Speaker 1: Now, what's my night terror? Somebody in my room on
Speaker 1: top of me in bed, trying to cut me? Why
Speaker 1: is that? I mean, I was scared. I was scared
Speaker 1: of the dark. I was scared to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 1: This carried over into college. Why is that? So? I've
Speaker 1: talked to detectives, talked to trauma therapists. Nobody knows how
Speaker 1: to fix this night terror stuff, and nobody knows why
Speaker 1: is it the bad guy in the room try and
Speaker 1: kill me? Do you feel like the bad guy is
Speaker 1: your dad? Yeah? My dad planned these things, premeditated these things.
Speaker 1: Was he practicing that murder in our house? Was he
Speaker 1: practicing Cornerherston closets? You're wondering if that feeling you had
Speaker 1: was maybe him actually in your room in the closet. Yeah,
Speaker 1: some of suppressed memory where I was scared shitless from
Speaker 1: my dad. Who's to say he wasn't doing something in
Speaker 1: my bedroom. I just would rather know, Like for me,
Speaker 1: I need to know, because once I know that, I
Speaker 1: can deal with it. You can divorce a spouse, you
Speaker 1: can't divorce father. You can't just divorce your dad. Did
Speaker 1: a part of you feel like you wanted to make
Speaker 1: it better? Somehow I wanted to help him, like I'm
Speaker 1: mad at you when one second and I'm worried you're
Speaker 1: cold and dealing with this blanket and this cold sell
Speaker 1: like I love you, I still love you. Do you
Speaker 1: still love him? Oh? Yeah? I mean I told him that,
Speaker 1: and the letters early on, like I love you and
Speaker 1: I don't know what's wrong and I don't know why
Speaker 1: you did this. And I wrote him and I was
Speaker 1: like I'm so sorry, Like I'm so sorry. Something must
Speaker 1: have happened to you. You're just thinking something awful must
Speaker 1: have happened to you to turn you into this, and
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. You know that you're a loon and
Speaker 1: that we're not with you. Monster. BTK concludes. To hear
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