WEBVTT - Living a Quieter Life 0:00:03.360 --> 0:00:06.160 Hello, my beautiful people. I am so happy that you're 0:00:06.160 --> 0:00:09.320 here today for another episode of your favorite podcast, Cheeky's 0:00:09.360 --> 0:00:12.360 and Chill. Before we get started, I do want to 0:00:12.360 --> 0:00:15.120 tell you guys that I'm recording this episode from my 0:00:15.240 --> 0:00:19.360 kitchen table here at my home Mikasa Questlucasa, and I 0:00:19.400 --> 0:00:23.279 am getting as you can hear some work done on 0:00:23.360 --> 0:00:25.760 my roof, so if you hear some banging, please forgive 0:00:25.800 --> 0:00:29.520 me and try your best to just ignore it, which 0:00:29.560 --> 0:00:31.720 is going to take deep breaths. But I think it's 0:00:31.760 --> 0:00:34.000 a very important episode and something I really want to 0:00:34.040 --> 0:00:36.159 talk about. So I know you all are busy and 0:00:36.240 --> 0:00:38.400 have a lot to do, but I really do appreciate 0:00:38.440 --> 0:00:40.479 you taking the time out of your date to listen, 0:00:40.800 --> 0:00:43.360 especially to this episode, because I want you guys to 0:00:43.440 --> 0:00:45.240 understand where I'm at and I know you guys have 0:00:45.320 --> 0:00:49.400 probably noticed that I am a lot quieter on social 0:00:49.479 --> 0:00:54.000 media and I want to tell you guys why. Okay, 0:00:54.000 --> 0:00:55.680 So before I get started, I do want to tell 0:00:55.680 --> 0:00:57.720 you guys, this episode is going to be a little 0:00:57.760 --> 0:01:01.600 different than other episodes. I felt very inspired while I 0:01:01.680 --> 0:01:03.960 was thinking about this episode this morning, so I wrote 0:01:04.000 --> 0:01:06.720 down my thoughts and ideas in real time, and I'm 0:01:06.760 --> 0:01:09.240 going to be reading some of those passages to you 0:01:09.280 --> 0:01:13.600 guys throughout the episode. Okay, so, living a quiet life 0:01:13.760 --> 0:01:17.320 doesn't mean you're hiding, it doesn't mean you're shrinking. It 0:01:17.400 --> 0:01:22.640 means you've chosen peace over noise, purpose over performance, and 0:01:22.720 --> 0:01:26.399 depth over display. A quiet life is about putting God 0:01:26.440 --> 0:01:29.000 in the center of my life, not trying to make 0:01:29.200 --> 0:01:32.880 time for God and fit him in. It's making time 0:01:32.920 --> 0:01:36.480 for everything else and revolve it around God. Does that 0:01:36.520 --> 0:01:39.479 make sense? I hope it makes sense. But that's kind 0:01:39.480 --> 0:01:40.800 of where I'm at and I'm gonna get I'm going 0:01:40.880 --> 0:01:43.440 to continue reading because I wrote a lot and I'll 0:01:43.560 --> 0:01:46.200 get into the nitty gritty of it. But this is 0:01:46.240 --> 0:01:49.000 directly from my notes you guys from this morning, because 0:01:49.040 --> 0:01:52.240 I was like, how do I explain this? So AnyWho, 0:01:52.680 --> 0:01:58.000 moving on, let's continue talking less, praying more. Gossip is 0:01:58.040 --> 0:02:01.240 an energy sucker, although I will admit I love it. 0:02:01.320 --> 0:02:04.880 Who doesn't, But now I try my best not to engage. 0:02:04.920 --> 0:02:08.280 I'm working on telling people, hey, that doesn't sit well 0:02:08.280 --> 0:02:10.560 with me. I'd rather not talk about so and so 0:02:10.800 --> 0:02:13.880 unless they're present. It's a work in progress, though, I 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:16.640 will admit, because who doesn't like to gossip, especially when 0:02:16.639 --> 0:02:18.440 you're with your friends. You're hanging out, You're like, Okay, 0:02:18.520 --> 0:02:20.840 let's talk about stuff. But it just I've noticed that 0:02:20.919 --> 0:02:23.359 it doesn't make me feel comfortable. It just I don't 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:25.120 know if it's all of this that I'm going to 0:02:25.160 --> 0:02:28.040 tell you, guys, has to do with what I'm living 0:02:28.120 --> 0:02:29.960 and where I want to go, but also with age 0:02:29.960 --> 0:02:32.840 and maturity. It could be a combination of everything I 0:02:32.960 --> 0:02:35.560 just mentioned, but the gossip part of it, It's like, 0:02:35.639 --> 0:02:39.320 I don't want to have senseless conversations anymore, like I 0:02:39.360 --> 0:02:41.600 want to have substance conversations. I want to hang out 0:02:41.600 --> 0:02:43.120 with people that are going to bring out the best 0:02:43.120 --> 0:02:45.840 in me, that have ideas that want more out of life, 0:02:45.880 --> 0:02:49.160 Like my body, my soul, my mind is craving that 0:02:49.240 --> 0:02:52.760 so much, so I am working on trying my best 0:02:52.800 --> 0:02:54.440 to tell people, hey, like, let's not talk about that, 0:02:54.560 --> 0:02:57.680 Let's talk about something else. AnyWho, Let's go back into 0:02:57.760 --> 0:03:03.320 my notes, so redefining SSS again, these are just my thoughts, guys, Okay, 0:03:03.440 --> 0:03:06.880 and this is really coming from my soul. In the 0:03:06.960 --> 0:03:10.079 industry I come from, success is often measured by how 0:03:10.120 --> 0:03:12.840 loud your name is, how many followers, you have, how 0:03:12.840 --> 0:03:15.960 many events you're at, how many deals you're closing. But 0:03:16.080 --> 0:03:19.160 now I define success by how calm I feel when 0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:22.519 I wake up, by how aligned I am with God, 0:03:23.400 --> 0:03:26.560 by how present I can be with the people I love. 0:03:27.200 --> 0:03:30.320 That success to me Now, God has always been in 0:03:30.320 --> 0:03:32.280 my life, in a huge part of my life, in 0:03:32.360 --> 0:03:36.360 different ways. I was very religious before, you know, now 0:03:37.160 --> 0:03:41.160 I'm very spiritual. But God has always been in my life. 0:03:41.400 --> 0:03:45.480 Now it's just I'm making really making God a priority 0:03:45.560 --> 0:03:48.680 because I love how it makes me feel. And We've 0:03:48.720 --> 0:03:51.360 talked about it a lot. There goes a banking, but 0:03:51.440 --> 0:03:53.120 we've talked about it a lot on a lot of 0:03:53.160 --> 0:03:57.520 episodes of Cheeky's and Chill a lot. But I have 0:03:57.720 --> 0:04:01.760 really noticed the difference from when I go straight into 0:04:01.840 --> 0:04:04.320 Instagram or at my emails or I answer someone's text 0:04:04.720 --> 0:04:10.120 before I center myself. So now I'm like, really, really, 0:04:10.160 --> 0:04:13.320 really trying more than ever and not even trying. It's 0:04:13.320 --> 0:04:17.960 something that I'm really craving. So anyway, a quiet life 0:04:18.000 --> 0:04:21.320 is about living in truth, not for attention. It's about 0:04:21.320 --> 0:04:25.960 being real even if it's not trending. I used to 0:04:26.040 --> 0:04:31.200 feel I had to be on all the time camera ready, performance, ready, 0:04:31.560 --> 0:04:36.040 emotion tucked away. Now I live for presents, for connection, 0:04:36.680 --> 0:04:38.440 you guys. I am so sorry about this banging, but 0:04:38.720 --> 0:04:41.880 it's real. You guys know Cheeky's and Chill is very 0:04:41.880 --> 0:04:44.600 transparent in every way, and I sure am recording this 0:04:44.640 --> 0:04:47.400 episode from my kitchen table. But I do hope that 0:04:47.480 --> 0:04:49.880 all this is like making sense to you guys and resonating. 0:04:50.320 --> 0:04:53.440 For example, I've deleted certain apps off my phone. I 0:04:53.480 --> 0:04:56.720 don't share every moment anymore. I protect my piece. I 0:04:56.760 --> 0:04:59.239 show up online when I feel like I have something 0:04:59.279 --> 0:05:02.839 meaningful to sh not to prove that I'm still relevant. 0:05:03.200 --> 0:05:06.400 And that is the biggest difference. Before I felt like 0:05:06.480 --> 0:05:09.120 I had to be on social media and show what 0:05:09.160 --> 0:05:11.880 I was doing because that's what everyone's doing and because 0:05:11.880 --> 0:05:15.159 that's what's going to keep me relevant. And now I'm like, no, 0:05:15.400 --> 0:05:18.479 I really want my social media to reflect where I am, 0:05:18.680 --> 0:05:21.400 even if I disappear for a few days. If I 0:05:21.600 --> 0:05:24.760 don't feel like being on social media, I'm not going 0:05:24.839 --> 0:05:27.159 to do it, not because my record label is saying 0:05:27.200 --> 0:05:30.560 I have to, not because my brain is telling me that, 0:05:30.960 --> 0:05:32.599 or because someone else is doing it and I want 0:05:32.600 --> 0:05:34.560 to do it too. Now it's like I need it 0:05:34.600 --> 0:05:37.839 to be authentic in every single way, and I need 0:05:37.839 --> 0:05:43.279 it to be meaningful. I've unfollowed a lot of people. I've, 0:05:43.360 --> 0:05:45.559 like I said, erase a lot of apps. I want 0:05:45.800 --> 0:05:49.240 things on my feed. I want to follow people that 0:05:50.680 --> 0:05:54.039 pour into my daily cup and not rob me of 0:05:54.120 --> 0:05:57.400 my piece. And social media does that a lot, whether 0:05:57.520 --> 0:06:01.920 you realize it or not. And we've again talked about 0:06:01.960 --> 0:06:04.000 a lot of these things, but I just wanted to 0:06:04.040 --> 0:06:06.520 get into the nitty gritty of it. But AnyWho, Okay, 0:06:06.880 --> 0:06:09.800 healing in private this is a very important one. A 0:06:09.880 --> 0:06:13.400 quiet life also means healing in privacy. I don't always 0:06:13.440 --> 0:06:16.160 announce what I'm going through or what I'm working on, 0:06:16.560 --> 0:06:19.040 not because I'm hiding it, but because I'm honoring it. 0:06:20.160 --> 0:06:22.640 I've been on the longest music break of my career, 0:06:22.960 --> 0:06:25.680 and for the first time, I'm not rushing back because 0:06:25.720 --> 0:06:29.680 I should. I'm letting my sole lead, not the industry. 0:06:30.120 --> 0:06:32.760 That's very very new for me, you guys, and I've 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:36.599 decided that I don't have to do it on social 0:06:36.640 --> 0:06:39.400 media because I'm very open with you guys on the 0:06:39.400 --> 0:06:41.640 podcast on everything that I do. Like when I'm going 0:06:41.640 --> 0:06:43.160 through something, I'm not having a good day. I tell 0:06:43.200 --> 0:06:44.640 you guys, hey, I'm not feeling too good. Do you 0:06:44.680 --> 0:06:46.599 guys feel the same? Are you guys feeling the energy? 0:06:46.960 --> 0:06:49.360 And I love that we can share this and I'm 0:06:49.400 --> 0:06:53.559 not alone in my feelings. But it's been a while 0:06:53.680 --> 0:06:57.280 where I'm like showing every single step everything that I'm doing. 0:06:57.360 --> 0:07:00.000 I used to do that so much. I didn't realize 0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:03.839 how I wasn't as present as I should have been. 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:06.600 Like I have a lot of things recorded, but if 0:07:06.640 --> 0:07:09.479 I sit there and really think, do I remember the 0:07:09.480 --> 0:07:14.240 conversations I had? Do I remember the performance or the 0:07:14.280 --> 0:07:17.080 baseball game and like the little details? And no, it's 0:07:17.120 --> 0:07:19.680 because I was so busy worrying about what I was 0:07:19.720 --> 0:07:23.520 going to post. And now I am doing a lot 0:07:23.520 --> 0:07:27.000 of healing in private, and it helps that my relationship 0:07:27.040 --> 0:07:30.200 is also more private and media is more of a 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:32.760 private type of person. So it's helped me balance that out. 0:07:33.360 --> 0:07:35.080 But now I want to do it in my own way. 0:07:35.400 --> 0:07:37.120 Now I do want to tell you guys about things 0:07:37.120 --> 0:07:39.960 that I'm doing because I want to give you a visual. 0:07:40.040 --> 0:07:43.400 So there is a second season of Cheeky Seinfithro coming 0:07:43.560 --> 0:07:47.040 and I will talk about some deep things there. And 0:07:47.080 --> 0:07:50.160 that's the way I want to do it, because that's 0:07:50.200 --> 0:07:53.920 part of my brand. I'm honest and open and it's 0:07:53.960 --> 0:07:55.440 just who I am, you know, because I want to 0:07:55.440 --> 0:07:59.520 help everyone. But on social media, I just it doesn't 0:07:59.600 --> 0:08:09.240 feel that same anymore. Returning to what matters, okay, I 0:08:09.320 --> 0:08:13.520 have sections for everything. Okay, So living a quiet life 0:08:14.280 --> 0:08:17.080 is like tuning out the static to hear your favorite 0:08:17.120 --> 0:08:22.680 song again. It's remembering what really matters, family, health, joy, purpose, 0:08:23.320 --> 0:08:26.720 and letting go of the chase that leaves you empty. 0:08:27.400 --> 0:08:29.600 I spend more time with the people who pour into me. 0:08:30.160 --> 0:08:32.440 I invest in my skin care line because it brings 0:08:32.480 --> 0:08:35.679 me joy. I take walks, I sing in the kitchen, 0:08:36.120 --> 0:08:39.080 I rest, I laugh, I cry. I do it all 0:08:39.120 --> 0:08:42.080 without needing to broadcast it. So that kind of goes 0:08:42.120 --> 0:08:44.920 back to what we were just talking about. But I 0:08:44.960 --> 0:08:48.160 wanted to talk about this feeling of the rat race 0:08:48.200 --> 0:08:51.600 of life. I have mentioned that quite a bit because 0:08:51.880 --> 0:08:54.120 I come in and come out of it. I love 0:08:54.800 --> 0:09:00.240 to feel accomplished. I love to complete projects and who 0:09:00.280 --> 0:09:02.680 doesn't like and love to make money, you know. So 0:09:02.760 --> 0:09:05.640 I love all of that. But it's changing now. And 0:09:05.679 --> 0:09:08.280 not only that, but I don't want to think about 0:09:08.320 --> 0:09:10.560 just what's going to make me money. I want to 0:09:10.679 --> 0:09:15.960 be connected on a soul level and really truly be 0:09:16.160 --> 0:09:21.440 excited about my skincare, my hair care, anything that I 0:09:21.520 --> 0:09:26.520 am doing. I've always been very good with only promoting 0:09:26.600 --> 0:09:29.280 things that resonate with me, that really work for me, 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:31.559 that I love. I will never sell you guys, something 0:09:31.640 --> 0:09:34.720 I don't love just because they're paying me. Never I cannot. 0:09:34.840 --> 0:09:37.640 It goes against everything I believe in. But I think 0:09:37.840 --> 0:09:41.720 I did or stuck around or tried to make it 0:09:41.800 --> 0:09:46.319 work with certain people in my life and certain partnerships, 0:09:46.640 --> 0:09:53.520 even certain friendships because a fear, maybe because it was 0:09:53.640 --> 0:09:57.559 making any money, because I wanted to see the best 0:09:57.559 --> 0:10:01.320 in the person and ignore that there were more red 0:10:01.360 --> 0:10:05.600 flags because it was making me money, and I had 0:10:05.640 --> 0:10:09.319 to kind of learn to just let those things go 0:10:09.559 --> 0:10:12.360 for my peace of mind, even if that means I'm 0:10:12.400 --> 0:10:15.960 going to make less money. It's just it was robbing 0:10:16.000 --> 0:10:20.080 me of my piece, and that even now, it's with 0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:22.960 the people that I choose to hang out with, do 0:10:23.080 --> 0:10:26.360 business with, hang out with. If I'm going to invest 0:10:26.520 --> 0:10:30.640 my time, my energy with someone, it has to be 0:10:30.720 --> 0:10:35.760 someone that doesn't rob my piece, first of all, because 0:10:35.760 --> 0:10:40.240 there are energy leeches, and you know, I call them suckers. 0:10:40.280 --> 0:10:44.880 But there are people, and we have to learn to 0:10:45.720 --> 0:10:48.320 listen to that, to listen to our body and see 0:10:48.320 --> 0:10:52.600 how we feel once we've left those people. And I've 0:10:52.640 --> 0:10:55.360 noticed that in my life, if I have to mentally 0:10:55.400 --> 0:10:57.600 prepare myself to hang out with you, then maybe I 0:10:57.640 --> 0:11:00.440 shouldn't be hanging out with you. I don't know if 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:02.000 it's age. I don't know if it's like I don't 0:11:02.040 --> 0:11:05.120 have time to waste. Like I love you, but I 0:11:05.120 --> 0:11:08.520 don't know if you're necessarily good for me in this 0:11:08.640 --> 0:11:11.040 new phase, in this new season of my life. As 0:11:11.080 --> 0:11:13.760 much as I love you, I shouldn't And I don't 0:11:13.800 --> 0:11:17.920 want to feel like I have to prepare in order 0:11:18.160 --> 0:11:20.400 to give you some of my time. I want things 0:11:20.400 --> 0:11:23.680 that are quality in every single way, in every area 0:11:23.720 --> 0:11:26.839 of my life, and I want it to be reciprocated. 0:11:27.080 --> 0:11:31.320 Like I want people that pour into my cup, I 0:11:31.400 --> 0:11:36.080 pour intoward their cup. We both are willing and able, 0:11:36.800 --> 0:11:40.880 and that's it. That's what I'm craving, you know, So anyway, 0:11:41.040 --> 0:11:44.880 just to close out my notes, the quiet life isn't 0:11:44.880 --> 0:11:49.520 about disappearing. It's about reappearing in your full truth at 0:11:49.559 --> 0:11:53.400 your own pace, in alignment with your soul, and to me, 0:11:53.760 --> 0:11:57.640 that's the loudest kind of freedom there is. So that 0:11:57.760 --> 0:12:01.000 is where I'm at, you guys. And right now I 0:12:01.040 --> 0:12:07.240 am going inward a lot. I am deciding to instead 0:12:07.280 --> 0:12:10.160 of answering emails on a Saturday, I'm gonna go on 0:12:10.200 --> 0:12:13.000 a hike with my husband. All that shit can wait 0:12:13.600 --> 0:12:17.600 because I've always been very hard on myself about responding 0:12:17.600 --> 0:12:20.280 on time and not leaving anyone on red and being 0:12:20.360 --> 0:12:23.280 responsible because that's what I was taught and I'm very 0:12:23.280 --> 0:12:26.160 grateful for that because I'm a very disciplined person. But 0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:30.760 also those things, those people can wait, because I really 0:12:30.840 --> 0:12:34.960 do enjoy spending time with my husband and walking in 0:12:35.000 --> 0:12:41.439 the wilderness and sweating and doing something active, having an 0:12:41.480 --> 0:12:44.200 active rest day. And of course I love to stay 0:12:44.200 --> 0:12:45.760 in bed and hang out, like that's part of the 0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:49.520 quiet life. But now I'm starting to appreciate, like, okay, cool, 0:12:49.559 --> 0:12:51.520 what can we do that's gonna be good for our 0:12:51.880 --> 0:12:54.839 health and it's gonna make us feel good. But it's 0:12:54.840 --> 0:12:58.400 not gonna be strenuous. But I'm gonna feel good, you know, 0:12:58.480 --> 0:13:01.040 and I'm gonna sweat a little bit. So I'm really 0:13:01.160 --> 0:13:05.840 enjoying those moments and making time for those things. I 0:13:05.880 --> 0:13:08.560 want to go to church more, a Christian church, a 0:13:08.559 --> 0:13:12.040 Catholic church, my spiritual church that I have in Santa Monica. 0:13:12.200 --> 0:13:14.240 It doesn't matter. As long as I'm in the presence 0:13:14.280 --> 0:13:17.200 and there are you know, more people in that same 0:13:17.679 --> 0:13:21.360 feeling and frequency. I want that and it's kind of 0:13:21.360 --> 0:13:26.320 what I'm doing. I finally started working on music, you guys, barely. 0:13:27.120 --> 0:13:30.120 I thought it was going to take a little longer, 0:13:30.160 --> 0:13:33.040 but now I'm starting to feel more inspired and I'm 0:13:33.040 --> 0:13:36.920 writing a lot of poems. And I have made some 0:13:37.000 --> 0:13:39.920 really big decisions in my career, but I feel good 0:13:39.920 --> 0:13:45.200 about them, and I'm very I'm excited again about reappearing 0:13:45.320 --> 0:13:48.800 as Janae, you know, and showing people who Jane is. 0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:53.880 This whole thing is like coming back to Jane, you know. 0:13:54.559 --> 0:13:56.520 And as much as I love everything I was doing, 0:13:56.559 --> 0:14:01.679 and I wasn't faking the funk percent, like I'm really 0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:05.439 like figuring out, Okay, what does Janey want to do? 0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:11.439 What makes Jane happy? What kind of music, what kind 0:14:11.480 --> 0:14:16.040 of wardrobe? Even like this whole hair change, the color change, 0:14:16.080 --> 0:14:19.160 guys just did something for me, Like I feel like 0:14:19.240 --> 0:14:22.600 I'm in my Mermaid era. I know that sounds weird, 0:14:22.640 --> 0:14:25.320 but I don't know. Like I'm funky right now, Like 0:14:25.400 --> 0:14:27.920 all my clothes, everything I'm wearing is just funky, Like 0:14:27.960 --> 0:14:32.040 it's very Jane, and I'm remembering so many things that 0:14:32.080 --> 0:14:34.160 made me happy, Like earlier in what I was reading, 0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:37.040 I was talking about instead of just being on the 0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:39.360 phone the whole time I'm in the car, it's like 0:14:39.440 --> 0:14:41.960 I'll either be in silence or I'll listen. For a 0:14:42.040 --> 0:14:45.000 long time, I wasn't listening to music. I would just 0:14:45.040 --> 0:14:48.840 sit there in silence or answer calls or whatever. And 0:14:49.400 --> 0:14:51.480 now I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna put my phone down. 0:14:52.160 --> 0:14:55.240 I'm actually going to play a song that takes me 0:14:55.360 --> 0:14:58.600 back to a happy moment or even I don't know 0:14:58.640 --> 0:15:00.480 if you guys do this, but I've doing this a 0:15:00.520 --> 0:15:02.160 lot lately sometimes when I feel like I need a 0:15:02.240 --> 0:15:05.240 cry because this isn't hasn't been easy, and it's not like, 0:15:05.320 --> 0:15:07.840 oh my gosh, it's all you know, peaches and roses 0:15:07.880 --> 0:15:12.320 and unicorns. It's been tough. I have been going through 0:15:12.320 --> 0:15:16.600 some crazy, crazy growing pains, you guys. So I've been 0:15:16.600 --> 0:15:19.760 feeling lately that I just want to cry, so I'll 0:15:19.800 --> 0:15:22.360 even put on a song that makes me cry, that 0:15:22.560 --> 0:15:25.440 reminds me of twenty twelve, one of the hardest years 0:15:25.440 --> 0:15:28.760 of my life, twenty thirteen, and I'll play it and 0:15:28.840 --> 0:15:33.680 I'll cry, like in the car by myself, in the shower, 0:15:34.320 --> 0:15:36.360 in my restroom whereich is where I do my prayer 0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:39.160 and everything, like I just I need to let this out. 0:15:39.200 --> 0:15:42.360 I need a cry, and I've been doing that, and 0:15:42.400 --> 0:15:44.160 then I'll put on a song that makes me happy, 0:15:44.240 --> 0:15:47.000 and it's just it's been so insane, Like I wish 0:15:47.040 --> 0:15:49.600 there was a camera that could just watch everything that 0:15:49.640 --> 0:15:52.440 I'm doing and every conversation I'm having with myself, because yes, 0:15:52.520 --> 0:16:02.520 I do talk to myself. I sure do. Someone told 0:16:02.560 --> 0:16:04.640 me the other day, okay, this is like you're finding Jane. 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:09.120 I'm like, no, no, no, actually no, because what came up was, oh, 0:16:09.200 --> 0:16:12.120 finding Dory, because I love that movie and I love Dory. 0:16:12.280 --> 0:16:14.680 But I was like, no, it's not finding Janee. It's 0:16:14.840 --> 0:16:18.880 coming back to my authentic self, to who I really 0:16:18.960 --> 0:16:22.520 am that I ignored for a long time because I 0:16:22.720 --> 0:16:27.560 was working out of a place of survival, and now 0:16:28.040 --> 0:16:29.920 I want to put all of that to the side, 0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:32.040 even if that means I'm going to make less money 0:16:32.400 --> 0:16:34.640 and I'm not going to be as cool, but I'm 0:16:34.640 --> 0:16:37.680 going to be cool to myself. I'm gonna make music 0:16:37.720 --> 0:16:40.440 that is cool to me, that is going to help 0:16:40.840 --> 0:16:43.280 heal the world in some way, even if there's only 0:16:43.440 --> 0:16:47.080 five people listening to it. And I've been so inspired. 0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:49.560 I've been writing so many poems. I wrote this poem 0:16:49.640 --> 0:16:53.640 called They called me crazy because they did when I 0:16:53.720 --> 0:16:55.960 was telling people this that I was not going to 0:16:56.000 --> 0:16:58.320 sign with my record label, that I was going to 0:16:58.320 --> 0:17:00.880 be independent, which is more expensive, which is a lot 0:17:00.920 --> 0:17:06.040 more work, especially after winning three Latin Grammys with my 0:17:06.119 --> 0:17:08.480 record label who I love, and I'm so grateful for 0:17:08.560 --> 0:17:11.280 each and every single one of them, Like I'm so grateful. 0:17:11.320 --> 0:17:13.080 It makes me emotional because I'm like, damn, I don't 0:17:13.119 --> 0:17:15.040 want them to feel like I'm not being grateful, but 0:17:15.720 --> 0:17:18.399 it's something I had to do for my soul. And 0:17:18.440 --> 0:17:21.280 they called me like crazy, like are you sure you 0:17:21.320 --> 0:17:24.400 want to do this? This sounds crazy, Like you are 0:17:24.720 --> 0:17:28.560 right there, you are about to become, like you know, 0:17:29.200 --> 0:17:31.919 you could become worldwide if you just stick to this. 0:17:32.000 --> 0:17:36.320 I'm like, but do I really want that? Though? I'm like, 0:17:36.480 --> 0:17:39.200 that's what you're not understanding, like, this is my soul. 0:17:39.400 --> 0:17:42.560 This is and I can't ignore it because if I 0:17:42.560 --> 0:17:47.439 ignore it, I've learned and I've seen with other people 0:17:48.880 --> 0:17:51.880 and my own experiences as well, that if I ignore this, 0:17:52.400 --> 0:17:55.800 I'm going to regret it. And I feel like something 0:17:56.960 --> 0:18:00.840 not bad, But I guess some bad's going to happen. 0:18:00.840 --> 0:18:02.120 And I don't know if that's just me and that's 0:18:02.160 --> 0:18:04.600 just like my OCD. I don't know, but I really 0:18:04.680 --> 0:18:07.800 really feel like this is a soul calling and I 0:18:07.800 --> 0:18:10.520 feel like I'm going actually not me. I'm not going 0:18:10.560 --> 0:18:12.000 to be surprised because I know and I feel it, 0:18:12.040 --> 0:18:13.359 and I hear it, and I see it in my 0:18:13.400 --> 0:18:15.520 moment of prayer. You guys in meditation, I'm like, oh 0:18:15.520 --> 0:18:18.119 my gosh, I see it. I see that this is 0:18:18.200 --> 0:18:21.000 going to take me to another place. And even if 0:18:21.040 --> 0:18:23.080 it's not what other people want it to look like, 0:18:23.640 --> 0:18:26.159 it's exactly what I see. But I know it's going 0:18:26.240 --> 0:18:29.720 to be surprisingly successful to a lot of people, because 0:18:29.720 --> 0:18:31.479 I know that there are some people that are like, hey, 0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:32.920 I'm going to do this with you, but I don't 0:18:32.960 --> 0:18:35.080 know where it's headed. I think they're going to be 0:18:35.119 --> 0:18:39.480 pleasantly surprised, And I think all my listeners and the 0:18:39.480 --> 0:18:42.080 people that love my music, people that know Jane, because 0:18:42.080 --> 0:18:45.320 I've been very consistent. If you have followed my family 0:18:45.880 --> 0:18:49.800 and you have watched the reality shows, I have been 0:18:49.880 --> 0:18:52.600 very consistent with the person that I am. Especially in 0:18:52.600 --> 0:18:55.840 the reality shows. I was very Jenee a lot recycling 0:18:55.920 --> 0:18:59.160 and very hippie and very like go back and look 0:18:59.200 --> 0:19:02.199 at all these episodes of Cheeks in control of everything 0:19:02.200 --> 0:19:05.000 that I did. I've been very consistent. I just went 0:19:05.200 --> 0:19:08.199 on another path for a while. But the people that 0:19:08.320 --> 0:19:10.120 know me and have been following me for a long time, 0:19:10.240 --> 0:19:12.760 like the oh, you know, the j C Lovers that 0:19:12.800 --> 0:19:15.760 was my first fan club before Bossy Nation, j C Lovers, 0:19:15.760 --> 0:19:17.840 the og boss B's, It's not going to be a 0:19:17.840 --> 0:19:20.880 surprise if you follow me on social media. I feel 0:19:20.920 --> 0:19:22.720 like it's not like, oh my gosh, she just did 0:19:22.760 --> 0:19:24.720 a complete three sixty and now she wants to be 0:19:24.760 --> 0:19:28.040 spiritual or she wants to be whatever, Like no, this 0:19:28.200 --> 0:19:31.120 goes This is very on brand with Janey. I don't 0:19:31.160 --> 0:19:33.280 know with Cheeky's, but even with Cheeky's, you know, I 0:19:33.320 --> 0:19:35.159 would always talk about God on stage and everything. But 0:19:36.000 --> 0:19:39.080 Chicks is resting. I got that girl in the closet 0:19:39.080 --> 0:19:42.040 waiting for me. That doesn't mean I'm never gonna sing regional. 0:19:42.160 --> 0:19:45.280 I'm never gonna sing my crazy songs and all that stuff. 0:19:45.720 --> 0:19:50.119 Just right now, I'm feeling this. I'm living this quiet 0:19:50.160 --> 0:19:54.960 life everything that I just explained, and it feels freaking fantastic. 0:19:55.160 --> 0:19:58.040 I needed this, and I know that the people that 0:19:58.080 --> 0:20:00.760 are meant to come with me on this new journey 0:20:01.640 --> 0:20:03.840 are gonna come with me, and those that don't work 0:20:03.960 --> 0:20:07.040 meant to and those that love me will love it 0:20:07.760 --> 0:20:09.760 and say, oh, this is very Jane. Yeah, this is 0:20:09.800 --> 0:20:12.520 so Jenney, you know. And I'm not worried about it. 0:20:12.560 --> 0:20:15.400 I am really not. And you know what I'm gonna 0:20:15.400 --> 0:20:18.920 read you, guys the poem. They called me crazy, Okay, 0:20:19.240 --> 0:20:23.080 exclusively here four cheese and choky. It's like a spoken word, 0:20:23.320 --> 0:20:25.960 so just imagine. I still haven't figured out if I 0:20:25.960 --> 0:20:27.199 want to make it a song, if I'm gonna keep 0:20:27.200 --> 0:20:28.600 it in a poem, I don't know. But anyway, this is 0:20:28.640 --> 0:20:30.240 what came out of my heart one day in Miami. 0:20:30.920 --> 0:20:33.639 They called me crazy for wanting more than what sparkled, 0:20:34.000 --> 0:20:36.240 for walking away from applause. I didn't feel in my 0:20:36.320 --> 0:20:40.960 chest for choosing silence over noise, peace over platform, God 0:20:41.080 --> 0:20:44.280 over gimmicks. They called me ungrateful because I didn't bow 0:20:44.359 --> 0:20:47.200 to the glitter or chase the ghost of what's working. 0:20:47.840 --> 0:20:50.879 But what frightens me more than failure is faking it. 0:20:51.320 --> 0:20:54.480 What scares me more than losing the spotlight is losing 0:20:54.480 --> 0:20:59.040 myself under it. I heard God whisper, there's more for you, 0:20:59.320 --> 0:21:02.639 but it's not. And even though my knees trembled and 0:21:02.720 --> 0:21:05.840 my eagle screamed and the world said, why would you 0:21:05.920 --> 0:21:09.880 leave now? I left because some people don't know when 0:21:09.920 --> 0:21:12.960 to walk away, but I do, and I am. I'd 0:21:13.040 --> 0:21:15.639 rather be called crazy for choosing freedom than to be 0:21:15.800 --> 0:21:21.680 worshiped for wearing a mask. This path, it's lonely, sometimes quiet, wild, 0:21:22.000 --> 0:21:25.440 but it's mine, and it leads me home to breathe, 0:21:25.640 --> 0:21:29.200 to truth, to God, to me. Oh my god, it's 0:21:29.320 --> 0:21:31.280 kind of good, guys. I was like, oh my god, 0:21:32.040 --> 0:21:33.440 I was so inspired. I was at the gym in 0:21:33.480 --> 0:21:36.959 Miami and I was kind of going through it. I 0:21:37.000 --> 0:21:39.520 was crying, having a crying episode on the elliptical, and 0:21:39.560 --> 0:21:40.800 I was like, oh my god, A cat like, I 0:21:40.840 --> 0:21:43.600 feel so inspired because they had just told me like, 0:21:43.640 --> 0:21:46.960 are you crazy? And I was like what am I? 0:21:47.119 --> 0:21:48.679 And I started getting into my head and I was 0:21:48.680 --> 0:21:52.199 like no, wait, like no, Jane, sit down. And I 0:21:52.320 --> 0:21:55.480 sat down on the floor in the gym by myself, 0:21:55.880 --> 0:21:58.320