WEBVTT - Caterina Scorsone on Finding Flow & Fighting for Equity 0:00:02.040 --> 0:00:04.880 Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda Land Audio 0:00:05.000 --> 0:00:08.200 in partnership with I Heart Radio. It's amazing though as 0:00:08.240 --> 0:00:11.040 a mother, I feel like when I'm locked in those 0:00:11.080 --> 0:00:13.760 power struggle moments where I'm like, oh my god, how 0:00:13.800 --> 0:00:17.880 are you capable of arguing like an attorney and you're 0:00:17.960 --> 0:00:24.720 only a child? And I can simultaneously me in like 0:00:25.560 --> 0:00:30.080 total frustration, but there's this tiny little voice that's like, 0:00:30.320 --> 0:00:33.000 You're gonna be okay, kid. Yeah. Yeah. I feel the 0:00:33.000 --> 0:00:34.440 same way, like, oh my god, this is going to 0:00:34.520 --> 0:00:45.600 make an exceptional adult. Hi, everybody, Welcome back to Katie's Crib. 0:00:46.080 --> 0:00:49.720 My very, very good friend is on the podcast today. 0:00:49.920 --> 0:00:54.000 I love her. We are Shonda Land family. You know her, 0:00:54.120 --> 0:00:57.440 you love her as Dr Amelia Shephard on Gray's Anatomy. 0:00:57.600 --> 0:01:01.880 She is Katarinas Scorsone. She and I talk about so 0:01:01.960 --> 0:01:04.959 much stuff, raising three children in a pandemic. She's got 0:01:05.000 --> 0:01:08.160 three girls. Katerina was a doula. Did you know that 0:01:08.200 --> 0:01:11.679 she like trained as a dula. Her daughter Pippa has 0:01:11.800 --> 0:01:15.440 Down syndrome, and we talk a lot about what that's 0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:18.720 like in her life, Teachable moments and engaging in conversations 0:01:18.720 --> 0:01:23.000 about disability. We talked about equity versus equality. We talk 0:01:23.080 --> 0:01:26.680 about life on set. Guys, this is a great episode. 0:01:26.760 --> 0:01:29.080 We talk about a lot of different stuff. And if 0:01:29.120 --> 0:01:32.679 you don't know who Katarina Scorsone is, that's crazy. But 0:01:32.760 --> 0:01:36.240 if you don't, here's a little bit more about her. 0:01:36.680 --> 0:01:39.520 Before she was Dr Amilia Shepherd on Gray's Anatomy. She 0:01:39.600 --> 0:01:42.840 was Dr Emilias Shepherd on Private Practice. She's also Dr 0:01:42.880 --> 0:01:45.920 Amilias Shepherd on Station nineteen. What Watch on the Land? 0:01:46.040 --> 0:01:50.160 So many shows, so many shows, so awesome. Offscreen, Katerina's 0:01:50.160 --> 0:01:52.840 passion and purpose has been centered on her family, and 0:01:52.880 --> 0:01:55.200 like I mentioned, it includes her four year old daughter, Pippa, 0:01:55.240 --> 0:01:57.760 who was born with Down syndrome, and in recent years 0:01:57.800 --> 0:02:00.520 she's been using her platform to promote greater understanding and 0:02:00.560 --> 0:02:03.400 awareness and an effort to end stigmas around Down syndrome 0:02:03.400 --> 0:02:07.600 and other disabilities. Katerina, thank you for coming onto Katie's crib. 0:02:09.880 --> 0:02:15.200 I'm so happy to see you. So great. I am 0:02:15.400 --> 0:02:19.800 so happy to see you. I have missed you. Um 0:02:19.840 --> 0:02:22.440 it was made very clear by Seana Riymes that Grayson 0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:26.600 Natomy and Scandal did not exist in the same world. Um, 0:02:26.639 --> 0:02:29.120 So I'm very grateful that, in the name of motherhood, 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:33.640 we are currently creating our own crossover moment. We are, 0:02:34.040 --> 0:02:36.600 we are. But you were on we met on private practice. 0:02:36.720 --> 0:02:41.520 Oh yeah, I was on you. Oh please? I was fine. 0:02:43.080 --> 0:02:45.600 But turns out it's a lesson never learned. I played 0:02:45.600 --> 0:02:47.880 a mother. It was my first ever working job in 0:02:47.919 --> 0:02:50.920 shaan Alyn. I played a mom who left her baby 0:02:51.000 --> 0:02:53.120 in the backseat of her car because she was too tired, 0:02:53.120 --> 0:02:57.800 and the baby asphyxiated and fried, and it was terrible 0:02:57.960 --> 0:03:00.399 that I that I think I should not be less 0:03:01.120 --> 0:03:06.240 That was the most horrifying of all The writer of 0:03:06.280 --> 0:03:09.240 that episode, I think someone told me, like that actually 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:13.240 happens to like ten babies a year. Like the terrible thing. 0:03:13.400 --> 0:03:16.480 They have apparently technology that you put in your car 0:03:16.520 --> 0:03:20.480 seat that can tell if like the weight hasn't lifted 0:03:20.480 --> 0:03:22.600 out of the car seat, and if it hasn't been 0:03:22.639 --> 0:03:25.000 when you leave, like an alarm goes off or something. 0:03:25.040 --> 0:03:28.600 Because it's a big enough issue that they were able 0:03:28.680 --> 0:03:33.280 to find like investors for that project because there's demand. 0:03:34.120 --> 0:03:36.320 That's horrifying, but it goes to show you, like how 0:03:36.440 --> 0:03:39.800 tired or in your routine you're in as a mom, 0:03:39.880 --> 0:03:42.200 and like when you're pushed to the limits and you 0:03:42.280 --> 0:03:46.360 just you forget their baby in the car um First 0:03:46.400 --> 0:03:50.360 and foremost from that lovely topic, how are you doing? 0:03:50.720 --> 0:03:53.440 You are raising any year old, a four year old, 0:03:53.480 --> 0:03:56.200 and a one year old the majority of the pandemic, 0:03:56.240 --> 0:03:59.720 I only had one. How's the year been? Well, I 0:03:59.760 --> 0:04:03.720 don't oh, it's been it's been crazy, but it's been 0:04:03.840 --> 0:04:09.040 kind of beautiful. It's been kind of beautiful to have 0:04:09.160 --> 0:04:11.320 all of the like crops of your existence just like 0:04:11.360 --> 0:04:13.120 totally stripped from you and you have to kind of 0:04:13.160 --> 0:04:16.039 like make it work. Were you home schooling the eight 0:04:16.120 --> 0:04:20.520 year old? Yes, like with math and reading and stuff. 0:04:20.560 --> 0:04:29.600 I mean, let's be clear, I was facilitating her on zoom. Also, 0:04:29.880 --> 0:04:34.679 my sister moved in with me, and so I had help. 0:04:34.800 --> 0:04:37.360 And I want to be crystal clear about that. Yes, 0:04:37.440 --> 0:04:40.440 I have three children, but no one can do this 0:04:40.520 --> 0:04:42.400 on their own. And so for all of the people 0:04:42.440 --> 0:04:51.000 who are literally completely isolated, I mean, yeah, there's nothing 0:04:51.040 --> 0:04:53.560 to even say about that, because I have a village also, 0:04:53.720 --> 0:04:58.080 and I don't even understand. I literally don't understand, Like 0:04:58.160 --> 0:05:00.400 I just had to bring on an addish an old 0:05:00.440 --> 0:05:03.839 babysitter because I'm shooting at the same time that my 0:05:03.960 --> 0:05:07.400 husband's shooting and doing his pretzel business, and like we 0:05:07.440 --> 0:05:09.800 couldn't handle it all, and it was totally insane. And 0:05:10.000 --> 0:05:12.359 with multiple children in Zoom school, you can't buy locate. 0:05:12.440 --> 0:05:14.400 You have to have like one kid on one computer 0:05:14.480 --> 0:05:16.600 and then another kid. I mean with Hippa, she has 0:05:16.600 --> 0:05:18.120 a lot of therapy so that she does, and so 0:05:18.160 --> 0:05:22.400 she's on another computer doing like occupational therapy and you 0:05:22.400 --> 0:05:26.520 you literally cannot do it all totally. There was no 0:05:26.600 --> 0:05:31.280 pretending anymore that we could be these like self sustaining, 0:05:31.640 --> 0:05:34.440 isolate super moms. I've got it all going on. No 0:05:34.520 --> 0:05:38.479 one sees behind closed doors, but you know, like, yeah, no, 0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:41.440 it was a complete shit show. It was actually show. 0:05:41.560 --> 0:05:44.320 But that gave us all permission to be messy and 0:05:44.400 --> 0:05:48.360 permission to go, oh, I need community. I can't do this, 0:05:48.680 --> 0:05:51.720 and it's unreasonable for anyone to expect me to do this. 0:05:51.720 --> 0:05:54.120 This is not like a you know, like a moral failing. 0:05:54.160 --> 0:05:56.040 This is not laziness. This is not like, oh, I 0:05:56.040 --> 0:05:58.440 should have had better executive function and plan my time. 0:05:58.760 --> 0:06:01.919 This is like no effing way. Sorry, I don't know 0:06:01.920 --> 0:06:04.120 if I'm allowed to swear on that you Oh my god, 0:06:04.360 --> 0:06:08.520 welcome to my Yes, you're fine, you want Yeah, you 0:06:08.600 --> 0:06:11.240 come from a big family, So was that something you 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:14.560 knew you wanted? I did want three. And then there 0:06:14.640 --> 0:06:17.120 was a while where I thought maybe maybe I could 0:06:17.120 --> 0:06:21.480 only handle to um. And then I kind of got 0:06:21.520 --> 0:06:24.359 to a place where I think, again, this kind of 0:06:24.360 --> 0:06:28.200 recurring theme that's coming up over and over again is community. 0:06:28.520 --> 0:06:31.840 I've seen in my life how family has been so 0:06:31.920 --> 0:06:39.800 important to me, thriving through challenging circumstances and just having 0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:43.400 like that shared history with people and people who have 0:06:43.520 --> 0:06:45.640 kind of known you and seen you grow and evolve 0:06:46.120 --> 0:06:49.719 over many years, and especially now, I think our our 0:06:49.800 --> 0:06:53.240 society is so kind of isolated and fractured pandemic or 0:06:53.279 --> 0:06:59.120 no pandemic, and so actually having like more community seemed 0:06:59.120 --> 0:07:02.000 appealing to me for myself, but also for the girls 0:07:02.640 --> 0:07:05.800 um that they would have teammates in life, and even 0:07:05.800 --> 0:07:09.560 if they didn't get along, you know, they would still 0:07:09.600 --> 0:07:11.920 be kind of working out those muscles and figuring out 0:07:12.280 --> 0:07:15.440 how to compromise and how to be patient. That's a 0:07:15.600 --> 0:07:18.480 great way to think about it, actually, because I'm really 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:20.559 close with I have one sibling, I have one brother, 0:07:20.640 --> 0:07:22.680 and we're really really close and I've always just like 0:07:23.200 --> 0:07:27.600 assumed that if I gave my son a sibling that 0:07:27.640 --> 0:07:29.760 they would be really close, And I had to look 0:07:29.800 --> 0:07:32.040 at it and be like, well, that's not a guarantee. 0:07:32.320 --> 0:07:33.960 It's not a guarantee they're gonna like each other. It's 0:07:33.960 --> 0:07:35.840 not a guarantee they're going to get along or there 0:07:36.080 --> 0:07:40.320 that they will their whole lives. But even if they don't, 0:07:40.960 --> 0:07:44.840 You're right, it still is learning lessons. They're working out 0:07:44.880 --> 0:07:47.440 whatever they're here to work out, right, I mean what 0:07:47.560 --> 0:07:49.480 I mean, look at our workplace. We have to be 0:07:50.440 --> 0:07:54.440 great actors and artists, but really, let's be honest, like 0:07:54.600 --> 0:07:59.520 a huge proportion of our skill as serious television actors 0:08:00.040 --> 0:08:05.080 is about getting along with others absubolutely getting along with 0:08:05.160 --> 0:08:07.840 personalities on day and days and at five am and 0:08:07.880 --> 0:08:11.080 a trailer versus two am on a Friday night and 0:08:11.240 --> 0:08:13.880 fifteen hours in when you've been in the rain all 0:08:13.960 --> 0:08:16.480 day and you've been up with your child all night, 0:08:16.640 --> 0:08:18.520 and then you're like showing up to work and you're 0:08:18.560 --> 0:08:21.400 really fucking cranky. All of those things. A lot of 0:08:21.400 --> 0:08:24.920 it has to do with character, and yes, character building. 0:08:26.320 --> 0:08:31.080 I read that you became a trained doula before you 0:08:31.120 --> 0:08:34.880 were having your own kids. Tell me about that. What 0:08:35.040 --> 0:08:39.040 drew you to do that? UM? A few things, I 0:08:39.080 --> 0:08:42.520 mean one of them was that my sister, UM, she 0:08:42.840 --> 0:08:46.360 had a baby UM when we were pretty young, and 0:08:46.600 --> 0:08:48.480 she didn't have a partner at the time, and so 0:08:48.559 --> 0:08:52.400 I was her birth coach through that process. She's kind 0:08:52.400 --> 0:08:54.880 of always like Marcia the beat of her own drum, 0:08:55.000 --> 0:08:57.760 and she was like, cool, I'm gonna do a home birth. 0:08:59.240 --> 0:09:01.839 And I was like what. I was like, horrid vibe, 0:09:02.040 --> 0:09:04.719 you know. But then I started reading material by on 0:09:04.920 --> 0:09:07.520 my Gaskin and and learning about it, and I was like, 0:09:07.559 --> 0:09:09.600 this is kind of great. So she had a home 0:09:09.640 --> 0:09:13.200 birth and I was her you know, accompaniment through that birth, 0:09:13.280 --> 0:09:18.080 and I saw this way, yeah, yeah, I decided to 0:09:18.080 --> 0:09:20.600 be a dula. And then I had my I had 0:09:20.600 --> 0:09:25.079 three home births myself. I didn't know you had home birth. 0:09:25.280 --> 0:09:29.280 I had three home births, so I yeah, And so 0:09:29.480 --> 0:09:32.560 really went from I saw my sister, who was this 0:09:32.679 --> 0:09:37.080 kind of you know, wild young girl transition. I mean, 0:09:37.080 --> 0:09:41.200 the whole labor itself was so beautiful. We had like 0:09:41.320 --> 0:09:44.040 meditative music on, and this girl we knew, who was 0:09:44.080 --> 0:09:47.160 like a Ricky Master came over and like you put 0:09:47.160 --> 0:09:49.840 her hands on her, and it like focused her. Was 0:09:49.880 --> 0:09:52.280 it long? Was it a long labor? No? I think 0:09:52.320 --> 0:09:54.320 it was like I want to say it was seven hours, 0:09:54.320 --> 0:09:58.200 and then oh, good lord, that's a joke, right, But 0:09:58.280 --> 0:09:59.959 that was the other thing. She was in the comfort 0:10:00.040 --> 0:10:02.000 of our own home, so she was very relaxed and 0:10:02.040 --> 0:10:05.280 comfortable and um. And again I'm going to do the 0:10:05.320 --> 0:10:08.880 disclaimer here, and home birth is not for everyone. I'm 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:11.920 happy there are hospitals for people who need hospitals to 0:10:12.000 --> 0:10:14.240 have their babies and who feel safer in a hospital 0:10:14.320 --> 0:10:17.800 or more comfortable there. The point of home birth is 0:10:18.080 --> 0:10:22.079 to give women who are candidates for it, that's right. 0:10:22.120 --> 0:10:26.280 I've heard at length from home birth du Lahs that 0:10:26.360 --> 0:10:29.400 like you actually even have to like sort of qualify 0:10:29.640 --> 0:10:33.320 in a way that you're very low risk, that you know, 0:10:33.440 --> 0:10:36.760 the pregnancy itself is very low risk, Like they're actually 0:10:36.800 --> 0:10:39.280 all these things sort of have to check off to 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:43.520 even really entertain the idea of right, And I think 0:10:43.520 --> 0:10:46.480 people don't realize that really the main job of the 0:10:46.520 --> 0:10:50.640 midwife is to monitor you throughout your whole pregnancy and 0:10:50.720 --> 0:10:55.880 make sure everything is typical. In most cases, everything is 0:10:55.920 --> 0:10:58.600 typical because our bodies evolved for millions of years to 0:10:58.640 --> 0:11:00.560 be very good at doing this thing, which is why 0:11:00.720 --> 0:11:03.800 we have an overpopulation problem, right, right, you know what 0:11:03.800 --> 0:11:06.199 I mean? We're good at it. Actually yeah, but in 0:11:06.240 --> 0:11:09.559 some cases people might have like a different kind of pelvis, 0:11:09.600 --> 0:11:13.440 and the midwife is supposed to check that out right 0:11:13.480 --> 0:11:16.840 before we get into any sort of ship show exactly. 0:11:27.320 --> 0:11:31.600 So with three pregnancies and three home birds, do you 0:11:31.679 --> 0:11:34.000 have a favorite? Are you even allowed to say that? God? 0:11:34.200 --> 0:11:36.160 I don't think I could say that, I know, right, 0:11:36.679 --> 0:11:42.480 but do you? Because I do, well, no different, I 0:11:42.480 --> 0:11:45.600 should say they're different. Mike Toddler's so hard right now, 0:11:45.640 --> 0:11:48.000 like he's such a three manager and every single thing 0:11:48.080 --> 0:11:50.920 is a negotiation. So you know, I'm just in it 0:11:50.920 --> 0:11:52.760 with him, right. He just got big trouble yesterday for 0:11:52.840 --> 0:11:54.640 hitting someone in the face with a stick, So we're 0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:59.000 not like a great place. It's amazing that as a mother, 0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:02.160 I feel like when I'm locked in those power struggle 0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:04.600 moments where I'm like, oh my god, how are you 0:12:04.840 --> 0:12:09.960 capable of arguing like an attorney and you're only a child? 0:12:12.040 --> 0:12:18.760 And I can simultaneously me in like total frustration. But 0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:21.200 there's this tiny little voice that's like you're gonna be 0:12:21.200 --> 0:12:23.840 okay kid, Yeah, yeah, I feel the same way, like, 0:12:23.840 --> 0:12:26.360 oh my god, this is going to make an exceptional adult. 0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:31.400 But exactly, this is hell to tell me about the 0:12:31.880 --> 0:12:36.600 labors and the pregnancies. How were they were they all different? 0:12:36.800 --> 0:12:41.000 Were they all were their similarities? Okay? So I mean 0:12:41.440 --> 0:12:45.080 I can't complain. They were pretty good. They were pretty good. 0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:47.920 I had a really only time. It's important to say 0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:50.160 these things. We have a lot of listening who are 0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:53.880 pregnant or who want to get pregnant, or or thinking 0:12:53.880 --> 0:12:56.400 about a second or third or fourth child, and I 0:12:56.440 --> 0:13:01.319 think that we also highlight a ton of not so great. 0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:04.600 So it's also really important to say when no, you 0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:08.800 know what, I had three pregnancies and they were fucking awesome. Well, 0:13:08.880 --> 0:13:10.200 and I do want to say that one of the 0:13:10.200 --> 0:13:13.920 things that I was so frustrated with um historically, even 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:16.640 before you know Shonda Land, which is this very like 0:13:16.760 --> 0:13:21.320 woman centric woman lad situation, before that, most TV writers 0:13:21.320 --> 0:13:26.680 were dudes, right, And so the storytelling, and again it's 0:13:26.679 --> 0:13:32.120 not just storytelling on television, it's cultural storytelling, was the 0:13:32.520 --> 0:13:36.920 kind of narrative through line that was designed to terrorize 0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:42.000 women and make them fearful of themselves. Was that pregnancy 0:13:42.080 --> 0:13:45.839 and labor are this like pathology. Again, it was like 0:13:46.000 --> 0:13:49.080 doctors are in med school, they're learning about pathologies, and 0:13:49.120 --> 0:13:51.640 so if you put labor and birth into that category, 0:13:52.040 --> 0:13:54.480 you think it's an illness. It's not an illness. It's 0:13:54.520 --> 0:13:57.800 a beautiful, miraculous human function that again we evolved to 0:13:57.920 --> 0:14:01.199 do and are very powerful and good. And so they 0:14:01.240 --> 0:14:05.440 pathologize it, and the narrative is that it's this emergency, 0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:08.880 it's terrible, we have to be rescued from it. There's 0:14:08.880 --> 0:14:11.520 someone in the grocery store. They drop a jar of 0:14:11.520 --> 0:14:14.880 pickles and shatters. They start screaming, the water breaks, the 0:14:15.080 --> 0:14:16.839 rush to the hospital as though they've been in a 0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:20.840 car accident. It's just so traumatic. It's so traumatic, and 0:14:20.840 --> 0:14:23.680 then they're rescued by these like male doctors in white 0:14:23.800 --> 0:14:26.240 and thank god those men were there, because I don't 0:14:26.280 --> 0:14:27.760 know how I would have had a baby with just 0:14:27.880 --> 0:14:32.080 woman and my vagina, but you could. But you could, 0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:36.040 because that's how you do it. Yeah. I was just 0:14:36.080 --> 0:14:38.160 having this conversation with my friend who's do like any day, 0:14:38.160 --> 0:14:40.520 and she was like freaking out because her dula has 0:14:40.560 --> 0:14:42.520 like six people do at the same time, and she's 0:14:42.520 --> 0:14:44.280 not gonna like, can't you Will she be there? Will 0:14:44.320 --> 0:14:45.760 she not? Will she be there with? And I said, 0:14:45.760 --> 0:14:49.840 I got news for you. It doesn't really matter. I said, 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:52.760 I know you might want and picture this thing a 0:14:52.760 --> 0:14:54.560 certain way with certain people in the room, But the 0:14:54.560 --> 0:14:57.520 good news is you're enough, like you're going to get 0:14:57.560 --> 0:14:59.560 your own self through this, and your baby is gonna 0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:02.840 be here safely. And we've been doing this since like 0:15:02.880 --> 0:15:05.720 the beginning of time. There's there's really no option. You 0:15:05.800 --> 0:15:10.160 kind of get to like transition. Yeah, you're like, and 0:15:10.240 --> 0:15:12.280 I think we all have that moment at transition where 0:15:12.280 --> 0:15:14.840 we're like, I've changed my mind. I don't think I 0:15:14.840 --> 0:15:21.000 would like to do this. So okay, your labors, um, 0:15:21.040 --> 0:15:25.240 I can't believe you had. Is it non medicated or unmedicated? Yeah? No, 0:15:25.240 --> 0:15:29.360 no medication. But listen, though, this is kind of cool, 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:36.200 tell me tell me well. One of the things that 0:15:36.280 --> 0:15:41.640 happened by studying Midwiffrey and studying Doulah stuff was I 0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:44.320 started learning about the human body and the human mind 0:15:44.320 --> 0:15:47.800 and the connection right and so so I was meditating 0:15:47.840 --> 0:15:51.120 throughout my pregnancy and a lot of it was centered 0:15:51.200 --> 0:15:56.600 on again deep programming this idea that the discomfort from 0:15:56.680 --> 0:16:00.480 labor is bad, bad, that this is a pology and 0:16:00.480 --> 0:16:04.240 you're getting injured. That's not what's happening. You're in discomfort. 0:16:04.720 --> 0:16:06.960 That's true. I'm not going to take away from that, 0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:11.280 but it's not that discomfort is not a sign that like, 0:16:11.320 --> 0:16:14.840 oh my femur is broken, like it's progressing. Right. My 0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:17.360 Dula would always say to me, like one more contraction 0:16:17.520 --> 0:16:19.560 is like, it's not a bad thing. It's one step 0:16:19.600 --> 0:16:23.040 closer to meeting your baby, you know, even the languaging 0:16:23.080 --> 0:16:25.000 around it. I mean, I'm a Gaskin who talks a 0:16:25.040 --> 0:16:27.080 lot about it. It doesn't want to call it contractions 0:16:27.080 --> 0:16:29.240 because she's like the word contraction makes you tense up. 0:16:29.840 --> 0:16:35.560 She calls the rushes beautiful. Right, imagery is like this 0:16:35.760 --> 0:16:39.360 wave kind of coming over you and like, you know, 0:16:39.520 --> 0:16:43.640 opening your cervix so your baby can come out. Dude, 0:16:43.720 --> 0:16:45.720 if I have another baby, which I am not, I 0:16:45.760 --> 0:16:49.040 would very much like to hire you as I love 0:16:49.080 --> 0:16:52.160 my Duelo. She's been on this twice and I'm obsessed 0:16:52.200 --> 0:16:55.680 with her. But maybe you can both do it. What 0:16:55.880 --> 0:17:00.920 made you retire your Duela straps, I don't know, as 0:17:01.080 --> 0:17:03.720 exhaust was it when you were like, and now I'm 0:17:03.760 --> 0:17:06.400 working in acting job eight million hours a day. Yeah, 0:17:06.520 --> 0:17:08.840 kind of. I went down to the farm to study 0:17:08.920 --> 0:17:14.920 with an Ame Gaskins. Yeah. Yeah, to the farm, you guys. 0:17:14.960 --> 0:17:18.080 For everyone listening, I had a Megas Skin wrote a book. 0:17:18.160 --> 0:17:20.760 It's called I have it. What is it called again, 0:17:21.200 --> 0:17:24.920 Amazed Guy to Childbirth? I'd Amazed Guide to Childbirth. When 0:17:24.960 --> 0:17:27.960 you open the book, is it from the seventies? The 0:17:27.960 --> 0:17:31.879 book seventies books? YEA spiritualman Wifery was her first, like 0:17:32.040 --> 0:17:34.439 the first version of it. And in that she's like 0:17:34.480 --> 0:17:37.640 and then you get the rushes and it's super groovy, man. Yeah, 0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:41.320 and you're seeing pictures of babies coming out of vagina's 0:17:41.400 --> 0:17:43.199 and there's just a lot of bush and you're like, 0:17:43.320 --> 0:17:48.760 this is so retro everywhere boobs and like lower children 0:17:49.320 --> 0:17:52.400 then I'll have these long beards. Yeah. And she had 0:17:52.680 --> 0:17:56.680 a farm where she would train midwives and people could 0:17:56.760 --> 0:18:02.000 go there and do like fully this amazing home birth style. 0:18:02.040 --> 0:18:05.000 I don't know what her style. And yeah, the farm 0:18:05.080 --> 0:18:11.800 was actually the longest functioning commune in like American history. 0:18:11.880 --> 0:18:16.119 It started in the seventies. Her husband and partner was 0:18:16.280 --> 0:18:19.480 like a professor from Berkeley and the whole caravan of 0:18:19.720 --> 0:18:22.399 school buses. I don't know if you remember that be 0:18:23.080 --> 0:18:27.800 heaven sound. And so it's this whole thing of like 0:18:27.880 --> 0:18:31.760 trying to like unplug and take back, you know, their 0:18:31.800 --> 0:18:35.640 own economy and and have women having their own babies 0:18:35.680 --> 0:18:37.879 because at the time, and I just talked about this recently, 0:18:37.920 --> 0:18:40.880 but at the time, women were taken into hospitals and 0:18:41.080 --> 0:18:42.720 men weren't allowed to go with them so they'd be 0:18:42.760 --> 0:18:48.560 all alone. They were put into like Twilight. Yeah. My 0:18:48.680 --> 0:18:52.919 husband's grandmother literally said I was put out under amnesia 0:18:52.960 --> 0:18:55.160 with both of my kids and then woke up like 0:18:55.320 --> 0:18:59.720 and met them. Which why do I let's define trauma 0:19:00.920 --> 0:19:07.119 like like, how can you possibly process what just happened 0:19:07.200 --> 0:19:12.280 to you when you were unconscious? You don't know? Yeah, 0:19:12.440 --> 0:19:16.000 I mean that sounds absolutely horrifying, horrifying to me. It 0:19:16.040 --> 0:19:20.320 reminds me of like the clockwork Orange, like what's happening? Like, guys, 0:19:20.800 --> 0:19:23.719 this is so you actually went to the farm and 0:19:23.800 --> 0:19:27.720 trained there. Yeah, and that was super great. I didn't 0:19:27.760 --> 0:19:30.560 know like how deep it was, and I'm so here 0:19:30.600 --> 0:19:32.639 for it. It was pretty great. I mean because I 0:19:32.680 --> 0:19:36.040 started acting like pretty young, but I wasn't necessarily married 0:19:36.080 --> 0:19:38.760 to it as like the whole thing I was going 0:19:38.800 --> 0:19:41.119 to do in my life at that time. I was 0:19:41.160 --> 0:19:45.440 doing it primarily to pay tuition for school, and then 0:19:45.480 --> 0:19:48.000 it kind of became this passion and this thing that 0:19:48.040 --> 0:19:50.320 I was loved and that got me into flow. But 0:19:50.600 --> 0:19:53.480 for me, acting is where I very easily and quickly 0:19:53.520 --> 0:19:57.960 find flow. I'm so grateful for this path because it's 0:19:58.000 --> 0:20:00.600 so electric and it's so kind of did and you 0:20:00.640 --> 0:20:04.760 get to experience lives and connect with other actors and 0:20:04.840 --> 0:20:08.000 other lives and souls, and it can be so beautiful 0:20:08.160 --> 0:20:12.560 and powerful. But the thing is flow. The thing is 0:20:12.600 --> 0:20:17.600 not acting or entertainment industry, right, I totally agree. Yeah, 0:20:17.720 --> 0:20:21.240 So you can find flow wherever you are, yeah, right, 0:20:21.480 --> 0:20:26.280 And I think midwin free and childbirths, birth God, you 0:20:26.359 --> 0:20:30.200 can find flow there, right. Yeah. And you're you're giving 0:20:30.200 --> 0:20:32.560 me this vibe of like, Okay, so you've always really 0:20:33.560 --> 0:20:41.159 been into birth, labor, pregnancy autonomy, like family, women, your sisters, 0:20:41.240 --> 0:20:45.480 like surrounded by all this. Did you experience any sort 0:20:45.520 --> 0:20:48.800 of postpartum where you were like, oh, ship, this is 0:20:50.000 --> 0:20:53.320 not what I thought it was going to be, Or 0:20:53.840 --> 0:20:57.040 any sadness or blues or depression or like wake up 0:20:57.080 --> 0:21:02.360 calls anything like that. Like with with with having my kids, yeah, um, okay, God, 0:21:02.400 --> 0:21:04.600 they were all so different and at such different times 0:21:04.600 --> 0:21:10.919 in my life. I did not have significant depression. And 0:21:10.960 --> 0:21:14.040 some of that is probably you know, just roll of 0:21:14.119 --> 0:21:19.320 the dice, luck and uh and whatever my genetic predisposition is, 0:21:19.800 --> 0:21:22.760 and some of it, Let's be honest. I was back 0:21:22.920 --> 0:21:27.280 on set within weeks every single time I was on 0:21:27.320 --> 0:21:30.000 private practice. When I had Eliza, I think I was 0:21:30.040 --> 0:21:33.840 back to work six weeks, and then with Pippa, I 0:21:33.920 --> 0:21:38.920 was back to work four weeks later. No way, and 0:21:39.000 --> 0:21:41.639 Pippa maybe it was a little longer because it was 0:21:41.680 --> 0:21:44.560 over the Christmas break with it wasn't the regular hiatus 0:21:45.359 --> 0:21:48.359 and and so with Pippa was not only like birth, 0:21:48.520 --> 0:21:51.520 but it was like adjusting to having a child with 0:21:51.560 --> 0:21:56.280 significant special needs. Speaking about Pippa, her real name is Paloma. Yes, 0:21:56.520 --> 0:22:01.480 how did you choose that beautiful name? Well, let's see 0:22:01.680 --> 0:22:04.960 the family part of it. I mean, Eliza Giles. That's 0:22:05.160 --> 0:22:09.200 great English English. I love it so English, um and 0:22:09.200 --> 0:22:11.680 that and both of us have English uh in our 0:22:11.720 --> 0:22:15.720 in our backgrounds. Um. But I also um half Italian 0:22:15.760 --> 0:22:19.120 and my father was raised in Argentina and and so 0:22:19.240 --> 0:22:24.879 that's also there and Paloma means dove, and yeah, and 0:22:24.960 --> 0:22:27.920 so the idea of this kind of like holy spirit, 0:22:28.080 --> 0:22:34.119 peaceful little dove really appealed to us. Oh my gosh, 0:22:34.119 --> 0:22:37.560 it's it's absolutely gorgeous. How did you communicate to Eliza 0:22:37.600 --> 0:22:40.520 and loosend to that Pippa had down syndrome. So when 0:22:40.680 --> 0:22:45.120 Pippa was born, Eliza was how old Eliza was four 0:22:45.119 --> 0:22:50.360 and a half. Oh, so she was pretty young. Mostly 0:22:50.440 --> 0:22:53.760 we just we're excited about her having a sister, and 0:22:53.760 --> 0:22:55.760 then we did say that she would stay a baby 0:22:55.800 --> 0:22:58.440 for a little longer. It's kind of the way we 0:22:58.560 --> 0:23:02.199 articulated it, and the way that's true. I mean, Pippa 0:23:02.520 --> 0:23:04.800 is hitting all of her milestones. She's just hitting them 0:23:04.880 --> 0:23:08.199 later than other kids. But she jumps on the trampoline, 0:23:08.240 --> 0:23:10.639 and she has her favorite songs, and she sings like 0:23:10.720 --> 0:23:14.800 Leonard Cohen and write dances and on the tricycle, and 0:23:14.960 --> 0:23:17.480 like she does all of the things that a typical 0:23:17.560 --> 0:23:19.200 kid does, she just did them a little bit later. 0:23:19.520 --> 0:23:24.000 I want to say, I have not arrived at knowing 0:23:24.920 --> 0:23:29.560 how to engage with the conversation about disability yet and 0:23:29.640 --> 0:23:33.000 about the specifics of my family and the topic in general. 0:23:33.320 --> 0:23:35.920 I am in a learning process and I will continue 0:23:35.920 --> 0:23:37.320 to be in that learning process for the rest of 0:23:37.320 --> 0:23:40.600 my life. Um And sometimes I will make mistakes and 0:23:40.720 --> 0:23:44.040 I will try to learn about them and be accountable 0:23:44.080 --> 0:23:46.480 and do better next time. But I will never have arrived. 0:23:47.480 --> 0:23:50.480 And I think even the way I explained it to 0:23:50.520 --> 0:23:54.000 Eliza when she was little was really from a place 0:23:54.119 --> 0:23:58.919 of my own fear about the difference in what I 0:23:59.040 --> 0:24:02.000