Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Ever since United Airlines got in trouble for upgrading a
Speaker 3: passenger to wrestling class, people have started paying close attention
Speaker 3: to how airlines treat customers. You know, there have been
Speaker 3: many viral videos of crazy stuff that's happening on airplanes.
Speaker 3: In fact, they're thinking about starting an airlines for world
Speaker 3: Star Airlines, right, And basically what happens is you're just
Speaker 3: gonna choose your section first class, economy or McDonald's parking lots,
Speaker 3: and then if they have an emergency, phones drop down
Speaker 3: from the ceiling.
Speaker 1: So that you can film yourself. Ah world Star.
Speaker 3: For more on the trends in travel, we turned to
Speaker 3: see their travel across run Ronnie Changing everybody.
Speaker 4: Les Travor Look. Flying sucks, right, It's always sucked, but
Speaker 4: back in the day we just couldn't record how much
Speaker 4: it sucked. Now with camera phones, we can relive those
Speaker 4: terrible moments forever.
Speaker 5: This Delta pilot was actually caught hitting a passenger, apparently
Speaker 5: trying to break up a fight between two passengers and a.
Speaker 6: Jedway American immediately suspended a flight attendant who allegedly ripped
Speaker 6: a stroller away from the mother, nearly striking the child
Speaker 6: in the process.
Speaker 1: Okay, but do you do that to me and I'll
Speaker 1: not you play.
Speaker 6: Another disturbing airline incidents caught on camera two passengers throwing
Speaker 6: punches at each other. The man in red yelled, do
Speaker 6: you think I'm crazy? The government is crazy?
Speaker 4: No, dude, you're crazy? Right? Who fights in a Hawaiian shirt?
Speaker 4: He's like the angriest guy at the LUO. Why is
Speaker 4: that no umbrella? My pina colada?
Speaker 1: And what is this?
Speaker 4: Is this a new pre flight routine? Here's your seatbelt?
Speaker 4: Here the exits all right, now.
Speaker 7: Let's keep them up to bear.
Speaker 4: Everybody, alright, what's your good clean fight? You think Detroit
Speaker 4: is tough, try being in boarding zone five and come on, people,
Speaker 4: we can't just keep fighting each other airplanes. You have
Speaker 4: to come to get and unite so we can fight
Speaker 4: other species.
Speaker 1: The passenger stung by a scorpion.
Speaker 8: The United flight was heading from Houston to Calgary when
Speaker 8: the scorpion suddenly dropped from an overhead bin, landing on
Speaker 8: a passenger's head.
Speaker 4: Why are we fighting desert animals in the sky? Okay, Look,
Speaker 4: if a bird picks a fight from me, okay, maybe right,
Speaker 4: but a scorpion no, I'm not mentally prepared for that.
Speaker 4: And the worst part is when a scorpion stings me,
Speaker 4: I won't have the antidote because it's more than three ounces.
Speaker 4: Yeah right, So now I'm dead.
Speaker 1: Like this rabbit.
Speaker 9: United Airlines is dealing with another pr nightmare following the
Speaker 9: death of a giant rabbit.
Speaker 10: They've come out of a statement at the safety and
Speaker 10: well being of all the animals that travel with us
Speaker 10: is of the utmost importance to United Airlines. What makes
Speaker 10: match as worse was that Simon was a promising rabbit.
Speaker 10: At one hundred and twenty nine cent to me is long.
Speaker 10: His father, Darius, holds the Guinness World Records for being
Speaker 10: the biggest rabbit.
Speaker 4: Thanks a lot, United, you killed the yow ming of rabbits. Seriously,
Speaker 4: this is a professionally big rabbit. It's like first ballot
Speaker 4: Hall of Fame rabbit.
Speaker 3: Jesus running. I fly, but I didn't realize flying had
Speaker 3: gotten so bad. Man.
Speaker 1: Is there anything that the airlines can do well? I'm
Speaker 1: glad you asked, Trevor.
Speaker 4: Okay, first of all, hey, airlines, stop over booking flights. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 4: this is how you do Okay, you count the seats
Speaker 4: on your plane and then you sell that number of tickets.
Speaker 4: That's it. Sorry, is that too difficult to understand?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 4: Second thing, we don't need twenty websites searching each other
Speaker 4: for cheapest flights. Okay, just have one website, call it
Speaker 4: the cheapest Flights.
Speaker 1: That's it.
Speaker 4: Go there, we get the cheapest flights and as a delay,
Speaker 4: they should pay us. Okay, that's how it works.
Speaker 1: And if we're.
Speaker 4: Crash in the ocean, yeah, and if we crash into ocean,
Speaker 4: we need knives under all seats. Otherwise we're just seeing
Speaker 4: that like chicken nuggets, the shocks.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: Ronnie actually speaking of helping this, I read that Congress
Speaker 3: is having hearings today and Congress is gonna figure out
Speaker 3: a way to make a passenger bill of rights.
Speaker 1: Great.
Speaker 4: Congress is in charge of airlines. Next time I go home,
Speaker 4: I'm driving.
Speaker 3: Thanks Ronnie, Ronnie Chang, everybody, we'll be right back. Do
Speaker 3: you hate flying, Well, the airlines don't care.
Speaker 8: First it was shrinking legroom, then it was the overhead bendspace.
Speaker 8: Now American Airlines they're thinking about making bathrooms smaller. The
Speaker 8: company announced that they're planning to make them only two
Speaker 8: feet wide in their new planes. American Airlines new planes
Speaker 8: will have one hundred and seventy two seats, ten more
Speaker 8: than what they have now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, bathrooms are gonna get even smaller on airplanes. This
Speaker 3: is why I always choose to check my deuces at
Speaker 3: the gates.
Speaker 1: You know, Yeah, I get look, but it's worth it,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 3: I honestly wonder what asshole thing airlines will come up
Speaker 3: with next.
Speaker 1: Are they just gonna have two people per seat?
Speaker 3: You know, someone will come up to you and be like,
Speaker 3: excuse me, hello, and you'll be like, I'm sorry, Am
Speaker 3: I in your seat?
Speaker 1: And they'll be like, no, you are my seat. That's
Speaker 1: what this says, because like, when does it end?
Speaker 3: You pay for extra luggage, you pay extra for leg room,
Speaker 3: extra to guarantee your seat. You know, it's only a
Speaker 3: matter of time before they make you pay for different
Speaker 3: parts of the flights. It's gonna be like, sir, where
Speaker 3: about to descend, So I'm gonna need you to exit
Speaker 3: the plane.
Speaker 1: You're like, but we're still in the air.
Speaker 3: Oh you wanted the takeoff and landing package. Oh you
Speaker 3: don't up. So they're trying to squeeze every single dime
Speaker 3: out of us, but like really squeeze in fact, to
Speaker 3: give you an idea of how small these American airlines
Speaker 3: bathrooms would be, we're joined in the studio by our
Speaker 3: very own Daisi lightech everybody, than tell you to.
Speaker 11: Show you what we're talking about. We built a full
Speaker 11: scale model of American airlines propose twenty four inch bathroom,
Speaker 11: and it is like the walls are closing in, you know,
Speaker 11: suffocating us, like we're trapped in a hopeless marriage.
Speaker 1: You know, there's barely enough room.
Speaker 11: For a person to sit comfortably, wash their hands or
Speaker 11: shave their bikini line at thirty thousand feet.
Speaker 1: Trevor, thank you so much for that, DESI.
Speaker 3: In other news, President Trump today granted Kim Kardashian's request
Speaker 3: to commute the prison sentence of sixty three year old
Speaker 3: drug dealer Alice Marie Johnson. And you know the thing
Speaker 3: about Kim kardashi Like, have you ever noticed how she's
Speaker 3: such a great person who might one day be able
Speaker 3: to get me out of prison, Which is why I'll
Speaker 3: never make another joke about her, Yeah, because I mean,
Speaker 3: can you imagine I'll be in jail crying? Agib please
Speaker 3: tell the president and I'm innocent, and she'd.
Speaker 1: Be like, first, can you tell that joke about me
Speaker 1: and Ray J? And I'll be like, so the joke is, sorry,
Speaker 1: desire you what are you doing? Hey? When you gotta go,
Speaker 1: you gotta go. That's not a real bathroom it is?
Speaker 11: Now?
Speaker 1: All right? Does he light like everybody? Wow?
Speaker 3: Let's talk about flying now. It can be a terrifying experience.
Speaker 3: You're in a small building that's moving five hundred miles
Speaker 3: an hour in constant fear of either crashing or having
Speaker 3: to act interested in what the person next to you
Speaker 3: is saying.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's right.
Speaker 3: I guess I never did think about who distributes phone
Speaker 3: charger cables. Yeah, but for some people, flying can be
Speaker 3: even harder.
Speaker 5: A college student in California is demanding an apology from
Speaker 5: Southwest Airlines after being escorted off a plane for speaking Arabic.
Speaker 1: Wow. That is shocking. Americans can recognize Arabic. Wow, so
Speaker 1: messed up.
Speaker 3: I didn't know speaking foreign languages was against airline regulations.
Speaker 1: And when I first heard this, I thought, well, maybe
Speaker 1: he was shouting and acting like he was a threat.
Speaker 1: But no, he was just being a person who speaks Arabic.
Speaker 5: The woman sitting in front of him told the crew
Speaker 5: she overheard him making potentially threatening comments.
Speaker 12: He was on the phone with his uncle in Baghdad
Speaker 12: and used the common Arabic expression in shellah or god willing.
Speaker 12: Another passenger told security that Makzumi was using Johanna's language.
Speaker 12: He was pulled off the plane and then questioned.
Speaker 3: Wow, thrown off the flight for saying God willing? I
Speaker 3: bet the full sentence was probably god willing. My fellow passengers.
Speaker 3: Won't throw me off the flight for no reason. Nope, nope, looks.
Speaker 1: Like they're taking me away. Well, god willing, I won't
Speaker 1: get a cavity search. Nope, looks like that's happening as well.
Speaker 3: And by the way, what did that passenger mean he
Speaker 3: was using jihadist language. A language doesn't get owned by
Speaker 3: the worst people who use it.
Speaker 1: We don't call English the Real Housewives language.
Speaker 3: That's not how it works. Arabic is a language. It's
Speaker 3: not an action.
Speaker 1: No, no.
Speaker 3: Now, Look, this passenger who complained didn't know what she
Speaker 3: was talking about. And I understand that, and I understand
Speaker 3: why she was alarmed. It's because every day on TV
Speaker 3: everyone is telling her to be alarmed.
Speaker 2: The entire Obama administration refuses even to utter the words
Speaker 2: radical Islamic terrorism.
Speaker 6: There is a link between Islam and terrorism.
Speaker 13: There's a large group of violent extremists Muslims word coming
Speaker 13: to kill me and.
Speaker 14: You a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the
Speaker 14: United States.
Speaker 3: Not all Muslims are terrorists, but all terrorists are Muslim.
Speaker 3: And not all idiots are Fox News hosts, but all
Speaker 3: Fox News hosts are. Well, you'll figure it out.
Speaker 1: But Southwest Airlines, here's my thing.
Speaker 3: Just because someone saw something and said something doesn't mean
Speaker 3: you guys have to do the wrong thing. As an airline,
Speaker 3: you shouldn't be racially profiling. That's the TSA's job. Like,
Speaker 3: the problem is that Southwest is getting a reputation for
Speaker 3: doing this.
Speaker 11: A Marilyn Muslim woman says she was humiliated after getting
Speaker 11: kicked off her flight because of her religion.
Speaker 15: The woman, Hakima Adullah, who was wearing an Islamic headscarf
Speaker 15: at the time, says all she wanted to do was
Speaker 15: switch seats.
Speaker 1: Instead, she got the boot by a flight attendant.
Speaker 3: What she failed to mention was that she wanted to
Speaker 3: switch seats with the pilots. Now, now you'd think with
Speaker 3: this pattern, the least Southwest could do.
Speaker 1: Is off of an apology.
Speaker 12: Southwest says the student's removal was quote a collaborative decision
Speaker 12: rooted in established procedure.
Speaker 15: Flight attendants are allowed to remove people off flights if
Speaker 15: they pose a threat to public safety.
Speaker 1: Oh oh, rarely, Southwest.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you want to talk about public safety, maybe you
Speaker 3: should start by assigning seat numbers, because right now every
Speaker 3: single flight is like a Black Friday sale. I have
Speaker 3: to try ample three kids just to get a window seat.
Speaker 1: Three kids.
Speaker 3: You know how hard it is to enjoy of you
Speaker 3: with dead children at your feet.
Speaker 1: Thank god I had a window to look pensively out
Speaker 1: of what have I done? What have I done?
Speaker 3: And Southwest, if you're trying to sell how seriously you
Speaker 3: take safety, then maybe stop making these pre flight announcements.
Speaker 9: These days, some airlines gone crazy charging for each little thing.
Speaker 1: All right, don't get me wrong. It's it's a lot
Speaker 1: of fun.
Speaker 3: It's a lot of fun what they're doing until the
Speaker 3: plane's going down and you can't remember the lyrics to.
Speaker 1: The safety song.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because it's a song people, So now you know,
Speaker 3: like you're gonna have to do that thing where you
Speaker 3: have to sing the whole song just to get to
Speaker 3: the path that you can't remember the planes going.
Speaker 1: Down and you're like, oh, what was it done? Then stop?
Speaker 3: Buckle up and listen and listen to Oh from the
Speaker 3: ceiling by mass on the sea, leg coss on the ceiling,
Speaker 3: cos of ceiling. That does not make me feel safe.
Speaker 3: Planes are not a place where employees should be singing.
Speaker 3: It's not Coldstone Creamery. I've never been into Colstone Creamery
Speaker 3: and being like, man, this is so much fun. I
Speaker 3: wish my life was in their hands. But since Southweia
Speaker 3: Southwest doesn't look like they'll change their policy, we have
Speaker 3: The Daily Show took the libacy of at least recording
Speaker 3: a pre flight announcement that they can show to help
Speaker 3: their Muslim passengers, and this is what we came up with.
Speaker 7: Welcome aboard Southwest Airlines before takeoff. Here are a few
Speaker 7: ways our Muslim passengers can avoid terrifying their fellow travelers.
Speaker 7: Don't bring a bag on your flight because bags can
Speaker 7: have bombs in them.
Speaker 1: Instead, carry your possessions.
Speaker 7: In your arms at all times. If you speak Arabic, don't,
Speaker 7: it's a scary language, but don't not speak either, because
Speaker 7: that's also super suspicious. Instead, memorize some common English phrases.
Speaker 7: Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on
Speaker 7: car insurance. Be considerate to your non Muslim seat mates.
Speaker 7: Give them fair warning before you make any movements with
Speaker 7: your hands. I'm about to buckle my seatbelt, not detonate
Speaker 7: a suicide vest. And most important, please take a moment
Speaker 7: to locate the nearest emergency exit so that in the
Speaker 7: event of an angry mob, you'll know where to go
Speaker 7: with your parachute. Thank you Muslims for still somehow choosing Southwest.
Speaker 15: You are now for you to move about the country
Speaker 15: as long as Linda in eleven feet is cool with it.
Speaker 9: If you have a flight coming up, you may want
Speaker 9: to be careful about what you drink because a new
Speaker 9: study looked at the water safety from a dozen major airlines,
Speaker 9: and those airlines with the cleanest water are Alaska Airlines, Allegiant,
Speaker 9: Hawaiian Air Frontier, and Southwest. While the jurney is wal
Speaker 9: is it found on board Delta, American, United and Jet
Speaker 9: Blue and Spirit airlines. That might surprise you right, the
Speaker 9: study suggests sticking with bottled water on planes and avoiding
Speaker 9: the coffee and tea. You can also use hand sanitizer
Speaker 9: instead of washing your hands in the bathroom.
Speaker 3: Yes, it turns out if you've been drinking water on
Speaker 3: a plane, your bowels may be in danger. And honestly,
Speaker 3: this was surprising to me because I always knew that
Speaker 3: the water in the bathroom wasn't for drinking, right, use
Speaker 3: that to.
Speaker 1: Wash your feet, But.
Speaker 3: I didn't know that the water they serve you can
Speaker 3: also be dirty.
Speaker 1: Like how does it get that bad? Do they take
Speaker 1: the hot.
Speaker 3: Towels from business closses and squeeze the water into cupture economy?
Speaker 1: Is that what they do? It's like, what does that taste? Sir?
Speaker 1: That is the taste of success. And that list was
Speaker 1: pretty interesting as well.
Speaker 3: You've got a Laskin at the top and then only
Speaker 3: way at the bottom is Spirit Airlines. And I know,
Speaker 3: I know some people think Spirits should be ashamed that
Speaker 3: they're number ten, but to be honest, I was impressed
Speaker 3: that they have water.
Speaker 1: On their fly.
Speaker 16: Yeah.
Speaker 3: The only refreshments on Spirit are your own tears of regret.
Speaker 3: Spirit Airlines, our watter has the least of your problems.
Speaker 3: If you love flying, but you hate crying babies, well,
Speaker 3: then maybe you should be flying to Japan.
Speaker 16: Japan Airlines is coming to the rescue of travelers who
Speaker 16: don't want to sit near a crying baby. Japan Airlines
Speaker 16: seat selection map now shows where babies will be seated
Speaker 16: on upcoming flights. This is good news for parents traveling
Speaker 16: with children as well, since they can try to congregate
Speaker 16: around fellow travelers with babies who won't mind being around them.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, what a genius move.
Speaker 3: Japan Airlines will show you where the babies are on
Speaker 3: a plane before you book your seat.
Speaker 1: It's the best invention in flying since the seatback tray.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, because.
Speaker 3: Before the tray, when you asked for orange juice, you
Speaker 3: just have to be like yes, please, Yes, I love
Speaker 3: the idea. I want to see where the babies are
Speaker 3: on a flight because there's nothing worse than thinking you're
Speaker 3: going to sleep on a plane, but then you realize
Speaker 3: you sitting next to a.
Speaker 1: Tiny crazy person, because that's where babies are. It's a tiny.
Speaker 3: Crazy person just screaming and shitting themselves.
Speaker 1: Ah, when they eat their feet, what are you?
Speaker 15: I also hope this means more babies will sit next
Speaker 15: to each other. Yeah, because that's the only way you
Speaker 15: can ever get a baby to stop crying. Have you
Speaker 15: ever been around babies right, like, there's one baby crying,
Speaker 15: and then have you noticed when a baby sees another
Speaker 15: baby crying, like.
Speaker 3: They'll be like ah, and another baby like ah, and.
Speaker 1: They'll be like whoa, what's going on there? They'd be
Speaker 1: like this, this person's weird? Is that is something I'm
Speaker 1: gonna deal with this? So I love the idea. I
Speaker 1: also don't think we should stop there. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I don't just want to know where the baby's on
Speaker 3: a plane. I also want to know where the dude
Speaker 3: who snores is going to be on the.
Speaker 1: Plane, all right. I want to know where the person
Speaker 1: who gets up and goes.
Speaker 3: To the bathroom five times an hour it's going to
Speaker 3: be on a plane. And I definitely want to know
Speaker 3: where the people who talk to you the whole flight
Speaker 3: are going to be on the plane.
Speaker 1: All right. Talking is for the runway once we get
Speaker 1: over ten thousand feet. Shut up, I'm not your friend.
Speaker 1: We'll talk ya. How are you not always like who's
Speaker 1: seat bustide?
Speaker 3: When that goes off, your mouth goes off as well.
Speaker 3: So congrats to Japan Airlines for letting me see the
Speaker 3: seats with the crying babies, and congrats to Spirit Airlines
Speaker 3: who have announced a new feature.
Speaker 1: Unless you see where the adults will be crying Spirit Airlines,
Speaker 1: you wish you were sitting next to a baby.
Speaker 3: Millions of people we'll be traveling for the holidays next week,
Speaker 3: and just in time, our favorite airline has made a
Speaker 3: major announcement.
Speaker 14: Spirit Airlines unveiled its redesigned cabinet features more comfortable seats
Speaker 14: and bigger trade tables. Spirits as the seats, we'll offer
Speaker 14: two extra inches of usable leg room and full sized tables.
Speaker 14: The change coming after the carrier faced a lot of
Speaker 14: criticism over the years about thin seats and tight leg
Speaker 14: room space. The new interior is currently installed on one
Speaker 14: airplane so far, but the plan is to try and
Speaker 14: make it available across the entire.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Stirring Airlines has finally upgraded their planes, and can
Speaker 3: I just say I'm so proud, more leg room, a
Speaker 3: full sized trade table, and.
Speaker 1: Just look at those seats, huh. I mean sure it
Speaker 1: looks like they stole them from the.
Speaker 3: Delta terminal, but still, but still, And you also could
Speaker 3: argue that a full sized trade table is a weird
Speaker 3: thing to brag about. But on the bright side, now
Speaker 3: you have room to put the meal they don't give you.
Speaker 1: This is great, So congratulations, Spurt.
Speaker 3: I mean, we dissed them a lot on the show,
Speaker 3: but this is a big improvement over their old seats,
Speaker 3: which were just a dirty couch they found on the street.
Speaker 3: I think that's great. Airplanes, they used to be a
Speaker 3: magical way to travel in style, but these days they're
Speaker 3: so cramped in frustrating it's turning into fight club in
Speaker 3: the sky.
Speaker 13: A passenger on a recent American Airlines flight says a
Speaker 13: man assaulted her by continuously punching her seat. See that
Speaker 13: guy back there punching that woman. So that is Wendy
Speaker 13: Williams sitting in the seat there, She said. The man
Speaker 13: initially asked her to recline up while he ate. She
Speaker 13: says she obliged, and when the man was done eating,
Speaker 13: she reclined back again. That's when she said he kept
Speaker 13: hammering away at the back of her seat. You could
Speaker 13: just see him punching, punching, punching, punching. In a statement
Speaker 13: to CBS News, American Airline says they are aware of
Speaker 13: this and looking into the issue.
Speaker 3: Really, people, this is just childish, and I mean for
Speaker 3: both of these passengers. First of all, guy punching right,
Speaker 3: if this woman is reclining into your space, you don't
Speaker 3: hit the back of her seat. Come on, grow up,
Speaker 3: do the mature thing. You call the flight attendant over
Speaker 3: and you tell them you show this lady putting drugs
Speaker 3: up her butt.
Speaker 1: That's what you do.
Speaker 3: And as for the reclining woman, do you really need
Speaker 3: to recline?
Speaker 1: Huh?
Speaker 3: Does that extra two inches help you relax? There's nothing
Speaker 3: relaxing about flying. You're trapped inside a bullet full of thoughts.
Speaker 3: Just sit upright for a couple of hours.
Speaker 1: I don't understand these fights.
Speaker 3: If you ask me, these two passengers shouldn't be mad
Speaker 3: at each other. They should be mad at the airline.
Speaker 3: Think about it, they're the ones who keeps squeezing all
Speaker 3: those seats closer and closer, making the rest of us
Speaker 3: fight for the overhead bins and full of space.
Speaker 1: Pretty soon flying is going to turn into the Hunger Games.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is gonna put one bag of pretzels in
Speaker 3: the aisle and be like.
Speaker 1: All right, passengers, lunch has been served. May the odds
Speaker 1: be ever in your favor.
Speaker 4: With all this money Congress is sending overseas, you might
Speaker 4: be wondering, hey, when does Ronnie gallow taste of this? Now,
Speaker 4: where's the government gonna do a little something from me?
Speaker 14: The Biden administration revealing new airline passenger rights protecting folks
Speaker 14: from hidden fees and other frustrations of flying, like the
Speaker 14: refund policy for flight delays.
Speaker 2: Passengers must now get automatic cash refunds when a flight
Speaker 2: is canceled for any reason or delayed by more than
Speaker 2: three hours for domestic flights more than six hours for international.
Speaker 4: Okay, cash, fun, that's something.
Speaker 10: Yeah, yeah, I mean I'm always having airplane delays.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's pretty good. I mean, but but you know,
Speaker 4: delays is only a small pop of the problem.
Speaker 1: I mean, what if you know, you know, when.
Speaker 4: Airlines make you change airports or they add connections, and
Speaker 4: they always just trying to screw you over.
Speaker 2: If the airline changes any of your airports, adds connections,
Speaker 2: downgrades your seat, or even changes the plane to one
Speaker 2: that's less accessible to.
Speaker 1: Those with disabilities, those.
Speaker 2: Are all new reasons for cast refunds.
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm coustiously autimistic. It's good I've got my attention.
Speaker 4: Uh it is pretty good. In fact, it feels a
Speaker 4: little too good to be true. But hey, I guess
Speaker 4: all I have to worry about now is losing my
Speaker 4: luggage and a shitty WiFi.
Speaker 2: If your check bags aren't delivered within as little as
Speaker 2: twelve hours or your WiFi doesn't work, you're entitled to refunds.
Speaker 4: This is the greatest thing the government has ever.
Speaker 3: Done in history, I mean the New Deal history.
Speaker 1: Jordan.
Speaker 4: The man is refunding you for Wi Fi in the
Speaker 4: sky and that doesn't work.
Speaker 1: What more could you want?
Speaker 2: I mean, you still gotta fix that thing with the
Speaker 2: doors falling off into that.
Speaker 4: But thank you, Joe Biden, thank you for making my
Speaker 4: life better. And I'll just bring back Roe V Waye
Speaker 4: so i'd have to sit next to a crying baby
Speaker 4: on a red eye.
Speaker 6: Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
Speaker 6: searching The.
Speaker 3: Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1: Watch The Daily Show week nights at eleven.
Speaker 3: Ten Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime
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