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Speaker 1: Heeart talent such as Chelsea Handler, Danny Shapiro, Charlemagne the God,

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Speaker 1: and Bobby Bones on Audible. Start listening now with a

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Speaker 1: thirty day Audible trial and your first audiobook plus two

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Speaker 1: Audible originals are free. Visit audible dot com, slash I

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Speaker 1: heart or text I Heeart to five hundred, five hundred.

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Speaker 1: My next guest, Are you Ready? Is an actor, rapper, songwriter,

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Speaker 1: and record producer. His film roles include Juice That's what

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Speaker 1: my man Tupac Shakool way back in the day, I

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Speaker 1: was just living in New York where that saw this movie.

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Speaker 1: How You're learning? You know? That's what Tire Banks, she

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Speaker 1: was the wood into Deep. What's more? Boy L L

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Speaker 1: COO j As when he was an undercover cop. I'm

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Speaker 1: talking about his character and loving basketball. So now Layton,

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Speaker 1: everybody goes, can he really pay basketball? Cade? Bayround? That

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Speaker 1: was a really groundbricking movie because it was it was

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Speaker 1: young love. It was really young love had really been

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Speaker 1: featured like that in the in the movies, and they

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Speaker 1: that was a groundbreaker. His television work includes the roll

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Speaker 1: of Dr Dennis Gant on the medical drama series e Er.

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Speaker 1: I remember when they cast his brother on e Er

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Speaker 1: and then he died. But the way he died, they

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Speaker 1: called his phone the beeper and the beeple went off

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Speaker 1: and it was operating on that. Man. That all that

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Speaker 1: messed me up. Man, that messed me up. He's run

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Speaker 1: over by train far and Dr Martin Bellamy in Resurrection.

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Speaker 1: He's played a lot of doctors. He's just he don't

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Speaker 1: have a medical degree nowhere, but he played doctors on

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Speaker 1: TV and The House from two thousand and four to

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Speaker 1: two thousand twelve. He is currently shooting the third season

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Speaker 1: of The Shooter on USA Network. He was on the

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Speaker 1: Show Now to discuss his career and his new book,

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Speaker 1: From Fatherless to Fatherhood, which is now available now on

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Speaker 1: Baunch and Noble dot com, Amazon dot com, Lulu dot com.

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Speaker 1: Please welcome to Money Making Conversation Omar Epps, and let's

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Speaker 1: say about you and let's say not you. I appreciate it, man,

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Speaker 1: I appreciate it. Well, I'm gonna just tell you something.

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Speaker 1: Let's get to this book. Man, I want to read

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Speaker 1: a quote from this book. I read the book, and uh,

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Speaker 1: I always I always find a certain value system when

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Speaker 1: I read about people, right stories, especially stories. Your book

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Speaker 1: is as a personal journey about growing up with our father.

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Speaker 1: And unfortunately that's very Um that's not nothing unusual, especially

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Speaker 1: in the African American community. And why was it important

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Speaker 1: to tell your story to us? Well, for that exact reason.

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Speaker 1: What you just said is that we've we've normalized that, um,

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Speaker 1: you know, the fatherless household in our community, and we

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Speaker 1: have to we have to evolve, We have to. I

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Speaker 1: want to write them a book about my story, share

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Speaker 1: my story that hopefully it could be used as a

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Speaker 1: tool of inspiration, so that we changed the narrative on

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Speaker 1: that so that these young brothers coming up, you know,

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Speaker 1: look at that like it's not cool. You know, like

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Speaker 1: me and the Bober Shop, we all friends, and one

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Speaker 1: of us know, you know, not handling any responsibilities as

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Speaker 1: a father. Then you lane, now you know, and you

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Speaker 1: get back on track. Though you always have the power

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Speaker 1: with choice at your disposal to to get back on track.

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Speaker 1: So that's really where it came from, man, just trying

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Speaker 1: to help shift that narrative. And it's important because the

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Speaker 1: song that you mentioned, by the incredible Tupox Brender's Got

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Speaker 1: a Baby. I remember that book movie. That song came

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Speaker 1: out back in ninety two two time frame. It was

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Speaker 1: such a powerful song, uh, and it still resonates today.

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Speaker 1: And you mentioned that, and I want to allow you

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Speaker 1: to speak on what you felt that was his goal

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Speaker 1: was when he uh produced the song and put it

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Speaker 1: out and then you thought that nobody listened because you

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Speaker 1: brought that up in your book, and because the book

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Speaker 1: the song was an incredible song to Brenda's Got a

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Speaker 1: Baby by two Poor Corps. It's a it's a song

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Speaker 1: about a young lady who of course gets pregnant to

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Speaker 1: early and uh, what happens all too often, not only

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Speaker 1: just in the African Americans, just some communities in general.

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Speaker 1: But in this case, we're talking about the African American community.

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Speaker 1: And you mentioned that in the book. So explain to

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Speaker 1: us why did you mentioned it in the book. Well,

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Speaker 1: because you know, for that particular song, I was I

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Speaker 1: was bad from this inception. Um. We were on the

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Speaker 1: set of Juice one day and one morning in two

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Speaker 1: pocket read that you know, the daily paper, and it

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Speaker 1: was I'm from New York. So we were in New

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Speaker 1: York and filming and a woman had thrown a baby

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Speaker 1: in the trash and he was just so so affected

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Speaker 1: by that. And at the time, I'm like, man, read

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Speaker 1: about stuff like that all the time out here, and

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Speaker 1: he was just so affected by that. And by lunchtime

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Speaker 1: he said, oh, coming to trailer. So I went in

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Speaker 1: Austraila and he starts, you know, wrapping these verses to me,

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Speaker 1: and I'm listening. I'm like, land, that's you know, that's deep,

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Speaker 1: but I'm not knowing what it is. And then two

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Speaker 1: months later, you know, his I heard Brenda's Got a

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Speaker 1: Baby for the first sense. So soon as I heard

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Speaker 1: the song, I said, oh, that's the that's the joint.

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Speaker 1: So I went back to that exact moment, and I

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Speaker 1: just thought it was so profound to see that his

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Speaker 1: his uh, his his artistic process in that way musically,

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Speaker 1: like wow, he really took a real life event and

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Speaker 1: shifted it into a greater story. And he was really

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Speaker 1: trying to spark spark mind, you know. And so that's

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Speaker 1: why that that that's why I mentioned that in the book,

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Speaker 1: because I was a profound moment for me well, to

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Speaker 1: say the least. Now, on the phone with Omar Epps

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Speaker 1: his book From Fatherless to Fatherhood. There in the back

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Speaker 1: of the book, it was a verse that I want

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Speaker 1: to say that I felt was really important to say

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Speaker 1: doing this interview, and he reached like this, this is

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Speaker 1: from your book, Omar, to all those fathers who've fallen off.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to You don't have the luxury of

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Speaker 1: catching amnesia just because your relationship with the mother of

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Speaker 1: your child didn't work. That woman is the mother of

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Speaker 1: your child, period. Why would you even try to turn

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Speaker 1: her kid against her. Plus, when it's all said and done,

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Speaker 1: neither of you wins, only your child will lose. Wow.

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Speaker 1: You know, yeah, I mean that's real man. You know

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Speaker 1: I try to I try to, uh speak on different scenarios, right, Like,

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Speaker 1: you know, a lot of things happen. Sometimes things don't

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Speaker 1: happen in a traditional way. Uh. You know, you can

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Speaker 1: have a child out of wedline, you could be married

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Speaker 1: in relationships dissolves, you might just be boyfriend girl, whatever

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Speaker 1: the scenario is. At the end of the day, you know,

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Speaker 1: once you once to people make a commitment to have

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Speaker 1: a child, um and they have to put that child

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Speaker 1: they're making a lifelong commitment to each other regardless of

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Speaker 1: what happens, you know, in their love relationship, you know,

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Speaker 1: in terms of intimacy regards, if that dissolves, they still

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Speaker 1: have a lifelong commitment you know, to this child and

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Speaker 1: to each other. So you know, it's just trying to

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Speaker 1: drop jews for the young brothers to think about that

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Speaker 1: before they make certain moves and when they make those moves,

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Speaker 1: to keep that in mind, because I get it. It's hard,

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Speaker 1: you know, and I even try to speak to UM

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Speaker 1: women in the book and in some the same ways.

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Speaker 1: You know, there's a lot of emotional things can happen.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of um scorn and resentment. But still

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Speaker 1: that's the father of your child, you know. Now that's

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Speaker 1: that's important because you have that relationship. You know you

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Speaker 1: have you know, you're you're married currently to Keisha Um

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Speaker 1: and then you have to jet the child before that relationship.

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Speaker 1: And so that's kind of like what you're saying right

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Speaker 1: there is that you know, you didn't turn your back

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Speaker 1: on your child other relationship because you didn't want your

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Speaker 1: child to lose. Because that's why that's why I liked

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Speaker 1: the book. That's why I like, That's why I'm happy

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Speaker 1: you're on the show, because I love people who lead

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Speaker 1: by example, who say, look, look i'm gonna tell you something.

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Speaker 1: I'm not just speaking it, I'm living it. I I

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Speaker 1: went through the consequences, I went through the trials and

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Speaker 1: trip relations of realizing that the person who had my

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Speaker 1: first child was not the person I was gonna be

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Speaker 1: with for the rest of my life. But that didn't

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Speaker 1: mean I didn't have to walk away from the responsibilities

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Speaker 1: of my child, right right, And that's all it comes

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Speaker 1: down to, man, It's it's really the power of choice

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Speaker 1: and and um, you know, and working through it and

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Speaker 1: figuring it out. You know, nobody has the blueprint, and

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Speaker 1: when it comes to parenthood, everyone's blueprint is is it's

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Speaker 1: kind of different. Um, so you just said. But the

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Speaker 1: thing is, when you make that commitment, you find your way.

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Speaker 1: You find your way, you find what works for you.

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Speaker 1: You know, you can take tidbits from other people. Hopefully

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Speaker 1: people have a solid support system, you know, because at

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Speaker 1: the end of the day, it really does take a village. Um.

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Speaker 1: But I'm really trying to speak I'm speaking to everyone,

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Speaker 1: but I'm honing in specifically on men um in our

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Speaker 1: community have to feel you have to, you know, we

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Speaker 1: have to exactly exactly because of men shape the way

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Speaker 1: a girl, a young lady should be treated, you know,

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Speaker 1: if she's if it's a bad environment and a young

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Speaker 1: lady can think that she's all right to get beat on, okay,

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Speaker 1: all right to be cheated on, all right to be

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Speaker 1: no door being open when they walk up to the car,

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Speaker 1: you know, just you know, they think that's the way

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Speaker 1: it's supposed to be. So man play that role more vitally.

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Speaker 1: But when we come back, we got to talk about

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Speaker 1: the the young lady. I say young because she's by

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Speaker 1: my age. Who who made you who you are today, Bonnie?

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Speaker 1: So let's like, let's just let's talk about the negative.

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Speaker 1: Let's talk about this the spirit inside of the person

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Speaker 1: who throughout all the complications did not leave you right

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Speaker 1: back with more all my ELPs. Hi this ra Sean McDonald.

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Speaker 1: You're listening to money making conversations. I'm gonna just tell

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Speaker 1: everybody doing this show, it's been very um opening for

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Speaker 1: me as a person, as a man, because you get

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Speaker 1: to meet people, get to talk to people, talk with

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Speaker 1: people who who are doing things outside of their career

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Speaker 1: and then making the decision, the conscious effort that what

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Speaker 1: they do in life has to be more than what

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Speaker 1: they're currently doing. And on the phone, that's a gentleman

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Speaker 1: who's doing that. He's a very talented actor. You've seen

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Speaker 1: his work. His body work is incredible. I joked about

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Speaker 1: some of the things I've experienced why watching him. I

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Speaker 1: remember when he when he was cast we're talking about

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Speaker 1: all my ELPs. When he was cast on e ER

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Speaker 1: it was a big deal. That was a big deal.

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Speaker 1: When he was cast on the R. That's when that's

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Speaker 1: when they had George Cluney on. That's when e R

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Speaker 1: was e R and uh and and you you was

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Speaker 1: this young doctor man. And I'm just letting you know that.

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Speaker 1: You know, I'm older than you. And the fact that

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Speaker 1: that character you played on that show had a positive

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Speaker 1: impact on me because you you you penetrated the hit show,

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Speaker 1: a number one show in NBC, and you was a

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Speaker 1: character I was like, man on my apps on e ER. Wow,

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Speaker 1: and and that do you understand that? I apologize I

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Speaker 1: shouldn't say do you understand? But do you the impact

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Speaker 1: that you make on people with some of your roles,

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Speaker 1: how do you deal with that? I mean, that's what

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Speaker 1: that's what I do it for. You know. You know

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Speaker 1: I come from uh an incredible um woman, you know,

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Speaker 1: my mother, and she's you know, she's still my superhero

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Speaker 1: to this day. But I say that because my mother

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Speaker 1: was an educator in her professional career, and so very

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Speaker 1: early on, I just saw how many people she she affected.

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Speaker 1: You know, how many people even when I when I

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Speaker 1: first came into the entertainment business. So I can't tell

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Speaker 1: you how many people, UM in New York would come

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Speaker 1: up to me and say, hey, man, you know your mom,

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Speaker 1: you know, tell us it's big head Brad, you know,

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Speaker 1: telling if it wasn't for her saying such and such,

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm doing this now, and I'm doing that now,

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Speaker 1: and and and how many people's lives she really affected?

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Speaker 1: And then the positive So for me, that's just in me.

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Speaker 1: And for me, my my weapon is artist shoot. So

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Speaker 1: I've always been conscious of trying to portray positive imagery

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Speaker 1: and and and um to to penetrate the subconscious because

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Speaker 1: you know, just seeing that image it's powerful. Like you know,

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Speaker 1: I even talk about this in the book. You know,

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Speaker 1: the first time I saw a happy, functional black family

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Speaker 1: was a guy to be shop. I was like kid.

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Speaker 1: And so when you're a young kid in that like

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Speaker 1: man he's a doctor that the wives they laugh, they

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Speaker 1: love each other. The kids seem to be I want

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Speaker 1: to I want to be like that right when I

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Speaker 1: have kids. And so yeah, I've always been aware of

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Speaker 1: um those possibilities, but it's it's it's humbling, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's very humbling. I had a young brother come up

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Speaker 1: to me not too long ago who said that, you know,

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Speaker 1: I helped him seeing me on the show house by

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Speaker 1: him to be a doctor. And then you know, the

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Speaker 1: brother was going to get a double PhD. I said, wow,

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Speaker 1: that that's incredible. Now, it always says when as you

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Speaker 1: grow up, it impacts you as an adult. You grew

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Speaker 1: up without a father and then you have a child,

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Speaker 1: and that starts to weigh on you. Are you following

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Speaker 1: in your father's footsteps? How did you get that balance?

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Speaker 1: And I talked about balance on this show a lot.

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Speaker 1: You know, because you're successful at the time, you're still successful.

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Speaker 1: I apologize, you know, you even in l A doing

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Speaker 1: your thing. Sometimes you know, these roles travel you out

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Speaker 1: of state. Sometimes they travel you out of the country,

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Speaker 1: and you can't be the parent that the day to

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Speaker 1: day parent that you want to be that you didn't

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Speaker 1: have r How did you? Why were you able to

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Speaker 1: reconcile that? Because I saw that beautiful picture all through

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Speaker 1: your children in the end, that's the best picture in

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Speaker 1: the book. Ohm, Okay, that's listen about I mean, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's it's no different uh than any any working parents

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Speaker 1: you know, or any working household with you know, both

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Speaker 1: parents are working, or you know specifically for for working

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Speaker 1: farther's It's hard, you know, but you try to find

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Speaker 1: that balance. It's kind of an Evan flow, um well

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Speaker 1: specifically for what I do. It's not a nine of

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Speaker 1: five things. The point it's like, you know, I might

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Speaker 1: be gone for three months out of the book, you know,

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Speaker 1: working on um you know, but you just find you

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Speaker 1: try to find that balance. And I speak a lot

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Speaker 1: on it in the book. UM. What's been really profound

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Speaker 1: to me when I've been out there talking about the

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Speaker 1: book is how many people, um have to share their

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Speaker 1: stories with me that grew up with their father, but

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Speaker 1: the father in the household wasn't really active, you know,

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Speaker 1: so they were there, but they weren't. And I touched

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Speaker 1: on that, um uh in the book. It's about being

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Speaker 1: active and it's about being present. So you just, you know,

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Speaker 1: if you're working in it's tough work, long hours, you

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Speaker 1: just gotta make the time. You know, you gotta make

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Speaker 1: the time. And everyone does it different ways. You know,

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Speaker 1: some people do you know, every Friday they go to

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Speaker 1: the movies, so you know, every Saturday they go out

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Speaker 1: to the park and or you know, you find some

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Speaker 1: sort of you want to create some sort of consistency

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Speaker 1: because at the end of the day, time is the

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Speaker 1: most invaluable thing on earth. And that's all children ever

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Speaker 1: really remember, is the time you spent well, you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm like your regular dude. Man, You're a regular dude.

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Speaker 1: And I say that complimentary too, in a complimentary tone too,

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Speaker 1: because your mom did you right, man, she she she

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Speaker 1: gave you values that make you successful, don't make you

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Speaker 1: above the success. You know what I'm talking about. You

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Speaker 1: know those people. And because I can hear the sincerity

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Speaker 1: in your voice, it was a quote that you know,

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Speaker 1: this book is full of quote. I'm on the phone

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Speaker 1: with all my apps in this book, from Fatherless to Fatherhood.

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Speaker 1: You can get that Bones and Noble, Amazon dot com.

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Speaker 1: You know, and you should get this book, and uh,

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Speaker 1: it's a it's a because the problem I always have

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Speaker 1: with with books because you know, women buy books. Women

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Speaker 1: will buy book. Men on the other hand, who need

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Speaker 1: to be reading this book, I don't think I need

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Speaker 1: to read that, and I would just change that because

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Speaker 1: it's something you should read because of the fact that

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Speaker 1: it's a good it's good read for me, and I

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Speaker 1: feel I'm a good father. But you know, I'm like you.

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Speaker 1: I'm in the business, so I know what you're talking about.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes I was living in New York. Sometimes I've raised

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Speaker 1: my daughter over the phone. I got some I got

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Speaker 1: some baby talk on my you leave voice messages that

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna give it to her one day and they're

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Speaker 1: gonna probably make her cry when she was just talking

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Speaker 1: and leave messages on my she's never just know. I

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Speaker 1: got my thirty of those when she ye daddy, my daddy,

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Speaker 1: you know, all through it's like one through five, one

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Speaker 1: through five of her just leaving messages on my phone.

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Speaker 1: I was able to capture them and put them on CD.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna give them to him one day because I

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Speaker 1: know what you're saying is that you know it's important

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Speaker 1: to try to be your father. More important, it's important

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Speaker 1: to try to be a father who's responsible to the

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Speaker 1: to the activity of giving your child the advice, the

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Speaker 1: guidance because there's so many things special with social media,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm talking about, Alma. You know, you

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Speaker 1: you're you're, you're, you're, you're a superstar, dude. You you know,

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Speaker 1: you're celebrit recognizable talent on television all the time, your

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Speaker 1: movies all the time, and so your children are impacted

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Speaker 1: by that, and so that means that you have to

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Speaker 1: guide them. Like you said, like you said, your older

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Speaker 1: daughter knew, knew you want the doctor on the house,

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Speaker 1: you're the kid. They just they're just looking at Dannel, DV,

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Speaker 1: Dandy l TV. You know. So so it really when

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Speaker 1: you start breaking down your life, you have to understand

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Speaker 1: that the values of the way you're a truck driver,

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Speaker 1: work for ups or your cook, all of it comes

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Speaker 1: back to being and a father who has time for

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Speaker 1: their child, right then father who makes time. And I

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Speaker 1: think one of the you know, I know, for me, uh,

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Speaker 1: the biggest, one of the biggest things my mother instilled

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Speaker 1: in me from a young age was a sense of

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Speaker 1: self worth. And I think that you know, as parents.

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Speaker 1: That's one of the biggest things we can instill in

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Speaker 1: our children is that they are worthy um. Because when

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Speaker 1: when a child grows up with that sense um, a

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Speaker 1: lot of the peer pressures and the environmental things, they're

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Speaker 1: less likely to partake in those things because they they

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Speaker 1: feel worth, They feel worthy, the steel, love that they

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Speaker 1: belong to a a familiar tribe that you know, that

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Speaker 1: they have a work in UM. A lot of these

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Speaker 1: kids that go wayward, and it's a lot of different reasons,

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Speaker 1: you know, but I'm just trying to go to the

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Speaker 1: root of it. A lot of these kids don't feel valued,

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Speaker 1: feel worthy. They feel like, well, you know, it don't

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Speaker 1: matter if I ain't here tomorrow because don't nobody care,

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Speaker 1: you know, and and and so you know again going

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Speaker 1: back to that active piece, you know, that's it's that's

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Speaker 1: the most important thing. It's deep, man, It's really deep.

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Speaker 1: I want to do one more quote from your book

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Speaker 1: far before we end this conversation about your book, From

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Speaker 1: Fatherless to Fatherhood, written by All My help, the comic

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Speaker 1: comedic genius Chris Rock made a profound statement about fatherhood.

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Speaker 1: Doing one of his performances. He said, whenever our father

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Speaker 1: boast about taking care of his kids. People response should be,

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Speaker 1: you're supposed to take care of your kids, right right.

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you. I'll tell you, Omar. I've been reading

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Speaker 1: this book for I'm telling you, man, you're messing with me. Man,

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Speaker 1: you're messing with me, Omar. But if you look at that,

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00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,520
Speaker 1: you know it's it's just the truth. But we have

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00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:54,879
Speaker 1: gone to so many generations of having father this households

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Speaker 1: that it is normalized. So now that you have, you know,

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00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:03,159
Speaker 1: people who are stepping up to their their their fatherly duties,

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00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,920
Speaker 1: you know, they want that extra pat on the back.

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Speaker 1: And then me and let me just say this too.

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Speaker 1: You know, within the African American community, we have made

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Speaker 1: incredible strides to the issues of family and things of

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Speaker 1: that nature. But and a lot of times, you know,

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Speaker 1: you hear people want to throw up certain statistics and

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00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:21,240
Speaker 1: it's to any other. Statistics are relative to whoever you're

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00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:24,760
Speaker 1: poland one. But two, you know I'm in them treats

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00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:28,840
Speaker 1: and and that that cycle of fatherlessness is still an

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00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:31,360
Speaker 1: epidemic in our community. So we just gotta be real

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00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:34,120
Speaker 1: about what's real and um so that you know, even

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00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,720
Speaker 1: though I say that in the book, you know, using

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00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:39,320
Speaker 1: that that that Chris Rock joke, which I thought was

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00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:43,400
Speaker 1: just great. You know, I understand at the same time

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00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:47,600
Speaker 1: why you know a man would want that credit so

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00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:52,920
Speaker 1: many generations and so it's like, yeah, they're trying to

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00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,320
Speaker 1: in they bring in. So I solute those brothers as well,

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00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:57,280
Speaker 1: because you're breaking the cycle. At the end of the day,

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00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:01,240
Speaker 1: it's about breaking the cycle. A ship out. He's a writer,

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00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:06,600
Speaker 1: he's a producer, he's been married to his wife by decade,

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Speaker 1: and he's dedicated father to his three children. Thank you

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00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:13,720
Speaker 1: for calling money making conversations. Thank you, brother, it was

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00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:17,040
Speaker 1: a great such something. Keep winning. Listening makes us smarter,

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00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:20,679
Speaker 1: more connected people. It makes us better partners, parents, and leaders.

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00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,560
Speaker 1: And there's no better place to start listening than audible.

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00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:27,000
Speaker 1: Audible is where so many inspiring voices and compelling stories

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Speaker 1: open listeners up to new experiences in ways of thinking.

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Speaker 1: Audible members now get more than ever before. Members choose

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