Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous, Welcome back to the Give Them La La Podcast.
Speaker 1: I am coming off of like the best week ever
Speaker 1: I took you. I know, rightoo. I took my kid
Speaker 1: to Disneyland last week with Jack's and Britts and Cruise
Speaker 1: and then Shina, Summer Moon and Brock. We did one
Speaker 1: ride for adults. We did like the you said you
Speaker 1: did the Incredit Coaster. Yes, in Credit Coaster, we did that.
Speaker 1: It was amazing. I just needed something. I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: today's a kid's day. And by the way, Disneyland when
Speaker 1: you're there for your kid is like, it's just magical. Right.
Speaker 1: Ocean was having the best time. So that was the
Speaker 1: only like adult ride we did very early on in
Speaker 1: the day and then the rest of the time we
Speaker 1: just did like little kid rides. But we were literally
Speaker 1: there from like ten am to I want to say,
Speaker 1: like ten pm.
Speaker 2: And did the kids take naps during the day or
Speaker 2: are they just going going going.
Speaker 1: Ocean got in one nap and then she was like
Speaker 1: ready to roll. And then Summer Moon and her parents
Speaker 1: left a little bit earlier than we did. But you know,
Speaker 1: Cruisy is also a little champ. You know, the kids
Speaker 1: are all champs, but they rallied, so that was amazing.
Speaker 1: I took full advantage this weekend of sleeping in. So
Speaker 1: what I started doing Jess is on the weekends, I
Speaker 1: sleep with my phone downstairs, because if I wake up
Speaker 1: in the morning and I check my phone and I
Speaker 1: see what time it is, it could be six in
Speaker 1: the morning, and already my body is going into time.
Speaker 1: Let's start getting up, getting into wake up mode, you know,
Speaker 1: like my anxiety starts kicking in and I know, like, okay,
Speaker 1: it's it's morning time.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's interesting, So you don't So putting your phone
Speaker 2: downstairs allows you to sleep longer.
Speaker 1: I don't wake up to see what time it is,
Speaker 1: so I just wake up when my body feels ready, okay.
Speaker 2: And then do you get up or do you continue
Speaker 2: to try and sleep if like Ocean isn't up or.
Speaker 1: So Ocean has been doing this thing lately where she'll
Speaker 1: wake up. And again, I've been her mom for almost
Speaker 1: two years, so like, I know her little fusses and
Speaker 1: her little cries, and I can tell in the morning
Speaker 1: around like eight eight thirty, she's got this like fuss
Speaker 1: where I know she's not ready to get up. So
Speaker 1: She'll be awake doing her little fussing and then completely
Speaker 1: go silent until like ten.
Speaker 2: She is a champ with sleeping. She's like her mom
Speaker 2: and her geechie that, which is amazing because I mean,
Speaker 2: babies are growing, so they need sleep.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I also think it might be because I run
Speaker 1: her into the ground.
Speaker 2: You guys are constantly doing fun stuff at the park. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so that's probably like.
Speaker 1: We're constantly doing something where it's like we're going with
Speaker 1: your friends today, We're going to the park today, We're
Speaker 1: going to see Christmas lights today. Like it's non stop.
Speaker 2: And it's not like she goes to bed late because
Speaker 2: I've baby set her before. She goes to bed at
Speaker 2: like eight, yeah, eight thirty.
Speaker 1: So we all exercised our right to sleep in this weekend.
Speaker 3: I love that.
Speaker 1: Like literally Sunday morning, I woke up at noon stop
Speaker 1: and I thought it was like bright and early. So
Speaker 1: I'm like I walk downstairs, I look at the clock
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh my gosh, it's eleven nine No,
Speaker 1: And I had to like talk myself off the ledge.
Speaker 1: What do you mean I felt guilty that I slept
Speaker 1: in stop?
Speaker 2: Your body needed rest, obviously, did you in was awake
Speaker 2: with Gigi.
Speaker 1: I'm assuming Ocean was awake kicking it with jij and
Speaker 1: she was ready to go down for her nap for
Speaker 1: the day.
Speaker 2: They let you sleep in. See that's so important. Your
Speaker 2: body obviously needed it. Yeah, and it's good you got
Speaker 2: that rat.
Speaker 1: Totally because I'm telling you, Disneyland kicked my ass. My
Speaker 1: body hasn't been that tired since I pushed Ocean out
Speaker 1: of my cookie. I was like, what happened? I am
Speaker 1: so tired? Yeah, yeah, And then so cut back to Friday,
Speaker 1: had a heyday. On Friday, the Utah Utes football team
Speaker 1: played USC in not a championship game, but it was
Speaker 1: a big game. It was going to determine if USC
Speaker 1: could go into winning a national championship or the utah
Speaker 1: Utes go on to the Rose Bowl the first Not
Speaker 1: that any of you care about this, but I grew
Speaker 1: up watching Utah football from the time I was like
Speaker 1: a tiny little tot. And I dressed Ocean in her
Speaker 1: little red sweater like she was very utah Utes, and
Speaker 1: the first quarter was horrendous. I was talking to my
Speaker 1: brothers on text and my sister in law, also huge
Speaker 1: Utah fans, being like, this is real fucking bad. Guess
Speaker 1: what during halftime, I don't know what happened, but the
Speaker 1: utah Utes fucking pulled it together and whooped that trojan ass.
Speaker 2: I was like, you better work, boys, That's amazing the
Speaker 2: utah Ute.
Speaker 1: So the mascot is Swoop. It represents the red tailed hawk,
Speaker 1: a bird indigenous to the state of Utah. Oh okay, yes,
Speaker 1: so that is the mascot. Our mascot is very sexy
Speaker 1: because sometimes he wears football uniform. So he looked good.
Speaker 1: He looked real good.
Speaker 2: Oh sorry, I was gonna say, with everyone at Brittany
Speaker 2: and Jack's Jackson's house rooting for.
Speaker 1: No, they didn't give two fun Okay. At my mom's
Speaker 1: birthday dinner, I volunteered Jacks and his home to host
Speaker 1: me to watch the game. And but towards the end
Speaker 1: everyone was getting into it. It was just Jackson, britt Me,
Speaker 1: my Mom, Ocean Cruisy, Janet and Jason and so towards
Speaker 1: the end, you know, the boys started getting into it
Speaker 1: because it was It was a really great game, and
Speaker 1: I loved watching it because I felt like I was
Speaker 1: back in Utah, like that's what I grew up on,
Speaker 1: Like football was shoved down my throat as a child,
Speaker 1: like Sundays were NFL Monday Night football, Thursday night football,
Speaker 1: Friday was high school football, Saturday was it was just
Speaker 1: a lot like it was NonStop, and my whole family
Speaker 1: was that way. So it felt amazing, especially to watch
Speaker 1: Ocean like, not that she cared about the game. Maybe
Speaker 1: it was just the running like something she was into
Speaker 1: that was happening. She was watching it, dancing, totally into it.
Speaker 1: So the University of Utah football team is going to
Speaker 1: the Rose Bowl in Pasadena. I'm getting tickets for the
Speaker 1: whole family.
Speaker 2: When is it.
Speaker 1: It's on January second.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's a great day.
Speaker 1: Great day. That's a great day.
Speaker 2: That's a Sunday.
Speaker 1: Is Monday? I think it's a Monday. Okay, well that's.
Speaker 2: A great day. Everyone's still on like it's twenty twenty three.
Speaker 2: But you're not like we got to get back to it.
Speaker 1: No, you're not quite there yet where it's like the
Speaker 1: grind starts again. So now I've got to go and
Speaker 1: get all of my family matching Utah gear. I'm just
Speaker 1: very excited. I'm very excited about it that my week
Speaker 1: was great and today's podcast is going to be lit
Speaker 1: af because I have a fawn. Look a man named
Speaker 1: Mike Johnson. Mike Johnson, he was on the Bachelorette. He
Speaker 1: is a US Air Force veteran, and he's also a
Speaker 1: sex coach, a sex coach, and an author.
Speaker 2: Yes, yay, let me say something. I had a lot
Speaker 2: of fun during this interview just watching you two. And
Speaker 2: you'll hear in the interview Lalla talk about where she's
Speaker 2: at in the state of like relationships and whatnot. But
Speaker 2: it was a lot of fun to watch Lalla and
Speaker 2: Mike chat because I think they have chemistry.
Speaker 1: And that's just fun to watch.
Speaker 2: That's just fun to watch. So I think you'll hear it.
Speaker 2: He'll be able to hear it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we talk about a lot of stuff. He is
Speaker 1: very smart. And you know what, me talking about my relationship,
Speaker 1: I don't even know where I'm at right, Like I
Speaker 1: talk about it and I make zero sense. So you
Speaker 1: guys just roll with me, because I know you guys
Speaker 1: are going through similar things, Like I'm not the only
Speaker 1: one being like I don't know what the fuck is happening.
Speaker 2: No, people change their I mean I'm there and I
Speaker 2: feel like, not about my relationship, but just with things
Speaker 2: in general.
Speaker 1: In life.
Speaker 2: One day I'm like I feel this way, and the
Speaker 2: next day I'm like, I don't feel that way at all.
Speaker 2: It's yeah, we're all up and down and you have
Speaker 2: the right to feel that way.
Speaker 1: Just roll with it, you know, none of us. Anytime
Speaker 1: I hear someone say like I just thought i'd have
Speaker 1: my life figured out out by now, my love, we
Speaker 1: never have our lives figured out. And just like just
Speaker 1: when we think we do, life throws us the curveball
Speaker 1: to make sure like we're still awake. Just want to
Speaker 1: make sure you're still Brandon anyway. When we come back,
Speaker 1: We've got Mike Johnson and I'm excited. He's so hot. Hello,
Speaker 1: my loves, we are backed with Mike Johnson. You are
Speaker 1: very good looking.
Speaker 3: Good for you, you're good looking yourself. I am, yeah, definitely,
Speaker 3: you know that. Thank you.
Speaker 1: No, well, it depends on the day. The moments that
Speaker 1: we look like shit, those are called humbling moments.
Speaker 3: This is true. My mom loves to give me those
Speaker 3: humbling moments.
Speaker 1: Yes, those moments are good. So the first thing I
Speaker 1: have to ask, how the how did you end up
Speaker 1: on reality TV?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: What made you say like the Bachelorette? That sounds right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what you were on Bachelorette.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, well one. I never even had heard of
Speaker 3: the Bachelorette, never watched the episode, and they know who
Speaker 3: no one was on the show. But I was, true story.
Speaker 3: I I was financial advisor, doing pretty good for myself
Speaker 3: at the military, and I threw my phone one day
Speaker 3: at work and my homeboy and my coworker was like,
Speaker 3: what the hell wrong with you? And I'm like, real story,
Speaker 3: I was like why, I'm like, these girls just want
Speaker 3: to have sex. And I was like, bro, I'm trying
Speaker 3: to get that I want. I want like the real thing.
Speaker 3: And I was telling my homeboy like I'm like, I
Speaker 3: think I was like twenty eight at the time, twenty nine.
Speaker 3: I was like, I wanted wife and kids, bruh. And
Speaker 3: he was laughing, Okay, he was dying laughing. He was like,
Speaker 3: what do that can actually get? Women says that? And
Speaker 3: I'm like me, I'm you know, I want the real
Speaker 3: thing or whatever, And so literally about forty five minutes
Speaker 3: of him just talking about me laughing. A few weeks later,
Speaker 3: he sent me a Facebook message. Whoever goes on Facebook anyway,
Speaker 3: but he sent me a Facebook thing for a calling
Speaker 3: casting and I was off work that day, so I
Speaker 3: was like, why not?
Speaker 1: Really? Yeah, and you had never seen it before, never.
Speaker 3: Watched a single episode, never watched one second prior to
Speaker 3: that moment.
Speaker 1: How was that experience? Because I've been doing reality TV
Speaker 1: for a long time, the show you were on is
Speaker 1: a little bit different because number one, you're competing for
Speaker 1: the love of a woman, right.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 1: The other thing is is I feel like you guys
Speaker 1: are being filmed all the time, Like you're in one
Speaker 1: place and it's like cameras are up, you're constantly miked.
Speaker 2: That would freak me the fuck out, and really quick
Speaker 2: before you go into that experience, I did want to
Speaker 2: say because I had a girlfriend who made it pretty fast.
Speaker 2: She didn't get on the show, but I heard because
Speaker 2: this will tie into something you did.
Speaker 1: She made it far in the audition process, yes, but
Speaker 1: didn't get to that.
Speaker 2: They really get into your background.
Speaker 1: Is that true?
Speaker 2: Like they look into like your job and they like
Speaker 2: it's almost like a mini PI thing.
Speaker 1: I love this question.
Speaker 3: I don't really know how far they get into it
Speaker 3: for every single individual, because some people they find out
Speaker 3: the streets like damn you fine? Are you good looking?
Speaker 3: At wherever? The fris Be come on. And then for me,
Speaker 3: I did have to put my X on there. But
Speaker 3: I don't think they ever reached out to her because
Speaker 3: you know, she would have told my ass. You like
Speaker 3: they called me all of it. You know, she would
Speaker 3: be all that and my job. No one ever called
Speaker 3: my jobs either. I did have a five hundred and
Speaker 3: eighty three questions psychology test, so like, that part definitely
Speaker 3: is there, and you do. I mean, it is a
Speaker 3: full extensive background, but I don't know how in depth
Speaker 3: they go for every individual. Now, if you're crazy and
Speaker 3: you got some shit on your record, then.
Speaker 1: They might check you out more and then they'll find it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's what it's probably. I think I'm
Speaker 3: assuming that's what it's like because they can't probably go
Speaker 3: through every single individual, but if you got some let's say, stains,
Speaker 3: they might dig deeper.
Speaker 1: Okay, I like that, So my job's done there. I
Speaker 1: pass that. Good for you. I'm so wounded here I am.
Speaker 3: Let me you're fine.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna unload my baggage on deal. I Since my
Speaker 1: last relationship, I put a PI on everyone new that
Speaker 1: comes into my life who I'm like into in that.
Speaker 3: Way, what's the return on investment for that?
Speaker 1: But my job is done with you the Bachelor. I
Speaker 1: did it, That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, no, I'm great.
Speaker 1: So I get to keep two thousand dollars.
Speaker 3: There you go.
Speaker 1: Two It's a lot.
Speaker 3: I just google your ass.
Speaker 1: There's all kind of weaki clean. I'm weakly clean.
Speaker 3: I mean I could see online you got a nice
Speaker 3: little ass on you.
Speaker 1: Tell me more. I took that picture.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 1: I know everyone took this and somebody be like, she
Speaker 1: probably set it up on a tripod. I was like,
Speaker 1: I set it up on Jessica. I was like, can
Speaker 1: you take a picture of my ass? This could feel
Speaker 1: very wrong one day. She doesn't like me anymore. She
Speaker 1: made me take pictures of her naked.
Speaker 3: Fact, you gotta be careful about this stuff these days.
Speaker 1: I worry about it all the time. I'm like, Jessica, no,
Speaker 1: which is so funny.
Speaker 2: That's not even true, because she was questioning it, like
Speaker 2: should I do this photo?
Speaker 1: It's dumb.
Speaker 2: I was like, get your ass in the shower. We're
Speaker 2: taking a nude photo.
Speaker 3: That's something that dudes just can't do. Like my homeboys, like, hey, bro,
Speaker 3: you look you've been working out, like, I see you
Speaker 3: dig man like dudes can't do that. You just don't
Speaker 3: work the same.
Speaker 1: No, it does not.
Speaker 3: I'm like, what.
Speaker 2: To me?
Speaker 1: Right, So you really wanted to find love? Your fine
Speaker 1: ass was like, I want to be married with kids,
Speaker 1: which in my experience doesn't happen often.
Speaker 3: In my experience, a lot of women don't have respect
Speaker 3: for men because of the things that men have done.
Speaker 3: And I completely understand that I have respect your thoughts
Speaker 3: on that. I personally absolutely love the respect from others, and.
Speaker 1: So I feel that I love this for you.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Did you like the girl who was the bachelorette?
Speaker 3: She's cool?
Speaker 1: She was cool.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's definitely cool people.
Speaker 1: Hannah Brown, how far did you get with her? Well,
Speaker 1: I don't mean sexually, just like in the competition, I.
Speaker 3: Wasn't meaning sexually. Guy, this is years ago. I think
Speaker 3: I got sent home in sixth place.
Speaker 1: That's pretty good because how many dudes are there, like
Speaker 1: twenty initially it's like.
Speaker 3: Thirty, But I mean I don't consider that good.
Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah, you're kind of like me where I'm like,
Speaker 1: unless I won the sacond.
Speaker 3: Well, see, this is the thing about the Bachelor, though,
Speaker 3: it's like, it's not a competition to me in terms
Speaker 3: of like winning are losing, it's a competition, and cannot
Speaker 3: see myself with this person. If not, then I gotta leave.
Speaker 1: Did you leave on your own?
Speaker 3: No? She let me go.
Speaker 1: Oh, she let you go.
Speaker 3: She definitely let me go.
Speaker 1: Do you think she let you go because she could
Speaker 1: feel that like it just wasn't hitting right for both
Speaker 1: of you?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Absolutely, yeah. I mean, this is the beautiful thing
Speaker 3: about being the lead in the show like that is
Speaker 3: that you this is the one time you truly can
Speaker 3: be selfish and can't nobody say shit. Yeah, like, hey,
Speaker 3: I think you're a great individual. But you might not
Speaker 3: be for me, but you might be for La La,
Speaker 3: or you might be for Jessica, you might be for
Speaker 3: someone else.
Speaker 1: Right. That would be so hard for me because if
Speaker 1: you put does the chick have any say in who
Speaker 1: the men are.
Speaker 3: Going to be?
Speaker 1: Like? Does she get to say these are the types I.
Speaker 3: Wish, I wish I would like if I was to
Speaker 3: be the lead, I would like, Yo, if you want
Speaker 3: a good drama show, bring these thirty women on and
Speaker 3: I'm like all of them right, Yeah, So then it
Speaker 3: would be really really.
Speaker 2: Interesting question on all like that that about you being
Speaker 2: the lead. I when I was googling you heard a
Speaker 2: rumor and read something where it said you were in
Speaker 2: the running to be the lead, I think after Hannah's season.
Speaker 2: But then they chose Peter Weber instead, which is funny
Speaker 2: because it's the only season I watch, and I think
Speaker 2: he's so fucking boring. No disrespect to Peter, but he's
Speaker 2: your homide name, Peter Webber. I loved the season, but
Speaker 2: I loved it going to be a Bachelor?
Speaker 1: Were you uh for?
Speaker 3: I answered, I want to give a caveat because you
Speaker 3: know how read it are and how people are on
Speaker 3: the internet. Mike still talking about this years later. One
Speaker 3: I was asked this question, Okay, but I was in
Speaker 3: the running. Yeah, and they chose Peter. Peter's a great guy.
Speaker 1: You're so diplomatic. He's a great guy. I'm like, fuck
Speaker 1: this mocking.
Speaker 2: I loved the season, but I did. I did love
Speaker 2: it because of the women. The women on that season
Speaker 2: were bomb. They were hilarious, they were fun, they were
Speaker 2: just entertaining.
Speaker 1: He does look a little snoozel, doesn't snooze.
Speaker 3: I mean, I will say if I were the lead,
Speaker 3: I think I'll bring definitely a different type of attribute
Speaker 3: to rule, Like what I mean, I think you're just
Speaker 3: looking at me like different.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, the other leads you definitely hit different. You
Speaker 1: write sex books. You are a sex cold. The ladies
Speaker 1: are gonna be like, I need to get in the room.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: Wait, are you writing in this book? You just gave
Speaker 1: me your book? Yeah, making the love you want? Yes,
Speaker 1: I can't wait to read this. Are you talking about
Speaker 1: what you like in this book?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Because that could make things interesting if you're the bachelor,
Speaker 1: because all the tricks would be like, I know exactly
Speaker 1: what he wants. He wants a little salt and pepper
Speaker 1: shaker or whatever that called. What's it called? What is it?
Speaker 3: I don't grapefruit trick?
Speaker 1: Oh, back when I was like twenty three, love the
Speaker 1: grape fruit trick, A little vibrator on the balls.
Speaker 2: See you guys know, because.
Speaker 1: Oh pop, that was like twenty one.
Speaker 3: Hey, there you go.
Speaker 1: So what you're doing now being boring?
Speaker 3: Trust me? Why are you being boring?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: You still got like a good seventy years of life left.
Speaker 1: Do you think stress fucks up your libido? And shit?
Speaker 1: I don't think I know Okay, well then that's the reason.
Speaker 3: There you go. We can work on that.
Speaker 1: I would love to because you are a sex coach, right,
Speaker 1: is that true? Yes, let's put you get into that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's break this down all right. You went from what
Speaker 1: you said, a financial advisor. Yes, so you're good with money.
Speaker 1: I love that you were in the air Force. Yes,
Speaker 1: thank you for what you've done for our country.
Speaker 3: Thank you for your appreciation.
Speaker 1: And then you were on the Bachelorette. Yes, you've done
Speaker 1: a lot. Your resume reads and we're all over the place,
Speaker 1: which I'm digging. So how did you get into being
Speaker 1: a sex coach.
Speaker 3: Multiply an individual as a certified sex coach. The reason
Speaker 3: I got into it was because I myself was molested
Speaker 3: as a child. Okay, one in four women are sexually
Speaker 3: assaulted and indoorb's one and six men are. And so
Speaker 3: I got three women. I care a lot about my
Speaker 3: mom's sister and grandma. So you add yourself. Let's say
Speaker 3: you're my fourth lady. One out for you. I have
Speaker 3: been sexual assaulting and so therefore growing up with women
Speaker 3: that kind of affected me. And then also when I
Speaker 3: was in the military, I was a victim's advocate the
Speaker 3: only male on the entire base, and then I will.
Speaker 3: My ex and I had a miscarriage and we stopped
Speaker 3: having sex, and I don't cheat, and so I was like, yo, brother,
Speaker 3: still horny was up, you know, And so I tried
Speaker 3: to I was trying to figure out and do all
Speaker 3: kinds of different things. And someone said go see a
Speaker 3: sex therapist. And my ex at the time, she was
Speaker 3: not with it. But then I got her a coerced
Speaker 3: her to do it, and she was with it. It
Speaker 3: didn't work, but after we broke up, I just wanted
Speaker 3: to learn more about I wanted to take away the
Speaker 3: nicheans that I have as a dumb ass man, and
Speaker 3: then also to just help other people. And then of
Speaker 3: course I want to be fantastic.
Speaker 1: I love all of these reasons. You have a lot
Speaker 1: of layers. I love this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, this is incredible question for you. Do you
Speaker 2: think every guy should eat the cookie? Have you heard
Speaker 2: that expression before?
Speaker 3: I mean I haven't heard the expression, but you can
Speaker 3: get you if a woman likes it, absolutely do I
Speaker 3: like to do it? You damn right, I do.
Speaker 1: That's good because if you ain't the cookie, you ain't
Speaker 1: hitting it right, all right? And when a man eats
Speaker 1: the cookie, there are no red flags.
Speaker 3: There are feelas you heard her saying, I ain't saying
Speaker 3: she said it. There you go.
Speaker 1: I'm the wedding already. Okay. Next question, do you have
Speaker 1: to go to school to be a sex Are you
Speaker 1: a sex therapist or do you call yourself a sex coach?
Speaker 3: And is there a different there's a difference. I'm not
Speaker 3: a sex therapist. Sex therapist focused on today and behind
Speaker 3: in the past, sex coach focused on today in the future.
Speaker 3: I am a certified sex coach. I'm also working on
Speaker 3: becoming a board certified sexologist. I'll have body simmer next year,
Speaker 3: a licensed contra practitioner, and then a practitioner of natural healing.
Speaker 3: I'll have all three of those by the end of
Speaker 3: next December. And so I'm still going to school for
Speaker 3: those things. Right now. It's a tons of work. Like
Speaker 3: it ain't like, hey, stick your penis here, you know,
Speaker 3: it's so much more work than that, because I have
Speaker 3: to in order for me to be great in bad
Speaker 3: one thing that I had to learn was how to receive,
Speaker 3: and for me individually, I'm just talking about myself. I
Speaker 3: had a hard time with that and so I had
Speaker 3: to do a lot of meditation, a lot of breathing work.
Speaker 3: Outside of just the physical act of sex, you have
Speaker 3: to understand the mind. And you know, they say if
Speaker 3: you can make someone mentally with then you can definitely
Speaker 3: have you know, if I can have your mind, then
Speaker 3: I can have your body. Right. That's I'm not agreeing
Speaker 3: or disagreeing with that. That's just something that some people say.
Speaker 3: And I need to know how the mind works as well.
Speaker 3: The mind body spirit connection. There's so many pieces into it.
Speaker 3: People just say, oh, sex, he knows how to fuck.
Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, I do, But there's so much more.
Speaker 3: There's so much more to that, so so much more.
Speaker 1: No, I agree, and men and women are so different
Speaker 1: because you can be great in bed, but if mentally
Speaker 1: like you're you don't have me, I'm not getting off.
Speaker 3: You agree, completely agree with you. But then also it's
Speaker 3: not just like I continue to harp on the act
Speaker 3: of the physical act, the core play, as I say, right,
Speaker 3: there's aftercare. That is a lie. It does so much
Speaker 3: for a connection, and so it could be as simple
Speaker 3: as let's say you my girl, and I'm just holding
Speaker 3: your belly, right, those simple things for a man to
Speaker 3: knowens just in comparison to just oh baby by busting
Speaker 3: and goes.
Speaker 1: Lay down right, Yeah, like throws a wet towelet you
Speaker 1: to clean yourself off.
Speaker 3: Sounds like personal experience you've had if anything. Okay, this
Speaker 3: is a tip for the Fellers right quick, like when
Speaker 3: you know when whatever happens, right, get warm up the towel.
Speaker 1: Warm up the towel.
Speaker 3: I warm up the towel. Bro It's so simple.
Speaker 1: It's so simple. Yeah, come on, there's two little things
Speaker 1: there by the faucet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like giving them a damn coach's fucking easy.
Speaker 2: Right, So get into this aftercare more because I'm very
Speaker 2: and I've never heard of that before because usually it's
Speaker 2: like sex is over one when the guy has ejaculated.
Speaker 4: I love that you because like that it's ended when
Speaker 4: the guy has well because usually they respectfully they get
Speaker 4: you off first, like like with Kyle, it's always never
Speaker 4: happens to me ever and.
Speaker 3: Ever who Kyle is your guy.
Speaker 1: I didn't realize that there were dudes out there that
Speaker 1: like also cared if if I was happy at the end.
Speaker 1: It was like once they were done, it was like
Speaker 1: that was great. Yeah, And I'm sitting here going I
Speaker 1: know it was great for you, but like the being
Speaker 1: in your bathroom for.
Speaker 3: A word, dumb ass guys. We can get off very
Speaker 3: quickly right until you train yourself and then you can
Speaker 3: go like months without getting off. But then you to
Speaker 3: orgasm different than ejaculation, but we can get into that later.
Speaker 3: But after care, because you have first you have rising action,
Speaker 3: which is what happened before penetration. Then you have core play,
Speaker 3: and then you have aftercare or after play, and after
Speaker 3: play is super important. It builds up the intimacy. It
Speaker 3: feels a connection. It's the holding of each other. It's
Speaker 3: just talking and laughing and having fun, making fun of
Speaker 3: one another. Right, it's the fair a moments that you
Speaker 3: smell from each other. It's just being a moment with
Speaker 3: your person. Now, if you just like a sneaky link,
Speaker 3: then you might not want to be doing that.
Speaker 1: No, because I'm for sure getting a toad just so
Speaker 1: if you're doing that after you better throw me a
Speaker 1: warm tile and to clean myself off, like if you
Speaker 1: don't want, because like I can, definitely I'm the type
Speaker 1: of person where all I want is transparency.
Speaker 3: That's it, that's my right lunguage by the way, just being.
Speaker 1: Honest, right, So if I know that you and I
Speaker 1: like we're just fucking, my mind is not even gonna
Speaker 1: go anywhere else. I know what this is, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: the second you start fucking with my mind. I'm a woman.
Speaker 1: I'm also thirty two years old. I've lived not a
Speaker 1: lot of life, but I've lived some life. I'm a mom, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't have time for that shit, right, So let's
Speaker 1: call it what it is. You don't need to do
Speaker 1: like the aftercare with me. I'm a grown up. I
Speaker 1: can take it. I can have fucks.
Speaker 3: I have fucks, so sure, I can have fucks.
Speaker 1: I can have fucks. I'm actually great at that. I'm
Speaker 1: great at separating that type of shit. Okay, but you're
Speaker 1: right about that in your book, I'll write that chapter
Speaker 1: for you.
Speaker 2: Do you enjoy though, Would you enjoy the aftercare?
Speaker 1: Aftercare is my favorite part because I'm not a cheater.
Speaker 3: Percentage of time that you have sex that you feel
Speaker 3: like you've had a orgasm?
Speaker 1: Low?
Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay, so that was like reverse flipped over to like,
Speaker 3: let's say ninety after care will still be your favorite part.
Speaker 1: I think.
Speaker 3: So that's awesome.
Speaker 1: To know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you, I'm just learning.
Speaker 1: I just like those those moments with someone who I'm into,
Speaker 1: you know, like the sex is great even Like when
Speaker 1: I think about what I want in a partner, I
Speaker 1: know that looks are going to fade, and I know
Speaker 1: that sex as we get older is also going to fade.
Speaker 1: We're not going to be fucking like Jack Rabbits when
Speaker 1: we're like ninety seven.
Speaker 3: I know someone's gonna get mad at that I say this.
Speaker 3: I really don't care. Look black, doone crack?
Speaker 1: I know that from experience. Agreed with you. Yes, we
Speaker 1: all warn anly and fun places. Okay, So you think,
Speaker 1: like when you're dealing with someone who comes to you
Speaker 1: there like I need a sex coach. Where do you
Speaker 1: start with them?
Speaker 3: Lit's sit down and talk. What is it?
Speaker 1: Usually what they want? It depends on what they're coming
Speaker 1: to you for, right, depends on.
Speaker 3: What they're coming if it's an individual, if it's a
Speaker 3: couple of it depends on what's going on. Yeah, so
Speaker 3: a lot of people have this this thing with monogamy, right,
Speaker 3: but what in actuality happens is we're just we're serial
Speaker 3: monogamy in comparison to how what we say we want
Speaker 3: and how we judge other people for not being monogamous,
Speaker 3: but those that are monogamous are just serial monogamous for
Speaker 3: the most part, right, And I love what you said
Speaker 3: about Look, I'm a grown ass woman. Just give it
Speaker 3: to me straight, you know, what would you like? And
Speaker 3: then I can tell you that's what I like, so
Speaker 3: that therefore we can build boundaries and have consent, and
Speaker 3: then you have a wonderful thing going despite what side
Speaker 3: of the field that you lie on. And so when
Speaker 3: it comes to clients, which I don't have many clients
Speaker 3: one on one just because respectfully, time and money doesn't
Speaker 3: equate normally, you know, time per hour. And so that's
Speaker 3: why I'm working on Feelings Seen dot com, which is
Speaker 3: my newsletter that we're coming out with very soon to
Speaker 3: be able to help the masses, the masses at hand.
Speaker 3: And a big thing that the majority of the people
Speaker 3: that have signed up already have talked about is that
Speaker 3: they don't know how to communicate normally, as women don't
Speaker 3: know how to communicate to their man. Hey, babe, I
Speaker 3: love you, but you just haven't given me an orgasm
Speaker 3: in like five years, you know, And I'm like, damn
Speaker 3: you I just want to do to be like, bro,
Speaker 3: you should really listen to the things that I'm about
Speaker 3: to start talking about, Yes, seriously, but then also there's
Speaker 3: things that women could do better as well that guys
Speaker 3: have asked. And I mean it's just all kinds of
Speaker 3: things people have come to me and talk to me
Speaker 3: about privately. You would let your imagination for a while.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, what is it usually with men that come
Speaker 1: to you about like or a couple? What is the
Speaker 1: man usually have to complain about with the chick.
Speaker 3: When it's a one on one setting. Normally it's a
Speaker 3: chick that comes in, it has the has something that
Speaker 3: she wants it to speak to. Or the times I've
Speaker 3: had men strictly come in without their lady is because
Speaker 3: they want to do better because it's something that's taken
Speaker 3: place already.
Speaker 1: Well, are they cheated or something?
Speaker 3: No, I've had times to where cheating has definitely occurred. Right,
Speaker 3: it's his number two reasons for infidel He's number two
Speaker 3: reasons for divorce.
Speaker 1: Might is the first being financial And so the first
Speaker 1: is financial?
Speaker 3: Have you not seen these tiktoks? Where again, I'm not
Speaker 3: condoning this, I'm just speaking about tiktoks to where women
Speaker 3: are like, yo, he's a billionaire, caught him cheating, but.
Speaker 2: You you showed me the one that says like he's
Speaker 2: got red flags but he like it goes down or eats.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm he's number two. Okay, numbers financially, you ain't
Speaker 3: got your money right, You're just not even in the game.
Speaker 1: You want to know what's so crazy is because I
Speaker 1: have the p I now like I look into financials
Speaker 1: before I even allow someone in. But let's just say,
Speaker 1: like I get into that.
Speaker 3: Was a double on time.
Speaker 1: If if I meet someone he's set financially, I'm set financially.
Speaker 3: Set financially, it just.
Speaker 1: Means we're paying our bills on time and we can
Speaker 1: live a comfortable life. I'm not looking for you to
Speaker 1: like get on private planes and take me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna go deep brand said Okay, Okay, So
Speaker 3: when I hear that, I call BS on it, because
Speaker 3: what is one's bills? Bills are completely different for every person.
Speaker 3: So what is give me a number to where you're like, hi,
Speaker 3: I can work with that twenty month, the honey cab month,
Speaker 3: Like what are we talking a million a month, a
Speaker 3: million a day?
Speaker 1: If you're spending a million a day, I think you're
Speaker 1: a fucking idiot, all right, I agree, And I don't
Speaker 1: even care. No, no, I can think of a million
Speaker 1: in one places for you to be spending that money.
Speaker 1: Like I live in Los Angeles. I'm looking like what's
Speaker 1: going on out here? Like you want to spend a
Speaker 1: million a day? I know exactly how you can spend
Speaker 1: that in a productive way. What do you need for
Speaker 1: a million dollars a day, million dollars a month? You're
Speaker 1: fucking crazy. I could go on a tangent about okay,
Speaker 1: so how much you won't even go there? What is it?
Speaker 3: What is a minimum like for you to feel comfortable? Like, okay,
Speaker 3: I'll let you in.
Speaker 1: It's hard for me to put a number on it
Speaker 1: because I think for me, it's I need you to
Speaker 1: have a car. I really don't care what your car
Speaker 1: is looking like you I need you to be driving
Speaker 1: with insurance and a driver's license. Like it's a bare minimum.
Speaker 3: How sad?
Speaker 1: The bar is very low?
Speaker 3: Is that? Come on? Now?
Speaker 1: I'm really being serious, Like, if you as long as
Speaker 1: we can, you're like pulled together. You got somewhere to live,
Speaker 1: You're paying your rent, or your mortgage on time, whatever
Speaker 1: credit card, your racketing.
Speaker 3: All right, cool, we could talk.
Speaker 1: Yeah, as long as you're as long as you're falling
Speaker 1: in line with what you're supposed to do financially, then
Speaker 1: like I can definitely handle all of that, right, because
Speaker 1: I've seen money come and go like that. So whatever,
Speaker 1: let's say we're hitting it off financially at the beginning,
Speaker 1: all is good and then shit changes, because I've seen
Speaker 1: that happen quickly. That would not be a reason for
Speaker 1: me to leave somebody again. I'm only going off of
Speaker 1: like how I grew up, Like my dad hit on
Speaker 1: hard times, my mom stepped up to the plate where
Speaker 1: their arguments, but it was not to the point where
Speaker 1: they like divorce was on the table. So for me,
Speaker 1: like you would catch me stripping right like to pay
Speaker 1: these bills and make sure that we were good. It's
Speaker 1: just who I am. You'll catch me on only fans fans, No,
Speaker 1: I don't. But if we were struggling, me and my man,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, I got you, babe, Like we're all.
Speaker 3: I got you, I got I do, I got.
Speaker 1: I Would you fucking cheat? You're done. We're never having
Speaker 1: another conversation we got kids. You can talk to my lawyer, like,
Speaker 1: you will never know for real, cheating done. I will
Speaker 1: never work through it.
Speaker 3: Let me ask you another question. Yes, so this is
Speaker 3: the question.
Speaker 1: Feel like I'm with a therapist right now with you.
Speaker 3: So how would you feel if you're a guy? Was like, babe,
Speaker 3: it's been a few years. I absolutely love everything you're doing.
Speaker 3: You're phenomenal. I don't I'll never cheat on you, but
Speaker 3: I want to have a conversation around cessential phenomenogamy. What
Speaker 3: is that Potential nomenogamy is to wear.
Speaker 1: Where the third party comes in.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, we can go with that term.
Speaker 2: Yeah, or an open relationship.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a bit different, but yeah, we'll go with that.
Speaker 1: For me personally, I would say with that comment like,
Speaker 1: I don't think you're happy at this point in time,
Speaker 1: and I think this relationship has run its course, and
Speaker 1: I wish you all the best. Thank you for talking
Speaker 1: to me before you went and cree, but like, I'm
Speaker 1: all good. I hope you can find someone who's willing
Speaker 1: to have threesomes with you, because I ain't it.
Speaker 3: No, it doesn't have three threesons, but fair, completely fair, Wait.
Speaker 1: What do you mean it doesn't have to be threesomes
Speaker 1: if you're the third party.
Speaker 3: That's why I said we'll go with your term, because
Speaker 3: I didn't want to get too far in detail into
Speaker 3: the definitions of it. But it could be you saying, hey,
Speaker 3: I want to go sleep with another dude every now
Speaker 3: and or another girl every now and then.
Speaker 1: I don't want that.
Speaker 3: That's perfectly fine. The reason I asked was because you
Speaker 3: were speaking about cheating and infidelity. And what I found
Speaker 3: via my research is that for the record, I don't
Speaker 3: condone it, don't condone it. But what I found via
Speaker 3: my research is that infidelity is because the truth is
Speaker 3: harder than the lie. Yeah, and so I find that
Speaker 3: a lot of people have a really hard time telling
Speaker 3: that truth, whatever that truth may be, and so that
Speaker 3: therefore they are cowardly and they go being male woman,
Speaker 3: whatever your gender is, and they seek pleasure outside of
Speaker 3: that relationship in comparison. That's why I follow that question
Speaker 3: that was saying, how would you feel about this? And
Speaker 3: you said that person's truth within their relationship with you,
Speaker 3: So therefore they'll be scared to bring that up to you,
Speaker 3: which is their truth, and they never lie to you
Speaker 3: or don't cheated on you, right.
Speaker 1: But if that's not, if I'm not interested in that,
Speaker 1: then we're on different paths.
Speaker 3: Correct. I agree with you, you know, there's nothing wrong
Speaker 3: with that, like cool, And.
Speaker 1: It's weird because I feel like there's conversations that have
Speaker 1: to be had with couples these days, just because there's
Speaker 1: so everything is so accessible on your phone, Like you're
Speaker 1: learning about Oh I could be enough thrupple or I
Speaker 1: could you know. I'm like, I'm like rated g over
Speaker 1: here right, like I I like on.
Speaker 3: You.
Speaker 1: I just like there's so many things out there sexually
Speaker 1: with however many people and how it works, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: this is too much. I don't like it. We all
Speaker 1: need to find God and that's just where we're at.
Speaker 1: But so for me, lying freaks me out because I
Speaker 1: don't want to keep up with the lie. And I
Speaker 1: also know that karma exists, so when I'm thinking about, okay,
Speaker 1: I the lie may be easier for me to tell
Speaker 1: right now, but at some point down the line, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna have to like pay for that. I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: to be held accountable. I agree that part freaks me out.
Speaker 3: And if it's not the person that has to hold
Speaker 3: you accountable. Someone will hold you accountable, whether it be something,
Speaker 3: will hold you accountable, agree you completely.
Speaker 1: So I just like to keep it one hundred and I.
Speaker 1: I haven't been in a really healthy partnership honestly since
Speaker 1: I was probably in high school with like my high
Speaker 1: school sweetheart. You tell me, Doc, I have no fucking idea.
Speaker 1: I'm attracting something real fucking limitics in these streets. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I feel like I do the work on myself, but
Speaker 1: I'm attracted in some weirdos, you know.
Speaker 2: From an outsider looking in. Here's the thing which pisses
Speaker 2: me off, but we won't go there. To me, I
Speaker 2: feel like she goes for the good, the good things
Speaker 2: like in her past relationship.
Speaker 1: I guess she.
Speaker 2: Goes for like she's like, yeah, I get maybe he's
Speaker 2: not the best looking, maybe he's not this, maybe he's
Speaker 2: not that, but he's gonna take care of my heart
Speaker 2: and soul. I can feel it. He's my best friend,
Speaker 2: and so that's why I'm gonna be with this person.
Speaker 2: And like it makes it pisses me off because I
Speaker 2: do feel like Laala goes for the good things, which
Speaker 2: for some reason in today's world, when you're looking for
Speaker 2: the good things or something, you find these people and
Speaker 2: they trick you. It's like when you're looking for the
Speaker 2: good things, that attracts you to the manipulators. And it's
Speaker 2: weird to say because like, I feel like I have
Speaker 2: a good guy. I've been with him for six years,
Speaker 2: like he's the greatest, but I also feel it's a
Speaker 2: shout out to Kyle, but I'm lucky, and I feel
Speaker 2: like she does go for that, like she's not necessarily
Speaker 2: from an outsider looking in the person that's gonna see
Speaker 2: hot guy and be like this is it. I don't
Speaker 2: care what I'm getting with this guy. She's gonna like
Speaker 2: get with someone and invite I went into her life
Speaker 2: if they're a good person or she feels they're a
Speaker 2: good person. So then when you find out they're not,
Speaker 2: that's what's infuriating. It's like, why are the people who
Speaker 2: are looking for the good things getting fucked over a lot?
Speaker 1: So I don't think it's on you.
Speaker 2: I really dont Does that make sense?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Why do you? Because when you attract people who
Speaker 1: are just like not great over and over again, you
Speaker 1: have to look at like, what is it about me
Speaker 1: that's allowing this type of person into my life, you know,
Speaker 1: and I'm the type where my guard is completely down
Speaker 1: when I meet new people. I'm not damaged that well, no,
Speaker 1: I'm damaged. But before it was like, let's do this,
Speaker 1: and then when you do me wrong is when the
Speaker 1: guard goes up. So I never allow myself to sit
Speaker 1: there and go When you earn things, then you get
Speaker 1: a part of me. I give it all, and then
Speaker 1: when you show me something that I don't like or
Speaker 1: you do me dirty, then it's like a very quick
Speaker 1: like I'm done, Like I feel so betrayed. That makes sense,
Speaker 1: completely made.
Speaker 3: Both of y'all make complete sense.
Speaker 1: I feel like this is your podcasting, but I'm taking
Speaker 1: advantage of the fact that you do what you do
Speaker 1: to fix me on this podcast.
Speaker 3: Well, we're gonna give that. We're gonna put the energy
Speaker 3: back in your seat. I'm just gonna say, what respond
Speaker 3: to what you said, Jessica, Yeah, my grandma'd be dating
Speaker 3: some ugly ass dudes too, so.
Speaker 1: Me and your grandma should go out and troll together.
Speaker 1: We anting I.
Speaker 3: Would be like, hey, why are you getting.
Speaker 1: It, ugliest dude?
Speaker 3: Come on?
Speaker 1: But she has her reasons.
Speaker 3: No, And you know, a dude gotta be like for
Speaker 3: I'm a straight mail, right, and so for a straight
Speaker 3: mail to talk about another man's looks, that man has
Speaker 3: to be extremely uly or extremely good looking, Like, yeah,
Speaker 3: you can't just be like three to a eight. You
Speaker 3: gotta be like on the extreme side.
Speaker 1: Totally. That's very true. So she's dating some ugly but
Speaker 1: she's I bet she has her reasons.
Speaker 2: No, Is it because they're kind or funnier?
Speaker 1: Something?
Speaker 3: They are kind? Yeah, I appreciate the way that they
Speaker 3: treat her. Then I get to listen to I grew
Speaker 3: up with three women, of course, and so we got
Speaker 3: that woman trongness in the household. And I'm like, damn,
Speaker 3: this is how you'all feel about man? Okay?
Speaker 1: Can I tell you what I've learned?
Speaker 3: Yes? Please?
Speaker 1: Ugly men will do you the dirtiest, especially an ugly
Speaker 1: man who's come into like maybe like a little bit
Speaker 1: of money. Run.
Speaker 3: Is that the equivalent of a person that was once
Speaker 3: a beste that got in super shape?
Speaker 1: Is that the equivalent would you say, an ugly man
Speaker 1: coming into money?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Oh, I haven't thought about that either.
Speaker 1: I also don't want to refund anybody.
Speaker 2: No, but you know what the thing about that is.
Speaker 2: For the record, Well, I had a friend in high
Speaker 2: school who was obese and then got great shape and
Speaker 2: he was like the kindest to women, the funniest. And
Speaker 2: it's because even when he lost the w yes, he
Speaker 2: didn't become an asshole.
Speaker 3: I'll see talking about the thing aspect. I want to
Speaker 3: compliment that individual, right because I think when you go
Speaker 3: from no attention to a lot of attention despite what
Speaker 3: it is, So I'm not coming at noone. They could
Speaker 3: feel how they want to feel. It's the internet, but y'all,
Speaker 3: the three of us know what I'm talking about. Like,
Speaker 3: I commend those individuals because they going from having no
Speaker 3: attention to getting all of the attention. It's like the
Speaker 3: two things that show you who you truly are are
Speaker 3: getting acts to a lot of money, getting asks to
Speaker 3: a lot of alcohol in or drugs. Right, and then
Speaker 3: therefore we can change that. And I know you probably
Speaker 3: have something to say to that part. And I think
Speaker 3: that when you go from having no attention to a
Speaker 3: lot of attention, it's definitely commendable when you could still
Speaker 3: be a wonderful human being.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, I don't feel like we give enough
Speaker 1: credit to people who are like in these streets being kind, right.
Speaker 3: We don't. We truly don't.
Speaker 1: I feel like last podcast we gave a lot of
Speaker 1: credit to people who were just like being nice. Today
Speaker 1: we did, right. So sad that we live in a
Speaker 1: world where I fact like, if you're swinging good dick
Speaker 1: and you're still nice after that, I want to meet
Speaker 1: you and give you a gold star. So let's talk
Speaker 1: about this. Do you feel like you're in your head
Speaker 1: because you know so much, you have so much knowledge
Speaker 1: when it comes to this that do you kind of
Speaker 1: like mind fuck yourself when you're out in the world
Speaker 1: dating and trying to find a partner undred percent not.
Speaker 3: Gonna lie about it, one hundred percent when specifically when
Speaker 3: I'm in the bedroom and it's someone that I really
Speaker 3: care about, someone I like. I spoke about this on
Speaker 3: My Homegirl sham bou Duran's podcast. I've definitely had time
Speaker 3: to where I get in my head because I know
Speaker 3: how women look at men and judgment and don't have
Speaker 3: a lot of respect for us, and I know the
Speaker 3: statistics and all this stuff, and then me, I'm like, yo,
Speaker 3: I do want your body. I am I am man,
Speaker 3: I definitely want to have sex. I need to stop
Speaker 3: saying it, because women want to have sex as much
Speaker 3: as men do, and if not more. And I do
Speaker 3: get in my head because I want to. I do
Speaker 3: want to engage in this activity, but I don't want
Speaker 3: it to change the way you think I may feel
Speaker 3: about you.
Speaker 1: Okay, like once you hit then you're like disconnected.
Speaker 3: I don't want her to feel that way, but her
Speaker 3: history and or a capacit experience may tell her that.
Speaker 3: And then I get in my head overthinking it too much.
Speaker 1: Right, So when you hear chicks, like when you're getting
Speaker 1: to know a chick, are their little red flags that
Speaker 1: you're like, no, no, no, I can't even go there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean one that we all use, like we
Speaker 3: going to dinner day. And personally, if I were to
Speaker 3: do it first date, I would not want it to
Speaker 3: be a dinner day or a movie.
Speaker 1: But what would it be?
Speaker 3: So I live in Austin, I like, I like you
Speaker 3: to wear some jeans and your tea crop top. Be comfortable,
Speaker 3: really comfortable, cozy, got it comfortable cozy. We might take
Speaker 3: the scooters, we might go walk around the park. We
Speaker 3: might go grab a bite to eat. I might I
Speaker 3: might have someone to come out. If we're at the park,
Speaker 3: I might have someone bring out some wine, like a
Speaker 3: Butler style, just something really cool, like we're very chill.
Speaker 3: But then I got one of the homies dressed up
Speaker 3: in the tucks, right, some vibes like that, just something different.
Speaker 1: What was your question? I was asking, like, what when
Speaker 1: you're with someone getting to know her, Like what the
Speaker 1: red flags?
Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah, so one red flag that I think we
Speaker 3: all know depend on how you treat the white staff.
Speaker 3: I can't deal with that shit. No, Like in my personality,
Speaker 3: I'm very strong.
Speaker 1: Where are you from.
Speaker 3: I'm from Dallas, Okay.
Speaker 1: So you're Texas boys, So you have manners all right?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Well I lived all around the world and yeah,
Speaker 3: I think I got a little bit of everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're well rounded. But I just I find that
Speaker 1: I like men from Texas, not all of them, the
Speaker 1: ones I've encountered. They just I've found that there's something
Speaker 1: sweet in their soul. I don't know what their mamas did,
Speaker 1: but they did something right. I'm from Utah, so like
Speaker 1: it's a little different, but we got them Mormon roots,
Speaker 1: so we're like, we love that Father. I'm not Mormon,
Speaker 1: but we're like treat everyone the way you want to
Speaker 1: be treated.
Speaker 3: Utah and me being a sex coach, there's a lot
Speaker 3: of people with a trauma from purity purity culture.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's intense.
Speaker 3: A lot of trauma from that, which I don't think
Speaker 3: gets spoken about a lot.
Speaker 1: Well, that church will make sure it's not spoken about.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm here to fuck up.
Speaker 1: Fu shit up. That's the one thing raised in Utah.
Speaker 1: I was not raised Mormon. I had zero I want
Speaker 1: to say, like religion. I don't want to say that
Speaker 1: I had zero, but it was much more spiritual than anything, right,
Speaker 1: because I had my mom who was like raising a
Speaker 1: very Christian household. Were you raised Christian? Yes, I assume so, right,
Speaker 1: and then like very heavy on God in the Bible.
Speaker 1: And then my dad was raised Mormon. So I think
Speaker 1: they were both kind of scarred. But there is that
Speaker 1: thing in Utah where I'm sure a lot of people
Speaker 1: come to you and they have to deal with like
Speaker 1: the guilt that that church puts on them.
Speaker 3: That's I would say one of the top three reasons
Speaker 3: that I've seen that women have a hard time with orgasm.
Speaker 1: They feel like it's bad what ye oh oh, no,
Speaker 1: like shame. There's like a blockage. Oh no, honey, can
Speaker 1: I tell you yes? Because purity right, like I got that,
Speaker 1: I don't have that purity whatever. But like if I
Speaker 1: were living in Utah and I'm like, I don't drink,
Speaker 1: people are gonna be like, use a Mormon. But it's
Speaker 1: just I will burn your motherfucking house down if you
Speaker 1: give me a bod casda right now? Okay. But since
Speaker 1: I got sober, sex is different. I feel like a
Speaker 1: new person.
Speaker 3: That's what's up. I'm happy for your you know, I
Speaker 3: have a hard time watching uh porn now over like
Speaker 3: the last three, four, five, six months is because and
Speaker 3: it's only getting worse and worse because I'll be looking
Speaker 3: at these artists and I'm like, bro, you ain't hitting
Speaker 3: it right. I'm looking at the dude aspect right.
Speaker 1: Oh so you are upset about the way they're hitting it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like, bro, you ain't heitting it right now.
Speaker 3: She's doing her job, she acting of course. I'm like, hommy,
Speaker 3: like you teaching all these men to like like beat
Speaker 3: it up like a jack rabbit. Youah, like a jack
Speaker 3: rabbit when you're not.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's making love.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's bomb bomb rather than making the love you want? Yes,
Speaker 2: bringing it all back. Is this about sex?
Speaker 1: No, okay, it's all about love.
Speaker 3: It's all about self love self.
Speaker 1: Oh, this is going to be amazing to it. But
Speaker 1: if after I read this book, I just bagged me
Speaker 1: a man, and then I owe it all to you?
Speaker 2: Or maybe Mike, are you single?
Speaker 1: Wait? But you did go on a date with Meghan King? Right?
Speaker 3: Yes? Megan is?
Speaker 1: Yes, like she's great in the iHeart the iHeart Awards.
Speaker 3: Oh I thought you heart Megan too. I heart Megan? Yes.
Speaker 1: But it was music, Yes, I love that for you.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So the way that when I date for me, it's
Speaker 3: for myself. I do a three month checking right, So
Speaker 3: every three months I'm like, man, what have I done
Speaker 3: for her lately?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 3: Right, that's something I do for myself. And then it's
Speaker 3: just all about the energy. How does she make me feel?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 3: Is she making me grow?
Speaker 1: She?
Speaker 3: Is she putting me in check? Okay, so that she
Speaker 3: knows I've told her my goals. Does she put me
Speaker 3: in check when I'm falling off in a respectful way?
Speaker 3: Like I respect the way that she puts me in check? Right? Okay,
Speaker 3: these are things that I'm looking for you know, I
Speaker 3: mean besides I, of course all the other stuff, right,
Speaker 3: I don't look at it like is this the person?
Speaker 3: The one I look at it is this person and
Speaker 3: my loving art energy together, right, and my loving being
Speaker 3: with this person, and I loving having themost respect for
Speaker 3: this person, and I like those are type of those
Speaker 3: are things out of questioned, right. And then for myself,
Speaker 3: I'm like, yeoh, what have I done for this girl lately?
Speaker 1: So every three months you go through that.
Speaker 3: List, ain't like exactly three months. It's like a mental thing, right.
Speaker 1: Right, And then how long do you do that?
Speaker 3: That's the foreverything. Like if I'm married to you, for
Speaker 3: you for the next eighty three years, that's a continual thing.
Speaker 3: I always gotta date you. I always got to always
Speaker 3: gotta eat the cookie.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, you better be take your dentures out, give
Speaker 1: me a little gummage.
Speaker 3: You might like you might like that more honestly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course you wouldn't, because a lot of these dudes.
Speaker 3: Out here a little week that's a course coming soon.
Speaker 3: Oh you.
Speaker 1: It's like jaws out in these streets with people who
Speaker 1: don't know what the right not Jaws out in these
Speaker 1: streets breaks me out, get away. And also if your
Speaker 1: brethday and right, you're not going near my cookie.
Speaker 3: This is fact. But I gotta talk about the letty.
Speaker 3: So y'all can't just be coming on the entirety of men,
Speaker 3: like what about these dead bed when.
Speaker 1: The like starfish?
Speaker 3: Yeah, starfishing? Yeah, totally Like you can't be doing that either. Now,
Speaker 3: come on out, Okay, I didn't charge you up. What's
Speaker 3: going on?
Speaker 1: Let's move That is very true.
Speaker 3: So you know, it's things on both sides. Everybody can
Speaker 3: work on.
Speaker 1: Everyone can work on something. Absolutely, I love it. This
Speaker 1: was really fun. I enjoyed having you on. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much for joining me on my podcast. I can't
Speaker 1: wait to read your book, Making the Love you Want.
Speaker 2: Oh and where can we find you?
Speaker 1: Obviously? I know you plugged your website, but where is
Speaker 1: the website again?
Speaker 3: Just check out feelingscene dot com. The landing page is
Speaker 3: going to be refreshed very soon because when I made
Speaker 3: it I was a little inebriated, so therefore it be
Speaker 3: coming soon.
Speaker 2: And then your Instagram is at Mike Johnson.
Speaker 3: Mike Underscore Johnson, just Mike Johnson. You can find me
Speaker 3: on there. I'm like the only black dude on named
Speaker 3: Mike Johnson pop star.
Speaker 1: I actually had a best friend in high school who
Speaker 1: was blackman Mike Johnson. Oh so just saying, I.
Speaker 3: Mean, I'm sure you have. Michael Johnson is a very
Speaker 3: popular name, but at the same time, it is ida
Speaker 3: Mike Johnson.
Speaker 1: I love it, and thank you, my love for listening
Speaker 1: to another episode of You Give Them Mala podcast and
Speaker 1: I will catch you next week.