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Speaker 1: Wind Down with jam and Kramer and Michael Coffin and

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Speaker 1: I'm her radio podcast.

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Speaker 2: I have so much to say because I have not

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Speaker 2: caught up with Sarah since the Wine Down tour stuff.

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Speaker 2: We were in Chicago and Michigan and and Louisville. So

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Speaker 2: the bus rolls in. About what time do we get

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Speaker 2: in that too, like.

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Speaker 3: Two in the morning. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I didn't even see you, Sarah when you left. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: because your flight ended up changing. There was drama, you guys. Okay,

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Speaker 2: so there was. We were living on the bus for

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Speaker 2: four days something like that, and there was so much

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Speaker 2: crap in the back seat or the back part of

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Speaker 2: the lounge that things were just like being thrown into bags.

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Speaker 2: So the next morning, so tired, Jolie has school, so

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Speaker 2: I just kind of like blindly put my clothes on,

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Speaker 2: grab my bag. I'm in the car driving to her preschool.

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Speaker 2: I walk in and I look in my bag. I've

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Speaker 2: got the bottle of bullet in in my purse. So,

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Speaker 2: for those who don't know bullet is, it's all my drinks.

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Speaker 2: And I mean it's an opened bottle of bullet like

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Speaker 2: half drank. And I'm like, if anyone stops for me,

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Speaker 2: right now, who opens my bag? Like mom of the year,

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Speaker 2: Like I walked into her preschool with an open bottle

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Speaker 2: of bullet Mom of the year, That is like what

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Speaker 2: it wud been so great? I would have gotten pulled over.

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Speaker 2: I didn't like officer. I swear I don't drink bullet,

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Speaker 2: Like I know what this looks like. Wait, I'm well

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Speaker 2: aware that is how did he who knows people? We

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Speaker 2: just were like putting things in.

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Speaker 4: Oh it was a night.

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Speaker 2: But I'm just like if you I was just in

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Speaker 2: my head, I'm like, how would I explain this to

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Speaker 2: a like the principal preschool.

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Speaker 3: Lady and then a I guess all of a sudden

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Speaker 3: joys school. Now it randomly does backcheck.

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Speaker 2: What if I would have fallen and like a bullet

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Speaker 2: like women everywhere, I would if someone grabbed my back,

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Speaker 2: I don't know, like you just start thinking, or what

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Speaker 2: if I opened it and be like, oh, Julie, here's

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Speaker 2: your water bottle. Then Miss Tina sees the other bottle

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Speaker 2: in there, I'm just like, wow, mortified.

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Speaker 4: Mike's just happy his bullet made at home.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, Hey guys, Hey, hey I'm not hungover anymore.

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Speaker 2: Oh that was speaking of hungover.

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Speaker 3: Though.

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Speaker 2: We had a little issue because I told Mike what

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Speaker 2: time we were leaving your wedding at Sarah on the

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Speaker 2: tour bus.

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Speaker 5: So she already booked their flights. Mark was looking at

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Speaker 5: me like, what the wedding already happened?

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, the wedding obviously is in February. But I

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Speaker 2: booked the flights and I didn't pook the first flight

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Speaker 2: out like I'm usually the first flight out, because I

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Speaker 2: want to be back home with the kids.

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Speaker 6: Mike shaking it.

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Speaker 2: So I booked a ten o'clock fly, which is like,

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Speaker 2: you know, just enough time to wake up, Yes, just

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Speaker 2: enough time, honey, what time would you like to leave

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Speaker 2: the wedding at or leave the hotel at.

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Speaker 3: Six pm that night? Last flight? I'm I'm more of

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Speaker 3: a like last flight out kind of guy. After especially

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Speaker 3: a wedding like this, I'm already telling you. I've been

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Speaker 3: giving you months ahead of time, like when we knew

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Speaker 3: what when Sarah's getting married, And I was like, I'm

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Speaker 3: going to be in rare form. You're probably gonna have

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Speaker 3: to put me to bed. I don't know what's gonna happen,

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Speaker 3: so let's not take the first flight out.

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Speaker 4: No, we were.

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Speaker 5: I'm like, Jenna is for sure, Mike's gonna be a

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Speaker 5: couple of bullets and maybe some champagne. Genna's just gonna

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Speaker 5: get on a red eye that night and leave you.

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Speaker 5: You're gonna wake up in the hotel room alone.

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Speaker 3: Fine, fine, totally fine, it's gonna.

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Speaker 2: I just let him open by the way his first

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Speaker 2: we like to. I have a really hard time keeping

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Speaker 2: presence for Mike, and so I got one of those

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Speaker 2: Have you ever seen those curate drink works? Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: they're amazing you. Actually, it's like what if you walked

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Speaker 2: around with the pod. It's like basically like a cureg pod.

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Speaker 2: It's made by Care two, but it has like a

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Speaker 2: margarita or a mohido or as. It's so cool. So

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Speaker 2: it'll just be you like with this mug with your

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Speaker 2: carry on. It's just like sep well because like you

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Speaker 2: don't know, but.

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Speaker 5: Like most people's hangover start kicking in around ten eleven, right, so.

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Speaker 3: Ely, I will still be drunks. A might not let

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Speaker 3: me throw it.

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Speaker 4: Oh, you're literally gonna be.

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Speaker 2: You were in charge then of changing the tickets if

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Speaker 2: you want, I know, can we meet in the middle

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Speaker 2: six is too late, because then we couldn't put.

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Speaker 7: The well, checkout times got to happen at some point

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Speaker 7: eleven or twelve.

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Speaker 2: Exactly, Yes, great point.

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Speaker 7: Mark, thank you, thank you.

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Speaker 2: What about like kicking me out too?

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Speaker 5: He's going to be he's gonna be like the what's

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Speaker 5: it called the the maids are going to knock on

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Speaker 5: the door and just enter them and might have you passed.

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Speaker 4: Out and naked on the bed like alone.

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Speaker 2: They're going to be like, what alone? And afraid.

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Speaker 3: Jana's gone? Are you texting me that she landed back

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Speaker 3: home and is with the kids?

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Speaker 1: What are you.

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Speaker 2: Asking for for Christmas?

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Speaker 5: Sarah?

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Speaker 2: Since this is our last Christmas?

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Speaker 4: What am I asking for for Christmas?

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Speaker 2: Mike got you two things that just got delivered today.

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Speaker 6: What?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's little, it's little.

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Speaker 3: It's just something I saw and I could.

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Speaker 4: Not what What's she's talking about? How kind of a soul?

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Speaker 4: What a gent?

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Speaker 2: And I was like you what?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 4: I mean I know she was like, did you get

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Speaker 4: my presence yet?

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Speaker 2: I don't want anything?

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Speaker 4: I know you actually probably don't want anything.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 5: I haven't I've been like a little busy normally. You know,

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Speaker 5: I have my list a month ago, But I don't.

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Speaker 5: I just something I really like as presents. I like

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Speaker 5: shoes as present. And I know that sounds like, oh,

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Speaker 5: she likes shoes, But I just feel like there's a

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Speaker 5: lot of memory because like I have, you know, I

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Speaker 5: have shoes from ten years ago that I still wear,

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Speaker 5: you know, and you do too, and we wear them

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Speaker 5: to the death, and I just think it's a nice momentum.

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Speaker 4: I lose jewelry, I lose, you know, I lose a

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Speaker 4: lot you have.

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Speaker 3: Wait, so you do you guys tie shoes and memory together?

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Speaker 3: Just like like no, I'm saying no, not tie tie

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Speaker 3: like put together shoes. You're like when you go to

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Speaker 3: put on a pair of shoes, like, oh I remember, I.

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Speaker 7: Do really well.

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Speaker 4: But no, not like you know, a nice pair I get.

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Speaker 5: I have a nice pair that I remember, you know,

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Speaker 5: like oh I got these for my birthday, Ty got

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Speaker 5: me these for Valentine's Day. Yeah, not like my Nikes,

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Speaker 5: not my kicks.

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Speaker 2: But well, it's just interesting because I wonder if that's

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Speaker 2: going to change for because now that we have kids,

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Speaker 2: people are asking and we're not even really doing presents

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Speaker 2: in our family anymore. Because it's like, I don't want.

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Speaker 2: I don't need anything. I don't want anything like I

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Speaker 2: have my kids, and I think that's and I never

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Speaker 2: understood that when when my parents would say that when

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Speaker 2: we were kids, I was like.

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Speaker 3: What do you mean?

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Speaker 2: You don't want something? And now I'm just like, I

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Speaker 2: don't want anything. I just I just want my I

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Speaker 2: want my family, and I want to have a great

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Speaker 2: dinner and some quality time and maybe watch a movie

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Speaker 2: on Christmas night. And I want them to be happy.

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Speaker 2: I want to see them.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, honestly write that down. But I feel like you weren't.

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Speaker 2: Like because I told you. I was like, I don't,

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Speaker 2: I really don't. I asked for a necklace about mommy necklace,

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Speaker 2: but Lola and James uh turning it to me. So

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Speaker 2: I was just like anything, I feel like it's.

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Speaker 4: Just sentimental things. I like sentimental things, and that.

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Speaker 2: A picture with the kids, A handwritten letter that is like.

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Speaker 4: Golden to Mike, A hand written letter.

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Speaker 2: Maybe oh yeah, which comes to another great topic.

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Speaker 6: Uh.

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Speaker 2: We need to tease the guests though, because I'm really

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Speaker 2: excited about the guest. Dean McDermott is coming in. He's

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Speaker 2: married to Tory Spelling and they have a very interesting past, public,

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Speaker 2: public past, and they were one of the couples that I,

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Speaker 2: having away always looked up to in a weird way

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Speaker 2: because of their ability to own it in such a

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Speaker 2: public way. And I just have a lot of respect

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Speaker 2: for that. So he's going to be a guest on

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Speaker 2: our show today and I'm super excited about that. I'm

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Speaker 2: excited to stay tuned for that.

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Speaker 3: But hold, let me ask you about the presents real quick.

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Speaker 3: So I feel like women will say that, right, I

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Speaker 3: really don't want anything. I want that if a guy

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Speaker 3: actually said, all right.

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Speaker 4: Oh you're dead cool.

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Speaker 2: No no, no, no time out, time out, time out,

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Speaker 2: if you didn't do anything, I actually would be kind

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Speaker 2: of bummed. But the one thing that I would want

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Speaker 2: is because I would want at least that sentimental gift.

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Speaker 2: It's the time in which you maybe drew Jolie's hand

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Speaker 2: and you guys wrote me like, that's the stuff that

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Speaker 2: the sentiment. It's the sentimental stuff that like that. It

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Speaker 2: could be you know, a simple.

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Speaker 4: Okay by a question answer okay.

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Speaker 2: So I don't need the shoes. I don't need because

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Speaker 2: it's like, yeah, I'm good, honestly, but I still would

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Speaker 2: like something special. I guess Okay, so there you go.

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Speaker 2: It's not that I don't want anything.

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Speaker 4: I want.

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Speaker 2: I would love something special that but I knew that

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Speaker 2: didn't take a lot of It is not a lot

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Speaker 2: of money, but it took some thoughts.

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Speaker 5: Okay, So no, no, I was just gonna say on

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Speaker 5: the flip side, because you know, if you say I

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Speaker 5: don't want anything, no you do and or not you

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Speaker 5: but I mean me, I want something.

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Speaker 2: But is there No, it's because you don't have kids. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I promise you it'll change you. I truly will. You'll

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Speaker 2: have everything.

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Speaker 5: Okay, but is there something special about Like let's say you.

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Speaker 4: Say Mike, I don't want anything.

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Speaker 5: I don't want anything, and he gives you a handwritten

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Speaker 5: letter from Jolie and you think that's your present, but

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Speaker 5: then all of.

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Speaker 4: A sudden he got you.

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Speaker 5: A new no like Gucci purse or something that that

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Speaker 5: you weren't expecting, you didn't want, and it was just like, wow,

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Speaker 5: I didn't even you know that.

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Speaker 2: Every once in a while, Sure that'd be so cool.

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Speaker 2: Sure I think it'd be a pleasant surprise. And I

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Speaker 2: think anyone would kind of want to feel special.

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Speaker 3: I could honestly say, like if Jane and I were like,

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Speaker 3: I don't believe you if if if we agreed and

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Speaker 3: we said, hey, we're not we're just gonna save money

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Speaker 3: because we go we tend to go a little overboard

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Speaker 3: with each other because we're both just very generous.

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Speaker 2: Last year we said a four hundred dollars budget for

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Speaker 2: each other.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we went past that. So anyways, so

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Speaker 3: really I didn't. Okay, regardless, I could honestly be like,

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Speaker 3: all right, if we agree, hey, we're not gonna spend

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Speaker 3: any money on each other at all and not do anything,

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Speaker 3: I'll be okay, cool, No, we do. But I still

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Speaker 3: feel like, come Christmas morning, if you didn't open something,

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Speaker 3: you kind of be like, oh.

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Speaker 2: So, then why do we say because I don't. I

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Speaker 2: don't think that when you said I just want to

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Speaker 2: redo your car, that you would be bummed if you

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Speaker 2: didn't open something.

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Speaker 3: I would not. That's the difference between men and women.

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Speaker 3: I all I want. I've told Jana this, but Janet

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Speaker 3: doesn't like this because he does get anything out of it.

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Speaker 3: All I wanted to do was finally do some things

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Speaker 3: to my to my truck that have been wanting to

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Speaker 3: do for a long.

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Speaker 2: Time, which, by the way, he goes I want to

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Speaker 2: lift it, but don't worry. You won't notice it. And

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Speaker 2: I was like, don't You're gonna spend money on something no.

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Speaker 3: One will even know, Just like, wait, you guys go

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Speaker 3: get your hair done. Do we always notice? No, but

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Speaker 3: you spend money on it.

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Speaker 1: Boom.

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Speaker 3: I'm just saying. So the whole thing is I mean

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Speaker 3: that when I say, honey, all I want to do

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Speaker 3: is stuff in my truck, Like, don't spend another dime

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Speaker 3: on me. No part of me would be upset Christmas

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Speaker 3: morning because I believe you and God bless my wife.

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Speaker 3: She's always trying to like give me things. But every year,

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Speaker 3: for like the last five years of a relationship, she

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Speaker 3: tries to get me to wear sweaters. She wants me

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Speaker 3: to be a sweaterwear.

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Speaker 4: So bad, to be a sweater guy so badly.

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Speaker 3: And I'm finally I'm to the point where I'm like, honey,

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Speaker 3: and the best thing was, I think it was last

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Speaker 3: year or two years ago she got me a ring.

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Speaker 3: And for the first few years of our marriage, Jara,

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Speaker 3: it's a beautiful Janna has tried to make me like

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Speaker 3: a ring accessory wear. I'm not. I wear my running band.

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Speaker 2: That's it ring from the black one that I got.

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Speaker 3: Right, but I usually will replace that with my wedding

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Speaker 3: band if I wear it. So finally, last year or

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Speaker 3: the year before, Jana went above and beyond got me

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Speaker 3: like a Cardier Men's love ring.

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Speaker 4: She wants him to be a sweater wearing Cardier love it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Yes, And so I had had this discussion, like

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Speaker 3: with my close buddy in La Garrett, and I was like, look, man,

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Speaker 3: I know this is like a fifteen hundred dollars ring

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Speaker 3: or whatever it is. I'm not gonna wear it, but

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna feel like I have to, but I don't

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Speaker 3: want to. So what I finally manned up and had

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Speaker 3: a conversation with Jana and being like, man, I love

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Speaker 3: you so much, I'm not gonna wear this.

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Speaker 2: Do you know that Garrett prepped me for that?

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Speaker 3: Did he He did? Smart?

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Speaker 6: Man?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he prepped me.

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Speaker 3: So that's the thing. We see that like we mean it.

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Speaker 3: And so finally I'm like Ganna in my head, I'm like,

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Speaker 3: I don't want another sweater. I want another cardigan or ring.

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Speaker 3: This is what I want. You asked me what I

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Speaker 3: want for Christmas? This is what I want. What Janna

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Speaker 3: wants to do what do you want?

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Speaker 4: She's like, what do you want for Christmas? And then

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Speaker 4: she's like, I don't like that.

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Speaker 3: That's not the that's not gonna work for me. This

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Speaker 3: is what I want to buy you.

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Speaker 4: But guys are the opposite.

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Speaker 5: It's like, this is what I want for Christmas and

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Speaker 5: then done for me exactly.

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Speaker 2: But it's just like nothing. You don't want to open anything.

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Speaker 3: I don't care.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Well get him a gag gift.

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Speaker 4: You know those are always fun.

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Speaker 2: Well, I mean I got a few things, but I

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Speaker 2: just I just want you to I don't believe you.

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Speaker 2: But maybe that's because I I know that maybe I

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Speaker 2: don't believe myself when I say that.

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Speaker 3: For here here's the catch. Here's the catch too, right,

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Speaker 3: I tell Jane what I want. We discussed o budget

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Speaker 3: and now we just discussed it again the other night

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Speaker 3: and she cut it down by a little bit amount.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, wait, no, we discussed this amount. She's like, oh, oh,

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Speaker 3: you're actually gonna okay. I'm like, just because you've bought

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Speaker 3: me some things even though I told you not to,

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Speaker 3: you can't take that off of my budget of what

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Speaker 3: I want for Christmas.

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Speaker 5: And you get him presents from the kids, Like maybe

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Speaker 5: that counts as the present.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I've got him. Jayce got him something and Jolie

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00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:07,120
Speaker 2: got him something, so be there. I yeah, no, I

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Speaker 2: and then yeah, I got him like a few other things.

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Speaker 2: But I did ask him the other day. I was like,

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Speaker 2: are you sure you don't want to wear a sweater?

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Speaker 2: Because I found a really nice one. Oh sure, She's

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Speaker 2: like it's rag and bone. It was. I just was like,

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Speaker 2: I love him in a sweater. I think he looks

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Speaker 2: so handsome in a sweater, Like I just it's my

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00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,400
Speaker 2: favorite look of his, just so handsome.

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Speaker 5: See that's another difference with guys. He just doesn't care.

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00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:33,560
Speaker 5: Tis like I really love you in this. I'm like, here,

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Speaker 5: I am five days in a row. But I tell

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Speaker 5: a guy you like him in a sweater and he'd

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Speaker 5: rather die than wear a sweater.

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Speaker 4: So interesting how that works.

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Speaker 2: It's so it's so funny. He's like, oh, like you

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00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:44,480
Speaker 2: and hats am I wearing a hat almost every single

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00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:44,960
Speaker 2: day though.

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00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:49,160
Speaker 3: That for years?

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Speaker 2: I know, But it's so funny. How like, but if

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00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:53,200
Speaker 2: we tell you you don't care, but a girl would

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Speaker 2: be like, we will wear that every single day, Like

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Speaker 2: Sarah just said.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, well, just get each other present because I feel

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00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:02,520
Speaker 5: like it's just the you know, it's the holidays and

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00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:04,400
Speaker 5: it's nice to sit around with your family and just

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00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:06,560
Speaker 5: open presence and the kit. You know, Julie probably likes

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00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:07,480
Speaker 5: to see you guys open.

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00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,479
Speaker 4: It's fun and you know, again.

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00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:10,880
Speaker 2: I think it's just the meaningful and I think when

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00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:13,040
Speaker 2: you do have kids too, especially with our like family

349
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,880
Speaker 2: and moms and brothers, we don't want we don't want anything.

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00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:18,600
Speaker 2: It's stuff for the kids, for the kids. Yea thing

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00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:20,120
Speaker 2: like please don't exactly.

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00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:24,000
Speaker 7: Well, you know, it's a great gift you mentioned before.

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00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:28,760
Speaker 1: The Drink Works Home bar by curric mag Grats is

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00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:31,840
Speaker 1: great too, honestly, but we have a Drink Works Home

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00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:33,320
Speaker 1: bar by here in the studio.

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00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,040
Speaker 4: I'm looking at it and I'm liking it, and we

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00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:35,880
Speaker 4: have some pods.

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Speaker 7: Sarah, you are going to be in.

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00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:41,280
Speaker 5: Our barroom, in our barroom, a little great thing because

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00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:43,560
Speaker 5: it's right there on the it's right there on the shelf.

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00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:44,720
Speaker 7: It doesn't take up a lot of space.

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00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:47,239
Speaker 4: It fits right in and it's beautiful.

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00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:51,160
Speaker 2: I mean, it's it honestly, is is so incredibly easy. Okay,

364
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:55,120
Speaker 2: So Sarah, you've got the pod right there. So Mark,

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00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:57,520
Speaker 2: why don't you guys make a little cocktail right now?

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00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:58,800
Speaker 2: For Sarah? Which one are you thing?

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00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:00,840
Speaker 7: Sarah? Well? Motion should I do?

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00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,800
Speaker 5: Should I go with a little ginger snap white Russian?

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00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,160
Speaker 5: Or a little pised punch?

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00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:06,000
Speaker 4: I mean, what time is it?

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00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:07,920
Speaker 7: Do you carewer spritzer?

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00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:10,600
Speaker 4: And I would love a pomegranate elderflower sprats?

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00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,760
Speaker 1: There it is, Consider it done. You're gonna hear it

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00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,560
Speaker 1: humming in just a moment here.

375
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,920
Speaker 2: Let you guys have you guys have a cure for coffee,

376
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,080
Speaker 2: but now you have a cure for cocktails. And you

377
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:22,480
Speaker 2: just press a button and it's like bam. It's so awesome.

378
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:24,480
Speaker 2: They're great for parties. We actually just use it the

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00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:25,560
Speaker 2: other day for our game night.

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00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:26,440
Speaker 7: What did you do?

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00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,560
Speaker 1: Who's the bartender in your family? Or did you put

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00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:29,760
Speaker 1: it on self serve mode?

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00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:31,160
Speaker 2: Oh? Self serve mode?

384
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:35,680
Speaker 7: Yeah, the bartender, Mike, he's gone strong.

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00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:37,240
Speaker 2: I usually just pour the wine.

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00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, I gotta I got a heavy hand. So this

387
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:40,880
Speaker 3: is this is more for people. I Mike, look, you

388
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:43,920
Speaker 3: have some more options here. Have at it. It's all you.

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00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,760
Speaker 1: You don't worry about a heavy hand anymore. This thing

390
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:49,200
Speaker 1: makes it perfect every time, every time, and they are delicious.

391
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:51,520
Speaker 2: There's it's so good. Honestly, it's the best gift for

392
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:56,280
Speaker 2: a dad. I mean, Sarah, yes, and he loves to

393
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,640
Speaker 2: mix up for drinks. The market one's so good.

394
00:16:58,920 --> 00:16:59,120
Speaker 6: You know.

395
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:01,240
Speaker 8: The thing that's amazing it So I don't drink, so

396
00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:03,080
Speaker 8: I don't know how to make any drinks. But now

397
00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:06,440
Speaker 8: I can have people over and like guys and be like, oh,

398
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:08,400
Speaker 8: I'll make you a margarita, which I have no idea

399
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:11,320
Speaker 8: what's even in a margarita? But now I can totally

400
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:14,280
Speaker 8: do it and be like, excuse me, can I make

401
00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:15,119
Speaker 8: you a Winter mule?

402
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,400
Speaker 2: I'll take it, no, one thousand percent. It's it's it's

403
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:19,960
Speaker 2: same for me because I'm like, I don't all I

404
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,320
Speaker 2: do is drink wine. So with the you know, the

405
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:24,720
Speaker 2: drink works, I can just be like they're like, oh wow, Jane,

406
00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:26,560
Speaker 2: I really stepped up your game. I'm like, nah, took

407
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:27,280
Speaker 2: two seconds.

408
00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:28,040
Speaker 4: Yeah.

409
00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:29,719
Speaker 8: It's so easy, and I feel like it gives us

410
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:33,919
Speaker 8: crib especially with dudes. Like a girl gets this and

411
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:36,160
Speaker 8: then she can just look like a hero to all

412
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:37,520
Speaker 8: the guides.

413
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:38,480
Speaker 4: Her dad's gotta be.

414
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:42,240
Speaker 3: Your cosmos for your girlfriends. Anything else for guys want

415
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416
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418
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419
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420
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430
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Speaker 3: And again remember it's just as easy as a Cure

431
00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:37,400
Speaker 3: because it's made by Cure. You get a water reservoir,

432
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,520
Speaker 3: you got your pods with your drinks, you plug it in,

433
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:42,400
Speaker 3: you're good to go, and it's sleek and sexy looking.

434
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Speaker 3: You can put it right on your counter and it

435
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Speaker 3: fits in with everything else.

436
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Speaker 2: It's fantastic because I'm a mom. Just please remember enjoy responsibly.

437
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,680
Speaker 2: The holiday season is here. How do you thrive during

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442
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443
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444
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445
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446
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447
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451
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452
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459
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460
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461
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:15,800
Speaker 2: number dot com slash Jana hijine, Hey Hawaiia, Hi, thank you.

462
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,480
Speaker 2: I'm so flaccd. Actually I like doing this.

463
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,840
Speaker 6: He too. I'm sorry for being so difficult to track down.

464
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:25,479
Speaker 2: My goodness. No, you're a busy man, and you've got

465
00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:27,040
Speaker 2: a busy life, and you've got a bunch of kids.

466
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,359
Speaker 2: So we totally totally get.

467
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,320
Speaker 6: It all on the kids.

468
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,400
Speaker 4: Oh, I can't wait to do that when you have six?

469
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:37,760
Speaker 2: What are the ages? Everyone just took a real big like.

470
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:40,639
Speaker 4: That's amazing.

471
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:48,160
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's it's it's amazing. No, I'm kidding, it is amazing.

472
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,720
Speaker 2: Did she want more kids or was it something you

473
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,040
Speaker 2: guys mutually agreed on or is it just kind of like, oh, hey,

474
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:53,840
Speaker 2: we're pregnant again.

475
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:55,400
Speaker 6: We didn't. We didn't plan any of it.

476
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:56,320
Speaker 3: We didn't.

477
00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:58,399
Speaker 6: We didn't. Yeah, the first one we had, we had Liam,

478
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:01,000
Speaker 6: and then fifteen months later we had Stella, and then

479
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:03,800
Speaker 6: there was like a four year break, and then we

480
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:07,840
Speaker 6: had Hattie, and then ten months later we had Finn.

481
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:09,080
Speaker 6: So we have Irish twins.

482
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:09,800
Speaker 4: Wow.

483
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,040
Speaker 6: Oh wow, and another four year break and then we

484
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:15,440
Speaker 6: had bo Wow. Yeah. And I thought I thought after

485
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:17,760
Speaker 6: Finn we were we were done. I just turned fifty.

486
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:21,439
Speaker 6: You know, Tory was in her forties, early forties, so

487
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,960
Speaker 6: we just thought everything was kind of taking its natural

488
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,320
Speaker 6: course and not working anymore.

489
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,280
Speaker 4: Nope, surprise, surprise.

490
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,560
Speaker 6: Yeah. So being having a having a two and a

491
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:33,560
Speaker 6: half year old at fifty three, that's a party.

492
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:34,760
Speaker 4: So how old's oldest?

493
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:37,960
Speaker 6: My oldest is twenty one for my first marriage, got it,

494
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:40,480
Speaker 6: Jack is twenty one, and then my oldest with Tori

495
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 6: is twelve, so it goes twelve, eleven, eight, seven and

496
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:44,640
Speaker 6: two and a half.

497
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:45,520
Speaker 3: Wow.

498
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:47,000
Speaker 6: Yeah, in it, just.

499
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:48,320
Speaker 3: In the fin in it.

500
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, we are looking at a hero.

501
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:54,919
Speaker 6: Modern that. I'll take that. I've never heard that.

502
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:56,480
Speaker 7: Wow, I've never heard that.

503
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:58,600
Speaker 2: So we're just going to jump right into it. So

504
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:03,639
Speaker 2: we we got you on the show because I can't remember.

505
00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:07,680
Speaker 2: I was just going through my Twitter like a month

506
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,679
Speaker 2: or so ago, and it had a headline from US

507
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,399
Speaker 2: Weekly and it was like, Dean McDermott offers advice to

508
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,400
Speaker 2: you know, Janna and her husband. And I was like, oh,

509
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,400
Speaker 2: I was like, this is interesting. I'm gonna click on this.

510
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:21,040
Speaker 2: And I immediately texted our producer Amy and I was

511
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:22,680
Speaker 2: just like, we have to get him on the show.

512
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:25,320
Speaker 2: I know he has zero clue who we are, but

513
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:28,720
Speaker 2: obviously and I knew that too when you had the interview,

514
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:30,120
Speaker 2: I was like, Oh, poor guys. I don't know these

515
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:31,479
Speaker 2: freaking people are they?

516
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,720
Speaker 6: When they asked me, I honestly I didn't. I didn't know,

517
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,359
Speaker 6: so I apologize don't know.

518
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 2: Zeroze no, no, zero zero, But I feel.

519
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 4: Like that's nothing.

520
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:42,679
Speaker 6: I hope it was sound advice.

521
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:45,400
Speaker 2: No, it was good. And I think what you said

522
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:47,960
Speaker 2: basically is, you know, because our stuff has been so

523
00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:51,600
Speaker 2: public as well, and you know with you guys, is

524
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:54,800
Speaker 2: you guys were kind of the the beginning of that.

525
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:59,320
Speaker 2: I mean, when you guys shared all of your marriage struggles,

526
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:02,200
Speaker 2: I feel like the people weren't ready for it yet.

527
00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:03,719
Speaker 2: And I think that's what you had said in your

528
00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:07,480
Speaker 2: interview too, Whereas it was just kind of WHOA, You're

529
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:08,640
Speaker 2: sharing all this information?

530
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:12,840
Speaker 6: Yeah, sharing it through through true Tory sharing it and

531
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:16,879
Speaker 6: you know, sort of solving our problems in the town square. Yeah,

532
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 6: that was. That was It's really interesting looking back at

533
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:26,080
Speaker 6: it because in the middle of it, the great thing

534
00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:28,920
Speaker 6: about it was it really sort of expedited us getting

535
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:31,280
Speaker 6: into therapy and getting help and starting to talk about

536
00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:34,760
Speaker 6: this because you know, I've seen people go through this

537
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:36,919
Speaker 6: before and they don't talk to each other and they

538
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:40,480
Speaker 6: automatically just end things and it takes a really hard

539
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 6: it's really really hard to get them back together to

540
00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:45,439
Speaker 6: even start to talk to each other. So doing the

541
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,720
Speaker 6: show really really got us together and got us talking

542
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:53,000
Speaker 6: right away, which was great. But you know, looking at

543
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:57,440
Speaker 6: it now, sort of solving your problems in the town square,

544
00:23:58,840 --> 00:23:59,679
Speaker 6: there's a price.

545
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 4: To it, you know, of course, well everyone can chime in.

546
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 6: Everyone and and and you know, we were doing it

547
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:09,400
Speaker 6: with the you know, with with the thought of you know,

548
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:14,480
Speaker 6: getting through it ourselves but also helping others. And and

549
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:16,919
Speaker 6: but with that, we weren't thinking comes all the backlash

550
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:20,199
Speaker 6: and the haters and all the naysayers. We just you know,

551
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,960
Speaker 6: we were really positive about it, considering you know, how

552
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:27,280
Speaker 6: negative what what I did was, you know, so it's

553
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 6: it was a really it was a slippery slope, and

554
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:32,760
Speaker 6: once in a while we'll get stopped by people who say,

555
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:34,960
Speaker 6: thank you very much for doing that, and and that

556
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 6: really helps. That makes it kind of worth, yea worth

557
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:40,280
Speaker 6: going through all that stuff. But you're really, you're really

558
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,840
Speaker 6: I felt like I was in one of those stockades

559
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:45,320
Speaker 6: in the middle of town.

560
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,160
Speaker 4: I cannot I say to them all the time.

561
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 6: People could throw tomatoes at me and tell me what

562
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:53,640
Speaker 6: they thought of me, and you know, it really messed

563
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,920
Speaker 6: with me. But you know, we we did it, and

564
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,360
Speaker 6: and the great thing is is we worked it out

565
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:02,400
Speaker 6: or together and things are stronger and better than ever.

566
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:06,920
Speaker 3: I mean that sounds so identical and parallel and familiar

567
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 3: for us, all of that. And what was because I

568
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:12,800
Speaker 3: feel like Dean, for you and I who they're the

569
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 3: ones who are the perpetrators and kind of did you

570
00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:19,080
Speaker 3: know the deed that kind of caused everything? What was

571
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 3: the moment that you and Tory decided Okay, let's address

572
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,399
Speaker 3: this publicly and not keep it in house, because I

573
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 3: feel like that's the natural thing, right, especially for me.

574
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:29,480
Speaker 3: I felt so much shame at the beginning. I just

575
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:30,760
Speaker 3: wanted to be like, no, I don't want to talk

576
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,040
Speaker 3: to anybody about it. Let's just keep it between us

577
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:35,600
Speaker 3: and deal with it. So what kind of encouraged you

578
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:37,560
Speaker 3: to come around and be like you know what, Tory,

579
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 3: let's you know, dressed this head on, like you said

580
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:40,600
Speaker 3: in the town Square.

581
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:47,000
Speaker 6: Right, Well, you know, we didn't have a choice in it,

582
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:50,639
Speaker 6: you know, coming out you know, US US magazine broke

583
00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 6: this story. You know, a friend of mine, I was

584
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:58,520
Speaker 6: set up, like my friends sold the story. La la la,

585
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:01,240
Speaker 6: a friend, a friend of twenty two years.

586
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 2: That's just my cars was my he was our wedding.

587
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:10,359
Speaker 2: So yeah, we hear you on that. And it sucks, right.

588
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 6: Wow, Yeah, you know you and I we shouldn't have

589
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:16,680
Speaker 6: been doing what we were doing, but it didn't need

590
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:20,359
Speaker 6: to play out that way, you know, and our story

591
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:21,320
Speaker 6: broke Christmas Eve.

592
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:25,080
Speaker 7: Oh, I just got so again.

593
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:28,040
Speaker 6: You know it's all my fault, but you know, but

594
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:31,160
Speaker 6: it's done. So you know, we it was out there

595
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,960
Speaker 6: and everybody had their opinion on it, and everybody had

596
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 6: something to say about it, and you know, we got

597
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:40,520
Speaker 6: to a point where you know, it was just it

598
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:45,000
Speaker 6: was out of control. You know, the headlines, you know

599
00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:48,199
Speaker 6: how they make them up, right, so you know this,

600
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,520
Speaker 6: I'd been doing this for years and I was you know,

601
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:55,000
Speaker 6: I wanted out of the marriage because I wasn't getting

602
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:57,119
Speaker 6: any money from the family. Blah blah blah. All this

603
00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:00,240
Speaker 6: BS right. So we sat down and said, look, you

604
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:04,680
Speaker 6: know what, everybody's got their opinion, so let's take this

605
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 6: opportunity to tell the truth. And so that's why we

606
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 6: came up with the idea and we were approached to

607
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:17,040
Speaker 6: do true Tory. But even before that, you know, we

608
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:20,560
Speaker 6: issued statements. But yeah, we just sat down and said,

609
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:23,080
Speaker 6: enough of this. This is a circus, this is a sideshow.

610
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:27,720
Speaker 6: There's so many things that are wrong that people are saying,

611
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:33,199
Speaker 6: let's go public and let's tell our truth. And that's

612
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:36,000
Speaker 6: what we did. And then then the show kicked in

613
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:38,760
Speaker 6: and we got, you know, the opportunity to go even

614
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 6: farther with it.

615
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 2: I feel like, too, it's such a for your kids

616
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:45,880
Speaker 2: as well. So that way they can see because they're

617
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:47,600
Speaker 2: going to read about it, they would been able to

618
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:51,119
Speaker 2: google it, and this way it's there, you're able to

619
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:52,679
Speaker 2: say like, hey, this is what we've done, and this

620
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:54,159
Speaker 2: is how we've been able to make it work. And

621
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 2: I feel like in a way, I know you kind

622
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:57,960
Speaker 2: of dread that moment that the kids find out, but

623
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,359
Speaker 2: at the same time, hopefully it's years down there, and

624
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 2: you're like, look but look at of how strong we

625
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 2: are now, and look what we've done, and look who

626
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:05,480
Speaker 2: we've helped along the way.

627
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 3: I don't know, yeah, and I feel like i'd just

628
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,320
Speaker 3: be like living another lie where you have to like

629
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:13,000
Speaker 3: manage everyone around you, trying to make sure they don't

630
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 3: find out information and all that stuff. So it's like,

631
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:17,680
Speaker 3: if it's out there, it is what it is.

632
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 6: Yeah, And I think, you know, once they start asking,

633
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,880
Speaker 6: I think you have to kind of sort of nip

634
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:25,359
Speaker 6: it in the bud for lack of a better word,

635
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:29,280
Speaker 6: and tell them exactly what happened, because you know they're

636
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:32,680
Speaker 6: going to read twenty different variations.

637
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:34,120
Speaker 5: Of well and then they go to school and other

638
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:37,200
Speaker 5: kids talk, and it's just I can't.

639
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,480
Speaker 2: It for you that was was not missing. I don't

640
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:42,000
Speaker 2: want to say I don't want to be insensitive to

641
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:45,800
Speaker 2: like that, but you know, I know, like, okay, same

642
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 2: with Michael, like he's been unfaithful in every relationship he's

643
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 2: ever had. I know you had you chew on your

644
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,600
Speaker 2: first wife, and then with this is did you see

645
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 2: an addictive pattern or was it just something where something

646
00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:59,240
Speaker 2: in yourself that you felt was missing.

647
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:06,600
Speaker 6: I didn't see it as an addictive pattern. My first

648
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 6: marriage lasted for twelve years, and you know it, it

649
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 6: started to break down a long time ago, but you know,

650
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:19,560
Speaker 6: I stayed with it because that's what I thought, you know,

651
00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:22,080
Speaker 6: that was that was it, that's the that's the best

652
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 6: it gets.

653
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:23,000
Speaker 3: You know.

654
00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:26,720
Speaker 6: We had our son, Jack, who's amazing, and I just thought, okay, well,

655
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:28,480
Speaker 6: you know, you have a kid, and and this is

656
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,480
Speaker 6: what marriage is at a certain point, you know, like.

657
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:32,480
Speaker 3: You know, I.

658
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:36,479
Speaker 6: I I hesitated to say it was loveless because I

659
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,960
Speaker 6: really cared for and I still do. She's a she's

660
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,840
Speaker 6: a great woman. But it just, you know, that that spark,

661
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:43,680
Speaker 6: that fire just wasn't there. And I thought, you know,

662
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:46,200
Speaker 6: this is this is as good as it happened, this

663
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 6: is this is life. And then I met Torri when

664
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:53,920
Speaker 6: we were working together in Ottawa, and I'd never felt

665
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:57,120
Speaker 6: anything like that in my life. I'd never felt that connection.

666
00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 6: From the moment we met, it was just you know, fireworks,

667
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:08,840
Speaker 6: and I I just couldn't I couldn't resist. I couldn't resist,

668
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:11,280
Speaker 6: but I also couldn't lie to myself anymore, Like I

669
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:15,640
Speaker 6: kept distracting my things with distracting myself with different things,

670
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 6: you know, sports and golf and all these kind of things,

671
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:22,440
Speaker 6: distracting myself from my first relationship to not face my unhappiness.

672
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:25,800
Speaker 6: So once I met Torri, you know, we worked together

673
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:30,160
Speaker 6: for three and a half weeks, and at the end

674
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:31,479
Speaker 6: of the three and a half weeks, I'm like, I

675
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:34,959
Speaker 6: can't walk away from this. I can't like this is

676
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 6: you know, you have a decision to make. You know,

677
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 6: you really really do you really have to grow a

678
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:45,680
Speaker 6: pair and you know, do the right thing and get

679
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 6: out of your first marriage, because it's it's not fair

680
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:51,960
Speaker 6: to her, it's not fair to Jack, and it's not

681
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,680
Speaker 6: fair to me. I wasn't being honest with myself. I

682
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:58,920
Speaker 6: met someone that I instantly fell in love with and

683
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:02,840
Speaker 6: felt something I've never felt before my life. So that's

684
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:04,960
Speaker 6: it was like I have to I have to man

685
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 6: up and I have to do the right thing. And then,

686
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 6: you know, so we dissolved the marriage. But it was

687
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 6: it was more out of a connection and love for

688
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,240
Speaker 6: each other that we got together. It wasn't a cheating,

689
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 6: addictive pattern.

690
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:22,960
Speaker 2: What about when you were married with Tori. Though when

691
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 2: that episode was that just like an episode.

692
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:37,080
Speaker 6: That episode was about a combination of things. I suffer

693
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:42,680
Speaker 6: from depression. I have clinical depression, and I can as

694
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 6: great as things can look on the outside, and how

695
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 6: happy and great my life looks on the outside. I

696
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:53,040
Speaker 6: calmed a little. The angry little dwarf in my head

697
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:57,080
Speaker 6: really beats the crap out of me. And I even

698
00:31:57,080 --> 00:31:59,640
Speaker 6: though you know, I was on I was hosting Chop Canada,

699
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 6: I had a cookbook coming out, like I was on

700
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:07,480
Speaker 6: fire in the Food Network. I was incredibly unhappy and

701
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:12,880
Speaker 6: hated myself and I started drinking and started using drugs

702
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:20,240
Speaker 6: again and I needed to fill a hole and it

703
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,640
Speaker 6: and it's really bizarre how it happened, like that's the

704
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:26,280
Speaker 6: last thing I was looking for. I was. I was

705
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:30,440
Speaker 6: just happy to just drink and party. I wasn't looking

706
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:33,000
Speaker 6: for any kind of a hookup or anything like that

707
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,320
Speaker 6: at all. It was it was the farthest thing from

708
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:39,040
Speaker 6: my mind, and it just it just happened so easily

709
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:40,800
Speaker 6: and just kind of out of the blue and laisse

710
00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:45,200
Speaker 6: fair and I went with it obviously without thinking, and

711
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:50,760
Speaker 6: you know, was looking to fill this void and it

712
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:54,040
Speaker 6: didn't fill the void. It created a chasm. You know,

713
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:56,720
Speaker 6: I created the Grand Canyon with with doing what I did.

714
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:01,960
Speaker 6: But you know, at the end of the day, going

715
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 6: through everything we've gone through, I'm amazed at the resolve

716
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:12,920
Speaker 6: of my wife Tori. I thought for sure it was done.

717
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:15,720
Speaker 6: I thought it was done. I just thought, why on

718
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 6: earth would you want to be with me? And it's

719
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 6: you know, it's it's funny, it's it's something that I've

720
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:25,880
Speaker 6: maintained before this happened. As well as I was. I

721
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:30,400
Speaker 6: was surprised that, you know, Tory Spelling was interested in me.

722
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:32,240
Speaker 6: I'm like, why we're married, we have kids?

723
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:32,680
Speaker 2: Like you?

724
00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:35,560
Speaker 6: I don't get it. Why me? Yeah, I still I

725
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:40,400
Speaker 6: I didn't have that. I devalued myself. I didn't think

726
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 6: that highly of myself. I thought, I mean, I'm the

727
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:46,920
Speaker 6: luckiest guy in the world, but not it's not worth

728
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 6: not worth worthy of this. And so when the affair happened,

729
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 6: I thought, it's it's done, it's over. It's she's gonna

730
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 6: walk away, and rightfully so. And and I you know,

731
00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:58,920
Speaker 6: I maintained that through you. If you see, if you

732
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 6: watch the show, I'll be like, why why are you

733
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:03,120
Speaker 6: still doing this? Why are you with me? I you know,

734
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:05,640
Speaker 6: I did something absolutely horrible to you, and she's she made.

735
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:07,360
Speaker 2: Almost like you feel like you didn't deserve it too.

736
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:09,080
Speaker 2: You know, It's like it's like you didn't feel like

737
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:15,600
Speaker 2: you deserved it, so you just sabotage, sabotaged it. Yeah,

738
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:16,359
Speaker 2: sabotaged it.

739
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:21,799
Speaker 6: I'm sabotage. I'm really great at it. I've I've done it.

740
00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:24,319
Speaker 6: I mean, look at this armful of tattoos that I

741
00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:30,080
Speaker 6: absolutely love. But as an actor, good idea? Anybody anybody

742
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:30,640
Speaker 6: gonna take on this?

743
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:34,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, the greatest, but it's I mean, it looks really nice.

744
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:38,200
Speaker 2: Where a lot of people that I talked to, one

745
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:39,880
Speaker 2: of their biggest things is like how, And I know

746
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:41,880
Speaker 2: this is something we've struggled with too, is how for

747
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:47,360
Speaker 2: when when when me and Tory or we get upset

748
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:51,000
Speaker 2: and triggered. What has helped you have empathy and stay

749
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 2: grounded and not go defensive? Because I feel like that's

750
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:55,920
Speaker 2: been sort of an issue with us and a lot

751
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,120
Speaker 2: of other women ask Michael that too, like what do

752
00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:00,160
Speaker 2: you what do you do? What are your tips and

753
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:03,000
Speaker 2: and tricks for when that moment arises and you need

754
00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:06,560
Speaker 2: to be empathetic for maybe her feelings, but you're you know,

755
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:09,400
Speaker 2: you feel shame, and you feel guilt and anger and

756
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:10,720
Speaker 2: what you might feel.

757
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:15,959
Speaker 6: Well, right out of the gate, you said something great

758
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:19,640
Speaker 6: that you have to be empathetic to her, and absolutely,

759
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 6: you know that's that's a must. You know, when when

760
00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:27,320
Speaker 6: when she gets triggered. And I've been very, very fortunate

761
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:31,360
Speaker 6: that Tori is so even keeled and so smart that

762
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:33,480
Speaker 6: she's able to sort of think her way through these

763
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:37,160
Speaker 6: things and look at the big picture. Very seldom has

764
00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:42,080
Speaker 6: she been triggered. But when she does get triggered, you know,

765
00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:45,640
Speaker 6: obviously your first your first instinct is to go in

766
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:48,440
Speaker 6: the defensive. It's it's human nature. And I think you

767
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:50,640
Speaker 6: have to as the man, as the perpetrator, you have

768
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:52,319
Speaker 6: to sit back and go, okay, wait a second. You

769
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:55,279
Speaker 6: gotta this is part of the process. You know, it's

770
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:58,120
Speaker 6: it's going to go on for the rest of my life,

771
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:03,160
Speaker 6: our life together, So you know, you better get good

772
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:07,879
Speaker 6: at looking pausing, looking at the big picture, just going okay,

773
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:11,640
Speaker 6: you know what, I gotta take my lumps, and you know,

774
00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 6: I can't be so defensive. I've really got to have

775
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:18,040
Speaker 6: an open mind here and really put myself in her shoes,

776
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:21,440
Speaker 6: because once, once you get on the defensive, you just

777
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:25,160
Speaker 6: kind of shut down and you can't see, you know,

778
00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:28,880
Speaker 6: the other person's point of view or their feelings. So

779
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 6: you just gotta shut the f up. Listen, be empathetic, sympathetic,

780
00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:42,840
Speaker 6: and just just love her, and you know what, just

781
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:46,640
Speaker 6: be thankful that she's still in your life, because it's

782
00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:49,719
Speaker 6: so easily could have gone the other way. You know,

783
00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:52,440
Speaker 6: you could be you could be sitting in an apartment

784
00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:53,840
Speaker 6: rented apartment by yourself.

785
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 3: That's you know, that's funny you say that and everything,

786
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:02,200
Speaker 3: Like I just feel like I'm watching myself talk about

787
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:04,800
Speaker 3: these kind of things being just in the similarities of

788
00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:07,720
Speaker 3: everything and that even just that last thing you said,

789
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:16,719
Speaker 3: I almost have that uh sabotage mindset of I'll be

790
00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:18,560
Speaker 3: driving around Just the other day I was doing I

791
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:20,480
Speaker 3: was driving around, and the part town I was in,

792
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 3: I saw some like you know, single bedroom apartments or

793
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:27,200
Speaker 3: little houses, and I had this like anxiety of like,

794
00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:31,120
Speaker 3: that's where i'd probably be right now if you know,

795
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:33,560
Speaker 3: things didn't work out the way they did, if Jana

796
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:36,600
Speaker 3: wasn't strong enough to take me back, like how and

797
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:39,440
Speaker 3: just like you said, how do I get this amazing,

798
00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 3: beautiful woman, and it is just that self sabotage and

799
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:45,239
Speaker 3: not good enough and everything like that. But it's again

800
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:47,839
Speaker 3: that last thing you said, I literally I think about

801
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:51,040
Speaker 3: that more than I definitely should. And that is healthy too,

802
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:53,279
Speaker 3: where it's like that's where i'd probably be living right now,

803
00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:55,799
Speaker 3: That's where i'd probably be living, even though I know

804
00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:57,839
Speaker 3: I'd find a way to be successful, But still that

805
00:37:57,880 --> 00:38:02,640
Speaker 3: part of me is I, I really did everything I

806
00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:06,840
Speaker 3: could to ruin this relationship, in this family. Why do

807
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:08,520
Speaker 3: I deserve to still be here? Why am I not

808
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:13,600
Speaker 3: there in that one bedom apartment. It's just it's tough,

809
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:15,040
Speaker 3: and I think that's one of those things, just like

810
00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:18,080
Speaker 3: you talked about with the triggers with them, is that

811
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:21,200
Speaker 3: shame there's gonna be part of it, at least for

812
00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 3: me right now, because I mean we're only three and

813
00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:27,480
Speaker 3: a half years post discovery of everything, but I feel

814
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:29,160
Speaker 3: like a part of that shame is still gonna be

815
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:31,600
Speaker 3: there for a long time where it's like a part

816
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:34,799
Speaker 3: of me is still maybe try to convince myself I'm

817
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,680
Speaker 3: undeserving or whatever it may be. And it's just that

818
00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 3: fleeting moment for a second on a day. It doesn't

819
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:43,640
Speaker 3: overtake me. It doesn't all day. It's just that fleeting

820
00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 3: second that you still feel that kind of humbles you

821
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:48,680
Speaker 3: and grounds you enough to scare the out of you

822
00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:50,480
Speaker 3: of where things could be.

823
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:54,880
Speaker 6: Yeah, hang on to that, Yeah, hang on to that

824
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:57,839
Speaker 6: because it's it's a good reminder. I think that, you know,

825
00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:00,480
Speaker 6: this is where things could have gone. And it's interesting

826
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:03,520
Speaker 6: you said you have these these moments of of of

827
00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:06,640
Speaker 6: the feeling, the shame and stuff and all have that

828
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:14,600
Speaker 6: moment when somebody just looks at me funny, and it's

829
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:17,319
Speaker 6: usually usually a female. If they kind of look at

830
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:21,880
Speaker 6: me funny, I'm like, oh, she knows and she hates me.

831
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:25,040
Speaker 3: She's yeah, yeah, you know.

832
00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:29,320
Speaker 6: And I've seen it where you know, Mr Tory and

833
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:31,240
Speaker 6: I are out and they're like, oh, sorry, you're amazing,

834
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:33,319
Speaker 6: we love you, and dah da dada, and then look

835
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:35,760
Speaker 6: at me and completely ignore me. And I was like, oh,

836
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:38,200
Speaker 6: they know and they hate me because I did what

837
00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:41,640
Speaker 6: I did, you know. And then so it's really but

838
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 6: at the same time though, it's it's great to have

839
00:39:43,719 --> 00:39:46,440
Speaker 6: those moments because it is it's like, yeah, you know what,

840
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:50,000
Speaker 6: you you really messed up, You really messed up and

841
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:52,040
Speaker 6: like I said, this is this is gonna happen. I'm

842
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:53,799
Speaker 6: gonna have these feelings and we're gonna have to work

843
00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:55,400
Speaker 6: this out for the rest of our life together.

844
00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 2: And when you say rest of your life, and I

845
00:39:57,200 --> 00:40:00,400
Speaker 2: know people have asked us too, it's like when like,

846
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,719
Speaker 2: stop bringing it up, stop talking about it, and it's like,

847
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:05,239
Speaker 2: I don't, I'm not, I don't want to bring it.

848
00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:07,800
Speaker 2: It's just unfortunately, it's just something that's gonna live there forever.

849
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:10,080
Speaker 2: And now the magnitude of it isn't as big as

850
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:12,120
Speaker 2: it was back in the day, but like through all

851
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:14,279
Speaker 2: of our therapy that you know, I do personally and

852
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:17,160
Speaker 2: he does, and we do together, but it is gonna Unfortunately,

853
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:19,279
Speaker 2: I think Jason said that too when he was a

854
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:20,680
Speaker 2: guest Inner Shadows.

855
00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:23,160
Speaker 3: Is that the book worthy of a true.

856
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:24,920
Speaker 2: Worthy of a trust where it's like it is going

857
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:27,000
Speaker 2: to be there forever. And that's something that I think

858
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:31,600
Speaker 2: you've had a harder time too. And it's like because

859
00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:33,840
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't, I wouldn't. I don't want it

860
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 2: to be there, and we try not to talk about Unfortunately,

861
00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:39,719
Speaker 2: now our podcast is now about that, but you know,

862
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:43,880
Speaker 2: not about that but like about relationships and struggles and stuff.

863
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:47,880
Speaker 2: But it's it's interesting and I almost feel not guilty, guilty,

864
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:50,160
Speaker 2: but I I don't want you to always have to

865
00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 2: feel shame when we do talk about it, no.

866
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:54,919
Speaker 3: And like Dean saying, it's it's it's actually not even

867
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:58,399
Speaker 3: reflective of maybe how when you guys are triggered. It's

868
00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:01,840
Speaker 3: more so kind of these other moments where Dean, I

869
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:04,759
Speaker 3: appreciate what you just said, because we just we do

870
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:06,879
Speaker 3: like we take this podcast on the road. We don't

871
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 3: record podcasts, but we do like an evening with kind

872
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:11,200
Speaker 3: of show and it's me Janna and Sayah, they're sitting

873
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:14,200
Speaker 3: next to you, and we do live shows and Jana

874
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,719
Speaker 3: and I do like a meet and greet before the show.

875
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:20,319
Speaker 3: And sometimes I have that feeling too, where I can

876
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:22,799
Speaker 3: tell I can just feel someone's energy. I'm like, maybe

877
00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:24,480
Speaker 3: they don't want to stand next to me, not just

878
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:26,879
Speaker 3: because they're huge fans of Jenna, but maybe it's because

879
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:31,640
Speaker 3: I'm a sex addict. Maybe they have this weird misconceived

880
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:34,200
Speaker 3: notion and judgment of a sex act and they think

881
00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:37,040
Speaker 3: there's some creep predator or whatever. I just go into

882
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:38,560
Speaker 3: that shame and that's where I start going. I go

883
00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 3: down that rabbit hole. I'm like, maybe that's why that

884
00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:44,000
Speaker 3: person didn't want to stand next to me. Maybe they are. Yeah,

885
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:47,080
Speaker 3: it just it's that shame that just still eats your

886
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:49,640
Speaker 3: soul a little bit. But I don't think it's to

887
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:52,120
Speaker 3: the point where it's unhealthy anymore. It's to the point,

888
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:54,399
Speaker 3: like you're saying, Dean, where it's like you hold onto

889
00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:56,600
Speaker 3: a little bit of that to scary straight and that's okay.

890
00:41:57,600 --> 00:41:59,879
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, And that's and that's our cross to bear,

891
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:02,680
Speaker 6: you know, because we did what we did, and it's

892
00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:05,600
Speaker 6: just like, you know, tough, tough crap boys. You you

893
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:09,319
Speaker 6: know you did this. You gotta you know, you got

894
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:10,319
Speaker 6: to carry this cross well.

895
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:12,399
Speaker 5: And I definitely get what you guys are saying about

896
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:13,719
Speaker 5: the guys, But then I feel like it's kind of

897
00:42:13,719 --> 00:42:15,719
Speaker 5: the same probably for Tory and Janne. Like you know,

898
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:17,360
Speaker 5: people may look at you guys and be like, oh,

899
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:19,000
Speaker 5: look what he did, But then they might look at

900
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:20,360
Speaker 5: Jane and Tory and be like, oh my god, I

901
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:22,240
Speaker 5: can't believe she stayed with him, or I can't believe

902
00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:25,160
Speaker 5: she's with you know. It's it's also both sides and

903
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,640
Speaker 5: it's probably not that it's not hard, but it's probably

904
00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:30,440
Speaker 5: harder for you know, Janet to be there, especially in

905
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:32,720
Speaker 5: Tory in the beginning, you know, at the grocery store whatever,

906
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:33,279
Speaker 5: walking with.

907
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:35,279
Speaker 4: You, and then people be like, what, like she's still

908
00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:36,000
Speaker 4: with I don't know.

909
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:38,440
Speaker 6: I feel like in the beginning that was there a

910
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:39,879
Speaker 6: lot And I don't know if that was the same

911
00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:43,719
Speaker 6: for you. But you know, Tory would get you know,

912
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:47,280
Speaker 6: comments and and and then especially social media.

913
00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:48,960
Speaker 4: Oh of course, like what are you doing? You're so dumb?

914
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,720
Speaker 6: And you know the internet magazines they have the comment section,

915
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:55,879
Speaker 6: and stay away from them, just stay away from any

916
00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:59,040
Speaker 6: comment section. But yeah, I know Tory would would get

917
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:00,640
Speaker 6: a lot of flak for that, said, why would you

918
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:02,239
Speaker 6: stay with it? He's a pig? Da da da da,

919
00:43:02,719 --> 00:43:06,680
Speaker 6: And you know that's that's something that you know, she

920
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 6: had to work through and and her, like I said,

921
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:11,360
Speaker 6: her resolve was she was just she's so strong, she's

922
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:15,600
Speaker 6: she just maintains like, Look, I'm really upset and hurt

923
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:18,799
Speaker 6: by what he did, but I love him. He's the

924
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:21,359
Speaker 6: love of my life. I can't turn that off, right,

925
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:23,279
Speaker 6: and we have a family together, you know, I can't

926
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:26,799
Speaker 6: walk away from that. So it's it's it's tough in

927
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:29,279
Speaker 6: the beginning, and now it's it's it's turned. It's it's

928
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:31,279
Speaker 6: totally turned. And now a lot of people are like,

929
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:33,239
Speaker 6: you know, so glad you guys stayed together. You're a

930
00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:39,480
Speaker 6: great example. But you know, for it's funny, guys, we

931
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:41,920
Speaker 6: want to we want everything, We want to fix everything

932
00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:44,680
Speaker 6: right and then be done. It's like, okay, put you know,

933
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:46,400
Speaker 6: bundle this up in this need of the package.

934
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:46,839
Speaker 3: It's done.

935
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:49,600
Speaker 6: Okay, we don't have to talk about it anymore. But again,

936
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:51,680
Speaker 6: you know, we that that's not going to happen in

937
00:43:51,719 --> 00:43:55,720
Speaker 6: that situation. And when I say, you know, you guys,

938
00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:58,920
Speaker 6: you'll have to carry this for the the rest of

939
00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:01,839
Speaker 6: your life, the same way that you'll carry your wedding

940
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:03,600
Speaker 6: vows that you had for each other for the rest

941
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 6: of your life and those great moments, and it's like,

942
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:10,200
Speaker 6: here's a bad moment that affected our relationship as good

943
00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:12,000
Speaker 6: as our vows were in our wedding day, was that

944
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:13,920
Speaker 6: we'll remember for the rest of our lives. We're going

945
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:15,879
Speaker 6: to remember this for the rest of our lives too,

946
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:20,280
Speaker 6: this black mark, and it's just something that gets easier

947
00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:23,120
Speaker 6: with time. But it'll never ever go away. I think,

948
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:24,640
Speaker 6: in my opinion, no.

949
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:25,400
Speaker 3: I ever go away.

950
00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:29,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wish there was a magic wand but at

951
00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:30,960
Speaker 2: the same time, I feel like it's made us stronger.

952
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:34,720
Speaker 2: But I for someone you say, I guess I'm scared

953
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:41,479
Speaker 2: moving on, Like marriage is only going to get harder

954
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:44,400
Speaker 2: with the kids were we could potentially a lot of

955
00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:47,920
Speaker 2: people I don't see. I don't see a lot of

956
00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:50,279
Speaker 2: people really growing together. I see what people growing apart.

957
00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:53,320
Speaker 2: And I think that's always been kind of my fear is, oh, shoot,

958
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:57,640
Speaker 2: I think I'm like pre menstrual. But no, cry no,

959
00:44:57,680 --> 00:45:00,120
Speaker 2: but I I just like my fear is, you know,

960
00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:02,919
Speaker 2: when they get in that situation or you know when hell,

961
00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:04,400
Speaker 2: it could be me too. What if I'm on a

962
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:06,520
Speaker 2: movie set, you know, and I start to go into

963
00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:09,040
Speaker 2: my love addict ways, or it's like, what's the thing

964
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:12,359
Speaker 2: that's going to stop you guys from maybe going down

965
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:14,399
Speaker 2: that route again? And then it's like, hey, they're more

966
00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:17,960
Speaker 2: like twenty years in and like, you know, it's like

967
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:20,520
Speaker 2: now then now what Now It's like our kids are

968
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:22,400
Speaker 2: even older and now we've got twenty years of marriage,

969
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:24,160
Speaker 2: and how could you then do it? I know, it's

970
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:26,000
Speaker 2: all the what if game that you hate playing? But

971
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:27,920
Speaker 2: I think that's what like lives within me because I'm like,

972
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:30,400
Speaker 2: what's going to stop you the next go around?

973
00:45:31,239 --> 00:45:31,839
Speaker 3: Right? Right?

974
00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:32,600
Speaker 6: Future tripping?

975
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:34,120
Speaker 3: Yeah? Terrible? I know.

976
00:45:34,239 --> 00:45:36,960
Speaker 2: And then like that's something massive that I've worked on

977
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:39,759
Speaker 2: in therapy, but it's something that's like underground obviously, which

978
00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 2: is why it's coming out.

979
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:43,040
Speaker 3: Is that is that all primarily from us? Or does

980
00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:46,239
Speaker 3: it have to do with your parents divorcing as well

981
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:47,880
Speaker 3: when you were.

982
00:45:47,239 --> 00:45:49,200
Speaker 2: I think there's something that I can dive deeper in

983
00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:52,319
Speaker 2: with the therapist, but I feel like it's a lot

984
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:54,319
Speaker 2: when I think about it. It's like, you know, even

985
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:57,279
Speaker 2: because they say once cheater, always a cheater, you know,

986
00:45:57,360 --> 00:46:02,520
Speaker 2: And I know it's different for you know, unfortunately addicts.

987
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:05,160
Speaker 2: You know you today, you're healthy, Tomorrow we don't know.

988
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:07,960
Speaker 2: But I guess that's just my fear. Is you know,

989
00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:11,200
Speaker 2: what's going to stop y'all from going down that road

990
00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:15,520
Speaker 2: again when that's an easy exit, exit trip, right?

991
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:20,160
Speaker 6: I think that's about gaining trust in him again?

992
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:22,840
Speaker 2: Is it about boundaries or staying grounded too? Like for

993
00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:24,440
Speaker 2: you guys to know kind of what you have and

994
00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:26,640
Speaker 2: it's just maybe a rough patch that you might be

995
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:29,239
Speaker 2: in or if you're feeling bored in the relationship. I

996
00:46:29,239 --> 00:46:31,080
Speaker 2: guess that's what I'm getting at, Like, what if you

997
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:33,080
Speaker 2: guys are like, I'm bored with this and I'm I don't,

998
00:46:33,280 --> 00:46:35,799
Speaker 2: I'm not. I don't know if I feel in love anymore. So,

999
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:38,120
Speaker 2: but hey, here's something really shiny at a club or

1000
00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:40,160
Speaker 2: at a bar, or at a grocery store. How do

1001
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:41,839
Speaker 2: you not go down aisle one.

1002
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:46,399
Speaker 6: Well, that's that's what's great about, you know, having those

1003
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:49,440
Speaker 6: reminders of like, this could have gone a completely different way.

1004
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:52,000
Speaker 6: So that's that's that's the great thing about having that

1005
00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:54,839
Speaker 6: cross to bears, I did what I did. So you

1006
00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:57,840
Speaker 6: have to always keep that in the forefront because it's like, yeah, Okay,

1007
00:46:57,920 --> 00:47:00,160
Speaker 6: if I'm getting bored or I think the relationship of

1008
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:03,480
Speaker 6: stale and I see this shiny thing in the club, whoa,

1009
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:07,239
Speaker 6: I know that shiny thing in the club is going

1010
00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:10,279
Speaker 6: to cost me my marriage and my family because I've

1011
00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:13,000
Speaker 6: been there before. So that's the great thing about having

1012
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:19,319
Speaker 6: this this sort of a reminder. And you know, if

1013
00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:24,160
Speaker 6: if you are feeling you know, bored, and you're even

1014
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:27,920
Speaker 6: thinking on, hey, you know what I'm feeling attracted to

1015
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:31,239
Speaker 6: other women. Talk about it, talk about it. You know,

1016
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:33,439
Speaker 6: I'm bored, you know, I'm tired of our sex life.

1017
00:47:33,560 --> 00:47:37,400
Speaker 6: Talk about it. That's the best thing you can do.

1018
00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:40,040
Speaker 2: Not maybe to your wife, but to somebody else.

1019
00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:43,360
Speaker 4: I don't know if I want well, I don't know,

1020
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:45,640
Speaker 4: I mean, you know, or maybe have a sex life.

1021
00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:49,760
Speaker 2: If you said, like I'm I'm I'm attracted to other people,

1022
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:51,480
Speaker 2: to tory or.

1023
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:53,840
Speaker 6: I'm feeling that, it's just like you know, but maybe

1024
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:56,879
Speaker 6: that's that's that's the wrong Wow, that's the wrong word.

1025
00:47:56,920 --> 00:47:58,279
Speaker 6: I'm attracted other people.

1026
00:47:58,080 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 5: Or just.

1027
00:48:00,040 --> 00:48:03,080
Speaker 6: I know, I know, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just feeling

1028
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:06,400
Speaker 6: feeling like something's missing that and you know what, you

1029
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:08,840
Speaker 6: know what that is. I think if we're feeling attracted

1030
00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:13,560
Speaker 6: to other people is because we're starting to hate on ourself.

1031
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:17,799
Speaker 6: We're really you know, that angry dwarf is going off

1032
00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:20,680
Speaker 6: on our head again and digging us in a in

1033
00:48:20,719 --> 00:48:24,000
Speaker 6: a hole, telling us we're worthless pieces of crap. So

1034
00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:28,719
Speaker 6: we're we need we need to we need to feel attracted,

1035
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:31,120
Speaker 6: so we're gonna start kind of putting it out there

1036
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:32,799
Speaker 6: to other people. It's like, oh, she's kind of cute,

1037
00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:35,040
Speaker 6: Maybe I'll flirt with her a little bit. I feel

1038
00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:36,839
Speaker 6: fill that little hole a little bit. If you make

1039
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:41,400
Speaker 6: eye contact, you know it, talk about it, talk about it.

1040
00:48:41,400 --> 00:48:43,360
Speaker 6: It's the best thing, the best thing I think you

1041
00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:44,960
Speaker 6: can do. And that's the best thing that's works for.

1042
00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:46,400
Speaker 3: Tory and I.

1043
00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:49,040
Speaker 6: And as hard as it is, it's not easy to go, hey,

1044
00:48:49,080 --> 00:48:51,400
Speaker 6: you know what I'm feeling. Really, I'm feeling bored in

1045
00:48:51,440 --> 00:48:54,200
Speaker 6: the relationship, Like that's a tough conversation to have.

1046
00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:54,480
Speaker 3: Have it.

1047
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:57,640
Speaker 2: I'd rather you have it than find it.

1048
00:48:57,719 --> 00:49:00,680
Speaker 3: And then yeah, and it's all about.

1049
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:01,959
Speaker 2: For me too. I would say the same thing.

1050
00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:07,640
Speaker 3: About delivery too. Sure, right, I can't be saying relationship right,

1051
00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:09,960
Speaker 3: you know what I mean? So I feel like a

1052
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:12,080
Speaker 3: lot of times so people push it down until it

1053
00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:12,560
Speaker 3: comes out.

1054
00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:16,120
Speaker 6: But roller coaster, I'm tired of this.

1055
00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:20,799
Speaker 3: Yeah. By the way, so let's uh, before we let

1056
00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:22,680
Speaker 3: you go, Dean, let's transition out of that real quick.

1057
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:24,920
Speaker 3: And you're doing stand up now, how has that helped

1058
00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:28,279
Speaker 3: you kind of kind of you know, manufacturer, What got

1059
00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:31,120
Speaker 3: you into that? What helped you manufacture that kind of uh,

1060
00:49:31,239 --> 00:49:33,680
Speaker 3: you know, entertainment and everything you want to do within that.

1061
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:39,640
Speaker 6: I've been a fan of comedy since I was nine

1062
00:49:39,719 --> 00:49:41,560
Speaker 6: or ten years old. My dad came home with an

1063
00:49:41,560 --> 00:49:44,360
Speaker 6: eight track. I don't know if you guys know what

1064
00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:47,359
Speaker 6: an eight track is, A lot younger than I am.

1065
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:49,040
Speaker 6: So he came over with his eight track of Gene

1066
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:52,600
Speaker 6: Tracy and Jean Tracy was an old truck stop comedian

1067
00:49:52,640 --> 00:49:54,600
Speaker 6: and he would tour all the truck stops in the South,

1068
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:57,839
Speaker 6: and he was filthy. He was filthy, like I'd learned

1069
00:49:57,840 --> 00:50:01,680
Speaker 6: all about every sex physician and and he just made

1070
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:04,560
Speaker 6: every He just made people laugh. And so, you know,

1071
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:07,400
Speaker 6: from then on there, I you know, I discovered Red Fox,

1072
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:11,760
Speaker 6: and then Richard Pryor and Bob Newhart and Eddie Murphy

1073
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:13,600
Speaker 6: and then Robin Williams, and I was like, okay, this

1074
00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:15,960
Speaker 6: is what I want to do. So when I got

1075
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:18,520
Speaker 6: into acting at nineteen, my goal was to be a

1076
00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:22,200
Speaker 6: stand up but I didn't know why, Wow, can you

1077
00:50:22,239 --> 00:50:22,839
Speaker 6: swear on this?

1078
00:50:23,280 --> 00:50:23,480
Speaker 7: Yeah?

1079
00:50:23,719 --> 00:50:24,440
Speaker 4: Built built.

1080
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:26,759
Speaker 6: I didn't know my ass for my elbow, so I

1081
00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:28,440
Speaker 6: didn't have a point of view. You know, I was

1082
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:31,600
Speaker 6: just a young and eve and I had this this again,

1083
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:34,319
Speaker 6: the angry dwarf from my head telling me how what

1084
00:50:34,400 --> 00:50:35,880
Speaker 6: a horrible person I am. So I was like, I

1085
00:50:35,920 --> 00:50:39,040
Speaker 6: can't I can't get on stage, I can't tell jokes,

1086
00:50:39,080 --> 00:50:41,360
Speaker 6: I can't do anything. So I found it easier to

1087
00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:44,000
Speaker 6: play other people. So I got into acting and I

1088
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:46,760
Speaker 6: had a really nice I have a really great career acting.

1089
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:53,040
Speaker 6: And then at fifty three, I went to see my

1090
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:58,800
Speaker 6: buddy at a stand up club and I met Adam Hunter,

1091
00:50:58,840 --> 00:51:01,960
Speaker 6: who's my now my my comedy mentor, and he does

1092
00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:06,040
Speaker 6: a night every night Tuesdays at the Dime. And I

1093
00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:07,600
Speaker 6: told him my story and he's like, you got to

1094
00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:10,360
Speaker 6: get up. I'm like, I'm fifty three, man, you're going

1095
00:51:10,480 --> 00:51:11,839
Speaker 6: to do stand up now. He's like, no, you got

1096
00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:13,759
Speaker 6: to get up. You're not too old. You're never too old.

1097
00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:15,719
Speaker 6: Did you stand up? So he pestered me for like

1098
00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:18,960
Speaker 6: three months, So I said fine, and I wrote five

1099
00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:22,040
Speaker 6: minutes and I got up. And I've been going at

1100
00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:22,960
Speaker 6: it ever since.

1101
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:23,600
Speaker 2: You killed that.

1102
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:27,480
Speaker 6: It's yeah, it's it's addictive. And I've been very fortunate.

1103
00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:29,920
Speaker 6: You know. I opened for my friend at Caroline's in

1104
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:33,080
Speaker 6: New York. I've had some really great opportunities and I'm

1105
00:51:33,080 --> 00:51:35,200
Speaker 6: just plugging away at it and I love it. I

1106
00:51:35,239 --> 00:51:37,160
Speaker 6: you know, I wish I hadn't done it, you know,

1107
00:51:37,200 --> 00:51:39,640
Speaker 6: when I was younger, but you know, I didn't I

1108
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:41,359
Speaker 6: didn't have the point of view. Now I have six

1109
00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:43,000
Speaker 6: kids and I've.

1110
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:43,839
Speaker 7: Been through a lot.

1111
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:48,200
Speaker 6: I have a lot of content that I'm just scratching

1112
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:51,600
Speaker 6: the surface too. I mean, with being a celebrity couple

1113
00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:53,360
Speaker 6: and being in the magazine Oh.

1114
00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:54,160
Speaker 4: My god, I can't imagine.

1115
00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:56,320
Speaker 6: And so yeah, so there's there's a lot of stuff

1116
00:51:56,360 --> 00:52:00,319
Speaker 6: to mine. So I'm looking to turn our pot cast

1117
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:06,280
Speaker 6: Daddy Issues into a talk show or or or a sitcom.

1118
00:52:06,719 --> 00:52:09,520
Speaker 6: But I plan on, you know, planning doing my stand

1119
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:13,440
Speaker 6: up and continue acting and just plugging away, just you know,

1120
00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:15,239
Speaker 6: trying to try to make a living, you know.

1121
00:52:15,320 --> 00:52:17,640
Speaker 2: And his Daddy Issues is it? Who else is on

1122
00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:18,560
Speaker 2: that podcast with you?

1123
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:23,240
Speaker 6: Daddy Issues is with Adam Hunter, my mentor, and Nicky Paris.

1124
00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:27,160
Speaker 6: So Nicky's a gay comedian and he's fabulous. So our

1125
00:52:27,239 --> 00:52:29,960
Speaker 6: our sort of through line is Daddy Issues. I'm Dean McDermott,

1126
00:52:29,960 --> 00:52:32,200
Speaker 6: I have six kids, Adam Hunter is a new dad,

1127
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:33,280
Speaker 6: and Nicky needs.

1128
00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:37,799
Speaker 2: A dad, so good. So, I mean, you have a

1129
00:52:37,800 --> 00:52:39,120
Speaker 2: lot going on and you're killing it.

1130
00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:41,719
Speaker 3: That's awesome. American guys. We're glad that that's going well

1131
00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:43,200
Speaker 3: for you. Thank you.

1132
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:45,920
Speaker 6: Thank you. It's and talk about therapy. Oh my gosh,

1133
00:52:46,239 --> 00:52:48,960
Speaker 6: I just go up and I just tell everybody it's

1134
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:51,520
Speaker 6: going on in my head and it's it's pretty funny.

1135
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:54,120
Speaker 3: Good for you, man, Well, thank you so much for

1136
00:52:54,160 --> 00:52:56,359
Speaker 3: coming out and talking with us and being so My.

1137
00:52:56,400 --> 00:53:00,960
Speaker 6: Pleasure, my pleasure, and guys, keep it up, keep up

1138
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:02,879
Speaker 6: to good work. Three and a half years out. That's

1139
00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:05,719
Speaker 6: it's awesome that you're still together. Right, it's awesome work.

1140
00:53:06,239 --> 00:53:08,280
Speaker 2: No, thank you, Dane. You've been our beacon of hope.

1141
00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:09,040
Speaker 2: So thank you.

1142
00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:10,759
Speaker 6: All the best.

1143
00:53:10,760 --> 00:53:13,720
Speaker 3: Guys, appreciate it, my pleasure.

1144
00:53:23,080 --> 00:53:26,360
Speaker 2: Worried about finding the perfect gift this holiday, Well, Peloton

1145
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:29,640
Speaker 2: is the gift they're guaranteed to love this holiday season.

1146
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:32,080
Speaker 2: Give your loved one what they really want, Give them

1147
00:53:32,120 --> 00:53:35,560
Speaker 2: the gift of a Peloton. And guys, we've been able

1148
00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:37,640
Speaker 2: to try out the Pelotons in store. Actually, Mike and

1149
00:53:37,719 --> 00:53:40,439
Speaker 2: I will go to a store just so we can

1150
00:53:40,840 --> 00:53:42,720
Speaker 2: walk on the treadmill or the bike, because they truly

1151
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Speaker 2: are amazing. They offer a variety of live classes and

1152
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Speaker 2: other classes that you don't have to be live for

1153
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Speaker 2: the instructors, the leaderboard community. There's so many options. It's

1154
00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:55,359
Speaker 2: a gift of a worry free trial too, and with

1155
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:58,280
Speaker 2: Peloton's new thirty day home trial, you guys can actually

1156
00:53:58,320 --> 00:54:01,480
Speaker 2: try the bike for free thirty days. And should you

1157
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1158
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Speaker 2: the bike for a full refund. Peloton will even come

1159
00:54:06,520 --> 00:54:09,680
Speaker 2: pick up at no cost. It's a gift they'll keep

1160
00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:12,360
Speaker 2: on using. With an endless variety of entertaining live and

1161
00:54:12,400 --> 00:54:15,799
Speaker 2: on demand classes, plus motivation from world class instructors, it's

1162
00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:18,560
Speaker 2: the gift that keeps coming back well beyond the holiday season.

1163
00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:21,480
Speaker 2: And it's also the gift that saves them time. With

1164
00:54:21,520 --> 00:54:24,319
Speaker 2: an efficient, high intensity cardio workout at home, they can

1165
00:54:24,320 --> 00:54:27,120
Speaker 2: spend less time commuting to their workout or braving the

1166
00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:29,560
Speaker 2: winter weather, and more time with the people they love

1167
00:54:29,719 --> 00:54:32,799
Speaker 2: and things that matter. This holiday, give the gift of

1168
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:35,520
Speaker 2: Peloton for a limited time, get one hundred dollars off

1169
00:54:35,560 --> 00:54:38,600
Speaker 2: accessories when you purchase the Peloton bike. Go to one

1170
00:54:38,719 --> 00:54:42,040
Speaker 2: peloton dot com and use promo code wind down at checkout.

1171
00:54:42,360 --> 00:54:45,640
Speaker 2: That's one pelemone time promo code windown.

1172
00:54:46,239 --> 00:54:48,400
Speaker 3: That was good man. We could just get in a

1173
00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:51,839
Speaker 3: room with him and toy because I felt like he

1174
00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:55,520
Speaker 3: was just saying everything that we've said for the past

1175
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:58,080
Speaker 3: year on this podcast, and it's just so refreshing to

1176
00:54:58,239 --> 00:55:01,439
Speaker 3: hear from someone else's mouth who's been through the same thing.

1177
00:55:02,360 --> 00:55:05,279
Speaker 3: It's just it's just kind of comforting a little bit.

1178
00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:07,200
Speaker 2: And I love how he was just like, Yeah, it's

1179
00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:10,120
Speaker 2: going to be with us forever, and that's that's okay.

1180
00:55:10,160 --> 00:55:12,560
Speaker 2: There's no shame in that. And I love that he

1181
00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:15,440
Speaker 2: felt that he said that because it just made it be.

1182
00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:18,120
Speaker 3: Like, okay, yeah, it was. It was great, man. That

1183
00:55:18,239 --> 00:55:20,360
Speaker 3: was awesome having Diana on, and we definitely got to

1184
00:55:20,360 --> 00:55:23,560
Speaker 3: get together with him and have dinner have some conversations

1185
00:55:23,560 --> 00:55:26,480
Speaker 3: because that was great. So I was thinking, before we

1186
00:55:26,480 --> 00:55:28,000
Speaker 3: we'll get to an email, but I'll think I want

1187
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:29,440
Speaker 3: to touch on something that we talked about early in

1188
00:55:29,440 --> 00:55:33,759
Speaker 3: the episode, and we're talking about sentimental sentimental guests. Because

1189
00:55:33,760 --> 00:55:35,239
Speaker 3: I'm sitting here through everything kind of in the back

1190
00:55:35,239 --> 00:55:40,000
Speaker 3: of my mind multitasking, and I'm like, well, okay, what

1191
00:55:40,040 --> 00:55:44,319
Speaker 3: if I get Jana something sentimental? But what if it's

1192
00:55:44,440 --> 00:55:48,960
Speaker 3: not I don't write enough. What if I don't put

1193
00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:51,319
Speaker 3: enough effort? And you try laughing because there's a little

1194
00:55:51,320 --> 00:55:54,880
Speaker 3: inside joke here that I caught onto because for Jana's

1195
00:55:54,920 --> 00:56:01,920
Speaker 3: birthday birthday, birthday, apparently I didn't write enough of my

1196
00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:06,960
Speaker 3: own stuff within the card. I wrote a few lines.

1197
00:56:07,320 --> 00:56:08,719
Speaker 3: I'm one of those guys that kind of gives you

1198
00:56:08,719 --> 00:56:11,360
Speaker 3: a little underline the words that are being cool.

1199
00:56:13,120 --> 00:56:18,560
Speaker 2: Underline It's underline the card words happy birthday, happies underlined,

1200
00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:22,880
Speaker 2: like underline the ones if the card says you are

1201
00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:26,360
Speaker 2: the most beautiful, and they keith underline what they wrote under.

1202
00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:30,240
Speaker 3: Like, hey, homeworks said it right, I couldn't say better myself.

1203
00:56:30,280 --> 00:56:32,000
Speaker 3: Why am I going to reiterate? That's why I got

1204
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:34,720
Speaker 3: the card because it said things that I feel and think,

1205
00:56:35,440 --> 00:56:38,440
Speaker 3: So why I say the same thing Otherwise I'll just

1206
00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:39,960
Speaker 3: get a blank card all the time. Just write it.

1207
00:56:39,960 --> 00:56:40,719
Speaker 3: Would you rather have that?

1208
00:56:41,080 --> 00:56:41,400
Speaker 2: Okay?

1209
00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:42,320
Speaker 3: So she would.

1210
00:56:42,560 --> 00:56:46,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, So this is funny. And the reason he's bringing

1211
00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:48,920
Speaker 2: this up is because Sarah didn't write my birthday card yet.

1212
00:56:48,920 --> 00:56:52,600
Speaker 2: And I said, honestly, girl, just tell me what you

1213
00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:54,480
Speaker 2: want to say, because I know.

1214
00:56:54,600 --> 00:56:55,640
Speaker 4: I was like, do you have a pen? I need

1215
00:56:55,640 --> 00:56:56,400
Speaker 4: to write your birthday card?

1216
00:56:56,440 --> 00:56:58,360
Speaker 5: And she was like, oh my god, just honestly tell me,

1217
00:56:59,120 --> 00:57:01,000
Speaker 5: because you know I have like a thing with birthday.

1218
00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:03,440
Speaker 2: I have a thing with cards in general.

1219
00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:05,640
Speaker 4: I mean with cards, sorry, ot with cards.

1220
00:57:06,120 --> 00:57:06,960
Speaker 2: For me personally.

1221
00:57:07,880 --> 00:57:10,759
Speaker 4: You took me into another room her.

1222
00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:12,759
Speaker 2: I don't want to upset Michael or like her.

1223
00:57:13,400 --> 00:57:13,759
Speaker 7: She goes.

1224
00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:16,120
Speaker 4: I just really hate when people don't, like, you know,

1225
00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:18,360
Speaker 4: write their feelings and mean it and write a lot.

1226
00:57:18,440 --> 00:57:21,760
Speaker 4: And I'm like, okay. So I go into the room and.

1227
00:57:21,720 --> 00:57:23,240
Speaker 5: Mike's like, what are you guys doing? Oh well, I'm just

1228
00:57:23,280 --> 00:57:25,200
Speaker 5: writing in Jana's card. But I'm not gonna write I'm

1229
00:57:25,200 --> 00:57:27,320
Speaker 5: just gonna say what I would say. I'd probably write

1230
00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:29,320
Speaker 5: something long and heartfelt and tell her you know how

1231
00:57:29,360 --> 00:57:31,440
Speaker 5: much I love her, and how how special of the

1232
00:57:31,520 --> 00:57:33,000
Speaker 5: day this is, and how you know this day would

1233
00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:35,040
Speaker 5: mean nothing because it's her birthday and if I wasn't

1234
00:57:35,080 --> 00:57:37,880
Speaker 5: here with And He's like, Okay, I get you're saying.

1235
00:57:38,560 --> 00:57:41,480
Speaker 2: I just wanted for some reason, I would. I've said

1236
00:57:41,520 --> 00:57:43,960
Speaker 2: this since I was probably in high school. I don't

1237
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:47,880
Speaker 2: like I like cards that They're totally fine. The cards

1238
00:57:47,880 --> 00:57:51,600
Speaker 2: are made, especially Hallmark cards. I love them, but when

1239
00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:54,360
Speaker 2: I get them, I would rather have some I would

1240
00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:57,280
Speaker 2: rather like when I give someone a card, I write

1241
00:57:57,520 --> 00:57:59,360
Speaker 2: still like on the one side of it, like a

1242
00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:01,240
Speaker 2: real long you know, high school letter.

1243
00:58:01,960 --> 00:58:03,520
Speaker 4: But dear Mike, dear Mike.

1244
00:58:03,920 --> 00:58:07,800
Speaker 2: Comma. But if someone were to give me a card,

1245
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:10,640
Speaker 2: I would rather than make the card and then write

1246
00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:14,120
Speaker 2: their own words, because that means more to me than

1247
00:58:14,200 --> 00:58:16,160
Speaker 2: just them giving me a Hallmark card and then saying

1248
00:58:16,320 --> 00:58:17,320
Speaker 2: happy birthday, love Mike.

1249
00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:19,760
Speaker 3: But I never just say that, but you write.

1250
00:58:19,560 --> 00:58:22,880
Speaker 2: Like one sentence, I will never.

1251
00:58:25,640 --> 00:58:26,880
Speaker 4: Birthday, have an amazing day.

1252
00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:29,840
Speaker 3: I will never ever get you a card with words

1253
00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:31,800
Speaker 3: in it ever again, every card will.

1254
00:58:32,440 --> 00:58:35,200
Speaker 5: I love that, No, because then it's going to be

1255
00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:37,160
Speaker 5: blank blank because he's don't going to know what to

1256
00:58:37,160 --> 00:58:44,160
Speaker 5: write in it. Fine, that's funny, That's that's actually funny

1257
00:58:44,160 --> 00:58:46,160
Speaker 5: because that is a thing with me and tytoo.

1258
00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:48,160
Speaker 4: So in the beginning, I love No.

1259
00:58:48,240 --> 00:58:50,680
Speaker 5: I love cards like even since literally I love I

1260
00:58:50,720 --> 00:58:53,040
Speaker 5: keep all my cards. I have cards since high school,

1261
00:58:53,880 --> 00:58:57,840
Speaker 5: and I always write, you know, not intense things. But

1262
00:58:57,880 --> 00:59:00,000
Speaker 5: I'll go on for a little bit, and he really

1263
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:01,320
Speaker 5: caught on and it made me happy.

1264
00:59:01,640 --> 00:59:04,600
Speaker 2: You know, not all of them, because I'll keep the

1265
00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:06,640
Speaker 2: ones where he writes a lot, the other ones where

1266
00:59:06,640 --> 00:59:08,640
Speaker 2: he just says, yeah, I love you, happy birthday.

1267
00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:11,160
Speaker 3: I'm like, you'll keep my notes that say have like

1268
00:59:11,160 --> 00:59:11,960
Speaker 3: a sentence on them.

1269
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:13,040
Speaker 2: But that's like what.

1270
00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:16,080
Speaker 1: If he underlines happy right exactly?

1271
00:59:16,560 --> 00:59:18,480
Speaker 3: You see how many underlines I had in that card.

1272
00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:23,320
Speaker 3: So for those who, uh who might ever give Jana

1273
00:59:23,320 --> 00:59:25,280
Speaker 3: a birthday card in the future, give her a card,

1274
00:59:25,320 --> 00:59:27,960
Speaker 3: put your blood sweat behind it on the back of it,

1275
00:59:28,080 --> 00:59:31,520
Speaker 3: tape a USB drive or to get USB drive with

1276
00:59:31,560 --> 00:59:34,560
Speaker 3: an entire thesis paper on how much you love her

1277
00:59:34,560 --> 00:59:35,560
Speaker 3: and how special she is.

1278
00:59:35,600 --> 00:59:38,640
Speaker 2: I think like four sentences would be the appropriate for

1279
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:39,840
Speaker 2: at least four.

1280
00:59:40,440 --> 00:59:42,280
Speaker 1: I'm feeling bad because I texted her and it really

1281
00:59:42,360 --> 00:59:43,360
Speaker 1: wasn't nearly enough.

1282
00:59:43,440 --> 00:59:45,960
Speaker 7: Now that I think back on my text, birthday.

1283
00:59:45,680 --> 00:59:47,760
Speaker 2: Texts are totally fine. I'm saying in a card. For

1284
00:59:48,120 --> 00:59:50,440
Speaker 2: buying someone else's words, you should write more than you

1285
00:59:50,480 --> 00:59:52,120
Speaker 2: should write at least four sentences your own.

1286
00:59:52,200 --> 00:59:53,840
Speaker 3: My hand, Ryan's going to become really big.

1287
00:59:53,920 --> 00:59:55,200
Speaker 4: How do you sign your cards?

1288
00:59:56,320 --> 00:59:59,440
Speaker 3: You know how I signed mine every time? How do

1289
00:59:59,480 --> 01:00:03,880
Speaker 3: I sign one the m How do I sign mine? Uh?

1290
01:00:04,440 --> 01:00:12,360
Speaker 2: You slurp, unbelievable clearly the words your time?

1291
01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:14,680
Speaker 4: Because she obviously doesn't remember these cards.

1292
01:00:15,200 --> 01:00:17,040
Speaker 2: Forever yours, thank you.

1293
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:19,080
Speaker 3: Love Michael, Forever yours love Michael.

1294
01:00:18,840 --> 01:00:20,080
Speaker 4: And every card love Michael.

1295
01:00:20,120 --> 01:00:22,680
Speaker 3: Okay, every note, every card, forever yours, love Michael.

1296
01:00:22,440 --> 01:00:26,200
Speaker 2: I do write I love that, I say I love you?

1297
01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:28,880
Speaker 3: What what? What more could I say in any other

1298
01:00:28,920 --> 01:00:30,400
Speaker 3: words besides forever yours?

1299
01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:37,080
Speaker 2: Oh? Thanks man saying what it's Janner right, dear Michael.

1300
01:00:37,240 --> 01:00:39,720
Speaker 3: She scribbles scribbles out the world.

1301
01:00:39,840 --> 01:00:42,040
Speaker 5: Do you do your signature like when you sign people's

1302
01:00:42,120 --> 01:00:43,960
Speaker 5: like shirts? Is that how you like sign your cards?

1303
01:00:44,320 --> 01:00:44,360
Speaker 6: No?

1304
01:00:44,480 --> 01:00:49,120
Speaker 2: I just do love wifey or jamma or slurp.

1305
01:00:50,840 --> 01:00:53,840
Speaker 3: Meanwhile, I'm like forever yours yours.

1306
01:00:54,440 --> 01:00:58,640
Speaker 2: You never mind ever, I'm ever, so.

1307
01:00:58,680 --> 01:00:59,360
Speaker 3: We can get out of here.

1308
01:01:00,080 --> 01:01:02,400
Speaker 1: Ashley, my husband and I are eighteen weeks pregnant. The

1309
01:01:02,440 --> 01:01:05,040
Speaker 1: past few days, my husband seemed distant and avoiding me.

1310
01:01:05,600 --> 01:01:09,080
Speaker 1: I sensed something was wrong, so I looked in his phone. No,

1311
01:01:09,960 --> 01:01:12,280
Speaker 1: I found no hold on. It's not where you think

1312
01:01:12,320 --> 01:01:14,720
Speaker 1: it's going. But it's not great either. I found a

1313
01:01:14,800 --> 01:01:18,360
Speaker 1: text exchange between him and his sister, in which he

1314
01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:21,280
Speaker 1: confided that he doesn't want this baby, that he never

1315
01:01:21,360 --> 01:01:25,080
Speaker 1: wanted this baby and resents me because I'm carrying the baby.

1316
01:01:25,760 --> 01:01:28,080
Speaker 1: He wrote how he doesn't know if he ever loved me,

1317
01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:30,880
Speaker 1: that I pressured him into marriage and kids. He told

1318
01:01:30,920 --> 01:01:33,040
Speaker 1: his sister. He's unhappy and doesn't know if he wants

1319
01:01:33,080 --> 01:01:36,959
Speaker 1: to be with me. Oh, I was blindsided. We both

1320
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:39,000
Speaker 1: agreed to start trying for a family and moving our

1321
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:41,600
Speaker 1: life forward. I believe it's his fear talking since it's

1322
01:01:41,640 --> 01:01:43,680
Speaker 1: our first child. But how can I move past this?

1323
01:01:44,080 --> 01:01:46,360
Speaker 1: He doesn't know. I saw the text exchange, and I've

1324
01:01:46,360 --> 01:01:49,120
Speaker 1: tried addressing the topic without cornering him. But my heart

1325
01:01:49,200 --> 01:01:52,360
Speaker 1: is broken and my anxiety is through the roof. I

1326
01:01:52,400 --> 01:01:55,480
Speaker 1: feel loft and numb. Any advice or prayers would be

1327
01:01:55,480 --> 01:01:56,440
Speaker 1: greatly appreciated.

1328
01:01:56,560 --> 01:01:57,400
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.

1329
01:01:57,640 --> 01:01:59,720
Speaker 2: First of all, take a deep breath, baby, you're pregnant.

1330
01:02:00,280 --> 01:02:04,720
Speaker 2: That anxiety is not good. Oh, Mike, I have I

1331
01:02:04,840 --> 01:02:07,720
Speaker 2: don't have any words for this one. That's that's hard

1332
01:02:07,800 --> 01:02:10,320
Speaker 2: because I feel like when she says that it's her,

1333
01:02:10,840 --> 01:02:13,680
Speaker 2: it's it's his fear. But I don't know if I

1334
01:02:13,680 --> 01:02:15,480
Speaker 2: could ever forget those words if I saw that.

1335
01:02:16,880 --> 01:02:18,480
Speaker 4: Well, and it takes two to tango. He knows what

1336
01:02:18,560 --> 01:02:19,960
Speaker 4: he was doing when he got your pregnant.

1337
01:02:20,120 --> 01:02:23,200
Speaker 2: So and even if he felt forced, you still at

1338
01:02:23,200 --> 01:02:24,600
Speaker 2: the end of the day, and I can I can

1339
01:02:24,720 --> 01:02:26,560
Speaker 2: kind of relate to ours where it's like okay, I

1340
01:02:26,720 --> 01:02:30,680
Speaker 2: know sometimes you felt pressed to the fire, but at

1341
01:02:30,720 --> 01:02:32,240
Speaker 2: the same time, it was still a decision that you

1342
01:02:32,360 --> 01:02:33,080
Speaker 2: did make.

1343
01:02:33,200 --> 01:02:33,360
Speaker 3: Two.

1344
01:02:34,440 --> 01:02:36,680
Speaker 2: That's tough. But I don't know if I could forget

1345
01:02:36,680 --> 01:02:39,320
Speaker 2: those words if I saw that on your phone.

1346
01:02:40,280 --> 01:02:41,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's uh.

1347
01:02:43,320 --> 01:02:45,120
Speaker 2: Man, I would confront him.

1348
01:02:45,240 --> 01:02:46,520
Speaker 3: You have, I definitely.

1349
01:02:46,880 --> 01:02:49,320
Speaker 4: I don't know how she hasn't. I don't know how

1350
01:02:49,360 --> 01:02:50,280
Speaker 4: she do.

1351
01:02:50,720 --> 01:02:52,919
Speaker 2: But come not at a good from a good place.

1352
01:02:53,040 --> 01:02:56,920
Speaker 2: That's my advice from a very from a very calm,

1353
01:02:57,000 --> 01:03:00,800
Speaker 2: calm collected. Hey, I'm so sorry. I I'll you a

1354
01:03:00,840 --> 01:03:03,360
Speaker 2: little distant, and I'm so sorry. I looked at your

1355
01:03:03,400 --> 01:03:05,240
Speaker 2: phone and I saw this message and I'm just having

1356
01:03:05,280 --> 01:03:07,280
Speaker 2: a really hard time processing this. I know this is

1357
01:03:07,840 --> 01:03:10,920
Speaker 2: your private space, and I'm sorry for I'm sorry for

1358
01:03:12,040 --> 01:03:16,960
Speaker 2: breaking that space and breaking that privacy. But now I

1359
01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:18,600
Speaker 2: don't know what to do with this, and I need,

1360
01:03:19,120 --> 01:03:22,360
Speaker 2: I need. Can we can we talk about this?

1361
01:03:23,480 --> 01:03:25,240
Speaker 4: Or does she just give him the chance to tell her?

1362
01:03:25,320 --> 01:03:27,600
Speaker 4: Maybe I went through your phone.

1363
01:03:28,160 --> 01:03:32,000
Speaker 3: So I would. I would just in my opinion, again,

1364
01:03:32,080 --> 01:03:36,240
Speaker 3: this is my opinion, Ashley, just because being a guy,

1365
01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:41,800
Speaker 3: and you'd have to really like Jana just explained dance

1366
01:03:41,960 --> 01:03:45,080
Speaker 3: very delicately around introducing the fact that you looked at

1367
01:03:45,120 --> 01:03:52,760
Speaker 3: this phone. So my just thought goes to try addressing

1368
01:03:52,840 --> 01:03:56,840
Speaker 3: it with him again from a standpoint of just ask him, hey,

1369
01:03:56,960 --> 01:03:59,680
Speaker 3: how are you feeling about all this? And just being like,

1370
01:04:00,080 --> 01:04:00,920
Speaker 3: you know, I'm scared.

1371
01:04:01,520 --> 01:04:02,400
Speaker 2: Isn't that playing games?

1372
01:04:02,440 --> 01:04:02,600
Speaker 3: Though?

1373
01:04:02,640 --> 01:04:04,480
Speaker 2: Like you would get mad at me because I've done that.

1374
01:04:05,400 --> 01:04:07,080
Speaker 4: I'm saying I went through your phone, and all he

1375
01:04:07,120 --> 01:04:08,600
Speaker 4: does is yell at her. Why are you going through

1376
01:04:08,600 --> 01:04:11,200
Speaker 4: my phone? I went through your phone.

1377
01:04:12,840 --> 01:04:15,040
Speaker 3: It's not about playing games, It's not it's not about

1378
01:04:15,120 --> 01:04:17,360
Speaker 3: fishing it out, because I know when you're trying to

1379
01:04:17,440 --> 01:04:18,280
Speaker 3: fish something out of it.

1380
01:04:18,360 --> 01:04:19,600
Speaker 2: How is that not fishing.

1381
01:04:19,440 --> 01:04:21,640
Speaker 3: Because because it's still something that you want to have

1382
01:04:21,720 --> 01:04:22,680
Speaker 3: a conversation about.

1383
01:04:22,920 --> 01:04:24,680
Speaker 2: What if it doesn't say anything, He's like, no, I'm good,

1384
01:04:24,680 --> 01:04:25,200
Speaker 2: I'm excited.

1385
01:04:25,800 --> 01:04:27,480
Speaker 3: Then then you addressed it like you said.

1386
01:04:27,320 --> 01:04:29,720
Speaker 2: Okay, because if not, then if all I'm.

1387
01:04:29,560 --> 01:04:31,720
Speaker 3: Saying, yeah, no, no, don't keep going. All I'm saying

1388
01:04:31,800 --> 01:04:34,439
Speaker 3: is is started off with saying expressing your fear because

1389
01:04:34,480 --> 01:04:36,040
Speaker 3: you're this is your first child, You're gonna be a

1390
01:04:36,080 --> 01:04:38,760
Speaker 3: new mother, there's going to be fear attached. Be like, hey,

1391
01:04:38,800 --> 01:04:41,760
Speaker 3: I'm really anxious, I'm really fearful. Like, I don't you know,

1392
01:04:41,960 --> 01:04:44,280
Speaker 3: how are you feeling? And if he does played off

1393
01:04:44,320 --> 01:04:45,760
Speaker 3: he's like, oh, I'm good, We're gonna be all right,

1394
01:04:46,640 --> 01:04:50,440
Speaker 3: then then be like okay. And it doesn't even have

1395
01:04:50,600 --> 01:04:53,200
Speaker 3: to be in that moment. It could be later that

1396
01:04:53,320 --> 01:04:56,440
Speaker 3: day or the next day to be like, hey and

1397
01:04:56,720 --> 01:04:58,840
Speaker 3: do what Jana said. So that's just my thought.

1398
01:04:59,600 --> 01:05:01,680
Speaker 2: And if and if he doesn't says to stop the

1399
01:05:01,760 --> 01:05:04,480
Speaker 2: fishing after that, because I know I've unfortunately done that

1400
01:05:04,520 --> 01:05:07,000
Speaker 2: in the past two where I've fished old fish. But

1401
01:05:07,080 --> 01:05:08,920
Speaker 2: I feel like that just I mean, I get what

1402
01:05:08,960 --> 01:05:10,800
Speaker 2: you're saying, but it's still she's still fishing.

1403
01:05:11,760 --> 01:05:13,840
Speaker 3: It's it's do you see what I mean? Though? Yeah,

1404
01:05:13,880 --> 01:05:17,040
Speaker 3: but it's an opportunity to talk about something that should

1405
01:05:17,040 --> 01:05:19,000
Speaker 3: be talked about anyway. It's not just trying to.

1406
01:05:20,520 --> 01:05:21,880
Speaker 4: Let me make sure sure we're on the same team.

1407
01:05:21,920 --> 01:05:22,840
Speaker 4: We're about to have a baby.

1408
01:05:23,720 --> 01:05:26,400
Speaker 2: Let's okay, So start with Mike and with mine. If

1409
01:05:26,440 --> 01:05:27,560
Speaker 2: it doesn't happen, all right.

1410
01:05:27,640 --> 01:05:30,440
Speaker 1: This one's from anonymous. I got engaged to my boyfriend

1411
01:05:30,480 --> 01:05:32,560
Speaker 1: of three years. We lived together, everything's been great. Well,

1412
01:05:32,560 --> 01:05:33,840
Speaker 1: one night he went to the baller and was having

1413
01:05:33,840 --> 01:05:36,200
Speaker 1: a friendly conversation with a woman. At the end of

1414
01:05:36,200 --> 01:05:38,400
Speaker 1: the night, they exchanged numbers. A week later, my gut

1415
01:05:38,480 --> 01:05:39,720
Speaker 1: was telling me to go through his phone and it's

1416
01:05:39,760 --> 01:05:42,440
Speaker 1: on Snapchat. They've been talking and became best friends on it.

1417
01:05:43,800 --> 01:05:45,560
Speaker 1: When I confronted my fiance, he said, no, no, no,

1418
01:05:45,640 --> 01:05:47,240
Speaker 1: we're just getting to know each other. Nothing has been

1419
01:05:47,280 --> 01:05:50,680
Speaker 1: said that would disrespect me or our relationship. He's also

1420
01:05:50,760 --> 01:05:52,480
Speaker 1: never given me a reason not to trust him, so

1421
01:05:52,520 --> 01:05:54,960
Speaker 1: I let it go. So I messaged the girl on Facebook.

1422
01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:57,360
Speaker 1: She said she originally said no to exchanging numbers, but

1423
01:05:57,440 --> 01:05:59,200
Speaker 1: decided she had nothing to lose, so she gave him

1424
01:05:59,200 --> 01:06:02,520
Speaker 1: her number. She also said he kept initiating the snaps

1425
01:06:02,560 --> 01:06:03,439
Speaker 1: in the conversations.

1426
01:06:03,640 --> 01:06:05,000
Speaker 7: I don't know what to do. I don't know who

1427
01:06:05,000 --> 01:06:06,640
Speaker 7: to believe any of us would be helpful.

1428
01:06:06,680 --> 01:06:08,720
Speaker 1: And then she also says, I love you both and

1429
01:06:08,840 --> 01:06:11,920
Speaker 1: literally use your podcast and television shows as therapy to

1430
01:06:11,960 --> 01:06:14,160
Speaker 1: help me in rough situations. So thank you for being

1431
01:06:14,240 --> 01:06:16,560
Speaker 1: so raw, open and honest about your guys' lives. It

1432
01:06:16,680 --> 01:06:17,200
Speaker 1: means a lot.

1433
01:06:17,840 --> 01:06:18,120
Speaker 2: Thank you.

1434
01:06:18,400 --> 01:06:19,280
Speaker 3: Thank you Anonymous.

1435
01:06:22,840 --> 01:06:25,880
Speaker 2: Guys need to have like if you're married, you don't.

1436
01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:29,480
Speaker 3: If you're engaged, yes hashtag no new friends.

1437
01:06:29,600 --> 01:06:32,840
Speaker 4: It's like the thing again, it's kind of just one thing.

1438
01:06:33,080 --> 01:06:35,520
Speaker 3: And we've kind of touched on this before. It's one thing.

1439
01:06:35,840 --> 01:06:41,960
Speaker 3: If at work and over time with working with somebody,

1440
01:06:42,120 --> 01:06:46,280
Speaker 3: you you develop a relationship, and you know, but you

1441
01:06:46,440 --> 01:06:48,480
Speaker 3: talk about it with your partner, your girlfriend or your

1442
01:06:48,520 --> 01:06:50,600
Speaker 3: wife or whatever they meet them. It becomes like a

1443
01:06:50,960 --> 01:06:54,760
Speaker 3: mutual relationship just because you're working with somebody. It's just

1444
01:06:54,840 --> 01:06:56,920
Speaker 3: one of those Okay, A lot of people have those,

1445
01:06:56,960 --> 01:07:00,200
Speaker 3: and that are healthy and within boundaries. Meeting someone out

1446
01:07:00,280 --> 01:07:05,280
Speaker 3: at a bar, communicating via snapchat, there is nothing healthy

1447
01:07:05,320 --> 01:07:07,720
Speaker 3: about insaaning. I'm we're just getting to know each other.

1448
01:07:07,800 --> 01:07:09,480
Speaker 3: Why do you need to get to know some random

1449
01:07:09,520 --> 01:07:12,280
Speaker 3: shack you met at a bar? That is bold?

1450
01:07:13,200 --> 01:07:13,400
Speaker 8: Yeah?

1451
01:07:13,680 --> 01:07:16,400
Speaker 4: I agree, I think we all agree.

1452
01:07:16,640 --> 01:07:19,160
Speaker 2: So what should she do? I would say, like, stop

1453
01:07:19,200 --> 01:07:20,040
Speaker 2: communication with her?

1454
01:07:20,280 --> 01:07:22,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, be like, this doesn't make me feel comfortable. If

1455
01:07:22,720 --> 01:07:26,520
Speaker 3: he's your fiance, your fiance, you're gonna potentially marry this man.

1456
01:07:27,160 --> 01:07:30,640
Speaker 3: Say you don't feel comfortable with it, Validate that you've

1457
01:07:30,680 --> 01:07:32,640
Speaker 3: never given me a reason to trust you, not to

1458
01:07:32,680 --> 01:07:35,040
Speaker 3: trust you. But I don't like this. I don't feel

1459
01:07:35,040 --> 01:07:36,520
Speaker 3: comfortable and I'm really sorry.

1460
01:07:37,160 --> 01:07:37,440
Speaker 5: Mm hm.

1461
01:07:38,040 --> 01:07:42,640
Speaker 3: So I would like, you know, for you to cease

1462
01:07:44,920 --> 01:07:47,600
Speaker 3: yees conversation.

1463
01:07:47,720 --> 01:07:50,520
Speaker 1: It's time for boundaries to be established. Clearly they haven't

1464
01:07:50,560 --> 01:07:51,920
Speaker 1: been and guys are dumb.

1465
01:07:52,160 --> 01:07:55,560
Speaker 2: So it needs so yes, that's a good there you go,

1466
01:07:55,640 --> 01:07:58,600
Speaker 2: popa mark the create boundaries. Boundaries need to be created.

1467
01:07:58,680 --> 01:07:58,840
Speaker 3: Now.

1468
01:08:01,720 --> 01:08:04,520
Speaker 2: Hey you guys, I hope every single one of you

1469
01:08:05,040 --> 01:08:09,680
Speaker 2: have the most amazing Christmas. In New Year, we're going

1470
01:08:09,760 --> 01:08:11,760
Speaker 2: to be on hiatus for two weeks. We love you

1471
01:08:11,800 --> 01:08:14,560
Speaker 2: guys so much. For those of you that struggle during

1472
01:08:14,560 --> 01:08:17,680
Speaker 2: the holiday season, know that you're not alone, Know that

1473
01:08:18,320 --> 01:08:20,000
Speaker 2: there's people out there that love you and that care

1474
01:08:20,040 --> 01:08:22,439
Speaker 2: about you. And we just truly hope that you guys

1475
01:08:22,520 --> 01:08:27,400
Speaker 2: have an amazing holiday season and find some peace these

1476
01:08:27,520 --> 01:08:29,560
Speaker 2: next few weeks. And for all those gods, give a

1477
01:08:29,600 --> 01:08:31,439
Speaker 2: little love a little, give a little love a little.

1478
01:08:31,760 --> 01:08:33,400
Speaker 3: And for all those guys out there, if you haven't

1479
01:08:33,400 --> 01:08:36,720
Speaker 3: gotten something sentimental for your girl, go do it. Just

1480
01:08:36,920 --> 01:08:37,160
Speaker 3: do it.

1481
01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:40,080
Speaker 2: Only care about minus Sarah. Just get for the shoes.

1482
01:08:41,920 --> 01:08:47,160
Speaker 3: Merry Christmas holidays at least whatever you celebrate, enjoy it

1483
01:08:47,600 --> 01:08:49,040
Speaker 3: and be present in those moments.

1484
01:08:49,160 --> 01:08:51,280
Speaker 2: And we hope to see you guys in twenty twenty

1485
01:08:51,360 --> 01:09:00,559
Speaker 2: God willing twenty twenty Hi guys, Bye sad in Another

1486
01:09:00,640 --> 01:09:00,760
Speaker 2: year

1487
01:09:02,280 --> 01:09:05,840
Speaker 4: And another one, Buds, another one going, and another one