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Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 2: From that place of vulnerability, that force, vulnerability that introverts hate,

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Speaker 2: but then they thank us for later, people are able

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Speaker 2: to really have genuine encounters with God. So when we worship,

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Speaker 2: when I preach the word, I'm not having to knock

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Speaker 2: down your walls at the same time, because in the

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Speaker 2: context of sisterhood and community, we've been able to make

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Speaker 2: you feel seen and safe here.

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Speaker 1: Today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration,

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Speaker 1: or a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA moments

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Speaker 1: or appreciate anything from this episode, please leave us a

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Speaker 1: review to let us know we're on the right track. Also,

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Speaker 1: we release episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe

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Speaker 1: on iTunes and visit Cultivatinghurspace dot com to access our

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Speaker 1: exclusive after show and other bonus content from the Patreon tab.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting

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Speaker 3: women like you. We're your hosts, doctor Dominique Brussard, a

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Speaker 3: college professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 4: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a

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Speaker 4: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please

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Speaker 4: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

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Speaker 4: fibroids to fake friends, and create a safe space where

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Speaker 4: black women can just be.

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Speaker 5: Lady. Get ready, Get ready.

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Speaker 6: Okay, we have a special guest today on the podcast

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Speaker 6: that we are so excited to chat with. Okay, I'm

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Speaker 6: just going to tell you this in advance. Get your pen,

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Speaker 6: get your paper, or start getting ready to take them

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Speaker 6: notes in that notepad because the gyms are on the way,

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Speaker 6: all right. Sarah Jakes Frappers is an author, speaker, entrepreneur,

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Speaker 6: and philanthropist. She is a founder of Women Evolve, a

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Speaker 6: multimedia platform that provides women with the tools, support, and

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Speaker 6: encouragement necessary to make a positive and lasting change in

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Speaker 6: their lives through various resources such as digital and live events, books, podcasts,

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Speaker 6: online content. Woman Evolved seeks to address the holistic needs

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Speaker 6: of women and empower them to lead fulfilling, and impactful lives.

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Speaker 6: Alongside her husband to Ray Roberts, she co pastors at

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Speaker 6: One Los Angeles and serves in leadership at The Potter's

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Speaker 6: House Dallas. Her messages spread throughout the world, define cultural, religious, gender,

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Speaker 6: and socioeconomic boundaries with her down to earth personality contemporary

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Speaker 6: style because y'all know she'd be stylish okay, and revelatory messages.

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Speaker 6: There's no question why Time one hundred Next named her

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Speaker 6: as an emerging thought leader for this generation. Today, we

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Speaker 6: have the privilege of speaking to Sarah about her new book,

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Speaker 6: Power Moves. Ignite your confidence and become a force. Also,

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Speaker 6: I'm going to put you on notice of you may

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Speaker 6: not know this, Sarah is the best Internet interior designer

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Speaker 6: that you never knew about, but now you know. Sarah

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Speaker 6: Roberts Jakes, welcome to cultivating her space. Thank you so much.

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Speaker 6: I'm so glad to be a part.

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Speaker 3: Yes, we are so looking forward to this conversation. And

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Speaker 3: so we're going to get into our quote of the day,

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Speaker 3: which Sarah you will find very familiar because these are

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Speaker 3: your words, and ladies, as you're listenating, know that this

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Speaker 3: quote of the day comes from the dedication in her

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Speaker 3: new book, May you discover the power of being yourself

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Speaker 3: and release the gift of you every place you go. Now,

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna say that one more time for the folks

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Speaker 3: in the back, because this quote sets the ground for

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Speaker 3: our conversation today. May you discover the power of being yourself?

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Speaker 3: And release the gifts of you every place you go.

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Speaker 3: Sarah again, welcome to cultivating her space. And when you

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Speaker 3: hear your words, what comes up for you?

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Speaker 2: Well, when I wrote that quote specifically, I was thinking about,

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Speaker 2: ultimately the many times in my life where I questioned

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Speaker 2: whether or not there was power in being myself, whether

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Speaker 2: there was power in my truth, power in my presence,

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Speaker 2: power in the way that I love someone that I

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Speaker 2: am bringing ideas.

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Speaker 5: To the table.

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Speaker 2: I question so much about my worth and my value,

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Speaker 2: and one of the things that I treasure that most

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Speaker 2: is coming to a place where I discovered that power

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Speaker 2: and recognize that it works anywhere that I release it.

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Speaker 2: And so whenever I'm writing these dedications, I'm thinking to myself,

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Speaker 2: what words would have maybe grabbed my attention when I

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Speaker 2: was questioning my worth and my power. And I feel

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Speaker 2: like that just in ca papsulated it, Like there's power

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Speaker 2: inside of you and it deserves to be released in

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Speaker 2: everything that you do.

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Speaker 6: Oh beautiful, we totally enjoyed reading your book. It was

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Speaker 6: so intentional, like you can tell that you really took

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Speaker 6: your time with this creation. And we're gonna talk into

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Speaker 6: that in just a bit, But first, let's start with

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Speaker 6: your origin story. Who is Sarah James Roberts And what

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Speaker 6: is your origin story? How did you become the Sarah

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Speaker 6: Jax Roberts that we see today? Oh, child's that's gonna

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Speaker 6: take the baby, Okay? Who is Sarah Jax Roberts.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's weird having a name that I think

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Speaker 2: is attached to a lot of influence and hope and inspiration,

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Speaker 2: because I feel like that name holds a lot of

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Speaker 2: weight for some people, but for me, like I just

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Speaker 2: feel like I am a girl who was tapping into

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Speaker 2: her womanhood and sharing the lessons from that with anyone

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Speaker 2: who was in a position to hear it. So whether

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Speaker 2: that's my children, my friends, or my social media or

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Speaker 2: my messages, but I would say that my story really began.

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Speaker 2: I was born in West Virginia. I moved to Dallas

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Speaker 2: when I was seven or eight years old. My father

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Speaker 2: is you know, Bishop TD Jakes, and he has this incredible,

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Speaker 2: large platform that he and my mother built together. With

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Speaker 2: that came a lot of pressure, and I resist pressure,

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Speaker 2: and so I tried to find a way to find

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Speaker 2: a sense of belonging in the sense of that I

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Speaker 2: made a lot of detours.

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Speaker 5: I had a lot.

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Speaker 2: Of challenging experiences, including teen pregnancy and waitressing at a

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Speaker 2: strip club and dropping out of college, and finally came

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Speaker 2: to a place where I was like, you know what,

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Speaker 2: I am just going to see what Bishop Jakes is

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Speaker 2: talking about over there, about this guy's stuff, about this

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Speaker 2: Jesus stuff.

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Speaker 5: I'm gonna see if it fits for girls like me.

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Speaker 2: And I discovered a deeply intimate relationship with God that

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Speaker 2: I felt like every woman who's ever felt this connected

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Speaker 2: from faith, is connected from spirituality, should be awakened to

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Speaker 2: her sense of divinity and connection and relationship with God.

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Speaker 2: And so I just started sharing that through a blog

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Speaker 2: and it has become much more than I anticipated.

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Speaker 5: But I'm grateful to be along on the ride.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

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Speaker 3: Wow, thank you for sharing that. And you know, I

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Speaker 3: think as you were sharing your story, some of the

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Speaker 3: things that you were sharing about your journey kind of

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Speaker 3: tap into some of the midst the legends, the misconceptions

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Speaker 3: that folks have about preacher's kids, right, And I would

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Speaker 3: imagine for you also with your dad being Bishop TD Jakes,

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Speaker 3: like there's a lot of prussure that comes along with

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Speaker 3: how you are coming to be into your womanhood.

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Speaker 5: Right, and so.

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Speaker 3: As I reflect on your journey and reflect on the

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Speaker 3: things that you discuss in your new book, how would

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Speaker 3: you say growing up in your household shape your identity development?

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Speaker 3: Like what are some of the things that came up

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Speaker 3: for you?

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Speaker 2: Both of my parents have been very transparent about having

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Speaker 2: grown up in homes where there was domestic abuse and violence,

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Speaker 2: and I think as a result of that, they gave

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Speaker 2: us a home where there was no confrontation at all.

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Speaker 2: And I think because there was no confrontation, there was

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Speaker 2: also not a lot of tools on helping us deal

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Speaker 2: with inner conflict. And there's no way that you grow

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Speaker 2: up with you know, TDJSA as a father, whatever that

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Speaker 2: name means to people, and have an inner conflict that

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Speaker 2: you don't know how to address or to give language to.

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Speaker 2: And so while I know all of the myths and

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Speaker 2: misconceptions about Preacher's kids, I always liken it to like

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Speaker 2: if a dentist child gets a cavity, No one's like,

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Speaker 2: how did the dentist kids get a cavity? Like, because

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Speaker 2: there's just an understanding that comes with that.

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Speaker 5: We were people, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: Like my father had this gift, this anointing, this ability

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Speaker 2: to help people feel seen and valued. But outside of that,

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Speaker 2: we were real people whose parents had this over seemingly

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Speaker 2: overnight catapulting into this platform that was bigger than us.

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Speaker 2: And I think that so much of what I do

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Speaker 2: has been shaped by this idea of I don't know

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Speaker 2: where I fit, I don't know that I fit, I

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Speaker 2: don't know that I want to fit, like I don't

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Speaker 2: know that any of this makes sense to me, and

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Speaker 2: having this space to go on my own journey, you know,

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Speaker 2: as a result ultimately of me getting pregnant. When you

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Speaker 2: get pregnant at thirteen and you're the bishop daughter, like

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Speaker 2: the best thing that you could do for everyone involved

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Speaker 2: is kind of like.

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Speaker 5: Get out of the way.

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Speaker 2: And I think as a result of getting out of

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Speaker 2: the way, I didn't feel pressure to be anything anymore.

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Speaker 5: I think that's, you.

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Speaker 2: Know, the beauty of being what at where some people

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Speaker 2: would call rock bottom, is that like the bar was

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Speaker 2: set so low for me at that point that I

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Speaker 2: didn't feel any like no one's asking me, am I

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Speaker 2: following in my father's footsteps. No one thinks that you're

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Speaker 2: the good girl or the perfect girl anymore, And so

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Speaker 2: many ways it was very liberating to not have that

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Speaker 2: pressure anymore. It also was the reason why I explore

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Speaker 2: so many different things and have so many experiences that

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Speaker 2: I have, And so I had lost that pressure at

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Speaker 2: a very early age, which I think I needed to

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Speaker 2: be where I am now because I can be here

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Speaker 2: without feeling the pressure. I can sense it. I can

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Speaker 2: tell when it's closed and get on me. And I

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Speaker 2: can also be like, listen, I'm not even supposed to

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Speaker 2: be here in the first place, so like whatever here

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Speaker 2: I am, and I can be authentic because I had

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Speaker 2: to cultivate that through hardship and through being isolated as

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Speaker 2: a result of my team pregnancy, and so I.

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Speaker 5: Was shaped to survive.

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Speaker 2: I think many of the thoughts and opinions that can

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Speaker 2: come with where I am now because the ground, the

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Speaker 2: breeding ground, was a thirteen year old girl who had

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Speaker 2: to hear a lot of stuff about who she was

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Speaker 2: and who she wasn't.

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Speaker 4: Hey, lady, it's Terry here, dom and I want to

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Speaker 4: take a moment to thank you for choosing to listen

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Speaker 4: to our podcast. We love you for real, and we

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Speaker 4: want to give you a chance to learn more about

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Speaker 4: what's important to us. So tell us what you think

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Speaker 4: about this.

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Speaker 3: Imagine a world where you have a chance to get

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Speaker 3: featured on the Cultivating her Space podcast and share your business,

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Speaker 3: brand or perspective with millions around the globe. Imagine joining

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Speaker 3: our monthly virtual video check ins where you can connect

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Speaker 3: with like minded black women like you and share your

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Speaker 3: ideas and episode suggestions with Terry and I. Now, I

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Speaker 3: want you to imagine a world where you're in the

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Speaker 3: exclusive call Elevating her Space Sanctuary Slack channel, and throughout

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Speaker 3: your day and week, you are conversing with us about

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Speaker 3: what's happening in your life and sharing funny gifts and

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Speaker 3: or personal wins. How does that sound?

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Speaker 4: Hopefully this is up your alley, lady, because we are

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Speaker 4: taking things to the next level this year, and we're

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Speaker 4: doubling down on investing in our community.

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Speaker 5: That means you.

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Speaker 4: We want to meet you, connect with you, and create

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Speaker 4: communities of genuine women who love on black women and

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Speaker 4: push our culture and movement forward. We launched this podcast

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Speaker 4: in twenty nineteen, and to date, we have not missed

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Speaker 4: that can really help you up level your life. So,

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Speaker 4: You can learn more about our goals and exclusive offerings

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Speaker 4: we'll hop right back into the conversation.

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Speaker 6: Oh, Mike A drive that was so beautifully stated and

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Speaker 6: talk about perspective and like the power of the pivot.

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Speaker 6: So I want to go back to what you said

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Speaker 6: about being real people. Right, People often get sort of

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Speaker 6: distracted by the influence and the power and the things

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Speaker 6: that they see.

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Speaker 5: But let's just go right into your book. Right.

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Speaker 6: Your book is vulnerable, It's honest. You offer practical tips

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Speaker 6: and powerful reflection questions. We love the flip the switch

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Speaker 6: reflection questions at the end of the chapter. And so,

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Speaker 6: I guess what I appreciate most about your book is

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Speaker 6: the fact that it promotes introspection. It's very much a

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Speaker 6: personal journey, so it promotes introspection and also self accountability.

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Speaker 6: And so let us know what inspired you to write

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Speaker 6: Power Moves and what message do you hope that your

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Speaker 6: readers take away from it.

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Speaker 5: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Well, I begin to see my life change, and I

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Speaker 2: was trying to figure out why. Whenever I got finished speaking,

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Speaker 2: people are like that was so powerful.

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Speaker 5: You were so powered. You're a powerhouse.

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Speaker 2: They get power, power, power, And I don't really feel

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Speaker 2: like powerful when I'm preaching. Then I see you clip

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Speaker 2: and me preaching, I'd be like what were we doing there?

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Speaker 2: Like like what was happening there? And so I started

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Speaker 2: really kind of like asking God, like what is happening

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Speaker 2: with my life that that can exist in a moment

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Speaker 2: and then like not exist, Like I'm not walking around

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Speaker 2: the house beating my chest or like crouching when I'm

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Speaker 2: taking the kids to school. And so I was trying

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Speaker 2: to figure out, like what is that and like how

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Speaker 2: can I channel that into everything that I do?

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Speaker 5: And I really felt like God.

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Speaker 2: Showed me, through my relationship and prayer and meditation that

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Speaker 2: that was only one expression of my power. And if

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Speaker 2: I limited myself to that one expression of my power,

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Speaker 2: then I would miss how I was being powerful as

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Speaker 2: a mother, just sitting listening to my children, how I

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Speaker 2: was being powerful by saying I need rest, I need

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Speaker 2: a break. And I think oftentimes we are lusting for

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Speaker 2: an idea of power that is really arrogant or pride,

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Speaker 2: like I want to feel invincible. I want to feel

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Speaker 2: like nothing can stop me. I want like That's what

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Speaker 2: I wanted to feel. But God really showed me that

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Speaker 2: power is not about invincibility. Power is about radical authenticity.

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Speaker 2: It's about radical humility, It's about radical faith. And I

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Speaker 2: wanted people to understand that power quite literally moves like

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Speaker 2: people want to make a power move, and I think

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Speaker 2: towards the end of the book we begin to talk

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Speaker 2: about how to make those power moves. But first power

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Speaker 2: needs to move in you. You got to reclaim power

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Speaker 2: from shame. You got to reclaim power from people's expectations,

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Speaker 2: You got to reclaim power from people pleasing. And then

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Speaker 2: you have to define what does it mean for me

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Speaker 2: to be powerful as a woman preacher, what does it

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Speaker 2: mean for me to be powerful as a business owner?

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Speaker 2: Because each of those have different definitions of power. And

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Speaker 2: so I wrote this book selfishly trying to examine how

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Speaker 2: power was moving in my life and why it was

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Speaker 2: coming out as a power move on the outside of me.

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Speaker 2: And I realized that before we make any type of

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Speaker 2: power move on the outside, there's something that takes place internally.

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Speaker 2: Even in a merger and acquisition where businesses make huge

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Speaker 2: power moves, the announcement is the power move, But what

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Speaker 2: was happening inside before the announcement took place was power

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Speaker 2: moving within the organization so that they could determine this

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Speaker 2: strategy for the way forward. And so this book for

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Speaker 2: me is a roadmap to making power moves by recognizing

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Speaker 2: that power moves.

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Speaker 3: All right, So as we're talking about power moves and

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Speaker 3: you're pointing out that, like you have to start from within, right,

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Speaker 3: For someone who hasn't seen your book yet, they're gonna

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Speaker 3: get it after listening to this episode. Where does that

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Speaker 3: work start? How does one say, okay, wait, I need

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Speaker 3: to do if I'm gonna make power moves on the outside,

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Speaker 3: I gotta go within. How does one begin that work

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Speaker 3: of doing the inside work.

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Speaker 2: I will say that if you feel like that's your

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Speaker 2: starting point, because some people may say, you know what,

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Speaker 2: I feel powerful, I'm ready to let go and to

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Speaker 2: move into my destiny. And we talk about how power

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Speaker 2: moves between ideas and industries and how to create change

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Speaker 2: in that world, in the world. But if it is

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Speaker 2: for you where you're like I feel like this is

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Speaker 2: resonating with me, like there is a missing point to

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Speaker 2: my power, I would say to spend less time thinking

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Speaker 2: about how to be powerful and more time thinking about

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Speaker 2: the moments when you feel powerless. One are the moments

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Speaker 2: where you suppress your thoughts, you suppress your voice, you

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Speaker 2: choose to go against what you know to be true,

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Speaker 2: because those are the moments that ra us of power.

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Speaker 2: I feel like so many of us have normalized shrinking

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Speaker 2: in order to stay connected, muting our voices in order

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Speaker 2: to continue to maintain a sense of love and connection,

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Speaker 2: and little by little, what we don't realize is that's

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Speaker 2: draining us of power. So now I don't speak up. Now,

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Speaker 2: I don't advocate for myself. Now, I don't create boundaries

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Speaker 2: because I'm so afraid that me showing up in the

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Speaker 2: fullness of who I am means that I will lose you,

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Speaker 2: and so to really recognize that that fear has power

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Speaker 2: and that our responsibility is to reclaim that power. Now,

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Speaker 2: this is where most people get stuck, right because they're like,

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Speaker 2: I'm not going to go from zero to one hundred

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Speaker 2: miles per hour. Where I was the person who was

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Speaker 2: shrinking and now I'm like, don't cross me.

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Speaker 5: I'm not the one.

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Speaker 2: I've really challenged people to think about those moments where

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Speaker 2: you feel powerless. To think about what you were afraid

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Speaker 2: of in that moment, and what would power have said

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Speaker 2: if you weren't afraid, if you weren't afraid, what would

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Speaker 2: you have said in that meeting? What would you have

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Speaker 2: said in that argument? What did you want to say?

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Speaker 2: What did you want to feel? If you can say

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Speaker 2: it to yourself, if you can allow you to take

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Speaker 2: up space inside of you, it begins to demand that

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Speaker 2: the next time you're in the situations that you consider

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Speaker 2: how you really want to show up, even if you're

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Speaker 2: not ready to push play on it, to let it

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Speaker 2: marinate inside of you, it changes the next time you're

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Speaker 2: in an interaction and you may say, you know what

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna let your side and you say, you know

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Speaker 2: what on secondhand, on the second thought, when you did X, Y,

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Speaker 2: and Z, it actually made me feel this. But you

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Speaker 2: got to practice hearing your own voice, practice honoring your

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Speaker 2: own thoughts so that you can be in a position

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Speaker 2: to eventually allow that to show up in the choices

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Speaker 2: and decisions that you make.

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Speaker 6: I love that that is so powerful pun intended, and

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Speaker 6: I feel like you talk about that in the book

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Speaker 6: to the marination process of like I think you said

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Speaker 6: something like I'm not that friend where I hear a

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Speaker 6: message and I go in it right away, like it's

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Speaker 6: gonna take me a little bit of time. So I

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Speaker 6: love that you talked about rehearsing it in your mind first,

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Speaker 6: because sometimes we think that we have to learn the

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Speaker 6: new information and just go act. But if we can

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Speaker 6: rehearse it first, practice it here ourselves, hear our voice internally,

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Speaker 6: and then begin to implement it in life. Love that

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Speaker 6: pro tip, And Sigarette, I just wanted to let you

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Speaker 6: know that you know, we're loving this conversation, but we're

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Speaker 6: gon let's switch up the energy a little bit. Okay,

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Speaker 6: let's go, let's do it so because we recognize appreciate

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Speaker 6: and celebrate the multifaceted woman. And we believe that it's

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Speaker 6: okay to be bougie, classy and ratchet. You can still

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Speaker 6: be elegant and dance to strip club music if you

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Speaker 6: so choose. We want to invite you to the Oh

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Speaker 6: you blatchet segment?

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Speaker 5: Do you take on the challenge? I don't know. We'll see,

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Speaker 5: let's see if power this direction right, we don't see.

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Speaker 5: I like that, very honest answer. Okay.

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Speaker 6: So, now that we have kind of give you an

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Speaker 6: overview of what to expect, we're going to tell you

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Speaker 6: we give you a little bit more detail. So we're

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Speaker 6: going to ask you three questions. We're going to share

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Speaker 6: three sentis completions, and then, Sarah, we have three photos

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Speaker 6: put up a view that we're going to share on

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Speaker 6: the big screen, and what we want you to do

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Speaker 6: is we want you to choose a number out of

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Speaker 6: one in three and once we revealed that particular photo

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Speaker 6: on screen, we want you to give us some context

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Speaker 6: about the photo that we wouldn't know just by looking

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Speaker 6: at it.

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Speaker 5: So we're gonna ease into the segment very gentley.

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Speaker 2: And the first question slow, take me slow, Okay, We're

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Speaker 2: gonna take you slow.

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Speaker 5: We got you girl.

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Speaker 6: The first question is what's the best piece of wisdom

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Speaker 6: or advice you've ever received?

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Speaker 2: I think questioning whether or not something really matters, like

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Speaker 2: in the grand scheme of things, does this really matter?

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Speaker 5: I can't remember her name right now. I hate it.

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Speaker 2: She wrote the book Quiet, She's got another book that's out,

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Speaker 2: but she basically talks about she thinks about a lot

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Speaker 2: of things in terms of death, like if my child

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Speaker 2: dies right now, if my husband died, if I died,

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Speaker 2: like would this really matter? And that qualifies so much

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Speaker 2: stuff like I be stressed about not going somewhere, and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, but does this really matter?

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Speaker 5: And most things don't really matter? Is that Susan Kin?

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Speaker 2: I want to say, it's Susan k Yeah, it is

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Speaker 2: Susan Kay, Yeah, it is Susan King.

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Speaker 6: It's so powerful. I resonate with that deeply. All Right,

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Speaker 6: I'm gonna pass it over to down for the next question.

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Speaker 3: Okay, So thinking about whether things truly matter?

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Speaker 2: Okay, this podcast it just feels so unsafe.

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Speaker 5: I feel like we went from an ant and t

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Speaker 5: voice to something and I'll go ahead.

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Speaker 7: I'm ready, let's me Okay, okay, so all right, So

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Speaker 7: in the grand scheme of whether or not things truly matter,

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Speaker 7: when your favorite song comes on, which do you choose?

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Speaker 5: Are you gonna twork? Are you gonna to choose stuff?

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Speaker 3: Dang?

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Speaker 2: You know, just because I have this natural reflex that

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Speaker 2: I'm probably more likely to throw something in a circle

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Speaker 2: than i am to two So I'm two steppings not

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Speaker 2: my thing. I can't even shout in church, and so

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Speaker 2: you know, if the beat drops, it's just a reflex,

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Speaker 2: like I may have to pull it back and have

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Speaker 2: to reclaim my power from the reflex. But it is

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Speaker 2: more than likely that a pop is going to happen.

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Speaker 2: But I okay something, depending on where we are and

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Speaker 2: what's happening, I may have to pull it back.

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Speaker 5: You know, we're here ready, They're not ready for it.

439
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:17,679
Speaker 7: You don't have.

440
00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:21,879
Speaker 5: Our final question of the segmentary. We almost don't. We

441
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:25,159
Speaker 5: almost said what is the what is the sexiest item

442
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:25,600
Speaker 5: you own?

443
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:37,800
Speaker 2: Ooh, this is a hard question. I feel like I

444
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:39,960
Speaker 2: don't know if I owe as much as it's owning

445
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 2: something as much as it is like my energy, like

446
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:46,320
Speaker 2: the energy that I have, because I feel like I

447
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:49,840
Speaker 2: could be in anything into the energy and headspace that

448
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,560
Speaker 2: I'm in that really makes the difference. So I don't

449
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:55,119
Speaker 2: know if there's anything one thing in particular that I

450
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:57,440
Speaker 2: put on that makes me feel a certain way, as

451
00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,760
Speaker 2: much as it is like when I have had some

452
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 2: time I'm to myself, I feel all of my womanhood

453
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:06,080
Speaker 2: usually when I'm on vacation and like I don't have

454
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:09,760
Speaker 2: as many responsibilities. There's just there's just a me that

455
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,280
Speaker 2: I don't get to experience that much that I get

456
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 2: to settle into and I feel like she's just the

457
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:15,800
Speaker 2: baddest thing on the planet.

458
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:23,400
Speaker 3: Oh yes, okay, okay, so now for our sentence completion.

459
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:29,119
Speaker 3: One topic or question I wish people asked me about

460
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 3: more often is.

461
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:38,879
Speaker 5: Dang I think I would.

462
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 2: I probably this is what is bad because I probably

463
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:44,919
Speaker 2: wish that I had more conversations like this because I

464
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,280
Speaker 2: feel like it it makes me more of a human

465
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,680
Speaker 2: than just like a constant source of inspiration. But it

466
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:53,240
Speaker 2: also makes me nervous because cancel culture is so real.

467
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:55,760
Speaker 5: So I'm like, I don't, I don't know.

468
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:58,000
Speaker 2: I think things that make me feel more like a person,

469
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,600
Speaker 2: like I feel like I had more opportunity to just

470
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:05,040
Speaker 2: talk about my experiences as a woman as a mother

471
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:09,160
Speaker 2: in a space that feels very like free without pressure

472
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:10,880
Speaker 2: or fear of judgment.

473
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 6: That's a really good point. That was a real answer,

474
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,800
Speaker 6: because oh my gosh, to cancel. Culture's like, wait, do

475
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:19,440
Speaker 6: I say the wrong thing? What are people going to say? Okay,

476
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:21,520
Speaker 6: So the next one we have for you is the

477
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:25,399
Speaker 6: most embarrassing thing I've ever done to get my CRUSH's attention.

478
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:28,200
Speaker 5: Is you can always switch it up whatever you feel

479
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:29,280
Speaker 5: comfortable with. Answer.

480
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,800
Speaker 2: You know, of course I've been married for some time now.

481
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:38,119
Speaker 2: I never really had a problem getting attention from It's like,

482
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:42,120
Speaker 2: you know, I have never really embarrassed myself to get

483
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:44,840
Speaker 2: some attention, but I have embarrassed myself to keep some attention.

484
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 2: I will say that I have. I saw there's a

485
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:51,679
Speaker 2: girl on TikTok. Her name is Morgan, and she you know,

486
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:56,160
Speaker 2: shares about her relationship dynamic. And I saw this girl

487
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:59,000
Speaker 2: given commentary about her life and how people can be

488
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:01,440
Speaker 2: very judging about this young she's like in her twenties

489
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,720
Speaker 2: and she's figuring things out with someone. And this young

490
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 2: girl was like this woman was talking about how like,

491
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:08,760
Speaker 2: don't let me be your model, don't let me be

492
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,919
Speaker 2: your inspiration. Because I have flattened all four tires and

493
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 2: then bought replacement ones because like sometimes love just to

494
00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:17,359
Speaker 2: just have you out here, love or something else, just

495
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 2: be having you out here here, the click don't be clicking.

496
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:23,679
Speaker 2: And so I've definitely done a lot of embarrassing things

497
00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:26,120
Speaker 2: trying to keep up with somebody who I knew wasn't

498
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 2: good for me. So like probably emptying out somebody's apartment

499
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:32,760
Speaker 2: because I paid for the furniture and was like, absolutely not,

500
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 2: I'm gonna empty it out because you have somebody else

501
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,240
Speaker 2: sitting on this couch, and then like a clown, going

502
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:39,639
Speaker 2: to Walmart and getting a futon to replace it with

503
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:41,800
Speaker 2: because I didn't want you sitting on the floor. So

504
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:47,199
Speaker 2: embarrassing things to keep them, not to get them.

505
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:47,840
Speaker 5: But good ones. That's answer.

506
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:52,800
Speaker 3: Yes, I love that, okay, And so our final sentence completion.

507
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,920
Speaker 3: What I love most about myself is.

508
00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:02,160
Speaker 2: What I love about myself are the parts of myself

509
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:05,360
Speaker 2: that very few people see. I love that I have

510
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:08,479
Speaker 2: a very dry sense of humor. I love that the

511
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:12,280
Speaker 2: things that matter to me don't really matter to anyone else,

512
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:16,720
Speaker 2: Like I will spend hours doing my daughter's hair, or

513
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:20,000
Speaker 2: like making bread from scratch or like just being in

514
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 2: my closet organizing things, like I feel like the parts

515
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 2: of me that make me the most special people don't

516
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,280
Speaker 2: really get to see. I am very very comfortable being

517
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:32,080
Speaker 2: by myself and I love when I am in a

518
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:35,640
Speaker 2: safe space at home around things and people that I love.

519
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:40,120
Speaker 2: And yeah, that's probably it. It's not very exciting. People

520
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 2: are like, oh, I wish I could spend a day

521
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:44,160
Speaker 2: with you. IM like you would be so bored because

522
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:45,800
Speaker 2: I am not doing anything.

523
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:48,440
Speaker 5: I was going to ask you, are you an introvert?

524
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,399
Speaker 2: Do you have to like turn on the extrovert to

525
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:54,560
Speaker 2: I'm such an interrogation It helps. It helps me with

526
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:56,440
Speaker 2: Woman Evolved because a lot of people are like, you

527
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:57,840
Speaker 2: feel like my best friend in my head.

528
00:27:57,880 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 5: So when they come up to me, they're like, girl,

529
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:00,400
Speaker 5: are you each a week?

530
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:03,000
Speaker 2: From which I love because like I can do small talk,

531
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:05,640
Speaker 2: I don't the weather. That's all I got for you.

532
00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:08,960
Speaker 2: So Wayman Evolve helps me. But just like in a room,

533
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:12,239
Speaker 2: I would be a wallflower. I'm not someone who like

534
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:14,879
Speaker 2: commands a lot of attention when they walk into a space,

535
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:18,240
Speaker 2: and I'm naturally a little shy. So yeah, I like

536
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:19,200
Speaker 2: being by myself.

537
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:23,080
Speaker 5: Yes, totally understand that. Okay, Sarah.

538
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:24,879
Speaker 6: So we got these photos pulled up now, so we

539
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,240
Speaker 6: want you to choose a number out of one in

540
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 6: three and then we'll continue with this last segment of

541
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:31,840
Speaker 6: Oh you bletch it.

542
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:35,760
Speaker 5: Let's go up the number one, number one.

543
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:36,880
Speaker 4: Oh.

544
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:38,959
Speaker 5: I think you're gonna love this. This is so special.

545
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:40,760
Speaker 6: Okay, So really quick, Sarah, for people who are not

546
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:43,959
Speaker 6: watching the video, if you can describe the photo first

547
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 6: and then give us some contents about the photo. And

548
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 6: I think you're gonna love this. This is a good one. Okay,

549
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:49,760
Speaker 6: get ready here it did.

550
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 2: Oh wow, Oh the stress.

551
00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 5: Okay.

552
00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:01,120
Speaker 2: So this is a picture of my father and I

553
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:06,760
Speaker 2: in my dressing room on September fourteenth, twenty twenty three,

554
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 2: which was the first day of the Woman Evolve conference.

555
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:17,080
Speaker 2: This was the first time that the conference kind of exploded.

556
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:21,360
Speaker 2: We had three thousand women before and we had this

557
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:24,600
Speaker 2: big passion of the baton moment and all my girls

558
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 2: came through to check on me, and we were like

559
00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:30,320
Speaker 2: forty thousand strong at this conference. And I was getting

560
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:33,880
Speaker 2: ready for the evening service and I text my dad,

561
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:36,600
Speaker 2: oh mind you, I have on a wig cat which

562
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:40,200
Speaker 2: you can see my braids and edges peeking through be clear,

563
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 2: and he's kissing the top of my head and I've got.

564
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 5: On a sweatsuitsit in the salon chair.

565
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 2: But I text him just maybe an hour or so before.

566
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 2: And at that time, we had forty thousand people registered

567
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,520
Speaker 2: and I think we had five thousand people checked in,

568
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,200
Speaker 2: which is still a lot of people. But I just

569
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 2: didn't feel like, what if these people aren't coming, which

570
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:05,480
Speaker 2: I probably wouldn't have cared about, but a stadium with

571
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:09,520
Speaker 2: five thousand people can make it feel very small and echoy,

572
00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:11,480
Speaker 2: And so I was like, I don't want it to

573
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:13,680
Speaker 2: feel empty in the room, Like I don't care if

574
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 2: they come, I just don't want to feel empty.

575
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 5: And I text my dad.

576
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:17,560
Speaker 2: I was like, Dad, I don't think they're coming, Like

577
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:20,600
Speaker 2: the numbers aren't showing up, they're not checked in. And

578
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:23,240
Speaker 2: then we got this huge budget that we've taken over,

579
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:27,000
Speaker 2: and so I was stressed, and my daddy came to

580
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 2: my dressing room and full on daddy mode, and he

581
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:33,640
Speaker 2: started praying for me and he told me, at the

582
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:36,600
Speaker 2: end of the day, this started with God, God's going

583
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:39,760
Speaker 2: to complete it, and this is him kissing my head,

584
00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:43,960
Speaker 2: kissing my braids. But what you couldn't see is in

585
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 2: that moment he also just like his hands are about

586
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 2: to touch my shoulder, and he was just like doing

587
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:51,360
Speaker 2: this thing where he was like brushing things off of

588
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:53,360
Speaker 2: my shoulder, like he was getting the weight of the

589
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:56,720
Speaker 2: world off of my shoulders. And this moment was really

590
00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 2: unique because my father's done this before where he's had

591
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:03,280
Speaker 2: a people coming, and so he knew exactly what it

592
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:06,560
Speaker 2: felt like to be doing something by faith, questioning whether

593
00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:08,440
Speaker 2: or not you're the right person who can do it,

594
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:11,800
Speaker 2: wondering whether or not the people would come, whether they'd

595
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:13,600
Speaker 2: be blessed if they came, because it's like, what if

596
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:15,760
Speaker 2: maybe they shouldn't come and we could just go home.

597
00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 2: And I think that is actually what he told me

598
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:19,360
Speaker 2: at the end of the day. He was like, girl,

599
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:21,280
Speaker 2: if nobody comes, I'm gonna put you in my car.

600
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 2: I'm gonna take you home. I'm gonna put you in

601
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 2: the bitch. You're gonna be okay no matter what. So

602
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:29,360
Speaker 2: that moment's really special for me. Oh, thank you, I'm

603
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:31,280
Speaker 2: so glad you chose that well. That was so special

604
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 2: and we appreciate you.

605
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:34,280
Speaker 6: Sarah Vacca with us and playing along for Oh, if

606
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:36,280
Speaker 6: you blatch you, we're gonna dive back into our I

607
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:38,000
Speaker 6: think you said AT and T voyses, We're gonna get

608
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:39,080
Speaker 6: back to the AT and T boys.

609
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 8: Yeah, okay, So, speaking of a Woman Evolved, could you

610
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:54,120
Speaker 8: share with our listeners exactly what Woman Evolved represents and

611
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:58,840
Speaker 8: what it stands for, along with some of the most

612
00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 8: transformative off friends that you and your team have provided

613
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 8: for the community, which y'all affectionately call the delegation.

614
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:11,800
Speaker 5: The delegation. So I started sharing.

615
00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:16,479
Speaker 2: So I started this blog in twoenty ten. I was

616
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:18,640
Speaker 2: I've been this is my second marriage. I was in

617
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:21,400
Speaker 2: my first marriage. We neither one of us were really

618
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 2: good for the other, and I was just trying to undo,

619
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 2: like how did I get in this situation where anger

620
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 2: and rage was like our constant situation? And so I

621
00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:34,160
Speaker 2: just started blogging about it. I wasn't really deep spiritual,

622
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:36,080
Speaker 2: but I was just blogging. And then I'd end each

623
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:38,040
Speaker 2: blog with the prayer, like what would you pray over

624
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:41,600
Speaker 2: someone who wrote something like this? And people started following

625
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:44,000
Speaker 2: me based off of the blog. I didn't get pregnant

626
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,840
Speaker 2: at a time during social media, and so they started

627
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,120
Speaker 2: following me, and they were like being inspired, but I

628
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 2: knew I was a teen mom and growing up and

629
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 2: purity culture as tdj's daughter, Like, I didn't want to

630
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:57,800
Speaker 2: be anybody's inspiration. And so this blog started gaining traction,

631
00:32:57,960 --> 00:32:59,680
Speaker 2: and I was like, I want to release a blog

632
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:02,120
Speaker 2: in based tell everybody that I'm a teen mom so

633
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 2: that they could like fall off, so they can stop

634
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 2: being so inspired by me. And so I would tell this,

635
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:11,600
Speaker 2: you know, like, hey, I was a teen mom. I

636
00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 2: think I told I said it at one of my

637
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 2: dast conferences as well, and what I thought would be

638
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:19,680
Speaker 2: just kind of the end or like people would fall off,

639
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:22,120
Speaker 2: became this thing where people were like, oh my gosh,

640
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:25,360
Speaker 2: like this happened to my mom. I was molested, I

641
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 2: went through divorce, I did this, I did that, And

642
00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, what was just a blog me

643
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 2: pouring my heart out became this safe space where you

644
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:36,920
Speaker 2: could be someone who had gone through stuff and still

645
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:40,360
Speaker 2: wanted to believe that faith was still possible, that God

646
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,680
Speaker 2: still found you fearfully and wonderfully made.

647
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:45,680
Speaker 5: And so it accidentally created community.

648
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:48,040
Speaker 2: At that same time, I started getting invited to play

649
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:49,720
Speaker 2: I'm promising you, I'm gonna get to the point I

650
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 2: started getting invited to places to speak. Most of the

651
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 2: places where I was being invited to speak were predominantly

652
00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:58,920
Speaker 2: white spaces. I wasn't a preacher. I had a little speech.

653
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:01,280
Speaker 2: I would tell my story and say, hey, but I

654
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 2: found out God's grace is real and God still loves you.

655
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:06,160
Speaker 2: But whenever I would post, there were a lot of

656
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:08,840
Speaker 2: black women in my comments, and so I recognize, like

657
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:11,960
Speaker 2: there's a disconnect between where I'm being invited to speak

658
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:14,920
Speaker 2: and who's in my comments. And so I decided, like

659
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:17,400
Speaker 2: I at first, people were like, well, you should just

660
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:19,160
Speaker 2: have your own conference, but I didn't really feel like

661
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:20,960
Speaker 2: me having a conference because I had a baby was

662
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 2: worth having a conference. But then I got this revelation

663
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 2: about Eve and the Bible, who ate from the fruit,

664
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 2: who I had been dragging most of my life. And

665
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,640
Speaker 2: then I was like, she knew better, but then do better.

666
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:34,680
Speaker 2: And you got a whole baby. So like you know

667
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:37,280
Speaker 2: about knowing better and not doing better, and these women

668
00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:39,120
Speaker 2: in the comments knew better but then do better. That's

669
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:41,880
Speaker 2: why they can't forgive themselves. So if you can't forgive Eve,

670
00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:44,600
Speaker 2: maybe you could show other women how they can forgive

671
00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:47,160
Speaker 2: themselves and still be in relationship with God, and so

672
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:50,320
Speaker 2: I knew that Woman Evolved was going to be based

673
00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:52,000
Speaker 2: on this revelation about Eve.

674
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:53,880
Speaker 5: And so I was like, I'm gonna start.

675
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:55,799
Speaker 2: A podcast, I'm gonna start a store, I'm gonna have

676
00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:57,880
Speaker 2: a conference, I'm gonna start a social media channel. And

677
00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:00,640
Speaker 2: I started it all at the same time, and I

678
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 2: was literally answering the info email, I built the website,

679
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:06,840
Speaker 2: I was handling the budget, set up the LLC, like

680
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:09,400
Speaker 2: I was on all of these things, and.

681
00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:11,880
Speaker 5: The women supported me like women.

682
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 2: I mean, I think we had eighteen hundred people our

683
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 2: first conference, which like is a big deal to have

684
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:21,760
Speaker 2: that many people coming to Denver, Colorado. I wasn't preaching

685
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:24,120
Speaker 2: every week like I'm just this girl on social media

686
00:35:24,160 --> 00:35:26,759
Speaker 2: that they're following, and they came to this conference, and

687
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:29,520
Speaker 2: I wanted to create a space where it was safe

688
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:31,160
Speaker 2: enough for you to bring all of who you are.

689
00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:32,960
Speaker 2: I don't need you to pretend like you didn't hear

690
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:36,040
Speaker 2: the new Beyonce album, Like I don't need you coming

691
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 2: in here with your long skirt on, like you are

692
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:40,719
Speaker 2: not outside, Like I just want you to come in

693
00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:43,400
Speaker 2: as you are so that you can have an authentic

694
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:46,440
Speaker 2: real relationship with God. And so one of the things

695
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:49,800
Speaker 2: I'm most proud of that we do are our events.

696
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:51,840
Speaker 2: I think they're very special. If you've never been to

697
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 2: a Woman Evolved event, it's not like a typical women's event.

698
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:58,439
Speaker 2: It's less about who's on the platform, though I'm very

699
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:02,280
Speaker 2: intentional about making sure we have a diverse offering of voices.

700
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:05,040
Speaker 2: What I love the most is how intentional we are

701
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:07,479
Speaker 2: about connecting you with the women who are in the room.

702
00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:09,879
Speaker 2: So it's not uncommon for us to be like, turn

703
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:12,839
Speaker 2: to the woman, besides you hold space for her, look

704
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:15,839
Speaker 2: her in her eye, poor loving to her, speak her name,

705
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:19,359
Speaker 2: and just to be seen in that space like she's

706
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:21,799
Speaker 2: carrying things that she can't even tell you about, but

707
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:23,840
Speaker 2: let her know that she's not in it by herself.

708
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:27,000
Speaker 2: Like those moments are the most powerful parts of women

709
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:30,440
Speaker 2: evolved to me, And from that place of vulnerability, that

710
00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:33,759
Speaker 2: force vulnerability that introverts hate, but then they thank us

711
00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:37,200
Speaker 2: for later, people are able to really have genuine encounters

712
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:39,479
Speaker 2: with God. So when we worship, when I preach the word,

713
00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:41,840
Speaker 2: I'm not having to knock down your walls. At the

714
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:45,319
Speaker 2: same time, because in the context of sisterhood, and community.

715
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:48,120
Speaker 2: We've been able to make you feel seen and safe here.

716
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:50,680
Speaker 2: So I love our events. And then we have so

717
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:54,200
Speaker 2: many offerings that I think people underestimate or undervalue. But

718
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 2: we've got a weekly newsletter offering hope inspiration, We've got

719
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:02,560
Speaker 2: our social media channel is top notch intentionality. Our team

720
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:05,640
Speaker 2: is so intentional about making sure that it's balanced with

721
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:09,439
Speaker 2: practical wisdom, spiritual insights, and just a good key key

722
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:10,399
Speaker 2: every now and then.

723
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:11,920
Speaker 5: We've got the.

724
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:14,640
Speaker 2: Podcast, we have a book club, we have courses just

725
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:17,920
Speaker 2: about any touch point. We've got a subscription on demand

726
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:21,240
Speaker 2: channel that's got everything from financial planning and credit repair,

727
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:25,200
Speaker 2: to how to pick out your therapists, to courses on

728
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:29,719
Speaker 2: marriage and relationships, Bible studies, and so we are very

729
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:32,919
Speaker 2: very intentional about trying to make sure that we are

730
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:35,759
Speaker 2: creating touch points for women. And then I'll say the

731
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:38,759
Speaker 2: last thing that we do is we recognize that, like practically,

732
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:41,799
Speaker 2: women need help evolving. And so we never have an

733
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:44,680
Speaker 2: event or let a season go by in which we

734
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 2: aren't figuring out what is the need, Who's a mother

735
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:50,640
Speaker 2: in need, someone who's going off to college, Christmas, Thanksgiving,

736
00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:53,839
Speaker 2: and how can we financially support them? Or connect them

737
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:56,439
Speaker 2: with organization and tools that help them as well. Black

738
00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:59,360
Speaker 2: Women's Health imperative like we're I mean, we try to

739
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:01,880
Speaker 2: take care of them. We've got a lot of growing

740
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:05,040
Speaker 2: to do, I'm sure in spaces where we could do more,

741
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:07,000
Speaker 2: but I'm really proud of what we've been able to

742
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:07,960
Speaker 2: do in six years.

743
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:11,360
Speaker 5: First of all, that is so incredible. It sounds like

744
00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 5: y'all have been on that journey for twenty years.

745
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 6: One like both with all the stuff that all everything

746
00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:17,040
Speaker 6: that you just shared with us, And you also lit

747
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:19,279
Speaker 6: up so much when you talked about women involved, and

748
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:21,840
Speaker 6: you can tell that's your baby. And I want to

749
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:23,879
Speaker 6: go back to something you shared just a moment ago.

750
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:27,160
Speaker 6: You talked about caring things that others don't know about.

751
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:29,480
Speaker 6: And you've spoken very candidly about the shame that you

752
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:32,560
Speaker 6: experienced being a tea mom having your first child at fourteen,

753
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:35,160
Speaker 6: And I remember when I was younger, I witnessed similar

754
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:39,080
Speaker 6: situations where there were team moms who were often ostracized

755
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:41,799
Speaker 6: by parents and adults, and I believe it led to

756
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:44,040
Speaker 6: isolation for those young girls. So I wanted to ask you,

757
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:46,799
Speaker 6: as both a mother and a woman who experienced teen

758
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:49,759
Speaker 6: motherhood what advice do you offer to like parents and

759
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 6: friends on how to support and show up for teen

760
00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:54,080
Speaker 6: moms where it's not a situation where parents are like,

761
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:56,640
Speaker 6: you can't be her friend? What is the right what

762
00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:58,000
Speaker 6: is the right thing to do in that situation?

763
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:01,600
Speaker 2: From your perspective, I do think it's hard because people

764
00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:04,839
Speaker 2: treat pregnancy like it's contagious. Even grown women be like, ooh,

765
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:06,960
Speaker 2: don't drink the water is something the water. So when

766
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:10,120
Speaker 2: you're a teenager and you get pregnant, I think parents

767
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:13,160
Speaker 2: are afraid that you know that sex is going to

768
00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:16,320
Speaker 2: be contagious and somebody else, this child's going to get pregnant.

769
00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:19,359
Speaker 2: So and that's not even a religious thing, right, so

770
00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:21,359
Speaker 2: we can say like, oh, this just happens in church,

771
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:23,920
Speaker 2: But when you're fourteen years old walking with the baby

772
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:25,719
Speaker 2: on your hip through the grocery store, like you don't

773
00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:27,160
Speaker 2: even have to be a member of the church to

774
00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:30,799
Speaker 2: experience judgment. I will say that the best gift that

775
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:33,759
Speaker 2: you can offer someone who's having that experience is to

776
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 2: really still make them feel worthy and valued. I think

777
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:42,520
Speaker 2: that I received support and that I didn't feel like

778
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:46,720
Speaker 2: I had to maybe raise the baby on my own,

779
00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:49,759
Speaker 2: but I don't know that anyone intentionally told me, like

780
00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:52,759
Speaker 2: you know this isn't ruining your life, like you know

781
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:56,080
Speaker 2: you're still worthy, you know you're still lovable.

782
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:57,719
Speaker 5: I literally just had a revelation.

783
00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:01,200
Speaker 2: Okay, it's so deep, I guess, but I came to

784
00:40:01,239 --> 00:40:03,200
Speaker 2: a point where I was like, I feel like God

785
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:06,640
Speaker 2: loves me in spite of anything that I've done, Like

786
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:08,799
Speaker 2: I feel like God's grace still exists for me.

787
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:10,960
Speaker 5: And maybe I can't explain it.

788
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,319
Speaker 2: Maybe church people don't love me, maybe some other people

789
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:15,879
Speaker 2: may never forgive me, but I found a way where

790
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:17,879
Speaker 2: I feel like God's love met me where I am.

791
00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:20,480
Speaker 2: But I feel like an added layer of healing that

792
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:22,840
Speaker 2: God has been bringing to me is not only.

793
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 5: Do I love you where you are, but you're also lovable.

794
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:28,759
Speaker 2: Like sometimes I think I receive God's love as this

795
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:31,160
Speaker 2: idea of like he loves me even though I'm this,

796
00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:33,480
Speaker 2: even though I'm that, even though I'm broken pieces, he

797
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:35,320
Speaker 2: loves me. But I feel like God's been trying to

798
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:38,319
Speaker 2: show me as of late, but like you're also lovable,

799
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:40,960
Speaker 2: Like you're more than just what happened to you, Like

800
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:43,440
Speaker 2: there's so much beauty in you and part of what

801
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 2: happened to you is what makes you lovable. And so

802
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:49,680
Speaker 2: I think making that person still feel lovable, because it's

803
00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:52,920
Speaker 2: hard to even love yourself, forgive yourself, but to literally

804
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:55,799
Speaker 2: don't just make them feel love, tell them like, you

805
00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:58,520
Speaker 2: know you're still worthy, you know you're still lovable, you

806
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:00,359
Speaker 2: know you're going to be okay, you know you're going

807
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:02,120
Speaker 2: to make it through this. I think people were so

808
00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:04,480
Speaker 2: afraid that I wasn't going to make it that they

809
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:06,040
Speaker 2: wanted me to know how hard it was going to be.

810
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:08,399
Speaker 2: You know it's gonna be hard, you know it's gonna

811
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:10,560
Speaker 2: be difficult, but you got this, and no one made

812
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:12,839
Speaker 2: me feel like I was okay just as I was.

813
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:17,800
Speaker 5: That And that's a word.

814
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:23,680
Speaker 3: I appreciate you sharing that because I think that as

815
00:41:23,719 --> 00:41:26,360
Speaker 3: you're sharing that, there are so many of our listeners

816
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:28,880
Speaker 3: who are going to be able to benefit from that,

817
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:35,640
Speaker 3: whether it's whether they are experiencing team pregnancy themselves or

818
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:39,160
Speaker 3: they're supporting someone with Team pregnancy. But I think that

819
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:43,640
Speaker 3: what you shared is applicable to no matter what someone

820
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:48,160
Speaker 3: might be going through, that no matter who you are,

821
00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:52,200
Speaker 3: how you show up what you've been through, that you

822
00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:55,200
Speaker 3: are lovable, that you are worthy.

823
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:56,839
Speaker 5: And I love that.

824
00:41:57,000 --> 00:42:01,200
Speaker 3: I love that, thank you, And you know, going back

825
00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:04,880
Speaker 3: to your book, I think that you share a lot

826
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:11,359
Speaker 3: of practical tips, and what I appreciate about reading your

827
00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:15,440
Speaker 3: book is that you share so many real life examples

828
00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:22,040
Speaker 3: that you experience to help people really understand how to

829
00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:26,200
Speaker 3: do this work. And so at the end of every

830
00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:30,480
Speaker 3: chapter you have a reflection and you call it flip

831
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:33,959
Speaker 3: the switch, and I love that it's like an opportunity

832
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:39,040
Speaker 3: for folks to put into practice what you just spoke about,

833
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:43,480
Speaker 3: what they just read about in the previous chapter. One

834
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:45,280
Speaker 3: of the things that you talked about, and you've mentioned

835
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:51,439
Speaker 3: it here earlier, is about people pleasing. And I can

836
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:54,279
Speaker 3: say and Terry and I have talked about this on

837
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:58,719
Speaker 3: the podcast, about like being recovering people pleasers, right, that

838
00:42:58,719 --> 00:43:03,080
Speaker 3: that is part of our our journey. And so one

839
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:08,239
Speaker 3: of the things that you said was just know that

840
00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:12,239
Speaker 3: whenever you choose to allow someone to settle on a

841
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:16,520
Speaker 3: false idea of who you are, then you are embracing

842
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 3: an existence that is contingent on inauthenticity. And I'm gonna

843
00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:24,680
Speaker 3: read that one more time for the folks in the back,

844
00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:28,560
Speaker 3: because this is we really got to get into this yeah,

845
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:34,160
Speaker 3: just know that whenever you choose to allow someone to

846
00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:37,759
Speaker 3: settle on a false idea of who you are, then

847
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:46,680
Speaker 3: you are embracing an existence that is contingent on inauthenticity.

848
00:43:47,239 --> 00:43:48,440
Speaker 5: How can we.

849
00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:54,680
Speaker 3: Authentically show up and break free from that trap of

850
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:56,880
Speaker 3: people pleasing because let's got to stop.

851
00:43:57,160 --> 00:43:59,960
Speaker 5: So how do we do it? I think it comes

852
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:01,200
Speaker 5: down to language.

853
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:04,080
Speaker 2: A lot of times, it is hard to pivot because

854
00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:06,560
Speaker 2: I have allowed you to believe this about me for

855
00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:10,719
Speaker 2: so long that it feels unfair for me to then

856
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:14,319
Speaker 2: flip the script on you, but to be able to

857
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:17,160
Speaker 2: say I have allowed you to believe this about me

858
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:20,880
Speaker 2: for so long. But the truth is, when this happens,

859
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 2: it actually makes me feel, you know, uncomfortable. When this happens,

860
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:27,960
Speaker 2: I actually am stretching myself to get it done.

861
00:44:28,239 --> 00:44:30,719
Speaker 5: And I'm not saying this for you. I'm saying it

862
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:32,360
Speaker 5: for me, Like I just want you to know.

863
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:35,799
Speaker 2: I apologize for allowing you to believe that I was

864
00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:38,200
Speaker 2: capable of doing something that I wasn't. It's not fair

865
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:40,880
Speaker 2: to you and it's not fair to me. And so

866
00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:43,359
Speaker 2: over the course of the next few weeks, you may

867
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:47,440
Speaker 2: notice that I am moving differently. You haven't done anything.

868
00:44:47,520 --> 00:44:50,160
Speaker 2: It's just I'm no longer at a space where I

869
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:53,160
Speaker 2: can allow myself to continue to show up in this

870
00:44:53,239 --> 00:44:57,440
Speaker 2: way anymore. And I think language is just so powerful,

871
00:44:57,440 --> 00:44:59,560
Speaker 2: but we don't always have the words, which is why

872
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:02,920
Speaker 2: I want to give people tools and language to say, like,

873
00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:05,239
Speaker 2: you can get out of this, like you do. Not

874
00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:08,040
Speaker 2: just have to accept that because I set this standard,

875
00:45:08,239 --> 00:45:10,719
Speaker 2: even though it's was once true and maybe it's not

876
00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:13,480
Speaker 2: true for me anymore or was never to it all.

877
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:15,359
Speaker 2: That doesn't mean that you just have to pay this

878
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:17,799
Speaker 2: time for the rest of your life, like you get

879
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:21,359
Speaker 2: to say, power moved. Like I used to be able

880
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:24,279
Speaker 2: to do that, I can't do it anymore. And I

881
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:26,400
Speaker 2: hope that in the season that I was able to

882
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:28,880
Speaker 2: do it, that you got everything you needed. And I

883
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:31,359
Speaker 2: trust that if you still need that, God's gonna raise

884
00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:34,080
Speaker 2: up someone else to fulfill that need. But I just

885
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:37,480
Speaker 2: can't do it. And like people who need you to

886
00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:40,600
Speaker 2: be someone you are not are not your people, Like

887
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:44,080
Speaker 2: they're not your people. I need you to be all

888
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:47,040
Speaker 2: of who you are, whoever that is in any given season,

889
00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:50,000
Speaker 2: because I want to grow with you. I want to

890
00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:52,480
Speaker 2: change with you, Like I'm not asking you to stay

891
00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:55,440
Speaker 2: the same forever. I've been married almost ten years. My

892
00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:57,640
Speaker 2: son is twenty one years old. I am not asking

893
00:45:57,680 --> 00:45:59,880
Speaker 2: his twenty one year old self to stay in diapers.

894
00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:01,880
Speaker 5: I am expecting you to change.

895
00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:04,040
Speaker 2: I don't need you to stay the same, but what

896
00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:06,480
Speaker 2: I do need is for you to communicate with me.

897
00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:08,919
Speaker 2: How do I engage with who you are now? Help

898
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:11,600
Speaker 2: introduce me to who you are now? And I think

899
00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:15,759
Speaker 2: that we don't give people enough credit that they can

900
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:18,560
Speaker 2: be flexible, they can be nimble, but we have to

901
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:21,600
Speaker 2: be honest enough to tell them how we're moving and growing,

902
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:23,959
Speaker 2: which is another reason why I didn't want this book

903
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:25,879
Speaker 2: to be like burn every bridge and if they don't

904
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:28,279
Speaker 2: get you, whoop chunk to deuce and be out like

905
00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:31,400
Speaker 2: because it's not that simple, Like I'm married, I got kids,

906
00:46:31,480 --> 00:46:34,279
Speaker 2: I have parents, I have adult siblings. Like, I'm not

907
00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:36,000
Speaker 2: about to just be like y'all get it or you

908
00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:38,319
Speaker 2: don't get lost, Like I want to walk this thing

909
00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:40,920
Speaker 2: out with you. So this is who I am, this

910
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:43,080
Speaker 2: is where I am, this is what you're used to.

911
00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 2: Can you grow with me? And I think from a

912
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:48,919
Speaker 2: real space of humility and honor that most people can

913
00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:51,920
Speaker 2: go with us most people, not everybody, I'll be honest,

914
00:46:52,239 --> 00:46:54,439
Speaker 2: but I do think most people can go with us.

915
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:58,400
Speaker 2: I love that answer because, like you said, it is

916
00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:01,479
Speaker 2: literally a script. Someone can listen to this episode, of course,

917
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:03,239
Speaker 2: read the book and write that down and use it

918
00:47:03,239 --> 00:47:05,640
Speaker 2: in their life. And I think that's also why it's

919
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 2: so important to check in with your relationships, your friendship,

920
00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:10,680
Speaker 2: check in so you can let people know like, this

921
00:47:10,719 --> 00:47:12,520
Speaker 2: is who I am today and this is how it

922
00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:13,360
Speaker 2: like for you to show up.

923
00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:15,279
Speaker 5: So thank you for that and that question of can

924
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:17,360
Speaker 5: you grow with me? So powerful?

925
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:20,000
Speaker 6: Okay, Sarah, We're just gonna let spirit lead right now

926
00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:21,440
Speaker 6: because I have a question I want to ask you.

927
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:24,799
Speaker 6: We were doing our research and ch'all, i'm watching this

928
00:47:24,840 --> 00:47:26,560
Speaker 6: interview with you and your beautiful mother.

929
00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:29,040
Speaker 5: To read it. It was like a Christmas vibe. I

930
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:30,399
Speaker 5: think it was a couple of Christmases ago.

931
00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:31,280
Speaker 7: Girl.

932
00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:33,839
Speaker 5: The first eleven minutes I was crying. I was like what,

933
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:36,040
Speaker 5: I wasn't expecting this, So I hate it. I missed

934
00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 5: so much.

935
00:47:37,719 --> 00:47:41,960
Speaker 2: I know, I don't like to be emotional, like, I'm

936
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:42,440
Speaker 2: working on it.

937
00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:43,840
Speaker 5: I'm in therapy, don't worry about it.

938
00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:46,080
Speaker 2: But I was like, ooh, you just pulled me right

939
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:49,239
Speaker 2: here in front of everyone, okay, like unexpectedly.

940
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:52,360
Speaker 6: It was such a beautiful conversation though, And as someone

941
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:54,760
Speaker 6: Dom and I have talked about mommy issues on our podcast,

942
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:58,359
Speaker 6: and as someone me personally who has navigated the complexities

943
00:47:58,360 --> 00:48:01,840
Speaker 6: of being estranged for my mother and has to you know,

944
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:03,920
Speaker 6: I've had to embark on this journey of healing and

945
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:08,160
Speaker 6: forgiveness without receiving the acknowledgment or the apology or the

946
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:11,240
Speaker 6: type of relationship that I longed for. I am curious

947
00:48:11,239 --> 00:48:14,520
Speaker 6: to understand from your perspective, what is it like to

948
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:18,160
Speaker 6: have a mother who, while not perfect, is emotionally present

949
00:48:18,239 --> 00:48:20,840
Speaker 6: and acknowledges some of the pain. Girl, your mom said something,

950
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:23,120
Speaker 6: you know, I'm about to get emotional now. She had

951
00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:25,400
Speaker 6: looked at you and you had gave her feedback about

952
00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:27,800
Speaker 6: something or you all were discussing something, and she said

953
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:30,360
Speaker 6: I did that, and I was like, oh my gosh,

954
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:32,239
Speaker 6: Like she said it like three times. I think she's

955
00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:35,480
Speaker 6: like I did that, Like she acknowledged, you know. I

956
00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:37,279
Speaker 6: think it was you all moving into Dallas and she

957
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:39,120
Speaker 6: felt like she couldn't she didn't hold you all the

958
00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 6: way that she you know, felt like a mother should

959
00:48:41,320 --> 00:48:42,160
Speaker 6: in retrospective.

960
00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:43,880
Speaker 5: So I just want to know what is it like

961
00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:45,799
Speaker 5: to like feel that from your mama.

962
00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:45,799
Speaker 7: You know.

963
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:48,880
Speaker 5: Okay, So that makes me want to cry too, which gross.

964
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:53,680
Speaker 2: The reason why it wrecked me is because I was talking.

965
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:57,080
Speaker 2: So my husband and I lived in LA for almost

966
00:48:57,600 --> 00:48:59,919
Speaker 2: I lived in LA for eight nine years. He's from there,

967
00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:01,919
Speaker 2: and then we moved back to Dallas, and I felt

968
00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:04,120
Speaker 2: triggered because, like I said in the beginning, like when

969
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:06,640
Speaker 2: we first moved to Dallas, like there was this radical

970
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:09,080
Speaker 2: shift in our lives that was eight years old, the

971
00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:11,839
Speaker 2: same age that my daughter is now. And so part

972
00:49:11,840 --> 00:49:13,560
Speaker 2: of my thing in moving to Dallas was like I

973
00:49:13,640 --> 00:49:16,040
Speaker 2: don't want to lose my family, like not even like

974
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:17,799
Speaker 2: I don't want her to get pregnant, Like I don't

975
00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:22,120
Speaker 2: want to lose my family being whatever it is when

976
00:49:22,160 --> 00:49:24,680
Speaker 2: you like whatever that is, like, I don't want it.

977
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:27,040
Speaker 2: But I'm here and so like and it feels like

978
00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:29,439
Speaker 2: God's called me here, but like God, if the price

979
00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:30,680
Speaker 2: is my family, I don't want it.

980
00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:33,000
Speaker 5: So I was wrestling in that moment.

981
00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:35,440
Speaker 2: I think I'd only been here a couple of months,

982
00:49:36,080 --> 00:49:38,160
Speaker 2: and we had never.

983
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:40,759
Speaker 5: Discussed how.

984
00:49:42,719 --> 00:49:46,080
Speaker 2: We got lost when we moved we'd never discussed that,

985
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:51,680
Speaker 2: and to hear her say that that happened to you.

986
00:49:54,080 --> 00:49:56,960
Speaker 2: Sometimes we do have to forgive without the apologies that

987
00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:01,319
Speaker 2: we deserve, but if we are ever fortunate enough to

988
00:50:01,520 --> 00:50:08,120
Speaker 2: actually hear them, I became a little girl again. I

989
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:11,560
Speaker 2: was seven years old in that chair, and it just

990
00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:16,759
Speaker 2: made me feel like I wasn't crazy to have needed that,

991
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:20,200
Speaker 2: Like I didn't make this story up in my head,

992
00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:22,239
Speaker 2: because that's part Like as much as you want to

993
00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:24,640
Speaker 2: feel like I'm right and justified, like there's a part

994
00:50:24,719 --> 00:50:27,839
Speaker 2: of you that until they say it too, that you

995
00:50:27,880 --> 00:50:31,440
Speaker 2: feel misunderstood, you don't feel seen. And for her to

996
00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:34,920
Speaker 2: say that, it just made me feel like, even at

997
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:39,080
Speaker 2: seven years old, I was right to feel abandoned and

998
00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:42,480
Speaker 2: rejected and lost in this world that was bigger than me.

999
00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:45,279
Speaker 2: And the adult version of me can see like they

1000
00:50:45,280 --> 00:50:47,480
Speaker 2: didn't know what they were doing and it happened overnight,

1001
00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:49,800
Speaker 2: Like I can make the excuses, but it doesn't change

1002
00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:53,520
Speaker 2: the pain. And so it was very healing. It was

1003
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:56,600
Speaker 2: very healing, and it felt like she It felt like

1004
00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:57,880
Speaker 2: both you ripped my heart.

1005
00:50:57,760 --> 00:50:59,840
Speaker 5: Out but kissed it and gave it back to me.

1006
00:51:01,640 --> 00:51:07,040
Speaker 3: Oh, that's a beautiful description. Oh, I love that. I

1007
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:13,960
Speaker 3: love that, Sarah. This interview has been oh my gosh it,

1008
00:51:14,600 --> 00:51:18,880
Speaker 3: it has been inspiring, and it has definitely I know

1009
00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:22,880
Speaker 3: you said you're an introvert it, but it has definitely

1010
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:25,719
Speaker 3: felt like sitting down with a girlfriend over a cup

1011
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:31,439
Speaker 3: of tea, having a heart to heart. And what I

1012
00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:39,000
Speaker 3: love about your journey is that you're continuously evolving and

1013
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:45,759
Speaker 3: you are authentically sharing all parts of your journey with

1014
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:49,800
Speaker 3: all of us, and for that we are immensely grateful.

1015
00:51:50,560 --> 00:51:57,360
Speaker 3: And So when you think about where you come from,

1016
00:51:57,960 --> 00:52:02,279
Speaker 3: where you are now in this present moment, how do

1017
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:10,880
Speaker 3: you envision your life over the next five, ten, twenty years, Like,

1018
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:16,399
Speaker 3: what does Sarah Roberts look like twenty years from now?

1019
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:23,879
Speaker 2: It's really hard to answer that because once I dropped

1020
00:52:23,880 --> 00:52:26,439
Speaker 2: out of college, I was like, my dream job would

1021
00:52:26,480 --> 00:52:30,880
Speaker 2: be to be an administrative assistant, maybe an executive assistant.

1022
00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:35,400
Speaker 2: I really like logistics and organizing and coordinating things. And

1023
00:52:35,480 --> 00:52:38,120
Speaker 2: I got a job as an office manager working for

1024
00:52:38,200 --> 00:52:41,239
Speaker 2: an Air Force contractor, and I thought this is it,

1025
00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:44,480
Speaker 2: Like I did it, and then I got I went

1026
00:52:44,480 --> 00:52:46,640
Speaker 2: through my divorce and I was like, Okay, I just

1027
00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:48,480
Speaker 2: want to buy a house for me and my kids.

1028
00:52:48,520 --> 00:52:50,160
Speaker 2: I moved back home with my family. I'm like, I

1029
00:52:50,160 --> 00:52:52,080
Speaker 2: want to buy a house. I got an FH loan.

1030
00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:55,040
Speaker 2: I got the house, and I'm like, Okay, this is it.

1031
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:58,800
Speaker 2: And every time I get ready to settle for something,

1032
00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:03,680
Speaker 2: God expands my life into something I could have never imagined.

1033
00:53:04,520 --> 00:53:10,319
Speaker 2: So I'm careful to feel entitled to certain outcomes or results.

1034
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:13,520
Speaker 2: This is why I feel like someone else probably deserves

1035
00:53:13,560 --> 00:53:15,520
Speaker 2: this position more than I do, because someone else will

1036
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:17,880
Speaker 2: probably tell you, I hope to own a network and

1037
00:53:17,960 --> 00:53:19,760
Speaker 2: to have you know what I mean, Like, I don't

1038
00:53:20,400 --> 00:53:23,400
Speaker 2: have that. What I hope in twenty years is that

1039
00:53:24,040 --> 00:53:28,919
Speaker 2: my family felt like I prioritized them, that I maintained

1040
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:32,600
Speaker 2: obedience to whatever it is God called me to do,

1041
00:53:32,760 --> 00:53:37,360
Speaker 2: regardless of whether it was a stadium or forty people

1042
00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:39,400
Speaker 2: in a room or four people in a room. I

1043
00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:42,680
Speaker 2: hope I don't get caught up and the idea of

1044
00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:47,319
Speaker 2: like numbers and people in influence. And I pray that

1045
00:53:47,440 --> 00:53:51,480
Speaker 2: anyone who's still connected to my journey feels like, man,

1046
00:53:51,560 --> 00:53:55,280
Speaker 2: she really let God work through her, and she really

1047
00:53:55,400 --> 00:53:57,520
Speaker 2: is just a girl who's doing the best she could.

1048
00:53:57,760 --> 00:53:59,279
Speaker 2: And I don't care what that looks like.

1049
00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:01,360
Speaker 5: I don't. I don't know what it's going to look like.

1050
00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:04,040
Speaker 2: And I am just going to say yes, and I'm

1051
00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:06,880
Speaker 2: going to be a good steward over whatever opportunities in

1052
00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:09,200
Speaker 2: front of me. But I don't know where that's going

1053
00:54:09,239 --> 00:54:13,759
Speaker 2: to land. That is such a grounded answer that I

1054
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:16,319
Speaker 2: feel like future Sarah is going to be like, yes, girl,

1055
00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:17,800
Speaker 2: like she gonna love the fact that you answer the

1056
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:20,319
Speaker 2: question that way. Sarah, we appreciate you so much.

1057
00:54:20,320 --> 00:54:22,560
Speaker 6: Thank you for all that you do, thank you for

1058
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:24,960
Speaker 6: who you are, thank you for what you represent for

1059
00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:27,319
Speaker 6: the community, but most importantly, thank you for just being

1060
00:54:27,400 --> 00:54:30,560
Speaker 6: human and just being yourself. We really appreciate you so much,

1061
00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:32,360
Speaker 6: and it was such a pleasure reading your book. We

1062
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:34,520
Speaker 6: would love for you to let our audience members know,

1063
00:54:34,719 --> 00:54:37,400
Speaker 6: or the delegation know, where can they connect with you,

1064
00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:39,759
Speaker 6: how can they support what next steps would you like

1065
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:40,440
Speaker 6: to lead them to.

1066
00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:44,960
Speaker 2: Well, hey, girl, thank you for your time, Thank you

1067
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:47,400
Speaker 2: for this opportunity. I've been doing a lot of press

1068
00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:49,879
Speaker 2: for this book, but I'm always grateful when I get

1069
00:54:49,880 --> 00:54:53,640
Speaker 2: to be in the presence of incredible black women because

1070
00:54:53,719 --> 00:54:56,879
Speaker 2: I feel like nobody fully understands our journey like us,

1071
00:54:57,239 --> 00:55:01,680
Speaker 2: and so thank you for offering your contribution into our stories,

1072
00:55:02,120 --> 00:55:05,839
Speaker 2: for being representation. We need you, We need your platform,

1073
00:55:05,920 --> 00:55:09,879
Speaker 2: We need your stories, We need your Blatchett and your

1074
00:55:09,960 --> 00:55:13,319
Speaker 2: righteous We need spaces where we can be all of

1075
00:55:13,320 --> 00:55:15,719
Speaker 2: who we are. So thank you for saying yes. And

1076
00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:18,920
Speaker 2: you know, just put me into Google. You know, my

1077
00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:21,640
Speaker 2: website will come up, my Instagram will come up, my

1078
00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:25,080
Speaker 2: Facebook will come up. And if you're curious about coming

1079
00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:28,160
Speaker 2: to a woman Evolve event, you know, come holler at us.

1080
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:32,400
Speaker 2: At us in September. I'm excited about our next conference.

1081
00:55:33,840 --> 00:55:35,040
Speaker 5: Thank you so much. Sarah.

1082
00:55:36,520 --> 00:55:39,359
Speaker 3: Hey lady, it's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her

1083
00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:43,399
Speaker 3: Space podcast. Are you currently a resident of the state

1084
00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:48,879
Speaker 3: of California and contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so,

1085
00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:53,880
Speaker 3: please reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com.

1086
00:55:54,360 --> 00:55:59,200
Speaker 3: That's d R D O M I N I q

1087
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Speaker 3: U E br Oussard dot com to schedule a free

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Speaker 3: fifteen minute consultation. I look forward to hearing from you.

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Speaker 3: Thank you, thanks for joining us today. Please note that

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Speaker 3: our show may contain conversations about self help, advice, self empowerment,

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Speaker 3: and mental health, but is by no means meant to

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Speaker 3: be a substitute for an ongoing formal relationship with a

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00:56:30,360 --> 00:56:34,160
Speaker 3: trained mental health provider. If you are someone you know

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Speaker 3: is in need of mental health care, please visit a

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Speaker 3: Therapy for Black Girls directory Psychology today or contact your

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Speaker 3: insurance provider.

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Speaker 4: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

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Speaker 4: the conversation going, visit our website at herspace podcast dot

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Speaker 4: com and be sure to click the Patreon link to

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Speaker 4: get access to video content, bonuses, and our weekly after show.

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Speaker 5: And before we meet again, repeat after me. The universe

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Speaker 5: is conspiring for my success. I trust the process and

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Speaker 5: surrender to the flow.