WEBVTT - REWIND: VAN LATHAN - Angola State Grilled Cheese (Pt. 2) 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:03.240 Yo, I talk a lot. I know sometimes it could 0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:04.920 be hard to follow me. But if you don't listen 0:00:04.920 --> 0:00:10.000 to anything else, I say, listen to this. These people 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:15.240 don't give a fuck about you. We didn't talked like 0:00:15.320 --> 0:00:18.480 your dad has passed away. I took you outside the office. 0:00:18.600 --> 0:00:21.239 We've talked about it, We've gone through all of this. 0:00:21.440 --> 0:00:24.200 You wouldn't do this to me. Not only will they 0:00:25.280 --> 0:00:30.000 they're going to. Yeah, like they're going to do it. 0:00:30.000 --> 0:00:32.640 It's like they're going to do you. You You're gonna 0:00:32.640 --> 0:00:36.479 get done. You will be done like something like if 0:00:36.520 --> 0:00:40.720 you are, if you are making the track towards being 0:00:40.880 --> 0:01:03.640 somebody important or influential, somebody is going to do you. 0:01:07.560 --> 0:01:13.440 There's no magic or sinister story to a divorce. Sometimes 0:01:13.680 --> 0:01:16.280 it don't work out. It just doesn't work out. But 0:01:16.319 --> 0:01:18.280 you want to believe certain people will never be happy 0:01:18.319 --> 0:01:23.399 because their lifestyles are antithetical to happiness in a relationship. 0:01:23.760 --> 0:01:28.240 So you want to you want to believe like like you, 0:01:28.920 --> 0:01:31.399 like you, you you. You want to believe that right. 0:01:31.520 --> 0:01:34.400 You want to believe that teams gives you that. In 0:01:34.480 --> 0:01:37.119 order to do that, TMZ has to treat those people 0:01:38.840 --> 0:01:41.600 like they're not people. They have to treat them as 0:01:41.680 --> 0:01:45.200 if their concepts celebrity is not a person. 0:01:46.520 --> 0:01:48.520 That's why I guess TMZ comes off a little bit 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:49.640 invasive and ruthless. 0:01:49.720 --> 0:01:51.680 Right, Well, no, because they're. 0:01:51.320 --> 0:01:54.280 They're not treating they're they're treating them kind of like. 0:01:54.240 --> 0:01:56.360 Well, you have to write like even even the TMZ 0:01:56.400 --> 0:01:59.280 tour was a celebrity safari, Like what's on a safari? 0:02:00.200 --> 0:02:04.000 Animals animals, right and so and so like when when 0:02:04.040 --> 0:02:07.240 you like the tours celebrities for its animals, right, and 0:02:07.320 --> 0:02:09.800 so you do that, right and what you what you 0:02:09.840 --> 0:02:11.880 say is okay, Well, in order to be a celebrity, 0:02:11.880 --> 0:02:14.480 the game is pr at its base, right, So this 0:02:14.520 --> 0:02:18.760 is what you sign up for kind of right, because 0:02:18.800 --> 0:02:20.640 like there are certain things that you don't sign up for. 0:02:21.280 --> 0:02:24.639 I'll never talk I'll never I'll never forget this. There 0:02:24.680 --> 0:02:28.720 was the sister of a celebrity that had that had 0:02:28.760 --> 0:02:31.280 had something taught done to them. I'll never forget. I'm 0:02:31.280 --> 0:02:32.840 not gonna talk about who I had the conversation with. 0:02:32.919 --> 0:02:37.679 I'm like, yo, we shouldn't do that. And they did 0:02:37.680 --> 0:02:41.760 the story and this dude went on fucking and let 0:02:41.840 --> 0:02:43.799 us fucking have and I was like, yo, we had 0:02:43.800 --> 0:02:45.359 to take it down and apologize and do all that 0:02:45.440 --> 0:02:47.560 stuff like yo, like there's a limit to this. And 0:02:47.639 --> 0:02:49.720 that's not me making a moral judgment on team team. 0:02:49.720 --> 0:02:52.720 I'm just telling you the way things go. So like 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:56.320 when you know all of that, when you have an 0:02:56.360 --> 0:03:02.960 idea of what drives that, Like, obviously there they're moral. 0:03:04.160 --> 0:03:06.160 There are things that you have to not care about 0:03:06.160 --> 0:03:08.040 to work there. But most of the people there are 0:03:08.080 --> 0:03:11.960 good people. They're just desensitized to whatever was going on 0:03:12.040 --> 0:03:14.880 there because that's what they work, like like that, like 0:03:14.960 --> 0:03:18.359 that's what they do. I'm there. It's the same thing. 0:03:18.400 --> 0:03:20.919 Things are coming in at a certain point you go, 0:03:20.919 --> 0:03:24.480 god damn, you know, and it's there will be little 0:03:24.520 --> 0:03:27.400 small things. This is a football player that had this 0:03:27.520 --> 0:03:29.400 video come out of some altercation. It was in and 0:03:29.400 --> 0:03:32.480 it said savage beating by this and I was just 0:03:32.480 --> 0:03:35.480 looking at the hellline. I'm like, that's I don't think 0:03:35.520 --> 0:03:39.200 we should go savage beating there, Like I think savage 0:03:39.240 --> 0:03:42.480 is like a it's like an interesting way or there's 0:03:42.480 --> 0:03:46.960 just little small things. Uh. The mayor of DC died, 0:03:47.200 --> 0:03:53.160 Maror Marion Barry Crack. Mayor Marion Barry dies like he 0:03:53.280 --> 0:03:55.000 died and like by the way the people in DC 0:03:55.080 --> 0:03:56.560 are going to freak the funk out because I don't 0:03:56.560 --> 0:03:58.200 know if you guys know, but Marion Barry was with 0:03:58.440 --> 0:04:03.320 Martin Luther King Junior like where I'm from, Like I 0:04:03.400 --> 0:04:05.560 deal with a group of people, a community, people that 0:04:06.200 --> 0:04:09.000 are always categorized by the worst moment that they have. 0:04:09.800 --> 0:04:14.920 And I don't feel comfortable with categorizing a man that 0:04:15.000 --> 0:04:17.360 means so much to his city by the worst, most 0:04:17.400 --> 0:04:19.440 scandalous thing he ever had. You can't talk about his 0:04:19.480 --> 0:04:22.279 life without talking about that, but maybe in the headline 0:04:22.279 --> 0:04:26.160 you don't do that. So it so all of those 0:04:26.160 --> 0:04:28.039 things start to start to happen. And so for me, 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:32.120 what the place represents is not even so much a 0:04:32.120 --> 0:04:36.720 bunch of not even so much a bunch of moral 0:04:36.760 --> 0:04:38.360 people that are running around trying to get the dirn 0:04:38.400 --> 0:04:44.640 on celebrities. It represents our relationship to celebrity and our 0:04:44.680 --> 0:04:50.239 relationship to ourselves because there's no fucking reason whatsoever why 0:04:50.279 --> 0:04:53.360 we should spend so much time talking about what happens 0:04:53.360 --> 0:04:56.599 in the lives of famous people. It just really like, 0:04:57.040 --> 0:05:02.200 at its core, it just doesn't matter. And even to 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:05.000 this day on the podcast, I still do it. And 0:05:05.040 --> 0:05:07.760 the reason why I still do it. I don't get 0:05:07.800 --> 0:05:13.000 the stories, but you try to extrapolate larger conversations out 0:05:13.000 --> 0:05:15.919 of these things and talk about them with notable people. 0:05:16.000 --> 0:05:18.200 But really it's just the need to talk about things 0:05:18.200 --> 0:05:20.840 that people care about, and for whatever reason, people care 0:05:20.839 --> 0:05:21.880 about celebrity and fame. 0:05:22.560 --> 0:05:28.000 Okay, can that makes sense? So going back to your story, Yeah, 0:05:28.040 --> 0:05:31.920 so you're at TMZ for nine years, you said, and 0:05:31.960 --> 0:05:33.279 then what happens after that? 0:05:34.279 --> 0:05:34.640 After that? 0:05:35.080 --> 0:05:37.200 Wait, what happened with your ending in TMZ? 0:05:37.480 --> 0:05:40.599 I got fired for what? An altercation inside the office 0:05:41.040 --> 0:05:44.600 with a white boy? 0:05:45.200 --> 0:05:45.960 You say altercation? 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:48.440 No hands? They say I use hands? 0:05:48.839 --> 0:05:54.160 They say you used hands? Did you use hands? Yeah? 0:05:54.600 --> 0:05:55.640 Not in any real way. 0:05:55.720 --> 0:05:59.200 I mean not in a real way. What did you 0:05:59.279 --> 0:05:59.680 like that? 0:06:00.320 --> 0:06:03.960 Like, No, I'm not gonna smack nobody. See, I would 0:06:04.000 --> 0:06:07.680 never This is the funny thing that would never happen, Right. 0:06:07.839 --> 0:06:10.719 That would never happen. You said, a white boy. I'm like, 0:06:10.720 --> 0:06:12.640 maybe you went light on him, you smacked him. 0:06:12.920 --> 0:06:16.120 This guy was my guy, still is my guy. He's 0:06:16.160 --> 0:06:21.760 a Republican. Whatever, tell you what happened. I'm an emotional person. 0:06:22.720 --> 0:06:24.239 I can kind of see that very true. 0:06:24.920 --> 0:06:29.440 Uh, They they wanted me to talk about. There's only 0:06:29.440 --> 0:06:32.560 one thing I don't want to talk about, Hurricane Katrina. 0:06:32.839 --> 0:06:35.160 I just don't want to talk about it. Like even 0:06:35.240 --> 0:06:37.400 saying the name Hurricane Katrina, like right now it makes 0:06:37.400 --> 0:06:38.480 me want to cry. I just don't want to talk 0:06:38.480 --> 0:06:39.680 about it, don't want think about I want to talk 0:06:39.680 --> 0:06:42.080 about don't want talk about it. I don't very tough, 0:06:42.240 --> 0:06:47.200 very hard. And there was this story that had gone 0:06:47.240 --> 0:06:50.680 on in the newsroom earlier where George Bush was being 0:06:50.760 --> 0:06:53.600 cool with like Ellen DeGeneres, thats some football games, and 0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:55.000 I was like, it doesn't matter what you guys say 0:06:55.000 --> 0:06:56.920 about George Bush. I don't give a fuck that he paints. 0:06:56.960 --> 0:06:59.080 I don't give a fuck that show Obama like George Bush, 0:06:59.320 --> 0:07:03.760 fuck George Bush forever, Like it doesn't matter. I don't 0:07:03.800 --> 0:07:06.920 give a fuck. Who's the who's worse fucking forever wheels 0:07:06.960 --> 0:07:09.000 in the water. He didn't care that. The way it 0:07:09.040 --> 0:07:13.280 goes like, hey, we're gonna bring this back and you're 0:07:13.320 --> 0:07:14.840 so passionate about it, and the thing it's like, guys, 0:07:14.880 --> 0:07:17.720 I don't want to talk about it. Oh, I told you, 0:07:17.760 --> 0:07:18.920 I want to talk about guys, And do I want 0:07:18.920 --> 0:07:22.520 talk about Like No, I'm like I'm like, please, please, 0:07:22.800 --> 0:07:24.080 I'm like please, I don't want to. I want to 0:07:24.080 --> 0:07:27.600 discuss it. I'm here, I do everything. I've been the 0:07:27.720 --> 0:07:30.560 funny nigga for a long time. I've been the I do. 0:07:30.760 --> 0:07:33.960 I'm the Swiss Army Knife of niggas. I'm the funny nigga. 0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:36.360 I'm the basketball nigga. I'm the who look at the 0:07:36.440 --> 0:07:39.080 ass nigga. I'm like all that I've been. This just 0:07:39.120 --> 0:07:40.680 I'm saying, don't don't. I don't want to talk about it. 0:07:41.000 --> 0:07:44.120 You gotta do it, fam we need you. Okay. So 0:07:44.120 --> 0:07:45.560 I get on there and I'm talking my whole thing, 0:07:45.680 --> 0:07:48.240 and this guy out there hosting the show, he's cutting 0:07:48.240 --> 0:07:51.680 me off, and he's speaking to me in a way 0:07:51.680 --> 0:07:54.040 that I don't like. Anytime you speak to me in 0:07:54.040 --> 0:07:56.080 a way that I don't like, we have a conversation 0:07:56.160 --> 0:08:00.800 about it, Okay, is it? So? This is le genially 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:02.800 how this happened. I challenge anyone to watch the video. 0:08:03.880 --> 0:08:05.640 Guys up there, he's sitting down, he's doing the show. 0:08:07.120 --> 0:08:10.800 I know him now. I know him like we're friends, 0:08:11.160 --> 0:08:14.520 and we're friends. Now he's up there and he's doing 0:08:14.520 --> 0:08:17.600 the show. He's done this already and I don't want 0:08:17.600 --> 0:08:20.200 to yell at him across the newsroom make a big scene. 0:08:20.680 --> 0:08:22.360 So I go up to him while he's sitting down, 0:08:23.000 --> 0:08:25.640 and I put my hands on his shoulders, and you 0:08:25.680 --> 0:08:27.680 can see me on the video. I'm whispering into his ear. 0:08:29.120 --> 0:08:30.360 I'm whispering into his ear. 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:33.000 Does he turn around to do the whole big scene? 0:08:33.320 --> 0:08:35.559 Nah, he turns around and he moves his hand from 0:08:35.600 --> 0:08:38.000 off my shoulder and I'll move it and then and 0:08:38.000 --> 0:08:39.840 then I whispering to his ear, and I say, and 0:08:39.880 --> 0:08:42.080 you can see me leaving. I pat him on the side. 0:08:42.120 --> 0:08:43.640 You can see me leaving, and I do like this, 0:08:44.080 --> 0:08:46.720 and I walk back. The last thing I said to 0:08:46.800 --> 0:08:50.840 him was not something that you should say to somebody 0:08:50.840 --> 0:08:55.679 in the office. He stood up and I was like, whatever, 0:08:55.720 --> 0:08:56.280 I don't even. 0:08:56.120 --> 0:08:57.440 Want to hear it. 0:08:57.480 --> 0:08:59.120 The last thing that I said is something. And so 0:08:59.160 --> 0:09:01.600 when I said that, Charles said, Van go home. 0:09:02.160 --> 0:09:02.960 What did you say? 0:09:03.640 --> 0:09:06.440 No? So the like so the I mean, the last 0:09:06.440 --> 0:09:10.280 thing was a threat. It was no, no, no, that wasn't. 0:09:10.040 --> 0:09:15.040 A it was a lights out. 0:09:16.360 --> 0:09:18.120 The last thing was a threat. It wasn't a threat 0:09:18.280 --> 0:09:20.680 as in I'm gonna do something to you. It was 0:09:20.679 --> 0:09:23.560 a threat as in these are my limits. 0:09:23.640 --> 0:09:25.000 Yeah, don't cross that line again. 0:09:25.120 --> 0:09:29.120 Yeah, you know, and and that's probably too far for Charles. 0:09:29.200 --> 0:09:31.080 Charles Charles goes Van go home. That's the last time 0:09:31.120 --> 0:09:33.480 I was ever in TMZ. It was funny because when 0:09:33.520 --> 0:09:35.040 they called me, I knew I was gonna have to 0:09:35.080 --> 0:09:36.679 it was gonna have to bench be for a little while, right, 0:09:37.760 --> 0:09:41.160 uh that Yeah, so listen, it's funny. So I'm on 0:09:41.240 --> 0:09:44.760 the thing and I'm like, I'm one of the phone 0:09:44.800 --> 0:09:47.240 with the HR people and they go, yeah, did you 0:09:47.320 --> 0:09:53.880 choke him? And I went wait what And they were 0:09:53.960 --> 0:09:56.440 like yeah, did you put your hands around his neck? 0:09:57.440 --> 0:10:03.679 And I was like oh. And I was like, guys, 0:10:04.520 --> 0:10:11.680 this is Van. Hey, it's me. Circus Bear like, hey, 0:10:11.760 --> 0:10:15.040 it's Vans. This is Van. Think about what you're asking me. 0:10:15.360 --> 0:10:17.440 Think about if you're asking me whether or not I 0:10:17.559 --> 0:10:21.200 choked Mike in in front of the whole newsroom. It's me. 0:10:22.160 --> 0:10:24.880 I know you guys as children, I'd be around y'all 0:10:25.000 --> 0:10:30.680 like it's Van, Hey, it's me. Now come back the 0:10:30.679 --> 0:10:34.199 whole thing. I was like, oh, they about to do me, 0:10:35.120 --> 0:10:40.520 and they did. And it was like the funny thing 0:10:40.520 --> 0:10:47.960 about it was so all of these conversations. It's like 0:10:48.200 --> 0:10:54.079 stuff happens. I end up being terminated. Karen, my manager, 0:10:54.760 --> 0:10:57.280 like automatically has stuff. So we're taking all kinds of meanings. 0:10:57.280 --> 0:10:59.800 We're doing all kinds of stuff. Nobody guys is off 0:10:59.840 --> 0:11:03.360 me right, we're doing the same stuff. Because literally my 0:11:03.440 --> 0:11:06.320 contract was up at TMZ in about four more weeks, 0:11:06.600 --> 0:11:10.320 and I had already told them I wasn't resigning, So 0:11:10.320 --> 0:11:11.480 if they thought they would have had me for a 0:11:11.520 --> 0:11:13.000 longer term, there's no way they would have fired me. 0:11:13.960 --> 0:11:15.839 But it's like whatever, this is a way to try 0:11:15.840 --> 0:11:17.360 to maybe save some money, get off from under it. 0:11:17.360 --> 0:11:17.760 This is cool. 0:11:18.240 --> 0:11:23.880 So my it starts to get around the office that 0:11:23.880 --> 0:11:28.040 I'm not coming back. So my coworkers throw me a 0:11:28.120 --> 0:11:32.040 going away party, including the guy that I supposedly chose 0:11:32.320 --> 0:11:36.720 who comes to the going away party. And after that 0:11:36.720 --> 0:11:40.559 that was on a Saturday, pictures go up on Instagram 0:11:40.600 --> 0:11:45.079 on Monday. Paid six colls me and we heard that 0:11:45.160 --> 0:11:48.480 you got fired. We heard that you got fired. We 0:11:48.480 --> 0:11:50.320 heard it there was some kind of office altercation. We 0:11:50.360 --> 0:11:51.840 heard there was all of this stuff, and I'm like 0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:55.400 fuck now, I'm like god, damn, now I'm the six 0:11:55.440 --> 0:11:59.560 foot fourth scary nigga, are you six four? Don't play 0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:02.720 so now and so and so. Now I'm like and so. 0:12:02.880 --> 0:12:09.240 Now I'm like six foot, I'm like er er And 0:12:09.280 --> 0:12:12.080 they put up an article and the article was like 0:12:12.559 --> 0:12:18.000 super it went soft on me. Everybody loves fan and 0:12:18.040 --> 0:12:21.640 all of this stuff like that. TMZ got their asses kicked. 0:12:22.280 --> 0:12:26.360 Everybody was coming at them, like everybody and so then 0:12:26.559 --> 0:12:30.319 the next day the office struck back. And this is 0:12:30.640 --> 0:12:35.600 one of the most important moments of my career. Yo, 0:12:36.400 --> 0:12:38.360 I talk a lot. I know sometimes it could be 0:12:38.400 --> 0:12:40.000 hard to follow me. But if you don't listen to 0:12:40.040 --> 0:12:45.600 anything else, I say, listen to this. These people don't 0:12:45.760 --> 0:12:50.960 give a fuck about you. They don't tell you what 0:12:51.000 --> 0:12:54.679 we do as black people. Sometimes what we do is 0:12:54.720 --> 0:12:58.240 like the record label becomes a crew and a family. 0:12:59.320 --> 0:13:00.160 Yeah, the. 0:13:02.000 --> 0:13:04.680 Production group becomes a crew and a family. We gotta sign, 0:13:04.720 --> 0:13:06.679 we got a logo, we got all of this stuff 0:13:06.960 --> 0:13:09.040 and boom boom boom, boom boom, and we cool. I 0:13:09.080 --> 0:13:12.199 know your kids, I know I know all of these 0:13:12.200 --> 0:13:15.400 people around you. We didn't talked like your dad has 0:13:15.679 --> 0:13:18.680 passed away. I done took you outside the office. We've 0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:20.960 talked about it. We've gone through all of this. You 0:13:20.960 --> 0:13:24.920 wouldn't do this to me. Not only will they they're 0:13:25.000 --> 0:13:29.559 going to Yeah, like they're going to do it. It's 0:13:29.640 --> 0:13:32.520 like they're going to do you. You're gonna get done. 0:13:33.040 --> 0:13:36.440 You will be done like something like if you are 0:13:36.640 --> 0:13:41.480 if you are making the track towards being somebody important 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:45.160 or influential, somebody is going to do you. You will 0:13:45.200 --> 0:13:49.079 be done. So the question is for you is how 0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:53.520 are you gonna respond to it? As much naive? This 0:13:53.559 --> 0:13:55.160 is coming from a man at that time who was 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:57.439 thirty nine years old. I didn't think they would do 0:13:57.520 --> 0:13:59.320 me that way. And the reason why I didn't think 0:13:59.320 --> 0:14:01.320 they would do me that way, it's not because it's 0:14:01.320 --> 0:14:04.600 because Yo, I know these people. It's to the point 0:14:04.640 --> 0:14:06.640 to me to where if I if I pick up 0:14:06.679 --> 0:14:08.600 your baby and hold your bab I'm from ban Rouge. 0:14:08.600 --> 0:14:10.400 If I pick up your baby, if I don't fuck 0:14:10.440 --> 0:14:11.880 with you and get that little nigg away from me. 0:14:12.000 --> 0:14:14.120 But like if if I pick up your baby and 0:14:14.160 --> 0:14:15.800 hold your baby and all your wife and I've been 0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:18.160 to your crib and all of that stuff, I'm thinking 0:14:18.200 --> 0:14:20.680 that there's gonna be a point where where somebody's gonna 0:14:20.680 --> 0:14:22.120 want to make me look in a certain way and 0:14:22.160 --> 0:14:23.600 somebody's gonna go, we can't do that to that. 0:14:24.080 --> 0:14:26.800 Yeah, but does it also make you wonder like kind 0:14:26.800 --> 0:14:29.280 of going back to the Jesus days, like the whole Judas, 0:14:29.280 --> 0:14:31.880 Like which one like with that piece of advice or 0:14:32.040 --> 0:14:35.840 that's that statement? Do you think that people should be 0:14:36.000 --> 0:14:39.200 also double looking over like which one of their crew 0:14:39.280 --> 0:14:40.720 is gonna be the one that kisses. 0:14:40.440 --> 0:14:43.640 Them on the cheek? No? No, do you know what 0:14:43.680 --> 0:14:50.520 we forget about Judas? What that he got paid? The 0:14:50.600 --> 0:14:55.200 money is the Judas I understand. So so hear me out. 0:14:57.080 --> 0:15:00.880 So the route is always gonna be in the industry itself, the. 0:15:01.280 --> 0:15:06.240 Root, the what pulls you apart, what brings you together 0:15:06.280 --> 0:15:09.680 with these people is the commerce, and what pulls you 0:15:09.720 --> 0:15:13.160 apart is the commerce. Yeah. Sure they liked me, but 0:15:13.200 --> 0:15:16.040 I was good for business. Yeah you know what I mean. Yeah, 0:15:16.040 --> 0:15:19.880 they liked me. They definitely liked me. But I was funny, 0:15:19.960 --> 0:15:25.040 and I was smart, and I was devastatingly handsome, and 0:15:25.080 --> 0:15:27.280 I was and I was all of those they like. 0:15:27.360 --> 0:15:30.280 They they liked me, but I was good for business 0:15:31.120 --> 0:15:32.840 and a lot of the things that I got away 0:15:32.880 --> 0:15:35.640 with there I wouldn't have gotten away with if I 0:15:35.760 --> 0:15:41.720 wasn't good for business, and at that point I was bad. 0:15:41.520 --> 0:15:46.880 For business, but they threw the mud back on you, right. 0:15:46.640 --> 0:15:48.240 So I was bad for business. And the moment that 0:15:48.280 --> 0:15:50.640 I became bad for business we talked about before was 0:15:50.680 --> 0:15:54.600 not a person anymore. It's like a thing. So Judas, Yeah, 0:15:54.920 --> 0:15:56.960 he did what he did. They paid him thirty pieces 0:15:57.000 --> 0:16:01.600 of silver. The thing is going to get you. Just 0:16:01.600 --> 0:16:04.800 be prepared for the thing, the thing when you're no longer, 0:16:04.880 --> 0:16:07.160 when they no longer have to protect you. First of all, 0:16:07.160 --> 0:16:09.200 anybody who doesn't have to protect you won't. That's the 0:16:09.200 --> 0:16:16.640 first thing. And secondly, if you're a threat to the money. 0:16:15.480 --> 0:16:29.360 Yeah, your toast. 0:16:29.560 --> 0:16:31.600 So at that point everybody is making them look bad. 0:16:32.360 --> 0:16:34.960 They're like they don't want to be embarrassed. People are 0:16:35.000 --> 0:16:37.640 asking if TMZ is racist. People are starting to say 0:16:37.640 --> 0:16:41.160 the TMZ fire Van because vancd to Kanye West. It's 0:16:41.320 --> 0:16:43.280 all of this stuff. If somebody would have got on 0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:46.080 the phone with me, I swear to God, if somebody 0:16:46.080 --> 0:16:47.600 would have called me and be like, Van, we're taking 0:16:47.600 --> 0:16:49.720 a beating. Is there something you can say? I'd have 0:16:49.760 --> 0:16:52.880 done them a solid because that's out of done them 0:16:52.880 --> 0:16:56.760 a solid because I had no fucking problem with being 0:16:56.760 --> 0:16:59.120 where I was. It was aw cool. I had everything 0:16:59.160 --> 0:16:59.560 set up. 0:17:00.120 --> 0:17:02.200 So, oh that's what that was gonna be My next question. 0:17:02.240 --> 0:17:05.720 So what was your mindset at when all of this 0:17:05.880 --> 0:17:06.400 was going on? 0:17:06.600 --> 0:17:09.160 I started having heart problems? 0:17:09.960 --> 0:17:12.639 Well, I thought you just said that. What do you 0:17:12.720 --> 0:17:14.040 mean while were you having heart problems? 0:17:14.200 --> 0:17:14.840 Was stressed out? 0:17:15.960 --> 0:17:16.120 Ok? 0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:18.320 Sorry? Like when I say I started having heart problems, 0:17:18.359 --> 0:17:22.840 it's like there's something called preventricular contractions. It's like a 0:17:23.480 --> 0:17:28.800 skipping of the beat. Like I was so stressed that 0:17:29.040 --> 0:17:32.840 I was like to play basketball very active. I was 0:17:32.840 --> 0:17:34.960 so stressed that my heart started missing timy. It was 0:17:34.960 --> 0:17:36.560 boom boom boom boom boom boom. 0:17:36.720 --> 0:17:39.200 When you were stressed over what just the whole transition 0:17:39.640 --> 0:17:41.520 and where your next road was going? 0:17:41.600 --> 0:17:44.560 Yeah, the whole deal, think about it, right, like the 0:17:44.560 --> 0:17:47.000 whole deal. But here's the deal though. I say all 0:17:47.000 --> 0:17:55.520 this to say this. People look for God in like 0:17:55.640 --> 0:17:57.920 the sky, but sometimes God is on the ground too, 0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:01.000 and he's like right where you're walking. I had to 0:18:01.040 --> 0:18:03.920 go through that, you know why, because I had to 0:18:03.960 --> 0:18:07.360 put people through that. I had to go through that 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:13.239 because I had written and hit publish on headlines that 0:18:13.320 --> 0:18:17.000 had made people feel that way. I had got on 0:18:17.080 --> 0:18:19.840 TV and talked about people in a way that made 0:18:19.840 --> 0:18:22.880 them go, shit, these people don't know me. I had 0:18:22.880 --> 0:18:27.560 been a part of stories that portrayed people in a 0:18:27.680 --> 0:18:31.200 light that's not quite accurate to who they actually are 0:18:31.240 --> 0:18:33.080 without me really knowing them. I had been a part 0:18:33.119 --> 0:18:33.320 of that. 0:18:33.760 --> 0:18:36.720 So but you had You've been a part of it 0:18:36.760 --> 0:18:39.439 without the relationship. It's different. Obviously if you have the 0:18:39.480 --> 0:18:41.440 relationship and you're pushing the published button. 0:18:41.320 --> 0:18:45.440 That all feels the same. Because like for me seeing 0:18:45.480 --> 0:18:48.119 me on page six and seeing me going through all 0:18:48.119 --> 0:18:50.600 of this stuff and me going, hey, guys, you guys 0:18:50.640 --> 0:18:52.399 know me. This is not the thing. This is not 0:18:52.480 --> 0:18:56.480 the deal seeing something out of context played up. All 0:18:56.760 --> 0:19:01.200 the little micro feelings about black men are right there. 0:19:01.359 --> 0:19:04.360 Which is a maritime before Van snapped. It's a maritime 0:19:04.440 --> 0:19:07.240 before Van hurt somebody. This was a maritime before he 0:19:07.280 --> 0:19:09.040 showed us who he really is. Remember, when a white 0:19:09.040 --> 0:19:12.600 person does something wrong, it's somebody who did something wrong. 0:19:12.840 --> 0:19:15.119 When a black person does something wrong, they're showing us 0:19:15.160 --> 0:19:18.000 who they really are the whole time. So it's so 0:19:18.440 --> 0:19:22.159 so all of this stuff, it's like I went through that, 0:19:22.240 --> 0:19:23.679 and I was like, Okay, cool, no more of that 0:19:23.720 --> 0:19:26.399 for me. I have to feel that, like, I'm not 0:19:26.440 --> 0:19:28.480 one of those persons. I always get caught when I 0:19:28.480 --> 0:19:31.960 do something wrong. I always it always comes back to me. 0:19:32.720 --> 0:19:35.520 He don't want me to escape without feeling it. Yeah, 0:19:35.560 --> 0:19:37.600 so it always comes back to me. And I could 0:19:37.680 --> 0:19:41.639 not leave there having done the Kanye thing and looked 0:19:41.680 --> 0:19:45.040 like some kind of big deal or whatever. I could 0:19:45.040 --> 0:19:47.000 not have left there without being on the other side 0:19:47.000 --> 0:19:49.920 of a headline. And so that's the way it went. 0:19:50.560 --> 0:19:52.880 Take the lesson, move on, continue to do dope shit, 0:19:53.480 --> 0:19:57.840 do as much as you can, but like it. And also, 0:19:58.200 --> 0:20:00.280 you know, I had been to grilled cheese laying already. 0:20:00.680 --> 0:20:03.840 If I had to go back there again, I could. 0:20:03.600 --> 0:20:08.679 Now that you're older, do you It's I've been to 0:20:08.840 --> 0:20:11.480 the broke land. But I promise you I'm terrified of 0:20:11.520 --> 0:20:13.320 going back. But I meet so many people on this 0:20:13.359 --> 0:20:16.880 show that'll be like, I'll fault bankruptcy. I'll go back again. 0:20:17.000 --> 0:20:19.600 I'm not worried about it. You're not at that phase 0:20:19.600 --> 0:20:21.720 where you really genuinely don't want to go back. 0:20:21.760 --> 0:20:23.919 To me, I can't go back now. I could if 0:20:23.920 --> 0:20:26.919 I had to go back, it would happen, right, But 0:20:26.960 --> 0:20:27.920 I can't go back now. 0:20:28.080 --> 0:20:29.080 Why do you see that. 0:20:28.920 --> 0:20:32.199 We lost dad? So we lost dad in twenty twenty one, 0:20:33.160 --> 0:20:36.680 and it just changed, like it changed everything, like when 0:20:36.720 --> 0:20:38.880 we lost them, when we lost the old man. It's 0:20:38.960 --> 0:20:42.960 like I remember when you get the news. I go 0:20:43.040 --> 0:20:45.560 to ban Rouge and right away people start asking me 0:20:45.600 --> 0:20:48.560 stuff and it really didn't matter. I'm not used to 0:20:48.560 --> 0:20:52.040 people asking me stuff like in a family way, and 0:20:52.040 --> 0:20:56.360 then my decision being what they do and shout out 0:20:56.359 --> 0:21:00.040 to Bill Man, like you know, Bill goes So, I 0:21:00.400 --> 0:21:03.520 a guy work with at the Ringer. Bill hit Bill. 0:21:03.560 --> 0:21:06.280 I'm like, Bill goes Hey. He's like, man, He's like 0:21:06.320 --> 0:21:09.040 he's honest with me right there. He's like, man, I'm 0:21:09.040 --> 0:21:11.520 telling you right now, when you go down there, now 0:21:11.600 --> 0:21:13.560 it's gonna be different, Like you're going to have to 0:21:13.560 --> 0:21:15.600 be the guy. And I'm not saying that I am 0:21:15.640 --> 0:21:16.480 the guy in my family. 0:21:16.520 --> 0:21:18.760 I'm just saying that, like, you're also the youngest, aren't you. 0:21:19.240 --> 0:21:23.439 Yeah, I'm the youngest, but I'm also I mean, in 0:21:23.560 --> 0:21:26.960 terms of this immediate family, I want to parse apart 0:21:27.000 --> 0:21:32.520 all my family dynamics, but like they rely on me, 0:21:33.440 --> 0:21:38.080 so it it. So because of that now it's not 0:21:38.119 --> 0:21:41.800 even now. The fucking roof gotta get changed. Like stuff 0:21:41.840 --> 0:21:44.959