WEBVTT - The Bachelorette's Mike Johnson 0:00:06.000 --> 0:00:09.440 Hello, gorgeous, Welcome back to the Give Them La La Podcast. 0:00:09.880 --> 0:00:16.880 I am coming off of like the best week ever 0:00:17.680 --> 0:00:22.200 I took you. I know, rightoo. I took my kid 0:00:22.680 --> 0:00:27.560 to Disneyland last week with Jack's and Britts and Cruise 0:00:28.240 --> 0:00:32.640 and then Shina, Summer Moon and Brock. We did one 0:00:32.760 --> 0:00:35.680 ride for adults. We did like the you said you 0:00:35.720 --> 0:00:39.159 did the Incredit Coaster. Yes, in Credit Coaster, we did that. 0:00:39.440 --> 0:00:42.160 It was amazing. I just needed something. I was like, Okay, 0:00:42.200 --> 0:00:44.400 today's a kid's day. And by the way, Disneyland when 0:00:44.440 --> 0:00:48.760 you're there for your kid is like, it's just magical. Right. 0:00:49.400 --> 0:00:52.279 Ocean was having the best time. So that was the 0:00:52.280 --> 0:00:55.200 only like adult ride we did very early on in 0:00:55.240 --> 0:00:57.720 the day and then the rest of the time we 0:00:57.800 --> 0:01:01.520 just did like little kid rides. But we were literally 0:01:01.600 --> 0:01:07.080 there from like ten am to I want to say, 0:01:07.080 --> 0:01:08.360 like ten pm. 0:01:08.680 --> 0:01:10.800 And did the kids take naps during the day or 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:12.360 are they just going going going. 0:01:13.240 --> 0:01:16.920 Ocean got in one nap and then she was like 0:01:17.760 --> 0:01:22.920 ready to roll. And then Summer Moon and her parents 0:01:24.319 --> 0:01:27.360 left a little bit earlier than we did. But you know, 0:01:27.480 --> 0:01:29.720 Cruisy is also a little champ. You know, the kids 0:01:29.720 --> 0:01:35.160 are all champs, but they rallied, so that was amazing. 0:01:35.240 --> 0:01:40.040 I took full advantage this weekend of sleeping in. So 0:01:40.600 --> 0:01:44.600 what I started doing Jess is on the weekends, I 0:01:44.760 --> 0:01:49.160 sleep with my phone downstairs, because if I wake up 0:01:49.160 --> 0:01:51.440 in the morning and I check my phone and I 0:01:51.520 --> 0:01:54.280 see what time it is, it could be six in 0:01:54.320 --> 0:01:58.800 the morning, and already my body is going into time. 0:01:59.280 --> 0:02:02.960 Let's start getting up, getting into wake up mode, you know, 0:02:03.120 --> 0:02:07.040 like my anxiety starts kicking in and I know, like, okay, 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:08.359 it's it's morning time. 0:02:08.880 --> 0:02:12.800 Okay, that's interesting, So you don't So putting your phone 0:02:12.840 --> 0:02:15.360 downstairs allows you to sleep longer. 0:02:15.560 --> 0:02:17.520 I don't wake up to see what time it is, 0:02:17.560 --> 0:02:23.399 so I just wake up when my body feels ready, okay. 0:02:23.440 --> 0:02:25.200 And then do you get up or do you continue 0:02:25.200 --> 0:02:27.720 to try and sleep if like Ocean isn't up or. 0:02:28.000 --> 0:02:31.720 So Ocean has been doing this thing lately where she'll 0:02:31.840 --> 0:02:34.360 wake up. And again, I've been her mom for almost 0:02:34.360 --> 0:02:37.080 two years, so like, I know her little fusses and 0:02:37.120 --> 0:02:40.359 her little cries, and I can tell in the morning 0:02:40.440 --> 0:02:44.720 around like eight eight thirty, she's got this like fuss 0:02:45.200 --> 0:02:48.240 where I know she's not ready to get up. So 0:02:48.280 --> 0:02:53.279 She'll be awake doing her little fussing and then completely 0:02:53.280 --> 0:02:55.679 go silent until like ten. 0:02:56.240 --> 0:02:59.280 She is a champ with sleeping. She's like her mom 0:02:59.280 --> 0:03:02.440 and her geechie that, which is amazing because I mean, 0:03:02.880 --> 0:03:04.639 babies are growing, so they need sleep. 0:03:05.040 --> 0:03:07.120 Yeah. I also think it might be because I run 0:03:07.160 --> 0:03:08.440 her into the ground. 0:03:08.680 --> 0:03:12.280 You guys are constantly doing fun stuff at the park. Yeah, 0:03:12.320 --> 0:03:13.080 so that's probably like. 0:03:13.080 --> 0:03:15.800 We're constantly doing something where it's like we're going with 0:03:15.840 --> 0:03:18.200 your friends today, We're going to the park today, We're 0:03:18.240 --> 0:03:21.440 going to see Christmas lights today. Like it's non stop. 0:03:21.280 --> 0:03:24.000 And it's not like she goes to bed late because 0:03:24.040 --> 0:03:26.200 I've baby set her before. She goes to bed at 0:03:26.200 --> 0:03:28.320 like eight, yeah, eight thirty. 0:03:28.520 --> 0:03:31.840 So we all exercised our right to sleep in this weekend. 0:03:31.919 --> 0:03:32.560 I love that. 0:03:33.320 --> 0:03:37.560 Like literally Sunday morning, I woke up at noon stop 0:03:37.960 --> 0:03:40.680 and I thought it was like bright and early. So 0:03:40.720 --> 0:03:43.640 I'm like I walk downstairs, I look at the clock 0:03:43.720 --> 0:03:48.560 and I'm like, oh my gosh, it's eleven nine No, 0:03:49.760 --> 0:03:51.760 And I had to like talk myself off the ledge. 0:03:51.880 --> 0:03:54.440 What do you mean I felt guilty that I slept 0:03:54.440 --> 0:03:56.040 in stop? 0:03:56.200 --> 0:04:00.640 Your body needed rest, obviously, did you in was awake 0:04:00.680 --> 0:04:01.080 with Gigi. 0:04:01.120 --> 0:04:04.320 I'm assuming Ocean was awake kicking it with jij and 0:04:04.400 --> 0:04:06.080 she was ready to go down for her nap for 0:04:06.120 --> 0:04:06.480 the day. 0:04:06.720 --> 0:04:09.600 They let you sleep in. See that's so important. Your 0:04:09.640 --> 0:04:12.360 body obviously needed it. Yeah, and it's good you got 0:04:12.360 --> 0:04:13.000 that rat. 0:04:12.840 --> 0:04:15.880 Totally because I'm telling you, Disneyland kicked my ass. My 0:04:15.960 --> 0:04:18.920 body hasn't been that tired since I pushed Ocean out 0:04:18.960 --> 0:04:23.720 of my cookie. I was like, what happened? I am 0:04:23.839 --> 0:04:30.360 so tired? Yeah, yeah, And then so cut back to Friday, 0:04:30.600 --> 0:04:34.560 had a heyday. On Friday, the Utah Utes football team 0:04:35.200 --> 0:04:40.520 played USC in not a championship game, but it was 0:04:40.560 --> 0:04:44.080 a big game. It was going to determine if USC 0:04:44.240 --> 0:04:48.360 could go into winning a national championship or the utah 0:04:48.520 --> 0:04:51.800 Utes go on to the Rose Bowl the first Not 0:04:51.880 --> 0:04:53.839 that any of you care about this, but I grew 0:04:53.920 --> 0:04:56.919 up watching Utah football from the time I was like 0:04:57.000 --> 0:04:59.479 a tiny little tot. And I dressed Ocean in her 0:04:59.560 --> 0:05:03.320 little red sweater like she was very utah Utes, and 0:05:04.360 --> 0:05:06.960 the first quarter was horrendous. I was talking to my 0:05:07.040 --> 0:05:10.680 brothers on text and my sister in law, also huge 0:05:10.800 --> 0:05:14.560 Utah fans, being like, this is real fucking bad. Guess 0:05:14.960 --> 0:05:20.359 what during halftime, I don't know what happened, but the 0:05:20.520 --> 0:05:25.760 utah Utes fucking pulled it together and whooped that trojan ass. 0:05:25.839 --> 0:05:30.000 I was like, you better work, boys, That's amazing the 0:05:30.200 --> 0:05:31.480 utah Ute. 0:05:31.520 --> 0:05:36.239 So the mascot is Swoop. It represents the red tailed hawk, 0:05:36.440 --> 0:05:41.520 a bird indigenous to the state of Utah. Oh okay, yes, 0:05:41.960 --> 0:05:46.680 so that is the mascot. Our mascot is very sexy 0:05:47.440 --> 0:05:51.320 because sometimes he wears football uniform. So he looked good. 0:05:51.680 --> 0:05:52.479 He looked real good. 0:05:53.240 --> 0:05:56.000 Oh sorry, I was gonna say, with everyone at Brittany 0:05:56.000 --> 0:05:58.680 and Jack's Jackson's house rooting for. 0:05:58.920 --> 0:06:01.119 No, they didn't give two fun Okay. At my mom's 0:06:01.120 --> 0:06:05.160 birthday dinner, I volunteered Jacks and his home to host 0:06:05.440 --> 0:06:09.320 me to watch the game. And but towards the end 0:06:09.440 --> 0:06:11.880 everyone was getting into it. It was just Jackson, britt Me, 0:06:12.040 --> 0:06:16.479 my Mom, Ocean Cruisy, Janet and Jason and so towards 0:06:16.520 --> 0:06:19.120 the end, you know, the boys started getting into it 0:06:19.120 --> 0:06:21.800 because it was It was a really great game, and 0:06:21.839 --> 0:06:24.719 I loved watching it because I felt like I was 0:06:24.800 --> 0:06:27.400 back in Utah, like that's what I grew up on, 0:06:28.240 --> 0:06:31.480 Like football was shoved down my throat as a child, 0:06:31.520 --> 0:06:36.560 like Sundays were NFL Monday Night football, Thursday night football, 0:06:36.960 --> 0:06:40.800 Friday was high school football, Saturday was it was just 0:06:40.880 --> 0:06:43.240 a lot like it was NonStop, and my whole family 0:06:43.320 --> 0:06:46.320 was that way. So it felt amazing, especially to watch 0:06:46.360 --> 0:06:49.240 Ocean like, not that she cared about the game. Maybe 0:06:49.240 --> 0:06:51.520 it was just the running like something she was into 0:06:51.560 --> 0:06:55.400 that was happening. She was watching it, dancing, totally into it. 0:06:55.880 --> 0:06:59.760 So the University of Utah football team is going to 0:06:59.760 --> 0:07:03.040 the Rose Bowl in Pasadena. I'm getting tickets for the 0:07:03.080 --> 0:07:03.680 whole family. 0:07:03.960 --> 0:07:05.000 When is it. 0:07:05.000 --> 0:07:06.400 It's on January second. 0:07:06.960 --> 0:07:08.000 Oh, that's a great day. 0:07:08.400 --> 0:07:10.200 Great day. That's a great day. 0:07:10.200 --> 0:07:10.960 That's a Sunday. 0:07:11.360 --> 0:07:13.679 Is Monday? I think it's a Monday. Okay, well that's. 0:07:13.520 --> 0:07:16.880 A great day. Everyone's still on like it's twenty twenty three. 0:07:16.920 --> 0:07:19.200 But you're not like we got to get back to it. 0:07:19.680 --> 0:07:22.360 No, you're not quite there yet where it's like the 0:07:22.400 --> 0:07:25.080 grind starts again. So now I've got to go and 0:07:25.080 --> 0:07:27.920 get all of my family matching Utah gear. I'm just 0:07:28.040 --> 0:07:30.920 very excited. I'm very excited about it that my week 0:07:31.080 --> 0:07:34.680 was great and today's podcast is going to be lit 0:07:34.720 --> 0:07:37.640 af because I have a fawn. Look a man named 0:07:38.240 --> 0:07:43.200 Mike Johnson. Mike Johnson, he was on the Bachelorette. He 0:07:43.360 --> 0:07:48.400 is a US Air Force veteran, and he's also a 0:07:48.440 --> 0:07:50.880 sex coach, a sex coach, and an author. 0:07:51.200 --> 0:07:56.320 Yes, yay, let me say something. I had a lot 0:07:56.320 --> 0:07:59.760 of fun during this interview just watching you two. And 0:07:59.800 --> 0:08:02.600 you'll hear in the interview Lalla talk about where she's 0:08:02.600 --> 0:08:06.200 at in the state of like relationships and whatnot. But 0:08:06.360 --> 0:08:08.520 it was a lot of fun to watch Lalla and 0:08:08.600 --> 0:08:11.320 Mike chat because I think they have chemistry. 0:08:11.160 --> 0:08:12.480 And that's just fun to watch. 0:08:12.600 --> 0:08:15.040 That's just fun to watch. So I think you'll hear it. 0:08:15.120 --> 0:08:16.040 He'll be able to hear it. 0:08:16.320 --> 0:08:18.640 Yeah, we talk about a lot of stuff. He is 0:08:19.480 --> 0:08:23.480 very smart. And you know what, me talking about my relationship, 0:08:23.560 --> 0:08:25.560 I don't even know where I'm at right, Like I 0:08:25.680 --> 0:08:28.840 talk about it and I make zero sense. So you 0:08:28.880 --> 0:08:31.960 guys just roll with me, because I know you guys 0:08:32.200 --> 0:08:35.559 are going through similar things, Like I'm not the only 0:08:35.600 --> 0:08:38.160 one being like I don't know what the fuck is happening. 0:08:38.559 --> 0:08:41.640 No, people change their I mean I'm there and I 0:08:41.679 --> 0:08:44.600 feel like, not about my relationship, but just with things 0:08:44.600 --> 0:08:45.120 in general. 0:08:45.160 --> 0:08:45.520 In life. 0:08:45.600 --> 0:08:47.160 One day I'm like I feel this way, and the 0:08:47.200 --> 0:08:49.079 next day I'm like, I don't feel that way at all. 0:08:49.120 --> 0:08:51.720 It's yeah, we're all up and down and you have 0:08:51.800 --> 0:08:53.040 the right to feel that way. 0:08:53.440 --> 0:08:57.000 Just roll with it, you know, none of us. Anytime 0:08:57.080 --> 0:08:59.320 I hear someone say like I just thought i'd have 0:08:59.320 --> 0:09:02.760 my life figured out out by now, my love, we 0:09:02.880 --> 0:09:05.960 never have our lives figured out. And just like just 0:09:06.000 --> 0:09:08.680 when we think we do, life throws us the curveball 0:09:08.720 --> 0:09:11.280 to make sure like we're still awake. Just want to 0:09:11.280 --> 0:09:15.319 make sure you're still Brandon anyway. When we come back, 0:09:15.400 --> 0:09:22.480 We've got Mike Johnson and I'm excited. He's so hot. Hello, 0:09:22.600 --> 0:09:25.040 my loves, we are backed with Mike Johnson. You are 0:09:25.360 --> 0:09:26.040 very good looking. 0:09:26.120 --> 0:09:31.440 Good for you, you're good looking yourself. I am, yeah, definitely, 0:09:31.480 --> 0:09:32.240 you know that. Thank you. 0:09:32.520 --> 0:09:35.520 No, well, it depends on the day. The moments that 0:09:35.600 --> 0:09:37.520 we look like shit, those are called humbling moments. 0:09:37.840 --> 0:09:39.480 This is true. My mom loves to give me those 0:09:39.520 --> 0:09:40.160 humbling moments. 0:09:40.360 --> 0:09:43.760 Yes, those moments are good. So the first thing I 0:09:43.920 --> 0:09:46.200 have to ask, how the how did you end up 0:09:46.240 --> 0:09:47.040 on reality TV? 0:09:47.200 --> 0:09:47.240 Like? 0:09:47.360 --> 0:09:50.680 What made you say like the Bachelorette? That sounds right, Yeah, 0:09:50.679 --> 0:09:52.280 that's what you were on Bachelorette. 0:09:52.440 --> 0:09:54.800 Yeah, yeah, well one. I never even had heard of 0:09:54.840 --> 0:09:57.120 the Bachelorette, never watched the episode, and they know who 0:09:57.559 --> 0:10:00.360 no one was on the show. But I was, true story. 0:10:00.400 --> 0:10:03.200 I I was financial advisor, doing pretty good for myself 0:10:03.320 --> 0:10:05.800 at the military, and I threw my phone one day 0:10:05.920 --> 0:10:07.800 at work and my homeboy and my coworker was like, 0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:10.280 what the hell wrong with you? And I'm like, real story, 0:10:10.320 --> 0:10:12.880 I was like why, I'm like, these girls just want 0:10:12.880 --> 0:10:15.760 to have sex. And I was like, bro, I'm trying 0:10:15.800 --> 0:10:17.400 to get that I want. I want like the real thing. 0:10:17.840 --> 0:10:19.319 And I was telling my homeboy like I'm like, I 0:10:19.320 --> 0:10:21.400 think I was like twenty eight at the time, twenty nine. 0:10:21.800 --> 0:10:23.719 I was like, I wanted wife and kids, bruh. And 0:10:23.960 --> 0:10:26.839 he was laughing, Okay, he was dying laughing. He was like, 0:10:26.960 --> 0:10:29.360 what do that can actually get? Women says that? And 0:10:29.440 --> 0:10:31.679 I'm like me, I'm you know, I want the real 0:10:31.760 --> 0:10:34.720 thing or whatever, And so literally about forty five minutes 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:37.319 of him just talking about me laughing. A few weeks later, 0:10:37.400 --> 0:10:40.880 he sent me a Facebook message. Whoever goes on Facebook anyway, 0:10:41.080 --> 0:10:43.360 but he sent me a Facebook thing for a calling 0:10:43.679 --> 0:10:46.199 casting and I was off work that day, so I 0:10:46.280 --> 0:10:46.719 was like, why not? 0:10:47.280 --> 0:10:50.320 Really? Yeah, and you had never seen it before, never. 0:10:50.240 --> 0:10:53.480 Watched a single episode, never watched one second prior to 0:10:53.600 --> 0:10:54.000 that moment. 0:10:54.440 --> 0:10:57.960 How was that experience? Because I've been doing reality TV 0:10:58.080 --> 0:11:00.640 for a long time, the show you were on is 0:11:00.640 --> 0:11:04.280 a little bit different because number one, you're competing for 0:11:04.360 --> 0:11:06.079 the love of a woman, right. 0:11:06.480 --> 0:11:06.680 Yes. 0:11:07.240 --> 0:11:09.079 The other thing is is I feel like you guys 0:11:09.400 --> 0:11:12.800 are being filmed all the time, Like you're in one 0:11:12.960 --> 0:11:15.880 place and it's like cameras are up, you're constantly miked. 0:11:16.240 --> 0:11:18.960 That would freak me the fuck out, and really quick 0:11:19.000 --> 0:11:20.880 before you go into that experience, I did want to 0:11:20.920 --> 0:11:23.320 say because I had a girlfriend who made it pretty fast. 0:11:23.360 --> 0:11:26.240 She didn't get on the show, but I heard because 0:11:26.280 --> 0:11:27.760 this will tie into something you did. 0:11:27.840 --> 0:11:29.679 She made it far in the audition process, yes, but 0:11:29.800 --> 0:11:30.520 didn't get to that. 0:11:31.840 --> 0:11:33.839 They really get into your background. 0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:34.880 Is that true? 0:11:34.960 --> 0:11:37.319 Like they look into like your job and they like 0:11:37.559 --> 0:11:40.439 it's almost like a mini PI thing. 0:11:40.960 --> 0:11:42.080 I love this question. 0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:44.679 I don't really know how far they get into it 0:11:44.760 --> 0:11:46.880 for every single individual, because some people they find out 0:11:46.880 --> 0:11:49.000 the streets like damn you fine? Are you good looking? 0:11:49.000 --> 0:11:51.079 At wherever? The fris Be come on. And then for me, 0:11:51.440 --> 0:11:53.040 I did have to put my X on there. But 0:11:53.120 --> 0:11:54.920 I don't think they ever reached out to her because 0:11:54.920 --> 0:11:56.439 you know, she would have told my ass. You like 0:11:56.679 --> 0:11:58.280 they called me all of it. You know, she would 0:11:58.320 --> 0:12:00.680 be all that and my job. No one ever called 0:12:00.720 --> 0:12:03.439 my jobs either. I did have a five hundred and 0:12:03.480 --> 0:12:07.240 eighty three questions psychology test, so like, that part definitely 0:12:07.280 --> 0:12:08.719 is there, and you do. I mean, it is a 0:12:08.800 --> 0:12:10.840 full extensive background, but I don't know how in depth 0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:12.920 they go for every individual. Now, if you're crazy and 0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:14.240 you got some shit on your record, then. 0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:15.959 They might check you out more and then they'll find it. 0:12:16.240 --> 0:12:18.480 Yeah, I think that's what it's probably. I think I'm 0:12:18.559 --> 0:12:21.000 assuming that's what it's like because they can't probably go 0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:24.280 through every single individual, but if you got some let's say, stains, 0:12:24.320 --> 0:12:25.120 they might dig deeper. 0:12:25.640 --> 0:12:28.679 Okay, I like that, So my job's done there. I 0:12:28.880 --> 0:12:33.840 pass that. Good for you. I'm so wounded here I am. 0:12:34.440 --> 0:12:35.520 Let me you're fine. 0:12:35.520 --> 0:12:39.520 I'm gonna unload my baggage on deal. I Since my 0:12:39.640 --> 0:12:43.000 last relationship, I put a PI on everyone new that 0:12:43.080 --> 0:12:46.360 comes into my life who I'm like into in that. 0:12:46.440 --> 0:12:48.360 Way, what's the return on investment for that? 0:12:53.840 --> 0:12:56.160 But my job is done with you the Bachelor. I 0:12:56.320 --> 0:12:57.520 did it, That's what I'm saying. 0:12:57.559 --> 0:12:58.520 Oh yeah, no, I'm great. 0:12:58.800 --> 0:13:00.480 So I get to keep two thousand dollars. 0:13:00.760 --> 0:13:01.079 There you go. 0:13:01.240 --> 0:13:02.800 Two It's a lot. 0:13:02.920 --> 0:13:03.880 I just google your ass. 0:13:06.000 --> 0:13:09.240 There's all kind of weaki clean. I'm weakly clean. 0:13:09.360 --> 0:13:10.640 I mean I could see online you got a nice 0:13:10.679 --> 0:13:11.320 little ass on you. 0:13:12.800 --> 0:13:14.240 Tell me more. I took that picture. 0:13:14.320 --> 0:13:14.679 Thank you. 0:13:15.160 --> 0:13:18.040 I know everyone took this and somebody be like, she 0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:20.280 probably set it up on a tripod. I was like, 0:13:21.000 --> 0:13:23.680 I set it up on Jessica. I was like, can 0:13:23.720 --> 0:13:25.800 you take a picture of my ass? This could feel 0:13:25.960 --> 0:13:29.400 very wrong one day. She doesn't like me anymore. She 0:13:29.600 --> 0:13:31.400 made me take pictures of her naked. 0:13:32.240 --> 0:13:34.320 Fact, you gotta be careful about this stuff these days. 0:13:34.440 --> 0:13:36.400 I worry about it all the time. I'm like, Jessica, no, 0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:37.600 which is so funny. 0:13:37.800 --> 0:13:40.000 That's not even true, because she was questioning it, like 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:41.120 should I do this photo? 0:13:41.200 --> 0:13:41.560 It's dumb. 0:13:41.640 --> 0:13:43.839 I was like, get your ass in the shower. We're 0:13:43.960 --> 0:13:45.360 taking a nude photo. 0:13:46.240 --> 0:13:49.600 That's something that dudes just can't do. Like my homeboys, like, hey, bro, 0:13:49.720 --> 0:13:51.920 you look you've been working out, like, I see you 0:13:52.000 --> 0:13:55.640 dig man like dudes can't do that. You just don't 0:13:55.720 --> 0:13:56.240 work the same. 0:13:56.559 --> 0:13:57.439 No, it does not. 0:13:58.160 --> 0:13:58.560 I'm like, what. 0:14:00.320 --> 0:14:00.439 To me? 0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:04.160 Right, So you really wanted to find love? Your fine 0:14:04.160 --> 0:14:06.320 ass was like, I want to be married with kids, 0:14:06.360 --> 0:14:09.839 which in my experience doesn't happen often. 0:14:10.080 --> 0:14:12.000 In my experience, a lot of women don't have respect 0:14:12.000 --> 0:14:13.480 for men because of the things that men have done. 0:14:13.600 --> 0:14:16.040 And I completely understand that I have respect your thoughts 0:14:16.080 --> 0:14:20.040 on that. I personally absolutely love the respect from others, and. 0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:22.400 So I feel that I love this for you. 0:14:22.880 --> 0:14:23.120 Thank you. 0:14:23.280 --> 0:14:25.320 Did you like the girl who was the bachelorette? 0:14:25.880 --> 0:14:26.320 She's cool? 0:14:26.520 --> 0:14:27.040 She was cool. 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:28.560 Yeah, she's definitely cool people. 0:14:28.440 --> 0:14:32.560 Hannah Brown, how far did you get with her? Well, 0:14:32.600 --> 0:14:34.600 I don't mean sexually, just like in the competition, I. 0:14:34.640 --> 0:14:39.920 Wasn't meaning sexually. Guy, this is years ago. I think 0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:42.600 I got sent home in sixth place. 0:14:43.320 --> 0:14:46.000 That's pretty good because how many dudes are there, like 0:14:46.080 --> 0:14:47.200 twenty initially it's like. 0:14:47.320 --> 0:14:49.560 Thirty, But I mean I don't consider that good. 0:14:49.680 --> 0:14:52.720 But yeah, yeah, you're kind of like me where I'm like, 0:14:52.800 --> 0:14:54.680 unless I won the sacond. 0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:56.800 Well, see, this is the thing about the Bachelor, though, 0:14:56.800 --> 0:14:59.400 it's like, it's not a competition to me in terms 0:14:59.440 --> 0:15:01.920 of like winning are losing, it's a competition, and cannot 0:15:02.480 --> 0:15:04.640 see myself with this person. If not, then I gotta leave. 0:15:05.120 --> 0:15:06.160 Did you leave on your own? 0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:07.400 No? She let me go. 0:15:07.760 --> 0:15:08.360 Oh, she let you go. 0:15:08.680 --> 0:15:09.280 She definitely let me go. 0:15:09.360 --> 0:15:10.960 Do you think she let you go because she could 0:15:11.000 --> 0:15:13.800 feel that like it just wasn't hitting right for both 0:15:13.840 --> 0:15:14.000 of you? 0:15:14.640 --> 0:15:17.240 Yeah? Absolutely, yeah. I mean, this is the beautiful thing 0:15:17.280 --> 0:15:18.720 about being the lead in the show like that is 0:15:18.760 --> 0:15:20.760 that you this is the one time you truly can 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:23.600 be selfish and can't nobody say shit. Yeah, like, hey, 0:15:23.880 --> 0:15:25.720 I think you're a great individual. But you might not 0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:27.120 be for me, but you might be for La La, 0:15:27.200 --> 0:15:28.400 or you might be for Jessica, you might be for 0:15:28.480 --> 0:15:28.920 someone else. 0:15:29.080 --> 0:15:31.760 Right. That would be so hard for me because if 0:15:31.800 --> 0:15:34.720 you put does the chick have any say in who 0:15:35.680 --> 0:15:36.160 the men are. 0:15:36.160 --> 0:15:36.400 Going to be? 0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:38.440 Like? Does she get to say these are the types I. 0:15:38.520 --> 0:15:40.760 Wish, I wish I would like if I was to 0:15:40.840 --> 0:15:43.080 be the lead, I would like, Yo, if you want 0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:46.360 a good drama show, bring these thirty women on and 0:15:46.400 --> 0:15:48.120 I'm like all of them right, Yeah, So then it 0:15:48.160 --> 0:15:49.280 would be really really. 0:15:49.240 --> 0:15:53.440 Interesting question on all like that that about you being 0:15:53.480 --> 0:15:56.480 the lead. I when I was googling you heard a 0:15:56.640 --> 0:16:00.400 rumor and read something where it said you were in 0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:04.200 the running to be the lead, I think after Hannah's season. 0:16:04.600 --> 0:16:07.240 But then they chose Peter Weber instead, which is funny 0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:09.160 because it's the only season I watch, and I think 0:16:09.200 --> 0:16:13.320 he's so fucking boring. No disrespect to Peter, but he's 0:16:13.360 --> 0:16:18.480 your homide name, Peter Webber. I loved the season, but 0:16:18.680 --> 0:16:20.640 I loved it going to be a Bachelor? 0:16:20.760 --> 0:16:21.880 Were you uh for? 0:16:22.000 --> 0:16:23.520 I answered, I want to give a caveat because you 0:16:23.560 --> 0:16:25.200 know how read it are and how people are on 0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:28.000 the internet. Mike still talking about this years later. One 0:16:28.400 --> 0:16:31.720 I was asked this question, Okay, but I was in 0:16:31.800 --> 0:16:34.480 the running. Yeah, and they chose Peter. Peter's a great guy. 0:16:34.800 --> 0:16:37.360 You're so diplomatic. He's a great guy. I'm like, fuck 0:16:37.440 --> 0:16:38.320 this mocking. 0:16:39.400 --> 0:16:42.320 I loved the season, but I did. I did love 0:16:42.400 --> 0:16:44.160 it because of the women. The women on that season 0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:47.160 were bomb. They were hilarious, they were fun, they were 0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:47.960 just entertaining. 0:16:48.080 --> 0:16:52.440 He does look a little snoozel, doesn't snooze. 0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:55.160 I mean, I will say if I were the lead, 0:16:55.680 --> 0:16:59.560 I think I'll bring definitely a different type of attribute 0:16:59.760 --> 0:17:02.200 to rule, Like what I mean, I think you're just 0:17:02.280 --> 0:17:03.240 looking at me like different. 0:17:03.720 --> 0:17:06.600 Well, yeah, the other leads you definitely hit different. You 0:17:06.680 --> 0:17:10.600 write sex books. You are a sex cold. The ladies 0:17:10.600 --> 0:17:12.680 are gonna be like, I need to get in the room. 0:17:14.760 --> 0:17:14.920 You know. 0:17:15.600 --> 0:17:17.280 Wait, are you writing in this book? You just gave 0:17:17.320 --> 0:17:20.680 me your book? Yeah, making the love you want? Yes, 0:17:20.880 --> 0:17:23.160 I can't wait to read this. Are you talking about 0:17:23.720 --> 0:17:24.760 what you like in this book? 0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:25.359 No? 0:17:25.720 --> 0:17:28.040 Because that could make things interesting if you're the bachelor, 0:17:28.080 --> 0:17:30.000 because all the tricks would be like, I know exactly 0:17:30.080 --> 0:17:32.840 what he wants. He wants a little salt and pepper 0:17:32.880 --> 0:17:37.280 shaker or whatever that called. What's it called? What is it? 0:17:39.480 --> 0:17:40.640 I don't grapefruit trick? 0:17:43.040 --> 0:17:46.200 Oh, back when I was like twenty three, love the 0:17:46.280 --> 0:17:48.960 grape fruit trick, A little vibrator on the balls. 0:17:50.160 --> 0:17:52.120 See you guys know, because. 0:17:53.720 --> 0:17:55.280 Oh pop, that was like twenty one. 0:17:55.400 --> 0:17:55.920 Hey, there you go. 0:17:56.040 --> 0:17:58.119 So what you're doing now being boring? 0:17:58.280 --> 0:17:59.720 Trust me? Why are you being boring? 0:18:00.400 --> 0:18:00.760 I don't know. 0:18:00.960 --> 0:18:04.160 You still got like a good seventy years of life left. 0:18:04.920 --> 0:18:07.280 Do you think stress fucks up your libido? And shit? 0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:10.440 I don't think I know Okay, well then that's the reason. 0:18:10.640 --> 0:18:11.760 There you go. We can work on that. 0:18:12.080 --> 0:18:14.479 I would love to because you are a sex coach, right, 0:18:14.560 --> 0:18:17.880 is that true? Yes, let's put you get into that. Yeah, 0:18:18.080 --> 0:18:20.720 let's break this down all right. You went from what 0:18:20.840 --> 0:18:23.920 you said, a financial advisor. Yes, so you're good with money. 0:18:23.960 --> 0:18:26.440 I love that you were in the air Force. Yes, 0:18:27.040 --> 0:18:28.600 thank you for what you've done for our country. 0:18:28.840 --> 0:18:29.840 Thank you for your appreciation. 0:18:30.359 --> 0:18:33.640 And then you were on the Bachelorette. Yes, you've done 0:18:33.680 --> 0:18:36.080 a lot. Your resume reads and we're all over the place, 0:18:36.119 --> 0:18:38.640 which I'm digging. So how did you get into being 0:18:38.760 --> 0:18:40.320 a sex coach. 0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:44.920 Multiply an individual as a certified sex coach. The reason 0:18:44.960 --> 0:18:47.879 I got into it was because I myself was molested 0:18:47.920 --> 0:18:51.840 as a child. Okay, one in four women are sexually 0:18:51.880 --> 0:18:54.560 assaulted and indoorb's one and six men are. And so 0:18:55.280 --> 0:18:56.840 I got three women. I care a lot about my 0:18:56.920 --> 0:18:59.159 mom's sister and grandma. So you add yourself. Let's say 0:18:59.160 --> 0:19:02.000 you're my fourth lady. One out for you. I have 0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:04.160 been sexual assaulting and so therefore growing up with women 0:19:04.680 --> 0:19:07.560 that kind of affected me. And then also when I 0:19:07.600 --> 0:19:09.960 was in the military, I was a victim's advocate the 0:19:10.080 --> 0:19:12.920 only male on the entire base, and then I will. 0:19:13.440 --> 0:19:15.399 My ex and I had a miscarriage and we stopped 0:19:15.440 --> 0:19:18.720 having sex, and I don't cheat, and so I was like, yo, brother, 0:19:18.800 --> 0:19:21.359 still horny was up, you know, And so I tried 0:19:21.400 --> 0:19:23.040 to I was trying to figure out and do all 0:19:23.119 --> 0:19:25.560 kinds of different things. And someone said go see a 0:19:25.600 --> 0:19:27.879 sex therapist. And my ex at the time, she was 0:19:27.920 --> 0:19:29.520 not with it. But then I got her a coerced 0:19:29.520 --> 0:19:31.159 her to do it, and she was with it. It 0:19:31.240 --> 0:19:33.960 didn't work, but after we broke up, I just wanted 0:19:34.000 --> 0:19:36.040 to learn more about I wanted to take away the 0:19:36.119 --> 0:19:38.200 nicheans that I have as a dumb ass man, and 0:19:38.280 --> 0:19:40.600 then also to just help other people. And then of 0:19:40.680 --> 0:19:42.040 course I want to be fantastic. 0:19:42.480 --> 0:19:46.560 I love all of these reasons. You have a lot 0:19:46.600 --> 0:19:48.440 of layers. I love this. 0:19:49.720 --> 0:19:54.480 Yeah, no, this is incredible question for you. Do you 0:19:54.600 --> 0:19:58.560 think every guy should eat the cookie? Have you heard 0:19:58.640 --> 0:19:59.800 that expression before? 0:20:00.080 --> 0:20:02.240 I mean I haven't heard the expression, but you can 0:20:02.320 --> 0:20:09.080 get you if a woman likes it, absolutely do I 0:20:09.280 --> 0:20:10.639 like to do it? You damn right, I do. 0:20:11.480 --> 0:20:16.120 That's good because if you ain't the cookie, you ain't 0:20:16.160 --> 0:20:19.120 hitting it right, all right? And when a man eats 0:20:19.200 --> 0:20:21.080 the cookie, there are no red flags. 0:20:21.240 --> 0:20:24.560 There are feelas you heard her saying, I ain't saying 0:20:24.600 --> 0:20:26.159 she said it. There you go. 0:20:26.560 --> 0:20:29.159 I'm the wedding already. Okay. Next question, do you have 0:20:29.200 --> 0:20:30.920 to go to school to be a sex Are you 0:20:31.040 --> 0:20:33.680 a sex therapist or do you call yourself a sex coach? 0:20:33.960 --> 0:20:35.600 And is there a different there's a difference. I'm not 0:20:35.640 --> 0:20:38.480 a sex therapist. Sex therapist focused on today and behind 0:20:38.520 --> 0:20:41.000 in the past, sex coach focused on today in the future. 0:20:41.920 --> 0:20:44.879 I am a certified sex coach. I'm also working on 0:20:44.960 --> 0:20:48.600 becoming a board certified sexologist. I'll have body simmer next year, 0:20:49.119 --> 0:20:53.200 a licensed contra practitioner, and then a practitioner of natural healing. 0:20:53.280 --> 0:20:54.800 I'll have all three of those by the end of 0:20:54.920 --> 0:20:57.200 next December. And so I'm still going to school for 0:20:57.280 --> 0:21:00.720 those things. Right now. It's a tons of work. Like 0:21:00.880 --> 0:21:03.359 it ain't like, hey, stick your penis here, you know, 0:21:03.440 --> 0:21:05.560 it's so much more work than that, because I have 0:21:05.680 --> 0:21:07.320 to in order for me to be great in bad 0:21:07.359 --> 0:21:10.240 one thing that I had to learn was how to receive, 0:21:10.560 --> 0:21:12.560 and for me individually, I'm just talking about myself. I 0:21:12.600 --> 0:21:13.919 had a hard time with that and so I had 0:21:13.920 --> 0:21:16.160 to do a lot of meditation, a lot of breathing work. 0:21:16.760 --> 0:21:19.480 Outside of just the physical act of sex, you have 0:21:19.600 --> 0:21:23.639 to understand the mind. And you know, they say if 0:21:23.680 --> 0:21:26.600 you can make someone mentally with then you can definitely 0:21:26.640 --> 0:21:27.760 have you know, if I can have your mind, then 0:21:27.760 --> 0:21:29.800 I can have your body. Right. That's I'm not agreeing 0:21:29.920 --> 0:21:32.000 or disagreeing with that. That's just something that some people say. 0:21:32.520 --> 0:21:34.520 And I need to know how the mind works as well. 0:21:34.920 --> 0:21:38.159 The mind body spirit connection. There's so many pieces into it. 0:21:38.240 --> 0:21:40.720 People just say, oh, sex, he knows how to fuck. 0:21:40.960 --> 0:21:44.000 It's like, yeah, I do, But there's so much more. 0:21:44.640 --> 0:21:47.080 There's so much more to that, so so much more. 0:21:47.400 --> 0:21:50.320 No, I agree, and men and women are so different 0:21:50.640 --> 0:21:55.200 because you can be great in bed, but if mentally 0:21:55.440 --> 0:21:58.480 like you're you don't have me, I'm not getting off. 0:21:58.600 --> 0:22:01.120 You agree, completely agree with you. But then also it's 0:22:01.200 --> 0:22:03.560 not just like I continue to harp on the act 0:22:03.640 --> 0:22:06.119 of the physical act, the core play, as I say, right, 0:22:06.400 --> 0:22:10.040 there's aftercare. That is a lie. It does so much 0:22:10.080 --> 0:22:12.480 for a connection, and so it could be as simple 0:22:12.480 --> 0:22:14.080 as let's say you my girl, and I'm just holding 0:22:14.119 --> 0:22:17.359 your belly, right, those simple things for a man to 0:22:17.480 --> 0:22:20.280 knowens just in comparison to just oh baby by busting 0:22:20.280 --> 0:22:21.160 and goes. 0:22:20.880 --> 0:22:23.440 Lay down right, Yeah, like throws a wet towelet you 0:22:23.640 --> 0:22:24.520 to clean yourself off. 0:22:25.200 --> 0:22:28.760 Sounds like personal experience you've had if anything. Okay, this 0:22:28.880 --> 0:22:31.400 is a tip for the Fellers right quick, like when 0:22:31.520 --> 0:22:34.720 you know when whatever happens, right, get warm up the towel. 0:22:35.600 --> 0:22:36.360 Warm up the towel. 0:22:36.480 --> 0:22:38.679 I warm up the towel. Bro It's so simple. 0:22:39.040 --> 0:22:42.639 It's so simple. Yeah, come on, there's two little things 0:22:42.720 --> 0:22:44.360 there by the faucet. 0:22:45.520 --> 0:22:48.840 Yeah, like giving them a damn coach's fucking easy. 0:22:49.200 --> 0:22:52.840 Right, So get into this aftercare more because I'm very 0:22:52.880 --> 0:22:55.160 and I've never heard of that before because usually it's 0:22:55.280 --> 0:22:59.160 like sex is over one when the guy has ejaculated. 0:22:59.320 --> 0:23:02.640 I love that you because like that it's ended when 0:23:02.680 --> 0:23:06.120 the guy has well because usually they respectfully they get 0:23:06.200 --> 0:23:09.159 you off first, like like with Kyle, it's always never 0:23:09.280 --> 0:23:10.399 happens to me ever and. 0:23:11.440 --> 0:23:13.080 Ever who Kyle is your guy. 0:23:17.440 --> 0:23:20.000 I didn't realize that there were dudes out there that 0:23:20.200 --> 0:23:23.119 like also cared if if I was happy at the end. 0:23:23.560 --> 0:23:25.000 It was like once they were done, it was like 0:23:25.080 --> 0:23:29.960 that was great. Yeah, And I'm sitting here going I 0:23:30.080 --> 0:23:33.440 know it was great for you, but like the being 0:23:33.520 --> 0:23:34.320 in your bathroom for. 0:23:34.320 --> 0:23:37.040 A word, dumb ass guys. We can get off very 0:23:37.160 --> 0:23:39.919 quickly right until you train yourself and then you can 0:23:40.000 --> 0:23:41.879 go like months without getting off. But then you to 0:23:42.080 --> 0:23:44.200 orgasm different than ejaculation, but we can get into that later. 0:23:44.680 --> 0:23:47.920 But after care, because you have first you have rising action, 0:23:48.359 --> 0:23:53.640 which is what happened before penetration. Then you have core play, 0:23:53.800 --> 0:23:56.720 and then you have aftercare or after play, and after 0:23:56.800 --> 0:24:01.240 play is super important. It builds up the intimacy. It 0:24:01.280 --> 0:24:04.400 feels a connection. It's the holding of each other. It's 0:24:04.440 --> 0:24:06.800 just talking and laughing and having fun, making fun of 0:24:06.840 --> 0:24:08.720 one another. Right, it's the fair a moments that you 0:24:08.800 --> 0:24:10.960 smell from each other. It's just being a moment with 0:24:11.000 --> 0:24:13.080 your person. Now, if you just like a sneaky link, 0:24:13.320 --> 0:24:14.480 then you might not want to be doing that. 0:24:15.400 --> 0:24:18.840 No, because I'm for sure getting a toad just so 0:24:18.960 --> 0:24:21.840 if you're doing that after you better throw me a 0:24:21.920 --> 0:24:24.240 warm tile and to clean myself off, like if you 0:24:24.320 --> 0:24:27.960 don't want, because like I can, definitely I'm the type 0:24:28.000 --> 0:24:30.639 of person where all I want is transparency. 0:24:31.440 --> 0:24:34.159 That's it, that's my right lunguage by the way, just being. 0:24:34.040 --> 0:24:38.080 Honest, right, So if I know that you and I 0:24:38.520 --> 0:24:42.080 like we're just fucking, my mind is not even gonna 0:24:42.119 --> 0:24:44.920 go anywhere else. I know what this is, right, Yeah, 0:24:45.280 --> 0:24:47.840 the second you start fucking with my mind. I'm a woman. 0:24:47.920 --> 0:24:51.080 I'm also thirty two years old. I've lived not a 0:24:51.160 --> 0:24:53.680 lot of life, but I've lived some life. I'm a mom, Like, 0:24:53.840 --> 0:24:56.480 I don't have time for that shit, right, So let's 0:24:56.520 --> 0:24:57.800 call it what it is. You don't need to do 0:24:57.920 --> 0:25:00.440 like the aftercare with me. I'm a grown up. I 0:25:00.480 --> 0:25:01.720 can take it. I can have fucks. 0:25:02.600 --> 0:25:05.359 I have fucks, so sure, I can have fucks. 0:25:05.560 --> 0:25:08.680 I can have fucks. I'm actually great at that. I'm 0:25:08.880 --> 0:25:14.040 great at separating that type of shit. Okay, but you're 0:25:14.080 --> 0:25:16.440 right about that in your book, I'll write that chapter 0:25:16.560 --> 0:25:16.800 for you. 0:25:17.680 --> 0:25:22.080 Do you enjoy though, Would you enjoy the aftercare? 0:25:22.280 --> 0:25:26.920 Aftercare is my favorite part because I'm not a cheater. 0:25:27.280 --> 0:25:29.640 Percentage of time that you have sex that you feel 0:25:29.640 --> 0:25:30.760 like you've had a orgasm? 0:25:34.040 --> 0:25:34.280 Low? 0:25:36.560 --> 0:25:40.240 Yeah, Okay, so that was like reverse flipped over to like, 0:25:40.280 --> 0:25:43.560 let's say ninety after care will still be your favorite part. 0:25:44.000 --> 0:25:44.320 I think. 0:25:44.359 --> 0:25:45.359 So that's awesome. 0:25:45.400 --> 0:25:45.560 To know. 0:25:45.720 --> 0:25:49.560 Yeah, thank you, I'm just learning. 0:25:50.240 --> 0:25:54.680 I just like those those moments with someone who I'm into, 0:25:55.640 --> 0:25:59.200 you know, like the sex is great even Like when 0:25:59.200 --> 0:26:01.000 I think about what I want in a partner, I 0:26:01.119 --> 0:26:02.520 know that looks are going to fade, and I know 0:26:02.600 --> 0:26:05.120 that sex as we get older is also going to fade. 0:26:05.160 --> 0:26:06.879 We're not going to be fucking like Jack Rabbits when 0:26:06.920 --> 0:26:07.920 we're like ninety seven. 0:26:09.040 --> 0:26:10.480 I know someone's gonna get mad at that I say this. 0:26:10.520 --> 0:26:13.000 I really don't care. Look black, doone crack? 0:26:15.160 --> 0:26:24.000 I know that from experience. Agreed with you. Yes, we 0:26:24.080 --> 0:26:31.840 all warn anly and fun places. Okay, So you think, 0:26:32.359 --> 0:26:34.879 like when you're dealing with someone who comes to you 0:26:34.920 --> 0:26:36.840 there like I need a sex coach. Where do you 0:26:36.960 --> 0:26:37.560 start with them? 0:26:38.200 --> 0:26:40.000 Lit's sit down and talk. What is it? 0:26:40.160 --> 0:26:42.040 Usually what they want? It depends on what they're coming 0:26:42.040 --> 0:26:43.000 to you for, right, depends on. 0:26:42.960 --> 0:26:44.760 What they're coming if it's an individual, if it's a 0:26:44.960 --> 0:26:48.520 couple of it depends on what's going on. Yeah, so 0:26:48.600 --> 0:26:52.879 a lot of people have this this thing with monogamy, right, 0:26:53.000 --> 0:26:59.480 but what in actuality happens is we're just we're serial 0:26:59.600 --> 0:27:02.520 monogamy in comparison to how what we say we want 0:27:02.800 --> 0:27:05.760 and how we judge other people for not being monogamous, 0:27:05.880 --> 0:27:08.320 but those that are monogamous are just serial monogamous for 0:27:08.359 --> 0:27:10.440 the most part, right, And I love what you said 0:27:10.480 --> 0:27:12.399 about Look, I'm a grown ass woman. Just give it 0:27:12.440 --> 0:27:13.879 to me straight, you know, what would you like? And 0:27:13.960 --> 0:27:15.159 then I can tell you that's what I like, so 0:27:15.240 --> 0:27:18.000 that therefore we can build boundaries and have consent, and 0:27:18.080 --> 0:27:21.200 then you have a wonderful thing going despite what side 0:27:21.240 --> 0:27:23.919 of the field that you lie on. And so when 0:27:23.960 --> 0:27:27.160 it comes to clients, which I don't have many clients 0:27:27.240 --> 0:27:30.879 one on one just because respectfully, time and money doesn't 0:27:31.000 --> 0:27:34.160 equate normally, you know, time per hour. And so that's 0:27:34.160 --> 0:27:36.760 why I'm working on Feelings Seen dot com, which is 0:27:36.880 --> 0:27:39.560 my newsletter that we're coming out with very soon to 0:27:39.600 --> 0:27:43.600 be able to help the masses, the masses at hand. 0:27:43.760 --> 0:27:47.440 And a big thing that the majority of the people 0:27:47.480 --> 0:27:49.119 that have signed up already have talked about is that 0:27:50.080 --> 0:27:52.120 they don't know how to communicate normally, as women don't 0:27:52.119 --> 0:27:54.359 know how to communicate to their man. Hey, babe, I 0:27:54.480 --> 0:27:56.320 love you, but you just haven't given me an orgasm 0:27:57.040 --> 0:28:01.760 in like five years, you know, And I'm like, damn 0:28:03.160 --> 0:28:08.080 you I just want to do to be like, bro, 0:28:08.240 --> 0:28:09.680 you should really listen to the things that I'm about 0:28:09.680 --> 0:28:12.160 to start talking about, Yes, seriously, but then also there's 0:28:12.200 --> 0:28:15.240 things that women could do better as well that guys 0:28:15.280 --> 0:28:18.119 have asked. And I mean it's just all kinds of 0:28:18.200 --> 0:28:19.520 things people have come to me and talk to me 0:28:19.560 --> 0:28:23.600 about privately. You would let your imagination for a while. 0:28:24.040 --> 0:28:26.480 Okay, Well, what is it usually with men that come 0:28:26.520 --> 0:28:29.800 to you about like or a couple? What is the 0:28:30.760 --> 0:28:33.440 man usually have to complain about with the chick. 0:28:33.640 --> 0:28:35.680 When it's a one on one setting. Normally it's a 0:28:35.800 --> 0:28:37.960 chick that comes in, it has the has something that 0:28:38.080 --> 0:28:42.840 she wants it to speak to. Or the times I've 0:28:42.880 --> 0:28:46.600 had men strictly come in without their lady is because 0:28:46.600 --> 0:28:48.600 they want to do better because it's something that's taken 0:28:48.600 --> 0:28:49.240 place already. 0:28:49.720 --> 0:28:50.960 Well, are they cheated or something? 0:28:51.560 --> 0:28:55.479 No, I've had times to where cheating has definitely occurred. Right, 0:28:55.680 --> 0:28:57.719 it's his number two reasons for infidel He's number two 0:28:57.720 --> 0:28:58.360 reasons for divorce. 0:28:58.760 --> 0:29:01.400 Might is the first being financial And so the first 0:29:01.520 --> 0:29:02.120 is financial? 0:29:04.280 --> 0:29:06.760 Have you not seen these tiktoks? Where again, I'm not 0:29:06.800 --> 0:29:09.840 condoning this, I'm just speaking about tiktoks to where women 0:29:09.920 --> 0:29:12.120 are like, yo, he's a billionaire, caught him cheating, but. 0:29:14.880 --> 0:29:18.040 You you showed me the one that says like he's 0:29:18.080 --> 0:29:20.560 got red flags but he like it goes down or eats. 0:29:23.760 --> 0:29:27.520 Yeah, I'm he's number two. Okay, numbers financially, you ain't 0:29:27.520 --> 0:29:30.520 got your money right, You're just not even in the game. 0:29:31.120 --> 0:29:33.400 You want to know what's so crazy is because I 0:29:33.480 --> 0:29:35.720 have the p I now like I look into financials 0:29:35.760 --> 0:29:37.960 before I even allow someone in. But let's just say, 0:29:38.040 --> 0:29:39.720 like I get into that. 0:29:39.800 --> 0:29:40.480 Was a double on time. 0:29:41.560 --> 0:29:47.000 If if I meet someone he's set financially, I'm set financially. 0:29:47.280 --> 0:29:48.600 Set financially, it just. 0:29:48.680 --> 0:29:50.520 Means we're paying our bills on time and we can 0:29:50.640 --> 0:29:53.240 live a comfortable life. I'm not looking for you to 0:29:53.360 --> 0:29:55.600 like get on private planes and take me. 0:29:55.760 --> 0:29:57.800 Yeah, I'm gonna go deep brand said Okay, Okay, So 0:29:57.960 --> 0:30:00.400 when I hear that, I call BS on it, because 0:30:00.720 --> 0:30:03.600 what is one's bills? Bills are completely different for every person. 0:30:03.680 --> 0:30:06.239 So what is give me a number to where you're like, hi, 0:30:06.320 --> 0:30:09.320 I can work with that twenty month, the honey cab month, 0:30:09.480 --> 0:30:11.520 Like what are we talking a million a month, a 0:30:11.560 --> 0:30:12.120 million a day? 0:30:12.560 --> 0:30:14.400 If you're spending a million a day, I think you're 0:30:14.440 --> 0:30:16.680 a fucking idiot, all right, I agree, And I don't 0:30:16.680 --> 0:30:19.960 even care. No, no, I can think of a million 0:30:20.040 --> 0:30:22.400 in one places for you to be spending that money. 0:30:22.520 --> 0:30:25.360 Like I live in Los Angeles. I'm looking like what's 0:30:25.440 --> 0:30:27.120 going on out here? Like you want to spend a 0:30:27.160 --> 0:30:29.160 million a day? I know exactly how you can spend 0:30:29.200 --> 0:30:31.320 that in a productive way. What do you need for 0:30:31.480 --> 0:30:34.240 a million dollars a day, million dollars a month? You're 0:30:34.280 --> 0:30:37.880 fucking crazy. I could go on a tangent about okay, 0:30:37.920 --> 0:30:39.480 so how much you won't even go there? What is it? 0:30:39.520 --> 0:30:43.000 What is a minimum like for you to feel comfortable? Like, okay, 0:30:43.200 --> 0:30:43.760 I'll let you in. 0:30:44.360 --> 0:30:46.000 It's hard for me to put a number on it 0:30:46.040 --> 0:30:48.160 because I think for me, it's I need you to 0:30:48.760 --> 0:30:50.800 have a car. I really don't care what your car 0:30:51.560 --> 0:30:54.280 is looking like you I need you to be driving 0:30:54.320 --> 0:30:57.000 with insurance and a driver's license. Like it's a bare minimum. 0:30:57.120 --> 0:30:57.680 How sad? 0:30:57.760 --> 0:30:58.920 The bar is very low? 0:31:00.600 --> 0:31:01.800 Is that? Come on? Now? 0:31:02.160 --> 0:31:04.959 I'm really being serious, Like, if you as long as 0:31:05.040 --> 0:31:08.320 we can, you're like pulled together. You got somewhere to live, 0:31:08.400 --> 0:31:11.040 You're paying your rent, or your mortgage on time, whatever 0:31:11.160 --> 0:31:13.080 credit card, your racketing. 0:31:13.040 --> 0:31:15.560 All right, cool, we could talk. 0:31:16.600 --> 0:31:18.720 Yeah, as long as you're as long as you're falling 0:31:18.760 --> 0:31:21.040 in line with what you're supposed to do financially, then 0:31:21.120 --> 0:31:23.960 like I can definitely handle all of that, right, because 0:31:24.000 --> 0:31:27.600 I've seen money come and go like that. So whatever, 0:31:28.120 --> 0:31:31.520 let's say we're hitting it off financially at the beginning, 0:31:31.960 --> 0:31:35.320 all is good and then shit changes, because I've seen 0:31:35.360 --> 0:31:39.360 that happen quickly. That would not be a reason for 0:31:39.560 --> 0:31:43.680 me to leave somebody again. I'm only going off of 0:31:44.400 --> 0:31:46.360 like how I grew up, Like my dad hit on 0:31:46.440 --> 0:31:48.320 hard times, my mom stepped up to the plate where 0:31:48.320 --> 0:31:52.680 their arguments, but it was not to the point where 0:31:52.720 --> 0:31:56.520 they like divorce was on the table. So for me, 0:31:56.720 --> 0:32:00.240 like you would catch me stripping right like to pay 0:32:00.280 --> 0:32:02.160 these bills and make sure that we were good. It's 0:32:02.200 --> 0:32:05.600 just who I am. You'll catch me on only fans fans, No, 0:32:05.760 --> 0:32:08.000 I don't. But if we were struggling, me and my man, 0:32:08.000 --> 0:32:09.920 I'd be like, I got you, babe, Like we're all. 0:32:10.000 --> 0:32:11.840 I got you, I got I do, I got. 0:32:14.160 --> 0:32:19.080 I Would you fucking cheat? You're done. We're never having 0:32:19.080 --> 0:32:22.000 another conversation we got kids. You can talk to my lawyer, like, 0:32:22.160 --> 0:32:27.640 you will never know for real, cheating done. I will 0:32:27.720 --> 0:32:28.520 never work through it. 0:32:28.640 --> 0:32:30.640 Let me ask you another question. Yes, so this is 0:32:30.680 --> 0:32:31.000 the question. 0:32:31.120 --> 0:32:33.040 Feel like I'm with a therapist right now with you. 0:32:34.840 --> 0:32:37.480 So how would you feel if you're a guy? Was like, babe, 0:32:37.800 --> 0:32:39.840 it's been a few years. I absolutely love everything you're doing. 0:32:39.920 --> 0:32:42.240 You're phenomenal. I don't I'll never cheat on you, but 0:32:42.280 --> 0:32:45.800 I want to have a conversation around cessential phenomenogamy. What 0:32:45.960 --> 0:32:48.400 is that Potential nomenogamy is to wear. 0:32:48.440 --> 0:32:49.560 Where the third party comes in. 0:32:50.080 --> 0:32:52.320 Yes, yeah, we can go with that term. 0:32:52.440 --> 0:32:54.560 Yeah, or an open relationship. 0:32:55.400 --> 0:32:56.960 Yeah, it's a bit different, but yeah, we'll go with that. 0:32:57.400 --> 0:33:00.840 For me personally, I would say with that comment like, 0:33:01.200 --> 0:33:03.080 I don't think you're happy at this point in time, 0:33:03.160 --> 0:33:05.120 and I think this relationship has run its course, and 0:33:05.120 --> 0:33:07.120 I wish you all the best. Thank you for talking 0:33:07.160 --> 0:33:09.880 to me before you went and cree, but like, I'm 0:33:09.920 --> 0:33:11.720 all good. I hope you can find someone who's willing 0:33:11.840 --> 0:33:14.000 to have threesomes with you, because I ain't it. 0:33:14.200 --> 0:33:17.080 No, it doesn't have three threesons, but fair, completely fair, Wait. 0:33:16.960 --> 0:33:18.360 What do you mean it doesn't have to be threesomes 0:33:18.400 --> 0:33:19.840 if you're the third party. 0:33:20.200 --> 0:33:21.880 That's why I said we'll go with your term, because 0:33:21.880 --> 0:33:23.480 I didn't want to get too far in detail into 0:33:23.520 --> 0:33:26.120 the definitions of it. But it could be you saying, hey, 0:33:26.160 --> 0:33:27.600 I want to go sleep with another dude every now 0:33:27.600 --> 0:33:28.880 and or another girl every now and then. 0:33:29.080 --> 0:33:29.600 I don't want that. 0:33:30.000 --> 0:33:33.720 That's perfectly fine. The reason I asked was because you 0:33:33.760 --> 0:33:37.960 were speaking about cheating and infidelity. And what I found 0:33:38.120 --> 0:33:40.920 via my research is that for the record, I don't 0:33:40.920 --> 0:33:44.800 condone it, don't condone it. But what I found via 0:33:44.880 --> 0:33:47.440 my research is that infidelity is because the truth is 0:33:47.520 --> 0:33:51.520 harder than the lie. Yeah, and so I find that 0:33:51.600 --> 0:33:53.560 a lot of people have a really hard time telling 0:33:53.640 --> 0:33:55.600 that truth, whatever that truth may be, and so that 0:33:55.680 --> 0:34:01.040 therefore they are cowardly and they go being male woman, 0:34:01.120 --> 0:34:04.880 whatever your gender is, and they seek pleasure outside of 0:34:04.920 --> 0:34:07.480 that relationship in comparison. That's why I follow that question 0:34:07.560 --> 0:34:09.200 that was saying, how would you feel about this? And 0:34:09.280 --> 0:34:12.320 you said that person's truth within their relationship with you, 0:34:12.400 --> 0:34:14.680 So therefore they'll be scared to bring that up to you, 0:34:14.719 --> 0:34:16.279 which is their truth, and they never lie to you 0:34:16.400 --> 0:34:18.000 or don't cheated on you, right. 0:34:17.960 --> 0:34:19.719 But if that's not, if I'm not interested in that, 0:34:19.880 --> 0:34:20.960 then we're on different paths. 0:34:21.120 --> 0:34:23.160 Correct. I agree with you, you know, there's nothing wrong 0:34:23.200 --> 0:34:25.160 with that, like cool, And. 0:34:25.239 --> 0:34:28.000 It's weird because I feel like there's conversations that have 0:34:28.160 --> 0:34:31.000 to be had with couples these days, just because there's 0:34:31.080 --> 0:34:34.040 so everything is so accessible on your phone, Like you're 0:34:34.120 --> 0:34:36.440 learning about Oh I could be enough thrupple or I 0:34:36.480 --> 0:34:39.560 could you know. I'm like, I'm like rated g over 0:34:39.640 --> 0:34:41.279 here right, like I I like on. 0:34:43.400 --> 0:34:43.440 You. 0:34:44.160 --> 0:34:47.840 I just like there's so many things out there sexually 0:34:48.000 --> 0:34:49.960 with however many people and how it works, and I'm like, 0:34:50.040 --> 0:34:52.040 this is too much. I don't like it. We all 0:34:52.120 --> 0:34:54.560 need to find God and that's just where we're at. 0:34:55.280 --> 0:35:01.640 But so for me, lying freaks me out because I 0:35:01.680 --> 0:35:04.320 don't want to keep up with the lie. And I 0:35:04.440 --> 0:35:08.280 also know that karma exists, so when I'm thinking about, okay, 0:35:08.480 --> 0:35:11.120 I the lie may be easier for me to tell 0:35:11.239 --> 0:35:13.920 right now, but at some point down the line, I'm 0:35:13.960 --> 0:35:16.040 gonna have to like pay for that. I'm gonna have 0:35:16.120 --> 0:35:19.600 to be held accountable. I agree that part freaks me out. 0:35:19.840 --> 0:35:21.919 And if it's not the person that has to hold 0:35:21.920 --> 0:35:26.160 you accountable. Someone will hold you accountable, whether it be something, 0:35:26.239 --> 0:35:27.880 will hold you accountable, agree you completely. 0:35:28.239 --> 0:35:30.480 So I just like to keep it one hundred and I. 0:35:31.680 --> 0:35:35.839 I haven't been in a really healthy partnership honestly since 0:35:35.880 --> 0:35:38.239 I was probably in high school with like my high 0:35:38.239 --> 0:35:42.760 school sweetheart. You tell me, Doc, I have no fucking idea. 0:35:43.239 --> 0:35:47.000 I'm attracting something real fucking limitics in these streets. I'm like, 0:35:48.160 --> 0:35:50.120 I feel like I do the work on myself, but 0:35:50.160 --> 0:35:53.279 I'm attracted in some weirdos, you know. 0:35:54.280 --> 0:35:57.720 From an outsider looking in. Here's the thing which pisses 0:35:57.800 --> 0:36:00.239 me off, but we won't go there. To me, I 0:36:00.280 --> 0:36:03.040 feel like she goes for the good, the good things 0:36:03.560 --> 0:36:05.080 like in her past relationship. 0:36:06.480 --> 0:36:07.440 I guess she. 0:36:07.600 --> 0:36:09.520 Goes for like she's like, yeah, I get maybe he's 0:36:09.560 --> 0:36:11.480 not the best looking, maybe he's not this, maybe he's 0:36:11.560 --> 0:36:13.560 not that, but he's gonna take care of my heart 0:36:13.600 --> 0:36:15.920 and soul. I can feel it. He's my best friend, 0:36:16.239 --> 0:36:18.080 and so that's why I'm gonna be with this person. 0:36:18.560 --> 0:36:21.239 And like it makes it pisses me off because I 0:36:21.280 --> 0:36:24.080 do feel like Laala goes for the good things, which 0:36:24.200 --> 0:36:27.160 for some reason in today's world, when you're looking for 0:36:27.239 --> 0:36:31.040 the good things or something, you find these people and 0:36:31.440 --> 0:36:34.400 they trick you. It's like when you're looking for the 0:36:34.480 --> 0:36:37.279 good things, that attracts you to the manipulators. And it's 0:36:37.360 --> 0:36:40.120 weird to say because like, I feel like I have 0:36:40.200 --> 0:36:41.759 a good guy. I've been with him for six years, 0:36:41.840 --> 0:36:43.680 like he's the greatest, but I also feel it's a 0:36:43.680 --> 0:36:46.160 shout out to Kyle, but I'm lucky, and I feel 0:36:46.200 --> 0:36:49.239 like she does go for that, like she's not necessarily 0:36:49.440 --> 0:36:51.399 from an outsider looking in the person that's gonna see 0:36:51.440 --> 0:36:53.759 hot guy and be like this is it. I don't 0:36:53.840 --> 0:36:57.120 care what I'm getting with this guy. She's gonna like 0:36:57.800 --> 0:37:00.919 get with someone and invite I went into her life 0:37:01.000 --> 0:37:03.239 if they're a good person or she feels they're a 0:37:03.280 --> 0:37:05.600 good person. So then when you find out they're not, 0:37:05.920 --> 0:37:08.200 that's what's infuriating. It's like, why are the people who 0:37:08.239 --> 0:37:11.080 are looking for the good things getting fucked over a lot? 0:37:11.360 --> 0:37:12.239 So I don't think it's on you. 0:37:12.560 --> 0:37:15.440 I really dont Does that make sense? 0:37:16.920 --> 0:37:19.120 Yeah? Why do you? Because when you attract people who 0:37:19.160 --> 0:37:21.440 are just like not great over and over again, you 0:37:21.560 --> 0:37:23.960 have to look at like, what is it about me 0:37:24.239 --> 0:37:29.200 that's allowing this type of person into my life, you know, 0:37:29.640 --> 0:37:32.919 and I'm the type where my guard is completely down 0:37:33.560 --> 0:37:35.759 when I meet new people. I'm not damaged that well, no, 0:37:35.840 --> 0:37:39.360 I'm damaged. But before it was like, let's do this, 0:37:40.200 --> 0:37:41.719 and then when you do me wrong is when the 0:37:41.760 --> 0:37:44.480 guard goes up. So I never allow myself to sit 0:37:44.520 --> 0:37:47.879 there and go When you earn things, then you get 0:37:48.000 --> 0:37:51.520 a part of me. I give it all, and then 0:37:51.920 --> 0:37:54.360 when you show me something that I don't like or 0:37:54.400 --> 0:37:57.560 you do me dirty, then it's like a very quick 0:37:57.680 --> 0:38:01.040 like I'm done, Like I feel so betrayed. That makes sense, 0:38:01.360 --> 0:38:01.960 completely made. 0:38:01.960 --> 0:38:03.120 Both of y'all make complete sense. 0:38:03.160 --> 0:38:06.879 I feel like this is your podcasting, but I'm taking 0:38:06.920 --> 0:38:08.880 advantage of the fact that you do what you do 0:38:09.200 --> 0:38:10.920 to fix me on this podcast. 0:38:11.880 --> 0:38:13.759 Well, we're gonna give that. We're gonna put the energy 0:38:13.800 --> 0:38:16.120 back in your seat. I'm just gonna say, what respond 0:38:16.160 --> 0:38:19.000 to what you said, Jessica, Yeah, my grandma'd be dating 0:38:19.000 --> 0:38:20.200 some ugly ass dudes too, so. 0:38:22.160 --> 0:38:24.040 Me and your grandma should go out and troll together. 0:38:24.840 --> 0:38:26.759 We anting I. 0:38:26.760 --> 0:38:28.719 Would be like, hey, why are you getting. 0:38:28.440 --> 0:38:30.040 It, ugliest dude? 0:38:30.239 --> 0:38:30.520 Come on? 0:38:30.840 --> 0:38:31.920 But she has her reasons. 0:38:32.040 --> 0:38:34.640 No, And you know, a dude gotta be like for 0:38:35.360 --> 0:38:37.399 I'm a straight mail, right, and so for a straight 0:38:37.480 --> 0:38:40.880 mail to talk about another man's looks, that man has 0:38:40.920 --> 0:38:46.040 to be extremely uly or extremely good looking, Like, yeah, 0:38:46.160 --> 0:38:49.600 you can't just be like three to a eight. You 0:38:49.680 --> 0:38:51.239 gotta be like on the extreme side. 0:38:51.440 --> 0:38:56.000 Totally. That's very true. So she's dating some ugly but 0:38:56.160 --> 0:38:57.880 she's I bet she has her reasons. 0:38:58.040 --> 0:38:59.960 No, Is it because they're kind or funnier? 0:39:00.120 --> 0:39:00.400 Something? 0:39:01.320 --> 0:39:03.239 They are kind? Yeah, I appreciate the way that they 0:39:03.280 --> 0:39:05.239 treat her. Then I get to listen to I grew 0:39:05.320 --> 0:39:07.120 up with three women, of course, and so we got 0:39:07.160 --> 0:39:10.279 that woman trongness in the household. And I'm like, damn, 0:39:10.320 --> 0:39:11.520 this is how you'all feel about man? Okay? 0:39:12.120 --> 0:39:13.319 Can I tell you what I've learned? 0:39:13.920 --> 0:39:14.480 Yes? Please? 0:39:15.120 --> 0:39:18.640 Ugly men will do you the dirtiest, especially an ugly 0:39:18.719 --> 0:39:21.120 man who's come into like maybe like a little bit 0:39:21.160 --> 0:39:23.399 of money. Run. 0:39:25.680 --> 0:39:27.960 Is that the equivalent of a person that was once 0:39:28.080 --> 0:39:30.400 a beste that got in super shape? 0:39:31.640 --> 0:39:33.839 Is that the equivalent would you say, an ugly man 0:39:33.920 --> 0:39:34.600 coming into money? 0:39:35.000 --> 0:39:35.200 Yeah? 0:39:35.920 --> 0:39:39.000 I don't know. Oh, I haven't thought about that either. 0:39:39.400 --> 0:39:41.000 I also don't want to refund anybody. 0:39:42.320 --> 0:39:44.040 No, but you know what the thing about that is. 0:39:44.680 --> 0:39:47.520 For the record, Well, I had a friend in high 0:39:47.560 --> 0:39:50.800 school who was obese and then got great shape and 0:39:51.040 --> 0:39:55.400 he was like the kindest to women, the funniest. And 0:39:55.520 --> 0:39:57.640 it's because even when he lost the w yes, he 0:39:57.719 --> 0:39:58.720 didn't become an asshole. 0:39:58.760 --> 0:40:00.960 I'll see talking about the thing aspect. I want to 0:40:01.040 --> 0:40:04.279 compliment that individual, right because I think when you go 0:40:04.440 --> 0:40:07.239 from no attention to a lot of attention despite what 0:40:07.320 --> 0:40:08.560 it is, So I'm not coming at noone. They could 0:40:08.560 --> 0:40:11.160 feel how they want to feel. It's the internet, but y'all, 0:40:11.480 --> 0:40:12.840 the three of us know what I'm talking about. Like, 0:40:13.239 --> 0:40:15.360 I commend those individuals because they going from having no 0:40:15.480 --> 0:40:17.960 attention to getting all of the attention. It's like the 0:40:18.040 --> 0:40:20.120 two things that show you who you truly are are 0:40:20.320 --> 0:40:22.040 getting acts to a lot of money, getting asks to 0:40:22.080 --> 0:40:24.120 a lot of alcohol in or drugs. Right, and then 0:40:24.120 --> 0:40:26.160 therefore we can change that. And I know you probably 0:40:26.200 --> 0:40:27.960 have something to say to that part. And I think 0:40:28.040 --> 0:40:30.960 that when you go from having no attention to a 0:40:31.040 --> 0:40:34.279 lot of attention, it's definitely commendable when you could still 0:40:34.320 --> 0:40:35.560 be a wonderful human being. 0:40:37.160 --> 0:40:38.839 Yeah, I know, I don't feel like we give enough 0:40:38.880 --> 0:40:41.319 credit to people who are like in these streets being kind, right. 0:40:41.640 --> 0:40:42.680 We don't. We truly don't. 0:40:43.000 --> 0:40:44.840 I feel like last podcast we gave a lot of 0:40:44.880 --> 0:40:46.840 credit to people who were just like being nice. Today 0:40:46.920 --> 0:40:49.719 we did, right. So sad that we live in a 0:40:49.800 --> 0:40:53.719 world where I fact like, if you're swinging good dick 0:40:53.800 --> 0:40:56.960 and you're still nice after that, I want to meet 0:40:57.000 --> 0:40:59.920 you and give you a gold star. So let's talk 0:41:00.040 --> 0:41:03.319 about this. Do you feel like you're in your head 0:41:03.520 --> 0:41:05.840 because you know so much, you have so much knowledge 0:41:05.840 --> 0:41:08.360 when it comes to this that do you kind of 0:41:08.440 --> 0:41:10.959 like mind fuck yourself when you're out in the world 0:41:11.160 --> 0:41:13.880 dating and trying to find a partner undred percent not. 0:41:13.920 --> 0:41:16.759 Gonna lie about it, one hundred percent when specifically when 0:41:16.760 --> 0:41:18.120 I'm in the bedroom and it's someone that I really 0:41:18.160 --> 0:41:19.880 care about, someone I like. I spoke about this on 0:41:19.960 --> 0:41:23.719 My Homegirl sham bou Duran's podcast. I've definitely had time 0:41:23.760 --> 0:41:25.560 to where I get in my head because I know 0:41:25.640 --> 0:41:28.239 how women look at men and judgment and don't have 0:41:28.239 --> 0:41:29.759 a lot of respect for us, and I know the 0:41:29.800 --> 0:41:32.400 statistics and all this stuff, and then me, I'm like, yo, 0:41:32.480 --> 0:41:34.359 I do want your body. I am I am man, 0:41:34.719 --> 0:41:36.359 I definitely want to have sex. I need to stop 0:41:36.400 --> 0:41:37.920 saying it, because women want to have sex as much 0:41:37.920 --> 0:41:41.600 as men do, and if not more. And I do 0:41:41.719 --> 0:41:43.120 get in my head because I want to. I do 0:41:43.239 --> 0:41:46.239 want to engage in this activity, but I don't want 0:41:46.280 --> 0:41:48.640 it to change the way you think I may feel 0:41:48.640 --> 0:41:49.000 about you. 0:41:49.360 --> 0:41:52.239 Okay, like once you hit then you're like disconnected. 0:41:52.680 --> 0:41:54.799 I don't want her to feel that way, but her 0:41:55.040 --> 0:41:57.320 history and or a capacit experience may tell her that. 0:41:57.520 --> 0:42:00.399 And then I get in my head overthinking it too much. 0:42:00.719 --> 0:42:03.480 Right, So when you hear chicks, like when you're getting 0:42:03.520 --> 0:42:06.000 to know a chick, are their little red flags that 0:42:06.040 --> 0:42:07.839 you're like, no, no, no, I can't even go there. 0:42:08.120 --> 0:42:10.320 Yeah, I mean one that we all use, like we 0:42:10.440 --> 0:42:14.200 going to dinner day. And personally, if I were to 0:42:14.239 --> 0:42:15.480 do it first date, I would not want it to 0:42:15.480 --> 0:42:16.680 be a dinner day or a movie. 0:42:17.320 --> 0:42:18.160 But what would it be? 0:42:18.800 --> 0:42:21.360 So I live in Austin, I like, I like you 0:42:21.440 --> 0:42:23.800 to wear some jeans and your tea crop top. Be comfortable, 0:42:23.840 --> 0:42:27.480 really comfortable, cozy, got it comfortable cozy. We might take 0:42:27.480 --> 0:42:29.719 the scooters, we might go walk around the park. We 0:42:29.800 --> 0:42:32.840 might go grab a bite to eat. I might I 0:42:32.960 --> 0:42:34.680 might have someone to come out. If we're at the park, 0:42:34.719 --> 0:42:36.360 I might have someone bring out some wine, like a 0:42:36.440 --> 0:42:39.719 Butler style, just something really cool, like we're very chill. 0:42:39.760 --> 0:42:41.040 But then I got one of the homies dressed up 0:42:41.040 --> 0:42:47.480 in the tucks, right, some vibes like that, just something different. 0:42:47.840 --> 0:42:50.399 What was your question? I was asking, like, what when 0:42:50.440 --> 0:42:53.520 you're with someone getting to know her, Like what the 0:42:53.640 --> 0:42:54.160 red flags? 0:42:54.200 --> 0:42:55.800 Oh? Yeah, so one red flag that I think we 0:42:55.920 --> 0:42:58.960 all know depend on how you treat the white staff. 0:43:00.280 --> 0:43:03.200 I can't deal with that shit. No, Like in my personality, 0:43:03.800 --> 0:43:05.440 I'm very strong. 0:43:06.200 --> 0:43:06.839 Where are you from. 0:43:07.000 --> 0:43:08.320 I'm from Dallas, Okay. 0:43:08.440 --> 0:43:11.000 So you're Texas boys, So you have manners all right? 0:43:11.280 --> 0:43:13.560 Yeah? Well I lived all around the world and yeah, 0:43:13.560 --> 0:43:14.800 I think I got a little bit of everything. 0:43:15.080 --> 0:43:17.840 Yeah, you're well rounded. But I just I find that 0:43:18.320 --> 0:43:21.200 I like men from Texas, not all of them, the 0:43:21.280 --> 0:43:25.000 ones I've encountered. They just I've found that there's something 0:43:25.160 --> 0:43:27.200 sweet in their soul. I don't know what their mamas did, 0:43:27.280 --> 0:43:29.640 but they did something right. I'm from Utah, so like 0:43:30.200 --> 0:43:33.240 it's a little different, but we got them Mormon roots, 0:43:33.960 --> 0:43:36.680 so we're like, we love that Father. I'm not Mormon, 0:43:37.000 --> 0:43:39.800 but we're like treat everyone the way you want to 0:43:39.840 --> 0:43:40.240 be treated. 0:43:40.800 --> 0:43:42.600 Utah and me being a sex coach, there's a lot 0:43:42.640 --> 0:43:47.200 of people with a trauma from purity purity culture. 0:43:47.640 --> 0:43:48.680 Oh yeah, it's intense. 0:43:48.800 --> 0:43:50.560 A lot of trauma from that, which I don't think 0:43:50.640 --> 0:43:51.600 gets spoken about a lot. 0:43:52.160 --> 0:43:54.479 Well, that church will make sure it's not spoken about. 0:43:54.960 --> 0:43:57.080 Well, I'm here to fuck up. 0:43:57.520 --> 0:44:01.040 Fu shit up. That's the one thing raised in Utah. 0:44:01.120 --> 0:44:04.200 I was not raised Mormon. I had zero I want 0:44:04.239 --> 0:44:07.120 to say, like religion. I don't want to say that 0:44:07.160 --> 0:44:09.759 I had zero, but it was much more spiritual than anything, right, 0:44:10.239 --> 0:44:12.320 because I had my mom who was like raising a 0:44:12.440 --> 0:44:16.839 very Christian household. Were you raised Christian? Yes, I assume so, right, 0:44:18.640 --> 0:44:20.840 and then like very heavy on God in the Bible. 0:44:20.920 --> 0:44:22.839 And then my dad was raised Mormon. So I think 0:44:22.880 --> 0:44:25.920 they were both kind of scarred. But there is that 0:44:26.120 --> 0:44:27.839 thing in Utah where I'm sure a lot of people 0:44:27.920 --> 0:44:29.320 come to you and they have to deal with like 0:44:29.400 --> 0:44:31.040 the guilt that that church puts on them. 0:44:31.520 --> 0:44:34.040 That's I would say one of the top three reasons 0:44:34.080 --> 0:44:37.120 that I've seen that women have a hard time with orgasm. 0:44:37.520 --> 0:44:41.160 They feel like it's bad what ye oh oh, no, 0:44:41.840 --> 0:44:45.239 like shame. There's like a blockage. Oh no, honey, can 0:44:45.320 --> 0:44:48.520 I tell you yes? Because purity right, like I got that, 0:44:48.600 --> 0:44:51.279 I don't have that purity whatever. But like if I 0:44:51.320 --> 0:44:52.919 were living in Utah and I'm like, I don't drink, 0:44:52.920 --> 0:44:54.759 people are gonna be like, use a Mormon. But it's 0:44:54.800 --> 0:44:56.960 just I will burn your motherfucking house down if you 0:44:57.080 --> 0:45:00.919 give me a bod casda right now? Okay. But since 0:45:00.960 --> 0:45:05.400 I got sober, sex is different. I feel like a 0:45:05.480 --> 0:45:06.000 new person. 0:45:06.360 --> 0:45:09.200 That's what's up. I'm happy for your you know, I 0:45:09.320 --> 0:45:13.680 have a hard time watching uh porn now over like 0:45:13.680 --> 0:45:16.880 the last three, four, five, six months is because and 0:45:16.960 --> 0:45:20.040 it's only getting worse and worse because I'll be looking 0:45:20.080 --> 0:45:23.239 at these artists and I'm like, bro, you ain't hitting 0:45:23.239 --> 0:45:25.360 it right. I'm looking at the dude aspect right. 0:45:25.440 --> 0:45:28.080 Oh so you are upset about the way they're hitting it. 0:45:28.160 --> 0:45:29.400 Yeah, I'm like, bro, you ain't heitting it right now. 0:45:29.440 --> 0:45:31.960 She's doing her job, she acting of course. I'm like, hommy, 0:45:32.040 --> 0:45:36.399 like you teaching all these men to like like beat 0:45:36.440 --> 0:45:39.520 it up like a jack rabbit. Youah, like a jack 0:45:39.600 --> 0:45:40.279 rabbit when you're not. 0:45:40.480 --> 0:45:42.319 Yeah, it's making love. 0:45:42.920 --> 0:45:49.120 Yeah, it's bomb bomb rather than making the love you want? Yes, 0:45:49.480 --> 0:45:51.800 bringing it all back. Is this about sex? 0:45:52.160 --> 0:45:53.759 No, okay, it's all about love. 0:45:54.200 --> 0:45:56.200 It's all about self love self. 0:45:57.280 --> 0:45:59.200 Oh, this is going to be amazing to it. But 0:45:59.280 --> 0:46:01.239 if after I read this book, I just bagged me 0:46:01.280 --> 0:46:02.560 a man, and then I owe it all to you? 0:46:03.480 --> 0:46:04.800 Or maybe Mike, are you single? 0:46:05.440 --> 0:46:07.920 Wait? But you did go on a date with Meghan King? Right? 0:46:08.280 --> 0:46:09.239 Yes? Megan is? 0:46:09.440 --> 0:46:12.800 Yes, like she's great in the iHeart the iHeart Awards. 0:46:12.920 --> 0:46:17.799 Oh I thought you heart Megan too. I heart Megan? Yes. 0:46:18.440 --> 0:46:21.600 But it was music, Yes, I love that for you. 0:46:22.200 --> 0:46:22.399 Yeah. 0:46:22.960 --> 0:46:26.239 So the way that when I date for me, it's 0:46:26.640 --> 0:46:29.080 for myself. I do a three month checking right, So 0:46:30.040 --> 0:46:31.600 every three months I'm like, man, what have I done 0:46:31.640 --> 0:46:32.160 for her lately? 0:46:32.560 --> 0:46:32.840 Okay? 0:46:33.280 --> 0:46:35.759 Right, that's something I do for myself. And then it's 0:46:35.840 --> 0:46:37.839 just all about the energy. How does she make me feel? 0:46:38.960 --> 0:46:39.000 Like? 0:46:39.120 --> 0:46:39.919 Is she making me grow? 0:46:40.000 --> 0:46:40.040 She? 0:46:40.239 --> 0:46:42.600 Is she putting me in check? Okay, so that she 0:46:42.760 --> 0:46:44.320 knows I've told her my goals. Does she put me 0:46:44.360 --> 0:46:46.480 in check when I'm falling off in a respectful way? 0:46:46.520 --> 0:46:48.719 Like I respect the way that she puts me in check? Right? Okay, 0:46:48.840 --> 0:46:50.320 these are things that I'm looking for you know, I 0:46:50.360 --> 0:46:52.279 mean besides I, of course all the other stuff, right, 0:46:52.960 --> 0:46:54.399 I don't look at it like is this the person? 0:46:54.440 --> 0:46:56.520 The one I look at it is this person and 0:46:56.640 --> 0:46:59.160 my loving art energy together, right, and my loving being 0:46:59.200 --> 0:47:02.360 with this person, and I loving having themost respect for 0:47:02.440 --> 0:47:04.600 this person, and I like those are type of those 0:47:04.600 --> 0:47:06.680 are things out of questioned, right. And then for myself, 0:47:06.680 --> 0:47:08.319 I'm like, yeoh, what have I done for this girl lately? 0:47:08.680 --> 0:47:10.279 So every three months you go through that. 0:47:10.360 --> 0:47:13.359 List, ain't like exactly three months. It's like a mental thing, right. 0:47:13.600 --> 0:47:15.759 Right, And then how long do you do that? 0:47:16.480 --> 0:47:18.880 That's the foreverything. Like if I'm married to you, for 0:47:19.640 --> 0:47:22.880 you for the next eighty three years, that's a continual thing. 0:47:22.880 --> 0:47:24.439 I always gotta date you. I always got to always 0:47:24.440 --> 0:47:25.160 gotta eat the cookie. 0:47:25.239 --> 0:47:31.239 Right, Yeah, you better be take your dentures out, give 0:47:31.280 --> 0:47:32.080 me a little gummage. 0:47:32.440 --> 0:47:35.200 You might like you might like that more honestly. 0:47:35.880 --> 0:47:38.400 Yeah, of course you wouldn't, because a lot of these dudes. 0:47:38.280 --> 0:47:40.160 Out here a little week that's a course coming soon. 0:47:40.880 --> 0:47:41.400 Oh you. 0:47:41.520 --> 0:47:43.400 It's like jaws out in these streets with people who 0:47:43.440 --> 0:47:47.120 don't know what the right not Jaws out in these 0:47:47.120 --> 0:47:51.640 streets breaks me out, get away. And also if your 0:47:51.719 --> 0:47:54.280 brethday and right, you're not going near my cookie. 0:47:54.400 --> 0:47:55.879 This is fact. But I gotta talk about the letty. 0:47:55.920 --> 0:47:58.600 So y'all can't just be coming on the entirety of men, 0:47:58.840 --> 0:48:00.040 like what about these dead bed when. 0:48:02.040 --> 0:48:04.480 The like starfish? 0:48:04.600 --> 0:48:08.000 Yeah, starfishing? Yeah, totally Like you can't be doing that either. Now, 0:48:08.400 --> 0:48:11.560 come on out, Okay, I didn't charge you up. What's 0:48:11.560 --> 0:48:11.800 going on? 0:48:12.040 --> 0:48:13.480 Let's move That is very true. 0:48:13.680 --> 0:48:16.000 So you know, it's things on both sides. Everybody can 0:48:16.040 --> 0:48:16.239 work on. 0:48:16.560 --> 0:48:19.640 Everyone can work on something. Absolutely, I love it. This 0:48:19.880 --> 0:48:22.239 was really fun. I enjoyed having you on. Thank you 0:48:22.360 --> 0:48:24.359 so much for joining me on my podcast. I can't 0:48:24.400 --> 0:48:27.480 wait to read your book, Making the Love you Want. 0:48:28.719 --> 0:48:30.000 Oh and where can we find you? 0:48:30.600 --> 0:48:33.200 Obviously? I know you plugged your website, but where is 0:48:33.239 --> 0:48:34.040 the website again? 0:48:34.760 --> 0:48:37.719 Just check out feelingscene dot com. The landing page is 0:48:38.040 --> 0:48:41.080 going to be refreshed very soon because when I made 0:48:41.080 --> 0:48:43.520 it I was a little inebriated, so therefore it be 0:48:43.560 --> 0:48:44.000 coming soon. 0:48:45.480 --> 0:48:48.120 And then your Instagram is at Mike Johnson. 0:48:48.160 --> 0:48:50.719 Mike Underscore Johnson, just Mike Johnson. You can find me 0:48:50.760 --> 0:48:52.239 on there. I'm like the only black dude on named 0:48:52.280 --> 0:48:53.200 Mike Johnson pop star. 0:48:53.920 --> 0:48:55.640 I actually had a best friend in high school who 0:48:55.680 --> 0:49:00.520 was blackman Mike Johnson. Oh so just saying, I. 0:49:00.520 --> 0:49:02.480 Mean, I'm sure you have. Michael Johnson is a very 0:49:02.520 --> 0:49:05.040 popular name, but at the same time, it is ida 0:49:05.120 --> 0:49:05.640 Mike Johnson. 0:49:07.160 --> 0:49:09.040 I love it, and thank you, my love for listening 0:49:09.080 --> 0:49:11.160 to another episode of You Give Them Mala podcast and 0:49:11.200 --> 0:49:12.600 I will catch you next week.