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Speaker 1: All right, right, dam I'm into your life from Philly.

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Speaker 1: It's the number one rated Paully and Tony Fosco show.

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Speaker 1: Yo Yo, as always Paulie Fosco here with Tony Fosco

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Speaker 1: and Tony. It's a very important show today because today

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Speaker 1: we are going to bring you a special report, Tiger

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Speaker 1: in trouble.

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Speaker 2: Tiger in trouble.

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Speaker 1: All right, guys, you may have read by now the

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Speaker 1: golf of Tiger Woods involved in his second car accident

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Speaker 1: in six years. You know, and by the way, you

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Speaker 1: know people saying this is terrible, Tony, we looked up

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Speaker 1: the statistics of drivers in Florida. That's actually a pretty

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Speaker 1: clean driving record that state. But of course the media

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Speaker 1: comes out blame Tiger, how could he do it? When

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Speaker 1: we're done with this show, you're going to see why

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Speaker 1: Tiger is the last person you should blame. Yeah. And also,

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Speaker 1: you know we cover all other news on this. You know,

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Speaker 1: it's controversial story. This bulls player cut for his anti

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Speaker 1: gay comments. Jade and Ivy. You know we're gonna say

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Speaker 1: something you think that's controversial, we might say something even

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Speaker 1: more controversial exactly. That's what we call the business of

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Speaker 1: these people. Learn you're not going to want to match

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Speaker 1: your media learn anyway, talking about why we how we

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Speaker 1: teach you media on the show and also controversial. You know,

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Speaker 1: it's you people out there. Do you even understand how

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Speaker 1: those media business works? If you haven't subscribed or rated

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Speaker 1: or reviewed this podcast on Apple Podcast, then all I

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Speaker 1: can say is, what the hell are you doing with

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Speaker 1: your life?

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Speaker 3: You know, literally, you know we're up here doing all

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Speaker 3: the work, and what are you doing? You think you

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Speaker 3: could just sit back and listen or watch a podcast

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Speaker 3: and not do anything.

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Speaker 1: That's not how this works. No, I mean, you know,

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Speaker 1: although sometimes Tony, I do wonder if maybe our content

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Speaker 1: is just too good. You know, people they're just they're

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Speaker 1: sitting there, they're so mesmerized by how good it is

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Speaker 1: that they can't do anything else.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what, that's that's actually a really good point.

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Speaker 3: You know, they're probably sitting there enjoying it so much

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Speaker 3: and learning so much that they just get paralyzed.

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Speaker 1: It's it's maybe too much information for the exactly we

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Speaker 1: can handle it. Yeah, exactly way.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: All right, that's enough of that. Let's waste no more

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Speaker 1: diamond and get right into a special report. Tiger in trouble.

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Speaker 2: Tiger in trouble, all right.

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Speaker 1: So you know the news Tiger was charged with the

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Speaker 1: d UI after his car rolled over and he you know,

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Speaker 1: was after he clips some guy in a truck who

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Speaker 1: is going to driveway whatever. You know, everyone's rushing to

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Speaker 1: blame the guy who hit the other guy. Exactly, that's

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Speaker 1: just the media recklessly coming to conclusions, talk about reckless

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Speaker 1: things through exactly. You know that that Tiger is a

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Speaker 1: bad driver, Tony. What's the one thing we all know

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Speaker 1: about Tiger.

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Speaker 3: He's a golfer, of course, and what do we know

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Speaker 3: about golfers.

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Speaker 1: They used to drive in golf carts.

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Speaker 3: You know, Tiger probably gotten the car, pressed the pedal down,

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Speaker 3: thinking that the car was gonna go five miles peraua max.

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Speaker 3: You know, like any normal golfer would. We've seen this before.

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Speaker 3: Scottie Scheffler probably thought he was gonna pull away from

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Speaker 3: the security guard at a speed of one mile perahur

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Speaker 3: because he thought he was in a golf cart too.

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Speaker 1: Exactly, That's what I said. Then I'll say it, you know,

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Speaker 1: And you gotta think people aren't asking, well, where was

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Speaker 1: Tiger coming from? Well, he's a golfer. So he was

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Speaker 1: probably coming from, you know, one of these Shishi country clubs, right,

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Speaker 1: what do they have there, valet valet. He probably went

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Speaker 1: up to the valet and said, give me my cart,

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Speaker 1: and his valet becau is an idiot thought he said car.

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Speaker 1: I gave him a car. You know, there you go.

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Speaker 3: You know, must have been a total misunderstanding. And you know,

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Speaker 3: when you think about it, he was in Florida, which

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Speaker 3: is basically one big golf course. You know, Florida is

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Speaker 3: more golf course than it is state. So Tiger must

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Speaker 3: have thought he was driving a golf car on a

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Speaker 3: golf course and then realize, no, he was on a street.

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Speaker 1: Perfectly reasonable explanation. And you know he said that when

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Speaker 1: the accident happened that he was on the phone. Well

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Speaker 1: what if Tiger was on the phone with his caddy

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Speaker 1: exactly and the caddy said something like you need to

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Speaker 1: work on hitting a driver. Well, Tiger was just following

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Speaker 1: the caddy's orders, as any good golfer would. So clearly

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Speaker 1: you got to blame the caddy, you know.

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Speaker 3: One hundred percent. And you know what else you blame

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Speaker 3: the caddy for. If a caddy can help pick the

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Speaker 3: right golf club. Then why is in the caddy helping

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Speaker 3: Tiger pick the right car? You know clearly range ROVERA

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Speaker 3: is the wrong way to go. You got to go

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Speaker 3: with something like one of those automatic self driving cars

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Speaker 3: or at the very least Evolvo or And you know,

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Speaker 3: if not a Volvo, then what about a tank A

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Speaker 3: he can afford it. And two everyone would see him

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Speaker 3: coming and get out of it away.

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Speaker 1: And three you know it wouldn't roll over.

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Speaker 3: And four, well he'd be standing with the troops because

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Speaker 3: you know, he'd literally be standing with the troops in

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Speaker 3: the tank.

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Speaker 1: All great points that Dody. And you know, in this

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Speaker 1: whole blame game with the media, how come I've never

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Speaker 1: heard one person blame the guy driving the truck that

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Speaker 1: got in Tiger Woods's way. Exactly. If you've got Tiger

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Speaker 1: Woods behind you, you got to let him play through.

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Speaker 1: Got to whether that's on a of course or a

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Speaker 1: residential street, it doesn't matter. You think you got more

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Speaker 1: important places to be the Tiger Woods. Who do you

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Speaker 1: think you are? Exactly? And you know who else? I

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Speaker 1: blame that TGF.

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Speaker 3: You know that dumb simulated golf show where they hit

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Speaker 3: the ball into the screen like a bunch of wishes.

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Speaker 3: You know, he was playing that TGF right before the accident.

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Speaker 3: You know, maybe when he was driving the car, he

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Speaker 3: thought he was still in the simulation. Like the other day,

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Speaker 3: I put on one of those meta head quest things

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Speaker 3: and I couldn't tell, you know, reality from the headset.

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Speaker 1: And since then I've.

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Speaker 3: Been all confused, like, am I playing simulated ping pong

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Speaker 3: right now?

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Speaker 1: Or am I doing a show? I can't tell the difference.

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Speaker 3: You know, seriously, is this the real show or is

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Speaker 3: this taking place right now in my meta head quest?

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Speaker 1: I really can't tell. Don't worry, don't You're in real

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Speaker 1: life right now. But I can see you're making the point.

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Speaker 1: How confusing it must have been for Tiger, was you

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Speaker 1: know exactly? You know the other person that I blame you, Tony,

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Speaker 1: And I know this is controversial, but I have to

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Speaker 1: blame the cop who pulled him over, because you know,

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Speaker 1: he asked Tiger to walk in a straight line and

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Speaker 1: then Tiger was apparently wobbling around and unable to do it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because the guy has a metal leg exactly. And you

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Speaker 1: know we've all seen this before. Of course, I'm talking

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Speaker 1: about Terminator too.

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Speaker 3: You know, there's a part where the T one thousand

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Speaker 3: just had his leg blown off, and you know, because

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Speaker 3: he's made of liquid metal, it first shapes the new

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Speaker 3: leg into a kind of metal pole kind of leg.

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Speaker 1: And even the T one thousand had trouble walking. So

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Speaker 1: you know, say no more, don't he makes total sense exactly.

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Speaker 1: And you know the other thing that I've been thinking

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Speaker 1: about in this whole thing, isn't it suspicious to anyone

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Speaker 1: that this crash happened right before the master's good point?

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Speaker 1: You know when Tiger Woods, you know, could easily wait

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Speaker 1: in his sleep. How do we know this isn't something

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Speaker 1: you know, Tanya Heart and Jeff Golougi kind of thing.

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Speaker 1: You know, where was Phil Mickelson when this happened? Where

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Speaker 1: was Scotty Scheffler when this happened? How come nobody in

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Speaker 1: quoting that? You know? In fact, I went and looked

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Speaker 1: this up, ton. It turns out at the time of

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Speaker 1: Tiger's accident, there was a very highly suspicious number of

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Speaker 1: golfers in Florida. In fact, there were more golfers in

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Speaker 1: that state at that time than there were anywhere in

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Speaker 1: the world, but underreported by the media. You know, I

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Speaker 1: was thinking the same thing.

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Speaker 3: And why hasn't the media asked Phil Mickelson about that,

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Speaker 3: you know, or Scotty Scheffler about that.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's a fair job. That silence is very suspicious.

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Speaker 1: The silence says everything Tony exactly. And you know the

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Speaker 1: other thing that people just you know, because they get

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Speaker 1: so wrong here saying, well, Tiger Woods is stepping away

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Speaker 1: from golf, you know, he made that announcement, and they're

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Speaker 1: acting like his career is over. Well, to me, his

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Speaker 1: career is just beginning right down.

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Speaker 2: Ain't.

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Speaker 3: Of course, In fact, Tiger Woods can still have a

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Speaker 3: legendary career, you know, not in golf, but in NASCAR.

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Speaker 3: Think about it. What do people love most about Nascar?

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Speaker 3: The of course, sometimes I watch these races and there's

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Speaker 3: no crashes, But with Tiger you'd be guaranteed to crash

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Speaker 3: every time. And we know Tiger can drive ratings just

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Speaker 3: not cause it's.

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Speaker 1: A win win for everyone. You know, it's a great

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Speaker 1: point do it. And you know, what do we know

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Speaker 1: about Tiger Woods? He is a legend at finding the

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Speaker 1: whitest sport imaginable like golf and then changing the game.

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Speaker 1: Well exactly, what's then the NASCAR there's nothing whiter than Nascar.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I can't, I can't name another sport you know.

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Speaker 3: Maybe yeah, uh, you know, maybe lawn bowling.

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Speaker 1: But I can't think of anything, you know, doesn't work.

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Speaker 1: Maybe he does into lawn bowling. Yeah, he would dominate

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Speaker 1: that too, he would. He would dominate that though. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: all right, that wraps our special report, Tiger.

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Speaker 2: In trouble, Tiger in Trouble.

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Speaker 1: We had to wrap it there because there's other news

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Speaker 1: we got to get out of the NBA. The Bulls

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Speaker 1: released that player Jaden Ivy after he went on Instagram

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Speaker 1: and said that the gay Bride Night is a bad

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Speaker 1: idea because it celebrates quote, unrighteousness, and you know, Tony.

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Speaker 1: As controversial as this is, we have to agree that

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Speaker 1: this whole discussion of male sexuality has no place in basketball.

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Speaker 1: You know, it really doesn't.

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Speaker 3: You know, the game of basketball, it's not about who's

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Speaker 3: gay or who's straight. It's about ten men on the

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Speaker 3: court chasing down balls. Ryana grabbed those balls, you know,

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Speaker 3: grinding on each other, banging into each other. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 3: not about sexuality. It's about going hard at the other guys.

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Speaker 3: You know, sometimes double team in or even triple team

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Speaker 3: in them and then dunking your balls right in his

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Speaker 3: face and saying facial You know, it's not about being

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Speaker 3: gay or straight or BLT. So I agree, let's keep

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Speaker 3: all this sexual stuff out of basketball.

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Speaker 1: It just had to be said that, Tony. And you

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Speaker 1: know to another story that had to be said, thankfully,

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Speaker 1: the Baltimore Ravens president Sashi Brown. You know, he came

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Speaker 1: out talking about this whole failed Max Crosby traded with

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Speaker 1: the Ravens, and he said that the media blew it

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Speaker 1: out of proportion because it was quote a slow news cycle.

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Speaker 1: And I gotta agree, that's exactly what I was thinking

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Speaker 1: happened here, Tony, didn't you? Yeah, me too, And he's

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Speaker 1: totally right. You know, we see this all the time.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 3: I remember when I was growing up and all the

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Speaker 3: news kept talking about this random wall that came down,

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Speaker 3: uh in Germany I think it was, and it was

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Speaker 3: all over the news, and I was like, why did

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Speaker 3: they keep talking about this random wall? It wasn't even

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Speaker 3: a nice wall. It had a bunch of spray paint

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Speaker 3: all over it. And they covered the taking down to

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Speaker 3: this war for weeks, and I was like, is this

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Speaker 3: the news or HGTV. You know, why do I care

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Speaker 3: about some city's demolition project? And you know, I was

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Speaker 3: glad the war came down because it was so ugly,

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Speaker 3: but it was clearly a slow news cycle.

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Speaker 1: Slow news cycle. I could never figure out what was

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Speaker 1: going on there either, and well on the subjects is

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Speaker 1: something I can't figure out. You know, the Giants. I

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Speaker 1: read the news because they're apparently considering bringing back Odell

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Speaker 1: Beckham Junior. Now I don't understand why even Odell would

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Speaker 1: want to go back to the Giant. I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: wrap my head around this. Don't What do you think

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Speaker 1: is going on here?

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Speaker 3: The only thing that I could think that makes sense

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Speaker 3: is that, you know, Odell must be wondering if he

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Speaker 3: might have left some coke in his old Giants locker.

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Speaker 3: You know, because right now, the price of you know,

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Speaker 3: the tariffs and the price of everything going up, coke

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Speaker 3: is probably very expensive.

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Speaker 1: That makes a lot of sense. So maybe if you

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Speaker 1: can go back and get the coke, and you know,

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Speaker 1: maybe you gotta wonder did L. D. Lawrence Talor leave

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Speaker 1: some coke that though, because then you get your own

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Speaker 1: and he get that eighties coke which was probably more potent.

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Speaker 3: So that's a great point, because I can't I really

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Speaker 3: can't think of anything else.

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Speaker 1: I can't think of another reason. But you know, while

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Speaker 1: we're talking NFC East Yea, the story came across that

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Speaker 1: Dak Prescott is reportedly in a quote good spot after

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Speaker 1: breaking off the engagement, wedding whatever it was with his

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Speaker 1: girlfriend there And Donny, you dug into this and you

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Speaker 1: found out what that means, didn't I did?

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Speaker 3: I did, And according to my sources, when they say

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Speaker 3: Dak is in a good spot, they're referring to his

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Speaker 3: spot in the local Dallas strip club where apparently he

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Speaker 3: has a third row seat in the corner when no

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Speaker 3: one can see him getting a blowjob from one of

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Speaker 3: the strippers.

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Speaker 1: Oh well, good reporting that, Donny, And they're well on

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Speaker 1: the subject of good spots. You know, that's a fine

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Speaker 1: spot for Dak. But if you want to be in

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Speaker 1: a good spot out there, there's one great spot, and

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Speaker 1: that's of course, the official Fusco Show merch Store where

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Speaker 1: you can get so many great shirts and mugs and

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Speaker 1: other things. You go there, now, you buy the stuff,

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Speaker 1: and you do that because we all know how lazy

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Speaker 1: you've been at Leasta, I believe established up tops, so

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Speaker 1: you can make up for that anyway. All right, we're

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Speaker 1: going to take a break. We'll be right back with

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Speaker 1: this Week in Facebook News. All right, we're back from break.

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Speaker 1: You know, as we told you up top, and in

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Speaker 1: every show, you can't trust the lying, lazy no, right,

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Speaker 1: and you know that's why people come to us for

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Speaker 1: the straight dope. But you know people always wonder, well,

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Speaker 1: how do you how do you guys get all this

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Speaker 1: good information? And well, you know, we don't like to

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Speaker 1: give away the tricks of the trade air, but but

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Speaker 1: we do have to tip our ap to the greatest

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Speaker 1: news source out there right now, and of course that's Facebook.

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Speaker 1: So right now we're going to go through all the

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Speaker 1: stories that the media, big media is hiding but Facebook, luckily,

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Speaker 1: the good people at Facebook are putting on that platform.

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Speaker 1: So it's time for this week in Facebook News.

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Speaker 2: This week in Facebook News, all.

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Speaker 1: Right, put up that first one here this. I couldn't

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Speaker 1: believe the media didn't talk about this. After the Yankees

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Speaker 1: game the other night, the Yankees lost to the Mariners

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Speaker 1: two to one. Manager Aaron Boone was seen in the

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Speaker 1: postgame conference crying like a little bit sobbing, Yeah, sobbing.

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Speaker 1: And also what nobody reported is you can see in

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Speaker 1: this image that the Yankees accidentally wore their uniforms back

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Speaker 1: wows crying because the Yankees are so inept? Why they

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Speaker 1: not talking? Are you kidding me? Talking about in nept?

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Speaker 4: What? That is a telltale sign of artificial intelligence? If

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Speaker 4: stuff in the image is backwards.

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Speaker 1: Your your head is backwards, your asses on top of

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Speaker 1: your head. So you're a telltale sign of a douchebag.

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Speaker 1: All right, go to this next, go to the next one,

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Speaker 1: and shot, what are you gonna say about this one?

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Speaker 1: Look at this Travis kelce Nobody is reporting this Tony

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Speaker 1: Travis kelcey thirty minutes ago in an unfortunate accident. There

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Speaker 1: he is seemingly on life support. Wow, I've gone to CNN, DMZ,

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Speaker 1: all the outlets, crickets. So you gotta wonder what are

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Speaker 1: they trying to hide? Because clearly, look at that him,

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Speaker 1: he's on his deathbed there. What do you say about that?

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Speaker 1: That's not a fake? You can't say that's AI.

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Speaker 4: That it is AI. They're all AI.

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Speaker 1: You already, I yeah, you know that you must be AI.

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Speaker 1: That's how he knows Tony, because he's exactly see what

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Speaker 1: you have to say about this. I got some terrible

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Speaker 1: news for everyone in the audience. Please just hold on

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Speaker 1: because I'm going to break some news here. According to Facebook,

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Speaker 1: thirty minutes ago, Sidney Sweeney and Glenn Powell were both

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Speaker 1: killed in a tragic accident. And I'm so sorry to

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Speaker 1: break this news to you, but that is a real

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Speaker 1: photo of them smiling. That's real when they died. But

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Speaker 1: the news is clearly real. And I you know, because

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Speaker 1: this happened thirty minutes ago. That's why the news outlets

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Speaker 1: are not reporting this. But Facebook so up to the

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Speaker 1: minute first, the first time. You're going to find out

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Speaker 1: about it soon. What do you say about that? Producers

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Speaker 1: are what.

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Speaker 2: Do you want?

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Speaker 3: Producers already me mocking they died and he's mocking them.

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Speaker 4: Your marketing can be real. Anybody can put text on

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Speaker 4: top of a picture. It's like six stuff.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to put text on your face that says

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Speaker 1: douchebag because.

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Speaker 3: Your exactly, you know, so disrespectful. He's a memory of

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Speaker 3: those two young actors. Can you stop just dirupting and

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Speaker 3: being so really pleased?

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Speaker 1: Can you be quiet?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, frankly, I agree, because none of this is getting through.

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Speaker 1: My fist is going to get through to your face. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: none of this is getting through. Is what the time

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Speaker 1: you tried to have sex? That's what the woman said?

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Speaker 1: There you go anyway? All right, Look, you know, Tony,

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Speaker 1: this is what I see is going on here, right,

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Speaker 1: He's part of the big media conspiracy cover You know

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Speaker 1: who's part of that? You know he's part of that

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Speaker 1: cover up Oprah Winfrey. Well, good news, Tony, because look

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Speaker 1: at what just happened again. Thirty minutes ago, Oprah Winfrey

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Speaker 1: arrested by police. You'll see there in handcuffs away you

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Speaker 1: probably something, you know, probably for being you know, a

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Speaker 1: pedophile who supports Antifa. You know, it's got to be

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Speaker 1: one of those things. But now finally in jail, what

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Speaker 1: do you say about that producer that that's a real image? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: thatsree serious? You can't be serious. Well, I'm gonna look

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Speaker 1: this up. Hold on, Tony, I'm gonna look this up. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna confirm. Are you gonna have egg on your face?

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Speaker 4: I can't wait for this one.

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Speaker 1: CNN from twenty twenty. There's a headline, Tony. It says,

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Speaker 1: Oprah denies awful fake arrest rumors. Oh so there you go,

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Speaker 1: CNN cnver up with Oprah Winfrey. There, what do you say?

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Speaker 1: What do you say, producer? What do you say now? Mister? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he's done. You know what, Donny, it's no great nos.

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Speaker 1: We went out on a high note.

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Speaker 3: Yep.

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Speaker 1: We may have lost Sydney Sweeney, but frankly, until in

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Speaker 1: jail is dedicated to the end this in week in

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Speaker 1: Facebook nose. All right, I close it up.

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Speaker 2: Yah.

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Speaker 1: It was a great show all around, Tony, your great

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Speaker 1: journalism by us, and we want to remind you and

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Speaker 1: go to the arches all the merchr you in me.

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Speaker 1: I want to put you in jail with Oprah.

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Speaker 4: What Yeah, what you think another golfer did something to

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Speaker 4: Tiger's car to cause the accident so he wouldn't win

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Speaker 4: the Masters.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, connect the dots, bro, Tiger.

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Speaker 4: Is not even going to play in the Masters, and

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Speaker 4: if he did, he would have been lucky to make

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Speaker 4: the cut.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Well after the show, I'm going to make

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Speaker 1: a cut in your abdomen. Yeah, and you're going to

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Speaker 1: win the Masters betas. Oh great, what.

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Speaker 4: You called the Golf League TGF?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, bro, Yeah, that's one with the screens. That's the name.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it's not TGF, it's tg L. It's an

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Speaker 4: abbreviation for Tomorrow Golf League.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well your DGL totally girlless.

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Speaker 3: And you know what's also abbreviated, your penis.

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Speaker 1: Oh but here I got great news, Tony. This just

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Speaker 1: came in. Just booked on next week's show, super Bowl

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Speaker 1: hero Eagles legend Nick Foles will be in. Wow, that's huge.

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Speaker 1: Don't forget you got it. You got work to do. People,

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Speaker 1: this you Dony, You being lazy. You're rate and review

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Speaker 1: around the podcast. You like your subscribing a donate great

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Speaker 1: job as always, same to you, poorly another floor is show.

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Speaker 1: There you go. We'll see people next week. See your