speaker 9: the r slash Okay storytime, separate it and I'm Angie. 287 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:40,960 Speaker 6: I'm Dakota and I'm Keon and we're. 288 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:43,720 Speaker 9: Here to give good advice goofully, So we're just gonna 289 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,319 Speaker 9: guess what we would do in these situations. 290 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,000 Speaker 8: But we don't have all the answers, So let us 291 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:48,520 Speaker 8: know what you would do in the comments. 292 00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:50,120 Speaker 2: Hello oh, he says. 293 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:55,520 Speaker 9: Background on the relationship. My girlfriend is Hannah, twenty seven female. 294 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:57,800 Speaker 9: We met because we live on the same street and 295 00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:00,520 Speaker 9: used to have our pre work morning call at. 296 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:01,120 Speaker 8: The same cafe. 297 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:04,520 Speaker 9: Our coffee meetup slowly turned into dates, and we've officially 298 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:06,000 Speaker 9: been a couple for about six months. 299 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:06,679 Speaker 8: I like her. 300 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:09,880 Speaker 9: She's sweet and smart and pretty, but we are taking 301 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:11,960 Speaker 9: it slow since both of us are coming off. 302 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:14,440 Speaker 8: Of terrible breakups. She broke up with her fella of 303 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:15,480 Speaker 8: ten years. 304 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:18,720 Speaker 2: Wow. That ten year fella. Yeah. 305 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:22,360 Speaker 9: Their relationship ended in a haale of fights and petty 306 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:26,040 Speaker 9: behavior which tore apart their friends and pissed off their families. 307 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,839 Speaker 8: The reasons were never clear to me. 308 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,960 Speaker 9: All Hannah said was that all of their relationship problems 309 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,640 Speaker 9: came up at the same time and everything unraveled. 310 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,720 Speaker 8: My breakup was kind of different. 311 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:39,240 Speaker 9: Haley also twenty seven female, and I never really officially dated, 312 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,559 Speaker 9: but we had been friends for a very long time. 313 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:44,599 Speaker 9: We slept together once when we were both between relationships, 314 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:47,080 Speaker 9: but we were sure that we worked better as friends. 315 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:50,120 Speaker 9: Two years back, Haley broke up from a bad relationship 316 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:53,600 Speaker 9: and we got into a semi official friends with benefits situation. 317 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:56,560 Speaker 9: We would still hang out and talk as friends, but 318 00:12:56,679 --> 00:12:59,120 Speaker 9: once in a while we'd also have some form of 319 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:02,120 Speaker 9: physical intimate. Both of us also got really busy with 320 00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:05,520 Speaker 9: our careers, so we never really had other romantic relationships. 321 00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:09,080 Speaker 9: Around Christmas twenty fifteen, Haley brought up our relationship and 322 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:11,920 Speaker 9: told me that she was falling for me as more 323 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:15,199 Speaker 9: than a friend and wanted to explore a relationship with me. 324 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:18,840 Speaker 9: I didn't, so I had my own reasons, mainly that 325 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:22,280 Speaker 9: we had some fundamentally mismatched views on life that would 326 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:23,720 Speaker 9: make a relationship really hard. 327 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,680 Speaker 8: We worked really well as friends and she was really 328 00:13:26,679 --> 00:13:27,280 Speaker 8: important to. 329 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,400 Speaker 9: My life and I didn't want to jeopardize that by 330 00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:30,680 Speaker 9: getting into a relationship. 331 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:32,679 Speaker 8: Well, I still lost that friendship. 332 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:35,600 Speaker 9: She essentially went no contact, and no matter how much 333 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:37,920 Speaker 9: I hated it, I couldn't really say much since it 334 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,200 Speaker 9: was a reasonable thing. 335 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:41,080 Speaker 8: For her to do for her own sake, But it 336 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:41,640 Speaker 8: really hurt. 337 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,600 Speaker 9: Losing her as a friend hurt way more than a 338 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:47,160 Speaker 9: breakup I've ever had, and it took me a while 339 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:50,080 Speaker 9: to find my footing. Hannah knew the basic details about 340 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:53,280 Speaker 9: my and Haley's relationship and wasn't too curious about it. 341 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:54,360 Speaker 8: She also knew that. 342 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:56,400 Speaker 9: I had a few things that Haley had given me, 343 00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:59,079 Speaker 9: but never raised an issue about it, especially since she 344 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:02,319 Speaker 9: had a bunch of from her ex as well. This Christmas, 345 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:04,880 Speaker 9: I accompanied Hannah to her office Christmas party. 346 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:08,320 Speaker 8: To my surprise, Haley was also there. 347 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:15,160 Speaker 9: Surprise surprise, what turns out she started working there recently, 348 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:18,520 Speaker 9: at a different department from Hannah's. We exchanged pleasantries and 349 00:14:18,559 --> 00:14:21,160 Speaker 9: tried some small talk, but it was awkward and lasted 350 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,760 Speaker 9: maybe three minutes, most of which was silence. Then Haley 351 00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:27,160 Speaker 9: left early and I didn't see her again. While I 352 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:29,880 Speaker 9: talked to Haley, Hannah was somewhere else, and when she 353 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,040 Speaker 9: came back, I told her about it. She had never 354 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:35,520 Speaker 9: met her before Big Company, but her curiosity was piqued. 355 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:39,240 Speaker 9: In any case, I got into a jovial party mood 356 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:43,680 Speaker 9: and everything went back to normal until last Friday, when 357 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:46,280 Speaker 9: I was at work, I got a flurry of texts 358 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:50,080 Speaker 9: from Hannah basically saying that she finally met Haley. Now 359 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:54,560 Speaker 9: you should know that Haley is really attractive, like modeling 360 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:58,320 Speaker 9: offers since she was sixteen attractive. Plus her job also 361 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:02,400 Speaker 9: means that she's always dressed to an alive event manager 362 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:06,040 Speaker 9: for high end corporate parties. Okay, interesting, Well, seeing Haley 363 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:07,840 Speaker 9: did a number on Hannah. 364 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:09,320 Speaker 8: She didn't come out and say it. 365 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:12,520 Speaker 9: But she suddenly got extremely curious about Haley as well 366 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:16,120 Speaker 9: as our relationship, with a lot of questions about everything. 367 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:20,080 Speaker 9: She even specifically mentioned the sweater, saying, no, wonder you 368 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,240 Speaker 9: love that sweater so much? 369 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:25,440 Speaker 8: Ah, that's no good, That's no good. 370 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:31,080 Speaker 9: I tried my best to assuage her insecurities. I told 371 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:33,680 Speaker 9: her that there was absolutely nothing between Haley and me. 372 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 9: We haven't even talked to each other in more than 373 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:38,480 Speaker 9: a year, except for three awkward minutes during that party. 374 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:40,400 Speaker 9: I also told her that I really liked her and 375 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:42,560 Speaker 9: could see our relationship going pretty far, but. 376 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:45,280 Speaker 8: I was also low key annoyed with the whole conversation. 377 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:48,240 Speaker 9: Anyways, Hannah slept over Saturday night, and I thought we 378 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:51,800 Speaker 9: had gotten somewhat past this momentary burst of jealousy. Then 379 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:54,720 Speaker 9: she left early on Sunday morning, saying something had come up, 380 00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,960 Speaker 9: even though we had plans to spend the day together. 381 00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,440 Speaker 9: In the evening, I was going through my lawndream and 382 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:02,400 Speaker 9: I saw the sweater with a big hole in the armpit, 383 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,160 Speaker 9: like someone had tried to literally pull it apart with 384 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:09,280 Speaker 9: their bare hands. Now it's obvious that it was Hannah's doing. 385 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:11,120 Speaker 9: Oh my god, that's crazy. 386 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:14,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just a piece of clothing. Like, it doesn't 387 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:18,400 Speaker 3: mean I'm like in love with the person who gave. 388 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,720 Speaker 2: It to me, right that it's associated with. 389 00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:23,480 Speaker 9: Yeah, I have clothes for my ex and it's just 390 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,760 Speaker 9: kind of like, well, free clothes, that's. 391 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:28,120 Speaker 2: All it is to me. You know, their clothes. 392 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:32,120 Speaker 8: I'm sure it's the same for Op, but not for Hannah. 393 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,120 Speaker 3: I guess it's like it's not like it's a sweater 394 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:38,000 Speaker 3: that's like xoxo from Haley, your favorite girl in the universe. 395 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,320 Speaker 8: She didn't make it for you. That would be different. 396 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,120 Speaker 3: If it was a sweater that had a big like 397 00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:45,840 Speaker 3: Haley and Op Forever exoxo on it, that would make 398 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:46,440 Speaker 3: more sense. 399 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:47,440 Speaker 8: Yeah, exactly. 400 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,680 Speaker 6: Or you wear that sweater from your ex and he's like, 401 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:51,480 Speaker 6: I love the sweater. I haven't washed it because it 402 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:52,200 Speaker 6: smells like him. 403 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:54,480 Speaker 8: Yeah, exactly. It's like, that's just not. 404 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:57,120 Speaker 2: This is concerning. 405 00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:00,480 Speaker 9: Yeah, but now the idea of like it looking like 406 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,440 Speaker 9: it had been tried to rip apart with your bare hands, 407 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:07,400 Speaker 9: I'm just imagining like the mental breakdown that Hannah was having, like, yeah. 408 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:09,080 Speaker 2: That's that's that's pretty rough. 409 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:09,879 Speaker 8: We don't like that. 410 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:12,000 Speaker 9: I had worn that sweater on Thursday, and when I 411 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:14,600 Speaker 9: put it aside for dry cleaning, it was fine. No 412 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:16,679 Speaker 9: one else had come to my flat since then. I 413 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:19,320 Speaker 9: texted her asking about it directly. May not have been 414 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:21,919 Speaker 9: the best tactic, but I was incredibly pissed off. She 415 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:24,679 Speaker 9: was defensive from the get go, denying that she did it, 416 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:27,440 Speaker 9: coming up with various ways that could have happened, and 417 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,800 Speaker 9: continuously telling me that I was an a hole for 418 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:33,040 Speaker 9: thinking she was crazy like that. Today this morning, she 419 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:36,600 Speaker 9: texted me all pissed and kurt and told me that yes, 420 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:40,919 Speaker 9: the provenance of the sweater bothered her, but she didn't 421 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:43,240 Speaker 9: do it. I think I need to dump her, but 422 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:46,240 Speaker 9: I've been second guessing myself a fair bit as well. 423 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:49,080 Speaker 9: Hannah has always been really sweet and is very caring 424 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:50,400 Speaker 9: and sensitive about my feelings. 425 00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:51,640 Speaker 8: I really like her and. 426 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,879 Speaker 9: We don't have any fundamental differences. We can genuinely have 427 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,600 Speaker 9: a good, fulfilling relationship. And maybe this ripping up a 428 00:17:57,640 --> 00:18:00,680 Speaker 9: sweater thing was just a momentary lapse of judgment, which 429 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,800 Speaker 9: she is extremely embarrassed about and hence her defensiveness. 430 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:04,760 Speaker 8: But what do you think? 431 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,000 Speaker 9: And we do have some relevant comments, But what do 432 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:08,600 Speaker 9: you think Dakota and Kean? 433 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:10,800 Speaker 3: I think I would have liked it more she had 434 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:13,720 Speaker 3: just owned it, yeah and been like, yeah, I did that, Yeah, 435 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,720 Speaker 3: I did that. I hate that sweater, right, I hate 436 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:17,960 Speaker 3: that sweater. I don't like that girl. 437 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:18,879 Speaker 5: I don't like the sweater. 438 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,040 Speaker 8: Yeah, I still would be worried. 439 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:23,119 Speaker 6: Do you not like the sweater or do you not 440 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:24,880 Speaker 6: like what the sweater stands for? 441 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:25,640 Speaker 8: Exactly? 442 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, but it just stands for a good sweater. 443 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:32,000 Speaker 6: Yeah. From Op's perspective, it stands for comfortability. 444 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:34,919 Speaker 8: Yeah, and I feel good in it because it fits me. 445 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,480 Speaker 6: Well, that is, if you don't like me when I 446 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,639 Speaker 6: feel good, you might like me when I feel bad. 447 00:18:39,359 --> 00:18:41,320 Speaker 2: It is expansive in Italian. 448 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:44,360 Speaker 8: Exactly, let me have this, exactly. 449 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:45,480 Speaker 2: Please and let me have this. 450 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:46,080 Speaker 1: Yeah. 451 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:49,440 Speaker 9: I feel like even her texts before is like already 452 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:52,000 Speaker 9: a red flag of her freaking out the fact that 453 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:52,840 Speaker 9: Haley's pretty. 454 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,160 Speaker 8: It's like, girl, well you're pretty too. 455 00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:57,639 Speaker 3: Quit it, you know, Like, yeah, there's always gonna be 456 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:02,240 Speaker 3: someone prettier than you or someone right, there's theoretically someone 457 00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:04,320 Speaker 3: out there who's the prettiest person on earth. 458 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:06,200 Speaker 8: Sure, but we do have some relevant comments. 459 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:09,440 Speaker 9: One commentary says, I can't imagine dating someone who would 460 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:12,960 Speaker 9: fly into a jealous rage and destroy my property because 461 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,480 Speaker 9: an old X was attractive. 462 00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:18,560 Speaker 8: That's really insane. Reagan says, my ex, who I have 463 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:19,360 Speaker 8: a five. 464 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:22,639 Speaker 9: Year long restraining order against, destroyed a dozen items of 465 00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:25,520 Speaker 9: my clothing by tearing holes in them in a jealous rage. 466 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:30,359 Speaker 9: Only backcrap. I think crazy a holes do this. Don't 467 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,800 Speaker 9: date anyone who does. Howie and Makeham says, if she 468 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:35,639 Speaker 9: ripped a hole in your sweater because you used to 469 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:39,000 Speaker 9: date an attractive woman, I'm guessing the breakup won't be pleasant. 470 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,680 Speaker 9: And we do have an update of ten days later. 471 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,679 Speaker 9: Do we think this is going to be a breakup update? 472 00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:46,919 Speaker 2: I think so. Yeah, I hope so. 473 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,920 Speaker 9: Since it's been ten days and the matter has been 474 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:52,919 Speaker 9: settled in a satisfactory manner, I thought i'd update you 475 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:56,600 Speaker 9: guys as to the final conclusion. I've had a few pints, 476 00:19:56,720 --> 00:20:01,400 Speaker 9: so forgive the disjointedness. And we got some frequently asked questions. 477 00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:10,040 Speaker 9: It was a Laurel piano jumper. What Lourel pianoano? 478 00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:12,560 Speaker 4: It's not repairable, I asked around. 479 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:15,600 Speaker 9: My evidence for knowing that Hannah was the culprit is 480 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:18,800 Speaker 9: circumstantial but compelling. Firstly, after I put it in the 481 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,440 Speaker 9: pile meant for dry cleaning, it was covered by a 482 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:24,520 Speaker 9: bunch of other stuff. When I discovered its tattered remains, 483 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:26,720 Speaker 9: it was bunched up in a ball on top of 484 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:27,200 Speaker 9: the pile. 485 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,320 Speaker 8: Secondly, the tear was eight inches. 486 00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:34,359 Speaker 9: Long, something I would have noticed quite comfortably if it 487 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,199 Speaker 9: had happened while I was wearing it, or while I 488 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:40,280 Speaker 9: put it in the laundry pile. Thirdly, while it was torn, 489 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:44,280 Speaker 9: it was also stretched completely out of shape. The stretching 490 00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:47,119 Speaker 9: would be consistent with someone grabbing two sides of it 491 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:51,959 Speaker 9: and pulling it apart. Most convincingly, when I confronted Hannah aggressively, 492 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:55,200 Speaker 9: I admit she started telling me about all the alternative 493 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,960 Speaker 9: ways in which the damage could have happened. With exact 494 00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,760 Speaker 9: knowledge of the type of damage that. 495 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,320 Speaker 8: I pour jumper had suffered. Yeah, that's a giveaway. 496 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:05,439 Speaker 9: I had never mentioned the type of damage, namely that 497 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:08,960 Speaker 9: it was in the armpit area along the seam, along 498 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:11,800 Speaker 9: with the stretching. That sounds like the type of damage. 499 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:14,000 Speaker 9: But maybe there were other details that she was referencing 500 00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:16,479 Speaker 9: to the lady who sent me a very heartfelt and 501 00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:20,239 Speaker 9: foul mouth rant slash plea. Yes, I think people have 502 00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:22,520 Speaker 9: every right to feel insecure or inadequate. 503 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:25,280 Speaker 8: Yes, people have every right to act like an idiot. 504 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:28,400 Speaker 9: Yes, I have done stupid things due to my lack 505 00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:32,000 Speaker 9: of control over my emotions. And yes I'm weird or 506 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:35,440 Speaker 9: materialistic enough to love a jumper more than the woman 507 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:38,960 Speaker 9: I'm dating. But no, I don't think she deserves my 508 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:42,119 Speaker 9: forgiveness for this slip up. I bet that commentary was 509 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:43,280 Speaker 9: the girlfriend. 510 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, just the girlfriend in an incognito. 511 00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:46,679 Speaker 8: Yeah. 512 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:48,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's not the point. 513 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:51,040 Speaker 3: The point is that she'd like destroyed this thing out 514 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:52,840 Speaker 3: of jealousy and lied about it. 515 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:56,119 Speaker 2: Yeah, and probably knew what she was you know, I 516 00:21:56,160 --> 00:22:00,720 Speaker 2: assume she knew how expensive it was. Probably, And yeah, 517 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:02,840 Speaker 2: it's just whack. It's just a whack thing to do. 518 00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:07,520 Speaker 9: Whack thing to do and that is because it wasn't 519 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:10,239 Speaker 9: the insecurity, it wasn't the lack of control, and it 520 00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:12,880 Speaker 9: wasn't the materialism that made me want to break up. 521 00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:15,919 Speaker 9: It was the lying and deceitful manner in which she 522 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:21,280 Speaker 9: behaved afterwards. It was the insanely manipulative way in which 523 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:24,480 Speaker 9: she turned herself into the victim and demanded an apology 524 00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:29,000 Speaker 9: from me. And yeah, the cursing directed at me didn't help. 525 00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:32,399 Speaker 9: The story is fairly dramatic as well as anti climactic. 526 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:36,000 Speaker 9: Her curt behavior after my ill fated confrontation lasted for 527 00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:36,679 Speaker 9: two days. 528 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:40,119 Speaker 8: Then she called about forty times to beg me for forgiveness. 529 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,600 Speaker 9: Even though I avoided the calls, I did hear the 530 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,800 Speaker 9: voicemails and my empathy was piqued. She also pretty much 531 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:48,879 Speaker 9: admitted to her guilt in some of those messages. But 532 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:52,280 Speaker 9: then I also came to know that preceding those calls, 533 00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:55,720 Speaker 9: she had lashed out towards Hayley, my ex friend slash 534 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:58,760 Speaker 9: friends with benefits at their workplace, and that it was 535 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:02,320 Speaker 9: ugly as well as having potential to spiral negatively. 536 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:02,840 Speaker 7: For her career. 537 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:05,639 Speaker 8: That made me feel really bad for Haley. 538 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:07,959 Speaker 9: She didn't deserve to be dragged into drama that she 539 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,600 Speaker 9: played no active role in. There is a little bit 540 00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:13,439 Speaker 9: more into the story, but I think all of the 541 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:17,520 Speaker 9: behavior before he confronted her is something I would break 542 00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:18,600 Speaker 9: up over for sure. 543 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:19,320 Speaker 8: For sure. 544 00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:22,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just kind of like, oh, like I have 545 00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:26,320 Speaker 3: opened a little door, a little crack in the door 546 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:28,520 Speaker 3: of what's what I'm gonna be getting down. 547 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,320 Speaker 2: The line if we continue with this. 548 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:34,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, so you know, And I said, like, if she 549 00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:35,439 Speaker 3: would have just been. 550 00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:36,080 Speaker 2: Like, yeah, I did that. 551 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:38,879 Speaker 3: Yeah, I hate that sweater, and I hate that girl, 552 00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:40,920 Speaker 3: and I hate that you wear the sweater that girl 553 00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,560 Speaker 3: got you, yeah, I'd have been like. 554 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,600 Speaker 2: Well do I don't like that? 555 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:49,000 Speaker 3: But thanks for I guess telling me you did this. 556 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,479 Speaker 3: That's not it's not very cool. 557 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:55,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd still probably break up. Let's be honest, I'd 558 00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:56,479 Speaker 2: still break up with her. 559 00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:58,600 Speaker 8: But there is a little bit more into the story. 560 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:01,600 Speaker 9: The anti climactor is that I didn't even have to 561 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,399 Speaker 9: break up with Hannah. She has essentially moved in with 562 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:06,800 Speaker 9: her parents up north. She sent me a message through 563 00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:10,040 Speaker 9: a mutual acquaintance stating that she realizes she has quite 564 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,120 Speaker 9: a few issues she needs to handle from her breakup 565 00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:14,520 Speaker 9: with her ex fiance and that our decision to date 566 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:16,000 Speaker 9: was pretty much doomed from the start. 567 00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:19,400 Speaker 2: Okay, well we'll look at that. Yeah, she knows. 568 00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:21,600 Speaker 8: I wished her the best of luck with her journey. 569 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:25,679 Speaker 9: Another mutual acquaintance approached me, this time one between me 570 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,840 Speaker 9: and Haley. She said word apologizing for her role in 571 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:31,639 Speaker 9: my relationship meltown. I told her that there was nothing 572 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,240 Speaker 9: to apologize for on her end. I also asked for 573 00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:39,040 Speaker 9: her forgiveness for inadvertently causing workplace dramatics and that's that. 574 00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:40,760 Speaker 8: There are some relevant comments. 575 00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:42,680 Speaker 9: One person says, I looked at one of a Laura 576 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:44,639 Speaker 9: Piana charges for stuff. O. 577 00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:46,840 Speaker 8: Whoa, that's an expensive jumper. 578 00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,320 Speaker 9: I think therefore, I think says for anyone wondering why 579 00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:53,679 Speaker 9: it's so expensive. Still, some manufacturers are known for their 580 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:57,680 Speaker 9: regular use of Mongolian Kashmir, like Laura Piana quot Laura 581 00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:01,000 Speaker 9: Piana is one of the highest end Kashmir producers in 582 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:01,520 Speaker 9: the world. 583 00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:05,600 Speaker 8: Rush says. They have their own herds that they control. 584 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:08,400 Speaker 9: Oh wow, They're completely in charge of that environment, and 585 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:10,480 Speaker 9: the animals are being treated so well. 586 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:12,560 Speaker 8: The goats are really thriving. 587 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,879 Speaker 9: You can't just bring the goats to Italy, where a 588 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:17,480 Speaker 9: Laura Piana is based, because they won't produce the same 589 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:19,919 Speaker 9: kind of Cashmir as they do in Inner Mongolia. 590 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,760 Speaker 8: For the climate and environment is perfectly suitable for the 591 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,399 Speaker 8: best Kashmir. And that's the na as. 592 00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:29,040 Speaker 3: Sorry, my boyfriend exposed my mental condition to a party. 593 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:29,560 Speaker 2: Full of people. 594 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:30,920 Speaker 8: Hey, that's private. 595 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:34,919 Speaker 3: I twenty female, have a well controlled mental condition that 596 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,800 Speaker 3: I am very private about. I take two separate medications 597 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,400 Speaker 3: twice a day, every twelve hours, and for the most part, 598 00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:43,240 Speaker 3: it does not affect my daily life. Luckily, I have 599 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:45,879 Speaker 3: a fantastic doctor who worked with me to experiment with 600 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,760 Speaker 3: medications until I found a combination that worked for me 601 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:50,400 Speaker 3: with minimal side effects. 602 00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:52,760 Speaker 2: I'm just saying this to demonstrate. 603 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:54,880 Speaker 3: That this is not a significant issue in my life anymore, 604 00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:57,600 Speaker 3: and it is not necessary for many people to know. 605 00:25:57,840 --> 00:25:59,360 Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user. 606 00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:02,800 Speaker 3: I am It's not crazy okay, And if you want 607 00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:05,320 Speaker 3: to submit your stories, go to the r slash okay 608 00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:09,080 Speaker 3: storytime subreddit. I'm Dakota and I'm Anjie and I'm Blurry, 609 00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,919 Speaker 3: and we're here to give you good advice goofully, But 610 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,159 Speaker 3: we don't always have all the answers. We only know 611 00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:16,840 Speaker 3: what we would do, so if you would do something different, 612 00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:20,080 Speaker 3: let us know in the comments. As Op says, I 613 00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,680 Speaker 3: started dating my boyfriend, twenty three male, almost a year ago, 614 00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:27,520 Speaker 3: and he has been great, just a little dopey. He's 615 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:30,000 Speaker 3: not a subtle person and can't keep a secret to 616 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,439 Speaker 3: save his life. So even though I told him before 617 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:34,840 Speaker 3: we started dating that I have this condition that is 618 00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,359 Speaker 3: well controlled and I don't really like people to know 619 00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:40,600 Speaker 3: about it, he went ahead and told his parents. I 620 00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,040 Speaker 3: was pissed, but told him not to tell anyone else 621 00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:45,800 Speaker 3: and we got through it well. Last weekend, we went 622 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:49,440 Speaker 3: to one of his friend's parties and while they all 623 00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:52,280 Speaker 3: got wasted, us sipped on a soda. Many of his 624 00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:55,320 Speaker 3: friends were concerned that I wasn't drinking and kept saying 625 00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:56,880 Speaker 3: stuff like it's okay that. 626 00:26:56,880 --> 00:27:00,280 Speaker 5: You're underage, you could still have a bruski. 627 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:01,639 Speaker 2: Want me to make you a cocktail. 628 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:04,840 Speaker 3: I was starting to become uncomfortable with the comments when 629 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:08,640 Speaker 3: my boyfriend, in his infinite wisdom, decides to announce, oh, 630 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:12,240 Speaker 3: she's not drinking because it affects your medication. Okay, well 631 00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:15,000 Speaker 3: now I'm pretty pissed, but whatever, no one really mentioned 632 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:18,399 Speaker 3: it further. Well in a little later, my alarm goes 633 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:21,359 Speaker 3: off and my boyfriend, who was wasted by now literally 634 00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:23,679 Speaker 3: yells to me, Hey, beb Tom. 635 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:25,480 Speaker 2: And take your crazy pills. 636 00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:31,280 Speaker 9: Ohoh, two mistakes there, one making a public two call 637 00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:32,600 Speaker 9: them crazy bills. 638 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:36,000 Speaker 3: Ah yeah, just not really and none of that was 639 00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:37,119 Speaker 3: right at all. 640 00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:39,359 Speaker 2: That was all wrong. 641 00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:40,600 Speaker 7: Yeah. 642 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:43,159 Speaker 3: He turns to the other people and goes, yeah, she 643 00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:46,920 Speaker 3: has condition and has to take pills for it. 644 00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:49,720 Speaker 2: I just stared at him. I could not believe that 645 00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:50,639 Speaker 2: he would do this to me. 646 00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:52,879 Speaker 3: I just met some of these people, and now they 647 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:56,040 Speaker 3: all know something incredibly personal about me that is nobody's 648 00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:57,080 Speaker 3: dang business. 649 00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:00,200 Speaker 2: I hate hate the way people treat. 650 00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:02,960 Speaker 3: Me after they find out, like I'm unhinged or damaged 651 00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:05,840 Speaker 3: or something. I don't want anybody's pity. It's effing well 652 00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:09,200 Speaker 3: controlled for goodness sake. I grabbed his keys and went 653 00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,679 Speaker 3: to the car, and he followed me, asking what was wrong. 654 00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:15,760 Speaker 2: You know what's wrong, buddy, dude, you shouted to the 655 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:17,879 Speaker 2: whole party, she's taking crazy pills. 656 00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:19,240 Speaker 8: Yes, yes, come on. 657 00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:23,280 Speaker 3: Not not the way you address your girlf when who 658 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:27,240 Speaker 3: has mentuelt issues that are being well controlled by medication. 659 00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:29,879 Speaker 2: I didn't say anything. 660 00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:32,520 Speaker 3: I just drove us home and haven't really talked to 661 00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:35,360 Speaker 3: him since, even though he's been apologizing profusely. 662 00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:39,120 Speaker 2: Is this something I can even forgive him for? Should I? 663 00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:43,800 Speaker 3: What should I do here? Seriously, I'm so upset and angry. 664 00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:46,440 Speaker 3: He had no right at it. 665 00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:48,560 Speaker 2: We broke up. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. 666 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:51,560 Speaker 3: No one can really tell you what you should do 667 00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:53,760 Speaker 3: or what you are okay with forgiving. 668 00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:55,600 Speaker 2: But honestly, I would. 669 00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:58,440 Speaker 3: Just break up with that guy because why would you 670 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:01,560 Speaker 3: speak on me this way? Why why would you do 671 00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:05,840 Speaker 3: that other than a complete lack of respect or care 672 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:08,160 Speaker 3: or you just do think I'm crazy? 673 00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:11,560 Speaker 9: Yeah, absolutely, because it's like I could get forgetting about 674 00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:15,040 Speaker 9: it in a moment, like if you just didn't think 675 00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:16,520 Speaker 9: it was that big of a deal, Like if she 676 00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:18,680 Speaker 9: was just embarrassed about it and you were like, oh no, 677 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,400 Speaker 9: like everyone will be fine, and then you accidentally mention it. 678 00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:23,360 Speaker 8: I could get that mistake. 679 00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:26,440 Speaker 9: But like, that does not seem to be his thought 680 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:29,280 Speaker 9: process behind it, especially since he called him crazy pills. 681 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,760 Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, it's over. 682 00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:32,920 Speaker 8: It's over to you. 683 00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:37,280 Speaker 3: We've got some comments and Roe says, if my boyfriend 684 00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:40,200 Speaker 3: called out time to take her crazy pills at a party. 685 00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:43,400 Speaker 3: I'd probably dump him, hope. He replies, Yeah. That pissed 686 00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:45,200 Speaker 3: me off to no end. And then he pulled that 687 00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:47,960 Speaker 3: crap and literally told them the condition. And this is 688 00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:50,680 Speaker 3: like a well known condition that is pretty much automatically 689 00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:54,080 Speaker 3: associated with being crazy. Princess Programmer shows, Wow, that was 690 00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:57,280 Speaker 3: incredibly insensitive. I suffer from depression, but it's getting to 691 00:29:57,320 --> 00:30:00,400 Speaker 3: the point where that's not really taboo anymore. Imagine if 692 00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:02,760 Speaker 3: my boyfriend blurted out something super personal to a. 693 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:03,560 Speaker 2: Room full of people. 694 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:07,520 Speaker 3: Girl, you deserve better, Opie says, Yeah. I couldn't even 695 00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,160 Speaker 3: believe it. Like, we have been to parties before and 696 00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:13,800 Speaker 3: I have seen him enjoy the drink he poos before, 697 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:16,640 Speaker 3: and he didn't do anything like that. I think maybe 698 00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:19,320 Speaker 3: it was because some old friends of his were there, 699 00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:22,320 Speaker 3: and they were really how do I put this immature 700 00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:26,040 Speaker 3: and making really insensitive jokes, Like these guys were loud 701 00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:28,160 Speaker 3: and noisy, and I didn't like them at all. I 702 00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:31,600 Speaker 3: especially didn't like how my boyfriend was acting around them. 703 00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:33,920 Speaker 3: And there's an edit, not that this is an excuse. 704 00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:36,960 Speaker 3: What he did was so crappy. I'm so effing pissed 705 00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:39,800 Speaker 3: at him. REDMN seventeen says, yeah, that makes it worse. 706 00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:42,040 Speaker 3: So he turned into an a hole at your expense 707 00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,600 Speaker 3: just because he wanted to fit in with his ahle friends. 708 00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:47,480 Speaker 3: You are well shot of him, Opie says. I know 709 00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,120 Speaker 3: I was really bothered by his behavior. He knows I 710 00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:53,160 Speaker 3: get anxiety and loud environments too. Before we went, he 711 00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:56,320 Speaker 3: was like, don't worry everyone, there is super chill. Yeah right, 712 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:59,440 Speaker 3: Opie says. Sometimes he calls them my crazy pills at 713 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:01,440 Speaker 3: home and I just elbow him to shut up. But 714 00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:03,280 Speaker 3: to say something like that at a party where he 715 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:05,440 Speaker 3: knows that I don't like people to know about my 716 00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:08,360 Speaker 3: condition was beyond out of line. 717 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:11,320 Speaker 2: Not a real rabbit, which is exactly. 718 00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:13,000 Speaker 3: What a real rabbit would make their user name if 719 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,120 Speaker 3: they wanted you to not know they were a rabbit. 720 00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:16,760 Speaker 8: We see right through you. 721 00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:20,720 Speaker 3: They say, I'm glad you've cleared out, but I just 722 00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:23,280 Speaker 3: want to say, if it was bothering you even at home, 723 00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:24,040 Speaker 3: he should have. 724 00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:25,120 Speaker 2: Cut that right out. 725 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:32,920 Speaker 3: I think it was sort of like, ah, I if yeah, 726 00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:35,520 Speaker 3: it wasn't like a stop it. 727 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:38,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, don't do that if you want to talk about 728 00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:39,280 Speaker 2: them that way. 729 00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:41,480 Speaker 3: If you find it helpful, that's one thing, but it's 730 00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:43,920 Speaker 3: not something he gets to decide as hilarious and. 731 00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:44,760 Speaker 2: Impose on you. 732 00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:47,680 Speaker 3: OP says, Yeah, I'm gonna put a definite end to 733 00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:49,760 Speaker 3: that if it happens with the next guy. I have 734 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:51,920 Speaker 3: a sense of humor. I just don't have a sense 735 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:52,760 Speaker 3: of humor about that. 736 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:53,640 Speaker 2: Oh, I guess I was wrong. 737 00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:57,080 Speaker 3: There's an update from eleven days later. All right, I 738 00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:59,120 Speaker 3: bet you it's gonna be full of graveling. 739 00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:06,000 Speaker 2: And I don't know why you're so mad. Please hold 740 00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,600 Speaker 2: my hand and give me a hug and take me back. 741 00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:09,680 Speaker 2: I'm your boyfriend. 742 00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:09,920 Speaker 10: Now. 743 00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:12,520 Speaker 8: I think God's like word for word what we're about 744 00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:12,840 Speaker 8: to read. 745 00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:15,000 Speaker 2: Yeah. Update eleven days later. 746 00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:17,560 Speaker 3: Before I went back on Saturday to get my stuff, 747 00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:20,240 Speaker 3: I texted my ex to let him know and said 748 00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:22,160 Speaker 3: if he wanted to talk, that would be the time 749 00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:24,680 Speaker 3: to do it. He said okay, but when we got there, 750 00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:27,440 Speaker 3: he wasn't there. So we packed everything up and I 751 00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:29,920 Speaker 3: officially moved back home. He tried reaching out to me 752 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,040 Speaker 3: via text a couple times, but I told him I 753 00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:33,000 Speaker 3: was really hurt. 754 00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:34,240 Speaker 2: He decided not to be there. 755 00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:36,520 Speaker 3: I guess I still kind of wanted to salvage things, 756 00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:38,720 Speaker 3: and that I had nothing more to say to him. 757 00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:42,680 Speaker 3: I blocked him to resist temptation. Now the exciting part 758 00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:45,560 Speaker 3: of the update. I had gotten a Facebook request from 759 00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:48,000 Speaker 3: one of our mutual friends who was also at the party. 760 00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:51,000 Speaker 3: She told me that she thought my ex was a 761 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:53,520 Speaker 3: butt for what he did, and told me that she 762 00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:57,160 Speaker 3: had GAD and would un alive her boyfriend, who was 763 00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:59,920 Speaker 3: also there, if he was ever to pull something like that. 764 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,480 Speaker 3: We had a long and nice conversation and she invited 765 00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:05,440 Speaker 3: me out to the movies with her boyfriend and his brother. 766 00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:08,480 Speaker 3: And there is some more story left here. 767 00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:12,360 Speaker 2: Good job on the blocking. We recognized we would be tempted. 768 00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:15,200 Speaker 3: Good job on the blocking. We got the block in there. 769 00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:19,440 Speaker 3: What a little baby boy not being there, he said, 770 00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:19,920 Speaker 3: he would be. 771 00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:22,600 Speaker 2: Job's afraid. Good job afraid of you. 772 00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:25,320 Speaker 8: I was very smart of you to do, and I'm 773 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:26,040 Speaker 8: glad you did it. 774 00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:32,000 Speaker 3: Yes, job, and yes, Whitney Anderson. GAD is generalized anxiety disorder. 775 00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,760 Speaker 3: I believe for general general or generalized, I don't know. 776 00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:36,920 Speaker 8: But that is either way pretty much. 777 00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:39,360 Speaker 2: That is okay, let's finish this story. 778 00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:42,560 Speaker 3: I went to the movies and guess what his brother 779 00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:46,000 Speaker 3: and I totally hit it off. He's pretty shy and 780 00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:48,640 Speaker 3: I didn't realize it then, but I guess they were 781 00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:49,800 Speaker 3: trying to hook us up. 782 00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:50,360 Speaker 2: Anyway. 783 00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:52,120 Speaker 3: I'm not sure how I feel about dating a guy 784 00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:54,920 Speaker 3: younger than me. He's nineteen and turns twenty in December, 785 00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:57,680 Speaker 3: but who knows. It hasn't been long since we broke up, though, 786 00:33:57,760 --> 00:34:00,240 Speaker 3: so if we do get together, it probably won't be soon. 787 00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:02,840 Speaker 3: But as of now, I have a coffee slash study 788 00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:04,280 Speaker 3: date with him next Friday. 789 00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:05,760 Speaker 2: Smiley face. 790 00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:10,280 Speaker 3: Okay, thank you for everyone who commented on my original post. 791 00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:12,680 Speaker 3: You may not have known it, but everyone sharing your 792 00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:15,440 Speaker 3: stories really helped me and kept me strong when I 793 00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:18,160 Speaker 3: wanted to text him every night. And there are some 794 00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:21,240 Speaker 3: more comments here. Comment one is the update is hilarious. 795 00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:22,799 Speaker 3: I don't know how to feel about dating a guy 796 00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:26,000 Speaker 3: younger than me. He's nineteen almost twenty. Girl, you're twenty. 797 00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:28,480 Speaker 3: It's not like you're out of college. It's literally the 798 00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:30,600 Speaker 3: same with my husband. I'm eight months older than him. 799 00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:34,200 Speaker 3: There's literally nothing different except for me being a cougar 800 00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:35,520 Speaker 3: for eight months out of the year. 801 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:38,919 Speaker 2: Jokes. Comment two. I feel this. I have schizophrenia since 802 00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:40,520 Speaker 2: I was about seventeen. I'm thirty nine. 803 00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:43,760 Speaker 3: Now I'm very well medicated and live a perfectly normal life. 804 00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:45,440 Speaker 2: You'd never know if I didn't tell you. 805 00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:49,800 Speaker 3: When I was younger, I would have evaporated if someone 806 00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:51,560 Speaker 3: told a whole room. 807 00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:54,520 Speaker 2: But now I'm nearly forty and I just own it. 808 00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:57,560 Speaker 3: I don't go out shouting it, but if it comes up, 809 00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:00,280 Speaker 3: I'll say it. It's mostly when people are to talking 810 00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:04,759 Speaker 3: about bad stereotypes and I'm like, actually, I feel for 811 00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:06,640 Speaker 3: this last and I hope she can learn to own 812 00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:09,200 Speaker 3: it and not feel embarrassed for having a condition you 813 00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:12,080 Speaker 3: can't control. Like I told my nibblings when they asked 814 00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:15,799 Speaker 3: about my meds, Auntie's brain is just wired differently. A 815 00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:18,040 Speaker 3: lot of people saw it's nothing to be ashamed of. 816 00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:18,720 Speaker 8: It's true. 817 00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:19,399 Speaker 7: Right. 818 00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:22,279 Speaker 3: Comment three says, I take prescribe medication twice a day 819 00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:25,040 Speaker 3: to stop my brain from going overdrive. My wife basically 820 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:26,720 Speaker 3: forced me to go to the doctor for it because 821 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:29,919 Speaker 3: I was passing out for getting really angry. It has 822 00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:32,720 Speaker 3: helped me so much, and she has never told anyone 823 00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:34,799 Speaker 3: about it, no matter how annoyed she may get with me, 824 00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:38,520 Speaker 3: because she knows something should remain personal. I could never 825 00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:41,680 Speaker 3: imagine her betraying my trust like that. Meanwhile, this guy 826 00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:44,040 Speaker 3: thinks it's funny to do it and then acts oblivious. 827 00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:48,439 Speaker 2: Wasted people speak sober thoughts, and that is the end 828 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:50,000 Speaker 2: of that story. 829 00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:52,960 Speaker 3: Hey, John Ogi host, We're gonna get back to the stories, 830 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:54,960 Speaker 3: but a quick free minute break of ads from our sponsors. 831 00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:58,400 Speaker 3: My boyfriend wants to watch a twitch streamer while we 832 00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:02,120 Speaker 3: get Spassic. He's got to get those twitch drops. I, 833 00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:05,680 Speaker 3: twenty nine female, knew he was into video games when 834 00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:08,960 Speaker 3: I started dating my boyfriend, twenty eight male. I'm basically 835 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:12,240 Speaker 3: the opposite of him in that department. I have never 836 00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:15,280 Speaker 3: been interested in anything video game related. 837 00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:19,640 Speaker 2: That entire nerd culture is not for me. Well wow, 838 00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:21,880 Speaker 2: mind you. 839 00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:24,880 Speaker 3: I have made an effort to understand his hobby, and 840 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:28,480 Speaker 3: over the years, I've even found games I enjoy playing, 841 00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,120 Speaker 3: but I would definitely not consider gaming to be a 842 00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:34,120 Speaker 3: hobby of mine. I'll play rhythm games like once a 843 00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:37,440 Speaker 3: week for an hour at most, for example. And by 844 00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:41,040 Speaker 3: the way, this comes from user twitch ovencorn. And we're 845 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,239 Speaker 3: here to give you good advice, goofly, But we don't 846 00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:44,839 Speaker 3: have all the answers. We only know what we do. 847 00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:48,440 Speaker 3: So if you do something different. There's no in the comments. 848 00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:51,719 Speaker 3: In the beginning of the relationship, the first couple of 849 00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:54,320 Speaker 3: years or so, it was pretty difficult getting through to him. 850 00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:57,240 Speaker 2: Because he was constantly on World of Warcraft. 851 00:36:57,360 --> 00:37:00,000 Speaker 3: We had to set boundaries later on because I found 852 00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:02,200 Speaker 3: he wasn't making any time for me, and he was 853 00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:06,240 Speaker 3: constantly on Twitch, either watching or streaming himself or playing 854 00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:09,040 Speaker 3: wow er lol or whatever else. 855 00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:11,520 Speaker 2: It got pretty bad, but we worked through it. 856 00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:14,160 Speaker 3: His obsession with Twitch kind of dwindled down, and we 857 00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:17,080 Speaker 3: were both seemingly happy. However, and I feel a little 858 00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:21,239 Speaker 3: dirty even riding this. I feel worthless and absolutely disgusting 859 00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:24,200 Speaker 3: and unwanted. Please don't judge me too harshly. One night 860 00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:26,880 Speaker 3: before BET, as I was getting ready to lay down, 861 00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:29,319 Speaker 3: he was watching a stream on his tablet of some 862 00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:31,440 Speaker 3: famous Twitch female streamer. 863 00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:33,319 Speaker 2: I happened to glance over and she was. 864 00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:38,560 Speaker 3: Pretty scantily clad, with big nerd glasses and a front 865 00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:40,080 Speaker 3: bazongas hanging out. 866 00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:43,360 Speaker 2: I thought, Oh, whatever, it's just him watching a game. 867 00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:46,040 Speaker 3: This went on for a few nights in a row. 868 00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:48,880 Speaker 3: Each time it was a different girl. He'd watch for 869 00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:50,960 Speaker 3: a bit, turn it off, and immediately want to have 870 00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:55,759 Speaker 3: spascist sleep and I've secretly felt horrible about it, but 871 00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:58,680 Speaker 3: I guess last night kind of broke the camel's back. 872 00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:00,759 Speaker 3: He set up a stream to Sart coming on to 873 00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:03,319 Speaker 3: me in bed and left his tablet propped up on 874 00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:05,880 Speaker 3: the night table. I was going along with his advances, 875 00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:08,600 Speaker 3: but attempted to close the tablet when he told me, no, no, 876 00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:11,080 Speaker 3: leave it on. I want to watch who while I 877 00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:14,360 Speaker 3: do it. I was pretty much in shock. Didn't know 878 00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:16,919 Speaker 3: how to respond. I started crying and left for the night. 879 00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,720 Speaker 3: He didn't even really attempt to stop me. I got 880 00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:23,040 Speaker 3: a very pathetic sorry as I was leaving. Thankfully, my 881 00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:25,600 Speaker 3: parents live like five minutes away, so I spent the 882 00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,480 Speaker 3: night there. Since I left, he's attempted to call me 883 00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:30,360 Speaker 3: and has texted me twice. 884 00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:35,440 Speaker 2: One text was to tell me I'm overreacting. Am I No? 885 00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:35,640 Speaker 1: No? 886 00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:38,680 Speaker 10: The second that, it was like every night he watches 887 00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:42,320 Speaker 10: these girls on Twitch and then immediately goes, okay, I'm 888 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:46,120 Speaker 10: ready for you now. I'd be like, nah, we're fixing this. 889 00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:49,200 Speaker 2: How do I approach this? I thought we were over it. 890 00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:51,320 Speaker 3: I thought we had a decent relationship, but he clearly 891 00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:54,040 Speaker 3: prefers watching women play video games. Over just having a 892 00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:56,719 Speaker 3: spice to sleep with me. Do I approach him or 893 00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:59,760 Speaker 3: wait for him to approach me? I was getting these comments, 894 00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:03,840 Speaker 3: T Bow, You're not worthless or disgusting. What your boyfriend 895 00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:07,120 Speaker 3: did was extremely disrespectful, and you are right to be upset. 896 00:39:07,239 --> 00:39:10,960 Speaker 3: Watching scantily clad girls is one thing. Plenty of people 897 00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:14,439 Speaker 3: like to watch that or other similar things. What he's 898 00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:17,040 Speaker 3: doing is basically using your body while he thinks. 899 00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:20,520 Speaker 2: Of other people, which is pretty gross. Be fermi Hill boundaries. 900 00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:23,160 Speaker 3: If he still brushes it off, then you should probably 901 00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:26,440 Speaker 3: get a better boyfriend, hope. He replies, yeah, which is 902 00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:29,759 Speaker 3: why I feel like absolute crap. I don't think he 903 00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:32,040 Speaker 3: realizes this, and to me, it seems like he sees 904 00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:33,160 Speaker 3: nothing wrong with what he did. 905 00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:34,359 Speaker 2: He has accused me. 906 00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:37,920 Speaker 3: Of overreacting and has basically said that other guys probably 907 00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:40,400 Speaker 3: do it, so it's fine. He has hinted at his 908 00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:44,759 Speaker 3: one handed habits regarding this Twitch content before. Do men 909 00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:48,800 Speaker 3: actively do this to women playing video games? That seems 910 00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:49,360 Speaker 3: odd to me. 911 00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:51,640 Speaker 2: I don't know. I just feel used in dirty. 912 00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:54,120 Speaker 3: What's really crazy is that he didn't even have enough 913 00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:56,440 Speaker 3: respect to bring it up, like, of course my girlfriend 914 00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:59,600 Speaker 3: won't mind being f while I look at another women 915 00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:02,360 Speaker 3: on my can. I think it's pretty obvious that the 916 00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:04,719 Speaker 3: second he gets one of these female gamers to show 917 00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:07,000 Speaker 3: a bit of interest in him, he's out the door. 918 00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:11,200 Speaker 3: Iff aka Levi says, right, he even said I want 919 00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:14,120 Speaker 3: to watch her while I do you. Basically, I don't 920 00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:16,320 Speaker 3: even want to acknowledge that it's you that I'm having 921 00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:17,359 Speaker 3: this spose sleep with. 922 00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:18,600 Speaker 2: I want to pretend it's her. 923 00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:22,360 Speaker 3: The audacity is astounding. He's lucky that crying was the 924 00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:25,640 Speaker 3: extent of her reaction. There's an update the next day. 925 00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:29,200 Speaker 3: Last night, I decided to get together for coffee with him, 926 00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:32,359 Speaker 3: mostly because my mother urged me to. I never told 927 00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:35,319 Speaker 3: her the extent of what exactly happened, but she knows 928 00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:38,520 Speaker 3: it's video game related because we've gone over this problem 929 00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:42,440 Speaker 3: before in the past. Anyway, I initiated the conversation via text, 930 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:44,560 Speaker 3: and he agreed to meet me. I guess I don't 931 00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:47,279 Speaker 3: know what I was expecting closure, Maybe because I was 932 00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:49,680 Speaker 3: pretty sure I wanted to end it and stop trying 933 00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:52,919 Speaker 3: to work things out. Because I've been working things out 934 00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:58,640 Speaker 3: for the past five years. It's just become exhausting. He 935 00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:01,600 Speaker 3: got into defense mode right away, basically listing all the 936 00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:04,440 Speaker 3: things I've done wrong in the relationship and why he's 937 00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:05,640 Speaker 3: over me. 938 00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:08,480 Speaker 8: The baby you wouldn't let me watch my twitch girl. 939 00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:13,000 Speaker 2: He's like, actually, no, you're not firing me. I quit. No, 940 00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:15,760 Speaker 2: actually you did all the wrong stuff. 941 00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:18,719 Speaker 3: And first one on the list not letting me look 942 00:41:18,719 --> 00:41:21,200 Speaker 3: at other girls while we do the Bang bang. According 943 00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:24,000 Speaker 3: to him, here's the things I've done wrong. I declined 944 00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:27,000 Speaker 3: going to Korea last year for vacation. He so badly 945 00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:29,840 Speaker 3: wanted to go. I knew if I went, I'd be 946 00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:32,719 Speaker 3: left alone every day because his buddy would also have 947 00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:35,960 Speaker 3: come to again. Also, there was a big League of 948 00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:37,680 Speaker 3: Legends tournament happening at the time. 949 00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:39,359 Speaker 8: Say where's the video game time? 950 00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:42,200 Speaker 2: I was going to say, I was already left Korea. 951 00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:44,680 Speaker 6: He's gonna be like Doda Legal Legends. 952 00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:48,320 Speaker 2: I'm in the worst games of all time. 953 00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:50,920 Speaker 3: So he would have been doing League of Legends related 954 00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:54,880 Speaker 3: things and mentally one hand clapping to the cosplayers all 955 00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:57,080 Speaker 3: the time while I explored the city alone or hung 956 00:41:57,080 --> 00:41:59,520 Speaker 3: out in a hotel. I said I wasn't interested in going. 957 00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:02,800 Speaker 3: He got but eventually got over it, or so I thought. 958 00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:05,719 Speaker 3: I changed my appearance even though I knew he liked 959 00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:08,319 Speaker 3: women with long brown hair. I decided to cut my 960 00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:10,879 Speaker 3: hair fairly short and bleached blonde not too long ago. 961 00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:13,879 Speaker 3: It was time for a change anyway, and I'm very 962 00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:16,319 Speaker 3: happy with how it turned out, and he was not. 963 00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:20,920 Speaker 3: I always refused to wear revealing clothing. He'd constantly badger 964 00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,320 Speaker 3: me about how I don't wear enough stuff that shows 965 00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:26,680 Speaker 3: off my front, air bags and my legs. I'm fairly modest, 966 00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:28,600 Speaker 3: so I'm not into that kind of stuff. I'm more 967 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:31,120 Speaker 3: comfortable in a T shirt and jeans. He'd want me 968 00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:33,600 Speaker 3: to wear sun dresses and plunging tank tops, and I 969 00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:37,040 Speaker 3: always said no. My birthday gift this year was a 970 00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:40,319 Speaker 3: pair of those giant wrap around headphones headgear. 971 00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:42,280 Speaker 2: I don't know what they're called. 972 00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:44,560 Speaker 3: All the twitch streamers are wearing them, but he spent 973 00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:46,080 Speaker 3: a fairly good amount of money on them. 974 00:42:48,719 --> 00:42:50,120 Speaker 6: They probably have the cat us. 975 00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:52,920 Speaker 2: It's like, Babe, I got you a give for your birthday. 976 00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:53,640 Speaker 2: It's really for me. 977 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:55,960 Speaker 3: I hope you enjoy this thing you'll never use, and 978 00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:57,200 Speaker 3: since you weren't gonna use it. 979 00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:58,080 Speaker 7: I cannot borrow it. 980 00:42:58,160 --> 00:42:58,600 Speaker 2: He's spent a. 981 00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:00,880 Speaker 3: Fairly good amount of money on them, which I guess 982 00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:03,520 Speaker 3: but I had originally complained that my old headphones suck 983 00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:03,879 Speaker 3: and I. 984 00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:05,440 Speaker 2: Needed new ones for the gym. 985 00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:08,720 Speaker 3: Oh he got me these bulky ones and got upset 986 00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:10,799 Speaker 3: that I don't wear them much. He's asked me in 987 00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:12,719 Speaker 3: the past to wear them and put my hair in 988 00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:15,879 Speaker 3: pigtails and wear revealing clothing around the house while wearing 989 00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:19,600 Speaker 3: my glasses. I'm not even kidding. This guy's a major stereotype. 990 00:43:20,239 --> 00:43:22,400 Speaker 3: I didn't play a League of Legends, and I didn't 991 00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:26,319 Speaker 3: enjoy sitting on the couch watching him play hours of it. 992 00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:28,319 Speaker 3: I don't know how to play the game. I tried 993 00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:29,240 Speaker 3: numerous times. 994 00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:30,000 Speaker 2: I suck. 995 00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:32,640 Speaker 3: I didn't enjoy myself. Why would I keep at it? 996 00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:35,759 Speaker 3: And I was not open minded about anything. This is 997 00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:38,920 Speaker 3: pertaining to the situation in the original post. I'm not 998 00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:42,239 Speaker 3: open minded enough about being his little fun time, so 999 00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:43,520 Speaker 3: this hurt his feelings too. 1000 00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:45,040 Speaker 2: I am not accepting of. 1001 00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:48,320 Speaker 3: His spicy hobbies, which is a total effing lie, because 1002 00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:50,440 Speaker 3: I've agreed to do some pretty out there stuff in 1003 00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:51,640 Speaker 3: the past to appease him. 1004 00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:54,000 Speaker 2: I'm very open minded about the spicy sleep. 1005 00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:57,120 Speaker 3: I would have appreciated a forewarning about the twitch girl 1006 00:43:57,320 --> 00:43:59,640 Speaker 3: joining us, though I don't get along with his friends. 1007 00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:01,600 Speaker 2: I tried to so hard. 1008 00:44:01,719 --> 00:44:04,280 Speaker 3: I tried to relate to those guys like you wouldn't believe, 1009 00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:07,760 Speaker 3: but they all literally have zero social skills. They're awkward 1010 00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:10,759 Speaker 3: and blatantly ignored my existence whenever I was around it, 1011 00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:14,880 Speaker 3: started talking about things they're interested in and just disregard 1012 00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:18,000 Speaker 3: anything I ever said. It'd invite him to board game nights, 1013 00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:21,160 Speaker 3: asking if I'd be going to like, they don't want 1014 00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:23,600 Speaker 3: me there. I was pretty much an outcast, so no, 1015 00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:25,960 Speaker 3: I tried. They just didn't want to be around me. 1016 00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:27,279 Speaker 2: And we have a. 1017 00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:30,640 Speaker 3: Little bit more story left for you'd be around before 1018 00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:34,080 Speaker 3: we ask one of you out there for your thoughts 1019 00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:36,759 Speaker 3: and opinions on this situation, or if you've been through 1020 00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:37,640 Speaker 3: one yourself. 1021 00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:39,520 Speaker 2: But what do we say we should do here? 1022 00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:42,160 Speaker 8: Carly break up with this man? 1023 00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:45,120 Speaker 2: No way, It's. 1024 00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:47,440 Speaker 3: Time for us to go at classes to learn how 1025 00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:48,720 Speaker 3: to be better at League of Legends. 1026 00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:52,040 Speaker 6: I was gonna say, op, get really good at Legal Legends. 1027 00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:54,880 Speaker 3: So in conclusion, I told him I was done. He 1028 00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:58,080 Speaker 3: didn't really react dramatically. I think he's done with the 1029 00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:01,520 Speaker 3: relationship too. He can watch all the streamers he wants 1030 00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:04,239 Speaker 3: now and play League legends for twenty three hours of 1031 00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:07,399 Speaker 3: the day. That must be quite a relief. I'm going 1032 00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:09,680 Speaker 3: to the apartment to pick up whatever I can later. 1033 00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:12,600 Speaker 3: I'm staying with my parents until I find a new place. 1034 00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:15,439 Speaker 3: I feel oddly calm and okay with everything that's gone 1035 00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:17,880 Speaker 3: down in these last couple of days. This is almost 1036 00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:20,920 Speaker 3: a relief. Thanks everyone, It should be a relief. 1037 00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:22,040 Speaker 8: Let's see what the comments are. 1038 00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:23,040 Speaker 7: We'll say about that. 1039 00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:25,480 Speaker 2: Darth Kaine says, are you kidding? 1040 00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:28,080 Speaker 3: I play video games and I want to punt the 1041 00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:30,919 Speaker 3: crap out of him if you ever talk to him again, 1042 00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:33,600 Speaker 3: tell him. Some looney on the internet says you're the 1043 00:45:33,719 --> 00:45:36,080 Speaker 3: reason women don't like gamers. 1044 00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:42,040 Speaker 2: A and then zork eld scorkin that woosh sound. That 1045 00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:44,520 Speaker 2: was the bullet you dodged. He's twenty eight. 1046 00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:49,680 Speaker 3: Hey, no, you're so much better off without him. Wow, 1047 00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:50,840 Speaker 3: you're done. You're gone. 1048 00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:53,080 Speaker 2: Maybe should have been gone a little earlier. 1049 00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:55,880 Speaker 10: It's okay, but sometimes you take a little while to 1050 00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:57,560 Speaker 10: realize the craziness. 1051 00:45:57,920 --> 00:46:00,320 Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. Let's to the 1052 00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:01,520 Speaker 2: next one. 1053 00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:05,280 Speaker 10: My girlfriend lied about inviting her ex to her home 1054 00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:06,640 Speaker 10: while I was away. 1055 00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:10,440 Speaker 3: It better be to give us a million dollars and 1056 00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:11,560 Speaker 3: a surprise party. 1057 00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:15,600 Speaker 10: Me thirty five male, and my girlfriend Sarah thirty five female, 1058 00:46:15,719 --> 00:46:17,880 Speaker 10: have been together for four years. 1059 00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:18,919 Speaker 8: She has a. 1060 00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:24,239 Speaker 10: Son, Nathan, nine male, with her ex, Mark thirty six male. 1061 00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:27,799 Speaker 10: Sarah has full custody of Nathan, with her ex, having 1062 00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:32,080 Speaker 10: scheduled visitations one weekend of every month. Sarah and Nathan 1063 00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:34,360 Speaker 10: moved in with me a little over a year and 1064 00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:38,120 Speaker 10: a half ago, and in my perspective, it was a 1065 00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:40,839 Speaker 10: little rocky at first. By the way, this comes from 1066 00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:45,400 Speaker 10: additional door thirty two O six and I'm Carly, I'm Dakota, 1067 00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:48,800 Speaker 10: and I'm Keon, and we're here to give good advice goofully, 1068 00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:52,000 Speaker 10: but we don't have all the answers. We only know 1069 00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:54,279 Speaker 10: what we would do, So let us know what you 1070 00:46:54,320 --> 00:46:57,480 Speaker 10: would do in the comments. I've always been pretty protective 1071 00:46:57,560 --> 00:47:01,320 Speaker 10: of my space, so making room for two other people 1072 00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:04,040 Speaker 10: was difficult for me. When Sarah moved in with me, 1073 00:47:04,239 --> 00:47:07,799 Speaker 10: we agreed that the visitations for Mark would be held 1074 00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:11,319 Speaker 10: in our apartment as long as I'm home. The main 1075 00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:14,399 Speaker 10: reason I wanted this is because I don't know Mark 1076 00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:17,359 Speaker 10: that well and I don't want him wandering around our. 1077 00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:18,320 Speaker 8: Apartment without me. 1078 00:47:18,440 --> 00:47:18,680 Speaker 6: There. 1079 00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:21,640 Speaker 10: When we proposed this idea to Mark, he was fine 1080 00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:24,680 Speaker 10: with it. Now, moving on to the real issue. Three 1081 00:47:24,719 --> 00:47:29,200 Speaker 10: weeks ago marked four months since Mark's last visit, So 1082 00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:32,320 Speaker 10: I had asked Sarah when he was planning on visiting Nathan. 1083 00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:35,920 Speaker 10: My girlfriend replied by shrugging her shoulders and telling me 1084 00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:38,160 Speaker 10: she'd ask She never followed. 1085 00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:38,279 Speaker 7: Up with it. 1086 00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:41,759 Speaker 10: So a few days ago I asked when Mark's next 1087 00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:45,160 Speaker 10: visit was, and Sarah said she'd tell me when she knew. 1088 00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:48,360 Speaker 10: Nathan was in the living room but had apparently overheard 1089 00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:51,920 Speaker 10: us and shouted something along the lines of dad was 1090 00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:56,239 Speaker 10: here last weekend. Remember, Sarah's face immediately dropped, and when 1091 00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:58,719 Speaker 10: I asked what Nathan meant, she wouldn't give me a 1092 00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:02,120 Speaker 10: direct answer. Eventually, she ended up telling me that for 1093 00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:05,680 Speaker 10: the past two visits, Mark had been to our apartment 1094 00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:09,080 Speaker 10: while I was working. When I accused her of going 1095 00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:11,680 Speaker 10: back on our agreement, she kept telling me this was 1096 00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:14,960 Speaker 10: her home too, and she could invite whoever she wanted, 1097 00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:18,400 Speaker 10: and that it was fine because she was here and watching. 1098 00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:21,239 Speaker 10: I told her that was besides the point, and she 1099 00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:22,720 Speaker 10: violated my trust. 1100 00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:23,640 Speaker 8: It blew up. 1101 00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:26,640 Speaker 10: Into a huge argument which ended in me telling her 1102 00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:29,160 Speaker 10: to get out of my apartment. She packed up and 1103 00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:32,400 Speaker 10: left with Nathan. Last I heard, she was staying with 1104 00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:36,200 Speaker 10: her parents. I've gotten several messages from both Sarah and 1105 00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:39,759 Speaker 10: her parents calling me an a hole for Sarah and 1106 00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:43,200 Speaker 10: Nathan out of their home for something so small. She's 1107 00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:46,879 Speaker 10: even been blasting me on Instagram and Facebook about how 1108 00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:48,759 Speaker 10: horrible I am to do this to her. 1109 00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:50,440 Speaker 2: Why didn't you just say something? 1110 00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:53,840 Speaker 3: Why didn't you just say, Hey, Mark's coming by to 1111 00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:56,879 Speaker 3: visit Nathan. He's gonna be there while you're at work. 1112 00:48:57,239 --> 00:48:59,360 Speaker 3: That's like, it's what's gonna happen. 1113 00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:02,040 Speaker 10: It's the only rule, though, Why can't you just maintain 1114 00:49:02,160 --> 00:49:05,400 Speaker 10: the one thing that you all mutually agreed on. I 1115 00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:07,040 Speaker 10: don't know if you're gonna go and just change the 1116 00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:08,680 Speaker 10: agreement and then lie about it. 1117 00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:10,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, you at least just gotta like bring it up. 1118 00:49:10,719 --> 00:49:12,920 Speaker 2: I don't know. It feels like it feels like. 1119 00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:14,879 Speaker 3: It's coming from a little bit of a place of 1120 00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:18,440 Speaker 3: like me, like insecurity from op side. 1121 00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:20,440 Speaker 8: But like he likes space. 1122 00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:23,759 Speaker 10: But I feel like after everybody completely agrees, then the 1123 00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:25,719 Speaker 10: only way to change that again is for someone to 1124 00:49:25,719 --> 00:49:27,319 Speaker 10: come up and be like, hey, we were wondering if 1125 00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:29,560 Speaker 10: we could change this, and like, I don't know give 1126 00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:32,600 Speaker 10: any reason why. Maybe one of them was uncomfortable, but like. 1127 00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:33,840 Speaker 8: I'd be, I'd be upset. 1128 00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:35,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, you gotta talk about it. 1129 00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:37,239 Speaker 10: It's got me thinking I might be the A hole, 1130 00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:39,040 Speaker 10: but I'm not entirely sure yet. 1131 00:49:39,360 --> 00:49:40,600 Speaker 8: So am I the A hole? 1132 00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:43,880 Speaker 10: Edit to add I can see why it's important, but 1133 00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:47,160 Speaker 10: the core order was instructed because of Mark having a 1134 00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:50,560 Speaker 10: criminal record. I'm not sure what it's for, as Sarah 1135 00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:53,440 Speaker 10: has never directly told me, and I didn't want to 1136 00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:56,160 Speaker 10: push her to tell me. Judgment not the a whole 1137 00:49:56,320 --> 00:49:59,440 Speaker 10: more info from the comments. The reason the visitations are 1138 00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:03,319 Speaker 10: scheduled with Sarah or a police officer is because of 1139 00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:06,680 Speaker 10: Mark's record. I wasn't told specifics, but when Sarah and 1140 00:50:06,719 --> 00:50:10,400 Speaker 10: I were going over the visitations last year, Sarah. 1141 00:50:10,120 --> 00:50:11,720 Speaker 8: Brought it up fairly briefly. 1142 00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,680 Speaker 10: I always wondered what it was, but I didn't want 1143 00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:16,880 Speaker 10: to push my girlfriend to talk about it. If she 1144 00:50:16,960 --> 00:50:19,600 Speaker 10: didn't want to, she couldn't tell me to leave. My 1145 00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:22,479 Speaker 10: name is the only one on the lease. I only 1146 00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:25,359 Speaker 10: call it our apartment because that's what it was. We 1147 00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:28,960 Speaker 10: were all living there, but legally mine was the only 1148 00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:32,080 Speaker 10: one on the lease and had been for years. As 1149 00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:34,880 Speaker 10: for traumatic for Nathan, he was pretty happy that he 1150 00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:37,800 Speaker 10: was going to see his grandparents, though I'm not entirely 1151 00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:40,520 Speaker 10: sure he realized they wouldn't be back. I work a 1152 00:50:40,600 --> 00:50:43,760 Speaker 10: job that requires me to fly out twice a month 1153 00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:46,279 Speaker 10: for a few days. Most of the time these land 1154 00:50:46,360 --> 00:50:50,000 Speaker 10: during the weekdays, but unfortunately the last few have been 1155 00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:53,239 Speaker 10: during weekends. My work trips are not scheduled by me 1156 00:50:53,719 --> 00:50:56,080 Speaker 10: to keep it simple. At the start of the month one, 1157 00:50:56,480 --> 00:50:58,560 Speaker 10: my boss will send me an email telling me what 1158 00:50:58,719 --> 00:51:02,400 Speaker 10: days I'll be scheduled and where. Recently, however, it's mainly 1159 00:51:02,440 --> 00:51:05,520 Speaker 10: been on weekends rather than during the weekdays. At the 1160 00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:08,040 Speaker 10: start of month one, i'd let my girlfriend know when 1161 00:51:08,040 --> 00:51:10,239 Speaker 10: I was working so we could figure out when Mark 1162 00:51:10,239 --> 00:51:13,200 Speaker 10: would come over. The last two trips only took up 1163 00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:17,640 Speaker 10: two weekends and left six available. We have some top comments. 1164 00:51:17,760 --> 00:51:21,560 Speaker 10: Busy Temperature eighty nine thirty nine a downvoted comment. 1165 00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:24,000 Speaker 8: You're the a hole and I will tell you why. 1166 00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:26,799 Speaker 10: You are living with a woman I assume you care 1167 00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:30,000 Speaker 10: about and trust, Yet you say her ex can't come 1168 00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:32,239 Speaker 10: pick up their child at your share at home? Does 1169 00:51:32,239 --> 00:51:34,359 Speaker 10: that mean that nobody can come visit her when you're 1170 00:51:34,360 --> 00:51:34,759 Speaker 10: not home. 1171 00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:35,040 Speaker 8: Ill. 1172 00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:37,440 Speaker 2: First of all, that's not what happened. 1173 00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:38,719 Speaker 8: It wasn't just a pick up. 1174 00:51:38,719 --> 00:51:40,799 Speaker 2: He didn't pick him up, He just came over and. 1175 00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:41,439 Speaker 8: Hung out there. 1176 00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:43,640 Speaker 10: Yeah, what if her son has a friend come over 1177 00:51:43,680 --> 00:51:46,839 Speaker 10: to play. Technically it's her home as well. The fact 1178 00:51:46,880 --> 00:51:49,880 Speaker 10: that you threw her and her kid out is just horrible. 1179 00:51:50,320 --> 00:51:53,640 Speaker 10: You should be ashamed of yourself, and Opie responds. According 1180 00:51:53,680 --> 00:51:56,280 Speaker 10: to the court order, Mark is allowed to take Nathan 1181 00:51:56,360 --> 00:52:01,040 Speaker 10: out during his specified weekend as long as Sarah accompanies them. 1182 00:52:01,280 --> 00:52:04,359 Speaker 10: Of course Sarah can invite other people over when I'm 1183 00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:09,000 Speaker 10: not there, but I don't trust Mark deleted another downvoted comment, 1184 00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:11,959 Speaker 10: everyone sucks here. You're being an a hole for saying 1185 00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:13,320 Speaker 10: that they can't have him over. 1186 00:52:13,200 --> 00:52:13,879 Speaker 8: Without you there. 1187 00:52:14,080 --> 00:52:16,480 Speaker 10: It's Sarah's home too, and she should be able to 1188 00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:19,879 Speaker 10: have over anyone she wants. You're also an a hole 1189 00:52:19,920 --> 00:52:22,879 Speaker 10: for her and her kid out over this. That's an 1190 00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:26,160 Speaker 10: extremely crappy thing to do. She's also the a hole 1191 00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:28,680 Speaker 10: because she should have spoken to you about wanting to 1192 00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:32,000 Speaker 10: change the original agreement, and it does seem weird that 1193 00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:35,000 Speaker 10: she was lying and hiding it so much. Although since 1194 00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:37,719 Speaker 10: you are controlling and your reaction to it, maybe she 1195 00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:41,560 Speaker 10: was just scared. Opie says, I'm not entirely sure if 1196 00:52:41,560 --> 00:52:43,640 Speaker 10: she told Nathan to lie for her as he was 1197 00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:46,160 Speaker 10: at school the last time we had discussed it, and 1198 00:52:46,239 --> 00:52:49,640 Speaker 10: he jumped to say something fairly quickly this time, downvoted, 1199 00:52:49,760 --> 00:52:51,480 Speaker 10: you are tentatively the a hole. 1200 00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:54,319 Speaker 8: This is not just your home, or it wasn't just 1201 00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:54,840 Speaker 8: your home. 1202 00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:57,759 Speaker 10: Nathan has a right to see his dad, and Mark 1203 00:52:57,880 --> 00:53:00,480 Speaker 10: has a right to see his son, no matter how 1204 00:53:00,560 --> 00:53:01,480 Speaker 10: crappy he is. 1205 00:53:02,040 --> 00:53:03,480 Speaker 8: I have first hand experience. 1206 00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:04,759 Speaker 2: Well that's actually to. 1207 00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:09,480 Speaker 3: Say, no matter how crappy he is is pretty inaccurate. 1208 00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:13,319 Speaker 3: You can lose all rights to visit your child, ye, 1209 00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:16,160 Speaker 3: depending on how crappy you are. 1210 00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:19,960 Speaker 2: So that just putting that out there. 1211 00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:24,040 Speaker 10: Yeah, I feel like maybe the only way that you 1212 00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:27,480 Speaker 10: could maybe possibly stretch this that OPI was the a 1213 00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:30,120 Speaker 10: hole is that he was so quick to kick them out. 1214 00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:33,520 Speaker 10: But I don't think he's wrong for being mad about 1215 00:53:33,680 --> 00:53:37,719 Speaker 10: crossing boundaries, especially ones where there were obvious workarounds of 1216 00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:39,600 Speaker 10: like just not being in the house. 1217 00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:42,200 Speaker 3: Well yeah, and there's like clearly a place for her 1218 00:53:42,239 --> 00:53:45,520 Speaker 3: to land with Nathan at the grandparents' house, so I'm 1219 00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:47,600 Speaker 3: sure if that wasn't the case, maybe op. 1220 00:53:47,520 --> 00:53:48,840 Speaker 2: Would have handled it a little differently. 1221 00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:51,200 Speaker 3: But OPI did this knowing like yes, and I know 1222 00:53:51,239 --> 00:53:52,160 Speaker 3: exactly where you're gonna go. 1223 00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:54,759 Speaker 10: If you have made a family home, you can't just 1224 00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:57,799 Speaker 10: demand things like it belongs to you. It sounds like 1225 00:53:57,960 --> 00:54:00,839 Speaker 10: everyone was trying to keep to your rule then hid 1226 00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:03,719 Speaker 10: stuff from you because you're being an a hole, Opie says. 1227 00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:06,799 Speaker 10: I'm fully aware that it was our home, but it 1228 00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:10,359 Speaker 10: was solely mine before that. There was only one thing 1229 00:54:10,360 --> 00:54:12,440 Speaker 10: that I asked for when she moved in, and it 1230 00:54:12,480 --> 00:54:14,879 Speaker 10: was that I would be here while Mark was here. 1231 00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:17,319 Speaker 10: We have an update from a week later. I know 1232 00:54:17,360 --> 00:54:19,920 Speaker 10: it's fairly early in the morning while I'm posting this, 1233 00:54:20,160 --> 00:54:22,239 Speaker 10: but I got off the phone with my ex and 1234 00:54:22,320 --> 00:54:25,240 Speaker 10: figured you all deserved an update. There were a lot 1235 00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:27,640 Speaker 10: of different opinions on who was in the wrong, but 1236 00:54:27,880 --> 00:54:30,839 Speaker 10: after going over a ton of them, I realized I 1237 00:54:31,080 --> 00:54:34,480 Speaker 10: wasn't as non ass wholly as I thought. Now onto 1238 00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:36,520 Speaker 10: the update, as I'm sure that's what all of you 1239 00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:39,399 Speaker 10: came back for. It's not too exciting, so I'm sorry 1240 00:54:39,480 --> 00:54:43,080 Speaker 10: in advance. Firstly, on Monday, I had a locksmith come 1241 00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:45,759 Speaker 10: by in order to change the locks, which I got 1242 00:54:45,760 --> 00:54:48,319 Speaker 10: the go ahead from my landlord, and I ordered a 1243 00:54:48,360 --> 00:54:52,160 Speaker 10: new door camera that should be coming in sometime next week. 1244 00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:55,560 Speaker 10: After that, I hadn't heard from my ex until Tuesday, 1245 00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:58,560 Speaker 10: when she called me for a number I didn't recognize 1246 00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:02,719 Speaker 10: her mother's in order to apologize. She started crying over 1247 00:55:02,760 --> 00:55:05,200 Speaker 10: the phone, begging me to take her back and that 1248 00:55:05,280 --> 00:55:08,279 Speaker 10: she made a mistake and how awful it was being 1249 00:55:08,320 --> 00:55:11,320 Speaker 10: back at her parents' house. She complained that everything was 1250 00:55:11,360 --> 00:55:13,920 Speaker 10: a mess and that there was a smell she hated. 1251 00:55:14,160 --> 00:55:17,439 Speaker 10: She even promised to never bring Mark over again as 1252 00:55:17,560 --> 00:55:19,799 Speaker 10: long as she could move back. I ended up telling 1253 00:55:19,840 --> 00:55:22,040 Speaker 10: her that she had lost my trust and that I 1254 00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:25,120 Speaker 10: wasn't going to move past this simply because she was 1255 00:55:25,160 --> 00:55:27,640 Speaker 10: having a difficult time at her parents' house. I told 1256 00:55:27,680 --> 00:55:30,799 Speaker 10: her this was her consequence for breaking the one thing 1257 00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:32,960 Speaker 10: I asked her to do when she moved in. When 1258 00:55:32,960 --> 00:55:36,239 Speaker 10: she realized I wasn't budging, it's like a flip had 1259 00:55:36,280 --> 00:55:40,680 Speaker 10: been switched, she started screaming at me, using lots of 1260 00:55:40,680 --> 00:55:43,839 Speaker 10: colorful language I won't be repeating here. Among the list 1261 00:55:43,840 --> 00:55:47,120 Speaker 10: of swears, she told me I had no right her 1262 00:55:47,160 --> 00:55:50,160 Speaker 10: out of her home, that I was criticizing her as 1263 00:55:50,160 --> 00:55:53,279 Speaker 10: a parent, that I was manipulative and ignorant, and that 1264 00:55:53,440 --> 00:55:57,279 Speaker 10: nobody would ever love me, because not even she loved me. 1265 00:55:57,680 --> 00:56:00,200 Speaker 10: Before she hung up, she told me she'd get me 1266 00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:02,360 Speaker 10: evicted and take my apartment from me. 1267 00:56:02,800 --> 00:56:04,759 Speaker 8: I blocked the number after. 1268 00:56:04,800 --> 00:56:08,080 Speaker 10: I ended up emailing my landlord in order to see 1269 00:56:08,080 --> 00:56:10,280 Speaker 10: if there was any way she could get me evicted. 1270 00:56:10,480 --> 00:56:12,520 Speaker 10: I'm not sure if I mentioned it in my post, 1271 00:56:12,880 --> 00:56:15,440 Speaker 10: but I've been pretty good friends with his son for 1272 00:56:15,480 --> 00:56:18,120 Speaker 10: a while. He ended up calling me and laughing about 1273 00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:22,000 Speaker 10: the whole situation, telling me that legally she has no 1274 00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:24,520 Speaker 10: ground to stand on since her name was never on 1275 00:56:24,560 --> 00:56:28,040 Speaker 10: the lease. According to him, she was simply a living 1276 00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:31,839 Speaker 10: guest until her name was added. Thank goodness it never was, 1277 00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:35,120 Speaker 10: which brings us to earlier this morning, where my ex 1278 00:56:35,160 --> 00:56:37,879 Speaker 10: woke me up to call me, this time from her 1279 00:56:37,920 --> 00:56:41,760 Speaker 10: father's number, and repeated most of the things I listed above. 1280 00:56:42,239 --> 00:56:45,480 Speaker 10: Apparently she had contacted my landlord and he had hung 1281 00:56:45,560 --> 00:56:46,000 Speaker 10: up on her. 1282 00:56:46,239 --> 00:56:47,000 Speaker 8: Thank you, David. 1283 00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:49,080 Speaker 10: By the end of it, I told her to stop 1284 00:56:49,120 --> 00:56:52,360 Speaker 10: contacting me and that we were over for good. I 1285 00:56:52,440 --> 00:56:55,480 Speaker 10: blocked her father's number as well, It's not the most 1286 00:56:55,520 --> 00:56:59,000 Speaker 10: exciting update, as I said earlier, but it's what happened. 1287 00:56:59,120 --> 00:57:02,240 Speaker 10: Some people in the car suggested I talk to my landlord, 1288 00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:04,440 Speaker 10: which is what I ended up doing, So thank you 1289 00:57:04,480 --> 00:57:06,760 Speaker 10: to those people. That's the end of that story. 1290 00:57:07,400 --> 00:57:08,040 Speaker 2: Hey, it's Sam. 1291 00:57:08,080 --> 00:57:09,240 Speaker 6: We're gonna get back to the stories. 1292 00:57:09,280 --> 00:57:11,040 Speaker 2: But here's three minutespads from our sponsors. 1293 00:57:11,560 --> 00:57:14,440 Speaker 3: My girlfriend keeps pushing Froze to try Polly, and now 1294 00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:15,920 Speaker 3: I'm having doubts. 1295 00:57:16,120 --> 00:57:17,720 Speaker 8: Yeah, that would do that. 1296 00:57:18,240 --> 00:57:20,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, I doubt you're gonna stay together. 1297 00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:23,720 Speaker 6: Yeh, she's pushing for p My girlfriend. 1298 00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:26,240 Speaker 3: Twenty three female and I twenty two female, have been 1299 00:57:26,280 --> 00:57:28,840 Speaker 3: together for two and a half years, and I genuinely 1300 00:57:28,920 --> 00:57:31,600 Speaker 3: thought she was someone I wanted to spend the rest 1301 00:57:31,760 --> 00:57:34,160 Speaker 3: of my life with. But in the last couple of 1302 00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:36,920 Speaker 3: months she started pushing really hard for this, and I 1303 00:57:36,920 --> 00:57:38,720 Speaker 3: don't know what to do. By the way, this comes 1304 00:57:38,720 --> 00:57:41,720 Speaker 3: from user throwaway what do I Do? Thirty three seventy seven. 1305 00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:44,560 Speaker 3: I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, I'm Keon, and we're here to 1306 00:57:44,560 --> 00:57:46,080 Speaker 3: give you some good advice. Goofly, But we don't have 1307 00:57:46,120 --> 00:57:48,000 Speaker 3: all the answers. We are not the all seeing eye. 1308 00:57:48,120 --> 00:57:50,400 Speaker 3: We are not the all knowing orb, but we are 1309 00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:53,240 Speaker 3: just people and if you do something different, let us 1310 00:57:53,240 --> 00:57:56,040 Speaker 3: know in the comments. It started about three months ago 1311 00:57:56,360 --> 00:57:58,440 Speaker 3: when after a night out with a couple of our 1312 00:57:58,520 --> 00:58:01,320 Speaker 3: friends we go to college with, she told me that 1313 00:58:01,440 --> 00:58:03,200 Speaker 3: another woman, Becky. 1314 00:58:03,040 --> 00:58:06,240 Speaker 2: Had approached her at the bar and asked her out. 1315 00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:10,000 Speaker 3: Apparently, my girlfriend told Becky she was already in a relationship, 1316 00:58:10,200 --> 00:58:14,240 Speaker 3: and Becky suggested looking into polyamory. I laughed, thinking this 1317 00:58:14,400 --> 00:58:17,480 Speaker 3: was just a funny, odd story she was sharing, but 1318 00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:20,200 Speaker 3: she was completely serious about it, which just really weirded 1319 00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:22,560 Speaker 3: me out. I told her I wasn't comfortable with that, 1320 00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:24,080 Speaker 3: and after that she let it. 1321 00:58:24,040 --> 00:58:25,800 Speaker 2: Go for a couple of weeks. 1322 00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:29,160 Speaker 3: But lately she's been bringing it up more and more, 1323 00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:32,280 Speaker 3: to the point that it's been really bothering me. She'll 1324 00:58:32,280 --> 00:58:35,800 Speaker 3: show me articles preaching the benefits of a polyamorous lifestyle, 1325 00:58:36,120 --> 00:58:39,680 Speaker 3: she's reading books about it, et cetera. The main reason 1326 00:58:39,840 --> 00:58:42,280 Speaker 3: I'm even posting this is because last night, while we 1327 00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:45,640 Speaker 3: were in bed, she asked me whether I'd reconsidered polyamory 1328 00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:47,720 Speaker 3: and asked if there was anyone in particular I'd like 1329 00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:50,880 Speaker 3: to bring into the relationship. I got upset because the 1330 00:58:50,920 --> 00:58:53,440 Speaker 3: way she asked it, it sounded like she had someone 1331 00:58:53,440 --> 00:58:56,480 Speaker 3: in mind already. I didn't like the idea of polyamory 1332 00:58:56,560 --> 00:58:58,720 Speaker 3: in the first place, let alone the idea of her 1333 00:58:58,760 --> 00:59:02,440 Speaker 3: already being interested other people. She backed off immediately, but 1334 00:59:02,480 --> 00:59:06,640 Speaker 3: it had me feeling really suspicious. So I hate that 1335 00:59:06,720 --> 00:59:09,160 Speaker 3: I did it, and it's got me feeling guilty. 1336 00:59:09,160 --> 00:59:11,439 Speaker 2: But when she got in the shower, I went through 1337 00:59:11,480 --> 00:59:12,240 Speaker 2: her phone. 1338 00:59:12,320 --> 00:59:14,800 Speaker 3: I noticed one of her recent texts to someone said 1339 00:59:14,960 --> 00:59:17,880 Speaker 3: I miss being around you or something like that, and 1340 00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:21,200 Speaker 3: after looking through the text thread, I think it's definitely 1341 00:59:21,280 --> 00:59:23,600 Speaker 3: Becky from the bar. The first text was from the 1342 00:59:23,680 --> 00:59:26,959 Speaker 3: night she went out, and for a while they don't 1343 00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:29,160 Speaker 3: text super often. A lot of the texts are like 1344 00:59:29,240 --> 00:59:32,960 Speaker 3: updates about her progress in convincing me to be Polly. 1345 00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:36,680 Speaker 3: It's almost creepy. There were discussions about ideas of how 1346 00:59:36,760 --> 00:59:39,560 Speaker 3: to bring up polyamory again, ways to put it in 1347 00:59:39,600 --> 00:59:42,760 Speaker 3: a more positive light without making me feel like it 1348 00:59:42,840 --> 00:59:45,200 Speaker 3: was being shoved down my throat, and there was even 1349 00:59:45,200 --> 00:59:48,440 Speaker 3: a text saying she's ovulating, so maybe it'll. 1350 00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:49,600 Speaker 2: Sound more appealing to her. 1351 00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:52,600 Speaker 3: It's genuinely creeping me out and has me questioning a 1352 00:59:52,600 --> 00:59:55,920 Speaker 3: lot about our relationship. While I don't think she's actively 1353 00:59:56,000 --> 00:59:58,640 Speaker 3: cheating on me, I think she's gunning for her polyamory 1354 00:59:58,680 --> 01:00:01,720 Speaker 3: with the specific intention of be with Becky. That you 1355 01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:05,480 Speaker 3: just said she's cheating on me with like way more words, Yeah, 1356 01:00:05,520 --> 01:00:07,960 Speaker 3: that's all you said, she's cheating on you. How do 1357 01:00:08,040 --> 01:00:10,680 Speaker 3: I go about breaking up with her? Am I overthinking 1358 01:00:10,680 --> 01:00:12,760 Speaker 3: this and villainizing her for an identity she. 1359 01:00:12,720 --> 01:00:13,520 Speaker 2: Wants to explore. 1360 01:00:13,880 --> 01:00:16,680 Speaker 3: I'm obviously lost here, and I'd like an outside perspective 1361 01:00:16,680 --> 01:00:18,880 Speaker 3: on how to go about this without asking people we 1362 01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:22,560 Speaker 3: know to avoid airing out dirty laundry. Any advice would 1363 01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:25,880 Speaker 3: be appreciated, and we have some comments. Girl, it's crazy 1364 01:00:25,920 --> 01:00:28,200 Speaker 3: that you just said, how do I break up with her? 1365 01:00:28,320 --> 01:00:29,560 Speaker 2: You're ready to break up. 1366 01:00:29,480 --> 01:00:32,080 Speaker 8: With her as you should, she would like to break. 1367 01:00:31,880 --> 01:00:35,040 Speaker 3: Up Comment number one, it's become obvious you're not interested 1368 01:00:35,120 --> 01:00:38,520 Speaker 3: in a monogamous relationship anymore and monogamous so this isn't 1369 01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:40,600 Speaker 3: going to work and I'm not going to hold you back. 1370 01:00:40,680 --> 01:00:42,040 Speaker 2: This relationship is over. 1371 01:00:42,200 --> 01:00:46,160 Speaker 3: A reply to that says simple, courteous, and direct, excellently put. 1372 01:00:46,240 --> 01:00:49,280 Speaker 3: Comment number two says, don't she already has somebody in 1373 01:00:49,360 --> 01:00:52,080 Speaker 3: mind she wants to cheat with and is asking for permission. 1374 01:00:52,240 --> 01:00:54,920 Speaker 3: I know a few successful couples that have tried polyamory, 1375 01:00:54,960 --> 01:00:57,439 Speaker 3: but for everyone that works, there are ten others that don't. 1376 01:00:57,480 --> 01:00:59,280 Speaker 2: Frankly, this is your cue to dump her. 1377 01:00:59,360 --> 01:01:02,240 Speaker 3: Comment three as well, from what I can tell you 1378 01:01:02,760 --> 01:01:06,680 Speaker 3: of female couples, when one party brings up opening the relationship, 1379 01:01:06,720 --> 01:01:08,800 Speaker 3: the relationship is almost always over. 1380 01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:10,120 Speaker 2: They just don't know it yet. 1381 01:01:10,400 --> 01:01:13,160 Speaker 3: Whoever brings up opening the relationship almost always has another 1382 01:01:13,200 --> 01:01:16,720 Speaker 3: person in mind or are already cheating. So if you're monogamous, 1383 01:01:16,760 --> 01:01:21,240 Speaker 3: the relationship is doomed. If you are into trying swinging 1384 01:01:21,360 --> 01:01:23,200 Speaker 3: or bringing in a third person. 1385 01:01:22,960 --> 01:01:25,680 Speaker 2: Maybe, but if not, again doomed. 1386 01:01:26,520 --> 01:01:28,440 Speaker 3: If she wants to be with other people one on 1387 01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:29,800 Speaker 3: one and you're not okay with that. 1388 01:01:29,760 --> 01:01:31,200 Speaker 2: Also doomed. 1389 01:01:31,520 --> 01:01:34,320 Speaker 3: From what you said, it sounds like a concerted effort 1390 01:01:34,480 --> 01:01:36,960 Speaker 3: to convince you again. If you're not okay with it, 1391 01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:40,720 Speaker 3: then choose yourself and end things on your terms and 1392 01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:44,160 Speaker 3: just walk away. You deserve more from a partner. Comment 1393 01:01:44,200 --> 01:01:47,360 Speaker 3: for says No, I wouldn't say you're overreacting. As far 1394 01:01:47,360 --> 01:01:49,919 Speaker 3: as I've noticed. If one party pushes for any kind 1395 01:01:49,920 --> 01:01:52,880 Speaker 3: of third party involvement in a relationship, the other party 1396 01:01:53,040 --> 01:01:56,640 Speaker 3: doesn't want it never ends well. I myself, I'm interested 1397 01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:59,800 Speaker 3: in an open relationship. I've brought it up with my partner. 1398 01:02:00,080 --> 01:02:02,680 Speaker 3: He's not into it, and that I'm perfectly happy with 1399 01:02:02,720 --> 01:02:04,560 Speaker 3: not doing it if that means I stay with him, 1400 01:02:04,640 --> 01:02:07,120 Speaker 3: I would say, just be honest and say that you 1401 01:02:07,160 --> 01:02:09,880 Speaker 3: feel pushed into this and this is not what you want, 1402 01:02:10,040 --> 01:02:13,000 Speaker 3: and you stated so previously, So you want to end 1403 01:02:13,040 --> 01:02:14,720 Speaker 3: things if that's what you're aiming for. 1404 01:02:14,880 --> 01:02:15,240 Speaker 2: Reply. 1405 01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:19,080 Speaker 3: Your partner isn't doing it for you in the bedroom 1406 01:02:19,240 --> 01:02:22,920 Speaker 3: or lacking in other qualities. Would this be a correct assumption. 1407 01:02:23,160 --> 01:02:25,480 Speaker 3: Our reply says no, not at all. I have a 1408 01:02:25,480 --> 01:02:27,600 Speaker 3: pretty different view of the whole thing. Bicy sleep has 1409 01:02:27,600 --> 01:02:30,000 Speaker 3: never been an emotionally connected act. For me, It's about 1410 01:02:30,080 --> 01:02:33,120 Speaker 3: enjoying the act, and some people offer different things. I'm 1411 01:02:33,160 --> 01:02:35,880 Speaker 3: fully satisfied in my relationship, which is why I'm also 1412 01:02:35,960 --> 01:02:38,520 Speaker 3: fully happy with not being in an open relationship. 1413 01:02:38,600 --> 01:02:41,400 Speaker 2: Reply. That's a great response, the best I've heard so 1414 01:02:41,480 --> 01:02:42,840 Speaker 2: far from a woman's point of view. 1415 01:02:43,120 --> 01:02:45,640 Speaker 3: For most men, the act itself, most of us aren't 1416 01:02:45,640 --> 01:02:48,479 Speaker 3: emotionally connected. We just enjoy the actual deed and trying 1417 01:02:48,520 --> 01:02:51,400 Speaker 3: different things with different people. Unfortunately, most of the women 1418 01:02:51,440 --> 01:02:53,400 Speaker 3: I've spoken to about this are either bored or they 1419 01:02:53,400 --> 01:02:56,640 Speaker 3: feel unappreciative by their partners, which is a very bad 1420 01:02:56,640 --> 01:02:59,120 Speaker 3: state of mind to be in if they're considering this lifestyle. 1421 01:02:59,240 --> 01:03:01,440 Speaker 2: Thank you, And there is an update. 1422 01:03:01,680 --> 01:03:06,360 Speaker 3: Apparently my now ex girlfriend is kind of nuts. She 1423 01:03:06,520 --> 01:03:08,960 Speaker 3: came over to my place after work about two hours ago, 1424 01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:11,120 Speaker 3: and I took some people's advice and sat her down 1425 01:03:11,120 --> 01:03:13,240 Speaker 3: and told her I wanted to break up. After a 1426 01:03:13,360 --> 01:03:18,160 Speaker 3: very long, extremely confusing conversation, she admitted the truth. The 1427 01:03:18,240 --> 01:03:22,720 Speaker 3: texts weren't from Becky, they were from her husband. Wait 1428 01:03:22,880 --> 01:03:27,040 Speaker 3: what for context? She's always told me she was a sapphig, 1429 01:03:27,160 --> 01:03:31,480 Speaker 3: so that was a bit out of left field. According 1430 01:03:31,520 --> 01:03:33,880 Speaker 3: to her, she got pregnant from her high school sweetheart 1431 01:03:33,920 --> 01:03:36,400 Speaker 3: and their families pressured both of them to get married. 1432 01:03:36,560 --> 01:03:38,600 Speaker 2: They're from a very small religious. 1433 01:03:38,200 --> 01:03:42,040 Speaker 3: Town, so a baby would have made their families social outcasts. 1434 01:03:42,120 --> 01:03:45,280 Speaker 3: Her pregnancy was unsuccessful at about thirty weeks, which I'll 1435 01:03:45,280 --> 01:03:47,720 Speaker 3: admitt had me feeling very bad for her. She admitted 1436 01:03:47,720 --> 01:03:50,480 Speaker 3: to him a while afterwards that she thought she might 1437 01:03:50,560 --> 01:03:53,680 Speaker 3: be by and in turn, he admitted to her that 1438 01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:58,520 Speaker 3: he had a fetouche for POC women and she's white. 1439 01:03:58,600 --> 01:04:01,240 Speaker 2: The story about Becky technically true. 1440 01:04:01,320 --> 01:04:04,120 Speaker 3: She met her at a bar after going out every 1441 01:04:04,200 --> 01:04:05,760 Speaker 3: night for like a month since. 1442 01:04:05,520 --> 01:04:07,320 Speaker 2: She and her husband were at odds. 1443 01:04:07,480 --> 01:04:11,240 Speaker 3: Becky suggested polyamory after my ex told her she was married, 1444 01:04:11,280 --> 01:04:13,840 Speaker 3: and she went home to him with the idea. She 1445 01:04:13,960 --> 01:04:16,520 Speaker 3: and her husband agreed that if she could find him 1446 01:04:16,560 --> 01:04:19,840 Speaker 3: some women of color for them to potentially sleep with together, 1447 01:04:19,960 --> 01:04:24,040 Speaker 3: she could explore her by with relationships outside of the 1448 01:04:24,080 --> 01:04:27,520 Speaker 3: marriage in order to find and convinceaid women. They started 1449 01:04:27,600 --> 01:04:30,480 Speaker 3: sleeping with Becky, who is a black woman, and my 1450 01:04:30,600 --> 01:04:33,800 Speaker 3: ex started college shortly after, where. 1451 01:04:33,560 --> 01:04:35,440 Speaker 2: She met me, a Native American. 1452 01:04:35,480 --> 01:04:38,720 Speaker 3: The texts were apparently from her husband's Google voice number 1453 01:04:38,800 --> 01:04:42,600 Speaker 3: that he made specifically for communicating about the whole polyamory thing, 1454 01:04:42,920 --> 01:04:45,640 Speaker 3: so that if I or any future women she pursued 1455 01:04:45,720 --> 01:04:48,160 Speaker 3: checked her phone, they would only find out about her 1456 01:04:48,240 --> 01:04:51,560 Speaker 3: want for polyamory and not about the fact that she's married. 1457 01:04:51,760 --> 01:04:55,280 Speaker 3: I was confused about why we were together so long, 1458 01:04:55,400 --> 01:04:59,000 Speaker 3: and she never said anything about her husband, and she 1459 01:04:59,120 --> 01:05:01,160 Speaker 3: says that she felt in love with me right off 1460 01:05:01,160 --> 01:05:03,440 Speaker 3: the bat and wanted to make sure our relationship was 1461 01:05:03,560 --> 01:05:07,520 Speaker 3: rock solid before gently suggesting the idea. The whole situation 1462 01:05:07,640 --> 01:05:11,560 Speaker 3: has me feeling extremely disgusted, manipulated, and sad. Yea, now 1463 01:05:11,600 --> 01:05:14,440 Speaker 3: it feels like our entire friendship was nothing but an 1464 01:05:14,440 --> 01:05:15,720 Speaker 3: elaborate lie. 1465 01:05:15,840 --> 01:05:18,440 Speaker 1: She said, yeah, yeah, I need to make sure that 1466 01:05:18,560 --> 01:05:20,040 Speaker 1: we're on solid ground. 1467 01:05:20,440 --> 01:05:22,160 Speaker 6: And you know, we're a couple. 1468 01:05:22,400 --> 01:05:24,440 Speaker 1: My husband knows about this, by the way, but like 1469 01:05:24,640 --> 01:05:26,360 Speaker 1: we're trying to get you into it, but we're like, 1470 01:05:26,360 --> 01:05:28,920 Speaker 1: we're like, we're baby stepping here, we're baby stepping. 1471 01:05:29,160 --> 01:05:31,240 Speaker 10: And we did it when we were going out to 1472 01:05:31,360 --> 01:05:32,560 Speaker 10: date Ope's girlfriend. 1473 01:05:32,760 --> 01:05:34,000 Speaker 8: I'm talking to Ope's girlfriend. 1474 01:05:34,080 --> 01:05:36,840 Speaker 10: Did we not you know, maybe bring up polyamory a 1475 01:05:36,880 --> 01:05:40,400 Speaker 10: little sooner because we were doing it the whole time. 1476 01:05:40,760 --> 01:05:43,960 Speaker 3: Ultimately, I kicked her out and told her to never 1477 01:05:43,960 --> 01:05:46,960 Speaker 3: contact me again, blocked her on everything, and deleted any 1478 01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:48,480 Speaker 3: trace of her off of my phone. 1479 01:05:48,600 --> 01:05:51,240 Speaker 2: Now I'm just here drowning my sorrows in chili and 1480 01:05:51,360 --> 01:05:52,000 Speaker 2: ice cream. 1481 01:05:52,200 --> 01:05:56,000 Speaker 10: Wait, wait, wait, did I miss something? Is Becky her husband? 1482 01:05:56,200 --> 01:05:58,400 Speaker 2: No? No, you missed Yeah, you must have missed something. 1483 01:05:58,400 --> 01:06:00,280 Speaker 8: We were not okay, No, he's not. 1484 01:06:01,320 --> 01:06:03,320 Speaker 2: Her husband knew about Becky. 1485 01:06:03,680 --> 01:06:05,760 Speaker 6: Number that she was reading was her husband's, right. 1486 01:06:05,840 --> 01:06:08,200 Speaker 10: I was getting confused if maybe she had been calling 1487 01:06:08,240 --> 01:06:10,160 Speaker 10: her husband Becky this whole time. 1488 01:06:11,240 --> 01:06:14,200 Speaker 1: Or if Becky's actually Becky's an actual person, are we 1489 01:06:14,240 --> 01:06:17,240 Speaker 1: sure Bey's a person of color, she's a black woman. 1490 01:06:18,360 --> 01:06:20,400 Speaker 8: We learned that you're right comments to throw. 1491 01:06:20,360 --> 01:06:20,800 Speaker 7: Me off too. 1492 01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:24,320 Speaker 3: Hopefully this chapter in my life is completely over and 1493 01:06:24,360 --> 01:06:27,440 Speaker 3: done with, and I thank you all for listening and. 1494 01:06:27,600 --> 01:06:30,440 Speaker 2: THEA yeah I used your real name. Good crowd to 1495 01:06:30,480 --> 01:06:31,320 Speaker 2: your husband about it. 1496 01:06:31,440 --> 01:06:35,640 Speaker 3: If you're reading this at Fearsyleth, you have the intelligence 1497 01:06:35,640 --> 01:06:37,800 Speaker 3: of a rock. Your portfolio looks like it was done 1498 01:06:37,840 --> 01:06:41,080 Speaker 3: by a toddler. Your entire place smells like rat feces, 1499 01:06:41,080 --> 01:06:44,200 Speaker 3: and you are one of the most hot, breathed, selfish 1500 01:06:44,280 --> 01:06:49,320 Speaker 3: people I've ever met. You are your absolute greatest fear, unremarkable, plain, underwhelming, 1501 01:06:49,400 --> 01:06:50,080 Speaker 3: and disappointing. 1502 01:06:50,240 --> 01:06:51,640 Speaker 2: And that's the end of that story. 1503 01:06:51,680 --> 01:06:54,240 Speaker 3: But girl, I'll tell you this, it's never as big 1504 01:06:54,280 --> 01:06:55,919 Speaker 3: of an own as you think it is to dunk 1505 01:06:55,960 --> 01:06:58,080 Speaker 3: on someone that you used to be with because you 1506 01:06:58,160 --> 01:06:58,720 Speaker 3: were with them. 1507 01:06:59,240 --> 01:07:00,880 Speaker 8: I think we can give it to Op for that 1508 01:07:00,880 --> 01:07:02,200 Speaker 8: that was I got. 1509 01:07:02,000 --> 01:07:03,680 Speaker 2: You, But it's like, it's like, yeah, but then why 1510 01:07:03,680 --> 01:07:04,240 Speaker 2: were you with her? 1511 01:07:04,520 --> 01:07:07,920 Speaker 3: I get it, she didn't know she was I'm saying 1512 01:07:08,080 --> 01:07:09,520 Speaker 3: that she's a hot breath rat. 1513 01:07:09,600 --> 01:07:10,160 Speaker 2: Feces. 1514 01:07:10,320 --> 01:07:11,640 Speaker 8: You know, I'll let her get it out. 1515 01:07:11,760 --> 01:07:15,040 Speaker 2: She's fine. Why were you with doubt clean of hot breath? 1516 01:07:15,160 --> 01:07:16,600 Speaker 8: Ex is ever gonna see that