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Speaker 1: This is intergalactic John.

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Speaker 2: This is Alien Sam.

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Speaker 3: On the International Okay Storytime podcast station, and we have

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Speaker 3: some human stories coming up, not alien, but.

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Speaker 1: Before we make a landing, stick around for this two

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Speaker 1: minute not alien ad break before we get to these

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Speaker 1: interstellar stories.

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Speaker 4: My best friend lied about me to his girlfriend and

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Speaker 4: now it's ruined our friendship.

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Speaker 2: Tell the truth.

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Speaker 4: I thirty four female have been best friends with this guy,

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Speaker 4: George thirty three mail for over thirteen years now. We

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Speaker 4: met at the same job and over the twelve hour

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Speaker 4: days Wow really bonded over our same love of nerdy stuff,

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Speaker 4: dumb humor, and the Steelers.

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Speaker 2: We have a very brother.

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Speaker 4: Sister relationship where we understand each other pretty well, but

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Speaker 4: the thought of any schmickshet time between us makes us

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Speaker 4: both visibly ill strictly bros, which is what we tell

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Speaker 4: everyone when they first ask about a friendship. By the

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Speaker 4: way this comes from, canreak it soon and if you

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Speaker 4: want to submit your own stories, go to the.

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Speaker 2: Our slash Okay Storytime separated it.

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Speaker 4: So let me also say that our whole thing is

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Speaker 4: playing video games online a couple of times a week

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Speaker 4: like GTA, Baltersgate three and Stardow Valley. We also send

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Speaker 4: dumb memes to each other throughout the day and text

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Speaker 4: about work and current relationship stuff to get the straight

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Speaker 4: female or straight male opinion, depending on who's asking. But

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Speaker 4: we don't live close to each other, and I actually

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Speaker 4: haven't seen him in person in two years since he

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Speaker 4: came to help me install flooring into one room of

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Speaker 4: my new house after I bought it.

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Speaker 2: It's a very nice of him, yeah.

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Speaker 4: He Late in twenty twenty four, George started dating Sarah,

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Speaker 4: thirty one, female who we met while away at Air

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Speaker 4: Force training in Texas. I was insanely happy to see

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Speaker 4: him talking to her because up until then he was

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Speaker 4: only seeing girls who were some sort of project for him.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I say seeing because aside from one, he was a

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Speaker 4: legit f boy and as soon as a woman started

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Speaker 4: forming feelings he would start to ghost them and make

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Speaker 4: them feel crazy.

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Speaker 2: That's not good, that's bad, that is bad.

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Speaker 4: Don't that bad, Don't do that, don't do that. Always

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Speaker 4: after getting his fun times and I was tired of

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Speaker 4: the drama, he would always complain about that he had caused,

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Speaker 4: and yes, I pointed out that it was his fault.

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Speaker 2: Ninety percent of the time. Good friend.

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Speaker 4: Anyway, when he started talking to Sarah, it was great.

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Speaker 4: She's smart, has a great job, has a good head

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Speaker 4: on her shoulders, and had a ton in common with him.

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Speaker 4: He stopped talking to the one ex he couldn't quit

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Speaker 4: because but Who was super toxic for him. She was

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Speaker 4: married and blamed all her problems on him. George would

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Speaker 4: go down to see Sarah and her two sons because

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Speaker 4: she is still down in Texas, and he would tell

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Speaker 4: me about it, and I could tell that this was different.

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Speaker 4: I would tell him to take his time and don't rush,

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Speaker 4: because in the past that always led to ghosting. It

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Speaker 4: was promising to see him in an adult relationship. Starting

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Speaker 4: in twenty twenty five, I started to realize something. So

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Speaker 4: when I was on the headset with George during video games,

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Speaker 4: a lot of times she would call to chat with him,

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Speaker 4: and because he didn't want to quit the game, he'd

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Speaker 4: leave the headset on so we could still communicate. Sarah

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Speaker 4: asked what he was up to, and he said that

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Speaker 4: he was playing games, and when she asked with who,

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Speaker 4: he simply stated the one other.

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Speaker 2: Guy in the group. Uh uh so not.

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Speaker 4: This happened a couple more times before I pointed out

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Speaker 4: to him and asked what the heck was going on.

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Speaker 4: George told me that Sarah didn't like the fact that

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Speaker 4: he had a female bro and it was just easier

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Speaker 4: to pretend that I wasn't there or else.

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Speaker 2: She got upset and didn't talk to him.

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Speaker 4: I told him I didn't like that because it made

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Speaker 4: me feel like I was the other woman and I

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Speaker 4: literally wasn't doing anything wrong. He told me that I

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Speaker 4: was making it a bigger deal than it was and

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Speaker 4: just let him handle it, so I dropped it. Over

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Speaker 4: the next several months, several more things happened. She added

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Speaker 4: me on Facebook, which I didn't mind at all because

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Speaker 4: I was all about transparency and thought it would be

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Speaker 4: better to see that I was involved with another guy romantically,

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Speaker 4: not George.

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Speaker 2: Sarah, on one of.

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Speaker 4: His visits to her, asked if she bought a PS

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Speaker 4: five and online he would spend his free evenings playing

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Speaker 4: with her sons when he was back away at home.

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Speaker 4: He said he had already played with them on the switch,

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Speaker 4: but the PS five is more for him and his

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Speaker 4: bros and the games that they played.

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Speaker 2: She also got a hold.

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Speaker 4: Of his phone and looked through his messages and saw

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Speaker 4: all the memes that we were sending to each other

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Speaker 4: on Instagram and Facebook, again, all about sports games or

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Speaker 4: the new Harry Potter. But she asked him why he

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Speaker 4: didn't send her that kind of stuff. These last two

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Speaker 4: examples he told me about after the fact. So we

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Speaker 4: come to a couple of days ago, he and I

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Speaker 4: are talking and after one joke, he tells me, why

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Speaker 4: can't you be attracted to the same gender?

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Speaker 2: Haha.

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Speaker 4: I asked him what that's supposed to mean, and he

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Speaker 4: tells me, well, then my current girlfriend wouldn't constantly be

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Speaker 4: jealous and yelling about and yelling at me about talking

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Speaker 4: to you.

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Speaker 2: Dude, why are you in a relationship with this girl?

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Speaker 2: This is not someone we want. Why are you in

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Speaker 2: a relationship with this girl? YI stude.

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Speaker 4: At this point, after months of hearing him complain about

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Speaker 4: this issue, I finally snapped. I told him I understood

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Speaker 4: that she had been hurt in the past. She on twice,

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Speaker 4: and I knew that that took some healing, but he

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Speaker 4: needed to man up and talk to her about these

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Speaker 4: trust issues because I was not going to keep acting

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Speaker 4: like we weren't hanging out or talking. He started to

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Speaker 4: get annoyed and we started arguing because he said, as usual,

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Speaker 4: it wasn't that big of a problem. I asked him,

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Speaker 4: because they had talked about possible marriage. Had he told

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Speaker 4: her that I was going to be one of his groomsmen,

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Speaker 4: a plan that we've had for years, as well as

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Speaker 4: him being one of my bridesmaids. His response was that

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Speaker 4: he would just surprise her when it was too late

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Speaker 4: to turn back.

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Speaker 2: You're not ready to get married to this woman. This

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Speaker 2: is not something you should do, George.

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Speaker 4: George, I'm gonna bring this up, something that's gonna upset

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Speaker 4: you when.

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Speaker 2: You are well, you already locked in.

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Speaker 4: He already is it's too late, You can't get no

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Speaker 4: taking back, exactly, no dag backs.

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Speaker 2: My gosh.

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Speaker 4: I couldn't believe how thick headed he was being, and said,

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Speaker 4: what are you going to do.

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Speaker 2: When she asks you for her to stop talking to

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Speaker 2: me to make her happy? He yelled back, She's not

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Speaker 2: like the other girls. She's not gonna do that.

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Speaker 4: Finally, I said, you need to grow a pair and

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Speaker 4: be honest and acknowledge that yes we are hanging out

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Speaker 4: but online and talking, but that you love her, and

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Speaker 4: make it clearer that you and I are nothing but friends.

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Speaker 4: I told him to invite her to one of our

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Speaker 4: gaming sessions, or invite her up to his house.

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Speaker 2: I will drive the four hours too, bring the guy

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Speaker 2: that I'm seeing, and we could hang out.

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Speaker 4: She could get to know me face to face and

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Speaker 4: see how and see that how we interacted had very

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Speaker 4: big sapling vibes. But anything to make her more comfortable

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Speaker 4: with anything. He said, No, he wasn't comfortable with that.

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Speaker 4: I emphasized that he needed to do it, or else

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Speaker 4: I was going to reach.

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Speaker 2: Out to her myself. He got really mad at that

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Speaker 2: and told me that I was not to talk to her. Well, now, yeah, okay,

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Speaker 2: that's weird. Yeah, why do you want to keep them apart? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Why aren't you comfortable with them talking? Strange?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, either he actually does have feelings, or or he

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Speaker 4: doesn't see that this is a problem, or he's scared

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Speaker 4: of his girlfriends.

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Speaker 2: There's a multitude of ones, answers, a lot of options

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Speaker 2: that could be wrong with this situation.

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Speaker 4: I stopped talking to him the past couple of days.

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Speaker 4: He's been acting like nothing had happened, sending me stuff

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Speaker 4: and trying to play online.

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Speaker 2: But I've denied or.

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Speaker 4: Not responded to anything. So am I being the ale

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Speaker 4: telling him that he needs to deal with Sarah's trust

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Speaker 4: issues with our friendship, and there is an update two

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Speaker 4: months later, but definitely not.

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Speaker 2: The able, no way.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, he's the one that just has not ever understood

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Speaker 4: how to not be toxic in a relationship.

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Speaker 2: He literally has never had seemingly a good relationship. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: no matter how might try to convince him. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: now he's talking gar Come on, dude, be real.

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Speaker 4: It's been a few months and some things have happened,

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Speaker 4: so I thought I would offer an update on everything.

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Speaker 4: George was still not confronting the issue that his girlfriend

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Speaker 4: had about our friendship. He has told me that she'd

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Speaker 4: brought it up that if she was talking to another

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Speaker 4: guy as much as he was talking to me, then

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Speaker 4: he would be.

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Speaker 2: Super jealous of that.

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Speaker 4: For a while, it was the same stuff, acting like

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Speaker 4: we weren't playing video games, when we were not bringing

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Speaker 4: me up, et cetera. Things escalated last week when all

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Speaker 4: of a sudden, George messages me and says, Hey, I'm

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Speaker 4: trying to keep Sarah's crazy down, so I'm going to

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Speaker 4: remove our friendships from social media, but we're still homies.

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Speaker 2: Crazy. You're the one who is making her feel like

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Speaker 2: there's something going on between you and op yeah, because

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Speaker 2: you meet. Yeah, I would be suspicious too if I

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Speaker 2: was like, hey, would love to meet your friend and

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Speaker 2: if you're hiding her, Like.

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Speaker 4: If if I was suspicious of a friendship and I

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Speaker 4: was like, hey, like just gonna throw it out there,

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Speaker 4: like what's going on there?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: And he's like, oh, it's nothing. But then like later

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Speaker 4: it's like, oh, no, I'm not hanging out with her.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he's lying every time.

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Speaker 4: It's like, okay, well I just immediately you yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 4: so it's both of them are the a whole, not

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Speaker 4: you op yeah.

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Speaker 2: And then promptly he does just that.

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Speaker 4: I go off on him and tell him that if

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Speaker 4: he's playing these games, then we aren't friends anymore, because

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Speaker 4: I am not some side chick of a friendship, especially

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Speaker 4: when I'm not doing anything wrong. He complained that he

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Speaker 4: thought I would be more of a bro about this,

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Speaker 4: but said that he was just trying to stop from

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Speaker 4: getting yelled at, and since that plan had clearly not worked,

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Speaker 4: he re added me to everything immediately.

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Speaker 2: This still had taken me off.

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Speaker 4: So when yesterday hit, I noticed the two gifts that

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Speaker 4: I posted on to his post out of twelve posts

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Speaker 4: for the day, yes I counted, had been removed by him.

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Speaker 4: I once again called him out on it. His response

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Speaker 4: once again was I feel a bunch of crazy witching

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Speaker 4: coming my way again. If Sarah sees this. I had

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Speaker 4: had enough. As mentioned before, Sarah and I are friends

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Speaker 4: on Facebook, a move I had no issue with because

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Speaker 4: that way she would be able to look into me

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Speaker 4: and see what I was all about. So, because we're

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Speaker 4: friends on Facebook, I messaged her the following, Hey, I

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Speaker 4: just wanted to take the time to personally reach out.

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Speaker 4: I became aware that George was really a slight idiot

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Speaker 4: when it comes to communication, so I figure that this

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Speaker 4: was the best way to do this.

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Speaker 2: If you ever want to ask me anything, feel free to.

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Speaker 2: As a fellow female, I know what it's like to

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Speaker 2: have this other random girl that you don't know anything about.

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Speaker 4: There any normal woman gets that loo And like I said,

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Speaker 4: George's emotional communication is poop. When I asked him if

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Speaker 4: he ever actually explained our friendship in detailed to you,

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Speaker 4: he just goes, I don't know, maybe try too early.

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Speaker 4: On the point is, if you ever want to ask

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Speaker 4: anything or clarification or details.

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Speaker 2: I would be happy to answer anything you have.

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Speaker 4: I promise you I have absolutely zero interest in him

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Speaker 4: other than that target practice for fireballs and games or

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Speaker 4: to hit him with the car.

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Speaker 2: And I really want you to to work out.

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Speaker 4: I've been the big Sarah supporter since before you guys

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Speaker 4: were talking, because I could see that you were the

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Speaker 4: first appropriate girl with a great head on her shoulders

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Speaker 4: and wasn't insane total package. I told him and said

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Speaker 4: that he would be an idiot if he messed this up.

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Speaker 4: I don't think you would be an idiot if he

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Speaker 4: I mean, the way he is messing up is definitely

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Speaker 4: idiot behavior.

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Speaker 2: It's just not free. But I disagree. I don't think

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Speaker 2: for each other.

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Speaker 4: I think it's gonna be fine if this relationship ends

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Speaker 4: and if she doesn't want to continue, because I don't

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Speaker 4: think she's a total package.

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Speaker 2: She yells at him. Think either of them are any

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Speaker 2: sort of package.

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Speaker 4: Also, I would love to invite you some time to

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Speaker 4: play video games with us and chat on Discord. I

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Speaker 4: know you and your boys have a switch, but I'm

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Speaker 4: sure we could find cross platform kid friendly games like

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Speaker 4: Fall Guys or Starty Valley sometime. All this to say,

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Speaker 4: I hope we get the chance to actually get to

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Speaker 4: know each other instead of him just springing me on

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Speaker 4: you as as was his plan. And if you want to,

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Speaker 4: feel free to let him know that I reached out.

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Speaker 4: I kind of let him have it this morning when

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Speaker 4: we were having this discussion, so knowing me, he wouldn't

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Speaker 4: be so shocked that I did this.

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Speaker 2: Haha.

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Speaker 4: So I said this to her and waited, and about

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Speaker 4: three hours later I got this response.

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Speaker 2: So mad. She's gonna be so much. He's gotta be pissed.

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Speaker 2: I can already smell the reply from her. She's gonna

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Speaker 2: be eaved. It's all good. You have nothing to explain.

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Speaker 4: Oh early on I was if he just stuff how

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Speaker 4: things were said, but I told him that I would

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Speaker 4: never come in between a friendship, especially that he knew

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Speaker 4: before me. I just asked him to think how he

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Speaker 4: would react if the roles were reversed, and to understand

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Speaker 4: that most women would not be okay with it. So

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Speaker 4: know how much I do trust him.

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Speaker 2: Dude, she's totally wrong.

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Speaker 3: When she's normal's person, she might shot either.

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Speaker 4: He's a liar, she's lying right now, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I don't think she was.

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Speaker 3: He's an unreliable narrator.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, she's not crazy and insane. He's a

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Speaker 2: liar and emotionally immature. But the line of most women

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Speaker 2: would not be okay with it. I disagree. I'd be

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Speaker 2: okay with it having a friend like I so most

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Speaker 2: of my friends are men. Yeah, I don't. I don't

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Speaker 2: like that. Wasn't planned, It just happened, just happened. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I don't. I don't like that.

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Speaker 4: It was sweet of you to reach out, though, and

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Speaker 4: I really appreciate it. You can message him as much

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Speaker 4: as you want, and you don't ever have to stop

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Speaker 4: commenting on anything or not have a conversation with him,

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Speaker 4: or feel like you can't talk to him. I respect

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Speaker 4: El's friendship and wouldn't want to come between that. He

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Speaker 4: said that he was going to message you, and I

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Speaker 4: told him absolutely know that it wasn't that serious, So

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Speaker 4: I'm sorry if it was made out to be more than.

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Speaker 2: What it is.

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Speaker 4: She and I continued chatting for about an hour about monopoly,

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Speaker 4: her kids are different states, etc. It was awesome to

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Speaker 4: actually get to talk to her as a person. What

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Speaker 4: I hadn't known was that George had never told her

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Speaker 4: that I knew he had told me that she was

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Speaker 4: uncomfortable with some things, which I had assumed that he

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Speaker 4: had because he would say, Sarah asked me to ask

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Speaker 4: you insert one of the requests here. So when I

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Speaker 4: wrote so, when I wrote that, I was under the

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Speaker 4: assumption that she knew I was aware of things.

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Speaker 2: This, I will say one hundred percent my bad for assuming.

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Speaker 4: George starts blowing up my phone freaking out on me

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Speaker 4: because now Sarah facetimed him and asked if he told

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Speaker 4: me any of the things that she had told him,

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Speaker 4: and telling him now that this was such a huge loss.

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Speaker 2: Of trust for her with him, and just getting angrier.

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Speaker 2: So he's mad at you for some thing he did

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00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:04,000
Speaker 2: in his relationship. Cool, got it? Love it.

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Speaker 4: He started chewing me out about how dare I talk

327
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Speaker 4: to her and I'm not involved and what gives me

328
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Speaker 4: the right? I told him, well, I'm not in the relationship.

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00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:14,679
Speaker 4: I was involved because he made me involved by not

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Speaker 4: having the balls to simply talk to her because he

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Speaker 4: didn't want any kind of argument, and I was tired

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Speaker 4: of having to hide that I existed for his comfort.

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00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:27,840
Speaker 2: Just crazy because he kept having arguments. Yeah, literally probably

334
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Speaker 2: would have less if he talked to her.

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Speaker 4: Right then while keeping him as a friend, she removed

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Speaker 4: all pictures and tags of him suddenly on her Facebook page,

337
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Speaker 4: And boy did I soon find out why.

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Speaker 2: There is a little bit more to the story, but

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Speaker 2: I think I think either they just broke up, yeah,

340
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,400
Speaker 2: or she got that he cheated.

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Speaker 4: Mmmm my other option that would be interesting, That would

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00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:54,200
Speaker 4: be interesting.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: See the part in my message where I was talking

345
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Speaker 4: her up and saying that she was a total package

346
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Speaker 4: and like the other girls, Well, she didn't know about

347
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Speaker 4: the other girls.

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Speaker 2: Freaking call, I thought, So I knew, I knew it

349
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Speaker 2: from the freaking beginning. Yeah. Op told us that he

350
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Speaker 2: was terrible in all of his other relationships. There was

351
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:15,880
Speaker 2: no way that he just magically figured out how to

352
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Speaker 2: be in a relationship, especially because he didn't know how

353
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Speaker 2: to do anything else in this relationship.

354
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Speaker 4: Yeah, and I did wonder that too about about Op's message,

355
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:25,480
Speaker 4: like he did. She didn't mention like like, yeah, like

356
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Speaker 4: he hasn't been in serious relationships before, or like he

357
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:32,840
Speaker 4: was not in healthy relationships before, and she'd probably be like,

358
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Speaker 4: so what happened in those other relationships?

359
00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:35,480
Speaker 1: Then?

360
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:38,520
Speaker 4: George had only told her about the one, which, in

361
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:41,360
Speaker 4: defense was the only serious one, but never mentioned any

362
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Speaker 4: of the others that he was with for maybe a

363
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Speaker 4: couple of months at the time, and there were many.

364
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Speaker 2: Okay, so he didn't cheat. He just didn't tell this

365
00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:50,440
Speaker 2: exact relation exactly.

366
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Speaker 4: In his apparent reasoning, she was too emotional, and even

367
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:56,760
Speaker 4: when he brought up the one, she would get in

368
00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,160
Speaker 4: a mood, so to not make her upset and angry,

369
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Speaker 4: he just acted like he had the one.

370
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Speaker 2: I don't even believe him anymore.

371
00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:04,560
Speaker 4: When she reread the implication that there had been more

372
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:06,560
Speaker 4: than one to compare her to, she lost it on

373
00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:10,000
Speaker 4: him even more, asking if anything about the relationship was truthful,

374
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Speaker 4: and then cutting off communication to him for the night.

375
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Speaker 4: He of course kept flipping out on me for another hour,

376
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Speaker 4: saying that I had ruined the only relationship he's ever cared.

377
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:20,360
Speaker 2: About, et cetera, et cetera. Dude, I would not let

378
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:24,120
Speaker 2: him go on for an hour. I block. Yeah, Like, dude,

379
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:25,760
Speaker 2: I don't want to be friends with you anymore. Sarah,

380
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:29,360
Speaker 2: seems very cooler. You also ruined this relationship. Yeah yeah.

381
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,800
Speaker 4: As of writing this post the next day, everyone's still

382
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:34,480
Speaker 4: friends on everyone's social media, But I'm giving him some space,

383
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:36,880
Speaker 4: not only to let him breathe, but also I'm still

384
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:39,400
Speaker 4: pissed off that he's been alright treating me like crap

385
00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:42,120
Speaker 4: and not caring if my feelings were hurt, even as

386
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,920
Speaker 4: just the friend, all the while expecting me to be

387
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:45,520
Speaker 4: fine with it.

388
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:49,520
Speaker 2: And that is the end of that story. Wow, dude, yikes, dude,

389
00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:51,240
Speaker 2: you don't know how to do relationships.

390
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:56,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's just lies. Man, there's lies. Don't be

391
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,640
Speaker 4: friends with him anymore, friends with a good friend, don't

392
00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:00,880
Speaker 4: be friends with people like this. You have to hide

393
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:03,760
Speaker 4: your friendship. Yeah, you were just gonna say, don't be

394
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:05,120
Speaker 4: friends with people, don't be.

395
00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:09,240
Speaker 2: Friends with people, stop, and I can't be can't be

396
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:13,960
Speaker 2: friends anymore, So we go, workers're per person. My friend

397
00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:18,359
Speaker 2: lied to me about her wedding. Now I'm finally done. Liar, liar,

398
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:22,119
Speaker 2: pants on fire. I twenty nine female have been friends

399
00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:24,640
Speaker 2: with Bailey twenty nine females since we met at our

400
00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:28,119
Speaker 2: college job in twenty sixteen. Over the past nine years,

401
00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:31,600
Speaker 2: I've watched Bailey kiss a lot of frogs. Ain't that

402
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,040
Speaker 2: the truth system? That's such a good way to put it.

403
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:36,680
Speaker 2: In twenty twenty three, she met Nathan thirty one, male

404
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:40,640
Speaker 2: who immediately seemed different. After dating for around a year

405
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:43,080
Speaker 2: and a half, Bailey and Nathan announced their plans to

406
00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:46,800
Speaker 2: get married. I was supportive, as I've spent a lot

407
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:49,000
Speaker 2: of time with Nathan and think he's a great guy

408
00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:52,040
Speaker 2: who treats Bailey well. By the way, this comes from

409
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:54,159
Speaker 2: rather glad and if you want to spend your own stories,

410
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,840
Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay story time separate it. So,

411
00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,960
Speaker 2: since the first year of our friendship, Bailey has called

412
00:18:00,119 --> 00:18:02,399
Speaker 2: me her best friend and talked about me being the

413
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,000
Speaker 2: maid of honor in her wedding, even though she has

414
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,520
Speaker 2: a sister and is still in touch with her childhood

415
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:10,560
Speaker 2: best friend. I am fairly indifferent about being a maid

416
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:13,119
Speaker 2: of honor and never asked her or told her this

417
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:15,920
Speaker 2: was important to me, so she wasn't saying it to

418
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:18,600
Speaker 2: shut me up because she thought I needed to hear it, etc.

419
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:22,400
Speaker 2: In fact, I remember being taken aback at first. Over

420
00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:25,080
Speaker 2: the past few years, Bailey has met and gotten close

421
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:28,760
Speaker 2: with several other girls, in particular Kay, who I think

422
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:32,879
Speaker 2: is really Bailey's closest friend for some reason, even after

423
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:35,720
Speaker 2: meeting other girls and becoming closer with them, in my opinion,

424
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:39,200
Speaker 2: which is normal. She has continued to insist that I

425
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,760
Speaker 2: am her best friend and will be her maid of honor.

426
00:18:42,359 --> 00:18:45,360
Speaker 2: I moved across the country for work in twenty twenty two,

427
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:48,439
Speaker 2: and while Bailey remained in our home state on the

428
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:51,120
Speaker 2: East Coast. We live in the US. I visit home

429
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:54,000
Speaker 2: multiple times per year. Last summer, I went on a

430
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:57,320
Speaker 2: trip with Bailey, Nathan, and Bailey's cousin, Mila, twenty two

431
00:18:57,359 --> 00:19:00,359
Speaker 2: females who Bailey has only become close with in the

432
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:03,480
Speaker 2: last two years. This is when Bailey and Nathan told

433
00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:06,840
Speaker 2: us their plans to get married. At the time of

434
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:10,720
Speaker 2: the trip, Nathan already had Bailey's engagement ring, which she

435
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:14,320
Speaker 2: had selected and ordered for herself and had delivered to

436
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:18,280
Speaker 2: Nathan's parents' house. Nathan wanted to propose on the trip,

437
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:21,960
Speaker 2: but Bailey told him not to. Ultimately, Bailey ended up

438
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,800
Speaker 2: planning her own proposal with the help of her cousin, Mila,

439
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:29,159
Speaker 2: and her friend, who is a photographer. Bailey called me

440
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:32,840
Speaker 2: multiple times per week, for hours at a time, so

441
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:36,040
Speaker 2: I stayed updated on the proposal planning. I once sat

442
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,200
Speaker 2: in my car until I was late for work meeting

443
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:41,760
Speaker 2: because Bailey called me anxious about the proposal. I remember

444
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:43,800
Speaker 2: thinking at the time that I would probably have been

445
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:46,679
Speaker 2: a more active participant in the planning if I hadn't

446
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:50,040
Speaker 2: made the choice to move so far away, which made

447
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:53,639
Speaker 2: me a bit sad. As the plans for the proposal materialized,

448
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,320
Speaker 2: it became clear that there would be an engagement celebration

449
00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:00,439
Speaker 2: right after, and that most of Bailey's girlfriends, her cousin,

450
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,680
Speaker 2: and Nathan's family would be in attendance. At this point,

451
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:05,600
Speaker 2: I expressed to Bailey that I wanted to buy a

452
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,640
Speaker 2: plane ticket so that I could attend the engagement celebration,

453
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,840
Speaker 2: but she told me not to and became vague about

454
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:15,440
Speaker 2: the final date and location of the engagement. A week

455
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,800
Speaker 2: before the planned proposal, in October twenty twenty four, Bailey

456
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,160
Speaker 2: called to let me know that she and Nathan had

457
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:25,359
Speaker 2: gotten married in the courthouse. Ugh, but swore me to secrecy.

458
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:26,359
Speaker 4: Oom.

459
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:30,600
Speaker 2: What but like I thought I was your best friend. Yeah, Like,

460
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:32,640
Speaker 2: this is the person who's supposedly going to be your

461
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,240
Speaker 2: maid of honor and you didn't even tell her that

462
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:38,760
Speaker 2: you were getting married, right. The engagement celebration proceeded with

463
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,719
Speaker 2: Bailey's other girlfriends having no knowledge that she was in

464
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:45,760
Speaker 2: fact already married. After the proposal, Bailey called to tell

465
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:48,000
Speaker 2: me that she was engaged and to ask me to

466
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:51,680
Speaker 2: be a bridesmaid in her official wedding ceremony in April

467
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:55,000
Speaker 2: of twenty twenty six. She was very matter of fact,

468
00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:57,760
Speaker 2: explaining that she had chosen her cousin Mila as the

469
00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:00,200
Speaker 2: maid of honor and because of her experience and event planning,

470
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:06,440
Speaker 2: which is also the field I work. It Ah, liar, liar.

471
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:07,920
Speaker 1: Tell me why, Just tell me why.

472
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:09,640
Speaker 2: You don't go straight up to be honest.

473
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:13,480
Speaker 3: Stop m lying yeah, if you don't, If you just don't,

474
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,399
Speaker 3: wom me there, just say it, say it.

475
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:19,560
Speaker 2: Dragging me along. Even though Bailey had selected an official

476
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:21,919
Speaker 2: date at the end of April for the wedding, she

477
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:24,720
Speaker 2: was still choosing between a number of dates between March

478
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:28,240
Speaker 2: and April for her bridal shower and bachelorette. One day,

479
00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:31,520
Speaker 2: she was considering a music festival, the next a winery.

480
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:34,280
Speaker 2: When I was asked to be in a family member's

481
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 2: wedding in early April, I checked in with Bailey so

482
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:40,520
Speaker 2: that I could prioritize her bachelorette and bridal shower before

483
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:44,199
Speaker 2: answering my family member. Bailey responded that she didn't expect

484
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:47,720
Speaker 2: me to attend the bachelorette and bridal shower. This was

485
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,360
Speaker 2: also in a matter of fact, oh no worries kind

486
00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:53,920
Speaker 2: of tone, not like a vindictive Well if your relative matters, Marty,

487
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,200
Speaker 2: you then just at me. I guess I was taken

488
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,680
Speaker 2: aback and expressed to Bailey that I wanted to attend

489
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:01,879
Speaker 2: her bachelorette and bride shower and would do whatever it

490
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:03,800
Speaker 2: takes to be there. She said she would get back

491
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:09,800
Speaker 2: to me. In February twenty twenty five, Bailey sent invitations

492
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:12,960
Speaker 2: via group text to her dress fitting, which is taking

493
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:16,720
Speaker 2: place this upcoming weekend in July. I immediately bought my

494
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:19,600
Speaker 2: plane ticket. A month or two later, Bailey called me

495
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,080
Speaker 2: and said that she was canceling her wedding and instead

496
00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:23,240
Speaker 2: planned to Elope.

497
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:28,320
Speaker 4: What, You're already married, you already Elope, You already eloped that,

498
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:29,280
Speaker 4: you already did it.

499
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,679
Speaker 2: You're not planning to a lope. You did that, You

500
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:34,560
Speaker 2: did that part. Good thing I hadn't bought my dress,

501
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:37,159
Speaker 2: which Bailey had already picked for me, or plane ticket

502
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:39,920
Speaker 2: for April gosh. The good news was that the dress

503
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:43,080
Speaker 2: fitting weekend was still on, with Bailey ordering four dresses.

504
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:48,000
Speaker 2: From a website think Amazon or Sheen nikes yiked to

505
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,680
Speaker 2: try at her house before we got petticures as a group.

506
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:53,879
Speaker 2: Earlier this month, July twenty twenty five, I got a

507
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,440
Speaker 2: random text from Bailey in the middle of the day

508
00:22:56,560 --> 00:23:01,959
Speaker 2: that said elopement in the Pacific Northwest twenty six No

509
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:06,119
Speaker 2: specific date, location, or plan for how the bridesmaid's factor in,

510
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,280
Speaker 2: if at all. The next day, on the phone, Bailey

511
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:11,480
Speaker 2: explained that her new plan was to drive to and

512
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:14,080
Speaker 2: from a national park in the Pacific Northwest from the

513
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:17,120
Speaker 2: East Coast, camping in the trunk of her car with Nathan.

514
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,760
Speaker 2: Bridesmaids will stay in a cabin. She hasn't looked at

515
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,800
Speaker 2: cabins yet but is certain they'll have bunk beds. Then

516
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 2: drive into the national park to watch Bailey and Nathan

517
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:29,160
Speaker 2: exchange vows and take photos. Bailey explained her hesitation about

518
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:32,400
Speaker 2: telling the other bridesmaids about the change and plans, as

519
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 2: the new date excludes at least two would be bridesmaids.

520
00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:38,240
Speaker 2: She then told me that I'll be expected to rent

521
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:42,520
Speaker 2: an suv to drive myself and others into the National Park.

522
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,600
Speaker 2: I own an suv, but don't live in driving distance

523
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:49,119
Speaker 2: from the Pacific Northwest and would need to fly. I

524
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:52,400
Speaker 2: honestly didn't say anything because at this point I'm not

525
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:55,600
Speaker 2: convinced her plans won't change several more times in the

526
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:57,760
Speaker 2: next year. I honestly would be like, sorry, I can't

527
00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 2: make it, and she's like, I haven't told you yet.

528
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,560
Speaker 2: I wouldn't want to. This is too much.

529
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, and deciding for you that you're gonna be a

530
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:09,280
Speaker 4: chauffeur for everyone else, Like that's not how it works.

531
00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:11,680
Speaker 4: You talk to them and ask like, hey, like maybe

532
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:12,480
Speaker 4: we can figure this out.

533
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,680
Speaker 2: Would you be able to do this? You know, like, okay,

534
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:15,840
Speaker 2: so you're gonna drive these people.

535
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 4: You're gonna rent out a SVUV even though you have one,

536
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 4: and then you're gonna drive everyone up there.

537
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:22,480
Speaker 2: Okay, thanks you. I honestly think you just have to

538
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:24,760
Speaker 2: sit her down and be like, hey, it feels like

539
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,920
Speaker 2: you don't you know, you don't have the plans really

540
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:30,640
Speaker 2: setting stone. Yeah, I need a little bit more time,

541
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:33,119
Speaker 2: a little bit more heads up, right, Like I can't

542
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:35,359
Speaker 2: can't be switching it up like you can. Yeah.

543
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:35,760
Speaker 1: Sorry.

544
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:39,080
Speaker 2: Yeah. Fast forward to today one week, Shy I have

545
00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:41,320
Speaker 2: the first get together of all the bridees baids. I

546
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 2: know that Bailey is already legally married and no longer

547
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:46,880
Speaker 2: planning the April twenty twenty six wedding we were originally

548
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:49,680
Speaker 2: invited to. Some of the other girls know of only

549
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:53,280
Speaker 2: one or neither of these developments. Bailey says she plans

550
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:56,679
Speaker 2: to update everyone when we are together next weekend. She

551
00:24:56,800 --> 00:25:00,280
Speaker 2: texts the group chat to confirm plans. Suddenly, seve real

552
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:03,479
Speaker 2: people can't get off work, including the maid of honor

553
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,919
Speaker 2: twenty two year old cousin. Others are asking what the

554
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 2: plans are besides looking at dress options. Are we going

555
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:12,480
Speaker 2: out to eat, going to the lake? Should I ask

556
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:15,000
Speaker 2: off work for Sunday or just Saturday? Should I make

557
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:19,240
Speaker 2: brunch plans or hold off? Bailey calls me frustrated. First

558
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:21,919
Speaker 2: of all, her maid of honor is flaking. Secondly, she

559
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 2: hasn't yet ordered her dresses online and now it's too late,

560
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,160
Speaker 2: so I'll have to FaceTime us at a later date

561
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:30,800
Speaker 2: when they arrive. And finally, she doesn't want to make

562
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,240
Speaker 2: plans for most of the weekend as it's too much

563
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 2: overhead as an event planner. Lol. I point out that

564
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 2: a lot of friends are taking time off work and

565
00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:42,840
Speaker 2: or are driving into town. I'm the only one flying

566
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:45,360
Speaker 2: in and they want to celebrate her. They may benefit

567
00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:48,159
Speaker 2: from some structure to help them plan. I remind her

568
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,760
Speaker 2: that she mentioned going to the lake on Sunday. She

569
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:52,920
Speaker 2: says she does want to take her friend's boat out

570
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:55,399
Speaker 2: on the lake. Friend is not invited to the wedding

571
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:58,159
Speaker 2: or elopement, or maybe go to her other friend's pool.

572
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:00,720
Speaker 2: That friend is also not in the wedding or lopeman party,

573
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 2: but she doesn't care who comes, so she'll just figure

574
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:06,439
Speaker 2: out where she's going and then tell everyone they can

575
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:09,439
Speaker 2: tag along if they want. These are people who flew

576
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 2: and drove in to see her. I tell her that

577
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 2: it's really important to me to plan my weekend around

578
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,480
Speaker 2: her events, since I'm coming into town for her special

579
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:20,280
Speaker 2: bridal dress weekend. She says she doesn't care if I

580
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:23,439
Speaker 2: come to the pool, lake, or wherever she's going, and

581
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:25,400
Speaker 2: not to plan my trip around it because it might

582
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,640
Speaker 2: be too inconvenient for me to find a ride there.

583
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:31,159
Speaker 2: Both are right by her house, where I was supposed

584
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 2: to be staying until she told me that I can

585
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,240
Speaker 2: no longer sleep at her house because I might be

586
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:39,840
Speaker 2: allergic to her cat I have a cat, and also

587
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:41,880
Speaker 2: because she promised her other friend that she can stay

588
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,840
Speaker 2: there and is now overbooked. Eventually, I tell her I

589
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:47,159
Speaker 2: can only speak for myself, but I find it a

590
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:52,280
Speaker 2: bit of a morale un alive to be constantly told, oh,

591
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 2: I don't care if you come or not, or you

592
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:56,040
Speaker 2: don't need to be there, and I'm guessing her other

593
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:59,760
Speaker 2: bridesmaids might feel the same. Bailey gets defensive, saying she's

594
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:01,879
Speaker 2: a being a people pleaser and simply doesn't want a

595
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 2: burden her friends. I tried to appeal to that experience,

596
00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:08,679
Speaker 2: which I share, but things just aren't adding up. Bailey

597
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:11,680
Speaker 2: and I have been friends for nine years. Between us,

598
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:16,360
Speaker 2: that's eighteen birthdays. Every year I invite her to celebrate

599
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:19,240
Speaker 2: my birthday. Sometimes I do a dinner with friends. Sometimes

600
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 2: it's a trip with a smaller group. After celebrating my

601
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,840
Speaker 2: birthday in the first year of our friendship my twenty first,

602
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:28,000
Speaker 2: which was a bark roll, she never celebrated with me

603
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:31,400
Speaker 2: ever again. Every year I asked her what she's doing

604
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:34,160
Speaker 2: for a birthday, asked to come along on her birthday trip,

605
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:37,000
Speaker 2: or offer to fly to her for a birthday, but

606
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:39,960
Speaker 2: she always says no. This included last year when she

607
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:43,160
Speaker 2: used benefits I shared with her to book a hotel

608
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:46,000
Speaker 2: with my company. I ended up being invited at the

609
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 2: last minute when her other friends canceled, likely because I

610
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:53,200
Speaker 2: get free hotels days from my company. We had fun together, though,

611
00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:55,520
Speaker 2: so afterward I asked if I could come with her

612
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:58,080
Speaker 2: group to a concert she was flying to, which is

613
00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:01,879
Speaker 2: in driving distance of me. She said no. Instead, she

614
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:05,239
Speaker 2: promised to drive to my location after the concerts and

615
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:09,480
Speaker 2: spend a week together, but she canceled. I have visited

616
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:12,200
Speaker 2: her around ten times since moving away, but she has

617
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 2: never visited me, though I usually see other friends and

618
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:18,920
Speaker 2: family in my hometown when I visit. At different points

619
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:21,159
Speaker 2: in life, one or the other of us might have

620
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:24,879
Speaker 2: been better off financially at this point. Bailey is definitely

621
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:28,719
Speaker 2: more financially stable than I am, and regularly takes trips

622
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:31,720
Speaker 2: with other friends, such as k When I invite her

623
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 2: to free or discount a trips sponsored by my company,

624
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:37,720
Speaker 2: she has never gone, though sometimes she will tell me

625
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 2: she'll go, then cancel last minute. This is just a

626
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 2: theme for Bailey.

627
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 3: I just hope in reading or writing this out, you

628
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,600
Speaker 3: see how one side of this relationship is yeah.

629
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:52,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, big time. Bailey keeps bailing bailing the plans, so Drew,

630
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:57,320
Speaker 2: I'll be here a week. Every year, I make a

631
00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:00,200
Speaker 2: birthday post for her on Instagram. She makes posts for

632
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:03,240
Speaker 2: all our other friends, including girls I've never even heard of.

633
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:05,280
Speaker 2: I've met all of her friends, and she tells me

634
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 2: about a lot of people. She has also never posted

635
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,800
Speaker 2: a picture with me, but calls me her best friend.

636
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:13,160
Speaker 2: I feel like she doesn't actually have any real friends,

637
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 2: and so she expects you to be that even though

638
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:19,920
Speaker 2: she's not actually putting any effort. Go ahead, call me

639
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:21,280
Speaker 2: an idiot and a doormat.

640
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:21,960
Speaker 1: I was.

641
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:25,200
Speaker 2: That's the old me, and this friendship is a relic

642
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 2: of my old life. I've recently gone through a lot

643
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:31,480
Speaker 2: of changes. I just finished my Saturn return ha ha,

644
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:36,040
Speaker 2: and left my former career in addition to several toxic relationships.

645
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:38,840
Speaker 2: This is the kind of relationship that seemed normal to

646
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 2: me in my early years. I went to a lot

647
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:44,520
Speaker 2: of therapy, and it feels like finally getting prescription eyeglasses

648
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:47,720
Speaker 2: and putting them on after needing them for my whole life.

649
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:50,800
Speaker 2: I care about Bailey, but if I met her today,

650
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 2: I don't think we'd be friends. Probably not in hindsight,

651
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:57,320
Speaker 2: I don't know if we ever were. Bailey and Nathan

652
00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,480
Speaker 2: have used me as a witness in Nathan's case for

653
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:03,080
Speaker 2: permanent residency. Yep, and I recently had to write and

654
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:06,040
Speaker 2: swear a AFFI David, attesting to my friendship with Bailey

655
00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 2: and her relationship with Nathan. I wrote this beautiful story

656
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:11,160
Speaker 2: of our friendship and how it made me a better person.

657
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 2: I made myself cry writing it. Bailey read it and

658
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:17,800
Speaker 2: had basically no reaction. I realized that my version of

659
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:22,120
Speaker 2: the friendship wasn't both of our reality. Unsurprisingly, today's phone

660
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 2: call spiraled into an hour long argument, where alternative histories

661
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 2: emerged that she didn't know she was being proposed to,

662
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:31,680
Speaker 2: or that Nathan had a ring. She planned it, though,

663
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 2: go that I never invited her to plans. I remembered

664
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:39,720
Speaker 2: her canceling that she suddenly forgets every conversation we've ever had,

665
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,960
Speaker 2: including very recent ones with text receipts. She told me

666
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 2: that for our whole friendship, she assumed I didn't like trips.

667
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:48,920
Speaker 2: I work for a travel company, have a travel themed Instagram,

668
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:54,040
Speaker 2: constantly travel and invite her on trips. But okay, when

669
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 2: corrected she said she just didn't want to inconvenience me.

670
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:01,000
Speaker 2: For example, she told me she I'd be too tired

671
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:03,680
Speaker 2: for a trip to Europe, though she has taken multiple

672
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:06,480
Speaker 2: trips to Europe with Kay and other friends. She even

673
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:09,080
Speaker 2: started to blame Nathan for her poor treatment of me,

674
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:11,719
Speaker 2: insisting that she was doing me a favor by not

675
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:15,240
Speaker 2: inviting me to her engagement because he would have stressed

676
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:18,240
Speaker 2: me out. I've traveled well with Nathan before, and he's

677
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 2: extremely calm and go with a float. She's such a liar. Yeah,

678
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 2: she's just making stuff up. She was grasping at straws

679
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:29,360
Speaker 2: anything to avoid apologizing or at least admitting she saw

680
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:31,959
Speaker 2: my perspective. I told her it's fine with me if

681
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,240
Speaker 2: she doesn't have fun traveling with me, but I'm asking

682
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 2: her to be honest with me instead of beating around

683
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 2: the bush. She insisted she's just been trying to watch

684
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:41,720
Speaker 2: out for me and do me a favor by leaving

685
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 2: me out a plan she thought I wouldn't like. I

686
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:46,480
Speaker 2: eventually gave up and told her I'm really happy for

687
00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:49,320
Speaker 2: her and Nathan and just wanted to say my piece

688
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 2: so it didn't affect the wedding. Then hung up because

689
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:55,240
Speaker 2: I had to go to work times own difference. While

690
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:57,320
Speaker 2: I was at work, she texted me links to random

691
00:31:57,320 --> 00:32:01,640
Speaker 2: tiktoks like nothing had happened, realizing that it may be

692
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 2: best for me to withdraw from Bailey's wedding. If there

693
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 2: even is a wedding and all associated festivities, would I

694
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 2: be the a hole? Do you have any final thoughts

695
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:13,400
Speaker 2: for a Pierre? You would definitely not be the a hole?

696
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 4: No, No, I mean if she you have noticed with

697
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 4: so many examples of how she just doesn't care about you,

698
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:25,560
Speaker 4: she just wants you to be there for her, and

699
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:28,920
Speaker 4: like she yeah, she's just not a good friend, even

700
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:31,560
Speaker 4: with her not planning things and just expecting everyone to

701
00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:33,480
Speaker 4: just change her plans all the time because she does

702
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 4: that all the time, Like.

703
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:38,360
Speaker 2: That's still rude to do to your friend.

704
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:42,080
Speaker 4: And then she's yeah, she doesn't seem like she cares

705
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 4: at all about your friendship or about your feelings like.

706
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:48,040
Speaker 2: Some other context. Bailey has more friends than me, and

707
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:49,920
Speaker 2: though I do have a few close friends in addition

708
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 2: to Bailey, and is more extroverted but has more social problems.

709
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:56,560
Speaker 2: She's been fired from multiple jobs and was punted out

710
00:32:56,560 --> 00:33:00,200
Speaker 2: of her sorority, but will never explain and genuinely doesn't

711
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:04,000
Speaker 2: seem to understand why we met at twenty in or

712
00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:06,640
Speaker 2: out twenty nine. I hoped we would see eye to

713
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:08,840
Speaker 2: eye as we got older, but in many ways her

714
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:12,040
Speaker 2: understanding of the world seems to have changed very little

715
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:14,880
Speaker 2: since age twenty. Bailey used to come to me for

716
00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 2: advice like I was a big sister, but over the

717
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:21,520
Speaker 2: past year has started to correct everything I do. The example,

718
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:23,520
Speaker 2: I got Invisilne and she told me I was wearing

719
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 2: the wrong rubber bands because they're not the kind her

720
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:29,520
Speaker 2: orthodontis gave her in seventh grade. Bailey calls me multiple

721
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:33,600
Speaker 2: times per week. She usually initiates our contact, sometimes every day.

722
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 2: We talked for hours, and the conversation is usually more

723
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:40,080
Speaker 2: focused around her life. I recently lost fifty pounds and

724
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:42,680
Speaker 2: gained a lot of confidence through therapy in addition to

725
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:45,400
Speaker 2: the esthetic changes from weight loss and in Divisiligne. She

726
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 2: mentioned wanting to get in Visilne and lose weight as well,

727
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:51,640
Speaker 2: but hasn't yet. She also explicitly told me that the

728
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 2: bride's may dress she chose for me was selected so

729
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:57,640
Speaker 2: that I wouldn't outshine her. I'm not known to dress flashy.

730
00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:01,400
Speaker 2: I'm not sure if we're wearing bridesmaydresses anymore. Hey, it's Sam.

731
00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 2: We'll get back to the stories. But here's three minutes

732
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:04,560
Speaker 2: of ads from our sponsors.

733
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:08,839
Speaker 4: My wife betrayed me with my stepfather. I want to

734
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:09,840
Speaker 4: tell my mother.

735
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 2: Tell her. I'm telling my mommy on you.

736
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,400
Speaker 4: I'm sorry if this is a little much, I've been

737
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 4: sitting in my car for a few hours.

738
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:18,919
Speaker 2: Sorry for errors. I'm on mobile. OK. I will never

739
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 2: forgive you for any of it. Get out.

740
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:24,800
Speaker 4: My wife and I have been married for four years.

741
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:27,080
Speaker 4: We argue sometimes over little things, but I love her

742
00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:27,879
Speaker 4: with all my heart.

743
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:31,000
Speaker 2: There's never been anything wrong. Until now, I thought we

744
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:31,520
Speaker 2: were happy.

745
00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:34,200
Speaker 4: I always treated her right and listened to her. I

746
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,520
Speaker 4: took her out whenever she wanted, and studied with her.

747
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:40,319
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from at times, Hugh streets

748
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:42,080
Speaker 4: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

749
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:45,000
Speaker 4: to be ours slash. Okay, storytime separated it. So she

750
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:47,360
Speaker 4: doesn't work because she's getting her degree right now. So

751
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:50,680
Speaker 4: I gladly pay for everything and work overtime constantly because

752
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:52,080
Speaker 4: I wanted her to be great.

753
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:54,120
Speaker 2: She goes to classes nearly full.

754
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 4: Time and spends the rest of her time home or

755
00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:57,440
Speaker 4: at her school library.

756
00:34:57,760 --> 00:34:59,480
Speaker 2: I'm not close to my mother at all, but I

757
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:00,800
Speaker 2: see her from time to time.

758
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 4: Recently we've been trying to reconnect, but she's just really

759
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:07,239
Speaker 4: not a good person. She was horrible to me growing up,

760
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:09,960
Speaker 4: but I tried to forgive her for her personality and actions.

761
00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 4: She has a lot of bad habits and had two

762
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:16,759
Speaker 4: failed marriages with really crappy dudes. She recently got remarried

763
00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:19,440
Speaker 4: to another man two years ago, let's call him X.

764
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:21,759
Speaker 4: My mother invites me and my wife and it's the

765
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:24,920
Speaker 4: first time they all meet, probably fourth time I've met

766
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:28,920
Speaker 4: him since they married fairly quickly. He seemed okay, just

767
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:31,719
Speaker 4: really didn't like his vime too much, but I gave

768
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:33,560
Speaker 4: him the benefit of the doubt because at the end

769
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:34,440
Speaker 4: of the day, it's.

770
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 2: Her life, not mine, and we aren't even closed. Uh.

771
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:41,359
Speaker 4: Last year, X asks for help remodeling my mother's house

772
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:43,759
Speaker 4: for the day. My wife suggests that we stay for

773
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,600
Speaker 4: the week and make it a bonding thing.

774
00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 2: I agreed.

775
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 4: I thought we could all do things together, but we

776
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:52,040
Speaker 4: ended up breaking into little teams. X and my wife

777
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:53,840
Speaker 4: really hit it off, and I'm not very good with

778
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:57,520
Speaker 4: construction and renovation related things. I ended up going out

779
00:35:57,520 --> 00:35:59,480
Speaker 4: with my mother a few times to eat in an

780
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:02,600
Speaker 4: attempt bond with her. It was weird, but we tried.

781
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 4: My wife stayed behind and I helped X remodel. Her

782
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 4: family is really involved in the construction and engineering world,

783
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:10,960
Speaker 4: so she knew much more than I did about how

784
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:11,440
Speaker 4: to help.

785
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:12,080
Speaker 2: Fix the house up.

786
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:15,800
Speaker 4: They seemed to be really close that week, aka sharing

787
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:18,239
Speaker 4: jokes and laughing a lot when I wasn't around, and

788
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 4: super animated conversations, but I didn't think much of it

789
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:22,200
Speaker 4: because I.

790
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:30,000
Speaker 2: Assumed she was just being nice to my new stepfather. You, oh,

791
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:36,440
Speaker 2: mister X, mister city. Why was too big? You know,

792
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:41,360
Speaker 2: like in spicy in the city. Oh yeah, big, yep.

793
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:48,839
Speaker 4: Anyway, I trusted my wife. She started going back over

794
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:51,680
Speaker 4: to my mother's house to help X out afterwards. They

795
00:36:51,719 --> 00:36:54,560
Speaker 4: live almost an hour away, so it's out of the way.

796
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 4: I noticed when she'd be coming home way later than

797
00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:00,320
Speaker 4: normal and decided to take the train instead of.

798
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:02,120
Speaker 2: Me picking her up. Uh.

799
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:04,880
Speaker 4: She kept saying a library at first, before she admitted

800
00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:07,399
Speaker 4: to going there to help renovate. Since I wasn't much

801
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:09,840
Speaker 4: help in terms of helping my mom fix up the place.

802
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:13,120
Speaker 4: It was like once or twice a week. This started

803
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:16,240
Speaker 4: happening early this year when the house was finished late spring.

804
00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:18,800
Speaker 4: They kept hanging out, which I didn't mind. I guess

805
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:21,840
Speaker 4: that makes me stupid. When her classes ended in summer,

806
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:24,520
Speaker 4: we stopped spending as much time together, but she made

807
00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:28,440
Speaker 4: nothing seem wrong. She seemed happy. Our spicy sleep life

808
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:31,240
Speaker 4: was the same. We were trying for a baby. Everything

809
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:32,839
Speaker 4: was good, even communication.

810
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:36,400
Speaker 2: Are you sure, buddy, Are you sure?

811
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,520
Speaker 4: I tried to go with her to my mom's place,

812
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:43,880
Speaker 4: but she was usually with her friends when she wasn't home,

813
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:46,880
Speaker 4: and I didn't really like excess humor and mannerisms. I

814
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 4: didn't mind. I worked a lot and liked to be alonesometimes.

815
00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:51,960
Speaker 4: A few weeks ago, she got home late again and

816
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,319
Speaker 4: went to shower. Always joked that she'd use up all

817
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 4: the city's water with how long she showered. She was

818
00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:59,720
Speaker 4: in there bits, probably when I am when her phone

819
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:01,839
Speaker 4: and vibrated row.

820
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:04,520
Speaker 2: It does this like four to five times in a

821
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:05,160
Speaker 2: few minutes.

822
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:08,200
Speaker 4: Anyway, I didn't want to invade her privacy, but that's

823
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:11,239
Speaker 4: very abnormal. A chapter screen to see what it was,

824
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:15,720
Speaker 4: and I recognized the number it was X's and a reminder.

825
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:18,080
Speaker 2: This is around one am.

826
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:23,480
Speaker 4: He sent multiple MMS messages with his face and nude pets.

827
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:35,560
Speaker 2: You Peepe's out out. This is disgusting. Oh my gosh,

828
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:41,440
Speaker 2: you sicken me away the very weplies ew.

829
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:44,880
Speaker 4: There were replies from her with nude photos that were recent.

830
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:50,200
Speaker 2: Oh lord, what would you call that? Pepe's TT's out,

831
00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:55,719
Speaker 2: She's out away. No one wants to see your TETs.

832
00:38:56,920 --> 00:39:00,520
Speaker 4: Just a lot of words I haven't processed yet. I

833
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 4: took an extended screenshot of it. It took a few

834
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:05,800
Speaker 4: minutes and mailed it to myself and put the message

835
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,319
Speaker 4: on on read so she wouldn't know I saw.

836
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 2: I really wish I didn't. I really would have honestly.

837
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:15,960
Speaker 4: Just not have known and kept everything perfect. There are

838
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:20,279
Speaker 4: months of texts, blocks of texts and photos and heart emojis.

839
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:23,719
Speaker 4: What how long have we been knowing about this X guy?

840
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:26,160
Speaker 4: Though I thought the mom will only recently.

841
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:27,680
Speaker 2: Started dating him. That's wild.

842
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:31,320
Speaker 4: It took a few days off work the following morning

843
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:33,439
Speaker 4: and flew down to see an old friend who lives

844
00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:34,080
Speaker 4: in the Midwest.

845
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:36,080
Speaker 2: He's hooking me up with a month to month studio.

846
00:39:36,239 --> 00:39:39,200
Speaker 2: No questions asked. Since we don't talk much anymore, she

847
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,960
Speaker 2: doesn't know I'm leaving in January, which is when our

848
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:42,600
Speaker 2: lease is up.

849
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:42,879
Speaker 1: WHOA.

850
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:45,200
Speaker 2: I told her it was a trip for work, and

851
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:47,000
Speaker 2: she just smiled and told me to have fun and

852
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:48,880
Speaker 2: that she'd miss me. Yeah, you get to miss me.

853
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:50,880
Speaker 2: You missed me a whole lot because I ain't never

854
00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:53,480
Speaker 2: coming back. Yeah, She's probably like, oh my gosh, like,

855
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:54,839
Speaker 2: oh miss you so much.

856
00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:58,200
Speaker 4: And then she's like, Tommy, I'm gonna had the house

857
00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:00,799
Speaker 4: alone and I could have peeps all the.

858
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,200
Speaker 2: Time, call me the owner and call me the owner

859
00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:05,160
Speaker 2: and hatchie because I ain't never coming back.

860
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:08,239
Speaker 4: I came back and she didn't seem any different. Our

861
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:11,359
Speaker 4: anniversary is the day before Christmas Eve. I haven't told

862
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:13,920
Speaker 4: my mother, not sure how or if I want to.

863
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:16,759
Speaker 4: I haven't told anyone except you read it. I want

864
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:18,400
Speaker 4: to get out of here and I want to be

865
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:21,480
Speaker 4: alone and think it's been a while, but.

866
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:27,280
Speaker 2: I know, you see you're gonna leave, and Genie, maybe

867
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:28,760
Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell everyone.

868
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:31,200
Speaker 4: I know it's been a while, but I still haven't

869
00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:32,920
Speaker 4: had the heart to go through all of the texts

870
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:34,799
Speaker 4: and photos. I feel like reading it all would make

871
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:37,840
Speaker 4: it all worse for me. I already feel broken and empty.

872
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:40,640
Speaker 4: I left my friends behind for her and started a

873
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:43,160
Speaker 4: life with her. I thought she was happy.

874
00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:45,640
Speaker 2: We have been trying to get pregnant slightly before and

875
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:48,080
Speaker 2: around the time that I found out, and we're supposed

876
00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:51,760
Speaker 2: to go to check in with the docs after the holidays.

877
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:54,880
Speaker 4: Well, thank goodness she didn't get pregnant. I need some

878
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:56,960
Speaker 4: time to think, and I need to know how to

879
00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:59,759
Speaker 4: fix this with my wife. How do I tell my mother?

880
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:01,920
Speaker 4: I love my wife with everything.

881
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:05,839
Speaker 2: She's all I have. I gave her everything these last

882
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 2: four plus years. I can't just divorce, and she gave

883
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:13,120
Speaker 2: everything to everyone. Yeah, he shir did. She's a kind

884
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 2: and giving person.

885
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:18,400
Speaker 4: Alright, all right, I'm not going to follow in my

886
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:21,640
Speaker 4: mother's footsteps. I know it all seems outrageous given that

887
00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:24,480
Speaker 4: he's married to my mother, but I don't have anyone

888
00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:25,239
Speaker 4: else to talk to.

889
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:28,360
Speaker 2: I was supposed to be home. So this isn't a boyfriend,

890
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:29,160
Speaker 2: this is they're married?

891
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:29,879
Speaker 1: Than well?

892
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 2: Noh oh pie, Yeah, everyone's married in this story.

893
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:36,759
Speaker 4: I know it all seems outrageous, given he's married to

894
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:39,040
Speaker 4: my mother, but I don't have anyone else to talk to.

895
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:41,480
Speaker 4: I was supposed to be home five hours ago, but

896
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:43,600
Speaker 4: I don't think I can lay next to her anymore.

897
00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:46,040
Speaker 4: I've been forcing myself to try and get over it

898
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:48,040
Speaker 4: and hope it just goes away, and it makes me

899
00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:51,479
Speaker 4: feel more and more disgusted with myself. I'm probably gonna

900
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:53,520
Speaker 4: sleep in my car tonight. She's already called me three

901
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:57,480
Speaker 4: times and I'm just exhausted emotionally. It hurts ignoring her calls.

902
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,320
Speaker 4: I'll try to check back for any answers later tomorrow

903
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 4: if I have the time. I'm sorry if this post

904
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:03,600
Speaker 4: is a waste of your time, but I hope you

905
00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:08,280
Speaker 4: have advice and there is an update. What's their advice

906
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:09,680
Speaker 4: to op in this situation?

907
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:14,719
Speaker 2: Leaves your life? She sucked. Yeah, find new teats, get

908
00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:15,360
Speaker 2: a hotel.

909
00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:22,720
Speaker 3: Don't let your wife's teats stop you from finding other TETs.

910
00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:26,120
Speaker 2: She's already found other peeps. Yeah, exactly. All of these

911
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,840
Speaker 2: peeps are out and it's not yours. You gotta go

912
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:31,520
Speaker 2: find a place where's safe to have your peeps at man.

913
00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:34,480
Speaker 2: But then we got an update.

914
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:37,080
Speaker 4: We do have an update, though I wasn't going to

915
00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:39,759
Speaker 4: update as I'm not on here often and after going

916
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:40,800
Speaker 4: through some of my comments.

917
00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:43,240
Speaker 2: I didn't know what to say, but things have changed

918
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:45,560
Speaker 2: since my first post. After my post, I slept in

919
00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:47,160
Speaker 2: my car for a few hours and tried to go

920
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:50,720
Speaker 2: back to work. I spent the entire day overthinking and crying.

921
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:53,520
Speaker 4: Honestly, my boss suggested that I take some extra time off,

922
00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:56,800
Speaker 4: and I agreed. I've built up a very substantial amount

923
00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:58,919
Speaker 4: in savings that can cover us for a few years,

924
00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:01,000
Speaker 4: so I'm not worried about my My wife called and

925
00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:03,560
Speaker 4: texted me at twenty plus times, and I didn't answer

926
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:05,560
Speaker 4: the comments I got telling me my wife was some

927
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:07,520
Speaker 4: horrible person and that I should leave her.

928
00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:10,239
Speaker 2: It didn't help. I appreciate so many people offering what

929
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:12,239
Speaker 2: they think was the right move, but they don't know

930
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:12,920
Speaker 2: my wife.

931
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:14,960
Speaker 4: She's the best thing that has ever happened to me,

932
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:17,080
Speaker 4: and before her, my life just felt like I was

933
00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:18,000
Speaker 4: on autopilot.

934
00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:19,880
Speaker 2: I decided after I left work that.

935
00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:22,000
Speaker 4: I couldn't go home because I didn't want to break

936
00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:24,440
Speaker 4: it down in front of her. But I also couldn't

937
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:27,200
Speaker 4: just keep ignoring her, so I texted her, letting her

938
00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:29,919
Speaker 4: know that I know what she did, and I wasn't

939
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:32,719
Speaker 4: ready to talk yet, but I'll be willing to talk.

940
00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:35,480
Speaker 4: At the end of the week, HI got an airbnb

941
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:37,719
Speaker 4: for a few days and finally agreed to go home

942
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:40,000
Speaker 4: and talk to her. It was the hardest talk I've

943
00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:43,120
Speaker 4: ever had with someone. The problem was I wasn't really around,

944
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:45,839
Speaker 4: and I was always working over time, and he made

945
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 4: her feel wanted and I see now that I should

946
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,560
Speaker 4: have tried harder to be there for her. I told

947
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:53,680
Speaker 4: her that it really hurt me finding out, though I

948
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:56,799
Speaker 4: haven't yet told her how I know, especially considering he's

949
00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:59,239
Speaker 4: literally married to my mother and all the times I've

950
00:43:59,239 --> 00:44:01,960
Speaker 4: picked her up or her off from spending time with him.

951
00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:06,160
Speaker 2: She apologized profusely. She told me it only happened once,

952
00:44:06,239 --> 00:44:09,360
Speaker 2: and then she admitted to texting him. Oh wait what so?

953
00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:14,200
Speaker 4: Oh I mean I guess we could figure We figured, Yeah,

954
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:15,879
Speaker 4: we at the same time.

955
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:17,800
Speaker 2: I know, I've picked you up pretty late from his

956
00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:20,200
Speaker 2: house all those times. How can it only happen once? Well,

957
00:44:20,239 --> 00:44:23,480
Speaker 2: it definitely doesn't, because you guys were chit chatting for months.

958
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:29,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, for months, dude, that's my mom's honey pictures.

959
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 2: You're gonna have. You're gonna cheat on me, mom, bubbies,

960
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:36,120
Speaker 2: that's crazy talk.

961
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:41,319
Speaker 4: Dude, that's like crazy, messed up. She promised to never

962
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:42,480
Speaker 4: speak to him again.

963
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:44,479
Speaker 2: She was a mess. I was a mess.

964
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:46,560
Speaker 4: I told her that I was considering spending some time

965
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:49,200
Speaker 4: in Iowa at an old friend's place after our lease ended.

966
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:53,400
Speaker 2: But then she broke the best possible news, best bregger.

967
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:58,839
Speaker 2: I don't believe her. Well, you guys were trying who

968
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:00,719
Speaker 2: so what you want who with?

969
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:04,640
Speaker 4: I was apprehensive at first, but she promised me that

970
00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:07,239
Speaker 4: they had only ever been physical once and that was

971
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:09,719
Speaker 4: the beginning of the year, which wouldn't add up to

972
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:10,759
Speaker 4: her being pregnant now.

973
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:12,360
Speaker 2: And she's never lied before.

974
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:15,800
Speaker 4: We were intimate a few weeks prior to this post,

975
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:17,480
Speaker 4: so I'm sure it's fine.

976
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:18,200
Speaker 1: I'm not.

977
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:21,279
Speaker 2: She convinced me to stay, and I promised her we

978
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:22,400
Speaker 2: would fix this together.

979
00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:22,839
Speaker 1: Boo.

980
00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:25,919
Speaker 4: My father ditched me at a young age and left

981
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,160
Speaker 4: me with my mother. I'm not going to abandon my

982
00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 4: wife and my child over one mistake. I'm not like

983
00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:34,360
Speaker 4: my father or my mother. I'm going no contact with

984
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:37,040
Speaker 4: both X and my mother. My wife suggested a clean

985
00:45:37,080 --> 00:45:38,840
Speaker 4: break from them would be the best move for our

986
00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:39,400
Speaker 4: new family.

987
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:47,040
Speaker 2: Uh no, no, that's a bad step. The great guy

988
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:48,080
Speaker 2: with your wife.

989
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:52,359
Speaker 4: I could understand not going contact with X, but she's

990
00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:56,160
Speaker 4: literally like, oh, yeah, the best way of our family

991
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:59,120
Speaker 4: is to like, is to cut off, cut off your

992
00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:01,320
Speaker 4: affair and your mom.

993
00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:05,440
Speaker 2: And also I'm not gonna cut off my burner though.

994
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:09,040
Speaker 2: Uh oh, I can't talk to your mom because then

995
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:10,759
Speaker 2: if you guys talk, then you'll know that I haven't

996
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:11,160
Speaker 2: cut off.

997
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:14,839
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly exactly. She's like, you gotta cut them off

998
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:16,160
Speaker 4: so we can hide our secrets.

999
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:17,960
Speaker 2: Yes, we gotta keep it.

1000
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:23,239
Speaker 4: So I guess that means I will not be telling

1001
00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:25,640
Speaker 4: my mother about what happened, nor will I confront X

1002
00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:28,719
Speaker 4: about this. We're also considering whether we should move out

1003
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:30,759
Speaker 4: of the state or renew our lease. Since this is

1004
00:46:30,840 --> 00:46:33,560
Speaker 4: all last minute. He wants to finish getting her degree

1005
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:36,560
Speaker 4: before we make any rash decisions, which makes sense, but

1006
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:39,480
Speaker 4: being so close to my mother an ex doesn't help.

1007
00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:41,600
Speaker 2: Thank you all for your time and understanding.

1008
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:43,320
Speaker 4: I'm sorry if this wasn't the kind of update you

1009
00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:45,720
Speaker 4: were looking for, but you have to put your feelings

1010
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:48,520
Speaker 4: aside for the good of your family. My trust can

1011
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:50,920
Speaker 4: be rebuilt. I know I will never find another person

1012
00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:52,960
Speaker 4: who loves me the way she does. And when you

1013
00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:54,840
Speaker 4: find that. I feel like you should hold on to that.

1014
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:57,600
Speaker 4: I don't have anyone else here, and I don't think

1015
00:46:57,600 --> 00:46:59,880
Speaker 4: i'd be able to live at if she left me.

1016
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:01,320
Speaker 2: I consider it self.

1017
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:02,959
Speaker 4: Harm and I found out, but I'm happy I didn't,

1018
00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:04,720
Speaker 4: and we are now working on our marriage.

1019
00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:07,680
Speaker 2: Ah, working on it. There's so much wrong with all

1020
00:47:07,719 --> 00:47:09,880
Speaker 2: of that. Not working on your marriage. Oh, there are

1021
00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:12,480
Speaker 2: more people that will love you like that. Come on

1022
00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:14,640
Speaker 2: me personally, but other people.

1023
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:17,839
Speaker 4: Yeah, well sure, I'm going to invest more time doing

1024
00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:19,400
Speaker 4: everything I can to make her happy.

1025
00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:21,880
Speaker 2: Have a beautiful New Year's everyone at it.

1026
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:25,560
Speaker 4: A lot of people are being unnecessarily rude and sending

1027
00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:28,440
Speaker 4: me message up messages, calling me and my wife names.

1028
00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:31,040
Speaker 4: I want to clarify. I do not believe my wife

1029
00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:33,920
Speaker 4: would lie to me about a child. That's a monumental

1030
00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:35,680
Speaker 4: lie and something we couldn't recover from.

1031
00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:38,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, she knows that she wouldn't lie about a child.

1032
00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:40,560
Speaker 2: That's actually a huge lie. She would just lie about

1033
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:41,600
Speaker 2: cheating on me for months.

1034
00:47:41,719 --> 00:47:43,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's why she's not gonna let you find out

1035
00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:44,960
Speaker 4: about it, because it would ruin.

1036
00:47:44,840 --> 00:47:47,040
Speaker 2: Your whole relationship about Yeah.

1037
00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:49,560
Speaker 4: This is also the first and last time anything like

1038
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:51,400
Speaker 4: this has ever happened with us. I don't think of

1039
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:53,560
Speaker 4: paturning me test is necessary due to the fact that

1040
00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:55,680
Speaker 4: they've only been together once and.

1041
00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:59,360
Speaker 2: That was a long time that she said she Dude,

1042
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:05,000
Speaker 2: I don't think a paternity test is necessary because she

1043
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:08,880
Speaker 2: told me that it wasn't. That's why craziest man is

1044
00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:11,760
Speaker 2: wilfully ignorant. Honestly, look at the evidence.

1045
00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:15,719
Speaker 4: Ye wow, her pregnancy correlates with the last time we

1046
00:48:15,840 --> 00:48:18,200
Speaker 4: had spicy sleep, and it makes sense. My wife wouldn't

1047
00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:20,680
Speaker 4: take advantage of me like that. She made a mistake,

1048
00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:23,160
Speaker 4: but she's not a bad person. For months, I made

1049
00:48:23,239 --> 00:48:25,640
Speaker 4: a lot of mistakes too that pushed her to cheat.

1050
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:26,400
Speaker 2: Oh what?

1051
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:30,040
Speaker 4: And I'm not stupid and I know how it looks,

1052
00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:32,279
Speaker 4: but I know my wife wouldn't just use me for

1053
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:35,239
Speaker 4: my money. Lastly, my wife suggested that we both go

1054
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:37,919
Speaker 4: no contact with my mother and ex as it would

1055
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:39,839
Speaker 4: be the easiest way to focus on each other.

1056
00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 2: And he this is so hard to read. At a

1057
00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:44,839
Speaker 2: number two, I changed my mind? Did I decided I'm

1058
00:48:46,719 --> 00:48:47,160
Speaker 2: test tonight?

1059
00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:51,600
Speaker 4: That turned around so well real quick, as people have

1060
00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:53,799
Speaker 4: stated that she shouldn't have a problem with.

1061
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:57,239
Speaker 2: That if it is my child, Dude, that true. That

1062
00:48:57,800 --> 00:48:59,240
Speaker 2: and that's the end of that story.

1063
00:48:59,400 --> 00:48:59,640
Speaker 4: Dude.

1064
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:02,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's like actually so wild. He's like, yeah, no,

1065
00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:05,160
Speaker 2: it's like I don't need it because she told me

1066
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:07,240
Speaker 2: I didn't need it, right, And it's.

1067
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:09,480
Speaker 4: Like, yeah, yeah, I mean she was like hanging out

1068
00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:11,719
Speaker 4: with him, but they weren't. They were doing nothing because

1069
00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:13,440
Speaker 4: she told me they weren't doing it. I just like

1070
00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:17,200
Speaker 4: to laugh and like talk and I send each other's peepies.

1071
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:20,480
Speaker 2: That's it. They just have their peepies out. They're not

1072
00:49:20,600 --> 00:49:21,719
Speaker 2: doing anything with them.

1073
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:22,000
Speaker 5: No.

1074
00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:26,080
Speaker 2: I refuse to have my husband's family around because they

1075
00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:29,759
Speaker 2: won't stop smoking. I get that out of you. I

1076
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:33,040
Speaker 2: can't breathe stinky? Are we the a holes for wanting

1077
00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:35,760
Speaker 2: to ask my husband's family to go outside of smoke?

1078
00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:38,840
Speaker 2: My husband twenty eight male, and I twenty seven female,

1079
00:49:38,920 --> 00:49:41,000
Speaker 2: have been invited to his aunt and uncle's house for

1080
00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:44,279
Speaker 2: Thanksgiving this year, along with my father in law's father

1081
00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:47,480
Speaker 2: in law immediate family. The uncle is father in law's brother.

1082
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:49,480
Speaker 2: To help connect things. By the way, this comes from

1083
00:49:49,520 --> 00:49:51,640
Speaker 2: Mam twenty through twelve. But if you want to smit

1084
00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:53,560
Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime

1085
00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:58,600
Speaker 2: severed it so my husband's parents are divorced, so the

1086
00:49:58,680 --> 00:50:02,480
Speaker 2: holiday consists mostly of stress, running around to everyone's celebration,

1087
00:50:02,719 --> 00:50:05,239
Speaker 2: and without a doubt, someone being upset that they didn't

1088
00:50:05,239 --> 00:50:08,680
Speaker 2: get enough time. Add that to now having our first

1089
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:12,960
Speaker 2: child sixteen months that everyone wants to see and celebrate with,

1090
00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:16,600
Speaker 2: and we've got ourselves a pretty large craft show. That

1091
00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:19,400
Speaker 2: being said, we've been invited to go to his uncles

1092
00:50:19,440 --> 00:50:22,399
Speaker 2: for Thanksgiving this year, and they live out of state.

1093
00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:25,760
Speaker 2: This eliminates the requirement of running around, which my husband

1094
00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:29,480
Speaker 2: really hates, so that alone makes him want to go. However,

1095
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:33,040
Speaker 2: his aunt and uncle smokes SIGs in their house. You

1096
00:50:33,120 --> 00:50:35,520
Speaker 2: can't get that out. You can't get that out. We

1097
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:38,880
Speaker 2: went for Thanksgiving two years ago while I was pregnant

1098
00:50:39,880 --> 00:50:44,920
Speaker 2: and they were smoking while sitting right next to me.

1099
00:50:45,280 --> 00:50:47,440
Speaker 2: To those who may be thinking maybe they didn't know,

1100
00:50:47,719 --> 00:50:50,600
Speaker 2: we told them in September when we found out, and

1101
00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:54,759
Speaker 2: I was almost twenty weeks and showing at Thanksgiving, so

1102
00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:58,480
Speaker 2: they knew anyway. We've previously mentioned the smoking to father

1103
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:01,279
Speaker 2: in law, who's been the one communica between us and

1104
00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:04,480
Speaker 2: the uncle, and he said that they won't smoke around

1105
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:07,799
Speaker 2: said child. For those who know, and maybe those that don't.

1106
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:11,120
Speaker 2: Being in a different room doesn't indicate being affected by

1107
00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:14,600
Speaker 2: the smoke. It makes everything smell like SIGs. You can

1108
00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 2: still be inhaling it. I personally get heinous migraines from it.

1109
00:51:18,280 --> 00:51:18,520
Speaker 1: Me too.

1110
00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:21,920
Speaker 2: And the science is in we know it's extremely harmful

1111
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:24,719
Speaker 2: for children, so it's not great and we don't want

1112
00:51:24,719 --> 00:51:26,839
Speaker 2: to put our child in that kind of environment. And also,

1113
00:51:26,880 --> 00:51:29,240
Speaker 2: if you smoke in a house, I mean the smell lingers,

1114
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:31,800
Speaker 2: we don't feel like we can ask them to smoke outside,

1115
00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:34,080
Speaker 2: though it will likely cause an issue. Given that any

1116
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:37,879
Speaker 2: previous request for accommodations, such as asking to be able

1117
00:51:37,960 --> 00:51:40,000
Speaker 2: to spend time with my family and miss some of

1118
00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:43,640
Speaker 2: their celebration, resulted in toxic conflict, we also feel it

1119
00:51:43,719 --> 00:51:46,480
Speaker 2: may be disrespectful to ask them to change how they

1120
00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:49,600
Speaker 2: operate in their own home. I think you can say, hey,

1121
00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:51,880
Speaker 2: we got a baby, you can't smoke an ear. I

1122
00:51:52,040 --> 00:51:52,800
Speaker 2: think you can say that.

1123
00:51:53,280 --> 00:51:53,520
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1124
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:56,319
Speaker 2: I've always been taught that you should accommodate the guests

1125
00:51:56,360 --> 00:51:59,600
Speaker 2: you invite into your space, and therefore a feel that

1126
00:51:59,719 --> 00:52:02,240
Speaker 2: we should be able to ask this of them, especially

1127
00:52:02,280 --> 00:52:04,399
Speaker 2: since we're asking with the health of our child in mind,

1128
00:52:04,440 --> 00:52:06,480
Speaker 2: and not because we just want to be difficult. I

1129
00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:09,200
Speaker 2: feel I should also add that respectfully declining the invitation

1130
00:52:09,320 --> 00:52:11,000
Speaker 2: and the interest of the health of our child would

1131
00:52:11,120 --> 00:52:13,719
Speaker 2: likely also knock over smoothly. I mean, at the end

1132
00:52:13,760 --> 00:52:16,040
Speaker 2: of the day, you have to put your child's health

1133
00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:18,399
Speaker 2: at like it, like, I don't even care if they

1134
00:52:18,800 --> 00:52:20,879
Speaker 2: are upset about it. Your child health is the number

1135
00:52:20,880 --> 00:52:21,440
Speaker 2: one priority.

1136
00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:24,560
Speaker 1: Well, what about your own health?

1137
00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:27,840
Speaker 3: Because if you can't, it's sort of like the saying

1138
00:52:27,960 --> 00:52:29,600
Speaker 3: of if you have to put a breathing mask on

1139
00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:31,160
Speaker 3: first before you can help others.

1140
00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:34,920
Speaker 2: Okay, well what it is, what it is if you're

1141
00:52:35,239 --> 00:52:39,040
Speaker 2: the child's in my child before your health.

1142
00:52:39,560 --> 00:52:42,839
Speaker 3: But like also point, I'm thinking, like my point, I'm

1143
00:52:42,880 --> 00:52:44,480
Speaker 3: thinking like if you've got to put the mask on.

1144
00:52:45,960 --> 00:52:49,839
Speaker 2: That different, I'm done. Different. I feel I should also

1145
00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:52,400
Speaker 2: add that respectfully desclining the invitation and the interest of

1146
00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:54,239
Speaker 2: the health of our child will likely also not go

1147
00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:57,600
Speaker 2: over smoothly. Any invitation big or small, that we have

1148
00:52:57,760 --> 00:53:01,520
Speaker 2: declined previously, regardless of the reason, and has been met

1149
00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:05,880
Speaker 2: with hostility, it usually consists of both aggressive verbal conflicts

1150
00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:09,040
Speaker 2: and emotional manipulation. So it feels a bit like unless

1151
00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:11,799
Speaker 2: we just shut up and go or screwed no matter

1152
00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:14,719
Speaker 2: what we do. I apologize for the lengthy post. I

1153
00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:16,880
Speaker 2: wanted to make sure I gave enough detail for others

1154
00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:20,480
Speaker 2: to understand. Please help. We're stressed and don't know what

1155
00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:23,680
Speaker 2: to do or how to handle the situation. Are we

1156
00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:25,840
Speaker 2: the A holes if we asked them to smoke outside

1157
00:53:25,920 --> 00:53:27,600
Speaker 2: or on the garage while we're there? Are we the

1158
00:53:27,640 --> 00:53:29,839
Speaker 2: A holes if we decline and stay home? Send help?

1159
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:32,719
Speaker 2: And there is an update? Folks, whoa But what what

1160
00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:37,840
Speaker 2: is your answer? I mean like you could try inviting

1161
00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:40,600
Speaker 2: them to your place? Well, I think regardless, you can

1162
00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:43,800
Speaker 2: tell the thing is like, Okay, recently I went to

1163
00:53:44,400 --> 00:53:46,480
Speaker 2: my friend's house. I was staying at my friend's house.

1164
00:53:46,520 --> 00:53:49,440
Speaker 2: Good cats, and I'm allergic cats, And so I said, hey,

1165
00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:51,560
Speaker 2: I'm allergic cats. Is there a way where i can like, well,

1166
00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:55,840
Speaker 2: you know, okay, I'm talking. I'm talking my friend Caleb

1167
00:53:56,280 --> 00:53:58,959
Speaker 2: in Chicago, Chicago. I was just there. I was staying

1168
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:01,680
Speaker 2: there fruit here. You don't know, y, I never met him,

1169
00:54:01,800 --> 00:54:05,400
Speaker 2: Stop it anyway. The point is I asked him, I said, hey,

1170
00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:08,080
Speaker 2: if you don't mind like washing, like keeping sheets away

1171
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:11,000
Speaker 2: from the cat, is there, you know, stuff just making

1172
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:12,920
Speaker 2: sure that, like, I'm not lying on cap for stuff,

1173
00:54:12,960 --> 00:54:15,680
Speaker 2: and he ended up cleaning the house and stuff ended up.

1174
00:54:15,680 --> 00:54:17,279
Speaker 2: I actually wasn't even allergic to his cat because it

1175
00:54:17,280 --> 00:54:20,920
Speaker 2: was hypologetic. But that's not sious. But anyway, you're the

1176
00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:25,120
Speaker 2: a hole. No, but house and the cat was not

1177
00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:28,560
Speaker 2: the problem anyway. So the point is that you can

1178
00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:31,120
Speaker 2: ask people to accommodate, and if they say no, that

1179
00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:33,560
Speaker 2: is the right. But you can also say, oh, well,

1180
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:36,440
Speaker 2: I can't bring my baby around you. Yeah, exactly. It's

1181
00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:38,800
Speaker 2: just like will I don't want my baby you're smoking,

1182
00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:40,399
Speaker 2: and so I don't want to smoke a baby.

1183
00:54:40,440 --> 00:54:46,359
Speaker 6: Man, I want to smoke baby, however, baby, And then

1184
00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:49,600
Speaker 6: you can, yeah, you can just be like yo, yeah,

1185
00:54:49,680 --> 00:54:51,279
Speaker 6: I'm not coming over there, but you can come here.

1186
00:54:51,320 --> 00:54:56,600
Speaker 2: You're just no smoke's allowed. There's an update. A few things. First,

1187
00:54:56,840 --> 00:55:00,719
Speaker 2: thank you to everyone who commented. We found it really educational.

1188
00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:02,880
Speaker 2: Sometimes going to your friends who will always take your

1189
00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:05,239
Speaker 2: side just it isn't enough. So it's nice to know

1190
00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:07,960
Speaker 2: there are many strangers who think we're not insane. Second,

1191
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:10,320
Speaker 2: I asked my parents' opinion on the situation in the

1192
00:55:10,520 --> 00:55:14,040
Speaker 2: interest of ensuring I didn't misunderstand the lesson I learned

1193
00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:18,160
Speaker 2: in childhood. I accommodate the guests you invite in your space. Essentially,

1194
00:55:18,239 --> 00:55:19,600
Speaker 2: they said the same thing the rest.

1195
00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:19,799
Speaker 1: Of you did.

1196
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:22,439
Speaker 2: We can't demand they do anything with their own home,

1197
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:24,960
Speaker 2: and we definitely can't ask upon arriving on their doorstep,

1198
00:55:25,160 --> 00:55:27,560
Speaker 2: which was never the plan. Some of you commented that

1199
00:55:27,640 --> 00:55:29,520
Speaker 2: we were well within our right to ask, as long

1200
00:55:29,560 --> 00:55:32,000
Speaker 2: as we did so in advance. I should have clarified

1201
00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:36,520
Speaker 2: that that was our intention, which is why we're asking now. Third,

1202
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:38,960
Speaker 2: I asked my brother's opinion as well, because he's really

1203
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:42,280
Speaker 2: good at looking at situations from all sides and providing

1204
00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:45,600
Speaker 2: an unbiased opinion. Again, he said the same things as

1205
00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:49,160
Speaker 2: you did, so that made us feel better. Lastly, there

1206
00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:51,320
Speaker 2: were many of you said we need to grow backbones

1207
00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:54,439
Speaker 2: or be adults little babies smoking babies at club baby

1208
00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:58,360
Speaker 2: smoking babies. Well, you are correct, and we agree. The

1209
00:55:58,440 --> 00:56:02,719
Speaker 2: development of backbones is currently work in progress. The toxicity

1210
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:05,160
Speaker 2: and manipulation that occurs with the side of his family

1211
00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:08,080
Speaker 2: in particular is a fairly recent revelation for the both

1212
00:56:08,080 --> 00:56:08,319
Speaker 2: of us.

1213
00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:09,280
Speaker 3: Revelation.

1214
00:56:09,840 --> 00:56:11,960
Speaker 2: I said that our eyes were not open to this

1215
00:56:12,040 --> 00:56:16,479
Speaker 2: behavior until I was pregnant and our priorities shifted from

1216
00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:19,560
Speaker 2: appeasing them to said child. So we're still in the

1217
00:56:19,600 --> 00:56:22,400
Speaker 2: process of learning to identify the manipulation as it is

1218
00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:25,759
Speaker 2: ever changing as we continue to be resistant and how

1219
00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:28,680
Speaker 2: to handle the situation. While I am very well versed

1220
00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:32,080
Speaker 2: in dealing with toxic family members in their tantrums, thanks Mama,

1221
00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:35,839
Speaker 2: my husband's nat, we unfortunately cannot just turn off all

1222
00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:38,520
Speaker 2: twenty five plus years of training he received to appease

1223
00:56:38,560 --> 00:56:42,239
Speaker 2: and pacify them and instantly be good at putting our

1224
00:56:42,280 --> 00:56:46,399
Speaker 2: foot down. We're getting there. Bobby's in therapy and it's

1225
00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:49,160
Speaker 2: helpened a lot, but the holidays are especially difficult, so

1226
00:56:49,239 --> 00:56:51,759
Speaker 2: we need a little extra help. As of right now,

1227
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:54,279
Speaker 2: I think our plan is to decline the invitation and

1228
00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:56,520
Speaker 2: see the families we have here while doing our best

1229
00:56:56,560 --> 00:56:58,719
Speaker 2: to keep our kiddo on schedule. The more I read

1230
00:56:58,760 --> 00:57:01,160
Speaker 2: your comments about second and third hand smoke, the less

1231
00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:05,279
Speaker 2: inclined we are to go. Yeah, we're still stressed, but

1232
00:57:05,719 --> 00:57:07,959
Speaker 2: feel a bit better knowing we have people on our side.

1233
00:57:08,400 --> 00:57:10,799
Speaker 2: Update to come, and there is an update, Let's jump

1234
00:57:10,880 --> 00:57:13,920
Speaker 2: right in again. Thank you to everyone who commented and supported.

1235
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:16,320
Speaker 2: It really helps us to know that our choices are

1236
00:57:16,360 --> 00:57:19,360
Speaker 2: correct when we're constantly told we're in the wrong. Second

1237
00:57:19,440 --> 00:57:22,120
Speaker 2: Houp he called them on Tuesday, supposed to have been

1238
00:57:22,200 --> 00:57:25,120
Speaker 2: a team effort. Him tackling these things alone has led

1239
00:57:25,160 --> 00:57:27,360
Speaker 2: them to believe that he's just parroting my words and

1240
00:57:27,480 --> 00:57:30,520
Speaker 2: not that we make these decisions together, thus aiding and

1241
00:57:30,640 --> 00:57:33,960
Speaker 2: painting me is the bad guy. This was discussed and remedied.

1242
00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:37,680
Speaker 2: What are your final thoughts, Well, I'm glad that we're

1243
00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:41,680
Speaker 2: building some backbones. Build those backbones like legos. Yeah, exactly,

1244
00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:45,560
Speaker 2: one by one. You know, it takes progress.

1245
00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:48,680
Speaker 4: It takes practice to stand up to people in general,

1246
00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:50,000
Speaker 4: and then to stand up to your parents.

1247
00:57:50,040 --> 00:57:52,000
Speaker 2: It's so true hard to do.

1248
00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:54,479
Speaker 4: Especially if you've never done that in your life.

1249
00:57:54,560 --> 00:57:58,880
Speaker 2: Before you learn, it's to learn skill man for Yeah, no,

1250
00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:01,080
Speaker 2: I don't love for trying. I think stand up to them.

1251
00:58:01,120 --> 00:58:04,400
Speaker 2: And also, yeah, make sure child's not being exposed to

1252
00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:06,280
Speaker 2: second hands. But yeah, so you don't have to go

1253
00:58:06,360 --> 00:58:08,400
Speaker 2: to a thing. If people aren't willing to accommodate for

1254
00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:10,880
Speaker 2: a baby, they don't have to accommodate. But if they're

1255
00:58:10,880 --> 00:58:13,800
Speaker 2: not willing, you don't have to go any who I

1256
00:58:13,960 --> 00:58:16,080
Speaker 2: be called and stated we would love to come and

1257
00:58:16,080 --> 00:58:17,760
Speaker 2: see you for the holidays, but we don't want to

1258
00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:19,840
Speaker 2: put our kid in that kind of environment and expose

1259
00:58:19,880 --> 00:58:22,160
Speaker 2: them to those kinds of things. We know that's how

1260
00:58:22,200 --> 00:58:23,840
Speaker 2: you choose to live your life, so we're not We're

1261
00:58:23,880 --> 00:58:26,080
Speaker 2: going to respect that and politely say no, thank you.

1262
00:58:26,400 --> 00:58:28,480
Speaker 2: They then returned with an offer not to spoke in

1263
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:31,120
Speaker 2: the house and to deep clean before we arrived. Honestly,

1264
00:58:31,160 --> 00:58:34,520
Speaker 2: we're absolutely floored. Never in a million years do we

1265
00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:36,720
Speaker 2: think they would offer that, let alone do so without

1266
00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:39,680
Speaker 2: conflict or resistance. Well, I'm sure there will be things

1267
00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:42,360
Speaker 2: said behind our backs or dirty looks shared while we're

1268
00:58:42,400 --> 00:58:44,320
Speaker 2: not in the room. We don't really care. If it's

1269
00:58:44,320 --> 00:58:46,120
Speaker 2: not important enough to say to my face, I don't

1270
00:58:46,160 --> 00:58:48,320
Speaker 2: really need to know about it. At least dirty looks

1271
00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:51,200
Speaker 2: won't give my kid diseases. We'll see if they actually

1272
00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:54,640
Speaker 2: do what they say. So maybe it's not the last update.

1273
00:58:55,120 --> 00:58:58,520
Speaker 2: And folks, that was the last update. As it was. Wow,

1274
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:01,720
Speaker 2: glad things were gonna be too. I'm like, keep your

1275
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:06,560
Speaker 2: kids away from second hands about yeah, yeah, keep we

1276
00:59:06,640 --> 00:59:09,480
Speaker 2: ended up yeah yeah, exact, no smoking babies into baby

1277
00:59:09,680 --> 00:59:10,680
Speaker 2: all smoking babies.

1278
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:13,360
Speaker 7: John here og host, We're gonna get back to these stories,

1279
00:59:13,440 --> 00:59:15,520
Speaker 7: but a quick three minute break from as for more sponsors.

1280
00:59:16,520 --> 00:59:20,120
Speaker 5: My best friends turned on me just because I'm getting married?

1281
00:59:20,280 --> 00:59:21,120
Speaker 1: Did they turn laughter?

1282
00:59:21,200 --> 00:59:21,920
Speaker 2: Did they turn right?

1283
00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:26,440
Speaker 5: My friends Marie, Trish, Lucy, and Zia and I had

1284
00:59:26,520 --> 00:59:30,600
Speaker 5: been a best friend group since middle school. Marie was

1285
00:59:30,680 --> 00:59:33,640
Speaker 5: who I had grown closest to over the years. I've

1286
00:59:33,720 --> 00:59:36,600
Speaker 5: known Trish the longest, but over time I realized she

1287
00:59:36,680 --> 00:59:39,200
Speaker 5: had always kind of been a bully to me. By

1288
00:59:39,240 --> 00:59:44,120
Speaker 5: the way, this comes from a Hunna hundred droughds and

1289
00:59:44,160 --> 00:59:45,680
Speaker 5: if you want to see your own stories, go to

1290
00:59:45,720 --> 00:59:49,640
Speaker 5: the r slash Okay storytime sub reddit. So Lucy's true

1291
00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:53,000
Speaker 5: best friends were her family. I was the carefree friend

1292
00:59:53,080 --> 00:59:57,640
Speaker 5: who bought the fun. Zia was a mute, and as

1293
00:59:57,720 --> 01:00:00,480
Speaker 5: the title reads, the friendship ended after or I told

1294
01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:03,320
Speaker 5: them I was getting married. We were all mid twenties

1295
01:00:03,360 --> 01:00:06,720
Speaker 5: at the time, living in five different cities in four states,

1296
01:00:07,320 --> 01:00:10,960
Speaker 5: furthering education in careers, and one had a kid, so

1297
01:00:11,080 --> 01:00:14,600
Speaker 5: the friendship was ever changing. My husband and I have

1298
01:00:14,800 --> 01:00:18,280
Speaker 5: been together since high school and had been working towards

1299
01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:22,600
Speaker 5: marriage since college. He had an engagement ring for years

1300
01:00:22,720 --> 01:00:26,120
Speaker 5: before the proposal, but our relationship went through things and

1301
01:00:26,240 --> 01:00:30,280
Speaker 5: my expectations changed each time. I was pretty much waiting

1302
01:00:30,400 --> 01:00:33,120
Speaker 5: for things to be perfect. I'm not one of those

1303
01:00:33,120 --> 01:00:35,800
Speaker 5: people who fantasized about her dream wedding as a girl,

1304
01:00:36,280 --> 01:00:39,200
Speaker 5: but did always talk about the marriage and the kids.

1305
01:00:40,040 --> 01:00:43,240
Speaker 5: My latest non negotiable was that I wanted a private

1306
01:00:43,360 --> 01:00:47,360
Speaker 5: and elaborate proposal. Of course, my best friends knew all

1307
01:00:47,440 --> 01:00:51,600
Speaker 5: these things. After many conversations, my husband and I changed

1308
01:00:51,640 --> 01:00:54,960
Speaker 5: our minds. We decided to get married before it got

1309
01:00:55,040 --> 01:00:55,520
Speaker 5: cold at the.

1310
01:00:55,560 --> 01:00:56,000
Speaker 2: End of the year.

1311
01:00:56,680 --> 01:00:59,360
Speaker 5: That left us roughly four months to plan the wedding,

1312
01:00:59,760 --> 01:01:02,080
Speaker 5: but I I wasn't working, so I took on the challenge.

1313
01:01:02,640 --> 01:01:05,280
Speaker 5: We had to travel back home to tour venues, so

1314
01:01:05,400 --> 01:01:07,400
Speaker 5: when we finally found a place we liked in our

1315
01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:10,720
Speaker 5: price range, they had two weekends available that fit our

1316
01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:14,120
Speaker 5: timeline perfect. By this point, we were down to three

1317
01:01:14,240 --> 01:01:17,800
Speaker 5: months and some change. Also, at the time, Marie and

1318
01:01:17,960 --> 01:01:21,520
Speaker 5: Trish were in their first year of rigorous career programs.

1319
01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:24,680
Speaker 5: They had warned the group before that they need three

1320
01:01:24,840 --> 01:01:27,880
Speaker 5: months notice to take PTO. So I sent a text

1321
01:01:27,960 --> 01:01:30,120
Speaker 5: to the group saying, hey, guys, I need everyone to

1322
01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:33,960
Speaker 5: take this day off and be able to travel back home. Naturally,

1323
01:01:34,160 --> 01:01:36,400
Speaker 5: They asked what's up, and I told them I was

1324
01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:39,680
Speaker 5: getting married on that day. We texted more and I

1325
01:01:39,800 --> 01:01:42,080
Speaker 5: told them I didn't really need anything else right now,

1326
01:01:42,480 --> 01:01:44,760
Speaker 5: that my husband was going to propose soon, and to

1327
01:01:44,880 --> 01:01:47,280
Speaker 5: give me two weeks to get all the details together.

1328
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:50,720
Speaker 5: They were shocked, but appeared to be happy in the messages.

1329
01:01:51,400 --> 01:01:54,880
Speaker 5: Then I got a group FaceTime call. I was flustered

1330
01:01:55,000 --> 01:01:57,200
Speaker 5: because I had just asked them for some time and

1331
01:01:57,320 --> 01:01:59,479
Speaker 5: at the moment I was out at the store getting

1332
01:01:59,520 --> 01:02:02,840
Speaker 5: things to make bridesmaid's boxes and didn't want them to know.

1333
01:02:03,560 --> 01:02:05,920
Speaker 5: They asked about my timeline and I just told them

1334
01:02:06,040 --> 01:02:09,320
Speaker 5: that we talked and we changed our minds. We're ready now.

1335
01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:12,880
Speaker 5: Marie asked about parties and I let her know we're

1336
01:02:12,920 --> 01:02:15,840
Speaker 5: not doing all of that. Trish asked about the colors

1337
01:02:15,840 --> 01:02:19,520
Speaker 5: I chose, and everyone made general conversation. Then Marie and

1338
01:02:19,600 --> 01:02:24,200
Speaker 5: Trish started discussing schedules. They were off on opposite weekends

1339
01:02:24,280 --> 01:02:26,840
Speaker 5: on the two weeks that were available at the wedding venue.

1340
01:02:27,480 --> 01:02:30,280
Speaker 5: We talked about how Marie would try to get PTO

1341
01:02:30,440 --> 01:02:33,280
Speaker 5: and if Marie couldn't, then Trish would get PTO and

1342
01:02:33,400 --> 01:02:35,800
Speaker 5: I could simply pick the other weekend, where Marie was

1343
01:02:35,800 --> 01:02:39,400
Speaker 5: already off. Problem solved, we broke and planned to talk

1344
01:02:39,440 --> 01:02:42,160
Speaker 5: again in a few days. That day came and went,

1345
01:02:42,280 --> 01:02:44,720
Speaker 5: and I didn't hear anything, so I texted the group,

1346
01:02:44,840 --> 01:02:49,040
Speaker 5: asking Marie for an update. Marie replied saying she's trying

1347
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:52,360
Speaker 5: and she'd hate to have me worrying about her, but

1348
01:02:52,600 --> 01:02:55,000
Speaker 5: what if she can't get off. I got the vibe

1349
01:02:55,040 --> 01:02:57,560
Speaker 5: that she'd gone to her program directors already and she'd

1350
01:02:57,640 --> 01:03:00,840
Speaker 5: talk to Trish and the others, but just updated me.

1351
01:03:01,560 --> 01:03:05,000
Speaker 5: So now I'm annoyed. Then Lucy brought up a family

1352
01:03:05,080 --> 01:03:08,440
Speaker 5: trip she forgot to mention she had scheduled. Lucy makes

1353
01:03:08,480 --> 01:03:10,760
Speaker 5: plans that never happen all the time, so it was

1354
01:03:10,920 --> 01:03:14,080
Speaker 5: likely that nothing was even booked. Yet her mentioning her

1355
01:03:14,200 --> 01:03:17,480
Speaker 5: vacation as if I should plan around that too was maddening.

1356
01:03:18,120 --> 01:03:19,480
Speaker 2: I need to stop real fast.

1357
01:03:19,640 --> 01:03:22,480
Speaker 5: You are insane to think that everyone just needs to

1358
01:03:22,520 --> 01:03:24,720
Speaker 5: work around a timeline that you picked to get married

1359
01:03:24,760 --> 01:03:26,600
Speaker 5: that includes traveling to a different state.

1360
01:03:27,240 --> 01:03:29,520
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's kind of absurd to just be like everyone

1361
01:03:29,600 --> 01:03:32,960
Speaker 7: should just immediately figure out how to make.

1362
01:03:32,840 --> 01:03:34,920
Speaker 5: This work and use your PTO that you might not

1363
01:03:35,000 --> 01:03:37,360
Speaker 5: even be able to take yeah, you are insane so

1364
01:03:37,440 --> 01:03:37,760
Speaker 5: far you.

1365
01:03:37,720 --> 01:03:40,280
Speaker 7: No like, all right, maybe let's figure out when everyone's

1366
01:03:40,280 --> 01:03:43,920
Speaker 7: available first, and then if that's the priority, we planned

1367
01:03:43,960 --> 01:03:46,880
Speaker 7: the wedding venue around dates where everyone's available.

1368
01:03:47,280 --> 01:03:50,000
Speaker 5: If you truly prioritized having any of them there, you

1369
01:03:50,080 --> 01:03:52,640
Speaker 5: would have told them and figured out a date before

1370
01:03:52,800 --> 01:03:55,600
Speaker 5: booking a venue. I said, very plainly, how I needed

1371
01:03:55,640 --> 01:03:58,040
Speaker 5: an update to know if Trish needs to be requesting

1372
01:03:58,120 --> 01:04:01,880
Speaker 5: PTO so I can secure my date asap. Would you

1373
01:04:02,040 --> 01:04:04,840
Speaker 5: believe that Trish fixed her fingers to type to me?

1374
01:04:05,520 --> 01:04:06,360
Speaker 2: Is it do or die?

1375
01:04:07,200 --> 01:04:10,280
Speaker 5: Nobody spoke up afterwards, so I instantly put my gloves

1376
01:04:10,320 --> 01:04:11,760
Speaker 5: on and it's four v one.

1377
01:04:12,440 --> 01:04:15,880
Speaker 1: You're really going about this in the worst possible way.

1378
01:04:16,240 --> 01:04:20,120
Speaker 5: You sound awful. I again, very plainly said that I'm

1379
01:04:20,160 --> 01:04:22,600
Speaker 5: getting married on one of those two dates, and I'd

1380
01:04:22,640 --> 01:04:25,360
Speaker 5: hate for anybody to miss it. In return, I got

1381
01:04:25,480 --> 01:04:28,000
Speaker 5: more attitudes and was told I was acting like I

1382
01:04:28,080 --> 01:04:31,320
Speaker 5: don't care. They were just being strange and mean.

1383
01:04:31,480 --> 01:04:35,880
Speaker 1: Bro, that's you. That's what you're being. You're being strange mean.

1384
01:04:37,120 --> 01:04:39,600
Speaker 5: I reminded them they just asked me if my wedding

1385
01:04:39,760 --> 01:04:42,440
Speaker 5: was a must. So, if that is the attitude you

1386
01:04:42,560 --> 01:04:45,120
Speaker 5: have now, I'm sure I won't be missing any support

1387
01:04:45,200 --> 01:04:47,800
Speaker 5: if you're not there on the day. Then I went

1388
01:04:47,920 --> 01:04:51,080
Speaker 5: off a little and brought up another time years ago

1389
01:04:51,520 --> 01:04:52,760
Speaker 5: I didn't feel celebrated.

1390
01:04:53,440 --> 01:04:56,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then in parentheses, I messed up here.

1391
01:04:56,200 --> 01:04:58,720
Speaker 7: Yeah, of course you messed up here, because what are

1392
01:04:58,760 --> 01:05:01,600
Speaker 7: you doing dragging years old beef?

1393
01:05:02,400 --> 01:05:04,040
Speaker 1: You're being strange and weird.

1394
01:05:04,160 --> 01:05:07,880
Speaker 5: OPI I messed up here to emphasize my point that

1395
01:05:07,960 --> 01:05:11,920
Speaker 5: I wasn't depending on them to enhance my experience. Marie

1396
01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:16,120
Speaker 5: and Trish sent almost identical mocking messages implying my feelings

1397
01:05:16,160 --> 01:05:19,240
Speaker 5: in the argument were invalid because I didn't confront them

1398
01:05:19,280 --> 01:05:22,480
Speaker 5: in the previous incident. I brought up I'm mad, and

1399
01:05:22,600 --> 01:05:25,400
Speaker 5: I never told anyone I was mad. How dare they

1400
01:05:25,520 --> 01:05:28,120
Speaker 5: not come apologize? That's what you sound like?

1401
01:05:28,280 --> 01:05:32,200
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, you're way off, You're way off base, heropie.

1402
01:05:32,800 --> 01:05:35,560
Speaker 5: I then told them how my wedding is about my marriage,

1403
01:05:35,800 --> 01:05:38,480
Speaker 5: not a party for them. I called them out on

1404
01:05:38,640 --> 01:05:41,600
Speaker 5: questioning my decision and talking behind my back like we

1405
01:05:41,760 --> 01:05:44,520
Speaker 5: tended to do in the group. They got offended at

1406
01:05:44,600 --> 01:05:48,360
Speaker 5: the fake accusation and pesteringly spam called me on group

1407
01:05:48,440 --> 01:05:52,000
Speaker 5: face time. But truly I was unfazed, and it seemed

1408
01:05:52,040 --> 01:05:55,280
Speaker 5: to infuriate them more. I knew going in that a

1409
01:05:55,360 --> 01:05:57,640
Speaker 5: shotgun wedding meant some people would not be able to

1410
01:05:57,720 --> 01:06:01,720
Speaker 5: make it, groomsmen included. I was going to adjust and improvise,

1411
01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:03,360
Speaker 5: not be a bridezilla about it.

1412
01:06:03,840 --> 01:06:05,240
Speaker 1: That is such a lie.

1413
01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:08,200
Speaker 5: You were bridezilla first second.

1414
01:06:08,480 --> 01:06:11,840
Speaker 7: Immediately you're all your friends you wrote this, like all

1415
01:06:11,880 --> 01:06:15,400
Speaker 7: your friends facetimed you and called you to like be like,

1416
01:06:15,520 --> 01:06:17,560
Speaker 7: oh my god, wait, you're okay, you're getting married now,

1417
01:06:17,600 --> 01:06:18,680
Speaker 7: Oh my god, what's happening?

1418
01:06:18,720 --> 01:06:21,240
Speaker 1: What's going on? Where is it like? And you were like, yeah,

1419
01:06:21,280 --> 01:06:23,040
Speaker 1: you're not even engaged. It was so annoying.

1420
01:06:23,040 --> 01:06:24,640
Speaker 7: I didn't even want them to call because I was like,

1421
01:06:24,680 --> 01:06:27,680
Speaker 7: I told them to wait, and it's like, your vibes

1422
01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:28,520
Speaker 7: are all weird.

1423
01:06:28,440 --> 01:06:30,600
Speaker 5: As far as they know too, and you aren't as

1424
01:06:30,640 --> 01:06:32,680
Speaker 5: far as they really like, you're not engaged yet, they

1425
01:06:32,680 --> 01:06:33,520
Speaker 5: wouldn't expect you.

1426
01:06:33,560 --> 01:06:35,000
Speaker 2: To have a wedding in three months.

1427
01:06:35,080 --> 01:06:35,320
Speaker 8: Yeah.

1428
01:06:36,040 --> 01:06:38,880
Speaker 5: Eventually I joined the call, and like I said earlier,

1429
01:06:39,040 --> 01:06:42,560
Speaker 5: it's four v one. Marie was upset, saying where is

1430
01:06:42,640 --> 01:06:45,240
Speaker 5: your ring? Trish was just glad I gave her a

1431
01:06:45,360 --> 01:06:48,640
Speaker 5: reason to be hateful. She name called and critiqued me

1432
01:06:48,840 --> 01:06:51,520
Speaker 5: as a person. Surely because her ego is bruised.

1433
01:06:51,640 --> 01:06:54,920
Speaker 7: Surely, not surely because you need things to be different

1434
01:06:55,040 --> 01:07:00,520
Speaker 7: in your life. You sound eh, Yeah, yeah, let's just

1435
01:07:00,680 --> 01:07:02,960
Speaker 7: let's just bang through this, because I don't think Ope

1436
01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:05,120
Speaker 7: cannot act a ready self.

1437
01:07:04,920 --> 01:07:06,960
Speaker 2: Reflection comments all the way.

1438
01:07:07,760 --> 01:07:10,040
Speaker 5: Lucy was supportive of them and dismissive to me.

1439
01:07:10,680 --> 01:07:15,080
Speaker 1: Zeo was mute, Yeah, you're a bad friend. I'm I'm

1440
01:07:15,120 --> 01:07:16,640
Speaker 1: just gonna I'm just gonna say it. You're a bad friend.

1441
01:07:17,120 --> 01:07:20,760
Speaker 5: You're a terrible friend. I accuse them of not being

1442
01:07:20,800 --> 01:07:24,360
Speaker 5: happy for me, reiterated the invalidness of the things they

1443
01:07:24,400 --> 01:07:26,760
Speaker 5: were throwing in my face, and pretty much gave them

1444
01:07:26,840 --> 01:07:30,320
Speaker 5: my butt to kiss. From what I can remember, Ultimately,

1445
01:07:30,520 --> 01:07:32,880
Speaker 5: they all agreed that my wedding came out of nowhere.

1446
01:07:33,600 --> 01:07:36,360
Speaker 5: They think I looked crazy because there was no proposal.

1447
01:07:36,840 --> 01:07:39,720
Speaker 5: Their congratulations were reserved for when I got a ring.

1448
01:07:40,400 --> 01:07:43,320
Speaker 5: They said, people don't do things like that, and I'm clueless.

1449
01:07:44,120 --> 01:07:46,600
Speaker 5: But also, how dare I not make sure that they'll

1450
01:07:46,600 --> 01:07:49,440
Speaker 5: all be there? Because they wouldn't have thought any of

1451
01:07:49,520 --> 01:07:52,160
Speaker 5: those other things and been great bridesmaids if I had

1452
01:07:52,280 --> 01:07:53,480
Speaker 5: just accommodated them, right.

1453
01:07:53,720 --> 01:07:55,320
Speaker 1: No, you're missing the point.

1454
01:07:55,680 --> 01:07:58,960
Speaker 7: It's that it's coming out of nowhere and you're demanding

1455
01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:02,040
Speaker 7: all of your friends to re arranged their lives to

1456
01:08:02,200 --> 01:08:06,480
Speaker 7: show up for you without any prior communication.

1457
01:08:07,360 --> 01:08:09,360
Speaker 1: It's selfish, so selfish.

1458
01:08:09,920 --> 01:08:12,880
Speaker 5: We were getting nowhere, and I was tired of the insults,

1459
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:15,720
Speaker 5: so I bowed out. I hung up the FaceTime and

1460
01:08:15,880 --> 01:08:18,479
Speaker 5: later sent a text where I made some general statements

1461
01:08:18,560 --> 01:08:21,280
Speaker 5: about us not being that close and expecting.

1462
01:08:20,880 --> 01:08:21,639
Speaker 2: A little from them.

1463
01:08:21,800 --> 01:08:22,080
Speaker 4: Wow.

1464
01:08:22,760 --> 01:08:24,760
Speaker 5: I ended the friendship and blocked them all.

1465
01:08:25,080 --> 01:08:25,240
Speaker 4: Good.

1466
01:08:25,360 --> 01:08:28,040
Speaker 1: I got my Hey, you go girl, you showed them.

1467
01:08:28,320 --> 01:08:29,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, your wedding's gonna be boring.

1468
01:08:30,680 --> 01:08:33,519
Speaker 5: I got my proposal and ring had the wedding and

1469
01:08:33,680 --> 01:08:35,280
Speaker 5: tried to put them in the back of my mind.

1470
01:08:35,920 --> 01:08:38,599
Speaker 5: I know I didn't handle the situation perfectly by any

1471
01:08:38,720 --> 01:08:39,760
Speaker 5: means or in any way.

1472
01:08:40,320 --> 01:08:43,960
Speaker 7: Literally, yeah, at least you're aware of that, But even

1473
01:08:44,000 --> 01:08:45,480
Speaker 7: that felt like sarcastic.

1474
01:08:46,160 --> 01:08:49,120
Speaker 5: After much ruminating, three years later, I won the battle

1475
01:08:49,160 --> 01:08:51,759
Speaker 5: with my pride and reached out to Marie to reconcile.

1476
01:08:52,560 --> 01:08:55,360
Speaker 5: She wanted to separate herself from the group and offered

1477
01:08:55,400 --> 01:08:59,639
Speaker 5: an explanation. Then she proceeded to defend the group's stance

1478
01:08:59,720 --> 01:09:02,479
Speaker 5: of me failing to realize that they were there to

1479
01:09:02,560 --> 01:09:06,040
Speaker 5: support me and stand behind whatever I wanted. She was

1480
01:09:06,240 --> 01:09:09,240
Speaker 5: just concerned that I didn't act excited in my announcement

1481
01:09:09,320 --> 01:09:12,479
Speaker 5: text or have a ring In the FaceTime call. She

1482
01:09:12,680 --> 01:09:15,200
Speaker 5: was worried I wasn't happy because I didn't get a proposal.

1483
01:09:15,880 --> 01:09:18,240
Speaker 5: She mentioned that no one said is it do or die?

1484
01:09:18,560 --> 01:09:19,879
Speaker 2: It was just rushed.

1485
01:09:20,479 --> 01:09:23,519
Speaker 5: She knows that there are steps to the process and

1486
01:09:23,640 --> 01:09:25,880
Speaker 5: that was not the typical order of things.

1487
01:09:26,520 --> 01:09:27,000
Speaker 2: She learned.

1488
01:09:27,040 --> 01:09:30,120
Speaker 5: She didn't have PTO and was stressed trying to figure

1489
01:09:30,160 --> 01:09:32,519
Speaker 5: out how they were going to throw a bridal shower

1490
01:09:33,000 --> 01:09:36,320
Speaker 5: because she wanted to celebrate me. Also, did I not

1491
01:09:36,520 --> 01:09:38,479
Speaker 5: think it would hurt her if she missed her best

1492
01:09:38,479 --> 01:09:41,439
Speaker 5: friend's wedding. She didn't come to me with any of

1493
01:09:41,520 --> 01:09:44,559
Speaker 5: this because she didn't want to dampen my moment. She says,

1494
01:09:44,600 --> 01:09:47,599
Speaker 5: I'm justified in my feelings of not wanting to explain myself,

1495
01:09:48,000 --> 01:09:51,560
Speaker 5: but she's justified in hers because she was genuinely concerned.

1496
01:09:52,240 --> 01:09:55,000
Speaker 5: She's aware that's not how it came across to me,

1497
01:09:55,479 --> 01:09:56,639
Speaker 5: and she meant no malice.

1498
01:09:56,760 --> 01:10:00,800
Speaker 8: There's a bit more, But I feel like op is

1499
01:10:00,960 --> 01:10:04,639
Speaker 8: so exhausting, so exhausting, And this especially is like, after

1500
01:10:04,960 --> 01:10:08,760
Speaker 8: much deliberation in my head, I decided to reach out three.

1501
01:10:08,800 --> 01:10:12,840
Speaker 1: Years later, again just dragging up old stuff. Move on.

1502
01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:15,800
Speaker 7: I thought you said, you know what happened to all

1503
01:10:15,880 --> 01:10:18,240
Speaker 7: those thoughts and opinions you had about all these people?

1504
01:10:18,479 --> 01:10:22,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, come on the way I see it. These concerns

1505
01:10:22,640 --> 01:10:24,840
Speaker 5: or all things I told them either didn't matter to

1506
01:10:24,920 --> 01:10:27,840
Speaker 5: me was going to happen I didn't want, or I

1507
01:10:28,080 --> 01:10:31,000
Speaker 5: was okay with in our very first conversation about the wedding,

1508
01:10:31,680 --> 01:10:35,160
Speaker 5: or frankly, they just had no say in whatsoever. And

1509
01:10:35,280 --> 01:10:38,240
Speaker 5: I most definitely told them I was happy about my decision.

1510
01:10:38,760 --> 01:10:41,760
Speaker 5: I don't believe their desire to understand everything was necessary

1511
01:10:41,960 --> 01:10:45,760
Speaker 5: or respectful of my relationship and about people missing the day.

1512
01:10:46,160 --> 01:10:49,200
Speaker 5: You can't you can't make it a big deal if

1513
01:10:49,240 --> 01:10:52,160
Speaker 5: the bride doesn't, right, I thought that was just the

1514
01:10:52,280 --> 01:10:57,560
Speaker 5: rule from my POV. Her actions were patronizing, disapproving, invalidating

1515
01:10:57,600 --> 01:11:01,960
Speaker 5: towards my relationship, and entitled. You're into you are so entitled?

1516
01:11:02,760 --> 01:11:05,160
Speaker 1: Like none of that made any sense.

1517
01:11:05,240 --> 01:11:08,120
Speaker 7: I just want you to know that, Ope, like your friends,

1518
01:11:08,920 --> 01:11:10,760
Speaker 7: your friends were upset that they weren't going to be

1519
01:11:10,760 --> 01:11:12,800
Speaker 7: able to be at your wedding, and that you were

1520
01:11:12,880 --> 01:11:15,360
Speaker 7: demanding that they had PTO that they.

1521
01:11:15,280 --> 01:11:18,200
Speaker 5: Don't have, and then that when they actually didn't have PTO,

1522
01:11:18,439 --> 01:11:19,840
Speaker 5: you didn't care that they weren't going.

1523
01:11:19,840 --> 01:11:20,160
Speaker 2: To be there.

1524
01:11:20,520 --> 01:11:23,760
Speaker 7: And then they're like, also like, I just didn't know

1525
01:11:23,760 --> 01:11:25,600
Speaker 7: how to go about this because I didn't want to

1526
01:11:25,880 --> 01:11:28,479
Speaker 7: like dampen your mood, because it's like, it should be

1527
01:11:28,560 --> 01:11:31,200
Speaker 7: a fun thing that you're getting married now, and I

1528
01:11:31,240 --> 01:11:33,360
Speaker 7: don't want to be like, hey, I can't come.

1529
01:11:33,600 --> 01:11:36,960
Speaker 1: That's gonna, you know, kill a mood. This is so weird.

1530
01:11:37,360 --> 01:11:40,040
Speaker 1: You're weird, You're strange and mean.

1531
01:11:40,400 --> 01:11:40,679
Speaker 2: Op.

1532
01:11:42,120 --> 01:11:43,880
Speaker 5: It was also a red flag to me that she

1533
01:11:44,040 --> 01:11:48,720
Speaker 5: defended and denied Tricia's hurtful words. Am I silly for

1534
01:11:48,840 --> 01:11:52,439
Speaker 5: considering reconciliation while Marie is still friends with the rest?

1535
01:11:52,840 --> 01:11:56,760
Speaker 5: How can concern about a marriage decision be positive? Why

1536
01:11:56,840 --> 01:12:00,519
Speaker 5: were my words not assuring enough? Did I really them more?

1537
01:12:01,240 --> 01:12:03,800
Speaker 5: Are they in denial that they didn't truly support my

1538
01:12:03,880 --> 01:12:07,920
Speaker 5: relationship due to past issues? Or did they hate me

1539
01:12:08,000 --> 01:12:09,880
Speaker 5: the whole time and couldn't stand to see me in

1540
01:12:09,920 --> 01:12:10,679
Speaker 5: front and center?

1541
01:12:11,400 --> 01:12:15,960
Speaker 1: Of course, of course that thought is in your head,

1542
01:12:16,320 --> 01:12:17,040
Speaker 1: that's crazy.

1543
01:12:17,720 --> 01:12:20,120
Speaker 2: What am I missing? Am I just the a hole?

1544
01:12:20,320 --> 01:12:23,439
Speaker 5: Yeah? All of this because I was pregnant and had

1545
01:12:23,520 --> 01:12:26,320
Speaker 5: to wait for a doctor's appointment. I wanted to include

1546
01:12:26,439 --> 01:12:29,560
Speaker 5: ultrasound pictures in the bridesmaid boxes and make sure my

1547
01:12:29,640 --> 01:12:32,960
Speaker 5: baby was even living before telling them, and they got

1548
01:12:33,080 --> 01:12:34,400
Speaker 5: hung up on the order of things.

1549
01:12:34,560 --> 01:12:38,360
Speaker 7: So again, this is op being like they didn't know

1550
01:12:38,560 --> 01:12:41,160
Speaker 7: this thing I didn't tell them, And because they didn't

1551
01:12:41,240 --> 01:12:44,120
Speaker 7: know that, I'm gonna use that as a reason why

1552
01:12:44,240 --> 01:12:45,200
Speaker 7: I'm upset at them.

1553
01:12:45,520 --> 01:12:47,440
Speaker 1: What did You're ridiculous?

1554
01:12:47,800 --> 01:12:50,360
Speaker 5: This also now feels like you're throwing this in to

1555
01:12:50,400 --> 01:12:51,519
Speaker 5: get sympathy points back.

1556
01:12:51,880 --> 01:12:52,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't care.

1557
01:12:52,880 --> 01:12:55,080
Speaker 5: They found out about my kid through the grapevine, and

1558
01:12:55,160 --> 01:12:57,680
Speaker 5: I hope they felt foolish. You should feel foolish. This

1559
01:12:57,840 --> 01:13:00,880
Speaker 5: is weird, but they most likely just talked crap. And

1560
01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:03,439
Speaker 5: if they use Reddit and find this post, then yes,

1561
01:13:03,680 --> 01:13:05,040
Speaker 5: this effing play is about you.

1562
01:13:06,400 --> 01:13:09,880
Speaker 2: How about this thing terrible here? You should be embarrassed.

1563
01:13:10,240 --> 01:13:13,439
Speaker 7: How about maybe your friends were actually concerned about you

1564
01:13:13,680 --> 01:13:16,519
Speaker 7: because you're with your high school sweetheart and the only

1565
01:13:16,640 --> 01:13:18,880
Speaker 7: thing that got you guys to get married, it seems

1566
01:13:19,000 --> 01:13:22,200
Speaker 7: is that you got pregnant, and they're asking where's the

1567
01:13:22,400 --> 01:13:24,880
Speaker 7: ring because they're like, we want to make sure this

1568
01:13:25,040 --> 01:13:27,800
Speaker 7: guy's going to actually treat you the way that you

1569
01:13:27,880 --> 01:13:30,759
Speaker 7: would deserve to be treated, which if you're gonna get married,

1570
01:13:31,080 --> 01:13:32,840
Speaker 7: I would say a ring is pretty high up on

1571
01:13:32,920 --> 01:13:35,360
Speaker 7: the list of things you need before you get married.

1572
01:13:35,840 --> 01:13:37,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, something, I don't know.

1573
01:13:38,760 --> 01:13:41,960
Speaker 2: That's it. That's the end of it. There's not even comments.

1574
01:13:42,320 --> 01:13:44,560
Speaker 7: We don't need any comments. We've made them all. We

1575
01:13:45,280 --> 01:13:48,200
Speaker 7: know that the comments are going to rip into her. Yeah,

1576
01:13:49,200 --> 01:13:52,480
Speaker 7: that was a crazy example of someone with no self awareness,

1577
01:13:52,680 --> 01:13:52,720
Speaker 7: no