Speaker 1: Wind Down with jam and Kramer and Michael Coffin and
Speaker 1: I'm her radio podcast.
Speaker 2: I have so much to say because I have not
Speaker 2: caught up with Sarah since the Wine Down tour stuff.
Speaker 2: We were in Chicago and Michigan and and Louisville. So
Speaker 2: the bus rolls in. About what time do we get
Speaker 2: in that too, like.
Speaker 3: Two in the morning. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I didn't even see you, Sarah when you left. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: because your flight ended up changing. There was drama, you guys. Okay,
Speaker 2: so there was. We were living on the bus for
Speaker 2: four days something like that, and there was so much
Speaker 2: crap in the back seat or the back part of
Speaker 2: the lounge that things were just like being thrown into bags.
Speaker 2: So the next morning, so tired, Jolie has school, so
Speaker 2: I just kind of like blindly put my clothes on,
Speaker 2: grab my bag. I'm in the car driving to her preschool.
Speaker 2: I walk in and I look in my bag. I've
Speaker 2: got the bottle of bullet in in my purse. So,
Speaker 2: for those who don't know bullet is, it's all my drinks.
Speaker 2: And I mean it's an opened bottle of bullet like
Speaker 2: half drank. And I'm like, if anyone stops for me,
Speaker 2: right now, who opens my bag? Like mom of the year,
Speaker 2: Like I walked into her preschool with an open bottle
Speaker 2: of bullet Mom of the year, That is like what
Speaker 2: it wud been so great? I would have gotten pulled over.
Speaker 2: I didn't like officer. I swear I don't drink bullet,
Speaker 2: Like I know what this looks like. Wait, I'm well
Speaker 2: aware that is how did he who knows people? We
Speaker 2: just were like putting things in.
Speaker 4: Oh it was a night.
Speaker 2: But I'm just like if you I was just in
Speaker 2: my head, I'm like, how would I explain this to
Speaker 2: a like the principal preschool.
Speaker 3: Lady and then a I guess all of a sudden
Speaker 3: joys school. Now it randomly does backcheck.
Speaker 2: What if I would have fallen and like a bullet
Speaker 2: like women everywhere, I would if someone grabbed my back,
Speaker 2: I don't know, like you just start thinking, or what
Speaker 2: if I opened it and be like, oh, Julie, here's
Speaker 2: your water bottle. Then Miss Tina sees the other bottle
Speaker 2: in there, I'm just like, wow, mortified.
Speaker 4: Mike's just happy his bullet made at home.
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, Hey guys, Hey, hey I'm not hungover anymore.
Speaker 2: Oh that was speaking of hungover.
Speaker 3: Though.
Speaker 2: We had a little issue because I told Mike what
Speaker 2: time we were leaving your wedding at Sarah on the
Speaker 2: tour bus.
Speaker 5: So she already booked their flights. Mark was looking at
Speaker 5: me like, what the wedding already happened?
Speaker 2: No, no, no, the wedding obviously is in February. But I
Speaker 2: booked the flights and I didn't pook the first flight
Speaker 2: out like I'm usually the first flight out, because I
Speaker 2: want to be back home with the kids.
Speaker 6: Mike shaking it.
Speaker 2: So I booked a ten o'clock fly, which is like,
Speaker 2: you know, just enough time to wake up, Yes, just
Speaker 2: enough time, honey, what time would you like to leave
Speaker 2: the wedding at or leave the hotel at.
Speaker 3: Six pm that night? Last flight? I'm I'm more of
Speaker 3: a like last flight out kind of guy. After especially
Speaker 3: a wedding like this, I'm already telling you. I've been
Speaker 3: giving you months ahead of time, like when we knew
Speaker 3: what when Sarah's getting married, And I was like, I'm
Speaker 3: going to be in rare form. You're probably gonna have
Speaker 3: to put me to bed. I don't know what's gonna happen,
Speaker 3: so let's not take the first flight out.
Speaker 4: No, we were.
Speaker 5: I'm like, Jenna is for sure, Mike's gonna be a
Speaker 5: couple of bullets and maybe some champagne. Genna's just gonna
Speaker 5: get on a red eye that night and leave you.
Speaker 5: You're gonna wake up in the hotel room alone.
Speaker 3: Fine, fine, totally fine, it's gonna.
Speaker 2: I just let him open by the way his first
Speaker 2: we like to. I have a really hard time keeping
Speaker 2: presence for Mike, and so I got one of those
Speaker 2: Have you ever seen those curate drink works? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: they're amazing you. Actually, it's like what if you walked
Speaker 2: around with the pod. It's like basically like a cureg pod.
Speaker 2: It's made by Care two, but it has like a
Speaker 2: margarita or a mohido or as. It's so cool. So
Speaker 2: it'll just be you like with this mug with your
Speaker 2: carry on. It's just like sep well because like you
Speaker 2: don't know, but.
Speaker 5: Like most people's hangover start kicking in around ten eleven, right, so.
Speaker 3: Ely, I will still be drunks. A might not let
Speaker 3: me throw it.
Speaker 4: Oh, you're literally gonna be.
Speaker 2: You were in charge then of changing the tickets if
Speaker 2: you want, I know, can we meet in the middle
Speaker 2: six is too late, because then we couldn't put.
Speaker 7: The well, checkout times got to happen at some point
Speaker 7: eleven or twelve.
Speaker 2: Exactly, Yes, great point.
Speaker 7: Mark, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2: What about like kicking me out too?
Speaker 5: He's going to be he's gonna be like the what's
Speaker 5: it called the the maids are going to knock on
Speaker 5: the door and just enter them and might have you passed.
Speaker 4: Out and naked on the bed like alone.
Speaker 2: They're going to be like, what alone? And afraid.
Speaker 3: Jana's gone? Are you texting me that she landed back
Speaker 3: home and is with the kids?
Speaker 1: What are you.
Speaker 2: Asking for for Christmas?
Speaker 5: Sarah?
Speaker 2: Since this is our last Christmas?
Speaker 4: What am I asking for for Christmas?
Speaker 2: Mike got you two things that just got delivered today.
Speaker 6: What?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's little, it's little.
Speaker 3: It's just something I saw and I could.
Speaker 4: Not what What's she's talking about? How kind of a soul?
Speaker 4: What a gent?
Speaker 2: And I was like you what?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 4: I mean I know she was like, did you get
Speaker 4: my presence yet?
Speaker 2: I don't want anything?
Speaker 4: I know you actually probably don't want anything.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 5: I haven't I've been like a little busy normally. You know,
Speaker 5: I have my list a month ago, But I don't.
Speaker 5: I just something I really like as presents. I like
Speaker 5: shoes as present. And I know that sounds like, oh,
Speaker 5: she likes shoes, But I just feel like there's a
Speaker 5: lot of memory because like I have, you know, I
Speaker 5: have shoes from ten years ago that I still wear,
Speaker 5: you know, and you do too, and we wear them
Speaker 5: to the death, and I just think it's a nice momentum.
Speaker 4: I lose jewelry, I lose, you know, I lose a
Speaker 4: lot you have.
Speaker 3: Wait, so you do you guys tie shoes and memory together?
Speaker 3: Just like like no, I'm saying no, not tie tie
Speaker 3: like put together shoes. You're like when you go to
Speaker 3: put on a pair of shoes, like, oh I remember, I.
Speaker 7: Do really well.
Speaker 4: But no, not like you know, a nice pair I get.
Speaker 5: I have a nice pair that I remember, you know,
Speaker 5: like oh I got these for my birthday, Ty got
Speaker 5: me these for Valentine's Day. Yeah, not like my Nikes,
Speaker 5: not my kicks.
Speaker 2: But well, it's just interesting because I wonder if that's
Speaker 2: going to change for because now that we have kids,
Speaker 2: people are asking and we're not even really doing presents
Speaker 2: in our family anymore. Because it's like, I don't want.
Speaker 2: I don't need anything. I don't want anything like I
Speaker 2: have my kids, and I think that's and I never
Speaker 2: understood that when when my parents would say that when
Speaker 2: we were kids, I was like.
Speaker 3: What do you mean?
Speaker 2: You don't want something? And now I'm just like, I
Speaker 2: don't want anything. I just I just want my I
Speaker 2: want my family, and I want to have a great
Speaker 2: dinner and some quality time and maybe watch a movie
Speaker 2: on Christmas night. And I want them to be happy.
Speaker 2: I want to see them.
Speaker 4: Yeah, honestly write that down. But I feel like you weren't.
Speaker 2: Like because I told you. I was like, I don't,
Speaker 2: I really don't. I asked for a necklace about mommy necklace,
Speaker 2: but Lola and James uh turning it to me. So
Speaker 2: I was just like anything, I feel like it's.
Speaker 4: Just sentimental things. I like sentimental things, and that.
Speaker 2: A picture with the kids, A handwritten letter that is like.
Speaker 4: Golden to Mike, A hand written letter.
Speaker 2: Maybe oh yeah, which comes to another great topic.
Speaker 6: Uh.
Speaker 2: We need to tease the guests though, because I'm really
Speaker 2: excited about the guest. Dean McDermott is coming in. He's
Speaker 2: married to Tory Spelling and they have a very interesting past, public,
Speaker 2: public past, and they were one of the couples that I,
Speaker 2: having away always looked up to in a weird way
Speaker 2: because of their ability to own it in such a
Speaker 2: public way. And I just have a lot of respect
Speaker 2: for that. So he's going to be a guest on
Speaker 2: our show today and I'm super excited about that. I'm
Speaker 2: excited to stay tuned for that.
Speaker 3: But hold, let me ask you about the presents real quick.
Speaker 3: So I feel like women will say that, right, I
Speaker 3: really don't want anything. I want that if a guy
Speaker 3: actually said, all right.
Speaker 4: Oh you're dead cool.
Speaker 2: No no, no, no time out, time out, time out,
Speaker 2: if you didn't do anything, I actually would be kind
Speaker 2: of bummed. But the one thing that I would want
Speaker 2: is because I would want at least that sentimental gift.
Speaker 2: It's the time in which you maybe drew Jolie's hand
Speaker 2: and you guys wrote me like, that's the stuff that
Speaker 2: the sentiment. It's the sentimental stuff that like that. It
Speaker 2: could be you know, a simple.
Speaker 4: Okay by a question answer okay.
Speaker 2: So I don't need the shoes. I don't need because
Speaker 2: it's like, yeah, I'm good, honestly, but I still would
Speaker 2: like something special. I guess Okay, so there you go.
Speaker 2: It's not that I don't want anything.
Speaker 4: I want.
Speaker 2: I would love something special that but I knew that
Speaker 2: didn't take a lot of It is not a lot
Speaker 2: of money, but it took some thoughts.
Speaker 5: Okay, So no, no, I was just gonna say on
Speaker 5: the flip side, because you know, if you say I
Speaker 5: don't want anything, no you do and or not you
Speaker 5: but I mean me, I want something.
Speaker 2: But is there No, it's because you don't have kids. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I promise you it'll change you. I truly will. You'll
Speaker 2: have everything.
Speaker 5: Okay, but is there something special about Like let's say you.
Speaker 4: Say Mike, I don't want anything.
Speaker 5: I don't want anything, and he gives you a handwritten
Speaker 5: letter from Jolie and you think that's your present, but
Speaker 5: then all of.
Speaker 4: A sudden he got you.
Speaker 5: A new no like Gucci purse or something that that
Speaker 5: you weren't expecting, you didn't want, and it was just like, wow,
Speaker 5: I didn't even you know that.
Speaker 2: Every once in a while, Sure that'd be so cool.
Speaker 2: Sure I think it'd be a pleasant surprise. And I
Speaker 2: think anyone would kind of want to feel special.
Speaker 3: I could honestly say, like if Jane and I were like,
Speaker 3: I don't believe you if if if we agreed and
Speaker 3: we said, hey, we're not we're just gonna save money
Speaker 3: because we go we tend to go a little overboard
Speaker 3: with each other because we're both just very generous.
Speaker 2: Last year we said a four hundred dollars budget for
Speaker 2: each other.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we went past that. So anyways, so
Speaker 3: really I didn't. Okay, regardless, I could honestly be like,
Speaker 3: all right, if we agree, hey, we're not gonna spend
Speaker 3: any money on each other at all and not do anything,
Speaker 3: I'll be okay, cool, No, we do. But I still
Speaker 3: feel like, come Christmas morning, if you didn't open something,
Speaker 3: you kind of be like, oh.
Speaker 2: So, then why do we say because I don't. I
Speaker 2: don't think that when you said I just want to
Speaker 2: redo your car, that you would be bummed if you
Speaker 2: didn't open something.
Speaker 3: I would not. That's the difference between men and women.
Speaker 3: I all I want. I've told Jana this, but Janet
Speaker 3: doesn't like this because he does get anything out of it.
Speaker 3: All I wanted to do was finally do some things
Speaker 3: to my to my truck that have been wanting to
Speaker 3: do for a long.
Speaker 2: Time, which, by the way, he goes I want to
Speaker 2: lift it, but don't worry. You won't notice it. And
Speaker 2: I was like, don't You're gonna spend money on something no.
Speaker 3: One will even know, Just like, wait, you guys go
Speaker 3: get your hair done. Do we always notice? No, but
Speaker 3: you spend money on it.
Speaker 1: Boom.
Speaker 3: I'm just saying. So the whole thing is I mean
Speaker 3: that when I say, honey, all I want to do
Speaker 3: is stuff in my truck, Like, don't spend another dime
Speaker 3: on me. No part of me would be upset Christmas
Speaker 3: morning because I believe you and God bless my wife.
Speaker 3: She's always trying to like give me things. But every year,
Speaker 3: for like the last five years of a relationship, she
Speaker 3: tries to get me to wear sweaters. She wants me
Speaker 3: to be a sweaterwear.
Speaker 4: So bad, to be a sweater guy so badly.
Speaker 3: And I'm finally I'm to the point where I'm like, honey,
Speaker 3: and the best thing was, I think it was last
Speaker 3: year or two years ago she got me a ring.
Speaker 3: And for the first few years of our marriage, Jara,
Speaker 3: it's a beautiful Janna has tried to make me like
Speaker 3: a ring accessory wear. I'm not. I wear my running band.
Speaker 2: That's it ring from the black one that I got.
Speaker 3: Right, but I usually will replace that with my wedding
Speaker 3: band if I wear it. So finally, last year or
Speaker 3: the year before, Jana went above and beyond got me
Speaker 3: like a Cardier Men's love ring.
Speaker 4: She wants him to be a sweater wearing Cardier love it.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yes, And so I had had this discussion, like
Speaker 3: with my close buddy in La Garrett, and I was like, look, man,
Speaker 3: I know this is like a fifteen hundred dollars ring
Speaker 3: or whatever it is. I'm not gonna wear it, but
Speaker 3: I'm gonna feel like I have to, but I don't
Speaker 3: want to. So what I finally manned up and had
Speaker 3: a conversation with Jana and being like, man, I love
Speaker 3: you so much, I'm not gonna wear this.
Speaker 2: Do you know that Garrett prepped me for that?
Speaker 3: Did he He did? Smart?
Speaker 6: Man?
Speaker 2: Yeah, he prepped me.
Speaker 3: So that's the thing. We see that like we mean it.
Speaker 3: And so finally I'm like Ganna in my head, I'm like,
Speaker 3: I don't want another sweater. I want another cardigan or ring.
Speaker 3: This is what I want. You asked me what I
Speaker 3: want for Christmas? This is what I want. What Janna
Speaker 3: wants to do what do you want?
Speaker 4: She's like, what do you want for Christmas? And then
Speaker 4: she's like, I don't like that.
Speaker 3: That's not the that's not gonna work for me. This
Speaker 3: is what I want to buy you.
Speaker 4: But guys are the opposite.
Speaker 5: It's like, this is what I want for Christmas and
Speaker 5: then done for me exactly.
Speaker 2: But it's just like nothing. You don't want to open anything.
Speaker 3: I don't care.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well get him a gag gift.
Speaker 4: You know those are always fun.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean I got a few things, but I
Speaker 2: just I just want you to I don't believe you.
Speaker 2: But maybe that's because I I know that maybe I
Speaker 2: don't believe myself when I say that.
Speaker 3: For here here's the catch. Here's the catch too, right,
Speaker 3: I tell Jane what I want. We discussed o budget
Speaker 3: and now we just discussed it again the other night
Speaker 3: and she cut it down by a little bit amount.
Speaker 3: I'm like, wait, no, we discussed this amount. She's like, oh, oh,
Speaker 3: you're actually gonna okay. I'm like, just because you've bought
Speaker 3: me some things even though I told you not to,
Speaker 3: you can't take that off of my budget of what
Speaker 3: I want for Christmas.
Speaker 5: And you get him presents from the kids, Like maybe
Speaker 5: that counts as the present.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've got him. Jayce got him something and Jolie
Speaker 2: got him something, so be there. I yeah, no, I
Speaker 2: and then yeah, I got him like a few other things.
Speaker 2: But I did ask him the other day. I was like,
Speaker 2: are you sure you don't want to wear a sweater?
Speaker 2: Because I found a really nice one. Oh sure, She's
Speaker 2: like it's rag and bone. It was. I just was like,
Speaker 2: I love him in a sweater. I think he looks
Speaker 2: so handsome in a sweater, Like I just it's my
Speaker 2: favorite look of his, just so handsome.
Speaker 5: See that's another difference with guys. He just doesn't care.
Speaker 5: Tis like I really love you in this. I'm like, here,
Speaker 5: I am five days in a row. But I tell
Speaker 5: a guy you like him in a sweater and he'd
Speaker 5: rather die than wear a sweater.
Speaker 4: So interesting how that works.
Speaker 2: It's so it's so funny. He's like, oh, like you
Speaker 2: and hats am I wearing a hat almost every single
Speaker 2: day though.
Speaker 3: That for years?
Speaker 2: I know, But it's so funny. How like, but if
Speaker 2: we tell you you don't care, but a girl would
Speaker 2: be like, we will wear that every single day, Like
Speaker 2: Sarah just said.
Speaker 5: Yeah, well, just get each other present because I feel
Speaker 5: like it's just the you know, it's the holidays and
Speaker 5: it's nice to sit around with your family and just
Speaker 5: open presence and the kit. You know, Julie probably likes
Speaker 5: to see you guys open.
Speaker 4: It's fun and you know, again.
Speaker 2: I think it's just the meaningful and I think when
Speaker 2: you do have kids too, especially with our like family
Speaker 2: and moms and brothers, we don't want we don't want anything.
Speaker 2: It's stuff for the kids, for the kids. Yea thing
Speaker 2: like please don't exactly.
Speaker 7: Well, you know, it's a great gift you mentioned before.
Speaker 1: The Drink Works Home bar by curric mag Grats is
Speaker 1: great too, honestly, but we have a Drink Works Home
Speaker 1: bar by here in the studio.
Speaker 4: I'm looking at it and I'm liking it, and we
Speaker 4: have some pods.
Speaker 7: Sarah, you are going to be in.
Speaker 5: Our barroom, in our barroom, a little great thing because
Speaker 5: it's right there on the it's right there on the shelf.
Speaker 7: It doesn't take up a lot of space.
Speaker 4: It fits right in and it's beautiful.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's it honestly, is is so incredibly easy. Okay,
Speaker 2: So Sarah, you've got the pod right there. So Mark,
Speaker 2: why don't you guys make a little cocktail right now?
Speaker 2: For Sarah? Which one are you thing?
Speaker 7: Sarah? Well? Motion should I do?
Speaker 5: Should I go with a little ginger snap white Russian?
Speaker 5: Or a little pised punch?
Speaker 4: I mean, what time is it?
Speaker 7: Do you carewer spritzer?
Speaker 4: And I would love a pomegranate elderflower sprats?
Speaker 1: There it is, Consider it done. You're gonna hear it
Speaker 1: humming in just a moment here.
Speaker 2: Let you guys have you guys have a cure for coffee,
Speaker 2: but now you have a cure for cocktails. And you
Speaker 2: just press a button and it's like bam. It's so awesome.
Speaker 2: They're great for parties. We actually just use it the
Speaker 2: other day for our game night.
Speaker 7: What did you do?
Speaker 1: Who's the bartender in your family? Or did you put
Speaker 1: it on self serve mode?
Speaker 2: Oh? Self serve mode?
Speaker 7: Yeah, the bartender, Mike, he's gone strong.
Speaker 2: I usually just pour the wine.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I gotta I got a heavy hand. So this
Speaker 3: is this is more for people. I Mike, look, you
Speaker 3: have some more options here. Have at it. It's all you.
Speaker 1: You don't worry about a heavy hand anymore. This thing
Speaker 1: makes it perfect every time, every time, and they are delicious.
Speaker 2: There's it's so good. Honestly, it's the best gift for
Speaker 2: a dad. I mean, Sarah, yes, and he loves to
Speaker 2: mix up for drinks. The market one's so good.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 8: The thing that's amazing it So I don't drink, so
Speaker 8: I don't know how to make any drinks. But now
Speaker 8: I can have people over and like guys and be like, oh,
Speaker 8: I'll make you a margarita, which I have no idea
Speaker 8: what's even in a margarita? But now I can totally
Speaker 8: do it and be like, excuse me, can I make
Speaker 8: you a Winter mule?
Speaker 2: I'll take it, no, one thousand percent. It's it's it's
Speaker 2: same for me because I'm like, I don't all I
Speaker 2: do is drink wine. So with the you know, the
Speaker 2: drink works, I can just be like they're like, oh wow, Jane,
Speaker 2: I really stepped up your game. I'm like, nah, took
Speaker 2: two seconds.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 8: It's so easy, and I feel like it gives us
Speaker 8: crib especially with dudes. Like a girl gets this and
Speaker 8: then she can just look like a hero to all
Speaker 8: the guides.
Speaker 4: Her dad's gotta be.
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Speaker 3: And again remember it's just as easy as a Cure
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Speaker 2: It's fantastic because I'm a mom. Just please remember enjoy responsibly.
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Speaker 2: I'm so flaccd. Actually I like doing this.
Speaker 6: He too. I'm sorry for being so difficult to track down.
Speaker 2: My goodness. No, you're a busy man, and you've got
Speaker 2: a busy life, and you've got a bunch of kids.
Speaker 2: So we totally totally get.
Speaker 6: It all on the kids.
Speaker 4: Oh, I can't wait to do that when you have six?
Speaker 2: What are the ages? Everyone just took a real big like.
Speaker 4: That's amazing.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's it's it's amazing. No, I'm kidding, it is amazing.
Speaker 2: Did she want more kids or was it something you
Speaker 2: guys mutually agreed on or is it just kind of like, oh, hey,
Speaker 2: we're pregnant again.
Speaker 6: We didn't. We didn't plan any of it.
Speaker 3: We didn't.
Speaker 6: We didn't. Yeah, the first one we had, we had Liam,
Speaker 6: and then fifteen months later we had Stella, and then
Speaker 6: there was like a four year break, and then we
Speaker 6: had Hattie, and then ten months later we had Finn.
Speaker 6: So we have Irish twins.
Speaker 4: Wow.
Speaker 6: Oh wow, and another four year break and then we
Speaker 6: had bo Wow. Yeah. And I thought I thought after
Speaker 6: Finn we were we were done. I just turned fifty.
Speaker 6: You know, Tory was in her forties, early forties, so
Speaker 6: we just thought everything was kind of taking its natural
Speaker 6: course and not working anymore.
Speaker 4: Nope, surprise, surprise.
Speaker 6: Yeah. So being having a having a two and a
Speaker 6: half year old at fifty three, that's a party.
Speaker 4: So how old's oldest?
Speaker 6: My oldest is twenty one for my first marriage, got it,
Speaker 6: Jack is twenty one, and then my oldest with Tori
Speaker 6: is twelve, so it goes twelve, eleven, eight, seven and
Speaker 6: two and a half.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 6: Yeah, in it, just.
Speaker 3: In the fin in it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we are looking at a hero.
Speaker 6: Modern that. I'll take that. I've never heard that.
Speaker 7: Wow, I've never heard that.
Speaker 2: So we're just going to jump right into it. So
Speaker 2: we we got you on the show because I can't remember.
Speaker 2: I was just going through my Twitter like a month
Speaker 2: or so ago, and it had a headline from US
Speaker 2: Weekly and it was like, Dean McDermott offers advice to
Speaker 2: you know, Janna and her husband. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: I was like, this is interesting. I'm gonna click on this.
Speaker 2: And I immediately texted our producer Amy and I was
Speaker 2: just like, we have to get him on the show.
Speaker 2: I know he has zero clue who we are, but
Speaker 2: obviously and I knew that too when you had the interview,
Speaker 2: I was like, Oh, poor guys. I don't know these
Speaker 2: freaking people are they?
Speaker 6: When they asked me, I honestly I didn't. I didn't know,
Speaker 6: so I apologize don't know.
Speaker 2: Zeroze no, no, zero zero, But I feel.
Speaker 4: Like that's nothing.
Speaker 6: I hope it was sound advice.
Speaker 2: No, it was good. And I think what you said
Speaker 2: basically is, you know, because our stuff has been so
Speaker 2: public as well, and you know with you guys, is
Speaker 2: you guys were kind of the the beginning of that.
Speaker 2: I mean, when you guys shared all of your marriage struggles,
Speaker 2: I feel like the people weren't ready for it yet.
Speaker 2: And I think that's what you had said in your
Speaker 2: interview too, Whereas it was just kind of WHOA, You're
Speaker 2: sharing all this information?
Speaker 6: Yeah, sharing it through through true Tory sharing it and
Speaker 6: you know, sort of solving our problems in the town square. Yeah,
Speaker 6: that was. That was It's really interesting looking back at
Speaker 6: it because in the middle of it, the great thing
Speaker 6: about it was it really sort of expedited us getting
Speaker 6: into therapy and getting help and starting to talk about
Speaker 6: this because you know, I've seen people go through this
Speaker 6: before and they don't talk to each other and they
Speaker 6: automatically just end things and it takes a really hard
Speaker 6: it's really really hard to get them back together to
Speaker 6: even start to talk to each other. So doing the
Speaker 6: show really really got us together and got us talking
Speaker 6: right away, which was great. But you know, looking at
Speaker 6: it now, sort of solving your problems in the town square,
Speaker 6: there's a price.
Speaker 4: To it, you know, of course, well everyone can chime in.
Speaker 6: Everyone and and and you know, we were doing it
Speaker 6: with the you know, with with the thought of you know,
Speaker 6: getting through it ourselves but also helping others. And and
Speaker 6: but with that, we weren't thinking comes all the backlash
Speaker 6: and the haters and all the naysayers. We just you know,
Speaker 6: we were really positive about it, considering you know, how
Speaker 6: negative what what I did was, you know, so it's
Speaker 6: it was a really it was a slippery slope, and
Speaker 6: once in a while we'll get stopped by people who say,
Speaker 6: thank you very much for doing that, and and that
Speaker 6: really helps. That makes it kind of worth, yea worth
Speaker 6: going through all that stuff. But you're really, you're really
Speaker 6: I felt like I was in one of those stockades
Speaker 6: in the middle of town.
Speaker 4: I cannot I say to them all the time.
Speaker 6: People could throw tomatoes at me and tell me what
Speaker 6: they thought of me, and you know, it really messed
Speaker 6: with me. But you know, we we did it, and
Speaker 6: and the great thing is is we worked it out
Speaker 6: or together and things are stronger and better than ever.
Speaker 3: I mean that sounds so identical and parallel and familiar
Speaker 3: for us, all of that. And what was because I
Speaker 3: feel like Dean, for you and I who they're the
Speaker 3: ones who are the perpetrators and kind of did you
Speaker 3: know the deed that kind of caused everything? What was
Speaker 3: the moment that you and Tory decided Okay, let's address
Speaker 3: this publicly and not keep it in house, because I
Speaker 3: feel like that's the natural thing, right, especially for me.
Speaker 3: I felt so much shame at the beginning. I just
Speaker 3: wanted to be like, no, I don't want to talk
Speaker 3: to anybody about it. Let's just keep it between us
Speaker 3: and deal with it. So what kind of encouraged you
Speaker 3: to come around and be like you know what, Tory,
Speaker 3: let's you know, dressed this head on, like you said
Speaker 3: in the town Square.
Speaker 6: Right, Well, you know, we didn't have a choice in it,
Speaker 6: you know, coming out you know, US US magazine broke
Speaker 6: this story. You know, a friend of mine, I was
Speaker 6: set up, like my friends sold the story. La la la,
Speaker 6: a friend, a friend of twenty two years.
Speaker 2: That's just my cars was my he was our wedding.
Speaker 2: So yeah, we hear you on that. And it sucks, right.
Speaker 6: Wow, Yeah, you know you and I we shouldn't have
Speaker 6: been doing what we were doing, but it didn't need
Speaker 6: to play out that way, you know, and our story
Speaker 6: broke Christmas Eve.
Speaker 7: Oh, I just got so again.
Speaker 6: You know it's all my fault, but you know, but
Speaker 6: it's done. So you know, we it was out there
Speaker 6: and everybody had their opinion on it, and everybody had
Speaker 6: something to say about it, and you know, we got
Speaker 6: to a point where you know, it was just it
Speaker 6: was out of control. You know, the headlines, you know
Speaker 6: how they make them up, right, so you know this,
Speaker 6: I'd been doing this for years and I was you know,
Speaker 6: I wanted out of the marriage because I wasn't getting
Speaker 6: any money from the family. Blah blah blah. All this
Speaker 6: BS right. So we sat down and said, look, you
Speaker 6: know what, everybody's got their opinion, so let's take this
Speaker 6: opportunity to tell the truth. And so that's why we
Speaker 6: came up with the idea and we were approached to
Speaker 6: do true Tory. But even before that, you know, we
Speaker 6: issued statements. But yeah, we just sat down and said,
Speaker 6: enough of this. This is a circus, this is a sideshow.
Speaker 6: There's so many things that are wrong that people are saying,
Speaker 6: let's go public and let's tell our truth. And that's
Speaker 6: what we did. And then then the show kicked in
Speaker 6: and we got, you know, the opportunity to go even
Speaker 6: farther with it.
Speaker 2: I feel like, too, it's such a for your kids
Speaker 2: as well. So that way they can see because they're
Speaker 2: going to read about it, they would been able to
Speaker 2: google it, and this way it's there, you're able to
Speaker 2: say like, hey, this is what we've done, and this
Speaker 2: is how we've been able to make it work. And
Speaker 2: I feel like in a way, I know you kind
Speaker 2: of dread that moment that the kids find out, but
Speaker 2: at the same time, hopefully it's years down there, and
Speaker 2: you're like, look but look at of how strong we
Speaker 2: are now, and look what we've done, and look who
Speaker 2: we've helped along the way.
Speaker 3: I don't know, yeah, and I feel like i'd just
Speaker 3: be like living another lie where you have to like
Speaker 3: manage everyone around you, trying to make sure they don't
Speaker 3: find out information and all that stuff. So it's like,
Speaker 3: if it's out there, it is what it is.
Speaker 6: Yeah, And I think, you know, once they start asking,
Speaker 6: I think you have to kind of sort of nip
Speaker 6: it in the bud for lack of a better word,
Speaker 6: and tell them exactly what happened, because you know they're
Speaker 6: going to read twenty different variations.
Speaker 5: Of well and then they go to school and other
Speaker 5: kids talk, and it's just I can't.
Speaker 2: It for you that was was not missing. I don't
Speaker 2: want to say I don't want to be insensitive to
Speaker 2: like that, but you know, I know, like, okay, same
Speaker 2: with Michael, like he's been unfaithful in every relationship he's
Speaker 2: ever had. I know you had you chew on your
Speaker 2: first wife, and then with this is did you see
Speaker 2: an addictive pattern or was it just something where something
Speaker 2: in yourself that you felt was missing.
Speaker 6: I didn't see it as an addictive pattern. My first
Speaker 6: marriage lasted for twelve years, and you know it, it
Speaker 6: started to break down a long time ago, but you know,
Speaker 6: I stayed with it because that's what I thought, you know,
Speaker 6: that was that was it, that's the that's the best
Speaker 6: it gets.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 6: We had our son, Jack, who's amazing, and I just thought, okay, well,
Speaker 6: you know, you have a kid, and and this is
Speaker 6: what marriage is at a certain point, you know, like.
Speaker 3: You know, I.
Speaker 6: I I hesitated to say it was loveless because I
Speaker 6: really cared for and I still do. She's a she's
Speaker 6: a great woman. But it just, you know, that that spark,
Speaker 6: that fire just wasn't there. And I thought, you know,
Speaker 6: this is this is as good as it happened, this
Speaker 6: is this is life. And then I met Torri when
Speaker 6: we were working together in Ottawa, and I'd never felt
Speaker 6: anything like that in my life. I'd never felt that connection.
Speaker 6: From the moment we met, it was just you know, fireworks,
Speaker 6: and I I just couldn't I couldn't resist. I couldn't resist,
Speaker 6: but I also couldn't lie to myself anymore, Like I
Speaker 6: kept distracting my things with distracting myself with different things,
Speaker 6: you know, sports and golf and all these kind of things,
Speaker 6: distracting myself from my first relationship to not face my unhappiness.
Speaker 6: So once I met Torri, you know, we worked together
Speaker 6: for three and a half weeks, and at the end
Speaker 6: of the three and a half weeks, I'm like, I
Speaker 6: can't walk away from this. I can't like this is
Speaker 6: you know, you have a decision to make. You know,
Speaker 6: you really really do you really have to grow a
Speaker 6: pair and you know, do the right thing and get
Speaker 6: out of your first marriage, because it's it's not fair
Speaker 6: to her, it's not fair to Jack, and it's not
Speaker 6: fair to me. I wasn't being honest with myself. I
Speaker 6: met someone that I instantly fell in love with and
Speaker 6: felt something I've never felt before my life. So that's
Speaker 6: it was like I have to I have to man
Speaker 6: up and I have to do the right thing. And then,
Speaker 6: you know, so we dissolved the marriage. But it was
Speaker 6: it was more out of a connection and love for
Speaker 6: each other that we got together. It wasn't a cheating,
Speaker 6: addictive pattern.
Speaker 2: What about when you were married with Tori. Though when
Speaker 2: that episode was that just like an episode.
Speaker 6: That episode was about a combination of things. I suffer
Speaker 6: from depression. I have clinical depression, and I can as
Speaker 6: great as things can look on the outside, and how
Speaker 6: happy and great my life looks on the outside. I
Speaker 6: calmed a little. The angry little dwarf in my head
Speaker 6: really beats the crap out of me. And I even
Speaker 6: though you know, I was on I was hosting Chop Canada,
Speaker 6: I had a cookbook coming out, like I was on
Speaker 6: fire in the Food Network. I was incredibly unhappy and
Speaker 6: hated myself and I started drinking and started using drugs
Speaker 6: again and I needed to fill a hole and it
Speaker 6: and it's really bizarre how it happened, like that's the
Speaker 6: last thing I was looking for. I was. I was
Speaker 6: just happy to just drink and party. I wasn't looking
Speaker 6: for any kind of a hookup or anything like that
Speaker 6: at all. It was it was the farthest thing from
Speaker 6: my mind, and it just it just happened so easily
Speaker 6: and just kind of out of the blue and laisse
Speaker 6: fair and I went with it obviously without thinking, and
Speaker 6: you know, was looking to fill this void and it
Speaker 6: didn't fill the void. It created a chasm. You know,
Speaker 6: I created the Grand Canyon with with doing what I did.
Speaker 6: But you know, at the end of the day, going
Speaker 6: through everything we've gone through, I'm amazed at the resolve
Speaker 6: of my wife Tori. I thought for sure it was done.
Speaker 6: I thought it was done. I just thought, why on
Speaker 6: earth would you want to be with me? And it's
Speaker 6: you know, it's it's funny, it's it's something that I've
Speaker 6: maintained before this happened. As well as I was. I
Speaker 6: was surprised that, you know, Tory Spelling was interested in me.
Speaker 6: I'm like, why we're married, we have kids?
Speaker 2: Like you?
Speaker 6: I don't get it. Why me? Yeah, I still I
Speaker 6: I didn't have that. I devalued myself. I didn't think
Speaker 6: that highly of myself. I thought, I mean, I'm the
Speaker 6: luckiest guy in the world, but not it's not worth
Speaker 6: not worth worthy of this. And so when the affair happened,
Speaker 6: I thought, it's it's done, it's over. It's she's gonna
Speaker 6: walk away, and rightfully so. And and I you know,
Speaker 6: I maintained that through you. If you see, if you
Speaker 6: watch the show, I'll be like, why why are you
Speaker 6: still doing this? Why are you with me? I you know,
Speaker 6: I did something absolutely horrible to you, and she's she made.
Speaker 2: Almost like you feel like you didn't deserve it too.
Speaker 2: You know, It's like it's like you didn't feel like
Speaker 2: you deserved it, so you just sabotage, sabotaged it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: sabotaged it.
Speaker 6: I'm sabotage. I'm really great at it. I've I've done it.
Speaker 6: I mean, look at this armful of tattoos that I
Speaker 6: absolutely love. But as an actor, good idea? Anybody anybody
Speaker 6: gonna take on this?
Speaker 2: Yeah, the greatest, but it's I mean, it looks really nice.
Speaker 2: Where a lot of people that I talked to, one
Speaker 2: of their biggest things is like how, And I know
Speaker 2: this is something we've struggled with too, is how for
Speaker 2: when when when me and Tory or we get upset
Speaker 2: and triggered. What has helped you have empathy and stay
Speaker 2: grounded and not go defensive? Because I feel like that's
Speaker 2: been sort of an issue with us and a lot
Speaker 2: of other women ask Michael that too, like what do
Speaker 2: you what do you do? What are your tips and
Speaker 2: and tricks for when that moment arises and you need
Speaker 2: to be empathetic for maybe her feelings, but you're you know,
Speaker 2: you feel shame, and you feel guilt and anger and
Speaker 2: what you might feel.
Speaker 6: Well, right out of the gate, you said something great
Speaker 6: that you have to be empathetic to her, and absolutely,
Speaker 6: you know that's that's a must. You know, when when
Speaker 6: when she gets triggered. And I've been very, very fortunate
Speaker 6: that Tori is so even keeled and so smart that
Speaker 6: she's able to sort of think her way through these
Speaker 6: things and look at the big picture. Very seldom has
Speaker 6: she been triggered. But when she does get triggered, you know,
Speaker 6: obviously your first your first instinct is to go in
Speaker 6: the defensive. It's it's human nature. And I think you
Speaker 6: have to as the man, as the perpetrator, you have
Speaker 6: to sit back and go, okay, wait a second. You
Speaker 6: gotta this is part of the process. You know, it's
Speaker 6: it's going to go on for the rest of my life,
Speaker 6: our life together, So you know, you better get good
Speaker 6: at looking pausing, looking at the big picture, just going okay,
Speaker 6: you know what, I gotta take my lumps, and you know,
Speaker 6: I can't be so defensive. I've really got to have
Speaker 6: an open mind here and really put myself in her shoes,
Speaker 6: because once, once you get on the defensive, you just
Speaker 6: kind of shut down and you can't see, you know,
Speaker 6: the other person's point of view or their feelings. So
Speaker 6: you just gotta shut the f up. Listen, be empathetic, sympathetic,
Speaker 6: and just just love her, and you know what, just
Speaker 6: be thankful that she's still in your life, because it's
Speaker 6: so easily could have gone the other way. You know,
Speaker 6: you could be you could be sitting in an apartment
Speaker 6: rented apartment by yourself.
Speaker 3: That's you know, that's funny you say that and everything,
Speaker 3: Like I just feel like I'm watching myself talk about
Speaker 3: these kind of things being just in the similarities of
Speaker 3: everything and that even just that last thing you said,
Speaker 3: I almost have that uh sabotage mindset of I'll be
Speaker 3: driving around Just the other day I was doing I
Speaker 3: was driving around, and the part town I was in,
Speaker 3: I saw some like you know, single bedroom apartments or
Speaker 3: little houses, and I had this like anxiety of like,
Speaker 3: that's where i'd probably be right now if you know,
Speaker 3: things didn't work out the way they did, if Jana
Speaker 3: wasn't strong enough to take me back, like how and
Speaker 3: just like you said, how do I get this amazing,
Speaker 3: beautiful woman, and it is just that self sabotage and
Speaker 3: not good enough and everything like that. But it's again
Speaker 3: that last thing you said, I literally I think about
Speaker 3: that more than I definitely should. And that is healthy too,
Speaker 3: where it's like that's where i'd probably be living right now,
Speaker 3: That's where i'd probably be living, even though I know
Speaker 3: I'd find a way to be successful, But still that
Speaker 3: part of me is I, I really did everything I
Speaker 3: could to ruin this relationship, in this family. Why do
Speaker 3: I deserve to still be here? Why am I not
Speaker 3: there in that one bedom apartment. It's just it's tough,
Speaker 3: and I think that's one of those things, just like
Speaker 3: you talked about with the triggers with them, is that
Speaker 3: shame there's gonna be part of it, at least for
Speaker 3: me right now, because I mean we're only three and
Speaker 3: a half years post discovery of everything, but I feel
Speaker 3: like a part of that shame is still gonna be
Speaker 3: there for a long time where it's like a part
Speaker 3: of me is still maybe try to convince myself I'm
Speaker 3: undeserving or whatever it may be. And it's just that
Speaker 3: fleeting moment for a second on a day. It doesn't
Speaker 3: overtake me. It doesn't all day. It's just that fleeting
Speaker 3: second that you still feel that kind of humbles you
Speaker 3: and grounds you enough to scare the out of you
Speaker 3: of where things could be.
Speaker 6: Yeah, hang on to that, Yeah, hang on to that
Speaker 6: because it's it's a good reminder. I think that, you know,
Speaker 6: this is where things could have gone. And it's interesting
Speaker 6: you said you have these these moments of of of
Speaker 6: the feeling, the shame and stuff and all have that
Speaker 6: moment when somebody just looks at me funny, and it's
Speaker 6: usually usually a female. If they kind of look at
Speaker 6: me funny, I'm like, oh, she knows and she hates me.
Speaker 3: She's yeah, yeah, you know.
Speaker 6: And I've seen it where you know, Mr Tory and
Speaker 6: I are out and they're like, oh, sorry, you're amazing,
Speaker 6: we love you, and dah da dada, and then look
Speaker 6: at me and completely ignore me. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 6: they know and they hate me because I did what
Speaker 6: I did, you know. And then so it's really but
Speaker 6: at the same time though, it's it's great to have
Speaker 6: those moments because it is it's like, yeah, you know what,
Speaker 6: you you really messed up, You really messed up and
Speaker 6: like I said, this is this is gonna happen. I'm
Speaker 6: gonna have these feelings and we're gonna have to work
Speaker 6: this out for the rest of our life together.
Speaker 2: And when you say rest of your life, and I
Speaker 2: know people have asked us too, it's like when like,
Speaker 2: stop bringing it up, stop talking about it, and it's like,
Speaker 2: I don't, I'm not, I don't want to bring it.
Speaker 2: It's just unfortunately, it's just something that's gonna live there forever.
Speaker 2: And now the magnitude of it isn't as big as
Speaker 2: it was back in the day, but like through all
Speaker 2: of our therapy that you know, I do personally and
Speaker 2: he does, and we do together, but it is gonna Unfortunately,
Speaker 2: I think Jason said that too when he was a
Speaker 2: guest Inner Shadows.
Speaker 3: Is that the book worthy of a true.
Speaker 2: Worthy of a trust where it's like it is going
Speaker 2: to be there forever. And that's something that I think
Speaker 2: you've had a harder time too. And it's like because
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't, I wouldn't. I don't want it
Speaker 2: to be there, and we try not to talk about Unfortunately,
Speaker 2: now our podcast is now about that, but you know,
Speaker 2: not about that but like about relationships and struggles and stuff.
Speaker 2: But it's it's interesting and I almost feel not guilty, guilty,
Speaker 2: but I I don't want you to always have to
Speaker 2: feel shame when we do talk about it, no.
Speaker 3: And like Dean saying, it's it's it's actually not even
Speaker 3: reflective of maybe how when you guys are triggered. It's
Speaker 3: more so kind of these other moments where Dean, I
Speaker 3: appreciate what you just said, because we just we do
Speaker 3: like we take this podcast on the road. We don't
Speaker 3: record podcasts, but we do like an evening with kind
Speaker 3: of show and it's me Janna and Sayah, they're sitting
Speaker 3: next to you, and we do live shows and Jana
Speaker 3: and I do like a meet and greet before the show.
Speaker 3: And sometimes I have that feeling too, where I can
Speaker 3: tell I can just feel someone's energy. I'm like, maybe
Speaker 3: they don't want to stand next to me, not just
Speaker 3: because they're huge fans of Jenna, but maybe it's because
Speaker 3: I'm a sex addict. Maybe they have this weird misconceived
Speaker 3: notion and judgment of a sex act and they think
Speaker 3: there's some creep predator or whatever. I just go into
Speaker 3: that shame and that's where I start going. I go
Speaker 3: down that rabbit hole. I'm like, maybe that's why that
Speaker 3: person didn't want to stand next to me. Maybe they are. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it just it's that shame that just still eats your
Speaker 3: soul a little bit. But I don't think it's to
Speaker 3: the point where it's unhealthy anymore. It's to the point,
Speaker 3: like you're saying, Dean, where it's like you hold onto
Speaker 3: a little bit of that to scary straight and that's okay.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, And that's and that's our cross to bear,
Speaker 6: you know, because we did what we did, and it's
Speaker 6: just like, you know, tough, tough crap boys. You you
Speaker 6: know you did this. You gotta you know, you got
Speaker 6: to carry this cross well.
Speaker 5: And I definitely get what you guys are saying about
Speaker 5: the guys, But then I feel like it's kind of
Speaker 5: the same probably for Tory and Janne. Like you know,
Speaker 5: people may look at you guys and be like, oh,
Speaker 5: look what he did, But then they might look at
Speaker 5: Jane and Tory and be like, oh my god, I
Speaker 5: can't believe she stayed with him, or I can't believe
Speaker 5: she's with you know. It's it's also both sides and
Speaker 5: it's probably not that it's not hard, but it's probably
Speaker 5: harder for you know, Janet to be there, especially in
Speaker 5: Tory in the beginning, you know, at the grocery store whatever,
Speaker 5: walking with.
Speaker 4: You, and then people be like, what, like she's still
Speaker 4: with I don't know.
Speaker 6: I feel like in the beginning that was there a
Speaker 6: lot And I don't know if that was the same
Speaker 6: for you. But you know, Tory would get you know,
Speaker 6: comments and and and then especially social media.
Speaker 4: Oh of course, like what are you doing? You're so dumb?
Speaker 6: And you know the internet magazines they have the comment section,
Speaker 6: and stay away from them, just stay away from any
Speaker 6: comment section. But yeah, I know Tory would would get
Speaker 6: a lot of flak for that, said, why would you
Speaker 6: stay with it? He's a pig? Da da da da,
Speaker 6: And you know that's that's something that you know, she
Speaker 6: had to work through and and her, like I said,
Speaker 6: her resolve was she was just she's so strong, she's
Speaker 6: she just maintains like, Look, I'm really upset and hurt
Speaker 6: by what he did, but I love him. He's the
Speaker 6: love of my life. I can't turn that off, right,
Speaker 6: and we have a family together, you know, I can't
Speaker 6: walk away from that. So it's it's it's tough in
Speaker 6: the beginning, and now it's it's it's turned. It's it's
Speaker 6: totally turned. And now a lot of people are like,
Speaker 6: you know, so glad you guys stayed together. You're a
Speaker 6: great example. But you know, for it's funny, guys, we
Speaker 6: want to we want everything, We want to fix everything
Speaker 6: right and then be done. It's like, okay, put you know,
Speaker 6: bundle this up in this need of the package.
Speaker 3: It's done.
Speaker 6: Okay, we don't have to talk about it anymore. But again,
Speaker 6: you know, we that that's not going to happen in
Speaker 6: that situation. And when I say, you know, you guys,
Speaker 6: you'll have to carry this for the the rest of
Speaker 6: your life, the same way that you'll carry your wedding
Speaker 6: vows that you had for each other for the rest
Speaker 6: of your life and those great moments, and it's like,
Speaker 6: here's a bad moment that affected our relationship as good
Speaker 6: as our vows were in our wedding day, was that
Speaker 6: we'll remember for the rest of our lives. We're going
Speaker 6: to remember this for the rest of our lives too,
Speaker 6: this black mark, and it's just something that gets easier
Speaker 6: with time. But it'll never ever go away. I think,
Speaker 6: in my opinion, no.
Speaker 3: I ever go away.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wish there was a magic wand but at
Speaker 2: the same time, I feel like it's made us stronger.
Speaker 2: But I for someone you say, I guess I'm scared
Speaker 2: moving on, Like marriage is only going to get harder
Speaker 2: with the kids were we could potentially a lot of
Speaker 2: people I don't see. I don't see a lot of
Speaker 2: people really growing together. I see what people growing apart.
Speaker 2: And I think that's always been kind of my fear is, oh, shoot,
Speaker 2: I think I'm like pre menstrual. But no, cry no,
Speaker 2: but I I just like my fear is, you know,
Speaker 2: when they get in that situation or you know when hell,
Speaker 2: it could be me too. What if I'm on a
Speaker 2: movie set, you know, and I start to go into
Speaker 2: my love addict ways, or it's like, what's the thing
Speaker 2: that's going to stop you guys from maybe going down
Speaker 2: that route again? And then it's like, hey, they're more
Speaker 2: like twenty years in and like, you know, it's like
Speaker 2: now then now what Now It's like our kids are
Speaker 2: even older and now we've got twenty years of marriage,
Speaker 2: and how could you then do it? I know, it's
Speaker 2: all the what if game that you hate playing? But
Speaker 2: I think that's what like lives within me because I'm like,
Speaker 2: what's going to stop you the next go around?
Speaker 3: Right? Right?
Speaker 6: Future tripping?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Terrible? I know.
Speaker 2: And then like that's something massive that I've worked on
Speaker 2: in therapy, but it's something that's like underground obviously, which
Speaker 2: is why it's coming out.
Speaker 3: Is that is that all primarily from us? Or does
Speaker 3: it have to do with your parents divorcing as well
Speaker 3: when you were.
Speaker 2: I think there's something that I can dive deeper in
Speaker 2: with the therapist, but I feel like it's a lot
Speaker 2: when I think about it. It's like, you know, even
Speaker 2: because they say once cheater, always a cheater, you know,
Speaker 2: And I know it's different for you know, unfortunately addicts.
Speaker 2: You know you today, you're healthy, Tomorrow we don't know.
Speaker 2: But I guess that's just my fear. Is you know,
Speaker 2: what's going to stop y'all from going down that road
Speaker 2: again when that's an easy exit, exit trip, right?
Speaker 6: I think that's about gaining trust in him again?
Speaker 2: Is it about boundaries or staying grounded too? Like for
Speaker 2: you guys to know kind of what you have and
Speaker 2: it's just maybe a rough patch that you might be
Speaker 2: in or if you're feeling bored in the relationship. I
Speaker 2: guess that's what I'm getting at, Like, what if you
Speaker 2: guys are like, I'm bored with this and I'm I don't,
Speaker 2: I'm not. I don't know if I feel in love anymore. So,
Speaker 2: but hey, here's something really shiny at a club or
Speaker 2: at a bar, or at a grocery store. How do
Speaker 2: you not go down aisle one.
Speaker 6: Well, that's that's what's great about, you know, having those
Speaker 6: reminders of like, this could have gone a completely different way.
Speaker 6: So that's that's that's the great thing about having that
Speaker 6: cross to bears, I did what I did. So you
Speaker 6: have to always keep that in the forefront because it's like, yeah, Okay,
Speaker 6: if I'm getting bored or I think the relationship of
Speaker 6: stale and I see this shiny thing in the club, whoa,
Speaker 6: I know that shiny thing in the club is going
Speaker 6: to cost me my marriage and my family because I've
Speaker 6: been there before. So that's the great thing about having
Speaker 6: this this sort of a reminder. And you know, if
Speaker 6: if you are feeling you know, bored, and you're even
Speaker 6: thinking on, hey, you know what I'm feeling attracted to
Speaker 6: other women. Talk about it, talk about it. You know,
Speaker 6: I'm bored, you know, I'm tired of our sex life.
Speaker 6: Talk about it. That's the best thing you can do.
Speaker 2: Not maybe to your wife, but to somebody else.
Speaker 4: I don't know if I want well, I don't know,
Speaker 4: I mean, you know, or maybe have a sex life.
Speaker 2: If you said, like I'm I'm I'm attracted to other people,
Speaker 2: to tory or.
Speaker 6: I'm feeling that, it's just like you know, but maybe
Speaker 6: that's that's that's the wrong Wow, that's the wrong word.
Speaker 6: I'm attracted other people.
Speaker 5: Or just.
Speaker 6: I know, I know, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just feeling
Speaker 6: feeling like something's missing that and you know what, you
Speaker 6: know what that is. I think if we're feeling attracted
Speaker 6: to other people is because we're starting to hate on ourself.
Speaker 6: We're really you know, that angry dwarf is going off
Speaker 6: on our head again and digging us in a in
Speaker 6: a hole, telling us we're worthless pieces of crap. So
Speaker 6: we're we need we need to we need to feel attracted,
Speaker 6: so we're gonna start kind of putting it out there
Speaker 6: to other people. It's like, oh, she's kind of cute,
Speaker 6: Maybe I'll flirt with her a little bit. I feel
Speaker 6: fill that little hole a little bit. If you make
Speaker 6: eye contact, you know it, talk about it, talk about it.
Speaker 6: It's the best thing, the best thing I think you
Speaker 6: can do. And that's the best thing that's works for.
Speaker 3: Tory and I.
Speaker 6: And as hard as it is, it's not easy to go, hey,
Speaker 6: you know what I'm feeling. Really, I'm feeling bored in
Speaker 6: the relationship, Like that's a tough conversation to have.
Speaker 3: Have it.
Speaker 2: I'd rather you have it than find it.
Speaker 3: And then yeah, and it's all about.
Speaker 2: For me too. I would say the same thing.
Speaker 3: About delivery too. Sure, right, I can't be saying relationship right,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean? So I feel like a
Speaker 3: lot of times so people push it down until it
Speaker 3: comes out.
Speaker 6: But roller coaster, I'm tired of this.
Speaker 3: Yeah. By the way, so let's uh, before we let
Speaker 3: you go, Dean, let's transition out of that real quick.
Speaker 3: And you're doing stand up now, how has that helped
Speaker 3: you kind of kind of you know, manufacturer, What got
Speaker 3: you into that? What helped you manufacture that kind of uh,
Speaker 3: you know, entertainment and everything you want to do within that.
Speaker 6: I've been a fan of comedy since I was nine
Speaker 6: or ten years old. My dad came home with an
Speaker 6: eight track. I don't know if you guys know what
Speaker 6: an eight track is, A lot younger than I am.
Speaker 6: So he came over with his eight track of Gene
Speaker 6: Tracy and Jean Tracy was an old truck stop comedian
Speaker 6: and he would tour all the truck stops in the South,
Speaker 6: and he was filthy. He was filthy, like I'd learned
Speaker 6: all about every sex physician and and he just made
Speaker 6: every He just made people laugh. And so, you know,
Speaker 6: from then on there, I you know, I discovered Red Fox,
Speaker 6: and then Richard Pryor and Bob Newhart and Eddie Murphy
Speaker 6: and then Robin Williams, and I was like, okay, this
Speaker 6: is what I want to do. So when I got
Speaker 6: into acting at nineteen, my goal was to be a
Speaker 6: stand up but I didn't know why, Wow, can you
Speaker 6: swear on this?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Built built.
Speaker 6: I didn't know my ass for my elbow, so I
Speaker 6: didn't have a point of view. You know, I was
Speaker 6: just a young and eve and I had this this again,
Speaker 6: the angry dwarf from my head telling me how what
Speaker 6: a horrible person I am. So I was like, I
Speaker 6: can't I can't get on stage, I can't tell jokes,
Speaker 6: I can't do anything. So I found it easier to
Speaker 6: play other people. So I got into acting and I
Speaker 6: had a really nice I have a really great career acting.
Speaker 6: And then at fifty three, I went to see my
Speaker 6: buddy at a stand up club and I met Adam Hunter,
Speaker 6: who's my now my my comedy mentor, and he does
Speaker 6: a night every night Tuesdays at the Dime. And I
Speaker 6: told him my story and he's like, you got to
Speaker 6: get up. I'm like, I'm fifty three, man, you're going
Speaker 6: to do stand up now. He's like, no, you got
Speaker 6: to get up. You're not too old. You're never too old.
Speaker 6: Did you stand up? So he pestered me for like
Speaker 6: three months, So I said fine, and I wrote five
Speaker 6: minutes and I got up. And I've been going at
Speaker 6: it ever since.
Speaker 2: You killed that.
Speaker 6: It's yeah, it's it's addictive. And I've been very fortunate.
Speaker 6: You know. I opened for my friend at Caroline's in
Speaker 6: New York. I've had some really great opportunities and I'm
Speaker 6: just plugging away at it and I love it. I
Speaker 6: you know, I wish I hadn't done it, you know,
Speaker 6: when I was younger, but you know, I didn't I
Speaker 6: didn't have the point of view. Now I have six
Speaker 6: kids and I've.
Speaker 7: Been through a lot.
Speaker 6: I have a lot of content that I'm just scratching
Speaker 6: the surface too. I mean, with being a celebrity couple
Speaker 6: and being in the magazine Oh.
Speaker 4: My god, I can't imagine.
Speaker 6: And so yeah, so there's there's a lot of stuff
Speaker 6: to mine. So I'm looking to turn our pot cast
Speaker 6: Daddy Issues into a talk show or or or a sitcom.
Speaker 6: But I plan on, you know, planning doing my stand
Speaker 6: up and continue acting and just plugging away, just you know,
Speaker 6: trying to try to make a living, you know.
Speaker 2: And his Daddy Issues is it? Who else is on
Speaker 2: that podcast with you?
Speaker 6: Daddy Issues is with Adam Hunter, my mentor, and Nicky Paris.
Speaker 6: So Nicky's a gay comedian and he's fabulous. So our
Speaker 6: our sort of through line is Daddy Issues. I'm Dean McDermott,
Speaker 6: I have six kids, Adam Hunter is a new dad,
Speaker 6: and Nicky needs.
Speaker 2: A dad, so good. So, I mean, you have a
Speaker 2: lot going on and you're killing it.
Speaker 3: That's awesome. American guys. We're glad that that's going well
Speaker 3: for you. Thank you.
Speaker 6: Thank you. It's and talk about therapy. Oh my gosh,
Speaker 6: I just go up and I just tell everybody it's
Speaker 6: going on in my head and it's it's pretty funny.
Speaker 3: Good for you, man, Well, thank you so much for
Speaker 3: coming out and talking with us and being so My.
Speaker 6: Pleasure, my pleasure, and guys, keep it up, keep up
Speaker 6: to good work. Three and a half years out. That's
Speaker 6: it's awesome that you're still together. Right, it's awesome work.
Speaker 2: No, thank you, Dane. You've been our beacon of hope.
Speaker 2: So thank you.
Speaker 6: All the best.
Speaker 3: Guys, appreciate it, my pleasure.
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Speaker 3: That was good man. We could just get in a
Speaker 3: room with him and toy because I felt like he
Speaker 3: was just saying everything that we've said for the past
Speaker 3: year on this podcast, and it's just so refreshing to
Speaker 3: hear from someone else's mouth who's been through the same thing.
Speaker 3: It's just it's just kind of comforting a little bit.
Speaker 2: And I love how he was just like, Yeah, it's
Speaker 2: going to be with us forever, and that's that's okay.
Speaker 2: There's no shame in that. And I love that he
Speaker 2: felt that he said that because it just made it be.
Speaker 3: Like, okay, yeah, it was. It was great, man. That
Speaker 3: was awesome having Diana on, and we definitely got to
Speaker 3: get together with him and have dinner have some conversations
Speaker 3: because that was great. So I was thinking, before we
Speaker 3: we'll get to an email, but I'll think I want
Speaker 3: to touch on something that we talked about early in
Speaker 3: the episode, and we're talking about sentimental sentimental guests. Because
Speaker 3: I'm sitting here through everything kind of in the back
Speaker 3: of my mind multitasking, and I'm like, well, okay, what
Speaker 3: if I get Jana something sentimental? But what if it's
Speaker 3: not I don't write enough. What if I don't put
Speaker 3: enough effort? And you try laughing because there's a little
Speaker 3: inside joke here that I caught onto because for Jana's
Speaker 3: birthday birthday, birthday, apparently I didn't write enough of my
Speaker 3: own stuff within the card. I wrote a few lines.
Speaker 3: I'm one of those guys that kind of gives you
Speaker 3: a little underline the words that are being cool.
Speaker 2: Underline It's underline the card words happy birthday, happies underlined,
Speaker 2: like underline the ones if the card says you are
Speaker 2: the most beautiful, and they keith underline what they wrote under.
Speaker 3: Like, hey, homeworks said it right, I couldn't say better myself.
Speaker 3: Why am I going to reiterate? That's why I got
Speaker 3: the card because it said things that I feel and think,
Speaker 3: So why I say the same thing Otherwise I'll just
Speaker 3: get a blank card all the time. Just write it.
Speaker 3: Would you rather have that?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 3: So she would.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So this is funny. And the reason he's bringing
Speaker 2: this up is because Sarah didn't write my birthday card yet.
Speaker 2: And I said, honestly, girl, just tell me what you
Speaker 2: want to say, because I know.
Speaker 4: I was like, do you have a pen? I need
Speaker 4: to write your birthday card?
Speaker 5: And she was like, oh my god, just honestly tell me,
Speaker 5: because you know I have like a thing with birthday.
Speaker 2: I have a thing with cards in general.
Speaker 4: I mean with cards, sorry, ot with cards.
Speaker 2: For me personally.
Speaker 4: You took me into another room her.
Speaker 2: I don't want to upset Michael or like her.
Speaker 7: She goes.
Speaker 4: I just really hate when people don't, like, you know,
Speaker 4: write their feelings and mean it and write a lot.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, okay. So I go into the room and.
Speaker 5: Mike's like, what are you guys doing? Oh well, I'm just
Speaker 5: writing in Jana's card. But I'm not gonna write I'm
Speaker 5: just gonna say what I would say. I'd probably write
Speaker 5: something long and heartfelt and tell her you know how
Speaker 5: much I love her, and how how special of the
Speaker 5: day this is, and how you know this day would
Speaker 5: mean nothing because it's her birthday and if I wasn't
Speaker 5: here with And He's like, Okay, I get you're saying.
Speaker 2: I just wanted for some reason, I would. I've said
Speaker 2: this since I was probably in high school. I don't
Speaker 2: like I like cards that They're totally fine. The cards
Speaker 2: are made, especially Hallmark cards. I love them, but when
Speaker 2: I get them, I would rather have some I would
Speaker 2: rather like when I give someone a card, I write
Speaker 2: still like on the one side of it, like a
Speaker 2: real long you know, high school letter.
Speaker 4: But dear Mike, dear Mike.
Speaker 2: Comma. But if someone were to give me a card,
Speaker 2: I would rather than make the card and then write
Speaker 2: their own words, because that means more to me than
Speaker 2: just them giving me a Hallmark card and then saying
Speaker 2: happy birthday, love Mike.
Speaker 3: But I never just say that, but you write.
Speaker 2: Like one sentence, I will never.
Speaker 4: Birthday, have an amazing day.
Speaker 3: I will never ever get you a card with words
Speaker 3: in it ever again, every card will.
Speaker 5: I love that, No, because then it's going to be
Speaker 5: blank blank because he's don't going to know what to
Speaker 5: write in it. Fine, that's funny, That's that's actually funny
Speaker 5: because that is a thing with me and tytoo.
Speaker 4: So in the beginning, I love No.
Speaker 5: I love cards like even since literally I love I
Speaker 5: keep all my cards. I have cards since high school,
Speaker 5: and I always write, you know, not intense things. But
Speaker 5: I'll go on for a little bit, and he really
Speaker 5: caught on and it made me happy.
Speaker 2: You know, not all of them, because I'll keep the
Speaker 2: ones where he writes a lot, the other ones where
Speaker 2: he just says, yeah, I love you, happy birthday.
Speaker 3: I'm like, you'll keep my notes that say have like
Speaker 3: a sentence on them.
Speaker 2: But that's like what.
Speaker 1: If he underlines happy right exactly?
Speaker 3: You see how many underlines I had in that card.
Speaker 3: So for those who, uh who might ever give Jana
Speaker 3: a birthday card in the future, give her a card,
Speaker 3: put your blood sweat behind it on the back of it,
Speaker 3: tape a USB drive or to get USB drive with
Speaker 3: an entire thesis paper on how much you love her
Speaker 3: and how special she is.
Speaker 2: I think like four sentences would be the appropriate for
Speaker 2: at least four.
Speaker 1: I'm feeling bad because I texted her and it really
Speaker 1: wasn't nearly enough.
Speaker 7: Now that I think back on my text, birthday.
Speaker 2: Texts are totally fine. I'm saying in a card. For
Speaker 2: buying someone else's words, you should write more than you
Speaker 2: should write at least four sentences your own.
Speaker 3: My hand, Ryan's going to become really big.
Speaker 4: How do you sign your cards?
Speaker 3: You know how I signed mine every time? How do
Speaker 3: I sign one the m How do I sign mine? Uh?
Speaker 2: You slurp, unbelievable clearly the words your time?
Speaker 4: Because she obviously doesn't remember these cards.
Speaker 2: Forever yours, thank you.
Speaker 3: Love Michael, Forever yours love Michael.
Speaker 4: And every card love Michael.
Speaker 3: Okay, every note, every card, forever yours, love Michael.
Speaker 2: I do write I love that, I say I love you?
Speaker 3: What what? What more could I say in any other
Speaker 3: words besides forever yours?
Speaker 2: Oh? Thanks man saying what it's Janner right, dear Michael.
Speaker 3: She scribbles scribbles out the world.
Speaker 5: Do you do your signature like when you sign people's
Speaker 5: like shirts? Is that how you like sign your cards?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 2: I just do love wifey or jamma or slurp.
Speaker 3: Meanwhile, I'm like forever yours yours.
Speaker 2: You never mind ever, I'm ever, so.
Speaker 3: We can get out of here.
Speaker 1: Ashley, my husband and I are eighteen weeks pregnant. The
Speaker 1: past few days, my husband seemed distant and avoiding me.
Speaker 1: I sensed something was wrong, so I looked in his phone. No,
Speaker 1: I found no hold on. It's not where you think
Speaker 1: it's going. But it's not great either. I found a
Speaker 1: text exchange between him and his sister, in which he
Speaker 1: confided that he doesn't want this baby, that he never
Speaker 1: wanted this baby and resents me because I'm carrying the baby.
Speaker 1: He wrote how he doesn't know if he ever loved me,
Speaker 1: that I pressured him into marriage and kids. He told
Speaker 1: his sister. He's unhappy and doesn't know if he wants
Speaker 1: to be with me. Oh, I was blindsided. We both
Speaker 1: agreed to start trying for a family and moving our
Speaker 1: life forward. I believe it's his fear talking since it's
Speaker 1: our first child. But how can I move past this?
Speaker 1: He doesn't know. I saw the text exchange, and I've
Speaker 1: tried addressing the topic without cornering him. But my heart
Speaker 1: is broken and my anxiety is through the roof. I
Speaker 1: feel loft and numb. Any advice or prayers would be
Speaker 1: greatly appreciated.
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2: First of all, take a deep breath, baby, you're pregnant.
Speaker 2: That anxiety is not good. Oh, Mike, I have I
Speaker 2: don't have any words for this one. That's that's hard
Speaker 2: because I feel like when she says that it's her,
Speaker 2: it's it's his fear. But I don't know if I
Speaker 2: could ever forget those words if I saw that.
Speaker 4: Well, and it takes two to tango. He knows what
Speaker 4: he was doing when he got your pregnant.
Speaker 2: So and even if he felt forced, you still at
Speaker 2: the end of the day, and I can I can
Speaker 2: kind of relate to ours where it's like okay, I
Speaker 2: know sometimes you felt pressed to the fire, but at
Speaker 2: the same time, it was still a decision that you
Speaker 2: did make.
Speaker 3: Two.
Speaker 2: That's tough. But I don't know if I could forget
Speaker 2: those words if I saw that on your phone.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's uh.
Speaker 2: Man, I would confront him.
Speaker 3: You have, I definitely.
Speaker 4: I don't know how she hasn't. I don't know how
Speaker 4: she do.
Speaker 2: But come not at a good from a good place.
Speaker 2: That's my advice from a very from a very calm,
Speaker 2: calm collected. Hey, I'm so sorry. I I'll you a
Speaker 2: little distant, and I'm so sorry. I looked at your
Speaker 2: phone and I saw this message and I'm just having
Speaker 2: a really hard time processing this. I know this is
Speaker 2: your private space, and I'm sorry for I'm sorry for
Speaker 2: breaking that space and breaking that privacy. But now I
Speaker 2: don't know what to do with this, and I need,
Speaker 2: I need. Can we can we talk about this?
Speaker 4: Or does she just give him the chance to tell her?
Speaker 4: Maybe I went through your phone.
Speaker 3: So I would. I would just in my opinion, again,
Speaker 3: this is my opinion, Ashley, just because being a guy,
Speaker 3: and you'd have to really like Jana just explained dance
Speaker 3: very delicately around introducing the fact that you looked at
Speaker 3: this phone. So my just thought goes to try addressing
Speaker 3: it with him again from a standpoint of just ask him, hey,
Speaker 3: how are you feeling about all this? And just being like,
Speaker 3: you know, I'm scared.
Speaker 2: Isn't that playing games?
Speaker 3: Though?
Speaker 2: Like you would get mad at me because I've done that.
Speaker 4: I'm saying I went through your phone, and all he
Speaker 4: does is yell at her. Why are you going through
Speaker 4: my phone? I went through your phone.
Speaker 3: It's not about playing games, It's not it's not about
Speaker 3: fishing it out, because I know when you're trying to
Speaker 3: fish something out of it.
Speaker 2: How is that not fishing.
Speaker 3: Because because it's still something that you want to have
Speaker 3: a conversation about.
Speaker 2: What if it doesn't say anything, He's like, no, I'm good,
Speaker 2: I'm excited.
Speaker 3: Then then you addressed it like you said.
Speaker 2: Okay, because if not, then if all I'm.
Speaker 3: Saying, yeah, no, no, don't keep going. All I'm saying
Speaker 3: is is started off with saying expressing your fear because
Speaker 3: you're this is your first child, You're gonna be a
Speaker 3: new mother, there's going to be fear attached. Be like, hey,
Speaker 3: I'm really anxious, I'm really fearful. Like, I don't you know,
Speaker 3: how are you feeling? And if he does played off
Speaker 3: he's like, oh, I'm good, We're gonna be all right,
Speaker 3: then then be like okay. And it doesn't even have
Speaker 3: to be in that moment. It could be later that
Speaker 3: day or the next day to be like, hey and
Speaker 3: do what Jana said. So that's just my thought.
Speaker 2: And if and if he doesn't says to stop the
Speaker 2: fishing after that, because I know I've unfortunately done that
Speaker 2: in the past two where I've fished old fish. But
Speaker 2: I feel like that just I mean, I get what
Speaker 2: you're saying, but it's still she's still fishing.
Speaker 3: It's it's do you see what I mean? Though? Yeah,
Speaker 3: but it's an opportunity to talk about something that should
Speaker 3: be talked about anyway. It's not just trying to.
Speaker 4: Let me make sure sure we're on the same team.
Speaker 4: We're about to have a baby.
Speaker 2: Let's okay, So start with Mike and with mine. If
Speaker 2: it doesn't happen, all right.
Speaker 1: This one's from anonymous. I got engaged to my boyfriend
Speaker 1: of three years. We lived together, everything's been great. Well,
Speaker 1: one night he went to the baller and was having
Speaker 1: a friendly conversation with a woman. At the end of
Speaker 1: the night, they exchanged numbers. A week later, my gut
Speaker 1: was telling me to go through his phone and it's
Speaker 1: on Snapchat. They've been talking and became best friends on it.
Speaker 1: When I confronted my fiance, he said, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: we're just getting to know each other. Nothing has been
Speaker 1: said that would disrespect me or our relationship. He's also
Speaker 1: never given me a reason not to trust him, so
Speaker 1: I let it go. So I messaged the girl on Facebook.
Speaker 1: She said she originally said no to exchanging numbers, but
Speaker 1: decided she had nothing to lose, so she gave him
Speaker 1: her number. She also said he kept initiating the snaps
Speaker 1: in the conversations.
Speaker 7: I don't know what to do. I don't know who
Speaker 7: to believe any of us would be helpful.
Speaker 1: And then she also says, I love you both and
Speaker 1: literally use your podcast and television shows as therapy to
Speaker 1: help me in rough situations. So thank you for being
Speaker 1: so raw, open and honest about your guys' lives. It
Speaker 1: means a lot.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 3: Thank you Anonymous.
Speaker 2: Guys need to have like if you're married, you don't.
Speaker 3: If you're engaged, yes hashtag no new friends.
Speaker 4: It's like the thing again, it's kind of just one thing.
Speaker 3: And we've kind of touched on this before. It's one thing.
Speaker 3: If at work and over time with working with somebody,
Speaker 3: you you develop a relationship, and you know, but you
Speaker 3: talk about it with your partner, your girlfriend or your
Speaker 3: wife or whatever they meet them. It becomes like a
Speaker 3: mutual relationship just because you're working with somebody. It's just
Speaker 3: one of those Okay, A lot of people have those,
Speaker 3: and that are healthy and within boundaries. Meeting someone out
Speaker 3: at a bar, communicating via snapchat, there is nothing healthy
Speaker 3: about insaaning. I'm we're just getting to know each other.
Speaker 3: Why do you need to get to know some random
Speaker 3: shack you met at a bar? That is bold?
Speaker 8: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I agree, I think we all agree.
Speaker 2: So what should she do? I would say, like, stop
Speaker 2: communication with her?
Speaker 3: Yeah, be like, this doesn't make me feel comfortable. If
Speaker 3: he's your fiance, your fiance, you're gonna potentially marry this man.
Speaker 3: Say you don't feel comfortable with it, Validate that you've
Speaker 3: never given me a reason to trust you, not to
Speaker 3: trust you. But I don't like this. I don't feel
Speaker 3: comfortable and I'm really sorry.
Speaker 5: Mm hm.
Speaker 3: So I would like, you know, for you to cease
Speaker 3: yees conversation.
Speaker 1: It's time for boundaries to be established. Clearly they haven't
Speaker 1: been and guys are dumb.
Speaker 2: So it needs so yes, that's a good there you go,
Speaker 2: popa mark the create boundaries. Boundaries need to be created.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 2: Hey you guys, I hope every single one of you
Speaker 2: have the most amazing Christmas. In New Year, we're going
Speaker 2: to be on hiatus for two weeks. We love you
Speaker 2: guys so much. For those of you that struggle during
Speaker 2: the holiday season, know that you're not alone, Know that
Speaker 2: there's people out there that love you and that care
Speaker 2: about you. And we just truly hope that you guys
Speaker 2: have an amazing holiday season and find some peace these
Speaker 2: next few weeks. And for all those gods, give a
Speaker 2: little love a little, give a little love a little.
Speaker 3: And for all those guys out there, if you haven't
Speaker 3: gotten something sentimental for your girl, go do it. Just
Speaker 3: do it.
Speaker 2: Only care about minus Sarah. Just get for the shoes.
Speaker 3: Merry Christmas holidays at least whatever you celebrate, enjoy it
Speaker 3: and be present in those moments.
Speaker 2: And we hope to see you guys in twenty twenty
Speaker 2: God willing twenty twenty Hi guys, Bye sad in Another
Speaker 2: year
Speaker 4: And another one, Buds, another one going, and another one