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Speaker 1: Whenever I'm dressed cool, my parents put up a fight.

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Speaker 1: Ah if I'm hot, shut, mom will come my hair

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Speaker 1: at night.

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Speaker 2: The implications of that song that if Gaga was like

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Speaker 2: acted out, her mom would come into her room at

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Speaker 2: night and cut her hair off. She's sheen ami.

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Speaker 1: No ma, not name yo yo yo, what is your

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Speaker 1: childhood trauma?

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Speaker 3: I am chok.

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Speaker 2: Yo.

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Speaker 1: Life's going down before.

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Speaker 2: Round. Welcome to Lake a Virgin, the show where we

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Speaker 2: give yesterday's pop culture Todays takes armas DomU and I'm

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Speaker 2: friend Toronto, and today we're talking about hair.

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Speaker 1: Not to be confus with body or face hair.

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Speaker 2: Although although I do think we'll probably talk about both

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Speaker 2: body and facial hair, right right right, yes, so.

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Speaker 1: My hair, my body hair.

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Speaker 2: Hars an. I think an underrated Gaga song.

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Speaker 1: Oh we can say they're gonna be like hair, just

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Speaker 1: as a thing is very underrated.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, no, actually, well, attention to hair, but I

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Speaker 2: think even that being true, it's still underrated.

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Speaker 1: Right right right. Maybe it's maybe there's a zance.

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Speaker 2: Happening with it. I mean, no one, I hate to

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Speaker 2: be a girl who references flea Bag, but there's that

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Speaker 2: part in flea Bag where She hates to be one

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Speaker 2: of those you know what I mean? She says, hair

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Speaker 2: is everything. Hair is like we pretend that it isn't,

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Speaker 2: but it's everything, right.

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Speaker 1: The girl that got the horrible haircut, the sister that

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Speaker 1: gets French, French, it's French. Have you ever gotten a

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Speaker 1: horrible haircut?

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Speaker 2: The answer is yes, girl, girl? What do you think?

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Speaker 1: You and I have both experienced the trans cultural phenomenon

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Speaker 1: of leaving a hair salon, looking at yourself in a

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Speaker 1: reflective surface once and thinking should I kill myself?

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Speaker 2: Well? No, okay, So for me, that moment usually comes

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Speaker 2: three to five business days after the haircut. Like when

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Speaker 2: I leave the salon, I'm almost always like, I love it,

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Speaker 2: you know, looks great. This is what I wanted because

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Speaker 2: I think I've made this social contract with the stylist

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Speaker 2: to have that experience.

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Speaker 1: Okay, okay.

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Speaker 2: And then it's once I like wake up the next

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Speaker 2: day and see myself or wash my hair for the

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Speaker 2: first time and don't have a blowout anymore, or see

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Speaker 2: the color in different light that I'm like I need

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Speaker 2: to go run into oncoming trap. Yes, yes, No.

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Speaker 1: For me, it's completely immediate. It's the second I walk

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Speaker 1: outside and like, literally, look at my reflection in the

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Speaker 1: next door window, like it is and I actually, I

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Speaker 1: mean I've obviously I had a lot of suicidal haircuts,

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Speaker 1: but like the most recent one was actually I experienced

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Speaker 1: it kind of with you we're in. I had I

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Speaker 1: had a kind of more of a mullet shape for

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Speaker 1: a very long time, and it was pretty long, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, it's the end of the mullet. I

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Speaker 1: don't want it anymore, but I still want to keep

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Speaker 1: my hair long, So like, what do we do from here?

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Speaker 1: And we did the social contract your hairstylists, you know,

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Speaker 1: good take full rain, like a little creative control. And

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Speaker 1: then I walked out of this haircut looking like motherfucking

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Speaker 1: Lord far Quad and I was like, I am gonna yeah.

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Speaker 1: I was just like I was. I was devastated. But

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Speaker 1: the thing is, she was right. She was right the

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Speaker 1: whole time, and it's something she does a lot of

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Speaker 1: my friends. And what was she right about. She was

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Speaker 1: right about the shape of my hair. She was right

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Speaker 1: about what my hair needed to be, and that this

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Speaker 1: cut was a necessary means to an end. It's the

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Speaker 1: most recent haircut I've gotten. It was like months ago,

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Speaker 1: and it's now created the hair that I have today,

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Speaker 1: which is fabu.

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Speaker 2: That is something that does need to be spoken about.

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Speaker 2: Is like, some haircuts are not about an immediate result.

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Speaker 2: Some haircuts are transitional.

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Speaker 1: And what Dakota Dakota also goes to the same hairstylist

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Speaker 1: and what she said to me was sometimes gives you

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Speaker 1: the haircut that you need, not the haircut that you want.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that would it work for me?

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Speaker 1: You're like fundamentally against that.

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Speaker 2: No, I'm as No, I'm very open to having a

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Speaker 2: conversation with my stylist. I found like two sides, the

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Speaker 2: two sides of the spectrum don't work for me. I

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Speaker 2: don't like going to a hairstylist where I'm like, this

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Speaker 2: is what I want and they give me exactly that,

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Speaker 2: because I'm not the person who does hair so those

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Speaker 2: decisions should not be left one hundred percent up to

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Speaker 2: I also don't want to go to a hairstylist who

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Speaker 2: tells me what I need and doesn't listen to me.

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Speaker 1: With like a hand on the hip, like honey, we need.

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Speaker 2: To meet somewhere in the middle. I need to come.

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Speaker 2: Which is this is why I like watching I actually

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Speaker 2: was just watching one before I came here a hair

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Speaker 2: consultation video on TikTok where it's like, let me tell

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Speaker 2: you about kind of the look I'm going for, let

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Speaker 2: me tell you about my hair texture, let me tell

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Speaker 2: you how willing I am to style my hair, and

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Speaker 2: then let me give you some reference images and then

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Speaker 2: we'll figure out together what to create. Because I think, really,

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Speaker 2: if I can give anyone advice, like sure, we all

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Speaker 2: look at pictures of like celebrities or influencers or whatever

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Speaker 2: and are like, I want that copy pasted onto my head.

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Speaker 2: But that which it never works.

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Speaker 1: Doesn't work because the image that you're referencing is like

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Speaker 1: the most like wayfish fashion, like unclockable girl, or like

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Speaker 1: well it's like the one of the most their face

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Speaker 1: shape where it's like it just doesn't Their face shape

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Speaker 1: is not your face shape, their complexion is not your complexion,

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Speaker 1: their texture is not your text.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. And then also it's like, if you're looking at

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Speaker 2: pictures of celebrities, you're looking at pictures of the most

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Speaker 2: beautiful people in the world in the best lighting possible,

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Speaker 2: like literally teams of people creating their image just so

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Speaker 2: even just their face and hair. So I think it's

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Speaker 2: good to look at photos and like figure out what

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Speaker 2: you like about them without being too literal, Like I

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Speaker 2: like this tone in the way it compliments her skin.

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Speaker 2: I like the width of or the length of her bangs.

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Speaker 2: I like, you know, like they're the layers they have

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Speaker 2: in their hair. But not you just can't copy paste

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Speaker 2: anyone else's hair onto.

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Speaker 1: Yourself, no, unless you were awake, right unless you are

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Speaker 1: are And even then it's you know, well, okay, you

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Speaker 1: and I are actually weighing some decisions on future hair decisions.

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Speaker 1: But like, before we get to that, I kind of

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Speaker 1: want to dip into the hair of past. Oh baby,

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Speaker 1: worst hair, worst hair face pre transistion, go.

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Speaker 2: Huh.

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Speaker 1: Mine was the silver I have.

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Speaker 2: Your silver era is very iconic to me, specifically.

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Speaker 1: It looked really good when it was like when it

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Speaker 1: was like short, manicured, like I was kind of giving,

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Speaker 1: like I had the kind of like fied eye bro fade,

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Speaker 1: Like if I was white, it would have been like

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Speaker 1: the neo Nazi kind of fade, but I'm not, so

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Speaker 1: it didn't give them.

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Speaker 2: The pictures are incredible and virgins. I definitely recommend you

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Speaker 2: go really far back.

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Speaker 1: Yeah I've actually archived.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well I will supply them.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah, yeah, but I also so once the

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Speaker 1: hair grew out, it looked like this mane of silver hair.

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Speaker 1: And it wasn't like emo girl. It wasn't glam, it

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Speaker 1: wasn't it was just mangy, or was it. It was

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Speaker 1: like it was like grayish, bluish, purplish yellow.

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Speaker 2: We all know, we all know the vibe. But it's

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Speaker 2: giving gay person in a crisis.

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Speaker 1: Just as a quick aside, men must stop getting neo

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Speaker 1: Nazi haircuts, as someone who used to be a man,

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Speaker 1: and as someone who used to get them, stop getting

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Speaker 1: like the blind barber fade like the kind of like.

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Speaker 2: It's so like but you know, a high and tight

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Speaker 2: it works.

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Speaker 1: No, it doesn't.

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Speaker 2: It works on some people.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't work on white people. It just doesn't. It's

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Speaker 1: it's it's it looks, it's boring. It's just it doesn't

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Speaker 1: say anything about the person.

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Speaker 2: But some people don't need their haircut to say anything

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Speaker 2: about them. I don't. I could not imagine a world

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Speaker 2: in which that is true, but it is true for people.

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Speaker 1: They don't care.

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Speaker 2: It was a time where you thought your hair told

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Speaker 2: told something about the well, well, I want to answer

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Speaker 2: your question about my worst haircuts, That's what I was asking. So,

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Speaker 2: I mean, let me so, I think more so than you,

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Speaker 2: I have been on a hair journey my entire life,

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Speaker 2: night life. I've not only nightlife, but like when I

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Speaker 2: was a teenager, and I know I've talked about this

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Speaker 2: on the podcast before, probably like ages ago when we

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Speaker 2: did our hot topic episode. Dyeing my hair was one

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Speaker 2: of the first things I did as like an adolescent

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Speaker 2: where I was like, this is about my individuality, you know,

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Speaker 2: like I've been dyeing my hair since I was twelve thirteen.

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Speaker 2: So my hair has been every color, and I do

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Speaker 2: mean every color, like every natural color and every unnatural.

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Speaker 1: Color, blonde, blonde.

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Speaker 2: Brown, black, green, green, yellow, red, orange, purple, blue, blue, wow,

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Speaker 2: everything never a rainbow moment.

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Speaker 1: Come on, eternal sunch out of the spot is.

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Speaker 2: Mine, I would say. So, I would say, like one

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Speaker 2: of my worst hair moments is something that also has

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Speaker 2: been spoken about. This we've also spoken about before or

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Speaker 2: with Honey Pluton. When I did get my hair chemically

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Speaker 2: straightened in high school at thee at the Red Kid Lounge,

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Speaker 2: not not at the Red Kid Loud, but at the

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Speaker 2: salon that was at the mall. I don't know that

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Speaker 2: that was the worst one, but it, uh, it was

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Speaker 2: probably up there. It's probably it's probably up there. And

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Speaker 2: then you know, I mean like boy life. I mean,

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Speaker 2: maybe my worst haircut looking back on it now, is

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Speaker 2: the year before I transitioned. I had sort of a mullet,

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Speaker 2: and then I had done sort of that like monk

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Speaker 2: thing where you shave back the hairline a little bit,

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Speaker 2: but then you still have like a bang kind of

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, yeah, it was, it was. It was weird.

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Speaker 1: It's so hard to imagine. Yeah, I don't, I really,

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Speaker 1: I never I don't know anything about you pre transition.

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Speaker 2: I don't even do you want to look at Do

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Speaker 2: you want to get some old phone? No?

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, no please, no no.

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Speaker 2: I think it's I think it'll be fun. No.

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Speaker 1: I know they're fun for you, but they're not fun

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Speaker 1: for me. But I don't even know your dead name.

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Speaker 2: Girl, You don't really, it's surprising.

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Speaker 1: I have a guess, but I actually don't know.

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Speaker 2: I if I can find, let's guess each other's. I mean,

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Speaker 2: I mean, I think my my hair was always like

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Speaker 2: shaggy was kind of always the moment.

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Speaker 1: And then Scooby really hit it.

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Speaker 2: Let me show you. I'll show you a picture of

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Speaker 2: me in college, and I.

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Speaker 1: To see this. This is non consensual.

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Speaker 2: You really don't.

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Speaker 1: On the Patreon, I've already seen a photo of you

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Speaker 1: as like a high school boy, and even that was

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Speaker 1: but this is me as a college boy, and it's

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Speaker 1: actually like okaute, Okay, okay, isn't that crazy? It's really jarring,

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Speaker 1: isn't it weird? You look really cute?

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Speaker 2: I know, right, yeah you do. I have had some

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Speaker 2: moments I like, don't. I like, really don't have a

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Speaker 2: problem with looking at pre transition photos.

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Speaker 1: Don't. So that was my boundary cross.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry. I I like, I know that we're sort

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Speaker 2: of straying off topic, but we do that on this show.

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Speaker 1: Well, you have hair on your face, this photo.

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Speaker 2: Said I. I don't mind looking at pro transition photos of

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Speaker 2: myself because like it's actually like kind of nice for

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Speaker 2: me to look back nown and be like I wasn't

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Speaker 2: so bad. Yeah, like I was kind of I was

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Speaker 2: kind of cute, Like I'd fuck me.

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Speaker 1: That's not the experience I'm having. I obviously don't have

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Speaker 1: a problem looking at pre transition photos because I've only

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Speaker 1: come out a year and still for a year. I've

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Speaker 1: only been out for a year, and I still kind

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Speaker 1: of look the same. But I I I do cringe

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Speaker 1: so fiercely at old photos on myself because because you're

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Speaker 1: able to, like, I don't know, photos like that, Like

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Speaker 1: if I looked at my college version of that photo,

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Speaker 1: I would just be immediately transported to like how out

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Speaker 1: of touch I was with like myself and my body

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Speaker 1: and my personhood and like so it's like kind of wonky,

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Speaker 1: but like, no, it's it is, I do. I we've

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Speaker 1: both gotten so much hotter, Like we both have glowed

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Speaker 1: up so hard.

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Speaker 2: I thank you, thank you for saying that, both about

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Speaker 2: yourself and about me. I don't always feel it like

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Speaker 2: I felt. So I felt that so much more at

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Speaker 2: the beginning of my transition because it was so like

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Speaker 2: it was something I had to believe just to like

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Speaker 2: survive every day. Because okay, so here's a hair thing.

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Speaker 2: Right before so as I said, I had that crazy

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Speaker 2: like shaved back hairline. And when I decided to like

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Speaker 2: when I like, the whole year leading up to deciding

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Speaker 2: to transition, like I had been really like playing with

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Speaker 2: my gender and like trying all these different forms of

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Speaker 2: expression and like I had kind of long hair, and

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Speaker 2: then during a performance at and I also had, I

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Speaker 2: had fish hair, and during a performance at a party

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Speaker 2: that Reefe Royalty used to throw at TNT, I buzzed

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Speaker 2: all my hair off. And so I started my transition

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Speaker 2: with no hair.

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Speaker 1: What did you wear? Wicks?

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Speaker 2: I to parties sometimes, but like I had, but like

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Speaker 2: I had because of that the first two years in

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Speaker 2: my transition, which, like like I've said before, like I

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Speaker 2: look back on the time, it's like some of the

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Speaker 2: worst moments of my life because I was like, so

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Speaker 2: I was like my my my mentality was like so

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Speaker 2: at odds with my presentation, and that only made me

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Speaker 2: like push harder. And I was like just not giving

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Speaker 2: physically what I was giving mentally and instead of like

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Speaker 2: being a and I don't know, that's like very complicated

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Speaker 2: and and I look back on it now and I

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Speaker 2: don't cringe because like I know that it was necessary

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Speaker 2: for my survival and it was like doing that allowed

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Speaker 2: me to get to the point where I didn't have

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Speaker 2: to do that anymore. But I really kind of fucked

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Speaker 2: myself over because if I had kept that mullet, I

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Speaker 2: at least would have had a little hair to like

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Speaker 2: toss around when I was like stomping down myrtle Broadway.

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Speaker 1: Starting your transition bolt is actually kind of a serve.

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Speaker 1: Were you like Nonminaria first? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: And I also in that same fold I'm not gonna

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Speaker 2: show it to you, but and that same folder I

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Speaker 2: was I had that photos in. I have a folder

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Speaker 2: in my phone in my phone albums of just it

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Speaker 2: says old of photos, like pre transition photos, like not

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Speaker 2: like some baby photos, but mostly like adulthood photos. And

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Speaker 2: there's one that I took like right after not only

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Speaker 2: I cut all my hair off, but like totally like

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Speaker 2: shaved my face like raw for the first time. And

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Speaker 2: like looking at that, like it does it like a

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Speaker 2: hairless Yeah, like a no, like a hairless cat cat.

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Speaker 2: And it doesn't. It doesn't hurt to look at it.

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Speaker 2: But I I just look at it, and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: why did you start like that girl? Because I was

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Speaker 2: going crazy. Transitioning is crazy, It's fucking crazy. Every hair

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Speaker 2: is such a big.

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Speaker 1: Part of it. It's essential. It's an essential part of

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Speaker 1: the movement.

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Speaker 2: So like, Okay, I'm going to bring us to like

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Speaker 2: a dark I know we're getting kind of head well,

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Speaker 2: we're getting to the light place after, We'll get to after.

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Speaker 2: So So when I was like a year after I

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Speaker 2: had started transitioning, I was raped, and I like was real.

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Speaker 2: I had like a really like dark, dark, like intense

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Speaker 2: period of trauma afterwards, and I like came very close

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Speaker 2: to a suicide attempt. And one of the things that

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Speaker 2: I did to pull myself out of it was like

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Speaker 2: list all of the reasons why I wanted to be alive,

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Speaker 2: and one of the ones I listed was like, I

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Speaker 2: want to live enough for my hair to grow past

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Speaker 2: my shoulders. Oh my god, you make me cry. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and I did.

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Speaker 1: I'm literally, oh my gosh, shut up, but sorry. I

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Speaker 1: was making so many suicide jokes earlier, I mean sue

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Speaker 1: jokes like help you get through the cold reality.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely, I make suicide jokes all the time. And

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Speaker 2: I'm I like also came close to a suicide attempt,

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Speaker 2: like not that long ago.

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Speaker 1: So and you know, I okay. The thing about hair

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Speaker 1: is actually your here can completely reinvigorate your head space

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Speaker 1: and life like a good.

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Speaker 2: Hair lip or it's on the space on your head.

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Speaker 1: Yes, and like even like beyond like walking int of

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Speaker 1: a haircut. Sometimes it's just like after you've worn hair

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Speaker 1: for a certain time and then all of a sudden

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Speaker 1: you look and you're like, oh my god, like this

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Speaker 1: is my hair, Like my hair's finally arrived where it

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Speaker 1: needs to be. Like I feel like I had that

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Speaker 1: recently my hair. Yeah, I'm pretty sure if only, Like

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Speaker 1: I mean so in high school I did get that

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Speaker 1: kind of like Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire era,

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Speaker 1: like skater boy shag, like I had that hair. Oh

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Speaker 1: you did. Okay. That was a big hair decision. And

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Speaker 1: then maybe my second most important, my second hair decision

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Speaker 1: was to go silver, which was like a big movement

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Speaker 1: for me. And then after I I was silver for

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Speaker 1: like a year and a half, I was so sick

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Speaker 1: of like shoveling money, time and energy into like maintaining

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Speaker 1: it because like never ever ever die, Like dying your

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Speaker 1: whole head is crazy. If you have black hair, it's

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Speaker 1: just not worth the energy and pain. And also just

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Speaker 1: like I'm sick, there's it's not there's not a ton.

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Speaker 2: Of success so much and it damages your hair and

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Speaker 2: it gets.

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Speaker 1: So bad, so yellow. And anyways, after that, I shaved

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Speaker 1: my bult and that was kind of the last hair

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Speaker 1: decision I made before I figured out that I was

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Speaker 1: trans and I like my kind of not as dark

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Speaker 1: as your period, but like my darker period was like

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Speaker 1: years and years and years and years of doing nothing

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Speaker 1: with my hair and wearing the same outfit every day

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Speaker 1: because I used to have I was in that phase

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Speaker 1: of like pretty much wearing the same like you know,

359
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Speaker 1: all black whatever outfit every day and having this mustache

360
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Speaker 1: that I didn't even like, reminding me of my dad.

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Speaker 1: I still don't even know.

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Speaker 2: Why I had facial hour.

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Speaker 1: Why did you have facial hair? I still because I

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Speaker 1: wanted to be fuckable, Like I still to this day

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Speaker 1: don't know why I had a mustache.

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Speaker 2: It was about being fuckable and right, I mean the

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Speaker 2: what I what I've always thought about, like specifically, the

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Speaker 2: year and some chain before I transitioned, I had like

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Speaker 2: the most facial hair I've ever had. Yeah, and I

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Speaker 2: and I think it was because, like what I've reflected

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Speaker 2: on now is I needed to lean as far as

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Speaker 2: I could into masculine presentation basically to see if that

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Speaker 2: was real, like if that was who I actually was,

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Speaker 2: Like Okay, I don't like because I had been feeling

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Speaker 2: like I had always played with gender, like as a

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Speaker 2: club kid, like I like presented like like very fem

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Speaker 2: sometimes in those kinds of spaces, and like did things

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Speaker 2: that were like drag adjacent but like more performance already.

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Speaker 2: But I also like you know, being like I was

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Speaker 2: like like being a little hairy, like being fat, you know,

381
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Speaker 2: like also like existed in that like cub and like

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Speaker 2: that was me experimenting, like trying to figure out, like, okay,

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Speaker 2: with what I've been given, let me take it as

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Speaker 2: far as it will go and see if that's the

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Speaker 2: gender thing that feels real to me, or if the

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Speaker 2: other stuff it was is what feels real. So like

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Speaker 2: that year I was like had long facial hair. I

388
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Speaker 2: was like go into the eagle and like you know,

389
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Speaker 2: wearing leather and like going to a fairy sanctuary and

390
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Speaker 2: like getting pissed on at the outdoor shower. And like

391
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Speaker 2: my my friend and I who used to throw parties,

392
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Speaker 2: we started throwing a party called Daddy, and I was

393
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Speaker 2: like doing all of this like gender performance, and it

394
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Speaker 2: all felt incredibly hollow. Yes, it felt so retroactively, you're like,

395
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Speaker 2: and I like had to swing that far in that direction, yes,

396
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Speaker 2: to realize that that wasn't who I wanted to be,

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Speaker 2: and like I also and so like then I tried

398
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Speaker 2: swinging to the middle and being like, Okay, well maybe

399
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Speaker 2: I'm somewhere in the middle, so let me get this

400
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Speaker 2: weird like you know, haircut and like you know where

401
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:08,719
Speaker 2: bad eyeshadow, and and like you know use like you know,

402
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:12,199
Speaker 2: neutral pronouns and like that didn't really feel either, And

403
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Speaker 2: so then I had to ask myself, like, are these

404
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:18,440
Speaker 2: things just like a costume that is insulating me from

405
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Speaker 2: like the truth of who I am or who like

406
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Speaker 2: I've always wanted to be. And that was the answer,

407
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Speaker 2: And like once I answered it, I like couldn't look

408
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Speaker 2: away from it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like how could I Like it's been there.

410
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Speaker 1: It's almost like it's been there the whole time in

411
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Speaker 1: a weird way.

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Speaker 2: Of course, the conversation about hair with two trans people

413
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Speaker 2: being a conversation about and because hair is trans, it's

414
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Speaker 2: trans period hairs trans trans is hair, trans is hair.

415
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:50,200
Speaker 2: It's like trans is having hair, not having hair, removing hair,

416
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Speaker 2: growing hair like.

417
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Speaker 1: It is hitting hair transplanted.

418
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Speaker 2: It's so hair is so incredibly integral to your identity.

419
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Speaker 2: It's trans.

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Speaker 1: I want to talk about any person. I want to

421
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,080
Speaker 1: talk about hair body mod but before we move away

422
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Speaker 1: from this little dark this little dark moment, I want

423
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Speaker 1: to also, like, just what you just said was so validating,

424
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Speaker 1: Like hollow was the word I the years that I

425
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Speaker 1: spent like wearing the same, like having the same haircut,

426
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Speaker 1: like my lesbian barber giving me the exact same haircut

427
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:21,920
Speaker 1: for six seven years, wearing the same outfit and a

428
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Speaker 1: mustache that I retrospect retroactively, I'm like, definitely was like

429
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Speaker 1: I was thinking about maybe being fuckable, but honestly, I

430
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Speaker 1: didn't even feel fuckable. I just felt like I was

431
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,040
Speaker 1: trying to hide my face because I didn't like looking

432
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Speaker 1: at my face, and my mustache was something to distract

433
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Speaker 1: me and others from the fact that I didn't like

434
00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:45,560
Speaker 1: my face and didn't feel attractive. And and like I

435
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Speaker 1: I think that maybe I also really liked the kind

436
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Speaker 1: of vintage vintagey like castro clone, like porn stash like

437
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:55,800
Speaker 1: and I did do it before. That was cool, by

438
00:23:55,840 --> 00:24:00,439
Speaker 1: the way, but no, like I now, I'm trying so

439
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,920
Speaker 1: desperately to remove all my hair and grow it all

440
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,000
Speaker 1: on top of my head and and maybe get like

441
00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:08,359
Speaker 1: hair transplants in the corners of my forehead and I

442
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:08,679
Speaker 1: don't know.

443
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:12,360
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I like they're like I'm able to look

444
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:15,240
Speaker 2: at like the photo I showed you, and like I

445
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:18,840
Speaker 2: know who that person was, and I do feel a

446
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,480
Speaker 2: connection with them when I look at the photos of

447
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,840
Speaker 2: like the year leading up to me deciding to transition

448
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:28,800
Speaker 2: and then the year like immediately following it. That's the

449
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:31,160
Speaker 2: person who I'm like, I don't know who you are

450
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:36,640
Speaker 2: because like I don't understand the either like the extreme

451
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 2: in one direction or like the like chrysalis.

452
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:42,359
Speaker 1: Uh, like I hate the.

453
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:47,320
Speaker 2: Metaphor, but that is that is who I feel so

454
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:50,479
Speaker 2: far away from because it's like that person was so

455
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:53,359
Speaker 2: confused about who they were and was in so much pain,

456
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:57,639
Speaker 2: and like the hair was such a manifestation, was a

457
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:02,040
Speaker 2: tranifestation of that. You can see pain. Hair is pain.

458
00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:04,479
Speaker 1: Oh my god, tell me, tell tell me that I

459
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,639
Speaker 1: still have not gone to electrolysis and I'm about to

460
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 1: start that journey.

461
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:10,760
Speaker 2: Oh my god. Yeah, have you did you decide where

462
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:11,320
Speaker 2: you're gonna go?

463
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:13,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, my friend, I have a lot of friends that

464
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:15,680
Speaker 1: all recommended me to the same place, which I am

465
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,080
Speaker 1: going to gate keep for now.

466
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:18,800
Speaker 2: Well, you'll have to tell me how it is.

467
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm I'm trying to get my health insurance to

468
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:23,880
Speaker 1: pay for it. This is an interesting but anyways, hair

469
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 1: electrolysis versus laser, that is interesting to me.

470
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 2: Like, well, electrolysis hurts so much more because laser is

471
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 2: very quick. Yeah, an electrolysis like you pay by the

472
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:37,680
Speaker 2: time increment because they pay by the hair because they

473
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:42,199
Speaker 2: go in and zap each hair follicle individual and you

474
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:42,640
Speaker 2: and I.

475
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 1: Know somebody who like clinically knocked herself out to experience

476
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 1: electrolysis because the pain, which I would like to do. Yeah,

477
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:54,800
Speaker 1: I want a doctor that will let me be unconscious

478
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:55,679
Speaker 1: during it.

479
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:59,360
Speaker 2: I want someone to come into my home while I'm sleeping.

480
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:03,360
Speaker 1: Knock me out. Yeah, yeah, knock me clean out.

481
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,280
Speaker 2: And well, no, I want to I want I want

482
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:11,200
Speaker 2: to take like three ambient and then wake up, not three. Yeah,

483
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 2: and then have you ever are you gonna do laser

484
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:17,480
Speaker 2: anywhere else on your body?

485
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:21,680
Speaker 1: Yeah? I it really depends on how well everything else goes.

486
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:23,680
Speaker 2: But if you know you can't do it anywhere you've

487
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:24,879
Speaker 2: been tattooed.

488
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:29,480
Speaker 1: I'm gonna that's the problem. What Yeah, that's really good

489
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:31,440
Speaker 1: to know. But that's fine because I really only want

490
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:33,639
Speaker 1: laser on my whole and maybe on my chest. But

491
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:36,800
Speaker 1: I I'm not really that's more like kind of like

492
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,159
Speaker 1: fun money like next step because I actually, I mean

493
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:41,000
Speaker 1: obviously I don't. I just like shave the hair on

494
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,400
Speaker 1: my whole and I don't mind. I like I when

495
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:45,720
Speaker 1: I trim the hair on my chest, I don't mind it.

496
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:47,639
Speaker 1: I don't mind what it does.

497
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 2: I never shaved my whole. Oh really, and I had

498
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:51,640
Speaker 2: someone recently.

499
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,440
Speaker 1: But your hair, your probably whole hair, your hair hoole,

500
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 1: your hair whole, your whole hair, your whole hair is

501
00:26:57,800 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 1: probably so fine.

502
00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:04,280
Speaker 2: And maybe maybe, but I did have someone. This has

503
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 2: happened a couple of times. But I can recall one

504
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,879
Speaker 2: recent instance where someone was like, we were making plants

505
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:12,000
Speaker 2: to hook them, and they were like, are you gonna, like,

506
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:15,440
Speaker 2: you know, are you gonna be like smooth and hairless

507
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 2: for me? And I was like, I would never groom

508
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:20,440
Speaker 2: myself based on someone else's requirement.

509
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:23,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, never on principle. On principle, I would, however,

510
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,920
Speaker 1: so that guy should slide into my DMS, I do.

511
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:29,880
Speaker 1: There is something about like when if a guy's coming

512
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,119
Speaker 1: over and it's a guy who's into like a girl

513
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:35,040
Speaker 1: like me. I do want to kind of be like

514
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,399
Speaker 1: buffed and puffed and trimped and talked, you know what

515
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 1: I mean. I mean, I'm not talking, but I taught.

516
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:43,679
Speaker 2: I used to. I used to feel that way. I

517
00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 2: used to put so much effort into like when especially

518
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:51,240
Speaker 2: when I was hooking up with people and like being

519
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:58,359
Speaker 2: as cute and femb as possible, And now I like, hey,

520
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:03,119
Speaker 2: I don't hey, b I don't care. I mean a

521
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:06,719
Speaker 2: big part of it is like I'm actively not looking

522
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 2: to have sex with like chasers with straight people. I'm

523
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,959
Speaker 2: like primarily trying to have sex with queer people. So

524
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,639
Speaker 2: I like would hope that queer people like don't care

525
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:19,879
Speaker 2: about that as much. And then also like I don't

526
00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:21,680
Speaker 2: care about it, yeah, as much.

527
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,439
Speaker 1: You actually have helped you. You were one of the

528
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:28,239
Speaker 1: primary people to like continually reorient my thinking around that,

529
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:31,439
Speaker 1: being like you gotta stop prepping and buffing and puffing

530
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 1: for guys that don't show up, because that happened to

531
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:36,440
Speaker 1: me so frequently in Los Angeles, Like fuck every man

532
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 1: in Los Angeles who did that to me? But like

533
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:42,719
Speaker 1: nobody likes to like douche and go through the whole

534
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:46,240
Speaker 1: hour long ringer of like looking like a presentable, clean

535
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 1: person for somebody that doesn't show up but now and

536
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 1: so I don't do that anymore for other men. I

537
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:56,280
Speaker 1: do it for me if I'm doing it, yeah, and

538
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:58,440
Speaker 1: if I And the only reason I'm doing it is

539
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 1: because I want to feel powerful. I don't care if

540
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:05,440
Speaker 1: that is what they desire. I don't care if that's

541
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 1: a need that they want. It's like I'm using my

542
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:13,920
Speaker 1: kind of feminine beauty and glow to you know, woo them.

543
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 1: And it's also like honestly on like the facial hair

544
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:18,719
Speaker 1: of it all, and just like how I present as

545
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 1: a person, because sometimes they feel totally crazy just talking

546
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:25,240
Speaker 1: about being trans in general. It's like sometimes they feel

547
00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 1: like I have kind of reverse gender dysphoria where I

548
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:31,000
Speaker 1: think I'm like way more soft and cunt than I

549
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:33,680
Speaker 1: actually am, and like sometimes that works out for you.

550
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:35,640
Speaker 1: It's kind of like a Jedi mind trick. I mean

551
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:37,520
Speaker 1: a lot of being trands is like a Jedi mind

552
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:38,920
Speaker 1: trick that you have to do on yourself.

553
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:40,600
Speaker 2: Well you have to, and like I mean, the thing

554
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:45,440
Speaker 2: is like you did come out like last year, and

555
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:49,080
Speaker 2: you like I'm I'm telling you, like I think, especially

556
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:51,840
Speaker 2: coming out as an adult, because like now we live

557
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:53,960
Speaker 2: in a world where people are coming out younger and younger,

558
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:57,120
Speaker 2: and like, once you've like lived in the world like

559
00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:00,800
Speaker 2: with your body looking a certain way, like you really

560
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:03,840
Speaker 2: have to kind of beat a little Delulu. Oh, you

561
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:07,240
Speaker 2: have a while until you like kind of catch up

562
00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:09,480
Speaker 2: to where you want to be. And like, obviously neither

563
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 2: of us are saying like there's only one right way

564
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:15,400
Speaker 2: to present as a transperson, as a trans woman, like whatever,

565
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:22,680
Speaker 2: But when you do want that, sometimes you gotta lie

566
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:24,880
Speaker 2: to your It's not that I'm saying that you're lying,

567
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:28,800
Speaker 2: but like sometimes you just have to like fucking believe

568
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 2: it so much so that other people will too, or

569
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:35,200
Speaker 2: so that even if other people don't believe it, at

570
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:37,840
Speaker 2: least you do, and so like in your mind that

571
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:40,600
Speaker 2: makes them the stupid ones for not getting it.

572
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean, Delulu is the end. D Lulu

573
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:48,120
Speaker 1: is my life and brand like that is like how

574
00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:50,800
Speaker 1: I operate, Like you know that, like kind of one

575
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:53,280
Speaker 1: of my best and worst qualities is that I truly

576
00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:56,920
Speaker 1: fiercely believe that things can happen when they truly will

577
00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:59,560
Speaker 1: not happen. You know, but sometimes you have to like

578
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:02,760
Speaker 1: believe in it in order to get even like a

579
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:07,080
Speaker 1: fraction of close to what you want. And like in

580
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 1: terms of like hair, like I mean you and I

581
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 1: are very lucky to be in a Brooklyn trans bubble

582
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:17,080
Speaker 1: where like I can go to bars and be among

583
00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:20,880
Speaker 1: friends and being among gay people who will actually see

584
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:24,200
Speaker 1: me and acknowledge my gender and use my pronouns, and

585
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:27,120
Speaker 1: I don't even have to ask, like and I didn't

586
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:29,040
Speaker 1: even have to inform them that was something that was

587
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:32,000
Speaker 1: disseminated to them, or maybe they got a clue based

588
00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 1: on how it is presenting. But I do fiercely believe that,

589
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 1: among other things, my hair right now is like part

590
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:44,600
Speaker 1: of what really helps people see me. Not that gender

591
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:47,000
Speaker 1: should be so tied up in performance. And that's like

592
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,920
Speaker 1: a whole other conversation that we don't need to talk about.

593
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 2: Like gender, it's a way that you telegraph to the world,

594
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:54,760
Speaker 2: Like it's how you clue them in. And I also

595
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:58,400
Speaker 2: think it's not necessarily just like a Brooklyn queer bubble.

596
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:01,360
Speaker 2: It's like we live in New York. Yes, like people

597
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,560
Speaker 2: here are used to the existence of trans people.

598
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 1: Yes, like you will walk out the door and see

599
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:09,120
Speaker 1: them getting coffee, like going on a jog, like you know,

600
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 1: I don't know what people do.

601
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:14,960
Speaker 2: I think like people here, when they see someone who's

602
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 2: maybe like their initial perception of them, based on whatever reason,

603
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:22,640
Speaker 2: doesn't match up to what it seems they are trying

604
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:27,560
Speaker 2: to inform the world about them. They instead, I think

605
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:31,360
Speaker 2: here people in major metropolitan cities like New York, people

606
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 2: are more likely to be like, Okay, I'll go with

607
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 2: what this person is clearly trying to do, rather than

608
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 2: like what I'm assuming.

609
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:41,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, exactly.

610
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:45,160
Speaker 2: H And hair is such a huge part of it,

611
00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:48,720
Speaker 2: Like I you know, I have there are days when

612
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 2: I feel like really gross and like like bricky, and

613
00:32:56,760 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 2: the fact that I have this like long hair is

614
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:04,480
Speaker 2: like a shield that I get to wear out into

615
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:06,760
Speaker 2: the world that I'm like, at the very least I

616
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:07,280
Speaker 2: have this.

617
00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:10,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, and even I mean, my facial hair is like

618
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:12,600
Speaker 1: my biggest battle. It's like the thing that I hate

619
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:16,520
Speaker 1: the most about my face up from frequently and I had.

620
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 2: And it's just never gonna be gone, Like that is

621
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:23,960
Speaker 2: just reality, Like shut up, no, I'm dealing with your

622
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:27,960
Speaker 2: hair is gone? Are you kidding? I can so much.

623
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 1: Seeing I've never seen a single hair on your face.

624
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:33,920
Speaker 2: That's crazy to me because I see it.

625
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 1: I'm sitting because like up next to your face, so

626
00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:38,600
Speaker 1: now you see it. No, not right now, I'm saying,

627
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaker 1: only when I am like literally like putting my eyes

628
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 1: next to your face because you just told me that

629
00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:47,160
Speaker 1: you just had laser and so you haven't shaved in

630
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:49,760
Speaker 1: four days. Is the only time where I have seen

631
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:51,400
Speaker 1: hair on your face.

632
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 2: You will see this me right now? Is like I

633
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:59,760
Speaker 2: almost like I almost shaved this morning because this is

634
00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:03,960
Speaker 2: like more it's it's gotten better recently because I had

635
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:07,440
Speaker 2: laser again, but and also because I've just kind of

636
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:11,799
Speaker 2: stopped caring as much about going out, like feeling like

637
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 2: I have visible facial hair. But like this where I'm

638
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:18,640
Speaker 2: at now is kind of like the last day into

639
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 2: a cycle that I would want to do that and

640
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:24,520
Speaker 2: something toxic is like I do like orient the way

641
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:29,720
Speaker 2: I schedule my life still around shaving. That's all around

642
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:32,680
Speaker 2: shaving and also around washing my hair. That's not toxic

643
00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:34,960
Speaker 2: at all. That's totally normal. Like the way the way

644
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,080
Speaker 2: that I only I will only smoke a cigarette the

645
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:39,360
Speaker 2: day that I'm washing my hair. It's like also not

646
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:41,359
Speaker 2: toxic I like to think about the Like if I'm

647
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:44,400
Speaker 2: making plans with someone for dinner, I'm like, oh, like

648
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 2: I should make plans like the day after. I know

649
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:51,759
Speaker 2: I'm going to shave the next time, you know, so

650
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 2: like I don't get myself in like a bad cycle.

651
00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:57,800
Speaker 2: You know, like I'm getting I'm getting my hair done

652
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,319
Speaker 2: on Thursday, and I'm like, okay, I'm I know I'm

653
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:02,600
Speaker 2: gonna want to like take photos, like make a TikTok,

654
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:05,440
Speaker 2: so I should make sure that like I'm like not

655
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:06,719
Speaker 2: clocky that day.

656
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:09,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I'm definitely shaving for like any front

657
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:12,760
Speaker 1: facing camera video I'm doing generally, and then like figuring

658
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:15,760
Speaker 1: out how to like cover up like my beard shadow,

659
00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:19,160
Speaker 1: which will go away one day, right.

660
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:25,280
Speaker 2: You will. You will be shocked one like the first

661
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:27,719
Speaker 2: time you have or like the next time you have

662
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:34,480
Speaker 2: like a successful laser electrolysis or whatever, like and that

663
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:38,879
Speaker 2: when you shave and like the shadow isn't immediately there,

664
00:35:39,000 --> 00:36:09,440
Speaker 2: like it will be a very big moment. Okay, so

665
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:12,359
Speaker 2: oh future haion, Okay, future hair decisions. So I mean

666
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:15,360
Speaker 2: this episode will come out after this has happened. But

667
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:19,480
Speaker 2: I have a hair appointment on Thursday. I have I'm

668
00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:21,959
Speaker 2: really happy with the person who does my hair now.

669
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:24,799
Speaker 2: I like kind of when I moved back to New York,

670
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,279
Speaker 2: I'd been seeing someone in LA who, like I kind

671
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 2: of liked, but he was kind of the person I

672
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:33,360
Speaker 2: was talking about before who he was more like he

673
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 2: gave me exactly what I asked for rather than giving

674
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:40,920
Speaker 2: his opinion and like having a conversation about it. This

675
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,239
Speaker 2: person who I work with now at the salon the

676
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 2: Birdhouse in Bushwick, which is like literally the only reason

677
00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:48,279
Speaker 2: I will go to Bushwick is to go to the

678
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:51,960
Speaker 2: salon because I have a really amazing hairstylist. Her name

679
00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:59,759
Speaker 2: is Drenne, and she it's always like very collaborative and

680
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:03,880
Speaker 2: when we talk when we do my hair, and like

681
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:06,759
Speaker 2: we've gotten into a good cycle of like maintenance and

682
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:11,160
Speaker 2: also okay, so also I have broken my cycle with her,

683
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:15,520
Speaker 2: of the the cycle that I had gotten myself into,

684
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:19,319
Speaker 2: which was specifically about hair color. And you know that

685
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:22,000
Speaker 2: I used to do this, so it was always like

686
00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:27,239
Speaker 2: basically even even pre transition, like I did this like

687
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:29,359
Speaker 2: when I was when I was presenting as a boy.

688
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 2: It would be red in the sum, red in the fall,

689
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:37,799
Speaker 2: dark in the winter, blonde in the summer and then

690
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:41,799
Speaker 2: usually like late summer, when the blonde was growing out,

691
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 2: I would do like a fun color.

692
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:46,520
Speaker 1: And it doesn't matter what year it is, Rose will

693
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:49,400
Speaker 1: still ask the internet if she should go blonde or

694
00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:52,520
Speaker 1: go red but this or if you should have bangs.

695
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:58,400
Speaker 2: But this year, I really like firmly made the decision

696
00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:02,879
Speaker 2: that my hair is meant to be or like I

697
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,840
Speaker 2: feel the most me when I have red hair or

698
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:10,320
Speaker 2: like reddish hair. And I even like I went blonder

699
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:13,400
Speaker 2: for the summer, and like a month into it, I

700
00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:15,480
Speaker 2: was like, no, this isn't right, Like I have to

701
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:18,959
Speaker 2: I have to break the cycle. And so now it's

702
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,160
Speaker 2: like it's always going to be read, Like the tone

703
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:23,080
Speaker 2: might change, but it's always going.

704
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,160
Speaker 1: To be read, and then maybe the shape might change.

705
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:29,359
Speaker 2: The shape might change. I have been I have been

706
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 2: pretty seriously considering bangs.

707
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 1: And you can't see right now, but Rose has a

708
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:39,000
Speaker 1: knife to her throat and she is threatening.

709
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:44,520
Speaker 2: I know, like the bank thought like came from a

710
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:49,760
Speaker 2: dark place at first, because of the recent mental trauma

711
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:50,640
Speaker 2: I've been enduring.

712
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:52,760
Speaker 1: She's like, I swear to God, I'm gonna get bangs.

713
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 2: But now I've been doing something. I've been looking. I've

714
00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:59,000
Speaker 2: been spending a lot of my time recently looking at

715
00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:02,319
Speaker 2: old photos of my and I, well, like from the

716
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 2: past couple of years, and I specifically went and looked

717
00:39:05,640 --> 00:39:09,040
Speaker 2: at all the photos of myself where I had bangs

718
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:13,440
Speaker 2: from the past couple of years, and I do really

719
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 2: like how they look on me. At the same time,

720
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:21,400
Speaker 2: like I do like my hair the way it currently

721
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:24,880
Speaker 2: is kind of I think what I've realized is like

722
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:28,399
Speaker 2: the I like the way I look with bangs, They're

723
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 2: not always the most functional for my hair texture and

724
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:37,360
Speaker 2: my lifestyle because I'm a forehead sweater, so my bangs

725
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:40,239
Speaker 2: get like when I have bangs, like they will get

726
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:43,200
Speaker 2: kind of damp, and like no one wants to walk

727
00:39:43,239 --> 00:39:48,279
Speaker 2: around with like wet hair, Okay, but like what if

728
00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:51,279
Speaker 2: you're just doing the little curler every morning so that

729
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:53,200
Speaker 2: the bangs are kind of like this, so they're not

730
00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:55,719
Speaker 2: touching your forehead, you know, even then they'll still get,

731
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:56,840
Speaker 2: you know, like damp.

732
00:39:57,200 --> 00:40:00,560
Speaker 1: But the reference is Florence, right, or maybe like or

733
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:02,080
Speaker 1: what do we what do we going? What are we?

734
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:03,280
Speaker 2: Yeah? I mean Florence.

735
00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:05,439
Speaker 1: Do we want to straight across bang? Do we really

736
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:06,000
Speaker 1: want to do that?

737
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:08,000
Speaker 2: Or do I think here, I'll show you. I'll show

738
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:08,560
Speaker 2: you a reference.

739
00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:10,360
Speaker 1: I'm not being subtle. I kind of want you to

740
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:12,520
Speaker 1: go in a more feathery vibe because.

741
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 2: I think, well, I've done I've done a curtain bang before,

742
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:18,200
Speaker 2: and like that is probably.

743
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:19,279
Speaker 1: A curtain bang is the Florence bang.

744
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:23,000
Speaker 2: No, a curtain bang is like a longer, more feathery bang. Okay,

745
00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:25,480
Speaker 2: and that doesn't work for you. This is kind of

746
00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:30,720
Speaker 2: Oh I like this love. It's like it's like blunt

747
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:32,960
Speaker 2: but still a little feathery.

748
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:35,879
Speaker 1: Like yeah, it's it's a little it's like not asymmetrical,

749
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:38,239
Speaker 1: but it's a little choppy. Not it's not that's it.

750
00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:39,239
Speaker 1: It's not trying to be.

751
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 2: No, I'm not going to I'm not ever gonna do

752
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:43,680
Speaker 2: like a Zoe Dachanell bang.

753
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 1: Yeah that's what I was worried.

754
00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:48,480
Speaker 2: But Florence is more the vibe. And also, like my

755
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:51,280
Speaker 2: you know, I was just home visiting my family recently,

756
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:55,600
Speaker 2: and my my mom and my two sisters all three

757
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:59,879
Speaker 2: of them have bangs. We all have the same texture hair,

758
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:04,200
Speaker 2: like all of us, and it was like a nice moment.

759
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:07,000
Speaker 2: We were all sitting around talking about our hair and

760
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:09,440
Speaker 2: we like they were all talking about having bangs, and

761
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:11,320
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I kind of want that. And also,

762
00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:13,920
Speaker 2: I my mom and I went out for breakfast one

763
00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:15,360
Speaker 2: morning and I posted a picture of her on my

764
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:19,440
Speaker 2: Instagram story, and so many people either commented or told

765
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 2: me the next time they saw me, oh my god,

766
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:23,040
Speaker 2: you and your mom look so much like you have

767
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:27,640
Speaker 2: the exact same hair, and that a couple of years ago,

768
00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:31,160
Speaker 2: I realized my hair was red, and I realized I

769
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:32,719
Speaker 2: looked at a photo of my mom from when she

770
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:34,239
Speaker 2: was young, and I was like, oh my god, I

771
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:37,319
Speaker 2: look so much like my mom. And I immediately dyed

772
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:39,359
Speaker 2: my hair a different color because I didn't like that.

773
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:43,279
Speaker 2: And now you're like, and like, I love it. I

774
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 2: want to look like that. And my mom and I

775
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:47,319
Speaker 2: when I was home the most recent, like last week,

776
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:52,320
Speaker 2: we literally had like our hair is the same color,

777
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:56,160
Speaker 2: the same texture, we do that we wear it the

778
00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:59,520
Speaker 2: same way. She has bangs, so like I kind of

779
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:00,839
Speaker 2: wanted to just lean into it.

780
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,279
Speaker 1: You should, you absolutely should, so.

781
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 2: I might be getting.

782
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:08,440
Speaker 1: I'm very pro bangs so long as they're bangs that

783
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:11,440
Speaker 1: like don't feel like they should feel like an extension

784
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:13,360
Speaker 1: of what you already have. And I think that like

785
00:42:13,719 --> 00:42:16,880
Speaker 1: that reference image is perfect to me. You're gonna be

786
00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:19,520
Speaker 1: so much more TikTok though it's gonna make you like

787
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:21,040
Speaker 1: it's just gonna be so cute.

788
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:23,520
Speaker 2: And I think maybe, like I'll have to decide if

789
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:27,000
Speaker 2: because every time I've gotten bangs, I haven't maintained them.

790
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:30,759
Speaker 2: I always immediately start growing them out, and so I

791
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:33,760
Speaker 2: think that's where I so if I just like commit

792
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:36,239
Speaker 2: to having them for a while, I won't feel as

793
00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 2: as much like that I regret them, but like I'll

794
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:43,799
Speaker 2: always regret a haircut or a hair color decision, as

795
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:45,840
Speaker 2: I said in three to five business days.

796
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:48,959
Speaker 1: Do you want to know the hair decision that I'm

797
00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:49,680
Speaker 1: thinking about?

798
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:51,360
Speaker 2: Yes, tell me extensions again?

799
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 1: No, oh my god. I mean I would love to

800
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:55,840
Speaker 1: have an extensions moment, but that would be more like

801
00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:58,840
Speaker 1: event based, like a ponytail or something like that. I'm

802
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:01,440
Speaker 1: currently thinking a lot, and I can't really do it

803
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:04,080
Speaker 1: until I have like fun money, but like that probably

804
00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:07,880
Speaker 1: could be like maybe as soon as the winter. I

805
00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:11,560
Speaker 1: am thinking a lot about So I actually love the

806
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:14,600
Speaker 1: color like your color, like red brown, whatever, and I

807
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:16,520
Speaker 1: think it would go really well with my black hair.

808
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:19,480
Speaker 1: And I'm thinking about taking just my haircut as it

809
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:24,279
Speaker 1: is and dyeing all of the tips red. That's cute, yeah,

810
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:26,440
Speaker 1: because I think it would be like not, It's not

811
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:29,759
Speaker 1: like a huge change, and it's something that I can

812
00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:31,480
Speaker 1: chop off if I get sick of it.

813
00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:33,240
Speaker 2: It's a little emot.

814
00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:36,799
Speaker 1: It's a little malgoth, but I can But the way

815
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:38,640
Speaker 1: I would wear it would be pretty fashion. I mean

816
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:41,040
Speaker 1: not in what I'm literally in a mal goth outfit

817
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,719
Speaker 1: right now, like kind of crazy, but like, yeah, no,

818
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:46,359
Speaker 1: I've been feeling the kind of emo. But I also

819
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:49,799
Speaker 1: just have been wanting more texture in my hair, like

820
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:53,480
Speaker 1: more something that just like brings out, like the shape

821
00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:56,120
Speaker 1: and the feel of it. So I think that might

822
00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:57,840
Speaker 1: be my next move because I haven't gotten a haircut

823
00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 1: in months, which is a great thing because my haircuts

824
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:03,880
Speaker 1: are so expensive. But yeah, no, I'm thinking about a

825
00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:06,040
Speaker 1: red like yours, maybe a red that's like a little

826
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:08,840
Speaker 1: more electric and a little less auburn.

827
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:12,000
Speaker 2: That's very exciting. I mean, I'm when I do my

828
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:14,239
Speaker 2: hair this week, I'm doing cut and color, so I

829
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:18,080
Speaker 2: will be going a much deeper, darker copper red.

830
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:20,399
Speaker 1: I'm going would you describe this now?

831
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:24,400
Speaker 2: This is like auburn like a like a it was

832
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:26,400
Speaker 2: copper the last time I got it colored and it

833
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:29,360
Speaker 2: has faded to more of an auburn. But I also

834
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:33,000
Speaker 2: my hair is like very highlighted, so a lot of

835
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 2: it so like it is light because of that work.

836
00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:39,239
Speaker 2: But this is kind of the vibe.

837
00:44:39,239 --> 00:44:44,480
Speaker 1: But oh that's really red. Wow, Sophie, I extremely read and.

838
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:48,399
Speaker 2: Also like getting older older Florence, because Florence now does

839
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 2: like a more naturally ginger.

840
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:53,959
Speaker 1: Oh that's her, but that's not her natural hair color. No,

841
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:56,879
Speaker 1: no way, Wait, that air is amazing.

842
00:44:57,040 --> 00:44:59,759
Speaker 2: The bangs are not, but I don't I don't mind

843
00:44:59,840 --> 00:45:03,880
Speaker 2: the and also also Emma Stone and Corilla that's amazing.

844
00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:07,520
Speaker 1: Wait, well the glasses I mean with god, Wait, that's

845
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:08,840
Speaker 1: a really good bang.

846
00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:11,719
Speaker 2: And also Florence and the Shake It Out video that

847
00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:14,600
Speaker 2: is kind of the ultimate reference. Yes, Florence shake it

848
00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:18,760
Speaker 2: Out Ceremonials Era. Florence is like the hair and bang

849
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:19,600
Speaker 2: that I'm going for.

850
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:21,759
Speaker 1: I wish I could pull off that color red you

851
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:25,799
Speaker 1: really like with your with your postaline skin tone, It's

852
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:28,080
Speaker 1: really gonna look so fierce on you. I can't wait

853
00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:28,919
Speaker 1: for that hair. Era.

854
00:45:29,239 --> 00:45:32,840
Speaker 2: Who's hair? Who in the world? Like, do you think.

855
00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:38,799
Speaker 1: Hair outside the opera. Okay, nice, but the tattoo I

856
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:40,520
Speaker 1: have on my thigh slash the hair that I am

857
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:43,360
Speaker 1: aspiring to Yeah, what about you.

858
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:45,399
Speaker 2: Uh, Nicole Kiinman In practical.

859
00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:50,919
Speaker 3: Matter, yes, well, hair is maybe a generat Yeah yeah, yeah,

860
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:54,200
Speaker 3: let's say some some hair, the most synthetic, the most

861
00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:57,040
Speaker 3: hair extensions ever committed to film.

862
00:45:57,200 --> 00:46:10,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, and now a clip from our Patreon become a

863
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:13,200
Speaker 2: patron at patreon dot com, slash like a virgin for

864
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:17,360
Speaker 2: weekly bonus episodes and more so. I know that we

865
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:23,000
Speaker 2: have discussed religion before in our in every episode, in

866
00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:27,759
Speaker 2: every episode about France childhood trauma, and specifically in our

867
00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:34,799
Speaker 2: Christmas episode from Holidays twenty twenty one. But today we're

868
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:39,840
Speaker 2: going to talk about spirituality, you know, not necessarily organized religion,

869
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:47,360
Speaker 2: more of like woo oo like esotic spirituality between us

870
00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 2: and our God or.

871
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:59,320
Speaker 1: God's mysticism, higher powers, vibes, vibes, manifestation, trannifestation, the power

872
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 1: of magic. Thinking the secret.

873
00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:07,960
Speaker 2: The secret I'm secreting the secret which I whenever I

874
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:11,200
Speaker 2: think about the Secret, I think about Samantha reading it

875
00:47:11,239 --> 00:47:13,400
Speaker 2: on the beach and the Sex and the City movie.

876
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:15,719
Speaker 2: I'm secreting secreting.

877
00:47:16,719 --> 00:47:22,760
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, I was going to say totally separate.

878
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:25,319
Speaker 1: We honestly should do an episode on the Bible that

879
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:28,920
Speaker 1: would actually be a really good separate episode. Stay tuned

880
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:32,200
Speaker 1: for that. But like, I really feel like in terms

881
00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:37,239
Speaker 1: of like religion, spirituality, whatnot, we are in a very

882
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:42,040
Speaker 1: interesting time post Channy Nicholas, Post Channy Nicholas. We're in

883
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 1: front of the podcast, friend of the podcast Channy Nicholas,

884
00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:48,320
Speaker 1: We're in everybody. I mean, we actually almost over indexed

885
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:51,440
Speaker 1: on astrology culture and now Australiy's like astrology is a

886
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:53,880
Speaker 1: little bit on it Wait, sorry, Channing, I mean like

887
00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:56,160
Speaker 1: not on its way out, but like we're talking about

888
00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:59,040
Speaker 1: it less because we've kind of exhausted the amount we're

889
00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:01,040
Speaker 1: talking about it. But I say this all to say

890
00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:03,759
Speaker 1: is that the crystals and the woo woo and the

891
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:06,840
Speaker 1: kind of white woman mysticism that is kind of oozing

892
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:08,600
Speaker 1: its way through a lot of our culture and our

893
00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:11,440
Speaker 1: daily conversations has a lot to do I think with

894
00:48:11,719 --> 00:48:14,880
Speaker 1: the fact that like Christianity is becoming less and less.

895
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:18,520
Speaker 2: Popular, not if you watch the news.

896
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:21,600
Speaker 1: No, it really is, like statistically, like people that believe

897
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:25,839
Speaker 1: in God are becoming the minority, which is cool. They

898
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:29,440
Speaker 1: are not like in a population that is necessarily increasing.

899
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:34,120
Speaker 2: Do you do you believe in God? No, God, God God?

900
00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:41,000
Speaker 2: Do you believe in some kind of higher power or

901
00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:46,080
Speaker 2: I guess sort of like intelligent design to the universe.

902
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:50,120
Speaker 2: Do you believe in magic and sort of the power

903
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:53,399
Speaker 2: of positive thinking and like energy and that?

904
00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:57,400
Speaker 1: I kind of. I don't believe in magic personally. I

905
00:48:57,520 --> 00:49:01,759
Speaker 1: believe in a person's a bit to sell themselves on

906
00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:07,560
Speaker 1: a story and for that story to have actual ramifications

907
00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:11,360
Speaker 1: on their life. So with Christianity or with astrology, or

908
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 1: with reading taro or like whatever it is that is

909
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:18,840
Speaker 1: your you're really telling yourself a motherfucking fairy tale. But

910
00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:23,600
Speaker 1: those fits. But the thing is, stories are so powerful.

911
00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:26,359
Speaker 2: So powerful.

912
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:31,799
Speaker 1: I'm holding Rose's hand right now, my God, stories are

913
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:32,680
Speaker 1: literally so powerful.

914
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:35,280
Speaker 2: I can't. We have not said that on the podcast

915
00:49:35,320 --> 00:49:37,879
Speaker 2: for so long, and honestly for too long.

916
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:42,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, that'll be our hat, That'll be the next hat

917
00:49:42,560 --> 00:49:45,839
Speaker 1: I do. It's it's crazy, though, I'm actually saying, being

918
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:50,800
Speaker 1: very earnest, like the power of storytelling is actually religion,

919
00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:55,400
Speaker 1: like the Bible is actual mythology that has been sold

920
00:49:55,440 --> 00:50:00,160
Speaker 1: to billions of people that has been passed down through

921
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:03,640
Speaker 1: eons and the world. Yes, and that's the story. Is

922
00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:04,320
Speaker 1: that powerful?

923
00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:07,520
Speaker 2: So stories are so powerful.

924
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:10,759
Speaker 1: But now we do versions of this with the kind

925
00:50:10,840 --> 00:50:14,560
Speaker 1: of like white woman manifestation thing. Like I do actually

926
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:17,320
Speaker 1: think that, like, whatever it is that is your jug,

927
00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:21,160
Speaker 1: believing in something higher is good for you and good

928
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:25,279
Speaker 1: for your brain. Like science science statistics have actually shown that, like,

929
00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:27,879
Speaker 1: people that believe in God or some kind of higher

930
00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:31,160
Speaker 1: power are statistically happier than the rest of the population. Like,

931
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:34,200
Speaker 1: and it makes sense because you because you're believing in

932
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:39,520
Speaker 1: a lie. But lies are great. Lies are powerful, and

933
00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:41,799
Speaker 1: that's why I think I love a lot of them.

934
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:45,440
Speaker 1: I subscribe to a lot of wo Woo girls stuff

935
00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:49,040
Speaker 1: because I think it's important to just in the same

936
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:53,040
Speaker 1: way we use therapy to reflect, to like, use the

937
00:50:53,160 --> 00:50:56,239
Speaker 1: stories of the world to I don't know, live your life,

938
00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:57,440
Speaker 1: to orient your life.

939
00:50:57,239 --> 00:50:59,920
Speaker 2: Around what do you think is the most woo woo

940
00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:01,040
Speaker 2: thing you do?

941
00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:05,080
Speaker 1: Oh, that's a really good question. Do you have an

942
00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:05,719
Speaker 1: answer to this?

943
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:12,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm pretty superstitious, you know, I will. I used

944
00:51:12,560 --> 00:51:14,279
Speaker 2: to be much more when I was a kid, Like

945
00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 2: step on a crack break your mother's back that kind

946
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:19,319
Speaker 2: of stuff. But like if I have if I have

947
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:21,640
Speaker 2: an eyelash, I'm making a wish on it. Okay, if

948
00:51:21,640 --> 00:51:24,280
Speaker 2: it's eleven eleven, I'm making a wish. Okay. If I

949
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:27,040
Speaker 2: spill salt, I'm throwing it over my shoulder, although I

950
00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:29,720
Speaker 2: always forget which shoulder it's supposed to be, Like I

951
00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:33,720
Speaker 2: do kind of it's not that I believe that stuff,

952
00:51:33,719 --> 00:51:36,600
Speaker 2: but I always have that moment of like, what if

953
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:39,640
Speaker 2: I don't do it in something something bad happens, or

954
00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:41,920
Speaker 2: like things like my mom always used to tell me

955
00:51:43,239 --> 00:51:45,520
Speaker 2: when you start a new job, make sure that on

956
00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:48,280
Speaker 2: the first day you walk in on your right foot.

957
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:52,920
Speaker 2: Like little things like that like have like accumulated in

958
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:57,319
Speaker 2: my brain. And so I think that is the thing

959
00:51:57,320 --> 00:51:59,879
Speaker 2: that I still have some lingering belief in that they're

960
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:04,960
Speaker 2: is a sort of pattern we can hack into through

961
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:10,399
Speaker 2: these little rituals that have like accumulated over millennia, and

962
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:13,880
Speaker 2: because of like the belief in them, they hold some

963
00:52:14,080 --> 00:52:16,279
Speaker 2: kind of power. I don't necessarily think that power comes

964
00:52:16,280 --> 00:52:19,239
Speaker 2: from like God or any or anything, but like even

965
00:52:19,280 --> 00:52:23,120
Speaker 2: if it's just like the power of my own beliefs, Like, yes,

966
00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:27,279
Speaker 2: I do believe in that so that is I think

967
00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:29,160
Speaker 2: the woo wooiest thing about me, and there have been

968
00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:33,000
Speaker 2: times in my life when I've been into much more

969
00:52:33,280 --> 00:52:36,880
Speaker 2: woo woo things. Same, but that's kind of curzy.

970
00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:38,480
Speaker 1: Jesus