1 00:00:00,680 --> 00:00:04,280 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter and listen. If you 2 00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:07,840 Speaker 1: need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:12,959 Speaker 1: Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com 4 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:15,920 Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. That's all you have to do, 5 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:18,959 Speaker 1: and we could rereading your letter live on the air, 6 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 1: just like we're going to read this one right here today. 7 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,880 Speaker 1: All right, buckle up, hold on tight, we got it. 8 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:28,520 Speaker 1: Fool you here at ease. Strawberry Letter, Thank you enough. Subject. 9 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:32,680 Speaker 1: I never wanted to be the other woman. Dear Stephen Shirley. 10 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:35,120 Speaker 1: I'm a single mother and I'm at a nice guy 11 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:38,400 Speaker 1: two years ago at a local bar. I wasn't interested 12 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:41,720 Speaker 1: at first because he is significantly older than me and 13 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:45,720 Speaker 1: his overall look is completely different than what I typically 14 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:48,680 Speaker 1: like in a man. I didn't pay him much attention 15 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:51,440 Speaker 1: and I didn't give him my phone number. As I 16 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:53,960 Speaker 1: was leaving the bar, I told him how to find 17 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:57,160 Speaker 1: me on social media. Later that night, he reached out 18 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:59,480 Speaker 1: to me on Instagram and said it was great meeting 19 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 1: me and he wanted to make sure I got home safely. 20 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:06,280 Speaker 1: He messaged me often and I would respond. I started 21 00:01:06,319 --> 00:01:09,479 Speaker 1: looking forward to hearing from him daily and we really 22 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:12,720 Speaker 1: got to know each other that way. He was very 23 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:15,280 Speaker 1: transparent and he told me that he was in a 24 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:19,280 Speaker 1: long term relationship with a great woman. His honesty made 25 00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:22,280 Speaker 1: me like him even more and I started opening up 26 00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:25,600 Speaker 1: to him and we exchanged phone numbers. I agreed to 27 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:28,039 Speaker 1: meet with him just to talk, and it was good 28 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:31,480 Speaker 1: to actually see him in person after months of messages 29 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:34,880 Speaker 1: on Instagram. It was such a great meeting that I 30 00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:38,200 Speaker 1: really started falling for this guy. We started meeting up 31 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:41,960 Speaker 1: more frequently in public and in private, and we eventually 32 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:46,840 Speaker 1: had sex. Nothing is changed about him and his relationship status, 33 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:49,640 Speaker 1: and he tells me that he wants to be with me. 34 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 1: To make matters worse, his girlfriend is my sorority sister 35 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:56,360 Speaker 1: and we were at an event together recently. I have 36 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:59,720 Speaker 1: never met her, but it's really weird. If he leaves 37 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 1: her for me, which is what he tells me he 38 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:05,840 Speaker 1: plans to do, this could get messy. I like this 39 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 1: guy a lot, but he's a cheater and I don't 40 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,520 Speaker 1: know if I would ever be able to trust him. 41 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:14,760 Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley, what should I do in this situation? Do 42 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:17,720 Speaker 1: I continue to talk to him and see what happens? 43 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:21,640 Speaker 1: Or run for the hills. Okay, this is one of 44 00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:25,040 Speaker 1: those letters where you already know the answer before you 45 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 1: even write in. You know what to do, You know 46 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:30,840 Speaker 1: what's going on. You didn't give us any ages or 47 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:33,960 Speaker 1: how old you are. You said just that he's significantly 48 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:38,080 Speaker 1: older than you, and you liked him because he was 49 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 1: honest with you about his long term relationship with a woman. 50 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:46,480 Speaker 1: So this can't be your man when you really think 51 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:50,160 Speaker 1: about it. I think the turn on for you it 52 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 1: is just the fact that he's unavailable and that he 53 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:57,520 Speaker 1: says he wants you, not her. You didn't even like 54 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:01,480 Speaker 1: him at first. He's an old man who knows what 55 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:05,680 Speaker 1: to do to get you, and he has you right 56 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:08,280 Speaker 1: where he wants you. Okay. He can go home to 57 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 1: his other woman that he's been in a relationship with 58 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 1: a very long time, and then he has you on 59 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 1: the side. He was honest about telling you about his 60 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:20,639 Speaker 1: other woman, but lying through his teeth about leaving her 61 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:24,760 Speaker 1: for you. All men say that it's a lot easier 62 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,640 Speaker 1: to leave a girlfriend than a wife. So why hasn't 63 00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 1: he left her yet? If he wants to be with 64 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:32,720 Speaker 1: you as he said, so I tell you, don't don't 65 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:34,800 Speaker 1: believe the hype. I mean, if you don't want to 66 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,520 Speaker 1: be the other woman, you got to stop being the 67 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:40,880 Speaker 1: other woman, as simple as that. I mean, your feelings, 68 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,080 Speaker 1: you know, may be involved, but if you don't want 69 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:46,200 Speaker 1: to be that, you can stop. I say you do this, 70 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:50,800 Speaker 1: give him an ultimate him, say her or me, and 71 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:53,320 Speaker 1: see what he does. He's gonna stay right over there 72 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,920 Speaker 1: with her, and you're gonna be the side piece like 73 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:59,440 Speaker 1: you already are. He's not going to choose you. Steve. 74 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:07,560 Speaker 1: I never wanted to be the other woman, but it 75 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:17,560 Speaker 1: you is. Let us begin. I never wanted to be 76 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:25,640 Speaker 1: the other woman, but you is. I'm a single mother. 77 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:28,000 Speaker 1: Met this nice guy a couple of years ago at 78 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 1: a local bar the right here. These are old people 79 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:41,480 Speaker 1: who meets at a local bar. She's old too, Yeah, 80 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:46,080 Speaker 1: who meets at a local bar? A local bar? Don't 81 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:49,400 Speaker 1: nobody go to taverns? No more, don't nobody go to 82 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:54,720 Speaker 1: the bar up the street? Yeah? These are these both? 83 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:59,760 Speaker 1: These old people? She old? He old? Uh? Because two 84 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:02,560 Speaker 1: years ago, at two years ago, they met at a 85 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:09,360 Speaker 1: local bar. Who meets at a bar? Young people club? 86 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 1: And now who as a bar? Just a local bar 87 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:16,200 Speaker 1: where the locals go to when the last time you 88 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:20,760 Speaker 1: heard that. I wasn't interested first because he's significantly older. 89 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:23,960 Speaker 1: He an old ass dude over the bar, had a cigarette, 90 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:30,520 Speaker 1: a drink, short stingy brim on, and then you know 91 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:33,479 Speaker 1: he overlooked. He completely different to what I typically like it. 92 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,320 Speaker 1: I ain't paying much attention and I didn't give my 93 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,440 Speaker 1: phone number. If I was leaving the bar. I told 94 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:42,080 Speaker 1: him how to find me on social media. She probably 95 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:48,000 Speaker 1: said I'm on my Space. He said, I still old old, Yeah, yeah, 96 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:53,280 Speaker 1: that's probably that. He reached out to Instagram, said the 97 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,160 Speaker 1: great meet me and wanted to make sure I got 98 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:59,800 Speaker 1: home safety. That's another old ass statement. You know how 99 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:02,120 Speaker 1: old you got to be to make sure a woman 100 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:08,640 Speaker 1: get home safely? You got to be old. Don Young 101 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:12,039 Speaker 1: people don't do that, Steve, No, that's an old dude statement. 102 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:14,480 Speaker 1: I just want call and make sure you got home safely. 103 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:20,200 Speaker 1: That's an old playoff statement. Right, Well, we come back. 104 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:23,040 Speaker 1: I got the rest of this letter for you, all right, 105 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 1: We'll have part two coming up at twenty three minutes 106 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,920 Speaker 1: after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter. I never wanted to 107 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,800 Speaker 1: be the other woman. We'll get back into it right 108 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 1: after this. You're listening to show. All right, come on, Steve, 109 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:41,080 Speaker 1: Let's recap today's Strawberry Letters subject. I never wanted to 110 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:47,800 Speaker 1: be the other woman, but you he is. These two 111 00:06:47,839 --> 00:06:53,160 Speaker 1: old people met at a local bar. Local. They both 112 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:56,760 Speaker 1: walk up there. I wasn't interested at first because he's 113 00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:01,040 Speaker 1: significantly older than me and his overall look is completely 114 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:04,400 Speaker 1: different from what I typically like in a man. So 115 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:07,840 Speaker 1: she had met this old dude at the ball Stanji 116 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:14,200 Speaker 1: brim On short sleep polo shirt bandln you know, got on, 117 00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:19,360 Speaker 1: got on the lawn jeans, watch Stacy Adam and he 118 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:25,320 Speaker 1: dranking brown Adam Dune. Yeah. I didn't pay much attention. 119 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:27,760 Speaker 1: I ain't giving my phone number. As I was leaving, 120 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,360 Speaker 1: I told him how to find me on social media. 121 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:32,720 Speaker 1: Late that night, he reached out to me on Instagram 122 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,760 Speaker 1: and said it was great meeting me. He wanted to 123 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:37,520 Speaker 1: make sure I got home safely. That's an old school 124 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:39,920 Speaker 1: player move. Want to make sure you got home safely. 125 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 1: He messages me often and I would respond, so I 126 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,680 Speaker 1: started looking forward to hear from daily. We got to 127 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:51,120 Speaker 1: know each other. We got to know each other that way. 128 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 1: Now here we here go the player move. They always say, 129 00:07:55,920 --> 00:08:00,120 Speaker 1: we're very transparent he told me he was in a 130 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:04,600 Speaker 1: long term relationship with a great woman. Yeah. Now his 131 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:11,080 Speaker 1: honesty made me feel made me like him even more. 132 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:14,760 Speaker 1: You falling for that, and I started opening up to him, 133 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:22,760 Speaker 1: and y'all exchanged phone numbers. These people still got house numbers. Yeah, 134 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,800 Speaker 1: I says. I agreed to meet him just to talk 135 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:29,880 Speaker 1: and it was good to see me in person at 136 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:32,880 Speaker 1: the monst on Instagram. It was a great meeting. I 137 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:36,000 Speaker 1: started falling for this guy. We started meeting up more 138 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:39,880 Speaker 1: frequently in public and private, and we eventually had sex. 139 00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:45,880 Speaker 1: Nothing has changed about him and his relationship status. But 140 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:49,880 Speaker 1: he tells me that he wants to be with me. Yeah, 141 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:51,880 Speaker 1: that's how you get to be with a woman. You 142 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:56,080 Speaker 1: tell her you won't hug the way. What's what's the 143 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:59,800 Speaker 1: new stuff? He tells me that he wants to be 144 00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:05,400 Speaker 1: with me. We all say that, Yeah, we posted to 145 00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 1: make matters worse. His girlfriend is my sorority system. She 146 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:24,040 Speaker 1: is one of the founders. That's how old is yeah, 147 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:28,000 Speaker 1: or if she ain't the founder, her mama founder sorority. 148 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:34,040 Speaker 1: Now they both in the same sort and they were 149 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:38,959 Speaker 1: an event together recently. I've never met her, but it 150 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:45,200 Speaker 1: was really weird. What. Okay, I'm confused. You all were 151 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:48,840 Speaker 1: both at an event together. I've never met her, but 152 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:52,160 Speaker 1: it was really weird. Well, she knew who she was? 153 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 1: How she know her? Maybe he described her and you know, 154 00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:02,319 Speaker 1: maybe he's told her her name something some clue. How 155 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:08,319 Speaker 1: small was this event? That's what you're worried about, the 156 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:13,200 Speaker 1: size of the event. Then hold on. If he leaves 157 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:15,280 Speaker 1: her for me, which is what he tells me he 158 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:19,000 Speaker 1: plans to do, this could get messy. How is gonna 159 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:23,480 Speaker 1: get messy? Y'all in the same sorority, I don't understand. 160 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:26,360 Speaker 1: I like this guy a lot, but he's a cheetah 161 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:32,280 Speaker 1: and I don't whoah oh, he's a cheatah. So you 162 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:35,640 Speaker 1: think because he had been in this long term relationship 163 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,320 Speaker 1: with this woman and he's seeing you, that that jest 164 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:43,199 Speaker 1: makes him a cheetah. You don't. You don't see yourself 165 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:49,040 Speaker 1: as a cheetah. Okay, let me let me let me 166 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:53,600 Speaker 1: break this down for you women. The number one question 167 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:56,200 Speaker 1: I get asked when I'm touring with the books and anything, 168 00:10:56,840 --> 00:11:00,640 Speaker 1: Steve White, doe me and cheat? Do you know? One 169 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:04,520 Speaker 1: of my answers is because there are so many women 170 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:10,160 Speaker 1: willing to cheat with us if you know that this 171 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,720 Speaker 1: man is in a long term relationship and he's been 172 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:17,520 Speaker 1: transparent about it, and you sleep with him, He's not 173 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:25,160 Speaker 1: the only cheater. You're a cheater too. I know you 174 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:30,240 Speaker 1: don't want to hear this because you own but you're 175 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:35,800 Speaker 1: a cheater too. I like this guy a lot, but 176 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:39,640 Speaker 1: he's a cheater. What he's you? What are you? And 177 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:43,240 Speaker 1: I don't know what is you? And I don't know 178 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,719 Speaker 1: if I would ever be able to trust him. I 179 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:50,560 Speaker 1: don't know if he can trust you because you ain't 180 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:54,400 Speaker 1: got no problem sleeping with me, and that's already in relationships. 181 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,480 Speaker 1: So you're throwing this up in his face. He could 182 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:02,640 Speaker 1: throw that up in your face. Steven Shirley, what do 183 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:05,559 Speaker 1: I do in this situation? Do I continue to talk 184 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:08,479 Speaker 1: to him and see what happens? Or run for the heels? 185 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,800 Speaker 1: You said at the top of the letter, I never 186 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,559 Speaker 1: wanted to be the other woman I said you is? 187 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:15,760 Speaker 1: And then at the bottom of the letter, do I 188 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,400 Speaker 1: continue to talk to him and see what happens? The 189 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:23,000 Speaker 1: hell you think gonna happen? She already knows. Why wouldn't 190 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:26,480 Speaker 1: he leave her to get you when he already got you? Check? 191 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:30,760 Speaker 1: All right? Steve, thank you. Post your comments man, don't 192 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:36,080 Speaker 1: do promotions, Oh lord. Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter. 193 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:39,520 Speaker 1: It's Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check 194 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:42,800 Speaker 1: out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now coming up 195 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:45,160 Speaker 1: at forty six minutes after the hour count down to 196 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:48,160 Speaker 1: Super Bowl fifty four, we're gonna talk about it. Right 197 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:52,000 Speaker 1: after this. You're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show.