Speaker 1: Hell, I Suck at Dating with Denglert and Dared Haven
Speaker 1: and I heard radio podcast. Hey, everybody, welcome to help
Speaker 1: I Suck at Dating. Jared here, Dean. As always, we
Speaker 1: have a very special guest who is currently on the line.
Speaker 1: Before we get to Maggie, I did want to say
Speaker 1: how ironic life is because Easton, you guys know Easton
Speaker 1: obviously are wonderful producer editor. Really, just the backbone of
Speaker 1: this podcast is recording live from Audrey's coffee house and
Speaker 1: lounge while I'm sitting in my house. We have an
Speaker 1: almost famous live podcast with Ashley and Ben. Cassie is
Speaker 1: going to be on that, and so is Jill and
Speaker 1: that's tonight, and Easton's at the hotel literally two minutes
Speaker 1: up the road preparing for that, and he said, the
Speaker 1: WiFi sucks at this hotel. How's the WiFi at Audrey's,
Speaker 1: I said, fantastic. He drove there and now here. Easton
Speaker 1: is recording live from the actual coffee shop, not from
Speaker 1: the office though, so he does have the first aid kit.
Speaker 1: You know, it's much more beautiful in the office than
Speaker 1: it is in the coffee shop, so really the background
Speaker 1: is not as nice. But I thought that was a
Speaker 1: little funny. Anyway, Moving on to our wonderful guest this
Speaker 1: week on Help I Suck at Dating. You know her
Speaker 1: from season twenty five Matt James, this season of the Bachelor.
Speaker 1: It is Maggie Tarka. Maggie, how are you welcome to
Speaker 1: the podcast? Thank you for having me. I am great.
Speaker 1: You know, it's a beautiful day. I live in New York,
Speaker 1: so the way there it's not that but today, so
Speaker 1: I'm enjoying it very nice. So you live in New York.
Speaker 1: You were obviously on Matt James season of The Bachelor.
Speaker 1: That's where everybody knows you. So tell us how did
Speaker 1: you end up on the show. The casting director contacted
Speaker 1: me out of nowhere, so first I thought, it's like,
Speaker 1: what do I look single? So I had to put
Speaker 1: my Instagram in check because I was confused. I am
Speaker 1: I am an immigrant, so I didn't know anything about
Speaker 1: these I told you know and you when they contacted me.
Speaker 1: I took time to respond, but when they announced it
Speaker 1: was my chains, I emailed them back saying, hey, I
Speaker 1: changed my mind. I can't do it. I'm ready. So
Speaker 1: it was because of my gams. I said, yes, A
Speaker 1: nice um, mag I've got a question for you. So
Speaker 1: your storyline, well, I guess your life storyline and what
Speaker 1: we got to see highlighted on the show obviously was
Speaker 1: that you moved to the US from Ethiopia, right, yes,
Speaker 1: can we talk about that a little bit? So you
Speaker 1: were born right in Ethiopia? What was that like? And
Speaker 1: then what how old were you when you moved to
Speaker 1: the US. So I was Sonny one, and you know,
Speaker 1: I got hit by V I don't know if you
Speaker 1: gets no DV is diversity. Dis's a lottery and lotterally
Speaker 1: just go to the internet app life for it and
Speaker 1: you wait for you luck. So thankfully I got here.
Speaker 1: That life in Ethiopia is it? It's completely different. When
Speaker 1: I came here eleven it was I was like shocking
Speaker 1: everything the food, the culture, like the country. I felt
Speaker 1: like I am in a place that I don't belong.
Speaker 1: So yeah, almost it's been eleven years now, what made
Speaker 1: you want to move to the US with life, I
Speaker 1: always want to go to a foreigner country to get
Speaker 1: my mastress, my master degree because I had a bachelor
Speaker 1: inform of Marcy back home and I just and watching
Speaker 1: the movie. You know, it's very exciting like America. That life,
Speaker 1: it's everything is beautiful, it's a can't get rich very easily,
Speaker 1: all that kind of idea that I had. But I
Speaker 1: want to learn. I want to learn, I want to
Speaker 1: improve myself, and I wouldn't I want a better life. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's all the reason you need. Do you ever
Speaker 1: go back to visit Ethiopia? I went back once to
Speaker 1: only seventeen, and I would love to go. There is
Speaker 1: a seed war going on now. If it stopped, hopefully,
Speaker 1: well I'll go back. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of um
Speaker 1: the area of Eastern Africa, northeastern Africa, there's like a
Speaker 1: little bit of like civil unrest for the most part. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it used to be a very full place, but now
Speaker 1: it's completely changed. Yeah. Well hopefully in our lifetimes will
Speaker 1: be able to see it changed back to being peaceful again,
Speaker 1: I guess, but yeah, definitely. Um, well, I wanted to
Speaker 1: know what the how you said it was, I mean,
Speaker 1: completely different than your lifestyle back home in ethiopen when
Speaker 1: you moved to New York City, which I can only
Speaker 1: imagine you're such a fish out of sea. You're in
Speaker 1: a new area surrounded by millions of people, especially in
Speaker 1: New York City. I go and I'm from the State's
Speaker 1: and it's overwhelming to me. I'm not a big city. Again.
Speaker 1: I didn't like l A, I don't like New York.
Speaker 1: So I feel very much like a fish out of
Speaker 1: water when I'm in that city. So what was it
Speaker 1: like for you to adjust in this new Did you
Speaker 1: ever have doubts? Did you ever possibly regret coming here
Speaker 1: and saying maybe I'm I made the wrong decision before
Speaker 1: you ultimately decided, oh no, this is what's right for me.
Speaker 1: Um to start with, no regret, because America is a
Speaker 1: countrol of opportunity, and I'm very grateful to this country.
Speaker 1: But when I came first, the family who sponsored me,
Speaker 1: they asked me to come to New York JFK Airport
Speaker 1: so they can show me how America is. Then when
Speaker 1: I came here, like, I saw this big building and
Speaker 1: beautiful people, and I said to myself, I am this
Speaker 1: poor immigrant little girl. There is no way I can't
Speaker 1: feel in here. I am very poor. So what I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do? Then? You know, we went to Baltimore because
Speaker 1: the family went from Baltimore. Actually, they just wanted me
Speaker 1: to see New York that's why I came to New York.
Speaker 1: So funny story, The main reason I moved to New
Speaker 1: York is to define that because I say, I can't
Speaker 1: do it, this is not for me. I can't fit in.
Speaker 1: And and I moved back after I graduate school, I
Speaker 1: came to New York. So I have no regrets. I'm very,
Speaker 1: very grateful. Yea, I've got a question for you. What
Speaker 1: is because you moved from Ethiopa when you're twenty one?
Speaker 1: You said, what is it like dating in Ethiopia compared
Speaker 1: to dating in the US that you've experienced so far?
Speaker 1: And the follow up question, do you stuck at dating
Speaker 1: in both countries? Done? Um? In EUROPEA, I was this
Speaker 1: very grounded school nerd girl who goes to church kind
Speaker 1: of girl. I My family were, you know, some my farmers.
Speaker 1: So I got school, I come back home. I helped
Speaker 1: them with the cuss with the housework. Then in college
Speaker 1: I kind of started dating. And you Ethyopia is like
Speaker 1: the guy up pushed you. It's not like you don't
Speaker 1: choose on my time. Like the guy pushed you. You
Speaker 1: said yes or no, and I wasn't. I was a
Speaker 1: very you know, I don't talk too much I was
Speaker 1: very shy, and it was hard for me to get
Speaker 1: out of that show. That's why, like everybody, my friends,
Speaker 1: they freaked out when they heard like I was on
Speaker 1: the Butler Rick Maggie. How what change when I came
Speaker 1: to America. I think that the show I grew up like.
Speaker 1: The show made me realize First, you know, if I
Speaker 1: like a guy, I can approach myself, I can't fight
Speaker 1: for him as and another, like the other thing I
Speaker 1: learned from the show is that I I am confident
Speaker 1: on approaching guys. I don't have to explain the guy
Speaker 1: to approach me or that. But you know, I'm still shy.
Speaker 1: So I think I sat on dating in both of
Speaker 1: them because I'm still single. Well maybe you're taking your time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's all you're just waiting for the right person. That Plus,
Speaker 1: you know, with the you know, with the back home
Speaker 1: situation and doing activism, my mind is completely like just
Speaker 1: can't focus to entertain someone when I'm freaking out. Am
Speaker 1: I gonna ask you? My family again? That has a
Speaker 1: lot of pressure, especially this past two years because after
Speaker 1: I got my pharmacy and know I got my dad
Speaker 1: Tray twenty nineteen, I was like, yes, done. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: have a boyfriend. I'm gonna really I'm gonna be dating
Speaker 1: all that. But like the COVID happened, then the world happened.
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I'm just you know, taking my time,
Speaker 1: I guess, but you know, after all, happiness is the key.
Speaker 1: I am. I am happy. I don't know, you know,
Speaker 1: and I would like to show my happiness with someone,
Speaker 1: but I'm happy. Yeah. Well, I've got a question for you.
Speaker 1: You say you're shy, but would you do you think
Speaker 1: you're shy or do you think you're just an introvert? Oh,
Speaker 1: I am actually more off extrovert, but I am. Can
Speaker 1: you not hill? I mean I can. I'm kind of
Speaker 1: getting the sense. But it's just crazy to me that
Speaker 1: someone like you'd be shy because you're so accomplished with
Speaker 1: your education, and you've done so many things with your life,
Speaker 1: and of course you're very beautiful. It's like, well, I
Speaker 1: don't understand, but I guess at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: like everyone has the reasons to be shy. But it's
Speaker 1: just started for me to grasp why someone like you
Speaker 1: would be shy, because it seems like you have everything
Speaker 1: going for you, not that kind of ship. Thank you first,
Speaker 1: I appreciate that, but not that kind of shot. It's, um,
Speaker 1: you know, growing up, I didn't get used to it,
Speaker 1: and this is not something that as like growing up
Speaker 1: the girl will upproach you and what on the only
Speaker 1: age if I was back home, the family will agree
Speaker 1: for you to get married with someone. Mostly so I
Speaker 1: just didn't know how to so like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's just the way I go up is like you
Speaker 1: don't just go to that guy and talk to him,
Speaker 1: you know, stuff like that, right, and then here you are,
Speaker 1: you going on a TV show where you have to
Speaker 1: put it all out there on the table. Did you
Speaker 1: notice after did you notice the difference between your like
Speaker 1: maybe like flirting style or anything like that before and
Speaker 1: after the show? Because for me specifically, it did make
Speaker 1: me a little more confident to talk to girls. I
Speaker 1: would say, um, didn't have that effect on you at all? Yeah,
Speaker 1: and added a confidence I am like I'm outgoing now
Speaker 1: Before I was, I know, we have to meet at
Speaker 1: church or we have to meet at the pharmacy. If not,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to talk to you, not on the
Speaker 1: bar or the restaurant. I was that, you know, I
Speaker 1: don't talk. But after the show, I learned how to
Speaker 1: make a good conversation with a man, no matter who
Speaker 1: that is. You know, a good date, bad date, I
Speaker 1: will see if it's a bad date, I will still
Speaker 1: be a lady and finish the talk and leave. That's
Speaker 1: funny because at the show, you know, like you're talking,
Speaker 1: you don't know how the date is going, and there's
Speaker 1: another commistake your guy. In the real world I would
Speaker 1: have I would be like, what, no, this is my guy.
Speaker 1: But at the show you have to let that good
Speaker 1: talk to him. So like but see, I still learn
Speaker 1: just be a lady, talk to the guy and move on.
Speaker 1: That's what I think that I brought back with me.
Speaker 1: If the date is but I'll be a lady out here.
Speaker 1: Maybe all a nice meeting you, I'm gone. Do you
Speaker 1: find yourself having a lot of those bad types of
Speaker 1: dates in New York? Not really? Well I'm not doing
Speaker 1: that much, but not really, I think, God, um no,
Speaker 1: I never had but one like in I used to
Speaker 1: live in Virginia. I just moved here in October. So
Speaker 1: it's been a year from Virginia's Virginia all nice one
Speaker 1: part of Virginia Fairfax Fairfax. Oh my god, that's where
Speaker 1: my wife is from. Yes, yes, she grew up in
Speaker 1: Great Falls. Nice. I finished high school in Shando University
Speaker 1: in Virginia. It's inside the Innoval Hospital. It's a big
Speaker 1: hospital in Fairfax. Then you know I moved here last year.
Speaker 1: Were you you worked at Fairfax Hospital? Now that school
Speaker 1: is inside the Fairfax Hospital in Nova, inside the Novas,
Speaker 1: inside the fair in the Fairfax has got her dad
Speaker 1: works the Fairfox Hospital. Yeah. So it's so funny. Small world.
Speaker 1: I know, I didn't anybody was from Fairfax area. You know,
Speaker 1: Virginian um. So what do you What do you do
Speaker 1: for work right now? I do farm as super time,
Speaker 1: Uh you know the story cool stuff in shop and
Speaker 1: I also demling and the influencer world. I know it's
Speaker 1: not that easy though. It's very hard. No, I mean,
Speaker 1: I I agree with you, it's definitely not. You know,
Speaker 1: you guys look very easy and very like elegant. It's
Speaker 1: a lot of hard work. Dean and I are not
Speaker 1: if we are even categorized as influencers, were not very
Speaker 1: good influencers. Jared, I speak for yourself, man, I loose elegance. Okay,
Speaker 1: I will say your sub I'll never forget your subway ud.
Speaker 1: That was one of the great post add brand details
Speaker 1: whatever of all time. He told my favorite one magie,
Speaker 1: I ate a Subway sandwich while skydiving. Yeah, he jumped
Speaker 1: out of a plane with the subway. That was an ad. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they subway somehow that said it was okay for me
Speaker 1: to do. It was Actually it was a hot air
Speaker 1: balloon jar, not an airplane. But anyway, Um, my dream
Speaker 1: is to have Subway. I really want to climb out
Speaker 1: Everest and I want Subway to sponsor me, and I
Speaker 1: want to tell them that I will exclusively eat Subway
Speaker 1: sandwiches the entire time I climb out Everest, and that
Speaker 1: would be like the ad for them. But I don't
Speaker 1: know if they'd go for that. Why No, it would
Speaker 1: be funny. I think it would be good for them,
Speaker 1: It would be good for me, it'd be good for everyone.
Speaker 1: One was the last time you skydive? Now I'm looking
Speaker 1: at your Instagram. It's been a long time. It's probably
Speaker 1: been about a year now. Yeah, it's been about a
Speaker 1: year now there last year, Yeah, I do. It's My
Speaker 1: best skydiving friend moved to Florida and he was always
Speaker 1: the one that would like rally the troops together and
Speaker 1: hoisauga s guy diving And now that he's gone, I
Speaker 1: don't have that that pull towards the sky diving. Uh,
Speaker 1: I guess arena that I have in the subway. Want
Speaker 1: it's so good? But you want to know who? Um
Speaker 1: who I've been talking to a little bit. Is you
Speaker 1: know John Hershey? He used to date Katie Thurston. I think, yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure if I saw his picture I'd
Speaker 1: recognize him. He was from Katie season got dumped early,
Speaker 1: but then she ended up dating him afterwards. Anyway, he's
Speaker 1: a skuy diver and we've never met in person, but
Speaker 1: we talked every once in a while. And maybe him
Speaker 1: and I with you guys should meet ten thousand feet
Speaker 1: in the air. You guys should have two planes that
Speaker 1: cross paths and then yeah, and then as you cross pass,
Speaker 1: you just jumped towards each other and then grab hands
Speaker 1: in the middle of the middle of the air. Sarcastically,
Speaker 1: but that is a really good idea, and you're like, Hi,
Speaker 1: I'm John, Hi I'm Dean, and then you pull each
Speaker 1: other shoots that like a sexual innuendow. Maybe I don't know.
Speaker 1: I kind of like it though. It could be the
Speaker 1: beginning of a romantic movie. Yeah, it could be, or
Speaker 1: the best friends flying through the end. It's like you
Speaker 1: guys never meet in person, you know, in the whole
Speaker 1: movie is just you guys writing letters towards each other,
Speaker 1: and then you finally meet ten feet in the air
Speaker 1: as you're jumping sky diving into the air, and then
Speaker 1: we both die because our para. Yeah, and then both
Speaker 1: of the shoots don't work and then you just splat.
Speaker 1: It's like the song Candles in the Wind, instead of
Speaker 1: that it's ten feet in the air. Yeah, tragic ending,
Speaker 1: but it makes you really gives you all the fields. Anyways,
Speaker 1: I feel bad. I feel like I've taken their attention
Speaker 1: to right for Maggie, where that's what we want the
Speaker 1: atte I'm enjoying it. Nobody's enjoying this, Maggie. I tell you,
Speaker 1: I under staid that I always think it's something magical.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I would do it, though, Oh
Speaker 1: you've never done it. No, should do it? What's stopping you? Fear?
Speaker 1: I love both and I don't want to die. Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: I am. I'm with Maggie on this one. That's all
Speaker 1: I can think about. I'm like, yeah, I'd love No.
Speaker 1: I have debated it. There there's a big part of
Speaker 1: me that wants to go, but I'm with Maggie. There's
Speaker 1: also a big part of me that doesn't want to
Speaker 1: splat on the surface of the earth. So that's that
Speaker 1: you want a dead No, it's so much to take
Speaker 1: and I want to be A month's much risk to take.
Speaker 1: Sorry done, but yeah, wait, do you know what the
Speaker 1: statistical likelihood of surviving are pretty much dying while parachuting
Speaker 1: it has to be so low, it's astronomically small. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like less than a thousandth of a percent. What
Speaker 1: the what are the what are the odds that your
Speaker 1: shoot doesn't open? Pretty much zero? I would say, what
Speaker 1: would cause a shoot not to open? I'm trying to
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think there's really no situation where the
Speaker 1: parachute wouldn't open. It could open up and like be
Speaker 1: twisted up, and that would be really bad. It could
Speaker 1: open up and you have like rips in it. Well,
Speaker 1: how would it How would it get twists? So I
Speaker 1: feel like it could get twisted up pretty easily. It
Speaker 1: I mean, how do you well that's that's my that's
Speaker 1: my point exactly. You just said, yeah, it could get
Speaker 1: twisted up easily, So how can that's the most common
Speaker 1: That's the most common occurrence when you skydive, is your
Speaker 1: lines getting twisted. But then what you do is you
Speaker 1: just pull the parachute like the lines above you apart
Speaker 1: from each other, and eventually it should fix itself. If
Speaker 1: it doesn't and you get into like a free spin
Speaker 1: and you start to panic, then you could cut cut
Speaker 1: your parachute away and then pull your reserve parachute and
Speaker 1: if that one's twisted, then you're just gonna have to
Speaker 1: figure it out. But I will say the safest, Uh,
Speaker 1: it's not the safest, But when you skydive tandem, you're
Speaker 1: jumping on these parachutes that are so so so big.
Speaker 1: It's like driving as suv down the highway, versus when
Speaker 1: you're jumping so low you want to jump small parachutes,
Speaker 1: which is like driving a little Porsche boxter down the highway.
Speaker 1: So like, the big, big parachutes have like even a
Speaker 1: way smaller chance of failing because there's so much wind
Speaker 1: for them to catch, and so like, if they just
Speaker 1: correct themselves so easily, so if you guys do ever
Speaker 1: go skydiving, you can think about how safe it is
Speaker 1: because you're jumping like the biggest parachute imaginable. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: so you're totally fine. I get that. It's like the
Speaker 1: difference between taking a small little puddle jumper versus taking
Speaker 1: a seven four seven, Give me that seven every single time.
Speaker 1: I want a bus in the air. But why don't
Speaker 1: you just use a big parachute every time? I'm sorry? Now,
Speaker 1: I'm so interested because as you get better at the sport, like,
Speaker 1: as you improve, you become more dangerous and you want
Speaker 1: more maneuvers, and I'm sure that you have more flexibility
Speaker 1: with a smaller parachute and dumb like that. It's more
Speaker 1: more agile, way more fast as well. So like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what I want. I want to go faster towards
Speaker 1: the ground as it's definitely something that having conflicts with,
Speaker 1: Like I'm conflicted. So what you typically want when you're
Speaker 1: starting out is like a one to one wing loading,
Speaker 1: So I wait, two hundred pounds and you want a
Speaker 1: parachute that's like two square feet. Um, My parachutes a
Speaker 1: hundred seventy square feet, which means it's a little faster
Speaker 1: than my one to one wig loading, but eventually you
Speaker 1: get people that are jumping like these eighties square foot parachutes,
Speaker 1: which is just like crazy small. It's like a one
Speaker 1: point two to one wing loading, which is like so
Speaker 1: like you come into the ground and you're swooping in
Speaker 1: and you're going like legitimately like thirty and one tiny
Speaker 1: mistake is a broken leg, concussion, whatever it might be. Like,
Speaker 1: I have a lot of friends that I follow on
Speaker 1: on Instagram that are skydivers, and I feel like every
Speaker 1: other week someone's like, oh, crash my parachute again today,
Speaker 1: I'll be in the hospital for the next three months.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I'll just stick with my big parachute
Speaker 1: and not really worry about going very fast. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: feels like the thrill from skydiving is the free fall,
Speaker 1: not after your parachute releases. You know, you'd think that,
Speaker 1: because I agree with you. I think I thought that
Speaker 1: for a while too, But it's not true because when
Speaker 1: you're free falling, as fun as that part is, you
Speaker 1: have like less I don't know, I don't know how
Speaker 1: to describe. You have less control. You have less of
Speaker 1: of of like of of falling, and then once you're
Speaker 1: under your parachute, then you can like start to do
Speaker 1: like maneuvers and tricks, more skill involved, more skill, and
Speaker 1: then you're like, obviously you're gonna land with your parachute.
Speaker 1: So there's like a lot more set up. Um. But
Speaker 1: everyone's different. Some people like the free fall a lot more.
Speaker 1: Some people like the the parachuting a lot more. I've
Speaker 1: done I've all sometimes because I think I eventually liked
Speaker 1: being under the canopy a lot more. So you would
Speaker 1: jump out of the airplane and I would just pull
Speaker 1: my parachute right away instead of having any free fall,
Speaker 1: and then you could just like float around for a
Speaker 1: couple of minutes or twenty minutes. It's pretty nice. Um.
Speaker 1: But I feel like we've been talking about this so much.
Speaker 1: I feel guilty. I feel like we've got our listeners
Speaker 1: that are like, it's either Tom Brady or skydiving with
Speaker 1: these two guys, let's freaking do The skydiving is fascinating
Speaker 1: to me. I think it's fascinating to a lot of
Speaker 1: people because it's one of those things that I would
Speaker 1: bet a majority out there would want to do it,
Speaker 1: but are just too scared to do it. Well, let's
Speaker 1: I'm gonna look it up real quick. Skydiving deaths per year.
Speaker 1: Let's see what it says. Well, we have to figure
Speaker 1: out how many people go skydiving per year? Would you say, Megan,
Speaker 1: if it's not zero, I'll ask you I'll tell you what.
Speaker 1: There's a lot more car crashes per year than there
Speaker 1: are skydiving actual how many more cars are there in
Speaker 1: the world than people who jump out of airplanes? Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll ask you guys this in two thousand nineteen, it's
Speaker 1: the last year that they have the number one record.
Speaker 1: I want you guys to guess how many fatalities there
Speaker 1: were in the entire sport of skydiving recorded. I'm sure
Speaker 1: it's probably a little higher than what they have recorded.
Speaker 1: But what do you think in the world or in
Speaker 1: the States, in the world. I bet it's low. I
Speaker 1: bet it's like two. You said death or incidents fatalities? Maybe, Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's have fifty. Those are pretty good guesses. It's fifteen
Speaker 1: one five, it says, it says you have a one
Speaker 1: in one hundred and fifty thousand chants. That's actually not
Speaker 1: that great of odds. Well, think about it. Think about it.
Speaker 1: Where you have to jump a hundred and fifty thousand
Speaker 1: times to die once. That's not how odds work, but
Speaker 1: that's how they work in my head. Can you figure
Speaker 1: out what? Okay, let's compare it to a plane crash, Like,
Speaker 1: what are the odds of you being in a plane crash?
Speaker 1: Odds of dying plane crash is going down? Very morbid.
Speaker 1: Odds of dying in the plane crash, It's got much worse.
Speaker 1: One Are you serious? No way? And I'm going to
Speaker 1: continue on some of these crazy stats. The odds of
Speaker 1: dying in a car crash as a driver are one
Speaker 1: in one and fourteen. No way, one one for what
Speaker 1: are you looking up? According to Executive Flyers dot com,
Speaker 1: that's what it says. Wow, I would wait a minute,
Speaker 1: hold on, I'm googling this. I'm gonna oh wait, But
Speaker 1: now that I'm I'm looking up Cleveland nineteen dot com
Speaker 1: says a study found the odds of dying in a
Speaker 1: commercial flight due to an accident or crash is one
Speaker 1: and twe million. Yeah, that sounds more accurate. Look at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, we just don't really know
Speaker 1: what the odds are. But the odds of dying in
Speaker 1: a car crash are pretty high higher than dying in
Speaker 1: a in a skydiving accident. And I will say, as
Speaker 1: everyone says to that is like, yeah, well there's a
Speaker 1: lot more people driving cars and there are skydiving people
Speaker 1: in the skies, which makes sense. I get that from
Speaker 1: PBS dot org. The annual risk of being killed in
Speaker 1: a plane crash for the average American is about one
Speaker 1: in eleven million. We're considered the risk of being killed
Speaker 1: in a motor vehicle crash for the average American is
Speaker 1: about one in five thousand. Wow. Okay, so executive flies
Speaker 1: is just way off then, I believe PBS dot org
Speaker 1: I would agree with that more. Okay, so you're a
Speaker 1: hundred times more likely to die skydiving than flying on
Speaker 1: an airplane, but you're twenty times less likely to die
Speaker 1: skydiving than getting in a car crash. But you're also
Speaker 1: gonna have a hundred times more fun if you skydive
Speaker 1: than just sitting in the middle row in I mean that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think the thing is when you're when you're driving
Speaker 1: in a car, the odds of you getting in like
Speaker 1: a solo car crashed by yourself under your own like
Speaker 1: power is pretty low. But when you're driving a car,
Speaker 1: it's like the other drivers are the ones you have
Speaker 1: to worry about, right, And when you're skydiving, your parachute
Speaker 1: isn't like some random person who's texting on their phone
Speaker 1: and then's going to rain into you with their car.
Speaker 1: Your parachute wants to open, and it's like an inanimate
Speaker 1: object that it's like supposed to open. So like that's
Speaker 1: kind of where the thought comes from, where it's like
Speaker 1: probably more to interest to drive a car because there's
Speaker 1: other variables that are so far out of your control.
Speaker 1: Now I'm looking I'm trying to bring this back to dating.
Speaker 1: So I'm looking up the odds of um divorce rates.
Speaker 1: What are the odds that you get divorced? Like, do
Speaker 1: you have a better chance of getting killed in a
Speaker 1: car accident or getting a divorce? I would imagine, right,
Speaker 1: I mean it's got to be so high. I mean,
Speaker 1: this is just from Google. It says almost fifty of
Speaker 1: all marriages in the United States will end in a
Speaker 1: divorce or separation. Researchers estimate that of all first marriages
Speaker 1: ended a divorce. What So you're saying, there's a shot,
Speaker 1: here's another one too, to bring it back to the
Speaker 1: whole death thing. Uh. Data from US crime reports suggests
Speaker 1: that about one in five homicide victims are killed by
Speaker 1: an intimate partner. I gotta sleep with my eye openers.
Speaker 1: So if you're gonna get you're gonna get murdered. Chances
Speaker 1: Ashley Jared. I believe that. I mean, if I was
Speaker 1: gonna yeah, I mean I could say it. Just I
Speaker 1: just unload the dishwasher the wrong way one more time,
Speaker 1: and she's like, you know, there's like a good of
Speaker 1: her brain saying, do I do it this time? Do
Speaker 1: do I do it this time? The moment? Is this
Speaker 1: the moment? Yes? As The current divorce rate in the
Speaker 1: United States is two point three persons per one thousand
Speaker 1: as crazy divorces. Wow wait wait wait, say that's that again.
Speaker 1: The current divorce rate in the United States is two
Speaker 1: point three persons per one thousand, So it's really one
Speaker 1: in five. Yeah, that's point two percent. That's like huge, Wait,
Speaker 1: that's so small. Point two percent? Don't know, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: guess does that. That's got to be of all people,
Speaker 1: not just married people. It says most Americans who file
Speaker 1: for divorce do so between January and March it's gotta
Speaker 1: be the holidays, gotta be the holiday, and you're getting ready.
Speaker 1: So it's after the holidays where you spend so much
Speaker 1: family time and you're like, I can't do this no more.
Speaker 1: And then it's getting ready for summer. You're like, I
Speaker 1: want to get this divorce separation ready to go before
Speaker 1: Hot Girl Summer begins, because you know, you gotta get
Speaker 1: out there. According to this line graph, though, it looks
Speaker 1: like the divorce rate per thousand people is dropping on average. Interesting,
Speaker 1: I mean that's a good sign. Recent divorce reachs to
Speaker 1: just a decrease the number of people disolving the marriage.
Speaker 1: That's nice. Arranged marriage marriage, Yeah, arranged marriage like in
Speaker 1: like you know, in developing countries and if you okay
Speaker 1: is a comment it's like fromily for you, aren't they
Speaker 1: way more successful traditionally like arrange marriage. It is, it
Speaker 1: is one. There is fumily involvement to they. You know,
Speaker 1: they just it's I don't know. Um I grew up.
Speaker 1: I'm old school kind. If I get married, I get
Speaker 1: married that person forever. I know everybody do that. But
Speaker 1: like in my country, like if you argue, you know,
Speaker 1: if you argue, you don't ask for separation. It just
Speaker 1: has to work with it to the stuff to ask,
Speaker 1: to involve people to help you. They don't give up,
Speaker 1: so the giving up chance is very little in those
Speaker 1: developing countries with arranged marriage than America. That's what I think.
Speaker 1: Was there ever any pressure from your family to have
Speaker 1: an arranged relationship? From Ethiopia when I was like when
Speaker 1: I was eight years old, they was there. You it's common,
Speaker 1: you know, like they make you so guys keep asking
Speaker 1: you when I when I was eight years old, then
Speaker 1: when I start when I started high school, was a lot,
Speaker 1: especially like from eight years old. In the up, you know,
Speaker 1: family starts sending hey, she's growing up. So for our sons,
Speaker 1: like the family of the guy. So when I came
Speaker 1: to America, like, yeah, a couple of people will what
Speaker 1: they do. Tradition is if a guy likes a girl,
Speaker 1: he sent family to the woman's house. So my friends
Speaker 1: here that I know, they actually went back home and
Speaker 1: send people to my family house. But since I'm already here,
Speaker 1: my family have to ask me, hey, do you know him?
Speaker 1: Can we say yes or no? So it's fun, but
Speaker 1: that you know, traditional way is it's for me. I
Speaker 1: like it. I would love to do that, like I
Speaker 1: would know the guy he has sent the family back
Speaker 1: home to ask for my family then you know we
Speaker 1: do it that way. So you do still want quite
Speaker 1: a bit of tradition involved in the whole, not not
Speaker 1: quite like almost everything per se, I will I would
Speaker 1: be Americanized a little bit, you know, a little bit
Speaker 1: civilized a little bit. But still I want the chruche.
Speaker 1: I want to keep the tradition, the family thing, the
Speaker 1: celebration thing, the religious valid thing, all that. So I've
Speaker 1: got a question for you, then what is what do
Speaker 1: you who? Do you like? What kind of person do
Speaker 1: you see yourself ending up with? Um? A successful person? Yeah?
Speaker 1: What do you look for? Honestee? That like? What what
Speaker 1: what is your type? I guess? Um, Well, my number
Speaker 1: one is religious, like not just only Christians, but someone
Speaker 1: who who praise you know, and ambitious work, you know,
Speaker 1: work a lot um help, other kindness and you know,
Speaker 1: respectful but more mostly like you know, the religious value
Speaker 1: and the motivation, the respect all that thing is as
Speaker 1: one for me, I see myself living with that like
Speaker 1: very exciting person to live with. Yeah, do you see
Speaker 1: this person being um from America from Ethiopia? Does that
Speaker 1: does that make any difference to you? It doesn't. Only
Speaker 1: the religion matters for me. So if that line up
Speaker 1: the plus you know the ambition. I like kindness, like
Speaker 1: I think someone helped me I get here. You know
Speaker 1: they sponsored me when I was asked who people helped
Speaker 1: me I got here. So I always I want my
Speaker 1: life to be helping serve others. If he has that
Speaker 1: worker hard ambission, serve others, be kind, were good to go? Gotcha? Nice?
Speaker 1: Well with a communication, I need to be a good communicator.
Speaker 1: A lot of yes. Well, like you're saying too, if
Speaker 1: you get an argument, you talk it through instead of
Speaker 1: just getting divorced um exactly growing up in Ethiopia that
Speaker 1: you grew up Christian, then it sounds like you're saying, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: my my family. You know that my family didn't send
Speaker 1: me to keep kid's garden kindergarten. Instead of kindergarten, they
Speaker 1: send me to church. So learned my ABCD numbers at church.
Speaker 1: Then I went to First Green gotcha? And then so
Speaker 1: now that you live in the US, you still practice
Speaker 1: you go to church on Sundays? Is it the same
Speaker 1: same experience? Different? Funny story. I don't love I am
Speaker 1: a singer at church. Okay, so people they didn't think,
Speaker 1: like they laugh about it that I actually sing at church.
Speaker 1: I got. I try to go every Sunday. I served
Speaker 1: by the church. We have a new church opened in
Speaker 1: New York and it's been very amazing. We're not gonna
Speaker 1: that's incredible. Yeah, my friends like you, Maggie is singing
Speaker 1: at church, like literally like in front of people. Yes,
Speaker 1: I do that. I wish I got to sing it
Speaker 1: in front of people at church. I'm self when I
Speaker 1: sing in the shower and I'm like, I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 1: Actually can hear me? You're saying, You're like you're like
Speaker 1: on the choir at church. Yeah, yeah that's yeah, that's
Speaker 1: so cool. But people love about it. It's just but
Speaker 1: when he's saying so if he's thing like, I'm just
Speaker 1: singing for God, I don't care who's watching. I used
Speaker 1: to be, but now it's like I get excited to sing. Nice.
Speaker 1: One of the best thing too about singing and a
Speaker 1: choir is you have twenty people around you singing, so
Speaker 1: even if you are really bad, yeah, they're gonna may
Speaker 1: can keep the average a little bit, yes, yes, but
Speaker 1: I think many so don't ask me to sing for
Speaker 1: you in English. I thought about asking you this thing
Speaker 1: for us, and I was like, there's no way I
Speaker 1: can put it on the spot. Oh yeah, that's come
Speaker 1: on now. Um, well, Maggie, I we talked about your
Speaker 1: you know you with um dating and how much is
Speaker 1: going on in your life and how you've really had
Speaker 1: to put it aside. You are not the only person
Speaker 1: that is dealing with a situation not similar, but in
Speaker 1: terms of working on the relationship, one of our hot
Speaker 1: topics today is Venus Williams. Venus Women Williams is obviously
Speaker 1: the very famous tennis player, one of the best tenni
Speaker 1: tennis players in the world. Her sisters Serena arguably the
Speaker 1: best tennis player that's ever seen the court. So Venus
Speaker 1: Williams earlier this week, UH was talking to People magazine
Speaker 1: and she admitted that she's working on her dating life.
Speaker 1: You've got to know when to change, and so Venus
Speaker 1: goes on to say that she thinks it's been really
Speaker 1: easy for her to slip into a routine that keeps
Speaker 1: her single and is looking towards the making a change.
Speaker 1: She goes, quote, I've had a single life for a
Speaker 1: long time and I really think it's easy to get
Speaker 1: stuck in a single life and sometimes, at least for me,
Speaker 1: harder to get out. That's probably something I'm working on now.
Speaker 1: And it makes you think about yourself and what you
Speaker 1: want and how to behave. It's definitely a lot of
Speaker 1: self thought that goes into it. When life changes, you
Speaker 1: gotta know when to change. You can't hold on to
Speaker 1: either a relationship or the singleness. Now she is forty two,
Speaker 1: My question for you guys is Maggie specifically, do you
Speaker 1: think with dating, because you have so much going on,
Speaker 1: do you find that you really kind of have to
Speaker 1: make a change in order to not be single anymore?
Speaker 1: Because a lot of people I think they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know what, somebody will come and I don't have
Speaker 1: to think about it and it will just happen naturally.
Speaker 1: But I do think, especially in my own experience, when dating,
Speaker 1: it's you have to put effort into you have to
Speaker 1: put yourself out there, and there is this um mindset
Speaker 1: that you can be in that you focus so much
Speaker 1: away from being in a relationship because you're so focused
Speaker 1: on work, that it really does put you in this
Speaker 1: mindset of being single. And that's what Venus Williams is
Speaker 1: saying that she's kind of like, I need to make
Speaker 1: a change because I'm so focused on other things besides
Speaker 1: being in a relationship. I need to start focused about
Speaker 1: being in a relationship. If I'm going to end up
Speaker 1: with someone, I thought Venus was dating the founder of
Speaker 1: Reddit or something. Did they break up? Maybe it's her sister,
Speaker 1: but yeah, it's sister. Gotcha? Gotcha? Anyway? Sorry, what was
Speaker 1: your question, Jared? Oh my yeah, my question was for Maggie.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you're in a similar thought process? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so that's actually true. Um. I listened to this procast
Speaker 1: one day. He was saying, a woman, ladies this at
Speaker 1: this age, they spent you know, day after work, or
Speaker 1: they spent on the weekend at home, watch a movie
Speaker 1: with a piece of or with a wine, and they
Speaker 1: still say they are single. So where are you meeting?
Speaker 1: Do you expect the guy to come to your door? Enough?
Speaker 1: You do? You have to show up? You have to
Speaker 1: go out, you know, you have to meet people hating
Speaker 1: me somehow? Like what am if I am ready? Like first,
Speaker 1: like knowing when I'm ready to date. I start thinking, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to expect a guy to come to
Speaker 1: church say hi, my name is bla blah blah. I
Speaker 1: want to be your husband. No, I actually have to
Speaker 1: go events. I start going events. I started when I
Speaker 1: started sponding people on agen like being nice to guys
Speaker 1: when they ask, you know, quietly, hey, I just want
Speaker 1: to take you a day respectfully? Oh sure? Before like
Speaker 1: no way. And I also like, you know, attending weddings
Speaker 1: and get together with friends. I just learned that my
Speaker 1: singleness was you know, taking all my time after work.
Speaker 1: I am happy going home, watch movie and sleep. That
Speaker 1: is my perfect night. But that is as a single
Speaker 1: that know you would get I feel like I was
Speaker 1: getting tired of it, and it's I'm always I like changing.
Speaker 1: I like doing things so that you know, as she said,
Speaker 1: um my singleness, Um, it was like it was good
Speaker 1: when it lasts, but it's not something I want to
Speaker 1: take with me. So yeah, I had to make change,
Speaker 1: you know, my even when I got to dates, I
Speaker 1: used to think, like, you know, a guy, if my
Speaker 1: water bottle is empathy, he has a cool water for me.
Speaker 1: I actually got mad one day from the day my
Speaker 1: water bottle was empathy. That guy didn't pull my water.
Speaker 1: That first was the guy didn't pull for me. I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, okay, don't lack this, don't please, don't laugh.
Speaker 1: I was I didn't know. I had this imagination. You know,
Speaker 1: you're in America. You know the guidance man should do that.
Speaker 1: So we you know, we learned that thing. I heard
Speaker 1: that thing, not learn but my water glass was empetty
Speaker 1: and he didn't prove work for me. Who wasn't this
Speaker 1: in this beautiful restaurant? So I got mad at him then,
Speaker 1: like that that shouldn't happen. I should put my own water.
Speaker 1: I should actually pull a water for him. That's the
Speaker 1: change that I made as right now, Like even the
Speaker 1: one wine glass I take to take my time, you know, like, hey,
Speaker 1: do you want me when I let him pull the wine?
Speaker 1: But if it's water, I promane, I will prohise. I
Speaker 1: am okay doing it. So yes, a change is needed
Speaker 1: if you don't want to be single anymore. So let
Speaker 1: me ask you this question because Caylen and I sometimes
Speaker 1: go back and forth on this subject where she is like, well, okay,
Speaker 1: so like say she does something that irritates me or
Speaker 1: I do something that irritates her, and then she's like okay,
Speaker 1: well then I'll just I just won't do that thing
Speaker 1: that irritates you. But then in my head, I'm like, well, no,
Speaker 1: I'll just stop being irritated by the thing that you're doing.
Speaker 1: You know, Like it's kind of like just a way
Speaker 1: to flip it around and be like, well, no, I
Speaker 1: don't want you to change anything. I'm going to change
Speaker 1: the thing that I'm bothered by. You know. It's it's
Speaker 1: kind of the same thing. It's like, instead of getting
Speaker 1: upset at him for not pouring you water, you're just
Speaker 1: gonna decide that you don't want to get upset about
Speaker 1: not having a water port for you. And I go
Speaker 1: back and forth that too, because it's like, it's so
Speaker 1: it's so easy. Well, it's easier for you to change
Speaker 1: your perspective or your opinion on something than to make
Speaker 1: someone else change theirs. And so that's kind of why
Speaker 1: I'm almost like, well, no, instead of changing what you're doing,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna change the way that I react to it,
Speaker 1: or at least try to. And I'll tell you, I'm honestly,
Speaker 1: like really really bad at it. I like to think
Speaker 1: that I'm better at it, but it's hard. It really
Speaker 1: is a hard thing to do. Um, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: The water thing is interesting because I feel like, don't
Speaker 1: you kind of think that that's happening less and less?
Speaker 1: Do you think sheivalry is like dying out a little bit? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it is, it is. I think overlooking things like as
Speaker 1: like overlooking things also like as a woman. One thing
Speaker 1: I learned was like, if you think you're a strong woman,
Speaker 1: you want to show a guy your strong woman independent.
Speaker 1: Prowing water is not you know, it's one of the
Speaker 1: things you should do. Just put your own It's okay.
Speaker 1: So those are things like if I have to present
Speaker 1: myself I'm a strong woman independent, like in my own way.
Speaker 1: Those are you know, simple thing women does for serving
Speaker 1: back home. We serve our husband, so they serve us.
Speaker 1: So it's just that's how I see it that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's getting less and less now, I think, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know, and there might need to be a shift
Speaker 1: here pretty soon. But I do agree with you and
Speaker 1: and Jared and I are big advocates and we always
Speaker 1: have it in the past for this that Instagram might
Speaker 1: potentially be the best dating app out there. It's a
Speaker 1: good one. Yeah, no twoys about it, Like, I mean,
Speaker 1: how many stories. Have you heard about people meeting on Instagram?
Speaker 1: Are you on any more of the other traditional dating
Speaker 1: apps like Bumble or anything like that? I am well though,
Speaker 1: So there was this thing called Raya my friend sign
Speaker 1: me up, but I use that for business. I came.
Speaker 1: I want to came to New York. I need to
Speaker 1: meet photographers, stuff like that. Even though you say business
Speaker 1: people actually ask you on a date. So, but I
Speaker 1: am not in any dating app. I don't want to
Speaker 1: be in data. I don't know how to keep in
Speaker 1: touch like texting I do. I'm not that. I am
Speaker 1: the old school kind place meet up, please talk, so
Speaker 1: if you say hi, hey when we meet, just like that.
Speaker 1: So whining app won't work for me. Yeah, that's fair.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of fluff on those dating apps. It's
Speaker 1: a lot of texting, not a lot of asking out.
Speaker 1: That's what I found. Yeah. Um, well, Maggie, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for joining us on this week's episode of
Speaker 1: Help I Second Dating. You've been such a pleasure and
Speaker 1: we wish you nothing but the best of luck, and
Speaker 1: we hope to hear from you soon again because we
Speaker 1: need an update on the dating life in New York City. Yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you. So much for having me. Maggie, You're amazing.
Speaker 1: Make sure everybody follows you on Instagram. Maggie, what is
Speaker 1: your handle on Instagram? H G I C A R
Speaker 1: E K. Well, everybody who's listening to this podcast, go
Speaker 1: follow Maggie. She's beautiful, she's amazing doing some incredible things
Speaker 1: on there. Once again, thank you for listening to this
Speaker 1: episode of Help I Such a Dating. Tune in Thursday
Speaker 1: and then next week hopefully we'll just all, you know,
Speaker 1: suck a little less. Follow Help by Suck at Dating
Speaker 1: on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast