WEBVTT - Omar Epps Full Interview 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.080 Listening makes us smarter, more connected people. It makes us 0:00:03.080 --> 0:00:06.240 better partners, parents, and leaders, and there's no better place 0:00:06.280 --> 0:00:09.280 to start listening than Audible. Audible is where so many 0:00:09.320 --> 0:00:12.600 inspiring voices and compelling stories open listeners up to new 0:00:12.640 --> 0:00:15.760 experiences in ways of thinking. Audible members now get more 0:00:15.800 --> 0:00:18.880 than ever before. Members choose three titles every month, one 0:00:18.880 --> 0:00:22.000 audiobook plus two Audible originals that you can't hear anywhere else. 0:00:22.320 --> 0:00:24.760 Members also have unlimited access to more than a hundred 0:00:24.840 --> 0:00:29.280 audio guided fitness and meditation programs. Audible delivers best sellers, business, 0:00:29.320 --> 0:00:33.360 self improvement memoirs, and more, all professionally narrated by actors, authors, 0:00:33.360 --> 0:00:37.400 and motivational superstars like Rachel Hollis, David Goggins, and Mel Robbins. 0:00:37.479 --> 0:00:39.879 Audible members can also get free access to the New 0:00:39.960 --> 0:00:43.000 York Times, Wall Street Journal, and Washington Post delivered daily 0:00:43.040 --> 0:00:45.479 to the Audible app. With a convenient app, members can 0:00:45.520 --> 0:00:48.640 access Audible any time at the gym, while commuting or 0:00:48.680 --> 0:00:51.040 on the go, and on any device will always pick 0:00:51.200 --> 0:00:54.160 right back up where you left off. Audible also offers 0:00:54.160 --> 0:00:56.920 free and easy audiobook exchanges. Credits you can roll over 0:00:56.960 --> 0:00:59.680 for a year in a library you keep forever, even 0:00:59.680 --> 0:01:02.320 if you cancel. Explore all the ways listening on Audible 0:01:02.360 --> 0:01:06.360 can help improve mind, body, and soul with entertainment, information 0:01:06.600 --> 0:01:08.800 and inspiration. You can get titles from your favorite I 0:01:08.880 --> 0:01:12.000 Heeart talent such as Chelsea Handler, Danny Shapiro, Charlemagne the God, 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:14.399 and Bobby Bones on Audible. Start listening now with a 0:01:14.440 --> 0:01:17.360 thirty day Audible trial and your first audiobook plus two 0:01:17.360 --> 0:01:20.880 Audible originals are free. Visit audible dot com, slash I 0:01:21.040 --> 0:01:24.280 heart or text I Heeart to five hundred, five hundred. 0:01:24.480 --> 0:01:28.040 My next guest, Are you Ready? Is an actor, rapper, songwriter, 0:01:28.160 --> 0:01:32.080 and record producer. His film roles include Juice That's what 0:01:32.920 --> 0:01:37.000 my man Tupac Shakool way back in the day, I 0:01:37.040 --> 0:01:38.840 was just living in New York where that saw this movie. 0:01:38.920 --> 0:01:43.039 How You're learning? You know? That's what Tire Banks, she 0:01:43.319 --> 0:01:46.840 was the wood into Deep. What's more? Boy L L 0:01:46.920 --> 0:01:49.760 COO j As when he was an undercover cop. I'm 0:01:49.800 --> 0:01:54.320 talking about his character and loving basketball. So now Layton, 0:01:54.600 --> 0:01:57.320 everybody goes, can he really pay basketball? Cade? Bayround? That 0:01:57.360 --> 0:01:59.600 was a really groundbricking movie because it was it was 0:01:59.680 --> 0:02:03.000 young love. It was really young love had really been 0:02:03.040 --> 0:02:04.840 featured like that in the in the movies, and they 0:02:05.000 --> 0:02:07.720 that was a groundbreaker. His television work includes the roll 0:02:07.760 --> 0:02:11.239 of Dr Dennis Gant on the medical drama series e Er. 0:02:11.360 --> 0:02:13.400 I remember when they cast his brother on e Er 0:02:14.240 --> 0:02:18.680 and then he died. But the way he died, they 0:02:18.840 --> 0:02:21.720 called his phone the beeper and the beeple went off 0:02:21.760 --> 0:02:24.040 and it was operating on that. Man. That all that 0:02:24.200 --> 0:02:26.000 messed me up. Man, that messed me up. He's run 0:02:26.080 --> 0:02:30.240 over by train far and Dr Martin Bellamy in Resurrection. 0:02:30.280 --> 0:02:32.240 He's played a lot of doctors. He's just he don't 0:02:32.240 --> 0:02:34.480 have a medical degree nowhere, but he played doctors on 0:02:34.600 --> 0:02:36.799 TV and The House from two thousand and four to 0:02:36.880 --> 0:02:39.120 two thousand twelve. He is currently shooting the third season 0:02:39.160 --> 0:02:41.840 of The Shooter on USA Network. He was on the 0:02:41.880 --> 0:02:44.680 Show Now to discuss his career and his new book, 0:02:44.919 --> 0:02:48.280 From Fatherless to Fatherhood, which is now available now on 0:02:48.480 --> 0:02:52.160 Baunch and Noble dot com, Amazon dot com, Lulu dot com. 0:02:52.400 --> 0:02:58.959 Please welcome to Money Making Conversation Omar Epps, and let's 0:02:58.960 --> 0:03:03.919 say about you and let's say not you. I appreciate it, man, 0:03:03.960 --> 0:03:06.000 I appreciate it. Well, I'm gonna just tell you something. 0:03:06.040 --> 0:03:07.600 Let's get to this book. Man, I want to read 0:03:07.639 --> 0:03:09.639 a quote from this book. I read the book, and uh, 0:03:10.000 --> 0:03:13.320 I always I always find a certain value system when 0:03:13.320 --> 0:03:16.880 I read about people, right stories, especially stories. Your book 0:03:16.960 --> 0:03:21.280 is as a personal journey about growing up with our father. 0:03:22.240 --> 0:03:26.560 And unfortunately that's very Um that's not nothing unusual, especially 0:03:26.600 --> 0:03:29.760 in the African American community. And why was it important 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:34.280 to tell your story to us? Well, for that exact reason. 0:03:34.400 --> 0:03:37.440 What you just said is that we've we've normalized that, um, 0:03:37.760 --> 0:03:41.440 you know, the fatherless household in our community, and we 0:03:41.680 --> 0:03:45.600 have to we have to evolve, We have to. I 0:03:45.760 --> 0:03:48.560 want to write them a book about my story, share 0:03:48.680 --> 0:03:50.680 my story that hopefully it could be used as a 0:03:50.760 --> 0:03:53.720 tool of inspiration, so that we changed the narrative on 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:56.680 that so that these young brothers coming up, you know, 0:03:56.760 --> 0:03:59.000 look at that like it's not cool. You know, like 0:04:00.000 --> 0:04:02.680 me and the Bober Shop, we all friends, and one 0:04:02.720 --> 0:04:05.960 of us know, you know, not handling any responsibilities as 0:04:06.000 --> 0:04:09.080 a father. Then you lane, now you know, and you 0:04:09.200 --> 0:04:11.120 get back on track. Though you always have the power 0:04:11.160 --> 0:04:14.360 with choice at your disposal to to get back on track. 0:04:14.440 --> 0:04:16.279 So that's really where it came from, man, just trying 0:04:16.320 --> 0:04:21.000 to help shift that narrative. And it's important because the 0:04:21.120 --> 0:04:25.440 song that you mentioned, by the incredible Tupox Brender's Got 0:04:25.520 --> 0:04:28.000 a Baby. I remember that book movie. That song came 0:04:28.040 --> 0:04:31.160 out back in ninety two two time frame. It was 0:04:31.240 --> 0:04:36.919 such a powerful song, uh, and it still resonates today. 0:04:37.480 --> 0:04:39.320 And you mentioned that, and I want to allow you 0:04:39.520 --> 0:04:42.240 to speak on what you felt that was his goal 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:45.800 was when he uh produced the song and put it 0:04:45.839 --> 0:04:49.040 out and then you thought that nobody listened because you 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:51.320 brought that up in your book, and because the book 0:04:51.480 --> 0:04:53.600 the song was an incredible song to Brenda's Got a 0:04:53.600 --> 0:04:56.479 Baby by two Poor Corps. It's a it's a song 0:04:56.600 --> 0:04:59.760 about a young lady who of course gets pregnant to 0:05:00.000 --> 0:05:03.039 early and uh, what happens all too often, not only 0:05:03.200 --> 0:05:05.599 just in the African Americans, just some communities in general. 0:05:06.000 --> 0:05:08.480 But in this case, we're talking about the African American community. 0:05:08.920 --> 0:05:11.160 And you mentioned that in the book. So explain to 0:05:11.279 --> 0:05:14.400 us why did you mentioned it in the book. Well, 0:05:14.480 --> 0:05:16.800 because you know, for that particular song, I was I 0:05:16.960 --> 0:05:20.160 was bad from this inception. Um. We were on the 0:05:20.279 --> 0:05:25.640 set of Juice one day and one morning in two 0:05:25.720 --> 0:05:28.480 pocket read that you know, the daily paper, and it 0:05:28.640 --> 0:05:30.200 was I'm from New York. So we were in New 0:05:30.279 --> 0:05:34.040 York and filming and a woman had thrown a baby 0:05:34.080 --> 0:05:36.960 in the trash and he was just so so affected 0:05:37.040 --> 0:05:39.839 by that. And at the time, I'm like, man, read 0:05:39.880 --> 0:05:41.880 about stuff like that all the time out here, and 0:05:41.960 --> 0:05:44.080 he was just so affected by that. And by lunchtime 0:05:44.160 --> 0:05:46.320 he said, oh, coming to trailer. So I went in 0:05:46.360 --> 0:05:49.480 Austraila and he starts, you know, wrapping these verses to me, 0:05:50.120 --> 0:05:52.600 and I'm listening. I'm like, land, that's you know, that's deep, 0:05:52.800 --> 0:05:55.680 but I'm not knowing what it is. And then two 0:05:55.760 --> 0:05:58.920 months later, you know, his I heard Brenda's Got a 0:05:58.960 --> 0:06:00.640 Baby for the first sense. So soon as I heard 0:06:00.680 --> 0:06:03.559 the song, I said, oh, that's the that's the joint. 0:06:03.760 --> 0:06:06.200 So I went back to that exact moment, and I 0:06:06.320 --> 0:06:08.880 just thought it was so profound to see that his 0:06:09.160 --> 0:06:13.160 his uh, his his artistic process in that way musically, 0:06:13.240 --> 0:06:15.920 like wow, he really took a real life event and 0:06:16.080 --> 0:06:20.040 shifted it into a greater story. And he was really 0:06:20.080 --> 0:06:23.280 trying to spark spark mind, you know. And so that's 0:06:23.320 --> 0:06:25.720 why that that that's why I mentioned that in the book, 0:06:25.720 --> 0:06:28.200 because I was a profound moment for me well, to 0:06:28.279 --> 0:06:30.799 say the least. Now, on the phone with Omar Epps 0:06:31.240 --> 0:06:34.360 his book From Fatherless to Fatherhood. There in the back 0:06:34.400 --> 0:06:36.320 of the book, it was a verse that I want 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:39.279 to say that I felt was really important to say 0:06:39.360 --> 0:06:41.480 doing this interview, and he reached like this, this is 0:06:41.520 --> 0:06:45.640 from your book, Omar, to all those fathers who've fallen off. 0:06:46.360 --> 0:06:48.080 You don't have to You don't have the luxury of 0:06:48.160 --> 0:06:51.040 catching amnesia just because your relationship with the mother of 0:06:51.080 --> 0:06:54.400 your child didn't work. That woman is the mother of 0:06:54.480 --> 0:06:57.640 your child, period. Why would you even try to turn 0:06:57.760 --> 0:07:00.800 her kid against her. Plus, when it's all said and done, 0:07:01.400 --> 0:07:06.640 neither of you wins, only your child will lose. Wow. 0:07:06.720 --> 0:07:10.160 You know, yeah, I mean that's real man. You know 0:07:10.240 --> 0:07:15.640 I try to I try to, uh speak on different scenarios, right, Like, 0:07:15.840 --> 0:07:18.480 you know, a lot of things happen. Sometimes things don't 0:07:18.480 --> 0:07:21.560 happen in a traditional way. Uh. You know, you can 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:23.520 have a child out of wedline, you could be married 0:07:23.600 --> 0:07:26.480 in relationships dissolves, you might just be boyfriend girl, whatever 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:29.520 the scenario is. At the end of the day, you know, 0:07:29.720 --> 0:07:32.760 once you once to people make a commitment to have 0:07:32.920 --> 0:07:35.600 a child, um and they have to put that child 0:07:35.720 --> 0:07:39.200 they're making a lifelong commitment to each other regardless of 0:07:40.080 --> 0:07:42.720 what happens, you know, in their love relationship, you know, 0:07:43.160 --> 0:07:46.200 in terms of intimacy regards, if that dissolves, they still 0:07:46.280 --> 0:07:49.440 have a lifelong commitment you know, to this child and 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:53.240 to each other. So you know, it's just trying to 0:07:53.360 --> 0:07:55.720 drop jews for the young brothers to think about that 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:58.320 before they make certain moves and when they make those moves, 0:07:58.360 --> 0:08:00.760 to keep that in mind, because I get it. It's hard, 0:08:00.960 --> 0:08:03.320 you know, and I even try to speak to UM 0:08:04.000 --> 0:08:07.040 women in the book and in some the same ways. 0:08:07.200 --> 0:08:09.320 You know, there's a lot of emotional things can happen. 0:08:09.440 --> 0:08:12.680 There's a lot of um scorn and resentment. But still 0:08:13.760 --> 0:08:16.360 that's the father of your child, you know. Now that's 0:08:16.400 --> 0:08:19.680 that's important because you have that relationship. You know you 0:08:19.840 --> 0:08:23.600 have you know, you're you're married currently to Keisha Um 0:08:24.200 --> 0:08:27.120 and then you have to jet the child before that relationship. 0:08:27.280 --> 0:08:29.120 And so that's kind of like what you're saying right 0:08:29.160 --> 0:08:31.400 there is that you know, you didn't turn your back 0:08:31.520 --> 0:08:34.240 on your child other relationship because you didn't want your 0:08:34.360 --> 0:08:37.800 child to lose. Because that's why that's why I liked 0:08:37.840 --> 0:08:40.199 the book. That's why I like, That's why I'm happy 0:08:40.240 --> 0:08:43.040 you're on the show, because I love people who lead 0:08:43.080 --> 0:08:46.480 by example, who say, look, look i'm gonna tell you something. 0:08:46.520 --> 0:08:49.040 I'm not just speaking it, I'm living it. I I 0:08:49.160 --> 0:08:51.319 went through the consequences, I went through the trials and 0:08:51.400 --> 0:08:53.760 trip relations of realizing that the person who had my 0:08:53.880 --> 0:08:56.400 first child was not the person I was gonna be 0:08:56.520 --> 0:08:58.600 with for the rest of my life. But that didn't 0:08:58.640 --> 0:09:01.800 mean I didn't have to walk away from the responsibilities 0:09:02.120 --> 0:09:06.120 of my child, right right, And that's all it comes 0:09:06.160 --> 0:09:08.960 down to, man, It's it's really the power of choice 0:09:09.040 --> 0:09:12.199 and and um, you know, and working through it and 0:09:12.320 --> 0:09:15.559 figuring it out. You know, nobody has the blueprint, and 0:09:16.040 --> 0:09:19.480 when it comes to parenthood, everyone's blueprint is is it's 0:09:19.559 --> 0:09:22.880 kind of different. Um, so you just said. But the 0:09:23.400 --> 0:09:26.559 thing is, when you make that commitment, you find your way. 0:09:26.840 --> 0:09:28.640 You find your way, you find what works for you. 0:09:28.840 --> 0:09:32.439 You know, you can take tidbits from other people. Hopefully 0:09:32.520 --> 0:09:35.360 people have a solid support system, you know, because at 0:09:35.400 --> 0:09:37.920 the end of the day, it really does take a village. Um. 0:09:38.320 --> 0:09:40.640 But I'm really trying to speak I'm speaking to everyone, 0:09:40.720 --> 0:09:43.760 but I'm honing in specifically on men um in our 0:09:43.800 --> 0:09:46.319 community have to feel you have to, you know, we 0:09:46.440 --> 0:09:49.719 have to exactly exactly because of men shape the way 0:09:49.760 --> 0:09:53.079 a girl, a young lady should be treated, you know, 0:09:53.160 --> 0:09:55.280 if she's if it's a bad environment and a young 0:09:55.360 --> 0:09:57.840 lady can think that she's all right to get beat on, okay, 0:09:58.120 --> 0:09:59.920 all right to be cheated on, all right to be 0:10:00.600 --> 0:10:02.800 no door being open when they walk up to the car, 0:10:03.080 --> 0:10:05.600 you know, just you know, they think that's the way 0:10:05.600 --> 0:10:08.960 it's supposed to be. So man play that role more vitally. 0:10:09.040 --> 0:10:10.959 But when we come back, we got to talk about 0:10:11.000 --> 0:10:14.320 the the young lady. I say young because she's by 0:10:14.400 --> 0:10:18.240 my age. Who who made you who you are today, Bonnie? 0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:20.640 So let's like, let's just let's talk about the negative. 0:10:20.720 --> 0:10:23.160 Let's talk about this the spirit inside of the person 0:10:23.480 --> 0:10:26.520 who throughout all the complications did not leave you right 0:10:26.559 --> 0:10:29.480 back with more all my ELPs. Hi this ra Sean McDonald. 0:10:29.480 --> 0:10:31.920 You're listening to money making conversations. I'm gonna just tell 0:10:31.960 --> 0:10:35.400 everybody doing this show, it's been very um opening for 0:10:35.480 --> 0:10:37.960 me as a person, as a man, because you get 0:10:38.000 --> 0:10:39.719 to meet people, get to talk to people, talk with 0:10:39.840 --> 0:10:43.240 people who who are doing things outside of their career 0:10:43.320 --> 0:10:46.400 and then making the decision, the conscious effort that what 0:10:46.559 --> 0:10:48.800 they do in life has to be more than what 0:10:48.920 --> 0:10:51.679 they're currently doing. And on the phone, that's a gentleman 0:10:51.720 --> 0:10:54.640 who's doing that. He's a very talented actor. You've seen 0:10:54.760 --> 0:10:58.280 his work. His body work is incredible. I joked about 0:10:58.320 --> 0:11:01.319 some of the things I've experienced why watching him. I 0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:03.600 remember when he when he was cast we're talking about 0:11:03.600 --> 0:11:06.000 all my ELPs. When he was cast on e ER 0:11:06.360 --> 0:11:08.480 it was a big deal. That was a big deal. 0:11:08.559 --> 0:11:10.360 When he was cast on the R. That's when that's 0:11:10.360 --> 0:11:12.360 when they had George Cluney on. That's when e R 0:11:12.440 --> 0:11:15.439 was e R and uh and and you you was 0:11:15.559 --> 0:11:18.920 this young doctor man. And I'm just letting you know that. 0:11:19.640 --> 0:11:22.920 You know, I'm older than you. And the fact that 0:11:23.400 --> 0:11:26.800 that character you played on that show had a positive 0:11:26.920 --> 0:11:31.160 impact on me because you you you penetrated the hit show, 0:11:31.200 --> 0:11:33.640 a number one show in NBC, and you was a 0:11:33.920 --> 0:11:38.480 character I was like, man on my apps on e ER. Wow, 0:11:39.559 --> 0:11:43.880 and and that do you understand that? I apologize I 0:11:43.920 --> 0:11:47.000 shouldn't say do you understand? But do you the impact 0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:49.559 that you make on people with some of your roles, 0:11:49.960 --> 0:11:53.319 how do you deal with that? I mean, that's what 0:11:53.600 --> 0:11:55.880 that's what I do it for. You know. You know 0:11:56.040 --> 0:12:01.079 I come from uh an incredible um woman, you know, 0:12:01.200 --> 0:12:03.760 my mother, and she's you know, she's still my superhero 0:12:03.840 --> 0:12:05.880 to this day. But I say that because my mother 0:12:06.040 --> 0:12:09.959 was an educator in her professional career, and so very 0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:13.720 early on, I just saw how many people she she affected. 0:12:13.800 --> 0:12:15.439 You know, how many people even when I when I 0:12:15.559 --> 0:12:18.640 first came into the entertainment business. So I can't tell 0:12:18.679 --> 0:12:21.320 you how many people, UM in New York would come 0:12:21.400 --> 0:12:23.640 up to me and say, hey, man, you know your mom, 0:12:23.800 --> 0:12:26.640 you know, tell us it's big head Brad, you know, 0:12:26.880 --> 0:12:29.080 telling if it wasn't for her saying such and such, 0:12:29.200 --> 0:12:31.760 you know, I'm doing this now, and I'm doing that now, 0:12:31.880 --> 0:12:35.200 and and and how many people's lives she really affected? 0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:38.160 And then the positive So for me, that's just in me. 0:12:38.280 --> 0:12:40.839 And for me, my my weapon is artist shoot. So 0:12:40.920 --> 0:12:45.760 I've always been conscious of trying to portray positive imagery 0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:49.679 and and and um to to penetrate the subconscious because 0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:53.079 you know, just seeing that image it's powerful. Like you know, 0:12:53.120 --> 0:12:54.640 I even talk about this in the book. You know, 0:12:54.720 --> 0:12:57.640 the first time I saw a happy, functional black family 0:12:57.760 --> 0:13:00.200 was a guy to be shop. I was like kid. 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:02.880 And so when you're a young kid in that like 0:13:03.040 --> 0:13:05.640 man he's a doctor that the wives they laugh, they 0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:07.839 love each other. The kids seem to be I want 0:13:07.880 --> 0:13:10.800 to I want to be like that right when I 0:13:10.880 --> 0:13:13.360 have kids. And so yeah, I've always been aware of 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:18.360 um those possibilities, but it's it's it's humbling, you know, 0:13:18.520 --> 0:13:20.880 it's very humbling. I had a young brother come up 0:13:20.920 --> 0:13:24.079 to me not too long ago who said that, you know, 0:13:24.240 --> 0:13:28.160 I helped him seeing me on the show house by 0:13:28.320 --> 0:13:31.400 him to be a doctor. And then you know, the 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:33.800 brother was going to get a double PhD. I said, wow, 0:13:33.960 --> 0:13:37.400 that that's incredible. Now, it always says when as you 0:13:37.520 --> 0:13:40.199 grow up, it impacts you as an adult. You grew 0:13:40.280 --> 0:13:43.960 up without a father and then you have a child, 0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:48.040 and that starts to weigh on you. Are you following 0:13:48.080 --> 0:13:53.040 in your father's footsteps? How did you get that balance? 0:13:53.080 --> 0:13:55.000 And I talked about balance on this show a lot. 0:13:55.160 --> 0:13:57.760 You know, because you're successful at the time, you're still successful. 0:13:57.760 --> 0:14:01.560 I apologize, you know, you even in l A doing 0:14:01.640 --> 0:14:05.520 your thing. Sometimes you know, these roles travel you out 0:14:05.559 --> 0:14:07.440 of state. Sometimes they travel you out of the country, 0:14:07.559 --> 0:14:09.480 and you can't be the parent that the day to 0:14:09.559 --> 0:14:11.760 day parent that you want to be that you didn't 0:14:11.800 --> 0:14:13.800 have r How did you? Why were you able to 0:14:13.880 --> 0:14:16.839 reconcile that? Because I saw that beautiful picture all through 0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:18.959 your children in the end, that's the best picture in 0:14:19.000 --> 0:14:23.320 the book. Ohm, Okay, that's listen about I mean, you know, 0:14:23.400 --> 0:14:27.440 it's it's no different uh than any any working parents 0:14:27.520 --> 0:14:30.120 you know, or any working household with you know, both 0:14:30.200 --> 0:14:33.160 parents are working, or you know specifically for for working 0:14:33.240 --> 0:14:35.800 farther's It's hard, you know, but you try to find 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:39.560 that balance. It's kind of an Evan flow, um well 0:14:39.640 --> 0:14:41.600 specifically for what I do. It's not a nine of 0:14:41.680 --> 0:14:43.840 five things. The point it's like, you know, I might 0:14:43.880 --> 0:14:45.800 be gone for three months out of the book, you know, 0:14:45.920 --> 0:14:49.960 working on um you know, but you just find you 0:14:50.280 --> 0:14:52.200 try to find that balance. And I speak a lot 0:14:52.480 --> 0:14:55.920 on it in the book. UM. What's been really profound 0:14:56.000 --> 0:14:58.560 to me when I've been out there talking about the 0:14:58.600 --> 0:15:01.960 book is how many people, um have to share their 0:15:02.000 --> 0:15:04.280 stories with me that grew up with their father, but 0:15:04.520 --> 0:15:08.320 the father in the household wasn't really active, you know, 0:15:08.440 --> 0:15:11.240 so they were there, but they weren't. And I touched 0:15:11.320 --> 0:15:14.320 on that, um uh in the book. It's about being 0:15:14.400 --> 0:15:18.080 active and it's about being present. So you just, you know, 0:15:18.120 --> 0:15:20.680 if you're working in it's tough work, long hours, you 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:22.840 just gotta make the time. You know, you gotta make 0:15:22.880 --> 0:15:25.360 the time. And everyone does it different ways. You know, 0:15:25.480 --> 0:15:28.600 some people do you know, every Friday they go to 0:15:28.640 --> 0:15:31.440 the movies, so you know, every Saturday they go out 0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:33.520 to the park and or you know, you find some 0:15:33.680 --> 0:15:36.080 sort of you want to create some sort of consistency 0:15:36.680 --> 0:15:38.880 because at the end of the day, time is the 0:15:38.920 --> 0:15:41.400 most invaluable thing on earth. And that's all children ever 0:15:41.480 --> 0:15:44.160 really remember, is the time you spent well, you know, 0:15:44.280 --> 0:15:48.160 I'm like your regular dude. Man, You're a regular dude. 0:15:48.200 --> 0:15:51.320 And I say that complimentary too, in a complimentary tone too, 0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:55.520 because your mom did you right, man, she she she 0:15:55.680 --> 0:16:00.520 gave you values that make you successful, don't make you 0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:03.000 above the success. You know what I'm talking about. You 0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:06.840 know those people. And because I can hear the sincerity 0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:09.400 in your voice, it was a quote that you know, 0:16:09.680 --> 0:16:11.440 this book is full of quote. I'm on the phone 0:16:11.480 --> 0:16:14.200 with all my apps in this book, from Fatherless to Fatherhood. 0:16:14.280 --> 0:16:16.600 You can get that Bones and Noble, Amazon dot com. 0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:19.200 You know, and you should get this book, and uh, 0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:21.880 it's a it's a because the problem I always have 0:16:22.160 --> 0:16:25.920 with with books because you know, women buy books. Women 0:16:25.960 --> 0:16:28.720 will buy book. Men on the other hand, who need 0:16:28.840 --> 0:16:31.040 to be reading this book, I don't think I need 0:16:31.080 --> 0:16:33.160 to read that, and I would just change that because 0:16:33.200 --> 0:16:35.440 it's something you should read because of the fact that 0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:37.280 it's a good it's good read for me, and I 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:39.560 feel I'm a good father. But you know, I'm like you. 0:16:39.680 --> 0:16:41.640 I'm in the business, so I know what you're talking about. 0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:44.040 Sometimes I was living in New York. Sometimes I've raised 0:16:44.080 --> 0:16:47.120 my daughter over the phone. I got some I got 0:16:47.200 --> 0:16:50.120 some baby talk on my you leave voice messages that 0:16:50.200 --> 0:16:52.080 I'm gonna give it to her one day and they're 0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:54.200 gonna probably make her cry when she was just talking 0:16:54.280 --> 0:16:56.880 and leave messages on my she's never just know. I 0:16:56.960 --> 0:16:59.760 got my thirty of those when she ye daddy, my daddy, 0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:03.160 you know, all through it's like one through five, one 0:17:03.240 --> 0:17:06.480 through five of her just leaving messages on my phone. 0:17:06.480 --> 0:17:08.240 I was able to capture them and put them on CD. 0:17:08.480 --> 0:17:09.920 I'm gonna give them to him one day because I 0:17:10.080 --> 0:17:13.360 know what you're saying is that you know it's important 0:17:13.359 --> 0:17:16.120 to try to be your father. More important, it's important 0:17:16.160 --> 0:17:18.200 to try to be a father who's responsible to the 0:17:18.640 --> 0:17:21.840 to the activity of giving your child the advice, the 0:17:21.960 --> 0:17:25.000 guidance because there's so many things special with social media, 0:17:25.040 --> 0:17:27.600 you know what I'm talking about, Alma. You know, you 0:17:27.800 --> 0:17:30.480 you're you're, you're, you're, you're a superstar, dude. You you know, 0:17:30.560 --> 0:17:33.439 you're celebrit recognizable talent on television all the time, your 0:17:33.440 --> 0:17:36.240 movies all the time, and so your children are impacted 0:17:36.320 --> 0:17:38.720 by that, and so that means that you have to 0:17:38.760 --> 0:17:40.880 guide them. Like you said, like you said, your older 0:17:40.960 --> 0:17:44.120 daughter knew, knew you want the doctor on the house, 0:17:44.160 --> 0:17:46.560 you're the kid. They just they're just looking at Dannel, DV, 0:17:46.760 --> 0:17:50.040 Dandy l TV. You know. So so it really when 0:17:50.080 --> 0:17:52.920 you start breaking down your life, you have to understand 0:17:52.960 --> 0:17:54.760 that the values of the way you're a truck driver, 0:17:55.400 --> 0:17:59.400 work for ups or your cook, all of it comes 0:17:59.480 --> 0:18:01.440 back to being and a father who has time for 0:18:01.520 --> 0:18:05.080 their child, right then father who makes time. And I 0:18:05.160 --> 0:18:08.160 think one of the you know, I know, for me, uh, 0:18:08.560 --> 0:18:12.240 the biggest, one of the biggest things my mother instilled 0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:14.320 in me from a young age was a sense of 0:18:14.400 --> 0:18:17.800 self worth. And I think that you know, as parents. 0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:20.000 That's one of the biggest things we can instill in 0:18:20.040 --> 0:18:23.840 our children is that they are worthy um. Because when 0:18:23.920 --> 0:18:27.399 when a child grows up with that sense um, a 0:18:27.520 --> 0:18:32.000 lot of the peer pressures and the environmental things, they're 0:18:32.119 --> 0:18:35.760 less likely to partake in those things because they they 0:18:35.920 --> 0:18:40.439 feel worth, They feel worthy, the steel, love that they 0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:46.159 belong to a a familiar tribe that you know, that 0:18:46.440 --> 0:18:48.720 they have a work in UM. A lot of these 0:18:48.800 --> 0:18:51.080 kids that go wayward, and it's a lot of different reasons, 0:18:51.160 --> 0:18:52.720 you know, but I'm just trying to go to the 0:18:52.920 --> 0:18:56.400 root of it. A lot of these kids don't feel valued, 0:18:57.640 --> 0:19:00.720 feel worthy. They feel like, well, you know, it don't 0:19:00.720 --> 0:19:02.800 matter if I ain't here tomorrow because don't nobody care, 0:19:03.400 --> 0:19:06.680 you know, and and and so you know again going 0:19:06.720 --> 0:19:09.720 back to that active piece, you know, that's it's that's 0:19:09.960 --> 0:19:12.800 the most important thing. It's deep, man, It's really deep. 0:19:13.080 --> 0:19:14.840 I want to do one more quote from your book 0:19:14.880 --> 0:19:17.919 far before we end this conversation about your book, From 0:19:18.000 --> 0:19:21.800 Fatherless to Fatherhood, written by All My help, the comic 0:19:21.880 --> 0:19:26.400 comedic genius Chris Rock made a profound statement about fatherhood. 0:19:26.480 --> 0:19:29.520 Doing one of his performances. He said, whenever our father 0:19:29.640 --> 0:19:32.399 boast about taking care of his kids. People response should be, 0:19:32.800 --> 0:19:37.479 you're supposed to take care of your kids, right right. 0:19:37.920 --> 0:19:40.480 I'll tell you. I'll tell you, Omar. I've been reading 0:19:40.520 --> 0:19:43.639 this book for I'm telling you, man, you're messing with me. Man, 0:19:43.680 --> 0:19:47.480 you're messing with me, Omar. But if you look at that, 0:19:47.720 --> 0:19:50.520 you know it's it's just the truth. But we have 0:19:50.760 --> 0:19:54.879 gone to so many generations of having father this households 0:19:54.920 --> 0:19:57.879 that it is normalized. So now that you have, you know, 0:19:58.040 --> 0:20:03.159 people who are stepping up to their their their fatherly duties, 0:20:03.200 --> 0:20:04.920 you know, they want that extra pat on the back. 0:20:05.200 --> 0:20:06.680 And then me and let me just say this too. 0:20:06.800 --> 0:20:10.040 You know, within the African American community, we have made 0:20:10.800 --> 0:20:14.119 incredible strides to the issues of family and things of 0:20:14.160 --> 0:20:16.320 that nature. But and a lot of times, you know, 0:20:16.440 --> 0:20:18.680 you hear people want to throw up certain statistics and 0:20:18.720 --> 0:20:21.240 it's to any other. Statistics are relative to whoever you're 0:20:21.320 --> 0:20:24.760 poland one. But two, you know I'm in them treats 0:20:25.160 --> 0:20:28.840 and and that that cycle of fatherlessness is still an 0:20:28.880 --> 0:20:31.360 epidemic in our community. So we just gotta be real 0:20:31.400 --> 0:20:34.120