1 00:00:02,360 --> 00:00:16,320 Speaker 1: Radio Radio Radio Mommies a Myth and Bullshit, a radio 2 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:22,880 Speaker 1: phonic novella Local Radio hosted by malamun Hi. Everyone, welcome 3 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:26,720 Speaker 1: back to local Radio. Thank you for tuning in and 4 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:30,440 Speaker 1: keeping Brown Girl time with us. We are really excited 5 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:36,160 Speaker 1: about cats because we have three really really special guests 6 00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:39,720 Speaker 1: here today, Um, three of our friends from the Mommy 7 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 1: Collective who are going to come and talk to us. 8 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:47,040 Speaker 1: And today we're serving mommy's and mitches. Yes. On our 9 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:51,800 Speaker 1: second copulo, we called it Mimosas. No, Yeah, Mimosas and mommies, 10 00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 1: but this is a nighttime get together, so we decided 11 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:59,279 Speaker 1: to call it Mommies and Mitches. And we're actually recording 12 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:04,880 Speaker 1: as shot Me Viva there on Avenue fifty two and York. Um. 13 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:07,440 Speaker 1: They're really dope their community space. I know, we shouted 14 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:10,160 Speaker 1: them out in our first capitulo. Uh, and we're so 15 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:13,959 Speaker 1: lucky that we're being the recording here today and that 16 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:17,200 Speaker 1: they're hosting us. So shout out to Um and Adriana 17 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:20,039 Speaker 1: from Shami Vita for holding it down for us. They 18 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:23,360 Speaker 1: have a really cute holiday set up right now. They 19 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:26,560 Speaker 1: have a ton of pins, ear rings, everything that you 20 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 1: want to give your loved ones, yeah and a beautiful yeah, yeah, yeah, 21 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,600 Speaker 1: and yeah, support the vendors who are selling here their 22 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:38,360 Speaker 1: original works. And also right now there's an incredible exhibition 23 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:40,360 Speaker 1: like the art that's up at the shop. It's it's 24 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:42,800 Speaker 1: here behind us, a bunch of different artists and their 25 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,959 Speaker 1: interpretations of Leavin and like really beautiful. So really come 26 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:48,760 Speaker 1: check it out. And we're just gonna jump into it. 27 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:50,960 Speaker 1: Our mommys and Mitzche's episode. So we want to start 28 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:54,960 Speaker 1: off and introduce the mommies that we have today, and 29 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 1: I guess we could just start with Marisa. If you 30 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:01,480 Speaker 1: want to enter, douce yourself, who you are, what do 31 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:04,639 Speaker 1: you do, what do you love? And what does mommy 32 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:08,200 Speaker 1: means to you? So, Hi, pleasure to be here. I'm 33 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:11,160 Speaker 1: just really excited for this pleasure to have known you 34 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:14,200 Speaker 1: all for like almost a year now, which is crazy, 35 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:17,519 Speaker 1: and it's been amazing. I've learned so much from these 36 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:19,639 Speaker 1: women and I'm so grateful to be in this space. 37 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:23,400 Speaker 1: Um So, like she said, my name is Marizza. I 38 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 1: what I do for work is I'm a social services coordinator. 39 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:32,200 Speaker 1: I work specifically providing services and resources for unaccompanied miners. 40 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,680 Speaker 1: Um So that's what I do for work what I 41 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 1: do outside of work, Yeah, you want to share with 42 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,440 Speaker 1: us outside of work, I try to get as involved 43 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:44,840 Speaker 1: as possible in the community. I'm fairly new to the 44 00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:48,080 Speaker 1: Los Angeles area. I grew up in Orange County. UM. 45 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:51,080 Speaker 1: I was born in Peru, moved to Orange County and 46 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:53,799 Speaker 1: young and you at a young age, UM. And now 47 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,959 Speaker 1: because of work, I moved to Los Angeles this past May, 48 00:02:57,040 --> 00:03:00,600 Speaker 1: and it's been an amazing experience. I feel like I 49 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:03,480 Speaker 1: was meant to grow up here, I was not meant 50 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:07,400 Speaker 1: to do up counting, and it's brought me closer to 51 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:09,440 Speaker 1: all of you. So, like I love, I love being 52 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,640 Speaker 1: in these spaces. I love that there's so much movement 53 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,560 Speaker 1: within their communities and so much going on. So I'm 54 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:17,440 Speaker 1: excited for that, UM and to continue to grow within 55 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 1: that UM. So what does mommy mean to me? For me, 56 00:03:21,639 --> 00:03:27,000 Speaker 1: it's been super fucking empowering, especially since getting to note 57 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 1: each one of you individually, UM. And like I was 58 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 1: talking about Diana earlier, I sent her a SELFIEO photo 59 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:40,120 Speaker 1: that I took of me wearing like like low cut 60 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:43,440 Speaker 1: liotar and like things like that I would have never 61 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,600 Speaker 1: honestly worn before. But I think after talking to her 62 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,680 Speaker 1: and after seeing all of you, to be honest, like 63 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,800 Speaker 1: be so comfortable in your bodies and loving yourselves just 64 00:03:51,960 --> 00:04:01,080 Speaker 1: so vividly like I've I've been thought time I love you, 65 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:03,600 Speaker 1: and I've been just so much more comfortable in my 66 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:05,920 Speaker 1: body as of the last few months and like just 67 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 1: really loving everything. And just before I was very cautious 68 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:15,960 Speaker 1: of what I wore and like how it looked, and 69 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:19,159 Speaker 1: so unconscious about about a lot of things. And now 70 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,440 Speaker 1: like I'm just more open, more out there, more like 71 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,400 Speaker 1: it's expressing myself and it's really been the form of 72 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:29,000 Speaker 1: empowering myself. And that's really something that I've gained from 73 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,719 Speaker 1: knowing me to one of you. Yes, I love that. 74 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:34,120 Speaker 1: Can I just say, as someone that saw the selfie 75 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:38,920 Speaker 1: that she said, yes, I am the other fm ak 76 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,920 Speaker 1: arianna Um. I don't think I've said my my name 77 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:45,920 Speaker 1: on here. So Manita sent me the selfie and she 78 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 1: was wearing this olive green leotard and her cleavage just 79 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:55,080 Speaker 1: looked Yes this is she sent me. Yes, I'm at 80 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:57,680 Speaker 1: the group chat. Didn't get the strang sending for the 81 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:07,640 Speaker 1: group chance, no tape involved, no tape involved, like her 82 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:12,120 Speaker 1: thighs or just like look at all delicious and brown 83 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,160 Speaker 1: and yes, so are you for sharing that with us, Monita, 84 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:19,719 Speaker 1: And that picture was great. I'm proud of that selfie 85 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:24,200 Speaker 1: like for you, like I'm proud for you, beautiful. Um okay, 86 00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:26,880 Speaker 1: So we would also like to introduce the other two 87 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: mommies that are here. So cool. Hi. Everyone, my name 88 00:05:32,279 --> 00:05:36,440 Speaker 1: is Cattle. I'm the nerdy, petty brown girl. You also 89 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:41,239 Speaker 1: may know as the Apple bus. I like books, bikes, 90 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:45,160 Speaker 1: and hip hop and petty memes. Who I am? UM, 91 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,160 Speaker 1: A little bit about me. I'm in graduate school and 92 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,560 Speaker 1: urban planning. I know some folks have reached out to 93 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,559 Speaker 1: me and be like, hey, I do urban planning as well, 94 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,600 Speaker 1: So shout out to the women of color and urban 95 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 1: planning because that ship is white. And when I'm not 96 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,400 Speaker 1: doing that, I'm being nerdy. I also work at a 97 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,919 Speaker 1: research center, so I read a lot and I do 98 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,920 Speaker 1: work on regional equity and like social movements and how 99 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:10,560 Speaker 1: really like hard data can be used to advance social movements. Yes, 100 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 1: that's nerdy as fuck. Um so yeah, And when I'm 101 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,320 Speaker 1: not doing that, I'm talking ship with the mommies on 102 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:21,039 Speaker 1: a group chat group chat, which is so important. I 103 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:23,839 Speaker 1: think talking ship can also be fucking political and healing. 104 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:28,360 Speaker 1: We're not being a fucking dick about it to people, Um, 105 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:31,200 Speaker 1: what does mommy mean to me? I think it means resilience. 106 00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:33,599 Speaker 1: Like all of the women in the quote unquote Mommy 107 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,599 Speaker 1: collective that we started through meeting each other, like have 108 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:40,760 Speaker 1: gone through some fucking ship, like a lot of fucking ship, 109 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,400 Speaker 1: and we go through ship every day. And I think 110 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,680 Speaker 1: that what's really powerful about the group chat or just 111 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:48,640 Speaker 1: our relationship is that we support each other unapologetically and unconditionally, 112 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,840 Speaker 1: like somebody's talking on your stuff, like let's go, let's go, 113 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:54,520 Speaker 1: like somebody's trying to swing. We're all taking off our moss. 114 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,960 Speaker 1: And I think that's very fucking powerful to have friendship 115 00:06:57,279 --> 00:07:00,520 Speaker 1: that is unconditional. And like, I'm a virgo oh and 116 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,359 Speaker 1: I also have a venus and Leo, so like I 117 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,800 Speaker 1: need my friends to love me and give me attention, 118 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,680 Speaker 1: and I suppose are my two pointers as well. And 119 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:10,240 Speaker 1: I love her and I love us because we do 120 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:12,360 Speaker 1: that for each other, right, no matter what the fucking 121 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 1: issue is, we back each other up. And I think 122 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,800 Speaker 1: that's very powerful as women of color to do that, 123 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:20,680 Speaker 1: especially in times where like being bad petty is also 124 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:25,559 Speaker 1: like fucking cool, which is unfortunate. Toxic petty, toxic petty, 125 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 1: toxic petty. Yes you heard of her here right here. 126 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:38,920 Speaker 1: Well hello everybody, My name is yes. Um, I am 127 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:45,160 Speaker 1: a poet, UM professional, ship talker, meme creator. Umh want 128 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:50,880 Speaker 1: to go whatever you want to go? I M yeah, 129 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:53,080 Speaker 1: like that's what I do. I write poems for a 130 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:56,440 Speaker 1: living and I tell them a lot to people. And UM, 131 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:59,400 Speaker 1: I've been blessed to be able to build community with 132 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:02,400 Speaker 1: my move and for me, what a mommy means is 133 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:07,160 Speaker 1: being unapologetic and taking up space, you know, um, especially 134 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:08,880 Speaker 1: like in the sorry yall, I'm a little sick so 135 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:12,360 Speaker 1: I started coughing, or you hear somebody in the background. 136 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:17,080 Speaker 1: Just it's just at the fact, okay. But um, what 137 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:20,040 Speaker 1: the mommys is just like having a platform can be 138 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:23,920 Speaker 1: really exhausting and being able to connect with other mohadas 139 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,000 Speaker 1: that are going through the same things as you and 140 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:28,640 Speaker 1: that know what that's like. And then without it sounding 141 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:31,120 Speaker 1: like ego, you know where we can um shout out 142 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:35,440 Speaker 1: to Prisca and who are not here, but he's kind 143 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:39,400 Speaker 1: of Latina Rebels and Raquel who is um an editor 144 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:42,720 Speaker 1: and writer for Latina Magazine and um so being able 145 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:44,240 Speaker 1: to talk with other women about whether it is to 146 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:47,280 Speaker 1: have a platform and how exhausting that could be. Sometimes 147 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:49,800 Speaker 1: it's like really really important for me. And also like 148 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:53,240 Speaker 1: these ladies are so empowering, Like like the other day, 149 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,120 Speaker 1: god I was saying she wasn't having like the greatest 150 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:58,280 Speaker 1: body positive day, and we're like, witch, we have receipts 151 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:03,199 Speaker 1: and we started sending out a picture when she looks 152 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,800 Speaker 1: and we're like, don't trying to play us or yourself. 153 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,680 Speaker 1: And so I just like that I'm part of a 154 00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:09,079 Speaker 1: group of women that are like that, and I get 155 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:12,120 Speaker 1: really really petty really fast. And I appreciate that I have, 156 00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:14,760 Speaker 1: like I mean, guys that will be down with my 157 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,760 Speaker 1: pennies no matter what I do, because sometimes other girls 158 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,600 Speaker 1: were trying to act like they're not about it with you, 159 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,280 Speaker 1: and then like they'd be stuff tweeting and ship like that. 160 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,559 Speaker 1: So the fact that I could, like, how ship to 161 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:27,200 Speaker 1: my it is I love that. That's funny. You know. 162 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:29,360 Speaker 1: One of my favorite things about the group chat, which 163 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:32,760 Speaker 1: I'm glad you brought up, Yessica, is that we will 164 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:36,160 Speaker 1: send each other like someone else's picture like that's in 165 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,680 Speaker 1: the group. For instance, like if so we just posted 166 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:41,240 Speaker 1: a z we just supposed to a picture that she's 167 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,719 Speaker 1: looking hell the bomb, we will send it to each 168 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:47,679 Speaker 1: other and everybody like damn, Mala, you look really great 169 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:51,760 Speaker 1: right now me and all that. So that's another aspect 170 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:54,199 Speaker 1: of our We found girl over each other. I think 171 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:57,120 Speaker 1: we're each other's biggest we are, which I really love. 172 00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,920 Speaker 1: And I actually really liked the idea of like ship 173 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:02,080 Speaker 1: talking as being like it could be a good thing, 174 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:06,760 Speaker 1: Like I was seeing there's an account with queer Chicano 175 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:13,959 Speaker 1: cheese man. Yes, so so there was a threat about 176 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:18,360 Speaker 1: how she's met, like as like oral tradition, as like 177 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:21,800 Speaker 1: staying informed, as like being on top of the news, 178 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,080 Speaker 1: and as like as a way of just being informed 179 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:26,840 Speaker 1: like cheesemans like no, I'm letting you know what's going on, 180 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:29,200 Speaker 1: and I'm finding out what's happening. So we're saying, you know, 181 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:32,040 Speaker 1: abreast of the situation. So I love it. I think 182 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:35,360 Speaker 1: like cheesemans are heritage. No, like if it wasn't for cheesemith, 183 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:38,160 Speaker 1: like when was it? Um, I'm part of a collective 184 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:40,679 Speaker 1: called you want to fire shout out to my bottle 185 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:44,440 Speaker 1: and but um, we're gonna perform at a vent at 186 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:47,679 Speaker 1: venue that Royal Heights is boycotting and I didn't know, 187 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:49,760 Speaker 1: and then her hair homebroke. I don't hit me up, 188 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,120 Speaker 1: and she's like, hey, did you know? I did not 189 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:56,240 Speaker 1: say like that, no, but still yes, because I need 190 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:57,640 Speaker 1: to know all of the stuff. And we had a 191 00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,800 Speaker 1: conversation and I was able to talk like, hey, we 192 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:01,480 Speaker 1: do this, and she's like, it's a good thing. You 193 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:04,079 Speaker 1: got your ear to the street. Yeah, because like you know, 194 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,559 Speaker 1: but like it's how She's like, we keep each other 195 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:11,960 Speaker 1: and form. Like people give gossip in cheesement a bad yes, 196 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:15,560 Speaker 1: um connotation because it's mostly things that that's something that 197 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:18,199 Speaker 1: how women keep each other and they don't a lot 198 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,760 Speaker 1: women to keep each other in power, in form and 199 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:25,320 Speaker 1: informed and talking about each other. It's super gendered also, um. 200 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:28,240 Speaker 1: And I think there's also like a queerness to cheesement 201 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:30,160 Speaker 1: as well. I know, like a lot of queer folks, 202 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,640 Speaker 1: you know, we are that he has always like talking 203 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:35,880 Speaker 1: about cheeseman and the tea and the tea. Yeah, so 204 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:39,720 Speaker 1: there's a lot of yes cheeseman as like self preservation 205 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:43,760 Speaker 1: or something. I love it, Yes, all right, and that 206 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:48,160 Speaker 1: being said, so let's get into our questions. Let's get 207 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,880 Speaker 1: into our discussion topics for this couple. Look, because we 208 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:54,520 Speaker 1: want to talk about love, and not just romantic love, 209 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,120 Speaker 1: but any type of love, however that is. You know 210 00:11:57,200 --> 00:12:01,120 Speaker 1: that we interpret it individually. So the first conversation that 211 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,280 Speaker 1: we want to have is talking about, you know, how 212 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,960 Speaker 1: do you love yourself? How do you continue loving yourself 213 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:11,520 Speaker 1: or learn to love yourself while you're loving somebody else? Right, So, again, 214 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,640 Speaker 1: romantic or not romantic, we want to hear what you 215 00:12:14,679 --> 00:12:17,000 Speaker 1: guys think, like, how do you navigate that? How do 216 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,560 Speaker 1: you maintain your love of self and self care and 217 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,640 Speaker 1: all of that good stuff while you're pouring your attention 218 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:28,000 Speaker 1: into another person? Right? Who wants to start? I want 219 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,560 Speaker 1: to start. I always have a lot to say about anything, 220 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:34,719 Speaker 1: but I think for me, how I maintaining a lot 221 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 1: of myself while I loving the other votes. It's like 222 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:39,360 Speaker 1: understanding that my art is my own. I'm a writer. 223 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,400 Speaker 1: I write about being in love, bolly and and love 224 00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:46,240 Speaker 1: my relationships with people. But I've learned to not apologize 225 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:48,800 Speaker 1: of how I write about love within my work. So 226 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:51,520 Speaker 1: within my work, I show up authentically asked myself at 227 00:12:51,559 --> 00:12:55,040 Speaker 1: all time, and that's my space. So whether it's like 228 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:58,680 Speaker 1: I'm super googly I love with somebody or I hate 229 00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:00,800 Speaker 1: them that day, or it's for my mama, who I 230 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,440 Speaker 1: feel really great about that day, or I'm frustrated with 231 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:09,800 Speaker 1: and try to show up as authentically myself within my work. 232 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,719 Speaker 1: And sometimes also it's like knowing that it's easy to 233 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:14,920 Speaker 1: get caught up in the bubble, you know, the relationship, 234 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:18,440 Speaker 1: the relationship and um where you disappear for everybody for 235 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:20,360 Speaker 1: like two months or whatever. So it's kind of like 236 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,960 Speaker 1: knowing that, Okay, it's been a week since I talked 237 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:26,720 Speaker 1: to anybody that's not this person that's my lover, So 238 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:29,960 Speaker 1: I gotta like check in with other people because there's 239 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,440 Speaker 1: a whole world that exists out of that kind of love. 240 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:34,800 Speaker 1: Just kind of like always reminding yourself that you belong 241 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:37,240 Speaker 1: to multiple worlds as opposed to the one that you're 242 00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:41,079 Speaker 1: creating with your partner. I love when you belong to yourself, yes, 243 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:43,800 Speaker 1: and you belong to yourself, And that's something I had 244 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,480 Speaker 1: to learn kind of the tough wig because for me 245 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:49,080 Speaker 1: a couple of years back, like I was in the 246 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:52,880 Speaker 1: six year relationship and when that relationship ended. We had 247 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,760 Speaker 1: been so consumed in each other for those six years 248 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:59,440 Speaker 1: that literally when that relationship ended, I had nobody and 249 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:01,800 Speaker 1: it was the hardest thing for me because I had 250 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,719 Speaker 1: nobody to run to to help me heal, to help 251 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,640 Speaker 1: me through that process. So I literally had to start 252 00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:11,600 Speaker 1: from the bottom, like working my ass off to rebuild 253 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:17,439 Speaker 1: these friendships and to reconnect and create new friendships. Um 254 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,480 Speaker 1: So so that was stuff. So now like that, I 255 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:23,160 Speaker 1: see that for future relationships, future partnerships that I may have, 256 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:26,720 Speaker 1: my main focus will forever be my friends, will forever 257 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:30,920 Speaker 1: be my family. Whoever be those people around Like, yeah, awesome, 258 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,960 Speaker 1: that person is there and they can be in my life, 259 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:43,480 Speaker 1: but I exist before that, right, Expose them? Is that theme? Yes, 260 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:52,240 Speaker 1: expose them? I agree, But yeah, that's for It's like, 261 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:56,120 Speaker 1: it's difficult. It's so interesting to me, like like hearing 262 00:14:56,200 --> 00:15:00,480 Speaker 1: yes talk right now, that the fact that you have 263 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:03,240 Speaker 1: your whole life and your routine and your friends and 264 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:06,600 Speaker 1: your family and your network and your community, but then 265 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:10,040 Speaker 1: when a romantic partner comes into the picture, it's strange 266 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:13,440 Speaker 1: that it then becomes a struggle to maintain your everyday, 267 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,680 Speaker 1: regular ass ship that you've been living for for all 268 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:19,200 Speaker 1: these years, like all of a sudden, like your world 269 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:22,120 Speaker 1: gets kind of like shifted, and then now it's work 270 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:25,000 Speaker 1: to see the friends that you've known your whole life, 271 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,280 Speaker 1: and it's worked to make sure you spend time with 272 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:30,880 Speaker 1: your parents. It's interesting to me. Yeah, I mean it's 273 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:34,080 Speaker 1: because love is out consuming, right, So who move on 274 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:37,160 Speaker 1: for someone? Like it's such a good feeling, it's such 275 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,800 Speaker 1: a high, Like we want that all the time, suhoria. 276 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,640 Speaker 1: So you're like, oh, it's okay, like I can call 277 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,720 Speaker 1: my later anytime whatever, because you want to be with 278 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:47,200 Speaker 1: this other person. That's like in toxicating to you. But 279 00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:50,640 Speaker 1: at the same time, you gotta remember that like that 280 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:52,760 Speaker 1: feeling is only like gonna last for so long as 281 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:55,480 Speaker 1: a relationship is gonna starting to work soon too, And 282 00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:56,880 Speaker 1: then like how are you getting take care of yourself 283 00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:59,520 Speaker 1: outside of that relationship, because like if you don't have 284 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:02,080 Speaker 1: your whole us to talk, like, how are you gonna 285 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,560 Speaker 1: go with the relationship? And then that's how I think 286 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,600 Speaker 1: sometimes we read a lot of talks of things when 287 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:09,360 Speaker 1: we cut off the outside world and all we know 288 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:11,760 Speaker 1: is the relationship And are we being like an an 289 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:15,560 Speaker 1: abusive situations? Yeah, we don't even know into your adem 290 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:18,600 Speaker 1: Like what anybody telling me this was happening? Right? You try? 291 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:26,760 Speaker 1: You want to your isolating yourself? Yeah, definitely. Um, how 292 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:29,160 Speaker 1: do you love yourself when you're loving someone else? So 293 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:32,440 Speaker 1: I won't talk about this in a romantic context, but 294 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:37,000 Speaker 1: I think with friendships, I'm gonna gasp myself. I hope 295 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:39,200 Speaker 1: this is true. If you're my friend, please tell me 296 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:45,960 Speaker 1: from like trying to be Oh my god exposed when 297 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:49,000 Speaker 1: the tables turned. But I tried to be like a 298 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:51,240 Speaker 1: good friend. And I'm like a fucking ride or die 299 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:54,600 Speaker 1: a bit about ship and so like sometimes by sometimes, 300 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:55,960 Speaker 1: I mean all the time, I want to be able 301 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:58,240 Speaker 1: to do that for me as well. And I think 302 00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:01,120 Speaker 1: that when that doesn't happen, and I'm like, what the funk? 303 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,840 Speaker 1: I thought we were friends? And we and I was, 304 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:05,560 Speaker 1: and I am friends with these people. But I think 305 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:08,199 Speaker 1: the way that some others define friendship and I define 306 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:12,240 Speaker 1: it are very drastically different. Um. So there's moments where 307 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,560 Speaker 1: I have friends friendship heart breaks and I'm like, damn, 308 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:15,960 Speaker 1: you didn't do this for me, but I would have 309 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,080 Speaker 1: done it for you, So like what's the deal. But 310 00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:20,240 Speaker 1: the person really had no idea that I have like 311 00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:25,439 Speaker 1: these very high virgo expectations of friendship, so sometimes like 312 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:28,159 Speaker 1: it's not there's no balance, there's not much of a 313 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:32,800 Speaker 1: balance and how I conceptualized friendship, especially when like I 314 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:35,399 Speaker 1: think ship that is reserved for the romantic doesn't have 315 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:38,280 Speaker 1: can exist outside of the romantic, right, Like I could 316 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:39,840 Speaker 1: be loving on my friends, I could be touching on 317 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:42,919 Speaker 1: my friends and consensual ways um and I could be 318 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,359 Speaker 1: right or die for them like a quote unquote partner would. 319 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:47,480 Speaker 1: But when friends don't do that for me, I'm like, 320 00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:49,600 Speaker 1: what the funk? I thought we were friends and we are, 321 00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:53,160 Speaker 1: but just not in the way that I think we are. 322 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:55,040 Speaker 1: I woant to I want to talk about that a 323 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:58,960 Speaker 1: little bit because I've actually gotten into trouble by partners 324 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:02,480 Speaker 1: because I love my friends so much like they have 325 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,520 Speaker 1: this idea or partners. In the past, I've had this 326 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,240 Speaker 1: idea that my affection that I would give to friends 327 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:11,320 Speaker 1: like exclusively for partners. So shout out to my best 328 00:18:11,359 --> 00:18:14,040 Speaker 1: friends Richard and Sebastian. I know that child are listening 329 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:17,040 Speaker 1: and I love them so much. Like you know when 330 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:18,800 Speaker 1: you have those friends where you're in love with them, 331 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:21,680 Speaker 1: but it's still platonic like those are them for me 332 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:26,800 Speaker 1: so um navigating relationships and even you know, relationships that 333 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,120 Speaker 1: I may have in the future, like romantic ones, trying 334 00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:32,080 Speaker 1: to negotiate that like, hey, like I love these people 335 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:35,000 Speaker 1: so much, like I love the mommy so much, and 336 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:37,000 Speaker 1: like you're gonna have to accept that, like because they're 337 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:39,560 Speaker 1: like like at the same level as you. If you 338 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:43,040 Speaker 1: want to get my friends, you have seen it with 339 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:47,200 Speaker 1: my mom. Yes, And I come from like what you're 340 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,639 Speaker 1: saying as well. I've noticed that even more in the 341 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:53,560 Speaker 1: last couple of months. I tend to be this person 342 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:57,800 Speaker 1: that I want to fix everyone, and not not like 343 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:02,439 Speaker 1: in a bad way, but like any time somebody has 344 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:05,440 Speaker 1: a problem or they feel depressed, or they feel like anxiety, 345 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:08,159 Speaker 1: there's work or whatever is going on in their lives, 346 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:11,040 Speaker 1: Like I always want to be the answer. And I'm 347 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,400 Speaker 1: catching myself now in those spaces where I'm like, no, 348 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:15,840 Speaker 1: I can't always be the answer. I can't always put 349 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:19,800 Speaker 1: myself in that situation because I'm dropping everything to try 350 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:22,240 Speaker 1: to heal you when I need to make sure that 351 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:25,280 Speaker 1: I'm healing myself first and not putting myself in the 352 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:30,399 Speaker 1: way of like toxic partnerships, or toxic anything. Um. So 353 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:35,480 Speaker 1: I'm noticing that more as of recently, um and just 354 00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:39,320 Speaker 1: I've been more vocal about it, especially like with potential 355 00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:42,960 Speaker 1: partners that I'm like, I realized this is happening, but hey, 356 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,159 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be there for you, but I need that 357 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:47,960 Speaker 1: in return. I need that reciprocated. I was like, if 358 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,320 Speaker 1: I'm going to be down for you, if I'm going 359 00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:50,880 Speaker 1: to do all these things for you and answer your 360 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:53,560 Speaker 1: calls that for I am calm you down, whatever you need, like, 361 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:56,280 Speaker 1: I expect the same in return. And when it doesn't 362 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,520 Speaker 1: happen for me, yeah, I get super let down. And 363 00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:00,520 Speaker 1: I'm just like, we're not even to together yet, So 364 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:05,040 Speaker 1: this is what's happening, and this is why I'm at. Yeah, 365 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:09,320 Speaker 1: so maintaining your boundaries while you're loving yourself loving somebody else, right, 366 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:14,640 Speaker 1: And because love blurs boundaries, it does like all kinds 367 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:20,040 Speaker 1: of boundaries, like boundaries of time space, Like there's so 368 00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:22,439 Speaker 1: much so then too, and I feel like a lot 369 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:24,520 Speaker 1: of times what happens in a relationship, you fall in 370 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:27,399 Speaker 1: love really quickly, so all boundaries go out the window 371 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:29,960 Speaker 1: in some ways. So then to then have to re 372 00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:34,760 Speaker 1: establish boundaries, that's really tricky, right, and then that's where 373 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:38,520 Speaker 1: like communication is really important, and like that's where you see, Okay, 374 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:43,359 Speaker 1: is this a relationship, like is it two ways or 375 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:48,359 Speaker 1: or am I feel avoid this person? Yeah? I was 376 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:52,199 Speaker 1: talking to this too, and supply you hadn't had feelings 377 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:55,040 Speaker 1: for anybody like and forever, which is typical guyline, just 378 00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:57,879 Speaker 1: so you know, it's like I haven't liked anybody like this. 379 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:04,200 Speaker 1: Two weeks go, they were talking somebody whatever. So we 380 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,920 Speaker 1: started talking about me on the phone all the time 381 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,600 Speaker 1: because he um worked that night and he was a driver, 382 00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:11,879 Speaker 1: so I would talk to him all night and if 383 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:13,320 Speaker 1: he was in my hood, he'd bring me like a 384 00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:15,560 Speaker 1: snack and then we'd like sit in his car. It 385 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:17,800 Speaker 1: was super cute for two weeks, and then I realized 386 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,560 Speaker 1: that I wasn't writing, I wasn't hanging out with friends 387 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,640 Speaker 1: like I looked up and I had put everything on hold, right, 388 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,119 Speaker 1: And so one day I just needed like detached and 389 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,639 Speaker 1: didn't want to like talk to him. So they didn't 390 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,240 Speaker 1: answer his phone. Calle didn't anything. He saw me on 391 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:34,640 Speaker 1: Instagram and then he blew up my phone and then 392 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,040 Speaker 1: he was just like I just want to make sure 393 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,280 Speaker 1: that I'm not getting played. I'm like, hold on to 394 00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:41,360 Speaker 1: stuff like that. The moment that I said some type 395 00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:44,240 Speaker 1: of boundary, you went somewhere else, and that's when I 396 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:47,280 Speaker 1: knew that, Like, it wasn't so the second there was 397 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,919 Speaker 1: a boundary, there was an ultimatum. It was just like, 398 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,760 Speaker 1: I like, how do I know you're not playing me? 399 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:54,159 Speaker 1: How do I know you're not throwing or whatever? And 400 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:55,960 Speaker 1: then I was just like, no, I can't. This can't 401 00:21:56,920 --> 00:22:01,119 Speaker 1: because you weren't all of me, which is flattered, but like, 402 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,000 Speaker 1: I have so many other things to do, and because 403 00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:05,960 Speaker 1: I'm somebody with a platform, there's so many people that 404 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:09,600 Speaker 1: want so much of me too. You gotta be chilled 405 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,760 Speaker 1: at with the fact that you're gonna share me with 406 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:16,760 Speaker 1: thirteen thousand other people you're wanting. That's like, you're gonna 407 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:20,639 Speaker 1: be cool with me having a buck career. Yeah. Yeah, 408 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:23,360 Speaker 1: So those are boundaries. And I think you pointed out 409 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:27,800 Speaker 1: something important and I might be projecting, but I'm saying anyway, 410 00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:31,160 Speaker 1: I think I've been thinking about this. Um. I think 411 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:34,720 Speaker 1: that men want like people to be their mother's Like 412 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:37,120 Speaker 1: they'll be like, oh, I like this person because they're 413 00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:41,320 Speaker 1: nice to me, And then I'm like I'm like, if 414 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:43,280 Speaker 1: you like someone because they're nice to you, and they 415 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:46,520 Speaker 1: ask you if you ate, I don't say, like, you 416 00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:49,240 Speaker 1: don't want a partner, you want your mother. And that's 417 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,159 Speaker 1: a fucking problem. And that's something that needs to be 418 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:54,240 Speaker 1: identified with sucking men, because I think many times men 419 00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:57,680 Speaker 1: confuse partnerships with well, I'm gonna, you're gonna, I'm gonna 420 00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:00,879 Speaker 1: be your vessel of emotional and psychological a labor for 421 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,320 Speaker 1: your ass to succeed on keeping you alive and keeping 422 00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:07,919 Speaker 1: you alive because we're nice, right, because we're not. So 423 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:09,960 Speaker 1: I think that's something that needs to be assessed and 424 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:13,479 Speaker 1: I think it merits like a better investigation to all 425 00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:17,560 Speaker 1: assists heat men, please check yourself. I really believe that 426 00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:21,880 Speaker 1: the vast majority of SIS head men would greatly benefit 427 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:26,879 Speaker 1: from therapy. I recommend all SIS heat men to go 428 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:29,720 Speaker 1: to therapy. I really do. It doesn't need to be 429 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:34,640 Speaker 1: traditional like Anglo Saxon American therapy, like whatever it is 430 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:37,080 Speaker 1: that it's going to heal you, like you know what 431 00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:44,359 Speaker 1: I'm saying, you know, liked so they have a emote, emote. 432 00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:47,119 Speaker 1: I would like that. I think that would be helpful 433 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,080 Speaker 1: for a lot of people. I think I got to 434 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:53,200 Speaker 1: share this article today about or was it yesterday that man, 435 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:57,160 Speaker 1: it was pretty scarten men could benefit from like physical 436 00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:01,439 Speaker 1: consensual affection from their friends. It's a beautiful article. However, 437 00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:03,800 Speaker 1: I will say that I believe that in some ways 438 00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:07,800 Speaker 1: men of color do have in some ways do touch 439 00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:11,439 Speaker 1: each other like non consensually, no, consensually, like in a 440 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:13,919 Speaker 1: friendly way more often than white men do. Like if 441 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:15,879 Speaker 1: you think about like the way men of color might 442 00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:18,920 Speaker 1: hug each other when they say hello, you know, or 443 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:21,440 Speaker 1: the way that they shake hands, how it's like more 444 00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:25,000 Speaker 1: prolonged sometimes. I don't know, I think that there's like 445 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:28,359 Speaker 1: subtle ways that men of color like they will touch 446 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:30,600 Speaker 1: each other a little bit more. Will they admit that, No, 447 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:34,000 Speaker 1: because the homophobia is real, right, so they're not going 448 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,200 Speaker 1: to admit that. But I think that there is I 449 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:37,879 Speaker 1: don't know. I think there's a little bit of a 450 00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:39,760 Speaker 1: difference in the way that men of color interact with 451 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:42,080 Speaker 1: each other versus white men. Yeah, I think everyone should 452 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:45,000 Speaker 1: like cuddle with their friends. How essentially cuddle with their friends. 453 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,560 Speaker 1: It makes a difference, you know, totally, it really does. 454 00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:54,560 Speaker 1: So I guess we could talk about also, like like 455 00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:57,000 Speaker 1: expanding on kind of what I think God Will started 456 00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:59,120 Speaker 1: talking about is like when the love that you're giving 457 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:02,120 Speaker 1: is not being riciped cadd right, Like, how do you 458 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:05,359 Speaker 1: like continue to love yourself when you're dealing with somebody 459 00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:07,680 Speaker 1: who's not reciprocating that to you? And I even think 460 00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:10,359 Speaker 1: that like that happens a lot like in families, Like 461 00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:14,000 Speaker 1: I think sometimes you have situations where, like children they're 462 00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:16,879 Speaker 1: like really wanting to be lovey dovey with their parents 463 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,399 Speaker 1: or with another relative, but maybe that relative is not 464 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:22,360 Speaker 1: very affectionate, right, Like I think that there are some 465 00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:25,919 Speaker 1: mothers who are not very affectionate mothers right outwardly. So 466 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:27,720 Speaker 1: how do you how do you love yourself when you're 467 00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:29,800 Speaker 1: not receiving the type of love that you want and 468 00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:33,480 Speaker 1: you need, you know, like to feel validated and special. 469 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,560 Speaker 1: I have this saying that I tell myself whenever I 470 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,240 Speaker 1: m it started. I was part of a group of 471 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:43,680 Speaker 1: friends and it became very like clicky, like, um, it 472 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:45,720 Speaker 1: was like the queen being the group and she would 473 00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:48,000 Speaker 1: purposely hang out with other people and leave one person 474 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:49,960 Speaker 1: out and she felt you needed to be encourished for 475 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:53,680 Speaker 1: something right, very mean girl, like totally mean girls scenario. 476 00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:56,400 Speaker 1: But while going through that and me being the person 477 00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:59,120 Speaker 1: that was being excluded. I came up with this saying 478 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:02,480 Speaker 1: that says, you can't be everything for everyone, right and 479 00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:04,160 Speaker 1: now it's just like all I could be is Jessica 480 00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:07,320 Speaker 1: and just whatever that means, whatever that is, however that 481 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:09,880 Speaker 1: shows up and in all these friendships when I feel 482 00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:12,840 Speaker 1: that people are gravitating more for someone else, or they're 483 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:15,879 Speaker 1: being louder and their love towards someone else, or like 484 00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:18,440 Speaker 1: there was a time where I was at the party girl, 485 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:20,159 Speaker 1: so when my friends who went out a party and 486 00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:21,920 Speaker 1: without me, I was just like, I can't be everything 487 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,560 Speaker 1: for everybody, Like I'm just who I am, and I 488 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:26,520 Speaker 1: have to be okay with that, Like I have to 489 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:30,560 Speaker 1: stop trying to be to fit every single part that 490 00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:33,080 Speaker 1: this person needs in their life, you know. And I 491 00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:35,120 Speaker 1: have to be okay with our friendship existing the way 492 00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:37,800 Speaker 1: that it does. And um, it's hard, but that's how 493 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:39,280 Speaker 1: I like I usually. So if you ever seen me 494 00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:41,640 Speaker 1: post it online, it's because I'm having one of those 495 00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:43,720 Speaker 1: days where I need to be like it's cool, Like 496 00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:46,879 Speaker 1: it's cool, yes, good, Like people have other needs that 497 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:49,520 Speaker 1: you can't meet, and sometimes we've got to be aware 498 00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,600 Speaker 1: of that, you know, because I think we think that 499 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:56,359 Speaker 1: love builds everything, right, and like like like you should 500 00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:59,240 Speaker 1: just be okay with me. And I think in my 501 00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:02,520 Speaker 1: last relations ship, I came to that realization that like 502 00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,640 Speaker 1: love isn't enough, and that was a really hard realization 503 00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:08,720 Speaker 1: for me to have because this person really loved me, 504 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:11,520 Speaker 1: you know, but I needed something more. There was maybe 505 00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:13,800 Speaker 1: the type of love she was giving me it wasn't 506 00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:16,840 Speaker 1: what I needed at the time. I'm still I'm still 507 00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:20,359 Speaker 1: processing the end of that relationship, but yeah, like having 508 00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:22,280 Speaker 1: that that moment like oh my god, like love is 509 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:25,800 Speaker 1: not everything and it's not enough that will sustain me, right, 510 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:35,520 Speaker 1: feels take a sense right now. I had a friendship 511 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:39,000 Speaker 1: that ended like very strangely and abruptly, and like it 512 00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:41,199 Speaker 1: was a type of friendship where like I was always 513 00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:44,040 Speaker 1: hitting her up and like I was always inviting her 514 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:47,160 Speaker 1: out and always making sure she felt to include it, right. 515 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:51,479 Speaker 1: But then like the second I didn't text her, and 516 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:53,240 Speaker 1: I was like it was kind of I was like, 517 00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,640 Speaker 1: I'm an experiment with this situation because I really feel 518 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:57,560 Speaker 1: like this bitch will not text me back, like, will 519 00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:01,200 Speaker 1: not text me if I'm not the first one to initiate, right, yeah, 520 00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:03,560 Speaker 1: And a month went by and I didn't hear from her. 521 00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,600 Speaker 1: Two months went by, three months, It's been a couple 522 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:07,679 Speaker 1: of years and I have not heard friend you know 523 00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:09,800 Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So it was a type of situation 524 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:12,119 Speaker 1: where it was strange to me because if I hit 525 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,640 Speaker 1: if I hit her up, she would always say, yeah, 526 00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:16,679 Speaker 1: let's go out, let's hang out. But then when it 527 00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:21,000 Speaker 1: came to like seeing if if she even thinks of 528 00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:23,840 Speaker 1: me or it wants to include me and things, or 529 00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:27,280 Speaker 1: wants to invite me out or you know, that wasn't happening, 530 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,479 Speaker 1: you know, on her end. So it was really strange 531 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:33,960 Speaker 1: to me when that that that friendship ended, because like 532 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:38,000 Speaker 1: when it ended, it ended, you know, and so like 533 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:40,320 Speaker 1: I don't know, like has anybody else had that type 534 00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:42,680 Speaker 1: of friendship or like you're you're the one putting in 535 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,440 Speaker 1: like yeah, I'm planning stuff for going out, but they 536 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:47,960 Speaker 1: really don't put that effort back in. I had a 537 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:51,760 Speaker 1: best friend twenty five years women in kindergarten in French 538 00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:53,200 Speaker 1: for such a long time, and I was the one 539 00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:56,280 Speaker 1: I was doing then all the emotional work in a relationship, 540 00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:58,120 Speaker 1: and she was always ready way to point out right 541 00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:00,840 Speaker 1: shortcomings and all these and so I was always the 542 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:03,640 Speaker 1: one like i'll change, I'll do better, I'll do these things. 543 00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:06,520 Speaker 1: And then when um, maybe like around five years four 544 00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:08,480 Speaker 1: years ago, I started going through with this whole new growth, 545 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:11,240 Speaker 1: like this new personal growth, coming out of a depression 546 00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:13,880 Speaker 1: and like all these ugly parts of these dark places 547 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:17,040 Speaker 1: of my life, you know, and finding um medical help 548 00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:19,760 Speaker 1: from my mental illnesses and all that kind of stuff. 549 00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:22,440 Speaker 1: So I came into a better me, and she didn't 550 00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:25,000 Speaker 1: believe that I was a better person. So she kept 551 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:27,960 Speaker 1: bringing up this old Jessica that did something in high 552 00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:30,080 Speaker 1: school and I kissed the boy she liked in high 553 00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:33,400 Speaker 1: school or some ship, and she can't Bringing it up 554 00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:36,720 Speaker 1: in a friendship was just getting more and more exhausting, 555 00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:38,960 Speaker 1: until one day she told me to get out of 556 00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:41,600 Speaker 1: her life, and I said, I can't. I can't stay 557 00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:43,800 Speaker 1: where I'm not wanted, and I dipped out in twain. 558 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:47,720 Speaker 1: Over the twenty five years of friendship that like that, wow, yeah, 559 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:51,080 Speaker 1: but you know, other than that, like but even in that, 560 00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:53,200 Speaker 1: it was a very sad friendship to lose. But I 561 00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:56,440 Speaker 1: found a freedom because I I lost this fear of 562 00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:59,280 Speaker 1: always losing. There was always this constant fear of losing 563 00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:01,800 Speaker 1: this person, and so once I lost them, I saw 564 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,080 Speaker 1: that I was fine, and I was just like, well 565 00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:06,000 Speaker 1: it we've been a part of each other's like for 566 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:08,440 Speaker 1: so longer I was gonna be family. So like, I 567 00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:11,240 Speaker 1: don't hate her, but she doesn't have to actively be 568 00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:17,440 Speaker 1: in my life because it was too exasting. Yeah that's right. Yeah, 569 00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:21,280 Speaker 1: I'm finding it hard to answer the question, and I'm like, oh, ship, 570 00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:26,800 Speaker 1: are you that friends? Got no? No, But then it's 571 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:30,160 Speaker 1: like I think it's like, am I pulling Not that 572 00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:32,600 Speaker 1: I don't love myself, but other moments while I pull 573 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:34,840 Speaker 1: her extract energy from my friends so that they can 574 00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:36,840 Speaker 1: help me love myself. And do I need to be 575 00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:39,840 Speaker 1: walked through that? And if that's the case, then I 576 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:41,360 Speaker 1: need to go to counseling, which I do have an 577 00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:44,920 Speaker 1: appointment out there today. What's good, I'm gonna get me 578 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:50,640 Speaker 1: something like that would better that for real done? Um, 579 00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:52,600 Speaker 1: So I think that's a very that's a very important 580 00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:55,000 Speaker 1: thing to assess. Like I had, like this kind of 581 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:59,360 Speaker 1: serious situation in school happened the other day and like 582 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,160 Speaker 1: I found myself off, like telling a bunch of friends 583 00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:05,320 Speaker 1: because I needed reassurance even though through even just Caucasian logic. 584 00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,760 Speaker 1: I knew that what was happening didn't make sense and 585 00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:12,080 Speaker 1: it was unjust just in general, right, like being one 586 00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,400 Speaker 1: of the few brown kids from the fucking hood, like 587 00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:17,080 Speaker 1: at this really white school and graduate program's sucking, scary 588 00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:20,240 Speaker 1: and stressful, and sometimes I just don't believe in myself. 589 00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:22,640 Speaker 1: But then I'm like, well, funk, like hello, folks backed 590 00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:24,520 Speaker 1: me up left and right, So so why are you 591 00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:27,560 Speaker 1: judging yourself? And so I think that points out that, 592 00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:30,040 Speaker 1: like I find my love for myself and my value, 593 00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:32,680 Speaker 1: which is kind of sad, but I mean that's why 594 00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:35,000 Speaker 1: I love my folks so hard. Through my folks and 595 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:36,400 Speaker 1: they remind me and they'll like slap me, be like, 596 00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:38,360 Speaker 1: what the funk are you talking about? Bitch, you're fucking 597 00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:42,959 Speaker 1: fly like y'all hid in the group. Um. So I 598 00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:47,240 Speaker 1: think my friends are a reflection or mayor and obviously 599 00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:49,680 Speaker 1: have very powerful and like dop as, I don't give 600 00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:52,600 Speaker 1: a friend. So I think I get my energy from 601 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:54,960 Speaker 1: you all, which is just the realization I just had, 602 00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:59,160 Speaker 1: which I think, I think it's really nice at what 603 00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:03,360 Speaker 1: you're saying because us like you're you're taking what you're given. 604 00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:06,080 Speaker 1: Does that make sense. That sounds weird when I say it. 605 00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:10,480 Speaker 1: You're like before, you're also putting out into the into 606 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:14,320 Speaker 1: your friend universe. You get you're coming back to you 607 00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:16,680 Speaker 1: like the way like when you need it, like to 608 00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:19,440 Speaker 1: be uplifted. I know that I've texted the group chat 609 00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:21,800 Speaker 1: and like a panic about something, and God will will 610 00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:23,920 Speaker 1: back me up and be like you got this, Like 611 00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:26,640 Speaker 1: you're good, We're here for you, we love you and 612 00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:29,600 Speaker 1: all this. So I feel like, you know, you're putting 613 00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:31,680 Speaker 1: that out into the universe, and that's why it's it's 614 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:36,160 Speaker 1: also coming back to you, boomerang. There're notting wrong with 615 00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:38,920 Speaker 1: wanting to be seen and wanting to make feel valid, 616 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:43,120 Speaker 1: like I think we're we're told that like adders were 617 00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:45,800 Speaker 1: supposed to be bad as pitches that don't want anything, 618 00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:49,160 Speaker 1: don't need anything, but that's not true. Like we're people 619 00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:52,880 Speaker 1: of community. We come from a culture, like our ancestors 620 00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:55,920 Speaker 1: lived in tribes and communities, and so you need that 621 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,640 Speaker 1: you like to drive off from each other and this 622 00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:06,560 Speaker 1: whole like um independent individual like white eye. That's like 623 00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:09,280 Speaker 1: what people that like call our parents every day. They're 624 00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:12,240 Speaker 1: like help dinner with our families, live with our families. 625 00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:16,640 Speaker 1: So like for you don't want to feed off of 626 00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:18,760 Speaker 1: the people that you love. It's not like a bad thing, 627 00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:21,440 Speaker 1: and don't say anything about you. Also, the notion of 628 00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:23,560 Speaker 1: like like no one cauld love you if you don't 629 00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:26,080 Speaker 1: love yourself is stupid, Like let me just look get 630 00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,640 Speaker 1: its that because it keeps getting going around racing. It's like, 631 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:30,600 Speaker 1: you gotta love yourself if you want to feel love, 632 00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:32,440 Speaker 1: or you can't love anybody if you don't love yourself. 633 00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:34,400 Speaker 1: That's really fun up to tell people that they're not 634 00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:36,880 Speaker 1: worthy of love if they haven't found reasons to love 635 00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:40,400 Speaker 1: themselve themselves. And so sometimes our friends are the ones 636 00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,120 Speaker 1: that helped get us to the place where we could 637 00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:45,239 Speaker 1: be like, oh shoot, I'm bomed. But before that, like 638 00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:47,160 Speaker 1: we don't see it. So it's up to our community 639 00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:49,480 Speaker 1: like me our mirror and tell us like this is 640 00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:51,080 Speaker 1: who you are and this is how much you're valued. 641 00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:55,280 Speaker 1: And I learned that recently that my love language is 642 00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:58,880 Speaker 1: words of affirmation. So for me to feel I guess 643 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:02,720 Speaker 1: validated or feel like I'm making a difference in somebody's lives, 644 00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:04,600 Speaker 1: like I need to hear it from you. I need 645 00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:06,720 Speaker 1: you to tell me even in the workplace. For me 646 00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:09,439 Speaker 1: like I need somebody to tell me, Hey, you're doing 647 00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:14,000 Speaker 1: a good jobanguage you help these kids, or even like 648 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,640 Speaker 1: when families come into our office and they're just like 649 00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:18,960 Speaker 1: so grateful for all the work that we do for them, 650 00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:22,479 Speaker 1: I'm just like break down because I see I see 651 00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:25,000 Speaker 1: it just like in front of me, like all the 652 00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:28,080 Speaker 1: work and every all the growth and all the just 653 00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:30,840 Speaker 1: love that we're putting out there in the community and 654 00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:34,040 Speaker 1: even in partnerships. I like to hear that I'm valued, 655 00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:37,239 Speaker 1: that I'm appreciated more than anything. So that's how I know, 656 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,440 Speaker 1: and and then that's how I amyable. I guess to 657 00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:43,520 Speaker 1: like recycle that back and give it back to you 658 00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:48,440 Speaker 1: through words of affirmations. Now, yeah, made me think of like, 659 00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:52,520 Speaker 1: so this year I've started discovering a lot or maybe 660 00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:54,840 Speaker 1: this past year and a half about mental health through friends. 661 00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:56,839 Speaker 1: Like friends would post stuff and then like I would 662 00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:59,640 Speaker 1: like google things or like shout out to sembwhere and 663 00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:02,239 Speaker 1: like read about mental illness and I was like, oh shit, 664 00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:06,239 Speaker 1: that's me. So like the past year and a half, 665 00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:09,040 Speaker 1: I've been discovering a lot about mental health and anxiety. 666 00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:11,920 Speaker 1: And I've also just had side side note like physical 667 00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:15,600 Speaker 1: symptoms of anxiety quick. Fact, if you are having an 668 00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:18,600 Speaker 1: anxiety attack, it's possible to get a bloody nose because 669 00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:23,000 Speaker 1: you're capillaries could pop because your blood is flowing so quick. 670 00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:25,720 Speaker 1: So that happens to you. I mean, it's it's normal 671 00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:28,880 Speaker 1: for an anxiety attack. Like, don't freak out that happened 672 00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:33,000 Speaker 1: to me, or like PATIKII like popped blood vessels, like 673 00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:36,000 Speaker 1: those are physical symptoms of an anxiety. Shut up. I 674 00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:37,640 Speaker 1: just didn't know my nose started bleeding and I was 675 00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:40,359 Speaker 1: like crying. I was like, oh, fun. Yeah. Side note, 676 00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:43,840 Speaker 1: but I've been posting a lot about mental illness on 677 00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,600 Speaker 1: Instagram because that's just who I am, Like my days 678 00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:50,040 Speaker 1: have been bad, but like folks on message and be 679 00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:53,120 Speaker 1: like hey, like I feel that too, Like I thought 680 00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:54,200 Speaker 1: I was the only one, and I was like I 681 00:35:54,239 --> 00:35:55,440 Speaker 1: thought I was the only one, and I thought it 682 00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:58,680 Speaker 1: was sucking weird for telling everybody I have mental health issues. 683 00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:01,560 Speaker 1: So I think like through social media, at least in 684 00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:04,560 Speaker 1: spaces of color that I know, like we've seen kind 685 00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:07,799 Speaker 1: of this opening or this vessel where we could talk 686 00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:10,080 Speaker 1: about our issues with mental health and be okay with 687 00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:13,280 Speaker 1: that and not feel embarrassed. Because when I first started 688 00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:15,360 Speaker 1: talking about it, I felt embarrassed or like I wanted 689 00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:18,000 Speaker 1: to hide it from my family, But now I don't. 690 00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:19,759 Speaker 1: Like when I had that breakdown and I had to 691 00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:23,520 Speaker 1: leave work because I'm crying now a bloody knows um. 692 00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:25,120 Speaker 1: I told my mom, was like, I gotta go. It 693 00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:29,760 Speaker 1: was right after the election. I just burst literally blood um, 694 00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:32,479 Speaker 1: And like I told my mom and she was like, yeah, 695 00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:34,960 Speaker 1: She's like, don't like, don't worry, like you'll be fine. 696 00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:36,840 Speaker 1: If you need to go to the hospital, you should, 697 00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:40,760 Speaker 1: But she wasn't like stigmatizing it or like I think 698 00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:43,920 Speaker 1: I assume my mother would stigmatize mental health, but I 699 00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:46,640 Speaker 1: was wrong, And I've been wrong about like what my 700 00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:49,200 Speaker 1: mother would know or not know many times about my life. 701 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:52,600 Speaker 1: But my mother was very supportive and understood what I 702 00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:55,120 Speaker 1: was talking about. And so I think that goes to 703 00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:57,800 Speaker 1: show again as like folks of color, children of immigrants, 704 00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:00,359 Speaker 1: like our parents haven't died so much around mental health, 705 00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:03,839 Speaker 1: but they haven't always had the platform like Instagram to 706 00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:08,520 Speaker 1: tell us or talk about it. And I think that's 707 00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:11,200 Speaker 1: really Um, you brought up something that I actually wanted 708 00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:14,640 Speaker 1: to talk about, but I wasn't. This is just a 709 00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:17,080 Speaker 1: good transition is what I'm trying to say. My mother 710 00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:19,520 Speaker 1: actually the other day told me that I didn't have 711 00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:24,000 Speaker 1: a mental illness and that I don't even we were talking. 712 00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:25,959 Speaker 1: I was was telling her that I was looking looking 713 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:28,160 Speaker 1: at therapist and I was just I'm trying to like 714 00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:30,600 Speaker 1: feel better about myself and just like trying to get 715 00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:32,560 Speaker 1: my mental health in a better place and all this stuff. 716 00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:34,960 Speaker 1: And I also have been struggling on an offer with 717 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:38,440 Speaker 1: an eating disorder for the past over five years, and 718 00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:41,440 Speaker 1: she she knows that. So she tells me like, well, 719 00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:43,520 Speaker 1: you don't have a mental illness, and I kind of 720 00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:46,080 Speaker 1: just sat there and I was like, Okay, so everything 721 00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:49,120 Speaker 1: that I've been telling you for the past year isn't 722 00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:51,759 Speaker 1: really valid or what's going on. So then for me, 723 00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:54,080 Speaker 1: it's like my mom has so much of her own 724 00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:56,560 Speaker 1: trauma and her own issues with mental health is she 725 00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:58,879 Speaker 1: doesn't want to see it in me and also doesn't 726 00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:00,560 Speaker 1: want to think about how she can read it to 727 00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:03,439 Speaker 1: that either, you know. So it's kind of this really 728 00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:05,120 Speaker 1: weird place that I'm trying to navigate it right now 729 00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:07,160 Speaker 1: where I'm like, Okay, I know that it's not that 730 00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:10,439 Speaker 1: black and white and you're not like evil for saying this, 731 00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:13,279 Speaker 1: you know, but also like that's kind of sucked up, 732 00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:15,239 Speaker 1: you know when I'm telling you like everything that I've 733 00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:17,560 Speaker 1: been feeling, and then you want to be like, well, no, 734 00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:20,880 Speaker 1: not really. That's the thing because a lot of our 735 00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:23,120 Speaker 1: parents grew up with a mental illness looking a specific 736 00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:27,840 Speaker 1: way right then your hysterical, you can't function or whatever. 737 00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:29,520 Speaker 1: When I was in high school, I got a guy 738 00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:33,200 Speaker 1: who knows of manic depression, which is bipolar. I forget 739 00:38:33,239 --> 00:38:36,920 Speaker 1: what which one of it is, but it's bipolar, and 740 00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:40,680 Speaker 1: my therapist wanted to medicate me. My parents were like nope, 741 00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:42,839 Speaker 1: like we're cool with her going to therapy, like we're 742 00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:45,360 Speaker 1: already doing a lot by her talking to you whatever. 743 00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:48,960 Speaker 1: But really quickly, like because of things that I used 744 00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:50,960 Speaker 1: to say in therapy, social workers came to my home 745 00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:53,200 Speaker 1: because my dad was an alcoholic and he would drive 746 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,480 Speaker 1: while we were drunk or you know, things that are 747 00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:58,520 Speaker 1: not fucked up to our parents were happening in our home, 748 00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,640 Speaker 1: and they were sucked up situations where my therapist felt 749 00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:05,319 Speaker 1: I was in danger. So for them it became like 750 00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:10,080 Speaker 1: this thing that therapy is really like fucking up your family, 751 00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:13,520 Speaker 1: and like this this darting thing, and so um, I 752 00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:15,640 Speaker 1: always continued with it, and I always like take care 753 00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:19,719 Speaker 1: of myself, um emotionally mentally through my writing. So I 754 00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:22,640 Speaker 1: was I learned coping mechanisms outside of that. But I 755 00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:25,120 Speaker 1: always look like, who would I have been had I 756 00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:27,680 Speaker 1: been able to take what I needed when I was 757 00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:30,960 Speaker 1: sixteen seventeen? Like how different when my life have been? 758 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:33,520 Speaker 1: You know? And um, I can't really get too angry 759 00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:35,799 Speaker 1: with my parents because they didn't know any better. They 760 00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:37,560 Speaker 1: were just doing what they could with what they had. 761 00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:41,279 Speaker 1: And UM, like it sucks, you know that You're like, 762 00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:42,759 Speaker 1: oh man, you're the people I love the most. Names 763 00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:44,839 Speaker 1: people are supposed to care of me, but you don't 764 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:46,520 Speaker 1: even know how to take care of me. I didn't 765 00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:49,440 Speaker 1: even know how to take care of yourselves yourself medicating 766 00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:52,000 Speaker 1: with alcoholic you know, And it's the psycho And I 767 00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:54,239 Speaker 1: think like as we're learning and social media like helps 768 00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:56,960 Speaker 1: us all get in touch with more things, like it's 769 00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,880 Speaker 1: super dope, but it's also good to keep in my 770 00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:04,359 Speaker 1: and toil always check ourselves that. Um, I always check 771 00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:07,000 Speaker 1: ourselves when we are quick to self diagnosed, you know, 772 00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:09,600 Speaker 1: because a lot of times and I know all of 773 00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:12,120 Speaker 1: us are talking about this separately, that we're quick to 774 00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:15,319 Speaker 1: cast certain things disabilities and sometimes you might just be 775 00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:17,919 Speaker 1: going through an anxious perioding. I know I'm talking about 776 00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:23,239 Speaker 1: somebody though you know what you are, But like people 777 00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:26,120 Speaker 1: awkward to like call themselves distay old, and it takes 778 00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:28,960 Speaker 1: away from the people like from Cato, like from Gato, 779 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,200 Speaker 1: who had like a real situation that like where she 780 00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:33,600 Speaker 1: had to physically remove herself from somewhere where I have 781 00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:36,479 Speaker 1: an idea with entiety, but my daddy has never been 782 00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:39,920 Speaker 1: that whereas matter if I said itself physically, like maybe 783 00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:42,480 Speaker 1: it's just been more like like I just cry, I 784 00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:45,040 Speaker 1: just want to get out of a room. But I 785 00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:48,000 Speaker 1: would never compare it to like the level of other things. 786 00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:50,560 Speaker 1: But I think what I'm trying to get to is 787 00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:53,879 Speaker 1: that everything is hyper focused on social media. So when 788 00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:56,400 Speaker 1: we're looking at things, you should always be mindful of 789 00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:59,360 Speaker 1: when we self diagnosed until always check in with like 790 00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:03,680 Speaker 1: a therapist, story accounts, yeahs, you know, speak to other 791 00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:05,880 Speaker 1: people that we don't all have the medical resources, but 792 00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:08,359 Speaker 1: you can always ask like, hey, I'm broke, how can 793 00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:11,600 Speaker 1: I get access to mental care? I'm glad that you 794 00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:14,160 Speaker 1: brought that up up. I was I was thinking about 795 00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:18,040 Speaker 1: the idea of self diagnosis because there is a danger 796 00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:21,279 Speaker 1: to self diagnosis and also a stigma. Right on the 797 00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:25,400 Speaker 1: flip side, there's this reality that like, you can read 798 00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:30,360 Speaker 1: about symptoms and experiences that reflect your own right and 799 00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:33,680 Speaker 1: might give you a hint that what you're dealing with 800 00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:36,520 Speaker 1: might be right a mental health issue that maybe you 801 00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:39,960 Speaker 1: should go check in with the therapists. But reading up 802 00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:43,480 Speaker 1: about knowing the definition of trauma does not mean that 803 00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:46,759 Speaker 1: you are traumatized, right, Like, it's not the same thing. 804 00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:50,360 Speaker 1: Knowing the definition of mental health does not mean that 805 00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:52,239 Speaker 1: you have a mental illness. I think we're in this 806 00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:54,520 Speaker 1: periment right now where people were it's like a trending 807 00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:56,680 Speaker 1: thing to take on causus and to take on like 808 00:41:57,080 --> 00:41:59,480 Speaker 1: to you, certain words without knowing the meaning behind them, 809 00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:02,440 Speaker 1: and using the word disabled or using words like trauma 810 00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:05,960 Speaker 1: are are very dangerous things to always use in broad strokes, 811 00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:08,480 Speaker 1: because we're taking the power away from the people that 812 00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:11,279 Speaker 1: actually have these things, are have endured these things and 813 00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:15,120 Speaker 1: have like gained the courage to say like I am, 814 00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:17,400 Speaker 1: you know, I have this traumama survivor of X Y 815 00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:19,920 Speaker 1: Z or I have a disability and this is my 816 00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:23,280 Speaker 1: disability where home girl shows up, that's just like Hasard 817 00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:25,440 Speaker 1: has had a bad month, and it's like I have 818 00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:28,200 Speaker 1: a disability because I like here's and here's my here's 819 00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:30,880 Speaker 1: Here's where my issue comes in is you you cannot 820 00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:36,200 Speaker 1: use your or you should not, or I would hope 821 00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:41,200 Speaker 1: that you wouldn't use like your your your experience as 822 00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:46,480 Speaker 1: a weapon against somebody else. Right, so you don't claim, oh, well, 823 00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:49,400 Speaker 1: I go off and cuts that people with less social 824 00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:52,320 Speaker 1: capital than me and less of a voice than me, 825 00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:55,600 Speaker 1: And I cuts it people online because I have a 826 00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:58,480 Speaker 1: mental illness, which is really just a way of saying that, well, 827 00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:01,640 Speaker 1: you don't want to be held accountable for causing harm 828 00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:05,200 Speaker 1: to others, right because and that's also offensive to people 829 00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:08,280 Speaker 1: who do have mental illnesses, because what are you saying 830 00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:11,520 Speaker 1: that people who have mental illness is diagnosed, medicated or 831 00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:15,040 Speaker 1: not medicated. I don't know how to control themselves or 832 00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:17,480 Speaker 1: don't know how to hold themselves accountable, or don't know 833 00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:18,719 Speaker 1: how to be good to it, or don't know how 834 00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:20,640 Speaker 1: to be good to other people, because that's not really 835 00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:24,040 Speaker 1: always how it works, you know. I mean, at the 836 00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:26,239 Speaker 1: end of the day, it's all about like, like what 837 00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:28,799 Speaker 1: we're talking about. This whole episode is about love and 838 00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:30,440 Speaker 1: how you love yourself and how you show up in 839 00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:33,680 Speaker 1: situations where you love other people. And like, we're all 840 00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:36,000 Speaker 1: dealing with a bunch of different kinds of traumas, even 841 00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:39,200 Speaker 1: just as people of color insisting in spaces that don't 842 00:43:39,239 --> 00:43:41,719 Speaker 1: welcome us and don't want us in these spaces. But 843 00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:43,400 Speaker 1: it's just like, how do you show up as the 844 00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:45,680 Speaker 1: best you? And how do you magnify that love that 845 00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:48,840 Speaker 1: you have for yourself like towards other people. If like 846 00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:51,680 Speaker 1: most of what you're based on is not that, then 847 00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:53,960 Speaker 1: like you're sucking up somewhere and you need to like 848 00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:56,600 Speaker 1: take a second and like chill out and like go 849 00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:59,080 Speaker 1: like some candles and like do some beer by yourself, 850 00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:02,880 Speaker 1: and like whatever it is, um bring some stage. But 851 00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:06,520 Speaker 1: everything that we're supposed to do for our own betterment 852 00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:08,759 Speaker 1: and the betterment of who we are as people, And 853 00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:10,439 Speaker 1: sometimes if you don't know how to do that, then 854 00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:12,600 Speaker 1: just chill out and let somebody else do it and 855 00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:14,839 Speaker 1: take you figure it out. How do we get here? 856 00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:20,279 Speaker 1: I don't know. She's self via self love, and she's 857 00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:23,520 Speaker 1: mad self love. She's me for self love. Yeah, but 858 00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:25,800 Speaker 1: I think I think we've we've talked about a lot 859 00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:29,640 Speaker 1: today just in the past what like forty five minutes, 860 00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:32,799 Speaker 1: and I think, um, maybe if we want to if 861 00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:35,120 Speaker 1: we have anything that we want to say in closing 862 00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:39,319 Speaker 1: final words, because we need to wrap up, you know, Um, 863 00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:42,359 Speaker 1: I know everybody has places that they need to be 864 00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:46,000 Speaker 1: and we want to thank everybody for coming today. Thank 865 00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:50,200 Speaker 1: you Yesato, for showing up and for talking to us 866 00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:52,840 Speaker 1: and our listeners. So is there any last words, anything 867 00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:54,520 Speaker 1: else that you guys want to say on the topic 868 00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:57,040 Speaker 1: or anything for the listeners who tuned in for this. 869 00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:05,080 Speaker 1: Just celebrate yourselves, you know, celebrate when surrounding that are 870 00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:08,799 Speaker 1: creating an amazing content, Like this podcast is so necessary, 871 00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:11,799 Speaker 1: Like I get to travel on the other latinas and 872 00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:14,600 Speaker 1: just people want to go do poetry and in other cities. 873 00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:19,040 Speaker 1: And the fact that radio has been like mentioned in 874 00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:25,120 Speaker 1: another city. So it's like, but if you're listening to 875 00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:28,680 Speaker 1: this and you're actually that's in another city and whatever, 876 00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:31,279 Speaker 1: it just like always reach out. We're all hella, like 877 00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:35,799 Speaker 1: we all met, party met, we met, like but but 878 00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:37,840 Speaker 1: and the way that we met it so funny, funny 879 00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:40,840 Speaker 1: because like we met up right and we were supposed 880 00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:43,640 Speaker 1: to go to one location. But one of the mommies 881 00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:46,239 Speaker 1: and I'm not going to expose her, because you know, 882 00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:47,960 Speaker 1: I'm not going to be rude, but one of the 883 00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:51,319 Speaker 1: mommies had an empty bottle of what I don't know what, 884 00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:53,360 Speaker 1: I don't remember what it was. I think it was 885 00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:55,759 Speaker 1: an empty bottle of tequila or whiskey or something in 886 00:45:55,800 --> 00:46:00,279 Speaker 1: her purse. Hennessy it was Hennessy, I don't member, but 887 00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:01,839 Speaker 1: she had an empty bottle in her purse. So we 888 00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:04,279 Speaker 1: were going to get in line to go to the 889 00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:07,120 Speaker 1: Down and Out because that was the location that like 890 00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:09,680 Speaker 1: Latina Rebels and she's gonna fire put out blast to 891 00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:12,279 Speaker 1: everybody meet us at the Down and Out. So every 892 00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:14,240 Speaker 1: you guys were expecting I don't know how many people, 893 00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:17,719 Speaker 1: a lot expecting a lot of people. I saw the 894 00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:20,000 Speaker 1: post online and I was like, I'm going I have 895 00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:22,799 Speaker 1: to meet these girls, right. So we get there and 896 00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:24,839 Speaker 1: we're all getting into the Down and Out. Everything's fine, 897 00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:26,680 Speaker 1: but then our one home girl who had the bottle, 898 00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:29,520 Speaker 1: they stopped her. They searched her purse, they found the bottle, 899 00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:31,880 Speaker 1: and they were like, you can't come in. And she 900 00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:34,279 Speaker 1: was like a very integral person who needed to be 901 00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:35,839 Speaker 1: there right, they were like, we can't let you into 902 00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:37,600 Speaker 1: the down and out. So then the rest of us 903 00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:40,600 Speaker 1: are like, what the fuck, and like Brisca's like, we're 904 00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:44,120 Speaker 1: expecting like a ton of like women to show up, 905 00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:46,759 Speaker 1: like for us, you have to let us in, and 906 00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:49,480 Speaker 1: they were like no, like you can't. It was so 907 00:46:49,719 --> 00:46:52,759 Speaker 1: dramatic and unnecessary. So then we went across the street 908 00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:54,640 Speaker 1: to on a lounge and then we turned up and 909 00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:59,320 Speaker 1: then we met each other and so selfies and latina. 910 00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:01,920 Speaker 1: It's just part mean in the room and I remember 911 00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:03,720 Speaker 1: I was at Barne was just like is it your birthday? 912 00:47:03,719 --> 00:47:07,400 Speaker 1: I'm like no, that was a bunch of us celebrating 913 00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:11,200 Speaker 1: ourselves without any of y'all. Yeah, but that's how we met, 914 00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:14,200 Speaker 1: like through partying and like shout out to like all 915 00:47:14,239 --> 00:47:16,279 Speaker 1: of the women that are like have layers and are 916 00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:19,480 Speaker 1: like the passages that do everything. You know, and this 917 00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:22,600 Speaker 1: is to yourself to go out, you'll meet that, you're 918 00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:24,880 Speaker 1: going to meet your money anywhere, and like we're always 919 00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:27,520 Speaker 1: down to like have a good time. Yes, we were 920 00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:30,080 Speaker 1: complex beings, you know. I think that was like probably 921 00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:32,400 Speaker 1: one of the highlights of was like meeting all of 922 00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:34,920 Speaker 1: y'all in real life because I know we all followed 923 00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:38,960 Speaker 1: each other via social media, Like Marizza followed me when 924 00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:41,560 Speaker 1: I was living in Peru and she followed me because 925 00:47:41,560 --> 00:47:43,799 Speaker 1: she said, I don't know how she saw we were 926 00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:47,880 Speaker 1: connected somehow via social media. Turns out she's been wanna 927 00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:51,160 Speaker 1: she like still has family in Fidu, and we ended 928 00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:54,120 Speaker 1: up talking via social media that way, and then comes 929 00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:57,080 Speaker 1: that turns out that she organizes with one of our 930 00:47:57,239 --> 00:48:01,759 Speaker 1: friends here in Orange County. So it's just small world. 931 00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:04,440 Speaker 1: We're all connected and it's really great. So I'm really 932 00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:11,040 Speaker 1: glad that we all met in my life. Yeah, vulnerability 933 00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:18,920 Speaker 1: is important, yes, it UM. I think just a reminder 934 00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:22,000 Speaker 1: that there are resources out there for us that that 935 00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:25,880 Speaker 1: we can definitely utilize. I mean, I work with unacompanied miners, 936 00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:30,200 Speaker 1: and I work like advocating mental health UM and therapy 937 00:48:30,239 --> 00:48:35,480 Speaker 1: and all all of these things too. Families, especially UM, 938 00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:38,120 Speaker 1: it's primarily Central American families, and just talking to them 939 00:48:38,120 --> 00:48:41,040 Speaker 1: about about mental health and destigmatizing it like we were 940 00:48:41,040 --> 00:48:44,399 Speaker 1: talking about UM and just starting that conversation with them 941 00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:48,360 Speaker 1: about the importance and I'm constantly telling them you should 942 00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:50,759 Speaker 1: treat your your mental health like you would treat your 943 00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:54,560 Speaker 1: physical health. If you're hurt and you cut your leg 944 00:48:54,920 --> 00:48:56,680 Speaker 1: and you need to go to the hospital, like you 945 00:48:56,680 --> 00:48:59,120 Speaker 1: would obviously do that right away, Why would we treat 946 00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:03,279 Speaker 1: our mental health any differently, Like it's just as important. UM. 947 00:49:03,320 --> 00:49:05,600 Speaker 1: So I'm constantly advocating for that and talking to our 948 00:49:05,640 --> 00:49:09,680 Speaker 1: families and binding resources for our unaccompanied miners because they've 949 00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:14,759 Speaker 1: been through some ship and UM it's just providing them 950 00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:17,719 Speaker 1: these outlets that they so desperately need. And the more 951 00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:20,919 Speaker 1: I've networked with other organizations, there's so much, so much 952 00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:24,440 Speaker 1: funding and resources out there that's put specifically for our 953 00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:28,400 Speaker 1: communities that we need to utilize. UM. So they're out there. 954 00:49:28,680 --> 00:49:31,480 Speaker 1: UM we can always connect you with those things if 955 00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:35,160 Speaker 1: you if you want to know more, I'm specifically located 956 00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:37,880 Speaker 1: in downtown l A. So that that's kind of the 957 00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:40,359 Speaker 1: network that I'm into right now. I just started seeing 958 00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:44,640 Speaker 1: a therapist last Thursday that I'm absolutely in love with. UM. 959 00:49:44,719 --> 00:49:48,000 Speaker 1: So I'm I'm so looking forward to to what's gonna 960 00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:53,520 Speaker 1: happen and grand thank you for sharing that. So I 961 00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:58,560 Speaker 1: guess for us from last look, our last words would 962 00:49:58,560 --> 00:50:01,480 Speaker 1: be thank you for tuning in, thank you for listening 963 00:50:01,560 --> 00:50:05,920 Speaker 1: to us again, and for supporting and for listening to Mariza. 964 00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:09,560 Speaker 1: Yesica and Gott will talk about you know, love and 965 00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:11,839 Speaker 1: mental health and all the chess men, all the ship 966 00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:14,480 Speaker 1: that we like to talk about on the regular anyways, 967 00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:20,160 Speaker 1: and um, we are gonna be posting announcements for our 968 00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:23,759 Speaker 1: next number four, so look out for that. This is 969 00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:29,040 Speaker 1: our last so we have so many wonderful things planned 970 00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:33,560 Speaker 1: for seventeen, so stay tuned. Um, yeah, we'll be posting 971 00:50:33,560 --> 00:50:36,440 Speaker 1: announcements on Instagram and all the other exciting things we 972 00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:40,920 Speaker 1: have planned. So yeah, thanks for listening. Thank you, Bessitas