Speaker 1: My colleagues, We'll stop commenting on everything I get people
Speaker 1: and meeting. Why does my coworker keep taking credit for
Speaker 1: all my ideas? Have any wisdom for me? Hi, I'm
Speaker 1: Alison Green. Welcome to the Aska Manager Podcast. Right answer
Speaker 1: questions from listeners about life at work, everything from what
Speaker 1: to say if you're allergic to your coworkers perfume to
Speaker 1: what to do if you drink too much at the
Speaker 1: company party. Let's get started. Welcome to the show. Since
Speaker 1: it's the end of the year, I thought it would
Speaker 1: be interesting to check back with some of the people
Speaker 1: who called into the show this year and hear updates
Speaker 1: from them about how their situations have turned out. This
Speaker 1: is something that I do every December at the Aska
Speaker 1: Manager website. The whole month there, I published updates from
Speaker 1: people who had their letters answered there that year, and
Speaker 1: it's always really interesting to hear whether they took the
Speaker 1: advice and how things worked out. So a bunch of
Speaker 1: people who called into the show this year were nice
Speaker 1: enough to call back in with updates on their situations,
Speaker 1: and we're going to hear from them today. Let's go
Speaker 1: straight to the first update. Remember the color earlier this
Speaker 1: year who didn't have enough to do at work. She
Speaker 1: was getting rave reviews from her boss, but she had
Speaker 1: a ton of extra time in her hands. And moreover,
Speaker 1: she had found herself in that situation at every job
Speaker 1: she's had, and she was getting really bored and was
Speaker 1: wondering what to do. I advised her to talk to
Speaker 1: her boss, lay out the situation and see what came
Speaker 1: of that, and that that wouldn't necessarily fix the problem,
Speaker 1: but that if nothing else, it would give her a
Speaker 1: lot more information about whether this was something that she
Speaker 1: could expect to change or not. And then if she
Speaker 1: realized through that conversation that it's just the nature of
Speaker 1: the job, then she could decide what to do about
Speaker 1: that from there. Okay, here is her update. Hi, Allison,
Speaker 1: here's my update since we talked. When we had first spoken,
Speaker 1: I was feeling really underworked and like I wanted more
Speaker 1: challenge at my job, and you've given me a lot
Speaker 1: of great advice about that. One of the things that
Speaker 1: resulted from that was a really frank conversation with my boss,
Speaker 1: and I think that my boss really understands where I'm
Speaker 1: coming from. But I don't know that my role working
Speaker 1: for a governmental entity is going to be one that's
Speaker 1: going to be as intensive as I would maybe like.
Speaker 1: And since we spoke, my just the normal cyclical nature
Speaker 1: of my job has really picked up around this time
Speaker 1: of year, and so I have been busier and I've
Speaker 1: been happier because of that. But there have been a
Speaker 1: couple of indications to me that things will get better.
Speaker 1: One is that I know my boss has had more
Speaker 1: of an eye towards giving me more complicated projects since
Speaker 1: we had that conversation. And two is that he has
Speaker 1: also indicated that there will be some shifting around of
Speaker 1: positions in my department in the next year or so,
Speaker 1: and that might provide some opportunity for me to, uh
Speaker 1: may be advanced my career shifted a little bit, or
Speaker 1: at least for some things to get shaken up on
Speaker 1: our team that might allow me to take on some
Speaker 1: more responsibility. So I think things are moving in a
Speaker 1: good direction. I do really like my job, and and
Speaker 1: having this busy period has really allowed me to remember
Speaker 1: all the things I like about my job because I've
Speaker 1: been busy enough to feel engaged. So I feel like
Speaker 1: it's a it's a job that I'll probably stay out
Speaker 1: for a while. And um, I think it's set a
Speaker 1: really good baseline for me to have that really frank
Speaker 1: conversation with my boss and to lay all out there
Speaker 1: how much capacity I feel like I still have. I
Speaker 1: do know that he sees me as a go to person,
Speaker 1: and my hope is that as I continue to enthusiastically
Speaker 1: take on any new projects when he proposes them, and
Speaker 1: to take them on on a regular basis without having
Speaker 1: to be asked, that that will position me as more
Speaker 1: of a go to person for more interesting side work.
Speaker 1: So thank you so much for your advice, and I
Speaker 1: really appreciated being on the show. Well that's great. A
Speaker 1: frank conversation so often is the answer, And it sounds
Speaker 1: like the situation is going pretty well. Sounds like the
Speaker 1: colors feeling good about where things are well. This year
Speaker 1: we also heard from someone with the opposite problem. Instead
Speaker 1: of not having enough work, she had way too much work.
Speaker 1: Her workload had exploded, She was buried in work all
Speaker 1: the time. She was wondering about how to distinguish being
Speaker 1: burned out and just needing a break from being in
Speaker 1: a situation that was unfixable and that she needed to leave.
Speaker 1: We talked about how to talk to her manager with
Speaker 1: the goal of figuring that out, to figure out is
Speaker 1: this something where she could get some relief or is
Speaker 1: this just the way the situation is going to stay.
Speaker 1: And we also talked a bit about her tendencies to
Speaker 1: be a bit of a people pleaser to say yes
Speaker 1: all the time, when in fact there were cases where
Speaker 1: maybe she could be saying no more often. That episode
Speaker 1: was called I'm so turned out at work and here
Speaker 1: is the update. Hi everyone, here's my update. I took
Speaker 1: Allison's advice and talked to my manager. She was receptive
Speaker 1: to my feedback and absolutely agreed that my workload is
Speaker 1: too great for one person. We spread out some of
Speaker 1: my tests to other team members and eliminated some of
Speaker 1: the work that didn't make sense for me to be doing.
Speaker 1: For a few weeks, it was great. I had a
Speaker 1: much better work life balance and was feeling a lot
Speaker 1: more positive towards my job. But then we got additional
Speaker 1: projects thrown at us, and if anything, I'm working even
Speaker 1: more than I was when I initially went on the podcast.
Speaker 1: I am overburdened, overwhelmed, and get completely burnt out still.
Speaker 1: So despite me being on a fast track to promotion,
Speaker 1: I've decided to leave the company I'm currently interviewing, and
Speaker 1: I'm hoping that something turns up soon. I am trying
Speaker 1: my best to keep a positive attitude at my current job,
Speaker 1: and I'm continuing to do the same high quality work
Speaker 1: that I've been but my motivation is a little lacking
Speaker 1: as far as the people pleasing. This has been a
Speaker 1: huge problem for me my entire life, and I've been
Speaker 1: working on it. So what I've done was I've just
Speaker 1: gotten better at saying no. I evaluate tests and really
Speaker 1: think about if they make sense for me to do.
Speaker 1: I try to defer them or delegate them if I can,
Speaker 1: and if someone pushes back, I explained the reasons why
Speaker 1: I at least have my supervisor supportive nos. But it's
Speaker 1: difficult and it's something I continue to struggle with, but
Speaker 1: it's gotten a lot better. So I appreciate the advice,
Speaker 1: and I hope my next update is me telling you
Speaker 1: about a new job I got. Thanks. You know, I
Speaker 1: get a fair number of updates where the person did
Speaker 1: decide to leave the job, and that is not failure.
Speaker 1: If you try resolving a situation and you learn from
Speaker 1: doing that that things aren't likely to change or aren't
Speaker 1: likely to change in a significant way. That is actually
Speaker 1: a type of success. It may not be the type
Speaker 1: of success you were hoping for, but now you have
Speaker 1: the information that you need in order to make good
Speaker 1: decisions for yourself. And it sounds like that is what
Speaker 1: the scholar did. Okay, remember the episode called I'm Bad
Speaker 1: at Taking Feedback from September, the color found that she
Speaker 1: wasn't taking criticism very well. She would take it personally
Speaker 1: and get defensive, and she worried that she looked angry
Speaker 1: or upset when she was getting feedback. We talked about
Speaker 1: how to overcome that and take feedback from a calmer,
Speaker 1: less defensive place. And here is the update. Hi Alison,
Speaker 1: so Um, your advice helped me a lot to think
Speaker 1: about how meetings with my boss really just a part
Speaker 1: of the job and not take them too personally and
Speaker 1: you know, just she mentally prepared for them as something
Speaker 1: that's it's going to happen regularly. So I had a
Speaker 1: conversation with my boss recently where he asked how he
Speaker 1: could be a better manager. I took the opportunity to
Speaker 1: talk about positive feedback and how important it is, and
Speaker 1: also how the lack of it has kind of affected
Speaker 1: me and made me feel like I wasn't doing as
Speaker 1: well as maybe other people were. And he agreed that
Speaker 1: he didn't give enough positive feedback and said that would
Speaker 1: be a change she would try to make. But then
Speaker 1: he also went along talk about all the things that
Speaker 1: I do really well, which felt really great. And also
Speaker 1: I had a job interview not long after that, and
Speaker 1: it really helped me to bring up my confidence and
Speaker 1: also just know the things that I was doing really well,
Speaker 1: um to get my first field job now that I'm
Speaker 1: about to finish on my PhD program. Um. Also, he
Speaker 1: called in my other coworker, who I also said that
Speaker 1: had to feel felt pretty similar to me, and gave
Speaker 1: him a bunch of positive feedback and then also told
Speaker 1: him he was ready to look for a post doc.
Speaker 1: So it actually really helped both of us by giving
Speaker 1: him that feedback, and I do truly think he's going
Speaker 1: to take that the heart for future student. So um,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for your help. That really really
Speaker 1: did have a great impact. Hurrah. That is great another
Speaker 1: frank conversation, and it paid off. I think so often
Speaker 1: people feel like, well, if my manager isn't doing X,
Speaker 1: it must be because he or she doesn't want to
Speaker 1: do X, that it's a deliberate decision they're making and
Speaker 1: so there must be no point in talking to them
Speaker 1: about it. But I can tell you from the manager's
Speaker 1: side of things, it can be really helpful to hear
Speaker 1: from people, Hey, it would help me if you did X,
Speaker 1: because as a manager, you don't always know, or maybe
Speaker 1: you know at some level that say you're bad at
Speaker 1: giving positive feedback or whatever, but you kind of convince
Speaker 1: yourself that it's not a big deal. And so hearing
Speaker 1: from someone, especially a good employee, that it actually is
Speaker 1: something they really care about sometimes that will nudge a
Speaker 1: manager into changing what they're doing. So that's a great update,
Speaker 1: and kudos to that caller for having the conversation. Let's
Speaker 1: take a quick break here and I'll be back with
Speaker 1: more updates, including the needy coworker who didn't seem to
Speaker 1: be able to do her job after many months of training,
Speaker 1: and the chef who was struggling with confidence issues. Remember
Speaker 1: the caller way back in March who had an needy
Speaker 1: coworker who leaned on her way too much for help.
Speaker 1: The episode was called the Helpless Coworker and the coworker,
Speaker 1: Jane had been there for nine months and just wasn't
Speaker 1: retaining any information and would repeatedly ask the caller for
Speaker 1: things they'd already covered multiple times and that the collar
Speaker 1: had sent her instructions for. And she also had a
Speaker 1: habit of when she had a question, she would go
Speaker 1: from person to person in their department and ask everyone,
Speaker 1: even though everyone gave her the same answer. They had
Speaker 1: talked to their manager about the situation, and the manager
Speaker 1: asked them to keep being patient, but it was starting
Speaker 1: to take up a lot of time and cause a
Speaker 1: lot of frustration. Here is the update. Oh yeah, so
Speaker 1: this is my update UM on the day UM that
Speaker 1: we recorded the podcast. What I had not told you
Speaker 1: at that time was that things had kind of come
Speaker 1: to a head where I lost my patient. Jane had
Speaker 1: asked me for help via email for something I previously
Speaker 1: assisted her with multiple times. I lost my patience, and
Speaker 1: I responded in a somewhat snarky manner in an email,
Speaker 1: including screenshots and instructions and sort of a little condescending
Speaker 1: tone like we've been over this before and you should
Speaker 1: know this by now, but here let me tell you
Speaker 1: how to do this again. And I made mistake of
Speaker 1: copying in my director of our department, thinking that she
Speaker 1: would see how ridiculous being had been and was being um. Instead,
Speaker 1: my director took issue with the tone of my email,
Speaker 1: and I received a linky email back from her about
Speaker 1: my behavior and how she basically thought I needed to
Speaker 1: be more patient. So, after I talked with you the
Speaker 1: next day, of course, you know, i'd also received the
Speaker 1: email from my director, I took Jane aside just in
Speaker 1: a little I have a little room, and I apologize
Speaker 1: to her for the talent of my email and for
Speaker 1: anything else tone and behavior previously. I just apologize basically
Speaker 1: for not being a patient as I should have been.
Speaker 1: So this led to Jane crying and forgiving me. I mean,
Speaker 1: she was grateful that we kind of talked and bought
Speaker 1: it on the open I provided her. I took that
Speaker 1: time to you know, just kind of reassure her, and
Speaker 1: I provided her with suggestions. I thought about how she
Speaker 1: could handle when she had questions. I suggested that she
Speaker 1: sit and think about her questions before going to anybody
Speaker 1: and asking and thinking who would be the best person
Speaker 1: to answer her questions. So not just going to you know,
Speaker 1: everybody one by one in the department when one person
Speaker 1: might be the best person to answer the question, and
Speaker 1: think about who that would be, and courage her to
Speaker 1: continue to take notes and to refer them, referred to
Speaker 1: them before going around and asking questions. And she seemed
Speaker 1: to take my advice to heart, but she was sent
Speaker 1: back to her old ways of just going from person
Speaker 1: to person, um asking the same question over and over,
Speaker 1: asking questions that she had asked previously, you know, previous
Speaker 1: days or weeks, as if she wasn't retaining information or whatever. Um,
Speaker 1: she just began aggravating more and more people in our department,
Speaker 1: and and then she also sort of branched out to
Speaker 1: other departments and did the same thing. It just pretty
Speaker 1: much became evident to me that she preferred to have
Speaker 1: people handle her cat rather than learn them and take
Speaker 1: care of them herself. And it seemed evident to me
Speaker 1: and to others that this method of going from person
Speaker 1: to person was sort of in hopes that somebody would
Speaker 1: be just worn down enough, but they would go, never mind,
Speaker 1: I'll just I'll just handle it for you. And I'd
Speaker 1: actually had done it a few times. I was just
Speaker 1: set up with, oh, here's the same question, again, I've
Speaker 1: already explained it to you, you know, w let me
Speaker 1: just take care of it. And so I fell into
Speaker 1: that trap, and and others did too, and it just
Speaker 1: seems like she just preferred to outsource her responsibilities in
Speaker 1: that way. So it ended up that in August of
Speaker 1: this year, I found another job, and so I don't
Speaker 1: have to deal with Jane anymore. And I can honestly say,
Speaker 1: when I think back that the reasons why I left
Speaker 1: that previous job, I would give it at least ten
Speaker 1: percent that getting away from Jane was behind me, you know,
Speaker 1: some of the reasons that I wanted to leave. So
Speaker 1: that is my updates. Well, that's frustrating. I like that
Speaker 1: this color had a frank conversation with the coworker, even
Speaker 1: though it didn't ultimately solve the problem. If you do
Speaker 1: end up leaving a job because of frustrations, it's so
Speaker 1: helpful to know that you did make some attempts at
Speaker 1: being straightforward and that you did try to resolve things.
Speaker 1: And really, in this case, the problem was with management.
Speaker 1: They saw what was happening, they were being overly hands
Speaker 1: off about it, which is a super common thing. There
Speaker 1: are lots of people who are supposed to be managing
Speaker 1: who just don't do it because they don't like hard conversations,
Speaker 1: or they don't like dealing with conflict, or they don't
Speaker 1: like giving someone bad news, and so they just let
Speaker 1: problems fester and eventually good people get frustrated and leave.
Speaker 1: I know the caller said she had other reasons for
Speaker 1: leaving too, but I would bet that some of them
Speaker 1: are about having management that wouldn't do their job, not
Speaker 1: just with this coworker, but more broadly too. Managers who
Speaker 1: don't manage suck. Let's see who's next. Remember the caller
Speaker 1: this fall who was struggling with confidence issues. The episode
Speaker 1: was called I Need More Confidence at Work? And the
Speaker 1: collar was a chef at a fine dining restaurant and
Speaker 1: she would take things very personally when something went wrong,
Speaker 1: and she would feel like it was all her fall
Speaker 1: and that she must not be very good at her job.
Speaker 1: And she was also having trouble speaking up when a
Speaker 1: colleague was doing something that impacted her negatively, and she
Speaker 1: was wondering how to get better at addressing those things.
Speaker 1: Here is the update. Hi Alison, I originally emailed in
Speaker 1: a few months ago asking for advice on how to
Speaker 1: be more confident at work, and linked to this, how
Speaker 1: to address my colleagues more effectively when I needed to
Speaker 1: raise an issue with them. It's been something I've worked
Speaker 1: on very consciously over the past few months, and I'm
Speaker 1: definitely not there yet, but I do think I've come
Speaker 1: on leaps and bounds in certain areas. For instance, I've
Speaker 1: become really good at taking professional feedback, and this has
Speaker 1: been noticed by my boss, who said that he saw
Speaker 1: I was really good at listening to the feedback given,
Speaker 1: which was a really nice thing to hear. I've also
Speaker 1: moved away from taking lots of things personally and just
Speaker 1: seeing them more as a work issue, which has also
Speaker 1: helped me enormously. Um It's stopped to me overthinking things
Speaker 1: too much on my on my time away from the
Speaker 1: from the kitchen. I do still struggle sometimes with addressing
Speaker 1: members of my team directly when giving them feedback on
Speaker 1: their work, even though I'm told this is something I
Speaker 1: should do by my boss. But I do think this
Speaker 1: has not been helped by a couple of other factors
Speaker 1: that have been involved. Recently. We've been hiring a lot
Speaker 1: of temp staff um as we've been short staffed um
Speaker 1: and so one, I don't have a solid working relationship
Speaker 1: with these people UM and to a few of them
Speaker 1: have been quite volatile characters, sort of the typical chef UM,
Speaker 1: so really not the most approachable people. UM. But I
Speaker 1: am working on it, and the people that I do
Speaker 1: give direct feedback to, I've been very clear to make
Speaker 1: sure that my tone is good and following your advice
Speaker 1: in that area as well. One other thing you advised
Speaker 1: me to do was to look carefully at how my
Speaker 1: coworkers raised issues and topics, and this is definitely something
Speaker 1: I've done. UM. I've often mirrored my coworkers phrasing and
Speaker 1: tone when they ask about things UM that seemed totally
Speaker 1: mature and reasonable to me. So that's really really helped
Speaker 1: because it's kind of reinforced that idea of what if
Speaker 1: they can do it, I can do it. The advice
Speaker 1: you gave me really really helped me. You said gaining
Speaker 1: confidence is not an overnight thing, and I completely agree
Speaker 1: with that, and internally, if I'm being honest, I do
Speaker 1: still feel quite uncertain of my skill set at times.
Speaker 1: But I'm looking forward to the new year. I'm hoping
Speaker 1: to move on to a different role uh, and see
Speaker 1: that as a bit of a fresh start and take
Speaker 1: with me the skills that I've gained over this experience.
Speaker 1: So thank you so much. I love this update too.
Speaker 1: You know, the stuff doesn't change every name. It's a process,
Speaker 1: and this color sounds like she's making really good progress.
Speaker 1: I especially love that she took the advice about paying
Speaker 1: attention to how her coworkers raised the sort of issues
Speaker 1: that she herself was hesitant to raise, because so, Ben,
Speaker 1: if you feel hesitant to speak up about something, it
Speaker 1: will help to look around and watch how other people
Speaker 1: do it, because you can get lots of good models
Speaker 1: of Oh, this is how you approach it, and this
Speaker 1: is the language, and this is the tone, and when
Speaker 1: they do it that way, it doesn't come across as
Speaker 1: a big deal. It's normal and it's fine. And really
Speaker 1: paying attention to that and internalizing that can help you
Speaker 1: speak up yourself. And that is that sounds like the
Speaker 1: direction that this collar is moving in, which is great.
Speaker 1: We'll take a short break and come right back with
Speaker 1: more updates, including one from the collar earlier this year
Speaker 1: who sat across the hall from a pretty scary dude
Speaker 1: and the person with the overly Talkative Intern. Remember the
Speaker 1: episode from July called the Talkative Intern. That was the
Speaker 1: caller earlier this year who had a really really talkative intern.
Speaker 1: A lot of it sounded like the intern was just
Speaker 1: over explaining, like she would come in to ask a question,
Speaker 1: but she would ask it four different ways, with lots
Speaker 1: of commentary on why she didn't know the answer, and
Speaker 1: it was to the point where people were avoiding her
Speaker 1: a little, and the caller was trying to figure out
Speaker 1: how to give the intern feedback about it and get
Speaker 1: her to rein it in without embarrassing her. Here is
Speaker 1: the update. Hi, Aliston, I was calling to give you
Speaker 1: an update on my talkative intern. I took your advice
Speaker 1: and at a regular update meeting I had to talk
Speaker 1: with her um. I kind of framed it the way
Speaker 1: we talked about with UM as being a common issue
Speaker 1: for people early in their career and to have faith
Speaker 1: in herself that she asked good questions and her questions
Speaker 1: are worth asking and she doesn't need to sort of
Speaker 1: justify them. The conversation seemed to go well, although I
Speaker 1: could tell that she was kind of taken aback and
Speaker 1: she over explained why she does that. She seemed to
Speaker 1: be putting in an effort, but honestly, there wasn't a
Speaker 1: ton of improvement, although it did leave the door open
Speaker 1: kind of for me too. I felt more comfortable interrupting
Speaker 1: her going forward for the rest of her internship again
Speaker 1: say okay, slow down, give me a chance to answer.
Speaker 1: And then a couple of months after her internship, I
Speaker 1: was at an vatte with some of my colleagues and
Speaker 1: someone mentioned how much she talked, and I said, you know, oh,
Speaker 1: I had tried to have a conversation with her. I
Speaker 1: know it didn't take, but I think she was just
Speaker 1: nervous and young. And someone joined in, who uh is
Speaker 1: more juniors. She's always been with us about six months,
Speaker 1: and she and my intern had been fairly close. They commuted,
Speaker 1: they walked part of their commute to work together. And
Speaker 1: apparently my my conversation with her didn't not go the
Speaker 1: way I thought it did. My intern was completely horrified.
Speaker 1: She didn't know what she'd done wrong. She was completely
Speaker 1: flustered and didn't know what she should do or what
Speaker 1: the problem was. So I don't know if I wasn't
Speaker 1: clear or she just sort of panicked, And in talking
Speaker 1: to my colleague, I found out that, you know, she
Speaker 1: had been talking to her too about how much she
Speaker 1: goes into detail and was trying to give her tips about,
Speaker 1: you know, making notes and being prepared for meetings and
Speaker 1: what you want to say. And I really think it
Speaker 1: was just a a factor of how young she was
Speaker 1: and how inexperienced she was in an office. But it
Speaker 1: was a very good experience for me as a manager
Speaker 1: to have that kind of difficult conversation. I have to
Speaker 1: think about how I would follow up better in the future.
Speaker 1: But I appreciate your help and all the advice that
Speaker 1: you gave me, so thank you. Oh this is so interesting.
Speaker 1: I love that this collar had the direct, straightforward conversation.
Speaker 1: But yeah, this is an example of how stuff doesn't
Speaker 1: always land with people the way we're hoping it well.
Speaker 1: But that doesn't mean that you did anything wrong. You
Speaker 1: could have done this perfectly and she still might have
Speaker 1: bristled at it. Sometimes that happens, especially with people early
Speaker 1: in their career who might not have a lot of
Speaker 1: experience getting direct feedback on stuff like this. The color
Speaker 1: mentioned that she wants to think about how she could
Speaker 1: follow up differently in the future, and I think one
Speaker 1: way to do it is to give the person some
Speaker 1: time to process the feedback a few days or a week,
Speaker 1: couple of weeks, depending on the context, and then at
Speaker 1: some point you can say, I really appreciate you letting
Speaker 1: me give you that feedback the other day. Now that
Speaker 1: you've had a chance to digest it, does it make
Speaker 1: sense to you, or would it be helpful for us
Speaker 1: to talk about it further, or in this particular case,
Speaker 1: even saying you know, I know it's tough to get
Speaker 1: feedback on something like that. I want to make sure
Speaker 1: that you know that I think you're doing a great
Speaker 1: job and this is just about tweaking something relatively minor
Speaker 1: that will be really easy to get under control. So
Speaker 1: sort of reassuring her that there's nothing to be horrified about,
Speaker 1: that it's routine feedback, nothing to panic over. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I think this collar is right, that this was a
Speaker 1: function of how inexperienced this employee was, and sometimes the
Speaker 1: stuff just happens, and she might look back on the
Speaker 1: experienced ten years from now and realized that her manager
Speaker 1: did her a favor by having that conversation with her. Okay,
Speaker 1: our last update is from a caller who I think
Speaker 1: a lot of people were really worried about I was.
Speaker 1: The episode was from June and it was called The
Speaker 1: Angry Coworker and the Collar sat across the hallway from
Speaker 1: a coworker, Chris, who was angry and disruptive. He would
Speaker 1: yell obscenities about work to himself and pound on his
Speaker 1: desk and paste around his office. The Collar had talked
Speaker 1: to her boss about it and they had gone to HR.
Speaker 1: HR talked to him, but it hadn't solved it. So
Speaker 1: I talked to the co worker, but ways to really
Speaker 1: press the issue and insist that it be taken more
Speaker 1: seriously because this kind of behavior is scary and disruptive
Speaker 1: and it can escalate. Here is the update, Hi, Alison,
Speaker 1: I'm calling him an update from my question earlier in
Speaker 1: the year. I just wanted to let you know that
Speaker 1: I ended up speaking with my manager further about the
Speaker 1: situation and really pressing the issue, and she in turn
Speaker 1: agreed that Chris's behavior was not acceptable and it was
Speaker 1: creating a lot of anxiety intention for me in the workplace,
Speaker 1: which was also not acceptable. So she spoke with the
Speaker 1: HR individual in my office, who ended up moving Chris
Speaker 1: to be almost adjacent to their office. So, although I
Speaker 1: don't believe that they have addressed addressed Chris's behavior or
Speaker 1: how it impact other people in the workplace, at least
Speaker 1: for now, I did realize that I wasn't so comfortable
Speaker 1: dealing with it and did press my manager for the too.
Speaker 1: How me with speaking with HR, and he has been
Speaker 1: moved and so far I have had no further issues
Speaker 1: with Chris. Thanks. Well, that's a relief to hear, and
Speaker 1: that is another point in favor of having the direct
Speaker 1: conversation and coming back and pushing harder. If something is
Speaker 1: really important and isn't being addressed in the way that
Speaker 1: you need it to be. You wouldn't do that with everything,
Speaker 1: of course, but with something that's making you feel unsafe,
Speaker 1: you really should. And it worked, so that's a great
Speaker 1: outcome in this case. Hopefully they'll they'll take it a
Speaker 1: little bit further. Now that he's sitting right across from HR.
Speaker 1: He'll either stop or they'll hear it firsthand and be
Speaker 1: able to more easily address it. Well, that is the
Speaker 1: chow for today. Thank you to everyone who called in
Speaker 1: with updates on their situations. It's so interesting to hear
Speaker 1: how things played out. I'll be back next week with
Speaker 1: more questions the best and