WEBVTT - 7 Strategies to Stop Getting Drained by Your Problems & Focus on Possibilities 0:00:00.440 --> 0:00:03.360 I'm grateful for what I have, but I'm excited for 0:00:03.520 --> 0:00:07.440 what I'm growing for. There's this balanced approach. Notice how 0:00:07.680 --> 0:00:10.920 I'm not just putting forward the other extreme. Life isn't 0:00:10.960 --> 0:00:12.640 just about saying I'm at one extreme. How do I 0:00:12.640 --> 0:00:14.920 get to the other extreme? I'm negative, Let's get a positive. 0:00:15.040 --> 0:00:17.919 I'm not grateful, Let's be grateful. It doesn't work like that. 0:00:17.920 --> 0:00:22.119 That's too simple. The answer is far more gray. The 0:00:22.160 --> 0:00:24.040 answer is not black and white. The answer is not 0:00:24.079 --> 0:00:32.800 on one or the other side. Hey, everyone, welcome back 0:00:32.800 --> 0:00:35.800 to On Purpose, to number one health podcast in the world. 0:00:35.840 --> 0:00:37.919 Thanks to each and every one of you that come 0:00:38.000 --> 0:00:42.080 back every week to listen, learn and grow. Thank you 0:00:42.240 --> 0:00:46.600 so much for tuning in, turning up for your transformation. 0:00:47.040 --> 0:00:50.199 I am so so happy to get to spend this 0:00:50.280 --> 0:00:52.920 time with you every day, every week, multiple. 0:00:52.640 --> 0:00:53.559 Times a day maybe. 0:00:53.800 --> 0:00:55.560 And I want to thank all of you that have 0:00:55.640 --> 0:00:58.640 been leaving reviews. I'm always learning, I'm always trying to 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:01.880 improve with your feedback, always trying to make this better. 0:01:02.440 --> 0:01:07.120 And I'm so happy that we've always kept this absolutely free. 0:01:07.200 --> 0:01:10.240 The podcast has been free since day one. You have 0:01:10.400 --> 0:01:13.000 over four and a half year's worth of content. That's 0:01:13.000 --> 0:01:16.520 available makes you go back and listen to incredible episodes 0:01:16.560 --> 0:01:19.679 all the way back in twenty nineteen and just last week. 0:01:20.000 --> 0:01:22.480 So today I want to talk about something really important. 0:01:23.240 --> 0:01:26.240 And I think a lot of the time we've heard 0:01:26.280 --> 0:01:30.920 a lot about positive thinking. It's all about positivity, they say. 0:01:31.560 --> 0:01:34.640 And I think as time's gone on, we've all realized 0:01:35.200 --> 0:01:41.080 that positivity or positive thinking doesn't really work, because when 0:01:41.160 --> 0:01:44.520 we tell someone to be positive, what we're telling them 0:01:44.560 --> 0:01:48.800 to do is think good things right Just be positive, 0:01:48.920 --> 0:01:53.000 ignore the negative, Ignore what's wrong in your life right now. 0:01:53.560 --> 0:01:57.720 Don't accept your emotions or your feelings, don't acknowledge what 0:01:57.800 --> 0:02:01.440 you're going through. Just be positi So someone says to 0:02:01.480 --> 0:02:05.680 you like, oh, I'm really worried that I may not 0:02:05.800 --> 0:02:08.600 get this job. Oh, just be positive, you'll get it. 0:02:08.880 --> 0:02:11.359 And then it comes around and they didn't get their job, 0:02:11.360 --> 0:02:13.520 and they said, well, I was being positive. Why didn't 0:02:13.560 --> 0:02:15.920 I get it? The truth is, maybe there was feedback, 0:02:16.000 --> 0:02:18.120 maybe there was a lesson, maybe there was learning. Maybe 0:02:18.120 --> 0:02:20.560 that job wasn't right for them, Maybe they didn't try 0:02:20.600 --> 0:02:26.000 hard enough. Maybe they needed to understand their feeling of 0:02:26.120 --> 0:02:29.239 worry and know how to transform it and move away 0:02:29.240 --> 0:02:33.239 from anxiety. But telling someone to be positive doesn't get 0:02:33.240 --> 0:02:36.839 them the result they want, and it stops them from 0:02:36.880 --> 0:02:40.280 dealing with the emotion right, Telling someone to be positive 0:02:40.760 --> 0:02:43.960 doesn't get them the result, and it stops them from 0:02:44.040 --> 0:02:50.160 acknowledging how they're feeling. So I think toxic positivity has 0:02:50.200 --> 0:02:52.720 been around for a long time, and often people assume 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:57.440 if someone's telling you to think bigger or think more mindfully, 0:02:57.480 --> 0:03:00.600 than they're saying be positive. And I don't think that's 0:03:00.639 --> 0:03:02.720 the case. So I want you to know that today 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:05.880 I'm not telling you to be positive. I'm not trying 0:03:05.919 --> 0:03:08.000 you to just get you to think about the good 0:03:08.040 --> 0:03:11.000 things in life. That is not what I'm encouraging you 0:03:11.080 --> 0:03:13.639 to do, because I think there's a lot more to 0:03:13.720 --> 0:03:17.760 it than that simple statement. Now, there's three types of thinking, 0:03:17.960 --> 0:03:23.000 positive thinking, problem thinking, and possibility thinking. I want to 0:03:23.000 --> 0:03:26.079 talk to a bit about problem thinking, the opposite end. 0:03:26.160 --> 0:03:28.960 So if positivity is one extreme where you force yourself 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:31.240 to just be like everything's gonna work out, everything's gonna 0:03:31.240 --> 0:03:34.080 be great, everything's amazing, right, which it isn't. You have 0:03:34.120 --> 0:03:36.080 to do stuff, you have to work through stuff, you 0:03:36.080 --> 0:03:39.920 have to figure things out. The other extreme is problem thinking, 0:03:40.640 --> 0:03:43.600 everything's a problem, or I can never do that. That's 0:03:43.640 --> 0:03:48.080 never gonna work out. That's impossible, that won't work for me. 0:03:48.680 --> 0:03:51.800 I can't do it, It's not gonna happen. Right, we do 0:03:51.840 --> 0:03:55.280 the opposite. Just as we were blindly being positive, we're 0:03:55.280 --> 0:03:59.600 now blindly being negative. Just as we were being positive 0:03:59.640 --> 0:04:02.320 for the being positive, we're now being negative for the 0:04:02.360 --> 0:04:05.760 sake of being negative. Right, there was no basis, There 0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:09.080 was no evidence to our positivity, and now there's no 0:04:09.280 --> 0:04:12.920 evidence to our problems. We just keep pointing out the problems. 0:04:13.280 --> 0:04:15.800 Even if someone presents a solution, we find the one 0:04:15.880 --> 0:04:20.040 negative in that solution, and it just continues to go. 0:04:20.080 --> 0:04:21.200 Round and around and round. 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:26.440 So I want to present to you possibility thinking, right, 0:04:26.480 --> 0:04:32.800 the possibility mindset. This isn't imagination, this isn't delusion. Possibility 0:04:32.839 --> 0:04:37.440 mindset is saying, instead of being falsely positive, instead of 0:04:37.480 --> 0:04:42.840 being falsely negative or falsely problem looking or problem spotting, 0:04:43.680 --> 0:04:46.719 let me think in possibilities. Let me always look for 0:04:46.880 --> 0:04:50.760 possibilities instead of problems. Let me look for what could happen, 0:04:50.880 --> 0:04:52.919 what we could figure out. Let me look at what 0:04:53.480 --> 0:04:56.360 and how we could approach it differently, Let me look 0:04:56.520 --> 0:05:02.400 at what is possible. Let me look at the possible 0:05:02.560 --> 0:05:07.479 over the impossible. Let me look at what's probable instead 0:05:07.480 --> 0:05:12.640 of the impossible. Let me stop discounting or deflecting things 0:05:12.920 --> 0:05:15.960 as just being full of problems, and let me actually 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:19.440 find the way. Now, the way I want to address 0:05:19.480 --> 0:05:23.400 this is I want to share this with you as 0:05:23.440 --> 0:05:27.840 if you have a possibility mindset or a problem mindset. 0:05:28.360 --> 0:05:33.640 So if you have a problem mindset, you will believe 0:05:33.760 --> 0:05:37.080 there is only one way. We do this in our careers, 0:05:37.120 --> 0:05:39.039 we do this in our passions, we do this in 0:05:39.080 --> 0:05:42.279 our marriages, we do this in our relationships. If you're 0:05:42.320 --> 0:05:46.640 someone who believes there is only one way, it means 0:05:46.640 --> 0:05:50.440 we're stuck in problem mindset. We believe this is the 0:05:50.480 --> 0:05:53.120 only path, and if this path doesn't work for us, 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:55.440 then it will never work for us. We believe that 0:05:55.480 --> 0:05:57.560 this is the only job that will make us happy, 0:05:57.600 --> 0:05:59.640 and if we don't get this job, then we can't 0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:02.360 be happy. We believe that this is the only way 0:06:02.400 --> 0:06:04.120 we'll get to where we want to go to and 0:06:04.160 --> 0:06:06.280 if we don't go it this way, then it won't happen. 0:06:06.600 --> 0:06:09.000 If you are someone who believes there is only one 0:06:09.040 --> 0:06:11.440 way to get to where you want to go. You 0:06:11.520 --> 0:06:15.719 are living in problem mindset. Now, someone who's living in 0:06:15.760 --> 0:06:18.960 a possibility mindset will say, let me find another way. 0:06:19.040 --> 0:06:21.039 There must be another way. 0:06:21.120 --> 0:06:24.480 The back door, the trap door, the secret door, the 0:06:24.520 --> 0:06:28.480 revolving door. There are so many other doors than the 0:06:28.560 --> 0:06:34.600 front door. That is a possibility mindset. There's windows, right, 0:06:34.960 --> 0:06:37.440 there's cap flaps. I'm totally going off where you get 0:06:37.480 --> 0:06:41.320 the point. The idea is you want to train yourself 0:06:42.040 --> 0:06:47.080 to remember there's always another way, There's always another door, 0:06:47.520 --> 0:06:53.520 there's always another possibility. You have to look deeply search 0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:57.880 for that possibility. Thomas Edison once said, when you believe 0:06:58.000 --> 0:07:03.680 you've exhausted all options, remember this you haven't. I remember, 0:07:03.800 --> 0:07:06.280 at a certain point in my life I believed that 0:07:06.440 --> 0:07:10.360 the way to making a living was through having a job. Now, 0:07:10.400 --> 0:07:13.400 that's totally normal and totally fine, and there's nothing wrong 0:07:13.440 --> 0:07:16.720 with that, right, that's normal, and if you're successful at 0:07:16.760 --> 0:07:18.679 your job, things are going fine for you. That's actually 0:07:18.720 --> 0:07:23.560 an amazing way. But as someone who realized how insecure 0:07:23.680 --> 0:07:28.640 that was at times, I recognized that I needed to 0:07:28.760 --> 0:07:32.320 have multiple sources of income in order to be safe 0:07:32.600 --> 0:07:34.720 because I wasn't doing a job I loved or a 0:07:34.800 --> 0:07:38.960 job that I was doing, you know, propelling at and 0:07:39.000 --> 0:07:42.320 to me, this was a really really important learning that 0:07:42.360 --> 0:07:44.160 there was another way to live. 0:07:45.040 --> 0:07:45.160 Right. 0:07:45.200 --> 0:07:47.440 It never even occurred to me before that that you 0:07:47.480 --> 0:07:49.880 could have multiple revenue streams. So that was a way 0:07:49.920 --> 0:07:52.920 of living at one point in my life. As crazy 0:07:52.920 --> 0:07:55.840 as it sounds, I really didn't believe there were many jobs. 0:07:56.400 --> 0:07:58.840 In my head, you could only be in a couple 0:07:58.840 --> 0:08:00.600 of jobs, because everyone around tell me was in a 0:08:00.600 --> 0:08:03.040 couple of jobs. So I didn't even know you could 0:08:03.080 --> 0:08:06.720 be in media, or be in journalism or be in communications. 0:08:06.720 --> 0:08:11.200 I didn't know roles like that existed. It's fascinating to think, 0:08:11.240 --> 0:08:13.720 but it's true. I'm sure there are times in your 0:08:13.720 --> 0:08:16.040 life where you didn't believe there were certain types of 0:08:16.120 --> 0:08:18.560 music and you discovered a new type of music. And 0:08:18.680 --> 0:08:22.360 this is what it's all about, discovery. When we're living 0:08:22.440 --> 0:08:26.720 in a possibility mindset, we're allowing ourselves to discover, We're 0:08:26.760 --> 0:08:32.560 allowing ourselves to unravel reveal something. So I want you 0:08:32.600 --> 0:08:36.040 to think about where in your life have you developed 0:08:36.120 --> 0:08:39.800 a problem mindset where you look for the problems and 0:08:39.840 --> 0:08:41.439 you think, oh, this is the only way and it's 0:08:41.480 --> 0:08:45.520 not working. I've failed and how can you challenge yourself? 0:08:45.559 --> 0:08:49.520 How can you push yourself to actually look for the 0:08:49.559 --> 0:08:53.280 possibilities even when it seems like there are none. Right, 0:08:53.360 --> 0:08:56.200 remember those words of Thomas Edison. When you believe you've 0:08:56.240 --> 0:09:01.240 exhausted all options, remember this, you haven't. When you think 0:09:01.280 --> 0:09:03.720 you've exhausted all options, when you think you've been down 0:09:03.760 --> 0:09:06.480 every path, I promise you there's another one. If you 0:09:06.600 --> 0:09:10.600 really care about the goal, keep trying a new path. 0:09:11.200 --> 0:09:13.280 If you don't care about the goal, and change your goal. 0:09:13.480 --> 0:09:17.240 But if you care about the goal, keep finding a 0:09:17.360 --> 0:09:23.080 new path. Now, if you're living in a problem mindset, 0:09:23.440 --> 0:09:26.040 when you see a plan, when you see your goal, 0:09:26.720 --> 0:09:28.680 you actually just see a list of issues. 0:09:29.600 --> 0:09:29.760 Right. 0:09:29.800 --> 0:09:32.080 If you're living in a problem mindset, you're someone who, 0:09:32.160 --> 0:09:34.079 even though you have a goal, even though you have 0:09:34.320 --> 0:09:36.720 a habit, you want to build maybe of a physical goal, 0:09:36.760 --> 0:09:39.840 a mental goal, an emotional goal, a career goal. But 0:09:39.920 --> 0:09:42.240 all you do is you think, oh God, I got 0:09:42.280 --> 0:09:44.360 too much to do, Oh gosh I need to be there. 0:09:44.440 --> 0:09:45.720 Oh that's not going to happen. 0:09:45.800 --> 0:09:51.000 Right. Instead, someone with the possibility mindset will list out 0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:55.120 all the areas of growth. They'll list out the skills 0:09:55.120 --> 0:09:57.280 that they have in order to get there, and they'll 0:09:57.320 --> 0:10:00.160 list out the gaps as well. Notice how that that's 0:10:00.200 --> 0:10:03.400 a different mindset. There's a different mindset between listing the 0:10:03.520 --> 0:10:07.600 issues and listing the problems and then listing areas of growth. Now, 0:10:07.640 --> 0:10:09.760 this is what I wanted to do as a practical step. 0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:15.280 Make a list of everything you have ever achieved. Right, 0:10:15.320 --> 0:10:17.280 make a list of everything you've ever achieved. It could 0:10:17.320 --> 0:10:19.880 be the developing of a skill, it could be a qualification, 0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:22.000 it could be a degree, whatever it may be. It 0:10:22.040 --> 0:10:25.640 could be a job promotion. And ask yourself two questions. One, 0:10:25.720 --> 0:10:28.880 what are the skills that you developed or have that 0:10:29.000 --> 0:10:32.280 helped you get there? And second of all, was that 0:10:32.400 --> 0:10:34.959 a traditional route you took or did you take an 0:10:35.040 --> 0:10:39.160 untraditional route. The first question is important because you have 0:10:39.200 --> 0:10:41.240 to realize that you have skills in order to get 0:10:41.240 --> 0:10:43.160 to where you want to get to, and some of 0:10:43.160 --> 0:10:45.880 the problems that you're pursuing or some of the problems 0:10:45.920 --> 0:10:49.679 you're facing, you actually have the skills to solve those problems. 0:10:50.160 --> 0:10:53.200 You've actually done that before. And the second question is 0:10:53.240 --> 0:10:55.840 important to help you realize that often you may have 0:10:55.920 --> 0:10:58.480 done things in a slightly different way. You might have 0:10:58.559 --> 0:11:01.440 done things in a roundabout way. There is plenty of 0:11:01.520 --> 0:11:07.520 possibility that you approach things differently. And when I practice 0:11:07.520 --> 0:11:11.040 my possibility mindset, if I have a goal, I always 0:11:11.080 --> 0:11:13.719 look at it and go, okay, what would I need 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:14.160 to learn? 0:11:14.720 --> 0:11:17.640 Okay? What would I need to develop? Okay? Great? Where 0:11:17.640 --> 0:11:20.000 do I need to start? Right? 0:11:20.160 --> 0:11:21.760 Rather than looking at like, all right, this is going 0:11:21.800 --> 0:11:22.920 to get in the way, this is going to get 0:11:22.960 --> 0:11:24.839 in the way, I would say this is going to 0:11:24.880 --> 0:11:26.440 get in the way, but how do I create a 0:11:26.440 --> 0:11:27.160 plan around that? 0:11:27.760 --> 0:11:27.960 Right? 0:11:28.000 --> 0:11:32.199 That's the difference between possibility and positivity thinking. Positivity thinking 0:11:32.240 --> 0:11:34.440 is thinking, well, everything's going to go great, Everything's going 0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:38.120 to go to plan, there's no issues. Possibility thinking is yeah, 0:11:38.160 --> 0:11:42.360 I know that's a possibility, but how can I make 0:11:42.440 --> 0:11:44.040 it less of a probability? 0:11:44.840 --> 0:11:45.040 Right? 0:11:45.520 --> 0:11:49.400 That's what possibility thinking is. I know that's a possibility. 0:11:49.440 --> 0:11:52.200 I know it's possible that things could go wrong, But 0:11:52.280 --> 0:11:55.360 how do I reduce that probability and actually have a 0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:59.800 proactivity approach to solving it if and when it happens. 0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:05.720 That's a possibility mindset. This segment about possibility is brought 0:12:05.720 --> 0:12:08.600 to you by AT and T. AT and T believes 0:12:08.600 --> 0:12:12.920 connecting changes everything. Sometimes we're our own worst enemy and 0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:16.480 our own harshest critics, and this self doubt often prevents 0:12:16.559 --> 0:12:19.520 us from reaching our full potential. It doesn't just affect 0:12:19.600 --> 0:12:22.440 us individually, it can also hold back our teams and 0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:26.880 entire organizations. This is what we call default thinking. It's 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:29.120 when we get stuck in our usual ways of thinking, 0:12:29.240 --> 0:12:33.479 limiting our options, stifling creativity, and stopping us from exploring 0:12:33.559 --> 0:12:36.560 all the different ideas and opportunities that are out there. 0:12:36.960 --> 0:12:40.080 To open the door for more opportunities and possibilities, we 0:12:40.160 --> 0:12:44.520 need to shift from default thinking to scenario thinking. Scenario 0:12:44.600 --> 0:12:47.920 thinking simply means being able to think about multiple different 0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:51.160 possibilities at the same time and being ready to act 0:12:51.200 --> 0:12:54.760 when opportunities come our way. When you adopt this strategy, 0:12:54.880 --> 0:12:57.559 you start thinking what if instead of this is our 0:12:57.600 --> 0:13:01.200 only option or we don't have another choice. This change 0:13:01.200 --> 0:13:03.679 in how you think will gradually make you see things 0:13:03.679 --> 0:13:06.960 from a different perspective, one that's curious and open to 0:13:07.040 --> 0:13:10.720 new experiences. As you get used to this what if approach, 0:13:11.080 --> 0:13:14.160 you'll discover a whole world of options and solutions you 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:17.800 might not have seen before. This newfound flexibility can be 0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:20.800 the key to achieving great success in your personal and 0:13:20.840 --> 0:13:23.640 professional life because it equips you to deal with the 0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:27.600 ever changing challenges and opportunities that come your way. So 0:13:27.679 --> 0:13:30.280 how do you make this shift a scenario thinking and 0:13:30.360 --> 0:13:33.640 open up more possibilities. Here are a few practical steps. 0:13:34.160 --> 0:13:36.920 Don't let fear hold you back. Face your fears and 0:13:37.040 --> 0:13:40.440 doubts head on. Understand that fear can often stop you 0:13:40.480 --> 0:13:44.400 from exploring new ideas. By acknowledging and pushing past these fears, 0:13:44.640 --> 0:13:47.960 you can start thinking about different options without hesitation. 0:13:48.760 --> 0:13:49.000 Two. 0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:51.839 Think about what you want to achieve. Begin with a 0:13:51.920 --> 0:13:54.640 clear picture of what you want to accomplish. When you 0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:57.040 have a goal in mind, it's easier to explore different 0:13:57.040 --> 0:14:00.880 parts that can lead you there. Visualizing your success can 0:14:00.920 --> 0:14:02.440 motivate you to make changes. 0:14:03.080 --> 0:14:05.560 Three. Come up with different options. Actively. 0:14:05.600 --> 0:14:09.280 Brainstorm various possibilities, even ones that may seem a bit 0:14:09.360 --> 0:14:13.400 unusual or risky Initially. By considering a wide range of options, 0:14:13.440 --> 0:14:16.479 you increase your chances of finding creative solutions. 0:14:17.040 --> 0:14:17.319 Four. 0:14:17.760 --> 0:14:20.960 Identify and assess your stakeholders. Think about the people or 0:14:21.000 --> 0:14:23.760 groups who might be affected by your decisions or actions. 0:14:24.160 --> 0:14:27.080 Engage with them to get a variety of perspectives and feedback. 0:14:27.600 --> 0:14:31.240 This collaborative approach can help you make better, more informed choices. 0:14:31.800 --> 0:14:34.440 The next time you hit a roadblock, exercise those four 0:14:34.480 --> 0:14:37.680 ways to find more creative solutions for your next challenge. 0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:39.720 This has been brought to you by AT and T. 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:44.240 AT and T believes connecting inspires, unites, heals, and helps 0:14:44.320 --> 0:14:47.600 us grow. Connecting changes how we live our lives for 0:14:47.640 --> 0:14:48.080 the better. 0:14:48.480 --> 0:14:48.680 Now. 0:14:48.760 --> 0:14:54.880 Someone who's got a problem mindset relies on doing things 0:14:54.960 --> 0:14:59.520 in the mind alone, and someone in the possibility mindset 0:15:00.240 --> 0:15:03.920 realizes you have to take action. So what I mean 0:15:03.960 --> 0:15:05.880 by that is, if you're thinking about problems, you usually 0:15:05.920 --> 0:15:07.960 just think about them in your head and you go, yeah, 0:15:08.000 --> 0:15:09.560 that one work, that won't work, that won't work, and 0:15:09.600 --> 0:15:11.080 you're trying to figure it out in your head. It's 0:15:11.080 --> 0:15:14.680 almost like mental gymnastics or mental arithmetic. It's like trying 0:15:14.680 --> 0:15:16.600 to solve a math problem in your head when you're 0:15:16.600 --> 0:15:20.480 not that good at math, right, And so what's so 0:15:20.680 --> 0:15:23.000 interesting about that is you just keep going round around 0:15:23.040 --> 0:15:25.800 in circles in your mind trying to figure it out. 0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:27.480 Rather than just taking action. 0:15:27.640 --> 0:15:31.960 Again, it comes back to that proactive possibility mindset. How 0:15:32.000 --> 0:15:35.480 can we take action? How can we move forward. How 0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:39.280 can we just take one step? If you're struggling with 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:44.120 problem thinking, it's because you're being blocked to actually take 0:15:44.160 --> 0:15:47.520 a step. The step could be ordering a book. The 0:15:47.680 --> 0:15:50.040 step could be taking a class. The step could be 0:15:50.080 --> 0:15:53.040 doing a course. The step could be trying it once right, 0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:56.080 the step, the action doesn't have to be a big risk. 0:15:56.120 --> 0:15:58.480 It doesn't mean you have to take on a huge 0:15:58.520 --> 0:16:01.880 burden or carry a huge weight. It can truly be 0:16:02.040 --> 0:16:08.600 the simplest step forward. So the next one is the problem. 0:16:08.680 --> 0:16:13.560 Mindset says nothing is ever enough. We always forget that 0:16:13.600 --> 0:16:18.360 where we are today is somewhere we once probably dreamed of. Right, 0:16:18.400 --> 0:16:21.320 there are things that you have achieved today that once 0:16:21.400 --> 0:16:25.720 upon a time you are ambitious to pursue. There are 0:16:25.760 --> 0:16:30.320 things that you have attained today that at one point 0:16:30.360 --> 0:16:32.520 you can believe you could get to. It could have 0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:34.400 been a job, it could have been a partner, it 0:16:34.400 --> 0:16:38.120 could have been a financial position. Please, please please think 0:16:38.160 --> 0:16:40.880 about this for a second. But nothing is ever enough. 0:16:40.960 --> 0:16:46.120 It's always about what's next. That's problem thinking. Why, Because 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:49.680 if we're always wondering what's next, then even when we 0:16:49.720 --> 0:16:54.400 get to next will be lost in what's next. It 0:16:54.520 --> 0:16:58.520 just keeps going on and on, Whereas a possibility mindset says, 0:16:58.800 --> 0:17:01.840 I'm grateful for what I have, but I'm excited for 0:17:01.920 --> 0:17:05.600 what i'm growing for. Right, I'm grateful for what I have, 0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:09.000 but I'm excited for what i'm growing for. There's this 0:17:09.119 --> 0:17:12.560 balanced approach. Notice how I'm not just putting forward the 0:17:12.560 --> 0:17:15.879 other extreme. Life isn't just about saying I'm at one extreme. 0:17:15.920 --> 0:17:17.639 How do I get to the other extreme? I'm negative, 0:17:17.720 --> 0:17:20.240 Let's get a positive. I'm not grateful, let's be grateful. 0:17:20.440 --> 0:17:23.800 It doesn't work like that. That's too simple. The answer 0:17:23.840 --> 0:17:27.040 is far more gray. The answer is not black and white. 0:17:27.080 --> 0:17:28.960 The answer is not on one or the other side. 0:17:29.760 --> 0:17:35.119 So how can we really develop this mindset? The first 0:17:35.240 --> 0:17:37.800 is when you're grateful for what you have, you don't 0:17:37.800 --> 0:17:41.320 have to just be content. I think people mistake gratitude 0:17:41.359 --> 0:17:44.679 with saying I don't want more, Right, that's not what 0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:47.320 gratitude is. Gratitude is I appreciate where I am. I 0:17:47.359 --> 0:17:50.560 appreciate myself for half far I've come. If you're climbing 0:17:50.640 --> 0:17:52.480 up a mountain and half of the mountain you're like, 0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:55.440 I'm grateful to myself for getting half way up, You're 0:17:55.480 --> 0:17:57.560 going to get the energy. It's going to give you 0:17:57.600 --> 0:17:59.960 the boost you need to get the other half. Whereas 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:01.840 if you're looking at it going gosh, I've still got 0:18:01.880 --> 0:18:05.639 half left to go. I haven't achieved anything. Do you 0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:08.240 think that mindset's gonna help rather than the mindset of 0:18:08.280 --> 0:18:10.200 this is amazing, I'm doing great. 0:18:10.240 --> 0:18:12.320 All right, let's push forward. Right. 0:18:12.320 --> 0:18:16.560 You can either motivate yourself out of love and compassion 0:18:16.560 --> 0:18:19.679 and gratitude, or you can motivate yourself out of fear 0:18:19.840 --> 0:18:23.560 and anxiety. Now, fear and anxiety get you started, don't 0:18:23.640 --> 0:18:26.320 get me wrong. They work, but they don't get you far. 0:18:26.840 --> 0:18:29.480 Fear and anxiety will get you started, but they won't 0:18:29.520 --> 0:18:32.880 get you far, whereas love gratitude will get you far 0:18:32.960 --> 0:18:35.159 on the journey of life. If you can talk to 0:18:35.200 --> 0:18:38.240 yourself with compassion, talk to yourself with grace, talk to 0:18:38.240 --> 0:18:42.600 yourself with love, you'll actually be able to push forward. Now, 0:18:43.320 --> 0:18:45.359 this is where it really shows up, and you might 0:18:45.400 --> 0:18:46.879 see this more on your friends, but I want you 0:18:46.920 --> 0:18:49.760 to notice in yourself. If you have a problem mindset, 0:18:50.240 --> 0:18:54.040 you're likely to discourage others when others share their ideas, 0:18:54.080 --> 0:18:57.159 when others share their thoughts, you might be like a 0:18:57.280 --> 0:18:59.480 that's never gonna work. Oh yeah, did you hear so 0:18:59.600 --> 0:19:01.439 and so's starting an app or did you know that 0:19:01.440 --> 0:19:04.400 person started a podcast, or did you know that person's 0:19:04.480 --> 0:19:07.560 trying out something. You know, whatever it may be, we'll 0:19:07.560 --> 0:19:12.520 find another way to constantly make it feel like that's 0:19:12.520 --> 0:19:14.879 not gonna work. And I think we do that all 0:19:14.920 --> 0:19:17.800 the time. Sometimes we do it, sometimes our friends do it. 0:19:18.119 --> 0:19:22.359 We kind of discount what is possible for other people. 0:19:22.400 --> 0:19:26.400 We talk down on other people's dreams, We make other 0:19:26.440 --> 0:19:31.000 people's beliefs feel like they're not going to work, right. 0:19:32.240 --> 0:19:34.280 I think this happens a lot, and it happens to 0:19:34.359 --> 0:19:39.119 many many of us where we just don't realize how 0:19:40.400 --> 0:19:44.320 limiting we are of other people because we've developed a 0:19:44.400 --> 0:19:47.119 problem mindset. Or when your friend tells you an idea, 0:19:47.200 --> 0:19:48.840 instead of thinking about how it could be good, you 0:19:48.880 --> 0:19:50.720 think about all the problems do you think you're helping? 0:19:51.680 --> 0:19:54.159 And by the way, telling someone the challenges they may 0:19:54.200 --> 0:19:57.480 face is a good thing, But you're not also taking 0:19:57.520 --> 0:19:59.920 a moment to say, well, that could work, that could happen, 0:20:00.040 --> 0:20:00.560 what about this? 0:20:00.600 --> 0:20:01.200 What about that? 0:20:01.320 --> 0:20:03.439 And by the way, the reason I'm saying this is 0:20:03.520 --> 0:20:05.960 I remember pitching my ideas to so many people who 0:20:05.960 --> 0:20:08.800 wrote me off. And I've seen how easy it is 0:20:08.880 --> 0:20:11.440 to write other people off as well. It doesn't take 0:20:11.480 --> 0:20:14.160 a brain cell to write someone off, yet we all 0:20:14.200 --> 0:20:18.840 do it. So a problem mindset person discourages others, whereas 0:20:18.840 --> 0:20:23.480 a possibility mindset person talks about the possibilities. Hey have 0:20:23.560 --> 0:20:26.480 you thought about this possibility? Hey, have you thought about 0:20:26.480 --> 0:20:28.719 this possibility? By the way, this possibility may be an 0:20:28.720 --> 0:20:31.399 obstacle or a challenge, and this possibility may be a 0:20:31.440 --> 0:20:34.200 way out. Have you thought about it like this? You're 0:20:34.200 --> 0:20:35.960 not telling them to do it or not to do it. 0:20:36.000 --> 0:20:38.679 You're not also replying and just saying, oh, you're amazing, 0:20:38.760 --> 0:20:40.560 this is the best idea. I wish you all the best. 0:20:40.600 --> 0:20:42.240 It's going to be incredible. You don't want to lie 0:20:42.280 --> 0:20:45.800 to your friends either. But think about that for a second, 0:20:46.720 --> 0:20:52.080 right When and how can you help others as opposed 0:20:52.119 --> 0:20:58.439 to discourage others. That's the problem versus the possibility mindset. Now, 0:20:58.920 --> 0:21:03.879 this one's a huge one. The problem mindset doesn't choose 0:21:03.880 --> 0:21:09.200 their words carefully. It chooses words carelessly, and the possibility 0:21:09.240 --> 0:21:13.800 mindset chooses thoughts and words extremely carefully. Look at the 0:21:13.800 --> 0:21:16.679 difference between this. You can either say I can't do 0:21:16.840 --> 0:21:21.240 this right, or you can say how can I do this? 0:21:21.760 --> 0:21:25.160 You can either say it won't work or what can 0:21:25.200 --> 0:21:28.679 I do to make it work? Notice how you're not 0:21:28.720 --> 0:21:30.720 just saying I can make anything work, I can do 0:21:30.800 --> 0:21:33.159 anything right. You're not just lying to yourself and again 0:21:33.520 --> 0:21:37.920 using these very empty statements. You're actually twisting the thought 0:21:37.920 --> 0:21:40.600 into a question. So instead of I can't do this, 0:21:41.359 --> 0:21:44.679 asking yourself how can I do this? Instead of saying 0:21:44.880 --> 0:21:48.280 that won't work? What can I do to make it work? 0:21:48.400 --> 0:21:50.600 Notice how when you turn it into a question, you 0:21:50.640 --> 0:21:55.600 take responsibility for your journey. You take accountability for your journey. 0:21:55.640 --> 0:22:01.359 You take this purpose to do something about it. So 0:22:02.160 --> 0:22:03.600