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Speaker 1: I ruined my brother's wedding cake and his marriage. But

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Speaker 1: he had it coming.

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Speaker 2: You know, some people just deserve it.

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Speaker 3: Some people deserve it, and sometimes you have to be

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Speaker 3: the person to give the justice.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: I just look at your face and I just hate

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Speaker 2: it because that's what I feel inside.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and I want to be a vigilante and dole

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Speaker 3: out the justice that I see face exactly.

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Speaker 2: For all the people who all the people who hate

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Speaker 2: your face for no reason.

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Speaker 1: Wow, Okay, let's get into it.

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Speaker 2: Let's do it.

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Speaker 3: Just to be clear, I didn't actually do anything to

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Speaker 3: the cake, but I'll just start from the very beginning.

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Speaker 3: Growing up, my brother and I would play pranks on

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Speaker 3: each other, I say each other, but he would prank me,

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Speaker 3: mostly relentlessly. Any of you who are younger siblings will

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Speaker 3: know that there will be that one particular moment that

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Speaker 3: often comes up even as you get older, and it

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Speaker 3: goes something like, hey, remember when you know that story,

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Speaker 3: they'll retell it to caculate something devilish they did to

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Speaker 3: you as a child. Our story was about a jar

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Speaker 3: of cookies. Oh any of those?

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Speaker 2: My dad has a ton of them. Oh yeah, like

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Speaker 2: throw TVs at each other God, yeah, it's kind of insane.

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Speaker 3: I have one where my sister and I will go

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Speaker 3: back and forth on this one. But I put dry

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Speaker 3: ice in a bottle and chucked it, and then she

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Speaker 3: went to go pick it up, and I'm like, Sophia, no,

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Speaker 3: and it blew up in her hand.

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Speaker 1: It was terrible. She says she was doing it to

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Speaker 1: save a car. Bullshit.

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Speaker 3: Grandpa was an amazing baker, and he made me a

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Speaker 3: batch of cookies for my birthday, ninth birthday, I believe,

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Speaker 3: which he'd seal in an airtight.

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Speaker 1: Glass box for me.

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Speaker 3: I don't know how or when, but my brother got

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Speaker 3: ahold of the box and proceeded too well fart in it,

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Speaker 3: then back up.

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Speaker 2: Oh why is stereotypical?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god.

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Speaker 3: On my birthday, he handed me the cookie box and said,

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Speaker 3: Grandpa put some extra stink into this.

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Speaker 1: Batch, a.

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Speaker 2: Freaking like edible cookies.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know any of that to the moment.

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Speaker 3: I was too excited to try what looked like delicious cookies.

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Speaker 3: I opened the glass lid and got blasted in the

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Speaker 3: face by the stinge of stale.

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Speaker 1: Ass that.

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Speaker 3: Immediately threw up into the jo Call over the cookies. Oh,

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Speaker 3: I tailed my brother had stolen abeddedly to his delight.

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Speaker 3: Since this gets better on fast forward to now my

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Speaker 3: brother's wedding day. Uh oh oh man. This wasn't a

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Speaker 3: thought out plan. I hadn't been scheming yet. It was

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Speaker 3: spur of the moment, that's all, you know, it's good.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah.

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Speaker 3: My brother had reached the story yet again at his

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Speaker 3: bachelor party three days prior to embarrass me, and I

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Speaker 3: guess the story was fresh in his mind. Ceremonies over

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Speaker 3: all went well, and on to the reception. They're posing

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Speaker 3: for photos before getting the cake, and I don't know what,

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Speaker 3: and I don't know what came to me, but I

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Speaker 3: just leaned over to my brother as his wife was

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Speaker 3: about to take a bite, and I said, I put

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Speaker 3: some extra steake into this cake.

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Speaker 2: Nice.

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Speaker 1: I thought he'd laugh. He did not.

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Speaker 3: With the reflexes of a mother leaping across the rescue

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Speaker 3: her newborn from something dangerous, he slapped the cake out

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Speaker 3: of her hands. There were gasps, some lass. No one

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Speaker 3: really knew what was going on, me included, He whispered

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Speaker 3: in her ear. She looked me in the eyes for

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Speaker 3: a good five to ten seconds, then just started to cry.

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Speaker 1: God, what do you think the brother thinks is happening?

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Speaker 2: I feel like I feel like the brother maybe thought

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Speaker 2: he took it to another level and like like took

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Speaker 2: a dookie in or something that's Have you ever seen

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Speaker 2: The Helph No.

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Speaker 1: Like Ages Ago?

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Speaker 3: Basically one of the Corner the corner scenes in it

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Speaker 3: is one of the main characters takes a dump in

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Speaker 3: a pie and everyone eats it. Oh god, Oh okay,

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Speaker 3: so put your bets on what's happening? She runs off.

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Speaker 3: Everyone is confused. Then my brother confronts me. He told

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Speaker 3: me he thought I did a shit in the cake

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Speaker 3: as revenge for the cookies all those years ago.

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Speaker 1: Wow, great revenge.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I told him I didn't and it was just a

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Speaker 3: dumb joke, but he was too mad to listen. She

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Speaker 3: told her bride bad. She told her brides I did

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Speaker 3: a shit in the cake too. Sure enough, soon everyone

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Speaker 3: of things that I took a shit in the cake.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god. I mean, like how though, like because

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Speaker 2: it's so like ordnately made that you would have to

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Speaker 2: like you probably have to bribe the big cake maker.

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Speaker 2: And it's like that that is like completely putting their

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Speaker 2: reputation on the line, Like no one if they found out,

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Speaker 2: no one would hire them out again.

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Speaker 3: I was too embarrassed to protest, so I just went home.

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Speaker 3: It's been a week and I've not spoken to them,

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Speaker 3: nor anyone else in the wedding, barring my life, clear

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Speaker 3: your name, and I keep feeling guilty even though I

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Speaker 3: didn't actually do anything.

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Speaker 1: Am I the a whole?

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Speaker 2: Wow?

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Speaker 1: Wow? So there's more to this story.

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Speaker 3: There's more to this story, John, But based off what

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Speaker 3: you know so far, is op the A hole?

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Speaker 2: I think this is one of the interesting cases where

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Speaker 2: it actually is kind of on the line. I feel

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Speaker 2: like there would be people pretty passionately debating both sides

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Speaker 2: as of right now. I'm gonna say no the A hole.

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Speaker 2: Why because, uh, all of the provoking of the brother,

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Speaker 2: and this seems to be the first like retaliation, the

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Speaker 2: first like major retaliation. So it's like this guy has

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Speaker 2: literally tortured his brother for a year, first with the

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Speaker 2: incident itself and then just constantly reminding him. So Opie

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Speaker 2: was probably I think like his subconscious was like I'm

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Speaker 2: done with this, like I'm snapping back, and and just

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Speaker 2: like didn't.

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Speaker 3: And like it, like like the brother knows the inside joke,

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Speaker 3: Like yeah, to go to go to just like he

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Speaker 3: should have been like, wait, did you shit in the cake?

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Speaker 3: Like first, and then if the brother says no, I

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Speaker 3: was just joking and like that, it would have been fine.

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Speaker 3: But he literally slaps it out of his wife's hand.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because think about it, Probably the worst case that

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Speaker 2: would have happened if it was actually true, which it wasn't,

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Speaker 2: would have been that she like maybe made a face

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Speaker 2: and she probably would like kind of keep her composure.

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Speaker 2: I would imagine, like you know, and then yeah, and

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Speaker 2: then that's it, right.

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Speaker 3: I don't think you would notice a shit in the

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Speaker 3: cake that large though, I don't know, shit.

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Speaker 2: That's like the worst case scenario were like almost the

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Speaker 2: absolute worst case of this than she throws up if

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Speaker 2: there's actually something in there. But like, I feel like

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Speaker 2: it would have worked out if if he had actually

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Speaker 2: done it, like in the talking and what the brother's thinking,

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Speaker 2: it would have worked out way better if he had

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Speaker 2: the brother had not slapped the cake out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and also like he literally would have had to

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Speaker 3: bribe the cake maker to make this happen, So it's

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Speaker 3: very implausible.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, there's an update.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I texted my brother to come to my house

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Speaker 3: after work so we could talk. He bluntly accepted. We

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Speaker 3: didn't get to really talk, though, because as soon as

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Speaker 3: he pulled up in his car, he started yelling at

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Speaker 3: me on the driveway.

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Speaker 1: He gets out, he's.

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Speaker 2: Like, you fuckingr you beats a shit.

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Speaker 3: Literally, turns out my prank fucked things up more than

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Speaker 3: I realized. After I left the wedding reception with my

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Speaker 3: tail between my legs, they got into some kind of

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Speaker 3: argument and didn't even go on their honeymoon, for which.

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Speaker 1: He blames me. Oh, he is.

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Speaker 3: Still maintaining that I took a shit in the cake,

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Speaker 3: and the reason is that a lot of people here

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Speaker 3: realized that my naive nine year old self didn't. He

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Speaker 3: did a shit in my cookies. So what he didn't

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Speaker 3: realize is not like, not only did the brother, he

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Speaker 3: like he thought his brother just farted in the cookies.

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Speaker 3: His brother shot in the cookies.

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Speaker 2: Oh that's why. Because I was going to say, like

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Speaker 2: a fart contained in a thing. Yeah, oh my god.

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Speaker 3: I obviously didn't get a specifics mid argument, but it

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Speaker 3: came out, and that's what he did. I don't know

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Speaker 3: how as it was a glass box, So you would

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Speaker 3: have seen like a park turt on top. You can

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Speaker 3: only assume he smeared it along the bottom as some

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Speaker 3: type of pace, so people thought it was just chocolate

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Speaker 3: oozing out. When I vomited in the box, he got

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Speaker 3: away with blaming it on a stale fart. He thinks

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Speaker 3: I figured it out and shit in the cake as

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Speaker 3: revenge or something that happened nine years ago. I tried

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Speaker 3: defending myself. In fact, some of your responses help. How

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Speaker 3: would I do this? Is the baker in on it

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Speaker 3: with me? Should I pull off some elaborate ruse to

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Speaker 3: get access to the fully formed cake to shit in it?

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Speaker 1: He wasn't having any of it though.

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Speaker 3: Also another big question is is it chocolate or vanilla cake?

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Speaker 1: Right? Because if it's chocolate you could easily hide it.

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Speaker 1: Vanilla not so much.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm imagining the white cake, the classic.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I'm imagining too. He says he knows

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Speaker 3: I shouldn't it, and he's going to get the cake

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Speaker 3: forensically tested to prove it.

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Speaker 1: He's even threatening legal action.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 3: Eventually my wife had to intervene at the shouting match

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Speaker 3: on their doorstep as he was getting increasingly aggressive.

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Speaker 1: She was worried he may get violent.

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Speaker 3: She got rid of him, and I just went back

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Speaker 3: inside to try to process it all. I got in

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Speaker 3: touch with his wife a few hours later, as people's

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Speaker 3: responses made me realize that even though my brother may

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Speaker 3: be an asshole, her big day was definitely soiled by

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Speaker 3: my action great choice of words. Thankfully, she seems a

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Speaker 3: lot more forgiving than him. We spoke on the phone

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Speaker 3: for a while and she knew the truth about the cookies.

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Speaker 3: Shit not farts, which is why she believed him when

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Speaker 3: he said I shitt in the cake. But as they

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Speaker 3: argued through the night, she realized that I was innocent.

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Speaker 3: I didn't want to pry, but it sounded like there

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Speaker 3: had been relationship problems that led up to the marriage anyway,

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Speaker 3: and his overreaction was just the tipping point. She's now

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Speaker 3: moved out and is staying with her parents, and I

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Speaker 3: suppose my brother finds it easier to pin the blame

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Speaker 3: of their problems on.

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Speaker 1: Me than reflect about his own behavior.

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Speaker 3: I brought up my brother's claim about testing the cake

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Speaker 3: and she actually laughed, which reassured me that he's the

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Speaker 3: only one thinking about such desperate measures. And conclusion, I

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Speaker 3: may have been ruled not the A hole, but my

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Speaker 3: actions have ruined a marriage. She's moving out, my brother

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Speaker 3: is lawyering up, they're getting an annulment, and I may

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Speaker 3: or may not receive a subpoena about a Pooh in

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Speaker 3: a box.

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Speaker 2: Wow?

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Speaker 1: So is one sentence just ruined a marriage?

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Speaker 2: Oh my god?

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Speaker 3: Kind of wow? Okay, So I want to know, has

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Speaker 3: your answer changed? Is op the A hole or not?

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Speaker 2: Still not the A hole? Because like he was saying, like, oh,

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Speaker 2: there was like all of these problems in their marriage before,

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Speaker 2: and now it's it's more clear that the reason why

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Speaker 2: the brother was reacting so much as he's just like

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Speaker 2: he's just trying to push all the blame off of himself.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So wow, oh my gosh, but that's just it's just

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Speaker 2: such such an insane series of events to unfold that,

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Speaker 2: like you say, one joke.

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Speaker 1: And then it just ruins all marriage.

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Speaker 3: What do you think? I mean, what did did Opie's

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Speaker 3: joke go too far? I think the fact that the

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Speaker 3: brother thinks that op has been holding like a twenty

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Speaker 3: year grudge or like a fifteen year brudge, whatever it is,

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Speaker 3: is crazy. But maybe I guess like he he thought

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Speaker 3: it's possible.

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Speaker 2: I could see that. But that's that, ain't it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's crazy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, what would you do in this situation if

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Speaker 3: your brother was trying to uh sue you and you

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Speaker 3: broke up in this marriage?

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Speaker 2: Who in the lawsuit?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, poop on the papers. You've been served, so you

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Speaker 3: use this. Oh my goodness, all right, we'll see you

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Speaker 3: in the next episode. Dead sister gives me her house,

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Speaker 3: So my parents are suing me for everything?

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Speaker 2: Okay, OPI when your parents sue you, that's an issue.

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Speaker 1: Come on, I'm like you, haven't you not made out

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Speaker 1: enough money already?

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Speaker 2: Supposed to be family business family?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I know you're a baby boomer. Like back in

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Speaker 3: the good old days, you could buy a house for

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Speaker 3: like two dollars exactly. How we having to transplant our

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Speaker 3: kidneys and give you twenty million.

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Speaker 1: Dollars for this bullshit?

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Speaker 2: Start an ony, fans.

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Speaker 3: It starts heavy, y'all. My thirty six female sister died

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Speaker 3: six months ago from a heart condition. She practically raised me,

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Speaker 3: so it's been pretty difficult to deal with in my

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Speaker 3: final year of university and have failed every single class

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Speaker 3: this semester.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's awful.

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Speaker 3: She'd be disappointed, but it is what it is. My

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Speaker 3: sister never married, never had children. I lived with her

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Speaker 3: near campus, and she ran a successful side business, and

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Speaker 3: I got to help her occasionally as a paid intern.

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Speaker 3: She worked a lot, but not to support us. She

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Speaker 3: wanted to retire by the time she was forty. She

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Speaker 3: would have been done in four years if her heart

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Speaker 3: hadn't failed.

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Speaker 2: First, dude, that's so sad, tragic, building her whole life

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Speaker 2: and it didn't work out.

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Speaker 3: When she died, her attorney read her will to me.

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Speaker 3: She had left everything to me. She had an extremely

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Speaker 3: large amount of money put away for her retirement inside

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Speaker 3: accounts for various activities for her retirement.

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Speaker 1: I was unaware of this, but.

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Speaker 3: She had made several real estate investments so she could

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Speaker 3: continue living a comfy lifestyle when she retired. She left

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Speaker 3: her two thousand and six super to me and willed

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Speaker 3: our current house to me as well. She had explained

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Speaker 3: she wanted to use this house for college housing eventually.

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Speaker 3: This was all extremely overwhelming to hear, especially because she

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Speaker 3: left nothing to my parents, but as they didn't know

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Speaker 3: she had assets, they willingly paid for the funeral in

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Speaker 3: any other associated costs.

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Speaker 2: I mean that right, there is like, why did she

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Speaker 2: leave nothing to the parents.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I think we're about to find out

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Speaker 3: my sister was no contact with our parents, and I'm

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Speaker 3: very low contact and we're their only children, so why

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Speaker 3: why are they low contact?

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Speaker 2: Something's going on here.

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Speaker 3: At the funeral, my parents asked me how I was

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Speaker 3: going to continue going to college without her money. Well,

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Speaker 3: they thought that my sister paid for college. Psych I

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Speaker 3: got student Hey maybe, I told them I'd continue to

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Speaker 3: take out loans. They asked me about living arrangements, and

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Speaker 3: I shrugged. At the time, I didn't know all the details.

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Speaker 1: Anyway.

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Speaker 3: Well, two weeks ago I found out my parents tried

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Speaker 3: to sell my sister's house.

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Speaker 1: While I was still living there.

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Speaker 2: That's crazy, which also means they were like definitely hiding it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they were hiding it exactly.

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Speaker 3: They brought a they brought a realtor over and toward

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Speaker 3: our home and everything.

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Speaker 1: It was on all the cameras set up at home.

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Speaker 1: So I saw it.

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Speaker 3: And when I called them and informed them I'm calling

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Speaker 3: the police, they said, all right, no, no, I'll explain

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Speaker 3: the situation. It's all fine. We're just going to sell

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Speaker 3: your sister's house. Okay, even though it's ope's. I told them, actually,

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Speaker 3: it's my home, and this home was willed to me

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Speaker 3: and me alone.

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Speaker 2: That's right, baby, laid down that law way, they couldn't

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Speaker 2: sell it, and they were confused heavily.

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Speaker 3: I told them to meet at my attorneys in set

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Speaker 3: a time, which is such like a bold move.

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Speaker 1: See me at my attorney.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's crazy when you're meeting your family with

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Speaker 2: an attorney.

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Speaker 3: Oh, God, do not want to be there you today?

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Speaker 3: My attorney explained the will to my parents. My mother

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Speaker 3: went white as a sheet, and my father was grumbling

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Speaker 3: about suing me for his rightful money plus the cost

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Speaker 3: of the funeral.

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Speaker 2: What kind of father are you? Like?

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Speaker 1: Actually so garbage?

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Speaker 2: God.

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Speaker 3: My mother began ugly sobbing, telling the attorney he was wrong.

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Speaker 3: Her daughter would not leave the house to someone like me. Bro,

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Speaker 3: you were no contact with your daughter like your daughter.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 3: The attorney cut the meeting short, and now we're preparing

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Speaker 3: for the inevitable lawsuit coming my way.

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Speaker 2: I like how she's crying at the fact that she's

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Speaker 2: like lost this real estate and not the daughter. Isn't

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Speaker 2: even mentioning the worrying about the daughter?

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Speaker 1: Wow?

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Speaker 3: I just want to sleep and avoid all of this.

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Speaker 3: Just some added info. My mom is a stay at

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Speaker 3: home mom, but she's the kind who spends her life

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Speaker 3: at the country club, not the involved kind. And my

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Speaker 3: dad is a businessman and typically on business trips for

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Speaker 3: weeks at a time. They live, as they call it,

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Speaker 3: a lower upper class lifestyle.

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Speaker 2: Really trying to like finesse their way out of that one.

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Speaker 3: Updates, though, there are updates of the story. Okay, as

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Speaker 3: for the grades and me failing my classes, I did

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Speaker 3: talk to the professors and four of six of them

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Speaker 3: gave me extensions, but the other two are being jerks

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Speaker 3: about it.

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Speaker 2: Lame.

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Speaker 1: It's fine, though, I did sign up for my school's

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Speaker 1: grief group.

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Speaker 3: I just got done changing all the locks to in

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Speaker 3: the house, thanks to everyone who helped me with the

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Speaker 3: home stuff too. I'll be sure to watch the home

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Speaker 3: insurance bill or get a financial advisor or something. My

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Speaker 3: sister's degrees in mine are in the same field, so

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Speaker 3: I'll be continuing her business too, and I'll need a

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Speaker 3: real estate attorney to redo the leases on her other rentals.

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Speaker 3: I guess I don't know how to do all of this,

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Speaker 3: and it's kind of overwhelming.

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Speaker 2: That's amazing. Reddit came in clutch Bro.

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Speaker 3: And like she's taking for the sister's business. That's that's awesome.

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Speaker 3: It's awesome, Like I feel like that's what her sister

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Speaker 3: would have wanted.

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Speaker 2: Yes, one hundred percent.

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Speaker 1: So final update.

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Speaker 3: My father sent me a text apologizing, said he wanted

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Speaker 3: to sell the house because of the market right now,

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Speaker 3: but won't push me. I'll give more details at some point,

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Speaker 3: going to see how this plays out, and I'll give

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Speaker 3: the official update at some point later.

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Speaker 2: Man, Like, so he wanted to sell the house because

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Speaker 2: that was at the peak of the market, then why

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Speaker 2: did no? No, that's that's Cap.

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Speaker 3: That's Cap, that's Cap. They were just trying to get

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Speaker 3: that money.

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Speaker 2: They were for making the best of a bad situation.

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Speaker 1: Facts.

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Speaker 2: She did it, She did it.