WEBVTT - Becoming a "Sweater Guy" with Dean McDermott

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<v Speaker 1>Wind Down with jam and Kramer and Michael Coffin and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm her radio podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>I have so much to say because I have not

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<v Speaker 2>caught up with Sarah since the Wine Down tour stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>We were in Chicago and Michigan and and Louisville. So

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<v Speaker 2>the bus rolls in. About what time do we get

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<v Speaker 2>in that too, like.

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<v Speaker 3>Two in the morning. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't even see you, Sarah when you left. Yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>because your flight ended up changing. There was drama, you guys. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>so there was. We were living on the bus for

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<v Speaker 2>four days something like that, and there was so much

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<v Speaker 2>crap in the back seat or the back part of

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<v Speaker 2>the lounge that things were just like being thrown into bags.

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<v Speaker 2>So the next morning, so tired, Jolie has school, so

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<v Speaker 2>I just kind of like blindly put my clothes on,

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<v Speaker 2>grab my bag. I'm in the car driving to her preschool.

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<v Speaker 2>I walk in and I look in my bag. I've

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<v Speaker 2>got the bottle of bullet in in my purse. So,

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<v Speaker 2>for those who don't know bullet is, it's all my drinks.

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<v Speaker 2>And I mean it's an opened bottle of bullet like

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<v Speaker 2>half drank. And I'm like, if anyone stops for me,

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<v Speaker 2>right now, who opens my bag? Like mom of the year,

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<v Speaker 2>Like I walked into her preschool with an open bottle

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<v Speaker 2>of bullet Mom of the year, That is like what

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<v Speaker 2>it wud been so great? I would have gotten pulled over.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't like officer. I swear I don't drink bullet,

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<v Speaker 2>Like I know what this looks like. Wait, I'm well

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<v Speaker 2>aware that is how did he who knows people? We

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<v Speaker 2>just were like putting things in.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh it was a night.

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<v Speaker 2>But I'm just like if you I was just in

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<v Speaker 2>my head, I'm like, how would I explain this to

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<v Speaker 2>a like the principal preschool.

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<v Speaker 3>Lady and then a I guess all of a sudden

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<v Speaker 3>joys school. Now it randomly does backcheck.

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<v Speaker 2>What if I would have fallen and like a bullet

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<v Speaker 2>like women everywhere, I would if someone grabbed my back,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know, like you just start thinking, or what

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<v Speaker 2>if I opened it and be like, oh, Julie, here's

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<v Speaker 2>your water bottle. Then Miss Tina sees the other bottle

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<v Speaker 2>in there, I'm just like, wow, mortified.

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<v Speaker 4>Mike's just happy his bullet made at home.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, absolutely, Hey guys, Hey, hey I'm not hungover anymore.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh that was speaking of hungover.

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<v Speaker 3>Though.

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<v Speaker 2>We had a little issue because I told Mike what

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<v Speaker 2>time we were leaving your wedding at Sarah on the

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<v Speaker 2>tour bus.

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<v Speaker 5>So she already booked their flights. Mark was looking at

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<v Speaker 5>me like, what the wedding already happened?

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<v Speaker 2>No, no, no, the wedding obviously is in February. But I

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<v Speaker 2>booked the flights and I didn't pook the first flight

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<v Speaker 2>out like I'm usually the first flight out, because I

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<v Speaker 2>want to be back home with the kids.

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<v Speaker 6>Mike shaking it.

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<v Speaker 2>So I booked a ten o'clock fly, which is like,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, just enough time to wake up, Yes, just

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<v Speaker 2>enough time, honey, what time would you like to leave

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<v Speaker 2>the wedding at or leave the hotel at.

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<v Speaker 3>Six pm that night? Last flight? I'm I'm more of

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<v Speaker 3>a like last flight out kind of guy. After especially

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<v Speaker 3>a wedding like this, I'm already telling you. I've been

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<v Speaker 3>giving you months ahead of time, like when we knew

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<v Speaker 3>what when Sarah's getting married, And I was like, I'm

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<v Speaker 3>going to be in rare form. You're probably gonna have

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<v Speaker 3>to put me to bed. I don't know what's gonna happen,

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<v Speaker 3>so let's not take the first flight out.

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<v Speaker 4>No, we were.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm like, Jenna is for sure, Mike's gonna be a

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<v Speaker 5>couple of bullets and maybe some champagne. Genna's just gonna

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<v Speaker 5>get on a red eye that night and leave you.

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<v Speaker 5>You're gonna wake up in the hotel room alone.

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<v Speaker 3>Fine, fine, totally fine, it's gonna.

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<v Speaker 2>I just let him open by the way his first

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<v Speaker 2>we like to. I have a really hard time keeping

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<v Speaker 2>presence for Mike, and so I got one of those

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<v Speaker 2>Have you ever seen those curate drink works? Yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>they're amazing you. Actually, it's like what if you walked

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<v Speaker 2>around with the pod. It's like basically like a cureg pod.

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<v Speaker 2>It's made by Care two, but it has like a

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<v Speaker 2>margarita or a mohido or as. It's so cool. So

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<v Speaker 2>it'll just be you like with this mug with your

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<v Speaker 2>carry on. It's just like sep well because like you

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<v Speaker 2>don't know, but.

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<v Speaker 5>Like most people's hangover start kicking in around ten eleven, right, so.

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<v Speaker 3>Ely, I will still be drunks. A might not let

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<v Speaker 3>me throw it.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, you're literally gonna be.

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<v Speaker 2>You were in charge then of changing the tickets if

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<v Speaker 2>you want, I know, can we meet in the middle

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<v Speaker 2>six is too late, because then we couldn't put.

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<v Speaker 7>The well, checkout times got to happen at some point

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<v Speaker 7>eleven or twelve.

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<v Speaker 2>Exactly, Yes, great point.

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<v Speaker 7>Mark, thank you, thank you.

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<v Speaker 2>What about like kicking me out too?

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<v Speaker 5>He's going to be he's gonna be like the what's

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<v Speaker 5>it called the the maids are going to knock on

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<v Speaker 5>the door and just enter them and might have you passed.

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<v Speaker 4>Out and naked on the bed like alone.

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<v Speaker 2>They're going to be like, what alone? And afraid.

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<v Speaker 3>Jana's gone? Are you texting me that she landed back

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<v Speaker 3>home and is with the kids?

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<v Speaker 1>What are you.

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<v Speaker 2>Asking for for Christmas?

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<v Speaker 5>Sarah?

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<v Speaker 2>Since this is our last Christmas?

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<v Speaker 4>What am I asking for for Christmas?

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<v Speaker 2>Mike got you two things that just got delivered today.

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<v Speaker 6>What?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's little, it's little.

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<v Speaker 3>It's just something I saw and I could.

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<v Speaker 4>Not what What's she's talking about? How kind of a soul?

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<v Speaker 4>What a gent?

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<v Speaker 2>And I was like you what?

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<v Speaker 1>No?

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<v Speaker 4>I mean I know she was like, did you get

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<v Speaker 4>my presence yet?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't want anything?

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<v Speaker 4>I know you actually probably don't want anything.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 5>I haven't I've been like a little busy normally. You know,

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<v Speaker 5>I have my list a month ago, But I don't.

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<v Speaker 5>I just something I really like as presents. I like

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<v Speaker 5>shoes as present. And I know that sounds like, oh,

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<v Speaker 5>she likes shoes, But I just feel like there's a

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<v Speaker 5>lot of memory because like I have, you know, I

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<v Speaker 5>have shoes from ten years ago that I still wear,

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<v Speaker 5>you know, and you do too, and we wear them

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<v Speaker 5>to the death, and I just think it's a nice momentum.

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<v Speaker 4>I lose jewelry, I lose, you know, I lose a

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<v Speaker 4>lot you have.

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<v Speaker 3>Wait, so you do you guys tie shoes and memory together?

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<v Speaker 3>Just like like no, I'm saying no, not tie tie

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<v Speaker 3>like put together shoes. You're like when you go to

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<v Speaker 3>put on a pair of shoes, like, oh I remember, I.

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<v Speaker 7>Do really well.

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<v Speaker 4>But no, not like you know, a nice pair I get.

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<v Speaker 5>I have a nice pair that I remember, you know,

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<v Speaker 5>like oh I got these for my birthday, Ty got

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<v Speaker 5>me these for Valentine's Day. Yeah, not like my Nikes,

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<v Speaker 5>not my kicks.

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<v Speaker 2>But well, it's just interesting because I wonder if that's

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<v Speaker 2>going to change for because now that we have kids,

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<v Speaker 2>people are asking and we're not even really doing presents

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<v Speaker 2>in our family anymore. Because it's like, I don't want.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't need anything. I don't want anything like I

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<v Speaker 2>have my kids, and I think that's and I never

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<v Speaker 2>understood that when when my parents would say that when

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<v Speaker 2>we were kids, I was like.

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<v Speaker 3>What do you mean?

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<v Speaker 2>You don't want something? And now I'm just like, I

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<v Speaker 2>don't want anything. I just I just want my I

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<v Speaker 2>want my family, and I want to have a great

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<v Speaker 2>dinner and some quality time and maybe watch a movie

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<v Speaker 2>on Christmas night. And I want them to be happy.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to see them.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, honestly write that down. But I feel like you weren't.

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<v Speaker 2>Like because I told you. I was like, I don't,

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<v Speaker 2>I really don't. I asked for a necklace about mommy necklace,

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<v Speaker 2>but Lola and James uh turning it to me. So

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<v Speaker 2>I was just like anything, I feel like it's.

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<v Speaker 4>Just sentimental things. I like sentimental things, and that.

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<v Speaker 2>A picture with the kids, A handwritten letter that is like.

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<v Speaker 4>Golden to Mike, A hand written letter.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe oh yeah, which comes to another great topic.

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<v Speaker 6>Uh.

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<v Speaker 2>We need to tease the guests though, because I'm really

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<v Speaker 2>excited about the guest. Dean McDermott is coming in. He's

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<v Speaker 2>married to Tory Spelling and they have a very interesting past, public,

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<v Speaker 2>public past, and they were one of the couples that I,

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<v Speaker 2>having away always looked up to in a weird way

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<v Speaker 2>because of their ability to own it in such a

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<v Speaker 2>public way. And I just have a lot of respect

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<v Speaker 2>for that. So he's going to be a guest on

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<v Speaker 2>our show today and I'm super excited about that. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>excited to stay tuned for that.

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<v Speaker 3>But hold, let me ask you about the presents real quick.

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<v Speaker 3>So I feel like women will say that, right, I

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<v Speaker 3>really don't want anything. I want that if a guy

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<v Speaker 3>actually said, all right.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh you're dead cool.

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<v Speaker 2>No no, no, no time out, time out, time out,

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<v Speaker 2>if you didn't do anything, I actually would be kind

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<v Speaker 2>of bummed. But the one thing that I would want

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<v Speaker 2>is because I would want at least that sentimental gift.

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<v Speaker 2>It's the time in which you maybe drew Jolie's hand

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<v Speaker 2>and you guys wrote me like, that's the stuff that

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<v Speaker 2>the sentiment. It's the sentimental stuff that like that. It

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<v Speaker 2>could be you know, a simple.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay by a question answer okay.

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<v Speaker 2>So I don't need the shoes. I don't need because

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<v Speaker 2>it's like, yeah, I'm good, honestly, but I still would

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<v Speaker 2>like something special. I guess Okay, so there you go.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not that I don't want anything.

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<v Speaker 4>I want.

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<v Speaker 2>I would love something special that but I knew that

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<v Speaker 2>didn't take a lot of It is not a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of money, but it took some thoughts.

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<v Speaker 5>Okay, So no, no, I was just gonna say on

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<v Speaker 5>the flip side, because you know, if you say I

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<v Speaker 5>don't want anything, no you do and or not you

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<v Speaker 5>but I mean me, I want something.

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<v Speaker 2>But is there No, it's because you don't have kids. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I promise you it'll change you. I truly will. You'll

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<v Speaker 2>have everything.

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<v Speaker 5>Okay, but is there something special about Like let's say you.

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<v Speaker 4>Say Mike, I don't want anything.

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<v Speaker 5>I don't want anything, and he gives you a handwritten

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<v Speaker 5>letter from Jolie and you think that's your present, but

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<v Speaker 5>then all of.

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<v Speaker 4>A sudden he got you.

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<v Speaker 5>A new no like Gucci purse or something that that

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<v Speaker 5>you weren't expecting, you didn't want, and it was just like, wow,

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<v Speaker 5>I didn't even you know that.

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<v Speaker 2>Every once in a while, Sure that'd be so cool.

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<v Speaker 2>Sure I think it'd be a pleasant surprise. And I

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<v Speaker 2>think anyone would kind of want to feel special.

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<v Speaker 3>I could honestly say, like if Jane and I were like,

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<v Speaker 3>I don't believe you if if if we agreed and

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<v Speaker 3>we said, hey, we're not we're just gonna save money

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<v Speaker 3>because we go we tend to go a little overboard

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<v Speaker 3>with each other because we're both just very generous.

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<v Speaker 2>Last year we said a four hundred dollars budget for

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<v Speaker 2>each other.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, yeah, we went past that. So anyways, so

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<v Speaker 3>really I didn't. Okay, regardless, I could honestly be like,

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<v Speaker 3>all right, if we agree, hey, we're not gonna spend

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<v Speaker 3>any money on each other at all and not do anything,

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<v Speaker 3>I'll be okay, cool, No, we do. But I still

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<v Speaker 3>feel like, come Christmas morning, if you didn't open something,

0:10:43.200 --> 0:10:45.360
<v Speaker 3>you kind of be like, oh.

0:10:44.880 --> 0:10:46.880
<v Speaker 2>So, then why do we say because I don't. I

0:10:46.880 --> 0:10:49.240
<v Speaker 2>don't think that when you said I just want to

0:10:49.320 --> 0:10:51.640
<v Speaker 2>redo your car, that you would be bummed if you

0:10:51.640 --> 0:10:52.400
<v Speaker 2>didn't open something.

0:10:52.600 --> 0:10:55.280
<v Speaker 3>I would not. That's the difference between men and women.

0:10:55.559 --> 0:10:58.440
<v Speaker 3>I all I want. I've told Jana this, but Janet

0:10:58.480 --> 0:11:01.160
<v Speaker 3>doesn't like this because he does get anything out of it.

0:11:01.559 --> 0:11:03.840
<v Speaker 3>All I wanted to do was finally do some things

0:11:03.880 --> 0:11:05.439
<v Speaker 3>to my to my truck that have been wanting to

0:11:05.440 --> 0:11:06.120
<v Speaker 3>do for a long.

0:11:05.960 --> 0:11:07.559
<v Speaker 2>Time, which, by the way, he goes I want to

0:11:07.600 --> 0:11:09.040
<v Speaker 2>lift it, but don't worry. You won't notice it. And

0:11:09.080 --> 0:11:11.240
<v Speaker 2>I was like, don't You're gonna spend money on something no.

0:11:11.160 --> 0:11:14.120
<v Speaker 3>One will even know, Just like, wait, you guys go

0:11:14.160 --> 0:11:15.880
<v Speaker 3>get your hair done. Do we always notice? No, but

0:11:15.960 --> 0:11:16.800
<v Speaker 3>you spend money on it.

0:11:17.040 --> 0:11:17.400
<v Speaker 1>Boom.

0:11:18.520 --> 0:11:21.880
<v Speaker 3>I'm just saying. So the whole thing is I mean

0:11:21.920 --> 0:11:23.320
<v Speaker 3>that when I say, honey, all I want to do

0:11:23.360 --> 0:11:25.360
<v Speaker 3>is stuff in my truck, Like, don't spend another dime

0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:27.360
<v Speaker 3>on me. No part of me would be upset Christmas

0:11:27.400 --> 0:11:30.680
<v Speaker 3>morning because I believe you and God bless my wife.

0:11:30.880 --> 0:11:34.720
<v Speaker 3>She's always trying to like give me things. But every year,

0:11:34.840 --> 0:11:36.600
<v Speaker 3>for like the last five years of a relationship, she

0:11:36.600 --> 0:11:39.040
<v Speaker 3>tries to get me to wear sweaters. She wants me

0:11:39.320 --> 0:11:40.800
<v Speaker 3>to be a sweaterwear.

0:11:40.679 --> 0:11:43.200
<v Speaker 4>So bad, to be a sweater guy so badly.

0:11:43.320 --> 0:11:46.280
<v Speaker 3>And I'm finally I'm to the point where I'm like, honey,

0:11:46.400 --> 0:11:48.200
<v Speaker 3>and the best thing was, I think it was last

0:11:48.280 --> 0:11:50.360
<v Speaker 3>year or two years ago she got me a ring.

0:11:50.720 --> 0:11:53.040
<v Speaker 3>And for the first few years of our marriage, Jara,

0:11:53.120 --> 0:11:55.600
<v Speaker 3>it's a beautiful Janna has tried to make me like

0:11:55.800 --> 0:11:58.720
<v Speaker 3>a ring accessory wear. I'm not. I wear my running band.

0:11:58.840 --> 0:12:02.000
<v Speaker 2>That's it ring from the black one that I got.

0:12:01.920 --> 0:12:03.880
<v Speaker 3>Right, but I usually will replace that with my wedding

0:12:03.960 --> 0:12:06.679
<v Speaker 3>band if I wear it. So finally, last year or

0:12:06.720 --> 0:12:08.920
<v Speaker 3>the year before, Jana went above and beyond got me

0:12:08.960 --> 0:12:10.400
<v Speaker 3>like a Cardier Men's love ring.

0:12:10.600 --> 0:12:13.440
<v Speaker 4>She wants him to be a sweater wearing Cardier love it.

0:12:13.640 --> 0:12:16.640
<v Speaker 3>Yeah. Yes, And so I had had this discussion, like

0:12:16.679 --> 0:12:20.080
<v Speaker 3>with my close buddy in La Garrett, and I was like, look, man,

0:12:20.440 --> 0:12:22.320
<v Speaker 3>I know this is like a fifteen hundred dollars ring

0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:24.400
<v Speaker 3>or whatever it is. I'm not gonna wear it, but

0:12:24.440 --> 0:12:26.240
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna feel like I have to, but I don't

0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:28.320
<v Speaker 3>want to. So what I finally manned up and had

0:12:28.360 --> 0:12:31.560
<v Speaker 3>a conversation with Jana and being like, man, I love

0:12:31.679 --> 0:12:34.719
<v Speaker 3>you so much, I'm not gonna wear this.

0:12:35.000 --> 0:12:36.880
<v Speaker 2>Do you know that Garrett prepped me for that?

0:12:37.720 --> 0:12:38.880
<v Speaker 3>Did he He did? Smart?

0:12:38.920 --> 0:12:39.120
<v Speaker 6>Man?

0:12:39.440 --> 0:12:40.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he prepped me.

0:12:40.960 --> 0:12:43.440
<v Speaker 3>So that's the thing. We see that like we mean it.

0:12:43.480 --> 0:12:46.160
<v Speaker 3>And so finally I'm like Ganna in my head, I'm like,

0:12:46.160 --> 0:12:50.320
<v Speaker 3>I don't want another sweater. I want another cardigan or ring.

0:12:50.760 --> 0:12:52.439
<v Speaker 3>This is what I want. You asked me what I

0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:54.800
<v Speaker 3>want for Christmas? This is what I want. What Janna

0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:55.960
<v Speaker 3>wants to do what do you want?

0:12:56.280 --> 0:12:57.840
<v Speaker 4>She's like, what do you want for Christmas? And then

0:12:57.840 --> 0:12:59.559
<v Speaker 4>she's like, I don't like that.

0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:02.000
<v Speaker 3>That's not the that's not gonna work for me. This

0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:03.040
<v Speaker 3>is what I want to buy you.

0:13:03.480 --> 0:13:04.840
<v Speaker 4>But guys are the opposite.

0:13:04.920 --> 0:13:06.800
<v Speaker 5>It's like, this is what I want for Christmas and

0:13:06.840 --> 0:13:09.720
<v Speaker 5>then done for me exactly.

0:13:09.320 --> 0:13:12.040
<v Speaker 2>But it's just like nothing. You don't want to open anything.

0:13:12.120 --> 0:13:12.720
<v Speaker 3>I don't care.

0:13:13.440 --> 0:13:16.439
<v Speaker 2>Okay, Well get him a gag gift.

0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:17.360
<v Speaker 4>You know those are always fun.

0:13:18.160 --> 0:13:22.160
<v Speaker 2>Well, I mean I got a few things, but I

0:13:22.280 --> 0:13:24.480
<v Speaker 2>just I just want you to I don't believe you.

0:13:24.559 --> 0:13:26.440
<v Speaker 2>But maybe that's because I I know that maybe I

0:13:26.440 --> 0:13:27.800
<v Speaker 2>don't believe myself when I say that.

0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:32.839
<v Speaker 3>For here here's the catch. Here's the catch too, right,

0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:35.520
<v Speaker 3>I tell Jane what I want. We discussed o budget

0:13:36.160 --> 0:13:39.839
<v Speaker 3>and now we just discussed it again the other night

0:13:40.280 --> 0:13:42.960
<v Speaker 3>and she cut it down by a little bit amount.

0:13:43.000 --> 0:13:46.800
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, wait, no, we discussed this amount. She's like, oh, oh,

0:13:46.840 --> 0:13:49.600
<v Speaker 3>you're actually gonna okay. I'm like, just because you've bought

0:13:49.679 --> 0:13:51.360
<v Speaker 3>me some things even though I told you not to,

0:13:51.600 --> 0:13:53.600
<v Speaker 3>you can't take that off of my budget of what

0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:54.880
<v Speaker 3>I want for Christmas.

0:13:57.640 --> 0:13:59.840
<v Speaker 5>And you get him presents from the kids, Like maybe

0:13:59.840 --> 0:14:00.840
<v Speaker 5>that counts as the present.

0:14:01.200 --> 0:14:04.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I've got him. Jayce got him something and Jolie

0:14:04.080 --> 0:14:07.120
<v Speaker 2>got him something, so be there. I yeah, no, I

0:14:07.200 --> 0:14:08.720
<v Speaker 2>and then yeah, I got him like a few other things.

0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:10.240
<v Speaker 2>But I did ask him the other day. I was like,

0:14:10.520 --> 0:14:12.079
<v Speaker 2>are you sure you don't want to wear a sweater?

0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:15.000
<v Speaker 2>Because I found a really nice one. Oh sure, She's

0:14:15.000 --> 0:14:21.320
<v Speaker 2>like it's rag and bone. It was. I just was like,

0:14:21.400 --> 0:14:23.160
<v Speaker 2>I love him in a sweater. I think he looks

0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:25.680
<v Speaker 2>so handsome in a sweater, Like I just it's my

0:14:25.680 --> 0:14:27.400
<v Speaker 2>favorite look of his, just so handsome.

0:14:29.080 --> 0:14:31.520
<v Speaker 5>See that's another difference with guys. He just doesn't care.

0:14:31.720 --> 0:14:33.560
<v Speaker 5>Tis like I really love you in this. I'm like, here,

0:14:33.600 --> 0:14:36.720
<v Speaker 5>I am five days in a row. But I tell

0:14:36.720 --> 0:14:38.120
<v Speaker 5>a guy you like him in a sweater and he'd

0:14:38.200 --> 0:14:39.360
<v Speaker 5>rather die than wear a sweater.

0:14:39.440 --> 0:14:40.920
<v Speaker 4>So interesting how that works.

0:14:41.000 --> 0:14:42.920
<v Speaker 2>It's so it's so funny. He's like, oh, like you

0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:44.480
<v Speaker 2>and hats am I wearing a hat almost every single

0:14:44.560 --> 0:14:44.960
<v Speaker 2>day though.

0:14:48.600 --> 0:14:49.160
<v Speaker 3>That for years?

0:14:49.200 --> 0:14:51.120
<v Speaker 2>I know, But it's so funny. How like, but if

0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:53.200
<v Speaker 2>we tell you you don't care, but a girl would

0:14:53.200 --> 0:14:55.400
<v Speaker 2>be like, we will wear that every single day, Like

0:14:55.480 --> 0:14:56.400
<v Speaker 2>Sarah just said.

0:14:56.880 --> 0:15:00.520
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, well, just get each other present because I feel

0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:02.520
<v Speaker 5>like it's just the you know, it's the holidays and

0:15:02.520 --> 0:15:04.400
<v Speaker 5>it's nice to sit around with your family and just

0:15:04.480 --> 0:15:06.560
<v Speaker 5>open presence and the kit. You know, Julie probably likes

0:15:06.600 --> 0:15:07.480
<v Speaker 5>to see you guys open.

0:15:07.560 --> 0:15:09.479
<v Speaker 4>It's fun and you know, again.

0:15:09.240 --> 0:15:10.880
<v Speaker 2>I think it's just the meaningful and I think when

0:15:10.920 --> 0:15:13.040
<v Speaker 2>you do have kids too, especially with our like family

0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:15.880
<v Speaker 2>and moms and brothers, we don't want we don't want anything.

0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:18.600
<v Speaker 2>It's stuff for the kids, for the kids. Yea thing

0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:20.120
<v Speaker 2>like please don't exactly.

0:15:20.680 --> 0:15:24.000
<v Speaker 7>Well, you know, it's a great gift you mentioned before.

0:15:24.880 --> 0:15:28.760
<v Speaker 1>The Drink Works Home bar by curric mag Grats is

0:15:28.760 --> 0:15:31.840
<v Speaker 1>great too, honestly, but we have a Drink Works Home

0:15:31.880 --> 0:15:33.320
<v Speaker 1>bar by here in the studio.

0:15:33.400 --> 0:15:35.040
<v Speaker 4>I'm looking at it and I'm liking it, and we

0:15:35.080 --> 0:15:35.880
<v Speaker 4>have some pods.

0:15:36.040 --> 0:15:37.840
<v Speaker 7>Sarah, you are going to be in.

0:15:37.840 --> 0:15:41.280
<v Speaker 5>Our barroom, in our barroom, a little great thing because

0:15:41.560 --> 0:15:43.560
<v Speaker 5>it's right there on the it's right there on the shelf.

0:15:43.600 --> 0:15:44.720
<v Speaker 7>It doesn't take up a lot of space.

0:15:45.120 --> 0:15:47.239
<v Speaker 4>It fits right in and it's beautiful.

0:15:47.560 --> 0:15:51.160
<v Speaker 2>I mean, it's it honestly, is is so incredibly easy. Okay,

0:15:51.160 --> 0:15:55.120
<v Speaker 2>So Sarah, you've got the pod right there. So Mark,

0:15:55.520 --> 0:15:57.520
<v Speaker 2>why don't you guys make a little cocktail right now?

0:15:57.520 --> 0:15:58.800
<v Speaker 2>For Sarah? Which one are you thing?

0:15:58.840 --> 0:16:00.840
<v Speaker 7>Sarah? Well? Motion should I do?

0:16:01.120 --> 0:16:03.800
<v Speaker 5>Should I go with a little ginger snap white Russian?

0:16:03.960 --> 0:16:05.160
<v Speaker 5>Or a little pised punch?

0:16:05.240 --> 0:16:06.000
<v Speaker 4>I mean, what time is it?

0:16:06.040 --> 0:16:07.920
<v Speaker 7>Do you carewer spritzer?

0:16:07.920 --> 0:16:10.600
<v Speaker 4>And I would love a pomegranate elderflower sprats?

0:16:10.720 --> 0:16:12.760
<v Speaker 1>There it is, Consider it done. You're gonna hear it

0:16:12.800 --> 0:16:14.560
<v Speaker 1>humming in just a moment here.

0:16:14.320 --> 0:16:16.920
<v Speaker 2>Let you guys have you guys have a cure for coffee,

0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:19.080
<v Speaker 2>but now you have a cure for cocktails. And you

0:16:19.120 --> 0:16:22.480
<v Speaker 2>just press a button and it's like bam. It's so awesome.

0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:24.480
<v Speaker 2>They're great for parties. We actually just use it the

0:16:24.520 --> 0:16:25.560
<v Speaker 2>other day for our game night.

0:16:25.960 --> 0:16:26.440
<v Speaker 7>What did you do?

0:16:26.480 --> 0:16:28.560
<v Speaker 1>Who's the bartender in your family? Or did you put

0:16:28.560 --> 0:16:29.760
<v Speaker 1>it on self serve mode?

0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:31.160
<v Speaker 2>Oh? Self serve mode?

0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:35.680
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, the bartender, Mike, he's gone strong.

0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:37.240
<v Speaker 2>I usually just pour the wine.

0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:39.160
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I gotta I got a heavy hand. So this

0:16:39.240 --> 0:16:40.880
<v Speaker 3>is this is more for people. I Mike, look, you

0:16:40.880 --> 0:16:43.920
<v Speaker 3>have some more options here. Have at it. It's all you.

0:16:43.920 --> 0:16:45.760
<v Speaker 1>You don't worry about a heavy hand anymore. This thing

0:16:45.760 --> 0:16:49.200
<v Speaker 1>makes it perfect every time, every time, and they are delicious.

0:16:49.440 --> 0:16:51.520
<v Speaker 2>There's it's so good. Honestly, it's the best gift for

0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:56.280
<v Speaker 2>a dad. I mean, Sarah, yes, and he loves to

0:16:56.320 --> 0:16:58.640
<v Speaker 2>mix up for drinks. The market one's so good.

0:16:58.920 --> 0:16:59.120
<v Speaker 6>You know.

0:16:59.160 --> 0:17:01.240
<v Speaker 8>The thing that's amazing it So I don't drink, so

0:17:01.240 --> 0:17:03.080
<v Speaker 8>I don't know how to make any drinks. But now

0:17:03.080 --> 0:17:06.440
<v Speaker 8>I can have people over and like guys and be like, oh,

0:17:06.520 --> 0:17:08.400
<v Speaker 8>I'll make you a margarita, which I have no idea

0:17:08.440 --> 0:17:11.320
<v Speaker 8>what's even in a margarita? But now I can totally

0:17:11.440 --> 0:17:14.280
<v Speaker 8>do it and be like, excuse me, can I make

0:17:14.320 --> 0:17:15.119
<v Speaker 8>you a Winter mule?

0:17:15.400 --> 0:17:18.400
<v Speaker 2>I'll take it, no, one thousand percent. It's it's it's

0:17:18.440 --> 0:17:19.960
<v Speaker 2>same for me because I'm like, I don't all I

0:17:20.040 --> 0:17:22.320
<v Speaker 2>do is drink wine. So with the you know, the

0:17:22.400 --> 0:17:24.720
<v Speaker 2>drink works, I can just be like they're like, oh wow, Jane,

0:17:24.720 --> 0:17:26.560
<v Speaker 2>I really stepped up your game. I'm like, nah, took

0:17:26.600 --> 0:17:27.280
<v Speaker 2>two seconds.

0:17:27.840 --> 0:17:28.040
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:29.719
<v Speaker 8>It's so easy, and I feel like it gives us

0:17:29.760 --> 0:17:33.919
<v Speaker 8>crib especially with dudes. Like a girl gets this and

0:17:33.960 --> 0:17:36.160
<v Speaker 8>then she can just look like a hero to all

0:17:36.240 --> 0:17:37.520
<v Speaker 8>the guides.

0:17:37.160 --> 0:17:38.480
<v Speaker 4>Her dad's gotta be.

0:17:39.280 --> 0:17:42.240
<v Speaker 3>Your cosmos for your girlfriends. Anything else for guys want

0:17:42.320 --> 0:17:42.520
<v Speaker 3>to get.

0:17:42.640 --> 0:17:45.480
<v Speaker 2>There's a variety of drink Works pod collections. They include

0:17:45.520 --> 0:17:50.040
<v Speaker 2>classic and specialty cocktail offerings and signature of mixers. And

0:17:50.640 --> 0:17:53.760
<v Speaker 2>I love them so much and I've also posted about

0:17:53.760 --> 0:17:56.720
<v Speaker 2>them too on my Instagram. That's how much I love them.

0:17:56.920 --> 0:18:00.000
<v Speaker 2>And now obviously we're bringing it here to the podcast

0:18:00.040 --> 0:18:02.280
<v Speaker 2>and we're going to give you guys an awesome code,

0:18:02.359 --> 0:18:07.240
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0:18:11.000 --> 0:18:15.600
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0:18:15.840 --> 0:18:19.520
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0:18:19.560 --> 0:18:22.080
<v Speaker 2>do not wait. This amazing offer won't last and this

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<v Speaker 2>for one hundred dollars off gift gift one hundred at checkout.

0:18:32.680 --> 0:18:35.119
<v Speaker 3>And again remember it's just as easy as a Cure

0:18:35.320 --> 0:18:37.400
<v Speaker 3>because it's made by Cure. You get a water reservoir,

0:18:37.440 --> 0:18:39.520
<v Speaker 3>you got your pods with your drinks, you plug it in,

0:18:39.560 --> 0:18:42.400
<v Speaker 3>you're good to go, and it's sleek and sexy looking.

0:18:42.520 --> 0:18:44.560
<v Speaker 3>You can put it right on your counter and it

0:18:44.600 --> 0:18:45.520
<v Speaker 3>fits in with everything else.

0:18:45.560 --> 0:18:49.040
<v Speaker 2>It's fantastic because I'm a mom. Just please remember enjoy responsibly.

0:18:54.880 --> 0:18:57.680
<v Speaker 2>The holiday season is here. How do you thrive during

0:18:57.680 --> 0:19:00.720
<v Speaker 2>the holiday season? How do you balance sleep, holiday planning

0:19:00.760 --> 0:19:03.439
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0:19:09.359 --> 0:19:12.679
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<v Speaker 2>number dot com slash Jana hijine, Hey Hawaiia, Hi, thank you.

0:20:15.920 --> 0:20:18.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm so flaccd. Actually I like doing this.

0:20:19.960 --> 0:20:22.840
<v Speaker 6>He too. I'm sorry for being so difficult to track down.

0:20:22.960 --> 0:20:25.479
<v Speaker 2>My goodness. No, you're a busy man, and you've got

0:20:25.480 --> 0:20:27.040
<v Speaker 2>a busy life, and you've got a bunch of kids.

0:20:27.040 --> 0:20:29.359
<v Speaker 2>So we totally totally get.

0:20:29.240 --> 0:20:31.320
<v Speaker 6>It all on the kids.

0:20:31.400 --> 0:20:33.400
<v Speaker 4>Oh, I can't wait to do that when you have six?

0:20:35.040 --> 0:20:37.760
<v Speaker 2>What are the ages? Everyone just took a real big like.

0:20:39.800 --> 0:20:40.639
<v Speaker 4>That's amazing.

0:20:42.280 --> 0:20:48.160
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, it's it's it's amazing. No, I'm kidding, it is amazing.

0:20:48.400 --> 0:20:50.720
<v Speaker 2>Did she want more kids or was it something you

0:20:50.720 --> 0:20:53.040
<v Speaker 2>guys mutually agreed on or is it just kind of like, oh, hey,

0:20:53.040 --> 0:20:53.840
<v Speaker 2>we're pregnant again.

0:20:53.960 --> 0:20:55.400
<v Speaker 6>We didn't. We didn't plan any of it.

0:20:55.960 --> 0:20:56.320
<v Speaker 3>We didn't.

0:20:56.359 --> 0:20:58.399
<v Speaker 6>We didn't. Yeah, the first one we had, we had Liam,

0:20:58.440 --> 0:21:01.000
<v Speaker 6>and then fifteen months later we had Stella, and then

0:21:01.200 --> 0:21:03.800
<v Speaker 6>there was like a four year break, and then we

0:21:03.920 --> 0:21:07.840
<v Speaker 6>had Hattie, and then ten months later we had Finn.

0:21:07.920 --> 0:21:09.080
<v Speaker 6>So we have Irish twins.

0:21:09.480 --> 0:21:09.800
<v Speaker 4>Wow.

0:21:10.000 --> 0:21:12.040
<v Speaker 6>Oh wow, and another four year break and then we

0:21:12.080 --> 0:21:15.440
<v Speaker 6>had bo Wow. Yeah. And I thought I thought after

0:21:15.520 --> 0:21:17.760
<v Speaker 6>Finn we were we were done. I just turned fifty.

0:21:18.280 --> 0:21:21.439
<v Speaker 6>You know, Tory was in her forties, early forties, so

0:21:21.480 --> 0:21:23.960
<v Speaker 6>we just thought everything was kind of taking its natural

0:21:24.000 --> 0:21:25.320
<v Speaker 6>course and not working anymore.

0:21:25.400 --> 0:21:28.280
<v Speaker 4>Nope, surprise, surprise.

0:21:28.880 --> 0:21:31.560
<v Speaker 6>Yeah. So being having a having a two and a

0:21:31.560 --> 0:21:33.560
<v Speaker 6>half year old at fifty three, that's a party.

0:21:33.920 --> 0:21:34.760
<v Speaker 4>So how old's oldest?

0:21:35.480 --> 0:21:37.960
<v Speaker 6>My oldest is twenty one for my first marriage, got it,

0:21:38.040 --> 0:21:40.480
<v Speaker 6>Jack is twenty one, and then my oldest with Tori

0:21:40.640 --> 0:21:44.040
<v Speaker 6>is twelve, so it goes twelve, eleven, eight, seven and

0:21:44.040 --> 0:21:44.640
<v Speaker 6>two and a half.

0:21:45.000 --> 0:21:45.520
<v Speaker 3>Wow.

0:21:45.880 --> 0:21:47.000
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, in it, just.

0:21:46.960 --> 0:21:48.320
<v Speaker 3>In the fin in it.

0:21:48.440 --> 0:21:50.120
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, we are looking at a hero.

0:21:51.480 --> 0:21:54.919
<v Speaker 6>Modern that. I'll take that. I've never heard that.

0:21:55.040 --> 0:21:56.480
<v Speaker 7>Wow, I've never heard that.

0:21:56.520 --> 0:21:58.600
<v Speaker 2>So we're just going to jump right into it. So

0:21:59.160 --> 0:22:03.639
<v Speaker 2>we we got you on the show because I can't remember.

0:22:04.119 --> 0:22:07.680
<v Speaker 2>I was just going through my Twitter like a month

0:22:07.760 --> 0:22:10.679
<v Speaker 2>or so ago, and it had a headline from US

0:22:10.720 --> 0:22:13.399
<v Speaker 2>Weekly and it was like, Dean McDermott offers advice to

0:22:13.600 --> 0:22:16.400
<v Speaker 2>you know, Janna and her husband. And I was like, oh,

0:22:16.600 --> 0:22:18.400
<v Speaker 2>I was like, this is interesting. I'm gonna click on this.

0:22:18.640 --> 0:22:21.040
<v Speaker 2>And I immediately texted our producer Amy and I was

0:22:21.040 --> 0:22:22.680
<v Speaker 2>just like, we have to get him on the show.

0:22:22.720 --> 0:22:25.320
<v Speaker 2>I know he has zero clue who we are, but

0:22:26.160 --> 0:22:28.720
<v Speaker 2>obviously and I knew that too when you had the interview,

0:22:28.720 --> 0:22:30.120
<v Speaker 2>I was like, Oh, poor guys. I don't know these

0:22:30.160 --> 0:22:31.479
<v Speaker 2>freaking people are they?

0:22:32.240 --> 0:22:34.720
<v Speaker 6>When they asked me, I honestly I didn't. I didn't know,

0:22:35.000 --> 0:22:37.359
<v Speaker 6>so I apologize don't know.

0:22:38.040 --> 0:22:40.600
<v Speaker 2>Zeroze no, no, zero zero, But I feel.

0:22:40.359 --> 0:22:41.080
<v Speaker 4>Like that's nothing.

0:22:41.560 --> 0:22:42.679
<v Speaker 6>I hope it was sound advice.

0:22:43.200 --> 0:22:45.400
<v Speaker 2>No, it was good. And I think what you said

0:22:45.440 --> 0:22:47.960
<v Speaker 2>basically is, you know, because our stuff has been so

0:22:48.119 --> 0:22:51.600
<v Speaker 2>public as well, and you know with you guys, is

0:22:51.960 --> 0:22:54.800
<v Speaker 2>you guys were kind of the the beginning of that.

0:22:54.840 --> 0:22:59.320
<v Speaker 2>I mean, when you guys shared all of your marriage struggles,

0:22:59.880 --> 0:23:02.200
<v Speaker 2>I feel like the people weren't ready for it yet.

0:23:02.240 --> 0:23:03.719
<v Speaker 2>And I think that's what you had said in your

0:23:04.119 --> 0:23:07.480
<v Speaker 2>interview too, Whereas it was just kind of WHOA, You're

0:23:07.480 --> 0:23:08.640
<v Speaker 2>sharing all this information?

0:23:09.720 --> 0:23:12.840
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, sharing it through through true Tory sharing it and

0:23:12.880 --> 0:23:16.879
<v Speaker 6>you know, sort of solving our problems in the town square. Yeah,

0:23:17.000 --> 0:23:21.480
<v Speaker 6>that was. That was It's really interesting looking back at

0:23:21.480 --> 0:23:26.080
<v Speaker 6>it because in the middle of it, the great thing

0:23:26.119 --> 0:23:28.920
<v Speaker 6>about it was it really sort of expedited us getting

0:23:28.960 --> 0:23:31.280
<v Speaker 6>into therapy and getting help and starting to talk about

0:23:31.280 --> 0:23:34.760
<v Speaker 6>this because you know, I've seen people go through this

0:23:34.800 --> 0:23:36.919
<v Speaker 6>before and they don't talk to each other and they

0:23:37.000 --> 0:23:40.480
<v Speaker 6>automatically just end things and it takes a really hard

0:23:41.040 --> 0:23:43.000
<v Speaker 6>it's really really hard to get them back together to

0:23:43.040 --> 0:23:45.439
<v Speaker 6>even start to talk to each other. So doing the

0:23:45.520 --> 0:23:48.720
<v Speaker 6>show really really got us together and got us talking

0:23:48.800 --> 0:23:53.000
<v Speaker 6>right away, which was great. But you know, looking at

0:23:53.000 --> 0:23:57.440
<v Speaker 6>it now, sort of solving your problems in the town square,

0:23:58.840 --> 0:23:59.679
<v Speaker 6>there's a price.

0:23:59.440 --> 0:24:02.800
<v Speaker 4>To it, you know, of course, well everyone can chime in.

0:24:02.800 --> 0:24:05.760
<v Speaker 6>Everyone and and and you know, we were doing it

0:24:06.520 --> 0:24:09.400
<v Speaker 6>with the you know, with with the thought of you know,

0:24:09.520 --> 0:24:14.480
<v Speaker 6>getting through it ourselves but also helping others. And and

0:24:14.560 --> 0:24:16.919
<v Speaker 6>but with that, we weren't thinking comes all the backlash

0:24:17.040 --> 0:24:20.199
<v Speaker 6>and the haters and all the naysayers. We just you know,

0:24:20.240 --> 0:24:22.960
<v Speaker 6>we were really positive about it, considering you know, how

0:24:23.040 --> 0:24:27.280
<v Speaker 6>negative what what I did was, you know, so it's

0:24:27.320 --> 0:24:29.240
<v Speaker 6>it was a really it was a slippery slope, and

0:24:29.480 --> 0:24:32.760
<v Speaker 6>once in a while we'll get stopped by people who say,

0:24:32.800 --> 0:24:34.960
<v Speaker 6>thank you very much for doing that, and and that

0:24:35.040 --> 0:24:37.320
<v Speaker 6>really helps. That makes it kind of worth, yea worth

0:24:37.400 --> 0:24:40.280
<v Speaker 6>going through all that stuff. But you're really, you're really

0:24:41.280 --> 0:24:43.840
<v Speaker 6>I felt like I was in one of those stockades

0:24:44.400 --> 0:24:45.320
<v Speaker 6>in the middle of town.

0:24:46.000 --> 0:24:48.160
<v Speaker 4>I cannot I say to them all the time.

0:24:48.240 --> 0:24:50.520
<v Speaker 6>People could throw tomatoes at me and tell me what

0:24:50.560 --> 0:24:53.640
<v Speaker 6>they thought of me, and you know, it really messed

0:24:53.680 --> 0:24:56.920
<v Speaker 6>with me. But you know, we we did it, and

0:24:56.920 --> 0:24:59.360
<v Speaker 6>and the great thing is is we worked it out

0:24:59.440 --> 0:25:02.400
<v Speaker 6>or together and things are stronger and better than ever.

0:25:03.640 --> 0:25:06.920
<v Speaker 3>I mean that sounds so identical and parallel and familiar

0:25:06.960 --> 0:25:10.560
<v Speaker 3>for us, all of that. And what was because I

0:25:10.560 --> 0:25:12.800
<v Speaker 3>feel like Dean, for you and I who they're the

0:25:12.800 --> 0:25:15.320
<v Speaker 3>ones who are the perpetrators and kind of did you

0:25:15.359 --> 0:25:19.080
<v Speaker 3>know the deed that kind of caused everything? What was

0:25:19.119 --> 0:25:23.040
<v Speaker 3>the moment that you and Tory decided Okay, let's address

0:25:23.080 --> 0:25:25.399
<v Speaker 3>this publicly and not keep it in house, because I

0:25:25.400 --> 0:25:27.600
<v Speaker 3>feel like that's the natural thing, right, especially for me.

0:25:27.720 --> 0:25:29.480
<v Speaker 3>I felt so much shame at the beginning. I just

0:25:29.480 --> 0:25:30.760
<v Speaker 3>wanted to be like, no, I don't want to talk

0:25:30.800 --> 0:25:33.040
<v Speaker 3>to anybody about it. Let's just keep it between us

0:25:33.040 --> 0:25:35.600
<v Speaker 3>and deal with it. So what kind of encouraged you

0:25:35.640 --> 0:25:37.560
<v Speaker 3>to come around and be like you know what, Tory,

0:25:37.640 --> 0:25:39.520
<v Speaker 3>let's you know, dressed this head on, like you said

0:25:39.560 --> 0:25:40.600
<v Speaker 3>in the town Square.

0:25:40.880 --> 0:25:47.000
<v Speaker 6>Right, Well, you know, we didn't have a choice in it,

0:25:47.720 --> 0:25:50.639
<v Speaker 6>you know, coming out you know, US US magazine broke

0:25:50.680 --> 0:25:55.560
<v Speaker 6>this story. You know, a friend of mine, I was

0:25:55.600 --> 0:25:58.520
<v Speaker 6>set up, like my friends sold the story. La la la,

0:25:59.640 --> 0:26:01.240
<v Speaker 6>a friend, a friend of twenty two years.

0:26:02.320 --> 0:26:06.600
<v Speaker 2>That's just my cars was my he was our wedding.

0:26:07.320 --> 0:26:10.359
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, we hear you on that. And it sucks, right.

0:26:10.280 --> 0:26:13.280
<v Speaker 6>Wow, Yeah, you know you and I we shouldn't have

0:26:13.320 --> 0:26:16.680
<v Speaker 6>been doing what we were doing, but it didn't need

0:26:16.720 --> 0:26:20.359
<v Speaker 6>to play out that way, you know, and our story

0:26:20.400 --> 0:26:21.320
<v Speaker 6>broke Christmas Eve.

0:26:21.640 --> 0:26:25.080
<v Speaker 7>Oh, I just got so again.

0:26:25.200 --> 0:26:28.040
<v Speaker 6>You know it's all my fault, but you know, but

0:26:28.080 --> 0:26:31.160
<v Speaker 6>it's done. So you know, we it was out there

0:26:31.200 --> 0:26:33.960
<v Speaker 6>and everybody had their opinion on it, and everybody had

0:26:34.000 --> 0:26:37.600
<v Speaker 6>something to say about it, and you know, we got

0:26:37.640 --> 0:26:40.520
<v Speaker 6>to a point where you know, it was just it

0:26:40.600 --> 0:26:45.000
<v Speaker 6>was out of control. You know, the headlines, you know

0:26:45.040 --> 0:26:48.199
<v Speaker 6>how they make them up, right, so you know this,

0:26:48.400 --> 0:26:51.520
<v Speaker 6>I'd been doing this for years and I was you know,

0:26:52.320 --> 0:26:55.000
<v Speaker 6>I wanted out of the marriage because I wasn't getting

0:26:55.040 --> 0:26:57.119
<v Speaker 6>any money from the family. Blah blah blah. All this

0:26:57.280 --> 0:27:00.240
<v Speaker 6>BS right. So we sat down and said, look, you

0:27:00.280 --> 0:27:04.680
<v Speaker 6>know what, everybody's got their opinion, so let's take this

0:27:04.720 --> 0:27:09.520
<v Speaker 6>opportunity to tell the truth. And so that's why we

0:27:09.600 --> 0:27:12.840
<v Speaker 6>came up with the idea and we were approached to

0:27:13.160 --> 0:27:17.040
<v Speaker 6>do true Tory. But even before that, you know, we

0:27:17.400 --> 0:27:20.560
<v Speaker 6>issued statements. But yeah, we just sat down and said,

0:27:20.680 --> 0:27:23.080
<v Speaker 6>enough of this. This is a circus, this is a sideshow.

0:27:23.720 --> 0:27:27.720
<v Speaker 6>There's so many things that are wrong that people are saying,

0:27:29.280 --> 0:27:33.199
<v Speaker 6>let's go public and let's tell our truth. And that's

0:27:33.240 --> 0:27:36.000
<v Speaker 6>what we did. And then then the show kicked in

0:27:36.040 --> 0:27:38.760
<v Speaker 6>and we got, you know, the opportunity to go even

0:27:38.880 --> 0:27:39.560
<v Speaker 6>farther with it.

0:27:41.520 --> 0:27:43.800
<v Speaker 2>I feel like, too, it's such a for your kids

0:27:43.840 --> 0:27:45.880
<v Speaker 2>as well. So that way they can see because they're

0:27:45.880 --> 0:27:47.600
<v Speaker 2>going to read about it, they would been able to

0:27:47.640 --> 0:27:51.119
<v Speaker 2>google it, and this way it's there, you're able to

0:27:51.160 --> 0:27:52.679
<v Speaker 2>say like, hey, this is what we've done, and this

0:27:52.720 --> 0:27:54.159
<v Speaker 2>is how we've been able to make it work. And

0:27:54.359 --> 0:27:56.240
<v Speaker 2>I feel like in a way, I know you kind

0:27:56.240 --> 0:27:57.960
<v Speaker 2>of dread that moment that the kids find out, but

0:27:57.960 --> 0:28:00.359
<v Speaker 2>at the same time, hopefully it's years down there, and

0:28:00.400 --> 0:28:02.000
<v Speaker 2>you're like, look but look at of how strong we

0:28:02.040 --> 0:28:04.000
<v Speaker 2>are now, and look what we've done, and look who

0:28:04.000 --> 0:28:05.480
<v Speaker 2>we've helped along the way.

0:28:06.160 --> 0:28:07.800
<v Speaker 3>I don't know, yeah, and I feel like i'd just

0:28:07.800 --> 0:28:10.320
<v Speaker 3>be like living another lie where you have to like

0:28:10.400 --> 0:28:13.000
<v Speaker 3>manage everyone around you, trying to make sure they don't

0:28:13.000 --> 0:28:15.320
<v Speaker 3>find out information and all that stuff. So it's like,

0:28:15.440 --> 0:28:17.680
<v Speaker 3>if it's out there, it is what it is.

0:28:18.680 --> 0:28:21.280
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, And I think, you know, once they start asking,

0:28:21.400 --> 0:28:23.880
<v Speaker 6>I think you have to kind of sort of nip

0:28:23.960 --> 0:28:25.359
<v Speaker 6>it in the bud for lack of a better word,

0:28:25.400 --> 0:28:29.280
<v Speaker 6>and tell them exactly what happened, because you know they're

0:28:29.280 --> 0:28:32.680
<v Speaker 6>going to read twenty different variations.

0:28:32.119 --> 0:28:34.120
<v Speaker 5>Of well and then they go to school and other

0:28:34.200 --> 0:28:37.200
<v Speaker 5>kids talk, and it's just I can't.

0:28:37.640 --> 0:28:40.480
<v Speaker 2>It for you that was was not missing. I don't

0:28:40.480 --> 0:28:42.000
<v Speaker 2>want to say I don't want to be insensitive to

0:28:42.040 --> 0:28:45.800
<v Speaker 2>like that, but you know, I know, like, okay, same

0:28:45.880 --> 0:28:48.480
<v Speaker 2>with Michael, like he's been unfaithful in every relationship he's

0:28:48.480 --> 0:28:51.080
<v Speaker 2>ever had. I know you had you chew on your

0:28:51.080 --> 0:28:53.600
<v Speaker 2>first wife, and then with this is did you see

0:28:53.640 --> 0:28:56.160
<v Speaker 2>an addictive pattern or was it just something where something

0:28:56.200 --> 0:28:59.240
<v Speaker 2>in yourself that you felt was missing.

0:29:03.480 --> 0:29:06.600
<v Speaker 6>I didn't see it as an addictive pattern. My first

0:29:06.680 --> 0:29:12.080
<v Speaker 6>marriage lasted for twelve years, and you know it, it

0:29:12.160 --> 0:29:15.600
<v Speaker 6>started to break down a long time ago, but you know,

0:29:17.440 --> 0:29:19.560
<v Speaker 6>I stayed with it because that's what I thought, you know,

0:29:19.640 --> 0:29:22.080
<v Speaker 6>that was that was it, that's the that's the best

0:29:22.080 --> 0:29:22.600
<v Speaker 6>it gets.

0:29:22.800 --> 0:29:23.000
<v Speaker 3>You know.

0:29:23.120 --> 0:29:26.720
<v Speaker 6>We had our son, Jack, who's amazing, and I just thought, okay, well,

0:29:26.760 --> 0:29:28.480
<v Speaker 6>you know, you have a kid, and and this is

0:29:28.480 --> 0:29:30.480
<v Speaker 6>what marriage is at a certain point, you know, like.

0:29:32.200 --> 0:29:32.480
<v Speaker 3>You know, I.

0:29:34.040 --> 0:29:36.479
<v Speaker 6>I I hesitated to say it was loveless because I

0:29:36.520 --> 0:29:38.960
<v Speaker 6>really cared for and I still do. She's a she's

0:29:39.000 --> 0:29:41.840
<v Speaker 6>a great woman. But it just, you know, that that spark,

0:29:41.920 --> 0:29:43.680
<v Speaker 6>that fire just wasn't there. And I thought, you know,

0:29:43.800 --> 0:29:46.200
<v Speaker 6>this is this is as good as it happened, this

0:29:46.320 --> 0:29:50.320
<v Speaker 6>is this is life. And then I met Torri when

0:29:50.360 --> 0:29:53.920
<v Speaker 6>we were working together in Ottawa, and I'd never felt

0:29:53.960 --> 0:29:57.120
<v Speaker 6>anything like that in my life. I'd never felt that connection.

0:29:57.440 --> 0:30:02.600
<v Speaker 6>From the moment we met, it was just you know, fireworks,

0:30:02.800 --> 0:30:08.840
<v Speaker 6>and I I just couldn't I couldn't resist. I couldn't resist,

0:30:08.840 --> 0:30:11.280
<v Speaker 6>but I also couldn't lie to myself anymore, Like I

0:30:11.400 --> 0:30:15.640
<v Speaker 6>kept distracting my things with distracting myself with different things,

0:30:15.680 --> 0:30:18.440
<v Speaker 6>you know, sports and golf and all these kind of things,

0:30:18.440 --> 0:30:22.440
<v Speaker 6>distracting myself from my first relationship to not face my unhappiness.

0:30:22.800 --> 0:30:25.800
<v Speaker 6>So once I met Torri, you know, we worked together

0:30:25.920 --> 0:30:30.160
<v Speaker 6>for three and a half weeks, and at the end

0:30:30.200 --> 0:30:31.479
<v Speaker 6>of the three and a half weeks, I'm like, I

0:30:31.520 --> 0:30:34.959
<v Speaker 6>can't walk away from this. I can't like this is

0:30:36.040 --> 0:30:38.440
<v Speaker 6>you know, you have a decision to make. You know,

0:30:38.520 --> 0:30:42.120
<v Speaker 6>you really really do you really have to grow a

0:30:42.160 --> 0:30:45.680
<v Speaker 6>pair and you know, do the right thing and get

0:30:45.720 --> 0:30:49.080
<v Speaker 6>out of your first marriage, because it's it's not fair

0:30:49.120 --> 0:30:51.960
<v Speaker 6>to her, it's not fair to Jack, and it's not

0:30:52.000 --> 0:30:54.680
<v Speaker 6>fair to me. I wasn't being honest with myself. I

0:30:54.720 --> 0:30:58.920
<v Speaker 6>met someone that I instantly fell in love with and

0:30:58.960 --> 0:31:02.840
<v Speaker 6>felt something I've never felt before my life. So that's

0:31:03.120 --> 0:31:04.960
<v Speaker 6>it was like I have to I have to man

0:31:05.040 --> 0:31:08.120
<v Speaker 6>up and I have to do the right thing. And then,

0:31:08.200 --> 0:31:12.800
<v Speaker 6>you know, so we dissolved the marriage. But it was

0:31:12.880 --> 0:31:16.200
<v Speaker 6>it was more out of a connection and love for

0:31:16.240 --> 0:31:19.240
<v Speaker 6>each other that we got together. It wasn't a cheating,

0:31:19.280 --> 0:31:20.120
<v Speaker 6>addictive pattern.

0:31:20.560 --> 0:31:22.960
<v Speaker 2>What about when you were married with Tori. Though when

0:31:24.160 --> 0:31:27.440
<v Speaker 2>that episode was that just like an episode.

0:31:29.080 --> 0:31:37.080
<v Speaker 6>That episode was about a combination of things. I suffer

0:31:37.120 --> 0:31:42.680
<v Speaker 6>from depression. I have clinical depression, and I can as

0:31:42.680 --> 0:31:44.840
<v Speaker 6>great as things can look on the outside, and how

0:31:44.840 --> 0:31:49.560
<v Speaker 6>happy and great my life looks on the outside. I

0:31:49.920 --> 0:31:53.040
<v Speaker 6>calmed a little. The angry little dwarf in my head

0:31:53.360 --> 0:31:57.080
<v Speaker 6>really beats the crap out of me. And I even

0:31:57.080 --> 0:31:59.640
<v Speaker 6>though you know, I was on I was hosting Chop Canada,

0:32:00.720 --> 0:32:03.840
<v Speaker 6>I had a cookbook coming out, like I was on

0:32:03.920 --> 0:32:07.480
<v Speaker 6>fire in the Food Network. I was incredibly unhappy and

0:32:07.520 --> 0:32:12.880
<v Speaker 6>hated myself and I started drinking and started using drugs

0:32:13.640 --> 0:32:20.240
<v Speaker 6>again and I needed to fill a hole and it

0:32:21.040 --> 0:32:23.640
<v Speaker 6>and it's really bizarre how it happened, like that's the

0:32:23.720 --> 0:32:26.280
<v Speaker 6>last thing I was looking for. I was. I was

0:32:26.320 --> 0:32:30.440
<v Speaker 6>just happy to just drink and party. I wasn't looking

0:32:30.520 --> 0:32:33.000
<v Speaker 6>for any kind of a hookup or anything like that

0:32:33.080 --> 0:32:35.320
<v Speaker 6>at all. It was it was the farthest thing from

0:32:35.320 --> 0:32:39.040
<v Speaker 6>my mind, and it just it just happened so easily

0:32:39.120 --> 0:32:40.800
<v Speaker 6>and just kind of out of the blue and laisse

0:32:40.920 --> 0:32:45.200
<v Speaker 6>fair and I went with it obviously without thinking, and

0:32:46.640 --> 0:32:50.760
<v Speaker 6>you know, was looking to fill this void and it

0:32:50.800 --> 0:32:54.040
<v Speaker 6>didn't fill the void. It created a chasm. You know,

0:32:54.120 --> 0:32:56.720
<v Speaker 6>I created the Grand Canyon with with doing what I did.

0:32:59.080 --> 0:33:01.960
<v Speaker 6>But you know, at the end of the day, going

0:33:02.000 --> 0:33:07.160
<v Speaker 6>through everything we've gone through, I'm amazed at the resolve

0:33:07.520 --> 0:33:12.920
<v Speaker 6>of my wife Tori. I thought for sure it was done.

0:33:13.560 --> 0:33:15.720
<v Speaker 6>I thought it was done. I just thought, why on

0:33:16.000 --> 0:33:20.080
<v Speaker 6>earth would you want to be with me? And it's

0:33:20.120 --> 0:33:22.200
<v Speaker 6>you know, it's it's funny, it's it's something that I've

0:33:22.240 --> 0:33:25.880
<v Speaker 6>maintained before this happened. As well as I was. I

0:33:25.920 --> 0:33:30.400
<v Speaker 6>was surprised that, you know, Tory Spelling was interested in me.

0:33:30.440 --> 0:33:32.240
<v Speaker 6>I'm like, why we're married, we have kids?

0:33:32.280 --> 0:33:32.680
<v Speaker 2>Like you?

0:33:32.840 --> 0:33:35.560
<v Speaker 6>I don't get it. Why me? Yeah, I still I

0:33:35.880 --> 0:33:40.400
<v Speaker 6>I didn't have that. I devalued myself. I didn't think

0:33:40.440 --> 0:33:43.160
<v Speaker 6>that highly of myself. I thought, I mean, I'm the

0:33:43.240 --> 0:33:46.920
<v Speaker 6>luckiest guy in the world, but not it's not worth

0:33:47.040 --> 0:33:50.480
<v Speaker 6>not worth worthy of this. And so when the affair happened,

0:33:50.480 --> 0:33:53.200
<v Speaker 6>I thought, it's it's done, it's over. It's she's gonna

0:33:53.200 --> 0:33:56.880
<v Speaker 6>walk away, and rightfully so. And and I you know,

0:33:56.920 --> 0:33:58.920
<v Speaker 6>I maintained that through you. If you see, if you

0:33:58.960 --> 0:34:00.880
<v Speaker 6>watch the show, I'll be like, why why are you

0:34:00.920 --> 0:34:03.120
<v Speaker 6>still doing this? Why are you with me? I you know,

0:34:03.120 --> 0:34:05.640
<v Speaker 6>I did something absolutely horrible to you, and she's she made.

0:34:05.520 --> 0:34:07.360
<v Speaker 2>Almost like you feel like you didn't deserve it too.

0:34:07.680 --> 0:34:09.080
<v Speaker 2>You know, It's like it's like you didn't feel like

0:34:09.080 --> 0:34:15.600
<v Speaker 2>you deserved it, so you just sabotage, sabotaged it. Yeah,

0:34:15.600 --> 0:34:16.359
<v Speaker 2>sabotaged it.

0:34:17.360 --> 0:34:21.799
<v Speaker 6>I'm sabotage. I'm really great at it. I've I've done it.

0:34:22.280 --> 0:34:24.319
<v Speaker 6>I mean, look at this armful of tattoos that I

0:34:24.320 --> 0:34:30.080
<v Speaker 6>absolutely love. But as an actor, good idea? Anybody anybody

0:34:30.080 --> 0:34:30.640
<v Speaker 6>gonna take on this?

0:34:31.960 --> 0:34:34.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, the greatest, but it's I mean, it looks really nice.

0:34:34.920 --> 0:34:38.200
<v Speaker 2>Where a lot of people that I talked to, one

0:34:38.200 --> 0:34:39.880
<v Speaker 2>of their biggest things is like how, And I know

0:34:39.920 --> 0:34:41.880
<v Speaker 2>this is something we've struggled with too, is how for

0:34:41.960 --> 0:34:47.360
<v Speaker 2>when when when me and Tory or we get upset

0:34:47.400 --> 0:34:51.000
<v Speaker 2>and triggered. What has helped you have empathy and stay

0:34:51.120 --> 0:34:54.200
<v Speaker 2>grounded and not go defensive? Because I feel like that's

0:34:54.320 --> 0:34:55.920
<v Speaker 2>been sort of an issue with us and a lot

0:34:55.920 --> 0:34:58.120
<v Speaker 2>of other women ask Michael that too, like what do

0:34:58.160 --> 0:35:00.160
<v Speaker 2>you what do you do? What are your tips and

0:35:00.160 --> 0:35:03.000
<v Speaker 2>and tricks for when that moment arises and you need

0:35:03.040 --> 0:35:06.560
<v Speaker 2>to be empathetic for maybe her feelings, but you're you know,

0:35:06.640 --> 0:35:09.400
<v Speaker 2>you feel shame, and you feel guilt and anger and

0:35:09.520 --> 0:35:10.720
<v Speaker 2>what you might feel.

0:35:14.280 --> 0:35:15.959
<v Speaker 6>Well, right out of the gate, you said something great

0:35:15.960 --> 0:35:19.640
<v Speaker 6>that you have to be empathetic to her, and absolutely,

0:35:19.840 --> 0:35:24.560
<v Speaker 6>you know that's that's a must. You know, when when

0:35:24.760 --> 0:35:27.320
<v Speaker 6>when she gets triggered. And I've been very, very fortunate

0:35:27.360 --> 0:35:31.360
<v Speaker 6>that Tori is so even keeled and so smart that

0:35:31.400 --> 0:35:33.480
<v Speaker 6>she's able to sort of think her way through these

0:35:33.480 --> 0:35:37.160
<v Speaker 6>things and look at the big picture. Very seldom has

0:35:37.200 --> 0:35:42.080
<v Speaker 6>she been triggered. But when she does get triggered, you know,

0:35:42.239 --> 0:35:45.640
<v Speaker 6>obviously your first your first instinct is to go in

0:35:45.680 --> 0:35:48.440
<v Speaker 6>the defensive. It's it's human nature. And I think you

0:35:48.480 --> 0:35:50.640
<v Speaker 6>have to as the man, as the perpetrator, you have

0:35:50.680 --> 0:35:52.319
<v Speaker 6>to sit back and go, okay, wait a second. You

0:35:52.360 --> 0:35:55.279
<v Speaker 6>gotta this is part of the process. You know, it's

0:35:55.360 --> 0:35:58.120
<v Speaker 6>it's going to go on for the rest of my life,

0:35:58.440 --> 0:36:03.160
<v Speaker 6>our life together, So you know, you better get good

0:36:03.160 --> 0:36:07.879
<v Speaker 6>at looking pausing, looking at the big picture, just going okay,

0:36:07.960 --> 0:36:11.640
<v Speaker 6>you know what, I gotta take my lumps, and you know,

0:36:11.840 --> 0:36:14.560
<v Speaker 6>I can't be so defensive. I've really got to have

0:36:14.600 --> 0:36:18.040
<v Speaker 6>an open mind here and really put myself in her shoes,

0:36:18.840 --> 0:36:21.440
<v Speaker 6>because once, once you get on the defensive, you just

0:36:21.520 --> 0:36:25.160
<v Speaker 6>kind of shut down and you can't see, you know,

0:36:25.880 --> 0:36:28.880
<v Speaker 6>the other person's point of view or their feelings. So

0:36:29.400 --> 0:36:37.080
<v Speaker 6>you just gotta shut the f up. Listen, be empathetic, sympathetic,

0:36:37.239 --> 0:36:42.840
<v Speaker 6>and just just love her, and you know what, just

0:36:42.880 --> 0:36:46.640
<v Speaker 6>be thankful that she's still in your life, because it's

0:36:46.640 --> 0:36:49.719
<v Speaker 6>so easily could have gone the other way. You know,

0:36:50.320 --> 0:36:52.440
<v Speaker 6>you could be you could be sitting in an apartment

0:36:52.440 --> 0:36:53.840
<v Speaker 6>rented apartment by yourself.

0:36:55.320 --> 0:36:58.520
<v Speaker 3>That's you know, that's funny you say that and everything,

0:36:59.200 --> 0:37:02.200
<v Speaker 3>Like I just feel like I'm watching myself talk about

0:37:02.239 --> 0:37:04.800
<v Speaker 3>these kind of things being just in the similarities of

0:37:04.840 --> 0:37:07.720
<v Speaker 3>everything and that even just that last thing you said,

0:37:08.760 --> 0:37:16.719
<v Speaker 3>I almost have that uh sabotage mindset of I'll be

0:37:16.840 --> 0:37:18.560
<v Speaker 3>driving around Just the other day I was doing I

0:37:18.600 --> 0:37:20.480
<v Speaker 3>was driving around, and the part town I was in,

0:37:20.560 --> 0:37:24.080
<v Speaker 3>I saw some like you know, single bedroom apartments or

0:37:24.120 --> 0:37:27.200
<v Speaker 3>little houses, and I had this like anxiety of like,

0:37:27.560 --> 0:37:31.120
<v Speaker 3>that's where i'd probably be right now if you know,

0:37:31.280 --> 0:37:33.560
<v Speaker 3>things didn't work out the way they did, if Jana

0:37:33.640 --> 0:37:36.600
<v Speaker 3>wasn't strong enough to take me back, like how and

0:37:36.719 --> 0:37:39.440
<v Speaker 3>just like you said, how do I get this amazing,

0:37:39.440 --> 0:37:42.600
<v Speaker 3>beautiful woman, and it is just that self sabotage and

0:37:42.640 --> 0:37:45.239
<v Speaker 3>not good enough and everything like that. But it's again

0:37:45.280 --> 0:37:47.839
<v Speaker 3>that last thing you said, I literally I think about

0:37:47.880 --> 0:37:51.040
<v Speaker 3>that more than I definitely should. And that is healthy too,

0:37:51.040 --> 0:37:53.279
<v Speaker 3>where it's like that's where i'd probably be living right now,

0:37:53.320 --> 0:37:55.799
<v Speaker 3>That's where i'd probably be living, even though I know

0:37:55.800 --> 0:37:57.839
<v Speaker 3>I'd find a way to be successful, But still that

0:37:57.880 --> 0:38:02.640
<v Speaker 3>part of me is I, I really did everything I

0:38:02.680 --> 0:38:06.840
<v Speaker 3>could to ruin this relationship, in this family. Why do

0:38:06.920 --> 0:38:08.520
<v Speaker 3>I deserve to still be here? Why am I not

0:38:08.600 --> 0:38:13.600
<v Speaker 3>there in that one bedom apartment. It's just it's tough,

0:38:13.600 --> 0:38:15.040
<v Speaker 3>and I think that's one of those things, just like

0:38:15.040 --> 0:38:18.080
<v Speaker 3>you talked about with the triggers with them, is that

0:38:18.400 --> 0:38:21.200
<v Speaker 3>shame there's gonna be part of it, at least for

0:38:21.239 --> 0:38:23.560
<v Speaker 3>me right now, because I mean we're only three and

0:38:23.560 --> 0:38:27.480
<v Speaker 3>a half years post discovery of everything, but I feel

0:38:27.480 --> 0:38:29.160
<v Speaker 3>like a part of that shame is still gonna be

0:38:29.200 --> 0:38:31.600
<v Speaker 3>there for a long time where it's like a part

0:38:31.600 --> 0:38:34.799
<v Speaker 3>of me is still maybe try to convince myself I'm

0:38:34.880 --> 0:38:37.680
<v Speaker 3>undeserving or whatever it may be. And it's just that

0:38:37.719 --> 0:38:41.040
<v Speaker 3>fleeting moment for a second on a day. It doesn't

0:38:41.080 --> 0:38:43.640
<v Speaker 3>overtake me. It doesn't all day. It's just that fleeting

0:38:43.680 --> 0:38:45.640
<v Speaker 3>second that you still feel that kind of humbles you

0:38:45.680 --> 0:38:48.680
<v Speaker 3>and grounds you enough to scare the out of you

0:38:49.680 --> 0:38:50.480
<v Speaker 3>of where things could be.

0:38:51.920 --> 0:38:54.880
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, hang on to that, Yeah, hang on to that

0:38:54.920 --> 0:38:57.839
<v Speaker 6>because it's it's a good reminder. I think that, you know,

0:38:57.920 --> 0:39:00.480
<v Speaker 6>this is where things could have gone. And it's interesting

0:39:01.120 --> 0:39:03.520
<v Speaker 6>you said you have these these moments of of of

0:39:03.560 --> 0:39:06.640
<v Speaker 6>the feeling, the shame and stuff and all have that

0:39:06.680 --> 0:39:14.600
<v Speaker 6>moment when somebody just looks at me funny, and it's

0:39:14.680 --> 0:39:17.319
<v Speaker 6>usually usually a female. If they kind of look at

0:39:17.320 --> 0:39:21.880
<v Speaker 6>me funny, I'm like, oh, she knows and she hates me.

0:39:22.160 --> 0:39:25.040
<v Speaker 3>She's yeah, yeah, you know.

0:39:27.040 --> 0:39:29.320
<v Speaker 6>And I've seen it where you know, Mr Tory and

0:39:29.360 --> 0:39:31.240
<v Speaker 6>I are out and they're like, oh, sorry, you're amazing,

0:39:31.520 --> 0:39:33.319
<v Speaker 6>we love you, and dah da dada, and then look

0:39:33.320 --> 0:39:35.760
<v Speaker 6>at me and completely ignore me. And I was like, oh,

0:39:35.960 --> 0:39:38.200
<v Speaker 6>they know and they hate me because I did what

0:39:38.239 --> 0:39:41.640
<v Speaker 6>I did, you know. And then so it's really but

0:39:41.800 --> 0:39:43.640
<v Speaker 6>at the same time though, it's it's great to have

0:39:43.719 --> 0:39:46.440
<v Speaker 6>those moments because it is it's like, yeah, you know what,

0:39:46.520 --> 0:39:50.000
<v Speaker 6>you you really messed up, You really messed up and

0:39:50.200 --> 0:39:52.040
<v Speaker 6>like I said, this is this is gonna happen. I'm

0:39:52.080 --> 0:39:53.799
<v Speaker 6>gonna have these feelings and we're gonna have to work

0:39:53.840 --> 0:39:55.400
<v Speaker 6>this out for the rest of our life together.

0:39:55.520 --> 0:39:57.160
<v Speaker 2>And when you say rest of your life, and I

0:39:57.200 --> 0:40:00.400
<v Speaker 2>know people have asked us too, it's like when like,

0:40:00.440 --> 0:40:02.719
<v Speaker 2>stop bringing it up, stop talking about it, and it's like,

0:40:02.800 --> 0:40:05.239
<v Speaker 2>I don't, I'm not, I don't want to bring it.

0:40:05.239 --> 0:40:07.800
<v Speaker 2>It's just unfortunately, it's just something that's gonna live there forever.

0:40:07.840 --> 0:40:10.080
<v Speaker 2>And now the magnitude of it isn't as big as

0:40:10.120 --> 0:40:12.120
<v Speaker 2>it was back in the day, but like through all

0:40:12.160 --> 0:40:14.279
<v Speaker 2>of our therapy that you know, I do personally and

0:40:14.320 --> 0:40:17.160
<v Speaker 2>he does, and we do together, but it is gonna Unfortunately,

0:40:17.200 --> 0:40:19.279
<v Speaker 2>I think Jason said that too when he was a

0:40:19.320 --> 0:40:20.680
<v Speaker 2>guest Inner Shadows.

0:40:20.719 --> 0:40:23.160
<v Speaker 3>Is that the book worthy of a true.

0:40:23.040 --> 0:40:24.920
<v Speaker 2>Worthy of a trust where it's like it is going

0:40:24.960 --> 0:40:27.000
<v Speaker 2>to be there forever. And that's something that I think

0:40:27.080 --> 0:40:31.600
<v Speaker 2>you've had a harder time too. And it's like because

0:40:31.600 --> 0:40:33.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, I don't, I wouldn't. I don't want it

0:40:33.880 --> 0:40:37.000
<v Speaker 2>to be there, and we try not to talk about Unfortunately,

0:40:37.040 --> 0:40:39.719
<v Speaker 2>now our podcast is now about that, but you know,

0:40:39.960 --> 0:40:43.880
<v Speaker 2>not about that but like about relationships and struggles and stuff.

0:40:43.920 --> 0:40:47.880
<v Speaker 2>But it's it's interesting and I almost feel not guilty, guilty,

0:40:47.880 --> 0:40:50.160
<v Speaker 2>but I I don't want you to always have to

0:40:50.200 --> 0:40:52.120
<v Speaker 2>feel shame when we do talk about it, no.

0:40:52.160 --> 0:40:54.919
<v Speaker 3>And like Dean saying, it's it's it's actually not even

0:40:55.360 --> 0:40:58.399
<v Speaker 3>reflective of maybe how when you guys are triggered. It's

0:40:58.440 --> 0:41:01.840
<v Speaker 3>more so kind of these other moments where Dean, I

0:41:01.880 --> 0:41:04.759
<v Speaker 3>appreciate what you just said, because we just we do

0:41:04.840 --> 0:41:06.879
<v Speaker 3>like we take this podcast on the road. We don't

0:41:06.880 --> 0:41:09.000
<v Speaker 3>record podcasts, but we do like an evening with kind

0:41:09.000 --> 0:41:11.200
<v Speaker 3>of show and it's me Janna and Sayah, they're sitting

0:41:11.200 --> 0:41:14.200
<v Speaker 3>next to you, and we do live shows and Jana

0:41:14.200 --> 0:41:16.719
<v Speaker 3>and I do like a meet and greet before the show.

0:41:16.800 --> 0:41:20.319
<v Speaker 3>And sometimes I have that feeling too, where I can

0:41:20.400 --> 0:41:22.799
<v Speaker 3>tell I can just feel someone's energy. I'm like, maybe

0:41:22.800 --> 0:41:24.480
<v Speaker 3>they don't want to stand next to me, not just

0:41:24.480 --> 0:41:26.879
<v Speaker 3>because they're huge fans of Jenna, but maybe it's because

0:41:26.880 --> 0:41:31.640
<v Speaker 3>I'm a sex addict. Maybe they have this weird misconceived

0:41:31.640 --> 0:41:34.200
<v Speaker 3>notion and judgment of a sex act and they think

0:41:34.239 --> 0:41:37.040
<v Speaker 3>there's some creep predator or whatever. I just go into

0:41:37.080 --> 0:41:38.560
<v Speaker 3>that shame and that's where I start going. I go

0:41:38.600 --> 0:41:40.520
<v Speaker 3>down that rabbit hole. I'm like, maybe that's why that

0:41:40.520 --> 0:41:44.000
<v Speaker 3>person didn't want to stand next to me. Maybe they are. Yeah,

0:41:44.080 --> 0:41:47.080
<v Speaker 3>it just it's that shame that just still eats your

0:41:47.080 --> 0:41:49.640
<v Speaker 3>soul a little bit. But I don't think it's to

0:41:49.680 --> 0:41:52.120
<v Speaker 3>the point where it's unhealthy anymore. It's to the point,

0:41:52.600 --> 0:41:54.399
<v Speaker 3>like you're saying, Dean, where it's like you hold onto

0:41:54.440 --> 0:41:56.600
<v Speaker 3>a little bit of that to scary straight and that's okay.

0:41:57.600 --> 0:41:59.879
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, yeah, And that's and that's our cross to bear,

0:42:00.120 --> 0:42:02.680
<v Speaker 6>you know, because we did what we did, and it's

0:42:02.760 --> 0:42:05.600
<v Speaker 6>just like, you know, tough, tough crap boys. You you

0:42:05.640 --> 0:42:09.319
<v Speaker 6>know you did this. You gotta you know, you got

0:42:09.400 --> 0:42:10.319
<v Speaker 6>to carry this cross well.

0:42:10.360 --> 0:42:12.399
<v Speaker 5>And I definitely get what you guys are saying about

0:42:12.400 --> 0:42:13.719
<v Speaker 5>the guys, But then I feel like it's kind of

0:42:13.719 --> 0:42:15.719
<v Speaker 5>the same probably for Tory and Janne. Like you know,

0:42:15.840 --> 0:42:17.360
<v Speaker 5>people may look at you guys and be like, oh,

0:42:17.400 --> 0:42:19.000
<v Speaker 5>look what he did, But then they might look at

0:42:19.040 --> 0:42:20.360
<v Speaker 5>Jane and Tory and be like, oh my god, I

0:42:20.400 --> 0:42:22.240
<v Speaker 5>can't believe she stayed with him, or I can't believe

0:42:22.239 --> 0:42:25.160
<v Speaker 5>she's with you know. It's it's also both sides and

0:42:25.200 --> 0:42:27.640
<v Speaker 5>it's probably not that it's not hard, but it's probably

0:42:27.680 --> 0:42:30.440
<v Speaker 5>harder for you know, Janet to be there, especially in

0:42:30.480 --> 0:42:32.720
<v Speaker 5>Tory in the beginning, you know, at the grocery store whatever,

0:42:32.800 --> 0:42:33.279
<v Speaker 5>walking with.

0:42:33.280 --> 0:42:35.279
<v Speaker 4>You, and then people be like, what, like she's still

0:42:35.320 --> 0:42:36.000
<v Speaker 4>with I don't know.

0:42:36.040 --> 0:42:38.440
<v Speaker 6>I feel like in the beginning that was there a

0:42:38.480 --> 0:42:39.879
<v Speaker 6>lot And I don't know if that was the same

0:42:39.920 --> 0:42:43.719
<v Speaker 6>for you. But you know, Tory would get you know,

0:42:43.920 --> 0:42:47.280
<v Speaker 6>comments and and and then especially social media.

0:42:47.120 --> 0:42:48.960
<v Speaker 4>Oh of course, like what are you doing? You're so dumb?

0:42:49.000 --> 0:42:51.720
<v Speaker 6>And you know the internet magazines they have the comment section,

0:42:51.800 --> 0:42:55.879
<v Speaker 6>and stay away from them, just stay away from any

0:42:55.960 --> 0:42:59.040
<v Speaker 6>comment section. But yeah, I know Tory would would get

0:42:59.040 --> 0:43:00.640
<v Speaker 6>a lot of flak for that, said, why would you

0:43:00.640 --> 0:43:02.239
<v Speaker 6>stay with it? He's a pig? Da da da da,

0:43:02.719 --> 0:43:06.680
<v Speaker 6>And you know that's that's something that you know, she

0:43:06.800 --> 0:43:08.600
<v Speaker 6>had to work through and and her, like I said,

0:43:08.600 --> 0:43:11.360
<v Speaker 6>her resolve was she was just she's so strong, she's

0:43:11.800 --> 0:43:15.600
<v Speaker 6>she just maintains like, Look, I'm really upset and hurt

0:43:15.640 --> 0:43:18.799
<v Speaker 6>by what he did, but I love him. He's the

0:43:18.800 --> 0:43:21.359
<v Speaker 6>love of my life. I can't turn that off, right,

0:43:21.480 --> 0:43:23.279
<v Speaker 6>and we have a family together, you know, I can't

0:43:23.280 --> 0:43:26.799
<v Speaker 6>walk away from that. So it's it's it's tough in

0:43:26.840 --> 0:43:29.279
<v Speaker 6>the beginning, and now it's it's it's turned. It's it's

0:43:29.320 --> 0:43:31.279
<v Speaker 6>totally turned. And now a lot of people are like,

0:43:31.320 --> 0:43:33.239
<v Speaker 6>you know, so glad you guys stayed together. You're a

0:43:33.239 --> 0:43:39.480
<v Speaker 6>great example. But you know, for it's funny, guys, we

0:43:39.520 --> 0:43:41.920
<v Speaker 6>want to we want everything, We want to fix everything

0:43:42.239 --> 0:43:44.680
<v Speaker 6>right and then be done. It's like, okay, put you know,

0:43:44.760 --> 0:43:46.400
<v Speaker 6>bundle this up in this need of the package.

0:43:46.440 --> 0:43:46.839
<v Speaker 3>It's done.

0:43:46.840 --> 0:43:49.600
<v Speaker 6>Okay, we don't have to talk about it anymore. But again,

0:43:49.680 --> 0:43:51.680
<v Speaker 6>you know, we that that's not going to happen in

0:43:51.719 --> 0:43:55.720
<v Speaker 6>that situation. And when I say, you know, you guys,

0:43:56.040 --> 0:43:58.920
<v Speaker 6>you'll have to carry this for the the rest of

0:43:58.960 --> 0:44:01.839
<v Speaker 6>your life, the same way that you'll carry your wedding

0:44:01.920 --> 0:44:03.600
<v Speaker 6>vows that you had for each other for the rest

0:44:03.600 --> 0:44:06.000
<v Speaker 6>of your life and those great moments, and it's like,

0:44:06.040 --> 0:44:10.200
<v Speaker 6>here's a bad moment that affected our relationship as good

0:44:10.200 --> 0:44:12.000
<v Speaker 6>as our vows were in our wedding day, was that

0:44:12.040 --> 0:44:13.920
<v Speaker 6>we'll remember for the rest of our lives. We're going

0:44:13.960 --> 0:44:15.879
<v Speaker 6>to remember this for the rest of our lives too,

0:44:16.320 --> 0:44:20.280
<v Speaker 6>this black mark, and it's just something that gets easier

0:44:20.280 --> 0:44:23.120
<v Speaker 6>with time. But it'll never ever go away. I think,

0:44:23.560 --> 0:44:24.640
<v Speaker 6>in my opinion, no.

0:44:24.560 --> 0:44:25.400
<v Speaker 3>I ever go away.

0:44:26.320 --> 0:44:29.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I wish there was a magic wand but at

0:44:29.040 --> 0:44:30.960
<v Speaker 2>the same time, I feel like it's made us stronger.

0:44:31.000 --> 0:44:34.720
<v Speaker 2>But I for someone you say, I guess I'm scared

0:44:34.920 --> 0:44:41.479
<v Speaker 2>moving on, Like marriage is only going to get harder

0:44:41.520 --> 0:44:44.400
<v Speaker 2>with the kids were we could potentially a lot of

0:44:44.400 --> 0:44:47.920
<v Speaker 2>people I don't see. I don't see a lot of

0:44:47.920 --> 0:44:50.279
<v Speaker 2>people really growing together. I see what people growing apart.

0:44:50.320 --> 0:44:53.320
<v Speaker 2>And I think that's always been kind of my fear is, oh, shoot,

0:44:53.560 --> 0:44:57.640
<v Speaker 2>I think I'm like pre menstrual. But no, cry no,

0:44:57.680 --> 0:45:00.120
<v Speaker 2>but I I just like my fear is, you know,

0:45:00.160 --> 0:45:02.919
<v Speaker 2>when they get in that situation or you know when hell,

0:45:02.920 --> 0:45:04.400
<v Speaker 2>it could be me too. What if I'm on a

0:45:04.400 --> 0:45:06.520
<v Speaker 2>movie set, you know, and I start to go into

0:45:06.520 --> 0:45:09.040
<v Speaker 2>my love addict ways, or it's like, what's the thing

0:45:09.080 --> 0:45:12.359
<v Speaker 2>that's going to stop you guys from maybe going down

0:45:12.400 --> 0:45:14.399
<v Speaker 2>that route again? And then it's like, hey, they're more

0:45:14.440 --> 0:45:17.960
<v Speaker 2>like twenty years in and like, you know, it's like

0:45:18.200 --> 0:45:20.520
<v Speaker 2>now then now what Now It's like our kids are

0:45:20.520 --> 0:45:22.400
<v Speaker 2>even older and now we've got twenty years of marriage,

0:45:22.400 --> 0:45:24.160
<v Speaker 2>and how could you then do it? I know, it's

0:45:24.160 --> 0:45:26.000
<v Speaker 2>all the what if game that you hate playing? But

0:45:26.040 --> 0:45:27.920
<v Speaker 2>I think that's what like lives within me because I'm like,

0:45:28.000 --> 0:45:30.400
<v Speaker 2>what's going to stop you the next go around?

0:45:31.239 --> 0:45:31.839
<v Speaker 3>Right? Right?

0:45:31.880 --> 0:45:32.600
<v Speaker 6>Future tripping?

0:45:32.760 --> 0:45:34.120
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? Terrible? I know.

0:45:34.239 --> 0:45:36.960
<v Speaker 2>And then like that's something massive that I've worked on

0:45:37.000 --> 0:45:39.759
<v Speaker 2>in therapy, but it's something that's like underground obviously, which

0:45:39.760 --> 0:45:40.640
<v Speaker 2>is why it's coming out.

0:45:40.840 --> 0:45:43.040
<v Speaker 3>Is that is that all primarily from us? Or does

0:45:43.080 --> 0:45:46.239
<v Speaker 3>it have to do with your parents divorcing as well

0:45:46.239 --> 0:45:47.880
<v Speaker 3>when you were.

0:45:47.239 --> 0:45:49.200
<v Speaker 2>I think there's something that I can dive deeper in

0:45:49.239 --> 0:45:52.319
<v Speaker 2>with the therapist, but I feel like it's a lot

0:45:52.320 --> 0:45:54.319
<v Speaker 2>when I think about it. It's like, you know, even

0:45:54.320 --> 0:45:57.279
<v Speaker 2>because they say once cheater, always a cheater, you know,

0:45:57.360 --> 0:46:02.520
<v Speaker 2>And I know it's different for you know, unfortunately addicts.

0:46:02.560 --> 0:46:05.160
<v Speaker 2>You know you today, you're healthy, Tomorrow we don't know.

0:46:05.640 --> 0:46:07.960
<v Speaker 2>But I guess that's just my fear. Is you know,

0:46:08.040 --> 0:46:11.200
<v Speaker 2>what's going to stop y'all from going down that road

0:46:11.239 --> 0:46:15.520
<v Speaker 2>again when that's an easy exit, exit trip, right?

0:46:15.600 --> 0:46:20.160
<v Speaker 6>I think that's about gaining trust in him again?

0:46:20.440 --> 0:46:22.840
<v Speaker 2>Is it about boundaries or staying grounded too? Like for

0:46:22.920 --> 0:46:24.440
<v Speaker 2>you guys to know kind of what you have and

0:46:24.480 --> 0:46:26.640
<v Speaker 2>it's just maybe a rough patch that you might be

0:46:26.760 --> 0:46:29.239
<v Speaker 2>in or if you're feeling bored in the relationship. I

0:46:29.239 --> 0:46:31.080
<v Speaker 2>guess that's what I'm getting at, Like, what if you

0:46:31.120 --> 0:46:33.080
<v Speaker 2>guys are like, I'm bored with this and I'm I don't,

0:46:33.280 --> 0:46:35.799
<v Speaker 2>I'm not. I don't know if I feel in love anymore. So,

0:46:35.880 --> 0:46:38.120
<v Speaker 2>but hey, here's something really shiny at a club or

0:46:38.160 --> 0:46:40.160
<v Speaker 2>at a bar, or at a grocery store. How do

0:46:40.200 --> 0:46:41.839
<v Speaker 2>you not go down aisle one.

0:46:43.080 --> 0:46:46.399
<v Speaker 6>Well, that's that's what's great about, you know, having those

0:46:46.440 --> 0:46:49.440
<v Speaker 6>reminders of like, this could have gone a completely different way.

0:46:49.840 --> 0:46:52.000
<v Speaker 6>So that's that's that's the great thing about having that

0:46:52.040 --> 0:46:54.839
<v Speaker 6>cross to bears, I did what I did. So you

0:46:54.920 --> 0:46:57.840
<v Speaker 6>have to always keep that in the forefront because it's like, yeah, Okay,

0:46:57.920 --> 0:47:00.160
<v Speaker 6>if I'm getting bored or I think the relationship of

0:47:00.200 --> 0:47:03.480
<v Speaker 6>stale and I see this shiny thing in the club, whoa,

0:47:03.800 --> 0:47:07.239
<v Speaker 6>I know that shiny thing in the club is going

0:47:07.280 --> 0:47:10.279
<v Speaker 6>to cost me my marriage and my family because I've

0:47:10.280 --> 0:47:13.000
<v Speaker 6>been there before. So that's the great thing about having

0:47:13.160 --> 0:47:19.319
<v Speaker 6>this this sort of a reminder. And you know, if

0:47:19.480 --> 0:47:24.160
<v Speaker 6>if you are feeling you know, bored, and you're even

0:47:24.200 --> 0:47:27.920
<v Speaker 6>thinking on, hey, you know what I'm feeling attracted to

0:47:27.960 --> 0:47:31.239
<v Speaker 6>other women. Talk about it, talk about it. You know,

0:47:31.320 --> 0:47:33.439
<v Speaker 6>I'm bored, you know, I'm tired of our sex life.

0:47:33.560 --> 0:47:37.400
<v Speaker 6>Talk about it. That's the best thing you can do.

0:47:37.960 --> 0:47:40.040
<v Speaker 2>Not maybe to your wife, but to somebody else.

0:47:40.840 --> 0:47:43.360
<v Speaker 4>I don't know if I want well, I don't know,

0:47:43.440 --> 0:47:45.640
<v Speaker 4>I mean, you know, or maybe have a sex life.

0:47:45.800 --> 0:47:49.760
<v Speaker 2>If you said, like I'm I'm I'm attracted to other people,

0:47:49.960 --> 0:47:51.480
<v Speaker 2>to tory or.

0:47:51.440 --> 0:47:53.840
<v Speaker 6>I'm feeling that, it's just like you know, but maybe

0:47:53.840 --> 0:47:56.879
<v Speaker 6>that's that's that's the wrong Wow, that's the wrong word.

0:47:56.920 --> 0:47:58.279
<v Speaker 6>I'm attracted other people.

0:47:58.080 --> 0:47:58.480
<v Speaker 5>Or just.

0:48:00.040 --> 0:48:03.080
<v Speaker 6>I know, I know, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just feeling

0:48:03.360 --> 0:48:06.400
<v Speaker 6>feeling like something's missing that and you know what, you

0:48:06.440 --> 0:48:08.840
<v Speaker 6>know what that is. I think if we're feeling attracted

0:48:08.880 --> 0:48:13.560
<v Speaker 6>to other people is because we're starting to hate on ourself.

0:48:14.920 --> 0:48:17.799
<v Speaker 6>We're really you know, that angry dwarf is going off

0:48:17.800 --> 0:48:20.680
<v Speaker 6>on our head again and digging us in a in

0:48:20.719 --> 0:48:24.000
<v Speaker 6>a hole, telling us we're worthless pieces of crap. So

0:48:24.040 --> 0:48:28.719
<v Speaker 6>we're we need we need to we need to feel attracted,

0:48:29.120 --> 0:48:31.120
<v Speaker 6>so we're gonna start kind of putting it out there

0:48:31.160 --> 0:48:32.799
<v Speaker 6>to other people. It's like, oh, she's kind of cute,

0:48:32.800 --> 0:48:35.040
<v Speaker 6>Maybe I'll flirt with her a little bit. I feel

0:48:35.080 --> 0:48:36.839
<v Speaker 6>fill that little hole a little bit. If you make

0:48:36.840 --> 0:48:41.400
<v Speaker 6>eye contact, you know it, talk about it, talk about it.

0:48:41.400 --> 0:48:43.360
<v Speaker 6>It's the best thing, the best thing I think you

0:48:43.360 --> 0:48:44.960
<v Speaker 6>can do. And that's the best thing that's works for.

0:48:44.960 --> 0:48:46.400
<v Speaker 3>Tory and I.

0:48:46.920 --> 0:48:49.040
<v Speaker 6>And as hard as it is, it's not easy to go, hey,

0:48:49.080 --> 0:48:51.400
<v Speaker 6>you know what I'm feeling. Really, I'm feeling bored in

0:48:51.440 --> 0:48:54.200
<v Speaker 6>the relationship, Like that's a tough conversation to have.

0:48:54.200 --> 0:48:54.480
<v Speaker 3>Have it.

0:48:55.680 --> 0:48:57.640
<v Speaker 2>I'd rather you have it than find it.

0:48:57.719 --> 0:49:00.680
<v Speaker 3>And then yeah, and it's all about.

0:49:00.360 --> 0:49:01.959
<v Speaker 2>For me too. I would say the same thing.

0:49:01.960 --> 0:49:07.640
<v Speaker 3>About delivery too. Sure, right, I can't be saying relationship right,

0:49:08.560 --> 0:49:09.960
<v Speaker 3>you know what I mean? So I feel like a

0:49:09.960 --> 0:49:12.080
<v Speaker 3>lot of times so people push it down until it

0:49:12.120 --> 0:49:12.560
<v Speaker 3>comes out.

0:49:13.040 --> 0:49:16.120
<v Speaker 6>But roller coaster, I'm tired of this.

0:49:17.440 --> 0:49:20.799
<v Speaker 3>Yeah. By the way, so let's uh, before we let

0:49:20.800 --> 0:49:22.680
<v Speaker 3>you go, Dean, let's transition out of that real quick.

0:49:22.680 --> 0:49:24.920
<v Speaker 3>And you're doing stand up now, how has that helped

0:49:24.960 --> 0:49:28.279
<v Speaker 3>you kind of kind of you know, manufacturer, What got

0:49:28.320 --> 0:49:31.120
<v Speaker 3>you into that? What helped you manufacture that kind of uh,

0:49:31.239 --> 0:49:33.680
<v Speaker 3>you know, entertainment and everything you want to do within that.

0:49:35.800 --> 0:49:39.640
<v Speaker 6>I've been a fan of comedy since I was nine

0:49:39.719 --> 0:49:41.560
<v Speaker 6>or ten years old. My dad came home with an

0:49:41.560 --> 0:49:44.360
<v Speaker 6>eight track. I don't know if you guys know what

0:49:44.400 --> 0:49:47.359
<v Speaker 6>an eight track is, A lot younger than I am.

0:49:47.400 --> 0:49:49.040
<v Speaker 6>So he came over with his eight track of Gene

0:49:49.080 --> 0:49:52.600
<v Speaker 6>Tracy and Jean Tracy was an old truck stop comedian

0:49:52.640 --> 0:49:54.600
<v Speaker 6>and he would tour all the truck stops in the South,

0:49:54.640 --> 0:49:57.839
<v Speaker 6>and he was filthy. He was filthy, like I'd learned

0:49:57.840 --> 0:50:01.680
<v Speaker 6>all about every sex physician and and he just made

0:50:01.680 --> 0:50:04.560
<v Speaker 6>every He just made people laugh. And so, you know,

0:50:04.800 --> 0:50:07.400
<v Speaker 6>from then on there, I you know, I discovered Red Fox,

0:50:07.520 --> 0:50:11.760
<v Speaker 6>and then Richard Pryor and Bob Newhart and Eddie Murphy

0:50:11.760 --> 0:50:13.600
<v Speaker 6>and then Robin Williams, and I was like, okay, this

0:50:13.680 --> 0:50:15.960
<v Speaker 6>is what I want to do. So when I got

0:50:16.000 --> 0:50:18.520
<v Speaker 6>into acting at nineteen, my goal was to be a

0:50:18.520 --> 0:50:22.200
<v Speaker 6>stand up but I didn't know why, Wow, can you

0:50:22.239 --> 0:50:22.839
<v Speaker 6>swear on this?

0:50:23.280 --> 0:50:23.480
<v Speaker 7>Yeah?

0:50:23.719 --> 0:50:24.440
<v Speaker 4>Built built.

0:50:24.680 --> 0:50:26.759
<v Speaker 6>I didn't know my ass for my elbow, so I

0:50:26.800 --> 0:50:28.440
<v Speaker 6>didn't have a point of view. You know, I was

0:50:28.440 --> 0:50:31.600
<v Speaker 6>just a young and eve and I had this this again,

0:50:31.719 --> 0:50:34.319
<v Speaker 6>the angry dwarf from my head telling me how what

0:50:34.400 --> 0:50:35.880
<v Speaker 6>a horrible person I am. So I was like, I

0:50:35.920 --> 0:50:39.040
<v Speaker 6>can't I can't get on stage, I can't tell jokes,

0:50:39.080 --> 0:50:41.360
<v Speaker 6>I can't do anything. So I found it easier to

0:50:41.360 --> 0:50:44.000
<v Speaker 6>play other people. So I got into acting and I

0:50:44.040 --> 0:50:46.760
<v Speaker 6>had a really nice I have a really great career acting.

0:50:47.600 --> 0:50:53.040
<v Speaker 6>And then at fifty three, I went to see my

0:50:53.080 --> 0:50:58.800
<v Speaker 6>buddy at a stand up club and I met Adam Hunter,

0:50:58.840 --> 0:51:01.960
<v Speaker 6>who's my now my my comedy mentor, and he does

0:51:01.960 --> 0:51:06.040
<v Speaker 6>a night every night Tuesdays at the Dime. And I

0:51:06.040 --> 0:51:07.600
<v Speaker 6>told him my story and he's like, you got to

0:51:07.600 --> 0:51:10.360
<v Speaker 6>get up. I'm like, I'm fifty three, man, you're going

0:51:10.480 --> 0:51:11.839
<v Speaker 6>to do stand up now. He's like, no, you got

0:51:11.880 --> 0:51:13.759
<v Speaker 6>to get up. You're not too old. You're never too old.

0:51:13.760 --> 0:51:15.719
<v Speaker 6>Did you stand up? So he pestered me for like

0:51:15.760 --> 0:51:18.960
<v Speaker 6>three months, So I said fine, and I wrote five

0:51:18.960 --> 0:51:22.040
<v Speaker 6>minutes and I got up. And I've been going at

0:51:22.080 --> 0:51:22.960
<v Speaker 6>it ever since.

0:51:22.960 --> 0:51:23.600
<v Speaker 2>You killed that.

0:51:24.000 --> 0:51:27.480
<v Speaker 6>It's yeah, it's it's addictive. And I've been very fortunate.

0:51:27.560 --> 0:51:29.920
<v Speaker 6>You know. I opened for my friend at Caroline's in

0:51:29.920 --> 0:51:33.080
<v Speaker 6>New York. I've had some really great opportunities and I'm

0:51:33.080 --> 0:51:35.200
<v Speaker 6>just plugging away at it and I love it. I

0:51:35.239 --> 0:51:37.160
<v Speaker 6>you know, I wish I hadn't done it, you know,

0:51:37.200 --> 0:51:39.640
<v Speaker 6>when I was younger, but you know, I didn't I

0:51:39.680 --> 0:51:41.359
<v Speaker 6>didn't have the point of view. Now I have six

0:51:41.440 --> 0:51:43.000
<v Speaker 6>kids and I've.

0:51:43.080 --> 0:51:43.839
<v Speaker 7>Been through a lot.

0:51:46.040 --> 0:51:48.200
<v Speaker 6>I have a lot of content that I'm just scratching

0:51:48.239 --> 0:51:51.600
<v Speaker 6>the surface too. I mean, with being a celebrity couple

0:51:51.680 --> 0:51:53.360
<v Speaker 6>and being in the magazine Oh.

0:51:53.200 --> 0:51:54.160
<v Speaker 4>My god, I can't imagine.

0:51:54.280 --> 0:51:56.320
<v Speaker 6>And so yeah, so there's there's a lot of stuff

0:51:56.360 --> 0:52:00.319
<v Speaker 6>to mine. So I'm looking to turn our pot cast

0:52:00.400 --> 0:52:06.280
<v Speaker 6>Daddy Issues into a talk show or or or a sitcom.

0:52:06.719 --> 0:52:09.520
<v Speaker 6>But I plan on, you know, planning doing my stand

0:52:09.640 --> 0:52:13.440
<v Speaker 6>up and continue acting and just plugging away, just you know,

0:52:13.520 --> 0:52:15.239
<v Speaker 6>trying to try to make a living, you know.

0:52:15.320 --> 0:52:17.640
<v Speaker 2>And his Daddy Issues is it? Who else is on

0:52:17.640 --> 0:52:18.560
<v Speaker 2>that podcast with you?

0:52:19.000 --> 0:52:23.240
<v Speaker 6>Daddy Issues is with Adam Hunter, my mentor, and Nicky Paris.

0:52:23.680 --> 0:52:27.160
<v Speaker 6>So Nicky's a gay comedian and he's fabulous. So our

0:52:27.239 --> 0:52:29.960
<v Speaker 6>our sort of through line is Daddy Issues. I'm Dean McDermott,

0:52:29.960 --> 0:52:32.200
<v Speaker 6>I have six kids, Adam Hunter is a new dad,

0:52:32.280 --> 0:52:33.280
<v Speaker 6>and Nicky needs.

0:52:33.120 --> 0:52:37.799
<v Speaker 2>A dad, so good. So, I mean, you have a

0:52:37.800 --> 0:52:39.120
<v Speaker 2>lot going on and you're killing it.

0:52:39.400 --> 0:52:41.719
<v Speaker 3>That's awesome. American guys. We're glad that that's going well

0:52:41.719 --> 0:52:43.200
<v Speaker 3>for you. Thank you.

0:52:43.600 --> 0:52:45.920
<v Speaker 6>Thank you. It's and talk about therapy. Oh my gosh,

0:52:46.239 --> 0:52:48.960
<v Speaker 6>I just go up and I just tell everybody it's

0:52:49.000 --> 0:52:51.520
<v Speaker 6>going on in my head and it's it's pretty funny.

0:52:52.120 --> 0:52:54.120
<v Speaker 3>Good for you, man, Well, thank you so much for

0:52:54.160 --> 0:52:56.359
<v Speaker 3>coming out and talking with us and being so My.

0:52:56.400 --> 0:53:00.960
<v Speaker 6>Pleasure, my pleasure, and guys, keep it up, keep up

0:53:01.000 --> 0:53:02.879
<v Speaker 6>to good work. Three and a half years out. That's

0:53:03.040 --> 0:53:05.719
<v Speaker 6>it's awesome that you're still together. Right, it's awesome work.

0:53:06.239 --> 0:53:08.280
<v Speaker 2>No, thank you, Dane. You've been our beacon of hope.

0:53:08.400 --> 0:53:09.040
<v Speaker 2>So thank you.

0:53:10.280 --> 0:53:10.759
<v Speaker 6>All the best.

0:53:10.760 --> 0:53:13.720
<v Speaker 3>Guys, appreciate it, my pleasure.

0:53:23.080 --> 0:53:26.360
<v Speaker 2>Worried about finding the perfect gift this holiday, Well, Peloton

0:53:26.520 --> 0:53:29.640
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0:53:29.800 --> 0:53:32.080
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0:53:32.120 --> 0:53:35.560
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0:53:35.560 --> 0:53:37.640
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0:53:37.719 --> 0:53:40.439
<v Speaker 2>I will go to a store just so we can

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0:53:53.040 --> 0:53:55.359
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0:53:55.440 --> 0:53:58.280
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0:53:58.320 --> 0:54:01.480
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0:54:01.480 --> 0:54:03.920
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0:54:04.000 --> 0:54:06.480
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0:54:06.520 --> 0:54:09.680
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0:54:09.680 --> 0:54:12.360
<v Speaker 2>on using. With an endless variety of entertaining live and

0:54:12.400 --> 0:54:15.799
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0:54:15.800 --> 0:54:18.560
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0:54:27.120 --> 0:54:29.560
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<v Speaker 3>That was good man. We could just get in a

0:54:48.480 --> 0:54:51.839
<v Speaker 3>room with him and toy because I felt like he

0:54:51.880 --> 0:54:55.520
<v Speaker 3>was just saying everything that we've said for the past

0:54:55.640 --> 0:54:58.080
<v Speaker 3>year on this podcast, and it's just so refreshing to

0:54:58.239 --> 0:55:01.439
<v Speaker 3>hear from someone else's mouth who's been through the same thing.

0:55:02.360 --> 0:55:05.279
<v Speaker 3>It's just it's just kind of comforting a little bit.

0:55:05.560 --> 0:55:07.200
<v Speaker 2>And I love how he was just like, Yeah, it's

0:55:07.200 --> 0:55:10.120
<v Speaker 2>going to be with us forever, and that's that's okay.

0:55:10.160 --> 0:55:12.560
<v Speaker 2>There's no shame in that. And I love that he

0:55:13.440 --> 0:55:15.440
<v Speaker 2>felt that he said that because it just made it be.

0:55:15.440 --> 0:55:18.120
<v Speaker 3>Like, okay, yeah, it was. It was great, man. That

0:55:18.239 --> 0:55:20.360
<v Speaker 3>was awesome having Diana on, and we definitely got to

0:55:20.360 --> 0:55:23.560
<v Speaker 3>get together with him and have dinner have some conversations

0:55:23.560 --> 0:55:26.480
<v Speaker 3>because that was great. So I was thinking, before we

0:55:26.480 --> 0:55:28.000
<v Speaker 3>we'll get to an email, but I'll think I want

0:55:28.000 --> 0:55:29.440
<v Speaker 3>to touch on something that we talked about early in

0:55:29.440 --> 0:55:33.759
<v Speaker 3>the episode, and we're talking about sentimental sentimental guests. Because

0:55:33.760 --> 0:55:35.239
<v Speaker 3>I'm sitting here through everything kind of in the back

0:55:35.239 --> 0:55:40.000
<v Speaker 3>of my mind multitasking, and I'm like, well, okay, what

0:55:40.040 --> 0:55:44.319
<v Speaker 3>if I get Jana something sentimental? But what if it's

0:55:44.440 --> 0:55:48.960
<v Speaker 3>not I don't write enough. What if I don't put

0:55:49.040 --> 0:55:51.319
<v Speaker 3>enough effort? And you try laughing because there's a little

0:55:51.320 --> 0:55:54.880
<v Speaker 3>inside joke here that I caught onto because for Jana's

0:55:54.920 --> 0:56:01.920
<v Speaker 3>birthday birthday, birthday, apparently I didn't write enough of my

0:56:02.040 --> 0:56:06.960
<v Speaker 3>own stuff within the card. I wrote a few lines.

0:56:07.320 --> 0:56:08.719
<v Speaker 3>I'm one of those guys that kind of gives you

0:56:08.719 --> 0:56:11.360
<v Speaker 3>a little underline the words that are being cool.

0:56:13.120 --> 0:56:18.560
<v Speaker 2>Underline It's underline the card words happy birthday, happies underlined,

0:56:20.360 --> 0:56:22.880
<v Speaker 2>like underline the ones if the card says you are

0:56:22.880 --> 0:56:26.360
<v Speaker 2>the most beautiful, and they keith underline what they wrote under.

0:56:26.160 --> 0:56:30.240
<v Speaker 3>Like, hey, homeworks said it right, I couldn't say better myself.

0:56:30.280 --> 0:56:32.000
<v Speaker 3>Why am I going to reiterate? That's why I got

0:56:32.000 --> 0:56:34.720
<v Speaker 3>the card because it said things that I feel and think,

0:56:35.440 --> 0:56:38.440
<v Speaker 3>So why I say the same thing Otherwise I'll just

0:56:38.480 --> 0:56:39.960
<v Speaker 3>get a blank card all the time. Just write it.

0:56:39.960 --> 0:56:40.719
<v Speaker 3>Would you rather have that?

0:56:41.080 --> 0:56:41.400
<v Speaker 2>Okay?

0:56:41.400 --> 0:56:42.320
<v Speaker 3>So she would.

0:56:42.560 --> 0:56:46.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So this is funny. And the reason he's bringing

0:56:46.200 --> 0:56:48.920
<v Speaker 2>this up is because Sarah didn't write my birthday card yet.

0:56:48.920 --> 0:56:52.600
<v Speaker 2>And I said, honestly, girl, just tell me what you

0:56:52.600 --> 0:56:54.480
<v Speaker 2>want to say, because I know.

0:56:54.600 --> 0:56:55.640
<v Speaker 4>I was like, do you have a pen? I need

0:56:55.640 --> 0:56:56.400
<v Speaker 4>to write your birthday card?

0:56:56.440 --> 0:56:58.360
<v Speaker 5>And she was like, oh my god, just honestly tell me,

0:56:59.120 --> 0:57:01.000
<v Speaker 5>because you know I have like a thing with birthday.

0:57:01.000 --> 0:57:03.440
<v Speaker 2>I have a thing with cards in general.

0:57:03.560 --> 0:57:05.640
<v Speaker 4>I mean with cards, sorry, ot with cards.

0:57:06.120 --> 0:57:06.960
<v Speaker 2>For me personally.

0:57:07.880 --> 0:57:10.759
<v Speaker 4>You took me into another room her.

0:57:11.280 --> 0:57:12.759
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to upset Michael or like her.

0:57:13.400 --> 0:57:13.759
<v Speaker 7>She goes.

0:57:14.040 --> 0:57:16.120
<v Speaker 4>I just really hate when people don't, like, you know,

0:57:16.480 --> 0:57:18.360
<v Speaker 4>write their feelings and mean it and write a lot.

0:57:18.440 --> 0:57:21.760
<v Speaker 4>And I'm like, okay. So I go into the room and.

0:57:21.720 --> 0:57:23.240
<v Speaker 5>Mike's like, what are you guys doing? Oh well, I'm just

0:57:23.280 --> 0:57:25.200
<v Speaker 5>writing in Jana's card. But I'm not gonna write I'm

0:57:25.200 --> 0:57:27.320
<v Speaker 5>just gonna say what I would say. I'd probably write

0:57:27.320 --> 0:57:29.320
<v Speaker 5>something long and heartfelt and tell her you know how

0:57:29.360 --> 0:57:31.440
<v Speaker 5>much I love her, and how how special of the

0:57:31.520 --> 0:57:33.000
<v Speaker 5>day this is, and how you know this day would

0:57:33.040 --> 0:57:35.040
<v Speaker 5>mean nothing because it's her birthday and if I wasn't

0:57:35.080 --> 0:57:37.880
<v Speaker 5>here with And He's like, Okay, I get you're saying.

0:57:38.560 --> 0:57:41.480
<v Speaker 2>I just wanted for some reason, I would. I've said

0:57:41.520 --> 0:57:43.960
<v Speaker 2>this since I was probably in high school. I don't

0:57:44.000 --> 0:57:47.880
<v Speaker 2>like I like cards that They're totally fine. The cards

0:57:47.880 --> 0:57:51.600
<v Speaker 2>are made, especially Hallmark cards. I love them, but when

0:57:51.640 --> 0:57:54.360
<v Speaker 2>I get them, I would rather have some I would

0:57:54.400 --> 0:57:57.280
<v Speaker 2>rather like when I give someone a card, I write

0:57:57.520 --> 0:57:59.360
<v Speaker 2>still like on the one side of it, like a

0:57:59.400 --> 0:58:01.240
<v Speaker 2>real long you know, high school letter.

0:58:01.960 --> 0:58:03.520
<v Speaker 4>But dear Mike, dear Mike.

0:58:03.920 --> 0:58:07.800
<v Speaker 2>Comma. But if someone were to give me a card,

0:58:08.000 --> 0:58:10.640
<v Speaker 2>I would rather than make the card and then write

0:58:11.600 --> 0:58:14.120
<v Speaker 2>their own words, because that means more to me than

0:58:14.200 --> 0:58:16.160
<v Speaker 2>just them giving me a Hallmark card and then saying

0:58:16.320 --> 0:58:17.320
<v Speaker 2>happy birthday, love Mike.

0:58:17.760 --> 0:58:19.760
<v Speaker 3>But I never just say that, but you write.

0:58:19.560 --> 0:58:22.880
<v Speaker 2>Like one sentence, I will never.

0:58:25.640 --> 0:58:26.880
<v Speaker 4>Birthday, have an amazing day.

0:58:27.320 --> 0:58:29.840
<v Speaker 3>I will never ever get you a card with words

0:58:29.840 --> 0:58:31.800
<v Speaker 3>in it ever again, every card will.

0:58:32.440 --> 0:58:35.200
<v Speaker 5>I love that, No, because then it's going to be

0:58:35.240 --> 0:58:37.160
<v Speaker 5>blank blank because he's don't going to know what to

0:58:37.160 --> 0:58:44.160
<v Speaker 5>write in it. Fine, that's funny, That's that's actually funny

0:58:44.160 --> 0:58:46.160
<v Speaker 5>because that is a thing with me and tytoo.

0:58:46.040 --> 0:58:48.160
<v Speaker 4>So in the beginning, I love No.

0:58:48.240 --> 0:58:50.680
<v Speaker 5>I love cards like even since literally I love I

0:58:50.720 --> 0:58:53.040
<v Speaker 5>keep all my cards. I have cards since high school,

0:58:53.880 --> 0:58:57.840
<v Speaker 5>and I always write, you know, not intense things. But

0:58:57.880 --> 0:59:00.000
<v Speaker 5>I'll go on for a little bit, and he really

0:59:00.080 --> 0:59:01.320
<v Speaker 5>caught on and it made me happy.

0:59:01.640 --> 0:59:04.600
<v Speaker 2>You know, not all of them, because I'll keep the

0:59:04.640 --> 0:59:06.640
<v Speaker 2>ones where he writes a lot, the other ones where

0:59:06.640 --> 0:59:08.640
<v Speaker 2>he just says, yeah, I love you, happy birthday.

0:59:08.680 --> 0:59:11.160
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, you'll keep my notes that say have like

0:59:11.160 --> 0:59:11.960
<v Speaker 3>a sentence on them.

0:59:12.000 --> 0:59:13.040
<v Speaker 2>But that's like what.

0:59:12.960 --> 0:59:16.080
<v Speaker 1>If he underlines happy right exactly?

0:59:16.560 --> 0:59:18.480
<v Speaker 3>You see how many underlines I had in that card.

0:59:19.560 --> 0:59:23.320
<v Speaker 3>So for those who, uh who might ever give Jana

0:59:23.320 --> 0:59:25.280
<v Speaker 3>a birthday card in the future, give her a card,

0:59:25.320 --> 0:59:27.960
<v Speaker 3>put your blood sweat behind it on the back of it,

0:59:28.080 --> 0:59:31.520
<v Speaker 3>tape a USB drive or to get USB drive with

0:59:31.560 --> 0:59:34.560
<v Speaker 3>an entire thesis paper on how much you love her

0:59:34.560 --> 0:59:35.560
<v Speaker 3>and how special she is.

0:59:35.600 --> 0:59:38.640
<v Speaker 2>I think like four sentences would be the appropriate for

0:59:39.000 --> 0:59:39.840
<v Speaker 2>at least four.

0:59:40.440 --> 0:59:42.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm feeling bad because I texted her and it really

0:59:42.360 --> 0:59:43.360
<v Speaker 1>wasn't nearly enough.

0:59:43.440 --> 0:59:45.960
<v Speaker 7>Now that I think back on my text, birthday.

0:59:45.680 --> 0:59:47.760
<v Speaker 2>Texts are totally fine. I'm saying in a card. For

0:59:48.120 --> 0:59:50.440
<v Speaker 2>buying someone else's words, you should write more than you

0:59:50.480 --> 0:59:52.120
<v Speaker 2>should write at least four sentences your own.

0:59:52.200 --> 0:59:53.840
<v Speaker 3>My hand, Ryan's going to become really big.

0:59:53.920 --> 0:59:55.200
<v Speaker 4>How do you sign your cards?

0:59:56.320 --> 0:59:59.440
<v Speaker 3>You know how I signed mine every time? How do

0:59:59.480 --> 1:00:03.880
<v Speaker 3>I sign one the m How do I sign mine? Uh?

1:00:04.440 --> 1:00:12.360
<v Speaker 2>You slurp, unbelievable clearly the words your time?

1:00:12.400 --> 1:00:14.680
<v Speaker 4>Because she obviously doesn't remember these cards.

1:00:15.200 --> 1:00:17.040
<v Speaker 2>Forever yours, thank you.

1:00:17.000 --> 1:00:19.080
<v Speaker 3>Love Michael, Forever yours love Michael.

1:00:18.840 --> 1:00:20.080
<v Speaker 4>And every card love Michael.

1:00:20.120 --> 1:00:22.680
<v Speaker 3>Okay, every note, every card, forever yours, love Michael.

1:00:22.440 --> 1:00:26.200
<v Speaker 2>I do write I love that, I say I love you?

1:00:26.800 --> 1:00:28.880
<v Speaker 3>What what? What more could I say in any other

1:00:28.920 --> 1:00:30.400
<v Speaker 3>words besides forever yours?

1:00:30.880 --> 1:00:37.080
<v Speaker 2>Oh? Thanks man saying what it's Janner right, dear Michael.

1:00:37.240 --> 1:00:39.720
<v Speaker 3>She scribbles scribbles out the world.

1:00:39.840 --> 1:00:42.040
<v Speaker 5>Do you do your signature like when you sign people's

1:00:42.120 --> 1:00:43.960
<v Speaker 5>like shirts? Is that how you like sign your cards?

1:00:44.320 --> 1:00:44.360
<v Speaker 6>No?

1:00:44.480 --> 1:00:49.120
<v Speaker 2>I just do love wifey or jamma or slurp.

1:00:50.840 --> 1:00:53.840
<v Speaker 3>Meanwhile, I'm like forever yours yours.

1:00:54.440 --> 1:00:58.640
<v Speaker 2>You never mind ever, I'm ever, so.

1:00:58.680 --> 1:00:59.360
<v Speaker 3>We can get out of here.

1:01:00.080 --> 1:01:02.400
<v Speaker 1>Ashley, my husband and I are eighteen weeks pregnant. The

1:01:02.440 --> 1:01:05.040
<v Speaker 1>past few days, my husband seemed distant and avoiding me.

1:01:05.600 --> 1:01:09.080
<v Speaker 1>I sensed something was wrong, so I looked in his phone. No,

1:01:09.960 --> 1:01:12.280
<v Speaker 1>I found no hold on. It's not where you think

1:01:12.320 --> 1:01:14.720
<v Speaker 1>it's going. But it's not great either. I found a

1:01:14.800 --> 1:01:18.360
<v Speaker 1>text exchange between him and his sister, in which he

1:01:18.440 --> 1:01:21.280
<v Speaker 1>confided that he doesn't want this baby, that he never

1:01:21.360 --> 1:01:25.080
<v Speaker 1>wanted this baby and resents me because I'm carrying the baby.

1:01:25.760 --> 1:01:28.080
<v Speaker 1>He wrote how he doesn't know if he ever loved me,

1:01:28.400 --> 1:01:30.880
<v Speaker 1>that I pressured him into marriage and kids. He told

1:01:30.920 --> 1:01:33.040
<v Speaker 1>his sister. He's unhappy and doesn't know if he wants

1:01:33.080 --> 1:01:36.959
<v Speaker 1>to be with me. Oh, I was blindsided. We both

1:01:37.000 --> 1:01:39.000
<v Speaker 1>agreed to start trying for a family and moving our

1:01:39.080 --> 1:01:41.600
<v Speaker 1>life forward. I believe it's his fear talking since it's

1:01:41.640 --> 1:01:43.680
<v Speaker 1>our first child. But how can I move past this?

1:01:44.080 --> 1:01:46.360
<v Speaker 1>He doesn't know. I saw the text exchange, and I've

1:01:46.360 --> 1:01:49.120
<v Speaker 1>tried addressing the topic without cornering him. But my heart

1:01:49.200 --> 1:01:52.360
<v Speaker 1>is broken and my anxiety is through the roof. I

1:01:52.400 --> 1:01:55.480
<v Speaker 1>feel loft and numb. Any advice or prayers would be

1:01:55.480 --> 1:01:56.440
<v Speaker 1>greatly appreciated.

1:01:56.560 --> 1:01:57.400
<v Speaker 4>Oh my gosh.

1:01:57.640 --> 1:01:59.720
<v Speaker 2>First of all, take a deep breath, baby, you're pregnant.

1:02:00.280 --> 1:02:04.720
<v Speaker 2>That anxiety is not good. Oh, Mike, I have I

1:02:04.840 --> 1:02:07.720
<v Speaker 2>don't have any words for this one. That's that's hard

1:02:07.800 --> 1:02:10.320
<v Speaker 2>because I feel like when she says that it's her,

1:02:10.840 --> 1:02:13.680
<v Speaker 2>it's it's his fear. But I don't know if I

1:02:13.680 --> 1:02:15.480
<v Speaker 2>could ever forget those words if I saw that.

1:02:16.880 --> 1:02:18.480
<v Speaker 4>Well, and it takes two to tango. He knows what

1:02:18.560 --> 1:02:19.960
<v Speaker 4>he was doing when he got your pregnant.

1:02:20.120 --> 1:02:23.200
<v Speaker 2>So and even if he felt forced, you still at

1:02:23.200 --> 1:02:24.600
<v Speaker 2>the end of the day, and I can I can

1:02:24.720 --> 1:02:26.560
<v Speaker 2>kind of relate to ours where it's like okay, I

1:02:26.720 --> 1:02:30.680
<v Speaker 2>know sometimes you felt pressed to the fire, but at

1:02:30.720 --> 1:02:32.240
<v Speaker 2>the same time, it was still a decision that you

1:02:32.360 --> 1:02:33.080
<v Speaker 2>did make.

1:02:33.200 --> 1:02:33.360
<v Speaker 3>Two.

1:02:34.440 --> 1:02:36.680
<v Speaker 2>That's tough. But I don't know if I could forget

1:02:36.680 --> 1:02:39.320
<v Speaker 2>those words if I saw that on your phone.

1:02:40.280 --> 1:02:41.160
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that's uh.

1:02:43.320 --> 1:02:45.120
<v Speaker 2>Man, I would confront him.

1:02:45.240 --> 1:02:46.520
<v Speaker 3>You have, I definitely.

1:02:46.880 --> 1:02:49.320
<v Speaker 4>I don't know how she hasn't. I don't know how

1:02:49.360 --> 1:02:50.280
<v Speaker 4>she do.

1:02:50.720 --> 1:02:52.919
<v Speaker 2>But come not at a good from a good place.

1:02:53.040 --> 1:02:56.920
<v Speaker 2>That's my advice from a very from a very calm,

1:02:57.000 --> 1:03:00.800
<v Speaker 2>calm collected. Hey, I'm so sorry. I I'll you a

1:03:00.840 --> 1:03:03.360
<v Speaker 2>little distant, and I'm so sorry. I looked at your

1:03:03.400 --> 1:03:05.240
<v Speaker 2>phone and I saw this message and I'm just having

1:03:05.280 --> 1:03:07.280
<v Speaker 2>a really hard time processing this. I know this is

1:03:07.840 --> 1:03:10.920
<v Speaker 2>your private space, and I'm sorry for I'm sorry for

1:03:12.040 --> 1:03:16.960
<v Speaker 2>breaking that space and breaking that privacy. But now I

1:03:17.000 --> 1:03:18.600
<v Speaker 2>don't know what to do with this, and I need,

1:03:19.120 --> 1:03:22.360
<v Speaker 2>I need. Can we can we talk about this?

1:03:23.480 --> 1:03:25.240
<v Speaker 4>Or does she just give him the chance to tell her?

1:03:25.320 --> 1:03:27.600
<v Speaker 4>Maybe I went through your phone.

1:03:28.160 --> 1:03:32.000
<v Speaker 3>So I would. I would just in my opinion, again,

1:03:32.080 --> 1:03:36.240
<v Speaker 3>this is my opinion, Ashley, just because being a guy,

1:03:36.400 --> 1:03:41.800
<v Speaker 3>and you'd have to really like Jana just explained dance

1:03:41.960 --> 1:03:45.080
<v Speaker 3>very delicately around introducing the fact that you looked at

1:03:45.120 --> 1:03:52.760
<v Speaker 3>this phone. So my just thought goes to try addressing

1:03:52.840 --> 1:03:56.840
<v Speaker 3>it with him again from a standpoint of just ask him, hey,

1:03:56.960 --> 1:03:59.680
<v Speaker 3>how are you feeling about all this? And just being like,

1:04:00.080 --> 1:04:00.920
<v Speaker 3>you know, I'm scared.

1:04:01.520 --> 1:04:02.400
<v Speaker 2>Isn't that playing games?

1:04:02.440 --> 1:04:02.600
<v Speaker 3>Though?

1:04:02.640 --> 1:04:04.480
<v Speaker 2>Like you would get mad at me because I've done that.

1:04:05.400 --> 1:04:07.080
<v Speaker 4>I'm saying I went through your phone, and all he

1:04:07.120 --> 1:04:08.600
<v Speaker 4>does is yell at her. Why are you going through

1:04:08.600 --> 1:04:11.200
<v Speaker 4>my phone? I went through your phone.

1:04:12.840 --> 1:04:15.040
<v Speaker 3>It's not about playing games, It's not it's not about

1:04:15.120 --> 1:04:17.360
<v Speaker 3>fishing it out, because I know when you're trying to

1:04:17.440 --> 1:04:18.280
<v Speaker 3>fish something out of it.

1:04:18.360 --> 1:04:19.600
<v Speaker 2>How is that not fishing.

1:04:19.440 --> 1:04:21.640
<v Speaker 3>Because because it's still something that you want to have

1:04:21.720 --> 1:04:22.680
<v Speaker 3>a conversation about.

1:04:22.920 --> 1:04:24.680
<v Speaker 2>What if it doesn't say anything, He's like, no, I'm good,

1:04:24.680 --> 1:04:25.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm excited.

1:04:25.800 --> 1:04:27.480
<v Speaker 3>Then then you addressed it like you said.

1:04:27.320 --> 1:04:29.720
<v Speaker 2>Okay, because if not, then if all I'm.

1:04:29.560 --> 1:04:31.720
<v Speaker 3>Saying, yeah, no, no, don't keep going. All I'm saying

1:04:31.800 --> 1:04:34.439
<v Speaker 3>is is started off with saying expressing your fear because

1:04:34.480 --> 1:04:36.040
<v Speaker 3>you're this is your first child, You're gonna be a

1:04:36.080 --> 1:04:38.760
<v Speaker 3>new mother, there's going to be fear attached. Be like, hey,

1:04:38.800 --> 1:04:41.760
<v Speaker 3>I'm really anxious, I'm really fearful. Like, I don't you know,

1:04:41.960 --> 1:04:44.280
<v Speaker 3>how are you feeling? And if he does played off

1:04:44.320 --> 1:04:45.760
<v Speaker 3>he's like, oh, I'm good, We're gonna be all right,

1:04:46.640 --> 1:04:50.440
<v Speaker 3>then then be like okay. And it doesn't even have

1:04:50.600 --> 1:04:53.200
<v Speaker 3>to be in that moment. It could be later that

1:04:53.320 --> 1:04:56.440
<v Speaker 3>day or the next day to be like, hey and

1:04:56.720 --> 1:04:58.840
<v Speaker 3>do what Jana said. So that's just my thought.

1:04:59.600 --> 1:05:01.680
<v Speaker 2>And if and if he doesn't says to stop the

1:05:01.760 --> 1:05:04.480
<v Speaker 2>fishing after that, because I know I've unfortunately done that

1:05:04.520 --> 1:05:07.000
<v Speaker 2>in the past two where I've fished old fish. But

1:05:07.080 --> 1:05:08.920
<v Speaker 2>I feel like that just I mean, I get what

1:05:08.960 --> 1:05:10.800
<v Speaker 2>you're saying, but it's still she's still fishing.

1:05:11.760 --> 1:05:13.840
<v Speaker 3>It's it's do you see what I mean? Though? Yeah,

1:05:13.880 --> 1:05:17.040
<v Speaker 3>but it's an opportunity to talk about something that should

1:05:17.040 --> 1:05:19.000
<v Speaker 3>be talked about anyway. It's not just trying to.

1:05:20.520 --> 1:05:21.880
<v Speaker 4>Let me make sure sure we're on the same team.

1:05:21.920 --> 1:05:22.840
<v Speaker 4>We're about to have a baby.

1:05:23.720 --> 1:05:26.400
<v Speaker 2>Let's okay, So start with Mike and with mine. If

1:05:26.440 --> 1:05:27.560
<v Speaker 2>it doesn't happen, all right.

1:05:27.640 --> 1:05:30.440
<v Speaker 1>This one's from anonymous. I got engaged to my boyfriend

1:05:30.480 --> 1:05:32.560
<v Speaker 1>of three years. We lived together, everything's been great. Well,

1:05:32.560 --> 1:05:33.840
<v Speaker 1>one night he went to the baller and was having

1:05:33.840 --> 1:05:36.200
<v Speaker 1>a friendly conversation with a woman. At the end of

1:05:36.200 --> 1:05:38.400
<v Speaker 1>the night, they exchanged numbers. A week later, my gut

1:05:38.480 --> 1:05:39.720
<v Speaker 1>was telling me to go through his phone and it's

1:05:39.760 --> 1:05:42.440
<v Speaker 1>on Snapchat. They've been talking and became best friends on it.

1:05:43.800 --> 1:05:45.560
<v Speaker 1>When I confronted my fiance, he said, no, no, no,

1:05:45.640 --> 1:05:47.240
<v Speaker 1>we're just getting to know each other. Nothing has been

1:05:47.280 --> 1:05:50.680
<v Speaker 1>said that would disrespect me or our relationship. He's also

1:05:50.760 --> 1:05:52.480
<v Speaker 1>never given me a reason not to trust him, so

1:05:52.520 --> 1:05:54.960
<v Speaker 1>I let it go. So I messaged the girl on Facebook.

1:05:55.000 --> 1:05:57.360
<v Speaker 1>She said she originally said no to exchanging numbers, but

1:05:57.440 --> 1:05:59.200
<v Speaker 1>decided she had nothing to lose, so she gave him

1:05:59.200 --> 1:06:02.520
<v Speaker 1>her number. She also said he kept initiating the snaps

1:06:02.560 --> 1:06:03.439
<v Speaker 1>in the conversations.

1:06:03.640 --> 1:06:05.000
<v Speaker 7>I don't know what to do. I don't know who

1:06:05.000 --> 1:06:06.640
<v Speaker 7>to believe any of us would be helpful.

1:06:06.680 --> 1:06:08.720
<v Speaker 1>And then she also says, I love you both and

1:06:08.840 --> 1:06:11.920
<v Speaker 1>literally use your podcast and television shows as therapy to

1:06:11.960 --> 1:06:14.160
<v Speaker 1>help me in rough situations. So thank you for being

1:06:14.240 --> 1:06:16.560
<v Speaker 1>so raw, open and honest about your guys' lives. It

1:06:16.680 --> 1:06:17.200
<v Speaker 1>means a lot.

1:06:17.840 --> 1:06:18.120
<v Speaker 2>Thank you.

1:06:18.400 --> 1:06:19.280
<v Speaker 3>Thank you Anonymous.

1:06:22.840 --> 1:06:25.880
<v Speaker 2>Guys need to have like if you're married, you don't.

1:06:26.000 --> 1:06:29.480
<v Speaker 3>If you're engaged, yes hashtag no new friends.

1:06:29.600 --> 1:06:32.840
<v Speaker 4>It's like the thing again, it's kind of just one thing.

1:06:33.080 --> 1:06:35.520
<v Speaker 3>And we've kind of touched on this before. It's one thing.

1:06:35.840 --> 1:06:41.960
<v Speaker 3>If at work and over time with working with somebody,

1:06:42.120 --> 1:06:46.280
<v Speaker 3>you you develop a relationship, and you know, but you

1:06:46.440 --> 1:06:48.480
<v Speaker 3>talk about it with your partner, your girlfriend or your

1:06:48.520 --> 1:06:50.600
<v Speaker 3>wife or whatever they meet them. It becomes like a

1:06:50.960 --> 1:06:54.760
<v Speaker 3>mutual relationship just because you're working with somebody. It's just

1:06:54.840 --> 1:06:56.920
<v Speaker 3>one of those Okay, A lot of people have those,

1:06:56.960 --> 1:07:00.200
<v Speaker 3>and that are healthy and within boundaries. Meeting someone out

1:07:00.280 --> 1:07:05.280
<v Speaker 3>at a bar, communicating via snapchat, there is nothing healthy

1:07:05.320 --> 1:07:07.720
<v Speaker 3>about insaaning. I'm we're just getting to know each other.

1:07:07.800 --> 1:07:09.480
<v Speaker 3>Why do you need to get to know some random

1:07:09.520 --> 1:07:12.280
<v Speaker 3>shack you met at a bar? That is bold?

1:07:13.200 --> 1:07:13.400
<v Speaker 8>Yeah?

1:07:13.680 --> 1:07:16.400
<v Speaker 4>I agree, I think we all agree.

1:07:16.640 --> 1:07:19.160
<v Speaker 2>So what should she do? I would say, like, stop

1:07:19.200 --> 1:07:20.040
<v Speaker 2>communication with her?

1:07:20.280 --> 1:07:22.640
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, be like, this doesn't make me feel comfortable. If

1:07:22.720 --> 1:07:26.520
<v Speaker 3>he's your fiance, your fiance, you're gonna potentially marry this man.

1:07:27.160 --> 1:07:30.640
<v Speaker 3>Say you don't feel comfortable with it, Validate that you've

1:07:30.680 --> 1:07:32.640
<v Speaker 3>never given me a reason to trust you, not to

1:07:32.680 --> 1:07:35.040
<v Speaker 3>trust you. But I don't like this. I don't feel

1:07:35.040 --> 1:07:36.520
<v Speaker 3>comfortable and I'm really sorry.

1:07:37.160 --> 1:07:37.440
<v Speaker 5>Mm hm.

1:07:38.040 --> 1:07:42.640
<v Speaker 3>So I would like, you know, for you to cease

1:07:44.920 --> 1:07:47.600
<v Speaker 3>yees conversation.

1:07:47.720 --> 1:07:50.520
<v Speaker 1>It's time for boundaries to be established. Clearly they haven't

1:07:50.560 --> 1:07:51.920
<v Speaker 1>been and guys are dumb.

1:07:52.160 --> 1:07:55.560
<v Speaker 2>So it needs so yes, that's a good there you go,

1:07:55.640 --> 1:07:58.600
<v Speaker 2>popa mark the create boundaries. Boundaries need to be created.

1:07:58.680 --> 1:07:58.840
<v Speaker 3>Now.

1:08:01.720 --> 1:08:04.520
<v Speaker 2>Hey you guys, I hope every single one of you

1:08:05.040 --> 1:08:09.680
<v Speaker 2>have the most amazing Christmas. In New Year, we're going

1:08:09.760 --> 1:08:11.760
<v Speaker 2>to be on hiatus for two weeks. We love you

1:08:11.800 --> 1:08:14.560
<v Speaker 2>guys so much. For those of you that struggle during

1:08:14.560 --> 1:08:17.680
<v Speaker 2>the holiday season, know that you're not alone, Know that

1:08:18.320 --> 1:08:20.000
<v Speaker 2>there's people out there that love you and that care

1:08:20.040 --> 1:08:22.439
<v Speaker 2>about you. And we just truly hope that you guys

1:08:22.520 --> 1:08:27.400
<v Speaker 2>have an amazing holiday season and find some peace these

1:08:27.520 --> 1:08:29.560
<v Speaker 2>next few weeks. And for all those gods, give a

1:08:29.600 --> 1:08:31.439
<v Speaker 2>little love a little, give a little love a little.

1:08:31.760 --> 1:08:33.400
<v Speaker 3>And for all those guys out there, if you haven't

1:08:33.400 --> 1:08:36.720
<v Speaker 3>gotten something sentimental for your girl, go do it. Just

1:08:36.920 --> 1:08:37.160
<v Speaker 3>do it.

1:08:38.000 --> 1:08:40.080
<v Speaker 2>Only care about minus Sarah. Just get for the shoes.

1:08:41.920 --> 1:08:47.160
<v Speaker 3>Merry Christmas holidays at least whatever you celebrate, enjoy it

1:08:47.600 --> 1:08:49.040
<v Speaker 3>and be present in those moments.

1:08:49.160 --> 1:08:51.280
<v Speaker 2>And we hope to see you guys in twenty twenty

1:08:51.360 --> 1:09:00.559
<v Speaker 2>God willing twenty twenty Hi guys, Bye sad in Another

1:09:00.640 --> 1:09:00.760
<v Speaker 2>year

1:09:02.280 --> 1:09:05.840
<v Speaker 4>And another one, Buds, another one going, and another one