Speaker 1: Start Up. Start Up Brooklyn by start Up Brooklyn Boys,
Speaker 1: start Up. They're making noise Data Up. Episode one nine,
Speaker 1: the Brooklyn Boys Podcast. We are so close to one sixty,
Speaker 1: and you know what that means. What does that mean, Bertie?
Speaker 1: It means we're one sixty. That's about I thought you
Speaker 1: were gonna have a celebration for us. I did. I did.
Speaker 1: There was something that was waiting in the way that
Speaker 1: I thought maybe we were gonna do a podcast in
Speaker 1: person for one sixty. Yeah. Yeah, but you know, a pandemic. Pandemic.
Speaker 1: Well I can't. I gotta say, man, you don't want
Speaker 1: to come to my house anyway to do this podcast
Speaker 1: because it reeks like garlic in here. I thought it
Speaker 1: was onions. Yeah that was last night. Okay, So here's
Speaker 1: the problem. You live. We've established this in a one bedroom,
Speaker 1: one living room, one kitchen apartment, right, and so any
Speaker 1: and you cook is gonna be everywhere in your house. Truth,
Speaker 1: there's no escaping it unless you put all your belongings
Speaker 1: into the bedroom and closed the door. Okay, so you
Speaker 1: didn't learn a lesson. You came to work today. I
Speaker 1: wasn't there, but everybody was saying that was there. That
Speaker 1: you wreaked of onions because your clothing, your jacket, absorbed
Speaker 1: the cooking onions smell, right, So why would you go
Speaker 1: with garlic tonight is tomorrow and night curry because it's
Speaker 1: healthy for you. These are some strong pungent spices we're
Speaker 1: talking about. I mean, but you should put your coat
Speaker 1: in the closet, then I should, but I don't. It's
Speaker 1: draped over the chair which is facing the island from
Speaker 1: between my living room and my kitchen, which is about
Speaker 1: all about three feet so it's from the stove. So
Speaker 1: you're pretty much screwed. Pretty much screwed. But it's okay.
Speaker 1: Maybe you should grill on the on your little terrace,
Speaker 1: like set up a little like a barbecue grill. Get
Speaker 1: out of here, crist out there to close the window,
Speaker 1: club door and be outside, and then the air from
Speaker 1: the cooking goes out into the your neighborhood. This is
Speaker 1: why we used to do it in Brooklyn, I mean
Speaker 1: not my house, because we we had a barbecue. We
Speaker 1: had a little bit of a back patty. It would
Speaker 1: have a barbecue on the fire escape. If you don't
Speaker 1: you known, you know the fire escape is it's it's
Speaker 1: the name tells you, but it's actually the fire escape ladder.
Speaker 1: So apartment buildings, not giant skyscrapers, but you know, five
Speaker 1: six floor apartment buildings. You would have every apartment would
Speaker 1: have access on each side of the building, a couple
Speaker 1: on each side. Maybe if it was wide enough, you'd
Speaker 1: open one of your windows and they would be a
Speaker 1: platform with a ladder going up and down like a staircase,
Speaker 1: not a ladder, but a staircase, so you can get
Speaker 1: out of the house in case of a fire, right
Speaker 1: a fire escape. Here's the here's the the kitch though
Speaker 1: the downside is the bottom of it is a as
Speaker 1: a straight ladder that you have to release from for
Speaker 1: the second floor and then climb down because if you
Speaker 1: left it down to the ground, people would climb up
Speaker 1: and rob you. There has to be has to be
Speaker 1: up in the air, so it was very difficult to
Speaker 1: get that ladder off. Sometimes. I don't think I've ever
Speaker 1: been on a fire escape ladder. I don't I know
Speaker 1: the one you're talking about. It's the one that hangs,
Speaker 1: but I didn't know how to even release it. So right,
Speaker 1: you didn't grow up in an apartment building. If I
Speaker 1: was in a fire I'd beat charcoal because I wouldn't
Speaker 1: know how to like garlic. Yeah, pretty much. I found
Speaker 1: the body's garlic. It's scary, pretty dental records of the
Speaker 1: charred Nope, bit scary, but it's it's highly illegal to
Speaker 1: barbecue on a terrace anyway, on your fire escape. You
Speaker 1: don't want to do that. It depends when you do
Speaker 1: want to do it. But if you get my my
Speaker 1: in laws, I used to live on the Upper east
Speaker 1: Side of Manhattan. They had a apartment in the sky.
Speaker 1: In the sky. I yeah, they had a corner apartment,
Speaker 1: and so the terrorists went out the side door and
Speaker 1: then wrapped around a little bit so you could have
Speaker 1: a grill out there because it was big enough. Well,
Speaker 1: you know, Upper east Side privileges. We didn't. We didn't
Speaker 1: have that where we were. You know. In my father
Speaker 1: in law's defense, they had a house in Long Island
Speaker 1: that they bought when when the when houses didn't cost
Speaker 1: a lot in the eighties, and then you know, twenty
Speaker 1: years later or five years later maybe they bought in
Speaker 1: the seventies, they sold the house and bought an apartment.
Speaker 1: He doesn't live there anymore. That apartment. Now you probably
Speaker 1: couldn't couldn't touch it. Well, it was the same price
Speaker 1: of the house. I gotta say, though, grilling, grilling outside,
Speaker 1: oh there's nothing like it. I mean, there's so many
Speaker 1: things that I would love to cook, but I have to.
Speaker 1: I'm forced to do this in here in my apartment,
Speaker 1: and so I put stuff on the stove and I
Speaker 1: try and flavor things up. Which is why, by the way,
Speaker 1: onions in garlic, because you just want stuff to like
Speaker 1: be you just wanted to. I don't know, it's a
Speaker 1: different preparation of it. It's a good terrible I mean,
Speaker 1: And don't tell you that the George forming grill. I
Speaker 1: know we've been there, done that, had it. I wasn't
Speaker 1: gonna tell you about that, not you know, I'm talking
Speaker 1: about the slices. Yeah, well, yeah, they're not. You know,
Speaker 1: I have an idea for tomorrow's meal. So you don't
Speaker 1: stink up the whole house. Why don't you prep some
Speaker 1: chicken breasts, roll them in your coat sleeves and you'll
Speaker 1: get the garlic smell, will be ready to go. You
Speaker 1: don't have to add me more garlic. It's perfect. You
Speaker 1: just rub them up on the sleeves. Some people have
Speaker 1: sensitive noses. I came to work today with that jacket
Speaker 1: on from the onions from last night Scotty b from
Speaker 1: our big show spot like right away, it was like
Speaker 1: follow his nose. It always knows like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: scary reeks. So whatever, I don't know, I just did.
Speaker 1: There's no solution for me. I don't live in a
Speaker 1: big house. Sorry, that's it. And you can washer and
Speaker 1: dryers in the basement. No, it's it's in the closet
Speaker 1: right here, next to next your apartment. Okay, you could have.
Speaker 1: You could have, you know, rinsed off the jacket Washington,
Speaker 1: who cleans jackets on their own. If I'd smelled like
Speaker 1: onions and garlic, I would to send it. Let them
Speaker 1: handle it and handle it. They're gonna charge you extra
Speaker 1: for stink. You know that, dude, All the money I
Speaker 1: spent on this equipment and squandered all that, you know, Okay,
Speaker 1: I could, I could could. Before we get to the equipment,
Speaker 1: I bought one two. I want to say three, Hold
Speaker 1: on one two. I thought it was three new things.
Speaker 1: I'll say two new things from my my basement set
Speaker 1: up here, and one of them I was able to
Speaker 1: expense for work, so I really only paid so last
Speaker 1: week I talked about the shitty headphone cable I had
Speaker 1: so h just at that moment we lose Brody. How
Speaker 1: classic is that. It sounds like you're in a worse
Speaker 1: position than you were in last week because you just
Speaker 1: disconnected the whole thing. Holy sh it. This guy, I
Speaker 1: swear to God, was that Are you doing a bit?
Speaker 1: I wonder if he's doing a bit because he's not
Speaker 1: connected at all. He's totally gone. Actually the line is connected,
Speaker 1: but he unplugged his mic. Somehow something fell on his head.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I see him trying to log back in.
Speaker 1: He did something really fucked up. Anyway, Um, in the meantime,
Speaker 1: you could email us at the Brooklyn Boys Podcast at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. We're gonna read to the email a
Speaker 1: little while, and we have some things to get to.
Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about, Oh look at you. Let
Speaker 1: me let me tell you. I was vamping. You know,
Speaker 1: we called it damping. I heard you. I uh, but
Speaker 1: just irony. That was irony. No, I would see what
Speaker 1: was in the middle of a sense. What I just
Speaker 1: did now was irony and coincidence. And I just pulled
Speaker 1: off the double I'll tell you why. I was in
Speaker 1: the process of telling you about the new cable I
Speaker 1: got from my microphone, and my had my uh my headphones,
Speaker 1: and I was telling you about my new set up here,
Speaker 1: and so coincidentally, at the same time as I was
Speaker 1: telling you my I knocked my phone off the little
Speaker 1: table here and it landed on the bottom of the cable,
Speaker 1: not the headphone cable, but the cable that connects to
Speaker 1: the headphone to the microphone. And once you unplug the microphone,
Speaker 1: it kills the connection. Even if you plug it back in,
Speaker 1: you have to reset the connection. So that the irony
Speaker 1: was it happened while I was talking specifically about my
Speaker 1: new system. I said, this is classic, this is great.
Speaker 1: That first I was doing you were doing a bit.
Speaker 1: It was so perfectly placed. No, I when I did it,
Speaker 1: I went, oh, I get that's fun. Oh shit, I
Speaker 1: really did it, so uh no, yes, So that's what happened.
Speaker 1: So I got a docking station from my laptop so
Speaker 1: that the laptop now clicks into this, and then I
Speaker 1: plugged the cables into that, so I have instant everything
Speaker 1: set up with that and go with that. Right. So
Speaker 1: I got that and that was expensed because it's a
Speaker 1: it's a a work expense. And because I'm used in
Speaker 1: the company laptop and then the headphone cable last week
Speaker 1: was terrible. I returned that one to Amazon. I found
Speaker 1: the Monster cable that I needed for the Monster heaphone,
Speaker 1: and I got that from Amazon as well. Amazon great company,
Speaker 1: as far as like when you need something, great shipping
Speaker 1: all of that stuff. Right, it's the word I've talked about.
Speaker 1: This the absolute worst search engine in the world. You
Speaker 1: can put in Monster headphone cable and it will show
Speaker 1: you Monster's energy drink, right, Monster Energy Drink. It will
Speaker 1: show you monster stuffed animals, It'll show you cables, it'll
Speaker 1: show your headphones. But you can put in in parentheses
Speaker 1: or quotes, it doesn't matter. It will not search for
Speaker 1: what you want, just what you want. If you put
Speaker 1: in blue USB three cable, it doesn't. It gives you
Speaker 1: whatever it wants because it was like, he'll probably buy
Speaker 1: something else, even if we're given the wrong ship. It's
Speaker 1: the worst search engine imaginable. But once you like dig
Speaker 1: and dig and dig and find the right combination of
Speaker 1: words and arch for it does nothing. If you search right.
Speaker 1: Let's say you search for something and it gives you
Speaker 1: a hundred seventy five results. Okay, then you said, I
Speaker 1: want to search only four stars. Four stars are better reviews,
Speaker 1: and then it gives you a hundred one hundred one results.
Speaker 1: So then you say, okay, you know what, I want
Speaker 1: to price them low to high. Now I already have
Speaker 1: my hundred one results. I want to price those hundred
Speaker 1: one results load of high. When you sort by load
Speaker 1: of high, all of a sudden you have forty results?
Speaker 1: What's that? Like? Where's the rest of them? Right? Where's
Speaker 1: the rest of them? It you feel like you're you're
Speaker 1: you're being cheated or you you can't do you can't
Speaker 1: do multiple settings, multiple filters. And I think that when
Speaker 1: they when you get the rating and the price and
Speaker 1: you put them both in, they don't want you to
Speaker 1: buy certain things, like they don't want you to buy
Speaker 1: the cheap good ones show. Yeah, it's just Camboni, is
Speaker 1: what it is. They want you to buy the expensive
Speaker 1: ones with the high rating. So that's what I think.
Speaker 1: That's what you think. Yeah, So I was telling you, Uh,
Speaker 1: I think I was going from my phone because I
Speaker 1: did we mentioned Scamboni. Did I say Scamboni? Right? And
Speaker 1: just now you did. I did, yeah, but I had
Speaker 1: a I have a scamboni for today's show. So there
Speaker 1: you go. We'll get to that in a second. I
Speaker 1: guess um, you know, I I'm really reeling from my
Speaker 1: an Instagram post I made a couple of days ago.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm about to pull out another jingle we
Speaker 1: haven't heard in a long time. It's this one. It's
Speaker 1: snow and it is January. Brodie. Oh yeah, have a
Speaker 1: snow flight. Oh yes, I do. Lettics no lettics, no lettics. No.
Speaker 1: We have a snowflake or two who arrived on my
Speaker 1: Instagram the other day. I posted a video. Now we're
Speaker 1: all familiar with those cakes, those designer cakes that people
Speaker 1: make that look like that looks so lifelike, you know,
Speaker 1: they look exactly like the thing, and a lot of
Speaker 1: times you get psyched out and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: the person cuts it and it's a piece of cake.
Speaker 1: So there was If you look at my Instagram, Brodie,
Speaker 1: and you tell me what kind of dog that is,
Speaker 1: there's a video of a dog, a white dog, and
Speaker 1: it's I guess uh, it's the one that gets all wrinkly,
Speaker 1: the wrinkled dog, the sharp past sharpey. It was a
Speaker 1: sharp brown though, well whatever it is, it was a
Speaker 1: white dog. And take a look. The only white sharp
Speaker 1: pay was in high school musical Okay, anyway, you don't
Speaker 1: get that, but anyway, yeah, so so if you look,
Speaker 1: if you look at the video and it's a it's
Speaker 1: a bulldog. It's a bulldog. I don't know my breeds
Speaker 1: of dogs. Come on, don't funk with me, come on, stop. Anyway,
Speaker 1: the dog was there, it was it was like it
Speaker 1: was a but it was a cake. Right, So, so
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, the first opening shot, as you
Speaker 1: see a person or you say, you see a knife
Speaker 1: slicing down the middle of its face ace and then
Speaker 1: you see being cut across and then it pulls out
Speaker 1: the cake. Really, it pulls it out really quickly. You realize,
Speaker 1: oh my god, it's not a real dog. It's a cake.
Speaker 1: Ha ha. I've been fooled again, like I have a
Speaker 1: million times on these freaking videos. Right, But then it
Speaker 1: cuts to a real live dog that is witnessing this
Speaker 1: entire fright. And then dog's eyes is balding out of
Speaker 1: its head like wing like literally cartoonish like me. Next
Speaker 1: it was so fucking funny. But yet Brodie reiterate, I
Speaker 1: had fucking snowflakes on my fucking feet. Oh, how could
Speaker 1: you do that. That's terrible, it's awful. It looks so real.
Speaker 1: I can't believe it. There's something that's not a right
Speaker 1: about this. And some of these people I actually deleted
Speaker 1: other others I went back and I'm like, are you serious?
Speaker 1: It's only cake? And then I can't take it's just
Speaker 1: there's it's so right. And they weren't saying, oh, that's
Speaker 1: wrong and laughing. They were saying it's wrong, take it down, um,
Speaker 1: because they were fooled into thinking was it's so lifelike.
Speaker 1: That's not a that's not a reason. That's not a reason.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's it's fucking cake. At the end
Speaker 1: of day, it's a cake. Okay, they're not taking a
Speaker 1: knife to a real dog. It is a very real
Speaker 1: looking dog. It's a very real looking dog. But your
Speaker 1: mind is playing a trick on you. And once you realize, oh,
Speaker 1: it's cake. And then the funny part at the end
Speaker 1: where the real dog is like watching like with their
Speaker 1: eyes bulging out of their head, it's hysterical. I it's
Speaker 1: it's frightening, it's jolting and then hilarious at the same time.
Speaker 1: But don't come at me with because say, oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's so wrong that you posted that. You know that's
Speaker 1: harming dogs. It's not. It's not real people. How do
Speaker 1: people immerse themselves? There was an article and then I
Speaker 1: think it was the New York Post yesterday neighbors complained
Speaker 1: that that a man was barbecuing. Now there's really no
Speaker 1: good answer to this. They're trying to figure out if
Speaker 1: he was barbecuing a dog or a coyote. Neither is legal, apparently, No,
Speaker 1: that's what That's what they were they were looking into.
Speaker 1: But that's real. This is this is a sharp pay
Speaker 1: that happens to look lifelike. But it's a cake or
Speaker 1: a sharp whatever the hell it is. A bulldog. I
Speaker 1: don't even know what it's a bull French bulldog. Maybe
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. But why do people so
Speaker 1: fucking but heard about this ship. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: I can't figure people. I can't. Everyone's offended by everything
Speaker 1: you know that you know, and they take it too seriously.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna get into what I posted. I posted
Speaker 1: something that was an obvious joke yesterday maybe the day before,
Speaker 1: and somebody got me back and they're like, that's not funny.
Speaker 1: How could you joke about that? Or and then one
Speaker 1: person said that's not accurate, and I said, it's a joke.
Speaker 1: It's it's clearly, it doesn't have to be accurate. It's
Speaker 1: a joke. It's a freaking it is. They thought it
Speaker 1: was serious, they thought it was real, so like, that's
Speaker 1: not you know, and it wasn't a follower of mine.
Speaker 1: I it was a trending topic, I think, and so
Speaker 1: that you know, the trolls they hit the trending topics
Speaker 1: and they want to comment and everything. So I did
Speaker 1: want to talk about a scamboni, but I have to
Speaker 1: try remember what the scamboni was, alright, because um, Kathy
Speaker 1: Volan broke b R O E K catbird six to five.
Speaker 1: I said something about a scamboni and she said, what's
Speaker 1: a scamboni? So I said, obviously it was a Brooklyn boy.
Speaker 1: She said, I knew that was coming. Not every day
Speaker 1: when unable to at work, I catch a few, you know,
Speaker 1: each day. So she's way behind. Um, so I said,
Speaker 1: well you need to catch up. I said, easy, to
Speaker 1: tell you what a scamboni is. You'll you'll hear it
Speaker 1: when we get up to it. But the first full
Speaker 1: letters are scam and then the bony part is the
Speaker 1: Brooklyn eyed version of scam. It's like it's a scam
Speaker 1: Marino skim run. No, you know, it's like scam. It
Speaker 1: sounds like pasta. It sounds like you and get a
Speaker 1: scam boning. It sounds like right, like a strombol or
Speaker 1: strombo or Kyle's yeah, right exactly. That's why that's why
Speaker 1: we did it. Did she get it after you explained it? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: she was fine. Um uh, you know, I wish I
Speaker 1: had the sound to this, but uh god, you got
Speaker 1: the sound I wanted, right that sound you wanted, Yes,
Speaker 1: I have, But scamboni jingle ready after this because I
Speaker 1: know what Garrett Garrett uh from our Big show. He
Speaker 1: was talking about Punksitani Phil the groundhog, the famous groundhog
Speaker 1: that lives in a library. How do you sleep? How
Speaker 1: do you sleep? After this? I would be his hand,
Speaker 1: the handler to punc Sitani Phil the groundhog is making
Speaker 1: money off of the groundhogs bones on cameo. You know,
Speaker 1: cameo is the personalized greetings greetings. Yeah, so you can
Speaker 1: pay most celebrities a certain amount of money, right, people celebrity,
Speaker 1: like if they're all I don't know if ed Shearing's
Speaker 1: on it or not, but I'm saying ed Sheering right.
Speaker 1: If Ed Shearon was on it, you pay Ed Sheeron,
Speaker 1: let's say a thousand dollars and he'd say, hello, Maria,
Speaker 1: your friend John wanted me to wish you a happy birthday.
Speaker 1: It's Ed Sheering. You're paying them for greetings, right, thank you,
Speaker 1: so thank you, beautiful Ed Sheering. So it's probably more
Speaker 1: like the Beatles. I think it's more like a Beatle's English.
Speaker 1: I was a little bit hell hello, hello mate, Hello,
Speaker 1: hello mate, as opposed to like Harry Potter. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm bad with accents like what were you doing? I
Speaker 1: don't know. It sounds like you're doing like an Irish
Speaker 1: top of them autem and yeah, I'm bad with that ship.
Speaker 1: That's why I don't go there. You don't hear you,
Speaker 1: You'll never hear me. Really try accents like that on
Speaker 1: this phone taps you do on phone taps? Yeah, but
Speaker 1: they were because your Italian sounds Mexican and your Indians
Speaker 1: sounds Italian dobe, they're not real there. I just I
Speaker 1: don't know. I'm bad, right. So my point on this
Speaker 1: is is is puncitani Phil, it's his freaking it's his life.
Speaker 1: This handler just picked up this freaking thing and says, ha,
Speaker 1: I'm the handler and he's making all this money. He's
Speaker 1: making bank by doing video greetings, saying oh, so he's
Speaker 1: there with him. The groundhog is right, that was my
Speaker 1: next question. But I'm gonna find myself a chipmunk, not
Speaker 1: a chipmunk, a groundhog hog. Yeah, and I'll do it.
Speaker 1: I'll say, yeah, I'm a booksta fills backup trainer. I
Speaker 1: just don't think right to do that to make this money.
Speaker 1: I mean, who is he? You know? You know what.
Speaker 1: Here's what I'm gonna say, and then this will solve
Speaker 1: your First of all, you're upset because he makes more
Speaker 1: than you for a cameo. Well he's charging eight, right,
Speaker 1: which is more than you charge. At the moment, you're
Speaker 1: gonna you're gonna raise your rates. By the way, I'm offline,
Speaker 1: by the way, I decided to uh yeah, because I'm
Speaker 1: getting emails they want me to sign up for the
Speaker 1: big Valentine's Day push coming up. Yeah, I've been getting
Speaker 1: those emails to hit the ignore button. I'm gonna get
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you a word of advice. Guys, ladies.
Speaker 1: You also, if either one of you, let's say, wants
Speaker 1: to pay me for a Valentine's Day greeting for your
Speaker 1: loved one, you might not need a gift next Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1: That's not a gift that's gonna keep your relationship going.
Speaker 1: Oh you sent me a brody Valentine's say, Hey, Roses
Speaker 1: Red Violence of Blue, I'm Brody from the Brooklyn Boys
Speaker 1: and this has all he got you Valentine's Day, Right,
Speaker 1: That's that's not yours. And I'm not I'm not look,
Speaker 1: i'm not. I'm not helping myself make money here. I'm
Speaker 1: just being honest. I'm just being honest. Well, I'm just
Speaker 1: being honest that I think I think these are Scamboni's
Speaker 1: a lot of them. Like but if you're someone if
Speaker 1: but if you're someone who's hiring of all the celebrities,
Speaker 1: and there's thousands of a list celebrities, a lot of
Speaker 1: people people like me and scary, Uh, that's corect Grammer
Speaker 1: who are like f G level celebrities Uh, you can
Speaker 1: get anybody. You're gonna have the trainer for Pus and
Speaker 1: Tony Phil. That's like, oh, the guy who drew a
Speaker 1: cartoon you like, right, Like, oh, he was an animator
Speaker 1: on finding Nemo. I want to go. No, you don't,
Speaker 1: don't pay him? Yeah, And if he's holding a drawing
Speaker 1: of Nemo, are you gonna pay for it? That's the
Speaker 1: same as Puck to Phil. That's he's holding a groundhog allegedly, listen,
Speaker 1: Puks Tony Phil. Those things don't last very long. They
Speaker 1: die every couple of right, so why would anyone It's
Speaker 1: always a different, it's a different And it's like Lassie
Speaker 1: the Dog. Lassie they been making last Sie movies don't
Speaker 1: make it any more, but they made lasting movies for
Speaker 1: like forty years. And yeah, and not like it's not
Speaker 1: the groundhog is actually gonna just miraculously talk. I mean
Speaker 1: that i'd pay double for if anything. Worse than paying
Speaker 1: for that is showing your friends look look like I
Speaker 1: paid eighty dollars and I got my girlfriend a greeting
Speaker 1: from the trainer. The trainer, Hey, guess what if the
Speaker 1: groundhog sees its shadow, It's six more years of you
Speaker 1: being a loser living in your mom's house. That's right,
Speaker 1: That's what that means. Could have had Michael Jordan, could
Speaker 1: have had Floyd Midweather. You're not getting Floyd bad Weather
Speaker 1: is a thousand. He's on there. Yeah, okay, so you
Speaker 1: Wethers a thousand, yeah, then you know, yeah, probably he's
Speaker 1: not on there. I got, I got, I got two
Speaker 1: scambonies for you. I can throw a scam for you.
Speaker 1: So I am currently in the market for a new
Speaker 1: washing machine, okay, and I have an off shoot story
Speaker 1: coming off the washing machine story. So, um, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: pull that up because that's that's big. I'm gonna pull
Speaker 1: up my my, my scamboni and a washing machine. Um,
Speaker 1: and so I it's it's it's stops sometimes in the
Speaker 1: middle of the wash, and so there's something that's it
Speaker 1: can't be fixed. It says there's too many SuDS, but
Speaker 1: there's no SuDS and you have to like put it
Speaker 1: rense cycle and it's fine. So every once in a
Speaker 1: while you think your wash is done and it's not. Okay,
Speaker 1: So of course I call it. This is not not
Speaker 1: a sponsor. I call our friends at PC Richard's son
Speaker 1: and hey, guys, you gotta sail on on Washington drawers. Um,
Speaker 1: you know, what do you recommend? And they sent me
Speaker 1: a couple of they recommended a couple of items, and uh,
Speaker 1: you know, they usually do right by me. They might
Speaker 1: they might throw me free shipping, you know, like delivery,
Speaker 1: you know, because deliveries money and then free shipping. Free
Speaker 1: shipping closes deals all the time. I've learned that that
Speaker 1: people hear that and their ears perk up and like, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm in right, yeah right. It's like, look, we'll give
Speaker 1: you free delivery because they do us a favor because
Speaker 1: they used to advertise with the morning show and we've
Speaker 1: made friends with a lot of the guys over there.
Speaker 1: Not like, you know what, we'll give you free delivery
Speaker 1: and free hook up. You may be saving me fifty bucks.
Speaker 1: And so I shopped there because they have a great assortment.
Speaker 1: I love them. This isn't a commercial anyway. So I
Speaker 1: went to look at the at one of the models
Speaker 1: that I was interested in. I wanted to look like
Speaker 1: rather than just buy it offline. I was right near
Speaker 1: one of the stores near my house. I went into
Speaker 1: Go Right Sales. Guys helped me. They showed me the
Speaker 1: model and uh, the price was I want to say
Speaker 1: six eighty. It was something like six eighty. You follow
Speaker 1: me so far? I okay. So on my way home,
Speaker 1: I had to do a couple of returns at home Depot,
Speaker 1: which is not far from where I was. So I
Speaker 1: go to home Depot to do the returns, and my
Speaker 1: wife wanted a light for the grill. We have a
Speaker 1: grill so the onion stink stays outside. So I'm looking
Speaker 1: for the grill light and I said, you know what,
Speaker 1: they have a washro and drying department here. I know
Speaker 1: I'm going to get a better price at PC Richard.
Speaker 1: But let me see what the same washer and dryer.
Speaker 1: The washer is at home Depot, so I see it.
Speaker 1: It's right by the front, the same model that I want. Considerably.
Speaker 1: It was five okay, so I'm like, whoa wa, this
Speaker 1: is great. It's got a yellow it's his clearance. So
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, they're discontinuing this model. This is great.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry it was six six it was at PC Richard. Sorry. Um,
Speaker 1: and so it's five forty so I'm like, that's eighty
Speaker 1: dollars right. That doesn't not look PC original match it.
Speaker 1: I'm not right about that. So I'm looking. I'm going wow,
Speaker 1: I said, So, I said, excuse me, call the salesperson over.
Speaker 1: I said, this is five forty. Yeah, I said, is
Speaker 1: this model discontinued? It's on clearance. This is great. How
Speaker 1: much is delivery figuring? If I'm getting free delivery at
Speaker 1: six whatever, twenty whatever? I said six? When I say, right,
Speaker 1: I see how much delivery is. It may be almost
Speaker 1: the same price. So the guy says, oh, there's no
Speaker 1: delivery on that what uh? He says, it's clearance. I said,
Speaker 1: but but but but he says, no, it's only free
Speaker 1: delivery if you get it from the factory. We're selling
Speaker 1: that one right there. So I said, so, how would
Speaker 1: I get at home? I don't know. That's the scam
Speaker 1: right there? Would you guys hook it up? No, nope,
Speaker 1: we don't deliver or hook up the U the floor model.
Speaker 1: You know they do that. They'll deliver anything, anytime, anywhere.
Speaker 1: Right again, not a commerce commercial. I'm not a commercial
Speaker 1: sponsor myself. We're not getting paid for this. Now. I
Speaker 1: gotta rent the truck. So yeah, for five forty, I
Speaker 1: can rent the truck somehow, find someone to help me
Speaker 1: with it. Every time the truck, get it into my house,
Speaker 1: down the steps, hook it up myself. Five forty five forty?
Speaker 1: Who's that price for Joe Plumber? Like, Hey, I'm Joe Plumber.
Speaker 1: I'm taking half of five forty. Who's buying that? Now?
Speaker 1: Somebody listening, what do you slices? Like I gotta f
Speaker 1: one fifty and a ramp and I was rubbing that
Speaker 1: right up. I got it. I'm not that guy. I
Speaker 1: admire you if you're the guy that's got the truck
Speaker 1: and the ramp and the lift and the cables and
Speaker 1: the back brace and all that that's beautiful, and the
Speaker 1: hand truck when you get home. I don't have any
Speaker 1: of that. So now we'll come to Grand. Doesn't come
Speaker 1: now looking at the Grand to get to get all
Speaker 1: this stuff and the wheels and the roll and the
Speaker 1: Please tell me you went in and you you canceled
Speaker 1: the order or you didn't you didn't buy it and
Speaker 1: you went back to our friends at PC. Oh, of
Speaker 1: course I'm buying it a PC. I was gonna say.
Speaker 1: I mean, there's I was only looking to see because
Speaker 1: I wanted to see how much money I was saving.
Speaker 1: Now the full price on that washing machine the one
Speaker 1: that's that's six twenty was six eight nine. It was
Speaker 1: like more but the clearance one. I was like five forty.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'll take it right. Oh no, no,
Speaker 1: that's to me, that's a that's a scamboni, right, it
Speaker 1: is a. It wasn't. Did you just hit the wrong
Speaker 1: jingle the wrong I was on the wrong sound bank.
Speaker 1: We suck, but I one. Now I feel like I
Speaker 1: owe a scary inappropriate because I played them. Don't slip
Speaker 1: it in yet. I got another scamboni. Um. So my
Speaker 1: doctor recommended I take probiotics, right because I was having
Speaker 1: an upset stomach. He's like, you should take probiotics. Here,
Speaker 1: that up for you. So I go to Walgreens. You
Speaker 1: know where we're forced to go. Now, yes, we know
Speaker 1: that one the scam, the major scamboni right, Okay, So
Speaker 1: I say to the woman, Uh, listen, I need probiotics,
Speaker 1: like a line or something, right, That's what my doctor
Speaker 1: said to get It was either a line or something else.
Speaker 1: It was two different companies. She's, oh, we we have
Speaker 1: a line. I get. So when you go to the
Speaker 1: drive through at Walgreens, if you want one thing, they'll
Speaker 1: run into the store for you grab it and then
Speaker 1: give it to you the drive through. This is the
Speaker 1: drive through, by the way. We had all the problems
Speaker 1: that I've talked about before. So I said the woman,
Speaker 1: can you get me what just do you want the generic?
Speaker 1: What do you want the name brand? I said, well,
Speaker 1: if the generic is is a lot less, that's fine,
Speaker 1: but if you know, let me know. So she comes
Speaker 1: back and she says, oh, uh, I got you the
Speaker 1: name brand. The line it was twenty two dollars, but
Speaker 1: the generic was only twenty one, and I figured for
Speaker 1: a dollar more, you'd want the name brand, I said.
Speaker 1: I said, oh all right, no, no, that's fine for
Speaker 1: dollar all right, I'm gonna I'm I'm not gonna get
Speaker 1: out of there. She to me the favor for a dollar.
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, I get the name brand. Not a problem.
Speaker 1: So I get home and it was scary for fourteen pills. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: so you gotta take uh to a day. The doctor
Speaker 1: had me on. So I got a week out of
Speaker 1: it roughly right. Okay. So after the week is up,
Speaker 1: I'm still not feeling regular. So I called my doctor.
Speaker 1: He says, you need you need to stay on there.
Speaker 1: On the probiotics another couple of weeks, so I go
Speaker 1: back to Walgreens popping placebos there. What were you doing there, Bertie? No,
Speaker 1: so I go. I go back to the Walgreens a
Speaker 1: couple of days later, and I'm in the store this time,
Speaker 1: so I'm not in the drive too. I had to
Speaker 1: go in the store for something, and I look at
Speaker 1: the probiotic. It's twenty two dollars for fourteen pills. It's
Speaker 1: a lot of money. And I see the knockoff the
Speaker 1: Walgreen's name brand in the orange box is twenty one dollars,
Speaker 1: just like she said, except for one I get one pills.
Speaker 1: Oh really, yeah, so it wasn't one dollar more, it
Speaker 1: was one dollar more and seven dollars less. Seven. Now
Speaker 1: they got to be back in the store after fourteen
Speaker 1: pills when I could have gotten twenty one dollar lest
Speaker 1: double check it. You didn't double check it because you
Speaker 1: were because it was continued, so PESHI said, in uh
Speaker 1: lethal weapon. They fuck get the drive, drove the drive always.
Speaker 1: They always fun that right there is why I refuse
Speaker 1: to insta cart and and all these companies coming to
Speaker 1: my house shopping the groceries for me. They will never
Speaker 1: ever do as good or a thorough job as I
Speaker 1: would in person. We've talked about this in this podcast,
Speaker 1: to where they don't where they don't give you the
Speaker 1: freshest stuff. They just grab us up front. You know
Speaker 1: you got to reach in the back because that's the
Speaker 1: stuff that's the freshest, right, And they packed from back
Speaker 1: to front, and you know damn well that they're not
Speaker 1: shopping for your best interest. Guess what it needs to
Speaker 1: car person would have given me the same freaking pills
Speaker 1: that you got, absolute fucking lutely. Yeah, all right, we
Speaker 1: got one more quick break. Okay, right after this, right
Speaker 1: after this, right after this, no this, or you can
Speaker 1: go with this, or you can go with that. Well
Speaker 1: this scary. Have you ever used a shipping calculator online?
Speaker 1: A shipping calculatory calculator? Of course? Yeah, it's always in
Speaker 1: its usually on the site. Yeah all right. So my
Speaker 1: wife sells something and she wants to ship it. She
Speaker 1: selld it on on Facebook to an out state resident
Speaker 1: and she says, uh, ship my pants ships? Can you
Speaker 1: can you box it up? Take it over to the
Speaker 1: ups store? I said, sure, says you know what, let
Speaker 1: me check, let me check all the prices. Let me
Speaker 1: see UPS because it was going to um uh, Washington State,
Speaker 1: so cross the country from New Jersey. Right, She's let
Speaker 1: me see who has the cheapest rates. So she goes
Speaker 1: on online. She does the FedEx, UPS USPS and she says,
Speaker 1: all right, UPS is the cheapest. Okay, I measured the
Speaker 1: box one by nine by five. It's uh four point
Speaker 1: two pounds whatever comes out that the shipping was, I
Speaker 1: want to say sixteen and change. Uh, USPS was eighteen
Speaker 1: and FedEx was nineteen. Give a take. So UPS is
Speaker 1: the cheapest. It's it's sixteen dollars and change. So I
Speaker 1: go in with the box. I showed them the address,
Speaker 1: she says, she puts it in TOPS in the address
Speaker 1: and change. I said, there must be a mistake. I
Speaker 1: used your online shipping calculator and uh it said sixteen
Speaker 1: and change. So there must be a mistake. She says,
Speaker 1: you use the UPS shipping calculator. Well, yeah, that's what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about. Why would I use like Mike's shipping calculator.
Speaker 1: I used UPS shipping calculator. She oh, did you use
Speaker 1: the UPS smart shipping calculator on the website. Yeah? Yeah.
Speaker 1: Now now I'm feeling good now, feeling like, yeah, I've
Speaker 1: answered your questions. I did what you wanted. I in
Speaker 1: fact used the smart shipping calculator. Just oh that's the problem.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Yeah, that's corporate and their prices are different.
Speaker 1: I don't know why why are they showing I said,
Speaker 1: what are you a franchise? What what do you It
Speaker 1: wasn't like, you know, like those Verizon stores. It's like
Speaker 1: Joe's Electronics and it has a Verizon sign on it.
Speaker 1: Of course they paid to me there, right, but there
Speaker 1: were actual Verizon stores. And when you go into those
Speaker 1: fake Verizon stores, got your phone right as your phone
Speaker 1: about No, aren't they do you want an accessory? You
Speaker 1: want to call charger? Yeah, at your phone because they're
Speaker 1: just a franchise or they just bought the logo and
Speaker 1: name and it's it's legal, but they get to run
Speaker 1: their own local deals and yeah, so you're Alexei's Alexei Cellular.
Speaker 1: So they calculators. There's two shipping calculators in the same sho.
Speaker 1: I said, I saw, I said to I go, So
Speaker 1: I said, well, how smart is the smart shipping calculator?
Speaker 1: If it isn't smart enough to give me the right price.
Speaker 1: Sounds like pretty stupid to me. Yeah. So she looks
Speaker 1: at me like she doesn't understand, like she doesn't get
Speaker 1: the joke. I'm trying to be sarcastically annoying. She didn't
Speaker 1: get the joke. She just got the annoying. So I said, well,
Speaker 1: why would I pay five dollars more? Why is your
Speaker 1: website off? Yeah? I really don't know. So I said,
Speaker 1: how do I know you're not checking up the price?
Speaker 1: How do I know you're not checking up the scale?
Speaker 1: You don't know that. I don't know any of that.
Speaker 1: You're flying here? Yeah, so I did. My wife is
Speaker 1: texting me, I gotta go good, I did, I gotta go,
Speaker 1: I gotta go. You what is the purpose of having
Speaker 1: an online calculator? I didn't like. They didn't say what
Speaker 1: size of the package, and I said, it's approximately. What
Speaker 1: is the way it could be? I wait, I have
Speaker 1: a I have a male scale. I'm not guessing the
Speaker 1: gender of my scale. It could be a female scale.
Speaker 1: I don't know. So I waited. I waited the posted scale.
Speaker 1: I put the thing on. I measure with an actual
Speaker 1: tape measure right New York Jets tape measure that maybe
Speaker 1: why it was wrong. I don't know. It can't be
Speaker 1: you know, can't be too careful and I bring, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: it's five dollars more. You're talking about a thirty percent
Speaker 1: roughly difference. That's almost a third more. That's crapf you
Speaker 1: fu ups store and you swat shipping calculates it fu
Speaker 1: ups or f ups f You know what I can
Speaker 1: overlap them? I could. I could do like logo where
Speaker 1: the whether you is yeahs fops, Well, like FedEx like
Speaker 1: it's fucking fucking ed x. You can't like funk at x.
Speaker 1: You can't do that fun FedEx FedEx FedEx Yeah, and
Speaker 1: then uh fastus would be fun usps. Who's texting you?
Speaker 1: You gotta be fucking kidding me. Oh my god, it happened.
Speaker 1: It happened again. No, no, Brodie, this is gonna fucking
Speaker 1: burn you two. Everything burns me. Okay, it's Girl Scout
Speaker 1: Cookie season. Nope, here it comes. You mentioned this on
Speaker 1: the Big Show today, and people have been sliding into
Speaker 1: my d m s. Not just kids, not kids, moms
Speaker 1: of kids saying my daughter, here's they They lead with
Speaker 1: my daughter is selling your daughter, then have your daughter
Speaker 1: sell it. But you are selling it to me right now,
Speaker 1: so and then so now because you can't you know,
Speaker 1: visit each other in person very much. Right, So they're
Speaker 1: putting they're just throwing the link out there. All they're
Speaker 1: doing is spreading around the link for the corporate uh
Speaker 1: you know Girl Scout website. Of course, maybe the troop
Speaker 1: gets I think the troops. You put the number in whatever,
Speaker 1: did you know how much for a five dollar box
Speaker 1: of cookies? The troop gets fifty cents a box, all right,
Speaker 1: So that's the first that's another scamboni right there. The
Speaker 1: rest goes to Girl Scouts of America. It's corporation, it's
Speaker 1: a business. Uh, it's not all the same price, no,
Speaker 1: I know. But they only made fifties seventy cents the
Speaker 1: local troop, does you know? Now, I'm seventy cents. Leave
Speaker 1: me alone and don't sell cookies in January when everyone's
Speaker 1: trying to lose weight. Terrible time, terrible time. Sell me
Speaker 1: the cookies in November when I'm shoving food in my
Speaker 1: mouth left and right. Yeah, bad planning. No one knows
Speaker 1: the market, that's terrible market. First quarter of scary is
Speaker 1: not buying and I'm not even looking at Girl Scout cookies,
Speaker 1: fourth quart of scary, back the truck off. But this
Speaker 1: is a new level. Where the truck was fourth quarter scary,
Speaker 1: not the cookies. But this is a new level of audacity.
Speaker 1: And that is people now group texting, not even get
Speaker 1: a private text. It's a group text where hey, so
Speaker 1: my daughter is selling Girl Scout cookies. Here's the form
Speaker 1: and it's just an online form. Here go to this site.
Speaker 1: But you mean it's it's there's no effort and it's
Speaker 1: a thirty at night. What did it takes? She put
Speaker 1: a group a group message together. She probably was like
Speaker 1: people in her contacts now, not relation on you to
Speaker 1: this person, just a third level friend. Uh more of
Speaker 1: I don't I don't want to offend this person. Oh god,
Speaker 1: it's somebody who works at the radio station in the alright, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what. You outed someone from the sales department
Speaker 1: a couple episodes ago. But you know I'm not going
Speaker 1: to add her this one here she says, like, could
Speaker 1: you help my daughter? Okay, if I could know, you
Speaker 1: know what, I want your daughter. I want your daughter
Speaker 1: to come here and ring my belly ring in the
Speaker 1: pandemic in the pandemic yeah, ring with you know, you
Speaker 1: put the effort in. Now buy your cookies. Here's what's worse.
Speaker 1: Remember engineered Jeff second quarterscery would like cookies, not first quarter. Uh,
Speaker 1: Engineer Jeff curmudgeon, grumpy uh, backbone of the radio station
Speaker 1: in New York. He runs it, fixes it, repairs it,
Speaker 1: corrects it. He keeps them up, flips it and rub it,
Speaker 1: rubs it down, and he reverses it's he puts your thing. No, no,
Speaker 1: that's different. I know I just tagged it on that.
Speaker 1: I just tagged it on. I was combined and I
Speaker 1: tagged it I tagged a tag team. Tag team back again. Continue.
Speaker 1: By the way, have you seen them in the mire?
Speaker 1: It is the commercial. Those guys have gained some weight
Speaker 1: they have they're making dessert. They both gained weight equally,
Speaker 1: so it's like they're both like flap team. If you
Speaker 1: don't know what we're talking about, it's a tag team.
Speaker 1: Woom there. It is a song from the nineties. Google
Speaker 1: it there in the new Geico commercial or whatever it was. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: cooking dinner and they're making dessert. Okay, anyway, going right,
Speaker 1: So Jeff, Jeff is a like he's kind of a
Speaker 1: grumpy guy, only like he's fun. He's like, yeah, what's broken? Now?
Speaker 1: What do you guys need? What do you guys mess up? Right?
Speaker 1: It's always like belligerent, okay, what was so important? But
Speaker 1: when his daughter was selling girls cuties, he come in
Speaker 1: with the big sales pitch. All right, guys, you got
Speaker 1: my cookies cookies and my daughter selling cookies. You know,
Speaker 1: he got me shifter and cheery. It wasn't like, hey, guys, listen,
Speaker 1: I need a favor. You know, my daughter's adorable. Here's
Speaker 1: a picture. He wasn't. He wasn't elated, he wasn't enthusiastic.
Speaker 1: He stopped putting in the effort. The little girls come in,
Speaker 1: they're like, hi, would you buy girl scout guies in me?
Speaker 1: You're like, all right, look fine. He's like, yeah, you're
Speaker 1: gonna buy some cookies and I might fix your control
Speaker 1: board death. All right, you want something to the best
Speaker 1: is passed and wrap has the sheet around. I'll be
Speaker 1: back later. Right, he would leave the sheet. He's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you want your your voice processing the work. You buy
Speaker 1: some docy does I'll be back then. I thought that
Speaker 1: was the worst sales pitch. But a group text message
Speaker 1: it doesn't get anything. That group text message. That's what
Speaker 1: this is. Hold on, I'm counting how many people are
Speaker 1: on here. It's gotta be at least fourteen fifteen people
Speaker 1: on this thing. Yeah, and uh, scary, you learned something
Speaker 1: yesterday about group text messages, didn't you? I did, all right,
Speaker 1: So check this UM so so users and I'm obviously
Speaker 1: an iPhone users and we are in a group chat
Speaker 1: on the morning show with like fourteen of us. We're
Speaker 1: buying lottery tickets. Holy crap. Hold on, let me I
Speaker 1: got a text scotty because I didn't send the money.
Speaker 1: So yeah, so tell the story I did. So anyway,
Speaker 1: I was responding, I wanted to send how did this go? Brodie?
Speaker 1: Because you ended up you ended up telling me the
Speaker 1: right way to do it on an android. Apparently from
Speaker 1: an android you could take You can say the same message,
Speaker 1: and you can send it to several different parties at
Speaker 1: the same time, but individual individually like blind copy, right,
Speaker 1: So I can send it a message to twenty people.
Speaker 1: Each of those people will get the message, but only
Speaker 1: to them. What was it that made you say, Hey, scary,
Speaker 1: you know you can do this? And I'm like, I
Speaker 1: can't I hate I hate being in group chats with
Speaker 1: iPhone people because they have, first of all, they have
Speaker 1: to apply to everybody. Even if it's not a question,
Speaker 1: everyone needs the answer to, right, just reply back to
Speaker 1: That's what a group chat is, Brodie. I understand that
Speaker 1: we're all in a virtual room together and we're all okay.
Speaker 1: And I'm not talking about this particular group, but a
Speaker 1: lot of times when you're in a group, the people
Speaker 1: will say, like, hey, um, who's watching this TV show tonight? Right?
Speaker 1: The whole room doesn't give a ship? Only one person
Speaker 1: asked the question. So text the guy back who asked
Speaker 1: the question. I am and be done with it. I
Speaker 1: don't need to know the other thirteen people what they're
Speaker 1: doing tonight. I don't give a ship. But what's worse
Speaker 1: is when you're an Android user, is when somebody happen
Speaker 1: likes a comment that, like we talked several times on
Speaker 1: this podcast, I don't want it right, So I said
Speaker 1: the scary dude, just why don't these people just write
Speaker 1: Scottie back? Why do they all have to like put
Speaker 1: thumbs up and check marks and hearts and everything. I
Speaker 1: don't like. My phone's going crazy. I'm driving in the
Speaker 1: call just right to get back. But one thing that
Speaker 1: I uncovered during this and I forgot what the scenario was,
Speaker 1: was that that was the scenario. Scenario was the scenario was.
Speaker 1: I responded back to the group when apparently you can
Speaker 1: tell you could text people. You could take the same
Speaker 1: message and send it to all these people individually, so
Speaker 1: you could start private chats right away. It's it's it's
Speaker 1: hard to explain. Really, I don't know. I don't understand
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like, Okay, something you can do Android.
Speaker 1: But Android has the option of you can send either
Speaker 1: a group text where everyone's in the group together, or
Speaker 1: you can send a mass text where each person gets
Speaker 1: it in. That's what I'm saying. I wanted to send
Speaker 1: a mass text individually, right, And you like the girl
Speaker 1: Scout text you just got if you want or if
Speaker 1: anyone replies back to that text message, we're all going
Speaker 1: to get Everyone is going to get that bullshit. Now
Speaker 1: you're gonna know that Mary's buying some you know, is
Speaker 1: the moment that Mary breaks off and gets in a
Speaker 1: private conversation, which you hope she's not gonna I always
Speaker 1: mentioned her name, right, You would think that to apply
Speaker 1: all people. It's to apply all people, but it depends.
Speaker 1: I mean, if you have a group chat with your
Speaker 1: friends going for the last two years, it's just like
Speaker 1: you're all hanging out in the room. I'm sitting on
Speaker 1: the couch, You're in the kitchen, the other guy's taking
Speaker 1: a dump in the bathroom, and we're all just kind
Speaker 1: of talking to each other. And and I may and
Speaker 1: I may not be talking to you, but I may
Speaker 1: be talking to my buddy j over here. And then
Speaker 1: but if you hear it, it's okay. You're still in
Speaker 1: the room and you have ears, so you're listening, so
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. I could still talk to Jay in
Speaker 1: front of you. That's what a group chat is. So
Speaker 1: you really shouldn't be offended by people passing comments around.
Speaker 1: It's only in the case where you just said, where
Speaker 1: send a mass text individually to each person so they
Speaker 1: all respond back to you privately. Right, that's the situation,
Speaker 1: And that makes sense for what you're saying. But you know,
Speaker 1: but you have to have an Android and you've got
Speaker 1: to point out that in five years this feature maybe
Speaker 1: coming to the ipace. Yes, And that's the reason why
Speaker 1: Apple covers your fucking face up. If you listen on
Speaker 1: Apple podcast, the logo is over my the logo, the
Speaker 1: Apple logo is on Brodie's face. And I'm fine with that.
Speaker 1: I'm fine with it. I don't I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: need my face. My voices makes the money for me. Uh.
Speaker 1: I just I just have I just something came up
Speaker 1: that that's hold on. Let me see what you wrote
Speaker 1: back and I'll tell you what's going on. Ye happening
Speaker 1: in the background. Okay, So Scotty on our show, we
Speaker 1: mentioned him earlier. He buys the lottery tickets for the
Speaker 1: power Ball and whatever. The other one is the Mega millions, right,
Speaker 1: and we've been chipping in for a week and a
Speaker 1: half now. Everybody chips in twenty dollars, right, but if
Speaker 1: anybody wins, that's twenty dollars. Times are fourteen of us
Speaker 1: or ten of us whatever it is, you're you're increasing
Speaker 1: the odds. So first of all, we're on the today
Speaker 1: talking about how we're all gonna chip in and you
Speaker 1: have to get the money before two o'clock to Scotty,
Speaker 1: and some of the money is in the pot. We're
Speaker 1: rolling it in. On a second, I'm gonna voice text
Speaker 1: to be you rolled in sixty four dollars of my money,
Speaker 1: so a couple of those tickets are mine or I'm
Speaker 1: in on a couple of them. Okay. He took the
Speaker 1: winnings from the last group, but you're not in on
Speaker 1: this group. Is that what you're saying? Okay? So I
Speaker 1: didn't get two o'clock today. I was glued to the
Speaker 1: television and then I had to run aarons what my
Speaker 1: kids and i'd stuff to do? I forgot okay. Um,
Speaker 1: So I just texted him and I said, is it
Speaker 1: too late to get in? Right? Because I don't know
Speaker 1: if he went yet. He probably went, but I was like,
Speaker 1: I'll just check. He said it's too late to get in.
Speaker 1: So I wrote back and I said, damn. Now I
Speaker 1: have to hope you'll lose. Yeah. Why why was he
Speaker 1: when you want you betting against him? Well? But I
Speaker 1: had so. So here's the thing, scary. Do I root
Speaker 1: for you guys to win and I'm fun because I
Speaker 1: didn't give the money, Or do I root for you
Speaker 1: guys to lose so that we're all back in it
Speaker 1: again for the next drawing, Because if you guys win,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be like suicidal I think I think the
Speaker 1: first I think the first way is because we're all
Speaker 1: gonna probably chip in and give you some kind of
Speaker 1: a We could do a pity fund for Brody. Yeah,
Speaker 1: pity fund. You'll all throw me a thousand dollars so
Speaker 1: I'll get I'll get ten thousand dollars instead of my
Speaker 1: like twenty million dollars share. That's not right, So am
Speaker 1: am I wrong? You understand what I'm saying. I have
Speaker 1: to root against you guys, But however, you do haven't
Speaker 1: in here? You do have? You have an argument because
Speaker 1: we took some of the winnings from the last round
Speaker 1: sixty and we rolled it in. So who's to say
Speaker 1: which would have been the winning ticket if we win tonight? Right,
Speaker 1: because you're part of that sixty four dollars some of
Speaker 1: that was your pay out, right, Hang on, second, hold on,
Speaker 1: So technically you need to take sixty four dollars worth
Speaker 1: of those tickets and separate them out. And I'm in
Speaker 1: on those. Take a picture of them now, right because
Speaker 1: that's my money. I'm actually I agree with you on that.
Speaker 1: So there you go. You're in. No, that's gonna be
Speaker 1: a problem tomorrow. Well, double topic, that's gonna be on
Speaker 1: the radio. We're gonna talk about this. By the time
Speaker 1: you hear this podcast, we will have already done a
Speaker 1: double topic. So the double topic is number one. Part
Speaker 1: of that money's mine, even though I didn't chip in
Speaker 1: an extra twenty uh a third a quarter of them,
Speaker 1: and I'm in on. I chipped in the sixty who's
Speaker 1: to say which He's gonna have to separate them ahead
Speaker 1: of time, right, I said, I said take a picture now,
Speaker 1: I said, take out sixty four dollars worth of tickets,
Speaker 1: take a picture of them, and I'm in on those.
Speaker 1: That's that's legitimate. It is, it is, it is, it's
Speaker 1: absolutely and you're you're within your you know you're right
Speaker 1: to do that. I'm not everybody. If everybody chipped in
Speaker 1: twenty dollars, right, let's say there's nine, that's one eight.
Speaker 1: If you had the sixties to forty so tickets, I'm
Speaker 1: in on. I'm gonna call him right now, by the way,
Speaker 1: that's a dick move, by the way, to him to
Speaker 1: tell you it's too late and shut you down. You're
Speaker 1: part of this office. Let's tell him. You want to
Speaker 1: yell at him, No, I want to tell him take
Speaker 1: it on the tomorrow. We'll get him on the phone
Speaker 1: right now. We'll get him on. I'll get him right
Speaker 1: on if he wants to talk on the phone. The
Speaker 1: last time he didn't answer. Okay, let's see if you will.
Speaker 1: I don't know he owes us. All right, we promote
Speaker 1: serial killers day and night, night and day. Why don't
Speaker 1: you promote that right now for us? Tom that's the
Speaker 1: serial killers. As I'm done dialing him, well, he can
Speaker 1: do it. I want him to hear the plug so
Speaker 1: he knows I'm plugging his podcast. Okay, if I plug
Speaker 1: it now, I don't get credit. He's not gonna hear it.
Speaker 1: Okay my credit. Yeah, you three point nine millions. By
Speaker 1: the way, you just spend another thousand dollars at least
Speaker 1: on that piece of equipment that's made for radio stations,
Speaker 1: your vox Pro system. You had to have it at home.
Speaker 1: I did. I did. And it needs to und needs
Speaker 1: to run windows though. Okay, what's your what's you're doing?
Speaker 1: It's like a mechanic buying a hydraulic lift for his
Speaker 1: garage at home. How do you feel lift cars up?
Speaker 1: How do you figure? Because you don't need this? This
Speaker 1: is this is radio equipment for a radio station. You
Speaker 1: just like being a dork at home and having all
Speaker 1: the gadgets. We do radio. This is what we do
Speaker 1: for a living. Yes, I do radio. I'm on a
Speaker 1: folding table, uh, an expense docking station and a nine
Speaker 1: dollar chord from Amazon and a microphone that Elvis born.
Speaker 1: But don't you want to I've talked about this on
Speaker 1: the last podcast. Don't you want to invest in your future?
Speaker 1: You're gonna be doing this from the future. My talent
Speaker 1: is my future. I don't need to get it fancy equipment. Okay,
Speaker 1: get him on the phone. He's not going to answer.
Speaker 1: He's not gonna answer. He's probably asleep. Maybe he's jerking off.
Speaker 1: He does a lot of that. Okay, Now my family's
Speaker 1: home is gonna be bloking. Of course he's not gonna
Speaker 1: answer now, so you jinxed it? All right? I told Hi,
Speaker 1: answer the phone. Are you calling him on the cell phone?
Speaker 1: He just had a cell phone in his hand. That
Speaker 1: means he's he's ignoring us. I went to voice. Yes,
Speaker 1: you think he's gonna give me some millions when he wins? No?
Speaker 1: Did you tell him to answer the phone? Yes? I wrote,
Speaker 1: here's what I wrote, maybe this was confusing. I wrote
Speaker 1: answer phone. Do you think I should have written please
Speaker 1: answer phone? Scott, call him again, Call him again. He's
Speaker 1: sending me to voicemail. I could tell oh, he's like,
Speaker 1: it's two lay for a minute, talk on the phone. No,
Speaker 1: that's what is That's one that's going on. You either that.
Speaker 1: He's on the phone with Elvis telling Elvis he can't
Speaker 1: believe what I'm saying. I'll do the math on the air.
Speaker 1: I don't care those tickets. I'm in on you. I
Speaker 1: agree with you, Brodie, and I'm going to tell him
Speaker 1: that right here. I'm I'm on your side, you know me.
Speaker 1: Slices are on my side. You have that slice to
Speaker 1: the audio told you to get Yeah, I got Scott.
Speaker 1: He's not answering whatever. It's not okay, I gotta He's
Speaker 1: no fun. He knows I'm right. Now. You know he's busted. Now.
Speaker 1: He's busted because he knows I'm right. We have a
Speaker 1: couple of free dessert stories for you that I wanted
Speaker 1: to give you from the mail bag. Absolutely, yeah, but
Speaker 1: let's play this one piece of sound that we have
Speaker 1: here are actually two pieces of sound. All right, So
Speaker 1: what's the This is a phone number. The phone number one,
Speaker 1: the one. It's the message that was left for you.
Speaker 1: Do you want to know what? You want to know?
Speaker 1: What language this is? What's going on here? Is that
Speaker 1: the one we played it last week? Now we played
Speaker 1: two calls last week, but then you sent something else.
Speaker 1: It's this listen warranty? Linchy? Is that Cantonese? What is that?
Speaker 1: It sounds like a dialect of Chinese. It sounds like
Speaker 1: definitely some Chinese in there. Why did we play it?
Speaker 1: Where did this come from? That was my answering machine?
Speaker 1: That was another way was at home? That was that
Speaker 1: was a recent one though that was after last week,
Speaker 1: so we don't know. We wanted a translation. Is that
Speaker 1: what we're hoping for here? No? I'm like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Is that like my social Security number is bad? But
Speaker 1: they are hoping that I was Asian? You're going to warranty?
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is? Come on, scare you?
Speaker 1: Do you do accents what I'm saying I have? First
Speaker 1: of all, I'd like to know what language that is.
Speaker 1: I'm guessing it's it's it's a form of Chinese, but
Speaker 1: but Chinese has several different dialects and several different reasons.
Speaker 1: So if you if you know what that what she
Speaker 1: said and what what dialect that is or what region,
Speaker 1: please let us know. But we're curious. Um. All right, now,
Speaker 1: let's move on to UM, our friends, Barstool Sports, and
Speaker 1: our guy I'm trying desperately Dave Portner figure out, David,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to find the person who sent it to me.
Speaker 1: I ap aologize. UM. So Dave Portnoy is the guy
Speaker 1: who probably you probably know him from just One B
Speaker 1: the pizza review guy. He's like, all right, everyone knows
Speaker 1: the rules. One bite and he takes ten bites and
Speaker 1: he gives pizza a rating. And he pulls up randomly
Speaker 1: to these places in the middle of the day when
Speaker 1: no one's expecting him anyway, so he he doesn't right,
Speaker 1: but hold on, he does his typical stick. He goes
Speaker 1: into the store, buys the pizza and now this is
Speaker 1: the part where he comes out with the pizza pie
Speaker 1: and he's about to eat it on camera and talk
Speaker 1: about a promotion that they happen to be running with
Speaker 1: a uh an app called Slice, which, by the way,
Speaker 1: let me take it from there. But I was gonna say, hey, Slice,
Speaker 1: if you're listening, Uh, you should be a sponsor of
Speaker 1: our problem. It's a no brainer. Continue hold Okay. So
Speaker 1: Danielle Marie uh sent me uh DM deal d ms
Speaker 1: on on the Graham that's de Marie seven one seven.
Speaker 1: I'm assuming she's a Philly girl from the area code.
Speaker 1: Either that our birthdays July seventeenth, possibly okay, or it's July,
Speaker 1: in which case she's three and a half years okay.
Speaker 1: So she sent me the video of the audio gonna play. So, uh,
Speaker 1: Dave from Dave from Barstool's Dave right, the creator call
Speaker 1: her daddy. Yeah, No, he's not the creator. He's the
Speaker 1: owner of owner of her daddy right. He bought it
Speaker 1: from them, sign them and right. Okay. So he's trying
Speaker 1: to talk about how this this Slice app. The Slice
Speaker 1: app allows you to buy and get delivered pizza from
Speaker 1: Pizza all over your area. I don't know if it's
Speaker 1: available everywhere. I know it's in some major cities like
Speaker 1: New York and Boston. After that, it's a cool concept
Speaker 1: because you can get You're not to tweet me, but anyway,
Speaker 1: So he's trying to talk about a promotion and he's
Speaker 1: fumbling over the exact verbiage of what they promotion. It's
Speaker 1: a contest and you have hashtag this thing. And Danielle
Speaker 1: heard him say something that caught her attention. And play
Speaker 1: the clip you'll hear what she's what she is stool
Speaker 1: president day. We want to get free pizza for a year.
Speaker 1: They're doing on social media Instagram, Twitter if you do
Speaker 1: the hashtag pizza for life, Slice for life, Slice for
Speaker 1: a year. So hemmerly said slice Slice Now listen, listen, Dave,
Speaker 1: my man we are I am a manning Dave because
Speaker 1: I can. And by the way, we were just called
Speaker 1: Spruce tonight. I left to call Spruce next week next Wednesday,
Speaker 1: told me he was available. He yeah, he was. I forgot.
Speaker 1: Is he still available? No, I'll get him on. By
Speaker 1: the way, I don't. I don't know how this happened,
Speaker 1: but Anderson Windows and Doors keeps emailing me. Not it's
Speaker 1: so sending me promotions, and all the promotions say dea Spruce. Now,
Speaker 1: Spruce is not a common name. So somehow Dave think
Speaker 1: I'm him. I have no idea what happened, no idea
Speaker 1: how Kenderson Windows thinks I'm Spruce? Right? Could you teach
Speaker 1: me his number real quick. By the way. In the meantime,
Speaker 1: got continue, Are you gonna call him? So? I'm gonna okay,
Speaker 1: so I, I tweeted, I tweeted, I I replied to
Speaker 1: the post. I commented on the post on his uh
Speaker 1: on Barstool's Instagram, I said, Hey, man, we're big fans
Speaker 1: our listeners. Slogan is slice for Life. We have pizza
Speaker 1: in our logo. Our fans are the slices. You said,
Speaker 1: slice for Life. Check out our podcast available on all
Speaker 1: platforms except Eiser. But he has not, to my knowledge,
Speaker 1: checked out our podcast because Stool praised the big Bucks
Speaker 1: Stool president. Ay uh. You know, once you slide into
Speaker 1: his d m s there or everyone, tell him about us,
Speaker 1: tell him that we've been here, and tell him if
Speaker 1: he likes to call her, you know, ditty podcast. He
Speaker 1: will love. Call her Brodie exactly, call her Brodie. He
Speaker 1: heard it. That's the name. Give me that. Give me
Speaker 1: that message. In the meantime, let me tell you a
Speaker 1: story of hope from Trevor. He wrote to us, is
Speaker 1: it mail time? Say send you the mail time jingle?
Speaker 1: I think it's mail time. I think I've been slacking
Speaker 1: on the jingles lately because we're at home and it's
Speaker 1: not as easy to you mail talk that change like
Speaker 1: it's mail time. Welcome, you've got mail. The buttons I
Speaker 1: press are for Barbie Doll fingers, big fat thumbs. I'm
Speaker 1: telling you, well, we're working remotely, so you know. Yes,
Speaker 1: this is a great equipment that can handle a lot
Speaker 1: of things. It's just the display screen is really small. Anyway,
Speaker 1: Trevor said, hey, uh, I just want to tell you
Speaker 1: my free dessert story from Wayfair and Amazon. My wife
Speaker 1: and I ordered a buffet table. Long story short, It
Speaker 1: showed up damage. My wife said, what are you gonna do?
Speaker 1: I said, oh, don't you worry. I'm gonna get my
Speaker 1: free dessert. Called and they said there was nothing they
Speaker 1: can do. Supervisor ended up getting sixties six dollars back
Speaker 1: for the damages. Amazon didn't order my wife's package on time.
Speaker 1: I said, oh, hold on a second call. Amazon called
Speaker 1: Amazon and said it was my wife's birthday and the
Speaker 1: package was super important. It wasn't. They said, we can
Speaker 1: do a five dollar gift card, you cheap bastards. I said,
Speaker 1: here's what you're gonna do for me. Double it to
Speaker 1: ten dollars and I'm happy the package costs fifteen dollars
Speaker 1: small dessert, but thanks. I'll be buying the book Slice
Speaker 1: Full Life. Hashtag fuck you, a hashtag scaries box. Nice
Speaker 1: to want to see that you got it all right.
Speaker 1: Also so um Lenny Lamb wrote to us about the
Speaker 1: Mandela effect, saying, Okay, I'm powering through some of the
Speaker 1: later podcasts. I can't remember which episode, but you guys
Speaker 1: mentioned the Mandela effect. One example Brody used was the
Speaker 1: Berenstein barren Stain Bears and that it has always been
Speaker 1: the barren Stain Bears or Berenstein or whatever. I found.
Speaker 1: I found this old picture in my hard drive and
Speaker 1: wanted to share it with you. It's actually there. It
Speaker 1: is the book The Barrenstein Bears learn about whatever it is,
Speaker 1: So and the Ill learn about stranger whatever anyway, stranger danger.
Speaker 1: The point is it was weird that a random reference
Speaker 1: from his past was mentioned on the day that he
Speaker 1: listened to the podcast, and then lo and behold, he's
Speaker 1: going through his collection he finds these old books. Um, yeah, alright, okay,
Speaker 1: well that's that's a coincidence. That's a coincident, is not
Speaker 1: a it's not not irony. Yeah, alright, alright, please read
Speaker 1: this on the podcast. It would be irony if on
Speaker 1: the way home Barrenstein Bear killed him. Okay, anyway, y'all
Speaker 1: read an email on episode Oh, Noel Johansson wrote, y'all
Speaker 1: wrote it? What up? Guys? You all wrote? Read an
Speaker 1: email on episode one one from my buddy David. Oh wait,
Speaker 1: we do talked about this. This is to eat a
Speaker 1: dick guy. All right, We're good, all right, continue, We
Speaker 1: did this last week. I remember us talking about to
Speaker 1: eat a dick guy from the r v A And
Speaker 1: you said, what is the r v A mean? And
Speaker 1: I said, okay, okay, okay, okay, Richmond, Virginia. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, alright,
Speaker 1: back to um. Have you heard so? I wanted to
Speaker 1: talk about enterprise around a car um, and I wanted
Speaker 1: to talk Should I talk about the bed Beth and
Speaker 1: Beyond thing again? We can do anything your little heart
Speaker 1: desires because we own this podcast and we'll do all
Speaker 1: of that. Yeah, you know when we're gonna do it. Party.
Speaker 1: Didn't we already do two commercial breaks? We only did one? Man,
Speaker 1: you have Anesia, Well, I thought we did the one
Speaker 1: up front. No, that was this that was it. That
Speaker 1: was it? This this is that that you could do
Speaker 1: with this you do that's it? And now this man
Speaker 1: it I can't remember everything. It's later Wednesday night. This
Speaker 1: story was in the New York Post a day or
Speaker 1: two ago. I wanted to share it with everybody. I'm
Speaker 1: not getting political. I always preface that. But you know,
Speaker 1: we had the uh, the unfortunate uh riots at the
Speaker 1: Capitol a couple of weeks ago, two weeks today, and
Speaker 1: you know, the FBI is trying to use video footage
Speaker 1: and camera angles and uh they have apparently right now
Speaker 1: at least and then apparently they have cell phone uh
Speaker 1: like uh, cell phone detectors. So if you were in
Speaker 1: the Capitol with your cell phone, they they'll know you there.
Speaker 1: They can track you. And so and a lot of
Speaker 1: people posted videos of themselves bragging like, oh, look at me,
Speaker 1: I'm doing it. Look at me, I'm in the Capitol.
Speaker 1: Look at me. Is my name, my busy and this
Speaker 1: is my company. And they're all getting caught for being dumb. However,
Speaker 1: this guy wins. This guy wins. A Maryland man was
Speaker 1: arrested for being at the Capitol riot for being involved
Speaker 1: in the riot, right how did they catch him, Well,
Speaker 1: he was arrested for something else. He was out on
Speaker 1: parole at the time. He went to the capitol and
Speaker 1: he was wearing his ankle monitor. Oh my god. So
Speaker 1: they g PSC's ankle monitor because he's on parole. So
Speaker 1: they track you, and they tracked him to the capitol.
Speaker 1: That's not a smart criminal, not a smart So it's
Speaker 1: a Maryland man. I I usually the right right. Uh,
Speaker 1: let me tell you about Enterprise, enterprise running car. It's
Speaker 1: a it's a little bit of a free disser story. Um,
Speaker 1: there's a lot to it. But uh, I don't know
Speaker 1: where to to to argue first, so let me um. Uh. First,
Speaker 1: I called Enterprise because I told you my I had
Speaker 1: a couple of car accidents that I got my my
Speaker 1: Dodge Charger got hit. Now, my Dodge Charger is a
Speaker 1: very large car. It seats five. Right, it's a full
Speaker 1: size car in the sense of old school full size car.
Speaker 1: But Enterprise they consider anything with four doors, mostly like
Speaker 1: a Camra or an Ultima full size car. I can
Speaker 1: fit those cars in the trunk of my car. Okay, So, uh,
Speaker 1: I said to the to the woman, when I when
Speaker 1: I when I from the other company, the other car company,
Speaker 1: the insurance of the guy who hit me, the guy
Speaker 1: with no license, that guy. I say to the woman, listen,
Speaker 1: when you approve my rental car, which you say could
Speaker 1: take up to four days, let me tell you what
Speaker 1: what's gonna need to be done. I'm gonna need you
Speaker 1: to give me an upgraded full size car or a
Speaker 1: luxury car, because I don't want to drive a small
Speaker 1: car that you call a full that enterprise calls a
Speaker 1: full size car. So step one, I want an upgrade.
Speaker 1: You guys hit me no license. She's okay, no problem.
Speaker 1: I said. Second of all, you're gonna pay for my
Speaker 1: satellite radio. Because I pay for satellite radio and my
Speaker 1: car is in the shop, I can't use my car,
Speaker 1: and I wanted car with satellite radio, and I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna pay for that. Oh, we don't do that. Now.
Speaker 1: I've talked about this on the show before, because I've
Speaker 1: rented cars before and I've made them pay for the
Speaker 1: satellite radio. She says to me, well, I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: to ask my supervisor. But I don't see that happen.
Speaker 1: So she calls me back four days later and says,
Speaker 1: are you've been approved to go get your car just
Speaker 1: but we can't pay for the satellite radio. I said, well,
Speaker 1: I need to speak to supervisor. I already called my supervisor.
Speaker 1: She said that, UM, she can't. She she's not gonna
Speaker 1: do it. I said, you're gonna do it. I said,
Speaker 1: I warns you on Monday that when all this was
Speaker 1: said and done, you were gonna pay for my satellite radio. Right.
Speaker 1: You don't know me, but trust me, you're gonna pay
Speaker 1: for my satellite radio. It's seven dollars a day roughly,
Speaker 1: with taxes and everything that adds up. When when the
Speaker 1: cause in the shop for a week, I said, so,
Speaker 1: rather than going through the trouble, I warned you in advance.
Speaker 1: I'm being nice. Started very nice woman. I said, I
Speaker 1: did give you a heads up. I know, Mr Brownie,
Speaker 1: but I spoke to my supervisor. She said no, as
Speaker 1: I I tried to avoid this, please give me her information.
Speaker 1: So she gives me information and I call our leave
Speaker 1: her a message. That was on Thursday Friday. I have
Speaker 1: to go rent the car. I haven't heard back yet,
Speaker 1: but I still gotta go. After get the car, drop
Speaker 1: my car from the shop, I call Enterprise and the
Speaker 1: do you get the voicemail system. I wish I had
Speaker 1: the recording. We sanitize our cars from the inside out. Well, okay,
Speaker 1: what does it matter if you if you sanitize them
Speaker 1: from the outside in it? Why is that? Why is
Speaker 1: that a selling point? Why does it matter you're going
Speaker 1: from the side out. Oh, you know, due to COVID restrictions,
Speaker 1: we sanitize our cars on the inside out, from the
Speaker 1: ground up. I don't care what direction you do it.
Speaker 1: So I thought, that's kind of like who cares, right,
Speaker 1: and they go and and you know, enterprise. The good
Speaker 1: thing about enterprise is wherever you are within reason, if
Speaker 1: you don't have a car, they'll come get you and
Speaker 1: bring you to the rental place right right, So that's
Speaker 1: like enterprise, we'll pick you up. Scary. I'm gonna tell
Speaker 1: you something right now. I am not getting a car
Speaker 1: with a stranger in a rental car. Are you really
Speaker 1: gonna because I'm not getting a call with my friends
Speaker 1: right now. I'm not going to call some wait hold on, no.
Speaker 1: But even if you guys have no I don't know
Speaker 1: if he's in conference and he's in the car for
Speaker 1: the past something. Okay, I'm not doing it. So I
Speaker 1: don't know about you, but I'm not getting in. They're
Speaker 1: not picking me up. I'm happy to take that risk.
Speaker 1: I'm not you. So I call, I call. It's like
Speaker 1: a it's like eleven o'clock. I said, listen, I need
Speaker 1: a car around twelve thirty. The guy says, uh, I
Speaker 1: don't have any full sized cause right now. But you
Speaker 1: know what, by twelve thirty, Uh, we might have different cause. Right.
Speaker 1: So I said, um, well, what do you have now? Right?
Speaker 1: I'll come now. He says, we don't have any cause
Speaker 1: right now. Call me back at twelve thirty. Um, right,
Speaker 1: he says, the cause will be different. Then I said, okay,
Speaker 1: but what cause do you have now? He says, well,
Speaker 1: you're not coming to twelve dirty, so what does it matter? So?
Speaker 1: I said, well, if you have a car now and
Speaker 1: it's something I like, I'll come now. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: if you come now, we're gonna have different cars in
Speaker 1: twelve thirty. Go what what does that matter if I
Speaker 1: come now because you have a car? I like, what
Speaker 1: does it matter if you have Are you listening to me?
Speaker 1: He wasn't listening. He was so caught up in me
Speaker 1: saying I was Originally I was coming at twelve thirty.
Speaker 1: There was no way I could convince him. I'll come
Speaker 1: now at ten o'clock. I'll come right now. So he says,
Speaker 1: we have to call back. So I couldn't. I couldn't
Speaker 1: deal with him, and he didn't have any cause when
Speaker 1: I called back at twelve thirty, So I call another place.
Speaker 1: Uh in a not a great area of New Jersey. Okay,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have called death first. And I said, um,
Speaker 1: do you have a full size car? I drive a
Speaker 1: Dodge Charger. I need a big car. Do you have
Speaker 1: a CRISTI three hundred dog? What do you have? Says? Oh,
Speaker 1: I have a Dodge charger. I said, great, I'm dropping
Speaker 1: off my car now. I'll be there in like forty minutes.
Speaker 1: Now I have a reservation number through the insurance company,
Speaker 1: and I'm in their system already. I already have an
Speaker 1: enterprise reservation, so I said. So I said, oh great,
Speaker 1: I'll be there in like forty minutes. Let me drop
Speaker 1: my car. You have an uncanny way of making things
Speaker 1: more difficult for yourself and getting yourself into these issues.
Speaker 1: And he understand it's a it's a so this was uh,
Speaker 1: it was a Monday. It was was a Monday morning.
Speaker 1: Nobody has any cars. Monday morning, everybody's renting cars for
Speaker 1: the week. Nobody has any cars cass on the weekends. Right,
Speaker 1: It's so, I said, listen, I've called nine enterprise renting cars.
Speaker 1: You have the only car I want. You have a
Speaker 1: Dodge Charger. I have a Dodge Charger. Can you please
Speaker 1: hold the car for me? Yeah, I'm sorry. We can't
Speaker 1: do that because we have people in the store. And
Speaker 1: they didn't have to be a Dodge charger. Cann't have
Speaker 1: been something lesser or something different. I didn't want a
Speaker 1: small car they only had. They didn't have any of
Speaker 1: the cars something big. They had nothing. They had nothing.
Speaker 1: I feel like charger is a specialty card that they
Speaker 1: rarely have a lot. Now. No, No, they have the
Speaker 1: V six version, Like it's not expensive. That's one of
Speaker 1: the cause they rent. It's a full sized car. It's
Speaker 1: a it's a Dodge they rented. It's they rent Chevy
Speaker 1: and Palace. They rent Dodge charges for fusions. There's certain
Speaker 1: cause each company makes for rental car, like fleet cars.
Speaker 1: The charger is one of those cars. So they have them,
Speaker 1: they just don't always have them in stock. She wouldn't
Speaker 1: hold the car for me, scary, I said, but I'm coming,
Speaker 1: I'm deserving it. I'm in the system. Put me down.
Speaker 1: Someone who store might want it. Someone who store might
Speaker 1: want it. Okay. So I get to the play I
Speaker 1: get to the place and I'm online and I looked
Speaker 1: outside and in the in the parking lot they have
Speaker 1: a M A g mc Terrain, which is a middle
Speaker 1: sized suv, fully loaded, leather seats, really nice. So I'm like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm gonna ask for that car because
Speaker 1: they don't have a car my size. It's probably a
Speaker 1: couple of hours more. I want that car. So I
Speaker 1: get up to the counter. The woman's mind the counter,
Speaker 1: I said, yeah, hi, I'm here, Mr Brody. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: spoke on the phone with you. Yeah, huh uh the
Speaker 1: charge up? Not that's gone okay. I said, well, I
Speaker 1: went in your parking lot. You didn't have anything like
Speaker 1: except I want. I would like I would like the terrain.
Speaker 1: Can you give me the terrain? They didn't have anything scary,
Speaker 1: they were booked up, so so um so I said,
Speaker 1: So I said, well can I have the terrain? She
Speaker 1: as well, there's only two problems with that. What's that one,
Speaker 1: it's ten dollars more day than what you're you're reserved for.
Speaker 1: And to that guy just got it and I see
Speaker 1: him drive off in the car. I said, okay, I
Speaker 1: really wanted that, just well, he needed it. He's tall,
Speaker 1: So I said, okay, but are you saying I'm short?
Speaker 1: And what do you think? She said, scary? What would
Speaker 1: you do in customer service? I said, customer service? You
Speaker 1: have to you'd have to clean up that mess real quick.
Speaker 1: You have to say something like no, right, she said
Speaker 1: to me, he's taller than you. He's taller than you. Yes, no, no,
Speaker 1: she said, well, yeah, you are short, I said, I said,
Speaker 1: I'm I said, you don't say it to a customer.
Speaker 1: That's not very nice, Like, I'm not short, I'm not tall.
Speaker 1: I'm five ten, I'm not five three. So then she
Speaker 1: looks at me, she says, well, you're not very tall,
Speaker 1: but don't tell me. I'm sure. I'm a customer, like,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to be fun with it. I'm like, that's
Speaker 1: a very nice. And the guy behind the counter is giggling.
Speaker 1: He's a tall guy. He's kind of like chuckling, like
Speaker 1: covering his mouth. I can see's chuckling. She stands up
Speaker 1: scary to to take me to the parking lot to
Speaker 1: pick out a car, and she's six three. Well, you
Speaker 1: know what in comparison relative loreal, relatively you are you are.
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, I'm sure, I'm sure. She's got me
Speaker 1: my five inches. I couldn't get me in the hoop
Speaker 1: like she was towering over me. Okay. We go out
Speaker 1: to the parking lot and they've got um a Chevy
Speaker 1: and Palla. A Chevy and Pala is a nice car.
Speaker 1: It's got leather, it's got all the options, doesn't have
Speaker 1: a moon roof. What are you gonna do? It's got
Speaker 1: satellite radio, which at this point nobody's paying for I'd
Speaker 1: have to pay for it myself because I haven't heard
Speaker 1: back from the supervisor. So I said, you know what,
Speaker 1: that's a really nice car. It's black. It's like my car.
Speaker 1: It's about as big as my car. I'll take it. Great.
Speaker 1: It just came in today. We cleaned it up. It
Speaker 1: just got back on the lot because it wasn't there
Speaker 1: when I walked around before looking for the cause they had.
Speaker 1: I said, oh great, it's meant to be. So we
Speaker 1: go inside. We do all the paperwork, we get it,
Speaker 1: I go to get in the car and I get
Speaker 1: hit with a tornado of cigarette smoke, like the most awful,
Speaker 1: like you know, like your coat had a garlic smell.
Speaker 1: The car back in the day when you're allowed to smoke,
Speaker 1: or Miami you still can do that. Right in Miami.
Speaker 1: You can still smoke in clubs and bars. Right, So
Speaker 1: the car is reeking of cigarette smoke. Now at this point,
Speaker 1: my car's in the body shop. My friend dropped my friend,
Speaker 1: Jeff dropped me off at the at the rental place.
Speaker 1: I have no way to get anywhere without renting a car,
Speaker 1: so my option is to get a little two door,
Speaker 1: a little shitty car, or this car. So I said,
Speaker 1: there's a sticker on the dashboard that says no smoking.
Speaker 1: So I tell the woman. I go back in and
Speaker 1: I said, wait, you did this on this podcast. You talked, Yes,
Speaker 1: you talked about the fact that it was a smoke,
Speaker 1: it was smoking, someone had smoked in the car, and
Speaker 1: that you deserve some money off. Because right, so I did.
Speaker 1: I So long story short, Uh they gave me, uh,
Speaker 1: well they did. They couldn't do anything cause I wasn't
Speaker 1: paying for the car. There was nothing they could do,
Speaker 1: and they charged me for the satellite radio because apparently
Speaker 1: that's a different department that they have to charge for.
Speaker 1: So I put down to pay for the rental car
Speaker 1: for the satellite radio, and then on Thursday, I still
Speaker 1: haven't heard back about the seller radio. So I call
Speaker 1: up the woman who was helping me and I say, listen,
Speaker 1: it's been I'm returning the car tomorrow. I got like
Speaker 1: a forty five dollar bill for the satellite radio, she
Speaker 1: I said. I left her voicemail. I said, you gotta
Speaker 1: help me here. I called your supervisor and never heard back.
Speaker 1: Please call me back. So now I'm like ready for
Speaker 1: a fight because I'm I'm a stink mobile and I'm
Speaker 1: paying for satellite radio, which I told him I wasn't
Speaker 1: gonna pay for. She calls me back, she says, Mr Brodie,
Speaker 1: which We'll let you know. I spoke to my supervisor.
Speaker 1: She was adamant that they were not going to pay
Speaker 1: for your satellite radio. I said, I'm gonna call her
Speaker 1: back right now, and she says to me, you don't
Speaker 1: need to. I told her she was wrong. I said,
Speaker 1: you have every right to get satellite radio, and I'm
Speaker 1: taking it upon myself to approve it out of our
Speaker 1: discretionary fund. And we are paying for your satellite radio,
Speaker 1: and we are so sorry that we were short with you.
Speaker 1: That's yeah. So if you're five ten but you're short,
Speaker 1: I guess it's relative with relative, But can you imagine
Speaker 1: being a customer service The guy that who drove away
Speaker 1: with the car that she called him tall? Was he
Speaker 1: six seven? Was you a basketball player? Well, he was
Speaker 1: ahead of me online by two people. I would say
Speaker 1: he was probably her height. Yeah, he was taller. But
Speaker 1: you can fit into an Impella even if you're six three.
Speaker 1: It's got a curved roof. It is a nice car.
Speaker 1: I don't I don't think commercials. The point was. The
Speaker 1: point was don't take ship. And you know what I
Speaker 1: say to people, don't take ship. They should pay for
Speaker 1: your satellite radio. Make him pay for your satellite radio.
Speaker 1: That's all I've been trying to get spruce on all
Speaker 1: this this entire time. I have a new system here.
Speaker 1: This is kind of cool. It actually will take a
Speaker 1: phone line, allegedly, and it will turn the phone line
Speaker 1: into a podcast broadcast quality line. I kind of want
Speaker 1: to try and come on, you do you have your
Speaker 1: cell phone nearby. I'nna try it with you so badly.
Speaker 1: Hold on, I'm gonna I'm gonna invite you. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: see you. I want to try it so badly. This
Speaker 1: is gonna make your day. What I'm gonna do? We do?
Speaker 1: I want to. I want to, dude. This is how
Speaker 1: we get do better things on our podcast. Hold on,
Speaker 1: so I'm gonna I'm gonna text you to your phone
Speaker 1: right now. A link. Okay, Now, okay, you're gonna turn
Speaker 1: your mic off first set hold on a second night yet,
Speaker 1: tell me when you get this, brody. Okay, here we go.
Speaker 1: I'm going to turn off your microphone. You're expensive, well,
Speaker 1: you're somewhat expensive microphone. You're decent, Mike, And I'm going
Speaker 1: to pull you up on the phone on our phone
Speaker 1: pod here you know theater? Did you get that? But yeah,
Speaker 1: I got a link? Okay, Now I'm gonna turn your
Speaker 1: mica on a second all right now click the link?
Speaker 1: Click the link. H What is it? That's me waiting? Yeah, okay, waiting.
Speaker 1: It's waiting for you. I'm waiting for you to come
Speaker 1: into the room with me on my phone. Can you
Speaker 1: hear me? What are you talking about? I hear you
Speaker 1: turning my microphone. I have to sign up for this.
Speaker 1: No you don't, do you really? Yes, says enter your
Speaker 1: name put in. You can't just click the link and
Speaker 1: go on. Oh my hold on email option will choose microphone,
Speaker 1: your your phone, your phone, your phone mic default. Ok,
Speaker 1: here we go. All right, Hey you there, microphone? Hello? Yeah,
Speaker 1: how is that? Well? You sound like ship. I mean
Speaker 1: it sounds like a phone call. This thing promised something different.
Speaker 1: This thing promised like, well, are you on your WiFi?
Speaker 1: Your home WiFi? I don't stop playing my equipment. It's
Speaker 1: pretty bad. All right, I'm disappointed. Come back to my
Speaker 1: damn it. All right, I'm back on my that's terrible.
Speaker 1: I'm out of breath. My family's home. I didn't empty
Speaker 1: the dish one thing. I wanted that on text message,
Speaker 1: and I had two other things I wanted to talk about.
Speaker 1: We'll do it next week. And so why why don't
Speaker 1: you get a laundry list? No, it's it's all right.
Speaker 1: Just I did my laundry list. I'm buying a washing machine.
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, folks. Oh, by the way, next week,
Speaker 1: I'm doing a food run you know where I'm going
Speaker 1: you're it. No, it's like you don't know.