WEBVTT - Conversations Are Like Baking Bread w/ John Michael Bond

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<v Speaker 1>Think it's important to say. The reason I'm telling you

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<v Speaker 1>this is because I love you. I don't want those

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<v Speaker 1>secrets from you, and I would rather, in the short term,

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<v Speaker 1>have there be this pain and this disconnect because that pain,

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<v Speaker 1>in this disconnect is a roadway to a broader conversation.

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<v Speaker 1>It's gonna help us both understand each other better.

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<v Speaker 2>You know what. This is a safe space to talk

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<v Speaker 2>about relationships, love and sex. Now, let me tell you

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<v Speaker 2>something messy. So there is a little different messy thing,

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<v Speaker 2>which is that McDonald's has a hash brown mcflurry secret

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<v Speaker 2>menu item that's going viral. Have you heard about this?

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<v Speaker 2>It's like the photo that I'm staring at is disturbing

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<v Speaker 2>and also intriguing. It's two hash browns and in between

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<v Speaker 2>it's like an oreo mcflurry, like like just scooped up

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<v Speaker 2>in the middle of it. And I guess what I'd

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<v Speaker 2>like to say is, will somebody try it for me?

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<v Speaker 2>Because my guts are gurgling looking at this photo. And

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<v Speaker 2>as you famously know me and McDonald's, we do not

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<v Speaker 2>we listen. I love the McDonald's fries. It's one of

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<v Speaker 2>my favorite french fries. Of the McDonald fries but I

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<v Speaker 2>can't fuck with anything McDonald's because it makes my stomach gurgle,

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<v Speaker 2>so I'll never be able to endorse them. But this

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<v Speaker 2>hash brown mcflurry secret menu, I don't know if it's

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<v Speaker 2>just stay a secret or if it like if it

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<v Speaker 2>maybe will slap like what is the feeling of potatoes

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<v Speaker 2>with like ice cream and oreo? Well, I guess it's

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<v Speaker 2>similar to like Wendy's. Y'all ever do the thing? Do

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<v Speaker 2>y'all still do this? I don't know because I haven't

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<v Speaker 2>been in forever. Like Wendy's makes a frosty and then

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<v Speaker 2>you dip it with the French fry. That used to

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<v Speaker 2>be a vibe. I would only do with the chocolate frosty.

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<v Speaker 2>And I'm not even a chocolate gurly, but the Wendy's

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<v Speaker 2>chocolate frosty I could fuck with a little bit more

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<v Speaker 2>than just a regular chocolate. But I've never thought about

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<v Speaker 2>like these hash browns. Y'all know the McDonald's hash browns.

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<v Speaker 2>They're thick, and I can't imagine that a sandwich because

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<v Speaker 2>they hash browns are also breakfast. So for you to

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<v Speaker 2>start your morning with two hash browns wedged with some

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<v Speaker 2>mcflurry in between ice cream. That's a crazy breakfast, but

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<v Speaker 2>it also might be a perfect breakfast. I can't tell

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<v Speaker 2>if I like this or I hate this, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>can I also say this? I don't know if they

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<v Speaker 2>still make it. Y'all have to tell me. McDonald's makes

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<v Speaker 2>some of the best Mozzarelli sticks. There was this one

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<v Speaker 2>McDonald's downtown. Maybe I've told you about this because I

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<v Speaker 2>love it so much, Downtown New York because I used

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<v Speaker 2>to live in when I was going to the dorms,

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<v Speaker 2>lived in the dorms a water street, and so after

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<v Speaker 2>a late night we would go me and my room

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<v Speaker 2>would go to McDonald's and they were the only McDonald's

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<v Speaker 2>that I knew that had the mozzarella sticks. And they

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<v Speaker 2>were tiny. They were like they were like little chodes,

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<v Speaker 2>so they were like shortened fat baby them. Monzareli sticks

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<v Speaker 2>would hit some McDonald's do. I don't know if they

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<v Speaker 2>still do this, because again I haven't been forever. Would

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<v Speaker 2>have like like vegetarian menu options, like they had a

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<v Speaker 2>garden burger, the mcgarden. Am I making this up? They

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<v Speaker 2>had a mcgarden burger, I think, which if I remember correctly,

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<v Speaker 2>also slapt because there was a period in my life

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<v Speaker 2>where I was a vegetarian. It was from ages like

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<v Speaker 2>eight to like eleven or something. But my doctor said

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<v Speaker 2>I had to eat meat because I wasn't getting a

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<v Speaker 2>protein intake. Because it turns out I'm giving too much

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<v Speaker 2>information for here, it is I'm allergic to beans, soy

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<v Speaker 2>and seafood. So just like the vegetarian thing wasn't working

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<v Speaker 2>for me. Uh and I would not be my six

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<v Speaker 2>one self if my doctor hadn't stuffed done. I guess

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know, But back to this, what is this opening?

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<v Speaker 2>But I just, I just I want you to look

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<v Speaker 2>up the McDonald's hash brown mcflurry and tell me if

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<v Speaker 2>you think that this is something that you would try.

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<v Speaker 2>Is it appealing or is it just straight up nasty?

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<v Speaker 2>It might be so nasty that it's appealing. Do you

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<v Speaker 2>know what I'm talking about? Do you know when things

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<v Speaker 2>look just so nasty that you're like, but it actually

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<v Speaker 2>is tasty. I'm coming up short on what I'm what

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<v Speaker 2>what examples of that are? Oh you know what it

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<v Speaker 2>might be. It's not for me. But my grandmother used

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<v Speaker 2>to love a fish head, and I've heard that fish

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<v Speaker 2>head is delicious, you know, even with the eyeballs, they'd

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<v Speaker 2>be like sucking like. People love that shit, right, It's

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<v Speaker 2>very cultural. You know, I'm Caribbean and they used to

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<v Speaker 2>love it. To me as an American born, I looked

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<v Speaker 2>at it and said, that's crazy grammar. You can't eat

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<v Speaker 2>nemo like that, that's insane. But she loved it, and

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<v Speaker 2>people love it. It's a delicacy.

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<v Speaker 3>So I'm not.

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<v Speaker 2>Comparing fish head to McDonald's hash brown because at least,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, a fish head feels like it's real food.

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<v Speaker 2>These hash browns with the macflurry. Now, it's going on

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<v Speaker 2>for too long, but I stay with me. Stay with me,

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<v Speaker 2>and we'll get into the show. Do they call it

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<v Speaker 2>a macflurry because they can't legally call it ice cream?

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<v Speaker 2>I have questions because what is the mcflurry if not?

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<v Speaker 2>I like, like a frosty, it's frosty. It's not ice cream, right,

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<v Speaker 2>it's just a frosty. Is it mcflurry not ice cream?

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<v Speaker 2>But it's just it's like, legally they can't call it

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<v Speaker 2>ice cream because it doesn't have ice cream products in it.

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<v Speaker 2>Or is it just their fancy name for it? Because

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<v Speaker 2>as I'm talking about this and I'm looking at this photo.

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<v Speaker 2>I really want to go to the bathroom like I

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<v Speaker 2>can feel a booboo coming. Okay, I'm so sorry. By

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<v Speaker 2>the way, welcome to the show. This is tell me something.

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<v Speaker 2>See that was an unhinged, messy opening. I am your host,

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<v Speaker 2>Brandon cah Goodmans. Some people call me messy mom, but

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<v Speaker 2>you could call me mcmom Oh, come on, mcmommy. That's crazy.

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<v Speaker 2>Please don't call me that, although that would be a

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<v Speaker 2>cool you know Rick, Rona McDonald and mcmommy. Wow, Wow, listen.

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<v Speaker 2>I may not be able to endorse McDonald's, but that

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<v Speaker 2>would be a dope if I could, that would be

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<v Speaker 2>a dope endorsement. Me meet mcmommy and Ronald McDonald together.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't sorry, I can't date no clowns. I have though.

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<v Speaker 2>Shout out to the clowns up dated who may listen

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<v Speaker 2>to this podcast. I'm so sorry. Actually, before even bring

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<v Speaker 2>the bell, we did a little research. Vincent, my producer,

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<v Speaker 2>did a little research. It turns out that a mcflurry

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<v Speaker 2>soft serve. Okay, so like I scream truck vibes work,

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<v Speaker 2>but a frosty baby they just said it's a dairy product. Hey,

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<v Speaker 2>that makes meur is what you mean? It's just a

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<v Speaker 2>dairy product. Tell me more. So, all I'm saying is

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<v Speaker 2>in the ice cream doesn't mean that dipping fries and

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<v Speaker 2>it doesn't still slap. But this I'm sorry, I'm still

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<v Speaker 2>looking at this hashbrow. It looks y'all google McDonald's hashbrow

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<v Speaker 2>mcflury secret menu item. Okay, and then you tell me

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<v Speaker 2>does it look even with the oriole I don't mean

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<v Speaker 2>to be too graphic, but the picture is like an

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<v Speaker 2>oreo mcflurry and the oreo bits is looking like what

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<v Speaker 2>will be in your toilet. Okay, that's all I'm saying.

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<v Speaker 2>That's all I'm saying.

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<v Speaker 3>It looks like how you're it just okay?

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<v Speaker 2>Now ring the bell? Now, ring the bell? Maybe you

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<v Speaker 2>know what that means. It is time for our guess

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<v Speaker 2>Now while they get situated and before we get our

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<v Speaker 2>MESSI Kiki started, let me remind you that we are

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<v Speaker 2>trying to get to two hundred and sixty ratings and

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<v Speaker 2>reviews by the end of the month. So jimmy favor

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<v Speaker 2>and rate review and subscribe to this podcast wherever you

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<v Speaker 2>get your podcast. It really helps the show. And you know,

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<v Speaker 2>when you write your review it don't have to be long.

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<v Speaker 2>It could just be I love the show, I love

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<v Speaker 2>Brandon MESSI his life, whatever it is, and give us

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<v Speaker 2>this five star review. Honey, Okay, it really really really

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<v Speaker 2>does help the show out. Okay. Now for our home manifesto,

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<v Speaker 2>Grant me the serendity to unpack my shame, the courage

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<v Speaker 2>to heal, the wisdom to know that sex is not

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<v Speaker 2>about penetration, the audacity to advocate for my pleasure and boundaries.

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<v Speaker 2>The strength to not call my ex that fuck boy,

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<v Speaker 2>fuck girl, or fuck they. For it is better to

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<v Speaker 2>masturbabe by myself in peace than to let someone play

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<v Speaker 2>in my motherfucking face. Let the hommunity say ho helujah.

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<v Speaker 2>I am so excited to have John Michael Bond on

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<v Speaker 2>the show. Originally from Chattanooga, Tennessee, John Michael Bond is

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<v Speaker 2>a comedian, writer, and photographer who specializes in finding light

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<v Speaker 2>in dark times. His first album, in Special Cry Uncle,

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<v Speaker 2>was released in twenty twenty four, hitting the top of

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<v Speaker 2>the iTunes charts and getting sixty thousand views in its

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<v Speaker 2>first month. He's featured for Sam Talent, Brandy Posey, Louis Kats,

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<v Speaker 2>Kate Willett, and Doug Stanhope. Bond is also the former

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<v Speaker 2>co host of the Who's Your God podcast alongside Amy

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<v Speaker 2>Miller and Steve hernandez y'all please help me. Welcome to

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<v Speaker 2>the show, John Michael, Well Bond, Hi, John Michael, Hello,

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<v Speaker 2>thank you so much for having welcome to the show.

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<v Speaker 3>That you're here.

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<v Speaker 2>This is a real, real, absolute treat. So listen. It's

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<v Speaker 2>always a treat to be talking about nasty things.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, for me, it's just a nice pay and

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<v Speaker 1>change the pace because I usually get like people are like,

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<v Speaker 1>can you talk about a movie on my podcast? Oh?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah? And I'm like, yeah, I visibly can talk about it.

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<v Speaker 3>Like you look at me.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, what's your movie? Do you talk about?

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<v Speaker 3>You've got I usually go with that thing you do.

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<v Speaker 2>Wait, that thing you do.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a Tom Hanks movie about like a nineteen sixties

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<v Speaker 1>rock band that like blows up.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh one song and you will love it.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, that thing you do.

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<v Speaker 3>Absolutely one of the most wonderful romantic comedies ever.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god. My choice is always sister Ic Too obviously,

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<v Speaker 2>oh incredible or First Wives Club. I love to talk

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<v Speaker 2>about this two movies a lot. I recently was asked

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<v Speaker 2>to talk about Legally Blonde, which was very exciting to

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<v Speaker 2>revisit that movie, which I think they're making a TV show. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>that's why I'm.

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<v Speaker 3>It's like a prequel.

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<v Speaker 2>I could be lying, but I'm pretty sure it could

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<v Speaker 2>be fully lying, but I'm pretty sure they are. Hold on,

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<v Speaker 2>before we get started, here are our messy mandates. Things

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<v Speaker 2>get to be unprocessed. Any thoughts or opinion shared have

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<v Speaker 2>the right to evolve, shift or change today, tomorrow, ten

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<v Speaker 2>years from now. And if during the kiki something feels

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<v Speaker 2>too personal or unintentionally offends, we use the safe for foosball,

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<v Speaker 2>which gives us a chance to pause and address or

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<v Speaker 2>pivot accordingly.

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<v Speaker 3>Okayod I absolutely agreed all that.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, gorgeous. Okay. Shall we start with a lou breaker

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<v Speaker 2>love it. We're gonna play a game of smash or pass. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>I'll give you a prompt. You'll tell me if you'll

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<v Speaker 2>smash it or your pass. Okay, Okay, I'm gonna start

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<v Speaker 2>very easy. Smash your pass, Sex on the beach, not

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<v Speaker 2>to drink the actual thing.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, pass pass.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's foreplay on the beach. Absolutely, head on the beach

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<v Speaker 1>incredible for either person, It's not. It depends I think that,

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<v Speaker 1>like I think head on the beach is better if

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<v Speaker 1>you have a dog, if you're if you're working with

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<v Speaker 1>the vagina.

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<v Speaker 3>I think that that just there's just too much.

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<v Speaker 2>There's a lot of you don't I.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't think anyone wants texture and oral like that's not

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<v Speaker 1>there's a reason we say no teeth. And then the ocean,

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<v Speaker 1>like the beach is just a million teeth all looking

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<v Speaker 1>to cling, you know, and it's so good. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>And also just like I mean, I I yeah, you've

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<v Speaker 3>got yeah, So.

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<v Speaker 2>Why does that work? Because are you under a towel?

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<v Speaker 1>Like?

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<v Speaker 2>Or is it a beach where that is allowed?

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, I don't think there's a beach where it's allowed,

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<v Speaker 3>but there are I need to be. I'm not.

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<v Speaker 1>I've not been invited to the cool beach, but I've

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<v Speaker 1>I grew up at the South where your parents were

0:10:53.480 --> 0:10:55.560
<v Speaker 1>always home, so if you wanted to to screw around,

0:10:56.000 --> 0:10:58.000
<v Speaker 1>you were doing it in a car by the lake.

0:10:59.559 --> 0:11:02.000
<v Speaker 1>A certain point, you just learned that if no one's around,

0:11:02.160 --> 0:11:05.199
<v Speaker 1>that's permission, you know, Like did I smoke pot behind

0:11:05.240 --> 0:11:05.720
<v Speaker 1>my school?

0:11:05.800 --> 0:11:06.360
<v Speaker 3>Did you see me?

0:11:06.520 --> 0:11:06.559
<v Speaker 2>No?

0:11:06.679 --> 0:11:10.720
<v Speaker 3>I didn't. The same is true for head on the Beach.

0:11:11.320 --> 0:11:14.880
<v Speaker 2>Logic, logic, Yeah, yeah, work. Okay, somebody's putting it on

0:11:14.920 --> 0:11:17.880
<v Speaker 2>a T shirt. Okay, So sex on the beach, we're smashed.

0:11:17.920 --> 0:11:20.920
<v Speaker 2>We're not smashing head on the beach. Okay. I'm gonna

0:11:20.920 --> 0:11:23.880
<v Speaker 2>also pass on sex on the beach because it's just

0:11:23.960 --> 0:11:25.880
<v Speaker 2>too much. I don't love elements like that. There are

0:11:25.880 --> 0:11:27.640
<v Speaker 2>too many elements. But I do love a makeout on

0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:30.000
<v Speaker 2>the beach. It's the best, the best of the beach.

0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:31.839
<v Speaker 3>So like you're you're you're making out, you're close to

0:11:31.920 --> 0:11:34.320
<v Speaker 3>the water. The tide comes in, it splashes, you.

0:11:34.360 --> 0:11:36.280
<v Speaker 2>Know, you get that little mermaid when that when this,

0:11:36.440 --> 0:11:40.199
<v Speaker 2>when the water comes up behind the cliffs. Absolutely incredible,

0:11:41.320 --> 0:11:43.199
<v Speaker 2>smasher pass being dombed.

0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:47.240
<v Speaker 1>Oh smash absolutely yeah. Oh that's the best thing in

0:11:47.280 --> 0:11:52.160
<v Speaker 1>the entire I'm on five eleven, which is uh. A

0:11:52.200 --> 0:11:54.319
<v Speaker 1>lot of people think five eleven is not tall. Five

0:11:54.400 --> 0:11:56.320
<v Speaker 1>eleven is very tall if you're attracted to people who

0:11:56.320 --> 0:11:59.600
<v Speaker 1>are five six and blow so just be around shorties.

0:11:59.679 --> 0:11:59.839
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:12:01.000 --> 0:12:03.160
<v Speaker 3>But like I'm a big burly dude.

0:12:03.240 --> 0:12:05.719
<v Speaker 1>I grew up very Baptist in the South, and my

0:12:05.960 --> 0:12:08.440
<v Speaker 1>entire life I've been asked very much to be protected

0:12:08.960 --> 0:12:12.400
<v Speaker 1>or like protector, to like walk people to their car. True,

0:12:13.120 --> 0:12:14.560
<v Speaker 1>be the bigger man is the thing that you hear

0:12:14.640 --> 0:12:16.920
<v Speaker 1>a lot, and like there aren't a lot of opportunities

0:12:16.960 --> 0:12:19.760
<v Speaker 1>where you get to be small, and like being in

0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:21.679
<v Speaker 1>a place where you're safe enough and free enough to

0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:24.120
<v Speaker 1>just be little is the fucking hottest thing in the

0:12:24.240 --> 0:12:24.840
<v Speaker 1>entire universe.

0:12:25.480 --> 0:12:25.599
<v Speaker 2>You know.

0:12:25.840 --> 0:12:28.959
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, downside of it, most people don't know how to spank,

0:12:29.120 --> 0:12:31.560
<v Speaker 1>and see, well, what is the right way to spank?

0:12:31.600 --> 0:12:32.839
<v Speaker 2>Do you think? Do you know?

0:12:33.160 --> 0:12:37.000
<v Speaker 1>It's practice? You know, it's like, uh, it's it's like

0:12:37.280 --> 0:12:38.480
<v Speaker 1>clapping on rhythm to a song.

0:12:38.559 --> 0:12:39.160
<v Speaker 3>You have to learn.

0:12:39.360 --> 0:12:42.160
<v Speaker 1>And sometimes the first time you go for a spank,

0:12:42.720 --> 0:12:44.959
<v Speaker 1>h I think we've all experienced it where you just

0:12:45.080 --> 0:12:45.600
<v Speaker 1>hit someone.

0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:47.200
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, there's a difference.

0:12:47.360 --> 0:12:51.520
<v Speaker 2>You hit the bone too, Yeah, you don't hit the meat.

0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:53.400
<v Speaker 3>You got to come in a slight angle. You gotta

0:12:53.480 --> 0:12:53.920
<v Speaker 3>leave some air.

0:12:54.120 --> 0:12:57.199
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Like it's you know, a flat handing it.

0:12:57.320 --> 0:12:59.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm a flat hander. Yeah, but I also have like

0:12:59.720 --> 0:13:01.480
<v Speaker 1>a I had a little intention in my palms, so

0:13:01.760 --> 0:13:02.439
<v Speaker 1>like there's.

0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:04.079
<v Speaker 2>A little there's a little cup, yeah, natural cup.

0:13:04.120 --> 0:13:06.079
<v Speaker 3>And then God gave me a little curve, so come on,

0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:06.400
<v Speaker 3>thank you.

0:13:06.520 --> 0:13:12.280
<v Speaker 2>Got I got to praise him as absolutely I agree.

0:13:12.360 --> 0:13:15.439
<v Speaker 2>I love being dumbed because I'm six' one and so

0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:19.640
<v Speaker 2>always usually got to be the, bigger you, know, person

0:13:20.160 --> 0:13:22.439
<v Speaker 2>and SO i really like when somebody wants to just

0:13:22.760 --> 0:13:24.120
<v Speaker 2>tell me what to do and put the. PLACE i

0:13:24.160 --> 0:13:26.160
<v Speaker 2>think also just like in, life you, know you're a,

0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:29.160
<v Speaker 2>comedian you're like your business is run by, you and

0:13:29.240 --> 0:13:31.320
<v Speaker 2>so a lot you're in charge a, lot And i'm

0:13:31.360 --> 0:13:32.959
<v Speaker 2>in charge a, lot and SO i love WHEN i

0:13:33.040 --> 0:13:35.400
<v Speaker 2>don't have to be in. Charge it's the it's the.

0:13:35.480 --> 0:13:37.880
<v Speaker 1>Hottest well THEN i also like been in a long

0:13:37.960 --> 0:13:40.520
<v Speaker 1>term relationship AND i had more experience going in so

0:13:40.720 --> 0:13:42.439
<v Speaker 1>like for a lot of, IT i was very much, like,

0:13:42.840 --> 0:13:45.040
<v Speaker 1>hey this is how we let's talk through, this let's

0:13:45.080 --> 0:13:46.679
<v Speaker 1>read this, book let's do this. Guy AND i was

0:13:46.760 --> 0:13:48.640
<v Speaker 1>like very much a leader in. It and being in

0:13:48.640 --> 0:13:50.360
<v Speaker 1>a place WHERE i didn't have to do that was just,

0:13:50.440 --> 0:13:53.079
<v Speaker 1>like oh my, god this is, heaven absolutely the, best

0:13:53.120 --> 0:13:54.839
<v Speaker 1>and like it was it was the first TIME i.

0:13:54.920 --> 0:13:56.720
<v Speaker 1>Did my wife never downed, me uh.

0:13:56.880 --> 0:13:58.600
<v Speaker 3>Did she had no fucking idea what she was, doing

0:13:58.760 --> 0:13:59.679
<v Speaker 3>and it hurt so.

0:13:59.800 --> 0:14:02.880
<v Speaker 1>Bad but also it was kind of like there's something

0:14:03.000 --> 0:14:08.439
<v Speaker 1>romantic about watching someone enthusiastically do something, poorly and you,

0:14:08.520 --> 0:14:11.200
<v Speaker 1>know and like they, learn they, learn and then you're they're,

0:14:11.240 --> 0:14:13.079
<v Speaker 1>like wait a, minute why are you supposed to have

0:14:13.120 --> 0:14:14.000
<v Speaker 1>crop marks on you like?

0:14:14.080 --> 0:14:15.199
<v Speaker 3>That And you're, like, no, No i'm.

0:14:15.200 --> 0:14:16.280
<v Speaker 2>Not but we're exploring.

0:14:16.360 --> 0:14:18.839
<v Speaker 1>Together but now there's a visual cue of when to,

0:14:18.880 --> 0:14:22.360
<v Speaker 1>stop And i'm. Not you, KNOW i could take it,

0:14:22.400 --> 0:14:24.280
<v Speaker 1>whatever let's go break me.

0:14:24.360 --> 0:14:25.040
<v Speaker 3>DOWN i love.

0:14:25.080 --> 0:14:28.680
<v Speaker 2>IT i love. It, okay smash your pass ballplay.

0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:34.600
<v Speaker 1>Ballplay, absolutely, smash, yes but it requires so much. CONSIDERATION

0:14:34.720 --> 0:14:38.760
<v Speaker 1>i want to know an advance ALMOST i. Don't i've

0:14:38.800 --> 0:14:39.480
<v Speaker 1>never how DO i?

0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:42.440
<v Speaker 3>Say ballplay doesn't come up enough in a boring.

0:14:42.560 --> 0:14:46.280
<v Speaker 1>Day so like the time someone wants to play with your,

0:14:46.280 --> 0:14:48.240
<v Speaker 1>balls you've been, dancing you've been, out And i'm just,

0:14:48.360 --> 0:14:50.520
<v Speaker 1>like CAN i have ten minutes with some wet wipes or?

0:14:50.560 --> 0:14:51.400
<v Speaker 2>Something, YEAH i JUST i.

0:14:51.440 --> 0:14:53.040
<v Speaker 3>DON'T i want to present a fresh.

0:14:52.800 --> 0:14:57.280
<v Speaker 2>Ball you, Know I'M i like a musky, ball not

0:14:57.400 --> 0:15:00.840
<v Speaker 2>a musty yeah key musky. Ball yeah. Yeah SO i

0:15:00.960 --> 0:15:02.600
<v Speaker 2>like a. DANCE i like a ball that's been in

0:15:02.760 --> 0:15:04.480
<v Speaker 2>some underwear. Dancing, absolutely you.

0:15:04.520 --> 0:15:09.360
<v Speaker 3>Don't want like a ball that's been to the office. Already, no, no, no, yeah, no,

0:15:09.480 --> 0:15:11.320
<v Speaker 3>no you want to date the dance floor fresh and. Clean,

0:15:11.440 --> 0:15:13.880
<v Speaker 3>yes and then you want yeah, no absolutely.

0:15:13.400 --> 0:15:16.240
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, agreed agreed that before you went, out you've been

0:15:16.280 --> 0:15:17.600
<v Speaker 2>out all, day then you went to the dance. WORD

0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:18.080
<v Speaker 2>i don't want those.

0:15:18.120 --> 0:15:20.880
<v Speaker 3>Balls, yeah that's a very. Important, yeah, yeah there's a

0:15:21.600 --> 0:15:22.040
<v Speaker 3>this is very.

0:15:22.080 --> 0:15:24.840
<v Speaker 1>Gross BUT i think the rule for me technically would

0:15:24.840 --> 0:15:28.120
<v Speaker 1>be IF i have farted at least once SINCE i

0:15:28.240 --> 0:15:28.680
<v Speaker 1>got out of the.

0:15:28.760 --> 0:15:30.920
<v Speaker 3>Shower, YEAH i don't want to share those balls with.

0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:31.520
<v Speaker 2>YOU i love.

0:15:31.600 --> 0:15:32.680
<v Speaker 3>THAT i think it's just a.

0:15:32.880 --> 0:15:34.720
<v Speaker 2>Consideration that's.

0:15:34.840 --> 0:15:37.240
<v Speaker 1>Consideration think about like you, know if you're, bottoming you

0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:39.000
<v Speaker 1>think about your, diet you think about the things that you,

0:15:39.080 --> 0:15:41.880
<v Speaker 1>consume and like part of that is goes into like

0:15:42.000 --> 0:15:42.840
<v Speaker 1>whether you're going to do ball.

0:15:42.920 --> 0:15:45.800
<v Speaker 3>Stuff you're, like all, right it WAS i considerate enough

0:15:45.840 --> 0:15:48.880
<v Speaker 3>today to ask you to do? That DID i? Groom

0:15:49.040 --> 0:15:52.280
<v Speaker 3>are you going to halfway through throw up because you've

0:15:52.280 --> 0:15:53.240
<v Speaker 3>got a hair stuck in your?

0:15:53.280 --> 0:15:56.160
<v Speaker 1>Throat and like we've all been, There but does it

0:15:56.560 --> 0:15:58.360
<v Speaker 1>is it harder to keep the romance in that moment

0:15:58.960 --> 0:15:59.400
<v Speaker 1>just a tiny?

0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:02.400
<v Speaker 3>Bit so, like HAVE i been considered enough to deserve the?

0:16:02.440 --> 0:16:06.320
<v Speaker 2>Balls? Yes but in your most divine, situation absolutely. SMASHED

0:16:07.160 --> 0:16:10.120
<v Speaker 2>i would smash. Too it's new to. ME i remember

0:16:10.320 --> 0:16:12.080
<v Speaker 2>years AGO i was in a steam room and somebody

0:16:12.160 --> 0:16:13.760
<v Speaker 2>was sucking my dick and then he tapped my balls

0:16:14.200 --> 0:16:16.880
<v Speaker 2>and it was the most interesting sensation BECAUSE i was,

0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:19.000
<v Speaker 2>LIKE i thought it was supposed to be more painful

0:16:19.040 --> 0:16:20.960
<v Speaker 2>BECAUSE i missed the, balls but it was actually quite.

0:16:21.040 --> 0:16:24.240
<v Speaker 2>Pleasurable the pain of it was slightly. Pleasurable was it

0:16:24.320 --> 0:16:25.280
<v Speaker 2>a side or a?

0:16:25.360 --> 0:16:27.800
<v Speaker 3>Bottom it was a bottoms yeah.

0:16:28.160 --> 0:16:30.320
<v Speaker 2>Aside oh, yeah that's. Interesting, yeah that feels like it'd

0:16:30.360 --> 0:16:33.880
<v Speaker 2>be a little more, tender but the underneath very delicious

0:16:34.200 --> 0:16:36.520
<v Speaker 2>and son, recently my partner AND i have started to

0:16:37.400 --> 0:16:41.120
<v Speaker 2>play with, that like, pulling, tugging, tapping and it's been.

0:16:41.360 --> 0:16:44.200
<v Speaker 2>Lovely i'm really gonna smell.

0:16:44.280 --> 0:16:46.680
<v Speaker 1>IT i, mean, LIKE i think part of it depends

0:16:46.720 --> 0:16:49.920
<v Speaker 1>on your partner's ability to uh like pat their stomach

0:16:50.000 --> 0:16:52.160
<v Speaker 1>and their head at the same. Time, yes like it's

0:16:52.360 --> 0:16:55.880
<v Speaker 1>there's A i don't feel like everyone has ambidextrays in

0:16:55.880 --> 0:16:58.200
<v Speaker 1>the same. Way AND i think that sometimes people are

0:16:58.200 --> 0:17:00.280
<v Speaker 1>stressed about it because they're, like, Well i'm gonna forget

0:17:00.320 --> 0:17:02.800
<v Speaker 1>to stroke If i'm pulling, down or like it's it's

0:17:02.840 --> 0:17:04.280
<v Speaker 1>like playing bop it and you just don't want to

0:17:04.400 --> 0:17:04.800
<v Speaker 1>hit it on the.

0:17:04.880 --> 0:17:10.159
<v Speaker 3>Head you know you hear the? Buzzer, yeah, yeah you

0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:10.840
<v Speaker 3>don't want to heard him.

0:17:10.840 --> 0:17:13.080
<v Speaker 2>Accidentally, yeah, yeah you gotta Be, yeah you gotta be

0:17:13.160 --> 0:17:16.000
<v Speaker 2>gentle it robbe some, communication yeah for. Sure well you

0:17:16.000 --> 0:17:16.639
<v Speaker 2>won the, game by the.

0:17:16.640 --> 0:17:17.960
<v Speaker 3>Way oh hell, yeah yeah.

0:17:17.800 --> 0:17:19.879
<v Speaker 2>You already you are going you, know you, know you,

0:17:20.080 --> 0:17:25.080
<v Speaker 2>know bring my unconditional. Love. Yeah if you have messy,

0:17:25.119 --> 0:17:27.520
<v Speaker 2>prompts you can email tell me something messy at gmail dot.

0:17:27.640 --> 0:17:30.560
<v Speaker 2>Com speaking of, Which John, michael can you tell me something? Messy?

0:17:31.000 --> 0:17:36.280
<v Speaker 1>Uh, YEAH i racked my brain, because, uh, MESSINESS i

0:17:36.320 --> 0:17:37.280
<v Speaker 1>think takes many different.

0:17:37.359 --> 0:17:38.280
<v Speaker 3>Forms for.

0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:40.760
<v Speaker 1>ME a lot of it was just being like sad in,

0:17:40.840 --> 0:17:50.040
<v Speaker 1>public and that's no. Good my wife AND i have

0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:51.840
<v Speaker 1>been together for twenty two, years and when we moved

0:17:51.880 --> 0:17:54.000
<v Speaker 1>To la it was the first time we lived in

0:17:54.080 --> 0:17:55.520
<v Speaker 1>a city where everyone didn't know.

0:17:55.640 --> 0:17:57.240
<v Speaker 2>Us which is so.

0:17:57.440 --> 0:17:59.880
<v Speaker 1>Nice you grow up in The, south grew up a very, small,

0:18:00.040 --> 0:18:02.240
<v Speaker 1>found very insular. Community we were everyone's mom and. Dad,

0:18:02.359 --> 0:18:04.560
<v Speaker 1>yes so, like we never got a chance to be

0:18:04.640 --> 0:18:06.520
<v Speaker 1>like slutty and fun because it would just have been

0:18:06.640 --> 0:18:09.680
<v Speaker 1>the topic of conversation and that's no. Fun it's fun

0:18:09.720 --> 0:18:13.160
<v Speaker 1>to be gossiped about small it's not fun to they're

0:18:13.560 --> 0:18:14.120
<v Speaker 1>in the, town the whole.

0:18:14.119 --> 0:18:14.480
<v Speaker 2>Town, no, no.

0:18:14.520 --> 0:18:16.359
<v Speaker 1>No so when we moved, here we had a little

0:18:16.400 --> 0:18:18.800
<v Speaker 1>bit of a slutty phase and we were on tender

0:18:18.880 --> 0:18:20.640
<v Speaker 1>for the first time and trying to like find people

0:18:20.720 --> 0:18:23.280
<v Speaker 1>to hook up. With and we made this incredible friend

0:18:23.359 --> 0:18:25.600
<v Speaker 1>who still is a friend to this, day who's probably

0:18:25.600 --> 0:18:26.600
<v Speaker 1>the person we hooked up with the.

0:18:26.680 --> 0:18:28.159
<v Speaker 3>Most just an.

0:18:28.440 --> 0:18:32.000
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely stunningly Beautiful African american woman with incredible taste in,

0:18:32.040 --> 0:18:35.520
<v Speaker 1>gothrock just the just the sort of PERSON i dreamed

0:18:35.520 --> 0:18:38.560
<v Speaker 1>about while listening To Marilyn manson as a, kid and

0:18:38.800 --> 0:18:40.800
<v Speaker 1>like we looked up a bunch and like just became

0:18:40.880 --> 0:18:43.560
<v Speaker 1>genuinely beautiful. Friends and one night she was, Like, hey

0:18:43.640 --> 0:18:45.440
<v Speaker 1>do you want to go see The Smith's fits with?

0:18:45.560 --> 0:18:50.359
<v Speaker 1>Us Smith's fits is A Misfits smith's cover. Band the

0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:52.959
<v Speaker 1>singer dress is half As Glen danzig and half As.

0:18:53.040 --> 0:18:55.399
<v Speaker 1>Morrissy this sounds like cut down the.

0:18:55.440 --> 0:18:55.920
<v Speaker 3>Middle it was.

0:18:55.960 --> 0:18:59.000
<v Speaker 1>Incredible she was, Like, hey my Sugar daddy is taking

0:18:59.080 --> 0:19:01.080
<v Speaker 1>us out. Tonight he's gonna buy our other, Drinks he's

0:19:01.080 --> 0:19:02.520
<v Speaker 1>getting us tickets to the. Show AND i was, Like

0:19:03.480 --> 0:19:04.480
<v Speaker 1>i've never been treated.

0:19:04.280 --> 0:19:04.800
<v Speaker 2>As a beautiful.

0:19:04.800 --> 0:19:07.080
<v Speaker 3>Woman this is. Incredible you KNOW i would have live

0:19:07.119 --> 0:19:08.399
<v Speaker 3>vicariously through someone else's.

0:19:08.400 --> 0:19:11.160
<v Speaker 1>Beauty, Yeah and we went and her, boy her sugar,

0:19:11.240 --> 0:19:14.640
<v Speaker 1>daddy was like this Like russian cryptoi or millionaire who

0:19:15.480 --> 0:19:16.880
<v Speaker 1>was just a dick the entire.

0:19:16.920 --> 0:19:18.320
<v Speaker 3>TIME i don't know how you have money and you're an.

0:19:18.359 --> 0:19:22.320
<v Speaker 3>Asshole it really does make. Sense but that Night doge was.

0:19:22.480 --> 0:19:24.840
<v Speaker 1>Crashing he was being punished by a bad, dog and

0:19:24.920 --> 0:19:26.480
<v Speaker 1>he was losing shit tons of, money and he was

0:19:26.520 --> 0:19:29.280
<v Speaker 1>being rude to. Everybody and she just kind of looked

0:19:29.400 --> 0:19:31.440
<v Speaker 1>us and was, LIKE i Think i'm gonna break up with.

0:19:31.440 --> 0:19:32.639
<v Speaker 1>Them do you guys want to go and? Fuck AND

0:19:32.680 --> 0:19:34.119
<v Speaker 1>i was, like, ABSOLUTELY i think we.

0:19:34.200 --> 0:19:36.159
<v Speaker 3>DO i find my.

0:19:36.240 --> 0:19:38.600
<v Speaker 1>Wife we got in the car he paid for and drove,

0:19:38.680 --> 0:19:42.479
<v Speaker 1>home had a fabulous, evening, Incredible like we never got

0:19:42.520 --> 0:19:44.320
<v Speaker 1>to be like the. Fund you never had those experiences

0:19:44.400 --> 0:19:46.280
<v Speaker 1>in college where you're, like, oh, NO i hooked up

0:19:46.280 --> 0:19:48.240
<v Speaker 1>with this person and now it's gonna set my friend

0:19:48.280 --> 0:19:51.320
<v Speaker 1>group on, fire WHICH i don't, recommend but it's sort of.

0:19:51.480 --> 0:19:53.040
<v Speaker 3>NICE i think to have, those just to have the.

0:19:53.080 --> 0:19:55.879
<v Speaker 1>Life, Yeah and in that one, MOMENT i was, like,

0:19:56.040 --> 0:19:57.639
<v Speaker 1>MAN i got to do this and stick it to

0:19:57.680 --> 0:19:58.560
<v Speaker 1>a millionaire at the same.

0:19:58.640 --> 0:20:01.760
<v Speaker 3>Time Fucking i'm. Poor how often do you get to

0:20:01.800 --> 0:20:02.040
<v Speaker 3>cock a.

0:20:02.119 --> 0:20:02.560
<v Speaker 2>Rich guy that?

0:20:02.720 --> 0:20:05.440
<v Speaker 3>Rules that's. INCREDIBLE i WISH i had facetimeed, him just

0:20:05.480 --> 0:20:10.439
<v Speaker 3>be like. Here it was. Great we left while they

0:20:10.480 --> 0:20:12.399
<v Speaker 3>played The smith Song How Soon Is? Now it was

0:20:12.480 --> 0:20:14.959
<v Speaker 3>very PO i love.

0:20:15.000 --> 0:20:16.159
<v Speaker 2>THAT i Think i'm gonna breakup with. Him do you

0:20:16.280 --> 0:20:17.879
<v Speaker 2>want to go? Fun that's just the.

0:20:18.000 --> 0:20:20.399
<v Speaker 1>POWER i have a peanut butter and jelly. Dick it

0:20:20.560 --> 0:20:22.840
<v Speaker 1>is what you want when you want something, reliable but

0:20:22.920 --> 0:20:25.760
<v Speaker 1>it's not. GOURMET a peanut butter and jelly dick is.

0:20:25.960 --> 0:20:26.920
<v Speaker 2>Wild it's.

0:20:26.960 --> 0:20:29.200
<v Speaker 1>Reliable you, know you can do special things with it

0:20:29.240 --> 0:20:31.040
<v Speaker 1>if you. Want you, KNOW i love peanut butter and

0:20:31.440 --> 0:20:34.000
<v Speaker 1>dress it. Up, yeah but it's always. Good it's always.

0:20:34.040 --> 0:20:36.480
<v Speaker 2>Good you, know it's always gonna? Wow is? It is

0:20:36.520 --> 0:20:38.440
<v Speaker 2>it a crunchy peanut? Butter is that a smooth peanut? Butter?

0:20:38.520 --> 0:20:38.560
<v Speaker 1>No?

0:20:38.640 --> 0:20:39.360
<v Speaker 3>NO i bathe.

0:20:43.000 --> 0:20:49.280
<v Speaker 2>Pull my mic. Out, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, Beautiful oh my,

0:20:49.400 --> 0:20:49.960
<v Speaker 2>god thank you so.

0:20:50.080 --> 0:20:53.480
<v Speaker 3>Much, okay hopefully my mom's already turned off this.

0:20:53.520 --> 0:20:58.320
<v Speaker 2>Episode i'm sending her a private, Like, okay shall we

0:20:58.440 --> 0:21:01.840
<v Speaker 2>do some messy mail? Please it's. Beautiful that means it's

0:21:01.840 --> 0:21:03.760
<v Speaker 2>time for messy. Mail let's do. This. Okay so the

0:21:03.800 --> 0:21:07.040
<v Speaker 2>first one, said, oh by the, way all your submissions remain.

0:21:07.080 --> 0:21:09.520
<v Speaker 2>Anonymous feel LIKE i always have to say. That this one,

0:21:09.560 --> 0:21:11.840
<v Speaker 2>says had sex for the first time in over two

0:21:12.040 --> 0:21:16.040
<v Speaker 2>thousand days this. Weekend mostly just felt. Relief what is

0:21:16.119 --> 0:21:20.160
<v Speaker 2>the long your? Face two thousand? Days? YEAH i didn't

0:21:20.160 --> 0:21:23.199
<v Speaker 2>even know what that is in? Math how? Many how

0:21:23.240 --> 0:21:25.000
<v Speaker 2>many years is? That that has to be a couple of, years, right.

0:21:25.000 --> 0:21:28.920
<v Speaker 3>Three season five seven, four that's like four or five?

0:21:29.040 --> 0:21:32.800
<v Speaker 2>Years four years is fourteen sixty five? Years?

0:21:32.920 --> 0:21:37.200
<v Speaker 3>Eight oh my, god there's a cellivent for so long?

0:21:38.160 --> 0:21:42.359
<v Speaker 2>Years? Wow what's as long as you've going without?

0:21:42.400 --> 0:21:47.359
<v Speaker 3>Sex sixteen? Years well wait UNTIL i turned?

0:21:47.359 --> 0:21:51.960
<v Speaker 2>Sixteen, okay, sorry since you started having, sex what's the

0:21:52.160 --> 0:21:54.760
<v Speaker 2>LONGEST i was, like, damn three? Years three?

0:21:54.800 --> 0:21:55.240
<v Speaker 3>Years three.

0:21:55.320 --> 0:21:59.080
<v Speaker 1>YEARS i had sex in high school with a girlfriend

0:21:59.280 --> 0:22:01.639
<v Speaker 1>and then with the guy, friend and THEN i started

0:22:01.680 --> 0:22:03.879
<v Speaker 1>dating my wife and she was not ready to have.

0:22:04.000 --> 0:22:06.280
<v Speaker 1>Sex so for the first three years we, dated we

0:22:06.359 --> 0:22:09.040
<v Speaker 1>did not have. Sex we did sex sexual. Thing, yeah

0:22:09.520 --> 0:22:12.760
<v Speaker 1>got to we cleared third a bunch of, times but

0:22:13.960 --> 0:22:17.160
<v Speaker 1>never really like got to that that like specific, place which,

0:22:17.200 --> 0:22:20.040
<v Speaker 1>honestly like being together for twenty two years and like

0:22:20.640 --> 0:22:24.200
<v Speaker 1>having that period is really useful BECAUSE i think you

0:22:24.280 --> 0:22:26.320
<v Speaker 1>have you learn a lot about like what how to

0:22:26.359 --> 0:22:29.160
<v Speaker 1>bring pleasure to each other sure otherwise and then also

0:22:29.280 --> 0:22:31.200
<v Speaker 1>you get to have these really beautiful moments where like

0:22:31.920 --> 0:22:35.480
<v Speaker 1>you you've been building to this like beautiful thing and

0:22:35.520 --> 0:22:38.160
<v Speaker 1>you finally have sex for the first time and it's, hilarious.

0:22:40.000 --> 0:22:43.280
<v Speaker 1>Hilarious she, okay, COOL i have.

0:22:43.320 --> 0:22:49.000
<v Speaker 3>Permission my mother in law is a very Insane christian.

0:22:49.040 --> 0:22:49.680
<v Speaker 3>WOMAN i say that with.

0:22:49.800 --> 0:22:52.639
<v Speaker 1>Love and she told her that my wife had a

0:22:52.760 --> 0:22:55.240
<v Speaker 1>doubly thick i'mon and if we ever had, sex she

0:22:55.280 --> 0:22:57.040
<v Speaker 1>would know because of how bad it would. Be she

0:22:57.160 --> 0:22:59.320
<v Speaker 1>was very worried about her him and Bringing, yeah and

0:22:59.440 --> 0:23:02.800
<v Speaker 1>when it, broke it made an audible pop, wow like

0:23:03.080 --> 0:23:06.760
<v Speaker 1>like like it was and then like there's just a

0:23:06.840 --> 0:23:09.200
<v Speaker 1>lot of. Blood it's just LIKE i Think i'm going to.

0:23:09.280 --> 0:23:10.720
<v Speaker 1>Die AND i was, Like you're not gonna, die Because

0:23:10.800 --> 0:23:11.359
<v Speaker 1>i'm to.

0:23:11.440 --> 0:23:12.600
<v Speaker 3>Die AND i was LIKE i will.

0:23:12.720 --> 0:23:14.560
<v Speaker 1>Check and So i'm like down there and just like

0:23:15.359 --> 0:23:17.280
<v Speaker 1>be Like, nope this is a normal amount of blood we're.

0:23:17.320 --> 0:23:20.320
<v Speaker 1>Doing and it's that is the sort of thing that

0:23:20.359 --> 0:23:23.240
<v Speaker 1>you get to build up. Too you like you're experiencing

0:23:23.280 --> 0:23:25.360
<v Speaker 1>the insecurity and you're experiencing a little bit of fear

0:23:25.400 --> 0:23:27.000
<v Speaker 1>and a little bit of the righteous wrath Of, god

0:23:27.520 --> 0:23:29.760
<v Speaker 1>and like you also in that, Moment LIKE i think

0:23:29.800 --> 0:23:31.840
<v Speaker 1>it was really important because it taught her, that like

0:23:32.119 --> 0:23:34.040
<v Speaker 1>she can Say i'm scared in the middle of, sex

0:23:34.119 --> 0:23:36.159
<v Speaker 1>and we can stop and like figure out where we

0:23:36.240 --> 0:23:38.359
<v Speaker 1>are and talk it through and then go back if

0:23:38.400 --> 0:23:38.760
<v Speaker 1>we want to.

0:23:38.880 --> 0:23:39.480
<v Speaker 3>Or continue it.

0:23:39.560 --> 0:23:42.080
<v Speaker 1>Later and it's, LIKE i think that's really like beautiful

0:23:42.119 --> 0:23:45.520
<v Speaker 1>and great. Gorgeous now that being, said if after twenty

0:23:45.560 --> 0:23:46.640
<v Speaker 1>two years it had been.

0:23:47.200 --> 0:23:51.760
<v Speaker 3>Two thousand, days that's you, know if you're if you're so,

0:23:51.920 --> 0:23:55.960
<v Speaker 3>abstinent you're using uh aa rules for counting the, day that's.

0:23:56.000 --> 0:23:59.600
<v Speaker 1>Bad that's very fun, Time, YEAH i, mean and also

0:23:59.720 --> 0:24:02.960
<v Speaker 1>can ratulations and getting late absolutely congratulations after five and

0:24:03.000 --> 0:24:05.240
<v Speaker 1>a half years you you you slayed.

0:24:05.280 --> 0:24:07.840
<v Speaker 2>It i'll say THAT i think the Longest i've gone without,

0:24:07.920 --> 0:24:10.720
<v Speaker 2>SEX i would say like a couple of. Weeks, okay

0:24:10.760 --> 0:24:14.520
<v Speaker 2>maybe like a couple of. Weeks, yeah, yeah that's, true, Right, yeah,

0:24:14.680 --> 0:24:16.800
<v Speaker 2>YEAH i guess because the first TIME i had SEX

0:24:16.840 --> 0:24:21.359
<v Speaker 2>i was nineteen eighteen eighteen or nineteen was FIRSTIME i had,

0:24:21.400 --> 0:24:24.200
<v Speaker 2>sex and THEN i would LIKE i would fuck pretty

0:24:24.280 --> 0:24:27.560
<v Speaker 2>often in, school like once a, month once every Other,

0:24:27.720 --> 0:24:29.280
<v Speaker 2>yeah every couple. Weeks So i'd take a couple of

0:24:29.280 --> 0:24:31.560
<v Speaker 2>weeks is The longest's.

0:24:31.040 --> 0:24:33.760
<v Speaker 3>Well so here's the. Question are we talking purely penetrative

0:24:33.840 --> 0:24:35.119
<v Speaker 3>or are we including like oral and?

0:24:35.200 --> 0:24:35.600
<v Speaker 2>Handies?

0:24:35.760 --> 0:24:37.760
<v Speaker 1>Oh, well that's fair because sex is not just about.

0:24:37.760 --> 0:24:40.080
<v Speaker 1>Penetration you, know if you could get your feet tickled

0:24:40.119 --> 0:24:41.159
<v Speaker 1>and you, come does that kind of?

0:24:41.240 --> 0:24:42.960
<v Speaker 3>SEX i would say, YES i would think.

0:24:43.000 --> 0:24:43.040
<v Speaker 2>So.

0:24:43.280 --> 0:24:45.359
<v Speaker 3>Yeah so like even during that three, years we were

0:24:45.400 --> 0:24:47.639
<v Speaker 3>doing other, stuff like we were being. Sexual.

0:24:47.880 --> 0:24:50.240
<v Speaker 1>Yes the question is if you're using The calvinist sex

0:24:50.320 --> 0:24:53.040
<v Speaker 1>is only, penetration, right you? Know so like is this

0:24:53.119 --> 0:24:58.240
<v Speaker 1>person saying for two thousand years for the Same not

0:24:58.359 --> 0:25:00.360
<v Speaker 1>to make them feel, bad but it was two years

0:25:00.359 --> 0:25:01.080
<v Speaker 1>and it's two thousand.

0:25:01.160 --> 0:25:03.359
<v Speaker 2>Years my, god we have bigger. Problems this Is Jesus

0:25:03.480 --> 0:25:09.120
<v Speaker 2>christ on The jesus wrote in what's That? Mama, YEAH

0:25:09.160 --> 0:25:10.480
<v Speaker 2>i think it was a couple of. Weeks is the

0:25:10.520 --> 0:25:15.280
<v Speaker 2>longest for either penetration or or hand stuff or mouth?

0:25:15.359 --> 0:25:18.360
<v Speaker 1>STUFF i think man FOR i would say since being,

0:25:18.400 --> 0:25:22.080
<v Speaker 1>married the longest has been two months, okay where we

0:25:22.200 --> 0:25:23.879
<v Speaker 1>both were traveling a lot and then we were not

0:25:23.960 --> 0:25:26.600
<v Speaker 1>getting along and you just. Don't you kissed and you

0:25:26.680 --> 0:25:28.520
<v Speaker 1>take good, night you sleep together and you're, intimate but

0:25:28.600 --> 0:25:30.800
<v Speaker 1>you're not. Sexual BUT i think that's those are normal

0:25:30.840 --> 0:25:33.160
<v Speaker 1>in a. Relationship that is like our relationship can fucking

0:25:33.240 --> 0:25:37.000
<v Speaker 1>drink at this? Point like and it, Does AND i

0:25:37.040 --> 0:25:39.720
<v Speaker 1>think you have, to, like you, know if you're, single

0:25:39.800 --> 0:25:41.240
<v Speaker 1>it's one, thing and if you're in a, RELATIONSHIP i

0:25:41.240 --> 0:25:42.960
<v Speaker 1>think it's important not to beat yourself up if you're

0:25:42.960 --> 0:25:44.960
<v Speaker 1>ever going through a cold, patch because part of that

0:25:45.119 --> 0:25:46.959
<v Speaker 1>is just your have a garden to, nurture and if

0:25:46.960 --> 0:25:48.720
<v Speaker 1>you don't nurture it, properly you're not gonna get fruit of.

0:25:48.760 --> 0:25:56.840
<v Speaker 2>It you better come to Better Jesus. Christ ABSOLUTELY i love.

0:25:56.880 --> 0:26:01.280
<v Speaker 2>That you better fucking, talk, okay talk to your ship.

0:26:01.400 --> 0:26:04.480
<v Speaker 2>Now this one says, silently fucked my girlfriend on a

0:26:04.480 --> 0:26:07.200
<v Speaker 2>blow up bed whilst her mother slept just meters from.

0:26:07.320 --> 0:26:11.400
<v Speaker 2>Us that's. WILD i couldn't get hard if my mom

0:26:11.520 --> 0:26:12.200
<v Speaker 2>was right next to.

0:26:12.280 --> 0:26:12.680
<v Speaker 3>Me i'm.

0:26:12.680 --> 0:26:17.080
<v Speaker 1>IMPRESSED i. Know that's where did you get such a good?

0:26:17.160 --> 0:26:21.240
<v Speaker 1>Infectible dropped the? Link that's a, good that's a good inflatable.

0:26:21.240 --> 0:26:22.720
<v Speaker 1>Mattress that that's an affiliate.

0:26:22.800 --> 0:26:23.159
<v Speaker 3>Sponsor.

0:26:24.400 --> 0:26:27.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Wow have you ever sucked out a bloat?

0:26:27.520 --> 0:26:29.399
<v Speaker 3>Bed, yeah of course that's.

0:26:31.480 --> 0:26:31.520
<v Speaker 2>To.

0:26:31.600 --> 0:26:33.840
<v Speaker 3>Brag BUT i didn't have bed money forever that you.

0:26:34.000 --> 0:26:36.639
<v Speaker 2>KNOW i fucked on the. FLOOR i fucked on an air.

0:26:36.840 --> 0:26:41.000
<v Speaker 2>Mattress have you fucked near a? Parent not a? Parent?

0:26:41.840 --> 0:26:45.480
<v Speaker 3>Uh WE i got a blowjob once In.

0:26:45.760 --> 0:26:47.159
<v Speaker 1>UH i was like in the we were in the

0:26:47.240 --> 0:26:51.240
<v Speaker 1>corner of a basement and there were people around the

0:26:51.400 --> 0:26:52.480
<v Speaker 1>corner and.

0:26:52.680 --> 0:26:59.879
<v Speaker 3>Asleep i'm not gonna happened in but it was.

0:27:00.119 --> 0:27:02.360
<v Speaker 1>It it was not an eyeshow like if if you're

0:27:02.400 --> 0:27:04.040
<v Speaker 1>using metal, gear solid, rules like you could hear the

0:27:04.080 --> 0:27:06.520
<v Speaker 1>footsteps down the hallway throw yourself under the.

0:27:06.560 --> 0:27:12.640
<v Speaker 3>Box NEVER i. Couldn't that's too. Much that's we we did.

0:27:12.720 --> 0:27:16.320
<v Speaker 3>GET i know we've been caught after the fact. Before

0:27:16.760 --> 0:27:19.200
<v Speaker 3>but after the fact before what you, mean, well, like,

0:27:19.440 --> 0:27:21.760
<v Speaker 3>uh you were told after the.

0:27:21.840 --> 0:27:22.800
<v Speaker 2>Fact, NO i just.

0:27:22.920 --> 0:27:26.240
<v Speaker 1>KNEW i lived with my folks when we first started.

0:27:26.320 --> 0:27:29.680
<v Speaker 1>Dating and uh one the first time we ever drank

0:27:29.720 --> 0:27:33.800
<v Speaker 1>and did. Xanax the last time we're having we got the.

0:27:33.880 --> 0:27:36.399
<v Speaker 1>Car shouldn't have done, that but we, did and we

0:27:36.440 --> 0:27:38.800
<v Speaker 1>were making out in the car and, uh she was,

0:27:38.880 --> 0:27:40.399
<v Speaker 1>like do you want to bang on the hood of the.

0:27:40.440 --> 0:27:42.680
<v Speaker 1>Car it was, like, yes, Absolutely AND i also was

0:27:42.720 --> 0:27:45.639
<v Speaker 1>twenty two and did not had not washed.

0:27:45.520 --> 0:27:46.159
<v Speaker 3>My car in a lot of.

0:27:46.160 --> 0:27:49.480
<v Speaker 1>Time and like the next MORNING i came downstairs and

0:27:49.520 --> 0:27:51.800
<v Speaker 1>my dad's car was, gone and on the hood of

0:27:51.880 --> 0:27:54.160
<v Speaker 1>my car was just the outline of my wife's. Eyes,

0:27:55.960 --> 0:27:59.760
<v Speaker 1>incredible and then just like two. Handprints it was. Incredible

0:28:00.400 --> 0:28:03.320
<v Speaker 1>you know, what maybe maybe he didn't, notice and also

0:28:03.480 --> 0:28:04.640
<v Speaker 1>he probably.

0:28:06.359 --> 0:28:07.720
<v Speaker 3>Well he's already turned this. Off and.

0:28:09.520 --> 0:28:13.240
<v Speaker 2>Well ALSO i never, PRIVATELY i got lots of private link. Sitting,

0:28:15.320 --> 0:28:18.080
<v Speaker 2>OKAY i don't Think i've ever. Fucked ONLY i fucked

0:28:18.119 --> 0:28:22.080
<v Speaker 2>in my childhood, bedroom WHICH i think everyone most people,

0:28:22.160 --> 0:28:23.560
<v Speaker 2>have but no one was.

0:28:23.640 --> 0:28:26.199
<v Speaker 3>Home so you've never even had sex when your parents are.

0:28:26.200 --> 0:28:27.000
<v Speaker 2>Home, no, no, no, no no.

0:28:27.080 --> 0:28:27.760
<v Speaker 3>No oh.

0:28:28.359 --> 0:28:31.640
<v Speaker 1>Man, Yeah SO i think THAT i developed an edging

0:28:31.760 --> 0:28:36.959
<v Speaker 1>fantasy because of having. Sex, sure we're just, like all, right,

0:28:37.160 --> 0:28:41.719
<v Speaker 1>Well i'm rebelling right like my bedrooms, upstairs there's is, downstairs,

0:28:41.840 --> 0:28:46.680
<v Speaker 1>yeah but like below so you. Can't you gotta go real,

0:28:47.000 --> 0:28:49.800
<v Speaker 1>slow not more than, soaking but. Close it's.

0:28:50.200 --> 0:28:50.600
<v Speaker 2>Quiet.

0:28:50.920 --> 0:28:52.719
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah and you just learned to be very.

0:28:52.840 --> 0:29:03.200
<v Speaker 2>Intentional it's kung. Fu this one SAYS i came out

0:29:03.280 --> 0:29:07.600
<v Speaker 2>to my bye husband as by. Myself oh good as

0:29:07.680 --> 0:29:14.200
<v Speaker 2>ba as not by, myself but as. Work. CONGRATULATIONS i

0:29:14.280 --> 0:29:16.000
<v Speaker 2>want to ask you about. This you're you're by and

0:29:16.080 --> 0:29:17.640
<v Speaker 2>you came out As when did you come out as by?

0:29:19.040 --> 0:29:19.760
<v Speaker 3>Publicly as?

0:29:20.200 --> 0:29:22.480
<v Speaker 2>Well y'all have been together let's say, this you've been

0:29:22.520 --> 0:29:24.200
<v Speaker 2>together with your wife for twenty two. Years, yeah when

0:29:24.240 --> 0:29:26.239
<v Speaker 2>did you did you have this experience where you had

0:29:26.240 --> 0:29:27.160
<v Speaker 2>to come out to your wife or?

0:29:27.400 --> 0:29:30.800
<v Speaker 3>NO i MEAN i kind of when you're together for

0:29:30.840 --> 0:29:31.320
<v Speaker 3>a really long.

0:29:31.400 --> 0:29:33.120
<v Speaker 1>Time, YEAH i think you just Are Like i'm gonna

0:29:33.160 --> 0:29:34.560
<v Speaker 1>keep this in a box because one Day i'm gonna

0:29:34.640 --> 0:29:38.040
<v Speaker 1>blow your mind where it's also like you you, LEARN

0:29:38.360 --> 0:29:41.320
<v Speaker 1>i think what when you want to share things and

0:29:41.360 --> 0:29:43.960
<v Speaker 1>when things are? Necessary, sure, so like we were monogamous

0:29:43.960 --> 0:29:46.480
<v Speaker 1>for a very very long. Time we're still mostly, monogamous

0:29:46.880 --> 0:29:50.800
<v Speaker 1>and like the question is what do you benefit from learning?

0:29:50.880 --> 0:29:52.880
<v Speaker 3>That and Also i'm learning.

0:29:52.720 --> 0:29:54.800
<v Speaker 1>Who you are and LIKE i know that you're cool

0:29:55.000 --> 0:29:57.480
<v Speaker 1>with like, bisexuality BUT i don't know if you're cool

0:29:57.520 --> 0:29:57.680
<v Speaker 1>with my.

0:29:57.760 --> 0:30:01.720
<v Speaker 3>Bisexuality oh, so she over the years has.

0:30:01.640 --> 0:30:04.840
<v Speaker 1>Talked about she's LIKE i love when you're a little,

0:30:04.880 --> 0:30:10.440
<v Speaker 1>queenie LIKE i love musicals AND i she comes home

0:30:10.480 --> 0:30:12.360
<v Speaker 1>And i'm dancing while doing the, dishes and, Like i've

0:30:12.640 --> 0:30:14.520
<v Speaker 1>there are things about me where she's just like when

0:30:14.560 --> 0:30:17.400
<v Speaker 1>my feminine energy comes. Out, Yeah and we would watch

0:30:17.520 --> 0:30:20.200
<v Speaker 1>movies AND i would be, like per like a dude or, something,

0:30:21.240 --> 0:30:23.960
<v Speaker 1>yes and like, eventually you, know she was just like

0:30:24.200 --> 0:30:25.360
<v Speaker 1>where do you stand on?

0:30:25.440 --> 0:30:26.520
<v Speaker 3>This And i'd be, like, ah you know.

0:30:26.600 --> 0:30:27.960
<v Speaker 1>Whatever and then we'd be at a party and i'd

0:30:27.960 --> 0:30:29.440
<v Speaker 1>make out with a guy for, attension you, know like

0:30:29.480 --> 0:30:29.760
<v Speaker 1>you're doing.

0:30:29.800 --> 0:30:30.720
<v Speaker 3>College AND.

0:30:32.240 --> 0:30:34.440
<v Speaker 1>I, Also i'll say A chattanooga WHERE i grew. Up,

0:30:34.520 --> 0:30:37.880
<v Speaker 1>yeah the like underground kind of like music scene has

0:30:37.960 --> 0:30:42.440
<v Speaker 1>a very it's it's like sixty percent toxic masculinity forty.

0:30:42.520 --> 0:30:44.600
<v Speaker 1>Percent we all kiss each other and that's.

0:30:44.640 --> 0:30:44.880
<v Speaker 3>Fine.

0:30:45.040 --> 0:30:48.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so LIKE i don't know if it was easy

0:30:48.080 --> 0:30:49.680
<v Speaker 1>for even her to even tell whether or not it

0:30:49.800 --> 0:30:52.320
<v Speaker 1>was just like you like kissing people or what it.

0:30:52.520 --> 0:30:54.960
<v Speaker 1>Was and THEN i WOULD i think over the years

0:30:55.080 --> 0:30:57.479
<v Speaker 1>hint at stuff had, happened And i'd been, like, oh,

0:30:57.600 --> 0:30:59.120
<v Speaker 1>YEAH i hooked up with the guy, once BUT i

0:30:59.120 --> 0:31:02.360
<v Speaker 1>wouldn't explain how far that. Went, SURE i think probably

0:31:02.480 --> 0:31:04.440
<v Speaker 1>two years ago was the first TIME i ever told,

0:31:04.480 --> 0:31:06.280
<v Speaker 1>you LIKE i had sex with a. Guy but, like

0:31:06.760 --> 0:31:08.480
<v Speaker 1>but even, then it wasn't like in a. Relationship it

0:31:08.600 --> 0:31:11.440
<v Speaker 1>was a male friend of mine, that like he we

0:31:11.560 --> 0:31:14.200
<v Speaker 1>were both clearly by we were both clearly attracted to each.

0:31:14.240 --> 0:31:16.120
<v Speaker 1>Other we didn't want a, date and that seemed like

0:31:16.280 --> 0:31:18.760
<v Speaker 1>the perfect person to, fuck, sure because they're, like oh,

0:31:18.840 --> 0:31:21.720
<v Speaker 1>man low. Stakes, yeah you both want to. Explore neither

0:31:21.800 --> 0:31:23.280
<v Speaker 1>one of you wants to be in a. Band this is,

0:31:23.360 --> 0:31:23.840
<v Speaker 1>perfect you.

0:31:23.920 --> 0:31:26.280
<v Speaker 3>Know and That so that was.

0:31:26.360 --> 0:31:29.080
<v Speaker 1>IT i, mean like it took twenty years to tell

0:31:29.080 --> 0:31:31.040
<v Speaker 1>her the full, extent BUT i think it was also

0:31:31.160 --> 0:31:33.520
<v Speaker 1>kind of hot to just have this, mystery you.

0:31:33.560 --> 0:31:36.400
<v Speaker 2>Know, yeah but you knew you knew that about yourself

0:31:36.440 --> 0:31:36.960
<v Speaker 2>for this one. Years.

0:31:37.280 --> 0:31:39.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Yeah AND i LIKE i would still LIKE i

0:31:39.600 --> 0:31:45.360
<v Speaker 1>would watch like by, pornolage, sure OR i really enjoyed

0:31:45.440 --> 0:31:46.880
<v Speaker 1>like pictures of, swimmers you, know.

0:31:47.080 --> 0:31:49.080
<v Speaker 2>Like, yeah oh, GOD i still love pictures of Some,

0:31:49.400 --> 0:31:50.040
<v Speaker 2>yeah and, LIKE.

0:31:50.400 --> 0:31:53.680
<v Speaker 1>I don't, know it's it's interesting to me because like for,

0:31:53.880 --> 0:31:56.760
<v Speaker 1>me it wasn't something that LIKE i talked about it

0:31:56.800 --> 0:31:59.600
<v Speaker 1>a lot of my, comedy, yeah without directly talking about

0:32:00.640 --> 0:32:04.040
<v Speaker 1>and LIKE i would just constantly bring up tiny little

0:32:04.120 --> 0:32:07.120
<v Speaker 1>things about like being attracted. MEN i have a very

0:32:07.240 --> 0:32:10.400
<v Speaker 1>long story on my record that's about going on a

0:32:10.480 --> 0:32:12.000
<v Speaker 1>date with a guy in high school THAT i didn't

0:32:12.040 --> 0:32:13.480
<v Speaker 1>realize was a date UNTIL i was at the.

0:32:13.520 --> 0:32:16.320
<v Speaker 3>End of, it like because he was just, Like, hey

0:32:16.360 --> 0:32:18.080
<v Speaker 3>do you want to go to the? Movies? Yeah and

0:32:18.120 --> 0:32:21.360
<v Speaker 3>then he held my hand in the movies AND i was, like, oh,

0:32:21.440 --> 0:32:23.360
<v Speaker 3>NO i don't know what we're. Doing AND i was,

0:32:23.400 --> 0:32:25.320
<v Speaker 3>like he's been, cool let's do.

0:32:25.400 --> 0:32:26.880
<v Speaker 1>It SO i held his hand for the entire, movie

0:32:27.080 --> 0:32:31.280
<v Speaker 1>WHICH i didn't realize how like SEPHORICALLY i was like or,

0:32:31.440 --> 0:32:33.600
<v Speaker 1>LIKE i feel LIKE i was giving much more romantic

0:32:33.720 --> 0:32:35.520
<v Speaker 1>energy THAT i was. Intending SO i was, like, WELL

0:32:35.520 --> 0:32:37.440
<v Speaker 1>i don't, know why WOULDN'T i hold hands with? You

0:32:37.560 --> 0:32:38.720
<v Speaker 1>and then like we kissed at the end of the,

0:32:38.800 --> 0:32:42.280
<v Speaker 1>night and THEN i told him we were. Moving you,

0:32:42.360 --> 0:32:45.360
<v Speaker 1>Know i'm not going to be. Easy you know you want,

0:32:45.400 --> 0:32:47.320
<v Speaker 1>Me you're going to move To michigan or WHAT i line,

0:32:47.320 --> 0:32:49.800
<v Speaker 1>about which is ridiculous BECAUSE i lived in that town

0:32:49.840 --> 0:32:50.080
<v Speaker 1>for ten.

0:32:50.160 --> 0:32:54.840
<v Speaker 3>MONTHS i was just a.

0:32:54.960 --> 0:32:57.600
<v Speaker 2>Lying piece of, shit well no figuring it.

0:32:57.640 --> 0:33:00.400
<v Speaker 3>Out who's a good person when they're, Sixteen not.

0:33:00.600 --> 0:33:02.840
<v Speaker 2>ME i certainly wasn't well what did You how did

0:33:03.000 --> 0:33:06.680
<v Speaker 2>how did your marriage change AFTER i don't want to

0:33:06.680 --> 0:33:09.120
<v Speaker 2>say coming, out but after sharing that part of. Yourself, nothing,

0:33:09.520 --> 0:33:10.920
<v Speaker 2>Nothing it was the, same it, Was it.

0:33:11.000 --> 0:33:11.640
<v Speaker 3>Was absolutely the.

0:33:11.720 --> 0:33:14.160
<v Speaker 1>Same she became a little more receptive to playing with my,

0:33:14.200 --> 0:33:16.400
<v Speaker 1>butt but outside of, THAT i think she was just,

0:33:16.480 --> 0:33:17.600
<v Speaker 1>like oh you, actually this.

0:33:17.640 --> 0:33:21.239
<v Speaker 3>Isn't just something you're doing to be. Cool. Yeah, uh

0:33:21.720 --> 0:33:23.440
<v Speaker 3>like it was really kind of. Great nothing. Changed.

0:33:23.720 --> 0:33:27.680
<v Speaker 1>UH i think the the Stuff i've always been more

0:33:27.720 --> 0:33:30.600
<v Speaker 1>cautious about is just like my. Folks, yeah BECAUSE i

0:33:30.680 --> 0:33:32.680
<v Speaker 1>know my parents would completely and totally accept, me but

0:33:32.840 --> 0:33:36.080
<v Speaker 1>like my dad's a, minister he's now. Retired he retired

0:33:36.080 --> 0:33:38.720
<v Speaker 1>and became a hospice oh, wow because he was, Like

0:33:38.840 --> 0:33:39.600
<v Speaker 1>i'm done with the hard.

0:33:39.680 --> 0:33:39.920
<v Speaker 3>Part.

0:33:40.240 --> 0:33:44.280
<v Speaker 1>Uh my mom works in like nonprofit. Stuff so Like

0:33:44.320 --> 0:33:48.320
<v Speaker 1>i've always tried to be very like, PUBLICLY i say

0:33:48.440 --> 0:33:50.760
<v Speaker 1>terrible things on into a, microphone but LIKE i try

0:33:50.800 --> 0:33:52.360
<v Speaker 1>to be aware of like my family and things like,

0:33:52.440 --> 0:33:55.360
<v Speaker 1>that and like her in laws our my in laws

0:33:55.360 --> 0:33:57.040
<v Speaker 1>would disown, me but they won't listen to.

0:33:57.080 --> 0:33:58.680
<v Speaker 2>THIS i don't.

0:33:58.680 --> 0:34:00.520
<v Speaker 1>Know i've never really felt like any fear about. IT

0:34:00.560 --> 0:34:02.360
<v Speaker 1>i knew my brother would, UNDERSTAND i knew my mom

0:34:02.400 --> 0:34:06.320
<v Speaker 1>and dad would. UNDERSTAND i, Mean i'm quite, frankly telling

0:34:06.400 --> 0:34:08.480
<v Speaker 1>my mom that we had a girlfriend infinitely harder than

0:34:08.520 --> 0:34:09.759
<v Speaker 1>being LIKE i hooked up with a guy in high.

0:34:09.800 --> 0:34:14.360
<v Speaker 2>School. Yeah, wow, okay, WAIT i have many. Questions first, is,

0:34:14.840 --> 0:34:18.840
<v Speaker 2>wait my brain is going in five different. DIRECTIONS i, ramble, no, no,

0:34:19.000 --> 0:34:23.400
<v Speaker 2>no you're. Perfect my first question is did it did coming?

0:34:23.480 --> 0:34:25.480
<v Speaker 2>Out did sharing that part of yourself that you're by

0:34:25.600 --> 0:34:28.719
<v Speaker 2>with your? Wife did it change anything for? You like

0:34:28.840 --> 0:34:31.680
<v Speaker 2>did you feel because it's obviously your, Partner you've been

0:34:31.680 --> 0:34:33.840
<v Speaker 2>together for a long, time so did you FEEL i

0:34:33.880 --> 0:34:38.880
<v Speaker 2>don't know anything, lighter, freer or the? Same, like was

0:34:38.920 --> 0:34:39.759
<v Speaker 2>there a shift for?

0:34:40.000 --> 0:34:40.040
<v Speaker 3>You?

0:34:40.719 --> 0:34:44.520
<v Speaker 1>Uh this is maybe this is like a sociopathic comedy brand.

0:34:44.719 --> 0:34:46.480
<v Speaker 1>THING i was, like oh, NO i burned the material

0:34:47.880 --> 0:34:49.160
<v Speaker 1>because it's fun in a.

0:34:49.280 --> 0:34:49.920
<v Speaker 3>Relationship.

0:34:50.239 --> 0:34:52.600
<v Speaker 1>YOU i think it's important if you're like in a

0:34:52.640 --> 0:34:55.200
<v Speaker 1>long term relationship to hold onto. Things, yeah you do

0:34:55.400 --> 0:34:57.359
<v Speaker 1>not need to know everything about each other in your.

0:34:57.400 --> 0:34:59.040
<v Speaker 1>One you don't want to know everything about each other

0:34:59.080 --> 0:35:01.279
<v Speaker 1>in your. Ten, god when you get to, forty you

0:35:01.320 --> 0:35:03.600
<v Speaker 1>should still be discovering shit about each. Other, Yes and

0:35:03.680 --> 0:35:05.719
<v Speaker 1>for me that was one of those like it wasn't

0:35:05.719 --> 0:35:07.680
<v Speaker 1>even LIKE i was teasing her WHERE i was, like

0:35:07.800 --> 0:35:10.120
<v Speaker 1>this is the post credit sequence of this, conversation And

0:35:10.200 --> 0:35:12.040
<v Speaker 1>i'm playing up a movie that's coming. Later like it

0:35:12.200 --> 0:35:15.040
<v Speaker 1>was LIKE i would slowly give her more pieces of,

0:35:15.120 --> 0:35:16.960
<v Speaker 1>it and she would see more pieces of, it AND

0:35:17.040 --> 0:35:20.560
<v Speaker 1>i kind of enjoyed like watching that conversation, grow and

0:35:20.640 --> 0:35:22.759
<v Speaker 1>then it was over and it was, fine and it

0:35:22.920 --> 0:35:24.800
<v Speaker 1>was like and it's cool because now like For, christmas

0:35:24.840 --> 0:35:25.839
<v Speaker 1>she'll get me poppers and that's.

0:35:25.880 --> 0:35:30.879
<v Speaker 3>Great but, liked you, know and, like you, know maybe

0:35:31.000 --> 0:35:33.279
<v Speaker 3>it makes it easier to love each other and understand each,

0:35:33.280 --> 0:35:33.920
<v Speaker 3>other and like.

0:35:34.040 --> 0:35:35.839
<v Speaker 1>It's really fun when we're watching a movie and it's

0:35:35.880 --> 0:35:37.239
<v Speaker 1>like someone super hot comes on and she was like,

0:35:37.719 --> 0:35:40.680
<v Speaker 1>that you, know, yeah but like, IT i don't, KNOW

0:35:41.040 --> 0:35:41.600
<v Speaker 1>i didn't.

0:35:41.400 --> 0:35:42.439
<v Speaker 3>Feel any big.

0:35:42.680 --> 0:35:45.719
<v Speaker 1>CHANGE i also feel LIKE i told her so many

0:35:45.800 --> 0:35:47.960
<v Speaker 1>different ways that the only thing that she didn't know

0:35:48.160 --> 0:35:49.719
<v Speaker 1>was the specifics got It and.

0:35:49.760 --> 0:35:53.040
<v Speaker 3>Even, then like the, SPECIFICS i don't know how important they.

0:35:53.080 --> 0:35:56.279
<v Speaker 1>Are but also it's like for, me it's it's like

0:35:56.440 --> 0:35:59.279
<v Speaker 1>that's a piece of, me and LIKE i can share

0:35:59.400 --> 0:36:01.800
<v Speaker 1>THE i could share the, details AND i can share the,

0:36:01.920 --> 0:36:03.360
<v Speaker 1>reality and you CAN i could share the fact That

0:36:03.360 --> 0:36:05.560
<v Speaker 1>i'm attracted to men and That i've had romantic feelings for,

0:36:05.680 --> 0:36:09.040
<v Speaker 1>them but also like there's an element of like kiss

0:36:09.120 --> 0:36:11.959
<v Speaker 1>and tell is fun for some, stuff and some stuff

0:36:12.000 --> 0:36:14.480
<v Speaker 1>you're like it's almost sacred because it's LIKE i had

0:36:14.520 --> 0:36:17.239
<v Speaker 1>this one beautiful shared experience And i've had Like i've

0:36:17.280 --> 0:36:19.000
<v Speaker 1>made out with guys and stuff like. That it's just

0:36:19.280 --> 0:36:21.040
<v Speaker 1>it's harder to hook up when you're in The south

0:36:21.080 --> 0:36:23.880
<v Speaker 1>because bisexual men are just people are like you're lying and,

0:36:24.560 --> 0:36:28.879
<v Speaker 1>sure but like it didn't change anything because like that's

0:36:28.920 --> 0:36:32.120
<v Speaker 1>been my best friend. Forever we've been together literally longer

0:36:32.160 --> 0:36:34.400
<v Speaker 1>THAN i was alive before we, Met, yeah you, know

0:36:34.640 --> 0:36:37.040
<v Speaker 1>and like if she wasn't going to be cool about,

0:36:37.040 --> 0:36:38.080
<v Speaker 1>IT i wouldn't.

0:36:37.719 --> 0:36:38.520
<v Speaker 3>Have been with her that.

0:36:38.719 --> 0:36:41.399
<v Speaker 1>Long IT'S i, think, honestly one of the best parts

0:36:41.440 --> 0:36:43.560
<v Speaker 1>of long term, love if you can like maintain, it

0:36:44.200 --> 0:36:47.279
<v Speaker 1>is you do have that sense of, security like you

0:36:47.400 --> 0:36:49.879
<v Speaker 1>have a partner and you've been together for twenty, years

0:36:49.880 --> 0:36:51.600
<v Speaker 1>and you're, LIKE i hooked up with someone in high

0:36:51.600 --> 0:36:53.680
<v Speaker 1>school and they look at you like they don't know.

0:36:53.800 --> 0:36:55.520
<v Speaker 3>You what did they do for those twenty?

0:36:55.600 --> 0:36:55.799
<v Speaker 2>Years?

0:36:55.920 --> 0:36:57.840
<v Speaker 3>Literally you, know like how the fuck are?

0:36:57.880 --> 0:37:00.200
<v Speaker 1>You you mean to tell me that we Watched True

0:37:00.320 --> 0:37:02.279
<v Speaker 1>romance AND i was like drooling Over elvis and you

0:37:02.360 --> 0:37:04.920
<v Speaker 1>had no. HINTS i don't think that's.

0:37:04.960 --> 0:37:07.320
<v Speaker 2>Possible, yes that's my. Mother my mother was surprised THAT

0:37:07.360 --> 0:37:11.120
<v Speaker 2>i was, gay which is Really, yeah that really like

0:37:11.440 --> 0:37:13.279
<v Speaker 2>you've been with me for what twenty? Minutes?

0:37:13.360 --> 0:37:15.840
<v Speaker 3>Years like?

0:37:16.040 --> 0:37:20.080
<v Speaker 2>Crazy she was in. SHOCK i don't belive. It my

0:37:20.400 --> 0:37:22.520
<v Speaker 2>movie sisterrect to In First Wife. Club what are we talking?

0:37:22.560 --> 0:37:25.920
<v Speaker 1>ABOUT i thought your your vocal affectations that of a

0:37:25.960 --> 0:37:29.560
<v Speaker 1>game show. Host, right, no, no it's no girl girl.

0:37:30.000 --> 0:37:33.600
<v Speaker 2>Girlies how did you feel about you, KNOW i think

0:37:33.640 --> 0:37:36.920
<v Speaker 2>that this is the conversation around bisexuality and whether or

0:37:36.920 --> 0:37:39.600
<v Speaker 2>not people will obviously it's, real but the conversation about

0:37:39.600 --> 0:37:42.560
<v Speaker 2>people doubting, it especially around men were. Bisexual how is

0:37:42.640 --> 0:37:44.279
<v Speaker 2>that because you just mentioned that in The south people

0:37:44.520 --> 0:37:46.760
<v Speaker 2>don't think it's. Real how is that impacted?

0:37:46.840 --> 0:37:46.880
<v Speaker 1>YOU?

0:37:47.000 --> 0:37:48.400
<v Speaker 2>R what do? You how do you navigate?

0:37:48.640 --> 0:37:52.920
<v Speaker 3>That i've always been, like, honestly the hardest part for

0:37:53.040 --> 0:37:56.520
<v Speaker 3>me is being a. COMEDIAN u, huh there's this making

0:37:56.600 --> 0:37:56.719
<v Speaker 3>me in.

0:37:56.800 --> 0:38:01.600
<v Speaker 1>Trouble there's a comedy is about demographics a lot of the,

0:38:01.680 --> 0:38:05.000
<v Speaker 1>time and like for, Me i've been very cautious about

0:38:05.000 --> 0:38:06.640
<v Speaker 1>the WAY i talk about it on stage Because i'm

0:38:06.640 --> 0:38:10.080
<v Speaker 1>not like practicing lee bi and, LIKE i have had

0:38:10.160 --> 0:38:11.879
<v Speaker 1>sex with a, man which is more than many people

0:38:11.880 --> 0:38:15.160
<v Speaker 1>who market themselves as bisexual. COMICS a lot of people

0:38:15.360 --> 0:38:17.279
<v Speaker 1>are by and they're, like Because i'm attracted to, people

0:38:17.320 --> 0:38:20.759
<v Speaker 1>but they haven't actually ever like had romantic relationships or those.

0:38:20.840 --> 0:38:24.400
<v Speaker 1>Things and LIKE i have always been very cautious to

0:38:24.560 --> 0:38:28.200
<v Speaker 1>not the term stolen, valor you, know LIKE i don't

0:38:28.239 --> 0:38:30.280
<v Speaker 1>ever want to like feel Like i'm wearing a uniform

0:38:30.320 --> 0:38:33.400
<v Speaker 1>THAT i haven't served in or you, know or, worse

0:38:33.480 --> 0:38:35.200
<v Speaker 1>being a guy who never stops talking about the one

0:38:35.239 --> 0:38:38.440
<v Speaker 1>big game in high, school you. Know and like for,

0:38:38.560 --> 0:38:41.680
<v Speaker 1>ME i Think i've always been much more cautious OF

0:38:42.600 --> 0:38:44.000
<v Speaker 1>i want to talk about it with PEOPLE i care,

0:38:44.040 --> 0:38:45.600
<v Speaker 1>about BUT i want to don't want to be flipping

0:38:45.640 --> 0:38:47.880
<v Speaker 1>about it professionally or on stage or in my public,

0:38:47.920 --> 0:38:50.080
<v Speaker 1>persona because LIKE i don't want people to Think i'm

0:38:50.120 --> 0:38:52.320
<v Speaker 1>just doing it for clout or doing it to like

0:38:52.719 --> 0:38:57.440
<v Speaker 1>get booked or do things like. That and like so

0:38:57.560 --> 0:38:59.560
<v Speaker 1>in comedy sometimes it's been harder to even feel safe

0:38:59.600 --> 0:39:02.520
<v Speaker 1>talking with friends about it because they're just, like you're, like, oh,

0:39:02.760 --> 0:39:04.319
<v Speaker 1>well how are you going to view? Me because we're

0:39:04.320 --> 0:39:07.440
<v Speaker 1>all constantly marketing, ourselves, right and Like i'm very so

0:39:07.520 --> 0:39:10.400
<v Speaker 1>that's been the bigger deal for. ME i think the

0:39:10.640 --> 0:39:12.600
<v Speaker 1>funny you think about it more than anything is like

0:39:13.200 --> 0:39:14.920
<v Speaker 1>if you're a married couple and you go to the

0:39:14.960 --> 0:39:17.560
<v Speaker 1>club and like you dance with a woman and your

0:39:17.560 --> 0:39:19.640
<v Speaker 1>wife kisses that woman and that white woman kisses, you

0:39:19.760 --> 0:39:21.560
<v Speaker 1>and everyone's, like we know what this. Is if you

0:39:21.640 --> 0:39:24.000
<v Speaker 1>do that with a guy at a, club people are, like,

0:39:24.120 --> 0:39:28.399
<v Speaker 1>wait what's going? On or there's not as much there's

0:39:28.480 --> 0:39:31.000
<v Speaker 1>Like i've had people, THERE i don't, know we've we've

0:39:31.040 --> 0:39:32.920
<v Speaker 1>gone dancing, before and like a guy kissed me AND

0:39:32.960 --> 0:39:35.839
<v Speaker 1>i was, like maybe we're gonna do, something and then

0:39:36.200 --> 0:39:38.440
<v Speaker 1>he finds out my wife's there and then just like

0:39:38.600 --> 0:39:41.120
<v Speaker 1>stops talking to me, beforehand And i'm just, Like i'm

0:39:41.120 --> 0:39:43.440
<v Speaker 1>not trying to trick you into being By i'm just

0:39:43.480 --> 0:39:45.160
<v Speaker 1>saying that there is a package deal right now and

0:39:45.280 --> 0:39:49.200
<v Speaker 1>this one's really. Hot, Yeah and like that's been more

0:39:49.239 --> 0:39:52.120
<v Speaker 1>of the interesting distinction for me is just not knowing

0:39:53.080 --> 0:39:55.760
<v Speaker 1>because LIKE I i've been with this is my. Partner

0:39:55.880 --> 0:39:57.320
<v Speaker 1>IF i do, STUFF i want to do stuff with my,

0:39:57.360 --> 0:40:00.799
<v Speaker 1>partner and like that is more difficult BECAUSE i feel

0:40:00.800 --> 0:40:03.600
<v Speaker 1>like there are more openly bisexual women and there are

0:40:03.640 --> 0:40:08.560
<v Speaker 1>a fewer openly bisexual, men AND i don't know how

0:40:08.600 --> 0:40:12.919
<v Speaker 1>to like market. THAT i wish there was like a card,

0:40:13.000 --> 0:40:15.719
<v Speaker 1>system you, know you dance for a, minute here's a,

0:40:15.719 --> 0:40:17.319
<v Speaker 1>card and you're, like, oh here's all the things about.

0:40:17.360 --> 0:40:20.600
<v Speaker 3>YOU i will stamp your. Card, yeah that would be so.

0:40:20.800 --> 0:40:24.040
<v Speaker 1>Refreshing but it's like it's loud and dancing and we're having,

0:40:24.120 --> 0:40:26.440
<v Speaker 1>fun AND i don't know how to like mesh that.

0:40:26.600 --> 0:40:28.239
<v Speaker 1>Vibe AND i also want to be very respectful of,

0:40:28.320 --> 0:40:29.960
<v Speaker 1>people AND i don't want to like lead someone on

0:40:30.040 --> 0:40:31.640
<v Speaker 1>and then have them find, out, oh, gross there's a

0:40:31.680 --> 0:40:34.520
<v Speaker 1>girl at, fault you, know, yes Which i'm just.

0:40:34.520 --> 0:40:36.879
<v Speaker 2>What you were, saying especially if you're dealing with men

0:40:37.040 --> 0:40:41.560
<v Speaker 2>and gay, men that there's a there's there is an

0:40:41.680 --> 0:40:46.160
<v Speaker 2>OPENNESS i think that women have inside of bisexuality that

0:40:46.239 --> 0:40:46.640
<v Speaker 2>men don't.

0:40:46.640 --> 0:40:50.840
<v Speaker 1>Always, yeah, well and LIKE i also understand like part of.

0:40:50.880 --> 0:40:52.319
<v Speaker 1>IT i grew up in The, south and like WHEN

0:40:52.320 --> 0:40:53.880
<v Speaker 1>i went to gay bars and. Stuff gay bars in The,

0:40:53.920 --> 0:40:57.000
<v Speaker 1>SOUTH i mean they're sacred, everywhere but in The south

0:40:57.000 --> 0:40:59.080
<v Speaker 1>there is sacred places, there in places you go to

0:40:59.160 --> 0:41:01.000
<v Speaker 1>be around, community in a place where you're don't really

0:41:01.040 --> 0:41:04.160
<v Speaker 1>safe to be yourself out in, public and, LIKE i

0:41:04.280 --> 0:41:06.759
<v Speaker 1>think that that's really beautiful and really important and, like

0:41:07.000 --> 0:41:10.279
<v Speaker 1>but also knowing your place fitting there is not the,

0:41:10.400 --> 0:41:13.560
<v Speaker 1>same like cause you're, like, WELL i do have an

0:41:13.600 --> 0:41:15.600
<v Speaker 1>outwardly facing relationship THAT i could do in, public and

0:41:15.600 --> 0:41:17.080
<v Speaker 1>no one's gonna give me any shit about, it, right

0:41:17.120 --> 0:41:18.560
<v Speaker 1>no one's gonna yell at, me no one's gonna throw

0:41:18.560 --> 0:41:20.400
<v Speaker 1>a bottle at me UNLESS i do something on, stage you, Know,

0:41:20.680 --> 0:41:24.719
<v Speaker 1>like so there's this thing OF i have enough SO

0:41:24.840 --> 0:41:27.960
<v Speaker 1>i don't need to OR i don't have that it's

0:41:28.040 --> 0:41:30.760
<v Speaker 1>not my place. TOO i think that meant more than anything.

0:41:30.800 --> 0:41:32.400
<v Speaker 1>Else is LIKE i don't know if it's a, Fraud

0:41:32.800 --> 0:41:34.360
<v Speaker 1>like you feel like a fraud or you feel like

0:41:34.920 --> 0:41:39.120
<v Speaker 1>you're like you're you can't promise a, relationship which is

0:41:39.120 --> 0:41:41.880
<v Speaker 1>also a very monogamous minded you, know a thing to

0:41:41.960 --> 0:41:44.440
<v Speaker 1>be LIKE i don't want to just go and have

0:41:44.680 --> 0:41:48.040
<v Speaker 1>fun with a, Boy and you're, like, well what IF

0:41:48.080 --> 0:41:49.680
<v Speaker 1>i let him, on what if he had? FEELINGS i don't,

0:41:49.719 --> 0:41:51.279
<v Speaker 1>know he would be an adult who then worked through.

0:41:51.320 --> 0:41:55.000
<v Speaker 1>That but like there's not unless you have the space

0:41:55.080 --> 0:41:57.200
<v Speaker 1>to work through those things or have those. CONVERSATIONS i

0:41:57.239 --> 0:41:58.879
<v Speaker 1>think there's a lot of what ifs in your head

0:41:59.200 --> 0:42:00.480
<v Speaker 1>and you want to get it. Right you don't want

0:42:00.480 --> 0:42:02.160
<v Speaker 1>to like fuck up with people because people.

0:42:01.920 --> 0:42:04.480
<v Speaker 2>Are, PEOPLE i, know but there's a party that might

0:42:04.520 --> 0:42:07.359
<v Speaker 2>have to fuck, up you know What i'm. Saying it's

0:42:07.400 --> 0:42:09.400
<v Speaker 2>just like those things where like and when we EXPLORE

0:42:10.360 --> 0:42:11.840
<v Speaker 2>i think about it all the. Time like you, Know

0:42:13.160 --> 0:42:15.359
<v Speaker 2>i'm able to give the advice THAT i give BECAUSE

0:42:15.400 --> 0:42:16.960
<v Speaker 2>i fucked, up you know What i'm, Saying Because i've

0:42:17.000 --> 0:42:20.560
<v Speaker 2>had these experiences WHERE i wasn't my best self or

0:42:21.000 --> 0:42:22.400
<v Speaker 2>OR i got things, wrong and SO i can tell

0:42:22.440 --> 0:42:25.040
<v Speaker 2>you how to do. It BUT i find that for

0:42:26.760 --> 0:42:28.640
<v Speaker 2>my in my, community the people who have come out

0:42:28.680 --> 0:42:32.640
<v Speaker 2>to me who are bisexual and are coming, out you,

0:42:32.719 --> 0:42:38.239
<v Speaker 2>know in our. Thirties, uh they are already in hetero facing. Relationships,

0:42:38.719 --> 0:42:42.279
<v Speaker 2>Uh and so there becomes a fear to take up

0:42:42.360 --> 0:42:44.680
<v Speaker 2>space or that they feel like they are taking up

0:42:44.719 --> 0:42:47.080
<v Speaker 2>space and they don't feel like they have the right

0:42:47.200 --> 0:42:50.480
<v Speaker 2>to take up that. Space AND i recognize that that

0:42:50.719 --> 0:42:55.879
<v Speaker 2>is not there or your. Situation that's HOW i think

0:42:56.000 --> 0:43:00.640
<v Speaker 2>that socially we respond to my, sexuality but that is

0:43:00.680 --> 0:43:02.960
<v Speaker 2>the bisexual, Experience like that is part of the bisexual.

0:43:03.000 --> 0:43:05.279
<v Speaker 2>Experience part of it can be That i'm in a

0:43:05.320 --> 0:43:08.000
<v Speaker 2>hetero facing, relationship but that doesn't mean That i'm any less.

0:43:08.080 --> 0:43:11.000
<v Speaker 2>Bisexual AND i kind of wish that there was more

0:43:11.200 --> 0:43:15.000
<v Speaker 2>nuance in that, conversation that there was space for that to,

0:43:16.360 --> 0:43:19.000
<v Speaker 2>exist and that people who are Like i'm you, KNOW

0:43:19.520 --> 0:43:22.759
<v Speaker 2>i just like same, sex full gay, man like a,

0:43:22.840 --> 0:43:26.239
<v Speaker 2>woman full gay, person that community was a little more

0:43:27.239 --> 0:43:30.960
<v Speaker 2>a lot more open to the, granular to the nuance

0:43:31.120 --> 0:43:31.799
<v Speaker 2>and not as.

0:43:32.760 --> 0:43:43.120
<v Speaker 1>EXCLUSIVE i would go dance at gay bars and like

0:43:43.480 --> 0:43:46.440
<v Speaker 1>that to me is enough sometimes because like that's the

0:43:46.960 --> 0:43:50.440
<v Speaker 1>sex is not always the end all what you want for,

0:43:50.600 --> 0:43:53.279
<v Speaker 1>me like being around, people having a chance to be

0:43:53.480 --> 0:43:55.960
<v Speaker 1>like dance and like have someone dance on me and

0:43:56.160 --> 0:44:00.719
<v Speaker 1>like pay attention to, me like flirt with me in

0:44:00.760 --> 0:44:03.759
<v Speaker 1>a way that women do not flirt like they just

0:44:03.880 --> 0:44:05.160
<v Speaker 1>it is not the same kind of.

0:44:05.200 --> 0:44:07.399
<v Speaker 3>Flirting it is not the. Same it does not make

0:44:07.480 --> 0:44:10.640
<v Speaker 3>you feel like you have beautiful, eyes you. Know, yeah

0:44:10.960 --> 0:44:12.920
<v Speaker 3>and like so that would be it.

0:44:13.000 --> 0:44:14.600
<v Speaker 1>Was kind of fun for me when we first moved,

0:44:14.640 --> 0:44:16.520
<v Speaker 1>here is LIKE i just go and be, like all,

0:44:16.640 --> 0:44:19.120
<v Speaker 1>right she's working till. Eleven i'm gonna go dance.

0:44:19.000 --> 0:44:19.919
<v Speaker 3>And want to would feel?

0:44:20.160 --> 0:44:22.560
<v Speaker 1>It, yeah and like just have someone buy you a

0:44:22.640 --> 0:44:26.760
<v Speaker 1>drink and talk to a guy and like eventually they

0:44:26.880 --> 0:44:29.160
<v Speaker 1>notice you have a wedding ring and they're like explain,

0:44:29.239 --> 0:44:32.520
<v Speaker 1>that and you're like and they're a handful of times

0:44:32.520 --> 0:44:34.879
<v Speaker 1>people are, like, SORRY i don't do buy. It i'm,

0:44:34.880 --> 0:44:37.640
<v Speaker 1>like all, right that's, fine, whatever thanks for. DANCING i

0:44:37.680 --> 0:44:41.520
<v Speaker 1>don't do. Buy such a wild. STATEMENT i, mean that couldn't.

0:44:41.560 --> 0:44:42.279
<v Speaker 3>Mean here's the other.

0:44:42.320 --> 0:44:45.920
<v Speaker 1>Thing it's entirely possible THAT i am absolutely someone you

0:44:46.040 --> 0:44:47.200
<v Speaker 1>dance with and not someone you take.

0:44:47.239 --> 0:44:49.200
<v Speaker 3>Home and that is maybe the way to let me

0:44:49.239 --> 0:44:51.680
<v Speaker 3>down is, GO i don't do buy and that's. FINE i.

0:44:53.200 --> 0:44:56.400
<v Speaker 1>Am absolutely someone's dream boat AND i am someone else's

0:44:56.520 --> 0:44:57.399
<v Speaker 1>dingy and that's.

0:44:57.400 --> 0:44:58.160
<v Speaker 2>Okay that's all of.

0:44:58.239 --> 0:44:58.319
<v Speaker 3>Us.

0:44:58.520 --> 0:45:00.680
<v Speaker 2>Yeah well, question so now let me This because you

0:45:00.719 --> 0:45:02.920
<v Speaker 2>did mention that you have a, girlfriend you and your

0:45:02.960 --> 0:45:04.000
<v Speaker 2>wife are dating somebody to.

0:45:04.080 --> 0:45:04.960
<v Speaker 3>Yes so what?

0:45:07.080 --> 0:45:12.840
<v Speaker 2>What how does how does that impact your exploring gr bisexuality.

0:45:13.800 --> 0:45:16.880
<v Speaker 1>IT i, MEAN i feel like if you are in

0:45:16.920 --> 0:45:19.719
<v Speaker 1>a relationship with one, person you probably only have time

0:45:19.800 --> 0:45:22.359
<v Speaker 1>for that. Relationship, yeah and if you're a relationship with two,

0:45:22.440 --> 0:45:26.640
<v Speaker 1>people you barely have time for those two. Relationshipsmilius like

0:45:26.760 --> 0:45:31.840
<v Speaker 1>WE I i we have a, girlfriend absolutely wonderful, person very,

0:45:31.880 --> 0:45:37.840
<v Speaker 1>funny comedian and also has LONG, covid so, uh we

0:45:38.760 --> 0:45:41.120
<v Speaker 1>like a lot of our. Time we are very careful

0:45:41.120 --> 0:45:44.320
<v Speaker 1>about figuring out what we're doing and like mitigating large

0:45:44.360 --> 0:45:47.120
<v Speaker 1>crowds and like making sure that like if she gets,

0:45:47.160 --> 0:45:48.960
<v Speaker 1>exhausted that can like wipe out a couple of, days

0:45:49.040 --> 0:45:50.799
<v Speaker 1>and like there's a lot of the stuff that goes into,

0:45:50.880 --> 0:45:54.040
<v Speaker 1>that so it's taken the focus off of, it, huh

0:45:54.960 --> 0:45:58.239
<v Speaker 1>but also like it's still an omnipresent thing that's kind

0:45:58.280 --> 0:46:00.920
<v Speaker 1>of there and then just, ENOUGH i think it's like

0:46:01.520 --> 0:46:04.719
<v Speaker 1>it's helped me navigate as be a better partner as

0:46:04.760 --> 0:46:06.320
<v Speaker 1>we all figure out how to navigate some of the

0:46:06.880 --> 0:46:11.480
<v Speaker 1>more complicated elements of like a queer, relationship which is

0:46:11.560 --> 0:46:14.680
<v Speaker 1>Like polly is a form of like especially if you're

0:46:14.719 --> 0:46:16.280
<v Speaker 1>in a triad.

0:46:16.080 --> 0:46:17.080
<v Speaker 3>That is a form of a queer.

0:46:17.120 --> 0:46:20.040
<v Speaker 1>Relationship, absolutely and LIKE i think it gave me some

0:46:20.480 --> 0:46:22.719
<v Speaker 1>interesting empathy when we were figuring out how to talk

0:46:22.760 --> 0:46:24.680
<v Speaker 1>to like our parents about, it uh. Huh and, like

0:46:25.360 --> 0:46:27.200
<v Speaker 1>interestingly enough never had to come out to my. Parents

0:46:27.239 --> 0:46:29.000
<v Speaker 1>they saw me do stand. Up they MENTIONED i mentioned

0:46:29.040 --> 0:46:30.840
<v Speaker 1>like kissing. Guys they were, like we figured it.

0:46:30.920 --> 0:46:32.080
<v Speaker 2>Out we.

0:46:32.200 --> 0:46:34.759
<v Speaker 1>Did we send an email where, like we have a,

0:46:34.880 --> 0:46:38.480
<v Speaker 1>friend you've met. Her she actually gave you her sit

0:46:38.520 --> 0:46:40.840
<v Speaker 1>of been role, recipe WHICH i learned. LATER i was,

0:46:40.880 --> 0:46:43.880
<v Speaker 1>like is that where you felt betrayed like? That you were,

0:46:43.960 --> 0:46:46.000
<v Speaker 1>like we met her and we had her baked goods

0:46:46.320 --> 0:46:49.640
<v Speaker 1>before we found out you were in. Love so we

0:46:49.719 --> 0:46:52.640
<v Speaker 1>sent like an an. Email we're about the. Holidays we were, like,

0:46:52.680 --> 0:46:53.960
<v Speaker 1>hey we're trying to figure, out you, know if we're

0:46:53.960 --> 0:46:56.120
<v Speaker 1>coming home For thanksgiving or anything like. That if we,

0:46:56.200 --> 0:46:59.000
<v Speaker 1>do we're bringing this. Person and you know that Was

0:46:59.160 --> 0:47:01.759
<v Speaker 1>it was. Interesting parents have heard me talk, about you,

0:47:01.840 --> 0:47:04.000
<v Speaker 1>know being, queer and my parents have heard me talk

0:47:04.040 --> 0:47:06.400
<v Speaker 1>about being by never had a single thing to say about.

0:47:06.400 --> 0:47:08.800
<v Speaker 1>It when we came out Of, polly my mom was.

0:47:08.920 --> 0:47:09.520
<v Speaker 3>Heartbroken.

0:47:09.880 --> 0:47:13.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, WHY i think she's a very traditional view of,

0:47:14.080 --> 0:47:15.160
<v Speaker 1>marriage WHICH i totally.

0:47:15.239 --> 0:47:19.640
<v Speaker 3>UNDERSTAND i think because she's always wanted a daughter and

0:47:19.719 --> 0:47:20.880
<v Speaker 3>my wife is the daughter of her.

0:47:20.920 --> 0:47:25.520
<v Speaker 1>Eye AND i think it's also if you don't know

0:47:25.600 --> 0:47:27.840
<v Speaker 1>if the relationship's, HEALTHY i think it's really easy to

0:47:28.040 --> 0:47:29.600
<v Speaker 1>assume that means that something's really.

0:47:29.600 --> 0:47:31.959
<v Speaker 3>Shitty, sure you. Know we were, like, well why would

0:47:31.960 --> 0:47:32.439
<v Speaker 3>you need another?

0:47:32.520 --> 0:47:35.239
<v Speaker 1>Person and like the way we ended up dating was

0:47:36.280 --> 0:47:38.960
<v Speaker 1>our girlfriend was on tour and she stayed with us

0:47:39.000 --> 0:47:41.239
<v Speaker 1>for a couple of days and we all just vibed really,

0:47:41.280 --> 0:47:43.600
<v Speaker 1>good and like we had had a long standing thing

0:47:43.640 --> 0:47:44.920
<v Speaker 1>where if you're like out of, town you want to

0:47:44.920 --> 0:47:46.560
<v Speaker 1>make out with, somebody you make out with. Somebody, Yeah

0:47:46.560 --> 0:47:47.839
<v Speaker 1>and she was, like did you guys ever make? OUT

0:47:47.840 --> 0:47:49.680
<v Speaker 1>i was, like absolutely, not that's just a. Friend she was,

0:47:49.719 --> 0:47:50.719
<v Speaker 1>like you guys have the best.

0:47:50.840 --> 0:47:51.080
<v Speaker 2>Energy.

0:47:51.160 --> 0:47:53.120
<v Speaker 3>Know it was, like you guys have the best. Energy

0:47:53.360 --> 0:47:55.400
<v Speaker 3>and over the course of like six, months we slowly like.

0:47:55.520 --> 0:47:57.799
<v Speaker 1>Talked and kind of figured out if we wanted to try,

0:47:57.840 --> 0:48:00.440
<v Speaker 1>it and like it came together very nat really and

0:48:00.880 --> 0:48:03.680
<v Speaker 1>through a lot of conversations and some weird long distance.

0:48:03.920 --> 0:48:08.000
<v Speaker 3>Drives that's its own long, story but it's like we took.

0:48:07.880 --> 0:48:10.160
<v Speaker 1>A lot of time figuring out what it was before

0:48:10.200 --> 0:48:12.879
<v Speaker 1>we even talked about it with our friends or talked

0:48:12.880 --> 0:48:16.279
<v Speaker 1>about it with our parents and with their. Family and

0:48:16.480 --> 0:48:19.799
<v Speaker 1>LIKE i introduced her to my brother and my sister

0:48:19.880 --> 0:48:23.759
<v Speaker 1>in law first and they were completely on. Board and

0:48:23.920 --> 0:48:26.279
<v Speaker 1>then like we were, like, okay, well we talked to

0:48:26.360 --> 0:48:28.239
<v Speaker 1>my brother and. Sister we were, like how would you

0:48:28.400 --> 0:48:31.000
<v Speaker 1>tell the? Folks you, know we talked to my wife's.

0:48:31.719 --> 0:48:33.560
<v Speaker 1>Siblings how are you talk about?

0:48:33.600 --> 0:48:33.759
<v Speaker 3>It you?

0:48:33.800 --> 0:48:35.200
<v Speaker 1>Know and we came out to them and it was

0:48:35.360 --> 0:48:39.520
<v Speaker 1>just it wasn't. Ugly it was, MAN i almost wish

0:48:39.560 --> 0:48:44.080
<v Speaker 1>they were. Mad they were just. Hurt it was like

0:48:44.440 --> 0:48:47.160
<v Speaker 1>THEY'VE i think they it broke their idea of what

0:48:47.480 --> 0:48:51.440
<v Speaker 1>our relationship, was and like they were. Worried they for,

0:48:51.520 --> 0:48:53.440
<v Speaker 1>them marriage is very sacred and they were worried that

0:48:53.560 --> 0:48:55.759
<v Speaker 1>we were throwing.

0:48:55.520 --> 0:48:57.920
<v Speaker 3>That away in the name of like.

0:48:58.040 --> 0:49:01.719
<v Speaker 1>Hedonism AND i was, like you, know hedonism is a

0:49:01.760 --> 0:49:03.680
<v Speaker 1>lot easier if you're not dating someone with an exhaustion.

0:49:03.800 --> 0:49:07.080
<v Speaker 1>DISORDER i was, like if you want to, believe, Like

0:49:07.120 --> 0:49:10.760
<v Speaker 1>i'm just, saying like the the the LONG covid absolutely

0:49:10.760 --> 0:49:11.560
<v Speaker 1>means we're in it for love of the.

0:49:11.640 --> 0:49:13.479
<v Speaker 3>Game you. Know this isn't just about.

0:49:13.520 --> 0:49:16.239
<v Speaker 1>Partying this isn't there's something else that goes into. It

0:49:17.360 --> 0:49:20.040
<v Speaker 1>but it was interesting thinking, that like IF i had

0:49:20.120 --> 0:49:22.200
<v Speaker 1>never gotten with my wife AND i had ended up

0:49:22.239 --> 0:49:25.080
<v Speaker 1>dating a, dude my parents would have not had a

0:49:25.120 --> 0:49:28.960
<v Speaker 1>problem with. It it was it's it's the poll. Monogamy

0:49:29.160 --> 0:49:33.040
<v Speaker 1>it's the, WELL i, mean like The, bible if you

0:49:33.120 --> 0:49:35.960
<v Speaker 1>look O Old, testament there's a lot of polly. Relationships

0:49:36.000 --> 0:49:37.239
<v Speaker 1>Maybe King.

0:49:37.280 --> 0:49:40.239
<v Speaker 3>David was polly and. Murderous so like there's a lot

0:49:40.280 --> 0:49:41.439
<v Speaker 3>of a lot.

0:49:41.320 --> 0:49:42.880
<v Speaker 2>Of things that make sense that people get pissed them.

0:49:42.880 --> 0:49:43.759
<v Speaker 2>Out but how do ya?

0:49:45.080 --> 0:49:47.399
<v Speaker 1>Now they're fine with? THAT i don't, know they're, fine

0:49:47.440 --> 0:49:50.080
<v Speaker 1>but they're They they love, her they think she's. Great

0:49:51.200 --> 0:49:53.200
<v Speaker 1>they came and visited. It my parents came and visited

0:49:53.239 --> 0:49:56.040
<v Speaker 1>For christmas last year and like Had christmas with us

0:49:56.080 --> 0:49:58.719
<v Speaker 1>all and we've cooked for, them and like my dad

0:49:58.800 --> 0:50:02.720
<v Speaker 1>trades books with, her and she she made my MOM'S

0:50:02.920 --> 0:50:04.400
<v Speaker 1>i think, honestly this is where she went over my.

0:50:04.480 --> 0:50:07.480
<v Speaker 1>Mom my mom has this like chest. Pie do you

0:50:07.520 --> 0:50:10.160
<v Speaker 1>know chest pie? Is it's like an egg custard. Pie,

0:50:10.280 --> 0:50:14.000
<v Speaker 1>ok fucking. Amazing my mom when she was dating my,

0:50:14.160 --> 0:50:18.440
<v Speaker 1>dad reverse engineered a chest pie recipe from his memory

0:50:18.600 --> 0:50:21.480
<v Speaker 1>of boy scout, camp and like she made it from

0:50:21.560 --> 0:50:23.560
<v Speaker 1>scratch based off his sense memories of what it.

0:50:23.640 --> 0:50:29.080
<v Speaker 3>Tasted, like it's in the family. Cookbook. Alison their girlfriend.

0:50:29.640 --> 0:50:31.960
<v Speaker 1>Like made the chest, pie made like four versions of,

0:50:32.040 --> 0:50:34.560
<v Speaker 1>it and then was, like which is these tastes the

0:50:34.600 --> 0:50:36.200
<v Speaker 1>most like your. MOM'S i was like this, one she

0:50:36.320 --> 0:50:37.880
<v Speaker 1>was like, Great and then she gave it to my,

0:50:37.960 --> 0:50:44.240
<v Speaker 1>mom who was like all. Right you know With baptist

0:50:44.320 --> 0:50:46.000
<v Speaker 1>women sometimes or Not, baptist she's not.

0:50:46.040 --> 0:50:48.760
<v Speaker 3>Bad She's. Christian she left The baptist church because their misogynistic.

0:50:48.760 --> 0:50:50.080
<v Speaker 3>Castles but LIKE i.

0:50:50.080 --> 0:50:52.480
<v Speaker 1>Think with when you're stepping into the realms of traditional

0:50:52.600 --> 0:50:56.400
<v Speaker 1>religious families or traditional family sometimes the best way to

0:50:56.680 --> 0:50:59.200
<v Speaker 1>get involved is to be, like look at this.

0:50:59.320 --> 0:51:03.759
<v Speaker 2>Pie, yeah, food foods. Heart how long did it take

0:51:03.840 --> 0:51:07.359
<v Speaker 2>before y'all got? There, like how many much between telling

0:51:07.719 --> 0:51:09.520
<v Speaker 2>your parents and this chest?

0:51:09.600 --> 0:51:13.759
<v Speaker 3>Pie? Ah that was a, year it, WAS i mean

0:51:13.840 --> 0:51:15.400
<v Speaker 3>like the first it.

0:51:15.560 --> 0:51:17.360
<v Speaker 1>Was it was hard the first, Time like when we

0:51:17.440 --> 0:51:19.279
<v Speaker 1>first came out about it and talked to them about,

0:51:19.320 --> 0:51:22.080
<v Speaker 1>it it was like a weird couple of. Months, yeah

0:51:22.920 --> 0:51:27.400
<v Speaker 1>my dad is kind of a, hippie you, know like

0:51:27.560 --> 0:51:30.399
<v Speaker 1>he he changed religious denominations because he wanted one where

0:51:30.480 --> 0:51:32.200
<v Speaker 1>it was like A christian denomination that allowed for the

0:51:32.239 --> 0:51:36.320
<v Speaker 1>Possibility god doesn't. Exist he's fun and my mom was

0:51:36.400 --> 0:51:39.239
<v Speaker 1>a little bit more. Traditional but also like they've both

0:51:39.320 --> 0:51:41.719
<v Speaker 1>worked and like gay rights and aids outreached in The

0:51:41.800 --> 0:51:44.640
<v Speaker 1>south and like they're they're very open minded people who

0:51:44.680 --> 0:51:46.400
<v Speaker 1>were like they're not one of those like love The.

0:51:46.440 --> 0:51:46.960
<v Speaker 3>CENTER i hate this.

0:51:47.120 --> 0:51:50.279
<v Speaker 1>End, yeah like gay people Are, Christians like they're so

0:51:50.440 --> 0:51:52.800
<v Speaker 1>like it's very. Interesting it was just it was just

0:51:53.320 --> 0:51:55.360
<v Speaker 1>that that it was like a betrayal of the what

0:51:55.560 --> 0:51:58.080
<v Speaker 1>they thought the marriage and love. Was and THEN i

0:51:58.120 --> 0:52:00.200
<v Speaker 1>think over, time As i've talked about, IT i feel

0:52:00.239 --> 0:52:03.000
<v Speaker 1>like my dad's gotten a BETTER i think he understands

0:52:03.239 --> 0:52:05.719
<v Speaker 1>the desire in a long term relationship to have one

0:52:05.760 --> 0:52:08.719
<v Speaker 1>person who wants to go to the. Movies, yes like

0:52:08.880 --> 0:52:11.880
<v Speaker 1>sometimes the nice thing about having two partners is, that

0:52:12.080 --> 0:52:14.240
<v Speaker 1>like one doesn't want to fucking do, Shit.

0:52:14.120 --> 0:52:16.960
<v Speaker 2>Tony absolutely exactly. Exactly you, know it.

0:52:17.000 --> 0:52:20.520
<v Speaker 1>Takes a lot of sometimes probably takes the the pressure

0:52:20.719 --> 0:52:22.400
<v Speaker 1>off of a relationship to be everything to.

0:52:22.480 --> 0:52:25.800
<v Speaker 3>EVERYONE i and my mom is, like why would you

0:52:25.920 --> 0:52:28.400
<v Speaker 3>not want everyone to be everything to? Ever likes too?

0:52:28.480 --> 0:52:30.480
<v Speaker 3>Much too? Much that's. Why AND i get.

0:52:30.560 --> 0:52:33.680
<v Speaker 1>That, YEAH i mean like, it there's ship about it that,

0:52:33.719 --> 0:52:35.839
<v Speaker 1>sucks there's stuff about it that's been. Painful but Also

0:52:35.920 --> 0:52:40.160
<v Speaker 1>i've had the most in, depth like honest conversations with

0:52:40.239 --> 0:52:42.920
<v Speaker 1>my dad about like my parents marriage and like the

0:52:43.000 --> 0:52:47.080
<v Speaker 1>things that like he wished he, knew and like it's

0:52:47.680 --> 0:52:49.800
<v Speaker 1>in many ways it's made me closer to both of

0:52:49.920 --> 0:52:52.200
<v Speaker 1>my parents because for the first TIME i have to

0:52:52.239 --> 0:52:56.000
<v Speaker 1>actually have these conversations about, like, Yeah i've always known

0:52:56.040 --> 0:52:58.239
<v Speaker 1>marriages like you guys, together so like the.

0:52:58.280 --> 0:53:01.880
<v Speaker 2>Default we all default to work and the polyamorous of

0:53:01.920 --> 0:53:02.880
<v Speaker 2>it forces you to have.

0:53:02.960 --> 0:53:06.359
<v Speaker 1>Conversations, absolutely you have to accept that it's worth having

0:53:06.400 --> 0:53:09.160
<v Speaker 1>the painful conversation of being, like, hey this is where we're.

0:53:09.160 --> 0:53:10.600
<v Speaker 1>At but the reason we're telling you is because we

0:53:10.600 --> 0:53:12.200
<v Speaker 1>love you and you want you to know what's in our. Lives,

0:53:12.400 --> 0:53:14.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah AND i think that was the thing that for

0:53:14.800 --> 0:53:18.759
<v Speaker 1>me was the, hardest is us saying we love you

0:53:18.960 --> 0:53:20.920
<v Speaker 1>enough to tell you this thing we know is initially

0:53:20.960 --> 0:53:23.279
<v Speaker 1>going to. Suck there's no way we're going to tell

0:53:23.280 --> 0:53:25.120
<v Speaker 1>you this and you're going to be like fuck ya.

0:53:25.760 --> 0:53:28.960
<v Speaker 1>Her you Know Simon roles are, incredible which they are

0:53:29.040 --> 0:53:29.920
<v Speaker 1>Incredible Simon.

0:53:29.760 --> 0:53:30.560
<v Speaker 3>Roles my mom loved.

0:53:30.600 --> 0:53:34.640
<v Speaker 1>Them but like, also and you, know if you're thinking

0:53:34.680 --> 0:53:36.560
<v Speaker 1>about telling your parents that you're in a relationship that

0:53:36.560 --> 0:53:38.520
<v Speaker 1>they're not going to, UNDERSTAND i think it's important to

0:53:38.560 --> 0:53:40.399
<v Speaker 1>say the Reason i'm telling you this is BECAUSE i love.

0:53:40.440 --> 0:53:42.640
<v Speaker 1>YOU i don't want those secrets from, you AND i

0:53:42.640 --> 0:53:45.400
<v Speaker 1>would rather in the short, term have there be this

0:53:45.520 --> 0:53:48.120
<v Speaker 1>pain and this, disconnect because that, pain in this disconnect

0:53:48.239 --> 0:53:50.880
<v Speaker 1>is a roadway to a broader conversation that's going to

0:53:50.920 --> 0:53:53.239
<v Speaker 1>help us both understand each other. Better and you, know

0:53:53.360 --> 0:53:55.480
<v Speaker 1>maybe you're going to be LIKE i understand here are

0:53:55.480 --> 0:53:57.279
<v Speaker 1>the places, that LIKE i wish my marriage had been.

0:53:57.280 --> 0:53:59.520
<v Speaker 1>Different here are the places THAT i think your marriage

0:53:59.520 --> 0:54:02.200
<v Speaker 1>is going to be we because you're doing, this and

0:54:02.440 --> 0:54:04.960
<v Speaker 1>LIKE i want you To like for my daddy was just, like,

0:54:05.040 --> 0:54:07.840
<v Speaker 1>LOOK i respect all of. YOU i think you've clearly

0:54:07.920 --> 0:54:09.719
<v Speaker 1>thought this. Through here are the things THAT i think

0:54:09.760 --> 0:54:12.560
<v Speaker 1>you haven't, considered AND i want a bare minimum to

0:54:12.600 --> 0:54:14.960
<v Speaker 1>be able to say. That AND i was, like, absolutely

0:54:15.040 --> 0:54:17.320
<v Speaker 1>thanks for even trusting me enough to think THAT i

0:54:17.360 --> 0:54:20.000
<v Speaker 1>could hear, it you, know and it's it's been long

0:54:20.040 --> 0:54:21.320
<v Speaker 1>and it's been, difficult.

0:54:22.440 --> 0:54:24.480
<v Speaker 3>BUT i, mean, ultimately if your parents want to know,

0:54:24.560 --> 0:54:25.800
<v Speaker 3>you they're going to know who you.

0:54:25.920 --> 0:54:28.600
<v Speaker 1>Are and, like sometimes your parents are going to be

0:54:28.680 --> 0:54:30.439
<v Speaker 1>LIKE i don't want to know who you, are, Sure

0:54:30.840 --> 0:54:33.400
<v Speaker 1>and if that's the, case we'll fucking with, family.

0:54:34.200 --> 0:54:36.000
<v Speaker 2>New, family fund your chosen. FAMILY i think that that's

0:54:36.640 --> 0:54:40.000
<v Speaker 2>so a smart step out is that love is not

0:54:40.120 --> 0:54:43.920
<v Speaker 2>always roses and and fairy. Death that love also is

0:54:44.000 --> 0:54:48.600
<v Speaker 2>difficult in that it requires really transparent conversations that may

0:54:48.640 --> 0:54:51.520
<v Speaker 2>not be easy to, have but it's still love and

0:54:51.680 --> 0:54:54.200
<v Speaker 2>there's still an intention of, love and that you might

0:54:54.280 --> 0:54:56.799
<v Speaker 2>have to give somebody time by showing who you, are

0:54:56.920 --> 0:54:58.320
<v Speaker 2>but that that ultimately is.

0:54:58.680 --> 0:55:02.719
<v Speaker 3>Freeing, yea THE i, UH i know it comes back

0:55:02.719 --> 0:55:03.160
<v Speaker 3>to banking a.

0:55:03.200 --> 0:55:06.360
<v Speaker 1>Lot but like if you make, bread you have to

0:55:06.440 --> 0:55:08.960
<v Speaker 1>like put yeast in at the right temperature and sometimes

0:55:09.040 --> 0:55:11.680
<v Speaker 1>it doesn't, rise and sometimes it comes out fluffy and. Perfect,

0:55:11.880 --> 0:55:14.319
<v Speaker 1>Yeah and like conversations with your family are like making.

0:55:14.360 --> 0:55:17.040
<v Speaker 1>Bread sometimes you're following a recipe you know very well

0:55:17.080 --> 0:55:19.040
<v Speaker 1>and it comes out fucked up and you're, like oh,

0:55:19.160 --> 0:55:22.120
<v Speaker 1>no yeah, yeah but like a bare, minimum it still

0:55:22.160 --> 0:55:23.960
<v Speaker 1>looks like a, loaf and you over time you have

0:55:24.080 --> 0:55:26.600
<v Speaker 1>more opportunities to like make that loaf again and have

0:55:26.680 --> 0:55:29.680
<v Speaker 1>those conversations again, slowly like make it makes sense and

0:55:29.760 --> 0:55:30.160
<v Speaker 1>make it more.

0:55:30.239 --> 0:55:32.600
<v Speaker 2>Human it won't just be one, conversation, yeah that'll be.

0:55:32.719 --> 0:55:35.279
<v Speaker 2>MULTIPLE i love. That thank you so much for being,

0:55:35.320 --> 0:55:36.439
<v Speaker 2>Here thank you so much for having.

0:55:36.480 --> 0:55:37.200
<v Speaker 3>Me this is so much.

0:55:37.239 --> 0:55:38.719
<v Speaker 2>Fun this was so much. Fun i'll talk to you.

0:55:38.840 --> 0:55:48.680
<v Speaker 2>Soon thank you. Bye, well you know we're hose here

0:55:48.680 --> 0:55:51.480
<v Speaker 2>About hose with, heart so before we part, ways let

0:55:51.560 --> 0:55:53.719
<v Speaker 2>me speak to. Yours, wait first TIME i tell, you

0:55:54.560 --> 0:55:56.200
<v Speaker 2>was it at the topic episode THAT i told you

0:55:56.239 --> 0:55:59.880
<v Speaker 2>about getting my balls? Tapped or was IT i forget

0:56:00.120 --> 0:56:03.600
<v Speaker 2>it was during this. Conversation, Anyways So i'm an, update

0:56:03.960 --> 0:56:06.960
<v Speaker 2>which is that the other DAY i was at the

0:56:07.120 --> 0:56:11.920
<v Speaker 2>gym AND i saw the guy who in the steam,

0:56:12.000 --> 0:56:13.920
<v Speaker 2>room which not at the, gym was like at some

0:56:14.040 --> 0:56:16.640
<v Speaker 2>other spot tap my balls for the first, time AND

0:56:16.800 --> 0:56:19.839
<v Speaker 2>i swear to. You for like twenty minutes watching him walk,

0:56:19.880 --> 0:56:22.120
<v Speaker 2>AROUND i was, like DO i go tell him, that

0:56:22.320 --> 0:56:25.360
<v Speaker 2>like he's the first one that tapped my, balls and

0:56:25.520 --> 0:56:28.279
<v Speaker 2>like thank you for unlocking something in. Me but THEN

0:56:28.320 --> 0:56:30.040
<v Speaker 2>i was like, THAT i was, like how WOULD i

0:56:30.080 --> 0:56:32.560
<v Speaker 2>feel somebody came up to me and Said but THEN

0:56:32.600 --> 0:56:35.000
<v Speaker 2>i was, like it's. ME i would feel, like oh,

0:56:35.280 --> 0:56:38.560
<v Speaker 2>Yay but that's BECAUSE i do. THIS i don't know

0:56:38.880 --> 0:56:44.040
<v Speaker 2>if if, him a random stranger from a, steamroom would appreciate,

0:56:44.120 --> 0:56:45.520
<v Speaker 2>that BUT i knew it was him because of his neck.

0:56:45.560 --> 0:56:48.000
<v Speaker 2>TATTOOS i was, like that's in his. Height he was

0:56:48.040 --> 0:56:50.160
<v Speaker 2>like six' four and had like, neck TATTOOS and i,

0:56:50.239 --> 0:56:54.200
<v Speaker 2>was like that's it's you one of those skinny tall

0:56:54.560 --> 0:56:56.399
<v Speaker 2>which my FRIENDS and i talk. ABOUT this i don't

0:56:56.400 --> 0:56:57.680
<v Speaker 2>know why this is host, with heart but it is

0:56:57.840 --> 0:57:02.880
<v Speaker 2>when they're tall, and skinny goes, Dixonby, Swinging okay and that.

0:57:03.000 --> 0:57:04.880
<v Speaker 2>WAS true i will also, Say this i'll, add this

0:57:05.120 --> 0:57:08.480
<v Speaker 2>which is THAT he, i like this is years ago

0:57:08.560 --> 0:57:10.520
<v Speaker 2>that he tapped. My, walls yeah AND then i think

0:57:10.560 --> 0:57:13.399
<v Speaker 2>we found each Other on INSTAGRAM and i don't think

0:57:13.440 --> 0:57:18.280
<v Speaker 2>he KNEW what i did for, a living but he

0:57:18.880 --> 0:57:22.440
<v Speaker 2>wanted to help me start my only fans page or

0:57:22.520 --> 0:57:25.880
<v Speaker 2>an only dance page and get into like. Sex WORK

0:57:25.920 --> 0:57:29.040
<v Speaker 2>and i, was, like oh that's. So lovely that's just

0:57:29.320 --> 0:57:32.160
<v Speaker 2>NOT what. I do but it was, VERY like i

0:57:32.240 --> 0:57:34.000
<v Speaker 2>feel you could start your own only. FANS page i

0:57:34.000 --> 0:57:36.120
<v Speaker 2>don't KNOW why i would need somebody to start an

0:57:36.160 --> 0:57:37.919
<v Speaker 2>only dance page. For me it was like he wanted

0:57:37.960 --> 0:57:39.760
<v Speaker 2>to be like a little bit of, my PIMP and

0:57:39.840 --> 0:57:45.360
<v Speaker 2>i was like not. Into that, so anyways let me

0:57:45.480 --> 0:57:47.600
<v Speaker 2>talk to you ABOUT what i Learned From. John. Michael

0:57:49.440 --> 0:57:52.520
<v Speaker 2>well we talked a lot about being by and bisexuality

0:57:52.880 --> 0:57:55.240
<v Speaker 2>and what does it mean to be bisexual when you

0:57:55.360 --> 0:57:58.120
<v Speaker 2>are in a hetero. Presenting relationship and one thing that

0:57:58.160 --> 0:57:59.680
<v Speaker 2>stood Out When john, MICHAEL said i don't want to

0:57:59.680 --> 0:58:02.640
<v Speaker 2>feel like wearing A uniform i haven't. Served IN and i,

0:58:02.720 --> 0:58:07.240
<v Speaker 2>think that's, you know a common FROM what, i hear

0:58:07.320 --> 0:58:12.640
<v Speaker 2>a very common feeling amongst those who are by and

0:58:12.800 --> 0:58:17.400
<v Speaker 2>come out, maybe later or are in hetero. Presenting relationships

0:58:17.440 --> 0:58:19.520
<v Speaker 2>it's like not wanting to take. Up space BUT as

0:58:19.600 --> 0:58:22.080
<v Speaker 2>i Said To, john Michael and i'll say, AGAIN here

0:58:22.960 --> 0:58:24.640
<v Speaker 2>i think we have to expand with the with the

0:58:25.160 --> 0:58:28.640
<v Speaker 2>what what what a queer experience? Looks like what a

0:58:28.720 --> 0:58:31.520
<v Speaker 2>bisexual experience? Looks like and just because someone is in

0:58:31.520 --> 0:58:34.320
<v Speaker 2>a hetero presenting relationship and, you know may not have

0:58:34.440 --> 0:58:37.920
<v Speaker 2>to deal with the same hang ups of, you know

0:58:38.480 --> 0:58:41.040
<v Speaker 2>YOU am i going to be safe showing up to

0:58:41.120 --> 0:58:43.760
<v Speaker 2>this space or? That space there are still things that

0:58:43.800 --> 0:58:46.400
<v Speaker 2>you're navigating and and a lot of it, is internal

0:58:46.480 --> 0:58:50.360
<v Speaker 2>but it. Still MATTERS and i think that you know

0:58:51.000 --> 0:58:54.280
<v Speaker 2>it should be whether you've had the sex, or not

0:58:54.880 --> 0:58:58.040
<v Speaker 2>even if you're just attracted. TO somebody i think you

0:58:58.120 --> 0:59:00.280
<v Speaker 2>get to. OWN it i think you get. TO it

0:59:00.440 --> 0:59:02.960
<v Speaker 2>i think you get to own it FULLY and i

0:59:03.040 --> 0:59:05.520
<v Speaker 2>think you get to take. Up Space and i'm not, gonna,

0:59:05.560 --> 0:59:08.440
<v Speaker 2>Say listen i'm. NOT naive i know that there are

0:59:08.600 --> 0:59:12.640
<v Speaker 2>plenty of gays and queers who would disagree and would, be,

0:59:12.720 --> 0:59:19.760
<v Speaker 2>like no, you can't but. Fuck, them okay if, you're listening, fuck. You,

0:59:19.880 --> 0:59:24.120
<v Speaker 2>honey okay let's. Be inclusive let's be, you know open.

0:59:24.360 --> 0:59:28.400
<v Speaker 2>And compassionate and, you know just because you haven't fucked

0:59:28.480 --> 0:59:31.560
<v Speaker 2>somebody doesn't mean that you are any less gay or bisexual.

0:59:31.840 --> 0:59:35.480
<v Speaker 2>Or whatever, you know you are who, you are and

0:59:35.640 --> 0:59:37.680
<v Speaker 2>you are attracted to what you're, attracted to and you

0:59:37.760 --> 0:59:39.800
<v Speaker 2>love who, you love and fucking take. Up space THAT'S

0:59:39.840 --> 0:59:43.280
<v Speaker 2>what i have to say, On. That okay, but also

0:59:43.360 --> 0:59:45.200
<v Speaker 2>you know the complexities of a by man getting to

0:59:45.320 --> 0:59:49.280
<v Speaker 2>experience the same sex relationship when they're already in a

0:59:49.360 --> 0:59:51.520
<v Speaker 2>head of a. Presenting relationship and You Know john michael

0:59:51.520 --> 0:59:53.760
<v Speaker 2>saying not wanting to lead, PEOPLE on i think, you

0:59:53.840 --> 0:59:56.640
<v Speaker 2>know There's no i'm just reflecting. On it there's really

0:59:57.280 --> 1:00:00.440
<v Speaker 2>nothing to do on an. Individual level, BUT know i

1:00:00.800 --> 1:00:03.760
<v Speaker 2>do hope that as we continue to have, these conversations

1:00:03.800 --> 1:00:09.640
<v Speaker 2>that we watch society and culture Shift in there's there's

1:00:09.720 --> 1:00:13.440
<v Speaker 2>a there's there's. An acceptance and there's a granular, to

1:00:13.520 --> 1:00:16.280
<v Speaker 2>This so i'll get, into it but there's an acceptance

1:00:16.400 --> 1:00:21.120
<v Speaker 2>of a woman exploring her bisexuality versus a man exploring. His,

1:00:21.200 --> 1:00:24.560
<v Speaker 2>bisexuality obviously a lot of that is about, PORN culture

1:00:24.640 --> 1:00:27.400
<v Speaker 2>a lot of that is about, you know, you know

1:00:27.520 --> 1:00:32.400
<v Speaker 2>straight male fantasies and. So there, you know that's a that's.

1:00:32.440 --> 1:00:37.160
<v Speaker 2>Another CONVERSATION but i do hope that as we talk

1:00:38.120 --> 1:00:41.360
<v Speaker 2>and we, you know show, more representation that we, allow

1:00:42.040 --> 1:00:46.160
<v Speaker 2>people especially the, by men to fuck well other men

1:00:46.400 --> 1:00:49.400
<v Speaker 2>and like not have it, be oh you're, Gay now it's,

1:00:49.440 --> 1:00:54.440
<v Speaker 2>like no They're, by literally that is what. Bisexuality is

1:00:55.480 --> 1:00:58.720
<v Speaker 2>they like men and they like what men. They like

1:00:59.200 --> 1:01:03.960
<v Speaker 2>you know? That, anyways yeah does it? Make sense? Are

1:01:04.000 --> 1:01:07.600
<v Speaker 2>y'all are y'all? FOLLOWING me i can only imagine the

1:01:07.880 --> 1:01:13.200
<v Speaker 2>mental aerobics of, that though navigating, you know if you're

1:01:13.200 --> 1:01:16.840
<v Speaker 2>a by man inside of a hetero, presenting relationship and

1:01:16.960 --> 1:01:19.120
<v Speaker 2>let me Know if i'm saying, That correctly if you're

1:01:19.200 --> 1:01:23.360
<v Speaker 2>by it and you're feeling some kind of foosball around me, naming,

1:01:23.400 --> 1:01:26.160
<v Speaker 2>it that please do let. Me KNOW but I do

1:01:27.120 --> 1:01:35.400
<v Speaker 2>i'm curious about the chance to explore your that part of,

1:01:35.480 --> 1:01:39.240
<v Speaker 2>your bisexuality that that color of your, sexual orientation and

1:01:39.320 --> 1:01:44.160
<v Speaker 2>the mental aerobics navigating people who then dismiss you when they,

1:01:44.240 --> 1:01:48.560
<v Speaker 2>find out like a gay man dismissing a by man

1:01:48.640 --> 1:01:50.640
<v Speaker 2>once he finds out that that by man is currently

1:01:50.680 --> 1:01:53.440
<v Speaker 2>in a relationship with, a woman and not having to

1:01:53.560 --> 1:01:57.760
<v Speaker 2>do with the monogamy or the polyamory or the openness,

1:01:57.800 --> 1:02:02.440
<v Speaker 2>of it because, you know guys be fucking all, the

1:02:02.520 --> 1:02:05.880
<v Speaker 2>time whether you're in a relationship or, not monogamous, not sorry,

1:02:05.960 --> 1:02:07.800
<v Speaker 2>not monogaous but like whether the person is single or

1:02:08.280 --> 1:02:11.800
<v Speaker 2>has a partner, or not that's usually not a not always,

1:02:12.200 --> 1:02:17.080
<v Speaker 2>a hiccup but if the hiccup, is well the partner

1:02:17.120 --> 1:02:19.880
<v Speaker 2>that you have as. A woman i don't Know what

1:02:19.920 --> 1:02:22.880
<v Speaker 2>i'm saying. About this i'm just curious about that and

1:02:23.040 --> 1:02:27.200
<v Speaker 2>curious about HOW to i don't know if it mitigate is.

1:02:27.240 --> 1:02:29.880
<v Speaker 2>A Word maybe i'm curious about my own feelings, About

1:02:29.920 --> 1:02:35.480
<v Speaker 2>that LIKE would i have feelings about? A partner let

1:02:35.560 --> 1:02:40.400
<v Speaker 2>me think, through this what are my? True feelings obviously

1:02:40.680 --> 1:02:44.160
<v Speaker 2>at this point in my, HOE journey, i wouldn't just

1:02:44.240 --> 1:02:47.920
<v Speaker 2>because OF what. I Know but i'm wondering if if

1:02:47.960 --> 1:02:52.240
<v Speaker 2>a younger version of myself would have. Taken issue and

1:02:52.360 --> 1:02:55.480
<v Speaker 2>what the issue WOULD be i think it, Would BE

1:02:56.200 --> 1:02:58.280
<v Speaker 2>if i can, BE honest i think it WOULD be

1:03:00.120 --> 1:03:03.400
<v Speaker 2>i don't know or have it historically known a lot

1:03:03.560 --> 1:03:09.320
<v Speaker 2>around women and. Their sexuality and even though this person

1:03:09.720 --> 1:03:13.840
<v Speaker 2>is not asking me to have sex with their female

1:03:13.960 --> 1:03:16.720
<v Speaker 2>partner or be in any kind of relationship, WITH them

1:03:18.000 --> 1:03:24.400
<v Speaker 2>i feel give. Us out in, REAL time i would.

1:03:24.720 --> 1:03:32.800
<v Speaker 2>Feel hesitation and what is that? Hesitation? ABOUT huh i

1:03:33.000 --> 1:03:34.840
<v Speaker 2>KNOW that i know that there would, be Hesitation but

1:03:34.880 --> 1:03:36.800
<v Speaker 2>i'm actually not sure what that hesitation would. Be about

1:03:37.400 --> 1:03:39.400
<v Speaker 2>it's Not like i'm being asked to play with the,

1:03:39.440 --> 1:03:42.440
<v Speaker 2>female partner but there's something about them having a. Female

1:03:42.480 --> 1:03:47.200
<v Speaker 2>partner what is a thing that would bring? Me pause

1:03:47.960 --> 1:03:51.080
<v Speaker 2>if a bisexual man who is married to a woman

1:03:51.480 --> 1:03:54.320
<v Speaker 2>would have approached me in my, younger years what is

1:03:54.360 --> 1:03:58.200
<v Speaker 2>the thing that would bring? Me, pause well in being

1:03:58.320 --> 1:04:01.840
<v Speaker 2>completely transparent on not proud, of this but, you listen

1:04:01.920 --> 1:04:05.320
<v Speaker 2>we'll have. OUR journeys i think that my relationship to

1:04:05.400 --> 1:04:10.160
<v Speaker 2>my sexuality was really harmful in. MY twenties i grew

1:04:10.280 --> 1:04:12.560
<v Speaker 2>up Watching like Will, and grace and if you, go back,

1:04:12.720 --> 1:04:14.040
<v Speaker 2>YOU know i can say a lot of great Things

1:04:14.040 --> 1:04:15.560
<v Speaker 2>about Will. And grace but if you, go back like

1:04:15.960 --> 1:04:18.800
<v Speaker 2>a lot of those shows had some not great bisexual

1:04:19.040 --> 1:04:22.680
<v Speaker 2>jokes right where it's like bisexuality is a bridge to.

1:04:22.880 --> 1:04:25.920
<v Speaker 2>Being gay AND so i grew up in, a culture

1:04:26.400 --> 1:04:28.600
<v Speaker 2>as a lot of, us did that did not take,

1:04:28.640 --> 1:04:32.640
<v Speaker 2>bisexuality seriously AND so i think part of my hesitation

1:04:32.920 --> 1:04:36.880
<v Speaker 2>in my younger years would be are you gay but

1:04:37.000 --> 1:04:40.240
<v Speaker 2>you're actually with? This woman and is THIS some? Dl

1:04:40.720 --> 1:04:44.200
<v Speaker 2>whatever and so that might have brought up, my hesitation

1:04:45.080 --> 1:04:48.960
<v Speaker 2>which is unfair and, YOU know i know, better now but,

1:04:49.120 --> 1:04:50.640
<v Speaker 2>you know when you, know better you. Do better but

1:04:51.040 --> 1:04:54.680
<v Speaker 2>that would have definitely been some of the book that

1:04:54.760 --> 1:04:58.160
<v Speaker 2>would have been. In there and then perhaps even if

1:04:58.240 --> 1:05:03.240
<v Speaker 2>there was an accepting of by sexuality but they're being a,

1:05:05.440 --> 1:05:08.920
<v Speaker 2>FEMALE partner i WONDER if i would have felt like

1:05:09.280 --> 1:05:15.200
<v Speaker 2>my own gayness. Was compromised does that? Make, sense like, you,

1:05:15.280 --> 1:05:17.760
<v Speaker 2>know working, you know if you're in the closet and

1:05:17.840 --> 1:05:20.280
<v Speaker 2>you finally come out and, You're like i'm Out and

1:05:20.360 --> 1:05:23.120
<v Speaker 2>i'm proud and you've worked to get to that pride

1:05:23.960 --> 1:05:25.680
<v Speaker 2>by The way i'm, Saying THIS and i don't think

1:05:25.720 --> 1:05:28.040
<v Speaker 2>that it's. WHAT'S sorry i don't think that it's, a

1:05:29.360 --> 1:05:34.160
<v Speaker 2>TRUTH but i can understand the narrative in, my head

1:05:34.680 --> 1:05:37.520
<v Speaker 2>which would, have, been Oh now i'm with this guy

1:05:37.680 --> 1:05:42.880
<v Speaker 2>who has. A WIFE am i not? As gay? Just

1:05:43.040 --> 1:05:46.000
<v Speaker 2>such and when you say it, out, loud, right like

1:05:46.080 --> 1:05:47.760
<v Speaker 2>this Is what, I'm saying like we have these things in,

1:05:47.840 --> 1:05:49.520
<v Speaker 2>our head but we don't say it, out loud so

1:05:49.600 --> 1:05:51.400
<v Speaker 2>it's in our head and then we operate. From it

1:05:51.520 --> 1:05:53.400
<v Speaker 2>but when you say it, out loud it sounds to,

1:05:53.560 --> 1:05:58.200
<v Speaker 2>me crazy like that woman is not compromising my gayness.

1:05:58.280 --> 1:06:01.600
<v Speaker 2>At all i'm fucking her husband and he's, fucking me

1:06:01.840 --> 1:06:04.200
<v Speaker 2>like what like she not even involved, In it and

1:06:04.280 --> 1:06:08.840
<v Speaker 2>even if, she was like it doesn't doesn't compromise HOW

1:06:09.040 --> 1:06:11.280
<v Speaker 2>gay i am or. Am NOT but i think that

1:06:11.400 --> 1:06:16.479
<v Speaker 2>that might have been playing underneath. The surface So again

1:06:16.520 --> 1:06:19.000
<v Speaker 2>i'll pose the question. To you if you are a,

1:06:19.720 --> 1:06:22.440
<v Speaker 2>you know a gay man or a, gay woman if like,

1:06:22.560 --> 1:06:25.680
<v Speaker 2>you know what if you're if a by woman came

1:06:25.720 --> 1:06:27.720
<v Speaker 2>to you but she had, a husband would you feel

1:06:28.400 --> 1:06:33.920
<v Speaker 2>some kind of resistance? Or hesitation if if if you're

1:06:34.240 --> 1:06:36.200
<v Speaker 2>a gay man and a by man comes to you

1:06:36.280 --> 1:06:37.920
<v Speaker 2>and he has, a wife which you feel some kind

1:06:37.960 --> 1:06:41.440
<v Speaker 2>of hesitation not around them having, another, partner right because

1:06:41.440 --> 1:06:44.040
<v Speaker 2>that could, be hesitation but that their partner is of the,

1:06:44.120 --> 1:06:49.840
<v Speaker 2>opposite sex would that? Would that would that give? You hesitation?

1:06:49.960 --> 1:06:52.080
<v Speaker 2>Or pause and do you? Know why and if, you

1:06:52.200 --> 1:06:54.080
<v Speaker 2>don't this is a lovely time to DO what i,

1:06:54.200 --> 1:06:57.480
<v Speaker 2>just did which is try and like figure out inside,

1:06:57.520 --> 1:07:00.880
<v Speaker 2>of you like what is? The? Thing what what is

1:07:01.040 --> 1:07:04.040
<v Speaker 2>what is? The block and is the block yours or

1:07:04.120 --> 1:07:09.040
<v Speaker 2>something you adopted, from culture, from media? From community is

1:07:09.520 --> 1:07:12.760
<v Speaker 2>this your own personal resistance or is this something that some,

1:07:13.160 --> 1:07:17.840
<v Speaker 2>you heard you witnessed and you have adopted as your

1:07:17.920 --> 1:07:21.480
<v Speaker 2>own this concept of you may not want to? Fuck?

1:07:21.600 --> 1:07:23.600
<v Speaker 2>Up right johnaga was talking about not wanting to lead

1:07:23.640 --> 1:07:25.840
<v Speaker 2>somebody on or feeling like a fraud because IT'S like,

1:07:25.960 --> 1:07:28.360
<v Speaker 2>i have, you know this, other PARTNER or i have a,

1:07:28.440 --> 1:07:31.479
<v Speaker 2>female partner so when he's, talking about, you know same

1:07:31.560 --> 1:07:35.840
<v Speaker 2>sex kind. Of FLIRTING but i really do believe that

1:07:37.320 --> 1:07:39.720
<v Speaker 2>we're gonna have to all let ourselves off the hook

1:07:40.400 --> 1:07:47.440
<v Speaker 2>as we explore our our our our, sexual journeys our,

1:07:47.520 --> 1:07:50.200
<v Speaker 2>love journeys our, dating journeys that we're gonna probably get some,

1:07:50.360 --> 1:07:53.520
<v Speaker 2>things wrong that we won't be perfect out of, the

1:07:53.600 --> 1:07:56.520
<v Speaker 2>gate especially since there's not really a blueprint when you

1:07:56.560 --> 1:08:01.520
<v Speaker 2>start getting into especially a sexual or exploration inside of, non,

1:08:01.600 --> 1:08:06.280
<v Speaker 2>monogamy polyamory, open relationships there's not there's not a ton

1:08:06.560 --> 1:08:10.640
<v Speaker 2>of information, out there let alone in sex. In General

1:08:10.760 --> 1:08:14.880
<v Speaker 2>right like there's there's not a lot of information the

1:08:15.600 --> 1:08:19.280
<v Speaker 2>or a lot of investment in creating these studies and

1:08:19.520 --> 1:08:22.519
<v Speaker 2>the resources that we all know how to talk about

1:08:22.600 --> 1:08:24.680
<v Speaker 2>sex and the different facets. Of it so a lot

1:08:24.760 --> 1:08:27.479
<v Speaker 2>of us are figuring this out by trial, and error

1:08:27.960 --> 1:08:30.280
<v Speaker 2>which means that you will. Fuck UP so i think

1:08:30.360 --> 1:08:33.240
<v Speaker 2>the only thing you can really, control is, you know

1:08:33.760 --> 1:08:37.240
<v Speaker 2>repairing when there's, a rupture apologizing if you, need to

1:08:38.080 --> 1:08:42.480
<v Speaker 2>if you know you get, something, wrong communicating being transparent

1:08:42.560 --> 1:08:44.280
<v Speaker 2>as you can with people to kind of let them

1:08:44.320 --> 1:08:46.360
<v Speaker 2>know where, you are and also saying when you don't

1:08:46.400 --> 1:08:49.120
<v Speaker 2>know something or when you're figuring something, else out. You

1:08:49.200 --> 1:08:52.200
<v Speaker 2>know i've had RELATIONSHIPS where, i, have uh, you know

1:08:52.920 --> 1:08:56.719
<v Speaker 2>messed up in sort of COMMUNICATING because i just, DIDN'T

1:08:56.800 --> 1:08:59.040
<v Speaker 2>know i didn't know something to, communicate it didn't know

1:08:59.200 --> 1:09:01.800
<v Speaker 2>how to, do BETTER or i didn't it was a

1:09:01.880 --> 1:09:03.920
<v Speaker 2>new situation. For ME so i also didn't know how

1:09:04.040 --> 1:09:06.680
<v Speaker 2>my body was going. To REACT and i don't mean

1:09:06.720 --> 1:09:08.880
<v Speaker 2>my Like my i'm not talking about. Like genitals i'm

1:09:08.880 --> 1:09:11.400
<v Speaker 2>talking about like my, nervous system how it, would react

1:09:12.520 --> 1:09:15.400
<v Speaker 2>AND so i didn't necessarily always handle it in the.

1:09:15.560 --> 1:09:19.200
<v Speaker 2>BEST way i might have gone into, protective mode and to,

1:09:19.280 --> 1:09:22.439
<v Speaker 2>PROTECT myself i tend to, pull AWAY and i might

1:09:22.479 --> 1:09:26.360
<v Speaker 2>have pulled away without, Communicating right and so it's it's.

1:09:26.400 --> 1:09:29.880
<v Speaker 2>A version IT'S something i wouldn't, do now, you know

1:09:30.080 --> 1:09:32.640
<v Speaker 2>at you Know when I'm when i'm. Recording this i'm

1:09:32.640 --> 1:09:36.160
<v Speaker 2>recording this On, on monday the twenty Eighth. OF april

1:09:36.200 --> 1:09:38.479
<v Speaker 2>i wouldn't do, it now but a version of me

1:09:38.680 --> 1:09:42.639
<v Speaker 2>two or three years ago might have and HAS because

1:09:42.640 --> 1:09:45.000
<v Speaker 2>i didn't. Know better AND so i think we we

1:09:45.280 --> 1:09:48.080
<v Speaker 2>have to give ourselves grace that we're gonna. Fuck up,

1:09:48.920 --> 1:09:50.640
<v Speaker 2>but well when you, know better you. Do better as,

1:09:50.680 --> 1:09:57.559
<v Speaker 2>THEY say i really also enjoyed the nuance of it's

1:09:57.600 --> 1:10:02.120
<v Speaker 2>not always. About sex it's about sometimes blirting and wanting

1:10:02.200 --> 1:10:04.720
<v Speaker 2>to just go to a gay club and dance and

1:10:04.800 --> 1:10:08.200
<v Speaker 2>be danced on and feel like your eyes. ARE PRETTY

1:10:09.960 --> 1:10:14.280
<v Speaker 2>i i uh that that is an exploration of, one

1:10:14.400 --> 1:10:17.080
<v Speaker 2>sexuality which IS why, i say like to, you know

1:10:17.400 --> 1:10:20.920
<v Speaker 2>the the wearing. The uniform it's, like yeah, like sex

1:10:21.120 --> 1:10:23.120
<v Speaker 2>it's not about. Just sex like you don't have to

1:10:23.720 --> 1:10:27.320
<v Speaker 2>to to fuck to to have your bisexuality or your

1:10:27.360 --> 1:10:31.920
<v Speaker 2>pan sexuality or your, whatever stamped, your gayness your lesbian.

1:10:31.960 --> 1:10:35.519
<v Speaker 2>Hood stamped it doesn't always require you. To fuck it

1:10:35.600 --> 1:10:37.600
<v Speaker 2>can be in. The flirting it's in the fact that

1:10:37.680 --> 1:10:40.720
<v Speaker 2>you know that you're attracted to somebody or you want

1:10:40.840 --> 1:10:43.280
<v Speaker 2>to be flirted with you. YOU desire i think it's

1:10:43.280 --> 1:10:49.559
<v Speaker 2>about the. Desire ultimately in talking about polyamory and Talking

1:10:49.600 --> 1:10:53.960
<v Speaker 2>About john michael and his wife and, HIS girlfriend i.

1:10:54.080 --> 1:10:57.160
<v Speaker 2>REALLY uh i think he was talking about his mom

1:10:57.840 --> 1:11:00.800
<v Speaker 2>and assuming when someone is polyamorous there's a problem in,

1:11:00.880 --> 1:11:04.240
<v Speaker 2>their relationship why would you need A third? I do?

1:11:04.360 --> 1:11:07.800
<v Speaker 2>YOU know i feel. THAT energy i received that energy

1:11:07.960 --> 1:11:12.800
<v Speaker 2>a bit having, two partners having One that i've, been with, you,

1:11:12.880 --> 1:11:18.360
<v Speaker 2>know married and, this like why are there multiple partners in?

1:11:18.400 --> 1:11:21.720
<v Speaker 2>My relationship. We don't we're not, a thriple, You know

1:11:22.160 --> 1:11:25.439
<v Speaker 2>MATTHEW and i. Date separately but it's not that there's.

1:11:25.880 --> 1:11:31.760
<v Speaker 2>A problem i do agree that one person can't fulfill all,

1:11:31.800 --> 1:11:35.680
<v Speaker 2>your needs but monogamy can still absolutely work. For you,

1:11:37.560 --> 1:11:42.400
<v Speaker 2>for me polyamory is because that blueprint works better FOR

1:11:43.800 --> 1:11:45.720
<v Speaker 2>how i want to fulfill my needs AND how i

1:11:45.800 --> 1:11:48.519
<v Speaker 2>want to be, in relationship the kind of PARTNER that

1:11:48.560 --> 1:11:50.360
<v Speaker 2>i want, to be and the kind of PARTNERSHIPS that

1:11:50.400 --> 1:11:54.320
<v Speaker 2>i want. To have, polyamorate works but it's Not because matthew.

1:11:54.520 --> 1:11:59.800
<v Speaker 2>Wasn't enough matthew. IS incredible i have a, YOU know

1:12:01.080 --> 1:12:03.920
<v Speaker 2>i FEEL like i have a really jackpot husband and

1:12:04.080 --> 1:12:08.840
<v Speaker 2>partner who IS who i, you know trust with my

1:12:09.080 --> 1:12:13.760
<v Speaker 2>entire fucking life and can't say enough things ABOUT how

1:12:14.040 --> 1:12:19.040
<v Speaker 2>i admire and respect and adore and love him and

1:12:19.160 --> 1:12:23.880
<v Speaker 2>he satisfies a lot. For me, but polyamory for both,

1:12:23.960 --> 1:12:29.000
<v Speaker 2>of us still felt like a a thing that fit

1:12:29.720 --> 1:12:32.320
<v Speaker 2>who we are as individuals and who we are as

1:12:32.360 --> 1:12:35.840
<v Speaker 2>a as a as. A partnership but it wasn't a

1:12:36.000 --> 1:12:39.960
<v Speaker 2>sign that something was wrong. Between us and so just,

1:12:40.200 --> 1:12:41.680
<v Speaker 2>you know, if you if you just for those of

1:12:41.800 --> 1:12:47.120
<v Speaker 2>you who are wetting your your your tongue is whetting

1:12:47.120 --> 1:12:49.280
<v Speaker 2>your appetite or like getting to know about what non

1:12:49.360 --> 1:12:52.240
<v Speaker 2>monogamy and, Polyambry is i'd, like to, you know just

1:12:52.360 --> 1:12:54.639
<v Speaker 2>remind you and remember that it doesn't mean that there's,

1:12:54.640 --> 1:13:00.280
<v Speaker 2>A problem it doesn't mean there's. Something wrong it's just

1:13:00.360 --> 1:13:04.080
<v Speaker 2>about desires and whether or not that is a desire,

1:13:04.120 --> 1:13:06.719
<v Speaker 2>of yours and whether or not that works for the relationship.

1:13:06.760 --> 1:13:09.400
<v Speaker 2>You're In When don michael said it took a while

1:13:09.479 --> 1:13:14.280
<v Speaker 2>for him to tell others about, their POLYAMORY which i think.

1:13:14.400 --> 1:13:17.439
<v Speaker 2>IS okay i think privacy is a, beautiful thing and

1:13:17.640 --> 1:13:20.000
<v Speaker 2>we've talked about that on. The show the difference between privacy,

1:13:20.080 --> 1:13:23.120
<v Speaker 2>and secrecy and secrecy Being like i'm hiding SOMETHING that

1:13:23.160 --> 1:13:27.439
<v Speaker 2>I know i'm supposed to, tell you whereas privacy is,

1:13:27.720 --> 1:13:30.439
<v Speaker 2>you know this is something that, we're nurturing and this

1:13:30.600 --> 1:13:33.320
<v Speaker 2>is something that belongs to me, or us and we'll

1:13:33.360 --> 1:13:35.760
<v Speaker 2>share it at the right time when it makes sense

1:13:35.840 --> 1:13:38.759
<v Speaker 2>or at the time that. Feels best but their privacy

1:13:38.880 --> 1:13:43.200
<v Speaker 2>is important sometimes. For us we were very private about

1:13:43.200 --> 1:13:46.760
<v Speaker 2>our polyamory and our. Open relationship actually before, even polyamory

1:13:46.800 --> 1:13:49.040
<v Speaker 2>we were very private about it because we didn't want

1:13:49.040 --> 1:13:51.360
<v Speaker 2>other people's opinions. On it we didn't want other people

1:13:52.080 --> 1:13:56.280
<v Speaker 2>to persuade or influence how we were feeling about this

1:13:56.400 --> 1:13:58.960
<v Speaker 2>thing that we're doing with, their judgment because we do

1:13:59.120 --> 1:14:02.720
<v Speaker 2>value our friends out value the, family's opinions but we

1:14:02.800 --> 1:14:07.559
<v Speaker 2>didn't want their lack, of information which might make them

1:14:07.640 --> 1:14:10.960
<v Speaker 2>critical or judgmental to influence how we, approached it and

1:14:11.080 --> 1:14:14.439
<v Speaker 2>so it felt like privacy and keeping it private until

1:14:14.920 --> 1:14:17.760
<v Speaker 2>we felt confident and comfortable. In it then. We share

1:14:17.800 --> 1:14:20.560
<v Speaker 2>and THAT'S how i feel, about, Anything right like, you

1:14:20.640 --> 1:14:21.679
<v Speaker 2>KNOW anything i share.

1:14:21.479 --> 1:14:21.720
<v Speaker 3>With you.

1:14:22.000 --> 1:14:25.559
<v Speaker 2>I've PROCESSED but i purposely do not share certain things

1:14:25.600 --> 1:14:29.200
<v Speaker 2>that happen in my life and in my WORLD because

1:14:29.680 --> 1:14:31.400
<v Speaker 2>i need time to KNOW what i feel about it

1:14:31.520 --> 1:14:33.720
<v Speaker 2>AND how i think, about it AND so i keep.

1:14:33.760 --> 1:14:36.200
<v Speaker 2>It private and then when it feels READY and i

1:14:36.320 --> 1:14:38.320
<v Speaker 2>FEEL like i Know what i'm not that it can't,

1:14:38.360 --> 1:14:41.280
<v Speaker 2>be shifted BUT like i KNOW that i HAVE a pov,

1:14:41.439 --> 1:14:43.240
<v Speaker 2>ON it i have a stance, on It then i'm

1:14:43.320 --> 1:14:45.920
<v Speaker 2>down to share because, you know you could tell me

1:14:46.040 --> 1:14:50.960
<v Speaker 2>all the things that you feel, about IT but i

1:14:51.000 --> 1:14:53.400
<v Speaker 2>don't have to. Adopt IT but i know that there's

1:14:53.439 --> 1:14:56.439
<v Speaker 2>a stage where we will adopt what other, people think

1:14:56.600 --> 1:15:00.600
<v Speaker 2>and so be private when you need. TO be i

1:15:00.760 --> 1:15:02.800
<v Speaker 2>love that we love you enough to tell you this

1:15:03.040 --> 1:15:06.280
<v Speaker 2>thing that we know is initially. GONNA suck i love

1:15:06.360 --> 1:15:08.400
<v Speaker 2>YOU and i don't want to have secrets. With you

1:15:10.479 --> 1:15:18.519
<v Speaker 2>love in its fantasy is smooth, and easy and you

1:15:18.600 --> 1:15:22.439
<v Speaker 2>know everyone is. Always happy but love in reality, is

1:15:22.600 --> 1:15:26.439
<v Speaker 2>work and there are, those sweet, beautiful moments but then

1:15:26.479 --> 1:15:32.400
<v Speaker 2>there are those hard moments where you have to reveal

1:15:32.720 --> 1:15:34.920
<v Speaker 2>more about yourself where you have. To share we have to,

1:15:34.960 --> 1:15:38.160
<v Speaker 2>be vulnerable and sometimes you're not met with the most

1:15:38.240 --> 1:15:43.080
<v Speaker 2>compassion in, that vulnerability or or you're not accepted inside of.

1:15:43.120 --> 1:15:47.400
<v Speaker 2>That vulnerability but, YOU know i think love requires transparent

1:15:47.600 --> 1:15:51.200
<v Speaker 2>conversations and saying things that may not be easy. To

1:15:51.360 --> 1:15:55.880
<v Speaker 2>hear and As You john, michael said conversations with your

1:15:55.920 --> 1:15:59.320
<v Speaker 2>family is like. Baking bread sometimes you're following the recipe

1:15:59.360 --> 1:16:02.320
<v Speaker 2>and it comes out, fucked up but over time you

1:16:02.400 --> 1:16:05.120
<v Speaker 2>have the chance to make that loaf again. And again

1:16:06.080 --> 1:16:08.439
<v Speaker 2>and so all that, to say if you're struggling to

1:16:08.479 --> 1:16:12.320
<v Speaker 2>share something with your family or share a part, OF

1:16:12.400 --> 1:16:15.519
<v Speaker 2>yourself i think. IT'S okay i think it's okay to

1:16:16.320 --> 1:16:20.599
<v Speaker 2>for it to not. Go, perfectly obviously if your safety

1:16:20.720 --> 1:16:24.960
<v Speaker 2>or anything, is compromised, you know use your discretion about what.

1:16:25.120 --> 1:16:27.640
<v Speaker 2>You share but if it's, just, like oh they're going to,

1:16:27.680 --> 1:16:31.760
<v Speaker 2>be mad or they're gonna have misgivings or, be judgmental

1:16:32.320 --> 1:16:35.080
<v Speaker 2>then you know there's there's a there's a space to work,

1:16:35.160 --> 1:16:38.599
<v Speaker 2>through that and there's a space To say i'm sharing

1:16:38.680 --> 1:16:40.920
<v Speaker 2>THIS because i love you AND because i want you

1:16:41.000 --> 1:16:42.559
<v Speaker 2>to know this side. Of me and if you really

1:16:42.600 --> 1:16:45.720
<v Speaker 2>are interested in KNOWING who, i am then this is

1:16:45.800 --> 1:16:48.560
<v Speaker 2>part OF who. I am and if, you're not and

1:16:48.680 --> 1:16:51.320
<v Speaker 2>if you have family or friends who are not interested

1:16:51.360 --> 1:16:54.120
<v Speaker 2>in knowing who, you are then it might be a

1:16:54.280 --> 1:16:56.720
<v Speaker 2>bit of a time to establish some new boundaries, for

1:16:56.840 --> 1:17:02.160
<v Speaker 2>yourself because you deserve to be around peopleeople who want

1:17:02.240 --> 1:17:04.800
<v Speaker 2>to know who, you are even if it's going to,

1:17:04.840 --> 1:17:08.920
<v Speaker 2>be challenging even if it challenges their ideas or their views.

1:17:09.200 --> 1:17:14.400
<v Speaker 2>On things you deserve that space to, be yourself to

1:17:14.520 --> 1:17:17.160
<v Speaker 2>not have to hold back who. You are the world

1:17:17.200 --> 1:17:19.160
<v Speaker 2>will make you hold back so much as, it is

1:17:19.880 --> 1:17:23.000
<v Speaker 2>and it's already. Scary enough so with, your friends, your family,

1:17:23.160 --> 1:17:26.200
<v Speaker 2>your community, my god if you can't be yourself, with

1:17:26.520 --> 1:17:30.600
<v Speaker 2>them where can you? Be, Yourself love you should be

1:17:30.800 --> 1:17:33.200
<v Speaker 2>able to be yourself with those who are closest, to

1:17:33.360 --> 1:17:36.120
<v Speaker 2>you and, if not then we gotta find a. New,

1:17:36.120 --> 1:17:39.639
<v Speaker 2>family okay we got to find a. New community yeah, fuck.

1:17:39.760 --> 1:17:43.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah awesome by, the way as you well know at,

1:17:43.439 --> 1:17:45.120
<v Speaker 2>this point but if, you're new this is the first

1:17:45.160 --> 1:17:48.240
<v Speaker 2>episode you're. Listening to Hi. BABY welcome i have a

1:17:48.280 --> 1:17:52.080
<v Speaker 2>Substack brandic houggobman dot subsack. DOT com i Post every Monday.

1:17:52.439 --> 1:17:57.400
<v Speaker 2>And friday it's more of what we do here with

1:17:57.720 --> 1:18:00.760
<v Speaker 2>some other shit. As well every night day there's a

1:18:01.080 --> 1:18:03.599
<v Speaker 2>live STREAM that I Do messy mondays at NIGHT where

1:18:04.040 --> 1:18:07.559
<v Speaker 2>i interview or have conversations with, different guests and not necessarily,

1:18:07.560 --> 1:18:09.960
<v Speaker 2>about sex it could be. About anything it's honestly just

1:18:10.080 --> 1:18:14.000
<v Speaker 2>creating a joyful space to have thoughtful conversations about whatever

1:18:14.080 --> 1:18:18.000
<v Speaker 2>the fuck the GUESTS that i. Care About so i'm,

1:18:18.080 --> 1:18:20.800
<v Speaker 2>taking off this is. Coming. Out Yeah so i'll be

1:18:21.040 --> 1:18:23.360
<v Speaker 2>off on The, fifth monday the Fifth because i'll be

1:18:23.400 --> 1:18:26.240
<v Speaker 2>covering The met gala Not In new york but HERE

1:18:26.320 --> 1:18:28.720
<v Speaker 2>in LA With. E news but we'll be back on.

1:18:28.800 --> 1:18:31.800
<v Speaker 2>The Twelfth Foot hunter Harris And jalil Johnson And kat

1:18:31.840 --> 1:18:34.840
<v Speaker 2>cohen are going to be joining Me. In, may Also,

1:18:34.920 --> 1:18:38.160
<v Speaker 2>EVERY friday i Drop A, hey everybody which is a

1:18:38.280 --> 1:18:42.920
<v Speaker 2>mini PODCAST where i talk more about some of your,

1:18:43.200 --> 1:18:45.960
<v Speaker 2>messy mail as well as give you updates about what's

1:18:45.960 --> 1:18:49.200
<v Speaker 2>happening in, my life both personal. And professional and this,

1:18:49.479 --> 1:18:51.640
<v Speaker 2>last Week which i'm gonna play a clip, from you

1:18:51.760 --> 1:18:56.880
<v Speaker 2>is a little MORE vulnerable I. Met bun if you're,

1:18:57.000 --> 1:19:00.840
<v Speaker 2>New here bun is my, other PARTNER and i met

1:19:00.920 --> 1:19:04.360
<v Speaker 2>his mom for the, first, time uh and it was wonderful,

1:19:04.400 --> 1:19:08.720
<v Speaker 2>and lovely but also unexpectedly emotional, for me as it

1:19:08.840 --> 1:19:12.000
<v Speaker 2>brought up some stuff around my. Own mom and so

1:19:12.160 --> 1:19:17.519
<v Speaker 2>let me play you a little clip. From that and

1:19:17.600 --> 1:19:19.720
<v Speaker 2>it's NOT like i don't want to meet moms, or

1:19:19.720 --> 1:19:26.200
<v Speaker 2>WHATEVER but i realized or, recognize THAT like i don't

1:19:26.280 --> 1:19:30.160
<v Speaker 2>know how to, always ACT and i get a little

1:19:31.120 --> 1:19:38.040
<v Speaker 2>hy maybe it's the, word, shy, tense. Nervous ANXIOUS and

1:19:38.160 --> 1:19:39.800
<v Speaker 2>i realized THIS, because i, you know one of my

1:19:40.280 --> 1:19:42.800
<v Speaker 2>one of my friends out here very close to his

1:19:42.920 --> 1:19:44.960
<v Speaker 2>mom and so like hoping his mom to our dinners

1:19:45.000 --> 1:19:47.280
<v Speaker 2>and stuff, like THAT and i, love HER but i

1:19:47.520 --> 1:19:49.360
<v Speaker 2>noticed That sometimes, I'M like i don't know how, to

1:19:49.560 --> 1:19:53.040
<v Speaker 2>act and IT'S because i just haven't been around my

1:19:53.160 --> 1:19:56.320
<v Speaker 2>own mother in, fifteen years and, SO like i don't

1:19:56.360 --> 1:19:59.640
<v Speaker 2>know how to act around. People's moms it's very. Very

1:19:59.680 --> 1:20:01.720
<v Speaker 2>STRONG so i, WAS like i don't know what feelings will,

1:20:01.760 --> 1:20:04.080
<v Speaker 2>come Up but, i'm EXCITED but i just want you,

1:20:04.160 --> 1:20:06.240
<v Speaker 2>to know you, know that LIKE after i might just

1:20:06.320 --> 1:20:08.120
<v Speaker 2>have to like go to. The gym to work out.

1:20:08.280 --> 1:20:10.639
<v Speaker 2>Or whatnot he, was like no worries. At all. You're good.

1:20:10.680 --> 1:20:14.760
<v Speaker 2>You're good, so anyways we, hung out got to. Know,

1:20:14.920 --> 1:20:20.080
<v Speaker 2>her uh, she's phenomenal. The sweetest she was worrying a,

1:20:20.560 --> 1:20:23.439
<v Speaker 2>rainbow bracelet which she was like she hasn't taken off

1:20:23.439 --> 1:20:26.599
<v Speaker 2>the last. Two years was, so supportive wanted to take

1:20:26.640 --> 1:20:29.120
<v Speaker 2>photos of Me. And bun wanted to take photos with Me.

1:20:29.240 --> 1:20:31.840
<v Speaker 2>And bun and then we went to the grove and

1:20:31.920 --> 1:20:35.120
<v Speaker 2>we're walking around and you're just like, kee king. You know,

1:20:35.320 --> 1:20:38.000
<v Speaker 2>she was, you know got my pronouns wrong a couple,

1:20:38.000 --> 1:20:40.040
<v Speaker 2>of times but it, Was like i'm. So sorry i'm gonna.

1:20:40.080 --> 1:20:41.760
<v Speaker 2>Get BETTER and i, was like don't worry like you're

1:20:42.240 --> 1:20:45.040
<v Speaker 2>YOU'RE using i, always say any pronouns, USE respect i

1:20:45.160 --> 1:20:47.799
<v Speaker 2>love and prefer, they them but any pronouns of. RESPECT

1:20:47.920 --> 1:20:49.880
<v Speaker 2>respect i, was like we, Haven't met, you're like this is.

1:20:49.880 --> 1:20:52.519
<v Speaker 2>All new, She's like i'm she like, so sweetly like

1:20:52.720 --> 1:20:55.439
<v Speaker 2>pulled me like clutched arms and me, WAS like i

1:20:55.520 --> 1:20:59.040
<v Speaker 2>will get. It right i'm like almost gonna get emotional. About.

1:20:59.080 --> 1:21:01.519
<v Speaker 3>IT ooh.

1:21:04.320 --> 1:21:05.639
<v Speaker 2>I, was like oh, my god WHY?

1:21:05.720 --> 1:21:05.920
<v Speaker 3>Am i.

1:21:07.920 --> 1:21:14.320
<v Speaker 2>Oh, my god not me? Tearing, up yeah she like

1:21:14.760 --> 1:21:17.000
<v Speaker 2>pulled me aside and, SHE'S like i, promise something get.

1:21:17.040 --> 1:21:17.280
<v Speaker 3>It right.

1:21:17.680 --> 1:21:19.160
<v Speaker 2>YOU know i, was like don't even worry. About it

1:21:19.800 --> 1:21:22.880
<v Speaker 2>but like the fact that she cared that much and

1:21:24.360 --> 1:21:27.160
<v Speaker 2>and caught herself like didn't, you know like didn't need to,

1:21:27.200 --> 1:21:31.160
<v Speaker 2>be prompted just WAS like i was really meaningful. To. Me,

1:21:36.080 --> 1:21:41.519
<v Speaker 2>yeah girl it, was EMOTIONAL but i learned, a, Lot

1:21:42.040 --> 1:21:44.439
<v Speaker 2>uh AND so i wanted to share that with you because,

1:21:44.960 --> 1:21:48.840
<v Speaker 2>you know you thinking about polyamory is one thing which

1:21:48.880 --> 1:21:51.479
<v Speaker 2>we've obviously talked about a lot on this particular Episode With.

1:21:51.600 --> 1:21:54.840
<v Speaker 2>John michael but you know when you start, involving uh

1:21:55.280 --> 1:21:59.839
<v Speaker 2>not just, your parents but your, partner's, parents uh and, realizing,

1:21:59.880 --> 1:22:02.360
<v Speaker 2>that like oh, my god there are now my in

1:22:02.560 --> 1:22:06.120
<v Speaker 2>laws and now my other. Partner's, family like there's a

1:22:06.240 --> 1:22:09.479
<v Speaker 2>lot of a lot, of things a lot of things.

1:22:09.560 --> 1:22:14.240
<v Speaker 2>To navigate AND so i wanted to talk that through

1:22:14.560 --> 1:22:17.680
<v Speaker 2>in a, very imperfect. Messy WAY so i hope you'll check.

1:22:17.720 --> 1:22:21.160
<v Speaker 2>That out you can find Me on instagram as Well

1:22:21.200 --> 1:22:24.120
<v Speaker 2>At Brandon. Kyle goodman you can find our podcasts At

1:22:24.280 --> 1:22:27.680
<v Speaker 2>Tell Me, something messy and you can join our community

1:22:27.840 --> 1:22:31.360
<v Speaker 2>On The messy. Monday's substack when, you subscribe you'll get,

1:22:31.479 --> 1:22:35.040
<v Speaker 2>weekly posts recommendations on sex and self and so. Much,

1:22:35.280 --> 1:22:37.880
<v Speaker 2>MORE also i want to hear, from you so send your,

1:22:37.960 --> 1:22:43.280
<v Speaker 2>topic ideas your, messy stories, your submissions your game ideas

1:22:43.439 --> 1:22:46.320
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1:22:46.360 --> 1:22:48.960
<v Speaker 2>can also call us at six six nine Sixty Nine

1:22:49.280 --> 1:22:53.559
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1:22:53.760 --> 1:22:57.439
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1:22:57.680 --> 1:23:01.760
<v Speaker 2>your hoe and aspiring. Home friends really really helps the,

1:23:01.840 --> 1:23:04.920
<v Speaker 2>show out. All right until, next time ask about the

1:23:04.960 --> 1:23:07.360
<v Speaker 2>politics of that dick before you make, it spin make

1:23:07.400 --> 1:23:09.800
<v Speaker 2>sure they eat the kitty before they beat, the kitty

1:23:10.040 --> 1:23:15.200
<v Speaker 2>before fucation or. Succation communication and in case you haven't heard,

1:23:15.240 --> 1:23:19.360
<v Speaker 2>it yet today you are so. DEEPLY loved i love.

1:23:19.400 --> 1:23:23.800
<v Speaker 2>You bye thank you so much for listening To Tell Me.

1:23:23.920 --> 1:23:26.320
<v Speaker 2>Something messy if you all enjoyed, the show send the

1:23:26.400 --> 1:23:28.960
<v Speaker 2>episode to someone else who might. Like It Tell Me

1:23:29.040 --> 1:23:32.880
<v Speaker 2>something messy was executive Produced By, Ali Perry, gabrielle Collins And.

1:23:33.040 --> 1:23:37.160
<v Speaker 2>Yours truly our producer and Editor Is. Vince dejohnny for

1:23:37.320 --> 1:23:40.640
<v Speaker 2>more Podcasts from iHeartRadio And The, outspoken network Visit the

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<v Speaker 2>iHeartRadio app or anywhere you subscribe to your, favorite shows